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It’s Friday, Wonketariat! Let’s start off with some mystery bonus nice time! Now here’s some of the things we may be talking about today.

Russia’s attack on the 2016 election came in three parts, fucking with social media, fucking with the DNC, and fucking with states — and they haven’t stopped fucking around. [Morning Maddow]

The House is delaying the spending bill that includes Harvey aid until next week just in case Hurricane Irma fucks Florida seven different ways on Sunday.

Governors just want to fix lingering problems with the ACA before health insurers threaten to back out of market places (again), but nobody can agree who has to pay for all those band-aids.

Senate Republicans are signaling that they’re done trying to kill the ACA (for now) as they’re still trying to lick their wounds from the last beating.

The Senate Appropriations Committee is giving the State Department $51 billion Ameros, and that includes billions for humanitarian aid, $10 million in funding for the UN climate change agency, and an amendment to overturn Trump’s ban on Not America women’s access family planning services. SUCK IT, REXXON!

Jeff Sessions doesn’t think gay-hatin’ bakers should have to make gay cakes for gay weddings if they don’t like the gays so he’s on his hands and knees begging the SCOTUS to think of the children.

Republicans are seriously freaking out about Trump’s two-timing double-cross with Democrats on the debt ceiling, and they’re worried how easily he might cave under real pressure.

Newt Gingrich is scheming to return as House Speaker in the wake of Trump’s failure to shut down the government. He’s either the turd that won’t flush, or he can’t get laid in Italy.

The “deep state” is just a bunch of nerds who like to snipe at each other from windowless Washington basements, not a bunch of super spies who secretly call the shots and guide public policy, and the “good guys” and “bad guys” are always switching sides.

Ted Cruz is getting ready to run for reelection, so he’s putting on his happy face, and hoping you forget that he’s a pathological liar who has shut down the government, killed universal healthcare, tried to deny federal aid to New York and New Jersey, and ate that booger on TV.

Some racist pig fucker(s) in Topeka, Kansas, greeted their new Habitat for Humanity neighbor with racial slurs spray painted on the lawn. The problem’s not the slur per se; it’s the GODDAMN WAY THE TOWN IS TREATING HABITAT FOR HUMANITY AND THE PEOPLE WHO EARN THEIR GODDAMN HOUSES.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s wife, Sara Netanyahu, is going to be indicted for fraud over ALLEGEDLY spending many Ameros that belonged to the state on some fancy parties, and then trying to hide it. As her defense, she is literally blaming the butler.

One of Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte’s kids and his brother-in-law are denying allegations of smuggling $125.4 million Ameros worth of crystal meth from China, even though Duterte’s kid ALLEGEDLY has a tattoo on his back that ID’s him as a member of a drug cartel.

Overnight a huge 8.1 earthquake ripped through Southern Mexico, scaring the crap out of people, killing at least six. No es bueno. :(

Somebody hacked credit reporting agency Equifax, making off with the records of 143 MILLION people — making it arguably the worst data breach in history as it compromises the socials, birthdays, addresses, even drivers license numbers of 44% of all Americans. TO make matters even worse, it seems like Equifax executives dumped their stock upon learning of the breach. The good news is that the hipster youth can’t get credit due to unpayable student loans.

A couple of Senate Democrats bought you an extra month to tell the FCC why net neutrality is so damn important. You can do that here, provided you’re on your best behavior!

APPARENTLY the Daily Stormer has a style guide for how to write like a Nazi, that includes when not to give Alex Jones and Mili Yano-whatever reach arounds for being “pro-jew shills.”

The FBI file on Breitbart is almost 1,500 pages thick, and you can only read about 20 pages of it as the rest might reveal snitches, investigations, or how Steve Bannon sucks his own dick.

Dame Peggington Noonington hath opined that one Donald J. Trump is no Ronald Reagan, no matter how many times one Mr. Trump consumes digestible tidbits about the Gipper. Nay, Dame Peggington suggests that Mr. Trump hath made a deal with the Democratic Devil. [Archive]

And here’s your late night wrap-up! Stephen Colbert had talky time with Sen. Bernie SandersJimmy Kimmel has his eye on new Trump toysSeth Meyers took A Closer Look at Irma and DACAThe Daily Show doesn’t understand why our government keeps trying to shut downJames Corden knows how Nancy Pelosi tricked Trump.

And here’s your morning Nice Time! Sir David Attenborough shit-talking shit-taking sloths!

If you give us money we can keep stabbing our keyboards with our fingers FOR YOU.

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  • Nounverb911
  • BadKitty904

    Jeff Secessions spends a LOT of time on his hands and knees or he wouldn’t still have his job as Perjurer-General.

  • Nounverb911
    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      What is this? Coffee induced seizures?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Invisible jizzgasm.

  • Stulexington

    Even the hurricanes are bigger in Texas!

  • h4rr4r

    Equifax has a website to see if you have been compromised, which requires you to input your social. Not only is that a horrible idea, but it also only offers some shitty credit monitoring after making you agree to never sue them.

    • Shanzgood

      And this could never happen to a voter database.

      Oh, wait…

    • MrTusks

      Anyone who doesn’t anticipate taking out a loan or getting a new credit card in the near future should just freeze their credit. It’s $10 per service and you can undo it with minor hassle when you need a report.

  • Nounverb911
    • BadKitty904

      I can do that by watching you for approx. 30 seconds.

    • h4rr4r

      Yeah sure, prove it.

      I don’t believe it. It is a machine, it is making some assumptions to get there, find that and it falls apart. Soon we will find out it only checks if the picture was taken on a cloudy day.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Oh, for fuck’s sake.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Is it making this analysis before or after you give a straight guy a six pack of beer?

      • nmmagyar

        We’re all gay after a 6 pack. Allegedly.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Well, I would need at least a pallet of XO Cognac just to entertain the possibility.

          • Gayer Than Thou

            I was going to say “Sounds expensive – are you worth it?” But then that seemed maybe a little more snarky than even I would like. So I didn’t say it.

          • Shanzgood

            That was kind of you.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            I’m definitely not worth it.

            Today, anyway.

        • Shanzgood

          I’d probably just need a couple of shots of tequila. Then nobody is safe. Except there could be punching involved so I just avoid it to be sure.

      • dlemex

        Shhh… you are not supposed to mention that nor the ever popular… “shit, I was so drunk I don’t remember anything from last night” excuse.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I hope it’s like the Facebook app that tells your ethnic heritage from your face.*

      *useful exclusively for shits and giggles.

    • therblig

      ai or big gay al?

  • memzilla Ω

    Seth Meyers linky not working, just like a common Trump.

  • Joe Beese
    • BadKitty904

      Ugh.

    • Daniel

      How long before a Trump hotel goes up there?

      • OneYieldRegular

        Trump has had a house there.

        • coozledad

          Then he’s in prime position to siphon off a few billion tax dollars to promote a little disaster capitalism.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Trump is going to claim $1B in launderingdamages.

      • BadKitty904

        20-to–life, we hope.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Rush must feel very proud.

  • CutterTeam

    The Earth’s immunity system is rejecting us.

    • Spurning Beer

      We’re pus, basically.

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        Don’t say that! Trump will want to grab us!

  • Nounverb911
    • BadKitty904
      • Msgr_MΩment

        Careful, the Mitch is about to unleash that three-foot tongue of his any minute, from the looks of it.

        • BadKitty904

          Ew.

      • Little Lulu Ω

        Our neighbors the Helfensteins had a dog with eyes just like Ryan’s.

    • h4rr4r

      How is the eliminating the mortgage interest deduction going to harm real estate sales?

      I bought a house for a place to live, not for some small tax deduction.

      • Spurning Beer

        You need to think bigger, and also buy a vacation home.

        • h4rr4r

          You can’t save money spending more, if your only savings are tax based.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            No, but you can make more on an investment if it gets favorable tax treatment.

          • kbbaldwin2

            Oh, great! NOW you tell me.

          • bupkus231

            You estimate your taxes based on the mortgage interest deduction, then adjust either your withholding or your estimated tax payments to end up with more money in your pocket during the year. That more money can support a higher mortgage payment, among other things….

            It does make a difference, in the early years of a mortgage, especially when interest rates were high.

          • h4rr4r

            If you are running your budget that close, you are moments from poverty.

          • bupkus231

            No. I did this for years, and not just with the mortgage interest deduction, but the local/state taxes. It was only in the last few years, after I started paying for my own health insurance . that medical deductions became important, too…

            I’ve been constantly amazed over the years over the number of people who think that getting a big tax refund was a good thing. I know some people saw that as means of “forced savings”, but I always saw it as much better to adjust my withholding ( and later my estimated tax payments ) to be closer to reality, and get my money up front.

            Hey – I’m single, w/ no dependants, so perhaps that explains why I feel this way…

          • h4rr4r

            If having this money now, means you can spend more on a mortgage, that scares me. Clearly if you need it stretch your mortgage budget you are not saving enough. Refund or dollars in hand now changes nothing.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        It shifts the rent vs buy calculation, for some people, anyway.

    • DrBigHead

      Run for POTUS? Can he really be that delusional?

  • Shanzgood

    Jeff Sessions would undo Loving if he could. Vicious little goblin.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Sessions v Loving. I hereby call dibs on the film rights.

      • Shanzgood

        Oh, I recently watched the film about the case! So very good!

        • Msgr_MΩment

          We Netflixed it. I should have fumigated for onion ninjas before watching it, tho.

          • Shanzgood

            It was so quiet and beautiful. The main actors were amazing! Although I needed subtitles for the Southern white accent.

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            In a similar vein, Hidden Figures was also really good.

        • Persistent Tennessee Rain

          Is it on Netflix?

          • Shanzgood

            I don’t remember where I got it but Msgr says yes, below.

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            I am soooooo watching that tonight!

  • coozledad

    Racist America is just a big, sloppy wet hole for anyone who wants it. Fucking Montenegro could take us out with a couple of dozen teenagers armed with pickhandles.

    The racist/torturer class the Republicans have cultivated for the last half century are always the first to go over to the other side. Natural traitors.

  • quantum mechanic
    • kareemachan

      So repub….

  • Gayer Than Thou

    [Gingrich is] either the turd that won’t flush, or he can’t get laid in Italy.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c8796aa7c93b1d26eecaccaaa0f5a46c724d2121a0a532fabf0e284de5c75d84.jpg

    • coozledad

      Maybe they’re trying to gift him the speakership to insulate Trump and Pence from removal. But the fact they’re considering it might mean more systemic complicity with the Russians than we imagined.

      The Republicans do resemble cheap, shoddy Russian consumer goods.

      • nmmagyar

        How stupid would you have to be to think that putting Leroy in the line of succession is “protection”?

      • Little Lulu Ω

        I wonder if this outreach to Pelosi and Schumer is just a Bannon-generated ruse to turn the GOP dipshits in Congress against McConnell and Ryan. This would lead to their replacement with Gingrich and whoever else is more evil than Ryan and McConnell. Then Trump could end his bipartisan act and move on.

        • kbbaldwin2

          “more evil than Ryan and McConnell”? Beelzebub and Voldemort?

        • coozledad

          I’m thinking smokescreen, too. Trump knows the media’s been salivating for a “pivot”. This’ll get them off his ass long enough to do some more damage.

          I’m beginning to think Thrush and Haberman are on the payroll.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      yes

  • Joe Beese
    • Major_Major_Major

      Are you sure that bottom pic isn’t actually tentacle porn?

  • BadKitty904

    OT: Aight, Wonklings, we’ve said goodbye to our little home and are bugging out. Those who are doing similar – be safe! I’ll check back in once we’re hunkered down.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Take care of yourselves! We worry.

    • Shanzgood

      Let us know how you’re doing!

    • OneYieldRegular

      GOOD kitty!

      • AngelaHMejia

        my classmate’s sister-in-law makes $61 /hour on the laptop . She has been out of a job for eight months but last month her check was $20437 just working on the laptop for a few hours. more info here

        http://www.jobshostproductsplay

        ❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖::::da253.

    • DrBigHead

      Be safe, and good luck

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Best of luck to you & your domicile!

    • CutterTeam

      No snark for this one. Please be safe :-)

    • Sophia

      Thanks for staying safe. We worry about you Floridian Wonkers.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Take care and check in when you can.

    • ltmcdies

      Stay safe, Kitty.

    • lroom

      Good luck and stay safe.

    • SeeTrain65

      How I envision the last couple days …

      (Don’t mind us. Just get going. Be safe, stay safe, come back soon.)
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1b3d12f3d5cb6eb39d49a381fc9d206a6b77709d602314d16c923bf290a0af8b.gif

      • BadKitty904

        How did you sneak a camera into our house?!?!

        • SeeTrain65

          I AM IRMA.

          • BadKitty904

            Then cut it out with the devastation’n’stuff, ‘k?

          • SeeTrain65

            I WILL NOT BE TOPPED!

            Oh, you just topped me again? I’ll be leaving. ; )

        • nightmoth

          Yo, BadKitty: new post from you—so you settled in safe and purring?

          • BadKitty904

            Snug as the proverbial bug!

    • Me not sure

      Have you access to US 19 up the west coast from Tampa? That might be less crowded than the Interstates.

    • nightmoth

      May the road be safe and the wind at your backs.

      • Invisible Bunyip

        Just not too much wind.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Newt Gingrich is scheming to return as House Speaker in the wake of Trump’s failure to shut down the government. He’s either the turd that won’t flush, or he can’t get laid in Italy.

    Think of Newt as one that loved his country not wisely, but too well.

    • Nounverb911

      So Newt is tired of being in the ‘Real Housewives of the Vatican’?

      • coozledad

        They’d better check the silverware before he leaves.

        • nmmagyar

          And the convents

    • Major_Major_Major

      Think of Newt as one that loved fucked his country not wisely, but too well. FIFY

    • OneYieldRegular

      Can you imagine Romans interacting with Newt Gingrich? No wonder he’s desperate to get out of there.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Newtus, ite domum!

        • Invisible Bunyip

          Umm… “Newt, go home”?

      • kareemachan

        Not just him, but Helmet Hair as well. I’m sure they appreciate having an adulteress sent over there…

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Newt loved his country weasley, then threw it down a well.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Never really watched Fox News until I started going to gym. I noticed that they only have like 10 of the same guests on and they just go from show to show. Luckily, the gym has 8 other tvs playing other programs.

  • bbayliss
  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Ah, so the truth about Duterte’s murdering of drug dealers finally comes out…just eliminating the competition.

  • arglebargle

    Spends the day half asleep, muscles reduced to thin ribbons, always shit in the same place, and doesn’t wear pants. Sloth or wonkette commenter?

    • nmmagyar

      Yes

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I fancy myself representing more than just one of the deadly sins.

      • arglebargle

        multitasking!

      • nmmagyar

        AOT, K myownself

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I take pride in defecating in a variety of locations.

    • kbbaldwin2

      Hey! I wear pants when it is cold.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I figured from the start that Duterte was a drug-dealer trying to get rid of the competition. No wonder Trump admires him.

  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911

    Ooh look, another mention.
    (Is the troll patrol on duty yet?) (Seriously)

    https://twitter.com/juliaioffe/status/905994972121489408

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I hope this doesn’t mean that we’ll need to suffer the hoi polloi in here now.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        {shudder} Dreadful to suggest such a thing.

    • cheetojeebus

      We should probs put out a nosh tray some cedar cheese maybe one of those cakes we like?

    • From Russia with Love

      We all seem to be assuming that she didn’t know this about Gramps. This is probably lesson #1 in How Tomi Got Her Chops.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    “Mobile compost heap” – so sloths are vegans?

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Definitely vegans.

      • Old town Urbandale

        Do they yodel?

    • OneYieldRegular

      Be careful. That’s just what they want you to think.

    • Finnibar87

      They eat their own fungus.

      True story.

      • From Russia with Love

        Who doesn’t?

  • Lance Thrustwell

    He pronounces sloth “slowth.” Have I been saying it wrong?

    • Gayer Than Thou

      He’s a foreigner. They always mispronounce English words, no matter how long they’ve been speaking it.

      • arglebargle

        Deport!!1!

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        This is why internment camps are crucial.

    • Bananas Foster

      He pronounces “shit” pretty weird too, also.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        The only correct pronunciation is ‘shite’.

        • Shanzgood

          I love that word.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      It’s derived from “slow”, so yes? (I say it “wrong” too).

    • SeeTrain65

      Now it’ll be ‘Ant! Ant! Ant!’ for a couple of days, then all of a sudden, ‘Oh, mum, I’ve bought a sloth!’ or some other odd-toed ungulate like a tapir.”

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmKped3yARQ

  • arglebargle

    Not covered here (yet) but how long are we going to have to listen to this Kid Rock douchenozzle?

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/kid-rock-goes-off-in-politically-charged-tirade-at-michigan-concert_us_59b1abe0e4b0dfaafcf696eb

    • Joe Beese
      • Lance Thrustwell

        I have to admit I like Stefanie Eulinberg’s drum track on this.

      • Me The People

        Thats like something out of Trailer Parks Boys, except J-Roc’s videos would be more convincing and have better rapping.

      • Red Bird

        exhibit A: cultural appropriation

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • DerrickWildcat

      Looks very suspicious. What is the Government planning?

      • Ghenghis McCann

        ‘Keep watching the skies.’

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Thassa lotta chemtrails!

    • Bananas Foster

      Fucking angry birds.

      • Little Lulu Ω

        The ones that move really fast when you touch the screen while they’re flying. Yes, I play.

    • freakishlypersistent

      Those three on the lower right..Trump voters.

      • From Russia with Love

        One is Rush. Headed to Dominican Republic…

        • SeeTrain65

          Tell him the rent bois were all washed out to sea.

    • arglebargle

      Why are all Florida planes painted yellow?

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Disney insisted on it. We don’t know why yet…

        • Finnibar87

          Ducks.

    • Finnibar87

      Smells like American Carnage.

    • From Russia with Love

      Anybody who owns one is getting it the fuck out of there.

  • Nounverb911

    Bloomberg seems optimistic today….
    https://twitter.com/business/status/906115122682318848

    • Gayer Than Thou

      End Timers are probably wetting themselves even as we speak.

      • nmmagyar

        When aren’t they?

      • puredog

        Map needs moar western wildfires.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “Jehovah! Donald Trump is destroying the US.”
      “Hold my nectar.”

    • mackafritz

      Well at least Jose is heading out to sea.

      • nmmagyar

        Unless he turns west…

    • From Russia with Love

      Hope it shits on Indiana.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      God is punishing Mexico’s refusal to pay for the Wall, presumably.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        He’s pointing out he can huff and puff, and blow the wall down.

    • coozledad

      Mo hot, mo entropy.

  • Joe Beese

    … Democratic senators and outside groups have begun telling Sanders and friendly intermediaries that if he wants to be a leading figure for Democrats ahead of 2020’s presidential election, he needs to get his supporters in line — or at least publicly disavow their more incendiary statements.

    The confrontations, they insist, threaten party unity ahead of a critical midterm election cycle, when Democrats have a shot at winning the House and several governor’s offices.

    “The Democratic Party has treated Senator Sanders exceptionally well. We collectively let him run in our primaries when he declared he wasn’t a Democrat — I count that as a great favor, and an opportunity almost no one else has ever received,” said former Democratic National Committee chairman Don Fowler, who has called for the independent Sanders to formally join the party.

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/09/08/bernie-backers-attacks-infuriate-democrats-242386

    • From Russia with Love

      I have also called called for the independent Sanders to formally join the party. Or just fuck completely and totally off.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Be nice, it’s his birthday today. You can tell him to fuck off tomorrow.

      • coozledad

        He can’t. It would ruin the game he’s running.

        I got to give him credit for a master class on fleecing feebs. You always do it with religion. In this case, it was literally an echo of the more catholic strains of Marxism- “the falling away of the state” and “the dictatorship of the proletariat”, if by proletariat you mean unstable young whites.

        All men as one, and all men pitching in to build me a fucking dacha at the beach.

    • BigCSouthside

      That last paragraph needs to be sent to every motherfucker who says “the primary was rigged against Bernie”

      He would have pulled Jill Stein numbers if he ran as an Independent

      • Joe Beese

        I’m Team Bernie, as a rule, but you’ve got us dead to rights on that.

    • Wolf Tracker

      Get his supporters in line?

      Those supporters are the majority of liberals and Independents that the Dems will need to win in 2018 and 2020.

      I would suggest the Dem leadership take a lesson from 2016 and listen to what those people want and it isn’t GOP lite.

      • coozledad

        An open primary dork.

        • Wolf Tracker

          Winning a primary is no guarantee those people will vote for that candidate. You have to win them over.

          • coozledad

            Yeah, let’s win some of those Republicans who hoped like hell the dems would run “That commie Jewboy”. Haw haw.

            You’re at best a political naif, and more likely, a Breitbartian.

          • Wolf Tracker

            Your personal attacks only expose your immaturity.

            Have a great day!

      • Chyron HR

        2017: “We don’t want GOP lite.”
        2020: “Tulsi ‘Kill All Muslims’ Gabbard or bust!”

        • Wolf Tracker

          Sounds like you don’t know Bernie supporters at all.

      • shivaskeeper

        You know what? No. Just no. Listen to the liberals who are in the party, sure. By all means.

        The Independents can run on their own party platform. Of course they will have to build up a national level party machine to do that.

        I’m tired of being told how I need to listen to and bend to the will of a bunch of spoiled brats who want to change a Party from the outside. Fuck them. They can join the Democratic Party and start to effect the changes they want. I’m tired of being told what I need to do to win politically by people who didn’t understand the concept of a closed primary and then cried about it when they did finally understand it. I’m tired of the left’s version of the Tea Party screeching about who is pure enough for them. I’m tired of dealing with the assholes who won’t compromise like an adult.

        • Wolf Tracker

          You can not win without Independents. 2016 proved that.

          Keep thinking you can and you will lose again.

          You want compromise and then tell them to get in line with GOP lite Dems.

          Not going to happen.

          • shivaskeeper

            No compromise? That’s not GOP lite. That’s Tea Party. If they want a say on Party politics, they can join the fucking Party. If not, they need to shut the fuck up, sit down and accept what they are given. It’s really that simple. They, and you, don’t get to make those changes from the outside.

          • Wolf Tracker

            “they need to shut the fuck up, sit down and accept what they are given.”

            How fascist of you.

            Fascism /ˈfæʃɪzəm/ is a form of radical authoritarian nationalism, characterized by dictatorial power, forcible suppression of opposition, and control of industry and commerce, that came to prominence in early 20th-century Europe.

          • shivaskeeper

            Fascist. Right. Telling someone that they should join a political organization if they want to have a say in how that organization runs and what it’s overarching politics should be is fascist now? Good to know.

            I’m tired of the whining about no one will listen to them, or you, and bend to their will on everything while they are not part of the Party. Join the Party. Then you get to advocate for the changes you want. If not shut the fuck up, sit the fuck down, accept what you are given, vote for someone who is the antithesis of what you claim to believe in with the hope things get so bad it all burns down, and continue to nurse your grudge that no one will listen to you.

            Or to put it another way, do you think you should have a say in how a union operates or votes if you are not part of that union or even in a job that would fall under that union?

          • Wolf Tracker

            What you did with this statement is fascism and exactly why people will reject your ideology and candidates.

            “”they need to shut the fuck up, sit down and accept what they are given.”

            That is the reason the GOP lite was rejected and will lose again if they don’t listen to the Liberals and Independents.

            Read:

            http://www.cnn.com/2016/11/09/politics/clinton-votes-african-americans-latinos-women-white-voters/index.html

          • shivaskeeper

            I fail to see how telling you to join the Party you want a voice in is fascism.

            Instead of just cutting and pasting a definition that had nothing to do with what I said or my ideology, go back and reread that definition and explain to me where anything I said falls under that definition.

          • coozledad

            We had a Berniebro candidate for NC House 2. He stood in front of a group of solid democratic workers (the black women who get shit done) and insulted them. He quoted Breitbart.. He’s since gone out on Facebook and endorsed the Proud Boys and that kind of shit.

            A lot of these losers are just making their last play for attention before their youth fades to a painful frumpy mediocrity. Then there are those who will always be the loathsome shrieking child, even unto death.

          • Wolf Tracker

            Those same black women that did not vote for Clinton?

            Those black women and men?

            You obviously learned nothing from 2016.

          • coozledad

            Whatever you say, Steve.

          • Wolf Tracker

            (CNN)Hillary Clinton just couldn’t hold onto the Obama coalition. And that proved to be a large part of her undoing.

            African-American, Latino and younger voters failed to show up at the polls in sufficient numbers Tuesday to propel Clinton into the White House.

            http://www.cnn.com/2016/11/09/politics/clinton-votes-african-americans-latinos-women-white-voters/index.html

            Ok, Bob.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            I’ll give you the younger voters. African-American and Latino voters didn’t show up at the polls due to voter suppression. The members of those two groups who did vote voted overwhelmingly for Hillary in both the primary and general elections.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Black women voted overwhelmingly for Hillary.

          • Perkniticky

            You seem to be assuming independents are all lefties. The Republicans have lost more party members than Dems recently, which would lead one to believe that there are more centrist independents up for grabs than lefties. And most polling on independents has them mostly aligning with Dems, except for a few issues where they align with Repubs. All of which leads me to the conclusion that independents are mostly centrist.

        • Finnibar87

          Bernie pisses me off, too.

          • Wolf Tracker

            What part pisses you off:

            Universal health care, free low cost college education, higher wages, no wars, more worker benefits, etc.

          • shivaskeeper

            Purity above sense from either side pisses me off. A left wing Tea Party 2.0 will be as ineffective and cruel as the current right wing version.

          • Wolf Tracker

            Seemed to move Clinton to the left but she didn’t convince people she had credibility.

            Try harder.

          • shivaskeeper

            I though she was credible. Besides she was the one with the actual plans and not just pipe dreams and talking points. Learn to compromise.

          • Wolf Tracker

            Actual plans? She adopted Bernies plans as her own but her war monger history and vote for Iraq war and serious wall street connections gave her no credibility.

            That is a fact and is why she lost.

            You already made it clear you don’t want compromise.

            “they need to shut the fuck up, sit down and accept what they are given.”

          • shivaskeeper

            Join the Party. It really is that simple. I can and will compromise within the Party. I can an will compromise with the loyal opposition if it will further improve this country. I have no need, desire, or incentive to compromise on Party politics with someone outside the party. I won’t let the GOPers decide what the Dem Party should be, why should I let you do it instead?

            You are sort of close about something though. She did adopt some of his ideas, but she came up with actual plans to get them done as well. Idealism vice pragmatism.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Is it true that Sessions has installed “white” and “colored” water fountains in the DOJ?

    • therblig

      in keeping with elfin magic, they say “vanilla” and “chocolate”

      • From Russia with Love

        Well, I could actually see him installing water fountains for people under five feet tall, and some for the “others.”

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          “Elves” and “Orcs”.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Totally untrue. He just labeled all the water fountains “whites only”. Colored folks can bring their own water, which they can obtain from the secret colored folks welfare program.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I hope at least they can pick up some free crab legs while they’re at it.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Deep State A new motion picture starring Tom Cruise as Secret Service Agent Jack Honest, Morgan Freeman as the former black President, Robert Deniro as the all powerful head of the Congressional Budget Office, Sharon Stone as the mysterious woman behind everything, and Carrot Top, as the President of the United States.

    • SeeTrain65

      “Hello, and welcome to Moviefone!”

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qM79_itR0Nc

    • bupkus231

      I never thought I’d say this – but Carrot Top libulz!!!

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Pulls out a bottle of Sodium Hydroxide with some greens and two stuffed toy bulls taped to it.

        “Carrot top lye bulls!”

  • Nounverb911
    • freakishlypersistent

      He needed a “win”. For that, you go with Nancy.

  • freakishlypersistent

    Wasn’t Newt forced out in disgrace? By his own party? And then given a huge platform on librul teevee to further divide the country and spew toxic hate and lower our political discourse forever? Yeah, we need more of THAT.

    • bbayliss

      Not many know…He was the king of pork for his district and Murdoch’s “go to” guy.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        He got a Coast Guard training facility in his state, which is land locked.

        • TakingAmes

          Georgia’s not landlocked, yo.

  • Nounverb911

    And now, something to cheer you up this morning.
    https://twitter.com/BostonGlobe/status/906009689208455168

  • From Russia with Love

    Russia’s attack on the 2016 election came in three parts, fucking with social media, fucking with the DNC, and fucking with states — and they haven’t stopped fucking around.

    Hey Donald, you want cheese on that Nothing Burger?

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • TheGrandWazoo2

      I love you Tammy.

      • Finnibar87

        Get in line, bub.

    • Bananas Foster

      That’s goddamn fucking inspirational.

    • therblig

      she is awesome. cool that she’s wearing a joe walsh t-shirt.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Slaying it!!!!

    • coozledad

      She’s broken that fucker off in a few Republican assholes already. I hope she has a warehouse full of them.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      That woman is badass. She should have an alloy named after her.

      • SeeTrain65

        A new prosthetic leg made of pure Duckworthium.

        2 Billion Times stronger than steel. Can kick the asses of 30,000,000,000 Republicans without breaking.

  • From Russia with Love

    “…Sara Netanyahu, is going to be indicted for fraud over ALLEGEDLY spending many Ameros…”

    Mmm, weren’t they Israelos?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      It’s Netanyahu. They were ameros.

      • From Russia with Love

        Yeah, good point.

    • Nounverb911

      Shekelo’s

      • Ghenghis McCann

        From shekels to shackles?

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Prosecutors want to throw Shkreli back in prison for offering $5,000 for a lock of Hillary Clinton’s hair.

  • ManchuCandidate

    On the bright side Trump’s Patriots did a Falcons last night in Sports ball by choking hard.

    Small comfort to those who bet serious Ameros or Bitcoin or Quatloos on the Falcons.

    • freakishlypersistent

      Calling them “Trump’s Patriots” should, hopefully, hasten their demise.

  • Wolf Tracker

    Equifax in Big Big trouble with the FTC!

    45% of US population credit info hacked.

    https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2017-09-08/equifax-sued-over-massive-hack-in-multibillion-dollar-lawsuit

    Even if you have never dealt with Equifax personally some of your CC lenders and even your employer probably does so you might want to change your passwords and watch your accounts close.

  • Ghenghis McCann

    Facebook claims it can reach more young people than exist in UK, US and other countries

    https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2017/sep/07/facebook-claims-it-can-reach-more-people-than-actually-exist-in-uk-us-and-other-countries
    So that’s who told Trump his Inauguration crowd was the bigliest.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Bots are not people!

  • Wolf Tracker

    Much of South Florida now out of gas and won’t be resupplied until after the storm.

  • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist

    The only tech this guy knows is the technicality that his lawyer used to get him out of jail that one time. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/163b3946e94a7037914698ff2e090f074f86de11a89c50c79abfaf0a6fec194b.jpg

    • MrTusks

      The people who think their tech jobs were stolen by Dreamers are objectivist college dropouts who think their use of Linux on their PCs and their Call of Duty levels qualify them to work at Apple, which they say they hate anyway.

    • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

      I believe it’s spelled “stoled”.

  • Republicans are seriously freaking out about Trump’s two-timing double-cross with Democrats on the debt ceiling, and they’re worried how easily he might cave under real pressure.

    Because they still don’t understand him. He’s not particularly ideological. Maybe white supremacy is about the only thing he holds firmly.

    But he wants to be seen as a winner. Getting hurricane relief funds passed quickly through Congress, keeping the government running, getting anything significant passed through Congress will help him look better than sitting on his ass waiting for the howler monkeys of the Freedumb caucus to stop being Randian jackals. If the Dems and ‘moderate’ Repubs can make him look good, he’ll start passing centrist or center-left bills.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Is our Cheeto larnin’???

      • kareemachan

        Hell no.

    • Finnibar87

      For Trump to win, we have to lose.

      Rules of dominance.

  • Nounverb911

    Karma meet Schadenfreude, Schadenfreude meet Karma.

    https://twitter.com/VanityFair/status/906139349485543424

    • Latverian Diplomat

      What did his parents do to deserve this?

      • Nounverb911

        Got drunk that one time.

        • Rick Hill

          See? That’s what the preachers are warning us about the dangers of strong drink

        • Little Lulu Ω

          I think it was that night his father coughed in his sleep.

    • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist

      Just when they thought they were going to have use of their basement again.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        His old bedroom was just converted to a gift wrapping room, so basement it is.

    • laughingnome

      Karma and Schadenfreude – a satisfying paring of a vindictive Indian and a darkly humorous German

      • Red Richmond

        Best pairing of German and Indian since currywurst!

      • Naytch

        This fall on NBC!

  • Nounverb911
    • Rick Hill

      The fires are in states that didn’t vote trump so they don’t matter

      • Pilotshark

        yep, that is more or less what Gov. Brown (OR) was told by this administration when asked for more help.

        you get what you got,, and you better like it.

        • Rick Hill

          There should be some way to force them to pay. This assclown would likely only give support for disaster assistance if it was tied to support for his wall or something

  • OddMan

    Amazing images from the GOES 16 satellite of the eye of Irma.

    https://twitter.com/NOAASatellites/status/905166269904760833

    • Holy shit! Florida’s turning into the great red spot on Jupiter!

      • kareemachan

        Like a zit?

      • When it goes over us I’ll wave! Y’all tell me if you can see me!

        • Rick Hill

          Daggone it young lady! You better get yourself someplace safe

    • bupkus231

      I was looking at the NHC track – and while Harvey hammered Houston, Irma’s set to hit Miami, Orlando, Jacksonville – and even Atlanta ( at tropical storm strength ).

      So, while the Houston metro area had a population of 6.3M, Miami ( 5.0M ), Orlando ( 2.4M ), Jacksonville ( 1.6M ) and Atlanta ( 5.8M ) add up to almost 15M people affected ( just in the cities ) alone.

      • Me not sure

        Hurricanes, earthquakes, wild fires, and H-bombs. Say hello to Jesus for me if you see him.

        • Internet Hitler

          Don’t forget the tsunami, toxic explosions, tinder dates getting stuck upside down after going out window to retrieve her poop…

          • Me not sure

            It’s Armageddon, I tells ya.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        That’s alot…

    • coozledad

      You can almost see the tornaters spinnin’ off that sumbitch.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg
    • Wolf Tracker

      *Pukes
      *Pubes

      Dammit!

    • phoenix00

      … but I thought Trumpy used an iPhone!

  • Molon Labe

    “Pro-Jew shills should be attacked. These include Alex Jones, Gavin McInnes and Milo. At the same time, they should also be accused/celebrated as secret Nazis whenever they post anything that lines up with our agenda.” (from link)

    Not sure what you think a “reach around” is but its not that….

  • Red Bird

    Finally a sloth video. About time Dominic.
    Also, too, I googled the creator of Stormfront, Don Black. *ick* Why is anything related to him still around? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don_Black_(white_supremacist)

    • jodyleek

      Wait a sec…the creator of Stormfront, a grand whatever in the KKK, a virulent white supremacist, his last name is “Black”? I find that rather amusing.

  • puredog

    OT, but: Suck it, Patriots.

    • Internet Hitler

      Athletic Trump supporter NE Patriots can suck it. Resistance Patriots are awesome.

  • jodyleek

    Is it wrong that I want to snuggle with Sir David Attenborough, my head on his chest, whilst he reads the phone book to me?

    • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

      You’ll have to get in line.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Wonder if Pegs realizes that Lee and Jackson were Democrats?

    • bupkus231

      Yeah, but pre-Civil Rights Act Democrats, so they’re okay with her.

  • Jeffery Campbell

    Henceforth, the only correct pronunciation for sloth shall be with a long “o.” I see that the sloth and I share many habits – speed and agility being but two.

    • SayItWithWookies

      “The sloath comes down the tree to doofecate” is going to stick in my memory for a long time.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Only David Attenborough could class up taking a crap at the bottom of a tree.

      • Internet Hitler

        Okay, checking off sloth from possible critters who might have shit on my car from overhead. Thanks, sloth.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Ryan could just fuck the Freedom Caucus right to hell if he would just work with the Dems. Last I looked only in Trump math is 30 a majority in a 435 seat body.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    aieeeeee Dominic, warn for a VD link.

    • Sorry about that – it’s been a rough week, and I’ve been sick the last few days :(

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Aw. Feel better. I feel your pain. I just got weekend work, too.

    • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

      what? clicking the link gave you VD?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        The noisome creature at the other end of the link uses a pseudonym with the initials VD and was an early practitioner of the rabid weasel racist web swarm if his google alert flagged his name.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    A world were Alex Jones is a pro-jew shill is a world I don’t want to live in.

  • Me not sure

    Here’s one last look a South Florida and the Keys. It might not look this good again for a long time. Best of luck to those still there. Get out if you can.
    https://youtu.be/Xg-zwba7l5w

    • grindstone
      • Me not sure

        I know, right? Wife and I retired to the Appalachian foothills after considering Florida and deciding we didn’t want to deal with the vagaries of tropical weather. Tuesday we expect to be in the center of Tropical storm strength Irma. Sometimes you just can’t win.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Though, maybe, a half-spent tropical storm is better than a Cat-something hurricane…

          • Me not sure

            Don’t get me wrong. We’re happy with our decision, but this storm will have had tropical characteristics after traveling over 1000 miles with its center over land. It’s not expected to drop below hurricane level 1 wind until it reaches the southern suburbs of Atlanta. When has this ever happened.?

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Oh my… that’s insane… I was trying to be a Happy Face, but didn’t realize how long the heavy punch is projected to last… Be safe…

        • grindstone

          Spouse went out this morning and got wood (snicker) and we’re boarding up north and west windows.

    • cleos_mom

      We’ve been saving for a Major Vacation for several months, and are still debating where to go. Both of us liked the idea of the Keys: The Husband wants to revisit Key West and I haven’t been to Lignumvitae Key (now a state park) since I was a kid. Have been pitching this trip as seeing the Keys one more time before they’re gone, and I hope we’re not too late.

  • Condor Chick #7 is freakin’ awesome (see bonus nice time at the top of the list…)

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • coozledad

      They’re gonna have to put a honeymoon stitch in that nostril.

  • Alexander Stallwitz
  • Me not sure

    If any Florida Wonkers need a place to stop and hunker down, Wife and I might be able to help for a few days. We have a small guest bedroom. I check in here regularly. Leave me a message and I’ll get you details on how to find us.

  • Zyxomma

    Thanks for that bonus nice time. Love it!

    • Perkniticky

      I learned something I did not previously know about sloth pooping habits. Yay!

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Is President Duterte personally going to kill his son like he has so many other peoples’ children?

  • Randall Stephens

    I guess there were hurricanes in 1900 and 1928 that packed more punch than Irma. That said, there were far few people and much less property in the path of those at that time.

  • BTW I’m still in St. Louis helping @KillerMartinis write about the Jason Stockley verdict. Here’s me doing my job… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f25e049420913bd5e0da7f9abf5306feac6aff75e7ebe2b0f1c688f930f7676e.jpg

  • nightmoth

    Greetings, resistance knaves! Here I am, back from a month in Scotland, and Trump is still El Presidente? Dang! We were in a pub last Sunday night listening to traditional music. When we left, we thanked the musicians, and when we told them where we were from, one guy joked, “Are you here seeking asylum?” In fact, we heard variations on that joke from practically everyone we met. A guy in Inverness thanked us for entertaining the rest of the world. Older people were not laughing, though. A retired British soldier asked if “that president of yours is going to start a world war.” We could only say we hoped not. Lots of people just asked “Why him? How did he get elected?” They knew about the electoral college, but they were bewildered that we went from Obama to Trump. They seemed hurt that we went from Obama: “quite a nice man”–to Trump, whom more than one bloke called “an idiot.” Everyone was philosophical though and pointed to Brexit as “we have our idiots, too.” It was very nice to be in a place where Trump was NOT in the news every day, and was largely regarded as a pesky insect.

  • thewalkindude

    Oh, Donnie, you’ll never measure up…

    The president, though, had one gripe, after his visit from the emir of Kuwait on Thursday afternoon. He was very impressed by the emir’s plane but noted that it was longer than his — maybe even by 100 feet.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    I think David Attenborough showed us the future that vegans want.

  • HorseChestnut

    Vox Day link? No thanks.

    • Yeah, sorry about that, it was more of a “Look, here’s what they’re *barf* doing.”

  • cleos_mom

    Having another Bonzo Ronnie in the Oval Office would not be good news.

    Of course, the 1980s were a more innocent time. Definition of a MIT: any decade that ended when the speaker was about 5 years old.

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