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Much first amendment. Wow. So free speeching.

Excellent news, America! Turns out that the First Amendment still mostly works, even if you’re a rich dude and you hire the lawyer who killed Gawker! Weird rightwinger Shiva Ayyadurai is this guy who’s running against Elizabeth Warren with the very witty slogan “It Takes a REAL Indian to Defeat a FAKE One” and who likes to insist that he personally invented email when he was a precocious 14-year-old.

The smartypantses at Techdirt have run several articles, going back to at least 2012, explaining that no, Ayyadurai did not invent email in 1978 — but he did invent and copyright the name of an email management system that he called “EMAIL,” which is actually a very different thing from inventing the very idea of electronic mail and patenting it.

Ayyadurai has a long history of suing media outfits who dispute his claim to have invented email — which actually predates the internet — and often often gets nice settlements because fighting a libel suit is damned expensive. He went after Techdirt with representation from attorney Charles Harder, who, with financial backing from bajillionaire Peter Thiel, helped murder Gawker in a 2016 invasion of privacy judgement. Wednesday, Ayyadurai’s $15 million defamation lawsuit against Techdirt got thrown out, perhaps with a certain amount of gusto, by a federal judge in Boston. US District Judge F. Dennis Saylor IV found that Techdirt and its founder/editor Michael Masnick were doing perfectly non-libelous First Amendmenting in the blog’s debunking of Ayyadurai’s claims, even if they said unkind things about him.

Tossing out Ayyadurai’s assertions that Techdirt had committed “libel, intentional interference with prospective economic advantage, and intentional infliction of emotional distress,” Judge Saylor wrote that Ayyadurai had failed to demonstrate any of those claims, and that the “plaintiff is a public figure for purposes of First Amendment law, and the complaint fails to plausibly allege either falsity or malice.” Saylor also denied Ayyadurai the opportunity to file an amended complaint.

Masnick, in a Wednesday post at Techdirt, celebrated the decision as “a big win for the First Amendment and free speech — especially the right to call out and criticize a public figure such as Shiva Ayyadurai[.]” Masnick also noted the judge had affirmed that, under the Communications Decency Act, Techdirt could not be held liable for comments made at the blog, which “cannot be attributed to us under the law.” (No, dear Terrible Ones, this is not an invitation to go libeling people in our comments, OK? We still have a commenting policy, so don’t go being jerks.)

Masnick wasn’t 100% happy with the full decision, however, since Judge Saylor denied Techdirt’s motion to strike the suit under California’s anti-SLAPP law, which could have forced Ayyadurai to pay Techdirt’s legal fees. Such laws — the acronym stands for “Strategic Lawsuit Against Public Participation” — are intended to protect against nuisance lawsuits designed to silence critics of the rich and powerful. Techdirt is located in California, so the motion had argued that California anti-SLAPP law should have applied even though Ayyadurai brought the suit in Massachusetts. Some courts have ruled that the laws of the state where the “speaker” is located should apply, but that issue hasn’t been addressed yet in the First Circuit.

The good news, however, is that Masnick has raised about $250,000 for his defense against Ayyadurai, with contributors all over the political spectrum, from lefty Craigslist founder Craig Newmark to rightwing but very libertarian billionaire Charles Koch, whom the First Amendment allows us to say sucks anyway.

A statement from Harder said Ayyadurai plans to appeal, because Techdirt was mean and wrong:

“Dr. Ayyadurai has a long history of standing up for free speech. As a strong proponent of free speech, he also believes in truthful speech,” Harder’s statement asserted. “False speech is not protected by the Constitution, and TechDirt’s false and malicious speech about Dr. Ayyadurai should receive no legal protection.”

At Techdirt, Masnick seemed pretty unworried, seeing as how he had reality on his side:

We pointed to the well documented public history of email, and how basically all of the components that Ayyadurai now claims credit for preceded his own work. We discussed how his arguments were, at best, misleading, such as arguing that the copyright on his program proved that he was the “inventor of email” — since patents and copyrights are very different, and just because Microsoft has a copyright on “Windows” it does not mean it “invented” the concept of a windowed graphical user interface (because it did not).

And Judge Saylor agreed with every bit of that, repeatedly noting that all of Techdirt’s claims were protected speech, so Techdirt can keep on calling Ayyadurai “The Guy Who Didn’t Invent Email” in headlines. It’s certainly a more memorable moniker than “The Guy Who Insisted On Speaking At A Rightwing Rally Not Even Mike Cernovich Wanted Anything To Do With.”

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Please click the “Donate” linky! No, not the “Defame” linky…

[Daily Beast / Techdirt / Ars Technica / Techdirt]

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  • dirkmcquickly

    No court in America would see someone reporting about his “email invention” claim because the distinction between the truth and the “but, I invented an email management program called “email” would never rise to the standard of Actual Malice necessary to win a libel judgment.

    • HogeyeGrex

      I didn’t think there was a court that would decide in favor of the Bundy sniper dude, what with the pictures of him sniping and all.

  • The Wanderer

    Is it libelous to call this fool a fool? Can I call him a hoofwanking bunglecunt?

    • jesterpunk

      Truth is a valid defense against a libel lawsuit…

    • MrTusks

      That’s a scurrilous accusation. There is absolutely no evidence that my client is, or ever has been, a wanker of hooves, nor that he is, or ever has, bungled a cunt. This manner of reckless and vexatious rhetoric has caused my client considerable damages, including but not limited to: hurt fee-fees, loss of imaginary jobs, penile inferiority disorder, and damage to his reputation as mommy’s special boy.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Your client has penile inferiority disorder. HAHAHAHAH!

        Now, sue me.

      • kbbaldwin2

        I believe we can introduce witnesses who will testify that your client had penile inferiority disorder well before the incident in question. ,

    • GoutMachine

      No, because that’s, like, your opinion, man.

  • Lizzietish81

    Al Gore should sue him, seeing as he invented the internet…

  • laughingnome

    I’ve already invented telepathy.

  • mailman27

    Bill Gates should team up with Phillip Glass and sue everybody’s house for having windows. And the creator of TV’s House should join the suit.

    • laughingnome

      The judge should sue they Navy since he’s already a Saylor.

  • (No, dear Terrible Ones, this is not an invitation to go libeling people in our comments, OK? We still have a commenting policy, so don’t go being jerks.)

    Well, there goes the horse fucking joke.

    • laughingnome

      Trigger libelz!!!11!!

    • Raan

      No one calls him Donald the Hotel Builder.

      • GoutMachine

        Love that joke. Best told when drunk.

    • Daniel

      I’d ask how a horse can fuck a joke but I fear answering will violate the rule.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Not Rule 34, though.

        • willi0000000

          amazingly enough . . . “violating” Rule 34 isn’t a violation of Rule 34.

  • goonemeritus

    I invented canned clams and I will sue any of you degenerates who say otherwise.

    • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

      YOU MONSTER!

      • AJ Milne

        I invented the ethernet…

        … the one you use to catch the Ether Bunny.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Does that mean you invented “Cat 5” (not the same thing as hurricane Cat 5)?

        • Eo Raptor

          I never did find my token after the last ethernet crash.

    • Maclare 🍩☕
    • puredog

      “Canned claims.” Please.

    • kbbaldwin2

      You invented canned clams and you are calling SOMEONE ELSE a degenerate? Talk about a lack of self awareness.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    And, since this is apparently not yet the OT, for which I’m saving a bit of raginess, I’ll have to note that “don’t go being” is a fine American linguistic structure that is sadly under-used, except maybe by some parents…

  • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

    This guy’s campaign rallies are going to be great. I’m going to go to everyone of them with a sign taunting him about his stupid claim to have invented email. Any and all suggestions are welcome.

  • whitroth

    Hey, you mean I can’t say that Donnie Trump is an insecure, sociopathic sexual predator, a contract-breaking racketeer, and probable money launderer, and who definitely shows incestuous tendencies, and add that if the Orange Doodie ever sees this post, that I INTENDED to cause him “emotional distress”? But Wonkette not be liable anyway….

    • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

      Truth is an absolute defense.

    • elviouslyqueer

      We’re also not suggesting for a minute that Donnie Two Scoops enjoys being peed on by Russian hookers, but for the preponderance of evidence saying that Donnie Two Scoops does indeed enjoy being peed on by Russian hookers. Mightily and repeatedly, also too.

    • kbbaldwin2

      As long as you don’t say that Donnie Trump is an insecure, sociopathic sexual predator, a contract-breaking racketeer, and probable money launderer, and who definitely shows incestuous tendencies you are golden.

  • jesterpunk

    Ray Tomlinson’s family or the company he worked for at the time Bolt Beranek and Newman or DISA should sue him for trying to take credit for work someone else did.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      There are probably three and a half people not reading these not-comments who know about BBN.
      — Former Varian Employee (User of MADVAX, back in the day)

      • Arolpin

        Hell, I was very conflicted about turning down a job at ANS after they got bought by AOL. On the one hand, it’s AS1. On the other hand, it’s AOL. Had they been able to provide me with @aol.com I probably would have accepted, when they said the best they could do was @aol.com, I walked. The job probably would have been great (until they moved it to DC about 9 months later), but having a @aol.com email address would have been better. Especially since I would have never used it.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Absolutely and stuff!

      • gedjcj

        I guess I count as the half, since I know the history but missed that part of the revolution by a few years.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Good for the judge for finding that every fact that Ayyadurai cited was wrong. So how the hell is that not the definition of a SLAPP suit? Because it sure as hell sounds like intimidation to me.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Having not read the decision I bet it’s that California law does not apply to this suit in Massachusetts… But whether now a new SLAPP suit filed in California….

      • SayItWithWookies

        Oh — d’oh. I read that paragraph and somehow it just didn’t register. Thank you.

    • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

      Massachusetts has shitty anti-SLAPP law. Although I would have liked to see this asshole pay techdirt’s legal fees, I think the judge was not wrong to apply Massachusetts law as that is where the shitheel and his shitheel reputation are domiciled.

  • whitroth

    Oh, and why did you edit the pic, so that we can’t see the cat dictating to the dog what to type…?

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Cat Union Rules.

      Probably Dog Union has similar rules, too.

  • FlownΩver

    But maybe Mictosoft invented the concept of an opening in a wall, with or without a glass insert.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Defenestration LIBEL!

      *rushes to phone, calls Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe.*

      • Arolpin

        Probably should ask to speak with the Prague office.

        • kbbaldwin2

          Ouch!

  • Vincent Ricola

    I invented peanut butter cups and will sue anyone who tries to claim different.

    • MizzMazz

      Thanks for doing that.

    • NastyBossetti

      You’re a true hero.

    • Bitter Scribe

      Did you first get the peanut butter in the chocolate, or vice versa?

      • Vincent Ricola

        Trade secret.

    • BeachBum

      I invented the Frisbee by scraping dead, dried, flat frogs off the road in summer heat, but Wham-O didn’t believe me. Couldn’t afford a lawyer. I was 6.

      • kbbaldwin2

        You had frogs? We had to get by with dried cow flops.

  • Panika MCD

    OT – just finished that TX House Urban Affairs hearing and about to listen to a related one.

    no one knows anyone who has received anything from the Red Cross related to renovation, rebuilding or rental assistance that was promised to them. when I got done with the hearing, saw several other people who were saying the same thing without knowing about the hearing. I don’t have a problem with a non-profit ED making six figures. I have a problem with a non-profit raising hundreds of millions for a specific purpose and then keeping people in shelters by refusing to distribute the funds they promised to distribute. three reps were asking the GLO, “WHERE IS THE MONEY, LEBOWSKI?!”

    http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/aggr.gif

    • Beanz&Berryz

      This, sadly, seems to be a problem… And, I LIKE(d) the Red Cross.. given them gallons of blood… taught swimming, lifeguarded, tended, cleaned, bandaged more than a few messies, thanks to learning from them… but… they’ve gotten bad about disaster moneyz…

      • Panika MCD

        not to mention who they send to small communities that I guess they don’t give a shit about.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Ugh… I wish they could figure it out and fix themselves… They used to be one of my, like, bedrock solid Good Guys…

      • Courser_Resistance

        My friend who’s there for the Red Cross has had some difficulties and is returning home tomorrow. Not because of the problems, he’s done his 2 weeks for now and may go back.

        I’ve known the Red Cross to get kicked out of shelter management because their policies and procedures are so rigid. There’s lots of things that can go wrong.

        FEMA should be distributing some cash cards and vouchers whether or not the Red Cross is doing anything. Are people getting money from FEMA? They should be.

        • Panika MCD

          some, but FEMA is almost out of money between the hurricane and the wildfires. who knows what they will have for Irma.

          HOWEVER, the Red Cross has been telling people they will distribute funds for rental assistance and housing renovations/rebuilds and no one has seen that. they should not be raising money they do not intend to distribute. I don’t care what FEMA’s job is–they have a set budget, they can’t just start a text number that takes funds. the Red Cross raised money off people’s good will and this was one of the things they were telling people to get that money–it was even on their advertisements in grocery lines (which they even fucking put in Houston grocery stores like a bunch of assholes). someone is going to get sued for false advertising if they keep this shit up.

          • Courser_Resistance

            I’m sorry, if I knew someone to call, I would. I don’t recall Red Cross distributing funds for rent & reconstruction before – have they always done this? I’m sorry I’m so ignorant about them. All my studies were on the Fed side of things. FEMA’s money is coming… Turtleface actually about doubled the FEMA funds in the Senate bill from what had been previously mentioned in light of Irma.

            I’m perplexed about the Red Cross thing and will see if I can dig into it from my end. I know a few peeps locally.

          • Panika MCD

            yes, they have said they would distribute funds for that purpose before. they said that during Katrina. have they ever done so? no one has any evidence to support that.

            the other thing is: FEMA can reimburse you for your hotel stay and they can buy you a tarp to put over the hole in your roof. they do not do rental assistance or reconstruction. that’s over at HUD in the Community Development Block Grant – Disaster Recovery program…which is that $7.8B they added onto the $8B for FEMA in the funding package being proposed right now.

            please do dig into it because people are sick of this shit. they did an alright job on running the shelters in Houston and Austin, but raising funds that they are not going to distribute for the purpose they said they were raising them for is fucking horse shit–and the way they have treated some of the smaller communities, especially the volunteers in those communities who are stepping up when they don’t have homes either, is unmitigated ELEPHANT SHIT!

          • Courser_Resistance

            I’ve done some poking around and can find nothing that ARC distributes money directly for anything. They’re the primary agency in charge of ESF #6 Sheltering and Mass Care and components of ESF #8 Public Health and Medical Services (Mostly Public Health in Shelters & Psychological First Aid)

            ARC really provides fairly limited, focused services. Mass Care and Sheltering is their primary function but no healthcare services beyond a band-aid. While they teach first aid, they don’t provide it as part of disaster response. They provide meals, primarily for sheltered folks. The emergency response vans may provide a few hot meals, but generally only snack-ish stuff, water, hygiene kits, blankets, etc. It’s generally a standard package of stuff packed into those white buckets you see.

            But no mention anywhere, either on Wikipedia (shut up, they’re a decent source for the basics) and the ARC website about direct cash assistance. I also did a basic Google search but can’t find anyplace where ARC directly provided cash/voucher assistance for rent and/or reconstruction. Those funds are usually dispersed through Fed agencies.

            If ARC themselves are saying that ARC is supplying the cash, I really don’t think that’s correct. They will help you access the agency to make your claims, but I think that’s as far as it goes.

            ARC is really pissy about what it does and doesn’t do. They don’t have a good track record here in CO either. My org had to take over shelter management at the last minute during the 2013 floods because the county sheriff and Emergency Manager threw ARC out because their rules were far too rigid to work in our situation. Very few people needed overnight shelter. What they needed was a waystation where they could stay dry & chill while friends & relatives came to get them, sometimes from hours away.

            I’m so very sorry to have to pass along this information and I’ll be delighted if I’m wrong. I don’t volunteer for them because Ugh! but I have a friend who is an ARC volunteer in Houston who’s returning tomorrow. I can check with him then if he’s not too exhausted.

            All that being said, ARC does give money to *other* orgs that may provide the cash assistance you’re referring to. I just have no idea who that might be. I think they also sometimes contribute money to community projects.

            At the same time, misinformation needs to get cleared up ASAP. Right now, based on what I’ve read and know so far, ARC doesn’t provide individual/family cash for either rent or reconstruction.

          • Panika MCD

            not sure what “ESF” is because that acronym for me is “Economic Stabilization Fund” which people mislabeled “Rainy Day Fund”. please explain.

            according to people on the ground it is on the fliers asking people to give in grocery stores (I go to HEB, so I’m giving to their disaster relief team and the food banks when I donate at the register), but given their rigid rules I would think a) they would pre-approve the fliers or have ones they require already and b) would discourage fundraising in a disaster zone.

            the aid would fall under community grant assistance in some cases so maybe better understanding how that is working would be great. however, I find it hard to believe that the head of BLMHOU and 3 state reps were asking this question on the same day if they didn’t have it from staff. I definitely don’t think the vols are spreading this info and HEB is using info from the State Bar, so they’re not suggesting it to people they’re providing financial services to (which I have never heard of ARC providing) either.

          • Courser_Resistance

            Ack, cursed Federal acronyms:

            ESF – Emergency Support Function under the National Response Framework.

            That’s basically the bible for Federal Emergency Response. There are 15 Emergency Support Functions for different types of response.

            Below is a link to the National Response Framework Emergency Support Function download page. You probably only need #6 but you can get whatever interests you. Under the guidelines HUD is the agency that will provide rent and reconstruction assistance. For an example there appears to be an emergency roof replacement program.

            It’s directly from the FEMA website, so it’s the most up-to-date info there is. I’m hoping this is helpful but we all know that stuff rarely goes the way it’s supposed to.

            https://www.fema.gov/media-library/assets/documents/25512

          • Panika MCD

            that’s basically what they were talking about: FEMA gives you a tarp to cover the hole in the roof until HUD gives you the funds for a new roof. still trying to figure out the community projects aspect of ARC, if it fits and if they’re giving the funds to other groups (like Habitat for Humanity) to spend.

          • kbbaldwin2

            “cursed Federal acronyms”. Hereafter pleas use the correct term – CFA. :

    • Red Bird

      Yeah. I specifically don’t’ give to Red Cross because I’ve been told by people affected by Rita and Ike that Red Cross gave them a bucket and a mop then said “good luck”. There are better organizations to help disaster victims through.

      • Panika MCD

        like Coastal Bend CAN for your area!

  • calliecallie

    Wasn’t this the plot of an episode of Silicon Valley last season?

    • OutOfOrbit

      “Silicon Valley” … is that what they’re calling Ms(s) tRumps’ cleavage now?

      • elviouslyqueer

        No no. That’s her cheekbones. Death Valley is her cleavage. And the Dead Sea is her no-no place.

        • puredog

          “Dead C,” please.

        • OutOfOrbit

          she has a “no-no” place”? do all the pool-bouys know that?

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        That’s “Silicone Valley”, FIFY.

  • lucidamente

    Elizabeth Warren attracts the best in opponents: Scott Brown, Curt Schilling, and now this douchenozzle.

    • Moebym of the Returners

      She doesn’t even have to run ads, because her opponents are so good at tanking their own candidacies.

    • Bitter Scribe

      Is he the official Republican nominee, or what? What happened to Schilling?

      • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

        I think he’s the only idiot (so far) dumb enough to think he could win.

  • Yeah well, I still invented Post-Its.

    (1 free internet to anyone who gets that reference…)

    • laughingnome

      Romey an d Michelle

    • Vincent Ricola

      “No offense, Michele, but how in the world did you think of Post-Its?”

    • BeachBum

      ” Meet my friend Barney. He invented the rotary engine”

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I invented Velcro. Except that I didn’t. I was 233 microseconds late filing the fucking patent.

    • Paul Dietzel

      Romy and Michelle invented Post-Its until Heather Moody spilled the beans.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    Thanks for the spam, arsehole.

  • MizzMazz

    OT, but LOLOLOL:
    https://thegeekygaeilgeoir.wordpress.com/2017/09/06/even-racists-got-the-blues/

    Moral of the story: Never try to do your own translations.

    • arglebargle

      Happy nice time read people.

      • MizzMazz

        Rest of the blog has some fun reads in it also. I love stories of bad tattoos in other languages.

    • Jamoche

      Or have your tattoo artist do them: http://hanzismatter.blogspot.com

      • MizzMazz

        Oh yeah, that’s funny too. I’ve seen a blog for Hebrew and Sanskrit tats as well. Makes for some good chuckles when the rest of this shit gets too heavy.

    • Courser_Resistance

      That’s all kinds of awesome!

    • kareemachan

      Thanks for this – made me smile.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Epic!

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Each language has its unique syntax and semantics. And the syntax and semantics can’t always be separated into distinct rule sets. Therefore, a mere parser/generator program is not going to successfully translate between any two languages. You need various kinds of AI trickery to do that.

      Okay, I probably pissed off a computer guru or Noam Chomsky wannabe, so if that’s the case, well, bite me.

      ETA: Human languages, not computer languages, okay?

      • Meccalopolis

        Language capacity is biological but language is embedded in culture ad a functional construct. Chomsky wouldn’t argue with the above analysis

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Good, good. {{{wiping sweat off of forehead}}}

  • cheetojeebus

    I’m going to wait for Moss to explain this shit to me.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDbyYGrswtg

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Oh… with my glasses on I see that it’s NOT Moses you’re waiting to hear from…

    • BeachBum

      They should do that show again!

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        they did ONE final episode after it “ended”, just to wrap everything up – it may be on Netflix still.

      • cheetojeebus

        The older series Black Books is similarly funny, by the same writer/director

    • The Librarian

      Loved that show.

    • Persistent Demme

      Perfection!

  • The Librarian

    I’m sure Ayyadurai wasn’t trying to confuse anyone by saying he invented EMAIL with email. What a fucking loser. He’s right up there with patent trolls.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    OT – A friend of mine put up a working remote message board – a great-granddaddy of blogs much like our beloved Wonkette – on his home computer (a Commodore 64!) in 1984. I’ve always been impressed by that.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      One dial-in connection at a time?

      • Lance Thrustwell

        You betcha! Phone coupler.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          I bet his Dad LOVED to try to call home…

          • Lance Thrustwell

            Ha! I remember that now. He and his friends could only use it certain times of day.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            That’s Old School…

          • Jamoche

            My house was built in 1994 and has the amazing mod-con of two built-in phone lines – one for your modem!

          • kbbaldwin2

            After a couple of months of hearing weird sounds every time we wanted to make a phone call, we told Baldwin the Younger if he wanted to connect before midnight he had to get his own line. And he did.

    • arglebargle

      But were you allowed to leave a comment? And what about pants?

      • Lance Thrustwell

        I tried it, and I thought it was magic! (do I mean using the board, or removing my pants? I’m not telling).

      • bubbuhh

        Commodores and Amigas were too cramped for underwear, let alone pants.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          So what’s my excuse? {waggles eyebrows}.

        • Teecha

          Pants are underwear! Wait a minute…

          Have I been wonking all wrong with this transatlantic misunderstanding of not wearing ‘pants’?

          • bubbuhh

            In USA we wears pants on the outsides of our smallclothes. Of course, we elected Donald Trump to be the First Person Shooter of the Whole Match so we might be getting that wrong 2 also.

          • Teecha

            I do *know* that your meaning of pants diverges from mine… but only when I think about it. So when I read that someone else is pant-free and wonking, I just assume that they’re in the nuddy.

            I live in a desert. Pants are rare inside my flat. Unless guests are present.

            Fun fact- in the early-mid 90s, pants was a judgment of something that was a bit crap. But a word you could say in front of your mum, which crap wasn’t. Eg: this man’s plan make money by suing to claim he invented email is a bit pants.

          • Persistent Demme

            Oh, yes.
            When we lived in London, my daughter’s best friend was English.
            One day, we heard, “HE DOESN’T!!” coming from her room.
            She had just told him that when her dad comes home from the office, he takes off his pants.

      • doktorzoom

        I invented pants.

        • Paul

          Yeahhhh…that’s the ticket.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Beat me by several years. My company (that failed) ran a BBS in the early nineties until the innertubes made it unnecessary. We used it for software project people to communicate and send files back and forth from their home offices. it was pretty cool back in the day.

    • Persistent Demme

      Mr. Demme’s company had an email precursor called Box 666, (so funny!) and they used to “right prn.” (parentheses) each other, (kinda like slow texting) way back in the 70’s.

    • kbbaldwin2

      My son had one on his 64 at about the same time. I recall thinking, “Well that is certainly useless”.

  • therblig

    i invented a device that will easily transfer fish from one seine to another. so, unless you’re going to pay me royalties, please cease and desist from using the term “internet”.

    i’m currently working on another one involving spiders.

    • Bitter Scribe

      Yeah, well, I invented the netting inside swim trunks. That’s the real internet.

      • Infrequentcontributor

        I think that may be innernet. :-p

        • Jamoche

          That might be a pelvic mesh – something I have refrained from googling, despite the number of ambulance chaser ads about it that I’ve seen.

          • Daniel

            The pelvic mesh really drives me insane.

          • Teecha

            Let’s do the time warp agaaaain?

          • Bobathonic

            It’s just a jump to the left.

          • Teecha

            You don’t want to go anywhere near pelvic mesh. I read about the case in Oz against the manufacturers. If anyone deserves to step on a lifetime of Lego, it’s them.

    • MrTusks

      Can you estimate, using the planet as a unit of measurement, the breadth of this spider net?

  • arglebargle
  • Daniel

    I never saw a computer before I was born. That’s pretty conclusive proof I invented them.

  • ManchuCandidate

    I am trying to patent FACEBOOK but Zuckerberg hasn’t replied to my EMAIL.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Weird rightwinger Shiva Ayyadurai is this guy who’s running against Elizabeth Warren with the very witty slogan “It Takes a REAL Indian to Defeat a FAKE One”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1773a322914fb904f96a2e4ad501640c1349d18455b0592667713324bd62c437.jpg

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Given that if Warren is indeed 1/64th Cherokee, she’s legit as far as the Cherokee are concerned.

      • Rick Hill

        Snopes dissected and discredited the claim that she made the claim, as well.

      • Jamoche

        Statistically if you’re white and have enough ancestors in the US to count as 1/64 anything, there’s very good odds one of them isn’t white. Usually great-great-grandmas because exogamy.

        • Thiazin Red

          It checks out, one of my great great grandmothers was a blackfoot.

          • Unhappy Fingers

            Ayyadurai’s claim of inventing Email is to me about as valid as me claiming to be part Blackfoot because of my habit of going barefoot in my house of dirty floors.

        • Courser_Resistance

          I’m an 1/8 Santee from my Grandfather’s mother. For ages everyone was told she was ‘French’ and I think the members of my grandmother’s side of the family never knew otherwise.

        • jesterpunk

          Trump’s grandfather was draft dodger and he dodged the draft too,it seems it works for other things too.

  • Mpeg

    Pulitzers, Nobel’s and kudos to the person who can uninvent someone. Whoops I meant something. Did I imply someone out there has grounds to be uninvented? Just ignore me…

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Ayyadurai also claims to have invented cardboard, asparagus and oral sex. Not in that order.

    • Jamoche

      Well, no. Because if you invent asparagus first, you’ll never get near oral sex.

      • Teecha

        Yep. Asparagus is so delicious. It would have to be some pretty fucking good oral sex to distract me from it.

        But then again… could do both I s’pose.

    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      Shiva Ayyadurai performs oral sex on asparagus, and also on cardboard.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Masnick, in a Wednesday post at Techdirt, celebrated the decision as “a big win for the First Amendment and free speech — especially the right to call out and criticize a public figure such as Shiva Ayyadurai[.]”

    Is that Donald Trump I hear whimpering in fear in the corner?

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    I’d call Ayyadurai an immoral little shit and a rabid weasel, but apparently I can’t libel poop or rabid weasels in this here mommyblog anymore. *pouty face*

    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      Shiva Ayyadurai eats poop. Did you know? Absolutely true.

  • Mahousu

    The first RFC I found specifically on email is RFC 196, which dates to July, 1971. Email was already around then; this was simply a proposal to create an email system based on the protocols they were developing at the time. Pretty sure 1971 is a bit before 1978.

    • Permit-holder Ron

      Ah, but that just proves he invented it when he was seven!

    • Internet Hitler

      I invented 1971.

    • Teecha

      I remember an episode of Dallas or Dynasty (were they even different shows?) where a character says she’ll use the electronic mail to send over a contract. I remember asking my dad what that meant.
      That was many years ago.

  • Rick Hill

    So, what about false speech about being an Indian, implying feather, not red dot? And, of course, ignoring what is perhaps the most asshatish, wtf actual campaign slogan, ever.

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
    • Villago Delenda Est

      It’s precisely what the scum of Infowars deserve.

    • Teecha

      It could only be better if her answer to ‘who taught you that language’ was ‘your mum’ rather than her own mother.

      • James Baskin

        “Who taught you that language?”
        “You mean English?” would have been best.

      • Bobathonic

        “Joe. Joe Mama taught me that.”

    • Bobathonic

      Wow, he sounds like he needs to find a safe space.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Poor little snowflake.

    • Fun with Cthulhu

      I don’r know why you’re an idiot; maybe you should be asking yourself that question.

    • Andy_Kreiss

      InfoWars Snowflake seemed triggered by words.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Ayyadurai is one of those sorts of people who challenge the Commenting Rules for Radicals in that the optimal way to deal with them is the rocketship to the sun scenario.

    • doktorzoom

      Nicely handled

  • Rick Hill

    Whining and crying about being called out on his asshattery. Yup, he’s got all the markings of a successful conservative.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      He’s going places… IN HELL!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    The mother of Monkee Mike Nesmith, Bette, was the inventor of Liquid Paper correction fluid. For reelz.

    • Rick Hill

      But, in fairness, she was only trying to invent a way to do a little huffing while at the office.

    • laughingnome

      She was a daydream believer and a homecoming queen too.

    • TimResistit

      I wasn’t a believer in this until I saw her face. Now I am.

    • marxalot

      And from Dallas!

    • clubseal

      The other day, I was interviewing a guy and he mentioned that he used to travel around with his musician cousin, and that allowed him to meet all these rock stars. I didn’t think to ask because the article had nothing to do with music, but one of my coworkers later told me that his cousin was Mike Nesmith. Mind blown.

    • chazmanr

      Yes, and the reason why he never did any of the tours after the show ended and he collected his inheritance. He didn’t need the money and didn’t want to continue to be a fake musician in a fake band. Instead he went into making esoteric art films.

    • george lastrapes

      Hedy Lamar invented a coding device for submarine warfare in WWII!

      • doktorzoom

        The same tech is an essential part of how cell phones work: http://www.women-inventors.com/Hedy-Lammar.asp

        • Unhappy Fingers

          Yep. Frequency hopping which Lamar and Antheil invented begat Spread-spectrum which begat the modulation method Code-Division Multiple Access (CDMA) which is used in both CDMA and GSM cell phones. (LTE too, for that matter.)

        • george lastrapes

          Yea, though I had doubted His very being, Dok smiteth me not with His Banhammer of Justice. May He also forgive mine insolence.

        • little miss high and mighty

          thank you- brave link,dok

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Hedy Lamar sure makes my torpedoes go straight.

        • Rags

          Hedy? Oh, I thought you said Hedly!

      • Little Lulu Ω

        And she invented the bouillon cube.

        • george lastrapes

          The bouillon cube has been around longer than that. In classical Vulgarian the word ‘truhmphli’ means both ‘bouillon cube’ and ‘dingleberry’.

          • Little Lulu Ω

            You’re right. Her bio says, “Lamarr’s inventing talents didn’t stop there, though: she also came up with ‘bouillon’ cubes to turn water into a Coke-like drink.”

          • george lastrapes

            I remember those in the 50’s! Space-age soda pills! Built-in fizzy! We entered a brave new world of nausea. Tried them once, told Mom hell no, and (maybe) fed them to the possums.

          • Little Lulu Ω

            I’ll go with “dingleberry” where any word remotely connected to the origin of “Trump” is concerned.

      • Persistent Demme

        Drop dead gorgeous, too.

        “Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.”–Hedy Lamarr

        http://www.hedylamarr.com/photos/

      • little miss high and mighty

        Interesting theatrical skills, and Antheil’s music is way underappreciated.Heroes AND artists.

        • george lastrapes

          She’s always been an ideal to me. Women that smart and that beautiful (and witty, don’t forget)- and almost a victim of the Nazis. What a life she had.

          • little miss high and mighty

            Too good for slimy Hollywood and too big a risk abroad, plus, too she was like busy as hell all the time and ol Georg, a perfectionist- what a pair! Hope they never , ever try filming this story.

    • doktorzoom

      Very true! And a Boise tow-truck company, Nesmith Brothers Towing, is owned by relatives of the Liquid Paper Nesmiths.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    rightwing but very libertarian billionaire Charles Koch, whom the First Amendment allows us to say sucks anyway

    We’re on solid ground with this one…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f2efba746b4d7d318dfd97e7acde95091773789d18f4c89db7c99ad8e678d4c7.jpg

  • Thiazin Red

    The major difference being that Gawker was 100% in the wrong guilty, and Techdirt was not. Its not because of free speech, its because both cases have an obviously correct verdict.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I invented Flubber.

  • Internet Hitler

    But did Microsoft invent holes in walls, which are sometimes filled with glass?

    • natoslug

      They may not have invented them, but they sure as fuck have been the cause of quite a few fist, head, and monitor-sized holes.

  • TimResistit

    I actually was the man that that put the bop in the bop shoo bop shoo bop, and then in Phase II, put the dip in the dip da dip da dip. So, I got that going for me.

    • puredog

      If you did not put the “ram” in the “rama lama ding dong,” however, you ain’t shit.

      • george lastrapes

        Did you put the ‘poo’ into ‘poodle’, or the ‘rot’ into ‘rottweiler’?

    • LucindathePook

      Id like to shake your hand.

  • OrG

    Typical right-wing snowflake.

  • Internet Hitler

    I created Cable.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Liefeld.

  • Crystalclear12

    Too much whine not enough cheese.

  • eastcoastlib

    “{(No, dear Terrible Ones, this is not an invitation to go libeling people in our comments, OK? We still have a commenting policy, so don’t go being jerks.)”

    We are the keepers of the non-jerk flame. Like those priests who’ve been protecting The Church of the Holy Sepulchre for 800 to 2000 years depending on who you ask. Let the jerks know we are ready to do snark battle should they invade or if we allowed comments.

  • weejee

    Does Masnick have short vulgar fingers and other short parts like the OSG.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    “inventor of email ‘Email’”

    might have fixed this – but this claim is still misleading, no? Especially given it’s likely to confuse a reader/consumer?

    • efoveks

      Remember those times on ebay when people would post up what looked like an item for auction and then send just the picture of the item to the winner? Then these same people started getting sued in small claims and arrested for theft…. good times, good times. I wonder how many were related to this useless fuck.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        They’re still at it, showing a pic of a box for an item and hoping you don’t notice that you’re buying a box. “Apple 27″ iMac, 16 GB, 1TB HDD, original box.”

        • efoveks

          If it’s being posted by a Nigerian prince, I’ll eat my hat.

  • chazmanr

    “False speech is not protected by the
    Constitution, and TechDirt’s false and malicious speech about Dr.
    Ayyadurai should receive no legal protection.”

    If that were true, Fox News wouldn’t exist. False speech is completely protected by the Constitution. The government cannot limit speech simply, because it is false. That by no means implies that anti-libel and slander laws are invalid. However, this jackload decided to run for public office and that removes a lot of his protections against being slandered or libeled. FUCK HIM!

    • Bobathonic

      Didn’t Fox get that established by the courts?

      • chazmanr

        Yes, as a side issue in a wrongful termination suit, Fox did in fact set the precedent that “news” organizations can pretty much lie with impunity. Canadian law is not so forgiving which is why Fox is not allowed to broadcast there.

        • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

          Wrong, Fox won by denying that its “product” is news.

          • javadavis

            And yet the caption still calls it “Fox News”. Very meta.

          • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

            Indeed.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            It’s just an alternative spelling of “Faux”.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Well, we actually used to have a Fairness Doctrine that applied to all broadcast news, until St. Ronnie did away with it. (Lee Atwater repented for everything on his deathbed but it was too little too late.) Fox News skirted it, and any other accusations of “false news” by defining themselves legally NOT as a “news” organization but as an “entertainment” network. It still shouldn’t be allowed.

  • NotDarkYet

    OT, but more excellent news: all three of my fur monsters have seen the vet and have been declared in excellent health!

    The new vet assistant wanted to help with the carrier to get them over to the mobile vet van, and when he tried to pick up Thunder’s carrier, I could almost hear his back going ckrrrakkkk…I suspect he wasn’t ready for the carrier to be quite so heavy. He had to put the thing down and try again, this time lifting with his knees, not his back.

    Thunder has now broken the 20 pound barrier (he weighs 20.4 pounds!)…

    • Mildred Broxon

      Good for them (and you).
      On the same topic, my cat’s life was despaired of on Tuesday. Tomorrow she comes home from the vet. Few more lives left (by the time I got her she had already lost her right arm).

      • NotDarkYet

        Oh no! What happened?

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        I am so glad she is ok. My younger not Senile but mildly psychotic cat got her annual vet checkup. Looks like she might be hyperthyroid (she has been losing weight and has taken to scratching my scalp and squalling in my ear in the middle of the night) but that can be helped.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      I love Thunder. I too had a behemoth cat, my sweet big boy Buster, who ruled the roost and followed me around everywhere and slept with me and on me and along me, who also loved to LEAP out at me from under tables, front paws outstretched and an absolute look of catty glee on his furry face. I was another cat, to whom he was clearly dominant.

      He actually chased me into a closet once (he was big eyed and making those mrrrrooOOO sounds at me and I panicked). I tried to close the door, it wouldn’t close all the way, so he put his enormous big eyes RIGHT UP TO THE crack of the door, mrrrroooOOOOing at me, I completely had mouse-POV, had to yell for my husband who years later still laughs at me for it.

      OH! and I have a carrier story, too–took him to the vet (staggering in under the weight of him and his affronted meowls). Tipped the carrier so he’d come out, and he REFUSED TO BUDGE. I mean, I ended up tipping the carrier vertically and he BRACED HIMSELF WITH HIS PAWS! The vet and I were howling with laughter. We actually had to dismantle the cat carrier, unscrew the top, to Buster’s extremely haughty disapproval. The second the vet was finished with the indignity of the exam, Buster spotted his now topless-carrier on the floor and did a literal swan-dive off the table into it. I AM STILL LAUGHING. WHAT a good boy he was. Lord of the Mansion. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/14993da4b56a0fb187851098a3f3f59db8c7a166f3f9eb622d27816e3f5ba940.jpg https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fd722a316221e6405fa6d1fd6bf363761148b6c7fa68a0b055c66dbc7c58c3bd.jpg

      • efoveks

        AWESOME!!!!! :D

      • NotDarkYet

        OMG! That first picture tells Buster’s story perfectly! I can almost HEAR him say something like “bring me da tuna, servant!” And on the second one “never-mind, servant, I’ll take what I want from this here cold box!” … shoves aside cans and containers until he sees the rib-eye you’ve been saving for later that day!

        Did you ever hear of the people who had to call 911 because their cat had them trapped in the bedroom and wouldn’t allow them to leave? That’s hard to live down, esp once you hear the 911 call! LOL Blessedly, you had your hubby to help you out!

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          Yes, exactly! He was SUCH a character.

          And yes, I totally saw that, and, being a cat lady, also saw Jackson Galaxy’s follow up visit. They had NO idea how to deal with a cat–they’d KICKED IT! The cat was in the right!

          • NotDarkYet

            I’m always rooting for the cat/dog but esp in the 911 case. I think they also had kids that pulled the cat’s tail. Yeah, and the kicking…that was the last straw. Kitty was prob thinking: It ends here; it ends today!

            Some people, like my neighbor (whom I rescued Goldie from), have no business having animals (other than roaches).

            And when I hear of bullfighters getting gored in the ring, I’m high-fiving the bull, mentally. Ditto for lions eating “big-game hunters” (aka dickless assholes).

          • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

            I couldn’t agree with you more. I love Kitty thinking “It ends here. It ends today.” Have you seen this? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e6c07fe9e1b355695af4bc6595c6f767f77700984a414118bbc456d02023cdeb.jpg

          • NotDarkYet

            No, I don’t think I’ve seen this … I’ve been laughing so loudly I’ve been scaring the cats!

            LOLLOL “allergies” that is too cute!!!

            I think KatKat musta read this too because she tries to trip me at the exact moment I have something to carry and/or I am on the stairs!

            P.S. are you familiar with the “Dear Kitten” commercials that Friskies does?
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yNSF7ljOoU

          • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

            HILARIOUS!!!!

          • NotDarkYet

            I keep hoping they keep making more of these; I think they are up to … what? Eight?

          • SeeTrain65

            “My captor tried to take a photo of me today, likely for blackmail purposes. I foiled his fiendish plot by turning my head and walking away.”

          • kbbaldwin2
          • NotDarkYet

            That looks to be a Bengal cat. Just to be on the safe side, Dr. Schrödinger, I’d finish up that thought experiment, and go stay with a neighbor for a few days. :)

  • BadKitty904

    I guess, after a while, being crazy really $tart$ to add up…

  • LesBontemps

    Hey Donald Trump, how’s that “opening up the libel laws” coming along? What? I can’t hear you for all the First Amendment in the way!

  • chazmanr

    so Techdirt can keep on calling Ayyadurai “The Guy Who Didn’t Invent Email” in headlines.

    Sort of how Wonkette refers to Jim Hoft, “The Dumbest Man on the Internet”.

    • doktorzoom

      precisely. Truth is an absolute defense.

      • Lefty Wright

        I don’t know. There can be a lot of legitimate debate about the dumbest person on the internet. Although I will give Hoft a spot in the top five dumbest. Just imagine a trial on a lawsuit by Hoft and the examples he would raise citing people even dumber. It would give you enough material to write about for the rest of the year, though. Maybe the rest of the decade.

        • efoveks

          It’s a truthful belief which is generally okay.

        • javadavis

          From what I understand of philosophy, the definition of a thing is the first step in, er, describing/analyzing the thing. Thus, there would be “dumbest” and “on the internet” to be defined to start with. Ignorant =/= dumb, so showing an ability to learn would put a contender for the title out of the running. Also, “on the internet” can be narrowly defined according to the platform the contender has access to, in spite of his (“man” being a term I choose to define as “male human of a certain age”) dumbness.

        • doktorzoom

          Not to mention the intense nausea!

      • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

        Especially when the plaintiff is a public figure, as the judge pointed out. The bar for demonstrating libel is far higher for someone in the public eye than for a private citizen.

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    Ayyadurai: The douchebag who claims to have invented email.

    Sue me, douchebag.

  • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude

    Patent troll or just troll?

    • doktorzoom

      More of a SLAPP troll, since he has no patent at all on email. He got a copyright on the name “email” in 1978.

      • Rotting Tree

        not in Australia though, that name was already in use. “Email Limited was a manufacturing conglomerate operating mainly in Australia.
        The company was formed from the merger of Electricity Meter Manufacturing Co Pty Ltd, established in 1912, and New System Telephones Pty Ltd, established in 1920. The company was incorporated in New South Wales on 30 November 1934 as Electricity Meter & Allied Industries Ltd; it adopted the Email name (an acronym) on 20 October 1951. Email’s original and longest running business is the manufacturing of electric, gas and water meters. At one time there would have been few houses in Australia which did not have an Email meter.”

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          An Email meter is just what we need to put an end to spam. They were too far ahead of their time.

        • doktorzoom

          Watch out, dude’s gonna sue you now.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      Patently a troll.

  • La forza del resistino

    The Pocahontas slur always confuses me. If the legend is true, she was an American heroine.

    • VirginiaWackelpudding

      It’s a compliment not an insult.

  • The real fun bit is this guy was all set to speak at the “free speech!!!!” rally in Boston.
    And he sues people using their free speech.
    Lolz

  • persistently_resistant_gayby

    Worst Indian IT guy ever along with Ajit Pai..

  • Grokenstein

    In the interest of fairness: Gawker freely distributed the tools used in its death, then stretched its neck across the chopping block and dared its enemies to come at it bro. (And judging from recent visits, its surviving offspring have refused to learn a damned thing.)

    • BreakingDeadMen

      They deserved to die just because of whatever that Kristen Cavilera Rusticana or whomever thing that thing was

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Not that I think the first amendment should be limited to people who practice basic human decency, but the level of vicious chan-level shit coming out of their ‘journalists’ to justify and make holy that horrific shit show with the gay not-public-figure brother of someone and his psychotic wingnut blackmailer was indefensible.

      You don’t want to go into a libel suit with indefensible hanging around your neck.

      But then, since Jordan Sargent (the blackmailer’s buddy) has moved on to a comfy spot at Spin, there’s really no moral here at all.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Hey hey hey now. You’re among the surviving offspring, bub.

  • Stranded Devonian Lungfish

    I worked at the company mentioned in the linked article (Bolt Beranek & Newman). Ray Tomlinson was a lovely, humble, generous, brilliant man. Every time I read about Shiva and his preposterous claim, I feel physically ill (and very stabby).

    • SkinlessGenderlessMan

      Ever read “Where Wizards Stay Up Late”? How did you find its level of documentary veracity?

      • Stranded Devonian Lungfish

        Those BBNers who were interviewed by Katie Hafner felt she told their stories accurately. I loved the book.

  • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

    I created life and death, by which I mean I tore a sheet of paper in two and dubbed one half “LIFE” and the other “DEATH”. Therefore, I am God, and I will sue anyone who says otherwise.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I am become my mother, destroyer of worlds. Look upon my work, ye mighty, and despair.

      Also too I am music and i write the songs.

      • Weird Fishes

        Would you stop making young girls cry?

        • And stop making the whole world sing 🎶

          S’noisy.

          • Weird Fishes

            Seriously. I need my grump nap or I’m sunny and cheerful all day. Hate that.

  • Ayyadurai terrifies me not because of this, because he’s one of the smartest of the new fascists, i.e. he’s figured out how to express fascist ideas in a way that looks like “socialism” to the dumber of the Jill Stein mob and the bad kind of Bernie fans. Of course one of the leading quasi-fascist leaders in the world today is Modi, the Prime Minister of India (Hindu reasons to murder Muslims rather than Christian ones).

    • Iam Reading

      the dumber of the Jill Stein mob and the bad kind of Bernie fans

      A truly terrifying level of stupidity there. I hope to never meet those people face to face

  • Thorn Spike

    Since when does Wonkette allow comments?

    • kbbaldwin2

      It doesn’t – so don’t post any or it will go on your ornament record.

  • Jeffery Campbell

    I thought Al Gore invented email. Am I not remembering that right?

    • mary5920

      No. Al Gore invented the inner-tubes and then he got kind of fat, but then he lost some weight. He flies on airplanes and had the Love Story, too, also.

      • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

        Maureen, is that you?

    • onedollarjuana

      Not quite. Al Gore invented radio. It was Bell and Marconi who invented the Internet.

      • mary5920

        What hath God wrought?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Played a pretty mean mamba, too.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        That’s it!! Thank you.

        • kbbaldwin2

          “IT” is supposed to be capitalized. Sheesch!

      • kbbaldwin2

        I though it was that guy from Alaska…

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        I thought Marconi invented imitation cheese covered pasta tubes.

      • little miss high and mighty

        Tesla libelz!

    • pbasch

      Okay… *sigh* Al Gore spearheaded the legislation which took an existing network, DARPAnet, and opened it up to the public. So while he did not “invent” it (I think it was Sir or Lord Berners-Lee), he did come up with the idea of making it a publicly available resource, instead of merely linking academic and military users.
      OKAY?

      • SeeTrain65

        Oh, for fuck’s sake, not another one …

        Let Merriam-Webster help you out.

        Snark (n.) ˈsnärk
        informal
        : an attitude or expression of mocking irreverence and sarcasm

        … no human endeavor is beyond snark these days, so lots of people enjoy hijacking a corporation’s marketing hashtag to mock the company … — Paul McFedries

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Good heavens, I was snarking.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    This guy truly seems like the worst kind of a horse’s ass.

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    I invented post-it notes.

    • kbbaldwin2

      And we are proud of you. Have a cookie.

  • Tovarish Z

    Is he going to sue after he loses the Republican primary?

  • SeeTrain65

    I once invented a new soft drink, but was told by my parents that mixing Coca-Cola and Tropical Punch Kool-Aid would just bring law suits from two companies down on my head.

  • Well, I invented gravity and everyone uses it.

    Royalties bitches!!

    Wonketteers get a 💯 % discount.

    • phoenix00

      Aww thanks. I rather like my things staying where I left them.

      • Your welcome phoenix, I promise not to switch of your gravity.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Dang – a lot of my stuff seems never to be where i left it. Where do I have to send the check?

        • phoenix00

          Not to me, it’ll just float away!

  • pixeloid

    “False speech is not protected by the Constitution”

    Really? Then why aren’t reich-wingers thrown in prison every time they open their lying mouths?

  • Not that Harder is quite done with his vendetta against the “Gawker” community

    http://nypost.com/2017/09/07/hulk-hogans-lawyer-sets-sights-on-new-target-jezebel/amp/

  • Moar Wordz

    ” Actionable invasion of privacy “, that phrase is my life boat. Now 2 C what type of cookies my imaginary lawyer would like every freaking b’day & Xmass. Or Channukah.
    IDK, I called a laywer and I think I rubbed him the wrong way. I should’ve been like, YES, Thank -you for calling !!!!! I NEED YOU, stretch !!!! Will you represent me on a contingency basis ????? LOOK ! It’s 🍪 ‘ s !!!!
    Instead, I was all, how did you get my home #, confused, it’s unlisted, send me an email, tho !!!! And that was fucking that.
    Crumbs.
    I’m going back to sleep.
    Hopefully I won’t have more cooking nightmares where my 💇 is down, my socks are wet, and I’m running into traffic trying to get to the entrance of the super high-end restaurant, so I took them off and was barefoot, and girl cooks were fighting and spitting on huge prep tables filled with Caesar salads, which had ham croutons and were finished with watermelon juice. ( Note to self, don’t eat before bed. )

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    “Charles Koch, whom the First Amendment allows us to say sucks anyway.”

    ‘Whom’ sucks anyway? I’m not 100% certain about this one, Dok.

    • chortlingdingo

      Charles Koch, whom the First Amendment allows us to say sucks anyway.

      Agreed. Should be “who.”

      • redblack

        solid defense.

  • mardam422

    I invented candles with a wick in them. Also, too, wheels.

    • James Baskin

      And also too, good grammar. Don’t forget good grammar.

      • (((Aron)))

        All of the grammar, Katie.

    • Christopher Story

      Wow, you’re very… smart.

  • Hiam J Beaudry

    Can’t appeal if the judge didn’t screw up.

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