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His weather is just fine, thanks
Weather looks fine to us.

This … does not even make sense:

“May as well … announce this. I’m not going to get into details because of the security nature of things, but it turns out that we will not be able to do the program here tomorrow,” [Rush] Limbaugh said Thursday. “We’ll be on the air next week, folks, from parts unknown.”

Limbaugh said the show will be back on the air Monday, but to be on the air Friday would be “legally impossible” for them do to the show out of South Florida.

He said it would just be “problematic” for him to go on the air Friday, and also that he was totally planning to go to the movies but that’s “blown to smithereens” now, which just sucks.

But why though? Why is Rush Limbaugh going to “parts unknown,” where there may or may not be a swimming pool full of prescription pills? Is there something going on in South Florida right now?

We do remember Limbaugh earlier this week talking about some alleged “storm” called “Hurricane Irma,” that Al Gore and the Illuminati and its front companies “Aquafina” and “Duracell” have been lying about, that is supposedly going to hit South Florida this weekend, where Limbaugh lives. He said “the system” is #rigged, and that liberal commie-sexuals like Florida GOP Governor Rick Scott are in cahoots with Big Weather Channel and that it’s just one big scam to make people buy too much bottled water and batteries, which is stupid because man-made climate change is fake and Al Gore is fat.

????

We are extremely for confuse. Is Rush Limbaugh a hypocrite? Or is he a pussy scared of some alleged #FalseFlag storm? OR IS HE BOTH?

Goddammit. We bet Rush is on his private aero-plane right now going to “parts unknown,” viciously gulping down bottled water and stuffing extra batteries in his vibrator, like a common sheeple. WHO GOT TO HIM?

This just goes to show that even patriotic conservatives like Rush Limbaugh aren’t safe from George Soros Susan Rice unmasking Vince Foster globalists Bilderberg fake news greedy “scientists” with their so-called “science” Benghazi CONSPIRACY!!!!!!11!

Speaking of cocks who are scared of common hurricanes, here is an adorable picture of a bunch of cocks wrapped in burritos evacuating the storm, because if the cocks aren’t burritoed they will fight with each other.

Did they have to wrap Rush Limbaugh up in a burrito for his own evacuation safety too? Magic 8 Ball says “where they get a sheet that big?” because Magic 8 Ball is kind of a dick.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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[Think Progress]

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  • Nounverb911

    Do they make cargo planes big enough to take his horde of oxy with him?

    • PubOption

      The Antonov AN-124 can handle 150 tons.

      • dave in texas

        So, two trips then.

  • IdiotsforPalin

    What he do now that Irma has destroyed his little boy sex brothel in DR?

  • Nounverb911

    “be “legally impossible” for them do to the show”
    Wait, are Dominican pool boys finally suing him?

    • onedollarjuana

      Maybe they’re coming up the driveway with a pair of handcuffs and a warrant.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Rooster Burritos!

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Well, chicken is a versatile meat product. Otherwise, what would anyone keep that many roosters? As a former backyard chicken-ist, I can tell you that even having one rooster in the flock is a pain in the ass.

    • A Bashful Nobody

      Burrito libelz!!!

  • x111e7thst

    Evian and Eveready surely

  • Jim QuinnX

    Methinks he doth puss out too much.

  • Nounverb911
    • Jim QuinnX

      WON”T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE FELINES!!

    • SomeBigRedDog

      Six toes? MUTANT CATS!!!!!!!!

      cats are weird.

    • DerrickWildcat

      Save Cats!

    • Wild Cat

      “Pollydactyl want a cracker?”

    • little miss high and mighty

      we want 6 toes, too, and fingers and more brownies.
      Thse beasts live like royalty

      • Paul

        “Heck of a job, Brownie.”

    • Panika MCD
    • LucindathePook

      I got one of those cats. We were visited in KW on July 4, 1975 and they were downsizing, so we got one. Named him Fourth and gave him to college roommate, fellow English major.

    • Paul

      Quick!! Someone grab those pussies.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Limbaugh said the show will be back on the air Monday, but to be on the air Friday would be “legally impossible” for them do to the show out of South Florida.

    In other words, one of his lower-paid employees said “If you make me come in on Friday instead of letting me get the fuck out of town, I’ll sue your sorry ass so hard Irma won’t be nothing compared to how fast your head is spinning. And that’s not even mentioning the shit that’ll come out in the deposition.” And Rush’s lawyers were like, “Yeah, better close up shop for the nonce.”

  • arglebargle

    That’s how Mom and Dad used to transport us when going to visit the Grandparents out of state.

    • Courser_Resistance

      My parents would have if they’d known of that option. To be fair, my dad actually thought of it after having to share a small airplane with a bunch of sled dogs in gunny sacks. Basically the same thing, don’t want them to get in trouble on a plane. Forget motherfucking snakes.

      Also too, would you drive a car full of chickens that *weren’t* burrito’d, roosters or not? I would not. I once drove a Toyota Celica with 5 borzoi and even in the back of a minivan with 2 llamas but no, I will not drive in a car full of chickens.

      • PubOption

        I saw a chicken in a sack with a hole cut out for its head, on the luggage carousel at Bogota airport. I wasn’t sure if the locals would have appreciated my taking a photo, so don’t have evidence to back the claim.

  • Me not sure

    Rush has a flashlight, a Swiss Army Knife, a canteen and a grocery bag full of hillbilly heroin. He’ll be fine.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Don’t fall for it, Rush! Don’t give in to the liberal weather conspiracy! Stay and show them the power of conservative thinking!

  • Nounverb911

    Is he bringing his wife with him?

    • arglebargle

      Who?

      • Nounverb911

        The woman he married that time he paid Elton John $1M to sing at his wedding.

        • arglebargle

          Yeah, she must have a good connection.

      • I think her name is Beardarella.

    • shastakoala

      Which one?

  • Scooby

    He was just afraid Florida was going to run out of OxyContin.

    • (((fka_donnie_d)))

      Unpossible, that’s where the Oxy Mine is located

    • janecita

      Lol, Florida would never run out of Oxys, that’s their number one export.

  • whitroth

    I’d say “legally impossible” meant that he was in a mandatory evacuation zone, as declared by his good Reptilian guv’nor. And that the radio station was going to be off the air, to clear all channels for emergency information.

    But I’m surprised. My native-Texan b&s-i-l’s were in a mandatory evac zone in TX, and stayed. Guess Limburger isn’t man enough to be a Free Citizen. (And he hasn’t managed to stock up on oxycontin.)

    And no, turkey, for that pic, a cigar is *not* just a cigar, you dickweasel.

  • laughingnome

    Rush would have wrapped his cock but he couldn’t find it.

  • jesuswasablack
    • arglebargle

      Why did I read that as “information contained heroin…”

    • Ωbjectifier

      Parts unknown cuz 304 Royal Palm Way ain’t gonna be there Monday.

    • tihond

      He’s a regular Hundson Hawk.

  • BigCSouthside

    Lol he looks like he’s sucking a big brown dick

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    Parts Unknown needs to lock the gate NOW, before conservative, white male refugees flood in, start raping all the wives and daughters, and taking all the jerbs.

    • arglebargle

      I was with you up until you said they’d take all the jobs. Lazy fucks that lot.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        They will take all the jerbs that require sitting on your ass and yelling crazy opinions into a microphone. And those are the best jerbs!

  • The Wanderer

    Rush is flying to his super-secret NAMBLA lair, where he’ll be shown to his private suite well-equipped with young boys, Oxycontin and Cuban cigars.

    • Wild Cat

      I wonder if he bothers to take his wife, if he’s still actually pretending to be married.

  • laughingnome

    Is there any more detestable creature than Limbaugh? He is just the worst on earth.

    • Nounverb911

      Mitch McConnell?

      • Notreelyhelping

        All of the above.

      • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

        Mitch has my vote – for most detestable creature, that is.

    • arglebargle

      Sean Hannity?

    • IdiotsforPalin

      Dick Cheney

    • altleftjohn

      Uh . . . no . . .

    • P’jama Pahnts

      Ramsay Bolton? (but not by much)

    • ken schankler

      Donald Trump

  • DerrickWildcat

    Get your stilettos and Top Gun uniform ready Melania.

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    Rush, let me say this again for the hearing impaired.

    GO TO BEACH. AWAIT RESCUE IN TWO DAYS.

    • ken schankler

      Go to beach. Peg rescue as liberal conspiracy. Drown.

  • ManchuCandidate

    How many hoaxes must a hurricane be till Rush Limbaugh flees in terror?

    The answer my fiend is blowing in the 185 mph winds. The answer is blowing in the wind.

  • Wild Cat

    “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, dittoheads, but in this case, the cigar reminds me of Dominican rent boys’ dicks.”

    • Seriously? I missed being the first to make this joke by 3 goddamn minutes?

    • ken schankler

      I am not making this up.

  • RobKanC

    So, the hurricane is not a liberal propaganda to advance the climate change hoax or is it a big FU to those two idiots who stayed behind because Limbaugh tells it as it is.

  • memzilla Ω

    The best national service Rush could perform would be volunteering as a human levee plug.

  • I’m watching LIVE TV on the Internet (I know, huh)…

    Sure, some houses were built made of sticks and others from straw, but they were built to CODE.
    http://www.gstatic.com/tv/thumb/dvdboxart/173592/p173592_d_v8_aa.jpg

  • laughingnome

    He’s Freuding the hell out of that cigar.

    • Sometimes a cigar is just a 12 year old Dominican boy…

      • sosuume

        He’s gonna need lots of cigars for a while. Dominica was also pounded by the liberal hoax.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Parts Unknown, aka Rush’s vestigial cock and balls.

    • Nockular cavity

      George the Animal Steele libel!

    • BeachBum

      Why parts unknown ? Where’s the trust ? If you cant trust your fellow ‘Mericans in times of crises, who can ya trust ?

  • I really hope he put his money where his mouth is and cancelled his insurance to protest this injustice (which will not stand, man!)

  • Michael Smith

    I saw on the internet today that the government has been sending things out to Irma to make it worse, so that they can convince us that global warming is real so that we will be more dependent on the government.

    • laughingnome

      A C-130 was seen loading massive quantities of vinegar and baking soda.

      • Anna Rompage

        So they’re turning into a elementary school science project volcano?

      • onedollarjuana

        CHEMTRAILS!

    • Fartknocker

      Arkema was going to donate some organic peroxides to eradicate Irma but Jesus smitten the factory in Crosby, TX.

    • Lascauxcaveman

  • DerrickWildcat

    You know for a fact that the Government could stop this Hurricane if they wanted.
    They got things.

  • Indiepalin

    Looks to me like Limbaugh is trying to stay one step ahead of Interpol.

  • mrFawkes

    With all these fires, hurricanes and floods it makes you wonder if America is built on ancient Indian burial grounds.

    • Crystalclear12

      Yes.
      On a related note has anyone checked on the Yellowstone caldera lately?

      • BeachBum

        I was hoping Donnie would go and poke it with a golf club.

        • (((fka_donnie_d)))

          Cue reenactment of the Sarlacc scene

      • Painter of Goats

        Oddly enough I was joking about it with my daughter this week.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        I’ve got a large rectal thermometer. You go stick it in one of the fumaroles.

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        I thought the caldera turned back into a Frenchman when Belle kissed The Beast.

    • BeachBum

      If Homeland Security started in 1492, we would not have most of the problems we do.

      • Panika MCD

        if Homeland Security had prevented people from crossing that damned ice bridge during the Ice Age we would not have any problems ever.

    • Nockular cavity

      Geronimo is someone who’s doing an amazing job and is getting recognized more and more, I notice.

      • mrFawkes

        Didn’t he used to date Lizzy Warren?

        • Nockular cavity

          FAKE NEWS!

    • TundraGrifter

      Have you seen the giant effigy mounds in the Midwest? Apparently they used to be everywhere.

      Here in NorCal we do have a shopping center in Emeryville built on an Indian ground. The street name is “Shell Mound” – a hint. Bay Farm Island in Alameda was built by dumping a mound about ten feet high and several blocks in size into San Francisco Bay. Today all that’s left on the Big Island is Mound Street.

  • shastakoala

    OT: There is the cutest little old lady, Doris, on MSNBC waiting for her son to come pick her up.

    • proudgrampa

      Yeah! Yay for Doris!

      • shastakoala

        Honestly, I’d go pick her up myself if I were anywhere near.

        • shastakoala

          Doris has been picked up by her son. And she told everybody to have a good time! :)

    • Eileen Besse

      This is one of THE BEST things that happened today!!!!!

  • proudgrampa

    I never knew you could wrap your rascal in a burrito.

    I wonder what that’s like?

    • laughingnome

      It’s okay at first. Don’t add the hot sauce.

      • Painter of Goats

        Skip the green chili as well.

  • AJ Milne

    ‘Where they get a sheet that big?’

    … there’s apparently a tarpaulin manufactured for use as a floating cover on a dam in Queensland measures 153m x 114m…

    (… I could find out if they’re using it right now, I guess.)

    • Panika MCD

      you might need two of those.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Some baseball stadium is missing its tarp.

  • Crystalclear12

    So. . . wants others to die for his beliefs but not willing to do it himself.
    *checks dictionary*
    Yep, that is the definition of a Republican.

  • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

    Why isn’t #FatAssedChickenShitMotherFuckingLiar trending on Twitter?

  • Panika MCD

    OT – PAGING TJ

    I need some vet tech advice.

  • Picabo

    “One of the most iconic images of Hurricane Andrew is a photograph of flamingos, huddling on their toothpick legs in a tiled bathroom. Ron Magill, now communications director for Zoo Miami, snapped that picture after he and other staff (of then Miami Metrozoo) rounded up the flamingos and put them in the bathroom for safety.”
    http://wlrn.org/post/flamingo-photo https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8a86fc762bc5acec1f98d1a90884bfbb28b6214e435072522d3b6c1b699a8c8b.jpg

  • jesuswasablack
    • jesterpunk

      So Rush is an OxyMoron?

  • Wolf Tracker

    OT: Just got an email from Wells Fargo they reached a settlement for their fuckupery and I am on the list for a piece of the $142 million.

    Didn’t know I had any account made in my name but I am sure as hell not going to argue if they want to give me some money.

    • Be careful, this sounds suspicious to me… Allllllways be on the lookout for potential Email fraud.

      • Wolf Tracker

        I thought that to but I checked it with WF and they didn’t ask for any info just my email address. It is a WF official notice.

    • Wolf Tracker

      I double and triple checked this to make sure it was legit.

      This is the info from LA Times and is the same website for the official settlement notice I used.

      http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-wells-fargo-settlement-20170710-htmlstory.html

      I also contacted WF and they said it is legit.

  • Anna Rompage

    Am I the only one who thinks Lush Limpballs should take a nice leisurely sight seeing tour over the Bermuda Triangle in his private plane?

    Maybe Ann Coulter & Dinesh D’souza would like to join him?

    • jesuswasablack

      Douche, dude and dookie!

      • Wild Cat

        Inhuman Centipede

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    OT: Got the job! Let’s hope they stick to their word this time.

    • Paul

      Good for you. Here’s hoping.

    • Alan

      Wait. Didn’t you get a job a couple of months ago or am I thinking of someone else? Banking or something?

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Months no, weeks yes but yesterday they informed me that they decided to rectract the opening. I was offered a temp job instead. Applied for it today and not only got it but the temp status turned out to be not a given and it might lead to a permanent job and even if it doesn’t lead to a permanent job they let me study Equity management during the job so other companies will be eager to hitch me if this one won’t go to permanent satatus.

        • Alan

          Yep, that was you. Well congratulations!

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Thanks buddy.

    • AngelaHMejia

      my friend’s sister makes $81 every hour on the computer . She has been without work for 7 months but last month her payment was $21281 just working on the computer for a few hours. visit this website

      http://www.jobstodayproductsplay

      ✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿::::da251

      • TundraGrifter

        Thank you but I already have a job with Google that pays 97$/hr and even though it’s just a few minutes each hour it does soak up my free time. My Land Rover Range Rover Red Rover Come Over Comb Over Do Over Easy Over Sleep Over Left Over Run Over It’sall Over is going to be delivered next week. I’m sure because I just sent them my $4,000 for paperwork, licensing, etc. A steal!

  • jesuswasablack

    Well it’s official this fucking hurricane just got real, the mother-in-law just arrived from sunny Florida, damn you climate change, damn you!

    https://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/mother-in-law-from-hell.jpg

  • Dutchman
    • Beanz&Berryz

      And on the back it says: “and then grab it nicely”

    • Unhappy Fingers

      I want one of those hats!!

  • Wolf Tracker

    “legally impossible”

    That sounds to me like Rush got hit with a temporary shut down and fines by the FCC for endangering his listeners and is not the first time the FCC shut him down.

    He could be facing civil suits from any idiot that took his advice and suffers harm.

    Hope his mansion get’s razed. Just his though not any of his neighbors.

    • Pilotshark

      “May as well … announce this. I’m not going to get into details because of the security nature of things, but it turns out that we will not be able to do the program here tomorrow,”
      maybe right, what security nature? bet he is not back on the air for a week.

    • Covfefe

      Sounds to me like the commie governor of Floridia entered a mandatory evacuation order and Rush, like the rest of the sheeple, meekly left town, as fast as his two plump legs, and the traffic, allowed.

  • dslindc
    • Except he’s full of Oxy, not chocolate…

    • PubOption

      Will this be the first time he’s lived up to his name?

  • Mr. Blobfish

    needz moar feminazis

    • jesterpunk

      And lesbian farmers.

      • SnarkON

        And falafel. Oops, wrong blowhard idiot.

        • dslindc

          There are so many to keep track of these days, unfortunately.

      • MrTusks

        [lesbian farmer puts one foot up on split rail fence in front of idyllic pastoral scene as the sun sets in the background, puts toothpick in his mouth]

        Yup, the lesbians are comin’ in mighty fine this year, Earl.

  • Nockular cavity

    That is not what I meant when I ordered a chicken burrito, dammit.

    • jesterpunk

      You did say you wanted it fresh.

      • Invisible Bunyip

        Chickens in non-perishable form.

    • Panika MCD

      were you ordering it from the FL Keys?

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Your words, my thoughts. :D

    • Notreelyhelping

      Never buy lunch from a geek restaurant.

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        ISWYDT

  • Bright Bart

    grab those cocks and get ’em outta the storm way!

    • Panika MCD

      are you supposed to cock grab? or does that get in the way of puss burgling?

      • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

        I was under the distinct impression that a “Key West Cock Grab” didn’t involve actual roosters

  • Khavrinen

    If they wrapped Rush up in a giant burrito, maybe they could, um, “accidentally” forget to unwrap him for a while?

  • JohnBull

    Is it wrong to hope that more than a couple of his idiot followers take his advice and stay put?

    • Wolf Tracker

      I don’t wish harm on anyone even his idiots. If they make that decision on their own after seeing all the warnings then that is on them.

      • laineypc

        But Rush will still claim it’s a hoax

    • SayItWithWookies

      Yes. The deceiver is undoubtedly going to be safe, while the deceived suffer and/or perish under that scenario. I’d rather they realize he’s just a fuckin’ liar from a spot out of harm’s way.

    • Persistent Demme

      No.
      (But I can be a bitter ol’ gal!)

  • Jim QuinnX

    I’m not wishing for anyone’s death, exactly, but Florida is pretty evenly divided between Dems and Reps. If Rush’s fanboys stay put, it would elevate the level of political debate down there.

    Not that I’m hoping for that. Just saying. For a friend.

    • laughingnome

      Irma gets a vote.

    • Panika MCD

      we don’t wish ill on big states just because they have idiots among their elected officials. not TX and not FL.

    • Crystalclear12

      Sometimes Darwinism isn’t just a theory.

    • C4TWOMAN

      I’m just wishing for property damage–specifically that Mar-a-lago gets obliterated. Is that so wrong?

  • Notreelyhelping

    “If I had a tower
    I’d broadcast in the morning
    I’d broadcast in the–
    Oh, fuck it, gotta go….”

    • altleftjohn

      If I had a goddamn hammer . . .

  • Msgr_MΩment
    • altleftjohn

      The fuuuuck?

  • Fartknocker

    The photo of Rush reminds me of one of my favorite television characters growing up: Lassie taking a shit.

    • Covfefe

      Lassie was pretty, dude.

  • Painter of Goats

    If those were New Mexican rooster burritos they would be smothered in green chili.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Stopping by the Mexican market after work for some Hatch chiles…

  • DerrickWildcat

    Give the guy a break. He has people like Alex Jones to compete with now.

  • Panika MCD

    where the fuck is TJ?

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      He was around earlier…

      • Panika MCD

        finally got my answer from Jazzy’s clinic.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          And?….

          • Panika MCD

            they told me to pick it up because it is $$$$$$$$$. but I can start mixing it with lest $$$$$$$ food so that her furever home can afford her. I still say she needs a Jazz Mahal!

    • Jonny On Maui

      Whose turn is it to watch him?

      • Panika MCD

        YOURS!

        • Jonny On Maui

          Nah uh! I checked the roster. I’m on for Sunday!

          • Panika MCD

            well, who is on the roster for today? I was supposed to be replaced. because: Hurricane Jazzy.

          • Jonny On Maui

            OutOfOrbit…

  • laughingnome

    Rush is piker. Goebbels broadcast from a bunker when the Rooskies were closing in and then offed himself.

  • BeachBum

    I cannot believe Rubio made sense about Irma in an interview Thursday. Reasonable. Rational. Quoting and supporting the experts and the science. Yes I was sober. Weird.

    • Panika MCD

      it’s hitting his state?

      • BeachBum

        Oh.

    • Crystalclear12

      OK, you’re sober but was Rubio sober?

      • BeachBum

        Ha, now that I dunno !

    • miss_grundy

      Perhaps he believes that Pence will make him vice-president if Tangerini is kicked out of office.

  • Nounverb911

    So 90 House republicans voted against Harveycare!
    https://twitter.com/DearAuntCrabby/status/906230216221220864

    • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

      They seem nice. Especially the ones from Tejas and Flo-Rida

      • Panika MCD

        can we just put them all in a boat?

        • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

          I have a few cans of old nails we could send with them if said boat is of the rubber variety.

    • Jonny On Maui

      How many from the northeast?

    • Covfefe

      Think about how the Gubmint is supposed to pay for all this. Think about slippery slopes. Think about your grandchildren who are going to get stuck with this national debt.

      • yyyaz

        Personally, I think about revising the tax code back to the 1950’s, when, according to these assholes, life was just a chair of bowlies.

        • Covfefe

          There’s limits to everything, including MAGA.

        • puredog

          BLUES MAGOOS LIBELZ!!!

      • laineypc

        something something military budget, repurposing…

    • Panika MCD
      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Is it wrong of me to hope that Abbott blisters their hide for putting their politics over humanity?

        • Panika MCD

          well, Sam Johnson is already retiring…so…yay! you guys get Van Taylor. he’s fuckin’ weird.

        • Panika MCD

          also too: I think Gov. Wheels appointed John Sharp to the job already.

        • Yellerduck

          Nah. He’d have to understand humanity first.

      • miss_grundy

        I bet all four consider themselves “Christians” except they seem to have forgotten the Second Commandment. Dirtbags.

        • Panika MCD

          of course they do. Sam Johnson is retiring so he doesn’t have a fuck left to give.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Isn’t that the one where Moses said thou shalt hoard an arsenal for the Lord thy God?

          • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

            Commandment, not Amendment.

      • Persistent Demme

        Classic!

    • gallbladder

      Well, unless shit hits THEIR states, fuck everyone else. It’s the compassionate conservatism way.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Jeb “not my part of the state” Hensarling voted nay. I’ll bet he features this in his next campaign ad.

      • bupkus231

        This is after he published an op-ed in US News and World Report:

        Link: https://www.usnews.com/opinion/articles/2017-09-05/how-to-fix-national-flood-insurance-before-the-next-hurricane-harvey

        The destruction caused by Hurricane Harvey is unlike anything my home state has ever experienced. As long as I live, I’ll never forget those images of elderly women waiting in waist-deep water to be rescued. I’ll never forget the images of children clinging to their mothers as they waded through flooded streets. No one with a heart could look upon this tragedy and not be moved….

        Sure, he wants to “reform” the National Flood Insurance Program ( which is another thing on this month’s legislative slate – how much ya wanna bet it, too, gets kickjed down the road… ), but it’s pretty godamned plain that this hollow hypocrite cares more about his political fortunes than he does about those poor elderly women and children. He deserves nothing less than pitchforks of votes.

    • BeachBum

      A new low for them. Not unsurprisingly.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      They didn’t like the Sandy victims. They don’t like the Harvey victims. At least give them credit for being horrible people consistently. Assholes.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      I truly do not understand what those people are thinking the government is for.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Enriching themselves.

      • calliecallie

        To provide tax cuts, of course!

    • PubOption

      If Wagner is Ann, I’m not surprised. She once ran a campaign commercial which essentially said “Vote for me, my son was sick, he got better and now he’s a soldier”; naturally she’s against the ACA.

    • bupkus231

      Aaah – this was basically a “free vote” for these assholes. The bill passed the House 316- 90 ( 133 GOPpers voted FOR it, as well as all the Dems ).

      These assholes are going to campaign on this – because they come from districts filled with assholes who think “fiscal responsibility” overrides simple human compassion.

      Get rid of the gerrymandered districts where this kinda thinking dominates, and then maybe they’ll try pretending to be human…

      • HooverVilles

        Maybe?

  • Sheepshagger

    “Friends, this morning, in a cowardly act of perfidy, Polish special forces attacked my transmitter at Gleiwitz. “

  • Internet Hitler

    Why do you think the hurricane is headed there? Right toward Rush? Is he creating a low-pressure zone?

    Is Irma chasing him?!!!1!!??!2

    • Sheepshagger

      Wasn’t the cabana boy named Harvey? Those HAARP guys have a sense of humour.

  • Moebym of the Returners

    Rush: “Everyone, hurricanes are FAKE NEWS!!1!!1 By the way, there’ll be no program tomorrow because I’m evacuating from the hurricane.”

    Don: “Russian collusion is FAKE NEWS11!!1!! By the way, can I pardon myself and my family?”

    Anti-gay activist: “Gay sex is an ABOMINATION!1!11 By the way, what’s the number for the rent boy line?”

  • DerrickWildcat

    Wants to keep his drugs dry.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    He’s a real Dominican Republican.

    • JustDon’tSayDignity

      That’s a lot of angles covered by 5 words. Well done.

  • bookish

    Information for Floridians ahead of Irma.

    http://www.floridadisaster.org/index.asp

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Upright Ape

    OK, the cock burritos are a clever solution to the age old rooster evacuation problem, but my heart yearns to see YouTube vid of nine birds fighting in a SUV in tense bumper to bumper traffic (I’ve kept chickens….roosters are unnecessary).
    Make it so.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      My next door neighbor had a rooster or two, but had to get rid of them. They will protect the flock, but it ends up the crowing can be pretty much a 24 hour thing, and the neighbors hated it. One day Mr Rooster disappeared, did not ask where he went. Back yard chickens can be charming if well kept, roosters not so much.

      • notaten

        In my experience, the roosters tend to get very possessive of their womens eventually. When they start attacking you for trying to collect the eggs, that’s when they end up in the Crock-Pot.

        • Persistent Demme

          Our town had an ordinance that allowed chickens, but not roosters.

          • notaten

            They will crow at any hour of the day or night, whenever they feel like it. Can be very obnoxious and annoying. At least the hens just talk amongst themselves without telling the whole neighborhood about it.

          • Persistent Demme

            Yeah, the way they cluck is kinda sweet!
            One of our humane society volunteers adored chickens.
            She thought they were dumb, but funny.

          • Invisible Bunyip

            The ones smart enough to get out of their enclosures don’t reproduce. Eventually you wind up with all dumb ones.

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          Some breeds are more docile than others, but again it’s a vicarious hobby for me. Given my inclinations, any animal that required a lot of attention and cleanup would not end well. Cats require a once a day scoop and brushing, but will otherwise let you know when they need something.

  • proudgrampa

    Is that a hand-rolled Dominican he has in his hand?

    • yyyaz

      ISWYDT, but even given that, I thought the pic was taken for an ugliest-dog-taking-a-dump contest.

    • SDGeoff3

      He is reputed to have an affinity for rolling little Dominicans.

  • Beowoof14

    Rush a man who thinks his dick is a mudflap to keep the dirt out of his pussy.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Had to read that one a couple times…

      • Parakeetist

        Me too

      • Beowoof14

        Sorry, an old stupid line, that I like when applied to guys such as Rush.

    • JoeChristmas

      He hasn’t sen his junk since Carter was in office.

  • Picabo

    I will post later in the open thread, your thoughts please. I live in Savannah and the forecast from the National Hurricane Center put us in a direct path for Irma. Made evacuation plan to get a hotel southwest of Atlanta. It now appears the Irma will track slightly west of here. So I would have been driving 250 miles to get right into the storm.
    I will make a decision based on the NHC update in an hour, but I think I’m going to ride it out here. I rode out Matthew and this looks about the same.
    Been warning neighbors not to park in an area that was flooded by Matthew.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      All I can tell you is that my oldest brother rode out a hurricane in Stuart, Florida, and he said it was the stupidest thing he ever did in his life.

    • NotDarkYet

      Have you talked with your neighbors? What are their plans? Stay or go?

      • Picabo

        Most are going. The head of maintenance for the apartment complex is staying.

        • NotDarkYet

          Well, you asked for our thoughts, so … here they are (having had experience with Katrina and Rita in LA as well as a few “Sturmfluten” on Germany’s Norderney–an island off the coast): I’d get the hell out and go in a direction based on what the next update says.

          Sure, you MAY be o.k. where you are, BUT, that’s a gamble I wouldn’t take.

          And should it pan out that your evac wasn’t really necessary, I wouldn’t revisit that decision and fret about “I shoulda/coulda” etc.

          And I certainly wouldn’t stay when the next storm hits because THIS time the evac may prove to be unnecessary. A lot of people regret that type of decision-making process, but, generally, they don’t have to live very long with that regret when the shit really hits more than just the fan.

          • TakingAmes

            Once, in undergrad in New Orleans, we evacuated from NOLA when it was forecast to get a direct hit, to Mobile, which then DID get the direct hit. Nothing like a Cat 4 or 5, and we had a nice little hurricane party wherein we ate all the ice cream (mixed with booze) before it melted. Still better than staying on Tulane campus, where we would have had to sleep on some nasty dorm floor.

          • NotDarkYet

            Vanilla ice cream with Kaluha is always yummy — hurricane or no hurricane! :)

    • bookish

      People who refuse to evacuate ahead of disasters put themselves as well as first responders at risk, and further tax critical community resources.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      How far due west would you need to go to be out of the track? oops… Just looked at the track projections… North?

      • Picabo

        We will get a major rain event. Wind, not as much.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          How are your shelter-in-place options? Elevation? Overall preparedness?

          • Picabo

            I’m good.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Friends, company, support?

          • Picabo

            Good.

          • jowgajen

            I don’t see how Atlanta gets you anything from the forecast. It’s either gonna give Atlanta the storm of its life, or hit closer to Savannah, which at least has hurricanes semi-regular. If I could get inland and to the North, I would consider it. If I were super prepared to deal with no power or running water for a couple of days, I might actually stay, provided I’m not close to the water and susceptible to storm surge damage and had a strong shelter to get to.

          • Picabo

            I have lots of water and food. Not close to the ocean.

          • HooverVilles

            You sound prepared! Hope all goes as well as it can!
            PS: I put in a word to the Ceiling Cat for you. And just to be safe I also put in a word to the FSM. Can’t be too cautious you know.
            Stay safe!
            >^o.o^<

          • Picabo

            Thanks.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            How long would it be stormy there? How much rain fall? How much wind?

          • Picabo

            It looks like Matthew. The storm will be moving quickly from Florida to northwest Georgia.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            You sound like you’ve thought it through… You know your house/shelter/situation/support group… There’s no easy other place to go, it seems… Maybe just add 20-25% to estimated winds and rains and durations and see if it still seems do-able…

          • Picabo

            I am a weather nerd. I know how to read a METAR.

    • jowgajen

      It looks dicey still. https://www.accuweather.com/en/weather-news/major-hurricane-irma-likely-to-deliver-destructive-blow-to-florida-this-weekend/70002657

      From this, I would probably look at Charlotte rather than Atlanta.

    • Jim QuinnX

      You should be fine, if the hotel is well-built and has more than one floor. The storm should weaken significantly by the time it gets clear up to Atlanta.

      This is why God invented weather apps.

  • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

    “where they get a sheet that big?”

    South Florida Tent and Awning?

  • Beowoof14

    Rush with that Cigar, brings this George Carlin review of cigar smokers to mind: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rY1eXnbB1Mg

    • Jena-Auerstedt

      Win!

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    This does seem like a very Floridian warning:

    Please keep y’all’s peckers under control during evacuation

    • bupkus231

      You talking about roosters – or child sex offenders ( a la the story about the Polk Co. sheriff shooting his mouth off )?

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      And do not cannibalize any ones face

  • bookish

    Apps to help prepare for storm.

    http://nbcnews.to/2eSxx0z

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    I am now watching American Horror Story and it’s about the 2016 elections. Never thought they would make such an episode so quickly.

    • BEST LINE

      “You’d think CNN would have given us a Trigger Warning before announcing the results!”

      BEST IMAGE

      Chaz Bono in a MAGA hat.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        That just came by. Holy hell, It is actually really true life.

      • HooverVilles

        Picture please!

      • TundraGrifter

        What’s a “Trigger Warning?”

        “Hey – don’t step in that fresh pile of horse puckey!”

    • chazmanr

      We have been living the horror for almost a year.

      • HooverVilles

        Worst episode of The Twilight Zone” ever!

  • JoeChristmas

    Keep your Oxy powder dry.

  • puredog

    Evan — on fire, as yoozh.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    The truth? He’s made entirely of French organic peroxides, and he might catch on fire and explode let out pressurized shart or two, if his cooling systems were to shut down.

    wAKE UP SCHWEEPLES!!!1

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      His whole radio show – fuck it, his whole LIFE – is a series of pressurized sharts. Why would Friday be any different for him?

  • Persistent Demme

    Something, something, Darwin, something, something.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Oh… and… how does one evacuate an entire big state?

    • JustDon’tSayDignity

      You shout, “RUN AWAY” and in this case append, “Y’ALL!”.

    • Jim QuinnX

      Milk of magnesia.

    • “THEY’S SOME METH UP IN GEORGIA! AND FREE LAIP DAINTSES FER ANYBODY NAMED RICKY!”

      • Beanz&Berryz

        That’s just mean… Effective, but mean….

    • Walter Wellstone

      With only two highways running from North to South. Yeah, that’s Florida for ya.

    • Invisible Bunyip

      Time. The smart ones left days ago.

  • Poly_Ester

    But trump is still planning on 36 holes at Mar-a-Lago, this weekend, isn’t he?

    • differentdrummer

      Oh God I hope so!*

      (with VOTES)

    • HooverVilles

      Please, please, pretty please. Ugh, his advisers will probably stop him from that.
      Sigh!

    • If he took a shot in a 185mph wind it could be a hole in one at a golf course in South Carolina.

  • Reddishrabbit

    When he woke up this morning he found the bed to be wet. As he threw off the sheet he say it. And knew it was time to run. He was too close to the truth. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7f3e685d8ad7ec61c10b1e84313eb37526040fd7b7b5ca917029f05480666551.jpg

  • bookish

    https://www.propublica.org/article/how-the-truth-can-get-damaged-in-a-hurricane-too

    Over the last two weeks, there have also been a host of simplistic proclamations online about the role of human-driven climate change in Hurricane Irma and Hurricane Harvey, both overstating and discounting it. As Irma approaches Florida, the issues with sifting fake and real news become more consequential.

    With all that in mind, ProPublica reached out to Jane Lytvynenko, a Toronto-based journalist who’s been covering misinformation and disinformation for BuzzFeed since November and previously covered the media for Canadaland. On Wednesday, Lytvynenko posted what has become a running, and growing, list of Hurricane Irma fakery and disinformation.

    • HooverVilles

      Thanks!

  • calliecallie

    Run, Limbaugh, Run!

    • hudson

      seriously. that there is a healthy population that lingers on to this moron’s word is in and by itself a cause for concern.

      • Three Finger Salute

        “Healthy” is a subjective term in this case. The mental stability of Rash listeners leaves something to be desired.

        • hudson

          healthy as n considerable not necessarily all mental faculties firing. but i get your point.

  • bookish
    • hudson

      this is the one behind the scale busting irma, right?

      • HooverVilles

        Yep!

        • hudson

          in case irma was not destructive enough.

          • Sheepshagger

            Gotta make the rubble bounce.

            Curtis Lemay.

  • Swampgas_Man

    As a man who lived 20 years in Tornado Alley Oklahoma, I sez “Ride out the storm, you fat fuck! Maybe some Cuban immigrants can use your bloated body as a flotation device!”

  • HooverVilles

    What is that funny looking object in El Mushbos’ mouth? What could it be? Enquiring minds needs ta know?
    EDIT: I should have scrolled down. I see Beowoof14 beat me to the basic idea here.

  • Hither and Yawn

    I’ve translated “legally impossible” to mean that his lawyers told him he’d lose his ass in court if he tried to demand employees report for work on Friday. The security reasons area still a bit of a headscratcher. Is he running NORAD on the side down there?

  • Whoever had to “burrito” those roosters–I hope the stores in his town weren’t out of bactine and alcohol and bandages. I suspect roosters are none too chill about such a thing.

    • TundraGrifter

      It’s been well over twenty years, but ten bucks says I can still burrito-wrap a baby in less than a minute. Just like riding a bicycle – once you learn how…

    • ahughes798

      They’re fighting roosters. Posession of which is illegal

      • Jena-Auerstedt

        No wonder they’re so valuable.

    • Invisible Bunyip

      If you do it often enough – like every time to drive them to a fight – they get used to it. I’ve seen show cats who enjoyed a nice bath followed by a blow dry.

    • Wee Mousie

      The burrito wrappers for these roosters aren’t the real heroes, here. The real heroes are the folks who ran down and caught the roosters.

      • Theeeere they go
        to catch the roosters,
        so they ain’t gonna die!

  • WotsAllThisThen

    In the event of global warming, your ass becomes a flotation device

  • TundraGrifter

    At this stage of my life I’m pretty much a dog man, but if we ever get a cat – male or female – its name is “5.” Just sayin’.

  • FelineMama

    Ms. Karma just grabbed PUSSY Limpballs by the, the, whatever!! HAHAHA!!!
    “Security nature of things?” WTF.. Security? Like securing your FAT ass. Legalities? But, idiot, you said it’s a hoax? What changed security & legalities? Places unknown? Afraid of sumin’/someones? Media?? Oh Dickhead, you have so much hot air coming out your ass. (AND THAT’S A LOT, MY FRIENDS) There’s where your global warming/hot air gases are comin’ from Fla.

  • Walter Wellstone

    Those who decided to stay based on what this sorry excuse for human DNA said deserve their fate.

    • RMKH

      Disagree. Anyone unintelligent or deluded enough to listen to, and believe in, the Rush, obviously has some sort of pathology. They are to be pitied and don’t deserve the wrath of Gaia about to be visited upon them. If, however, a person buys into Rush’s crap out of expediency, greed, or prejudice, knowing full well what a load it is, then they deserve nothing but the finest Irma has to offer. I’m not in the habit of wishing I’ll on people, except with votes, but there’s an old saying from their Book of Bronze Age Hallucinations:. As ye sow, so shall ye reap.

      • HooverVilles

        As ye sow, so shall ye reap.

        Funny how those dyslexic doG fundies ignore certain parts of that Bronze/Iron age book.

        Ceiling Cat purrrrs.

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d6af64d6c53ad1420c0d8fd195597e65b96bff39bacc9e8431de55349277de01.jpg

        • RMKH

          The same chapter of the majik book that bids them to hate gays, also would have them remain free of all things porcine and mollusc. Yet who among them hath forsworn the sausage and the well-grilled oyster?

          He’ll, I bet they even have pigskin gloves to drive their pickemup trucks.

  • Jena-Auerstedt

    Actually, Limbaugh and Irma should get along very well, one overwhelming bag of wind to another.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Big weather? Ha! It’s Big Evangelical. They have to have something bad to blame Big Gay for.

  • Red Bird

    I liked this post simply because it has a picture of the Key West roosters being evacuated. Squeeze…..

    • Wee Mousie

      I still think they should have given the roosters their freedom and let them fly out of Key West whichever way they wanted.

      Come on! Doesn’t everybody love free chicken?

  • hudson

    needless to goes without saying floridians please to kindly take all necessary precautions. as always, better part of valour is discretion.

  • bubbuhh

    Current Missus Limbaugh Iz Sad!

    She so hoped her Ex-Hubby-To-Be would take a romantic RWNJ walk on the beach to prove Irma was a libberule conspiracy hand around his special friend, a giant fat butt plug of a cigar.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/408274299f5e62158be02de2c3795d82139795a63f2ac033873311843ffc0a43.jpg

    She’s long since given up dressing like a seegar waving cabana boy to please him. And, while she can afford to wade through the rough seas of a divorce, knowing many, many disgusting things about ole Rush as she does, she wuz kind of hopin to instantly get all of the insane amount of money Limbaugh has stashed in his underwear drawers by her giant windbag getting blown away by another.

    Would have been karmic relief!
    http://radaronline.com/celebrity-news/rush-limbaugh-kathryn-limbaugh-divorce-shocker/

  • nightmoth

    Speaking of hurricanes, they are targeting the heart of Trumpanistan. So where is Pat Robertson to tell us how God’s mad at the South over the recent election. Pat? Franklin Graham? Ya’ll hearing me on this, boys?

  • Thurman Munster IV

    Texas: We done got the biggest gol darn hurr-canez heah!

    Florida : Hold my beer

    Seriously, be safe everyone so we can still make fun of you after the storm

  • Legal reasons/lack of power for the next few weeks/tomayto/tomahto

    • HooverVilles

      And, I’m sure, a healthy dose of chicken hawk fear.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Rush Limbaugh calling someone else “fat?” That’s rich.

  • meanlawyermom

    Rooster burritos – now I’m just imagining Rush in one of those paper wrappers and you’ve just made my day, Evan. Can’t stop laughing at the image in my head.

    • TundraGrifter

      It take a copy of the Sunday New York Times to wrap him up.

      • Mavenmaven

        That’s one full edition for each leg.

    • Lambsendbeds

      There ain’t no newspaper that big. Mebbe the big roll of paper they print the news on before they slice and dice it…

  • Duke

    I haven’t heard yet so maybe someone can tell me:

    What is God angry about? And is it all of America or just Texas, Florida and a bit of Mississippi?

    • HooverVilles

      There are some people in the bibble belt doin some mighty serious praying to their vengeful dyslexic doG to smite their neighbors. They really should stop that. Oh, collateral damage, collateral smamage. /s

    • NotALiar

      Trump working with Demoncraps or whatever super clever name they call Democrats.

    • gffish

      According to assorted fundamentalist money-grubbing preachers, it’s always at least one of the following:
      1. the lack of prayer in public schools
      2. the gays
      3. not enough statues of the 10 Commandments on courthouse lawns
      4, abortion
      5. how oppressed Christians are in the U. S., even though 3/4 of all Americans identify as Christians
      6. people saying “Happy Holidays” in December
      7. the face of Ronald Reagan hasn’t been carved onto Mount Rushmore yet
      8. the Hollywood entertainment industry (you know, the one that employed such
      commie pinkos as Ronald Reagan and Donald Trump for years)
      9. Benghazi
      10. Hillary’s e-mails

  • The Librarian

    Silly, Evan. You can’t wrap a cuck like a burrito. Rush is on his own.

  • La forza del resistino

    What does a hurricane have in common with Rushbo .. caused by a lotta hot air.

    • george lastrapes

      In case you haven’t heard it—
      The difference between Limbaugh and the airship Hindenberg?
      One is a flaming Nazi gasbag, and the other is- aw, you’ve heard it.

  • Those rooskies remind me of the time I got a call from my little ol lady friend in distress, begging me, “Please can you help?!! The police just came and took my neighbor away. He might go to jail and there’ll be no one home to feed his chickens- and he really really LOVES those birds.”. Since the old lady was on oxygen and confined to bedrest I drove over to do a chicken welfare check.
    Turns out the neighbor DID go to jail….for cockfighting. Sigh.

  • bubba

    . So are Republicans OK with using socialism to clean up after Hurricanes Harvey and Irma? Or shall we let the free market take care of things? Asking for a friend…..

    • Nick

      Only in Republican controlled areas. They’ve earned it, everywhere else are just a bunch of moochers.

      • HooverVilles

        IOKiffYAR

      • handyhippie65

        strike that, and reverse it.

    • efoveks

      LOL, but still…

      un fucking believably, as I am sure you are aware, some of those heartless bastards voted against funding clean up & recovery. Also, when the disaster is in their own back yards, hypocrite Rethugs like Ted Cruz all of a sudden think we all have a moral duty of some kind to send gubmint financial assistance.

    • Wee Mousie

      Yes and no. To fix up their own back yard, yes, they will glom on to every fucking penny on offer, and a considerable lot more, For everybody else. EEK!! No! No! No! That is (feinting a faint) SOCIALISM.

  • Mecha343

    So did Rush went further north of Florida or he went to his favorite place: Dominican Republic?

    • george lastrapes

      He went to the Dominican Republic on his way to Viagra Falls.

  • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

    How the fuck do you get a rooster to hold still long enough to wrap it in newspaper? Do the make St Joseph Chewable Valium for Poultry?

    • Lambsendbeds

      Disguise yourself as a sexxxy hen doing a fan dance, and grab him while he’s not paying attention?

      • handyhippie65

        it worked on foghorn leghorn.

    • the cock whisperer…

    • Wee Mousie

      Grab the cock by the neck. Hold his head down on the ground. With a piece of chalk mark a straight line leading forward from the point of his beak. This will usually give you enough time to prepare and administer the burrito.

      • Regret

        How many hands do you have?!
        Hand one is holding the cock.
        Hand two is making the chalk mark.

  • Limbaugh: “So when they say ‘hurricane category 4, maximum sustained winds 155 miles,’ there is a place where that is happening, but it’s not very large.”

    That’s true. The strongest winds are only in the eyewall, which is only a couple of miles thick and, for Irma, about 30 miles across. So it’s only about 20 square miles.

    However, the eye is moving. The eyewall moves across a given point, knocking down everything that’s there, and then moves on, leaving that point inside the eye. An hour or so later, the other side of the eyewall moves across that point, blasting everything in the other direction. If Irma moves up the entire length of Florida, it will scour 12,000 square miles of the state with 155 mph winds; that’s 20% of the entire state. And believe me, the rest of it isn’t going to be in very good shape either.

    Rush isn’t very bright, is he?

    • Lefty Wright

      He’s a lot brighter than the people that listen to his crap. At one time, he probably knew everything he said was bullshit, just like Trump. But after years and years of people kissing his ass, he probably believes most of his bullshit. But he still knows how to present it to suckers as fact. Hey, he even convinces himself. So yeah, he is delusional, but that does not make him stupid. Just ignorant.

      • Not Flat – ROUND!

        Delusional + ignorant = stupid

      • but that does not make him stupid.

        Well, in this case he was unable to construct a logical argument that made sense, which makes him stupid in my book. However, I see your point; it’s entirely possible he didn’t even try to do so, because he realized it wouldn’t matter to his listeners. I don’t think it’s inappropriate to call him stupid when he says stupid things; his listeners will understand that he’s being insulted, and possibly briefly consider the possibility that it’s true.

    • Wee Mousie

      Somewhere, deep within that bloated, hateful, hate-filled body there is a sick, twisted, caricature of a man stuffing both hands into his mouth to prevent himself from having a ‘Lonesome’ Rhodes moment when a mike is open, a tape is rolling or a camera is recording. Rush has been spewing hate for over thirty years. He’s been soaking in it for decades. And the only “good” thing you can say about him is that he has always stayed in character. No wonder he needs so much Oxycontin to numb the psychic pain of being Rush Limbaugh,

      Christ, I’d reel sorry for the poor, dumb bastard, if he weren’t so fucking repulsive.

  • BJW

    “This just goes to show that even patriotic conservatives like Rush Limbaugh aren’t safe from George Soros Susan Rice unmasking Vince Foster globalists Bilderberg fake news greedy “scientists” with their so-called “science” Benghazi CONSPIRACY!!!!!!11!”

    Thank you for this sentence, Evan. I laughed so hard I had to cover my mouth so I didn’t interrupt my DH watching TV.

  • HooverVilles

    Big brave manly man El Mushbo running away from a hoax.
    Weak! SAD! Scaredy cat. What a maroon!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f0595853eb124905cbd0c811176412e5057bce16a344ffa7ddc87b85fc23545a.jpg

  • Wee Mousie

    If they had to wrap Rush Limpdick up like a burrito, there’s a two mast sail boat somewhere near Palm Beach missing it’s mainsail.

    Not only, but also, too, I could clearly see four cockerels in the cardboard box in the footwell of that hurricane escape vehicle. Four cockerel in one box is not only some kind of record, but it is also the definition of a gangbang.

    • handyhippie65

      four in one box sounds a bit excessive and uncomfortable.

  • AKA cockorrito.

    • Kooolest G

      just like motley crue!!!!!

      “We were always f**king other chicks at the studio and backstage… We would take Tommy’s (Lee) van to a restaurant called Noggles to buy these egg burritos and then rub them on our crotches to cover the smell of the girls we had just f**ked.

      “So our d**ks smelled of eggs… We would tell our girlfriends, ‘Oh, we dropped the burritos in our laps.’ The girlfriends thought we were a bunch of clumsy slobs.

      “We never thought about going into the restroom and just washing our d**ks.”

      if you haven’t read “the dirt” (their tell all book about themselves) you totally should. it’s amazing

  • phoenix00

    … but I want my chicken in a REAL burrito! Into MY evacuation vehicle aka my mouth.

    • Jo Mathie

      There was a big fire in the house next door that looked like it might spread to ours. I ended up standing in the road with two cats in a cat carrier and three chickens in pillowcases. Apollo the Rooster was in an ancient My Little Pony one which might have been a bit offensive to his masculinity…

      • phoenix00

        Better than roast chicken, I’m sure.

  • blaid droog

    I’m looking forward to next week when the beaches are covered in various forms of seaweed and jellyfish and the fuckin turistas are whining about how ugly and nasty the beaches are. I hope thousands of fools try to pick up some man-o-wars and jellyfish and get their pasty white asses stung so badly they need to go to hospitals and sit in emergency rooms for hours while others with real emergencies get treated while the whining turistas suffer.

    • The Flaming Carrot

      As a onetime failed marine biologist, I share your Schadenfreude.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    Rush is a big fat lying cuck

  • Lyly Sirivong

    Hoax ? Tell that to the people who lost their homes or even loved ones in the hurricane.

    • CafeenMan

      Those were Crisis-Actor Homes that go around the country pretending to be destroyed for the media.

      • Lyly Sirivong

        Alex Jones, get out of that body !

  • I’m only little so hth am I supposed to put ‘

    safe from George Soros Susan Rice
    unmasking Vince Foster globalists Bilderberg fake news greedy
    “scientists” with their so-called “science” Benghazi CONSPIRACY!!!!!!11!’
    on a tee shirt???

    • The Flaming Carrot

      Write it on the back, too.

  • AngelaHMejia

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  • William

    Bought to you by the same drug soaked simpleton who said oil spills were “natural”. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/82c2af29dd6b537bdf3091e352d643f0d7ac9605977cb194eca1be3cb720e30d.jpg

    • HooverVilles

      Fires on an oil rig are “natural” but hurricane paths are a hoax.
      Up is down, left is right, North is South.
      OMdoG, the people who “follow” these GOTP grifters are stupid and/or willingly ignorant.

    • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

      I wanna make him eat a knuckle sammich, because that is one hell of a punchable face.

  • nightmoth

    Glad that Al Roker, from the Today Show, called him out on this.

  • Poly_Ester

    Image a theater on fire and there is Rush shouting “Remain Seated” as he gets up and leaves.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Big mouth no balls.
    Big gut no heart.
    Big talk no walk.

  • toughsister

    This yuuuuge cigar in his mouth can mean only one thing.

    • sheepcreeper

      Why are you worried about a cigar when a cat 6 storm will destroy life as we know it from Florida to Virginia according to CNN and Fox news?

      • Mike Steele

        What you and Rush don’t get is that ‘life as you know it’ is a double-wide that can’t handle 100 mph winds. Never got it, never will, but danged if you didn’t get their opioid-addled votes.

  • sheepcreeper

    Dear sheep. He never said the hurricane was a hoax, but a overblown big business conspiracy hyping this storm to sell their goods. If you watched the metrologist guarante Savanna will be 10 feet under water , then commercials about how epic x brand batteries are for a disaster ect. Then you understand the context. How’s that total distruction of Savannah look now after people cleaned out stores for batteries and water ect?

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Yawwwwwwwwwwwwn.

    • The Flaming Carrot

      He wasn’t in Savannah, you illiterate numpty. He was in West Palm Beach.

    • kloewent

      Video of downtown SavannaH under water 30 min ago. Even from fox channel so you can believe it.
      http://www.foxcarolina.com/clip/13697426/water-surges-over-seawall-floods-downtown-savannah

      • sheepcreeper

        Yup. But fear monger media guaranteed ALL of Savannah , including the dome would be 10 foot under a few days ago.

  • r m reddicks

    Is limp balls still a thing? Even to lonely old rightists? I thought he died years ago.

  • Delu

    I asked a while back if Rush Limbaugh was willing to remain in the “projected path” of Hurricane Irma since he claimed that those early warnings and projections are some sort of “Liberal Conspiracy” to deflect from the issue of Al Gore being fat.

    Or something.

    I think I have my answer now. Not like I didn’t have it before I even asked the question but having Rush himself confirm it should mean SOMETHING.

    Right? Or perhaps THAT’S the conspiracy?

    • The Flaming Carrot

      When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled.
      Yes, brave Sir Limbaugh turned about and gallantly he chickened out.
      Bravely taking to his feet, he beat a very brave retreat,
      Bravest of the brave, Sir Limbaugh!

  • JohnW

    But isn’t his show all about telling people to buy gold, i.e. a grand conspiracy to get his flock to put all of their monie$$ into gold that he sells? I think I’d rather believe even Faux “news” in this instance than this “man”

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