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Probably what this dude's cakes look like.
Probably what this dude’s cakes look like.

Hooray for people who thought “BUT HER EMAILS!” was a good reason not to vote for Hillary Clinton! Donald Trump’s Justice Department has weighed in on a very important case at the Supreme Court, where a bigot cake baker from Colorado is fighting for his God-given right to say “NO CAKES FOR FAGS,” even though such discrimination is illegal under Colorado law. Surprise, the Trump administration is on the side of the bigot cake baker, and not on the side of anti-discrimination laws, because #TrumpsAmerica and also #FuckYou.

Jack Phillips, who owns the Masterpiece Cakeshop in Lakewood, Colorado, has had his ass handed to him by courts several times. The Colorado Court of Appeals ruled that he can’t refuse to make cakes for same-sex weddings because he’s worried Jesus will send him to hell, because discriminating against the act of a same-sex wedding is tantamount to discriminating against gay and lesbian people. The Colorado Supreme Court simply told Phillips to go suck on a cake froster and refused to hear his case entirely.

But now it’s at SCOTUS! This could end badly … or it could end goodly. We just don’t know.

The amicus brief filed by Justice is kinda weird, though. It’s not about how religious people definitely should be able to discriminate against anybody they want, even in public accommodations where they’re providing goods and services. Hate groups like the Family Research Council would love that, but it’s simply not there, as Ian Millhiser points out at Think Progress. It actually acknowledges civil rights laws a whole bunch, and then proceeds to argue that this is different, because if ludicrously conservative Christian cake bigots are forced to squeeze out “BRUCE ‘N’ TED 4 EVAH!” on top of cakes, that violates their FREEDOM OF SPEECH, and even more than that, violates their cake bigot ARTISTIC INTEGRI-TAH!

Really. These are bigoted cake ARTISTS we are dealing with, and when their Cake Muses visit them, they feel much like Beethoven did when he composed the “Waldstein” Sonata, or when Michelangelo was working to get David’s ball sack JUST RIGHT. It is a spiritual experience, is our point.

The brief argues that Phillips, if he makes the gay cake, is essentially saying, “I artistically declare that two dudes pledging boners to each other is awesome!” Let’s look at a couple excerpts:

If old Jack makes that cake, you might as well force him to wear a sign that says “Blessed are the Buttfuckers,” and we all know that is not one of the Beatitudes.

AND A CAKEY BAKEY FOR JESUS CANNOT BE FORCED TO FROST.

Also, there is a slippery slope here, because if bigot bakers have to do the precise interpretive dance of baking for gross homosexuals, it’s only a matter of time before people are forced to make business cards for Westboro Baptist Church and Nazis:

There is an interesting question at hand here, about where the line is between “creative expression” and simple goods and services. Millhiser at Think Progress flags a section of the brief where Justice admits that “whether governmental compulsion creates an association with an unwanted message depends on a reasonable observer’s perception of the relevant expression.”

As an example, the brief distinguishes between a hotel providing tables and chairs for a wedding (not “expressive”) and a wedding singer warbling out a love song for the couple (supposedly “expressive”). The Justice Department says the musician is communicating that she is OK with the wedding, by virtue of singing the song.

We have a bone to pick with this, because CLEARLY The Justice Department has never provided music for a wedding. BUT YR WONKETTE HAS!

If you didn’t know, yr Wonkette is a classical pianist and a singer and a songwriter and we have played MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY FUCKING WEDDINGS in our life, many for conservative opposite hoo-hoo couples. Singing or playing whatever bullshit they request — and they usually pick overdone crap literally nobody wants to hear, unless you get a cool couple (which is rare), so mostly the only thing that gets you through the experience is the $$$ you agreed on beforehand — has NEVER EVER EVER felt for one fucking iota of a second like “artistic expression.” And we are a really fabulous pianist. (And obviously not shy about that fact.)

So fuck off, Justice Department. Come back after the thousandth time you’ve been asked to play “Piano Man” for a drunk idiot and tell us WHAT IS ART.

Millhiser gets into the meat of why trying to draw this imaginary line between #Art and #NotArt is difficult, using an example about meat:

Consider, for example, Katzenbach v. McClung, a seminal case establishing that the federal ban on whites-only lunch counters is constitutional. McClung involved Ollie’s Barbecue, an Alabama establishment that refused to serve African Americans in its dining rooms.

As nearly anyone from the South will tell you, producing barbecue can be a deeply expressive activity.  […] Chefs may spend years developing their technique and experimenting with different kinds of sauces and cooking styles. A barbecue shack in rural Arkansas won a James Beard Award, roughly the equivalent of the Oscars for chefs.

So if a barbecue chef designs a custom menu for a private wedding, is that an expressive activity worthy of First Amendment protection?

Millhiser also addresses the definition of “participation in an expressive event,” noting that in the Jim Crow South, it would probably have been considered far more EXPRESSIVE if Ollie’s Barbecue had served blacks and whites equally, compared to what jackass before the Supreme Court is being asked to do, which is making sugar squiggles for weddings he’s not invited to.

As we said, it’s a weird brief. We just hope Anthony Kennedy reads it for the bullshit it is.

In conclusion, fuck the Trump Justice Department, and thanks once again to all the voters who stayed home, voted third party or protest voted for Trump. You really done made your point.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Wonkette salaries are fully paid by lovely souls like you! If you love us, click below to make sure we get paid!

[Think Progress / Justice’s dumb brief]

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  • Msgr_MΩment

    The gheys? Let them eat cake.
    NO, SERIOUSLY. Give them their fucking cake.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Yah, but “Bruce ‘n’ Ted 4 EVAH?” Sure, that wedding is going to last about as long as the champagne holds out. Everyone knows Ted is a total slut.

  • Vincent Ricola

    I want a sign that says “Blessed are the Buttfuckers” for my front yard.

    • therblig

      fondant or buttercream (giggity)?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “…For they need no slut pills.”

  • ManchuCandidate

    Those assholes really want to have their bigoted asshole cake and eat it (metaphorically but more than secretly orally) too.

  • chazmanr

    I am now officially an Information Technology artist and my religion has no tolerance for those who lie about clearing their browsing history. I hereby refuse to assist them on religious and artistic grounds!

  • DerrickWildcat

    Jesus was born in the year 0. Which is when time started.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    One problem with the baker’s claim that he is engaged in first amendment artistic expression is on his web site: “If you can think it up, Jack can make it into a cake!” The customer provides the creativity, Jack is merely a craftsman who constructs the cake.

    • therblig

      everybody loves a little jack in their cake. sounds gheyish to me.

    • EvanHurst

      Exactly! The Cake Muses NO NOT VISIT HIM when he is making wedding cakes. He is a mere CAKE CARPENTER.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Yeah, it’s baking and frosting a cake. Not building Angkor Wat FFS.

    • eggs ackly-wright

      An unworthy vessel.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    When Phillips designs and creates a custom wedding cake for a specific couple and a specific wedding, he plays an active role in enabling that ritual, and he associates himself with the celebratory message conveyed.

    You know, nobody remembers who was the foley artist for the Beans scene in Blazing Saddles, and I sure as hell don’t recall where we got our goddamned wedding cake twenty-eight years ago. Get the fuck over yourself, Phillips.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Right? You are one of several vendors providing a service for Our Special Day. I don’t really care what you get out of it.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Our cake was baked 60 years ago. I’m betting that the baker has gone to that Great Bakery in the Sky. But if he is still alive and discovers that he baked a cake for an atheist I’m sure he’ll find me and want it back.

  • memzilla Ω
  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    Didn’t gullible conservatives already pay for the retirement of these guys through Go Fund Me?

    • PubOption

      I thought that that case was in Indiana.

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        Jesus, how many bigoted cake makers are there???

  • Jenny

    Shouldn’t the bigot cakery car on the wingnut welfare train be full by now? I imagine it is standing room only.

  • Scooby

    Wagner wore gloves whenever he conducted a piece by Mendelssohn or Meyerbeer because he didn’t want to touch Jewish music.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      As though either Mendelssohn or Meyerbeer handled that particular paper score. You’d think a solid anti-semite wouldn’t agree to conduct pieces written by Jews. Which is stupid, because that is some damn fine music!

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    I did not know you are a classical pianist Evan. Another talent for me to envy.

  • OutOfOrbit

    Fuck the law I AM THE LAW!

    –munchkin idjit sessions

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Mnuchin DJT?

  • BloviateMe
    • DerrickWildcat

      That’s what our Driver’s Licence scanner does.

      • therblig

        well, in my experience, most drivers are

    • gallbladder

      I cun’t stop laughing.

    • therblig

      i hope his last name isn’t FLick

    • Creepoman

      Or just go ahead and name them “Cunt”

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “As a person of elfin persuasion, I appreciate the artistry of baking, at least in the context of hollow trees.”
    — Jeff Sessions

    • Jeffery Campbell

      KEEBLER LIBELZ!11!!!!111!!

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Look, you can call yourself a “cake artist”. You can call yourself a purple-spotted narwhal for all I care. But when you get a license from the state to provide goods and services in exchange for money, and when you let the customer dictate the terms, you don’t get to claim “but but muh freedom of expresshun”.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      That’s a good way to approach this, legally.

      Now, if he were creating cake masterpieces of purely his own designs, purely on spec, not accepting input from anyone straight, gay or indifferent, and trying to sell the results after the fact, then he could claim the level of self-immersion and artistry he’s claiming. Otherwise he’s a technician, at best.

      BTW, I’d like a Nothingburger Deluxe, with bacon, secret sauce on the side and a large curly fires, please.

  • DerrickWildcat

    I can make a cake in a coffee cup in a microwave. Don’t need no Gordon Ramsey.

  • Wolf Tracker

    Once you get a business license you agree to follow Fed and state laws that regulate a business.

    Don’t like that- don’t start a public service business.

    If he claims he is an artist then he could limit his sales to private contracts and avoid the discrimination laws but he runs a public accommodation business selling cakes to anyone that walks in the door.

    That is what SCOTUS is likely to tell him.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Outside a church here in Hartford… “There’s a seat for everyone at God’s table” https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/84c7108fdaa8fcbe573654d18d0a841996b92ebf679c69cd18e5e17cef287496.jpg

    • Wolf Tracker

      I like that!

    • P’jama Pahnts

      Except, of course, left-handers

      • Jeff Ackerman

        Us lefties follow the left hand path is why

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        Left-handers have to sit on the end, to avoid intolerable elbow bumping.

      • Wolf Tracker

        Didn’t you see the wheelchair?

        Just kidding!

      • PubOption

        What do they think about left-footers?

        • Persistent Tennessee Rain

          That’s really a thing. I’m right handed, but I was a left footed gymnast

      • chimichanga

        They’re so sinister (sinistrae?)

        • AngelaHMejia

          my friend’s sister makes $81 every hour on the computer . She has been without work for 7 months but last month her payment was $21281 just working on the computer for a few hours. visit this website

          http://www.jobstodayproductsplay

          ✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿::::da251….

      • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

        Lefties sit on the left side of the table. Duh!

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        …and redheads.

    • arglebargle

      Why they gotta lock up the chairs? And who stole the table?

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        Chairs are locked in case of wind.
        The table was stolen by a “Christian” baker.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Goddam Unitarians : /

    • Persistent Demme

      If i had a bakery, I would SO put a rainbow in my window!

    • Blackest Noobs

      sadly they had to chain the chairs because if it can be stolen, it will be stolen.

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        Stolen by some “Christian” baker. Those guys have no scruples.

        (OK, actually I think they tied them together mostly to keep the wheelchair from rolling away into the trunk of someone’s car.)

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Why are they all chained together? Does God have some sort of trust issue?

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Exactly one doll in a tuxedo per cake. Anything less would compromise my unique artistic vision.”

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Cake bakers being declared artists would be just one more reason to hate the Wedding Industrial Complex.

    • mailman27

      Anthony Kennedy’s in the pocket of Big Flour.

  • msanthropesmr

    Sing us a song, you’re the piana man

  • gallbladder

    Who Wouldn’t Jesus Bake For?

    • msanthropesmr

      The money changers.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Baked Jesus would probably just cook like a grill cheese or something then spread it around to EVERYONE. Wait, you said Baker Jesus.

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste
    • msanthropesmr

      Yeah, but that ain’t Barbeque. Gotta go to Texas for that.

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        Apostate.

        • msanthropesmr

          Watch me nail my 95 thesis of BBQ to Arthur Bryant’s door.

          • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

            95 Feces you said?

          • PubOption

            You protest too much.

          • Dudleydidwrong

            Pal, there ain’t no bar-be-que in Wittenburg, Germany. Hell, we’re arguing over whether or not there’s any in Memphis!

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Kids, don’t fight. I mean, at least we all agree that a hot dog is a sandwich, right? :)

          • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

            It is an abomination before the Lord.*

            *Unless you are at a baseball park and there is nothing else to eat but crickets and mice.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          What about a prostate?

          • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

            I am firmly for prostates’ rights.

      • grindstone

        Bite me..
        — Memphis
        — North Carolina

        • msanthropesmr

          Hah. Pork aint BBQ

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            Blasphemer!

          • msanthropesmr

            No blasphemer. You’re the blasphemer.

          • P’jama Pahnts

            Pork + Smoke = BBQ. Only pork

          • mailman27

            Too true.

          • grindstone

            I’ll pray for you.

        • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

          Begun, the BBQ Wars have.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            BBQ Purity Ponies agree…horse meat is right out.

      • OutOfOrbit

        Huh?! Washington Irving wrote of barbecue in 1825,,,in Floriduh prepared by the Seminoles..

        • msanthropesmr

          He was wrong.

        • SayItWithWookies

          Wasn’t barbacoa made by the Taino, and the root of the original barbecue?

          • OutOfOrbit

            i am out of my depth here. was of the mind that bbq was a pork in texass thing & just a few days ago, puroosing “The Crayon Papers” by Irving …now imagine my unutterable astonishment when — well, you can not imagine it!

            OOO is still not recovered from the shock

      • Panika MCD

        I know: what is this sauce garbage?

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        Pffft! Arkansas! Texas is the yankee state of the south.

    • Panika MCD

      but it requires sauce?

  • Nounverb911
    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      So much for “courage of his convictions”.

    • Wolf Tracker

      I am thinking that “legally impossible” means the FCC hit him with a fine and temporary shutdown for public endangerment.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      A massive hurricane is a small price to pay to shut Limbaugh’s pie hole

      https://wonkette.com/622570/rush-limbaugh-knows-hurricane-irma-is-conspiracy-to-hide-how-al-gore-is-very-fat

    • SayItWithWookies

      “Legally impossible” — because Irma’s gonna throw the goddamn book at him.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      “Current location” = up his fat ass, along with his head.

  • Zombishroom

    I cannot control the urge to say ‘Evan Hurst: pianist’ out loud.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      I can and good for him. Like Evan, I played at probably thousands of straight weddings and each and everyone makes a root canal seem like a stroll down the Champs Elysee. If it weren’t for the fact that brides are ripe for overcharging, I never would have done it. See? I’m perfectly willing to make money off the straighties, why would they not do us the same solid?

      • Zombishroom

        I know, right? I bet their morals are flexible depending upon the paycheck.

  • TJ Barke

    You’re supposed to treat guests and strangers as though you’re entertaining angels, fucknuts!

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Baucis and Philemon would never get that wrong.

    • Panika MCD

      how does one fuck nuts?

      • mancityRed6

        it starts with alcohol and ends in remorse and shame.
        I blacked out during the middle bit.

        • Historicat

          But the remorse and shame will be with you forever!

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Those angels can party! Did you read about those angel dudes visiting Gomorrah? Holy shit…wait…

  • SweetDeeKat

    “Blessed are the buttfuckers” could be a beatitude. Has rhythm..

    • therblig

      Sermon on the Mounted

      • Rasilom

        Seman on the mounted. I’ll show my self out now.

  • Joy

    I just got into a comment argument over at American Sphincter… it was fun, but they’re obsessed with getting a ham sammich from a Muslim.

    • Wolf Tracker

      Hey those AT people are obsessed. You want to hit and run.

    • fawkedifiknow

      Tell that dumb son-of-a-bitch that he might have an argument if the Muslim chef makes ham sandwiches for a living and sells them to everyone but gay customers. I highly doubt that is the case.

      • Joy

        Many times this point I made… many times. 😩

    • Covfefe

      Sorry, not on the menu. By the way, NO SUBSTITiONS.

  • SomeBigRedDog

    Great. Now I’m hungry for cake.

  • La forza del resistino

    Is my mechanic, Mr. Gauguin, now gonna ask me if I have a girl friend before working on my Subaru?

    • therblig

      it’ll be ok as long as you’re not missing the “c” on your Legacy nameplate

    • Gayer Than Thou

      If you have a Subaru, he already knows if you have a girlfriend.

      • Rags

        ‘If you have a Subaru, he already knows you had a girlfriend.’ FIFY

        • Arolpin

          Unless it’s a WRX STi and you have a flat-billed cap, in which case he, and everyone else, knows that you will NEVER have a girlfriend, unless she lives in Canada and is a supermodel, for real!

  • Panika MCD

    dear Trump Bigot Department,

    as a poet, I do not advertise that I will write poems for weddings because that is not something I want to do very much. but if I were to advertise such a service for a commission, I would be required to take all customers–no matter my moral stance on how Ken and Barbie are bigoted assholes that I don’t want to celebrate the legal joining of.

    that’s what happens when you advertise and take a commission for your work: you are now providing a good or service. you don’t get to choose your customers like you do when you are submitting to lit mags.

    thank you for your concern,
    poetry person

  • Internet Hitler

    This is sticky. All for the gay rights. But opposed to guvmint telling me I would have to bake a wedding cake celebrating the anniversary of the KKK (or Klaniversary), even if I was asked by a gay Klansman married couple.

    The practical choice is simple: either clam up and take the money, or just say “sorry, too busy.” Is the real offense here that a cake is baked into a federal case?

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Klanspeople are not protected under applicable anti-discrimination laws, so there’s that. But there is a difference between refusing to create particular artwork on a cake and refusing to create any kind of cake at all for particular kinds of people.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        The hard question, not that anyone asked, is: what if a baker said “We’ll totally bake your cake just as you like it and we won’t even spit in it, but we won’t sell you the two little men. You’ll have to buy those yourself and put them on yourself” – acceptable? I tend to feel like it wouldn’t be acceptable – it would basically be a form of separate but equal – but I have a hard time articulating the relevant principle.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Being a Klansman is not a protected klass.

      • Rags

        Sadly, outside of a few states, neither is LGBTQ

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I know. And that is wrong, wrong, wrong.

  • jesterpunk

    Funny how conservatives are all concerned with what the artist wants now and not when they pick songs for their rallies and events.

  • arglebargle

    He does not create the cakes we like.

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    If I was gay, I wouldn’t want someone to bake my wedding cake if they were a big, fat raging bigot, so I’m okay with these assholes refusing service. However, I think these businesses should have to have to post in their window and on their website and on their business cards stating, “No Homos” – and see how their business does.

    On edit: Even though I’m not gay, I wouldn’t want some big, fat raging bigot to bake any kind of cake for me. They can all go kick rocks.

    • theblackdog

      Dad, is that you?

    • jesterpunk

      If they want to discriminate then setup a church, if they want to have a public business they have to serve anyone.

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        I understand that completely, but do you want to give your money to someone like that? I’d personally want to take my business elsewhere.

        • jesterpunk

          What about smaller towns where there isnt another choice close by?

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            Excellent point. Again, for me, personally, I wouldn’t want to give my money to someone like that. Until very recently, where I lived, there was only one little market that sold beer. I would go there from time to time because it’s close. During election season, the lit up sign that usually advertises specials had huge scrolling letters spelling T-R-U-M-P. I’m glad they did that because now I know to take my business elsewhere. I haven’t been back since.

            Also too, on another note, is it okay for the management of a gay bar to ask straight patrons to leave if they believe the patron is there to mock or gawk?

            And, was it okay for a supermarket bakery in New Jersey to refuse to bake a cake for little “Adolph Hitler Campbell” complete with swastika?

          • jesterpunk

            For the last one being a NAZI is something you can choose to be. So yeah that is ok. But what about Doctors or hospitals? Can they decide the gays are icky and their sincerely held religious beliefs allow them to let them die? The lawsuit isnt just about cakes its what types of people you can deny service to based on some belief you claim to have.

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            Patient care laws protect people from discrimination.

          • Shanzgood

            Not at Catholic hospitals.

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            I don’t see that so much as discrimination as it is a refusal to provide certain services at all which is incredibly dangerous and make me stabby, but yes, I see your point. It’s easy for me to forget because I have choices and I live in a progressive area.

          • Shanzgood

            But those “certain services” almost always ONLY affect women’s health outcomes, so that’s why I see them as discrimination. As a woman with a daughter, I was furious when my employer changed our insurance plan to a Catholic network. Thankfully, they switched it after only a year.

        • Rags

          People who are brave enough to stand up to bigots are awesome. To slink away is kinda ‘back of the bus’ thinking, but I know that only a few are strong enough to fight.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      The problem is this: if one baker can refuse to bake gay cakes on religious grounds, then all of them can. For those seeking to be gay-married in a small towns, it may be impossible to get any cake at all. And if bakeries can refuse to provide services to gay people on religious grounds, so can other service provides – so can all of them, and you can see where that will leave gay people who need their tires changed or their corns burned off or their wills written. And, though some gay people live in communities in which a “No Homos” sign would attract a lot of negative attention, most gay people still live in communities where such a sign would be embraced.

      • BosGrl

        And it’s a slippery slope to “I won’t bake cakes for anyone who isn’t straight, white and Christian.”

        • Rags

          ‘I won’t arrange flowers …..’
          ‘I won’t print invitations…..’
          ‘I wont rent you two tuxes….’
          ‘I won’t let you stay in my B&B….’
          ‘I won’t let you live in my town….’

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        I’m firmly on the fence regarding this issue.

      • Covfefe

        Under your reasoning, doctors who provide abortions would be socially ostracized and hospitals, to avoid the controversy, would deny them admitting privileges. Since that has never happened in the USAmerica, I reject your argument.

  • Covfefe

    Seems to me, you have to be from Dixie to think that cooking barbecue is an art form.

  • Rasilom

    I’m just spit ballin here, but….. Wouldn’t baking the cake for someone that has different beliefs than you actually be seen as an act of compassion in the eyes of a truly omnipresent and omnipotent God? Oh wait we are talking about fundi Jebus. Yeah fuck that guy

    • Covfefe

      One of the functions of religion is to separate good from evil. In the light most favorable to good people, refusing to bake cakes for evil people is a form of witnessing, which is an important component of evangelical sects.

      • Rasilom

        Like I said. Fuck that fundi Jebus. He seems like a real douche bag.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        I thinks one of our human functions is to separate the delightful from the tedious. I’ll let you guess where you fall.

      • aureolaborealis

        Yes, but only certain kinds of ‘evil’ people.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      “And when the robbed and beaten man looked up and saw the smiling face of the Good Samaritan, the beaten man said unto him, “I’m not making you a cake, asshole!”
      –Two Corinthians:12:23

  • SomeBigRedDog

    If he’s an artist shouldn’t his cakes be in a fucking gallery somewhere?

    • Dudleydidwrong

      If he’s an artist that cake belongs behind glass, surrounded by a frame, and stuck on a wall between the Rembrandt and the Chagall. Otherwise he should bake it, get paid, and shut the fuck up.

  • Anna Rompage

    A cake maker should not be forced to to make a giant penis shaped wedding cake that has a marshmallow cream fountain coming out of the tip of the head, unless of course they are up for the challenge.

    They should however be required to make a cake that is on par with any cake they might make for anyone else’s wedding, straight, gay, bi, trans, hermaphrodite or not…

    • SweetDeeKat

      It would need the special Wilton Giant Penis pan, which ain’t cheap.

    • jesterpunk

      There is a bakery outside of Philly that specializes in those kinds of cakes, its in the back room though to avoid offending religious people.

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        Who doesn’t love a good dick cake?

        • Gayer Than Thou

          Dick and cake – two great tastes that taste great together!

          • Shanzgood

            I bet the super-secret chemists who work for McDonals’s to put all the flavor back into their hideously over processed food could make a cake that tastes just like dick.

          • Gayer Than Thou

            Tastes like the sea!

          • Shanzgood

            Unfortunately, still gives you a sore throat.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Several years back, I stopped at the McDonald’s drive-thru for a sandwich when I was eating on the run. I suddenly realized that the only thing on the sandwich I could taste were the condiments. The bun and meat were simply texture.

            I stopped going there.

      • eggs ackly-wright

        Come all ye faithful…

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I agree, but if you happen to have the name of a good giant penis baker, let me know.

      • NastyBossetti

        One of my sisters has a cock and balls baking pan somewhere. Not sure which sister, though. It gets passed around a lot. There are MANY occasions that call for that kind of cake, as it turns out.

        • Covfefe

          When my daughter was 9, she took an art class at a major research university. When she went to the bathroom, she saw dirty pictures of men’s private parts drawn on the walls of the stalls. Even though this was th arts building, she was shocked. I had to assure her there were no such drawings on the walls of the stalls in the boys rooms.

          • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

            When I was 9 or so, I came out of the men’s room of a swanky restaurant to ask my mom out loud, “what does f u c k spell?”

            She told me it was a bad word men use.

          • Jeffery Campbell

            Oh, a “major research university.” That’s a very enlightening tidbit you got there.

      • Spurning Beer

        Try The Muffin Man. I think it’s on Drury Lane.

      • Anna Rompage

        We used to make penis shaped dinner rolls at a retreat center I worked at, when we hosted the Radical Faeries…

        They were the best group ever

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        Dick Bigly
        Bigly Cakes We Like
        Peniscola, FL

        • Gayer Than Thou

          I tried PenisCola – too salty for my tastes! Which is ironic, when you think about it…

  • btwbfdimho
    • jesterpunk

      If you do that you give up the right to sue too.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Now you tell me…

        • dlemex

          NY AG is saying that it is unenforceable and demanding that they change the site.

          • Shanzgood

            Good.

        • jesterpunk

          https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2017/09/are-you-an-equifax-breach-victim-you-must-give-up-right-to-sue-to-find-out/

          But if you want to find out if your data might have been exposed, you waive your right to sue the Atlanta-based company. We’re not making this up. The company has now published a website allowing consumers to input their last six digits of their Social Security numbers to find out.

          Like most websites, at the bottom of this new site is a section called “Terms of Use.” There, in paragraph 4, is bolded, uppercase text of note. It tells site visitors that you agree to waive your right to sue and instead must “resolve all disputes by binding, individual arbitration.”

          AGREEMENT TO RESOLVE ALL DISPUTES BY BINDING INDIVIDUAL ARBITRATION. PLEASE READ THIS ENTIRE SECTION CAREFULLY BECAUSE IT AFFECTS YOUR LEGAL RIGHTS BY REQUIRING ARBITRATION OF DISPUTES (EXCEPT AS SET FORTH BELOW) AND A WAIVER OF THE ABILITY TO BRING OR PARTICIPATE IN A CLASS ACTION, CLASS ARBITRATION, OR OTHER REPRESENTATIVE ACTION. ARBITRATION PROVIDES A QUICK AND COST EFFECTIVE MECHANISM FOR RESOLVING DISPUTES, BUT YOU SHOULD BE AWARE THAT IT ALSO LIMITS YOUR RIGHTS TO DISCOVERY AND APPEAL.

          • dlemex

            I didn’t realize this second company was in Atlanta. That could not be an accident especially with the NY AG all hot and bothered.

          • jesterpunk

            It affects a lot of people in NY state (and every other state) which may be why he is involved.

      • Shanzgood

        I think someone here posted last night or this morning thatvtgeres a way to check without signing up for their services, which I think also solves the problem of giving up the right to sue.

    • Wolf Tracker

      Equifux has full access to everyone’s credit info even if you have never dealt with them personally so I would be changing passwords to accounts and watching all your accounts for activity for awhile.

      • dlemex

        And the social engineered hacks are endless. “Hi this is bank X, your account ##### has an issue which we can resolve over the phone,,,”

        • Wolf Tracker

          It is going to be a serious mess.

          Have they identified the hackers country of origin yet?

          • dlemex

            If it is like the other hacks, the data will get sold to many organizations until they milked it dry. So don’t expect just one.

          • Wolf Tracker

            Probably already being sold on the deep web. Just wondering if this a Russian job and paybacks for sanctions.

          • dlemex

            Problem is the execs have known for a month. And sold their options, They know what a cluster###k this will be. So that data has already been around for a while.

          • Wolf Tracker

            They will get hit by the FTC but that doesn’t help people that will be hit a year from now.

        • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

          Never give info to someone who called you. Call the bank yourself on a number you get independently.

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        I use a wallet application which lets me have different, computer-generated passwords for every site. Sometimes I also use a computer-generated user name. I also never answer security questions honestly; after all, someone could figure out my mother’s maiden name.

        • Wolf Tracker

          I change mine at least once a year but I cut up all CC and have no loans and self employed so not too worried but alot of people will get hit when that info gets out.

    • Jenny

      My data was compromised. But this is only the 6th time in two years. I have credit monitoring from the other breaches. Leaves me plenty of room to class action the fuck outta equifax!

      • Wolf Tracker

        I expect a whole lot of people will be contacted by Equifax saying your info was compromised that have never had anything to do with Equifax.

        They have access to everyone’s credit histories.

        • Jenny

          Well they’re a credit bureau. They’re only job is to have that information for everyone, make up a system to rate it, and give the info to lenders for credit worthiness.

          Which means if any place should have been the Fort Knox of info security, it should have been this place.

          I always liked Trans Union the best anyway. Equifax sucked at fixing disputes.

          • Wolf Tracker

            I wrote a long article for a source about how hackers would take down the US by attacking the credit bureaus to wipe out everyone’s credit.

            I hate it when I am right ;-)

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Instead of one year of free credit monitoring, Equifax should provide monitoring as long as your SSN and DOB have not changed.

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        My DOB changed after my last reincarnation. What to do?

        –J. Christ

        Also illegal alien from Palestine.

    • dlemex

      I wonder if they chose to dump this announcement during the hurricane?!? They have known for a month.

  • Wolf Tracker

    People saying they are going to ride out the storm on their boats.

    25 foot storm front waves expected.

    If I had a boat I would drive it way far away from the storm.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Weddings are only “profoundly symbolic ceremonies” because religious zealots demand they be so. Marriage is a contract — specifically a contractual arrangement to provide for the disposition of assets in the event that one of the signatories dies intestate. Legally, a wedding has as much meaning as the signing of a will. It’s like making people go through an elaborate public ceremony when they sign a cell phone contract or forcing people to throw a party when they click “continue” after checking the box to agree to an EULA.

    • “Dude, iTunes just updated there terms and conditions, TIME FOR A RAGER!”

      • NastyBossetti

        But, really, is it ever a bad time for a rager?

    • twaingirlie

      Except of course, when it comes to taxes. Then getting that civil license done mean a helluva lot.

    • Spurning Beer

      Getting out of a cell phone contract is more difficult than getting out of a marriage contract. And there’s no pre-nups.

      • Reddishrabbit

        I (Consumer) and Verizon, to be in a contract together. We promise to be together in for better, for worse, (does not include worse), for sicknes (does not include sickens), for health (don’t ask about brain cancer, see page XXIXVI for waiver) for richer, for poorer (LOL, you think for pooper! Have you meet our collection agents) from now to your death (including your estate, death will not get you out of this)

    • h4rr4r

      Mine was very profound! The judge read the state provided text so wonderfully and you should have seen the way he filed the paperwork!

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Our wedding was so profound, the clerk scheduled it in Courtroom 1. Most people get shunted off to Courtroom 3 or 4 . . . or worse, 5.

    • Covfefe

      No fault divorce aside, the importance of marriage is that it is a status relationship, not a mere contractual relationship. Gays want the status, under the same terms as everyone else. If marriage were a mere contract, gays would be content to enter a common law partnership agreement.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        The contract confers the status. I agree that gays want the status, and that is why the government’s argument is ridiculous. By creating a “profoundly symbolic ceremony” attendant upon a governmental action that is only allowed to certain people, when the actual results can be achieved through other agreements, there is no basis for limiting participation beyond a discriminatory intent.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        No, we wouldn’t be content with that. There’s that pesky separate but equal problem that we aren’t about to put up with. Also, you already lost that fight.

        But you are A Troll so I’m wasting my pixels.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          No. Not a troll. Please feel free to disagree with them. But they are not a troll.

        • Shanzgood

          I read the OP as advocating for same-sex marriage rights, not being a troll.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        I owe you an apology and I proffer it herewith. I’m now aware you are not a troll. However, it appears I am A Idiot.

        • Covfefe

          No. Big. It’s Wonkette.

          • Jeffery Campbell

            I appreciate your graciousness.

  • Look, you’re free to bake all the bigoted cakes you want and give them to your friends (who are probably just the worst people), but as soon as you open that business to the public, YOU CANNOT DISCRIMINATE. Damn, why is that so fucking complicated.

    • Rags

      I completely agree, but until SCOTUS or Congress (bwahahahaha!) passes a law that makes LGBTQ discrimination a violation of civil rights, Sesh and the boyz can continue to heap this shit on us and not call it ‘discriminashun’.

  • Panika MCD

    OT – oh, god. day three…

    the dude that suggested making publicly funded arks (okay “selfsustaining disaster shelters”) still can’t take “no” for an answer. now he wants to make one himself and wants me to book it as a venue when it’s not a shelter. FFS.

    • h4rr4r

      Like Noah or like the Covenant?

      • Panika MCD

        the guy who wanted to make “self-sustaining disaster shelters” for that express purpose can’t handle that convention centers, schools and stadiums are built with the notion that they can be used as shelters in the event of a disaster. he wants special buildings that are only used as disaster shelters paid for with taxpayer money. because he is stupid. he’s been banging on about this for three days because he can’t accept my answer to his “just spit balling!” of, “this is why we don’t do that…”

        • h4rr4r

          I like the covenant idea better. Tax funded burn your face off boxes.

          • Panika MCD

            I just want him to accept “no” as my final answer. is that too much to ask?

          • h4rr4r

            Phone a friend.

          • Panika MCD

            isn’t that what you wanks are for?

          • h4rr4r

            I think this place is more like the ask the audience.

          • Panika MCD

            the guy was asking the audience here. now he won’t take the answer “no”.

          • h4rr4r

            Lame.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Do we still have to close our eyes when it’s opened, or did getting that sweet taste of melting Nazi make it a bit more selective?

  • Shanzgood

    Maybe OT but here’s a nice person doing nice things.

    https://www.facebook.com/JayShettyIW/videos/1751485765165881/

    • gallbladder

      Goddamned dust particles…

    • mardam422

      How many restraining orders is the record for one day?

      • Shanzgood

        I could see that happening in the US more than wherever the video was filmed. I said “good morning” to a stranger passing on my street when I was getting ready to take the girls to school and he gave me some serious side eye.

        Oh, well.

        • Sophie McMillan

          I make it a point to smile at people. The numbers who glare back is very sad.

          • Shanzgood

            I try to at least curb my Bitchy Resting Face.

        • mardam422

          Plus, hanging out near all those kids and asking them if you can do something for them? In this country? Are you insane?

          • Shanzgood

            I presumed the parents were present and he asked them first because, yes, otherwise insane.

        • Persistent Demme

          Depends where you are, doesn’t it?
          A stranger waved “Hi!” to me when they were crossing the street, in So. Dakota.
          I nearly wrecked my car, my NY-self was so startled!

          • Celtic_Gnome

            I grew up on a farm. My Dad nearly wrecked the car trying to wave to everyone in the fields while driving down the road. God forbid you pass someone on a hay wagon and not wave.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      I would sell my soul (were it not already dead) for that gentleman’s beautiful, mellifluous baritone voice. Holy smokes.

      • Shanzgood

        Seriously, that voice made my ovaries twitch.

  • Spurning Beer

    Of course cake decorators are artists. After all, conservative lawyers are bullshit artists.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    At White House briefing, FEMA/DHS guy credits “President Trump’s leadership” for federal response. Is it just me or do Trump’s people ALWAYS make a point of praising the Dear Leader?

    • Dudleydidwrong

      “Praise or gulag–you decide.”

      • PubOption

        Or possibly being shot with an anti-aircraft gun.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        *taps baseball bat into open palm*

    • miss_grundy

      He demands that they begin every speech by praising him. These people are so sad.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      “President Trump’s leadership.”

      Another hideous gaping oxymoran.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    A loser at a gig once asked us to do “Peaceful Easy Feeling”. We were drunk and said we’d do it for 30 bucks. To my horror and eternal shame, he agreed. I hate the fuckin’ Eagles.

    • aureolaborealis

      Did they specify the style they wanted? If not, a lot of fun could be had for those $30.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Nah…he got the cowpunk version and ponied up. It’s all a bit hazy, but I just remembered we changed the words to “restful easy feeling”, just to be dicks. I think we took the $30 and bought more beer.

    • ariel_gee_398

      I’m surprised you didn’t take it to the limit. He was probably a desperado who usually lives life in the fast lane, and would have paid even more so he could take it easy and hear his favorite tune.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        A pox on your Journey through life.

    • NastyBossetti

      I don’t even know what that song is.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Pfft…youngsters these days.

        • Shanzgood

          JFC!

        • NastyBossetti

          MrBossetti is younger than I am, and he says he knows it. I have never lived in a household where the Eagles were popular, and I don’t listen to the radio, so I guess I just got lucky!

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            You’ve led a charmed life, child. If you were a certain age, you couldn’t have avoided them, no matter how hard you tried. Like measles.

            You get your beer yet?

          • NastyBossetti

            I did! It arrived Wednesday, but I was on my way to a show so I didn’t get to try it until last night. I found it to be a very good after-gym beverage. Now I have to pack the rest away for the next 4 weeks until my party.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Great! Yeah, you don’t want to leave it out in the open tempting you and the Mister or anything. It is pretty good though, innit?

          • NastyBossetti

            Yeah, I guess Fat Mike didn’t get in the way TOO much.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Right? God knows what his ideas were!

          • Celtic_Gnome

            A friend of mine saw them on a reunion tour. $125.00 per ticket. He said they were terrible.

      • Shanzgood

        You can keep your damn frisbee!

        *flings it into the traffic*

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      LOL – Hotel California came on the radio and I flipped the station using those exact words: I hate the fuckin’ Eagles.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Pretentious douches.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Hotel California. Far from being my favorite tune. Boy Howdy! Furthermore, that song seems to go on and on forever and fucking ever. I always changed the station back in the days I actually listened to the radio.

      • Persistent Demme

        OMG!
        I hate that tune more than any other.
        What a pretentious load of cocaine-addled crap that “song” is!

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I lived in Nashville in the late 70’s. There were two rock stations on the dial, and it became muscle memory to switch from one to the other when Freebird came on. One time, I switched, and the other station was playing Freebird 1 measure later.

        I just switched back and forth until I truly understood what Hell was.

    • jsmukg

      ….but I Can’t Tell You Why…….:)

  • Indiepalin

    If Rembrandt had been asked to paint a portrait of a gay wedding in swinging Amsterdam and had refused, would he have been sued by Mr. & Mr. Hans Brinker? I think not.

  • Rick Hill

    “Weddings are deeply sacred…blah blah blah…”
    So how about some church jails for people who get married and then piss all over the religiosity by having affairs and getting divorced? Or the couples who don’t procreate while in the holiness of the union?

  • aureolaborealis

    ” … this is a million DUCKS! I asked for a million bucks!”
    “Do you think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?”

  • Jeffery Campbell

    Does my heirloom sterling Christofle cake knife not cut both ways on this issue? If this is successful, couldn’t LGBT bakers everywhere put a sign in their windows that says “No Breeders EVAH”? Not that we ever would, because we are business smart like that and understand that customers = Amero$$.

    That’s what mystifies me. Why would a business turn away paying customers? And good God, ya’ll, teh Gheys have a goodly amount of disposable income to spend on cakes and flowers. Well, at least we did until we decided having babbies was something we needed to do. Not being (even remotely) a new gay, I can only speak for my own disposition.

    I guess this just gets filed under the heading of Gays are ICKY and Don’t Deserve Nice Things. NEWSFLASH – we invented “Nice Things.”

    • miss_grundy

      There are probably bakers out there who don’t have children and don’t want any but I doubt they would pass up the opportunity of making money baking cakes for a child’s birthday. Or doesn’t have a sideline of baking cakes for parents of dogs and cats that want cakes for their children. That amicus brief is full of hooey. The proprietors of a bake shop are in it for the money, not religion. If you want to practice your beliefs, give up your bake shop and become a missionary.

  • Theologically speaking, I’ve always been curious just how far up the supply chain the gay cooties go. So the baker who bakes them a wedding cake is guilty of buttfucking. What about the driver who delivered the ingredients? Or the company that produced the flour and sugar and sold them to the baker? Is the farmer who milked the cow and got the eggs guilty too? What about the cow and chicken? Are they guilty of sodomy?

    unless you get a cool couple (which is rare)

    I like to think we were cool. We hired a cellist to play at the wedding itself and a bagpiper and a Scottish string quartet and dancers to play at the reception. No “Celebration”, no chicken dance, no DJ. Just men and women in kilts dancing and trying to teach us how to dance… which was difficult after sharing two bottles of champagne with my bride.

    • Wolf Tracker

      Don’t know bout cow and chicken but I have two hens and no rooster and one is sitting on eggs that can never hatch while the other has learned to crow.

      Just sayin…

      • Rags

        I had a nice lesbian pair of lovebirds, once. Both laid eggs in the nesting box.

    • BosGrl

      You can say “no chicken dance” but one of your aunts or uncles will go up to the band and request it and won’t take no for an answer.

    • Rags

      “Contains only certified non-GMO (Gay Marriage Option) ingredients.”

  • aureolaborealis

    I think, whatever the court rules on this, that people like this should have to have a huge sign in their window declaring who they will not serve on account of their “religious principles.” Then the rest of us can simply take our custom elsewhere whenever we see such a sign.

    • Rick Hill

      Yup, false pretenses, otherwise

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I would prefer something along the lines of “Because of our religious principles, we discriminate against:” and then a checklist.

    • ariel_gee_398

      But don’t you know it violates their first amendment rights to not buy from them just because they’re bigots?

      • Shanzgood

        Ugggh…my head hurts.

        • ariel_gee_398

          Prolonged exposure to wingnut logic may cause headaches, blurred vision, nausea and indigestion. It should come with a warning label.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            The one thing it won’t cause is an erection lasting more than four hours.

            Or four minutes, for that matter.

    • Shanzgood

      Agreed! Pharmacies and hospitals, too!

      “Due to our religious beliefs, women and LGBT customers may receive substandard medical treatment. Enter at your own risk.”

      • NastyBossetti

        This idea has the makings of several great activist street art installments.

    • Marion in Savannah

      A habit that all-too-many stores have around here is to quote scripture on signs outside their place of business. It is helpful in that Mr. MinS and I know who to avoid giving our custom to.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Here in AZ, christain businesses put up their fish sign. I appreciate that; it makes it easier for me to figure out which businesses to avoid like the plague.

        • Shanzgood

          I don’t always assume that. I have trans friends who attend a local Christian church that has a lesbian pastor.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        We recently got one of those southern chain restaurants in this town that has bible verses and other religious propaganda printed on their napkins, paper products, etc. Mrs. Dudley and I ate there twice–first and last. Another ice cream purveyor played nothing but “Christian” music over the speakers. Same response from us. Their choice–but also ours.

    • Rags

      So you’re good with “this restaurant does not serve asians.”?

      • aureolaborealis

        I didn’t say I supported people being bigoted assholes. My point is that if someone is a bigoted asshole, whatever else is happening to them legally, I’d prefer that they self-identify in a way that lets me not give them my business … ideally before I’ve given them any business.
        So, if they are a restaurant that doesn’t want to serve Asians, yes, they should have a sign up so we can all make an informed decision to boycott them into bankruptcy.

  • Fartknocker

    All I know is my sister, Betsy Fartknocker, is a confirmed lesbian and when she came out, she blamed it on that skank Susie Homemaker and her cake machine.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      She used to be Suzie Creamcheese, but something got into her.

      • BosGrl

        I thought she was Suzie Chapstick?

    • Jenny

      Betty Crocker is one seductive mistress.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Maybe the idea of taking a puddle of goop getting hard under the glare of a 60-watt lightbulb with the end result an inedible pale little lump that nobody loves was just too “on the nose” for the analogy of making a real-life “bun in the oven.”

  • Bobathonic

    Funny, because the government IS permitted to compel that same level of participation when it’s prayer. Ha. Ha.

    http://www.jurist.org/paperchase/2017/09/federal-appeals-court-rules-prayer-at-michigan-countys-public-meeting-constitutional.php

    • Latverian Diplomat

      So much for “Ceremonial Deism?”

  • Timothy Watson
    • Lance Thrustwell

      I love that scene.

  • Marion in Savannah

    Oh, Evan, sympathies on what you’ve probably had to play at weddings. I’ll never forget the look on the church organist’s face when I told him for my mother’s funeral as pre- and post-service music to play whatever he chose from Benjamin Britten and Ralph Vaughn Williams (two of mother’s favorite composers). I might as well have given him vast, rolling tracts of cash.

  • Electric Ukulele Land

    Do the cake makers also vet that the couple has a snowball’s chance in hell of making it work? Because they probably shouldn’t bless unions that are obviously doomed or are being done because of nefarious financial reasons. And what if the individuals involved should be in no way encouraged to reproduce because they are obviously terrible human beings and their progeny would no doubt become atrocious hellspawn? That would be a misuse of these cake makers artistic talents and would undermine their artistic integrity. My god, the form for getting a wedding cake done and the interview process must be insane!

    In any case, remember, this is all worth it so we can get a pure enough candidate in 2020. Or 2024. Or sometime in the future.

    • BosGrl

      I think they’d be surprised at how many commandments their preferred customers break on a regular basis.

  • I stopped playing weddings many years ago. It’s one of the reasons I got a day job. HORRIBLE experiences. Also, too, speaking of discrimination. people think nothing of paying $10,000 or MORE for flowers for a wedding, but balk at paying musicians anything more than a pittance. It’s so insulting.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I’ve played a couple of weddings. But the band I was in was invited to play our own stuff, so best of all worlds. Free shrimp!

    • BosGrl

      I’ve got a dear friend who has his own band plus is in 3 others, and his wife is in another. Just to make a living. The flowers don’t make the party – the band does.

    • NastyBossetti

      I had 2 bands at my wedding, and I paid them what they asked. One of them, I contributed to their kickstarter for a new album at the level that they would play a private party (the first time MrBossetti and I met was at their first record release party). The others were guys who grew up with my brothers and I used to take to punk shows when they were in junior high. They didn’t ask for very much so I gave it to them, and I paid for their hotel room. The hotel mixed it up and the band ended up in OUR hotel room (with the complimentary champagne and chocolate covered strawberries) and we ended up in theirs, without any of that stuff. They thought EVERY room had that stuff and that we throw the greatest parties ever.
      Which we do, actually. But that was supposed to be my booze, dammit!

  • Panika MCD

    OT – 4 TX Republican Congress critters voted against Harvey funding

    because they got theirs. (one’s about to retire, we need to get rid of the other 3.)

    https://www.texastribune.org/2017/09/08/harvey-aid-heads-trump-signature/

    • Nounverb911

      Maybe they just want Abbott to use the $10B Texas rainy day fun that Abbott doesn’t want to use.

      • Panika MCD

        nope. not why. and it’s the Economic Stabilization Fund. it’s supposed to even things out in the budget during bust years. “Rainy Day Fund” is a misnomer.

        • Marion in Savannah

          Well, when one of the major cities in the US is under water that just MIGHT bring a wee bit of a bust to their budget, no?

          • Panika MCD

            it will, but if they tap it, they’ll do it in the supplemental budget in 2019. Gov. Wheels doesn’t want to give the lt. gov. another shot at getting any of his agenda passed and he knows that nothing won’t come up for a vote in the Senate if he doesn’t add any social issues to the call. Gov. Wheels has noticed that Dan Patrick’s agenda is no good for fundraising.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Good to know the Gov has his priorities straight.

          • Panika MCD

            if the votes aren’t there, there’s no point in calling us (everyone who works there) all back. he’s starting to lean that way, but he learned his lesson with the last one.

      • Panika MCD

        also too: the ESF should have $12.5B in it right now. but that’s neither here nor there. people keep latching onto it as the thing that’s going to save our butts with a disaster that has a $180-200B price tag. I know some legislators have called for it, but they need the votes before another special is going to be called. otherwise it just turns into another round of bathroom bill hearings.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Wait’ll Chuck and Nancy schmooze Donnie into believing the only way to pay for all these disasters is to raise taxes and close loopholes on the wealthiest Americans.

          Now, that’s when I want to see the shot of Ryan’s and McConnell’s faces.

          • Panika MCD

            a) that has nothing to do with ESF.

            b) Harvey did $180-200B in damage.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Fucking Barton. The same grandchildren shit Pence spouted after Katrina. Have the Republicans had an original thought since Eisenhauer?

      (Last original thought being Military Industrial Complex)

  • CO
    • Marion in Savannah

      Color me completely and totally unsurprised.

    • NastyBossetti

      They’re much angrier about *everything* when they see an image of a black man.

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        This premise exactly proven by their responses to “Obamacare” vs. “the ACA.”

        Gosh, I sure hope no unscrupulous political groups have taken notice of their nearly involuntary knee-jerk response to such things, and subsequently try to exploit it!

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Reporters now on Saint Martin: “As if an atomic bomb was dropped.”

    • Marion in Savannah

      And the mold, etc., left behind may be almost as bad as fallout. Awful.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Yeah it is a miracle only two people died.

  • Jgb979

    My STRONGLY HELD RELIGIOUS BELIEF permits me to turn Trump voters away at the door, because I wouldn’t want my business transaction to in any way endorse #45.

    • Rags

      That’s OK

  • Lance Thrustwell

    So wait a minute. Evan is saying that there is no category of goods & services or artistic expression that should be permitted to decline a gay wedding?

    Nothing wrong with that argument necessarily, just making sure.

    • Rags

      Can’t answer for Evan, obvs, but for me any goods and services offered to the public cannot be offered in a manner that discriminates against a protected class. And I, but not the Feds (so far) consider LGBTQ folks a protected class like race, religion, national origin, etc.

    • Bitter Scribe

      Not if they’re in a state that prohibits discrimination in public business on the basis of sexual orientation. No more than there is any “category of goods & services or artistic expression that should be permitted to decline” a black or interracial marriage.

  • Nounverb911
    • If I ever got married (NO!!!), that would be my wedding cake!

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        I, for one, would just go ahead and marry the cake.

        • Bitter Scribe

          See? SEE? You allow gay marriage and the next thing you know, people are marrying pastry.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            A slippery slope, to be sure. Delicious but slippery. Which has always worked for me.

      • Nounverb911
        • Jenny

          I for real thought that was Mr. Hankey.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          That looks familiar. What’s that from?

          Oh – posted above. Thanks.

      • NastyBossetti

        I got married, and our cake was Cookie Puss.

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          Too few of us oldes™ remember Fudgie the Whale and others …

        • Oh that’s fucking BRILLIANT!!!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Dayum.

    • Rags

      Here’s the awesome video of that cake I like up there.

      https://youtu.be/U3khFGSN3XA

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Shoulda figured it was French.

    • Wolf Tracker

      My Ex was a professional cake decorator and she was an artist. Absolutely beautiful custom wedding cakes that left me in awe.

  • Creepoman

    Jack is in for a big surprise when he finds out Jesus is gay.

  • anon_the_great

    What is it with fascists using art to hurt people?

    • Marion in Savannah

      They’ll use anything they can.

    • It’s the first thing they go for. Well, that and mass murder.

  • La forza del resistino

    OT: Sarah Huckabee doing a WH presser wearing what looks like the dress Mary Lincoln wore to Abe’s funeral.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Pix or GTFO (can’t look … at work)

    • dshwa

      Her outfits and hair tell you that she really doesn’t have even a token gay friend.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Is that on inside out?? Are those shoulders perhaps made for ass-cheeks because that blouse is actually pants??

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    It’s a slippery slope! What’s Next™?? The government is gonna tell me I gotsta artfully serve my artistic squeeze cheese on artisanal art crackers with accoutrements du Slim-Jim to people without shoes or shirts!!? Will the jackboots come in and force me to allow Solicitation on my doorstep??!

    WHAT’S NEXT, I ASK?? HOW ABOUT I MAKE UP AN EVEN WORSER IMAGINARY SCENARIO THAT REALLY SCARES YOU NEXT TIME??

    • Wild Cat

      Actually, the wisest slippery slope is for gay doctors and other persons of import to use a religious test to determine if the patient is homophobic and then refuse treatment.
      You’d be amazed at how many homophobes would do a scalia in a nonosecond if their appendices are rupturing.

      • Swampgas_Man

        “Do a Scalia” as in dropping dead? Rules for Radicals, please!

  • Nounverb911

    More OT

    Natural disaster = profits in trumptopia.
    https://twitter.com/kylegriffin1/status/906209974380060673

    • jesterpunk

      Where is my shocked face?

    • puredog

      Well, Crom willing, it will be offset by destruction of his St. Martin’s property and Mar-a-Lego.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Well, well, well, look who’s here.
    I haven’t seen you in many a year.
    If I knew you were comin’ I’d’ve expressed my artistic integrity,
    expressed my artistic integrity, expressed my artistic integrity.
    If I knew you were comin’ I’d’ve expressed my artistic integrity.
    How-ja do. How-ja do, How-ja do.

    Sorry, does not scan. Appeal denied.

  • DerrickWildcat

    Cakes are all made by 3D printers. Don’t need any Cake Bakers anymore.

  • Wolf Tracker

    Trump going to camp David again. He has not spent time at his own properties for over a month and something tells me Mueller has informed him to stay in Washington except on official business.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Well, my solution, if asked to make business cards for the Westboro church crazies, would be to write their name and telephone number in crayon on the inside of a square cut from a cereal box, and present it to them. If they didn’t like it, too bad – they could go somewhere else. In the same vein, if you don’t want to serve certain people, why not make it blatant? Just put huge crosses up all over your business. We’ll know to stay the hell away from you.

    • ariel_gee_398

      If the Westboro Baptists came into my fictional shop, I’d put up a nice sign that said “100% of the profits from any sales to bigots will be donated to LGBT and pro-abortion charities. Have a blessed day.”

    • Lance Thrustwell

      If I were a baker or a florist, I’d have a big-ass rainbow flag sticker on the front window. Those idiots can lose the business to me!

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        I would go for a picture of a big ass on the window.

  • natoslug

    I hear that King James feller what personally wrote the real bible fer Jesus was a bit light in the loafers. I hope the Cake Nazis are using properly hetero bibles to base their bigotry on.

  • Bitter Scribe

    A state “might attempt to bar a freelance graphic designer who agrees to design fliers for the upcoming meetings of a Jewish affinity group from declining to do so for a neo-Nazi group or the Westboro Baptist Church.

    Sure it might. And I might start at free safety for the Bears on Sunday. Seriously, that’s what they think the Constitution needs to protect against?

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    I passed up such an opportunity this AM. This random guy I was talking to about the hurricane told me Jesus was getting reAdy to return, and all these hurricanes were proof. If I’d been using my noggin, I would have replied “God is absolutely furious that a fornicator/adulterous greed monster is in the WH, that’s why he’s attacking the worst of the red states.”

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Jesus just loves drowning kids. It’s, like, his favorite thing.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Baptism has been misunderstood for millennia.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I was waiting for the guy to tell me it was because God was pissed at the abortions, and the gay cakes.

      • Electric Ukulele Land

        It was really more of an Old Testament thing, but with the whole doctrine of the Trinity thing, fact checkers would let that statement pass

      • Swampgas_Man

        Should’ve learned to walk on water like their boss!

    • Bitter Scribe

      Wasn’t it supposed to be the fire next time? (Of course, in the West, it already is.)

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        He did mention Kim Jung On, so maybe thats the fire. I didnt have the heart to tell him his chances of getting nuked were better than getting raptured.

    • Electric Ukulele Land

      Good to know that as the droughts, fires, storms and starvation get more and more Biblical in scale due to climate change that at least some people will be happy about it.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Climate change isn’t real! It’s a liberal hoax.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Nice. But a bunch of us blue states are burning.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I know, but I don’t think he did. I have to be honest, I’m not see I g much about your burning. I think hurricanes are sexier as far as the news goes.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    If people don’t want to bake a cake for a same-sex couple, I say, great….But they also shouldn’t be able to bake a cake for anyone who has “sinned” according to the Bible. Second marriage? Nope, can’t bake. Lived together before marriage? No cake. Been to the Red Lobster and had shrimp? Can’t serve you. Wearing mixed fabrics? No cake for you. Ever told a lie? You will not taste my frosting! Pretty soon, their bakery doors will close, and then they can be 1,000% sure they don’t bake cakes for sinners other than themselves.

    • jesterpunk

      So Kim Davis and Mike Huckabee wouldn’t be served anywhere?

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        As God intended.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Sin Cakes! I have the name of my bakery, should I ever open one. Thank you.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Sin Cakes is my new rapper name.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Sinfully delicious?

  • Arolpin

    Since Evan brought it up, let’s list wedding songs that DON’T suck. I think my wedding song didn’t suck, but I’ll let Evan decide:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwX2ftzmXuc

  • SisterArtemis

    This is a weird topic for me, because it crosses into my particular line of work, and the policies we have at our shop. And I’ll be very curious where this case goes.

    I’m a tattoo artist, working at a shop which has certain subject matter we will not do. For example, as policy and in my employment contract, no swastikas or SS logos, no hitler-ish stuff at all. No “White Power” down the backs of people’s arms (or anywhere else), no hate group imagery. No one currently working here will do the confederate flag, though it isn’t written policy not to do it; due to the stupid controversy over heritage/hate, my boss has left that one up to the artists, who were permitted to do it if “heritage” and not if it was “hate.” We’re a pretty hippie-dippie nice time tattoo shop, so we don’t get too many requests for that kind of stuff, but it does come up periodically, and I’m always quite happy to say, “Nope, shop policy, will not do it.”

    So, where does this sit in terms of the artistic expression vs. services available to all? I’m not sure; I do know I wouldn’t do a swastika for anyone regardless of reason (we occasionally are asked to do it from either the Tibetan or Southwest native traditions), so does that cover me? I don’t think I am “discriminating” against a Nazi for being a Nazi by turning their swastika tattoo down, because I wouldn’t do it for anyone, right?

    Like I said, I have watched and will be watching these debates in the courts and elsewhere, not just because it’s interesting on its own merits, but because it crosses over into my own work.

    • OrG

      But would you do a different tattoo for a nazi?

      • SisterArtemis

        I probably have. Here in the ol’ PNW, we’ve got quite a few of them.

        I’ve certainly tattooed my share of right-wing bigots, Nazi or otherwise. But the subject matter hasn’t been anything offensive.

        • OrG

          That’s the difference. No swastikas for ANYBODY.

    • jesterpunk

      Your not born as a Nazi.

      • SisterArtemis

        True ’nuff.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        What if you’re born with naturally occurring oppositional defiant disorder and were abused as a child by a Jewish uncle? Maybe not ‘born Nazi’, but not a lot of choice if you end up being one.

        • Rags

          Still OK until ‘being a Nazi’ is a legally protected class.

        • SnarkON

          Lady Gaga suggested this very possibility in her hit song “Born This Way.”

      • Persistent Demme

        Then how do you explain Stephen Miller?!!1!1!

        • jesterpunk

          Breitbart cloning gone wrong?

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      I think the difference is that it’s okay to say what you will not do for anyone as opposed to not doing what you normally do for a particular group. If you own a vegetarian restaurant, you can’t be sued for not serving hamburgers.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Well, political affiliation isn’t a protected class. So that pretty much is the stop point.

    • Covfefe

      You aren’t discriminating against a suspect class, a group of people historically subject to discrimination. You’re discriminating on the basis of content, which is considered offensive by almost all Americans, regardless of class. You would be discriminating against a suspect class if you refused to provide services to Asians, or gays, for that matter. The problem with gay wedding cakes is that it isn’t the cake that provokes the discrimination, it’s the status of the customer.

    • SnarkON

      I think one difference is that a Nazi symbol is a hate symbol, whereas a cake is not. So you’re refusing to create art that glorifies hate, while the bakers are refusing to create art *because* they hate.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      I’d say you’re making a distinction about content, and not about the person asking for the art.

      And as such, it doesn’t matter to you (or your shop) whether it’s a white nationalist , or Clayton Bigsby asking for your services. Both get a no on that imagery. But if they then opted for Tweety Bird with the words “Specail Prinecess” next to it, you’d do it.

      You might also correct their spelling, because you’re probably a good person.

      In short, you’re discriminating about the content of what is being done, and not making a judgment about the customer requesting services.

      There is a mighty difference between the two.

    • little miss high and mighty

      Artist in the NS mire, legally and profitably public?
      See Jonathan Messe- casebook study since German law is otherwise unconditional.
      A great Opera/Heavy Metal singer named Nikitin was caught shirtless a few years bak by Bayreuth Boss, Kathatrina Wagner, exposing his forbidden sins of the flesh.
      Fired on the spot- later spitefully hired by competator Nicolar Bachler at Bavarian State opera, following retouch job and PR perfume.
      Mel Brooks had to have all his stage decor rearranged for “The Producers”
      Instead of the NS Swastika they used Black pretzels in the familiar red and white flags and armbands- actually more currently offensive to the middle class, who see themselves bove the debate.
      There already is a lively record of the once holy symbol’s misuse and now reaction.
      Start with Messe- he’s a hoot!

    • puredog

      I still want to see a picture of Paolo Duterte’s “gang” tattoo.

      • SisterArtemis

        Probably hello kitty with a pipe… /snerk

    • Serai 1

      What did you think of Man/Woman?

      • SisterArtemis

        Not sure what you are referencing

        • Serai 1

          ManWoman was a Canadian artist who was covered in Tibetan and Native swastika tattoos. He was a very cool guy, and one of his foci was to teach the history of the symbol and take it back from the shitheads who had filthed it up. Kinda famous in the annals of tattooing. Never got to meet him, though I wanted to.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9PicYAofO4

          • SisterArtemis

            Oh yes, I know who you are talking about now. I thought he did good to use his body, his public presence, as a conversation starter to teach the longer history of the swastika. Not a choice I would make personally, but admirable.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      It boils down to the protected classes that have been codified state-by-state. In no state are Nazis or any other hate group protected. The protected classes are, in many cases, being protected from them.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Like Evan says, there is an interesting question at hand here. Let’s say a couple wants a zombie-themed wedding, and the photographer they want to hire hates zombies and all manner of horror/nightmare imagery. So the photographer says thanks for the offer, but I’m not the best choice of photographer. Could the couple sue?

    I realize this is emphatically not a perfect analogy or even close. I just wonder if this thought experiment sheds any interesting light on the issue.

    • Shanzgood

      Zombie-liking isn’t something you’re born with. Sexual orientation is.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Well that’s true – hence the imperfection of the analogy. Of course, whether sexual orientation is inborn is not the crucial issue here, is it?

        • Rags

          No, the crucial issue is whether being a zombie is a protected class under our legal system. Judging by contemporary movies and TV, it ain’t.

          • Lance Thrustwell

            Fair enough. There’s still some places to go in thought-experiment land with this topic, but your point is unquestionably valid.

      • therblig
    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      It’s the content that the photographer finds objectionable, and not the couple’s composition.

      In short, I’d say it’s perfectly okay to filter based on WHAT is being made. You can’t filter based on WHO asks for it.

      The couple won’t get very far because being a zombie aficionado is not a recognized protected class.

      Likely no attorney, except for zombie George Romero, would take their case. But he’d have to return from the grave first, and then pass the bar.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        What if the zombies were Hispanic?

        • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

          LOSSSSS SESOSSSSSss….

  • Thiazin Red

    Piano Man is the fucking worst.

    • SnarkON

      Reminds me of a possibly apocryphal story in which a local Los Angeles alternative paper once named Billy Joel’s Greatest Hits the worst album of the year.

      • Serai 1

        Not apocryphal. I believe it was the LA Reader, if I’m remembering correctly.

        • SnarkON

          YES!

          • Serai 1

            I always gave them a pass because they had Michael Ventura.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Hell, Billy was just getting warmed up. He’s written songs since then that make Piano Man sound like Randy Newman.

  • CO

    Maybe the cake thing has to do with Trump’s issue with size
    https://twitter.com/Newsweek/status/906180352493981696

    • jesterpunk

      It is not clear whether Trump was referring to his personal private jet or Air Force One. However, as Air Force One is similar in length to the Boeing 747-400 that carries the emir, Trump likely was referring to his Boeing 757 personal plane, which is about 75 feet shorter than the Kuwaiti ruler’s.

      https://media.tenor.com/images/7a940ba7f131f51a0b80dabc0fdb2774/tenor.gif

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Oy (Oh for fuck’s sake!) vey

      Maybe Trump should use the Spruce Goose for his plain, then.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      There’s nothing peculiar about his obsession with size. You think someone as insecure and fragile as Trump would be confident about the size of his penis?

  • Electric Ukulele Land

    Maybe the cake makers could just write some sort of disclaimer on the cake like “This cake does not constitute an endorsement of this union” — you know, in tiny, tiny frosting letters along the edge.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Not bad! and it’s not on a memento that they would keep from the wedding. Still, it does introduce a note of negativity into the proceedings.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Disclaimers. All over the cake. Warnings and disclaimers. To prepare the happy couple for the inevitable family law proceedings.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    The brief argues that Phillips, if he makes the gay cake, is essentially saying, “I artistically declare that two dudes pledging boners to each other is awesome!”

    Sure, why not. After all, Picasso artistically declared that bombing small Spanish towns was awesome when he painted Guernica.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      So you could make the persuasive argument to a homophobic baker that he’s… revealing inhumanity and commemorating a tragedy? That’s a little dark.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        I suppose you could, but my comment was more about shooting a hole in the idea that any artistic expression necessarily constitutes an endorsement. Yes, I realize that I’m not leaving myself any grounds for refusing to frame a picture of Hitler.

  • SnarkON

    “The hate is baked in!”

  • ziggywiggy

    How many wedding cakes have actual words written on them? Isn’t it usually just flowers and squiggly lines?

    • SnarkON

      “Happy Hitchin’!” “Ryan + Brittany 4 Ever!” “Go Fuck Now!”

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Klassy Kakes!

    • natoslug

      Well, mine had “’til death do us part!*” on the top and “*Not intended as a factual statement” on the side . . .

    • Rags
      • ziggywiggy

        Lesbians? I’m definitely wearing a tux when I get gay married.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Does a bus-station graffiti peen, shooting jizz onto buttcheeks, count as writing?

      Pretty sure all the christianists think this is what they’re going to be making.

  • TundraGrifter

    This is not the cake we like.

  • Blackest Noobs

    if you think making a cake for the gays would make God® send you to hell, then you’re helluva fucking stupid.
    in fact, i betcha, God® would send you straight to hell for not making the fucking cake for the gays.

    How so?

    then what the fuck was the fucking point of the good Samaritan story? i mean these fucking bible-thumpers love to research bout their bible, and Samaritans, if they did their research, would discover, were not so fucking nice. the point is, as was many other similar lessons in the fucking Bible, not being a fucking dumbfuck asshole, be a decent person and not worry too much about a speck in yo Bro’s eye and be more concerned about yourself and how you fucking act among those you disagree with….my outrage is less about these fuck-all shithole bakers but other Christians for not calling out these asshole for wasting our time and more importantly wasting God®’s time.

    seriously even God® is like….uh you people can go fuck off.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    “Let ’em eat cake…unless they’re gay, in which case they’re SOL!”

    – Trump administration

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Oh, I thought you said “I’ve a classical penis!” This makes more sense.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      How fabulous!

  • Rebel Scum with permit

    Thinking of the many creative but dignified ways over the years judges have said “bullshit”. Hopefully a majority of the Supremes will .

  • PixieThis

    I just think if you own a business and you make wedding cakes, you make them for everyone. My question would extend to “does your bakery make birthday cakes for gays?” or “does your bakery make cakes for gay adoptions?” “What about mixed religion marriages?” “Racially mixed marriages?” “Where does your prejudiced ass draw the line?” All fair questions, I think.

    But if you discriminate against one or any group, you should have a sign in your window to let potential customers know so we can make our own decisions to shop there or not.

    • Rags

      Kind of my thing in this thread, I guess…..

      You are free to discriminate against anyone in public accommodations unless you are discriminating on the basis of their membership in a protected class. The definition of protected class varies state to state because some states do not view LGBTQ folks as a protected class (Colorado does, by the way). Federal protected classes include race, religion, national origin so you are SOL if you try that.

      • PixieThis

        I wasn’t talking law myself. I was talking what’s morally right or wrong. My moral code wouldn’t allow me to shop somewhere like that, so I think I should have the right to know. I thought we were safe from this kind of malarkey in the Bay Area, then we learn about the white supremacist restaurant owner who lost business when people found out about it (and then whined that it wasn’t fair, but he can just f-off with that crap).

    • whitroth

      Would they object to making a cake for That Kind (y’know, the “n” word)?

      Public accommodations, scum. Either you serve the public, or incorporate yourself as a church.

    • Bebecca

      or previously divorced people marrying? The bible is much more explicit in its rejection of divorce than gay anything.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    I didn’t have a cake for my wedding, but if I had, I certainly wouldn’t have wanted the baker to express themselves all over it.

    • Toledo Window Box

      Is that… hair gel?

      • george lastrapes

        If it gets in your hair and gels, yes. If it lays eggs, no.

  • george lastrapes

    A fitting punishment? The non-compliant baker pays for a bigger, better cake (ten times bigger?) baked by an inclusive caker. Now see who worships God, and who, Mammon.

    • therblig

      or, gets boycotted and goes out of business so he can truly suffer for his art.

      • TakingAmes

        This is my point. I can refuse service to anyone, I guess, but I should expect to receive some business consequences, such as boycotts by the population in question, if I do. If I’m in a business to make money, then I should be willing to take people’s money in exchange for goods and services.

      • george lastrapes

        We’re both talking about financial incentives, and you’re taking it rather farther than I would.

        That same law: would I, an artist, be required to accept a commission to paint an heirloom-quality portrait of, say, Adolf Hitler, if a prospective client wished it? Seems like it, the way the law is (I assume) written.

        If I sold groceries, or marriage licenses, or gasoline, or houses, or hamburgers and beer, I should be requires to accommodate all comers- those things are necessities. Portraits and wedding-cakes are not. This is just my opinion, of course. I don’t know where one should draw the line.

        As the old saying suggests, are there not trivialities with which the Law should not concern itself?

  • Lazer-Lion

    I feel like there’s an odd sort of centrism when it comes to homophobic bakeries like this, defending their right to refuse service but are against homophobia in general. Why is this something needed “muh but both sides” arguments? Shops should never turn away oppressed classes and discriminate against them, end of story. Is it just because we value materialsim more than people, thus leading to this particular debate?

    • Three Finger Salute

      Welcome to America. Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.

  • The Wanderer
  • Toledo Window Box

    Let them not eat cake.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I used to play and sing in a wedding band 40 years ago, and one time I was asked to sing “Hawaiian Wedding Song” for an elderly couple who were renewing their vows, which nearly made me throw up, but I sang it anyway because they said it was “Their Song”, which just shows how professional I am.

  • Werewolf

    Okay-what if the baker refused to bake a cake for a blah man marrying a whah woman? I guarantee you, there are Christianists out there who have “sincere religious beliefs” about miscegenation.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      That would be my Uncle Martin. He is a retired minister, and he believes that black people are cursed by god to be inferior. He refused to perform “mixed marriages”, including marriages between Protestants and Catholics, or Protestants and Jews. He is 91 now, he will be dead soon, and then he will finally understand what an idiot he is.

    • natoslug

      Thanks to the occasional* moments of racial discrimination in the U.S., most likely that baker would have to base his or her discrimination on something else.

      *Okay, maybe ever-present would be more appropriate here . . .

  • little miss high and mighty

    First thing, Lyle Lovett gets to play the deranged cake denier and second thing here, That town , Lakewood, well Ol Alferd Packer hisself retired to there after serving his time and later pardon for cannibalism AND Lakewood has a quite decent pizzaria and at least one genuinely destinational deli. But this is no attitude for a cake persons- like baking bile right into the ware. He who takes cakes the nazi man bakes make terrible mistakes.
    Parsi man libelz, we know we know.,Kipling.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!
  • bluicebank

    But aren’t the bigoted cake makers violating the main tenet of the Prosperity Gospel?

    “Thou shalt make lots of money, for the poor are evil.”

    Ya can’t make the monies by not selling cakes to everyone. In fact, Jesus wants you advertise. Signage can’t hurt, either.

    Blasphemers.

  • David Chaillou

    I have a provocative question, not because I disagree with anti-discrimination laws but because I’m struggling with the limits of the concept.
    If that Nazi fucker Spencer comes in and asks for a cake with some morally repugnant white supremacist slogan, should I be forced by law to deliver?

    My question is, does anyone have a good rationale to draw a line between preserving individual freedom of conscience and preventing discriminatory behaviours?

    • Eno Frapuni

      My mother taught me that the use of profanity shows that a person has a limited vocabulary and indicates a lack of self control.
      Try rephrasing your thought and I may respond.
      You can do better.

      • natoslug

        No disrespect meant to your mother, but your mother sounds like a fucking idiot.

        • Eno Frapuni

          Thank you, none taken. Once again you proved her correct.

          • natoslug

            You are welcome, even though your mother’s logic may be a wee bit flawed. She might want to read up on the difference between and and or. Once she has done that, there are a few recent studies on the use of profanity that she should peruse if she doesn’t want to continue coming off as a complete numpty.

          • Eno Frapuni

            She has passed away but I’ll tell her when I join her in heaven.

          • natoslug

            Good luck with that. And god spede.

          • Eno Frapuni

            It’s Godspeed.

          • God speed is great. Keeps you up for days.

          • RMKH

            Best line of this “enlightening” conversation. Note to Eno:. I didn’t swear but sometimes I do. Just like every Wonketeer out there.
            And not to be defensive, but I find this group to be highly intelligent. But perchance that is just my miniscule intellect looking up at those with only slightly higher intellectual achievement.

          • natoslug

            Yes, that is the modern form of it. Given your sensibilities, I thought you might be more comfortable with Middle English. Either way, I wish you luck and haste on joining your mother.

          • Beats staring at her jizz-stained photo propped up next to his pillow.

          • Serai 1

            Doesn’t have the brains or education to recognize what you wrote. So much for mother’s teachings.

          • natoslug

            Pink Floyd wrote a song about his mother.

          • So you bring your dead mother into a conversation about foul fucking language? Your mother must be spinning in her grave. Or did you have her stuffed?

          • Eno Frapuni

            No, I merely mentioned something she taught me. Giving her credit for a proper upbringing.
            I see you didn’t do well in reading comprehension as well as English.

          • She taught you how to be a frigid little creampuff. I suppose that’s better than a child molester. Although you never mentioned if your siblings were incarcerated.

          • David Chaillou

            Troll gambits 101. Fucking boring. You can do better.

          • Eno Frapuni

            I presented you with a great number of practical factors you failed to address in your stats. You attempted to troll me on Breitbart, it was weak but I thought you were sincere.
            Until you give an MSc worthy response. I’ll hold off.

          • David Chaillou

            Well, I guess you’ve made lots of new friends here, so you probably won’t miss me.

          • sgt. jmk of the résistance

            Oh you’re a visitor from Dead Breitbarts Home for the Perpetually Butthurt?

            LOL How did I know.

          • just_jim

            The evidence is that she can’t.

          • NOW that cake decoration you ordered from your homophobic, blasphemous baker makes sense. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e7be17e4d4e9297f5ac789a44d97f352f30ff16b5c5e29714fd97089210d8294.jpg

          • george lastrapes

            I was taught that profanity is the pathetic last refuge of the inarticulate motherfucker.

      • Your mother is a stupid bitch.

        • Eno Frapuni

          You just proved her correct.

          • Did she teach you how to use just the right amount of lotion and to always use a clean rag?
            If not, just call her downstairs and say you need to “talk.”

      • David Chaillou

        Troll buddy, you are trolling in the wrong part of the woods. Get lost before the wolves sniff you out. This is not Breitbart.

        • Eno Frapuni

          Not a troll. Just someone who challenged you and you folded.

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            If you are sensitive to foul language and vulgarity, you’re probably in the wrong fucking place.

          • David Chaillou

            That’s what I told him. Sorry for bringing him here.

          • natoslug

            That’s why I always scrape the soles of my shoes before traipsing in. Cleans off the shit and debris I might otherwise track through the joint.

          • David Chaillou

            I believe in transparency. I am sure the Wonkette immune system can handle any dirt that wanders through. Fuckingly aggressive white cells and antibodies.

          • Eno Frapuni

            Not sensitive. Just mature.

          • David Chaillou

            “He was warned. Nevertheless, he persisted.”

          • Eno Frapuni

            Don’t try and project your cowardice on me. Thank you.

          • David Chaillou

            Insider joke. Check the ads at bottom.

          • David Chaillou

            B.S. You played dumb and I did not see the point in out-dumbing you.

          • Eno Frapuni

            No, you cannot respond with anything rational. Perhaps you have never been challenged regarding your assumptions.
            That’s OK, I still think you are a good person doing what you think is correct.

          • Serai 1
      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        That’s some serious fucking bullshit right there.

        https://www.sciencealert.com/swearing-is-a-sign-of-more-intelligence-not-less-say-scientists

        Swearing is a sign of more intelligence, not less.

        • natoslug

          Yeah! You tell ’em! What are we talking about again?

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            Dick cakes

          • Edith Prickly

            AKA those cakes we like!

        • Eno Frapuni

          Do that at a job interview and let us know how it goes.

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            No need. I’m self employed.

          • Eno Frapuni

            Good for you!

          • natoslug

            Ah, now I understand. Your mother knew you were rather simple and did not recognize when it was and wasn’t appropriate to swear. In case you’re still confused, swearing at a job interview is generally frowned upon. Swearing in the Wonkette non-comments is de rigeur.

          • Eno Frapuni

            In other words it is a low brow forum. Got it.

          • natoslug

            We’re a mommy fucking blog. Did you not read what the site was about before wading in? Or is that fucking mommy blog? Either way, pay more attention to your environs, lest you be called a hoofwanking bunglecunt by all.

          • Edith Prickly

            We are classy as fuck and sexy too.

          • David Chaillou

            Not to mention we jump on trolls like sex-crazed minks.

          • Edith Prickly
          • SDGeoff3

            Is that a short-haired mink?

          • David Chaillou

            Rigueur? I’m a French grammar Nazi, can’t help it.

          • natoslug

            Dammit! You are correct. I should quit ignoring my stomach, which says it is time for lunch, and quit berating strangers on the interwebz.

          • David Chaillou

            Without replication errors we’d all still be amoebas. Thank God for errors.

          • natoslug

            My non-dead mother told me I am perfect, just the way I am! You’d think after almost 50 years, she’d quiet down a bit about that.

          • David Chaillou

            “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all”. But if you have something nice to say, don’t miss any opportunity.

          • natoslug

            It could have been worse — I could have gone with the hookt on fonikz spelling and used “day rigger.” Which would have been really confusing.

          • SDGeoff3

            OK, I’ve had enough. Buh-bye, hun.

        • Serai 1

          It’s a troll. What do you expect?

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain
        • SDGeoff3

          My face was soaking wet with tearful laughter when I saw this number in the show.

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            So jealous that you’ve seen it. We keep entering the lottery for it. But yes, it’s hilarious. I love irreverent humor.

      • Serai 1

        Your mother taught you bullshit, dude. People who curse are more honest and more forthright.

      • Edith Prickly

        My mother taught me most of the profanity I know.

        • SDGeoff3

          I learned my choice vocabulary at a college that trains very fine singers, organists, and church musicians.

      • covfefesumgame0005

        and we should give a fuck that you respond why exactly?

      • David Chaillou

        Truth, mate, my parents never swore, but their best friends were fucking masters of the expletive, and as a kid I was just deeply envious and admirative. Now that i am free to swear, I never miss a chance.

        Now if you wanna play dick size with our respective vocabularies, be my guest. I’ve had a hard-on for dictionaries and encyclopedias since the age of 5.

        • Eno Frapuni

          Thank you for showing me what real bigots are. Thank you for showing me the lack of tolerance by those with whom I may disagree.
          Thank you for showing me what a true ignoramus is.
          I am sure you are familiar with the definition of bigot, this is for you friends education.
          Bigot: a person who is obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices; especially: one who regards or treats the members of a group with hatred and intolerance

          • sgt. jmk of the résistance

            Do tell… where was the bigotry? What part – specifically – demonstrated ignorance?

          • CindyinEncinitas

            At least we know how to punctuate.

          • Because you came in here swingin’ about cuss words and calling people names, they are the bigots here, eh?
            Ok then! This could be fun.
            Fuck off, thou sophistic, sanctimonious schmuck. This specious and-dare I say shitty?- bewailing of mislaid martyrdom reveals thy inconsequential cognizance, which appears far less salutary than a hole in an ass, and also, too, divulges what a hoofwanking gudgeon you are.

            Also, for someone who read the dictionary as a kid, you sure don’t words good. This is for you friends education?
            Really?

          • David Chaillou

            Yeah, it sure feels different when you’re on the receiving end. Don’t kid yourself, though. They’re far more bigoted at Breitbart. At Wonkette, if you troll smart or make sense you’ll earn applause. At Breitbart they wouldn’t recognise smart if it bit them, and you earn applause by howling with the wolves. From your up/comment ratio I assume you make the right howls.

          • Eno Frapuni

            I have one interest, adult discourse on important topics of the day. I try and get others to engage on that level. To my disappointment few are interested.
            I am not sure what you mean by “the right howls”. I make pointed comments and inject a perspective that most don’t think of because I think before I post.
            I care much more about clarity than agreement. If an argument is made with clarity in mind I may not agree but, I will respect the position. Again few understand that and fight to be right instead of clear.
            I also travel a wide arch and Breitbart is only one place I drop in on.

          • David Chaillou

            Can’t tell, your comment history is not public. I did not see much of the behaviour you claim in your interaction with me.

          • Eno Frapuni

            You didn’t address my challenges to your statistical conclusions and I became very frustrated. I’m willing to learn and change my conclusions.

          • David Chaillou

            I did not draw statistical conclusions. I just said you can’t hide 30 million additional people in a country of 325 million without leaving telltale signs in a number of indicators. 5 extra million, even possibly 10 extra million, I wouldn’t argue. 30 million, fuggedaboutit.

          • Eno Frapuni

            The extra 10 makes it 21 million total. Double what the government would have us believe.

          • David Chaillou

            Yes. Speaking with zero knowledge of the details I’d say that’s the high side of what is possible. Doesn’t mean that’s the best estimate.

            But I think it’s a misleading approach to think of it as “what the government would have us believe”. In my experience you have very sincere people in various agencies who try to come up with ways of measuring the phenomenon and who, as scientists, are dedicated to “truth” rather than to a political agenda. If these people came up with solid reasons to think the figure is very different from the usual estimate, you’d probavly hear about it, one way or another.

            As far as I am concerned it’s that “politically motivated ” element which makes me highly suspicious of any claim by the likes of Coulter et al. That lady will stop at no distortion of truth to peddle her snake oil, and her colleagues are no better.

        • Eno Frapuni

          Truth; reading the dictionary was one of my favorite pastimes as a kid. The same goes for World Book.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          In the 4th grade, I was called Miss Dictionary Lady. It hurt then but now it makes me proud.

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        I see you’ve decided to put on the Full Armor of Derp before visiting Wonkette. Bold choice.

        It’s funny that you think anyone is really looking for you to respond.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Yer stoopid and yer mother dresses you funny. How’s that?
        http://nypost.com/2017/08/28/smarter-people-are-more-likely-to-use-curse-words/

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        Oh, poor David, he might not receive a reply from a judgmental stranger! How will he cope?

    • TakingAmes

      I have similar reservations, not least that I’m 100% sure that the gay couple in question were offended by the asshole baker and took their capitalist gay money elsewhere where it would be appreciated for the capitalist capital it afforded whomever ultimately baked and decorated their big gay wedding cake. This sort of seems like a frivolous lawsuit that’s been taken WAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY too seriously (I mean, SCOTUS? Really?). We live in a capitalist economy. If someone doesn’t want to bake a cake for whomever walks through their door demanding those cakes we like, we’ll just go elsewhere. Why was it so important that this particular homophobic cake baker get this couple’s capitalist capital? They could have just trashed the homophobic cake baker on Yelp and called it a day. But now we’ve spent several years and untold amounts of taxpayer money and court time to determine, apparently, whether cake is equivalent to speech, when we’ve already determined that money is equivalent to speech.

      • David Chaillou

        The thing is, that’s acceptable for a cake but not for a house rental or a job application, or we’re back to segregation.
        My question is, is there a good general rule to tell us where to draw the line?

        • TakingAmes

          That’s a really good point. We also have to think about situations in which there is no other comparable service in the area, like small towns. I don’t know what the answer is, but the discussion is necessary.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            It makes me wonder why someone would buy a wedding cake from someone who was making it under duress. It’s food. You eat it. If the baker doesn’t like you, why would you trust that he didn’t stir the batter of your purty cake with his dick?

          • TakingAmes

            Also an excellent point.

          • SDGeoff3

            Trust me, she’s got a million of ’em!

          • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

            But that’s also not the point. The point is that the customers are entitled to sit at the lunch counter.

    • natoslug

      Nazis and Nazi fuckers are not protected classes. Unless they’re gay Nazis, in which case, the gay part would be protected. The Nazi part can still just fuck off.

      • David Chaillou

        Ok, that’s a simple rule.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Again, I think the difference is that you can refuse to bake cakes with offensive imagery or in the shape of sex organs or whatever else you may deem offensive as long as you refuse this service to ALL people. “No, I don’t make dick cakes” is okay. “No, I don’t make dick cakes for gay men, but I’m perfectly willing to make one for a bachelorette party” is not okay.

      • David Chaillou

        Good rule. Thanks.

      • Three Finger Salute

        So it’s not so much the message in terms of the wording, but the “message” in terms of the person/group your customer belongs to and is therefore representing.

        That means they don’t have to make a Black Lives Matter cake if they don’t want to, but they can make a Black Lives Don’t Matter one if they so choose? Like if it had a Hangman drawing and “Black Lives Don’t Matter” written in the blanks?

        Wow, this country is fucked up.

  • puredog

    Oh, so, “yr Wonkette is a classical pianist and a singer and a songwriter. . .And we are a really fabulous pianist.” Next, you’ll be claiming to be “a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being.” IS THERE NO END TO THIS EGREGIOUS SELF-PROMOTION?

    • phoenix00

      NO! Now send them money.

  • Michael Loraine

    Well, the “Masterpieceofshit Cakeshop” could easily be boycotted into oblivion. That would make me smile broadly.

    • Randall Stephens

      Not sure he should lose his livelihood. Maybe a bridge too far?

      • If he is so religiously delicate that baking a cake for gays causes him this much strife, I wonder how his livelihood hasn’t suffered already. Does he make his clients pass a sin quiz, to make sure he’s not helping to “celebrate” a non-gay form of debauchery (assuming such a thing exists)?

        • SDGeoff3

          Maybe he should go into scripture-themed fortune cookies. Oh, but then, we’d have the War Of The Holy Books!

        • Celtic_Gnome

          I tried a non-gay form of debauchery.

          It was fun.

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        Just as he is free to not bake cakes for random people he deems “unsuitable” for his delicate sensibility, the same people are absolutely free to respond by saying that they will not patronize a business run on hate.

      • He should pull hisself up by his bootstraps and find another jerb where it won’t be a problem. Or, you know, stop being such a stupid wanker.
        Either works for me.
        Everyone knows the christian bake thing is just a grift to try and upend the civil rights movement.

      • Won’t that scooch him closer to his coveted spot in the afterlife?
        Or he can always decorate cupcakes for local church bake sales after his dismal failure at turning a prophet.

  • Bebecca

    I was listening to the Stephanie Miller show this morning talking about this. Her guest hostesses pointed out that Sessions cares about gay bakers but not one tiny bit about police violence against African Americans. But we aren’t surprised coming from him.

    • stubbornirishlass

      Let us pause here and put in a plug for Frangela, who are the most awesomest.

      • Bebecca

        Yes I love them. And John Fuselgang. And Stephanie, I would go see a sexy liberal show. I’m in EST so I only get to listen to weekend reruns or if I have an errand or appointment in the am during the week.

        • Naytch

          The podcast is great for commuting and housework. Been a subscriber since 2007ish.
          Play catch up on weekends and night shifts… Just like here :)

  • covfefesumgame0005

    test

    • Serai 1

      toss

    • natoslug

      es.

    • RMKH

      Test failure. I did not see your non-comment.

      • covfefesumgame0005

        I would hope not seeing comments are not allowed here!

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Mom?

      • covfefesumgame0005

        just discus acting all Trumpy for a bit

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      I was told there wouldn’t be any tests

  • Three Finger Salute

    As nearly anyone from the South will tell you, producing barbecue can be a deeply expressive activity. […] Chefs may spend years developing their technique and experimenting with different kinds of sauces and cooking styles. A barbecue shack in rural Arkansas won a James Beard Award, roughly the equivalent of the Oscars for chefs.

    Wasn’t James Beard gay? If so, why didn’t the Arkansas grillmaster turn down the award because he didn’t want to endorse LGBTBBQ? ZOMGWTFROTFLOLMAOIOKIYAR.

  • sgt. jmk of the résistance

    Seems to me that since the cake does not exist until the askeered-to-catch-Teh-Ghey baker is commissioned to bake it, he’s not expressing his own artistic vision. He is expressing the vision of the person paying for the cake in advance, not himself.

    If he wants to express his own artistic vision, he can bake random, opposite-sexed cakes ahead of time and feature them in his store for purchase.

  • Randall Stephens

    Can someone give avery quick synopsis of the public accommodation law(s) in Colorado?

    • SDGeoff3

      Is this the test at the end of the article they told us about?

    • SDGeoff3

      That depends; what is your opinion of canned clams?

      • Jay Hansen

        Canned clams are the subject of a great deal of certainty. Canned clams are canned clams, and tautologies are tautologies.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      We were told that wouldn’t be on the test. Sorry, concern troll.

      • Randall Stephens

        Does that work for you often?

    • Who’s avery and does she lack the googles?

    • Who’s “avery” and is there duct tape and a cellar involved?

  • Zyxomma

    One of my besties is a brilliant guitarist, singer, and composer. Earlier in life, he played lots and lots of weddings. He and his bandmates made a game of getting into as many of the wedding photographs as possible. They imagined the happy couple later in life, showing off their old wedding album, trying to figure out who those gorgeous guys were.

    Elder sister had a wedding band featuring identical twin female singers. It’s a gig for money, not art, possibly with the exception of what my friend and his bandmates accomplished.

    ETA: My first name (spelled differently) is a name for both men and women.* What would the gay-bashing baker do if he had a confuze and thought the two names on my hypothetical (because I don’t even have a boyfriend) wedding cake were two men? What would he do when he found out he’d made a mistake?

    *In the original Welsh, there are two different meanings for said name, depending on whether it’s given to a male or a female. The spelling and pronunciation remain the same. Welsh is a strange language.

  • susan_g

    I took a look at the cake guy’s website and wondered how any gay person could want anything made by someone with such a kitschy, maudlin sense of style. Then I realized that I was stereotyping all gay people as having design sense (unless they wanted to use Jack’s services as some kind of hipster joke).

  • Hiam J Beaudry

    Works for hire are not personal artistic expression, they are works for hire. You are doing what you are told for money. You are much less an artist than you are a servant.

    This should NEVER have gotten cert.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      additionally, it’s not really about expression, but has to do with non-discrimination in offering a service to the public, no?
      The baker isn’t concerned about the message or content (Congratulations!), but the ceremony, etc.

  • Daniel Hooper

    Speaking as a creative type, it’s easy to avoid situations where someone may want to hire you. Just be upfront about what you’re willing to do beforehand. That way, you at least have something to back you up when someone asks you to do something you’re not comfortable with. If you’re afraid that it might hurt your business to say, “No Gay Stuff”, well, that’s your problem.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    i haven’t read the whole thing, but this sounds like a fantastically awful argument.

  • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

    Oh, for fuck’s sake. There’s nothing fucking “sacred” about the fucking “cake cutting ceremony.” It’s exactly as “sacred” as a ribbon-cutting ceremony at a new car dealership or bashing a pinata at a kid’s birthday party. It’s literally NOTHING to do with any sort of religious ceremony and is the very definition of a “cute custom.” The idea that this piece of shit wants to aggrandize himself somehow as “religious” –and purely so he can nastily discriminate and hate–is essentially blasphemous.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      that there’s jesus cake, dontcha kno?

    • HooverVilles

      Ding, ding, ding.

  • nightmoth

    Well, the baker may not be very creative, but the argument sure is. Sounds like fun times for the legal beagles who have to parse it.

  • There is a reason he brought up that specific case.
    The “religious right” would LOVE to reverse the civil rights act. Because why do we need to sell things to Joos or blackities or women not properly in their home space huh?????
    They use the gayity as a foot in the door, because zomg, GAY AGENDA but it is the full reversal of all civil rights they are after.
    Consider: If somehow they win this malarky, next is the landlord who “self decorated!” the apartment not renting to the mixed couple and the “So pious and Christian really” seamstress refusing services to (((those))) people. :/

  • Nephilim

    Sessions has signaled that the DoJ will not use its authority to investigate or reform local police departments, even in cases where gross negligence, or rampant civil rights violations may be occurring. But hey DoJ will be there for bakers.

    • They also won’t be going for civil rights cases unless they involve poor rich white kids who did not get into their first school of choice

      • HooverVilles

        And the poor get the take it or leave it, Hobson’s choice, that is public school or no school; you choose.
        Sorry Charlie

    • Not bakers – “Christian” bakers, only.
      I say we torture (metaphorically) Phillips until we get a confection out of him.

      • Jay Hansen

        ORWELLIAN Christian bakers.

  • Count Awesome

    The DoJ took this case because there are “good people on both sides”.

    • SeeTrain65

      Well, one, anyway.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    I can’t wait for DOJ to try this artistic expression bullshit with the pizza makers.

    “The dedication to learning to throw the dough, ensure that the final product is perfectly round, covered with a sauce that is, many times, the result of years of effort on the pizza maker’s part to produce a singular culinary event could be considered, in its own right, an artistic expression by the pizza maker.”

    • SeeTrain65

      You’ve never seen (or tasted) my barbecue chicken pizza. Michelangelo would be jealous. ; )

  • So, a cake baker with selfish delusions of gaining a spot in the imaginary “afterlife” is pitted against two human beings who simply wish to celebrate their love and their lives together, and he actually stands a chance of being favored by the Supreme Court – in USA – in the 21st century?
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3d82a994cb55c3519dc59e76f56f41a06796afae00900c54da2fe999d5ff1df1.jpg

  • Mavenmaven

    Gorsuch will argue that there were no gay wedding cakes in 1776 so they are forbidden.

  • The Librarian

    If the Cake Baker from Hell doesn’t want to serve the public, let him make cakes out of his own kitchen at home and sell them to only Christians. What? He can’t make money doing that? Jeez, this ass wants his cake and eat it too.

  • Molon Labe

    When I was a kid, part of being a homosexual was knowing how to make your own cakes….. Homosexuals today can barely feed themselves…..

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      what the ever loving fuck are you on about now?

      • Odd Jørgensen

        Moron Abe at it again?

      • Molon Labe

        Cakes, man… Or maybe, man-cakes. Whichever you choose.

    • sillyclucker

      When I was a kid, part of being a human was knowing how to make your own cake. People today can barely feed themselves. FIFY. Seriously, very few people today seem to know how cook and bake. FYI homosexuals are people.

    • The Flaming Carrot

      When I was a kid, at least in the sheltered, tree-lined suburb where I grew up, part of being a Republican was refraining from waving guns or yelling racist homophobic shit like a dickwad. Republicans today can barely wipe their own asses . . .

  • Lyly Sirivong

    What a load of bollocks. You can’t force an artist to create but over history, there have been lodas of artists who have created for people they don’t care for because they were commissioned.

  • YouHadResources

    Damn Siri!

  • AngelaHMejia

    my classmate’s aunt makes $64 an hour on the computer . She has been laid off for five months but last month her check was $12876 just working on the computer for a few hours. see here

    http://www.jobsstoreproductsplay

    ✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔::::da252

  • The Flaming Carrot

    I’ve got to part company with you on this. I don’t think Yr Wonkette should be compelled to perform Free Bird at asshole right wing heterosexual weddings. The real solution to this is Internet Mob Justice and boycotting, rather than bringing lawsuits.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      spoken like a “separate but equal” proponent back in the day.

      • The Flaming Carrot

        I see your point. I never thought of a bakery as a public accommodation, but apparently CO law considers it as such. The ACLU/CO web site has an excellent synopsis of this case. And the asshole baker deserved to be sued for breach of contract at the very least, since he promised to make the cake and subsequently backed out after finding out there were supposed to be two grooms on it or something. Interestingly, my LGBT teenager doesn’t think she would have sued. But we have the luxury of living in a large urban area, and there is a lot of competition.

      • The Flaming Carrot

        But also, in a very real sense, I want progressive business owners to be legally permitted turn down business from right-wing Christians, Nazis, and other regressives. And if states take a very broad view of the term “public accommodation,” we may not be able to do so.

    • Molon Labe

      When I was a kid we call it “capitalism” aka voting with your dollars. Here we have a couple who disagree with a baker’s social-political position but they want the government to force the baker to take their money.

  • Ankyloglossia

    This is a slippery slope. Although businesses should have the right to refuse service, should property owners be able to refuce to rent or sell based on ethnicity or color? Should Go Daddy be forced to hoast Nazis on their platform?
    Personally I wouldn’t want a religious holier-than-thou-bigot designing my wedding cake anyway.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      One the one hand I could understand if it was Angel’s food cake, but not even Devil’s food cake?

      lol just kidding.

  • handyhippie65

    and their point would be what? that they hate other americans? that religion as an excuse for being a dick is a viable one? this line of thinking makes the logic center of my brain hurt.

    • toughsister

      Since Day One, in the United States of Dumbfuckistan, to millions and millions, religion has been an excuse for being a dick.

  • When I need a dose of Solomon-like wisdom I always look to the cockshops…I’m sorry, cakeshops.

  • Mike Steele

    Lady MS here, tardy to the party (sorry). Was fascinated by this post, Evan, as poets gotta Poe, and I’ve been doing specialty compositions for birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, wakes, retirements, loss of pets…you name it…for years. Last year, a local hetero-mixologist, familiar with my work, phoned to say she’d been called upon to do the honors at the rehearsal dinner for a couple of lesbian friends. During our customary free consultation, she filled me in on all relevant, personal and quirkily obscure data about the couple. I submitted a draft for her approval; there were no edits. Asked her to let me know how it went. They laughed, they cried – just as I’d hoped, as my stuff is usually two parts snark to one part schmaltz. To service purveyors who choose to get choosy, this ‘old’ reminds them that the civil rights movement of the 60s served to open an entirely new cohort of customers who pay in long green. Feelin’ guilty? Bake the fucking cake, then put that money in the collection plate of your Christo-fascist church. Actually, that’ll remind the gayz to spend their money where it’s most appreciated. Just sayin’…

  • Papa Guns

    This just makes my heart warm. Finally, people will be required to follow the first amendment.
    Have a wonderful day! and remember to MAGA!

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