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Figure-outer of things

Were we not just learning that the only reason people hate Donald Trump is because they are being Satan-washed in their brains by special radio frequencies? OK, well that is still very FACTCHECK TRUE, but Right Wing Watch flags another one of the reasons you hate Donald Trump. According to a not-at-all crazy lady named Liz Crokin, who exists (ALLEGEDLY), part of the reason people hate Trump, especially #NeverTrump Republicans, is because they are all big #PizzaGaters. MORE SPECIFICALLY, she is just pretty sure you and everybody else hate Trump because Nebraska GOP Senator Ben Sasse used to use himself as a sexxx lure to bait underage boys to Omaha, so that Denny Hastert could travel from Illinois to Omaha, for the purposes of doing underage sex to them. Or something like that. We are not entirely clear?

Here, let Crokin ‘splain you on some kind of Jesus program, where she is identified simply as a “journalist”:

Crokin encouraged viewers to “look very closely at the people who are screaming the loudest, complaining about President Trump” because “every single one of those people, you’ll find—because I’ve researched all these scumbags—you will find that all of these people have ties to sex trafficking rings, ties to pedophilia, ties to pedophiles.”

Every. Single. One. She has DONE THE RESEARCH!

“For example, Sen. Ben Sasse from Nebraska” she said. “We know that there was a huge cover-up with the trafficking of young boys to politicians from Omaha, Nebraska. He’s one of the Republicans that has been screaming the loudest against President Trump. Well, he used to work for Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert, okay? And there are people who claim that his job working for Dennis Hastert was to help lure young, underage boys for Dennis Hastert, who went to jail for raping boys.”

OK, let’s unpack this real fast.

Granted, Hastert is a bona fide sex offender pedo creep rapist. Obviously.

And granted, Omaha is in Nebraska, which is only two states away from Illinois, where Denny Hastert is from. So … one tank of gas each way?

And granted, Ben Sasse did work for the Congressional page program in the late 1990s when Hastert was speaker.

And granted, there was a crazy thing in Omaha between 1988 and 1992, where there were unproven claims of a massive underage child sex trafficking operation known as the Franklin child prostitution ring. It was bugfuck crazy, almost certainly not true, and seemed to be part of the 1980s Satanic Panic that gripped the nation, 99.999999% of which was unmitigated bullshit. But if you ever saw an episode of Sally Jessy Raphael or Geraldo, you know what we’re talking about.

But despite all those #TrueFacts, we are still worried that MAYBE Ms. Crokin is smoking crack. She didn’t make up the conspiracy theory, of course. Esteemed serious journalists like Mike Cernovich have been making it up since spring of 2016, because they just couldn’t figure out why all these Republicans with brain cells hated Donald Trump during the primaries. It didn’t take them long to figure out that OBVIOUSLY it’s because of all the pedophilia, OBVIOUSLY. Hey, if Hillary was doing #PizzaGate in coastal elitist Washington (and she wasn’t), doesn’t it stand to reason that Trump’s Republican opponents were probably also doing #PizzaGate in heartland Nebraska?

Don’t worry, this makes sense inside the pool of syphilitic bat smegma that (allegedly!) lives inside the cranial cavities of Mike Cernovich and what’s her face up there in that video.

We don’t see, though, how Crokin is using her squirrel brain to merge Hastert’s page program in the late 1990s with the Omaha conspiracy theory in the late 1980s. Did Denny Hastert come to Omaha so a 16-year-old Ben Sasse could find him hot boys? And why would Ben Sasse have that kind of job as a 16-year-old? Like, OK, fine, “GET A JOB, YOUNGSTER, LEARN SOME RESPONSIBILITY,” but wouldn’t it be more likely for a young Nebraska teenager like Benjamin to get a job at the Dairy Queen, instead of being the Omaha liaison for Denny Hastert’s international boy fucking cartel? Did his guidance counselor tell him about the job?

We simply don’t know, but we are definitely convinced. Please admit that this is why you hate Trump in the comments of this, your OPEN THREAD.

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  • proudgrampa

    Uh. Okay.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Release the Crokin!
    /from the straight jacket of sanity/

  • The Wanderer

    Release the Crokin!!!111!!!

  • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

    Used to be these drooling morons just ranted on the corners and at Pa’s Feed Store. The internet shines a light on them and lets them talk louder

  • Lyly Sirivong

    Hey miss, ever been to Bowling Green ?

    • ManchuCandidate

      Does he ask this before or after he shoves her into his clown van?

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Michael Moore is an asshole. He’s been right – really right – about twice, and he’s been dining out on it ever since.

      • He’s been right more than twice. What was he wrong about?

        Farenheit was very factual.

        Sicko was also mostly factual.

        Great movies, not boring like many Documentaries.

        • janecita

          Bowling for Columbine was also factual.

          • Yes.

            And his TV series was great, too.

            I remember him interviewing the CEO of IBM and asked him what IBM made? All he had were B-school buzz words. It was hilarious.

        • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

          eh, he has his tricks and faults. I heard a story from a good source he was using fake production company names to get people to do interviews. He wasn’t even in the room.

          • So what? That’s laughable if you think that’s “serious”

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            I think it’s dishonest.

    • spangled

      the press would have liked that reaction if michael moore or donald trump or bernie sanders or tim kaine did it, not hillary clinton.

      he really doesn’t understand what it’s like to be a woman in a position of power, show ANY weakness and people start talking about how your lady parts hold you back.

      …people freaked out years ago when she referenced tammy wynette, he thinks they wouldn’t throw an absolute fit if she cursed publicly?

      • The “friendly” media spent waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much ink on her emails. Many voted for Trump because they were brainwashed by the NYT, WaPo, Fox, CNN, etc.

        She should have hit back and HARD. MM was right. Read the article. 😎

        • spangled

          I read the article, I still disagree. Many have criticized Clinton for being unflappable and inhuman, but she developed that trait for a reason. It’s because every time she says something that’s not perfect, she gets lambasted by everyone. Hell, Michael Moore himself is probably one of the people who would do it.

          Look, I like the guy ok. But he has never really grasped how this country treats women.

          I also dislike how he buys into the republican premise of “real heartland America”. Everywhere is America is real America, even the coasts. To paint cities and the coasts as places of the frivolous wealthy is to a ignore the millions of poor (mostly POC) who live in the cities. Hes obsessed with the idea of the heartland
          white working class, a group that will not vote for democrats again.

          Also, pretty rich to hear about how I live in a bubble from a guy who “has lived on the Upper West Side for 25 years, but still identifies as an outsider”

          • Look, I like the guy ok. But he has never really grasped how this country treats women.

            HRC wasn’t the first woman to run for President, but she did make it the farthest.

            If you’re saying people have an inherant unconscious bias against women (probably) that would prevent the majority of people for voting for a female leader, then HRC should have acted “more like a man” (see KaC) or not ran as President, but as VP?

            I also dislike how he buys into the republican premise of “real heartland America”. Everywhere is America is real America, even the coasts. To paint cities and the coasts as places of the frivolous wealthy is to a ignore the millions of poor (mostly POC) who live in the cities. Hes obsessed with the idea of the heartland
            white working class, a group that will not vote for democrats again.

            First of all almost everyone is Working Class, you, me and even the 1%.

            Are you referring to the 70-75% of the population who don’t have a College degree? They’re screwed. Automation.

            Even the College educated are screwed due to Automation, hardware and software.

            Doesn’t matter if White or POC.

            Have you seen Dana Carveys Straight White Male, 60? Great impressions of both Hillary and Trump.

            His summary of Hillary was spot on. Her vagueness was a liability. Trump oversimplified. But she couldn’t break it down enough.

            Basically Trump is riding a political backlash against Automation.

          • spangled

            absolutely people have an unconscious bias towards women. i don’t think that would prevent a MAJORITY for voting for a female, but it does cause them to judge female politicians (and other public figures) more harshly than male ones.

            and i bet hillary and her team had weekly meetings about how masculine/feminine she should act. just like I bet how obama tried to figure out how black or white he should act. we shouldn’t give up on electing diverse leaders because racism/sexism still exists, those things existing is WHY we should elect diverse leaders.

            100% americans are losing jobs because of automation, of course. my issue with moore is that instead of focusing on all americans who are hurt by automation, he is uber focused on the rust belt white working class. whether we live in the middle of the country or in a big liberal cities, we’re all “real americans”. and it’s a total lie that the economic anxiety of the poor workers who have been replaced by automation led them to vote for trump. the poorest people in the country voted for hillary. only white poor people voted trump.

            i also don’t think vagueness was her problem, if you check her website she had pages and pages of detailed policy. her problem was not being able to capture the intricacies of that policy in a catchy zeitgeist-y way. he was able to do it because he had no policy, only vague-ness.

            I don’t think Trump is riding a political backlash against automation, he’s riding a backlash against the first black president. Ta Nehisi Coates puts it better than I ever could – https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/10/the-first-white-president-ta-nehisi-coates/537909/.

          • i also don’t think vagueness was her problem, if you check her website she had pages and pages of detailed policy. her problem was not being able to capture the intricacies of that policy in a catchy zeitgeist-y way. he was able to do it because he had no policy, only vague-ness.

            And Bernie had no real detailed policies either.

            But Dana Carveys impression of Hillary is spot on. She had no big ideas. Trump had big ideas. Bad ideas, but big.

            I think Hillary and many other D’s don’t understand what MM knows…you need to go “big”.

            Farenheight was not “small”.

            Sicko was not “small”.

            HRC was part of the problem.

            The 70-75% of Americans don’t understand nuance. Triangulating. That’s why HRC didn’t win in a landslide.

            BTW, if you want to blame the 18 election results on Russian meddling, nothing has changed.

            There is no reason to believe anything has changed and the 20 election will also be influenced by Zucker bots.

          • spangled

            i think we’re kinda talking around eachother.

            but i totally agree on this point, moore isn’t exactly subtle or nuanced, his films are big statements that hit you over the head with their point. they’re also very successful.

            for people to pay attention to you in our increasingly ADD world, you gotta be big. and hillary wasn’t. we need bluster and showmanship for a candidate to win, but we also need those specific policy ideas for them to govern effectively.

            and yeah, looks like for the foreseeable future russian bots are going to be fucking with us – especially with easily duped americans who don’t get nuance. so we need a democratic candidate who can overcome that chatter and control the conversation.

    • JMP

      Is he fucking kidding? If Hillary Clinton had dared showed emotion in public while being a woman, the media would have lead with “Clinton in hysterics!”, and pushed it for weeks. That’s the exact opposite of what would have happened!

      • So Fucking what? They crucified her about emails. She should have CUSSED THE NEW YORK TIMES OUT DURING THE DEBATE.

        STOOD UP TO THOSE MONSTERS. GRRR.

        “Judith Fucking Miller”

  • TJ Barke

    I mostly hate Trump because he’s a mentally incompetent, authoritarian scumbag.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    God damn, I hate Trump and I didn’t even know that I’m tied into a sex pedophilia ring. I probably live in a pizzeria basement too AND I NEVER EVEN KNEW! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3d0ff943f784e33f2ee9b850fca52c17c0f66ed4bd68728754eef7b6c5d63a44.gif R

    • Invisible Bunyip

      Man, I wish I lived in a pizza basement… with an intercom for my orders.

      • willi0000000

        is there a dumbwaiter? . . . is it electric?

        [ whaddyamean lazy ? ]

  • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

    OT: You guys, something awful seems to be happening in Barbuda. https://twitter.com/invisibleman_17/status/905538936092622848

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Fuck. So awful.

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        There’s still a whole lot of contradictory information, ranging from “no fatalities” to “over a 1000 dead.” “90% of structures destroyed” seems to be a constant though. Horrifying. Thank goodness our POTUS pulled out of the Paris accord, though. /heavy, heavy, HEAVY sarcasm

        • janecita

          Fuck! There are only around 1600 people in this tiny island.

    • TJ Barke

      It’s just a Chinese hoax.

      • Jenny

        Hoisted by lying libtards like Al Gore!

        • TJ Barke

          Exactly as bad as Chairman Mao.

    • Amelia Resists and Persists

      I was afraid of that. Fuck.

    • janecita

      Poor people, hopefully the loss of lives won’t be as bad.

    • Lyly Sirivong

      I’ve seen horrifying figures for casualties but apparently it was a misunderstanding, nothing’s confirmed, there’s a lot of confusion. It’s a nightmare.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        I saw 2 have been confirmed.

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        Yes, there’s nothing but confusion. Fingers crossed.

    • willi0000000

      given the trouble settling on the amount to start relief in Texas (c’mon, even i could tell that $10 billion would be a good place to start with more to come when they get their poop in a group) . . . i really worry for the poor folks in Puerto Rico.

      too many citizens of this country don’t know that the people there are citizens and wouldn’t care if they did know . . . it’s just going to be one round of “they ain’t Murrikans” and “eww, those are brown people” after another.

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        Yerp

  • TundraGrifter

    OK – I’ll go first.

    She seems nice.

  • Nounverb911

    Her name sounds like it’s authentic frontier gibberish.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ke5Mr5eCF2U

    • TundraGrifter

      Authentic Western Gibberish lives on! Listen to the great Ranger Doug radio show each weekend. Sidemeat takes care of it.

  • Raan

    I hate Trump because fuckin’ look at everything he says, does, and stands for.

  • Indiepalin

    Is is possible that extraterrestrials ran a child sex ring out of a DC pizza parlor during the 2016 election? To many Ancient Astronaut Theorists, the answer is a resounding Yes.

  • Jenny

    We don’t really build basements here in Texas. We have to move our pedophile pizza rings to the lean to’s.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Open Thread!

    I got the internship with a local government attorney offices. No pay, but sweet sweet experience (in pretty interesting stuff)!

    • Suttree

      yay!!!!!

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Good for you but the no pay sucks. Leachers.

    • TJ Barke

      How exactly do they expect you to live without pay?

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Hurricane relief?

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        I have my student loan disbursement and of course the ever generous TX mom. (Which is shameful at my age, but there you go).

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          Don’t feel ashamed to take money from your parents. I still owe them some but they are debt free and live in a mortgage free 400K house with a nice pension. Just make sure you can provide for them if needed but most importantly visit them every week when they can no longer travel easily.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        VOLUME!!!

        /rimshot

    • shivaskeeper

      Very good. It goes without saying, but get all the experience you can and parlay it into a better paycheck when the internship is done.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        ayup – it’s about the only thing I’m missing right now – trying to break in with no experience is driving me nuts!

        • willi0000000

          what does it tell you when every job in a particular field requires previous experience in the field?

          .
          .
          .

          nope . . . it tells you that people are lying to get those jobs.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            I’m convinced only the bottom % are actually willing to train – only to have experienced people immediately get better jobs elsewhere.
            Which is odd, because my schoolmates – as much as I like most of them – some of them are dumb as hell and working.

          • willi0000000

            they’re the ones lying at interviews!

    • Paul

      YAYYYYYY.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    “Dennis Hastert, who went to jail for raping boys”

    FALSE Liz Crokin, Journalist. Hastert went to jail for financial crimes (“structuring”) involving the payoff money. I learned that in 30 seconds from The Google. And I am not even a journalist.

    • TundraGrifter

      But now you can play one on TV using your real life experience as your motivation.

    • natoslug

      But are you a “journalist”?

  • WotsAllThisThen

    It was bugfuck crazy, almost certainly not true, and seemed to be part of the 1980s Satanic Panic that gripped the nation

    Did someone call for a Satanic Panic?

  • BadKitty904

    I hate Trump because he is the breathing, babbling, betraying antithesis of EVERYTHING America should stand for.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      He is the distilled essence of the modern Republican party. Aggressively stupid, proudly ignorant, completely mendacious, utterly corrupt and the embodiment of rank hypocrisy. Possessed of absolutely no morality, and only one principle – “IOKIYAR.”

  • Beanz&Berryz

    “Every. Single. One.” What a douche… Just fuck her sideways… That God does not smite her smottenly for rat-fucking on the TeeVees in His name is stark raving proof that He does not exist…

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Yahweh?……Yahweh?…..Yahweh?

      /Ben Stein’s voice

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Yippee kai Yahweh!

  • Suttree

    Syphilitic Bat Smegma is the name of my new straight edge Fugazi/polka band.

    • Arolpin

      But how do you ever get Syphilitic Bat Smegma to sound good in 3/4 time? Or since it’s punk-polka, you just do it in 7/8?

      • Suttree

        The horns will cover every everything up.

        • Arolpin

          Oh, you’re a fan of the Orange Crush All-Stars too? (Mid-90s ska band in NYC, led by a tiny little thing in red Doc Martens and an enormous baritone sax. I’m not even sure they were any good, but those horns covered a multitude of sins.)

          • Suttree

            I don’t believe so. I remember a bit too much of 311.

  • Belasaurius

    well they’re on to us

  • Msgr_MΩment

    She seems deranged.

    • bupkus231

      That’s the mildest criticism of her that I can think of….

    • natoslug

      She seems like she should talk to Trey Gowdy’s helmet supplier.

  • Belasaurius

    OMG, my old high school, Lee High School, is changing the name and my classmates are going apeshit. Was I the only one who did not peak in high school?

    • natoslug

      Man, I wish I’d been able to attend Bruce Lee High School . . .

      • Belasaurius

        me too

      • WotsAllThisThen

        A buttload of gangs in that school. This one gang kept wanting me to join ’cause I’m pretty good with a bo staff.

        https://bettermanin2013.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/nd-bo-staff.jpg

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        this was my idea to the Robert E. Lee street in my town. Seriously, a commenter mentioned it and I sent an email to the city rep about it.

    • GunToting[Redacted]

      I’ll always treasure my time at Lee Majors High School.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Were you a pharaoh faucet major?

      • WotsAllThisThen

        The track meet must be deafening with all the dun-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh sounds.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      True story: a dozen years ago here the fee-fees of a few soccer mamas got wounded so badly by the name of the Fannie Bush elementary school that they changed the name . . . to F. Bush. When I heard the news, I said, “Oh! I have one of their bumper stickers!”
      Some people got it right away.

  • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude

    Q: Why don’t Congressional Republicans use book marks?
    A: Because they bend over pages

    • Raan

      I thought it was because they never read.

    • armed_bears

      Worked as a Congressional intern (House intern, not page) in the magical page-tastic summer of ’83. Some seriously bad people did some seriously bad stuff to the young’uns. Just saying.

      • janecita

        Poor baby:-( Where did Strom Thurmond touch you?

        • armed_bears

          ’83 was the summer of telephone deregulation and binary chemical weapons hearings. So, yeah, hot times.

  • JMP

    I’ve heard that Trump supporters all have ties to a guy who has sexually assaulted dozens of women, even bragged about how he gets away with it because he’s rich and famous, and who constantly talks about how much he really wants to fuck his daughter that isn’t Tiffany.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      I hear that they all get together for daughter diddling at the local Sunday school.

  • bupkus231

    Geez – like Rump’s tweets, we have to stop paying attention to every other nutjob out there. It’s bad enough this twunt got airtime on a channel that has to make dubious claims to 1.6N viewers:

    Link: http://www.thecrosstv.com/about-us

    We broadcast in the Middle East and Europe through Nile satellite and Intel satellite 10 on Africa. Before October 2, 2013, our viewership was 160 million. We have added a local LA greater Antenna Channel, which opens up viewership to the local ministries in greater Los Angeles area; as well as satellite ASIA SAT 5, which opens up viewership to China, North Korea, South Korea, India-Pakistan and Indonesia. Year to date the way TV Network has the potential viewership platform of 1.6 billion viewers. We pray for our next step to be added to the Dish Network.

    [ I got a better idea – fuck the Dish Network if they pick these simpletons up ]

    But, do we really need to pay attention to them, even just to make fun of them?

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Also off topic: Our navy almost at Sint Maarten providing first relief.
    https://twitter.com/kon_marine/status/905474577408684032

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Translation: Ms. Zeeland, your pelican architect is underway near the WindCows and will be a-landin’ for Biden’s noodle soup in the van. Not available: Orkin man. Irma will be there.

      • janecita

        Your Dutch is impeccable! Bravo!

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          It sure is! :D

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        That made me smile. :)

      • weighmaster

        Best laugh I’ve had today. :)

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I hate Dolt 45 because there are more flies and mosquitos around this summer than there were during the entire Obama administration put together. #sciencefact

    • Meccalopolis

      I find a hair in my omelet and blamed t rump

  • natoslug

    O.?a.?a =~ both Obama and Omaha! It all makes sense now! Thank you, Jesus squirrel “journalist” for your wisdom!!111!!1!!1

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      And Omega. And O’Hara. And Opra(h). And BENGHAZI!!1!

      • Beautiful Soup

        And Ohara, the Pat Morita vehicle!

      • JMP

        Oprah, Uma; Uma, Oprah. We’re through the looking glass, people!!

      • natoslug

        Hmmmm . . . one of us needs to brush up on his regular expressions, and I really hope it isn’t me.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Computer humor. And you didn’t get ZZOTTed for it!

          I hate my life.

        • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

          I saw the regex but a) thought it was too arcane even for wonket; b) i ALWAYS get regex’s wrong … it makes me an insane crazy person. Fortunately I found some websites which are something like RandomlyGuessUntilYouGetItToWork.com

          • natoslug

            I rarely need ?, usually just the lazy man’s *.

  • spangled

    y’all remember like 3 weeks ago when Trump liked a tweet accusing him of being a pedophile sex trafficker. and it was the 13th tweet he had ever liked?

    i wonder what the fuck these pizzagate weirdos would do if there was conclusive proof that trump was into underage girls. he openly admitted to walking into the girls changing room at his pageant for chrissakes.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      “he openly admitted to walking into the girls changing room at his pageant for chrissakes.”

      that’s totally different! -Trumpkins

      • Holly

        pussy grabbing….FOR FUCKS SAKE there’s the fucking pussy grabbing…what don’t they understand? It’s as if they are being willfully ignorant in order to save their already totally fucked principles (I say that like they even know what principles are). Silly me.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    “…the 1980s Satanic Panic..”

    I’ve been experiencing a Satanic Panic since Nov 8th.

  • Meccalopolis

    I hate t rump but do not have sexy times feelings for young boys, is that ok?

  • La forza del resistino

    Hi Ms. Crokin. my labrador, Bonnie, can balance a marshmallow on her snout. Can you?

    • bupkus231

      Please do not compare this whackjob with a noble friend of mankind….

    • shivaskeeper

      My lab will eat the marshmallows without hesitation. And then look at me to say, “What did you expect? You put awesome goodness on my nose. I am a lab, self control in not one of my strong suits”.

      • La forza del resistino

        I hear you. Bonnie is good for about 10 seconds and then the applause winds down and the marshmallow vanishes.

        • shivaskeeper

          The lack of self control is mire than made up for the enthusiasm which she approaches everything in life with.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Gonna have to show us s’more pictures.

  • Crystalclear12

    I hate Trump because I’ve heard him speak.
    ‘ nuff said.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      My buff only speaks in consonants.

      • Crystalclear12

        Kindle thinks it know me well enough to correct me.
        It doesn’t.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Some of those correction thingies seem to display a certain sense of humor, though.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Kinda wish this wasn’t our open thread, but have to say: “And there are people who claim that his job working for Dennis Hastert…”

    Yeah, and people claim the world is fucking flat. This “journalist” couldn’t give us some names of the esteemed people who believe this? Or absolutely anything in the way of evidence? I mean at least the Pizzagate guys had some really crazy graphics “interpreting” emails and faceplace posts.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      It’s such a classic Fox News type move: say and claim and say and claim over on another program, then start saying “people are saying” “People are claiming.” Such a simple, transparent trick, and yet we have so many morons who fall for it.

      • JMP

        Some people are saying that Liz Crokin “journalist” is actually the DC Madame, who faked her own suicide and got extensive plastic surgery to take a new identity.

  • unclejeems

    Yep, she’s bug-fucking crazy. But . . . but . . . but . . .

    IOKIYAFECh

    It’s OK if you are a fundamentalist and/or evangelical Christian.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Oh, honey, put on some sunscreen, find yourself a bra, and go do something useful with your time, mmm-kay?

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Make her useful. Give her a broom so she can stick it up her butt. That way, she can sweep the floor as she’s wandering around aimlessly.

      Might need to pad out the handle with a couple rolls of duct tape, though. Otherwise it will fall out.

  • shivaskeeper

    This kind of shit is what passes for rational thought among the religious addled minds of the far right. This is what passed for rational though among them for decades. The only difference between then and now is then they were marginalized as the cranks they are, while now they get taken somewhat seriously.

    Yes, I know not all religious people buy into it, and not all the denominations, but for a certain subset who are pretty much guaranteed GOPer voters, this is their reality.

    We are partially to blame for this as well. Tolerating absolute bullshit like this and not personally shutting it down when it crops up is our fault. Not challenging things like this in order to not offend gave the mindset legitimacy. All we can do at this point in point and laugh and be utterly ruthless about pointing out how stupid, paranoid, and insane this shit is. It will not change any minds of the fools spouting this nonsense, but it should make for less fertile ground for it to rake root in.

    Edit to correct the auto-correct.

  • JMP

    If the pedophile supporters are never-Trumpers, than why the fuck was (still, currently) friend of the Duggars Mike Huckabee one of Donald’s biggest boosters, to the point where his daughter is the press secretary?

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      “but they found god!” – Fucking hypocritical RWNJs

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    BULLETIN
    Hurricane Irma Advisory Number 31
    NWS National Hurricane Center Miami FL AL112017
    500 PM AST Wed Sep 06 2017

    CHANGES WITH THIS ADVISORY:

    The government of the Bahamas has issued a Hurricane Warning for
    the central Bahamas, including Cat Island, the Exumas, Long Island,
    Rum Cay, and San Salvador. A Hurricane Watch has been issued for
    the northwestern Bahamas, including the Abacos, Andros Island,
    Berry Islands, Bimini, Eleuthera, Grand Bahama Island, and New
    Providence.

    The government of Cuba has issued a Tropical Storm Warning for the
    Cuban provinces of Guantanamo, Holguin, and Las Tunas.

    Irma is turning north …
    http://hurricane.terrapin.com/ATL-11A/ctrack.html

  • Daniel

    I hate Trump because the illuminati are changing my DNA with lasers. I feel self-conscious now I find out everyone else is doing it for sex.

    • Meccalopolis

      440 Mhz libel!!111!!!!

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Do you deny the existence of pizza shop basements? That’s where they keep the canned clams.

    • Meccalopolis

      That’s monstrous!

    • Paul

      Stealing Holly’s line here… “And those cakes we like!”

  • Crystalclear12

    You can just hear the caps lock and exclamation points in her voice, can’t you?

  • BigCSouthside

    Kinda funny, since I’d bet my bonus that before all of this is over Donald John Trump will be irrefutably linked to illegal acts with underage girls

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      I have been saying this for months. The pee tapes are NOTHING. I am convinced there is Kompromat on him that links him to money laundering Russian mob money, and participating in heinous crimes which could very possibly include child sex trafficking. THAT’S what he’s trying to hide. No one really cares about hookers and peeing, that’s why he hasn’t resigned over trying to hide THAT.

    • Spurning Beer

      Wait. You get a bonus?

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    I hadn’t heard of a Franklin child sex ring, but my own town had a similar scandal a few years after that (1995), in which dozens of people were implicated – some I know were guilty, because I went to school with their daughters. Others, I don’t know. It kind of tore the town apart and it’s something you can’t talk about with anyone at all.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      There was that whole other witch hunt to do with a preschool and terrible accusations that ruined lives (and were all false) and I don’t have the heart to go look up the specifics.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Our town scandal was called a witch hunt by many, but seriously, one of the girls who was caught up in it had actually given birth to her father’s child a year previously. I was just leaving for college when all the shit really hit the fan, and I wasn’t sure what was what. I know my mom still loses her damn mind over it (she believes it was all real) and it’s all horrible to think about, whatever the truth was.

        • Meccalopolis

          Could be some of those satanic panics started out as ordinary sexual abuse by a family member

          • C4TWOMAN

            I suspect some of them start as stories made of by abuse survivors who either don’t clearly remember who did it and are processing (without help, obviously) and some who do but don’t feel safe naming the accuser so they say satanists”. This of course is bad news for any loners or free spirits in town who immediately become suspects.

          • Arolpin

            I recently read a followup about a couple in Texas who were finally released when the ‘medical expert’ who testified at trial recanted his testimony, but of course Texas wouldn’t find them innocent, so they forced another trial to be found not guilty so that they could get paid the $3million or whatever damages for being imprisoned for 20+ years. There was mention of the other Satanic Panic cases from the 80s, and there was a statement that investigators now believe that most of the abuse that DID happen (and the VAST MAJORITY of Satanic Panic cases were 100% bullshit) was almost certainly done by family members.
            I don’t want to know what kind of reprehensible mind has an easier time believing that Satan is forcing child-care providers to fly children to Mexico, murder babies and adults, bury them, engage in satanic rituals, and still have the kids ready for pickup at 5pm rather than believe that the abuser was a family member.

      • C4TWOMAN

        I think I know the one. It was heart breaking. The guy made animal outdoor toys for kids to climb on and they said there was a tunnel but there never was any underground structures. Horrible. I’m not sure if it was the same one were the prosecutor never lost his career(grr). UNfortunately there was more than one of theses cases. The thing that shocks me to this day is the horrible police work. There was supposed to be tapes of the abuse, but no tapes were ever found , or recording equipment or anything. WTF? And the children were of course traumatized….

      • Paul

        There was one here in western Mass. Young gay guy worked in a pre-school and got absolutely railroaded. He was small of stature and didn’t fare well in prison as you might imagine. Judge used to be the DA and let the prosecution get away with murder. Finally, finally, once the “recovered memories” scam was shown for what it was, he was released. Got a small settlement and went to live with his Mom, but the damage was done and he committed suicide a few years later. Every year on the date of his death his Mom posts a heart wrenching ad in the local paper and honors him and reams the system that ruined their lives. I read the most recent a couple of weeks ago and it still tears me apart. Dark days back then. Dark damn days.

        • C4TWOMAN
          • Paul

            Damn. Fourth one down. Bernard Baran. Poor bastard. This is necessarily a superficial treatment, but the basic fuckery is there.

            Supposed experts “interviewed” the pre-schoolers and coached them and steered them into statements often after the kids told them NOTHING happened. It was fucking heinous.

      • Werewolf

        It was here in Austin. Those poor people just got out of prison a couple of years ago, and finally were exonerated over the summer.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    I’ve researched all the Trump supporters, and they blow goats.

    • Raan

      In airport bathrooms.

    • The Wanderer

      I have read this upon the Internet, and therefore it must be true!

  • Michael Smith

    Speaking of insane conservative crap media:

    I’m reading a book about Europe in the 19th Century called “The Pursuit of Power,” by Richard J. Evans. The current chapter is describing the growth of cheap print media in the middle of the century, and the tendency of these papers to depict nothing but sex, outrageous crimes and moral panics. Although intellectuals of the period were aghast, these pulp tabloids made a lot of money and were very influential. One example was the La Petit Journal, founded in 1863, about which the author has this to say:

    “The proprietor, Moïse Polydore Millaud (1813 – 1871), told the first editor that he must be ‘Bold enough to appear stupid. Find out what the average man is thinking, then let yourself be guided by this.’ The paper reached sales of more than half a million by 1880.”

    The paper, by the way, was a major conservative propaganda tool.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      It’s actually really interesting–people wholly opposed Gutenberg’s printing press because of the same concerns that it would now be possible to spread lies and disinformation. Maybe they were right.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        “Of course, people would spread lies through the press. That’s exactly what WE would do!!!”

      • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

        Hence why libel exists, along with some other stuff. As long as humans have means of communication there will be lies and disinformation, what matters is what we as a society choose to do about it.

        Or not do about it, and let things become the preferred mode of communication for demagogues and dictators. AKA Twitter.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        And the first thing off the press was the Bibbel. Just goes to show.

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          Apparently, that was ultra-controversial–there were intense rival factions in the all-powerful Catholic church, especially in Catholic Germany at the time, and the idea of creating a “standard” Bible was fought over–would it be “reformed” or the older version?

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        The dissemination of ideas is always going to produce weirdness. A Medieval priest might have told you that not just any Thomas, Dickon, or Harold should be allowed to read the Bibbel because they might get crazy ideas about religion oh wait…..

        • C4TWOMAN

          In these cases the technology is a red herring. It’s about control with these people, whether it’s parchment and ink, printing or computers. These days the control freaks figure literacy is a feature not a bug: the unwashed can read? give them fake news!

    • C4TWOMAN

      Orwwell had some thoughts on the popular media of his time. Not the deep political stuff, but the more general tabloids and picture cards. Basically they’ll always be with us as an expression of the working class experience. But yeah, also too, they can be used as propaganda tools.

      • Michael Smith

        If you can manage to pair emotional exploitation with seemingly unrelated conservatives causes – “Here’s a story about a beautiful young virgin being raped in a Paris Alley.. its so horrible and terrifying! This could be your wife! Your daughter! You! And the rapist would have never been out on the street… except for that the socialists demanded he be released from prison!”

        This Millaud fellow sounds like he would get along well with Roger Ailes.

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          All hail Lee Atwater, too.

  • armed_bears

    Can you imagine? Her experience includes an “internship working for Bill O’Reilly at Fox News Channel”. Send her a Peabody.

    • OutOfOrbit

      “working for”?
      yeah, right

    • Edith Prickly

      I’ll send her an old loofah.

  • Crystalclear12

    You got to admire her work ethic though. Taking the time to investigate all of us. . . that’s commitment.

  • AnniNoone

    What is it about blonde dye jobs? Do you have to get one if you have ladyparts and want to join the Lying Wingnut Asshole Club?

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      yes

      • Arolpin

        Katrina Pierson libel!

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Meh. Let Katrina drink bleach.

    • OutOfOrbit

      of corse

    • C4TWOMAN

      Well duh.

    • Crystalclear12

      You know when your mom told not to leave the peroxide on too long or there would be damage?
      Now you know what she meant.

      • Raan

        It’s my belief that the female anchors on Fox News use more peroxide than an entire MASH unit.

      • bupkus231

        Who knew she meant brain damage, and not just hair damage?

        • Crystalclear12

          Always listen to your mother.
          She knows things!

    • shastakoala

      That’s the root of the problem.

    • jesterpunk

      Its special blond hair dye that kills brain cells.

  • C4TWOMAN

    All the people criticizing Trump have ties to pedophiles? That’s a rather broad unfounded allegation. Dare I say, made up.

    Mueller’s investigation must be making someone mighty uncomfortable….

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      so since she’s a journalist saying that, could one reasonably conclude it’s “news” that is “fake”?

      ; p

    • Rick Hill

      Truth be told, they also have to make excuses for why you shouldn’t look at the trumpster fire and the incompetent method of dealing with that fire by pouring jet fuel on it.

      • C4TWOMAN

        RDX or go home!

  • Daniel

    Isn’t it weird that the right cannot imagine so many people honestly dislike Trump and what he stands for and the only explanations they can think of are 1) they’re being paid to pretend to disagree with him or 2) they are somehow part of a sinister conspiracy for…some thing.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I suspect it has to do with their sneaking suspicion that what Dump stands for is all the evil and awfulness in the world, and that since they identify with him, we hate them too, as we should. In order not to feel the backlash of our hatred, they pretend we’re the ones with the problem.

      • Daniel

        I suspect it’s because it’s far easier than answering the criticisms and thinking about the horrible shit he does for which he receives that criticism.

  • janecita

    I personally hate Trump, because he is an incompetent asshole, that doesn’t know his ass from his elbow.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      That is for me the difference between Trump an Putin. I hate both but to a certain degree I respect putin. He might be a dictator but he understands the job and knows what he is doing. No matter how evil he is we know what to expect and he knows when to stop if nuclear holocaust is on the table.

      • janecita

        Putin is a politician, Trump is a senile idiot.

  • ltmcdies
    • Antonin Dvorak

      “Oh, yeah!”

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      That never grows old.

    • Meccalopolis

      Hey, kool aid!

    • Suttree

      It is never too soon!

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Cronkin’s been getting into the crank again, hasn’t she?

  • Suttree

    Ok peoples. So I went for the interview this morning. We (the owner and I) sat around and talked a bit. I showed him pictures of things that I have built. We talked about the passion for ironwork. He took me to show me a few pieces that he had personally made at a church near the shop. We then went to a building that he needed to take pictures of for a quote. Talking the whole time and figuring stuff out. Got back to the shop and he showed me his secrets! Haha! He actually has a small forge and a 25# and a 50# power hammer. He says that he cannot do the really cool artistic jobs anymore because he is too busy to build them. Yeah there were six other guys in the shop right then.Quote about the hammers is “I need a guy from New Orleans to do a little work on them so that they run right.” I start tomorrow morning at 7 a.m. Didn’t start where I wanted, but he says he’ll kick me up after a bit. I just hope that my back is able to keep up.

    • Shanzgood

      Good deal! So happy for you!

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      So all of us wonkers are getting back to work?

      • Suttree

        Apparently! I had thought that the summer would have been better. But fall is also good.

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          I hear ya.

        • OutOfOrbit

          now it won’t be so hot in the shop

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Next up is Doug … he’s been paying into the karma fund for a while.

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          go doug.

      • bookish

        Speaking of disaster capitalism. There’s projected to be a huge shortage of folks in the construction trades to rebuild after the hurricanes.

    • shivaskeeper

      Very good.

      • Suttree

        This man has the passion too! I see it in his eyes. A nice german fellow who has been in the states for a while. It’s funny in New Jersey. I swear people keep giving me interviews because I has a Slavic last name. (Not that Germans are Slavs of course) It’s just a thing up here that a lot of ironworkers are Slavs. There is at least 1 Polish guy there too.

        • Holly

          I lived in Pittsburgh for years and married a Ruskie. His dad was an ironworker…his dad was an ironworker….his dad…and so on. All these men were passion driven.

          • Suttree

            I love iron! It makes me happy! This guy seems like he feels the same way. I had to wait for 20 minutes before he got to the shop this morning. I sat there and watched his employees. Then we had our meeting. He needs to fire most of the people there. They have no passion!

          • Holly

            Passion is what turns the ordinary into the sublime. I’ve seen your work Suttree show them what passion means and what it creates. I’m so excited for you I can’t contain myself.

          • Paul

            Stifle Honey. Stifle.

            (Ducks and runs)

          • Holly

            Fuck you..and I mean that in the nicest way

          • Paul

            Aaaannnd THAT’s one of the reasons I love you. You don’t take no crap. I thought you southern women were supposed to be all demure and shit. Surprise!!!

          • Suttree

            Thanks Holly. I have a shit eating grin right now.

          • Holly

            That’s wonderful. I will tip a glass and toast in your direction.

          • Suttree

            Yay! Thank you kindly.

        • (((fka_donnie_d)))

          Which part of Jersey, you don’t mind my asking?

          • Suttree

            I live in Essex county.

          • (((fka_donnie_d)))

            No shit, Bergen co. here. If you want to get together for the purpose of consuming alcoholic beverages,
            shoot me an email at donovandigital at gmail dot com. But post here too, in case my spam filter gets overzealous.

          • Suttree

            I just had my first day of work today in a long time. Give me a couple of weeks to have drink money. We should do it! I just sent you an email.

          • (((fka_donnie_d)))

            Sorry, dude, no la tengo. Give it another shot, or see if it bounced maybe?

          • (((fka_donnie_d)))

            and/or give your email and/or subject so I can search better.

    • jesterpunk

      Congratulation Suttree, and good luck with your new job.

    • shivaskeeper

      2nd reply. Be upfront about your back and that you are doing physical therapy for it. I’m sure you know that already though.

      • Suttree

        We didn’t get to that today. I am going to tell him tomorrow. I was working up to that but he had to run to deal with a client. Tomorrow I will be sure to tell him! He does have a nice electric gantry hoist on the iron side of the building though. Not on the aluminum side though.

        • janecita

          I would not tell him, but that’s on you.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Not if neccesary.

          • Suttree

            It is necessary.

          • Suttree

            It is necessary. I will see how it goes tomorrow. He has a hoist that travels the shop. Hopefully I can use that enough not to kill myself with terrible back pain. I need to be honest with him He is a very nice guy. And he needs my skills more than a strong back.

          • OutOfOrbit

            i’m with you

    • shastakoala

      Congrats!

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU. This is WONDERFUL. ALSO I WISH YOU LIVED IN LA I NEED A TALENTED IRONWORKER to make a wrought-iron railing and banister inside our 1920s storybook house to go with the other wrought-iron railings!!!

      • Suttree

        I would build it here for you, but you don’t want to pay the shipping and install. :)

    • janecita

      I’m so happy for you! Don’t forget to wear your brace, you will be OK:-)

      • OutOfOrbit

        never tell anyone about your medical history

        oops … meant for suttre

        • janecita

          I agree.

        • janecita

          That’s what I thought.

        • (((fka_donnie_d)))

          Why? I mean, I don’t really have a huge amount of grownup work experience, but who cares?

          • OutOfOrbit

            it seems whiny.
            “Never let’em see-yuh sweat & never let’em see-yuh cry.”
            basic (social) survival skill

          • (((fka_donnie_d)))

            *shrug* if it interferes with your work and it’s not your fault, your boss should know about it, no?

          • OutOfOrbit

            let the boss judge for himself from you performance. period

          • (((fka_donnie_d)))

            Not that I want to start a long debate, just fyi – the 2 senior HR people I know strongly disagree.

          • OutOfOrbit

            they would, they’re corp.

          • OutOfOrbit

            example: you have back problems, the boss knows it, you get a work-related back injury that has nothing to do with your existing back problems but this WORK RELATED injury takes you off the job for six weeks, plus medical bills. Get It?

          • (((fka_donnie_d)))

            Not really, I assume doctor is smart enough to determine if it is work related. But, like I said, no point in a long debate.

    • Holly

      Completely, totally, utterly awesome Suttree! AWESOME NEWS! Paul showed me your artistic work and holy smackeral it’s gorgeous! Your new boss is lucky to have you. Molotov and our sincere congratulations.

      • Suttree

        Thanks Holly and Paul!

        • DonaldDGasaway

          Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family!!!
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          >>>http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash690TopRush/GetPay$97/Hour……..

    • (((fka_donnie_d)))

      Congrats dude. Wish I could do heavy manual, but I got at least 2 months before surgery. Fortunately my academic shit is picking up.

      PS – I would also totally love to see your artwork. Post here or let me know how to reach out

      PPS – can you point me to some good entry-level books on ironwork? I am morbidly curious

      • Suttree

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/51e9e7427b8837310df26082401f64a320e347e017f67665291e6fad216aa445.jpg https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bb21ca5132f62c9e364ff151a2815499d32ed6f80e1024d2fd336f2213a628c3.jpg
        I am only my third copy of this book. I keep giving it away to people who like it! Just make sure that it is the second edition. The first edition is fine, but it has very few pictures. These are in color also too. https://www.amazon.com/Decorative-Sculptural-Ironwork-Techniques-Inspiration/dp/0764307908

        • (((fka_donnie_d)))

          Did you ever think about making… motorcycles?

          • Suttree

            I was never a big rider. I had a ’72 Honda Cb550 when I was a teen. I just never got that into it. My little baby cousin got ran over last year and had every bone in her left leg crushed by a car. That threw me off of my latest thoughts about getting a bike. I still want a Vespa though. Unfortunately I don’t live in an actual city. I am in the suburbs.

          • (((fka_donnie_d)))

            Well, making != riding. I only ask because Tuttle, that schmuck from OCC, started as a union steelworker, and I think he sucks. Not that I know all that much about motorcycles (I’m in the early chapters of an engineering design book) but visually I think they’re tacky AF. OTOH this is not exactly a culture known for understatement.

            My thing about all those business “reality” shows is, if that business is doing so great why does he need the money badly enough to let all those guys with cameras get underfoot?

          • Paul

            Screw Tuttle. Here’s a brilliant, self taught bike builder, Billy Lane of Choppers Inc. Check his video on the hubless wheel.

            I am biased, I have a fuckton of his”six gun” parts on my bike.

            https://www.facebook.com/ChoppersInc

          • (((fka_donnie_d)))

            Yea thats fricken cool. What effect do fat wheels like that have on the ride, anyway?

          • Paul

            Dunno. Never rode one with those fat ass tires. Honestly? I think they just are trying to look cool. My mechanic is scornful of them. Maybe trying to imitate drag racing slicks, where the wider tire is actually functional?

          • Suttree

            I hate that fucken show with a passion. They just screw shit together. They don’t really build anything.

          • (((fka_donnie_d)))

            Yes, yes they do.

    • Lambsendbeds

      Holy crap – that’s fantastic ! Congratulations!

    • SadDemInTex

      Wowza!

    • SDGeoff3

      Screeches and choruses of joyful artistic abandon to you!

    • Ilgattomorte

      This is wonderful news and you are a great person for your honesty. It’s a rare commodity these days. If your new boss is smart, he’ll see that. The best of luck, no fuck that, the best of future to you.

    • SeeTrain65
  • RMKH

    I strongly dislike our president because all my favorite places are on fire and it’s happening on his watch. So it must be his fault. Plus he’s a fucking shitheel.

  • Thiazin Red

    How did they let her on a Jesus channel looking like some drunk chick you’d see stumbling around the boardwalk on spring break?

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Because the Jesusers are actually all about exploiting and oppressing women and of course ni[clang]s. That’s what their fetid, misbegotten “religion” is all about. It’s not a religion, it’s a hate cult.

  • Tony Zimmerman

    So you actually DO realize that she is bat-shit nuts. I understand now.

  • Daniel Hooper

    For someone so Christian, she seems to be bearing a lot of false witness…

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    I think I’ve seen this chick drunk and stumbling in every single bar I’ve ever been in.

  • La forza del resistino

    Donald crawls into bed with Pelosi to make debt ceiling/budget deal. Eight hours later, Nancy is still showering.

  • JMP

    I hate Donald Trump because I’m a decent human being; that’s all it takes, in fact if you don’t hate Trump then you are evil.

  • Belasaurius

    what ever happened to not bearing false witness?

    • Rick Hill

      It’s ok if your false witness helps your bottom line. It’s in the buybull!!

      • weejee

        Witless witness, too, also.

    • kaydenpat

      Republicans have never heard of that.

  • Spurning Beer

    I hate Donald Trump because he is detestable. It’s actually about him.

    • Spurning Beer

      Well, that and the checks from Soros.

      • kareemachan

        I still haven’t received A SINGLE CHECK from Soros. I has the sadz.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    I only hate Trump because I have a brain condition that makes me realize how awful he is. Most of his supporters don’t suffer from this malady.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Nor do they suffer from insanity. They kind of enjoy it by now.

  • Edith Prickly

    So how did I come to hate Trump before any of those things happened (because I am that old and Trump has always been an attention-whoring douchebag.) Never mind, I’ll ask the raccoon that lives in my oak tree. He’ll be more coherent.

    • Alan

      Easy. You must be a pedophile.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    Have we heard from Blarney today? He was gonna evac either last night or today, IIRC.

    • The Wanderer

      The people living on the Keys, particularly areas like Key West, Key Biscayne, and Marathon, are bugging the hell out. My local news station showed a video of Key West (maybe south end of the town’s main drag) and the place is deserted.

      • Swampgas_Man

        My Dad and his wife say they’re not bugging out until Saturday and they’re on Merrit Island.

        • bupkus231

          Well, that makes sense. Merrit Island is up nearer to Orlando than the Keys….

  • Moebym of the Returners

    Reasoning with stupid people is like playing chess with a pigeon; you’d be a damn fool to even bother trying, because you walk away incensed, and they swagger away thinking they’ve won.

    And yet I keep trying, because I can’t let this shit go unchallenged.

    Since I can’t watch mindless entertainment like a YouTube gaming video without wanting to argue with every dumbass in the comments, I definitely won’t be able to engage Trump supporters on issues that actually matter.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      I really try not to read my Congresscritters Faceplace comments on immigration because they are filled with derp from the same noisy idiots, many from out of state or out of district. And the idiocy and level of ignorance is appalling.
      “Why didn’t DREAMERS get a green card? They had all this time?” These dummies believe “illegals” can go to the post office or somewhere and fill out a few forms.
      I can’t see arguing with random idiots I don’t even know. They don’t get convinced, and a few of them I’ve dealt with in person even seem to be mentally unhinged.

  • La forza del resistino

    Ms Crokin would be the first to argue that OCare’s mandated mental health coverage is onerous.

  • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

    She’s slurrin’ her words a bit; is she drunk?

  • Phoenixdoglover

    I’m not sure. It could be true. But I have two raccoons inside my head, fighting. Their names are Bruce, and Bruce.

    • The Librarian

      Huh! I have 3: Ed, Edd and Eddy.

      • SpideySenser

        I’m Larry. This is my brother Darryl and this is my other brother Darryl.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Philosophy Dept.?

      • Invisible Bunyip

        I want to know who taught them how to pronounce Wooloomooloo. Four double ‘o’s, and they are all pronounced differently. There had to be an Aussie friend in there somewhere.

  • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist

    ♫ OK fine, fer sure, fer sure…♫
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-LArv-sEQU

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    all of these people have ties to sex trafficking rings, ties to pedophilia, ties to pedophiles

    If that were true, the schools would be empty because everyone would be making child porn…

    …unless THE PORN IS COMING FROM THE SCHOOLHOUSE! RUN AND HIDE!!!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9a4deb9ce9ecc877e4d08b2899229b621dcc930bfa396c94c55ac68d9986f543.jpg

  • Lizzietish81

    Someone’s angling for a new spot in Fox News.

    She’s got blonde hair and everything

    • Reximus

      what’s the everything?

      • Zonath

        Dead eyes and a loose sense of morality?

      • Lizzietish81

        Whether or not the carpet matches teh drapes, they find that out at the interview

        • Reximus

          ouch!

        • Martini Ambassador 🍸

          Ew! Also, too, probably accurate.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          No. She has hair on her head.

          • goingohm

            It’s the brain that gets the Brazilian.

      • kaydenpat

        Lying like a rug.

      • Ricky Gay

        dirty knees?

      • BadKitty904

        Blonde thinking.

    • SpideySenser

      Legs appropriate for a skirt hiked up to her ass on the couch between 2 other idjits?

  • The Librarian

    I’ve been accused of supporting pedos because I’m a liberal. That Putz-a-gate “crime” sure fueled a brand new fire under those Idiots. I was just a crying bleeding heart Satanist before that.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Congrats on the promotion! More Sorosbucks for War-on-Christmas!

      • The Librarian

        Just call me Leader of the Pack.

  • Zonath

    “every single one of those people, you’ll find—because I’ve researched all these scumbags—you will find that all of these people have ties to sex trafficking rings, ties to pedophilia, ties to pedophiles.”

    I know that Trump-haters are all running some sort of shady modelling agency that imports hundreds of “models”, often without the proper immigration paperwork. Hell, some of them may have even “married” these former “models”… All very suspicious.

    • kaydenpat

      Projection.

  • Reximus
  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Now that I’m working a later shift at a grocery in a small town with a large meth-and-opiod problem, I’m running into the kinds of people who suffer from addictions more and more frequently, and I must say that none of them – even the one who literally could not stand still while swiping her credit card – talk this much gibberish.

    • Lizzietish81

      That reminds me, the other day I was coming back from Wegmans, waiting for the bus at the corner when this car stops in front of me at hte red light. Three people inside, they look at me all cagey and shit, I’m just chilling and then I see one of them passing around a tube. at first I thought it was a joint and then I saw one of them bend down, nope, it was cocaine.

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        I thought cocaine went out of fashion by the early ’90’s? Is this a bad revival or what?

        • Msgr_MΩment

          The Musical.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        How quaint. But activities in cars can be hard to figure out. I had a friend who lived in a sketchy neighborhood. He was out walking his dog and saw a guy sitting alone in a parked car. He thought “Why does he have a wig in his lap?” Then “oh….”

        • JMP

          Once, when I was living my parents, there were two cars parked on the street in front of us, and seemed to be movement inside one. At first I was afraid someone might be casing the neighborhood – then someone got out and into the other car, and both took off in different directions. It’s probably safe to assume both people were married.

      • Thiazin Red

        I really wish there was a Wegmans closer to here. People just do not understand about Wegmans.

        • Lizzietish81

          As soon as I left MA they moved in.

          As soon as I left Brooklyn, they opened.

          Luckily they were already here. It’s kind of a pain to get there without a car, but so worth it.

        • Arolpin

          You only say that because you don’t know about Albertson’s. Hell, they stocked Dom Perignon in the wine section in the 80s.

      • Wilbur T

        probably snorting meth.

      • h4rr4r

        Sure they weren’t smoking meth?

    • Crystalclear12

      I think her problem is LACK of medication.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Damn, here the proof for our Twitter bubble:
    https://twitter.com/G_S_Bhogal/status/905487144160038912

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      I assume the connecting bands in the middle are people on the one side retweeting and making fun of tweets from the other side. #OhGodWeAreSoScrewed

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        I think you are right.

        • Major_Major_Major

          Henceforth, is someone is correct, we should refer to it as “being left”. Right and correct are no longer synonymous.

      • Ricky Gay

        No, it’s mostly sinew and cartilage

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        It’s kind of hard to look for nuance, subtly or any common ground in 140 characters. Somebody said it’s like a fight where someone tied both peoples hands and strapped hammers to their heads.

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          Would pay good money to see this on TV between Alex Jones and Steve Bannon. Votes, &c.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Certainly seems to argue for a nature over nurture argument for how people are; binary just seems to be the human default. Hell, it even looks like the sides of the human brain.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        It shows IMHO how disconnected we are. I notice this every time tweet getting like 40 responses in favor and like 2 battling my opinion and those are battled by 40 something tweets.

        • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

          I feel like the disconnect was always there, we just never realized it: conservative and liberal brains quite literally think differently. The diagram of human interconnectiveness, but simultaneous disconnect, seems to be analogous to our relationships with the active and neglected spheres of our brains.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            I hope to disagree. The amount of poison injected in our brain is the problem If we could reach out to each other we would be able to work together a lot more

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        This is very heavily shaped by the way Twitter can target what people see, though.

    • hudson

      what do the shapes mean? obviously projections onto 2D of higher dimensional data but the spread/var of blue seems larger than red. don’t want to read in too much into the import of that.

      paper here.
      https://www.researchgate.net/publication/317947723_Emotion_shapes_the_diffusion_of_moralized_content_in_social_networks

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      I’m seeing a lot more penetration by blue into the red blob….of course, I’m slightly color blind, so – is that true?…

  • kaydenpat

    Is that a tank top she’s wearing? Hurst, how much are you gonna pay me to watch that drivel? Need all the money I can scrape together before a crazy Trump tweet crashes the economy.

  • SigDeFlyinMonky

    Pity the slob, hate the incompetence.

  • Alan

    She’s insane.

    • Bobathonic

      I’m concerned that it’s projection.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    IMPORTANT WATCH NOW
    https://youtu.be/q1CqNLgM5JU

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Thanks, I needed that. God, I love Randy Rainbow.

    • Lizzietish81

      BUT HER EMAILS!!!!

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      “Go back to Queens.”

      NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!11!1!!!!

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        Is there a prison in Queens?

    • Lambsendbeds

      He has a great voice.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Bless her shriveled up little heart of hers.

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    If she loves God so much, why does she shun Him by bleaching her God given haircolor?

  • CripesAmighty

    Ok, that’s it. The end of civilization is upon us. Just saw an ad for the new Stupid Useless Vehicle from…wait for it…Alfa Romeo. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/597bca38a021533b3215d4b406ff7581bd83bbecefccddb91a7e178d76e7fde5.gif

    • BadKitty904

      They’re still in bidness? How?

      • CripesAmighty

        They’ve been selling thoroughbred sporting machinery to the civilized world quite happily for decades. Have just reentered the US in the last few years with very low-volume offerings in partnership with Maserati. But a goober Alfa? It’s just…

    • h4rr4r

      How this not remove any prestige these brands have?

      • CripesAmighty

        Dunno. Porsche is still selling that ridiculous Cayenne by the shipload to the poodle-in-the-lap set as Ferdinand spins in the grave.

        • Arolpin

          The profits from that ridiculous Cayenne is what allows Porsche to make all those insane 911s and Caymans and Boxters and Panameras (which actually looks good with the latest refresh, and it’s coming in a WAGON!).
          There is a reason that Bentley (ugly as Drumpf’s soul), Lamborghini, Maserati, Jaguar, Alfa, RollsRoyce (it’s HUGE) an other luxury makes are coming out with SUVs, they are all insanely profitable. At least until they aren’t. Ferrari is even making one, but they refuse to call it an SUV.

          • CripesAmighty

            As I said: they’re selling em by the boatload–which makes them no less vulgar and absurd (and 911s have become fat pigs for fat pigs with sloppy driving habits).

        • h4rr4r

          If it pays for the production of 911s I guess that is ok.

  • La forza del resistino

    Jeff Sessions is the kinda guy that complains Mexican food restaurant owners didn’t assimilate cuz grits and gravy weren’t on the menu.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      And they make us hit 1 for English!

    • BadKitty904

      Lester Maddox and the Pickrick Cafeteria libel!!1!

  • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

    Here’s a photo of some of the nice people I was working with this week.

    Just in case you can’t make out his T-shirt: that’s trump on a motorcycle with “President Trump” emblazoned on the jacket. On the top it says “Mission Accomplished,” and on the bottom it says “Make America Great Again.” They managed to fit W and 45 on one sad-ass T.

    Endless war, environmental and economic meltdowns, bigotry (covert and overt) and a complete disregard for the rule of law.

    The Derp has been highly refined and weaponized, and conventional containment measures are failing.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f92cb6561920c355eaa527afe209bfa2a7b4f01e5b04b8abf348760c4444206a.jpg

    • BadKitty904

      And the Dems have no organized defense. The GOP propaganda machine completely owns the narrative.

    • Lambsendbeds

      He seems nice…

    • Jenny

      Lol Trump would never acknowledge this guy’s existence.

      • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

        So, so sad, in so many ways.

    • CripesAmighty

      Tempting to once again repost Charlie Pierce’s ‘Hello, Suckers’, column, but fuck it.

      • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

        “This way to the egress!”

  • Swampgas_Man

    Isn’t there some shred of the Libel law that says even a senator can sue someone for calling him a pedo pimp?

    • yyyaz

      Yes. It requires two elements:
      1. The name-caller has to know that the alleged pedo-pimp is, in fact, NOT a pedo-pimp, and;
      2. Publishes a story calling him/her a pedo-pimp with reckless disregard of the fact that he/she is not.
      Lots of legal wiggle room around “knowing” and “reckless disregard,” plus the plaintiff has to meet the burden of proof by clear and convincing evidence.

  • Alexander Stallwitz
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Heading out the door on this hopeful note:

    https://twitter.com/TeaPainUSA/status/905226888448278529

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      May the odds be ever in our favor.

    • altleftjohn

      This is going to be one hell of a big ham sandwich.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        With mayo, mustard, pickles, and covfefe

  • Reximus

    They’re measuring Irma Gerd with gusts @ 200 mph…that will actually rip your face off if you open your mouth

    • kareemachan

      And now there’s Jose and Katia not far behind….

      • Moebym of the Returners

        Katia is forecast to hit Mexico. Jose is expected to swing north, away from landmasses.

        • Jon Sussex

          That’s what Jose wants you to think then he makes a run for the border.

    • BadKitty904

      There’s some chatter of creating a new “Category 6,” just to categorize this storm.

      • Reximus

        I read that Cat 5 is already motherfucker storm to infinity. so they dont need a Cat 6

      • A Groucho Marxist

        I grew up in Florida, so anything under a cat 5 means we might get a good night’s sleep because that guy that blares the Christian rap will be forced indoors, but the fact that a category 6 is even being discussed is actually frightening.

      • La forza del resistino

        Category 6 is already categorized as ‘you’re fucked and really wet’.

        • jowgajen

          Probably not noticing the wet part so much as you are being bodily thrown through the air by the wind.

          • La forza del resistino

            an entrepreneur would take advantage of kite surfing rental opportunities.

          • BadKitty904

            Esp. for those interested in visiting Mexico.

    • La forza del resistino

      RushBo is getting fitted for a 3X life preserver to sit out this Al Gore lib hoax.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      So, I heard they’re considering changing the standards to include Category 6, fondly referred to as Holy Fuuuuuu……….!

  • 3FingerPete

    Update on Dallas removing Robert E. Lee statue: the Sons of Confederate Veterans has filed a TRO stopping the removal of the statue. It claims the city does not have the authority to control political speech on public land. It does have the responsibility to spend taxpayer dollars maintaining it, I guess. That seems a bit one-sided.

    • hudson

      hmm. conundrum.

    • Reximus

      Confederate Statues talk?

      • hudson

        in volumes. their message loud and clear.

        i realize i’m not helping.

    • BadKitty904
    • mackafritz

      When did RE Lee ever get to Texas?

      • 3FingerPete

        Removing the statue is erasing history. How will people learn Bobby Lee never stepped foot in Texas if we have no statue of Mars Robert in Texas?

      • RMKH

        I suspect he passed through Texas on his way to the Mexican War

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      How is the Lee statue political speech? And if the Neo confederates want it, why don’t they buy some land, buy the statue, place it somewhere, and maintain it themselves?

    • jowgajen

      Which correspondence school did they get their law degree from?

      • Bobathonic

        Trump U

    • Manders

      I. Hengh?

      A statute is speech now?

      Who paid for it?

  • Update from ridiculous o’clock this morning: i have found my bus pass! Yay!

    • OutOfOrbit

      where was it?

      • weighmaster

        Last place he looked

        • OutOfOrbit

          he a she

          • weighmaster

            My bad, corrected

        • I lay eggs, i’m a girl dodo

          • CafeenMan

            I’ll bet it’s nice being extinct about now.

          • Oh yes. Very much so. Looks like you’ll be joining me soon

          • CafeenMan

            I wish, but unfortunately I decided to be immortal when I was conceived. I didn’t put enough thought into it and found out that being immortal doesn’t mean being invulnerable.

            I wonder how many hundreds or thousands of years one can go without losing all their limbs. I spend WAY too much time worrying about that.

            I only hope that one day (assuming we don’t bomb ourselves back into the stone age) that medical technology will be able to replace lost limbs, torsos, etc.

          • weighmaster

            I’ve hatched a couple of eggs.

        • CafeenMan

          I think it’s weird that people say they found something the last place they looked. After I find what I’m looking for I keep looking in case I might find it a second or third time. Then I’d have two or three of the item and could lose one or two and not have to look at all!

          Yes, I am a genius… obviously.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            The secret is out. I look for things I that didn’t even lose so that I can get more of them.

          • CafeenMan

            SMRT…. Smrt!

          • weighmaster

            I have looked for my sunglasses which were on my head.

          • weighmaster

            People say that because most of us stop looking once we find it, thus…

      • In my couch. It was in my pocket when i layed down after work yesterday

    • BadKitty904
    • hudson

      i get the pain. first year i was constantly losing items. now i have made it a ritual and it got better. unload pass, wallet, phone, glasses in that order in walking sequence from door to desk. in the mornings, load glasses, wallet, phone and purse in that order in reverse traversal.

      • I meant to last night, but was tired

        • hudson

          again this is all not bullet proof. and modulo all sorts of corner cases.

    • hudson

      I’m not that anal generally speaking (in some cases I’m). so the reason i figured this out is because i was missing trains searching for stuff. after a couple of misses i decided there had to be better way.

  • Anna Rompage

    Okay, bear with me here… So there’s an Applebees in Hasterts home town, as well as Sasse’s home town as well. There’s also a Applebees in Larry Craig’s home town, and in every other town where sexual abuse of underage children has occurred…

    I’m wondering is Applebees is at the heart of a child sexual abuse ring, or if it’s just some strange coincidence…

    • jesterpunk

      Are the applebees basements connected?

      • Nah, that’s Wal-Mart

        • jesterpunk

          Wait i thought Walmart basements where for Shakira gay marriage as part of UN agenda 21 and Jade Helm to takes everyone guns?

          • They were. Jade Helm sold them to the Pedo rings

          • jesterpunk

            But do they still keep Shakira law?

          • Hips don’t lie

          • CafeenMan

            Turns out there are more Walmarts than Jade Helm participants so they found other uses for excess Walmart basements.

      • OutOfOrbit

        basements connected to Comets water pipes

    • Suttree

      People who are evil enough to keep an Applebees in business, are obviously devoid of morals.

    • Marion in Savannah

      There used to be one near here, but it closed (thank gawd). However, there are 3 Applebee’s way out in the boonies — I guess that’s where all the kids are?

      • Rick Hill

        Or maybe they put them in places where children having sex is a normal thing.

    • Moebym of the Returners

      *gasp* there’s an Applebee’s in my town! And pretty much every town I’ve ever lived in.

      • CafeenMan

        There are a couple in mine but there’s nobody here under age 45. When I moved here I was the youngest guy in town – 42 – almost a teenager. A toddler by this place’ standards.

      • redarmyzombie

        WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!1!

    • BadKitty904

      That would certainly explain their “food”.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Red Robin libel?

      • h4rr4r

        How a burger restaurant that won’t serve them rare or even medium rare manages to stay open, I will never understand.

        • therblig

          they don’t even serve robins there, only burgers.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      OMG our waiter was wearing many pieces of flair. Is that code???

      • CafeenMan

        If you were wearing the secret glasses you would have known what their message was.

      • Anna Rompage

        That, or maybe it was ex-sheriff David Clarke in disguise…

    • Rick Hill

      It might be but it would only possible to find out it’s true is if the owner of Applebee’s is a librul. Otherwise it’s just a false flag.

    • Lizzietish81
      • therblig

        great tune, great album.

  • TundraGrifter

    This is for anybody who says Ms. Conkin isn’t a well qualified journalist (from the Townhall website):

    “Her experience landed her an internship working for Bill O’Reilly at Fox News Channel and then to Washington DC where she interned for the State Department’s White House Correspondent which planted her in the White House daily.”

    You are absolutely correct! And somebody over there can’t write for shit. I’ll bet she got planted in the White House daily.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      She served under O’Reilly?

    • weejee

      Well if she interned with Oh’Really she knows how to f*ck it, and do it live.

    • RMKH

      Planted with votes

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Well, I’ve met ferns that were smarter than her so “planted” may be the right word.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Like a plant, you know, covered in seed?

  • Rick Hill

    Not sure if anyone amembers, a few months ago I was asking about groundhogs, if they were musky because Jack dawg Hill was stinky, as well as removing said hog. Well, it turns out that, perhaps groundhogs are musky but apparently I not only have a groundhog in the backyard but a skunk living under my back stairs to the kitchen. I tried gassing the pig but it seems he has an escape entrance located under my shed that I can’t get to. So, it’s live trap time for him. But….
    …the skunk. I have to do something, SOMETHING!!!11!! about him. Any ezzperiences?(I’ve learned my lesson about asking any Wonktonians if they’ve had assperiences…)

    • jowgajen

      I would consider leaving it be. The dog has hopefully figured out it’s not to be messed with.

      • Rick Hill

        Well, we’re mostly close enough to be city and it just ain’t right. If I wanted t live with varmints I’d have gone all communey and started my own sect somewhere in the woods where all the wimmin folk could run around partial clothed

        • jowgajen

          Fair enough. If it’s living under your stairs, I’d work to close the area up so it can’t get back in there/doesn’t feel safe there. Chicken wire, boards, etc. Under the shed would be a bag of cement I would presume. This is the best way for most unwanted critters, including urban friends like rats, possums, raccoons, stray cats, etc.

        • CafeenMan

          Weird I know, but I don’t mind skunk smell. But I’ve never been directly sprayed. I did get sprayed by a snake once and it smelled like skunk. That was one night at work.

          When I went back inside everyone was like, “Ewww! What’s that smell???”

          ‘Me. It’s me.’ :)

        • Suttree

          I basically live in the NYC Metropolitan area and we get critters here. I do live on top of the hill though. It’s mostly 6-8 point bucks that like wandering in front of this 6 story building in the morning.

          • Rick Hill

            Yeah, I know they come around but I’d rather just have to deal with the feral cats and the occasional drunk that we have than with actual wildlife.

          • Suttree

            Ok. Take away any food source that is drawing them to you. Cat food/dog food/crazed weasel food. There is a reason they are chilling at your place. Take it away.

          • Rick Hill

            No food that I put out. Our garden is handy to them and something ate every last peach off our tree in a day or two. Even the ones I wrapped a net around. Never seemed to be a problem before. Another peach in the same place, we would get a harvest of around two hundred, not counting the ones that the birds got or that fell.

          • jowgajen

            Skunks eat bugs and whatnot, they don’t mess with your garden. The squirrels ate the peaches. Or the rats.

          • therblig

            who took the handles?

          • Suttree
          • therblig

            been smelling them in our neighborhood lately, saw one closer to the hudson. we get the occasional raccoon and possum. and, of course, what we call the “urban whiptailed bunny”.

          • Arolpin

            I finally realized that my wife was confusing skunk smell with me partaking in the house (not allowed with kids). Granted, she could just randomly accuse me, and as long as it’s after about 10pm, she would probably be right, but about a month ago she called me on the cell (I was in the room directly below her) and started ranting. I walked upstairs to see what she was so upset about, and then realized that she smelled a skunk outside and thought I just smoked a bowl in the house. At that point she admitted that maybe, just possibly, she was mistaken. And I’m going to ride this pony until the kids are off to college!
            There are quite a few skunks in the leafy parts of Essex County, along with deer, raccoons, and fucking possums, but the turkey vultures I saw eating bugs out of a lawn this week were actually cool enough that I stopped the car to go look at them.

          • jowgajen

            I live in LA and we have several cats, a possum, a raccoon and quite a few birds some native, some exotic. When the raccoon runs across the roof it drives my kitties nuts!

          • Suttree

            /ffs! I was going into Paterson this morning and there were about 6 turkey vultures chomping out of a KFC dumpster. In a densely populated town.

          • jowgajen

            That’s not creepy. OK, super fucking creepy.

          • Suttree

            Hehe! They were happy campers though!

          • therblig

            chicken or mob hit?

    • Suttree

      An apartment that I used to live in Vermont had a skunk problem. They just did live trap with peanut butter. . Call local animal control if you catch one. Or call local animal control now and get their tips on what to do.

      • Rick Hill

        I was just concerned about what to do AFTER it was caught. i don’t relish the thought of my truck stinking for a couple of months

        • Suttree

          Of course! That’s why I am saying call animal control now. Ya know, before you trap it. Are you in the city or the country Rick?

          • Rick Hill

            Close enough to the city. Getting in touch with the county animal control is rough, they never answer the phone, as I found out when Jack dawg went adventuring.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      I lived in an old house with raised foundation where skunks and other critters would sometimes move in. In his salad days, Elderly Senile Cat would patrol and come in with a face covered in cobwebs.
      If you have the bucks, best way is to get a pest control company to humanely trap and get rid of whatever critters (there may be more than one) and then block off ALL the ways off to your foundation with hardware cloth. A mouse can get in a hole the size of a dime.
      If you don’t have the bucks (and who does these days) you may be able to borrow the traps from local Animal Control and diy.

    • Panika MCD

      I second just leaving it be. you don’t fuck with them and they won’t fuck with you. besides, they’re fucking adorable and won’t judge you for not wearing pants as they don’t wear pants either. learn to appreciate what you’ve got.

      • Suttree
        • Serai 1

          They are exceedingly cute.

          • Suttree

            They are just little stinky racoon kitties!

      • Serai 1

        Yep. Flower uses my basement as a stop on his neighborhood rounds, and I always know when he’s in town. I just close the windows on that side of the house until he moves on. I’ve seen him once or twice, but not approached. It’s just nice to know he comes through.

  • CafeenMan

    The only person I’ve heard of in this entire discussion is Hassert. But yeah, what she said is exactly what I’ve been thinking almost non-stop for years I think maybe but she’ll have to explain it again because I’m lost.

    • BadKitty904

      Or she could just start foaming at the mouth and fall over backwards. Same thing, really.

      • CafeenMan

        So… lunch, right?

  • Watching Bake Off week 2 (biscuit week). Techical challenge is fucking fortune cookies. Paul is evil

    • Marion in Savannah

      Yes he is.

    • BadKitty904
      • Signature bake was sandwich biscuits. I wanted to eat several of them from my computer screen

      • Paul

        I LOVE biscuits!! Never had a decent one till Holly made them. She’s a true southern belle and goddamn are they good. You should talk to her.

        Maybe she’ll regale you with tales of misadventure using a new oven and living in the Appalachians here in western Mass. She finally figured it out though. My oven is about 25 degrees hotter than the dial says and we live at an altitude of 2,000 feet. Apparently those things matter.

        She is also addicted to King Arthur Flour’s website.It’s a worker owned company in Vermont, whose products are available all over the place but somehow Holly never heard of them (till she sent me to the store and I bought the local favorite) Lots of tips/ideas/recipes from which I benefit bigly. Especially their biscuit recipe.

        http://www.kingarthurflour.com

    • Amelia Resists and Persists

      I want to watch the new ones so badly. Damned living in America!

      • I have endeavoured to acquire in a totally legal way. It was a lot of effort

        • Amelia Resists and Persists

          I watched the other seasons on YouTube but I guess Channel 4 is better at shutting that down? Idk they never care about taking down big fat quiz or 8 out of 10 cats so maybe no one’s posting them.

          • I saw ep one last weekend on youtube. This one was downloaded. I love Noel (but i have for sometime)

          • Amelia Resists and Persists

            Noel is amazing and so is Sandy.

          • She is. Have enjoyed her QI take over immensely. The Randi Scandi is delightful

          • Amelia Resists and Persists

            Yes QI! I will always miss Stephen but I’m cool with the takeover because it’s her.

          • I love QI. It’s a fantastic hole to fall into and not notice until 7 hours later

          • Amelia Resists and Persists

            I found ep 1 on Dailymotion and ep 2 on YouTube. Hallelujah for the internet and persistence.

          • Woohoo! I just finished….bread week is next week!

    • spangled

      How are the new judges/hosts? I loved Mary berry and Sue and Mel. No offense to Paul, but he was by far the least compelling of the lot.

      • I liked the hosts from other things. Sandy took over my favourite panel show this year as well, and Noel is such a loveable weirdo

    • Paul

      You been talkin’ to Holly? I may be over the top saying outrageous shit sometimes but I don’t think I’ve hit “Evil” quite yet.

      Nevertheless I shall persist.

  • Jennifer R

    That is pretty goddamn stupid.

    • BadKitty904

      For starters.

  • BadKitty904
  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Some law students were in court today and got a chance to talk to a Senior (aka retired) District Judge who was presiding over one of my cases. He happens to be one of the gruffest, sharpest-tongued people I’ve ever met, but a really good guy. They were talking about the state Supreme Court when he says:

    “I do not understand why people are so impressed by that. Every lawyer in this room has argued in front of those guys. I wouldn’t be too proud of it. Two kinds of lawyers end up [before the SC]: those who are wrong about the law but aren’t smart enough to quit and those who are right about the law but aren’t smart enough to explain why.”

    • BadKitty904

      You just made the Big Cat (a lawyer) choke on his iced tea…

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      nice…oh how I wish I had gone to law school.
      : (

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        There’s still time. My wife’s new-ish assistant is currently finishing up his BA and plans to go to law school. He’s 42.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      As a former bureaucrat, though not attorney, I had to explain this endlessly to developers and the public- ” an appeal won’t have merit just because you don’t like the decision. You have to show a board or commission acted improperly or didn’t consider the evidence” ( In more than a few cases, it wouldn’t have been hard to show btw)

  • HooverVilles

    The derp. It is strong with, um…., ummm,
    AOT, K.

  • Mormos

    why am i reading this story?

    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      Because, America.

    • I skimmed it, because i like Evan’s style, but I am just here to not comment

    • BadKitty904

      You read these stories?

    • Covfefe

      You are reading this story because you have a process addiction. You have developed a craving for Wonkette that has taken over your life. Seek professional health.

      • Mormos

        more true than you know. I’ve been on this damn site for ten years. I remember when doc was a commenter and wonkette was owned by anna.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Has there ever been a ridiculous, overwrought, unmitigated bullshit conspiracy theory that Geraldo HASN’T latched on to?

  • Jennifer R

    Fun fact!
    In my experience the kinkiest people (besides me) seem to be ex mormons.

    • Rebellion!

      • Jennifer R

        Yeah, I am excited about getting to meet them.

    • BadKitty904

      Meet some ex-Catholics. Just sayin’…

      • Jennifer R

        Got any stories?

        • BadKitty904

          Yes.

          • Jennifer R

            Do you enjoy being this much of a tease?

          • BadKitty904

            As a semi-ex-Catholic myownself, I prefer to think of it as being “discreet”.

          • Jennifer R

            Lotta words to say yes.

          • BadKitty904

            Yes. ;0)

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Well, there’s my new pickup line. “Hi, I’m Nauvoo Coffeedrinker.”

      • RMKH

        Go Wild Bear!

      • Jennifer R

        Haha well being honest on twitter about your kinks is how you actually find people. Just FYI.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Omaha??? As in Omaha, Nebraska??? Has Crokin ever been to Omaha??? I have. No chance, lady. The city shuts down at 9:30 pm. If there are pimps and hookers in Omaha, and I’m sure there are, they are not going to retire in luxury on their earnings. Des Moines has more illegal sex than Omaha.

    • RMKH

      But I’ll bet Omaha is big on pizza parlors.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Des Moines has better pizza, too.

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          Scornovacca’s FTW!!1!

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Felix and Oscars FTW!!1!

      • RMKH

        I wasn’t talking about good pizza parlors. Killary pizza parlors.

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          “Cows” iz code for EVEN YOUNGER cheese pizza.

    • Sioux City libels!

      • yyyaz

        I donut think it is within human ability to libel Sioux City.

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          Maybe by comparing it to Wausau?

        • Having been born there I feel qualified.

    • RobKanC

      I flew over Omaha on my way to Los Angeles. Does that count?

      • Angela Ruzzo

        In my opinion, that is the best way to visit Omaha.

    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      Grand Forks is upset that you haven’t paid attention to seedy quarters..

    • janecita

      Is that where those pricey steaks are from?

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I don’t know. When I lived in Des Moines I was a poor college student, steaks were not in my budget.

    • therblig

      when i worked for at&t (80’s), one of the consultants i worked with said that the best french restaurant in america was in omaha. he said a lot of things.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Could very well be true. I’ve eaten Chinese in New York City’s Chinatown, and San Francisco’s Chinatown, and in Chicago, and I’ve had some very fine Chinese food in those cities, but the best Chinese restaurant I’ve ever eaten at is Trey Yuen, in Hammond, Louisiana, population 20,000.

  • NotDarkYet

    Brain bleach is needed here: http://digg.com/video/cuddly-cow

  • Doug Langley

    With global warming, how soon before our weather gets this bad?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OCl0yaBWjQ

    • Mormos

      about 3 years…

    • RMKH

      Think we’re almost there

    • Shanzgood

      That shit is nothing compared to hot flashes.

    • BadKitty904

      Well, it’s September now…

  • persistently_resistant_gayby

    Okay – day 4 out of 5 for campaigning. We seem to be progressing well despite the odds against us. Even though, the other ticket has more campaigners (coincidentally, they’re named More!) – we’ve managed to get more people over the line (and therefore onto the polling booth), which is really good.

    Anyhow – one SOMG for the day (I posted yesterday, but rehashing it because its appropriate)

    https://g.co/kgs/KnZW4m

    • RobKanC

      What election is this?

      • persistently_resistant_gayby

        Me university’s Student Elections.

        • RobKanC

          Well. .Good luck with that.. Hope you guys win..

        • janecita

          Good luck!

    • Keep up the good work!

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
  • Covfefe

    Being dedicated to both-sides-doitism, can anyone find me a left-leaning fantasy peddler half as nutty as this lady, or, for that matter, any of the right wing nut cases? Why do we have such a nut case deficit?

    • Panika MCD

      Jill Stein is available.

      • janecita

        I think that harpy is just an idiot.

        • Panika MCD

          which makes her a perfect match for the idiot harpy in the article.

        • CripesAmighty

          The downside of the internetz. Back in my day, she’d just be that annoying crank lady at our local Green Party meetings.

      • RMKH

        Of course she’s available. Who would hook up with her?

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          Vlad!!

    • Mormos

      depends, how much will you pay me?

    • RMKH

      We keep to ourselves, muttering unintelligibly (but not unintelligently) as we lurch down the sidewalk. Because we’re left wing-nuts, we haven’t figured out how to monetize the crazy.

      • Mormos

        monetization is the indoctrination tool of the capitalist patrician class!

        still waiting on that salary offer Covfefe… any time now…

    • Doug Langley

      Didn’t Hillary once write a book on the subject: It Takes a Village Idiot?

      • Panika MCD

        It Takes a Village, Stupid

    • Shanzgood

      Facts have a liberal bias.

    • spangled

      Louise mensch maybe? But she’s a conservative pretending to be a leftist.

      Idk some of the far left folks are also all in on the Seth rich bullshit, but they are very happy to tell you that they’re “not democrats”. The mainstream GOP have been flirting way more with their conspiracy-minded dummies then Dems.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      HA HA GOODMAN?

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      9/11 Truthers, maybe the anti-establishment lefties.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      A few Bernie Bros posting here have come close.

  • Panika MCD

    I was going to take pictures of how pretty the APA! warehouse is after slaving for 2 days to help organize it….but….shit! they posted a photo this morning of the front of the medical clinic and were all, “now that we have a warehouse to store all your nice donations that you already gave us, we can see the grass again!” and dogooderer types were all, “we mustn’t leave that grass uncovered! have all this bizarre shit from our garages!” we love you all, but the warehouse is supposed to be temporary! save some donations for those who will soon be affected by Irma or send us $$$.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      You have overachieving (and somewhat dim) dogooderers?

      • Panika MCD

        yes. I suggested the nice couple from Florida rent a UHaul to take some stuff with them, but they are overachieving in the right ways so they will instead be dropping off a bunch of stuff that we have and Bay City is ready to have instead.

  • Doug Langley

    So. Which is more terrifying: my boring, stressful job, or no job at all? Answer today. Wasn’t sure exactly when my contract ends, thought this was the last week. Checked with manager, she had submitted for end of September, if not October. Just too much work to do. I was surprised how happy that made me. Guess running out of money is more dreadful than driving 40 miles to a monotonous routine under a boss who could stress a monk.

    • BadKitty904

      Well, congrats? Sort’ve?

      • Doug Langley

        Yeah, sort’ve.

        • BadKitty904

          Maybe ear-plugs would help?

          • Doug Langley

            Hmm . . . the newest temp there spends his time with earplugs and his phone. Today had to get his attention for the quickie meeting. Stood 10 feet away and almost shouted his name and he still didn’t hear me. Maybe he has something there.

          • BadKitty904

            *koff* Self-defense… *koff*

    • hudson

      people don’t realize how stressful uncertainty is. and people don’t realize how much stress takes out from you. there is good stress and then there is bad stress. this is bad stress.

      • Doug Langley

        Very true. Uncertainty, like what the fuck’s going to be my next job, is nasty.

    • Holly

      Damn Doug (((hugs))) hang in there.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Damn, boy … you’ve more perseverance than I can muster these days. So, to provide some amusement I give you this … so you can savor your last day (whenever that is)

      https://youtu.be/EzGoDtmTllg

  • Holly

    Excuse me for saying but this twat looks like pure trash from down yonder. On second thought don’t excuse me she is trash from down yonder.

    • Marion in Savannah

      She does have that aura that screams “single-wide.”

      • BadKitty904

        She has a full set of Welch’s jelly jars in a cabinet at home. And drinks out of them.

        • The Wanderer

          Um, okay. I used to use those as a child. I think I may have a few in storage.

          • Holly

            I’ll fess up and tell you I have dried beef glasses in the cabinet. They do make excellent juice glasses. I call myself a repurposer (is that even a word?)

          • BadKitty904

            We did, too. It aggravated Mama, but we insisted on keeping the cartoon ‘uns.

        • Serai 1

          LOL, so do some hipsters!

        • Lord Jim

          But does she have a pair of ViseGrips for a hot water faucet handle?

          • BadKitty904

            And an old tire in the front yard as a planter.

          • therblig

            repurposed toilet or gtfo!

        • LucindathePook

          Bonne Maman jelly jars make excellent tumblers for all drinks. Ten sides.

          • BadKitty904

            I hadn’t thought of that. And we eat that brand ourownselves, as it does include high fructose corn syrup…

        • therblig

          i think my mom has our set of flintstones welch’s jars somewhere in her house. pretty sure that the lead paint is only on the outside though.

          • BadKitty904

            See?

      • CripesAmighty

        So who is this? The Public-Access Preacher Megyn Kelly?

      • Holly

        IKR?

      • therblig

        Just gonna put this out there, but ms. blig grew up in a single wide. she and her family are (were) some of the finest, most loyal, patriotic democrats i’ve ever met in my life.

        i’ll admit, that as a suburban nj asshole, i was shocked the first time i saw it. but i got better.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • mackafritz

      That sure would make me feel better.

    • Rick Hill

      “So much better that I get up here and make jokes about people drowning and losing everything they own instead of just losing their crops like you folks have.”

      • therblig

        “Funny thing about cows. Not many people know this, but whether they drown or starve, they still end up bloated. Very, bigly, bloated. bloat. cows.” – DJT

    • Rick Hill

      Pivoting!

    • biologydave

      Such an articulate empath.

      • Rick Hill

        But he really cares!…if he gets a laugh and a great round of applause….

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Have his speechwriters just given up and quit going to AA meetings altogether?…

      • Rick Hill

        They’re all sitting around, sniffing white out.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          And we thought all those pails and pails of it were just government waste!…

        • Marion in Savannah

          And Sharpies. And rubber cement. And model glue.

          • The Wanderer

            Mimeograph liquid.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i listened to a bit of it today – I guarantee you they groan and face palm when he goes off on tangents.
        I used to do it when my anchors and reporters went off the carefully constructed, perfectly timed scripts we wrote.

      • therblig

        “Hello, my name is Bob and i’m a trump speechwriter”

        “GET THE FUCK OUT, BOB!!!!!!”

    • hudson

      seriously? his understanding of TX is that it is opposite of drought? seriously? and this guy is the POTUS?

      • BadKitty904

        Thanks, GOP!

      • biologydave

        Yeah….and it really sux

      • Panika MCD

        I think we might still have a few counties kicking about that are still in drought conditions….

        • hudson

          c’mon c’mon. TX is large & organic and i can understand that everything and it’s opposite is true in such a state.

          But we can all agree that a flooded and saturated urban blob is not the opposite of a parched agri blob.

          • Panika MCD

            hey, we had agri areas that flooded also too!

    • jesterpunk
    • Panika MCD

      of course he doesn’t know that droughts can exacerbate flash flooding–of course he doesn’t.

    • Serai 1

      I want to die. I WANT TO FUCKING DIE.

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      Presidential.

    • CO

      He went twice. Does he want a medal for that?

      • therblig

        he went TWICE!!11!!

  • Shibusa
    • BadKitty904

      Because I’m a spinless, BALDING fuckwit.

      • Lord Jim

        Hydrate!

    • biologydave

      Thoughts and prayers in 140 characters

  • OrG

    I KNEW there had to be some reason I hated tRump. Thanks church lady.

    • hudson

      some reason? you mean you found some redeeming reasons to tolerate him? if yes, please share. i’m not able to deal with this incessant daily assault on reason. cannot empathize with his position or actions.

      • OrG

        Was my sarcasm too subtle?

        • Master Contrail Program

          Foward slash “/s” snark symbol to be mandated on all keyboards by 2020.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • eastcoastlib

    That shit right there is libelous. Sasse should sue her worthless god humping ass

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      All she’s got is her single-wide….

      • OrG

        Take it!

    • Serai 1

      It’s slander rather than libel. If she’d written it, it would be libel.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Newsflash: Everybody hates Trump. That’s why Republicans voted for him, because he’s a hateful SOB. They all hate one another anyway, so it’s no big. They hate liberals worse and figure Trump will torture them.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    I knew it:

    “(CNN)President Donald Trump has a longtime habit in high-profile meetings that’s no “Art of the Deal” secret: a casual drop-by from daughter Ivanka Trump.

    Take Wednesday’s meeting with congressional leaders: Ivanka Trump, who also serves as a White House adviser, “entered the Oval Office to ‘say hello’ and the meeting careened off-topic,” a congressional source briefed on the meeting told CNN’s Deirdre Walsh.

    Some Republican leaders were “visibly annoyed by Ivanka’s presence,” the source said.

    But House Speaker Paul Ryan spokeswoman AshLee Strong refuted that characterization, saying, “That’s not true.””

    Marc Short, White House director of legislative affairs, confirmed the purpose of Ivanka Trump’s visit.

    “We asked Ivanka to briefly join the meeting for an update on the child care tax credit and how we are working to make tax reform a bipartisan issue,” he said. “It was a quick and productive conversation.”

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      The first daughter told CNN’s Gloria Borger in July 2016 during the Republican National Convention that she used to call the Trump Organization collect during her private school days at the Chapin School in New York City.

      Hiding in a janitor’s closet during recess, she would dial her dad, who would put her on speakerphone with whomever happened to be in his office.

      “It was colleagues, it was titans of industry, it was heads of countries. He’d always tell everyone in the room how great a daughter I was and say cute things and ask me about a test I took,” Trump had told Borger.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        It’s complicated for staff because they know that, in the end, the family has the greatest influence over Trump and so what they say can be overruled as soon as they leave the room. They don’t feel like they can be as honest when a family member is in the room,” said Kate Andersen Brower, a CNN contributor and author of “First Women: The Grace & Power of America’s Modern First Ladies.”

      • Marion in Savannah

        Collect from Chapin? What — the bitch didn’t have a dime for the phone?

      • therblig

        at least she didn’t have to watch the circle jerk as she spoke.

      • grindstone

        Jesus, don’t make me feel sorry for Tiffany…

    • BadKitty904

      I would simply stop speaking until she left.

    • Jenny

      Come in and show them those titties I bought you, girl. Go on now. Go on. – Classy Dad Trump

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    More Ivanka ugh:

    “Ivanka Trump also joined her father Wednesday afternoon in North Dakota, where he gave a tax reform speech.

    In the middle of his remarks, the President brought her onstage.

    “By the way, Ivanka Trump? Everybody loves Ivanka Trump,” he said. “Come on, should I bring Ivanka up?

    He added that his daughter had asked to join him on the trip.

    ” ‘Daddy, Can I come with you?’ ” the President said his daughter asked him. “I said, ‘yes you can.’ “”

    • Marion in Savannah

      It is to barf.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        If Trump had ever though to market a line of emetics, he might actually have had some real business success.

        • WotsAllThisThen

          Make America Gag Again

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Well, she does have the bag of cocaine…

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea
      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        IKR?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Everybody loves her. His afternoon flattery file says so.

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        I think we should call it the fluffer file.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      I must admit, the thought of Ivanka Trump trying to find a place to shop in Grand Forks or Fargo, or going for lunch at the “Ground Round,” does bring a little smile to my face.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        lol, we don’t have those here, but I am picturing the Golden Corral at the moment.

        • Bub, the cynical zombie

          That would work. Maybe Red Lobster, after…well, we won’t be getting into Beyoncé lyrics.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Malia and Sasha are barfing into their backpacks …

    • Shanzgood

      No wonder Melania wanted to stay in Trump Tower instead of moving to the WH. That and her (alleged) side piece.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      We’re paying to fly her around not because her presence is necessary, but rather just because she wants to go somewhere. Sounds like a perfectly normal government expenditure.

      • Shanzgood

        And the wingnuts bitched about the cost of Michelle’s mom living with them.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          You don’t hear much about presidential vacations these days, do you?

      • SayItWithWookies

        Hey, at least they took the same plane this time — it shows they’re economizing. Um — they did take the same plane, right?

      • Covfefe

        Somebody at the Failng New York Times disrespected Ivanka today. Said she more of a logo than a person.

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      Doesn’t she have children or sammiches to make?

    • therblig

      unfortunately, he’s usually finished too soon for that.

    • teele

      Ivanka TRUMP??? Is she one of them uppity feminazis what didn’t take her husband’s last name? Lawzy!

  • BadKitty904

    Can geckos sense approaching danger? I’ve chased three of the little buggers out of the house today…

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      They sense a safe environment away from the trümpanistas?

    • mackafritz

      Maybe trying to sell you insurance.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Get a room, you two….

    • The Wanderer

      They’re running from frogs.

      • Master Contrail Program

        They’re probably easier to shoo away than cavemen on the lanai.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      There are 4 or 5 geckos on my screen door every night, catching little moths. It’s like television for Molly….she sits there and stares at them with her ears up for hours.

    • Master Contrail Program

      Nah, it’s just sexxxy lizard season. They’ve been everywhere around these parts for a few weeks too. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/498bcb7cdc293b525d137f04e323ddc514e76e35ac220533743fe72c3b60bc34.jpg

    • hudson

      you never know. we are prolly conditioned to miss out on fundamental signals, so preoccupied we are in our own problems. perhaps unencumbered brains can process signals better. entirely possible.

      • BadKitty904

        I’d just prefer that they didn’t use our living room as “high ground” in fleeing from the on-coming Irma…

        • hudson

          why ma? good sign no?

          • BadKitty904

            Because I have enough to do keeping the tree frogs out of he house. And because our cats will eat them, then vomit.

          • hudson

            sorry. had to lol.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            It’s not easy being green…

          • BadKitty904

            Not in our house it’s not.

      • Doug Langley

        It’s truly a marvel of nature how sensitive they are to air raid sirens.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      seeking shelter from the approaching storm? Could be.

      • H0mer0

        how could he chase them away?

        • BadKitty904

          I’m pretty heartless when it comes to wildlife in the house. Florida has a LOT of wildlife. They should live out in the wild. It’s in their name and everything.

          • TJ Barke

            Well y’all keep encroaching on it.

          • BadKitty904

            Hey, we’ve been right where we are for almost 500 years. It’s the Yankees who keep moving Down Here that are encroaching on it.

          • TJ Barke

            Mmhmmm…

          • H0mer0

            I can’t stay mad at you (I have mixed feelings about my ginger tabby killing mice that try to creep into the house. They are really cute but I don’t like their pissing and pooping in my house and eating my chocolate.)

          • BadKitty904

            I don’t kill them, I catch them and toss their little butts back outside. I mean them no harm, I just don’t want them in the house. Having a cat drop a freshly killed lizard on your head at 3AM is no fun.

    • TJ Barke

      I’d imagine they can probably sense the changing barometric pressure.

      • BadKitty904

        Unless they just wanna cool off in the AC and catch some NetFlix.

  • BearDeLaOursistance

    “Gay Pimp”, you say? Don’t MAKE me post that “Soccer Practice” video…

  • Johnatx

    Let’s see. Lots of wildfires, massive amounts of rain, gargantuan hurricane. Asteroid just missed us. North Korea. Trump. Have the solar flares started? Maybe the Mayans were right. Just a couple of years off.

    • gallbladder

      Willow Palin becoming president will seal the deal.

    • Panika MCD

      solar flares are an ongoing phenomenon, but there are times when more are thrown off.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Actually, yes. The sun just did an X9.33 solar flare. Strongest in twelve years.

      See this.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Well, for the Mayans, it was more of an art than a science….

    • President in Exile Firefly

      Massive solar flare just hit us and is disrupting shortwave radio comms. Some places are experiencing a total skywave blackout. G3 class geomagnetic storm.
      http://spaceweather.com/

  • Holly

    My Darling Wonks – Here – Because I love you all. Paul I love you the mostest.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NU9JoFKlaZ0

  • Serai 1

    I’m tired of the crazy. Can we turn it off now?

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    uh, good?

    “Trump says military action is not his ‘first choice’ on North Korea”

    Nope, swiftly delved into stupid:

    “”We’ll see what happens. We’ll see what happens,” Trump said when asked if he was still considering military action. “Certainly that’s not a first choice, but we’ll see what happens.””

    Keeping the DACA kids and their friends on families on edge, keeping those of us who could use the ACA on edge, keeping those of us afraid of nuclear armaggedon on edge…are we sure he’s not a plant? Does he have stuck in blood pressure and anti-anxiety meds?

    Or booze futures.

    • BadKitty904

      As if he knows what his “first choice” would be. Or second. Or third.

      • gallbladder

        We’ll see what happens.

        • BadKitty904

          Whatevs.

    • hudson

      the issue he has no skin in the game. nobody in the zip codes he knows has those problems. he thinks these problems don’t exist.

    • Doug Langley

      I’m getting a bit tired of his constantly acting like he’s on a TV show: “Tune in next week for the exciting conclusion!!”

      • Paul

        Aw shit. I shoulda’ read down.

      • CripesAmighty

        Problem is, it’s a fucking soap opera. There is no conclusion–the plot just becomes more and more outrageous and absurd.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      I suspect his real estate dealings involved a lot of brinksmanship, with him blowing hot and cold on potential deals, always trying to keep people off balance in the hopes of getting them to come down in price or give him better terms. It may have worked sometimes – although I strongly suspect it seldom worked as well as he thought it did – but I think he’s going to find that kind of childishly obvious gamesmanship is not going to fly with people who actually do this shit for a living.

    • Paul

      He wants us all to “stay tuned” because that’s all this piece of shit cares about. Ratings. How many eyes on the screen? It’s how he measures his self worth. Being president is no different than being a TV “star”. All the same to him.

      For the rest of us, not so much.

      ETA: congrats on the job Tex. Pay attention and pick brains. You’ll do fine.

  • Serai 1

    Had a lovely lunch with The Librarian today, and we am been saying how us L.A. Wonketeers should get together sometime soon. I think this is an excellent ideation structure, myself.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Sounds about right.

    • hudson

      isn’t that true for most things around?

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    All the Dairy Queens in the ’80’s were busy bitch fighting over who has the best hair because Queens.

  • pgjack

    Who could possibly be so idiotic was to believe such bullshit?

    • BadKitty904

      Republicans.

    • hudson

      i like your call your to ideal.

    • Liquid Tomato

      Dittoheads and their descendants.

  • CO
    • BadKitty904

      Just sayin’.

    • rosenbomb

      As long as all of the employees are safe, I’m fine with this.

      • jesterpunk

        Its closed until around Halloween when Trump’s skin matches the decorations.

      • Was just hearing his employees are far away from there…they were kicked out with the ending of DACA

    • hudson

      but you know he will milk it. what i do hope is, if there has to be destruction, somehow that property is left out so that he cannot milk it. if it is possible may it be so that only the access roads and the airports to it be completely ravaged.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I can’t help feeling for the Haitians. Their ancestors never asked to be brought they, yet they are trapped in an endless cycle of poverty and despair. Here comes Irma to give them some more.

  • Arolpin

    I hate Drumpf because he is an asshole, a butthole, a cunt, a dickbag, an enema, a fuckstick, greedy, horrible, incompetent, a jackass, a kleptomania, an obscenity, a pussy-grabber, a Republican, a shyster, a terrible person, ugly, vicious, wasteful, a xenophobe, a yo-yo, and a zero. That’s a start.

    • hudson

      do go on.

    • Suttree

      You missed an incestual fuckwad.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      But how do you really feel?

      And agreed.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      You missed liar, malcontent and nincompoop.

    • therblig

      arrogant asshole, belligerent butthole, craven cunt, douchey dickbag, egregious enema, etc, etc

      • Arolpin

        Snobby show-off!

  • President in Exile Firefly

    Sex in traffic rings? Wasn’t that the plot of a JG Ballard novel?

    • Zombishroom

      I thought it was a Cronenberg movie. I also thought it was hot.

      • President in Exile Firefly

        It was both.

      • Suttree

        Deborah, Rosanna, and Holly were great in that movie.

  • Shanzgood
    • WomanInThePersistence

      Me too. Sax, drums, and crazy legs? Too cool! Thanks.

    • Doug Langley

      “What’s this I hear about all this sax and violins on television? I mean, just what’s wrong with some good music? I like music with my tv shows! All types of music! I just won’t put up with – wait? What’s that? Oh! That’s different! Never mind.”

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I so miss Gilda.

    • hudson

      we have folks playing really topical stuff here. we even had the spectacle of being serenaded by sare jahan sein accha on aug 15 during the morning rush hour. i was like stunned. it’s actually one bespectacled middle aged guy. he seems rather aware. plus is gifted.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    Saaaay, you know who else worked for a former Speaker of the House?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Jeeves?

    • Doug Langley

      Boehner’s bartender?

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    I hate Drumpf because of Dan Rostenkowski’s role in alien abductions.

    • TJ Barke

      What about Don ‘The Dragon’ Wilson?

  • BadKitty904

    Aight, time to trundle off and start supper, before continuing to fend off Irma…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9ae561e189bd074da781d1548c241bf340a1a29086a314e473cf45c1440374c9.jpg

    • hudson

      cook well.

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste
    • shastakoala

      I like the word “Live” up in the corner of this picture. Just in case someone’s not sure.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        The alternative being “Resurrected on Tape”?

    • OutOfOrbit

      toss-up

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    I know there’s an entire other thread for this, but just FYI, McCain has already mavericked on the ACA replacement. He now says he’s not taking a position until he actually reads the final bill. Concerning. Deeply.

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      His girl friend Lindsay is one of the bill’s sponsors.

    • Shanzgood

      I’m sure he’s also Troubled.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        …..and Concerned.

    • Master Contrail Program
      • bbayliss

        Disposable cars…the nadir of American auto manufacturing.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        That’s a quality VEE-hicle, right there…

    • shastakoala

      And . . . . Pose.

    • OutOfOrbit

      him no longer haz all mental faculties intact

    • Wolf Tracker

      All I ever heard him say was he supported the idea and it isn’t even a bill yet and just a proposal and people went ape shit without even seeing the bill.

      People need to chill out and let’s see what is in the bill before you go all pitchforks and torches on McCain. After all he did just save us from a disastrous GOP repeal bill.

  • La forza del resistino

    Donnie Jr to testify before the Senate tomorrow and pleads that if I’m guilty of anything, does Leavenworth have any condos above the 54th floor that I’m accustomed to.

    • Doug Langley

      M*A*S*H: snobby Winchester is dressing down the others. “Don’t you fools realize that if we get caught, we’ll be sent to Leavenworth? Oh, mah GAWD, that’s in KANSAS!!”

      • Khavrinen

        Don’t worry, Charles, it’s ever so much better there now thanks to Brownback’s economic policies.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          At least the Prisoners there get three scares, a warm bed, and health care.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        You would thing Leavenworth would appeal to a Yeast Coat Snob.

  • bookish

    http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2017/09/05/electoral-college-national-popular-vote-compact-215541?utm_source=nl-politics-daily-090617&silverid=MzYzNzMxNTQ1MzM4S0

    If this sounds farfetched—politically cumbersome, mechanically problematic, legally questionable—well, it is. Since its conception in 2006, the Compact has been criticized as a constitutional end run that shouldn’t be taken seriously. And yet it’s far closer to taking effect than most of us realize. Ten states, plus the District of Columbia, have already joined, representing 165 combined electoral votes. By its own rules, the Compact needs to secure only another 105 electoral votes to trigger the change. That said, those next 105 will prove infinitely harder to collect than the first 165. All 10 states in the Compact, plus D.C., are Democratic strongholds; neither a single battleground state, nor a single red state, has entered. This stands to reason: Swing states don’t want to forfeit their privileged status, and Republicans lost the popular vote in six of the past seven presidential elections. If it weren’t for the Electoral College, Al Gore would have been president in 2001—and Hillary Clinton would be commander in chief today. Republicans, then, are understandably wary of switching to what many believe would be an unfavorable system. (On the other hand, some in the party—including President Trump—believe the GOP would campaign much differently, and stand a better chance of winning the White House, if it focused on every voter in every state. Conservatives, in particular, seem intrigued by testing the “center-right nation” theory.)

  • Kurt Weil

    Evan, brace yourself for comments about being a potty mouth. BRACE YOURSELF.

    • Edith Prickly

      Middle school paint huffer libelz.

      • Me not sure

        New name “The Hufferteen Post”?

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Fucking BRACE YOURSELF!

  • Edith Prickly

    Now we know who’s been taking all the opioids…

  • We are hitting a new level of fricken weird.

    Can you just grind up the Xanax and smoke it?

    Asking for a friend…

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Meanwhile. The Senate is considering for a life appointment to the Court of Appeals a Trump nominee who thinks her religious beliefs as a Catholic override the constitution.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-nominee-bible-constitution_us_59b004cbe4b0354e440e5379?ncid=inblnkushpmg00000009

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Stop giving my phone number to US Appeals Court Justices!”
      — Pope Frank

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I read the article she wrote. It absolutely does not say that a judge’s religious beliefs should be determinative. It, instead, argues that there are some difficult moral questions that come up for Catholic judges, and that the proper act for a practicing Catholic sitting in some abortion or death penalty cases is to recuse herself. HuffPo’s headline is really misleading. Go figure.

  • bookish

    If there’s anything I try to avoid thinking about, it’s Denny Hastert’s sex life. Go and do thou likewise.

    • Parakeetist

      Yipes

  • Ezio

    Sorry I haven’t been around for a while. School started up again and I’ve been getting settled in. I’m gonna have a lot of reading to do this semester.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      good on ya. heavy load? Luckily I only have two lecture classes and my externship classes.

      However, i have to take an intro to lit class next semester and do a bunch of reading and papers. Ugh.

      • Ezio

        Three 4000-level courses. I mean, I know I have tons of free time (which is why I accepted those classes) but I have several chapters a night to read and a handful of short writing assignments culminating in a big 10 pager at the end. My Professors seem like strict graders but at least are willing to help you out and offer you to meet with them.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Sounds like a good school. With good profs.

          • Ezio

            SUNY Old Westbury offers a solid education for a far more affordable price than other schools in this area.

            Now if they could get their parking in order, get some decent food and actually answer the phone when you call that’d be great.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Yeah, that would. But I’m very pleased you are getting a quality education.

          • Ezio

            One of the more diverse student bodies also.

    • jesterpunk

      Good luck in school, what are you majoring in?

      • Ezio

        History major, minor Journalism

        • jesterpunk

          That sounds like 2 interesting topics. Hope classes all go well for you.

          • Ezio

            I’ve wanted to do something with journalism ever since I wrote for my HS newspaper. I was nominated for an award at Hofstra in 10th grade. I didn’t win, of course.

          • jesterpunk

            But just being nominated is pretty impressive.

        • TundraGrifter

          I flipped that around – Journalism major, history minor. I very much doubt it made the slightest difference.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Just read the noncomments here. What else do you need to know?
      Best wishes on a fantastic semester!

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    Denver Health nurses suspended after opening body bag to see man’s genitals

    Thanks, Obamacare!

    http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/local-news/denver-health-nurses-suspended-after-opening-body-bag-to-see-mans-genitals

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “Lemme see da stiff.”

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    yeh gods, 90% of barbuda (?) destroyed.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      That’s horrifying!

  • UnsaltedSinner
  • Electriq

    Whatever hellish fucking nightmare trump supporters crawled out of, it’s well past time for them to slither back into it.

    Their bats and shit won’t be missed.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    So I scanned through the thread title here at Wonkette, and realized that I just can’t today. Seriously, things are sooooooooooohhhhh bad. Does anybody have good things to share? Because I’ve been unusually cranky and disheartened lately.

    Thank goodness for Stephen Colbert.

    https://youtu.be/3r6uM93zREI

    • jesterpunk

      Its not super important but I got my 3 guitar cases and guitar pedal today. Now I just need 2 more cases and all of my guitars will be protected.

      Oh and look for Sutree’s post down thread, that is super good news.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I think that’s very nice. Thanks.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        These are the important things … Ivanka’s chest visit not so much.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸
      • WomanInThePersistence

        Awwwwww…..

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      It looks like Amazon wants Crissy in a full-time, permanent supervisory job, and business here at the frame shop is going well. We’re putting together a bid for a BIG job for Hewlett-Packard.

      Oh, and I’m quitting cigarettes.

      • HorseChestnut

        Good luck! I just hit my eight year nicotine-free anniversary. It’s worth it.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        A trifecta of goodness! Thank you!

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      First day of 8th grade and minihontas is all smiles and positive, and planning on going to homework club. It’s a win for today!

    • grindstone

      Oh sweetness, ask me after this freaking hurricane passes. Kidding, here’s good news: at heart we are a good and resilient nation.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        *hugs* And are you in the storm’s path?

        • grindstone

          Off the west of main path.

  • CO
  • Ezio

    My favorite part of watching my local news station is seeing the terrible acting on the paid advertisements for local businesses.

  • ariel_gee_398

    Chris Matthews, live on tv, claims to be “playing” naive. Yeah, yeah, playing, that’s the ticket.

  • Jennifer R

    This is still just so fucking stupid.

    • jesterpunk

      Its a republican talking head.

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    Can someone tell Michael Moore to shut the fuck up? Jesus he’s fucking annoying.

    • Serai 1

      Not me. He’s been right too many times. I don’t care if he’s annoying.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    I think the most disturbing part about everything this nutbucket lady says is how much projection Republicans do.

    • AJ Milne

      For serious, I try not to catch the paranoia reading these people…

      … but has anyone checked _her_ basement?

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Also, how quick lowlife people are to sling out the “pedophile” accusation.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    Things I just learnt: Dennis Hastert went to prison for raping boys, and not for lying about hush money as I had previously been led to believe; approximately 67% of Americans are scumbags tied to pedophile sex rings.

  • Serai 1
  • Joe Beese

    It looks like the consensus of the models is that Irma is going to skip Cuba and come barreling straight into Miami at Category 4. Not good.

    http://derecho.math.uwm.edu/models/al112017.png

    http://derecho.math.uwm.edu/models/al112017_inten.png

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      talked to miami buddy today – he’s still not sure if he’s going to leave. For a smart guy, he can be an obstinate stupid ass sometimes.

      • jesterpunk

        My boss is in Miami they are leaving tomorrow. Not sure why they are waiting so long though.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          I am worried sick about people waiting too long and clogging the freeways where they get stuck as the damn thing blows the hell out of them. I’ve had nightmares about that sort of thing.

          • jesterpunk

            Isnt that what happened in Houston in the previous hurricane and the reason they didnt tell people to evacuate for Harvey? Because too many people leaving at the same time means no one will get anywhere?

          • Catstro

            I have a friend in Tampa who decided not to risk it and just head north to ATL. She’s been on the road 5 hours and hasn’t made it to Gainesville yet. She filled up before she left, but all the stations off the highway are now out of gas. Worried about people running out of gas and getting stranded on the highway. Of course she has friends telling her she was dumb for leaving because the hurricane isn’t even going to effect Tampa, which is shitty.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            That’s my fear too.

      • Wolf Tracker

        I would tell him to at least know where the closest approved shelter is and send you a copy of his will.

        Maybe that will motivate him.

        • SDGeoff3

          It would make me think twice.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            he’s been there 15 years or so…an see: ass, obstinate above.
            ; )

        • TundraGrifter

          Tell him to write his name and SS# on his forearm with a Sharpie.

          Those instructions made me cringe and I live on the Left Coast.

      • TundraGrifter

        When I went to Suntan U they issued hurricane instructions to the students. I remember one of them was “fill the bathtub.” Didn’t do us any good – we had two showers.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Has anybody heard from Blarney or Parrakeetist?

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        haven’t seen Blarney at all today.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I’m sincerely hoping that means he’s getting/got out.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            he sounded really serious about it last we talked, so I’m guessing he’s on the road. Traffic sounds like a bastard – there’s only about 3 major highways out, if that.

          • Joe Beese

            Based on Irma’s projected path, which includes Florida’s heavily populated eastern coast, the enormous storm could create one of the largest mass evacuations in US history, CNN senior meteorologist Dave Hennen said. Miami-Dade, Broward and Palm Beach counties combined have about 6 million people.

            http://www.cnn.com/2017/09/06/us/hurricane-irma-evacuation-florida/index.html

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            i was JUST looking for that story – I saw the headline a few hours ago.

          • jesterpunk

            Harvey caused Houston to sink a little, considering Miami is 6 inches above sea level and Irma is huge the whole city may be under water for a while.

            https://arstechnica.com/science/2017/09/the-weight-of-harveys-floodwater-actually-made-houston-sink-a-little/

          • Latverian Diplomat

            Dear Georgia,
            You’ve been warned.

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            Only 1 out of the keys.

          • Joe Beese
          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            There’s one of those heading to S. Padre – as a desert rat, crossing it scared me shitless.

          • Rebel Scum with permit

            = GTFO

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            fair enough, I was assuming he had already made it to the mainland. I actually never visited the Keys.

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            It’s a long drive to Miami from Key west. At least a few hours if memory serves. I’m sure he’s making wise choices :-)

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            Blarney’s a smart cat.
            ; )

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            As is evidenced by not commenting where commenting is totally not allowed!
            Maybe too smart, in fact…

      • jesterpunk

        Blarney said he was leaving a few days ago. He may not have internet access.

      • Courser_Resistance

        I’ve had a long thread going with Parakeetist through earlier today. She? He? is stuck until Friday but is well prepared. S/he should be okay til then.

        • Parakeetist

          O hai. I’m a she. :) We’re okay for the moment. Thank you.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            So glad to hear that.

          • Courser_Resistance

            Thanks! You sound like a ‘she’ but I never assume :-)

          • Parakeetist

            That’s cool. :)

    • Joe Beese
      • Joe Beese

        If you closely follow hurricane forecasting, you know that in recent years, the European Center for Medium-Range Weather Forecasts has the best forecast model in the world based upon skill scores. Often, the model produced by this intergovernmental organization of 34 nations generates the best forecasts for hurricane tracks. In some cases, during Hurricane Harvey, it even exceeded the skill of human forecasters at the National Hurricane Center. …

        The operational version (the highest resolution, best guess, single run) of the European model shows a landfall almost directly over Miami.

        https://arstechnica.com/science/2017/09/heres-what-the-worlds-most-accurate-weather-model-predicts-for-irma/

        https://cdn.arstechnica.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/euroopea.jpg

      • Wolf Tracker

        I am no weather scientists but I do know bowling and the spin on that storm is making it curve left so it will hug Cuba and when it hits the mouth between Florida and Cuba it could shoot left right over Miami and into the gulf headed at Louisiana.

        Which ever it does it is going to be bad!

        • Joe Beese

          “God does not bowl with the universe.” – Einstein

          • Villago Delenda Est

            “When God bowls a 7-10 split, he does it on purpose, always, to show off picking up the spare” – VDE

        • Werewolf

          There’s a cold (well, cool) front here in Texas that’s pushing it eastward.

  • SDGeoff3

    Sometimes I read these thangs and just don’t know what to say. The late-night pack isn’t very funny anymore, because we’ve run out of irony. Or something.

    • bbayliss

      Are we irony deficient?

      • SDGeoff3

        I needed a good laugh! YES!!

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        All the irony just done clean drained outta me.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        I may need supplements, in spite of being post menopausal

        • shastakoala

          Pass the Geritol please.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Now where the hell did I put my teeth? And get off my lawn!

          • shastakoala

            Ha! :)

          • SisterArtemis

            I am a hard core “get off my lawn” gal, and have been since I got one back in the 1980s; when I was still a young thing.

            In hippie-Eugene, traveler kids (the punks you see hitching everywhere with their puppies and kittens) will just plop down for hours on any random lawn, and then there are the drunks who plant their butts where their energy runs out.

            It just irritates the fuck out of me. I can only imagine what kind of asshole I’ll be when I am actually a member of Teh Oldz.*sigh*

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I actually went to get in my car one time, and found a homeless gentleman had mostly crawled under my car to escape the rain. I call him a gentleman, because he was one. I shrieked, he woke up and shrieked, and then he was tremendously apologetic. He was insanely polite. And the only person creeping onto my driveway that I told had permission to camp there if he’d just give me a heads up. I think I scared him off though, because I haven’t seen him again.

          • SisterArtemis

            Yep, I’d say about half the folks I deal with are pretty polite. Not always real together, but fairly reasonable to deal with. The young travelers swing between very nice, even cleaning up after OTHER people, to real entitled assholes. Takes all kinds, I guess.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I’m pretty much case by case with them. As you say, some are very decent people. And I’m sure many of them have pretty sketchy families, and are escaping. When the streets are safer than your family home, well that’s just heartbreaking.

            The entitled assholes? Well, I’m not so enchanted.

          • Arolpin

            Ugh, the traveler kids. That was the most frustrating thing about Portland when I was there a couple years ago, I hate aggressive panhandlers. They’re probably not as annoying as the trustafarians who used to be all over St. Marks Place in the 90s, but they’re pretty annoying.
            My wife’s cousin did that for a year, and it drove my wife crazy every time her cousin would call and talk about how cool it is, and how nice people let them sleep in a barn, and how great everyone was.
            Once she returned home there were a lot more stories about how scary it was and how freaky the people were. But of course they all had dogs, and weren’t smart enough to figure out how to hop a freight train, so they hitchhiked, and very few people are willing to pick up 4 scruffy hitchhikers, all with dogs, so they spent a lot of time stuck in the middle of nowhere.
            GET OFF MY LAWN!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      We try. But sometimes it’s just hard to be funny.

      • SDGeoff3

        I was referring to the lesser talents on your network teevee

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Aren’t you sweet!

          • SDGeoff3

            I try. But this is a nicer place to be.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Yes. Yes it is.

        • SisterArtemis

          Oh! I thought you were referring to your depressed dejected wonkfriends.

          Which talking heads have drawn your attention? Surely not just Totally Normal LAdy up there?

          • SDGeoff3

            No, not the wonk tribe!
            Nevvvah!!! (Fixed it)

  • toughsister

    Liz Crokin is a townhall.com columnist. Hard-right. Some of the creepiest alt-righters contribute to that cesspool.

    • bbayliss

      I found myself on townhall ONCE, years ago,
      still haven’t recovered.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Town Hall sounds more appropriate in the original German: das Rathaus

  • Up In Smoke O’hontas

    I can honestly say, of all the reasons I hate 45, that broad talkin’ crazy up there is one of them.

  • memzilla Ω
    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      awesome. just awesome.

    • bbayliss

      One of my favs.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      I don’t really buy it, but it’s funny.

      • OutOfOrbit

        i can buy it. some flyboys were pretty … free-wheeling

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Oh, I can believe he dropped an f-bomb at a school event, I just think somebody massaged that into a too good to be true joke structure. YMMV.

          • Bub, the cynical zombie

            That joke is what the Brits call an “old chestnut.” I’ve heard it told about WWI pilots, WWII pilots…

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Although that story is almost certainly apocryphal, Bader was quite the character. After the war, there was going to be a reunion of RAF pilots who had been trained under the Commonwealth Air Training Plan, and someone suggested that they invite Luftwaffe ace Adolf Galland to the reunion. This caused quite a controversy. At one meeting, a former officer said: “Look, it’s the most extraordinary thing to invite a German ace to a Commonwealth Air Training Plan reunion,” to which Bader is said to have replied: “Well, if it weren’t for chaps like him there would not have been a Commonwealth Air Training scheme.”

      Galland was invited, and a good time was had by all…

    • SpideySenser

      Brilliant!

    • wobbly

      Oh, we had some bad news here in Rochester, New York, last Saturday. My husband’s best friend’s mother, Enid Craxton, died at the age of ninety-five, in England.

      Her husband, Robin Craxton, served in the RAF, not as a pilot (thanks be to God!) but as a mechanic.

      Until now, their son, Stephen Craxton, has held wedding anniversary parties here in Rochester for his parents…

      My Hudson Avenue co-workers often asked me “What are you doing this weekend?”

      When I answered, “I’m going to a wedding anniversary party for a couple who have been happily married for more than sixty years.”

      No one actually believed me.

      That’s impossible!

      It is possible, but it takes a bit a of luck.

  • yyyaz

    Somewhat funny: Woman trapped in window trying to retrieve poo after Tinder date
    http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-bristol-41167296

    • amrak63

      I can hear the wedding bells in the future for these two now:

      DUNG! DUNG! DUNG!

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        Monty Python riddle:

        “What’s brown and sounds like a bell?”

        • amrak63

          “What’s all this I hear about saving endangered feces?”

          • Bub, the cynical zombie

            You don’t want to do that. Someone’s feces collection came to life 71 years ago in Queens, and NOW look at the problems we’re having with it.

        • Kiri the Unicorn
          • Bub, the cynical zombie

            “Come on love – drop ’em!”

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            “Sorry I had to bring the goat, only he’s not well.”

          • Bub, the cynical zombie

            “As long as he doesn’t do a bundle.”

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      I’m still trying to figure out how Tinder is relevant.

      Not sure I want to know.

      • Ωbjectifier

        Wipe right?

    • wait! what?

      “How I met your Mother” just got interesting.

    • Courser_Resistance

      That’s a unique solution to English toilets that totally fail at flushing. I haven’t done a ton of world travel but I had a similar issue staying with friends outside of London.

    • wobbly

      She could have just let the shit sit in the toilet. What harm was it doing?

      • Arolpin

        But then there would have been proof that she POOPED, and we all know that ladies don’t poop, especially young ladies. (Young men aren’t much better. I spend an entire night next to a woman unable to sleep because I had to poop, and at this particular cabin, it required a walk to the outhouse. I didn’t know where the outhouse was, because we arrived after dark and I was just peeing behind a tree. Eventually it got light enough to see the outhouse and I took care of business, and got back into bed before she woke up.)

  • La forza del resistino
  • shastakoala

    I just got off the phone with some dear friends living inland, South Carolina. They’re fairly sure they’re safe but have the car packed and Vermont friends notified they might be on their way for a visit. Their house is about 12 feet above their very own private creek/river and depending on rain they might have to move out fast.

  • TootsStansbury

    I can’t anymore. There are real problems that need real solutions. This weird cult, they’re like something out of science fiction.

  • Ezio

    Ya know, blaming homeless beggars for the nation’s problems and disregarding their lives while endorsing a billionaire businessman as President is not only peak America, but peak Capitalism.

    Story: Trump loving Oklahoma man runs over sleeping homeless people with his truck. http://www.rawstory.com/2017/09/trump-loving-tulsa-man-runs-over-sleeping-homeless-people-in-deadly-truck-rampage/

    • jesterpunk

      But liberals are the violent ones…

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      A loyal soldier in TrumpAmerica, reducing the surplus population.

      • Suttree

        If only they would do that by using condoms.

        • amrak63

          If only their fathers had used condoms.

          (Does expressing that wish violate blog policy?)

          • Bub, the cynical zombie

            If I could go back in time, it would be to give Fred Trump a gross of rubbers about 72 years ago.

          • shastakoala

            Eww that is gross.

          • President in Exile Firefly

            Or a vasectomy while he slept. Just to be sure.

          • Suttree

            Not to my knowledge.

  • wait! what?

    Fake news sources say Donald left the debt ceiling meeting by finishing of a diet coke can, spitting it into Mitch McConnell’s face and then crushing the can on Paul Ryan’s head. Paul was almost crippled because everyone knows his core strength is shitty and he skips leg day.

  • Me not sure

    I have come to regret hoping that Irma would take a run up the Florida east coast and in an act of karmic justice decimate Mar-A -Lago. Now I believe that that honor should go to Jose, providing Trump let’s him into the country.

    • jesterpunk

      What about Katia? That sounds more Russian and is right behind Jose.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      A big, beautiful wall will stop Jose.

      For about 5 seconds.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Hurricanes are terrific dishwashers, if you don’t need the dishes back anyways.

      • Panika MCD

        they’re also great at the teardown part of renovation where they make landfall.

    • Panika MCD

      let Jose hit his NJ club?

      • Me not sure

        Deal.

    • President in Exile Firefly

      Irma also sounds kinda Spanish…

  • WomanInThePersistence
  • Villago Delenda Est

    These people can’t process facts that contradict their ideology, or the memes that service their ideology, in any way.

    They are lost.

  • Michael R
  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    spicey gives “the Mooch” a run for his money, perhaps literally:

    “Axios reports that Sean Spicer is looking into how to cash in on his infamy. Apparently people stop him for selfies “all the time,” and his press briefings were very popular in Ireland.

    Among the possibilities Spicer is weighing:

    Lucrative consultancies (not lobbying) to give advice to individuals and corporations.

    Paid appearances on TV shows in Ireland and the U.K.

    Hollywood productions have reached out.

    There’ll be no tell-all, but he’s considering a book detailing lessons learned in crisis communications, at the White House and the Republican National Committee, where he was chief strategist.”

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Melissa McCarthy impersonations?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      The Big Brother: Former White House Communications Staff season was not the summer ratings bonanza CBS hoped for.

    • Wolf Tracker

      I think there will be a Spicey tell all but it will be under Grand Jury subpoena.

    • mancityRed6

      they drink a lot in Ireland…well, Europe in general.
      but they also have crucifixions on fences there. well, at least when I was there in ’03

  • Panika MCD

    why weren’t my new legs and poblano ranch sauce waiting for me when I got home?

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      #OpenThreadJokes.

      ; p

      • Panika MCD

        I didn’t think it was a joke. I am always perfectly serious.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Obama strikes again.

    • mancityRed6

      crap, I got stuck in OKC.
      sorry, on my way.

      • Panika MCD

        damn skippy!

        • mancityRed6

          wait, is that with or without the oxford comma?

          • Panika MCD

            without.

          • mancityRed6

            I dunno if I’m drunk or confused. maybe both.

          • Panika MCD

            so you skipped out of the job of delivering my #4 to drink? you might have a problem.

          • mancityRed6

            don’t turn this around on me.
            oh, wait. I guess you can.

      • TundraGrifter

        At least you can have some great BBQ for dinner.

        • mancityRed6

          in Oklahoma? are you kidding?
          I’m from around KC, so you must be joking.

          • TundraGrifter

            Flying from San Francisco to Chicago, I discovered I could spend up to 4 hours in KC on the way. So I did – and went to Arthur Bryant’s for lunch.

          • mancityRed6

            not bad, and he served actual presidents.
            but Gate’s is better. and smokestack, but I don’t know if they’re open anymore.

  • jowgajen

    GIS map of Miami Dade county with evacuation orders color coded. I presume Red = GTFO, Orange = You really should leave, Yellow = Don’t you have some family further inland you can stay with?

    http://gisweb.miamidade.gov/communityservices/?ShowWhat=OEM

    • Panika MCD

      it’s probably also timed so not everyone is trying to leave at the same time.

  • Musical interlude…
    https://youtu.be/q1CqNLgM5JU

    • Persistent Demme

      Nice and vicious!

  • ariel_gee_398

    This letter, shockingly, does not appear to have been written by a member of the Trump family: https://twitter.com/Nicole_Cliffe/status/905568531416211457

  • Amelia Resists and Persists

    Why is it that whackjobs deal with criticism by calling everyone pedophiles? I mean, this is a constant thing with Scientologists as well if you watch footage of members clashing with the media or protestors. They always imply the person they’re attacking is a pedophile.

    It’s just such a specific thing for ALL of the lunatics to jump to instinctively. Is it just the shock value, because that’s one of the worst things humans do to each other? How big a percentage of it is projection, seeing as hardcore religious types (again, including Scientologists) make up a disproportionate amount of high profile pedophilia and child pornography cases?

    I’m just curious how this all happened.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Projection.

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        As it ever was.

      • mancityRed6

        dammit.
        so it’s a contest of wits, is it?

        I give.

        • WomanInThePersistence
          • mancityRed6

            it’s not the first time I was the black knight.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Flesh wounds can be serious.

          • mancityRed6

            *giggles*

    • Latverian Diplomat

      It’s a terrible accusation, and it turns people’s brains off when they hear it.

    • Panika MCD

      plenty of whackjobs will accuse you of fake news or making political things political also.

    • NotALiar

      It is literally all Mike Cernovich talks about. If you disagree with him about how hot it is outside he does a 90 min periscope vid about how you are def a pedo. Dude projects ril hard.

    • mancityRed6

      projection. look it up.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      It’s just about the worst thing you can be in our society. A paroled murderer lives with fewer restrictions than a pedophile. You are an outcast, reviled, by society, forever, considered incurable, and could find yourself living the rest of your life under a bridge, if you’re not attacked and killed in prison, and if you ever do get out.
      It’s really a terrifying accusation.

    • One step above an atheist.

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        I resemble that remark. Atheist, not pedo, but it’s frightening how the general public abhors atheists and refuse to comprehend that someone could be morally upright without doing so out of fearing eternal punishment. There’s a deeper truth in that confusion, also too.

        • Quite simply, “A belief in the supernatural is not a prerequisite to living an honest, kind, loving, and just life.”

  • Left Coast Tom

    “Slide Mountain”, northern border of Yosemite, last weekend. Taken from the north.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dc078a98a2fb8bf2e41f10b54776e324942a8ec6689ba1bc0d9f2f551d4c6c7f.jpg

    • mancityRed6

      I don’t hate you, I’m just jealous.
      and I’m working through that.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Where’s Heidi?

    • It looks not unlike it did in the early 80s! Rejoice in the unspoiled beauty that is left!

  • mancityRed6

    well, fuck.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Yep.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      I have lived among you humans for quite some time, and have come to know your ways. That didn’t sound like an invitation.

      • mancityRed6

        don’t be like that.

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          Okay.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Better than an unwell fuck, yes?

      • mancityRed6

        at this point in my life, I dunno.

  • Joe Beese
    • mancityRed6

      jeebus
      I want to go through a major storm,but, hell no. not that.

      • Joe Beese

        Yeah, that’s just a smidge more excitement than I need in my life.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Jesus. That’s like something out of a nightmare!

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Shit, shit, shit.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      ye gods.

    • Rasilom

      Its just a consperacy. Rot Limbutger told me. Fake news!

    • President in Exile Firefly

      Rush, tell us again how this is just a plot to sell batteries and bottled water.

  • Panika MCD

    bitches be like, “Meeka! we love you so much we gonna eat ya! *monch monch monch*”

    • mancityRed6

      I…uh…ok?
      I’m just, I dunno. lost?

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        jazzy and calliope jane are apparently synergistically rambunctious.

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          I think that’s caused by the solar flare described further down the threads …

      • Panika MCD

        Calliope Jane and Hurricane Jazzy are both female dogs.

        • mancityRed6

          dogs come more readily to the long E sounds. which is why I made sure the last two were named Daisy and Middie.

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            “Ah” works too. My Bella would agree.

        • mancityRed6

          dammit.
          my reading comprehension just sucks nowadays.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Have you had their water bowl water tested for Alex Jones Patented Trucker Speed® ?

      • Panika MCD

        Alex Jones doesn’t come out of his hovel in Westlake unless a) he is out of booze, b) he has a court date or c) he has plans to terrorize someone else’s city. it was not Alex Jones Trucker Speed.

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          Or he needs more chili.

          • Panika MCD

            that’s what his fiancee is for.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • I would look good in that.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        Who wouldn’t?!?

        • Covfefe

          Say what you want. They’re still pants. Not appropriate for a mommy recipe blog.

          • Red Bird

            Good. You’re on pants watch tonight. Keep it up.

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        I did look good in that. Then, I got older.

        • Martini Ambassador 🍸

          Pix or GTFO, as is the custom.

          • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

            OK, so I didn’t have the ‘stache. Or the abs. Or the hair. Or the white bell bottoms. Or the hot chick. But otherwise that’s me.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Remington Steele libel.

    • Ωbjectifier

      All the way up to size 34 for you fatties.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    so, for some reason our third cat, who doesn’t like me and LOVES mom was in my room chilling.

    he doesn’t like kitteh doors and gets her to open the back door, even though there’s a kitty door.

    He just walked up to my door, looked at the kitteh door, then looked around the edges of the door frame as if to ask, “why isn’t this magically opening.”

    UPDATE: He apparently finally held his kitty nose and used the kitteh door. I AM NOT HIS DOORMAN!

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Well, you are … to him.

    • Me not sure

      Baby steps. …Just stay resolute. WINNING!

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        IKR? We “talk” about this all the time when he pulls this crap. I tell him I am not his doorman and he may have tricked mom into working for him, but I won’t!

        Totally unrelated, I think this internship will be good for me. I’m clearly at home too much.

        • OutOfOrbit

          by “at home” you mean … ?

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            unemployed and here way too fucking much.

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            It’s good to have a requirement to get one’s ass out and moving. As much as I hate leaving my bed every.damn.morning. by the second hour at work I’m caffeinated and engaged. Although, I really need someone else to paint and decorate the bedroom because I sure don’t feel like doing it after work!

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            IKR? I haven’t had a real desk job (with the exception of the ill fated law job) in over 10 years.

            It’s weird.

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            That’s what long weekends are for. Sherwin Williams always has a paint sale on the holidays.

        • Me not sure

          Don’t try a staredown. That is how they get you.
          Edit: Oh, I almost forgot. Best of luck on the internship. Network the fuck out of it.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            lol. mom swears they have mind manipulation powers – I don’t disagree.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Learn your place, human 😡

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste
      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        IKR?

    • Rachel Book Harlot
      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        mom says this all the time.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Sir Terry had his own phrasing for this, same sentiment.

    • mancityRed6

      the dogs found out the cat door we put in the kitchen door was big enough for them.
      that was a turning point.

    • Your nym is not Carlton!

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    Through an exhaustive investigative journalism of my colon, I have made the startling discovery that Peyton Manning has been sekritly massaging to young, strong, virile men to hook up in Omaha with “coaches” for “practice drills”. Don’t believe me? Well, listen for yourself.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1IZdqPYuts

  • Granny Sprinkles

    I hate Donald trump because he refuses to braid his eyebrows even though he clearly could, also too because he’s shit, but mostly the eyebrows thing.

    • wait! what?

      Psychonian libelz!
      They’ll be paying you a visit, but you won’t see them coming because they can look like everyone else.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Yeah, he does need some manscaping, but who would do the job? The spray tanner?

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I hate Donald trump because he refuses to burn his eyebrows off with an oxyacetylene torch.

  • This woman would rank high among the manic and angry females I used to walk in on accidentally as they were snorting that last bit of coke off the back of a toilet.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      She does sound nice.

    • Bananas Foster

      Bipolar libels.

  • Wolf Tracker

    Already 3 fatalities reported from Irma before they have even done any searches and Barbuda is uninhabitable.

    Come on Storm and move back north out to sea.

    • Wolf Tracker

      Uninhabitable sorry.

      • HorseChestnut

        Disqus does let you edit – there ought to be an Edit option down next to Reply, below your posts.

        • Wolf Tracker

          I did edit but if people don’t reload they still see the original.

  • TundraGrifter

    Monday night we went to see “The Big Sick.” Very, very funny!

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    So one of my colleagues contended that Canadian healthcare is terrible and Obamacare costs 1000 bucks for a family of four.

    • Your colleague is dumb.

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        I found it rather surprising at the amount of teachers that are Republican. One of our social studies teachers had a “Less government, more freedom” bumper sticker on his car for a while.

        • Cripes, even my super enthusiastic about Capitalism econ teacher was a reasonable human

        • sincarne

          Isn’t that basically hanging out a sign saying “I am completely unqualified for my position?”

    • Wolf Tracker

      Depends on their income and state for ACA but how does he know about Canada’s system?

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        I don’t know. I retorted that my Uncle, who is Canadian, has all kinds of health issues and neither he nor his wife have complained.

      • ltmcdies

        FOX News

        • Three Finger Salute

          Probably Fucker Carlson, who clearly has a hatecrush on Justin.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        He read about it at Breitbart!

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      1000 bucks could be on the low side, depending on the plan and your income. The ACA hasn’t been a great deal for healthy people over a certain income level. But I don’t believe for one minute that the average Canadian family would want our healthcare system.

      • The average Canadian single person would tell you to jump off a cliff

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          That’s true for the average citizen of any industrialized country. No matter what their problems, nobody is clamouring to adopt our healthcare non system.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Architect of the healthcare plan, Tommy Douglas (Kiefer Sutherland’s grandpa on his mom’s side) was voted “Greatest Canadian Ever” in a poll about 10-15 years ago, ahead of literally every Prime Minister (Pierre was 4th) and even Wayne Gretzky. So, obviously he must have done something right, bigly.

    • ltmcdies

      average Canadian…your colleague’s a moron….and I’ll thank him/her to to shut up about a system he/she knows nothing about.

      you may quote me, if you like

    • AJ Milne

      Re the ‘terrible’ claim, this kinda noise has been ongoing for years. Both sides of the border, too.

      Truth: Canadian healthcare has _some_, I’d say limited, issues. Waiting lists, for some important stuff, it’s true. If you’re _rich_ enough, you can probably do slightly better in the US system. There’s facilities you can get there with enough money the Canadian system doesn’t quite provide. There’s anxiety about funding as the population ages, too…

      More context: I lived in the US a bit. Well-paid rivate sector job, high tech company, great company health plan. Apart from the somewhat more involved paperwork under private insurance (the patient sees very, very little of this, normally, in the Canadian system), I didn’t notice much difference…

      … but your mileage will vary hugely. What’s different in Canada is: I had good healthcare when I was between jobs, after university. I had good healthcare when I was a smalltown reporter making peanuts. I had good healthcare when I needed it, regardless of my salary, same as _everyone_ I meet, from CEO to panhandler. And that means, by the way, _lower_ per capita costs, by several measures, probably in part because people get things seen to earlier, don’t have to be pushed to extremes of panic and the emergency ward before they finally get something dealt with. You actually have a shot at the fabled shift of cost from (pricey) urgent interventions to (much more preferable and cheaper) preventative therapies, when everyone isn’t dreading the bill.

      AJ’s Politifact Infographic therefore judges your colleagues claim mostly wrong and by the very, very limited standards it could be judged right (yay, rich folks might get slightly better care), if he stood _that_ up as his defense, on balance kinda barbaric. So: three and a quarter Mengeles, or so.

    • Three Finger Salute

      The worst Canuck plan still can’t be any worse than Fuckyoucare in the U.S.

    • Persistent Demme

      I’ve had a baby there.
      The care was wonderful.
      (Beer for new mothers!)

      The best thing about it is knowing that everyone has it, (it helps to be the kind of person that cares about others).
      There is a lot of freedom in knowing that you are not tied to your benefits.

    • sincarne

      I had a heart attack. Within hours of arriving at the hospital, I had three stents. I was in CCU for three days, general cardiac for three more. Then I went to cardiac rehab for six weeks. I meet with a cardiologist several times a year, and I have access to psychological counselling and a dietician a couple times a year if I need them. Out of pocket cost to me?

      $0.

      So tell your colleague to shut his idiot yap.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Just saw a photo of Trump and Chuck Schumer in a bro-hug. Wondering exactly how we’re about to get sold out this time.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Looked more to me like Shumer was giving him shit and Trump, being the coward he is, was trying to buddy up to him.

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        It’s a fascinating turn of events. Did Donald go with the Dems because he knew mainstream GOP would be pissed off and there’s nothing more Donald likes than presumptive lackeys getting fucked.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Dems have to make sure they don’t become his presumptive lackeys.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Trump is a weak, stupid man and Schumer has played him. McConnell has to be fuming.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        which is why I’m worried too…all he needs is Fox Newz to lose its shit and get some phone calls and he’ll flip flop.

      • RobKanC

        We will hear about how the Jews manipulated great Fuh.. I mean Leader tomorrow.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Or it’s Schumer telling Trump, “Don’t fucking touch me.” At least that’s what I wish.

      http://i2.cdn.cnn.com/cnnnext/dam/assets/170906161517-schumer-trump-0906-crop-exlarge-169.jpg

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        trump’s smiling, in his own gross way. I’m really trying to rack my brain to figure out what could have possibly been said here.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          This is what has me worried.

        • ariel_gee_398

          To be fair, Chuck saying, “This is in your capable, large hands, Mr. President” would probably be enough to make Donnie light up like a fucking Christmas tree.

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          “No, I won’t fix you up with Amy!”?

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        Should I inquire as to where that finger has been?

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Remember, Donnie is all pissed off at the GOP because they aren’t “supporting” him.

        “I’ll help you screw those republicans, Donald.”

      • ltmcdies

        Am I seeing somebody getting a finger wag in the face…kind a looks like it

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Trump is smiling. This never means anything good.

          • Everrett Fanuelli

            It could also be Trump’s “I’m uncomfortable” face.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            “I haven’t had a bowel movement in 3 weeks!”

          • ltmcdies

            looks like fart face to me

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Forgive me if I don’t exactly trust Chuck Schumer with the keys to the car.

          • ltmcdies

            how long can Harvey victims wait while the GOP in congress dick around.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I’m not saying this is a bad thing…I don’t know. As I said in another post above, everything Trump has ever done in his life involves corrupting others. Why would that change now? I just don’t want to see DACA and minorities sold out for some short term political “fuck you” to Republicans.

          • ltmcdies

            1) it takes two to become “corrupt” … a word quickly losing any meaning due to it’s frequent use to describe anything and everything

            2) is there anything anywhere yet to say someone is being sold out

            3) the very largest question….how many fights can fought all at the same time? Is it sustainable that America’s president and Congress can manage : 4th largest city flooded,
            areas of it’s west coast on fire,
            a huge trade agreement being renegotiated with trade partners in stronger positions than they were 25 years ago.
            a destabilizing government in NK who apparently now have a hydrogen bomb without getting in the same room

            I think any foreigner like me watching wonders…how long can America sustain this dysfunction. When is somebody gonna govern?

            Hillary should have been president….but she’s not.

            Let’s hope what this does is demo that Dems can govern even without the Oval Office, House and Senate.

            .

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            “Corrupt” isn’t contextual nor has it lost meaning. Trump is a sociopath, and the only thing he is actually good at is cynically zeroing in on the greed ego, and ambition of others to manipulate them, instincts he has honed over a lifetime of practice. Schumer is not the worst guy in the world, but he’s a classic careerist, corporate Democrat, and there’s not always a good track record there. If his maneuvering and intentions pan out for the good, more power to him. Minorities-me included-sometimes justifiably feel our concerns are used simply as moral bargaining chips for other outcomes that don’t include us. A little healthy skepticism is not only warranted, but wise and necessary.

            I was expressing some personal anxieties, not really trying to sort out the totality of the monumental clusterfuck that we face in this country right now, which is depressing and emotionally overwhelming.

          • ltmcdies

            OK here’s what I saw last year.

            HIllary is corrupt, …..

            OK…and what specific acts of corruption can be pointed to as evidence

            oh uh…something, something, Haiti. Foundation..something…I just don’t like her.

            And now we see this “corruption” word creeping into tweets and comments on Senator Kamala Harris. Cory Booker. Never anything all that specific….He’s too close to drug companies…she was a prosecutor who didn’t do…..something.

            I see the word corruption these days….I want to see the actual charges

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            If you’re thinking I’m one of the purer-than-thou BernOuts, you are gravely mistaken. I’m talking about Trump….who, by the way, has been thoroughly corrupt his entire life and never criminally charged for it.

          • ltmcdies

            and when there’s evidence that happened…OK…until then…how much dysfunction can Americans sustain out of their government?

            because from where many foreigners like me sit….how does America get to 2020 or 2018 intact.

            It’s governing party is run by a headcase and packed with loons, while it opposition is busy relitigating primaries as bots, paid trolls
            and the libertarian/extreme left looking to cash on the Democrats party structure, egg them on.

            at least Schumer and Pelosi are acting like elected legislators..

    • ltmcdies

      if it’s the pic below….what bro hug?

  • wait! what?

    Kellyanne and Sarah have the same post-Donald admin theme song.

    https://youtu.be/0TOxhzAm7fY

  • Ellie

    I cannot admit that’s why I dislike Donnie from Queens. I started disliking him in 1980 when he spewed forth a lot of blather as to why he couldn’t save the sculptures on the Bonwit Teller building (that he tore down to build his first compensating tower). When he started the nonsense about not being able to do it because it was dangerous, I said to myself, “He may talk nicely (and he could put together whole sentences back then) but he’s full of cobblers. He is a liar and a cheat.” It took me a few years to find out the rest of the reasons I think he’s a lump of sludge starting with his laughing admission that he never intended to even try to save the ladies on the building.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      I have loathed him as long as I have been aware of him – about 35 years. People who genuinely like the bastard are idiots as far as I’m concerned. It’s an infallible litmus test.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        You, along with most NYers, can’t stand Donnie Dumbass. He’s been a self-centered shit since I can remember.

    • Caepan

      Trump’s been dead to me since he ruined the USFL back in 1985.

  • Red Bird

    tl:dr Trump is still president? Why?

    • RobKanC

      Ohio, PA and Fucking Wisconsin.

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        Mmmm, melted cheese.

      • Rags

        Mi too

  • Joe Beese

    Three votes in the House against Harvey relief: Justin Amash (MI), Thomas Massie (KY), Andy Biggs (AZ).

    I don’t have to tell you which party they belong to, do I?

    • Wolf Tracker

      Freedom Kochus.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Socialist Workers Party?

      No?

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      I sure hope these guys stand on “principle” and vote no if their states need emergency relief.

    • Master Contrail Program

      It’s safe to say they’re probably not Greens. They only run for president every four years.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Wobblies?

    • Master Contrail Program

      Know-nothings. Regardless of the letter after their names.

    • President in Exile Firefly

      All inland states, I notice.

    • Left Coast Tom

      Amway? (Amash represents Grand Rapids…)

    • Panika MCD

      Liberty Corner?

    • Three Finger Salute

      Well, that’s two annoying Justins who should be stripped of the name. Bieber is the other one. Prince Trueheart needs to copyright his or something.

  • bluicebank

    Speaking of overly paranoid Right wingers (Raw Story linky):

    “The seventh season of ‘American Horror Story’ on the FX network has sent
    conservatives into a rage over its [alleged] portrayal of President Donald Trump’s
    supporters as a dangerous, violent cult.”

    The FIRST RULE of Cinderella’s Shoe Club is if the shoe fits, DON’T wear it. (Also known as the O.J. Glove Club.)

    “Conservative website The Daily Wire said on Wednesday
    that ‘the latest season of “American Horror Story: Cult” is just a
    rehash of the same Hollywood trope of portraying Trump supporters as
    raging psychopaths who pick fights with innocent Mexicans and terrorize
    lesbians.’ ”

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/09/conservatives-are-furious-that-american-horror-story-is-portraying-trump-fans-as-a-violent-cult/

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      So it’s a documentary?

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Sounds pretty accurate so I don’t know what the big deal is.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      I was just reading that. I don’t give 2 shits about the complainers, but I’m kinda surprised with AHS – also, it doesn’t sound like a very good season and I’m a fan of teh show.

    • TJ Barke

      I fail to see the inaccuracy… Trump supporters are either stupid, or terrible or both.

    • jesterpunk
      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        Stolen.

  • mancityRed6

    so, it’s not that I’m lazy and don’t shave. it’s the start of my fall/winter beard.
    I have only good hopes that I can outlast my last winter’s beard duration.
    also, target doesn’t sell fingernail brushes that I can find online, and so, not in stores. there is nothing better to scrub one’s hairy face than with a small brush.
    I need to find one, ASAP.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      CVS. Although CVS now runs Target pharmacies so you’d think they’d be betterer stocked at Target now.

  • Wolf Tracker
    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Listen, Republicans and other possibly multicellular life forms, Donald is PLAYING YOU. It’s what he does.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I’m extremely skeptical of siding with Trump on anything. He has an astonishing capacity to corrupt and soil everything and anyone he touches.

        • Three Finger Salute

          The reverse Midas touch.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        And Nancy and Chuck played Donnie and fucked you asshats over also too. Ryan can’t control the crazies, and everybody hates McTurtle.

        • Raan

          And the Zodiac Killer.

          • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

            Ted Cruz doesn’t see what you did there.

        • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

          i’m still not so sure – I’ll believe it when it’s signed.

          • Résistance Land Shark Ω

            Trust, but verify. Show me the bill.

            But interesting that Donnie did that and shrugged off Ryan and McTurtle.

          • Wolf Tracker

            Freedom Kochus will try to block it somehow and depends where fuckface Ryan stands.

          • Panika MCD

            you keep misspelling that. it’s Freedumb Cacas.

      • Three Finger Salute

        D-minus chess.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Say what you will about 2017, it’s full of wacky surprises
    https://twitter.com/FranceWorldProb/status/905585617316192256

    • Chocolate? Where?

    • Moebym of the Returners

      They should make neapolitan ice cream out of regular brown chocolate, ruby chocolate, and white chocolate.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        I like the way you think!

      • And then chocolate sprinkles?

        • Moebym of the Returners

          Duh.

          • We must remember that chocolate is poisonous and there is a fatal dose for humans.

          • Moebym of the Returners

            Nonsense. There’s no such thing as too much chocolate. :p

  • Oh FSM, what has Nutsack Nunes done now?

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • TJ Barke

      It’s how far light travels in a year, fucknuts! It’s a speed, which is a measure of distance over time! This is like 3rd grade math!

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        Attempting to use reason on someone who believes that Noah built an ark and then had all the beasts of the earth board it two by two is, I fear, a fruitless exercise, TJ.

        • TJ Barke

          Can I beat the stupid out of him!?

          • Bub, the cynical zombie

            You can try.

          • Arolpin

            But then you would be left with a pile of bruised stupid and an empty Ken Ham suit.

        • Rasilom

          Funny thing about that ark story. It shows up about 1k years before the old testament version in the story of Gilgamesh.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Rachel is awesome.

    • jesterpunk

      … we need to realize it is not a measure of time but a measure of distance, telling us how far away something is. Distant stars and galaxies might be millions of light-years away, but that doesn’t mean that it took millions of years for the light to get here, it just means it is really far away!

      That is exactly what it means..

      • SayItWithWookies

        Hey, if The LORD could create something out of nothing, he could definitely create light that had been coming from distant galaxies for millions — or billions — of years and put it wherever we’d find it from any vantage point as though the universe were around 13.6 billion years old. Why in particular a deity that loves people would intentionally deceive them is “part of the mystery” — which is Swahili for “stop asking questions and put some money in the plate.”

        • Rasilom

          Dosnt really matter in a closed system. If the universe was only created 6000 years ago, but the internal age of the system was set to 14.5 billion years old, to all of us in the closed systen (the Universe) it is 14.5 billion years old. Seriously, if the science telling us the age and size of the Universe is wrong then all of our science is wrong and how the hell would any of our tech more advanced than a donkey cart work?

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Young-Earth creationists like to pretend that the speed of light in a vacuum can be variable. God has this big control panel thing in his office, you see…

      • yyyaz

        And when he is really drunk he fucks with the knobs and makes wormholes, naked singularities, quasars for disco light and makes ALL the angels dance on the tip of his dick.

  • Joe Beese

    The ‘Ivanka drop-by’: Trump’s not-so-secret meeting trick

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/09/06/politics/ivanka-trump-drop-by-oval-office/index.html

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      So, CNN is only now figuring out that ploy?

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Just fucking stonewall her like she’s not there. It will become awkward and she’ll cry and leave.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      He’s a disrespectful asshole who doesn’t even pretend to value other people’s time. Anyone who had their kid drop by, or put them on speaker, during a meeting with me would be meeting with me at their office for the last time. This is his troglodyte Gordon Gekko-wannabe way of asserting his “dominance” — by wasting other people’s fucking time.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i hadn’t thought of that – but dear god do I hate that shit. Wasting people’s time and asserting dominance.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          Everything he does boils down to some bullshit idea of asserting his “dominance.”

  • Alexander Stallwitz
  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos
  • Jennifer R

    This is still a stunningly awful take, even two cherry sprite and vodkas later. And the weed. GDI all to hell.

  • Panika MCD

    other items you probably should not give to pet shelters:

    Meow Mix wet food or cat/dog wet food pouches. these things can be super convenient at home, but both storing them and using them in a pet shelter environment is a huge pain in the ass.

    items for pets the shelter does not take. APA! got a bunch of stuff for rabbits…they have no facilities for rabbits. (but Texas Wildlife Rescue is taking that stuff.)

    Bic lighters. (really?)

    ceramic bowls. they have hundreds of animals and these are likely to get broken. (we gave them to the APA! thrift store.) metal bowls are preferred because they are sturdy and easy to sanitize.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Someone donated lighters? Really? Are the lighters for the doggie blunts all the cool pups are smoking?

      SMH

      • Panika MCD

        maybe someone doesn’t understand how cat nip works.

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          LOL … thanks for that laugh! Much needed!

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          Like kitty kokaine?

      • Raan

        They’re for dog heroin.

  • Major_Major_Major

    Strangely, Fox makes no mention of SCROTUS’ deal with Nancy & Chuck but did have this little gem. http://www.foxnews.com/us/2017/09/06/conservatives-sign-letter-warning-media-against-southern-poverty-law-center.html
    Journaminamilsm at its finest. ‘Merka!!!1!1!!22!!eleven

  • Wolf Tracker

    Nunes now threatening to haul Sessions and the FBI in for contempt of congress.

    “Nunes, who despite stepping aside from directing the House Russia investigation has been leading his own separate investigation, accused Sessions and the FBI of stonewalling him repeatedly in a September 1 letter obtained by CNN. In the letter, he threatened to drag Sessions and FBI Director Christopher Wray before the committee for a public grilling and hold them in contempt of Congress — a jailable offense — if they don’t hand over the documents.”

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/09/05/politics/house-intelligence-committee-subpoena-fbi-justice/index.html

    Hey Nunes- know what is a jailble offense?

    Threatening officials with the intent of interfering in an investigation.

    • yyyaz

      I am soooo looking forward to Nunes’ booking shots being released.

      • Raan

        What the odds on him being all smiles like DeLay?

    • Raan

      I believe the technical term is “obstruction of justice”.

      • Wolf Tracker

        Ding ding ding.

        • Raan

          How many tickets do I need to get a new administration?

          • Wolf Tracker

            10 gets you a Kewpie doll of Trump you can kick round or let your dog chew up.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Good luck with that, asshat.

    • BillEGoatSmirk

      On the same topic, (although the article below starts off talking about how the Trump spawn is having a chat with the Senate Judiciary Committee tomorrow):

      “Rep. Adam Schiff, the top Democrat on the Intelligence Committee, said Tuesday evening on MSNBC that the subpoenas were issued over the objections of Democrats. Schiff said Republicans are working harder to discredit those who compiled the dossier than to find out if the allegations in it are true. He said Republicans should be more focused on getting documents from the White House.”

      http://www.bostonglobe.com/news/politics/2017/09/06/donald-trump-speak-privately-thursday-senate-staff/c97f2ueOr7ij3kJMncd5GP/story.html

      • Wolf Tracker

        Nunes ws supposed to be recused from the investigation and is under investigation so he is just digging himself a deep hole.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    According to Prime Minister Gaston Browne of Antigua and Barbuda, 90 percent of all structures on Barbuda have been destroyed.

    • Well, fuck

    • Joe Beese

      And I only just found out there was such a place.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Yeah, there was…

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          200 MPH winds for several HOURS will do that …

    • natoslug
      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        “Hey little buddy, when we get back to Omaha, have I got a surprise for you!”

        • natoslug

          Ew. LOL. Ew.

    • Wolf Tracker

      In case someone (like me) wants to know more about Barbuda.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbuda

    • natoslug

      Fortunately, this has been a wake-up call for even the most pig-headed orange heads of state, and the world is now united in fighting global climate ch . . . nope, not even Marma-Lograt being destroyed and his Virginia vineyard being underwater would convince the Tangerine Shitgibbon In Chief that anthropogenic climate change is real.

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        North Korea is ahead of us on this issue. Thanks, Trump!

    • Panika MCD

      please tell me they are still a protectorate…

    • JohnBull

      Sounds like fake news to me. Obviously Antigua and Barbuda were two of Obama’s illegitimate children.

      • Three Finger Salute

        What about Bermuda, Bahama, and Come-On Pretty Mama?

    • Rick Hill

      Just read this, Prime Minister of Antigua says all survived but it appears to have been posted this morning.
      http://www.trinidadexpress.com/20170906/news/antiguabarbuda-escape-destruction

  • mackafritz
    • Joe Beese

      “Not good. Believe me, not good.”

      • Joe Beese

        Why wouldn’t we believe you, Mr. President? Aren’t you trustworthy?

      • thixotropic jerk

        “Double-plus ungood”

    • natoslug

      Really, when’s the last time you saw “Grab ’em by the pussy” in Dick and Jane? And quoting from “Dickin’ Jane” does not count.

      • Panika MCD

        “Dick and Jane Play Behind the Video Store”

    • Everrett Fanuelli
    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Too bad George Carlin isn’t with us now.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Still blocked by Blow. Fuck him.

  • Raan

    So, time for a Wonkette Extremely Unscientific Straw Poll! Tonight’s question: Is snitching hip-hop?

    • Panika MCD

      I’m not hip.

      • Nasty Woman Persisted

        I don’t hop.

        • Jamoche

          “Faith, hop, and charity, and the greatest of these is hop.”

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            STOP You must not hop on Pop.

          • AJ Milne

            Hopeless, hapless, and hopless in Hoboken. Or why you shouldn’t order the IPA in NJ.

          • Left Coast Tom

            Hops are important.

          • Three Finger Salute

            The Audacity of a New Hop. Wasn’t that Justin and Barry’s favorite Star Wars film?

          • Left Coast Tom

            California has a “Hope Valley”, so named from the following entry in the Mormon Battalion journal: “Moved across about one mile and a half and camped at the head of what we called Hope Valley, as we began to have hope.”.

            Nearby, there was a Charity Valley.

            Another nearby valley was named “Faith Valley”, to complete 1st Cor. 13:13.

      • natoslug

        Not even tragically?

      • proudgrampa

        In my condition, I can’t even hop.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        I was, once. Then I took an arrow to the knee.

        • AJ Milne

          My cousin’s out hopping hips. And what do _I_ get? Snitch duty.

    • Joe Beese

      Does “snitching” have a different meaning than the one I’m thinking of?

      • Raan

        Nope.

        • Joe Beese

          I see.

          Inasmuch as “hip hop” can be construed as a value judgment, it is one of praise. And snitching is generally considered treacherous.

          So, no: Not hip hop.

          • eggs ackly-wright

            Snitch one, pearl two.

    • TJ Barke
      • Joe Beese

        The idea that black people consider white police a worse enemy than black killers of black people makes me unspeakably sad.

    • Jonny On Maui

      I have no idea what that question is asking. Pardon me, I have a cloud to yell at…

    • Courser_Resistance

      I’m an oldz and don’t know what that is.

      • natoslug

        Stitches? Or the hippity hoppities?

        • eggs ackly-wright

          Sneetches are a variety of snipe. The hippety-hoppers are where they keep the grain to fill the pyramids.

        • Courser_Resistance

          Eh, the hippity hoppities are just beat poets that are more in-your-face with more cusses. Stitches are the critters that always steal just ONE sock of a pair out of the dryer.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      yes

      and no

    • natoslug

      Are they Star-Bellied Sneetches or regular Sneetches? I could totally see Star-Bellied Sneetches getting into hip-hop.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Does that mean black people are the real racists?

        • natoslug

          YOU CAN’T MAKE ME RE-READ THAT BOOK!!11!!!11!!!
          .
          .
          .
          (which might be a secret code for me not remembering what it was about, but damn, it was about racism, wasn’t it?)

      • eggs ackly-wright

        Mos def.

      • bookish

        I love that book.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          It taught me everything I know about Zax.

    • I don’t understand the question and i won’t respond to it

      • TJ Barke

        I don’t care for GOB…

        • eggs ackly-wright

          Bluth?

    • Wolf Tracker

      Snitches get stitches.

      • natoslug

        Any of them in time?

    • Rick Hill

      I don’t stitch and I don’t Lilo, either.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      I am too old and white to answer this question.

      • Persistent Demme

        Me too.

    • snitches get stitches but chicks dig scars so…..
      Purple.

  • Moebym of the Returners

    Attorneys General of fifteen states and D.C. are suing the Trump Admin. over DACA.

    https://twitter.com/DemocraticAGs/status/905530806424174594

    • Wolf Tracker

      So now we have lawsuits on both sides.

      Wonder if that motivated Trump on the debt ceiling and a clean DACA bill today?

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        gonna end up at SCOUTUS.

        • Wolf Tracker

          Only if congress can’t get a bill passed in 6 months.

          We will see!

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    So Pizza Ranch is the REAL SEX DEN?

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Pizza Slut libel.

  • Bananas Foster

    This woman is a great argument for legal recreational marijuana.

    If she lived in a state that had it, she wouldn’t have smoked whatever dubious crap it was that fucked her shit up.

    • Courser_Resistance

      We got the good stuff in CO

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        Cousin Itt’s not here, man.

      • Bananas Foster

        As we do in Oregon.

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          Is that why there’s so much smoke up there?

        • Persistent Demme

          California checking in.

          Actually, I can’t handle it. The last time I had some, I ended up in the E.R. It lowers my blood pressure too much. I fainted, and had to have stitches on the inside of my lip.
          Whatever.
          Wonderful, beefy, firefighters, (with biceps-a-bulging), carried me in a wheelchair down 4 flights of stairs.

      • bbayliss

        No POO McGoo,
        wife just back from burning man, made a stop in Denver. hoooooooo boy.

        • Courser_Resistance

          Lucky you!

    • thixotropic jerk

      Liz Crokin what ya be smokin?
      Ta dream up that chicken-chokin
      with Sasse & Hastert you broken
      down clown with a frown
      sit the hell down ‘n get outta town
      nobody believes your shit is brown
      cause its gold as in comedy
      or maybe its a dramadey
      either way you comittin sodomy
      on our minds so no thanks
      crawl back away from me cranks
      mind the shanks yo shit still stanks!

    • Three Finger Salute

      Unless she’s already mentally ill (which it sounds like she is), and marijuana would only make the preexisting delusional disorder worse. 100% of these conspiracy lunatics need serious professional help. Thanks Reagan.

  • Count Awesome

    It sure sound a lot like the Omaha chapter of “Super Adventure Club”.

  • Decided to make hot chocolate and have some of my chai chocolate chip cookies. This was a good idea

  • bookish

    Humanity Road. Hurricane Irma situation report (#1), September 6.

    https://www.humanityroad.org/situation-reports/caribbean/hurricane-irma

    • Joe Beese

      20% of Puerto Rico’s power is already out.

      No power, no water.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        How many billions of relief ameros we will lavish upon PR?

        • Joe Beese

          I hope there’s an aircraft carrier near enough to supply some power if the whole grid goes down.

          • Bub, the cynical zombie

            I saw one estimate that they could lose electricity for six MONTHS!

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            That answers my question.

        • suziq

          Well, not Real America and they can’t vote so…

      • OutOfOrbit

        “That’s too bad.”

        –tRump

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          “Isn’t Puerto Rico part of Cuba?”

          — tRump

      • thixotropic jerk

        But but but– Rush says FAKE/CONS-PIRACY so—?

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Seems like the national interest would be served by requiring him to disclose the names of all members of his clubs.

      • all those ovs and skis are erm…ex pats. Surely.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        The national interest would be served by putting him in a goddamn bottle and sending him out on the Japanese current. (Credit to HST for the sentiment)