SHARE

Hey there, Wonketariat! Before we get started, we think it’s important to kindly instruct you, your friends, and family to get the fuck out of Florida. Throw the cat in a crate, grab some canned food, and just go. This hurricane is serious; it’s better to be uncomfortable and alive than picking glass out of your ass.

Now here’s some of the things we may be talking about today!

Russian trolls used bots to buy ads on Facebook in order to ID people susceptible to brainwashing during the election, but Facebook, after denying it way back in May, says it’s super sorry for ruining America.

Which Sen. Chuck Grassley will interview Trump Jr.? Will it be the Hillary-hating old man who would rather die than help a Democrat, or Inspector Clouseau?

After cutting a deal with Democrats to expand the debt ceiling, some conservatives are super mad that the government will be able to pay its bills for a few months.

Just when you thought it was safe to suddenly get pneumonia, Lindsey Graham and Bill Cassidy’s healthcare bill has risen from the dead and is lurching through the halls of the Senate. It’s already infected John McCain.

Details of the tax schemes concocted by the House Freedom Caucus have leaked, and it’s more of their typical Ayn Randian bullshit meant to make the richer richer and poor poorer.

House Democrats want Paul Ryan to form a committee on white supremacy, but a number of Republicans are hesitant to officially label their base as the Nazis they are.

The tale of Mark Zuckerberg’s trip to Glacier National Park has gotten stranger now that emails between staffers have been leaked showing Trump appointees leaning on the Park Service in order to numb “a celebrity’s personal PR tour.” At least he met Gracie the Bark Ranger! 

MO Sen. Claire McCaskill released a report detailing how a drug company was faking cancer patients in order to sell sprayable fentanyl. According to the report, the company would call insurers and act like doctors offices desperately in need of more hillbilly heroin.

Donald Trump promised to give many Ameros to charity that weren’t spent for his coronation this past January, but he SHOCKINGLY hasn’t made a single donation yet.

GOOD NEWS! The creepy Gawker-killing lawyer who gets off on suing journalists lost a defamation suit against a website that published a detailed expose proving SHIVA AYYADURAI (currently running against Elizabeth Warren) did not invent email.

Steve King has some thoughts about DACA. They are racist thoughts.

Anti-vaxers in California found a loophole in Jesus, now they don’t have to give their spawn the scientific kiss of life that prevents diseases.

Illinois gubernatorial candidate Daniel Biss has dumped Chicago alderman Carlos Ramirez-Rosa for his support of the BDS (Boycott, Divest and Sanction Israel) movement, effectively cutting him off from the support of Chicago’s hipsters and Berniecrats.

Why are super rich Russians coming to America to have anchor-babies in Trump properties? Why are companies advertising “birth tourism”? How is rich Not American snow trash better than honest and hardworking dreamers?

Steve Bannon says he “respects” the Catholic church, but he just thinks they’re wrong about giving all the illegal brown kids a chance. After all, it’s hard for Steve Bannon to turn the other cheek when his mouth is already full of his own cock.

And here’s your late night wrap-up! Stephen Colbert watched Trump sexually harass his daughter (again); Jimmy Kimmel tried to bribe people to name congress membersSeth Meyers doesn’t think Hillary should blame BernieThe Daily Show thinks ISIS should start taking credit for hurricanes.

And here’s your morning Nice Time! Hairy armadillo babies!

Freedom isn’t free, but ‘Yr Wonkette is! Throw us some Ameros so things stay that way!

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Mr. Blobfish

    House Democrats should point out that it will not be a pro-white supremacy committee.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Shouldn’t that go without saying???

      …Actually, yes, they should point that out…

  • Gayer Than Thou

    When I sent everyone in the office a picture of my screaming hairy armadillo, no one acted like it was Nice Time.

    • mancityRed6

      and yet another meeting the killjoys in HR

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Those people have no sense of humor.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “Screaming hairy armadillo”. Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

    • Bright Bart

      shit screaming?

    • OneYieldRegular

      Look, the rest of us have to use that copier, you know.

  • So, breakfast? Eggs, or grits and eggs?

    • Bobathonic

      Where’s the Spam?

      • Nounverb911

        In my spam folder?

        • Permit-holder Ron

          I hope it’s grease-proof.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Spam, grits and Spam.

      • The gelatinous glunck freaks me out. NO SPAM!

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          Fine, then I’ll breakfast at Denny’s.

          • You got invited to Mr. Hastert’s for breakfast?

          • Major_Major_Major

            Breakfast is free, but the guest is the one getting the tip.

          • ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

          • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

            Can I get that with mayo?

          • PubOption

            I assume that you are in the 99% of the population who can’t afford Tiffany’s

          • Tiffany Trump is selling it?

      • From Russia with Love

        Spam and Spam.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Grits, and eggs over easy, stirred into the grits of course. Maybe some crumbled bacon as well.
      I also recommend heaping it on some rye toast, and eating it sammich style.

      • Or perhaps next to a fine waffle.

        • onedollarjuana

          With a slab of scrapple on it.

          • Major_Major_Major

            Or livermush.

    • Permit-holder Ron

      Lobster Thermidor aux crevettes with a Mornay sauce served in a Provençal manner with shallots and aubergines, garnished with truffle pâté, brandy and with a fried egg on top and Spam.

      • Can I get that in a wrap with extra cheese?

      • The Wanderer

        Spam’s off, dearie.

    • I’m in St.Louis, sick as a dog. I’ll take antibiotics and a side of tea.

    • The Wanderer

      Scrambled eggs, with buttered toast, bacon and a glass of really cold milk.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      I’m more of a corned beef hash kinda guy.

      • arglebargle

        I’m more of a corned beef hash kinda guy.

        FIFY

    • Major_Major_Major

      Welp, now I am regretting my cold pizza for breakfast. Maybe I can talk Mrs_M^3 to do breakfast for dinner.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        I love cold pizza for breakfast.

        • Major_Major_Major

          Tis good, I just reeeeeeally want breakfast food, now.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Blend your cooked grits with 2 eggs, flour and milk, and make Gritcakes.

    • Bozilingus

      Egg sammiches, on sesame seeded buns with Miracle Whip.

  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
  • Bright Bart

    “House Democrats want Paul Ryan to form a committee on white supremacy, but a number of Republicans are hesitant to officially label their base as the Nazis they are.”

    For or against?

    • beingreleased

      Aren’t all republican committees about white supremacy?

      • Bright Bart

        well to be fair, some are about male supremacy

  • beingreleased

    Listening to Nina Simone’s Black Gold. She’s introducing the song To Be Young, Gifted and Black and says: “This song is not addressed to white people. It doesn’t put you down in any way, it just ignores you completely.”

    I want to make a snarky comment about the alt-right, but I can’t think of anything. Her comment made me laugh though, so I thought I’d share.

  • Nounverb911
    • Bright Bart

      ugh

    • Sean McLaren

      Beats the McConnell Pelosi one. Hard not to wonder if the clock’s struck midnight and this pumpkin turns back into a Democrat. Unlike the mess on the right there’s a functioning governing coalition that only needs a few Rs that Trump might be able to bring to pass a lot of bills on the left. Without the partisan attack angle, a huge number of D policies are very popular, and Trump would make it much more likely WWC would hear them out. All the guy wants is to be popular and well thought of, and in terms of governance and public support the numbers may well be there. Besides, and obviously, he was a Democrat for forever before he ran.

      • Major_Major_Major

        That may be so, but he was a douche canoe for even longer than he was a democrat

        • Daniel

          If you quote Bernard Shaw, it’s good manners to include his name.

      • dlemex

        I think he was just pissed at the pukes and the dems were the fastest way to punish them. It is always “about me” with him.

  • Nounverb911
    • From Russia with Love

      “And why am I an idiot?”

      Exactly.

    • shivaskeeper

      That is some happy nice time shit right there.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Awesome.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I am not sure I really like kids say the Fuck word, because I am weirdly and inconsistently prudish that way, but in this case I’ll make an exception.

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste
    • Gayer Than Thou

      How is it that the lesson we seem to be learning from the Twitler’s train wreck presidency is that we just need a different inexperienced businessman to run?

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Because we (Americans in general) are stupid?
        BTW, I think we need to be suspicious of Disqus: it must be run by Russians. If I miss a capital spelling Russia or Russian, it autocorrects me, but it lets americans stay uncapitalized. HIGHLY SUSPICIOUS, Disqus, if that’s even your real name.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Feeedumb’s just another word for giving rich folks a break because God knows they need it.

  • anon_the_great

    We need to take a moment and recognise that Screaming Hairy Armadillo has won the Found Band Name competition for all of eternity.

    • The Wanderer

      Indeed!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I was about to make the same astute observation. Though I slightly prefer “The Screaming Hairy Armadillos.”

      • laughingnome

        Screaming Harry and the Armadillos

        • Lance Thrustwell

          Also an option!

        • Major_Major_Major

          A hardcore/tejano band?

      • anon_the_great

        Screaming Hairy Armadildos: A girlcore grindcore trio

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I dunno…Vegan Butthole is up there in the pantheon.

  • Vincent Ricola

    Facebook is a terrible company full of people who will sell your private data to anyone the highest bidder and allow any sketch Russian company with enough rubles to warp your mind with specialized propaganda? Whoever could’ve known?

    Well, as long as you can reconnect with that chic you barely spoke to in high school and digitally spy on your ex from 15 years ago, it’s all good I guess.

    • From Russia with Love

      Well, as long as you can reconnect with that chic you barely spoke to in high school and digitally spy on your ex from 15 years ago, it’s all good I guess.

      Wait… you can actually do that on Facebook? BRB.

    • BigCSouthside

      I have done nothing on Facebook for about 7 years, and I love it

      Twitter to get news et, and my instagram is so targeted it’s literally just pics of things I really enjoy

      I basically don’t follow anyone on either that I personally know aside from direct family and a handful of friends from my adult years. No high school jackasses or college people.

    • Crystalclear12

      My Facebook is pretty much a dumping ground for updates on what ever game I am playing. But, hey, if you need to know if I levelled up on Sims free play it’s there.

    • Mormos

      and on that note: zuckerberg for preznit!

    • grindstone

      I have said repeatedly to my friends and family: I’m not on facebook for the same reason I don’t masturbate in public. If ever I decide I want family drama or to find an old classmate I can do that without facebook. If I want to stalk an ex, I don’t need the means to be easier.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      I have always thought facebook was for people too indecisive to decide who to include on an email, so they just decide, “Oh, how about everyone I know?”

  • Glistening Fishlifters

    “it’s hard for Steve Bannon to turn the other cheek when his mouth is already full of his own cock.” It is way too early in the morning for that mental image, but I salute you, Wonkette, you do have such a way with words.

  • ManchuCandidate

    As for the anti vaxxers. Jeebus might have your soul but diseases will own your ass in a painful way.

  • Timothy Watson

    “GOOD NEWS! The creepy Gawker-killing lawyer who gets off on suing journalists lost a defamation suit against a website that published a detailed expose proving SHIVA AYYADURAI (currently running against Elizabeth Warren) did not invent email.”

    I’m old enough to remember the GOP attacking Al Gore for the (nonexistent) claim he created the Internet.

    Man, how do you describe projection this bad? It’s well pass “epic” or “IMAX levels” at this point.

    • PubOption

      Rush won’t know which Indian to support.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      The Al Gore inventing the internet was a narrative not-legendary journalist Tim Russert ran with a lot.

  • Nounverb911
  • Mr. Blobfish

    Will Ivanka be supping with President Daddy and Loser of the House Ryan this evening?

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Some people should really rethink their Tinder profile pics:
    https://twitter.com/ellosdispute/status/905396438179483648

    • Ghenghis McCann

      That should really have been marked as NSFW (or anywhere.)

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Nurses are freaky.
      Denver Health nurses suspended after opening body bag to see man’s genitals

      http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/local-news/denver-health-nurses-suspended-after-opening-body-bag-to-see-mans-genitals

    • arglebargle

      What a dick.

      I meant Trump. Perverts.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      On the one hand, I’m all “Girl, I feel you.” But on the other hand, it just seems kind of … dangerous to be under a male elephant in any state of arousal. And on the third hand, bad touch!

    • There is no way a transgender elephant name Leah is 23 miles away from me right now.

      I call bullshit.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      oh my

  • beingreleased

    This looks like today’s must read.
    The First White President by Ta-Nehisi Coates. I’ve only read a few excerpts myself, but I’m going to read the whole thing later.

    “IT IS INSUFFICIENT TO STATE the obvious of Donald Trump: that he is a white man who would not be president were it not for this fact.”

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I like Coates’ journalistic writing, but I found his book kind of tiresome. Mournful pseudo-poetic elegy on the ‘black body’. However valid a lot of his points were, it was sort of overtaken by that sophomoric style.

      Also, why in Hell is his name pronounced Ta-ne-HA-see? It’s spelled ‘Ta-Nehisi’. Grumble.

      • Stinky_Hole

        “Hi-C”, but with a southron accent.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I’m slowly working my way through his first book; it’s something I started a day or two before Charlottesville and I am having a difficult time sticking with it. He’s a good writer.

  • Nounverb911
    • Daniel

      Classy.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    The entire western U.S. seems to be under a dense haze of smoke as the forests burn…which traps the heat and makes everything even worse. This Chinese hoax just keeps getting worse and worse.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      In Denver, every morning is an evening.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Temps well over 100 all week here…sticky, hazy, and gross. OTOH, we don’t have a Cat. 5 monster barreling down on us.

        • Mpeg

          where’s “here”? (I probably knew once.. but forgot)

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Tucson, Baja Arizona

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          We’ve already started into fall weather here in central KY – it was in the high 40s over night, which is such great sleeping weather that I’m a little pissed that I’m out of bed already.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            That sounds like paradise to me. One of the problems with these endless summers here…I don’t sleep for shit.

  • Crystalclear12

    Starting to regret not visiting Florida. I don’t even know if I’ll miss it after it’s gone.
    That climate change hoax is really persistent though.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      The scenery is pretty in a vague way, but the thing you have to ask yourself is: “Is my life likely to be greatly improved by driving for 40 miles behind someone going 15 miles under the speed limit, interacting with Florida man in the flesh, and sharing a hotel with nine families with forty kids each who all wake up extremely early and run up and down the hallways being yelled at by their parents to be quiet?” For me the answer is, “Well, now that you put it that way . . . ” but your mileage may vary.

      • MrTusks

        I recommend growing gills. If the hurricanes don’t drown you, the humidity will.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I love Florida. Unironically. Had some of the best times of my life there.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      I’m supposed to be flying down there at the end of October. I was going to book my hotel this week, but I guess I’ll have to wait to see what’s left standing. Hopefully, evacuations won’t drive hotel costs up (even though I’m supposed to have a set hotel rate for a sponsored event).

  • Nounverb911
  • Indiepalin

    In the interest of fairness, Donald Trump, Jr. should be interrogated by Chuck Grassley’s dad, Radar O’Reilly.

  • Amelia Resists and Persists

    Is anyone else cynical enough to wonder if Trump is wetting himself with excitement over the insurance money he’ll get from his property in Saint Martins and Mar-a-Lago after Irma? No?

    Just me then.

    • TundraGrifter

      Remember – property insurance (after the deductible, of course) doesn’t cover market value. Properly written and up-to-date, it covers the cost to replace. In a resort area properties should be worth more than they cost to build.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        I wonder if it’s possible to over-insure? Take out a second policy, for instance.

        • shivaskeeper

          For normal homeowners policies, you technically can. In that you can pay a higher premium for more total coverage. For example you could pay a premium to rebuild a stick built home when you are insuring a manufactured home. However in the event of a catastrophic loss, you will not get a stick built home to replace the manufactured home.

          There are of course extra riders you can get to cover specific high end items, but I’m not sure of the legality of taking out multiple policies from multiple companies. I’m also not sure who it works with a resort/business property.

          • Skeptical_thinker

            Multiple insurance policies on the same thing? Sounds like credit default swaps to me. It must be legal.

          • shivaskeeper

            Legality aside, it would seem like a really weird way to try to win a lottery. Pa premiums here, premiums there, and premiums everywhere in the hope that you lose everything to a disaster.

        • TundraGrifter

          Yes – it is certainly possible to over-insure. Some companies will happily collect the premiums. But they won’t pay the inflated claims. Payments either go directly to the contractors or are made out jointly to the policy holder and the people performing the reconstruction work.

          Rest assured the insurance companies have seen almost every possible scam. They do this for a living.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I just hope that the fact that he’s in public office this time around keeps him from profiting on buildings that weren’t actually destroyed, unlike every other time he’s been able to grift off disasters that truly hurt other people.

      • Amelia Resists and Persists

        Being in office won’t stop him. He’ll just have his kids do it.

        • YoBunnyBunny

          And the GOP congress critters to give their blessing.

    • Wolf Tracker

      Wealthy people get better insurance as a package deal and they can write off all the damage on their taxes since it is a business and in some cases they can even take off projected losses from not having the business operable.

      Then he can swoop in and buy up all his neighbors destroyed properties or maybe use eminent domain so he can expand his empire.

      Wealthy people are never hurt by disasters like the rest of us.

      • Wolf Tracker

        I left out he has used FEMA funds for that resort in the past and got alot for what was just minor repairs.

        • Amelia Resists and Persists

          Yeah, that story is what made me wonder. Grifters don’t change.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    And the GOP continues to enable the Grifter-in-Chief’s grifting
    https://twitter.com/AdamSchiffCA/status/905606653206192129

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      The damn GOP at this point might as well open up and admit that they’re about nothing but profit and wealth. When our last extremely crooked president was in office, at least they cared enough to get him out (once the newspapers had done all their work for them); this one they’ll keep until they’ve wrung the last dime they think they can get out of his tenure. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

    • Don’t worry, Adam. It’s a little like bitter make up sex after trump dissed them on the debt ceiling.

      Persist!

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      The President of the United States of America, a unit of the Trump Organization.

      • Querolous

        Организация Путина Трампа.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Lindsay Graham was a lot more likable when he was drunk and pouring free beverages from behind the bar.

    • Nounverb911

      So you’ve been to his parents restaurant the “Sanitary Cafe” too?

  • Nounverb911

    Why IS Steve Bannon wearing TWO button down shirts?
    https://twitter.com/nycsouthpaw/status/905778117909909504

    • Left Coast Tom

      On the other hand, it does look like the dude took a shower within 48 hours of this interview.

      • True; his hair isn’t as greasy as usual.

        • arglebargle

          I think Kelly gave him a swirly before showing him the door.

      • Daniel

        Normally he only thinks showers should be for minorities.

    • laughingnome

      He peels one off to reveal his true self later when genuflecting before an upside down cross while sipping the blood of a freshly slaughtered lamb.

      • eggs ackly-wright

        Lamb? What, he ran out of kittens?

    • TundraGrifter

      Somebody told him it was high time he put on a clean shirt.

      So he did.

    • Daniel

      One of them is basically his skin, having been worn so long it’s gone past merely falling off and has become instead woven into his flesh.

      He’s more shirt than man now.

      Black shirt, obviously.

    • The one underneath has a giant “S” on it.

      For “Shithead”.

    • Vincent Ricola

      He’s a fashion icon for gross, alcoholic, creepy dudes and he’s pushing the limits?

    • BigCSouthside

      That’s his special “evil mastermind” outfit. Believe it or not he’s actually discussed this. He’s a fuckin weirdo

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Like, am I supposed to feel all intimidated because he doesn’t know how shirts work?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        It would be more intimidating if he didn’t have the face of a 90 year old alcoholic with liver failure.

    • And surprisingly, no drawers.

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        I DON’T WANT TO KNOW THAT

    • Jenny

      One is to catch all the perspirated gin.

    • SeeTrain65

      Because three would have been ostentatious?

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      If he doesn’t wear two shirts the seams on his skin suit are just DEAD obvious.

    • Pilotshark

      well guess its some what like when you get two say maga hats, so you can crap on one, than have something to cover it up.

    • SomeBigRedDog

      I’m gonna guess he has super giant, perma-erect nipples and he needs the extra cloth to hide them. Someone prove me wrong.

      EDIT: AFTER RETHINKING THAT LAST PART PLEASE DON’T PROVE ME WRONG.

      • SeeTrain65

        You first.

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        Don’t prove ’em right either.

    • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

      A double layer of black clothing? I’d love to see him interviewed outdoors on a sunny summer’s day.

  • TundraGrifter

    “Donald Trump promised to give many Ameros to charity that weren’t spent for his coronation this past January, but he SHOCKINGLY hasn’t made a single donation yet.”

    Samaritan’s Purse is allocated $100,000. That will pay the President and CEO, of the evangelist Billy Graham’s family, for two months. If Mr. Trump actually follows through, of course.

  • Screaming Hairy Armadillos is the name of my pre-Ska band.

    • laughingnome

      Post-Ska is hot in Bushwick.

      • Nounverb911

        Do you what else is hot in Bushwick?

        • eggs ackly-wright

          Rockabilly acid house?

  • Nounverb911
    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      No, no I’m good, I don’t want to know what a gotcha day is.

      • shivaskeeper

        They day you pick up the pet if you don;t know when it was born. If you get a shelter critter with an estimated age, there is no birthday known, so it’s Gotcha Day.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        They also use it for human babies sometimes, when the birthdate is unknown (this tends to happen with foreign births – my son’s SIL is Chinese and her family celebrates her “gotcha” day too).
        Edit to add that this reply should technically be to shivaskeeper’s comment.

    • SeeTrain65

      Get a doghouse, you two.

  • TundraGrifter

    I saw on the Web that brilliant economist Tucker Carlson asked why California wasn’t doing better since it was all pro-DACA. He didn’t note the state has one of the ten largest economies in the world, etc., etc.

    The Yahoo! comments are remarkably discouraging. The mouth-breathers are out in force, spewing lie after lie about “illegals,” anchor babies, and other ignorant nonsense.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “If those goddamn Mexicans had the skill, drive, and intellect to be born into a vast frozen food fortune like me, they wouldn’t be in this situation.”

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      There’s a bit of sharp satire in Steve Martin’s “Bowfinger”. He’s making a film on a shoestring and recruits his crew from Mexicans running across the border. By the end, they’re taking calls from other producers to work on their films.

      • TundraGrifter

        Hollywood started not only for the year-around filming weather. LA is close to the Mexican border and the film makers who didn’t want to pay Thomas Edison to use his patented technology knew if the law came for them they could head south to safety.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Compare California’s Democratic governance with, say, Kansas.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      I think the lore on the right is that California’s economy is just two nanoseconds from going belly up.

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        I know that sociamalist France has been months away from collapse for the last fifty years.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Yeah, there’s also a disgusting meme about Houston and Miami having lots of Latinos and getting hit with hurricanes. I guess when it comes down to it in the mouth-breathers universe, there’s no difference between Mexicans and Cubans. Sorry older generation Cuban-Americans; even if you’re conservative, you’re still brown.

      • TundraGrifter

        So true! It was the wealthy conservatives who fled from Cuba after Castro took over. Thanks to very generous political campaign “contributions,” they drove our terrible policy toward that country for sixty years.

        Mr. Obama had the wisdom to try something different and it was starting to work, but Mr. Trump lacks the vision and courage to continue the progress.

    • SeeTrain65

      Paris sewers are a much cleaner environment than any Yahoo! comment section.

  • Daniel Hooper

    Is it weird that the most offensive thing to me that Colbert did was last night when he tried to list all the main My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic cast and forgot Rarity?

    • Daniel

      It seems apropos to forget that one, to be honest.

      • Jenny

        I WILL CUT YOU! RARITY IS BEST PONY!

        • Daniel Hooper

          #RarityIsATrueGem

      • Daniel Hooper

        Oh; you better hope Spike didn’t read that…

    • eggs ackly-wright

      He remembered Fluttershy, so it’s all good.

  • Jenny

    So much terrible destruction! Here, have some destruction in which no one was hurt!

    She’s sorry, but not sorry about all this yarn! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6fec35258d79bb702877e7baab428c1a22555385d7a140bc746b204af307c8d4.jpg

  • Nounverb911
  • OrG

    No way ISIL takes credit for hurricanes. Liberals did it!

  • Unhappy Fingers

    Floridians: Don’t try throwing the cat in a crate. Throwing the cat will probably make he/she/it mad. You’ll then spend an extra hour finding the furry being and coaxing it into the crate and/or you’ll regret not wearing heavy gloves while handling the beast.

    Also, Dom’s sick and in a bad mood. Cut him some slack. (Get well soon, guy.)

    • Nounverb911

      Have some chicken soup

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        I loved that episode.

    • Mpeg

      Yeah. Instead: throw the canned goods in a crate; and stick the cat in one of those zippered insulated lunchbag things, allowing just enough of a hole for the head to poke out.
      And this reminds me I need to buy more canned food for my kitty, who may or not be insul-lunchbag-proof; I hope I never have to find out!

  • Wild Cat
    • Gayer Than Thou

      Bookmarking – thanks.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I do like his magazine pieces.

    • spangled

      his thoughts on the bullshit excuse of “economic anxiety motivated trump voters”, are perfection

    • Zyxomma

      That was brilliant and depressing. Thanks for the link.

  • Skeptical_thinker
    • Wolf Tracker

      When a storm is bigger than your whole state you should probably get out.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      If prayer really works, it’s gonna hit Mar-a-Lago hard. Really hard. Several times.

      • II Gosala

        Please remember in your dreams of spite and vengeance that Mar- Orange is in Palm Beach County and next door to Broward County, which are home to a couple million people, most of whom are not Trump.

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          If it could only hit Mar-a-lardo and Rush and leave everyone else alone. Rick Scott and Pam Bondi maybe also, too.

        • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

          My prayers are very specific.

          • II Gosala

            Hurricanes are not

          • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

            That’s why prayers are necessary. So the laws of physics and probability and weather mechanics can be ignored. An impossibility in ordinary reality, but — according to TOP fundamentalist scientists — a simple matter for God. For example, “…if there’s a real problem, [God] can take care of it.” –Rep. Tim Walberg (R-Mich.) talking about global warming. A god that can do that will have no problem protecting all the non-Trump areas of Florida while leveling Mar-a-Lago. In response to my prayers.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Trump’s 23 million property at Saint Martin was pounded properly.

        • Oblios_Cap

          That’s truly a shame.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            It’s a bit of consolation since 95% of the Island is wrecked. Man…

        • Pilotshark

          well that is what he asked for, it is now down to 18 million cause no one placed and offer on it.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Holy fuck! GET OUT!

    • Joe Beese

      Are they really expecting 120 mph winds across the entire width of the state all the way up to Tampa?

      That’s going to make one king-hell mess.

      • grindstone

        The models are shifting east-west-east. If it stays east, Tampa should be okay with decent impact, not the full force. If it shifts west, we’re fucked. We’re talking plan B today and watching the models.

  • “More Russian officials in Trump Palace than all of Moscow”???

    Come here, born AMERICAN baby, can run for President, not need stupid American orange puppet…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ac64e3fba76ccced8edf7e3ff142f379cd171a9858f8907ce4338d55b4dd10e3.png

    Is hilarious!

  • I was living in Homestead when Andrew hit, and now Irma has turned her gaze my way.

    I feel just a little bit cursed…

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Then please stay outta Hartford.

      (Srsly, be safe.)

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Perhaps you are a rain god and don’t know it?

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    I am suddenly faced with an issue I was not expecting. Two of my clients, along with some other jail inmates refused to go outside for rec because the AQI was 415 Tuesday and over 300 yesterday. The jail — because they got in trouble with the Jail Standards Committee and the ACLU for keeping inmates inside 24 hours a day — is demanding they go outside.

    I don’t blame the jailers. They follow their policies and procedures without question, because if they don’t people could be (and have been) killed.

  • Edith Prickly
  • SomeBigRedDog

    Gracie the barkranger! Man, how do I get that job. I bark really good.

  • SomeBigRedDog

    WHY IS IT CALLED A SCREAMING HAIRY ARMADILLO?!

    • Mpeg

      I played the vid with sound expecting screams. Instead I got that treacly accompanying music, sans screams, that finds its way into every baby-animal video ever produced and makes me want to drive spikes into my eardrums~

    • Vincent Ricola

      I don’t know, but it sure makes me want a nice rum drink that has fancy fruits floating in it.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      It’s an armadillo, it probably has hair, and the last part… might involve some sort of sound they make?

      I ain’t no zoologist tho.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      I think it’s so hairy it makes people who see it scream? or squee, depending on the person?

    • SeeTrain65

      Because “Grey Wolf” was taken.

    • natoslug

      Because the original name, “HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THAT THING?- IT’S GODDAMNED FUCKING ADORABLE!!!!!” was too long.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Please, someone remind me again why I am supposed to be respectful of the sincerely held superstitious beliefs of religulous people. It is getting really difficult for me to hold back my utter contempt for the science denying, society destroying cretinous assholes.

    • Wolf Tracker

      First amendment. The same amendment that protects your rights to not be part of any religion.

      • Claire

        The First Amendment doesn’t protect anyone from other people’s contempt, disrespect, or poor opinion. It says that Congress can’t make laws respecting an establishment of religion.

        • Wolf Tracker

          ” can’t make laws respecting an establishment of religion.”

          “protects your rights to not be part of any religion.”

          • Claire

            …Yes? But unless WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot has become Congress when we weren’t looking, the First Amendment has nothing whatsoever to do with whether or not he/she is obliged to be respectful toward idiots.

          • Wolf Tracker

            OK then. Have a great day!

          • natoslug

            They can be part of a religion, but their religious rights end where they infringe on the rights of others. Using religion to increase the number of non-vaccinated individuals needlessly and directly infringes on the rights of others. Using religion to increase the probability of a disease outbreak makes about as much sense claiming a religious right to fire bullets indiscriminately into the air.

          • Wolf Tracker

            Does it break the law?

          • natoslug

            Only if we carve out an exception in the law for religious beliefs. These sort of exemptions only make sense if they are for people who would be at greater risk if vaccinated, e.g. people with suppressed immune systems. Endangering the lives of others because not doing so is contrary to your ethos is selfish and dangerous.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        DAMN! Great answer. Thanks!

    • shivaskeeper

      Why hold back the contempt? I don’t. The government has to stay out of their religion, but you or I don;t have to show them any deference at all.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        I think I’m going to let my atheist flag fly in the future, at least at public gatherings. At private functions I will continue to be polite because I am polite, not because I respect the spell casting.

        • shivaskeeper

          To me it really has nothing to with letting the atheist flag fly. It really does come down to not suffering fools. I tend to treat the religious loons the same way I would treat one of A Jones’ followers. It they want to believe shit that flies in the face of objective reality, that’s fine with me. If they want to go out and spread shit that flies in the face of reality and basic sanity, I will call them on it.

          This is not to say all religious people are like this. See my comment above about Stephen Colbert, also, too many of the fine Wonkers in the non comments. The truth of it is we can only fight to hold ground from the bullshit. The ones who will have to the real fighting are the ones in those particular sects to reclaim them form the crazies.

          • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

            Yep. Thanks. I live in the South, baptist country, so it’s nice to know that not everyone is in league with Big Church.

          • shivaskeeper

            Lived in GA and TX both for a while. Not everyone is a hardcore Southern Baptist Fundy. They are just the ones with the money for the TV stations and satellite radio networks, so they have an outsized voice.

    • grindstone

      Here’s my solution: I respect that you have beliefs. I respect that they may bring you comfort. I will not actively persecute you for your beliefs. But I do not have to respect those beliefs.

      Shorter: I respect that you have beliefs, but I don’t respect your beliefs.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        See, if they would respect my beliefs as well I’d be okay with it. But way too many religious people are willingly to disrespect my lack of belief.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      What complicates matters is the existence of Reasonable Christians™. People like Stephen Colbert, for example, who would never deny the validity of scientific consensus, but somehow make imaginative ‘spiritual’ room for their preferred mythology.

      • shivaskeeper

        That doesn’t really complicate anything unless you tend to paint with a broad brush. No one has to suffer fools, let alone gladly, and Stephen Colbert is not a fool.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Yes, that is a problem. Most of them pretty much despise the evangelicals and literalists too. I’ve gotten to the point though that I don’t really want to sit quietly at public functions while they invoke. Private functions I do try to be nice.

    • jaspersdad

      John Cook, founder of Skeptical Science, is one of the most effective fighters of the denial propaganda machine out there. Cook is a trained solar physicist and says he is motivated by his Christian beliefs.

  • Thurman Munster IV

    The weather map shows red state Florida under a red-colored hurricane watch. Irma is a bitch

    • Pilotshark

      think what the bitch Irma is, and in a few days what a baster Jose will be.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))
    • WotsAllThisThen

      Aw, how cute, just like Milo Yiannopoulos!

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Hoooorrrgghh…..

      • RobKanC

        Milo Inyourface who?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I really needed to re-start my diet this morning anyway. Thanks, I guess.

      • BrianW

        Projectile vomiting isn’t a diet, per se .

  • Stulexington

    I feel like these back to back to back hurricanes are a message, a sign from God trying to make something crystal clear. I feel like they’re saying “GLOBAL WARMING IS REAL!!!!”

    • Vincent Ricola

      Maybe. Or maybe we’re getting paid back from sky god for electing a black man as president and our salvation will only come if we give all our money to Joel Osteen. Could be either thing. There are good people on both sides of the discussion. Smart people. The best.

    • Ms.Moon

      If we’re too busy rebuilding Miami we will have no money for any wall.

      • Stulexington

        How much wall money do you think will get sucked up rebuilding Mar a lago? And will Trump even realize he’s making that choice?

  • Nounverb911

    Just in time for Irma’s ratings surge.

    https://twitter.com/JuliaDavisNews/status/905791831740436483

    • Rick Hill

      Yeah this hurricane business is good for ratings but no one’s paying attention to trump. Time to change that dynamic

  • Nounverb911
  • Rick Hill

    Awfulness levels keeping steady…continue on, Citizen

  • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent
    • Wolf Tracker

      Putin thought Tillerson and Trump would make those nasty sanctions go way and now he has no use for them.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      I don’t think it was ever about Trump. I think it was about fucking up the west. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. And, you know, money.

      • shivaskeeper

        THIS^^. So much this. A destabilized and unsure West is unable to respond to Putin’s ambitions. Russia gets an essentially free hand to do what it wants. That has been and is the goal.

        • Finnibar87

          Putin wants the Baltics.

          I’m surprised he hasn’t made his move yet, but fall is a good time for invading one’s neighbors.

          • shivaskeeper

            Probably not just the Baltics. One source I saw basically pointed to every single one of the states that broke away during the fall of the Soviet Union. He would love to have all those buffer states back and be as geographically as large, if not larger than the old Soviet Union.

      • TundraGrifter

        Agreed. Mr. Trump was just another tool.

    • Finnibar87

      No more bridesmaids!

    • shivaskeeper

      Plans change on the fly, but the overarching goal has always been and will always be a destabilized West that will be unable to counter Putin’s ambitions on the world geopolitical stage.

      That seems to be progressing apace right now.

    • miss_grundy

      Don’t believe a word he says. He is as much of a liar as Dolt 45.

  • Ωbjectifier
    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Argh, auto-play ad alert. I hate those damn things.
      [grouse mumble cuss grrrrrr]

  • Oblios_Cap

    Three hurricanes at once?

    Gawd hates us for electing A Idiot.

    I hope it destroys Mar-A-Lago and rides up and decimates his NJ course. Just those 2 places.

    • beingreleased

      I’m pretty sure god’s punishing us for electing that black guy. He’s just had a lot on his plate recently, and kept putting it off until now.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Well picking sportsball winners takes up a lot of his time…

        • TundraGrifter

          Most pro and semi-pro (college) basketball teams are off for the summer, so She doesn’t have to spend a lot of time helping the players make free throws.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        What I can’t understand is that God used to target his wrath much more discriminatingly in the past. He slew the firstborn of the Egyptians, but left the Israelites alone. These days he just seems to go ‘Fuck the lot of them’ and sends a hurricane.

        • pstokk

          Just to be sure I’m going out now to smear my lintel and jambs with lamb’s blood.

          • LucindathePook

            I’m good–got five mezuzahs or mezuzot or mezuzim or however you say it. But five.

        • Finnibar87

          We’ve been crapping on His creation for far too long, and G is damn sick and tired of the mess.

        • Jamoche

          “Kill them all, let Me sort them out.”

      • natoslug

        Are we sure this isn’t about gay Swedes vacationing on Prince Edward Island?

        • beingreleased

          Most things are.

    • Major_Major_Major

      It can stop off in the DC area and give a right fucking up to his other golf course as well.

    • Rick Hill

      Right now it’s feared that Irma will totally destroy Miami.

    • Wolf Tracker

      AND we are not even in tropical storm season yet.

      • II Gosala

        Hurricane season goes from June 1 to November 30. August and September are the most active months

        • Wolf Tracker

          Hurricane season hasn’t peaked yet. Here’s what to expect

          http://www.cnn.com/2017/09/07/us/hurricane-season-2017-outlook/index.html

        • TundraGrifter

          June too soon.
          July stand by.
          August come they must.
          September remember.
          October all over.

          At least, that’s the way it used to be.

          • LucindathePook

            April, come she will
            May, she will stay
            June, she’ll change her tune
            July, she will fly
            August, die she must
            September, I’ll remember
            — apologies to truncated Simon & Garfunkle

    • miss_grundy

      Nah. It should attack all of his golf and resort properties. And then the Democrats should find a way for him not to be able to grift the government for the damage.

  • Rick Hill

    In another look at the festering, worm infested, vile sepsis that is the conservative psyche, Huckabee laments at how people are so irrationally angry at trump.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Go eat a bag of dicks, Fuckabee, and take your lying human sinkhole of a daughter with you. I’m not irrationally angry at 45. I’m deservedly angry at the creature himself and the irrational shitheads who support him, like you.

      • Vincent Ricola

        Ramen.

    • Wolf Tracker

      I am not angry at Trump. That would require that I thought he could do better and was not a mad man.

    • shivaskeeper

      Sure. Why not?

    • YoBunnyBunny

      As opposed to the irrational anger that the right had for Obama???

      • Finnibar87

        In the world of Huckabee, that was a self righteous anger.

        • grindstone

          No one more hypocritical than a self righteous christianist.

          • miss_grundy

            And grifter preacher man.

        • Daniel

          Obama was opposed to the sexual assault of children, lies and the torture and murder of dogs. He clearly had an axe to grind against the sainted Huckabee clan.

          • Finnibar87

            Obama also exercised.

            Another dig at all Huckabees, everywhere.

          • miss_grundy

            And he ate a healthy diet. Because to the Huckabees, vegetables are bad.

    • Daniel

      Please give him his correct title. He worked too hard defending child sexual assault for people not to call him Child Sexual Assault Defender Mike Huckabee.

      And one of his kids lies for a living while another killed a dog. He is our moral exemplar.

      • natoslug

        So, Kiddie-Diddler Champion Mike “Strangle yer dog” Huckabee? That’s a lot to type.

        • Daniel

          “Child sexual assault defender Mike Huckabee” will do- there’s no need to be crude. He only defended sexual assault of young children and blamed the victims. Vulgarity is far worse.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Our anger at Trump is 100% rational. It’s those who are NOT angry at the son of a bitch who are irrational.

    • miss_grundy

      I’m not irrationally angry. I am rationally angry. I am angry that there are so many people in this country who are willing to set aside common sense and let a grifter play on them. Especially a racist, bigoted asshole from Queens, who would just as easily take their money in one of his grifter schemes.

  • Rick Hill

    And, it’s just so damn interesting, the times they have a changed to:(Seen at RS in an article on how destructive Irma will be)

    The ocean water around these Hurricanes is 90 damned degrees!

    The forests in California were recording 90 degree temperatures overnight.

    Something or some technology is doming the heat through geoengineering.

    You can have man made climate changes through industry and societal interaction, but you can have malevolent man made climate manipulation via nefarious organizations aiming a weaponized monster at you, overtly but covertly; disguised as “weather”.

    Still don’t know what turned the Twin Towers into talcum powder, (direct energy), but it is the same tech used to heat up your ionosphere and your oceans.

    Your smart meters are x-raying you 13,000 times per day too, after you’ve inhaled aluminum dust sprayed on you in chemtrails.

    These aluminum particulates are in your air and your water too. Charge them up with microwave frequencies, and they can cook you and anything else contaminated.

    No Tin Foil. You’re in a Tholian Web.

    • shivaskeeper

      Crank magnetism at it’s finest there.

      • Rick Hill

        A good thing he noted no tin foil.

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          Was he saying he had none, or needed none?

          • sarafina

            Does it matter?

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            Maybe if someone had gotten him the help he needs earlier, it might have…

        • shivaskeeper

          True.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Man, that’s a lot of stupid all in one place.

      • Rick Hill

        Stupid like a fox!

  • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist
    • SeeTrain65

      Her Twitter handle is “Giraffeton?” … Sorry, my mistake.

    • Daniel

      I’d have gone with “Do you not celebrate Thanksgiving?” but his is good too.

    • Finnibar87

      Just grabbing free stuff by the pussy; it’s the American way.

    • Wolf Tracker

      Touche!

    • Claire

      What the hell does this person even think DACA recipients are getting? What is this weird Republican obsession with people getting “free stuff”? Do they literally think that everyone who isn’t a conservative white Christian can just walk into Walmart, load up a cart with flat-screen TVs and cheap polyester, and walk out without paying a cent, laughing all the way to their Obama Cadillac?

      • TundraGrifter

        “Liberals” are fine with individuals getting help when they need it.

        “Conservatives” generally favor corporate welfare – directly payments or through the tax code – whether the companies need the help or not.

      • Les Appentis De la résistance

        They only ‘benefit’ they have ever have received is a public school education. They don’t qualify for anything else.

      • sarafina

        Yes.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      From what I’ve read, the DACA recipients are Generating Wealth and are working hard in return for being allowed to work here.

      I wonder how many of those haters are nothing but slack-jawed, half-toothed, couch-dwelling takers who aren’t worth shit, i.e., white trash?

      • Claire

        Probably most of them, which is why they want the DACA recipients gone. They don’t want competition for jobs, for university slots, for housing, or for anything else. They just want to coast by at or below the minimum possible amount of competence and effort, and they can’t do that with smart, ambitious, hard-working immigrants eating their lunch.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          S’Truth!

        • Ms.Moon

          Exactly, I came to this country at twelve. I went directly to high school I graduated at 16. I live in a blue state, I live in an excellent school district, I took honors, and AP classes in nearly everything (except math which is my Waterloo). I did not work as hard as I did to get into high school back home (you have to take a test to get into a “good” high school in Trinidad). I did not get to take two languages here back home it was required. I honestly did not understand why there were kids saying they had too much to do school wise I didn’t find high school all that challenging. I have cousins with kids now who are partly homeschooling their kids here because they don’t like the educational system but they live in Texas so I’m not sure about how education is handled there.

          • AnnieGetYerFun

            In Texas, you are taught that creationism is a valid scientific theory.

      • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist

        AOT,K!

    • Persistent Demme

      Commenting rules (again) do not allow me to say anything about Missy and Muffy going to Mar-a-Mango this weekend.

  • Jgb979

    Rush Limbaugh can stay though, since he thinks the hurricane is just a conspiracy fake news.

    Would be nice if the only place targeted was mar-a-lago (it won’t be though get the eff out of Florida)

    • Wolf Tracker

      I hope they find him huddled in his bunker with his house blown into the next state. Just him though not his neighbors homes.

      • Finnibar87

        The global warming reality tour, this time with hurricanes.

  • natoslug

    Those leprosy pups are adorable!

    • The Wanderer

      “Lepro-see!
      It’s crawling all over me!
      There goes my eyeball
      Into my highball . . . “

  • Joe Beese
    • Wolf Tracker

      I played that game once. Avoid the lava!

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      That very warm ocean water is like jet fuel for hurricanes. Really scary.

      Florida Men and Florida Women, take your Florida Kids, and Florida Critters, and GTFO, now, gottdammit! This is serious.

      And, BTW, Rushed Limpdick can kiss my butt.

      • dlemex

        I suggest you not let that face anywhere near your butt. Who knows what STDs he has.

      • miss_grundy

        I think Irma is worse than Andrew and anyone who had family or who lived through Andrew will tell you that Andrew was very, very bad and shined a light on the shoddy construction practices in south Florida. There were whole neighborhoods that turned into matchsticks. Get the hell out, NOW! Pick up the dog, the cat or any of your other critters and get the hell out of Dodge. Irma will make Andrew look like a rained-out ballgame.

        • C4TWOMAN

          Just look at the satellite comparison images: Irma is at least half again as wide as Andrew…

      • Thurman Munster IV

        And don’t forget your Florida Keys.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Re: warm water

        This explains why Puerto Rico got off light with mostly power outages.

  • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

    The Jimmy Kimmel video is Jimmy talking to Steve Harvey about babysitting fails.
    This is the correct link to Name a Congressman for a Cookie:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpJq34GRNPs

  • Edith Prickly

    From the NYT story about the failing, sad Republican Party: Given the enormousness of the issues Republicans have to tackle, and their deep divisions over how to do it, many in the party now say they are inching closer to an unavoidable, full-blown civil war.

    This is a civil war I can cheer on.

    • Rick Hill

      Enormous issues? They’re trying to figure out how to raep pillage and plunder and just can’t agree on how to do it or how much to do. So tough being conservative when the world is your oyster and you want to exploit it in every way possible.

    • Wolf Tracker

      Tea Party Kochus against the GOP.

      Dems will sit back and eat popcorn and count new seats.

    • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist

      Unpossible, as none of them are civil.

      • Hollandaise

        I just want to see soemonebodyslam Jeff Sessions is that too much to ask?

        • sarafina

          You wouldn’t think so, but elves are tricksy.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Points for the Gollum reference.

    • TundraGrifter

      The Republican Uncivil War has been raging for the past couple of years. The NYT is behind the times.

      Rachel Maddow was, to my knowledge, the only national newsperson to cover the suicides of two Missouri GNoP candidates driven to that last, desperate act by the vicious infighting in their party.

      The Establishment Republicans can’t stand the far right nut cases. The crazed fringe thinks semi-rational people like Sen. McCain and Sen. Graham are RINOs. Mr. Trump hi-jacked the party as a vehicle for his campaign; he has no loyalty and little party support.

      • Edith Prickly

        Completely agree, and the party brought this on themselves when they went all-in for the Southern Strategy decades ago.

        • TundraGrifter

          Demographics are destiny, and the Republican Party is going the way of the buffalo. There will still be a few around, but they can’t be counted on to produce anything worthwhile.

          The GNoP can hang on for a while longer by cheating – caging voters, gerrymandering districts, etc. But, overall, its days are done.

          Personally, I think Mr. Trump probably shortened its lifespan by about twenty years.

      • Persistent Demme

        What does GNoP stand for?
        (All I can find is backwards PoNG, and I don’t think that’s it.)

        • TundraGrifter

          You ask me to explain a joke? OK. This once.

          It used to be “GNoPee” but that could be read too many different ways. I coined “GNoP” because the Grand Old Parky (GOP) spent the 8 years of the Obama Administrations not only doing nothing but actively working to keep from accomplishing something.

          I guess it could be “GnOP” but I’m stuck with GNoP now.

          • Persistent Demme

            So it”s kinda like GNoPe?
            As in the party of NO?
            OK, thanks, TG!

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I’m just afraid that what they mean is unleashing their armed-to-the-teeth minions on the rest of us.

    • Crank Tango

      Enormousness? whatever happened to enormity?

      • Mike Steele

        Correctimundo. Never heard of such a word.

      • Dinz6315

        Enormity would be misused in this context.
        It refers to evil, sin or crime.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Oh, morning headlines, did we really need more reasons to hate Facebook, Trump, House Republicans, drug companies, and anti-vaxxers?

  • thewalkindude
    • The Wanderer

      “Beclown?”
      And what the hell’s up with her face in that picture? Was she drained of life by an incubus?

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        That or the camera saw though the glimmer that hides her true self.

      • Parakeetist

        She’s a vampire.

      • HarpyLibtart

        My favorite theory is that somewhere there is a painting of Kellyanne getting younger and hotter every time she’s caught on film lying for Trump…if she manages to bring about the Apocalypse, she gets to swap bodies.

    • Mike Steele

      Cannot wait until Facebook/Cambridge/Mercer/Conway/Bannon/Kushner/Miller nexus reaches critical mass, and the whole traitorous cabal is exposed. Hopefully, the vortex will consume Family Trump, all things Pence and Sessions, and the GOP collaborators, such as Ryan, Nunes, Rohrabacher, McConnell, Gowdy, etc.

    • Internet Hitler

      Save me, Black Jesus!

  • bookish

    Even the little scaly grey ones are adorable. Thanks, Mother Nature.

  • Panika MCD

    the dude who suggested having enormous facilities to be used exclusively as disaster shelters is still mad at me for telling him why that will never happen. he said he was “just spit balling” and yet can’t take “a giant facility with only one use will never happen, that’s why we use multi-use facilities for this” as an answer. I am apparently insufficiently altruistic to think that letting kids have their high school basketball tournaments or people having Consumermas bazaars in such places when they’re not being used to house people. I have failed you, Wonketariate.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Anybody with neighbors and a hundred square feet of garage space that you can see the floor of knows space doesn’t stay empty “just in case.” It would need razor wire and armed guards 365 days a year.

      • Panika MCD

        and can you imagine how many “government waste” ads it would result in?

      • Panika MCD

        oops. a friend pointed out that DRK Texas Memorial Stadium is used exclusively for disasters. (only college football fans will get this joke because I had to look it up.)

    • sarafina

      These things happen.

  • Parakeetist

    I’m north of Tampa. Went to church last night. Now sitting around watching teevee. It hasn’t hit our area yet. Track seems to have moved more to the east. We’ll get heavy wind and rain starting Saturday, but the main brunt of it will probably go from Miami up the east side of the state. I’m on the west.

    • II Gosala
      • cmd resistor

        Can’t count on anything on this one. It has been on this side and that side of Florida so many times I’ve lost “track,” (ha ha, hurricane humor is not easy.) We are on the east side of Fla about midway so are certain to have something but who knows what.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Stay safe. (speaking from the west side of FL.)

    • VirginiaWackelpudding

      Katia is on the west side. Sorry, but you’re surrounded. Go away for a week or so cause none of this is fun time.

      • Raan

        Katia’s isn’t moving at all, and the NHC forecast has it slamming into Mexico over the weekend.

        • VirginiaWackelpudding

          I thought it was gaining strength and moving slowly up? I hope you are right. I also hope all of them go back out to sea and dissolve or something non dangerous!

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Thanks for the update! Stay safe!

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      I’m south of you in Sarasota. I think you will fare a little better there. Good luck to you and stay safe.

      • Parakeetist

        Thanks. Be safe too.

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    An intresting article on BDS and why Israel and its allies are out to destroy it. https://theoutline.com/post/2204/whos-afraid-of-b-d-s-boycott-divestment-sanctions

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Re Biss and the Berniecrats, no worries. They’ll all vote for Pawar anyway to prove they aren’t racists, except for the ones who vote for Chris Kennedy because they went to school with someone who went to school with someone who was Caroline’s roommate’s cousin, so he’s practically family.

    • paxpax

      Yay Pawar!!

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Pawar is really great, but I think it’s a nonstarter downstate. Really steep name recognition hill to climb. I love Biss and I’m really pissed about how he fucked up the running mate thing.

        • Not Chicago’s biases will kill Pawar, but it’ll be good for him to see how the machine works. Him and Rosa have a bright future, and my old editor and I think it’s funny that Biss publicly shat the bed. I’ve briefly had drinks with Rosa, and he is a genuinely nice person who believes the things he says on the stump.

          • Internet Hitler

            Same with Biss, who I’ve found to be a good egg. Should’ve vetted his LG choice better, maybe taken more time.

          • House0fTheBlueLights

            This was my take as well. I don’t think he’ll be governor, but I’m not betting against him making it to the White House someday. He has that spark, and that connection.

      • i got redistricted out of pawar and all i got in return was o’connor.

        sucks.

    • Bitter Scribe

      It will piss me off no end if J.B. Prtizker, a man of no accomplishments whatever except membership in what our esteemed president called the Lucky Sperm Club, manages to buy the nomination. I’d still vote for him in the general, because I would vote for a neglected compost pile over Rauner, but I won’t be happy about more rich-guy governance.

  • Me not sure

    I just saw that Atlanta Motor Speedway, south of town on US 41, has opened its massive facility to refugees who can camp out. If you have a Recreational Vehicle or camping equipment, come on up. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d098ce087d98363714d597a74120941890b1c3d5f155832d9b04b545e4c200e9.jpg

    • Mike Steele

      Likewise, we saw, Talladega. Ricky Bobby is a true populist:)

      • Me not sure

        Thank you, baby Jesus!

  • Crank Tango

    Ugh my stomach is in knots about Irma, my aunt and uncle are staying put in Cutler Ridge, probably because their dog is illegal in Dade county.

  • ZangoCrudmonger

    Hopefully everyone’s Florida Rooms will be there when this is over and the dahlias will not be dead. Be safe! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzw-mcIJpbI

  • Florida Man: GET OUT.

    So, relax and read a magazine?
    https://www.out.com/sites/out.com/files/2015/11/09/ocoverlo.jpg

  • VirginiaWackelpudding

    That armadillo is neither screaming nor hairy. It’s just a lil cutie. I feel used and ashamed.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Click bait. ;-)

    • Mike Steele

      Frankie the Wonder Dog came to us via Saved Souls rescue group in DE, having been shipped in from San Antonio. Her lineage and obviously dysfunctional upbringing are unknowable. Nonetheless, we’re amazed that she has NO use for any toys, balls, pull-things, but has adopted, fallen in love with and basically worn out a corduroy-ish armadillo we found in WalMart. Perhaps they were once buds.

  • tehbaddr

    I wants to take the Armadillo home and make him my snuggly wuggly friend!

  • chadingo

    I haven’t read all your comments but I haven’t seen any note in the media or commentary that Irma is headed straight for Mar a Lago. And I have to note that I’m glad that I’m not trumpski’s insurance agent.

  • Zyxomma

    Common Cause’s report on the Commission on Voter Suppression is out: https://flawedfromthestart.org/?autologin=true

  • covfefesumgame0005

    Please note that every house/building destroyed have one thing in common. Flat sides and square corners in a hurricane prone zone. long flat walls become effectively sails for the high winds and built low to the ground lets flood waters have easy ingress. there are houses designed to allow the wind to flow around them and on stilts to avoid most of the water washing in, I would be interested to see how many of them survived? if any, I doubt any of them were built for this

  • Querolous

    Mr, Harry Armadillo please meet Mr. Harry Nose Wombat.

  • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

    “The utter contempt with which privileged Eastern liberals such as myself discuss red-state, gun-country, working-class America as ridiculous and morons and rubes,” charged the celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain, “is largely responsible for the upswell of rage and contempt and desire to pull down the temple that we’re seeing now.”

    That black people, who have lived for centuries under such derision and condescension, have not yet been driven into the arms of Trump does not trouble these theoreticians. After all, in this analysis, Trump’s racism and the racism of his supporters are incidental to his rise. Indeed, the alleged glee with which liberals call out Trump’s bigotry is assigned even more power than the bigotry itself. Ostensibly assaulted by campus protests, battered by arguments about intersectionality, and oppressed by new bathroom rights, a blameless white working class did the only thing any reasonable polity might: elect an orcish reality-television star who insists on taking his intelligence briefings in picture-book form.

    https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/10/the-first-white-president-ta-nehisi-coates/537909/

  • SkinlessGenderlessMan

    Hi, Florida Man here.

    Mrs. SG Man and I are getting ready to take the cats, leave the house and weather the storm in a fairly well built warehouse that has seen a few of these.

    Hoping the storm surge hits at low tide, as we are only a couple feet above high tide.

    Blarney, if you read this, best wishes wherever you got to! Reply after and Disqus will let me know you’re OK.

    • phoenix00

      Stay safe!

      • SkinlessGenderlessMan

        Thanks! We are, and it looks like we are not getting the worst of it.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Stay safe! From Sarasota FL.

      • SkinlessGenderlessMan

        Thank you! You too!!

  • janecita

    I support the BDS 100%, and I’m not a “hipster,” or a “Bernicrat.”

Previous articleTotally Normal Lady Says You Only Hate Trump Because Ben Sasse Was Denny Hastert’s Gay Pimp
Next articleTrump Lawyer Successfully Baited With Hairy Nutsack