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Oh, hey there, Wonketariat! We’re already churning out newses, and here’s some of the things we may be talking about today

Trump has to decide if he’ll kill the dreams of Not American kids and overturn DACA, or tweet Texans into a YUGE lawsuit.

Congressional committees are trying to snipe each other on their respective Trump-Russia investigations, and they’re cranking things up to 11 this fall.

Congressional Republicans are worried about a debt showdown (again) as some Trump officials try to tie Harvey aid and the Tortilla Curtain to the federal budget.

Hypocritical Texas Republicans are sheepishly walking to Capitol Hill with their hats out begging for spare change like a regular Democrat with the hope that they’ll receive federal aid to rebuild Houston. Maybe they’ll learn a lesson in humility and civics? Just kidding.

OF COURSE Trump installed a campaign lackey in the EPA to dole out grants. How else are we supposed to explain all those karma-induced, Jesus-driven hurricanes? Climate change?

Congressional wingnuts want Trump to rescind his endorsement of Sen. Luther Strange so that the Breitbart crazies can go balls deep into Roy Moore.

A new study is warning Democrats to stop caring about the poors and back away from the Berners after finding that “handouts” like “free college or universal basic income just exacerbate [middle class] resentment” of Democrats. BRB, gotta go get ready for my third job, it pays off my student loans.

After ICE arrested a US citizen, he spent over 1,200 days in jail waiting for US officials to realize their fuck up only for an appellate court judge to dismiss the case without damages.

St. Louis is bracing for violent protests as the city waits for a verdict in the case of a cop who shot a man point-blank and ALLEGEDLY planted a gun. Don’t worry though, cops kill people in St. Louis all the time.

Germany has gone to war on Russian propaganda campaigns, beefing up fact-checks in newspapers, and educating the average blue-collar Otto Normalverbraucher on basic cyber security.

Melting Arctic ice has created a new oil rush between the US, Russia and China, and the US is losing like a bunch of losers since B. Barry Bamz tried to wean us off fossil fuels.

Canada’s been smuggling in gay Chechens through a super secret underground GAY railroad, and brainwashing them with poutine, free health care, and Tim Horton’s.

ICYMI: Computer nerds were warning federal and state officials about Russian hacking long before anyone caught on, but everyone ignored them because nerds are gross.

Nikki Haley says North Korea is “begging for war” and is asking the UN to cut off oil imports after the hermit kingdom set what sure as hell seems like a hydrogen

Hillary Clinton is throwing some shade at Bernie Sanders for spending the 2016 campaign acting like kind of a dick, and bitching about revolutions.

Spicey landed a new gig where he’ll lie to super rich people about how to be a successful liar in Washington. He apparently has “extensive experience.”

Obama TRIED to give Trump some advice but Trump probably misinterpreted the part about preserving “democratic institutions and traditions” as a hippy liberal “big-D” Democrat thing.

And here’s your morning Nice Time! Condors! They make great mommies!

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  • Sheepshagger
    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      It boggles the imagination that these people think they’re oppressed. Then again, “thinking” is not their strong suit, so . . .

    • Nounverb911

      Is that why Ivanka is moving her shoe factory from China to Ethiopia?

    • Lance Thrustwell

      But, but… they’ve already been forgotten! You just said so! Don’t you remember?

    • Msgr_MΩment
    • FlownΩver

      How ’bout that law that says you can’t take a taxpayer-funded Air Farce One trip to Missouri to slag Claire McCaskill? HENGH?

      Two Scoops is looking to challenge SMOTI in the “Pay up, deadbeat!” category.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    “Ivanka wanted me to keep Obama’s illegle DACA rule. But she doesn’t know as much about Law & Order as me.” #DeletedTrumpTweets

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Breitbart crazies can go balls deep into Roy Moore.

    People are were eating breakfast Dominic!

  • dslindc

    Ew, Monday . . . on Tuesday.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      IKR? I had a confuse yesterday all day long. At least I remembered to put the garbage out last night, as I already hear the garbage trucks running.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Good morning, Wonkettariat! I hope everyone had a non-productive Labor Day. I’m celebrating today with a lovely group of women friends; we’re starting a book club, having lunch together, and then going on to our weekly quilt club. (Then I have to go to work, but hey, at least the first half of the day will be bigly.)

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      I’m having a friend over for lunch and a good walk in the park.

  • Nounverb911
  • Panika MCD

    turns out that while Mattress Mack is great in times of crisis, he funds Freedumbies like Dan Patrick and Ted Cruz when the campaigns are milling about his show rooms looking for donations. here are a couple of reasons Texans love them some HEB (especially those of us who are bleeding heart liberals):

    a profile from July 13 focused mostly on two of his Raise Your Hand Texas initiatives.
    https://www.dallasnews.com/opinion/commentary/2017/07/13/billionaires-like-texas-grocery-magnate-charles-butt

    and this thing about just the first five days of Harvey response.
    http://food.blog.austin360.com/2017/08/30/texans-always-love-h-e-b-but-especially-after-hurricane-harvey/

  • Nounverb911
    • Amy!

      A shower head filled with warm caramel?

  • dslindc

    Speaking of new gigs:

    And I love the New York Tiems. Much better than the failing New York Times!
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bd717b1c22174ea0fe36ec867dd967ac533b10ac3c351f7f5a1572faab0ce051.png

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      FFS, What is it with these people and their fucking typos?

      • Walter Wellstone

        They’re not typos in his native Hungarian.

        • Rags

          His hovercraft is full of bullshit

          • Marion in Savannah

            I thought it was full of eel poop.

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        Yeah. It’s spelled PREDISENT!

      • Dudleydidwrong

        It’s not a typo. “Tiempo” means “weather” in Spanish. It can also mean “time.” This is a coded message to the Mexican mafia to begin the takeover of Texas by the Mexican Weather Underground. The shit will really hit the fan now; the Weather Underground will rise up from the Walmart basement tunnels and make Tejas free again!

        My tinfoil hat may be on backward after the holiday.

        • grindstone

          It….it all makes sense now! Thank you, citizen!

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      “to the 45th President … ”

      They dare not speak his name.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        If you say it three times he appears and holds an election rally in your constituency.

    • JohnBull

      Interesting how the right hates the elites on college campuses, with their six-month vacations and their $45,000 annual salaries, but never fails to prop up their own ivory tower assholes who shouldn’t be within 500 feet of a school, let alone teaching in one.

    • PubOption

      Either the job or the war is at THREAT KNOWLEDGE, but, from that announcement, I’m not sure which it is.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        “THREAT KNOWLEDGE GROUP” sounds like the kind of thing that appears in the script for an Austin Powers movie.

        • Yeah baby!

        • bupkus231

          From Feb:

          Link: http://talkingpointsmemo.com/dc/sebastian-gorka-washington-experts-dc-anti-islam-ties

          Gorka’s resume details a long list of short-term professorships and work for small conservative think tanks, several of which he founded with his wife, Katharine, a national security analyst who served on Trump’s Department of Homeland Security landing team. The people TPM spoke with who work on counterterrorism issues said they weren’t familiar with those Gorka-founded organizations, including Threat Knowledge Group, a consulting firm that claimed to provide strategic advice to the FBI, Army and Office of the Director of National Intelligence.

          Threat Knowledge Group’s website, like Gorka’s own, has been taken offline since he joined the administration in late January.

          So, the “organization” announcing Gorka’s employment is his OWN. Just more self-aggrandizing bullshit….

  • Nounverb911
  • JMP

    There’s nothing wrong with asking for aid for Texas following a hurricane after voting against the same for the Northeast after Sandy; remember, these are Republicans, they don’t consider hypocrisy to be a vice, they don’t give one shit about nakedly contradicting themselves because they have no sense of morality and thing it’s fine to have completely different standards for themselves and those they consider the enemy.

    • Nounverb911

      Don’t forget Texas’s $10B rainy day fund they won’t touch….

      • PubOption

        Hey, that fund is for a rainy day, not a very rainy week.

    • Walter Wellstone

      You got that right. Republicans are the archetypal douchebags who will nakedly try to steal your wallet and when turn around and look at them they go “Hey, I was just tryin’; it didn’t work out; let’s just move on. It ain’t personal.”

    • Darlene Underdahl

      But, how did we end up with SO MANY? That old time religion? Hypocrisy was always common in fundamentalist circles.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      WAIT WAIT! They want money? I already sent thoughts and prayers. If that’s enough for victims of mass shootings, it sure as hell should be enough for people who got a rained on.

      • Courser_Resistance

        I’m a stone cold bitch. They aren’t getting a dime from me. They don’t believe in climate change so it must be divine punishment for Texan’s evil ways.

  • armed_bears

    The success of Trump’s policies requires only one thing: complete rational disassociation in the minds his followers. “Good for me? Good for country? Don’t want any.”:

    • Left Coast Tom

      The success of Trump’s policies requires only one thing: complete rational disassociation in the minds his followers.

      That, and actually having some “policies”.

  • Nounverb911
    • Walter Wellstone

      Shit, I hope so.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Me? I’d rather not have him moaning about how his property was damaged and how we need to send moniez.

        • Rags

          Press should ask him if he’d rather have thoughts and prayers for maralago repairs or dollarz.

        • bupkus231

          Considering how he scammed his insurance company out of $17M for repairs ( when the damage was more like $3000 ) back in 2005, one wonders if any insurance co. would insure him anymore.

          Sure be nice to see him be unable to pay for repairs out of his own pocket….

      • Gayer Than Thou

        My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    • laughingnome

      This would be the schadenfreudiest schaden that ever freuded.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        No schaden here.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Pardoning all the dreamers like he pardon’ed that fucktard Sheriff?

    • PubOption

      Irma la douce?

      • Darlene Underdahl

        She’s going to be a big one.

  • SomeBigRedDog

    The best thing about Monday’s off is that I get to start my work week with Taco Tuesday!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Breakfast tacos? Man I love those.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        Breakfast tacos, brunch tacos, lunch tacos, teatime tacos, dinner tacos… it’s all wonderful.

    • weejee

      Got to spend my Monday tearing-off cedar shakes and sheathing the garage with SOB er OSB.

      • Courser_Resistance

        I think it’d probably be more fund to sheath the garage in SOBs. Afterwards you can shoot paintballs at them.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))
  • Marion in Savannah

    Anyapa gave me happiez.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to …
    Oh, NVM.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Didn’t the Statue of Liberty come from France? How long before she gets deported?

  • Ghenghis McCann

    After ICE arrested a US citizen, he spent over 1,200 days in jail waiting for US officials to realize their fuck up only for an appellate court judge to dismiss the case without damages.

    I remember the good old days, when Franz Kafka was in the fiction section of the library.

    • Maggielle

      He has a Go Fund Me which is currently at zero. I can;t this month, but if any of y’all are so inclined…
      https://www.gofundme.com/justiceforwatson

      I should forward this information to Susan Sarandon and give her a chance to begin redemption.

      • Snopes Shop

        Donated and sending to sarandontrump, thanks

  • Nounverb911

    Sums up donnie in under 140 characters…

    https://twitter.com/shannonrwatts/status/904767789948211200

  • Nounverb911
    • weejee

      Anchor babby.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      She is getting a little longish in the tooths. Time for a newer model.

  • II Gosala

    This explains a lot.

    Donald Trump is no saint, but I know why evangelicals love him

    https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/sep/05/donald-trump-why-do-evangelicals-support-him?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Copy_to_clipboard

    TL;DNR: Evangelicals, some of them, value being persecuted as a sign of being saved. Actually getting anything done is beside the point.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      If anything good comes out of Trump and his Glorious Regime, it is exposing finally for all to see that the Evangelical Right are total frauds. I know, I know. No one will notice or care.

    • Steve Cole

      Shunning bible thumpers at work is not really on the same persecution level as “feeding the lions”.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Ugh… The Eagle Creek fire that a couple days that trapped 150 day hikers overnight (all out OK) has exploded. The fire pushed 12 miles westward, in the direction of Portland, triggering evacs of several small communities and evac warnings for other bigger ones along the way. 40 miles of interstate freeway are closed. Ash was falling in Portland last night, 45 miles away. (Cute itty bitty summer snowflakes trickling down.) In at least one spot the fire jumped the Columbia river into Washington.

    Cause: Two teens setting off fireworks in the woods…

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Holy Crap. Are you in harms way?

      • Beanz&Berryz

        No. Not at all… But several small outlying rural communities are at risk… and wonderous natural areas along the way…

    • Khavrinen

      Ash still falling at this moment. Parked cars look like gray-er versions of powdered donuts. The whole sky is a grayish orange haze. And it’s still supposed to be in the mid-90s this afternoon.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Someone tell His Fraudulency that he is not obligated to cram two days of cruelty into one to make up for the holiday.

    • Left Coast Tom

      It’s a short week anyway, he should just stay at his golf course.

  • Nounverb911
    • Lance Thrustwell

      Who the hell painted that?

    • Wild Cat

      I put all the blame on Dead Jesus and His Lunatics . . . or was that Teenage Jesus and the Jerks?

      • Lance Thrustwell

        I think they toured together in 2016.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Invisible horns.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      hands are too big (trump’s; jesus has well-known big hands suitable for holding the whole world in)

    • Mr. Blobfish

      That left hand looks more like a flipper.

    • BadKitty904

      Anyone who thinks Jesus of Nazareth has ANYthing to do with the Traitor-in-Chief has obviously never read the Gospels.

      Perhaps Ghost Jesus is trying to stop the AntiChrist from committing one of his daily cruelties…

    • JohnBull

      This–this right here–is why Christianity is dying in America.

    • Querolous
  • SayItWithWookies

    What are the odds that (hypothetically, I hope) in two consecutive disaster relief votes, Sen. Cruz and Cornyn will say aye to unconditional funding for Harvey recovery and get all offset-happy if Irma recovery needs to happen?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Depends on the location of landfall.

    • BadKitty904

      Even “funnier” is the thought of Abbot and Scott in DC, with their hands out, trying to score some of that $weet, $weet federal ca$h (i.e., OUR tax dollars), to siphon to their “disaster relief” campaign “donors”…

      • Nounverb911

        Is that a new comedy team? Abbott and Scott.
        Who’s on first?

        • BadKitty904

          The 1%.

          • SayItWithWookies

            Wait, I thought they were born on third.

          • Permit-holder Ron

            I don’t give a darn!

    • Panika MCD

      Cruz will probably find a reason to oppose Irma funding. Cornyn probably won’t because a) probably learned his lesson and b) is majority whip so will have to support it whether he likes it or not–but will stick a sunset provision on Irma funding, but not Harvey funding.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    With Hurricane Irma bearing down on us, Calamity Don and Disaster Barbie are gonna get to flex their empathy muscles quite a bit in the coming weeks.

    • BadKitty904

      Only if it interferes with his golf.

      • Darlene Underdahl

        Yeah, if they keep him from golfing much longer he’ll have a psychotic break.

        • BadKitty904

          How would we tell?

          • Permit-holder Ron

            He’ll start telling the truth?

          • BadKitty904

            Unpossible!

    • Jeffery Campbell

      If only we could direct Irma straight to (and only to) Mar-a-Lago.

  • BadKitty904

    Iwanka, Uday, and Ixnay are all children of an immigrant. Deport them.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      And Baron is probably the son of an illegal one.

      • BadKitty904

        Who knows?

        • Msgr_MΩment

          If only there were a long-form visa application…

  • beingreleased

    Trump should be glad that a dreamer drowned while rescuing people in Houston. One less criminal to deport.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Given that these people need cruelty like normals need oxygen, I’m guessing they’re disappointed. Don’t worry, though, they got to keep his mom from entering the country for his funeral, so that was a nice little fix for them.

      • Fun with Cthulhu

        A perfect example of The New Cruelty (R).

  • Msgr_MΩment
    • laughingnome

      She spent vacations at Sandals.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        And named her cat Socks.

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          Paid off the mortgage, and became the sole owner.

          • Phoenixdoglover

            You have to tread lightly on this thread.

          • House0fTheBlueLights

            and she can still let to boarders or relatives.

            :|

        • Phoenixdoglover

          And her little dog, Boots.

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        While she sent the kids to boot camp.

    • Querolous

      If I were to add to this thread would I be a heel?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Bite your tongue.

        • Querolous

          Aglet of good that would do!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Hurricane Irma now weighs a 5 on the Schindler List.
    -Donald J. Trump

  • Nounverb911
    • BadKitty904

      I can’t imagine he cares any more for her than he does for any of the rest of his family. And she obviously loathes him.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Are you kidding? She’s getting long in the tooth, he’d love to trade her in for a newer model.

    • TundraGrifter

      But first is the promised press conference where her coming to America will be fully disclosed and discussed. There will be no math.

  • PubOption

    What was that about a condor?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1E0nEe8RxM

  • Timothy Watson

    A very serious reporter for The Washington Post:
    “The Daily 202: DACA decision highlights chasm between Trump’s compassionate rhetoric and reality”

    There are not enough facepalms in this space-time continuum to respond.

    • P’jama Pahnts

      I must’ve missed the compassionate rhetoric

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Oh he spoke compassionately on the topic but as we all know he lied because his lips were moving.

      • Salesliar b.s….

        Something about “heart” (Evangelical code word)

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        I know I did, miss it.

    • spangled
    • NastyBossetti

      Is there an alternate meaning for “compassion” that I’ve never heard?

    • Phoenixdoglover

      It is a very long recitation, with numerous examples, which can be summed up as, “Trump is a liar and a bullshitter.”

    • Erala Contratista

      Must have slept through any compassionate stuff.
      Maybe was in the bathroom.

  • Nounverb911
    • P’jama Pahnts

      Who in the world way pay to sit in an audience and get yelled at?

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Sorry, Smiling Spicer – I’m not ready for your image rehab. You are still one of them, even if you quit or got You’re Fired. Don’t smile at me.

      • BadKitty904

        No less guilty than Goebbels or Hess.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Can we just stop with the euphemisms? “Paid speaking circuit” = “grift coming his way for not spilling on Trump’s secrets”.

  • BadKitty904
  • Gayer Than Thou

    Little known fact: Micky and Minnie Mouse were originally condors, but they didn’t test well with children.

    • BadKitty904

      I did not know that.

  • Nounverb911
    • ariel_gee_398

      And former first lady, who therefore has lifetime Secret Service protection. Good luck with that plan, bro.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Isn’t that what he wants? Secret Service shoot a nutjob who jumps at Hillary. Shkreli goes ‘See I told you the Clintons kill people.’

        • bupkus231

          THAT’S more likely than he has DNA “sequences” from somewhere….

    • JohnBull

      Wait. He’s willing to give someone ELSE money at an inflated price?

      • Permit-holder Ron

        Maybe he has a Foundation.

        • Erala Contratista

          Definitely a cunning plan.

    • What does having a hair sample prove anyway?

      That HC is HC, or a replicant?

      • Nockular cavity

        …or a lesbian?

        • Old town Urbandale

          Or a man?

          • Marion in Savannah

            Nah — that’s Michelle Obama.

        • Sorry, lesbian replicant.

          • Nockular cavity

            Now that just confuses the test.

        • therblig

          how can it not know what it is?

      • bupkus231

        DNA testing. He claims to have “sequences” – which is another way of saying he has bullshit.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      It’s almost as if the nonstop flood of whining from Republican-friendly media because she reported abuse has convinced the abusers among us she’s a safe target.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      He is going to clone an army of Hilbots to take over the world!. Evil laughing!

  • A new study is warning Democrats to stop caring about the poors and back away from the Berners after finding that “handouts” like “free college or universal basic income just exacerbate [middle class] resentment” of Democrats.

    Yeah… because as a middle class white voter, I keep saying, “I wish I had less of a choice between the two parties when I vote.”

  • some Trump officials try to tie Harvey aid and the Tortilla Curtain to the federal budget

    Corn or flour?
    http://m.quickmeme.com/img/05/052c4f3c0d2592bdb8a814f69ae9a47241f4fc1e696f579141da877339f91702.jpg

    The Aunt Jemima Budget Act

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Germany has gone to war on Russian propaganda campaigns, beefing up fact-checks in newspapers, and educating the average blue-collar Otto Normalverbraucher on basic cyber security.

    Yeah we have been doing this for quite some months now but trust me, people who want to believe fake news are not deterred by fact checks.

    • Marion in Savannah

      But at least you’re TRYING. Here? Not so much.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Yeah what also doesn’t help is these self serving grifters called right wing politicians constantly spreading them and refusing to retract once debunked.

        • Marion in Savannah

          I had almost managed to forget about Geert Wilders…

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Our own herr Tweetler with funny hair never let’s us.

  • Andrew Rheinheimer

    Jeebus, I voted for Hillary after I voted for Bernie; could we stop jabbing at who brought more of my generation into politics? I could give a rat’s ass if he was a Democrat or not.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I suspect that at this point the fight is less about Hillary vs Bernie and more about the fact that Bernie leaped to tell Hillary voters that they don’t matter after the election, and people who purport to be his followers (although at least the ones in the media have Republicans signing their paychecks) have been somewhat abusive about endorsing that idea.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Is he helping or hurting the Democratic Party? I care a great deal about that.

      • Les Appentis De la résistance

        I think he’s been a net positive.

      • Andrew Rheinheimer

        I believe he is key to guiding the back to its grassroots. Hillary mentioned a few pre-party revision presidents, but I don’t believe she exactly follows in their proverbial footsteps.

        I voted for her out of necessity, not joy. I voted for a dream, then voted for reality; I doubt Sanders can be blamed for a candidate, no matter how good her credentials are, that was mired in controversy and half of the Republican dog whistles. She believes he added to her dubiousness, but I think he was the diminishing returns to what has been considered absolute fact by a large following of Faux News.

        I’m sure he would have been torn down just as easily, I won’t even reference Corbyn’s win to bolster it as I think America is just that terrible to not do as well as Britain did, and it was half a year prior so hindsight from across the pond may have helped.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Conundrum: is it a rules violation to say that I have some sympathy for those who want Trump to rescind his endorsement of Sen. Luther Strange so that the Breitbart crazies can go balls deep into Roy Moore?

    eta: with, I am advised, votes.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I think it’s OK if you add “with votes” at the end. At least, that’s how I read the rules.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Do Breitbart crazies vote, or is it more a notional thing?

        • Marion in Savannah

          Well, Trump is in the White House.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Well, yeah, but so much of their traffic is non-native and, shall we say, not carbon based.

          • Querolous

            But he did not get there with even half of the votes. Our system is irrational.

      • bupkus231

        Votes have balls?

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Balls deep into Roy Moore would be OK under the rules because it would be consensual

    • It’s counterintuitive. Breitbart crazies have no balls, which is why they are crazies.

      Q.E.D.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        And yet I am quite sure the taint is there.

  • Nounverb911
  • P’jama Pahnts

    Of course he’ll decide to overturn the DACA
    1. it’s cruel
    2. it’s economically stupid
    3. it’s Obama’s

    • BadKitty904

      Isn’t that the Republican Party platform?

    • bupkus231

      Of course he’ll decide to overturn the DACA
      1. it’s cruel
      2. it’s economically stupid
      3. it’s Obama’s

      [ That’s really all you have to know…. ]

  • alwayspunkindrublic
  • President in Exile Firefly

    So it’s gonna be that kind of week…

    • Permit-holder Ron

      When isn’t it?

  • Ilgattomorte

    Donald Trump is about to shape the dreams of millions of children, kind of like a Santa Claus, albeit a vicious, evil Santa Claus. Think Santa Claus as written by Stephen King.

    Heck, he’s even got his very own little elf making the DACA announcement. I’m sure it’ll be very festive.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    WHY WHY WHY do we keep using euphemisms for White? “Neglected voters” means WHITE voters. “Economic anxiety” means WHITE voters. “Middle class” means WHITE voters. Because all of these descriptors also apply to Black, Hispanic, and Asian voters, but somehow I don’t think that’s who they’re talking about.

    • Bobathonic

      Because it’s too soon to talk about race?

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        kill. me.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      If I had a nickle for every (upper-class, generally white, in most cases male) ‘pundit’ who’s announced that the working class has abandoned the Democrats…

      Which. No. They haven’t. Granted some of the more affluent than average white people who voted for him don’t have college degrees and are apparently terrified by italian preserved meats.

  • Nounverb911
    • Marion in Savannah

      Look at that smile — Grinch libelz.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg
    • Courser_Resistance

      Release the Pee Tape!!!!

    • Permit-holder Ron

      Oh, please, Mr Russian, don’t do that!
      That would be bad!

  • ariel_gee_398

    “Rocio Fuentes weighed up the cost of getting some new sofas for her new apartment in Pasadena, Texas, and decided the family budget could just about stretch to it. Just one month after moving in, Hurricane Harvey swept through and the Fuenteses were left not only with the ruined furniture but also an ongoing rental demand for a dwelling they had to flee.”

    Tenants can terminate a lease on written notice if the apartment becomes uninhabitable. But how many of them know that and have the wherewithal to do that right now?

    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/sep/04/hurricane-harvey-landlords-demand-rent-for-flooded-homes

    • Old town Urbandale

      They can kiss that damage deposit goodbye. Any landlord trying to hold a tenant to rent for an uninhabitable apartment is a Kushner scum.

  • Nounverb911
  • Mr. Blobfish

    Why DACA now? Did Bannon give trump a ring last week?

    • ariel_gee_398

      (Republican) State Attorneys General threatened to sue over it by the end of the week if he didn’t do something.

      • bupkus231

        Shoulda just let them sue. I hated how the media continually reported this as a “deadline” – when all it was was responding to an extortion threat.

        • ariel_gee_398

          It’s the Republican way – manufacture a crisis to avoid dealing with the ones that already exist.

    • Nounverb911
      • bupkus231

        The WH and Rump really dudn’t seem to understand what “first-hand” means. This cartoon is abso-fucking-lutely true.

        • puredog

          I’d call “first-hand” being in water up to your wattle, Donnie.

  • Nounverb911
    • P’jama Pahnts

      If your fans are constantly having to explain how not racist you are…

      • BadKitty904

        Remember all the apologists who were constantly reassuring us that Obama wasn’t a racist? Me, neither.

    • BadKitty904
    • spangled

      trump was in the presence of a black person for 30 seconds without dropping ANY racial slurs, so no way is he racist. checkmate liberals!

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Bravely facing the threat of not-white being contagious, the candidate…

    • Persistent Demme

      Says more about Bill Mitchell (whoever the hell he is), than anyone else.

  • Randy Riddle

    Can the Congressional hearings on Russia end in tears? I mean, specifically, Trey Gowdy’s tears? Lots of tears? Sobbing like a neo-Nazi shamed on the Internet tears?

    • Marion in Savannah

      ‘Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished.

    • Darlene Underdahl

      With flop sweat.

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    Spicer ‘has signed with Worldwide Speakers Group’. That’s not a job. Who the hell wants to hear his special insights, much less pay for them?

    • mackafritz

      A bunch of rich, right wing morons.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Worldwide Speakers Group? Is there any country outside the USA where people want to hear him speak?

    • rosenbomb

      The question is…can he make it through a whole speech without yelling?

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      It just occurred to me that he probably had to sign an NDA so what can he possibly say that has any value?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      There is no way he took that job and stayed in it as long as he did without some pretty explicit commitments to get paid serious money at the back end for keeping shit together until they could get their Justice/tax cuts/regulatory cuts.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    “Nikki Haley says North Korea is “begging for war” and is asking the UN to cut off oil imports after the hermit kingdom set what sure as hell seems like a hydrogen…”

    “A b-!”
    “No, not a buh, a bomb.”

    • BadKitty904

      I thought the Hermit Kingdom was Nepal.

      • Zippy49

        Not since China turned it into Dizzyland… place is full of Han military “watchers” in plain clothes.

      • therblig

        Hennery the 8th would disagree

    • puredog

      “It says ‘gub.'”

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I can picture the “deal” congressional Republicans would offer to save DACA: End taxes altogether for those making over $100,000 per year, privatize Social Security, build the Wall, burn all Planned Parenthood facilities, and make homosexuality a crime punishable by death.

    • Old town Urbandale

      You forgot “eliminate the Death Tax.”

      • DesertedPictures

        It’s not a tax on death, it’s a tax on recieving money!

    • ariel_gee_398

      You forgot “sell all the national parks and monuments to gas and oil companies for $1 each.”

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        “…except for the ones Trump claims through imminent domain for future golf resorts”.

    • Lefty Wright

      And another $200 billion for the military.

    • Roadstergal

      And then they’d kill DACA anyway.

      • Courser_Resistance

        This is why I don’t advocate caving to those dumbass demands. They’ll kill DACA anyway, one way or another.

    • VirginiaWackelpudding

      Ban the sale or distribution of all forms of birth control.

    • H0mer0

      Isn’t that their answer to everything?

      (“but that trick NEVER works”*
      “THIS time for SURE! PRESTO!…”)

      *RIP Rocky

  • Thiazin Red

    I remember back in elementary school reading about the program to save the CA condors, and I think there were something like 20 total left at the time. Its been a pretty great turn around for them.

  • Nounverb911
  • capnkrunch

    How certain are we that Luther Strange is not a comic book villain?

    • mackafritz

      Dr. Strange’s evil uncle?

      • Bozilingus

        #AddAWordCreateASupervillian
        Lex Luthor Strange

  • SnarkON

    We sure are getting the America we deserve.

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Courser_Resistance

      THIS ^^^ A huge problem in the hinterlands is that no one can pass a drug screen because of opiates. Besides, they all gave up and went on ‘disability’.

    • puredog

      Burma Shave.

  • DesertedPictures

    So…. what should the Democrats offer to save DACA? Tax cuts? Couple of billion dollars in Wall-funding?

    • VirginiaWackelpudding

      Implement option 25?

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Nothing. Trump is fucked with or without DACA. Let him stew.

      • DesertedPictures

        Not to be all high and mighty, but that doesn’t really help the dreamers.

        • Courser_Resistance

          It seems to be a ‘hell if you do, hell if you don’t’ situation. I fully support Dreamers, but I can’t agree to sell ourselves down the river by agreeing to fund the the Wall or other stupid funding shit.

          So I don’t know what the answer is.

        • Red Bird

          In the end it wiil. Don’t worry. No negotiations.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Relentless opposition. If they try to negotiate, all they’ll do is validate Republican craziness and then get screwed in the end. You can’t deal with someone who doesn’t understand good faith. You can only count on the fact that the Republican party knows it can’t afford to lose hispanic evangelicals.

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        Never negotiate with GOP terrorists.

    • bupkus231

      Wrong question.

      The whole idea of this Sept 5th “deadline” was that coalition of red state AGs were gonna sue to end it. We’ve already seen one blue state AG say he’ll sue to stop the cancellation of DACA – and that suit WILL go to court ( and likely have an injunction to prevent ending DACA until the suit is heard ).

      The threatened suit was all about whether or not the executive had the power to implement DACA, instead of the legislature ( of course, the only reason we have DACA is because Congress refused to act on immigration reform ), They believe they’ll win, becayse their previous suit against DAPA ( a different program, aimed at undocumented parents of citizen children ( i.e. the dreaded “anchor babies” ) ) and an extended version of DACA ( which WAS upheld in the decision that struck down DAPA )

      AIUI, DACA’s implementation is sufficiently different from the idea of DAPA ( which never got implemented, thanks to court-shopping ) that the coalition’s idea that their DACA suit is a “slam-dunk” is probably mistaken. A blue state suit to uphold DACA is likely to be assigned to a court other than the fuckwad South Texas court that ruled against DAPA – and even that court had to uphold part of DACA.

      So, I say to the Democrats – Don’t give the GOP anything. Let them try to wiggle out of the frying pan they pit on the heat for themselves. Bring suit, get the injunction – and crucify these assholes at the 2018 elections.

      Okay – I’m done with my fantasy now…..

      • Red Bird

        Exactly. No need to negotiate.

  • Nounverb911

    Located across the water from Mar-a-Lago…

    https://twitter.com/impeachdtnow/status/903372031890137088

    • BadKitty904

      Good.

  • BadKitty904

    The hubby asked an interesting question last night – “Has there been any U.S. official as deeply and justly hated as Trump in our lifetime?

    • bbayliss

      Has there been a human so universally reviled as trump?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Hitler? Oh, wait…you said “U.S. official”.

      • From Russia with Love

        No matter the question, Hitler is ALWAYS the answer.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Kissinger. People hated Kissinger.

      • bbayliss

        To be fair Kissinger did…
        never mind.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        But he was respected IIRC

      • From Russia with Love

        I think a lot of that hate originated after his time with the Nixon administration.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Rove? Cheney?

      • NastyBossetti

        These were going to be my 2 picks.

        • From Russia with Love

          Numbers 2 and 3 in my book. W would be number 4.

    • bupkus231

      FDR? No, you said “justly”. And, of course, he was before ( probably ) most of our lifetimes….

      • BadKitty904

        He added “justly” to exclude the obvious “Hillary” BS…

        • Snopes Shop

          Sad that he had to :(

          • BadKitty904

            Incredibly. What has happened to America?

  • Juan de Fuca

    The United States could lose up to 700,000 jobs and suffer billions of dollars in lost economic output if President Donald Trump ends a program granting work permits to the children of undocumented immigrants, a new report finds.

    An average of 30,000 workers could lose their jobs every month if DACA were repealed or permit renewals were held up, the report found. It also estimated that the loss of those workers could cost the country $460.3 billion in economic output over the next decade, with Medicare and Social Security contributions dropping by $24.6 billion.

    You’d think that even if we can’t get these dipshits to understand the whole moral thing about sending people off to live in a country they have no experience living in, because they are Americans, you could at least point out how we’re all going to be hit hard in the pocketbook if we go down this road. A $24 billion loss in Medicare and Social Security, during a time when we’re trying to figure out how to save Social Security and Medicare for my generation?

    These people think a bunch of white Americans are suddenly going to appear out of nowhere and start looking for the jobs they aren’t looking for now? If so, I could drive them down to the day labor parking lot here in Temecula and show them how many immigrants are looking for honest work and then drive them to the nearest Circle K and show them how many 30 year old Americans are looking for handouts, standing next to their BMX bike. I’ve lived in SoCal for five years and have yet to see an “illegal” Mexican immigrant at a Circle K, looking for a handout.

    Common sense – how the fuck does it work?

    http://fortune.com/2017/08/31/daca-dreamers-jobs-donald-trump/

  • BrendaKay

    “A new study is warning Democrats … that “handouts” like “free college or universal basic income just exacerbate [middle class] resentment” of Democrats.”

    Huh. My Republican, middle class, brother was truly excited about Obama’s free college ideas. Maybe it’s just because he has a kid starting college next fall???

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      People don’t seem to realize that free college covers the tuition. The kid still has to get into the college. And the family still has to cover room and board if the kid is away from home.

      • BrendaKay

        Sure, but tuition is a big chunk.

        • Les Appentis De la résistance

          Its less than the room and board at NY State schools.

      • VirginiaWackelpudding

        That’s peanuts compared to tuition. Now the kids have a new fee – an online homework site they MUST join to get and submit work. Tophat and Sapling are two of them. Is this really necessary? Us poors remember when we were middle class, sigh…

      • From Russia with Love

        It probably doesn’t cover books either, which back in the day (1970s) cost more than tuition.

        • therblig

          my students have the option to buy a loose leaf version of the govt acctg book for $200, or to rent it for $72. considering most of them will probably never use g/a again, they’ll probably rent.

          i feel bad for them because on one hand, we’ve upgraded to the latest edition of the book, so info is current, but on the other hand, it won’t be available on alibris or halfdotcom for at least another year.

          by comparison, last term’s students could get the old version for as low as $9.

          • From Russia with Love

            Nearly every prof at U of Texas had written his own book, so you can bet that it was on the book list. You went to Hemphill’s book store and paid $65 (in 1972), read the damn thing, and got $4.95 back for it at Hemphill’s book store after finals.

            Quite the racket.

          • therblig

            oddly enough, the lead author (granof) is from U of Texas and the 1st co-author (khumawala) is from U of Houston. they did add 2 from NYU for this edition.

            i stopped insisting on handed in homework when i saw that more than half my students’ work was EXACTLY as provided by the publisher’s companion edition.

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          Many of the books are now digital and there are services that allow the kids to rent them. Barnes and Noble runs one.

      • Snopes Shop

        It doesn’t help poor kids. At all. The kids I work with are already holding jobs to help their parents while in high school. They roll their eyes at the “free college” mantra. The free college thing only helps the already middle class.

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          Exactly. Some of the community colleges are stepping up to help the kids who cannot attend college full-time. I applaud the states that are making community colleges and junior colleges and vocational schools easier for young’uns to attend.

    • bbayliss

      And Social Security has really pissed off a lot of people.

      • BadKitty904

        Ditto universal healthcare.

        • puredog

          Pleasant small benis for watching your previously invulnerable body do its pre-death decomposition thang.

      • From Russia with Love

        Now that I’m getting it, I fucking love it!

    • Carpe Vagenda

      They’re crabs in a bucket, in the same way Trump or Jim Bob Duggar are. They want the people who come behind them not to be any smarter, better-educated or more successful than they are.

      • bupkus231

        Ummmm – steamed crabs….

        • IdiotsforPalin

          mmmmm butter

      • BeachBum

        FFS I want the next generation to wildly, fantastically successful as possible ! Way better than what I did ! Shows we did our job. What is wrong with these people ?

    • This is a bunch of shit, isn’t it? In other words, the forces of evil on the right wing have easily manipulated the “white working class” into becoming finger-pointing hacks, blaming those who they perceive as “poor” as the main reason they can’t afford their too-expensive mortgage payment on that too-expensive house on the “right side of the tracks.”

      • BeachBum

        Eggszactly. They need to practice what they preach on personal responsibility and either live within their means that they are willing to work for. Or STFU and get that 3rd job at the Stop’n Go. Gawd forbid they see anyone they know.

    • From Russia with Love

      How US students get a university degree for free in Germany

      Bummer dude, you gots to already talk German.

      http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-32821678

  • VirginiaWackelpudding

    Good luck in advance Florida. I know you’d wish Virginia the same if the path changes.

  • janecita

    The Jersey girl in me says, “Fuck Texas!” The bleeding heart, liberal, socialist me says, “Poor Texans, give them all the damn money!” The bleeding heart side, is stronger than the Jersey side.

    Ps. But fuck all the fucking Texans that voted against Sandy relief funds!

    • From Russia with Love

      Ps. fuck all the fucking Texans that voted wrong since 1954.

      • puredog

        That’s a lot of fuck.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Not too thrilled that their Governor can refuse to call a special session to authorize spending $10 billion they have banked for emergencies (so we can pay the whole bill until 2019) but he was completely OK spending the money for a special session to keep trans kids from using the fucking bathroom.

  • BeachBum

    RE GOP advice to Dems. I don’t think I will take advice from the party that voted against Civil Rights, Voting Rights, ERA, Medicare, Medicaid, Medicare Drugs, and Healthcare. Actually, now that I think about it, pissing off the white middle class is a nice side benefit.

  • Jack

    OT but fun!

    ‘Of course we have it!‘: Russian lawmaker pushes Putin to reveal the pee tape!

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/09/of-course-we-have-it-russian-lawmaker-pushes-putin-to-reveal-the-pee-tape/

    • From Russia with Love

      I love the thought that the urine of some peasant girl raised on the Siberian steppe will be the downfall of the Trump empire!

      • Khavrinen

        See, all those white supremacists were right about the dangers of “globalism”!

  • Carpe Vagenda
  • Michael Smith

    “A new study is warning Democrats to stop caring about the poors and back away from the Berners after finding that ‘handouts’ like ‘free college or universal basic income just exacerbate [middle class] resentment’ of Democrats.”

    [middle class] = [white]

    Thanks to racism and Fox News’ willingness and ability to exploit it to the benefit of the GOP.

    • BeachBum

      They are just finding out that simply being white is not enough in much of the country and will someday be the whole country. Too bad, how sad.
      000000000 > crocodile tears.

      • Erala Contratista

        Huh. Saw the change coming 40+ years ago.
        And also am a girl and a really tired landscaper.
        Sorry guys, the good ol days when you could get a job because you “knew somebody” or your daddy, brother, uncle, etc. worked for the state, county, city, etc. went away a long time ago.

    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      And where does this “study” come from?

  • Poly_Ester

    Do you think Trump would be able to read something that long?

  • C4TWOMAN

    Hey Dom, link for this text isn’t working, at least is Firefox:


    “handouts” like “free college or universal basic income just exacerbate [middle class] resentment” of Democrats.

    • HazooToo

      Did you ever find that article?

      • C4TWOMAN

        Nope haven’t checked.

        • HazooToo

          Sokay, people found a couple versions for me. If you want, I can share, but they are exactly as stupid as advertised.

  • SisterArtemis

    OT, a 12-hour timelapse of the Eagle Creek fire raging on the north side of the Columbia Gorge in Washington state. The live cam at the webpage this came from was overwhelmed by visitors, but he does have this on youtube. He notes “One thing to note with the images above is that as the evening has come the fire has just become more noticable this does not mean that it has intensified in the few hours. The long exposure of the camera also makes the fire seem much brigher as the camera tries to adjust to the low light. It is much darker in person.”
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQ7JTxYNWt4

    • BreakingDeadMen

      “Who knew there were so many natural disasters?”
      –Donald Trump, after Irma touches down

      • MrTusks

        One side’s on fire, one side’s drowning, the middle sometimes tries to blow away.

    • Khavrinen

      And in Portland it’s “snowing” ash.

  • chascates

    So Sessions says Obama was unconstitutional with his DACA order because Congress should determine immigration but previously said the bans on travel from majority Muslim countries was fine because the President should determine immigration.
    WTF????

    • Khavrinen

      Same old WTF as always: IOKIYAR.

    • i keep thinking this.

      would be nice if somebody in the press also pointed this out.

    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      Because white people.

  • *sigh*

    Just look at these headlines:

    https://news.google.com/news/story/dm-a6f4SXxJJhHMKyFQXJfxwuQu6M?ned=us&hl=en

    “HILLARY BLAMES BERNIE FOR LOSS IN NEW BOOK!”
    “HILLARY: IF IT WEREN’T FOR BERNIE AND HIS PONIES, I WOULD HAVE WON!”

    Listen: I’ve seen the supposed excerpts from her upcoming book. They don’t say any of this, even remotely.

    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      And if they did, it would be absolutely true, but file under things it is naughty to say, like calling people racist.

  • Persistent Demme
  • smitallica

    Our President finds it hard to care about Condors since, on the scale of bird hotness, they’re like a 2.

  • SeeTrain65

    Nikki Haley says North Korea is “begging for war” and is asking the UN to cut off oil imports after the hermit kingdom set what sure as hell seems like a hydrogen

    It’s all right, sentences are getting too long anyway, Dominic. ; )

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