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If anyone knows who’s over-acting, it’s this guy.

Natural disasters often bring out the very best in people, like all the Boat Heroes in Texas, many of whom didn’t even need boats to be heroes. But then you get people like Sheriff Grady Judd, of Polk County, who let it be known on Twitter Wednesday that with Hurricane Irma on the way, he would not tolerate any evil-doers in county shelters. First he warned “sex offenders/predators” they wouldn’t be welcome, then anyone with an outstanding warrant, because if you were a nice law-abiding family headed for a shelter, would you want YOUR children bedded down near someone wanted for failure to appear for a parking lot fender-bender? YOU WOULD NOT!

One good thing about the interwebs: If a public official does or says something suitably stupid, people will often notice. Judd’s tweets went viral, and by Thursday he was getting a bit tetchy about the whole thing:

“Never before did I think that we’d be beat up for giving people a warning and keeping people safe,” he told local television crews. “But hey, that’s okay.”

Look, here is Sheriff Judd casually conflating “everyone with a warrant” with “sexual predators” for Tampa Bay’s Fox affiliate:

We like how he explains that he’s really just all about giving people information, not grandstanding like a Tough Guy Sheriff who hopes maybe he’ll be lauded for Gittin’ Tough On Crime. And he really can’t see the fuss, since he’s only concerned for everyone’s safety — even those scofflaws who might have a warrant out for their serial parking violations. You see, since he warned them Wednesday, crimers had a choice: They could get right with the Law, or go seek shelter somewhere else that doesn’t care if fugitives are among them.

A spokesperson for the Polk County Sheriff’s Office, Carrie Horstman, explained to the Orlando Sentinel it’s best for everyone with a warrant of any kind to turn themselves in, just to be on the safe side:

Horstman added officers don’t have a way of seeing what crime the warrant is for, so it’s possible those with non-violent misdemeanor offenses could be arrested.

“Officers are legally obligated to take a person into custody if they have a warrant,” she said.

Judd said in preparation for the hurricane, fugitives should turn themselves into the jail because “it’s a secure location.”

Horstman also emphasized, like her boss, that this is all about making the public feel safe, so they won’t worry about their little kids bedding down in a shelter where someone might be a sexual predator. At least one that’s got a warrant out. And if that means a few people with nonviolent offenses ride out the storm in a jail cell, well, so much the better: “We hope it actually leads to more people turning themselves in,” she said, apparently because she has very limited experience with actual human beings.

Still, there’s a pony of good news buried in all that horseshit: Horstman made it very clear the ID checks are for warrants only, and the deputies at shelters will not be looking at anyone’s immigration status. (Prepare for a tale of some idiot who stayed away from a shelter because they fear illegal immigrants more than a goddamn hurricane.)

The American Civil Liberties Union, always on the side of crimers, haters, sex fiends, and people who didn’t pay their fines for skipping out on a court date for failure to use a turn signal, was not pleased:

That seems awfully irresponsible of them, since anyone knows that most people with warrants out for their arrests are serial murderers and sex offenders, aren’t they? Let’s just say they are, so we can get reelected sheriff.

Sheriff Judd is actually a tad notorious for incidents in which he decided there might not be enough crime in his county, so he went out and created some, like the time in 2013-2014 he planned to arrest the parents of two girls he was sure had cyberbullied a teen girl into killing herself, although eventually all the charges were dropped in the case, and there was virtually no evidence of bullying at all.

A local TV news investigation also noted that Polk County was really doing well with asset forfeiture cases in which the sheriff’s office seized vehicles from men who turned out not actually to be sex offenders, although Sheriff Judd

repeatedly said men seeking children online was a problem in Central Florida, but provided few examples of actual children being approached.

In fact, the Justice Department complained that while Judd’s office received a lot of federal grant money for leading a Central Florida “Internet Crimes Against Children” (ICAC) task force, Polk County routinely took 20 to 30 days to follow up on tips, leading the DOJ to review the grants. The task force did a really crappy job of finding actual predators, although it tried real hard to entrap men who’d placed or responded to “Casual Encounters” personal ads on Craigslist. Here’s a f’rinstance (from another county, but remember, Polk County was the lead agency for the whole task force):

A 19-year-old man in Orange Co. was accused of soliciting the guardian of a 13-year-old decoy to arrange sex with her. But the evidence proved differently, as the man was merely responding to an innocuous ad from a 26-year-old woman, which was posted by law enforcement. The detective later tried to convince the man to have sex with the woman’s “younger sister,” even though he showed little interest.

According to notes from the prosecutor, “this is a tough case” because of “entrapment issues.” The man chatted with what he believed to be a 26-year-old woman for five days and the “Law Enforcement Officer suggest(ed) sex first on 2nd day.” The defendant said several times he wasn’t interested in the 13-year-old, even suggesting he bring a younger teenager boy for the girl when the detective kept bringing the teenager into the discussion. The prosecutor also noted the “law enforcement officer again suggests illegal sex 2 more times” but the defendant was non-committal.

Ultimately, after hundreds of text messages, the man agreed to sex with both females, and was arrested upon arrival. The state declined to prosecute, but the accusations and man’s name remain public record.

So, there’s your wave of sex crimes in Central Florida. While the task force didn’t catch any real sex crimers, it was awfully good at seizing the assets of men it entrapped:

[In] one January 2014 sting where the Clearwater Police Department (CPD) and Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office (PCSO) arrested 35 men in a single weekend, CPD seized 19 cars as their own under Florida’s Contraband Forfeiture Act.

So maybe Sheriff Judd has a couple of different motives here: He wants to keep the children of Polk County safe from imaginary sex crimers, and maybe — if one is terribly jaded and cynical — he’s looking to boost some “criminal” property belonging to all those dangerous traffic-ticket thugs. It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Please click the “Donate” linky so you can read safely! (Seriously guys, it’s payroll time.)

[Polk County Sheriff on Twitter / WaPo / Fox13 News / Orlando Sentinel / Techdirt / WTSP]

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  • WIDTAP

    “this is all about making the public feel safe, so they won’t worry about their little kids bedding down in a shelter where someone might be a sexual predator”

    …and now that the dear sheriff has rung that bell, I am sure it will be easily unrung in every parent’s head. Wonder how many children will die in Polk County out of their parents fear of the public shelters.

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
    • WIDTAP

      Hey, if you thought war is profitable, just imagine the fortune to be had by holding peace and good governance hostage.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Lockheed Martin on line 1….

    • Daniel

      I love how none of these people have any sense of ethics at all.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        If you have enough money, you don’t have to have ethics. #richpeoplefacts

  • FauxAntocles

    Florida man, better keep your head…

  • ManchuCandidate

    Oh a storm is threatening my life today.
    If I don’t get some shelter I’m gonna be blown away.

    Jail. Children. It’s just a Judd away. It’s just a Judd away.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Isn’t is also kinda dangerous for police to be transporting people to jail in the middle of a hurricane?

    • Rick Hill

      I’m certain if things go south and the jail floods then the first priority will be to care for the prisoners, right? Yeah, right.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        They get one straw to breathe through. Take turns.

        • Rick Hill

          They can just breath out of the toilets like in that one movie. Easy, right?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Here’s the keys to the paddy wagon. Please drive yourself to jail. I would drive you, but it’s dangerous out there.”
      — A Deputy

  • WeaselPoo

    Going by the demonstrably immutable Law of Projection, someone needs to have a look at Sheriff Judd’s browser history and downloads.

    • Shawn Renee Ernoehazy

      That was my first thought also. When I read the part about that lame “sting operation” that cemented it for me. He seems creepy to me, the way he talks and his affect don’t match somehow.

      • AngelaHMejia

        my classmate’s aunt makes $64 an hour on the computer . She has been laid off for five months but last month her check was $12876 just working on the computer for a few hours. see here

        http://www.jobsstoreproductsplay

        ✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔::::da252.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “When did Cat 5 become a bad thing?”
    — An Ethernet Cable installer

    • WIDTAP

      When Cat 6 became a real wiring standard.

      • WeaselPoo

        Beat me to it!

      • Rick Hill

        Ooh, nerd fight! Nerd fight!

      • Latverian Diplomat

        As an aside I was just reading an article about whether they should add a Category 6 to the Hurricane scale. Most experts say it’s not useful, but Category 5 already says “You’re totally fucked” so there’s no point in a category beyond that.

        The article may have put that a bit more eloquently.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          Oh, surely not. You’re plenty eloquent.

        • WIDTAP

          Nope. “You’re totally fucked” is more accurate than the article.

      • h4rr4r

        You forgot the A.

        Take your cheap unshielded shit out of here.

        • WIDTAP

          (takes my wholly shamed nerd credentials out of here)

    • WeaselPoo

      When it caused a coaxxident?

      • Latverian Diplomat

        I think there’s a twisted pair of words there…

        • WIDTAP

          I don’t care for this kind of cross-talk.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            Perhaps we can arrange for you to be shielded in some way?

          • Rick Hill

            Take your lickings, You can’t be insulated your whole life

        • WeaselPoo

          Or a multiplexer

        • theblackdog

          That will certainly bring the copper out

        • Opalescent Riddles

          You’re just punching down and should be terminated.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            I feel like this thread got jacked, somehow.

      • Rick Hill

        Just waiting to splice that into the conversation, right?

      • Skeptical_thinker

        Well, it was the result of a well grounded conversation.

    • h4rr4r

      When Cat6A came out.

    • Moar Wordz
      • Moar Wordz

        I got 1/2 the joke. ” Category 5.”
        Just not the part abt. the ethernet cables. Seemed off-topic.

    • aureolaborealis

      “Well, Cat 5 is better than Cat 6.”
      — A bicyclist

      • Van Buren

        That’s what I was thinking. Just add HC instead of CAT 6.

  • Persistent Demme

    SHAME ON YOU, JUDD!!
    SHAME ON YOU!!!

  • msanthropesmr

    Jeez. When did we start having contests to see who could be most awful?

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      9 November, 2016

    • jesterpunk

      When republicans started the “tough on crime” bullshit?

    • SpideySenser

      1994 – Newt Gringrich and his Contract with America.

      • Vincent Ricola

        Correct answer.

        • SpideySenser

          Well, at least in recent memory. Thanks!

      • SterWonk

        Seriously! I was a bit too young to really have paid attention at the time, but recently I’ve been reading a bunch of articles which end up tracing all sorts of terribleness in the GOP back to Newt.

        • SpideySenser

          DIng!DIng!DIng! We have a winner!

      • Eileen Besse

        “Contract ON America.”

        • SpideySenser

          Prepositions, how do they work?

    • WIDTAP

      Pretty much with the 3/5th Compromise.

    • eggs ackly-wright

      Since the Infamous Elevator Descent.

  • SomeBigRedDog

    Meh. I can’t take him seriously until he puts at least 5 more shiny buttons on his shirt.

  • Marion in Savannah

    OT, but Charlie Pierce has weighed in on the possible “coup” against Paul ZEGS Ryan. It’s a treat:

    http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/a12198201/paul-ryan-speaker-questions/

  • beingreleased

    I have a question (a real one, not my usual snarky shit): If you’re on parole, do you need to get permission from a parole officer before fleeing for your life? Parole usually comes with travel restrictions, right?

    • Wolf Tracker

      Yes they would and would need to notify where they are going to get it approved and in most cases can’t leave the state for extended periods.

      • WIDTAP

        If you have any family in Pensacola, now would be a good time to schedule a visit.

        • Wolf Tracker

          Most have family somewhere safe they would be allowed to travel to and return when the storm clears.

          Depends on the offense but most PO would approve that in this situation.

        • beingreleased

          Yesterday my son said: “Can we go to Disney World.” My wife and I said simultaneously: “Not this weekend.” (Actually, I think I managed to convince him to wait until 2019 when the Star Wars land is open.)

    • jesterpunk

      Yes, I am not sure how that works when they say GTFO though.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Every state is different, but I would expect a state like Florida to have a standing protocol along the lines of “do what you gotta do; call me when you get where you’re going.” That’s how Idaho, Washington, and Montana have handled rare cases of displacement or evacuation emergencies. I would expect Florida to be substantially more organized since evacuations are a more regular thing for them.

      • beingreleased

        ” I would expect Florida to be substantially more organized…”

        On the other hand, its Florida.

        • MrTusks

          Nah, when half of the population is on parole, you get pretty good at it.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      When you are on parole, you have to provide a plan of evacuation to your parole officer and that plan gets updated, usually yearly or if there is a change in the alternate residence.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
  • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude
    • spangled

      they better not let any blue men nevernudes into those shelters!

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        Come on man! They just want to get their rocks off.

  • Wolf Tracker

    ACLU says we will sue you Mr. Sheriff and your big bad department.

    He must be up for re-election.

  • Wild Cat

    OT: Ha! It’s only a matter of time before she’s quoting Chomsky and carrying Howard Zinn books around:

    What is wrong with this
    picture of the GOP?

     Opinion
    By Jennifer Rubin September 8 at 10:31 AM

    Let’s consider three recent developments that encapsulate what has happened of late to the GOP.
    First, three moderate Republican members of the House, all well-respected and seasoned legislators, have announced their
    retirements. Reps. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen (Fla.), Dave Reichert (Wash.) and Charlie Dent (Pa.) won’t be running for reelection in
    2018. Dent says:
    I have done my best to make a meaningful, positive impact. As a member of the governing wing of the
    Republican Party, I’ve worked to instill stability, certainty and predictability in Washington. I’ve fought to
    fulfill the basic functions of Government, like keeping the lights on and preventing default. Regrettably,
    that has not been easy given the disruptive outside influences that profit from increased polarization and
    ideological rigidity that leads to dysfunction, disorder and chaos.
    In other words, there is no place for a reasonable legislative craftsman.
    Second, Stephen K. Bannon, President Trump’s ex-chief strategist and leader of the so-called alt-right, attacks the Catholic
    Church for defending “dreamers” who have been protected by the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program. (You
    know, “You shall not oppress a stranger, since you yourselves know the feelings of a stranger, for you also were strangers in the
    land of Egypt …” Exodus 23:9.) He accuses the Catholic Church of defending innocent children brought here by their parents
    because “they need illegal aliens, they need illegal aliens to fill the churches.” He declares, “It’s obvious on the face of it.”
    Actually, what’s obvious is that this crowd’s claim to be defenders of the Judeo-Christian tradition is as phony as Trump’s
    foundation. With corrupt motives and disdain for those people who act according to a moral and/or religious tradition, they
    declare “winning” and wealth to be the means by which we judge our fellow man. This is now the spirit that animates the socalled
    values voters — the right-wing evangelical crowd that dominates the GOP. Instead of self-reliance, work ethic and
    concern for the most vulnerable, they preach the gospel of white grievance.
    And finally, Republican Ohio Gov. John Kasich goes on TV this week to explain how bizarre it is that it should take Congress
    six months to fix the DACA problem. “Congress has six months, it should take six hours to get this done, and the way I think
    they need to do it, they need reasonable Republicans and Democrats from the middle and build out a solution to this,” Kasich
    said on CBS. He added, “We’re putting kids, young people in jeopardy, this is not the America that we all love, this is a melting
    pot. If the dreamers want to go somewhere and live, come to Ohio, we want all the immigrants to come to Ohio, we know how
    much immigrants contribute.” Kasich is now considered an outlier (while Bannon reigns over the Trump base!), but of course
    he is right. If the Dream Act were placed on the floor of each house, it would pass overwhelmingly, but that cannot happen
    because the xenophobic contingent in the GOP wants either to extract onerous concessions or bury DACA in endless
    negotiations that never achieve immigration reform.
    In short, the sane grown-ups are leaving (or have already left) Congress. Republican governors such as Kasich, Charlie Baker
    of Massachusetts and Larry Hogan of Maryland, who push for sensible health-care fixes and a DACA solution, are treated as
    heretics. The inmates are running the prison (apologies to inmates), so even with GOP majorities in both houses and a GOP
    president, they cannot set the agenda. Republicans wind up acting as though they are back in the minority and allow
    Democrats to wield power. Meanwhile, the “constitutional conservatives” try to run interference for Trump on everything from
    emoluments violations to the Russia investigation.
    Trump’s party is convinced that climate change isn’t real but that massive, unproven voter fraud is. House Speaker Paul D.
    Ryan (R-Wis.) wants to talk about evidence-based policymaking. No, really. The party that makes up a crime wave, denies
    environmental science, lies about immigrants stealing jobs and murdering our children, and thinks trillions in tax cuts will pay
    for themselves wants evidence-based policymaking? The gall takes one’s breath away.
    The GOP is a party gone off the rails morally, intellectually and politically. Not conservative or even coherent, it relies on state
    TV (Fox News) and Russia bots to echo its nonsense. The question is not why people like Dent, Ros-Lehtinen and Reichert are
    leaving but why any reasonable adult would remain in the GOP.

    Jennifer Rubin writes the Right Turn blog for The Post, offering reported opinion from a conservative persp

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Bless her heart.

    • SayItWithWookies

      “The question is not why people like Dent, Ros-Lehtinen and Reichert are
      leaving but why any reasonable adult would remain in the GOP.”

      Would Ms. Rubin care to answer that question, seeing as she considers herself a reasonable adult and is a member of the GOP?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Well, she’s right, of course, but she’s about 8 1/2 years late. The time to try to fix the way the GOP was heading was when they started opposing Obama because he was black. Now it’s too late, and the GOP needs to join the Whigs and the Free Staters and all the other justifiably left-behind parties that fell out of step with reality.

      • Wild Cat

        Hi, GGY. Yup. She’s afraid. She’s Jewish. She never minded before when their rage was aimed elsewhere . . .

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          Hello, Wild Cat. ;)
          I wish all the people who are suddenly waking up to what their party has become would stand up as one and demand the impeachment. With all the saner voices shouting into the void and the crazies grabbing all the air time, where can all this possibly end?

    • MrTusks

      She’ll change her tune when that first Koch check comes in.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Hello? Central casting? We need someone to play some hick sheriff named Grady Judd. Beady eyes. Weak chin. You know, the usual.

  • Scooby

    Where’s Dennis Hastert going to stay?

  • elviouslyqueer

    “Never before did I think that we’d be beat up for giving people a warning and keeping people safe,” he told local television crews. “But hey, that’s okay.”

    Translation: “I’m shocked that y’all were offended by my being a total heartless asshole.”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ab53215e203ed165bd76e3995197e8295f4ae85c2704781ffa98b9ae3bc8d57a.jpg

    • Gayer Than Thou

      OMG, I want to gay marry you all over again for this pic. I suppose I have to, since I’ve upfisted you.

      • Lord Jim

        Get a room, you guys. XD

        • proudgrampa

          Really!

  • SayItWithWookies

    Here’s a little map of Polk County with the jails shown — for geographical context, Tampa is about twenty miles west. Notice anything that might deter someone from wanting to spend the duration of Irma in one of these so-called shelters?
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8df9e0dff37d8c2319d8d5d61f82cec5be076ab898999bea1e3e636e1b139aaa.png

    • specialcircumstances

      Is that club fed? I didn’t know it had so many swimming pools…

      • The Wanderer

        Coleman Federal Correctional Center is in Sumter County, about 50 miles NNW.

        • specialcircumstances

          Irma be like “same, same”

    • WIDTAP

      Alligator breeding grounds?

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Oh. My. God. I forgot about the alligators. It was a big deal in Houston when they thought the ‘gators in the local alligator sanctuary might get out. In Florida, they’re like cockroaches. They’ll end up taking over the Mar-a-Lago lobby.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Oh, I dunno. Whenever there’s something awful barreling toward me that is inescapable and likely to cause my death, I like to be locked into a tiny room with one open wall made of bars I can’t escape from, especially if the people who have the keys have evacuated to higher/safer ground.

    • The Wanderer

      Yeah, looks bad. Let’s shed a bit of light. The locations described as “Polk County Sheriff’s Office” are district offices, which have zero housing for inmates. The original “Polk County Jail” was shut down in 2000 because it was too small and completely obsolete. The “Central County Jail” exists, as does the “South County Jail” (not shown) down near the thriving metropolis of Frostproof.

      The “Polk Correctional Institution” is a state prison, run by Florida, not Polk County, and therefore not under Judd’s supervision.

  • Vincent Ricola

    Polk County, FL is leading the fight against sex crimes in America? I didn’t realize because I’ve never seen their representation at any “take back the night” rallies or read any of their opinion pieces on the lack of real justice for campus rape victims.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Couldn’t resist:

    On Wednesday, Ivanka Trump sort of casually stopped by a meeting full of Congressional leaders and just so happened to end up talking about one of her pet projects, child care tax credit. Moves like the “Ivanka drop by” have earned the clothing designer a pet name: Princess Royal.

    https://www.metro.us/president-trump/ivanka-trump-white-house-nickname

    • jesterpunk

      Correct me if I am wrong but wouldn’t her plan really only help rich people?

      • Latverian Diplomat

        I don’t know the details, but generally “tax credits” do favor people with higher incomes.

        • jesterpunk

          Ahh yeah it will.

          http://money.cnn.com/2017/02/28/news/economy/donald-trump-child-care/index.html

          But an analysis by the Tax Policy Center finds that Trump’s proposal is a gift to the rich. The tax experts at TPC say 70% of the benefits will go to families that make $100,000 or more. And 25% will go to people earning $200,000 or more.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          I’m gonna bet the details will only favor people with extremely higher incomes. Trump level or higher. And don’t actually audit whether Trump level wealth actually constitutes wealth.

    • Skeptical_thinker

      Moves like the “Ivanka drop by” have earned the design thief a pet name: Princess Royal.

      IFYPFY

  • susan_g

    What’s with all those little gold stars on his lapels? Does that mean that he’s a four star general sheriff? This guy and Joe Clarke don’t seem to comprehend the “uniform” concept. Even TGI Fridays stopped wearing flair.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “These darn lapels just won’t stay down otherwise.”

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Those are banks of electronic jammers. You know, to thwart the microwaves.

  • chazmanr

    Child predators are the scum on scum, but me thinks the Sheriff protesteth too much. Does he happen to be associated with a pizzeria?

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Only pizzerias without basements.

      • Querolous

        Never been there but are there any basements in Florida? Isn’t the water table pretty high even at the best of times?

  • Angela Ruzzo

    This made me think of a nice lady I worked with – 62, plump, short, white-haired, great-grandmother, devout Christian, superb chocolate-chip-cookie-baker – who was followed to work by a local cop who scanned her car plates, and arrested in the office and hauled off to jail because there was a warrant in her name for bouncing numerous checks. However, another woman, age 34, redhead, skinny, long criminal record, from a different county, apparently had the same name and had somehow obtained my coworker’s SS# and Driver’s License # and stolen her identity. Arresting cop only had to look at the description of the real criminal to know he had the wrong person, but he ignored that. Our corporate attorney rushed to the jail and got my coworker released. Imagine if someone like my coworker turns up at a hurricane shelter and the same thing happened?

    • OutOfOrbit

      also too: “Papers please.”

    • theblackdog

      How awful for your co-worker!

      • Angela Ruzzo

        It was! The cop followed her for a mile, and could have arrested her in the parking lot, but he deliberately chose to follow her inside the building and arrest and handcuff her in front of all her coworkers, which was humiliating for her. However, this backfired on the cop because it alerted us and we got the corporate attorney on to it in a jiffy. He is a great guy, and I don’t say that about corporate attorneys very often.

        • theblackdog

          I’m hoping the story ends with the cop being reassigned to desk work only but that probably didn’t happen.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Don’t know. What I do know is that as soon as our V.P. for Legal Affairs showed up at the County Jail, they bent over backwards to lick their asses and get the problem fixed ASAP. Our company was a major donor to local non-profits, our CEO was on the board of the local United Way and well-known in local power circles, including the most prestigious local golf club, where the Sheriff also golfed. The “Old Boy” network does sometimes have its advantages. What happened to the cop I do not know, but what he did is “standard procedure” so probably nothing.

    • WIDTAP

      Your 62-year old friend probably has to deal with such a situation all over again, what with Equifax shiiting all over her and half of the US population.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I just now signed up for their free account protection, and in response was told to check back on 9/15/17 to complete the application. That’s a week away … a lot can happen in a week. Another message said “Your account info is not in danger” but I bet they say that to everyone.

        • WIDTAP

          Just be aware that when you actually sign up for Equifax’s TrustID service, you are signing away your right to sue Equifax for any damages associated with their mishandling of your Personal Credit Information (PCI). It’s part of their Terms of Service, which no one reads.

          CNET has a very good article on how you can protect your credit history today by freezing your credit record, without having to sign up for Equifax’s promotional offer.
          https://www.cnet.com/how-to/how-to-survive-the-equifax-data-breach-2017/

          • Angela Ruzzo

            You are correct. I had already frozen my credit record several years ago. But I was curious to see what they were offering now. I don’t have to follow up on 9/15 if I don’t want to, and I probably won’t. I don’t worry about my credit score – 2 days after Hurricane Katrina everyone whose address was in the flood zone saw their credit score drop 100 points, for no reason whatsoever. After that I decided Fuck ‘Em, and I stopped using credit cards.

          • WIDTAP

            I’m with you. Credit is fine for large purchases, like buying a home or a car. For day-to-day, it is much easier to use my bank debit card. Fuck the idiots who wrote algorithms that say living within you own budget is less worthy than revolving debts.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            My parents paid cash for everything, including cars. My father never had a credit card, my mother only had an Amex, which she used when we traveled, and we traveled a lot. All my aunts and uncles lived this way, having grown up during the Great Depression and not trusting corporate financial institutions. It worked for them, so I followed their lead. I haven’t had a car payment in 35 years, all I have is a mortgage and an Amex card and a debit card. Mortgage will be paid off in 9 months, Halleluja! and I wouldn’t have the mortgage if it wasn’t for Hurricane Katrina, may she rot. I’ve got a 13-yr-old car with peeling paint, but I ain’t taking on a $300/mo car payment, no thank you. She ought to last another 150,000 miles if I take care of her, and I do.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Daily Caller to proclaim the arresting cop is the real victim here in 5…4…3…

      https://wonkette.com/622519/nobodys-defending-asshole-nurse-assaulting-utah-cop-except-assholes-at-daily-caller

  • Latverian Diplomat

    It’s times like that this that keeping that “Get Out of Jail Free” card in your wallet really pays off.

  • nightmoth

    Mother of all storms coming, mass evacuations, and this guy’s mind automatically turns to child sex perverts? Hmmmmm.

    • Wolf Tracker

      It’s an election issue for sheriffs. My guess is he is up for re-election

      • arglebargle

        My guess is he is up for re-erection

      • Opalescent Riddles

        I’m thinking that his thinking of perverts gives him a big election,.

    • OutOfOrbit

      hey, he likes them! ergo the friendly warning to “avoid these traps”

    • I know, right???

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Someone needs to check his computer.

  • icekat

    Y’know, if a writer for a TV series created an ignorant, bullying sheriff named “Grady Judd,” they’d be accused of stereotyping.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    What is it with Sheriffs and the FOUR fucking stars on their shirt collars!? Fucking little-dicked glitter princesses… Gary Cooper only needed one star…and he carried a fucking big stick…

  • BigCSouthside

    I wonder if there is something about the job of Sheriff that attracts total cocksuckers

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Authoritarian personality dream job.

    • Skeptical_thinker

      IME, small minded people in a position of minor power tend to abuse what little power they have.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    When Irma sends people to shelters, she’s not sending the best. She’s not sending you. She’s not sending you. She’s sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Man, that’s harsh. ;-)

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Precedential thoughts…

    • SayItWithWookies

      Well — two outta three ain’t bad.

  • SeeTrain65

    “Excuse me, Doktor Zoom, if that is your real name, but in your GIF (and it’s pronounced JIF, BTW, … duh) at the top of the page, you’re showing Captain James Tiberius Kirk, a Star Trek character, but the lettering on the meme is clearly from Battlestar: Galactica. I hope you can rectify this clear and very embarrassing error.”

    Sorry. Just my little snippy shot to the people I’ve encountered the past couple days for whom snark is a concept slightly above their pay grade. (Yes, we know Fry and Bender are from Futurama, and that Al Gore did NOT invent the internet! Try to keep up.)

    • mardam422

      “and it’s pronounced JIF, BTW, … duh)”
      You certainly are a choosy mother.

      • SeeTrain65

        Gave the performance just a bit more of an … oh, how to put it … ASSHOLE quality, didn’t it?

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      “GIF” or GTFO!

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    In a storm shelter, I draw the line at Romulans.

    And the French.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    While Glitter Princess Sheriff Judd is at it, he really ought to deny rescues of anyone without proper ID to prove they have no warrants… A shelter is just a pre-rescue…

  • calliecallie

    This guy seems awfully focused on child sex predators. Projection, perhaps?

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      My sentiments exactly.

    • bupkus231

      I guess Polk County is on the SW fringe of the Orlando TV market, but in the two years I’ve been down here, their TV news programs in general seem awfully focused on child sex predators – I always assigned that to “sensationalism”, but maybe it’s something of a thing with the Central Florida populace ( not so much the existence or prevalence of it, just the unhealthy fascination with any potential instance of it ).

  • Panika MCD

    supposing Central Florida does have a problem with sexual predators (yeah, I know they don’t really, but go with me down this rabbit hole for a minute) and take for granted that the LEOs can’t look up what offense a warrant is for–doesn’t that mean that your teenager with a lead foot might end up being put in a cell with a sex offender? how is that good on crime?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I had a reply but it made me too sick to type it out. Let’s go with, perhaps Mr. Sheriff Four Stars hasn’t quite thought this all the way through.

    • Lord Jim

      The sex offender bit is just to stir up moral panic. Aside from the fact that sex offenders have a quite low recidivism rate, more than a few folks wind up as “sex offenders” from doing stuff like getting drunk at the HS football game and going to take a leak in the parking lot.

      • Panika MCD

        I know, but he could be putting little Billy who has a Mustang and likes to speed, but has a B+ average and is point guard on the basketball team in the same cell as Crazy Uncle Joe who likes to take kids under the slide at the playground and play doctor.

        in short: I am better at the “moral panic” game than this fuckin’ sheriff.

  • proudgrampa

    Why is it, put a badge on someone and he becomes a flaming asshole?

    • Wolf Tracker

      Not all sheriffs are assholes. I went to school with the sheriff we have here and he favors locals and isn’t arrest happy. He is more likely to drive a drunk home than arrest them and will take teens that break a minor law home and let their Dads and Moms deal with it.

      • Lord Jim

        My maternal grandfather was a local police chief who was like that.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      True. You did not want to be around me after I got my Cub Scout knot tying badge.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      I think it’s probably more like assholes seeking to put on badges so they can be govt sanctioned assholes with authorateh.

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    Florida man… aah fuck it

  • theblackdog

    I’m sure Trump will pardon him for being an asshole a week after he holds a huge rally there right after Irma.

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    Apparently (again) when they mooch off big gubmint it’s a-ok.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Polk County! The craziest stories all come from Polk County. The craziest criminals and the craziest LE (aka the craziest other criminals) all come from Polk County.

    • weejee

      Psych profiles indistinguishable?

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Polk has the most bestest Florida Men!

  • weejee

    Conflating the confusion produces a large, hurricane-like sucking sound.

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    But, good to know there is a nice deep bench now that Clarke and Arpaio are gone.

    • gallbladder

      I was beginning to worry.

  • Raan
    • WIDTAP

      NE side of the line will get the worst of it. Mickey is fucked.

      • Raan

        Unless it continues moving west, in which case we may be moving to Missouri for an undetermined period.

        • WIDTAP

          Stay safe, in any case.

          • Raan

            We’ll try.

    • jowgajen

      Florida was great while we had it.

      • ariel_gee_398

        How long until someone photoshops the name Irma on Bugs Bunny’s saw?

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        The crazy uncle of the United States.

      • MrTusks

        …Was it?

    • The Wanderer

      Shit.

    • SayItWithWookies

      And the thing about Tennessee and Kentucky and locations in the heart of Appalachia is that when they get heavy rains, all those valleys flood. Every town on bottomland better be preparing for the worst right now.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Yes, we’re bracing for a ton of rain next week. Slightly OT but in line with your comment, did you know there are no natural lakes in Kentucky? They’re all man-made, created by the damming of the valleys and deliberate flooding. If you could dive deeply enough in Lake Cumberland you could visit the houses and other buildings still more than 100 feet under the water.

        • Lord Jim

          When she was a child, my mom lived in a part of Old Kuttawa that is now underwater. Because the ACE thought the best way to solve the frequent flooding problem was to flood it permanently.

          I live close to the “dwntown” area (which could be tucked in the corner of a small suburb) – apparently the state installed some new drainpipes along the main drag. Except they used pipes of too small a diameter. So a few months back, we had a big rain that caused flooding which really impacted a local parts store. Destroyed their delivery vehicle and a lot of their stock. We once saw some severe flooding outside my house a while back. The street turned into the fucking Colorado River. The water and street depts have done some work since then, so…we’ll see.

        • SayItWithWookies

          And I think there are lakes like that in Tennessee as well — some are kinda dangerous to swim in because of branches and other debris not too far from the surface.

          Along the lines of what happened with the reservoirs in Houston, maybe some of those dammed lakes should think about releasing water now, so they can accommodate the deluge that’s on the way.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        It would be fucking shame if that stupid Ark Park in KY got washed away.

        • Nockular cavity

          I would go to church forever if that happened. Well played, Yaweh!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Fuckin’ hell, it’s going to hit my condo.

      Whoop, took a closer look, maybe not.

  • jesterpunk

    FYI Dok, cleanup is needed in the Tomi Lahren thread. Lots of stupid trolls over there.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      No kidding. How’s that gov money and trolling working out for you?

      • jesterpunk

        I need to find out who to talk to about a raise.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          IK, R?

    • C4TWOMAN

      ORLY?
      *wanders over to peek*

      • jesterpunk

        They are not even high quality trolls.

    • SomeBigRedDog

      They seem stupider than usual. Makes me miss the witticisms of TLM.

      • C4TWOMAN

        That’s pretty stupid.

    • SeeTrain65

      Great. Now I have to clean out my block list to make room for the new ones.

  • mardam422

    Florida is about to get a category 4 gauge catheter right up its peehole.

  • anon_the_great

    ‘sworn LEOs’ could include whatever Reserve rando or Cadet manning the front door of a shelter. Remember that Texas reserve officer who bought himself a commission then did manslaughter?

    • The Wanderer

      In Polk, reserve deputies are retired deputies who have kept their state certification and training up to date.

    • BrianW

      I think that was Oklahoma.

  • Sophia

    OT but someone needs to get Mother Nature back on her meds please:

    Hurricanes Jose and Katia are getting stronger

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/09/hurricanes-jose-and-katia-are-getting-stronger/

    • gallbladder

      Nonsense: It’s all just a liberal hoax.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        The George Soros Weather Control Project finally paid off.

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          So that’s where my SorosBux™ went!

        • C4TWOMAN

          HAARP! AREA 51! Bigfoot!

      • C4TWOMAN

        On that note, I heard Rush has already evacuated. Haven’t had time to check tho.

        • Eileen Besse

          Yep, he’s gonna be in an undisclosed location. Seriously.

          • C4TWOMAN

            What? Does he think the hurricanes are in on the conspiracy?

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I thought it was a Chinese hoax.

        • grageo

          A Liberal Chinese hoax

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      “Another HUGE storm on my watch. No one in White House knows why storms are getting worse. Defund Planned Parenthood!” #DeletedTrumpTweets

    • jesterpunk

      ‘I have the biggest storms dont I folks? No one has bigger storms then I do.”

      Trump

    • BigCSouthside

      Jose is supposed to spin off into the Atlantic.

      Katia’s is just kinda parked there feeding off warm Gulf waters. Kinda weird

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        “Feed me, Seymour!”

    • Dudleydidwrong

      It’s all just a Chinese plot to get us to eat at their restaurants. The Chinese for this is “shelter in place–and China Garden is the place.”

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “Do you WonTon some shelter? Think of us as your Mein place to lay Lo.”

        • therblig

          bring the family and make chow fun!

        • Dudleydidwrong

          Obviously you are quoting that great Chinese-German restauranteur and gourmet coook Ho Lee Schmitt.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Republicans: Climate change is a hoax!
      Mother Nature: Hold my beer. . .

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))
  • JohnBull

    “…repeatedly said men seeking children online was a problem in Central Florida.”
    No, coastal Florida, where a prominent radio talk show host lives, to be specific.

  • jesuswasablack

    “Sworn LEO’s”

    I find that phase curious? Was that the oath they took to the state or the one they took to the racist oath keepers? Hard to tell anymore the KKK has infiltrated much of this countries law enforcement.

    http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/news/a55695/white-supremacist-law-enforcement/

    • The Wanderer

      There are two general types. “Sworn” are the ones you see on the road. “Certified” are usually working in the jail. I am what’s called “Dual Certified,” meaning that I can work in either milieu.

  • Wolf Tracker

    OT: Coffee and chocolate pie for breakfast

    Hey it was calling to me. Started as a low whisper from the fridge and became a loud “EAT ME!”

    OK, I will exercise later. No I won’t and you can’t make me.

    • The Wanderer

      Sounds better than what I had.

    • proudgrampa

      I’m jealous.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Shit shit shit ( accidental reference to THAT chocolate pie) I’ve lost 30 lbs and was stuck on a plateau the entire month of August. I want September to be the month when I move past that magic number so I’m cutting back a little more. Pie is sounding too good. Maybe I’ll get chocolate coffee creamer.

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    A movie way ahead of its time and yet presaging Apollo 13 soon after. Great book, great movie. This is how you launch a spacecraft in the eye of a hurricane.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yD1hbplN4DE

    • Latverian Diplomat

      The Russkies help save the day. Daring!

    • therblig

      i remember reading it as a kid. it wasn’t until years later in grad school, studying cost/benefit analysis that the section on how many accidental deaths/injuries they might expect from an accelerated build/launch effort made sense to me.

  • TundraGrifter

    There’s no room in this Sheriff’s closet for clothes, as he appears to live in it himself.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Every generation or so, a hurricane comes to flush out all the child predators. That’s when we nab ’em! The rest of the time, we don’t do nothing. It’s a waiting game.”

  • Scooby

    BTW, why is it one cold day dispoves climate change but 3 hurricanes in a week doesn’t mean anything?

    • jesterpunk

      Conservative logic?

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Now, there’s an oxymoran!

        • jesterpunk

          Well yeah Rush did say hurricanes are a liberal plot with Al Gore, water and battery companies. He is a big Oxy Moron.

          • george lastrapes

            He’ll seek refuge at Viagra Falls.

          • NotDarkYet

            He’s an Oxy Contin.

          • jesterpunk

            He is something.

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          I thought an oxymorans were people Newt Gingrich or Alex Jones?

          • NotDarkYet

            And we also have Oxycontins, like Rush.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Extreme cognitive filtering at work.

    • gallbladder

      Easy answers/excuses are a strong suit of Trumpians.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        and blame, also too. Canna ferget blamagez!!!!

        • george lastrapes

          Blancmanges? Help us out, M. Chaillou!

      • Roadstergal

        Because OBAMA, that’s why!!

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Because one cold day does not affect the value of their stock portfolio.

    • Sister Suffragette

      IOKIYAH?

    • WIDTAP

      Because “it makes libs cry” – the GOP excuse for every evil, unreasonable and deplorable thing they ever say or do.

      • Scooby

        Or heads explode.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Slow News Day Until the Donnie Dump™ Later This Evening, So ….

    Young girl flips off Infowars interviewer, instantly becomes a Twitter favorite

    • cheetojeebus

      I’ve watched this like 5 times. It’s a perfect bit of video. perfect. two thumbs way up!

    • Nockular cavity

      We are all that girl.

      • H0mer0

        They shame us for our language while their violence is far worse. We did he call her a young man anyway? She had long hair. If he had doubt, he coulda just said hello.

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    Fucking great! Scumbag Sheriff Clarke resigns and lo, and behold, another asshole sheriff pops up.

    This Whack-a-Mole game sucks!

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Well I can’t wait for the lawsuit when it turns out the jail was inadequate to protect inmates – who had been encouraged to go there – from the storm.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “In retrospect, the ball and chain system was incompatible with inmate survival. No one could have foreseen this.”

      • therblig

        “in the future, we will employ longer chains, depending on the expected storm surge”

    • Wolf Tracker

      Might actually work against the sheriff when thousands of people with a minor warrant demand shelter in a jail.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        It’s true. Florida Man often has a warrant out against him.

        • Wolf Tracker

          Forgot to pay a parking ticket. Warrant.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            Tried to rob drive thru with alligator…warrant?

          • Nockular cavity

            “Ah didn’t do it, it was the gator’s idea!”

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      My thought exactly. If I have a warrant for unpaid tickets, I’ll take my chances out there before I will locked up in a jail cell. After all, LEOS like Sheriff Bubba are well known for the concern they show for the welfare of jail inmates.
      If they run off and leave you to drown, that might cause a minor scandal and a big settlement for your family, but, you’ll still be dead.

    • OutOfOrbit

      next week’s news: “–left locked in their cells ‘to protect the public’, X# inmates, most awaiting trial for minor offenses such as parking tickets, drowned over the weekend…”

  • therblig

    i’m beginning to think that police departments are no longer “your town’s finest”

    • OutOfOrbit

      “no longer”?! when have they ever been?

      • Angela Ruzzo

        When I was a little girl 60 years ago, living in a small Midwestern town, they really were nice, and helpful, and seemingly well-informed. But only when dealing with the white residents.

        • OutOfOrbit

          eggsackly & btw, i have tried and failed to imagine how terrible life is for PoC every time a “officer of the law” appears. living in constant fear at home, in your own hood or beyond, never knowing when … … oh fuck, i just can’t

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I can. I have moved around a lot, including other countries, including big cities and small ones, and being female and single I had to keep a constant eye out for male predators. I think that is somewhat similar to what PoC experience, but it’s slightly different. The difference is that the male predators present themselves with smiling faces, but their level of violence is exactly the same. There was this guy in Spain in 1976 … I should be dead in a ditch … but I’m not, because I was so dumb and naive at age 19 that he didn’t expect my reaction, so I walked away. I volunteered at a woman’s shelter for 8 years, I could tell you stories . . .

    • Wolf Tracker

      It is in the POST training manual to find people that were bullies with a low IQ.

      Seriously!

  • SpideySenser

    Remember when the Evangelistas blamed Katrina, Haitian independence and all kinds of other weather related stuff on immoral populations and their god was into smiting?
    Sooooo, what’s their story now?

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      “The Devil made me do it!”

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      God is testing your faith and resilience

      • H0mer0

        aaaand finds our lack thereof disturbing.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      God is punishing the South for removing Confederate statues.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Oh for God’s sake, don’t go broadcasting that nasty notion!

    • jesterpunk

      God is really late with his smiting?

    • Angela Ruzzo

      My story is that god is nearsighted and has astigmatism, because he keeps smiting the wrong people. God should get LASIK. When I was a girl a popular expression was “Close only counts in horseshoes” to which I added a corollary, making it “Close only counts in horsehoes and nuclear bombs.” I have now upgraded that to “Close only counts in horsehoes, nuclear bombs and hurricanes.” God needs better maps.

      • Reddishrabbit

        Proof that God is a man. He never asks for directions.

        I’ll show myself out.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          You got that right! Younger men (under 30) seem to be reversing this ancient tradition, but only because they can look things up on their Smart Phones or GPS devices.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      God’s accuracy is overrated. He only bowls a 230, tops.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Osteen is already on the case. Those who survived are blessed by the Lord. Those who didn’t Well, they aren’t exactly writing checks to Joel Osteen, now are they?

  • cheetojeebus

    This clever semi sentient cat turd has morphed the bullshit bathroom fear gambit to the hurricane shelter scare. I say he deserves a XL bag of salted rat dicks.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      You can make salts out of arsenic. Just saying.

      • H0mer0

        Apparently the domestic rice production has issues with arsenic salts in the soil being absorbed into the grain. I’m not sure if it provides adequate levels to treat syphilis or malaria but just a thought.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Nice to know that in times of emergency our police force’s first concern is checking your identification. I really hate what our country has become under the reich wing. Republican’ts spend too much time trying to prove everyone is as horrible as they are when the should be trying to be as good as progressives wish they were.

    • MrTusks

      Anyone carrying a gun is excused from producing ID. Obviously, they are the most responsible people here.

      • H0mer0

        [unless blah]

  • jesterpunk

    OT but if you check Equifax’s website to find if your a victim you might not be able to sue them for anything that happens.

    https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2017/09/are-you-an-equifax-breach-victim-you-must-give-up-right-to-sue-to-find-out/

    But if you want to find out if your data might have been exposed, you have to waive your right to sue the Atlanta-based company. We’re not making this up. The company has now published a website allowing consumers to input their last six digits of their Social Security numbers to find out.

    AGREEMENT TO RESOLVE ALL DISPUTES BY BINDING INDIVIDUAL ARBITRATION. PLEASE READ THIS ENTIRE SECTION CAREFULLY BECAUSE IT AFFECTS YOUR LEGAL RIGHTS BY REQUIRING ARBITRATION OF DISPUTES (EXCEPT AS SET FORTH BELOW) AND A WAIVER OF THE ABILITY TO BRING OR PARTICIPATE IN A CLASS ACTION, CLASS ARBITRATION, OR OTHER REPRESENTATIVE ACTION. ARBITRATION PROVIDES A QUICK AND COST EFFECTIVE MECHANISM FOR RESOLVING DISPUTES, BUT YOU SHOULD BE AWARE THAT IT ALSO LIMITS YOUR RIGHTS TO DISCOVERY AND APPEAL.

  • Ricky Gay

    Methinks Judd would have caved after 1, maybe 2 emails.

  • A fairly common practice in rural America is for the local sheriff’s department to hold a fake raffle or fake job fair or something. They then send everyone with a outstanding warrant an invitation.

    So the poor rubes show up grinning ear to ear, often with family in tow and are promptly arrested. The sheriff offices often have a jolly show of it, with deputies in costumes play actin’ like they are lottery workers, potential employers. The fun usually involves sending the person through the PRIZE DOOR where they are immediately surrounded and thrown to the ground, usually with the family watching! Fun times!

    They film the whole thing to show on the local news so everybody gets a good laugh at the humiliated person and their spouses and kids, too!

    • NastyBossetti

      Seriously?

      • Skeptical_thinker

        I have seen news reports of similar involving “cash awards”, “NFL game tickets”, “free cruises” etc. Many people with outstanding warrants are not too bright.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          That’s a legitimate LE strategy, taking advantage of the natural greed of crooks. (Of course, they have to do the homework to make sure that the outstanding warrants are valid.)

          Targeting people at shelters escaping from natural disasters is a whole ‘nother thing.

          And since Polk County is the state center of all criminality, especially of the LE variety, well, forget it Jake. It’s Polk County.

          • Skeptical_thinker

            Upfist for Chinatown reference.

      • Bitter Scribe

        See the movie “Bernie,” based on a true story.

        • NastyBossetti

          Actually, I did see that movie when it came out. I don’t remember it well enough, obviously.

          • Bitter Scribe

            Matthew McConnaghey(sp?), who is Richard Linklaeter’s(sp?) go-to Texas Asshole, played the guy who prosecuted Bernie. He ginned up one of those phony contests. In his case it was one of those last-person-with-his-hands-on-the-car-wins contests, enabling the cops to pick off the guys with warrants one by one.

          • NastyBossetti

            Oh yeah. That sounds familiar.

        • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

          also, the simpsons have an episode like this.

  • Fartknocker

    I’ll repeat myself: A minority of police officers are nothing more than high school gym teachers who failed as gym teachers but were selected for a job where they are legally authorized to use deadly force.

    • Swampgas_Man

      I’d be alright with those odds, if you didn’t add in the vast majority of “Good Cops” too afraid of retaliation to narc on the Bad Cops.

  • Bitter Scribe

    But if they have a warrant they BROKE THE LAW! ILLEGALLY, with ILLEGALITY! So they deserve to go to jail along with all the other LAWBREAKERS! What about respect for the LAWFUL, LEGAL LAWS, huh? And why does my computer keep going into Caps Lock mode whenever I type a word with LAW or LEGAL in it?

    • Bad Tom

      CAPS LOCK IS THE LAW.
      THAT IS ALL.

      • george lastrapes

        Caps lock laps cock. Oughta be a law against it.

        • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

          I am def stealing “caps lock laps cock”.

          • george lastrapes

            But you gotsta take ‘Strumpet’ and ‘PeeResident’ too. My memeventions for the Prez’ new name.

      • george lastrapes

        Caps lock annoyance syndrome (CLAS) is proof of synesthesia. Otherwise, how could a mere visual cue seem so LOUD?

        • Bad Tom

          I CAN TASTE THE BLUE IN YOUR REPLY.

          • george lastrapes

            That’s music to my ears.
            And remember, the sincerest form of flattery is upvotation.

          • Jack McKenzie

            your comment just smells vapid and fetid.

          • Bad Tom

            I SUGGEST YOU CHANGE YOUR SOCKS.

    • BigJimSlade

      I’ll never understand the humor coming from the pro-sex-offender crowd.
      Maybe if you all protest enough, the male sex offenders can use the girl’s bathrooms, too?

      • Jack McKenzie

        pro justice is not pro sex offender, you boob.

  • Internet Hitler

    Coming this Fall on NBC – CSI: POLK COUNTY
    Each week, Sheriff Judd (Judd Nelson) and his crack CSI team catch dangerous criminals… by waiting for a disaster and then hanging out at a shelter!
    Judd: Looks like somebody’s a… dang windy killer guy.

  • Msgr_MΩment
    • Bitter Scribe

      Maybe that was short for “lottery players,” which I actually favor because it would improve the gene pool. OTOH, the states with lotteries would lose a lot of revenue.

      Man, public policy is hard.

      • Reddishrabbit

        That would solve my retirement issues!

    • I remember after Andrew these LOOTERS WILL BE SHOT!!! signs were everywhere. Of course, Andrew was so efficient in scouring everything south of Miami to Florida City to the bare ground – there was really nothing much to “loot” other than some sad, wet, shredded shit.

      • george lastrapes

        Looters black, foragers white.

    • george lastrapes

      Some real Americans need to enrol in English as a Second Language classes.

    • george lastrapes

      Now we know they are anti-Semantics!

    • Dinz6315

      Spelers to.

      • george lastrapes

        Every typo means the errorists win.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Man, these assholes luuuurves them some warrants. Remember when Republican ratfuckers would distribute flyers in black neighborhoods with some variation of “Remember to settle all outstanding warrants before you go to the polls”?

    Har har har. Yes, it’s fucking hilarious that black people accumulate arrest warrants because some cop didn’t like their looks or they didn’t pay a fine they can’t afford.

    • gratuitous

      What’s even funnier is when the target doesn’t even know there’s a warrant out because the notices were sent to an address that was occupied three years ago by another person of the same name.

  • UnsaltedSinner
    • Pisto75666

      Hope he didn’t forget his stash of hillbilly heroin.

  • The Librarian

    The only thing the Sheriff didn’t tweet was “the boogeyman will get you if you don’t watch out”. Why not? It’s about as legit as the other shit.

  • george lastrapes

    How long before the RW conspiratologists tell us that climate scientists are cooking up baby hurricanes in their basement labs, shipping them out to sea and releasing them? Wouldn’t surprise me if InfoWars was already on it.

  • clairence

    Sounds like some of those FBI ‘terrorist’ stings where they find someone and convince them to do something they weren’t planning on doing, then arrest them for it.
    Maybe the crime rate would go down if law enforcement was a bit more responsible with their ‘task forces’.

  • NotDarkYet

    Funny (not funny ha-ha) how so many of our servers and protectors seem to have unexplored Dirty Harry issues.

    • The Flaming Carrot

      I used to root for John Wayne, until I realized I was one of the Indians.

  • Thorn Spike

    Dicks gonna dick.

  • altleftjohn

    This is why I carry my non-sex offender ID card whenever I go,to Florida.

  • whitroth

    Isn’t that cruel and unusual punishment, y’know, like endangering lives for an outstanding traffic ticket, or a prostitution?

    I hope this asshole has a close encounter with an alligators who’s lost, trying to get hom, and is hungry…. (y’all did see that alligators are trying to go home in TX, too?)

  • Ωbjectifier

    “Officers are legally obligated to take a person into custody if they have a warrant,” she said.

    Nope, not at all true.

  • teele

    Cops can’t tell what the warrant is for? OH NO! If only they had access to those fancy computer thingies the kids are so crazy about these days!!!

    So, basically police departments have been reduced to mobile tax collection/looting units, at least in some parts of Florida. Why wouldn’t you want your child to grow up and become a policeman?

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i’m not a cop, but I call bullshit on that.

      When I got placed under arrest for someone else’s warrant (same first and last name, similar birthday), the trooper knew exactly what the warrant was for.

      (yes, I was released within 10 minutes or so).

  • JMP

    “Never before did I think that we’d be beat up for giving people a warning and keeping people safe,”

    Keeping people safe?! You’re trying to intimidate people away from shelters in a life-threatening situation, your warnings are very likely to get people killed. That’s the fucking opposite of keeping people safe, you fucking wannabe murderer!

  • James Baskin

    He’s got Fox news giving him air time. What. a. surprise.

    • BigJimSlade

      And we’ve got leftist “news” organizations NOT giving him airtime.
      What. Another. Surprise.

      Let’s use our confirmation bias to only read “news” we agree with. YAY!

  • Nephilim

    These national sheriffs seem to have way too much power. Not content on enforcing laws, they seem to make laws up as they like, whether in Arizona or Florida.

    • Odd Jørgensen

      Weel, according to the sovcit crowd, sheriffs are the highest authority in the land.

  • This is what happens when the taxes are for losers crowd wins out. Cops gotta pay for thier new drone toys somehow! Expect firemen to start pocketing valuables or emts to sell drugs next.

    • javadavis

      Emts won’t be selling drugs, they’ll be purchasing drugs to replace the ones stolen by their officers. You gotta have something to ease the pain of trauma victims.

      • JohnC44

        Sometimes it seems like our reality is violently spiraling towards a shady knockoff of Johnny Mnemonic.

        I call dibs on the decapitator thumbs. Don’t want those falling into the wrong (or the right) hands, do we?

        • javadavis

          Well, now I have to go research this “Johnny Mnemonic”. Thank yew very much!

  • Pisto75666

    The EOC manager from another county (Manatee, I think) was asked about banning people with warrants etc from shelters, and said that (without naming names) officials can’t actually DO that. So that’ll be news to some, I’m sure.

  • Lefty Wright

    Not that I’m familiar with pick up techniques for children, but I would not think a school gym with 150 cots and your family members clustered around you is the best place to molest a 10 year old. I mean, it’s not like they don’t have staff there or that your parents and older brother are going to skip out to see a movie, leaving you with the creepy acting guy on the other side of the room with a bag of candy. Kids are probably safer there than in the coach’s office after practice, or “special” counseling by the youth minister. Or in the case of the Duggar family, having the oldest son babysit.

    • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

      I don’t know. The whole “let’s seize property from random people and if anyone complains we’ll call them pedos” theory looks plausible.

  • Not Flat – ROUND!

    I bet that asshole sheriff considers himself a good Christian (like most RWNJ idiots) – I have one thing to say about that…

    If you are correct about God, have fun spending eternity in Hell, you hypocrite.

  • Shane

    So Rush Limbaugh can’t come in the shelter? That DOES make me feel safer.

    • BigJimSlade

      Maybe him and Bill Clinton can share a cigar!
      (too soon?)

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I don’t want to be anywhere a place where Rush is coming.

  • Molon Labe

    “imaginary sex crimes” WTF??? Maybe NOT siding with the pedos is the right thing to do??
    Here are the pedos in one of Polk County’s zips codes. These are the folks you have chosen to champion their cause. Take a GOOD look at em and enjoy –
    http://www.floridapredators.com/floridapredatorsbyzip.aspx?zipcode=33801

    Doesn’t anyone here listen to gangster rap? Bitches, pimping ain’t easy. If you gonna run around with warrants out cause you flaked on your “parking lot fender-bender”, what do you think is gonna happen? You planning on escaping to Mexico? You livin so far neath the law you think you can hide forever from giving the other driver your insurance policy?? Bitches please.

    • The Flaming Carrot

      I believe the sheriff wants to exclude everyone who has an outstanding warrant against them, not just “pedos.” It’s difficult to tell, because he failed to use proper English. “Have a warrant” technically describes law enforcement officers carrying a warrant against an accused. And I think you mean “Moron Labe.”

      • Molon Labe

        I believe you are correct. If the police find someone with a warrant for their arrest, they will be arrested. Thats how it works, thats their job.

        For me it boils down to responsibility. Take the “parking-lot-fender-bender” example used in the article. Seems harmless and is non-violent yet that doesn’t mean you are not hurting someone by dodging your responsibility. Because you left the scene of the accident the other driver is stuck with paying out of pocket for damages or facing a possible increase in premiums.

        Either way lets be real. If someone smashes your car in a parking lot and peels out with out taking responsibility. How sympathetic are you going to be if they end up getting arrested for it? But the premise here is that you don’t care when someone else gets their car smashed? That the person who did it shouldn’t have to take responsibility for their actions?

    • Regret

      Points off for abuse of the question mark.
      Siding with non-violent lawbreakers and protecting the rescue personnel that will be sent out to rescue them is not the same as siding with child-molesters. Words are hard for you, aren’t they?

      ‘These are the folks you have chosen to champion their cause.’ does not mean what you think it means. Points off for getting lost in your own sentence.
      You get a point for being prepared and posting a link.

      ‘are going to’ x2
      ‘because’
      ‘Are you’
      ‘living’
      ‘beneath’
      Coincidentally, the phrase ‘Living beneath of the law’ does not exist.
      Living beneath the law would mean living under the law, i.e. following the law.

      1/10. Keep trying, you will get better with practice!

      • Molon Labe

        Ok, so these”non-violent criminals” (I have no doubt they are) who have warrants from “parking-lot-fender-benders” are in a nasty position where they may have to chose to take RESPONSIBILITY for their actions. THE HORROR!! (you may mark points off me for capital letter abuse). The sheriff gave the community 4 days notice of this. Go take care of it.

        Anyway, playing word-police while arguing against accepting legal responsibilities …..LOL……

        • Wee Mousie

          Either you believe LOL means Law Over Logic or else you have a truly weird sense of humor.

          That’s not totally bad. As Tom Robbins points out in “Still Life With Woodpecker” “There’s no such thing as a weird human being, it’s just that some people require more understanding than most.”

          And you, sir, are going to require a shit-load.

          • Molon Labe

            Great, thats what I hope to get some discussing these things. More understanding. I have already shared a good extent of my views on this topic. If you believe I need more understanding please feel free to contribute your perspective on the topic.

          • blaid droog

            You have a gift for murdering the english language. First grade students can read and write. They do not yet know the rules of grammar and coherent sentence structure. Ipso Facto, you are a first grade moron.

          • Molon Labe

            What grade do you graduate from name calling in?

          • blaid droog

            As a cat toys with a rat, I was merely playing with your fragile ego. I wanted to see how long it would take for you to crawl out from under your slimy rock.

          • Molon Labe

            and?

          • blaid droog

            I think this idiot is obsessed with lawnorder zealots. I wonder about his personal criminal history.

    • Odd Jørgensen

      Oh look, A idiot, making shit up as he goes.

      • Molon Labe

        Anything else you would like to contribute to the discussion?

  • Viktor

    Looks like Bill O’Reilly is screwed.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Go on…im listening.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    Can I marry you, ACLU ?
    For people who lost everything in a natural disaster, there might be other thing to care about than what offenses or crimes other people might have committed.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    So apparently Eric Bolling’ s son committed suicide, right after Eric Bolling lost his job at Fox News for sending unwanted dick pics to female colleagues. Tough week to be Eric Bolling.

    • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

      Tougher week to be his son.

  • Papa Guns

    Making America great again, one person at a time!
    I love it!

  • Odewole

    category 5? I didn’t even know there *was* a cat 5. Did you?

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