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Good morning, Wonketariat! We’re taking Monday off because the Editrix said so, but here’s some of the things we may be talking about this weekend to to hold you over until Tuesday.

Emergency workers are scared to enter flooded chemical plants after Trump rolled back Obama-era EPA safety regs that would have forced industries to make certain dangers public knowledge. I’m sure if they hold their breath and try not to touch anything they’ll be fine.

That America First crap is screwing flood victims and charities out of Ameros from Not Americans who would rather hurt Trump than help the new poor. That’s bigly bad, but not as bad as her emails.

There are signs that Trump’s White House and congressional crazies won’t shut down the government now that people are begging for federal aid in the wake of Harvey. It also means Trump is kicking the Tortilla Curtain down the road a little.

Lindsey Graham and Chuck Grassley are accusing James Comey being guilty of pre-crime and drafting a statement that exonerated Hillary Clinton and her murder mail before the FBI completed its investigation. Clearly this is the smoking gun that proves deep state government officials are anal retentive and believe in spell check.

Trump’s lawyers say he couldn’t have obstructed justice when he “You’re Fired” James Comey because the ghost of Richard Nixon told him when the president does it, it’s not illegal. [Archive]

Robert Mueller is scraping the crap off Trump’s tax returns now that he’s working with the IRS Criminal Investigations unit. I wonder what he’ll find? 

Don’t expect any help during the next open enrollment period as Trump officials are amputating spending on ACA advertising, as well as halving the signup period, a move many people think is designed to sabotage healthcare for all those icky poors.

Republicans can’t seem to “You’re Fired” Richard Cordray from the CFPB, and his emails about poor people getting screwed from big businesses are really starting to chap some asses.

Trump is full of sads now that John Kelly is keeping him on a short leash. People are calling him “the church lady” for trying to dull the impact of Trump’s incessant chaos. Well, isn’t that special.

Mick Mulvaney is a self-declared “right-wing nutjob” who has been attempting to butcher bureaucracy, blow up regulations, and obliterate government spending on things like Meals on Wheels and treatments for diabetics.

Suspected murderer and all around asshole David Clarke has quit his job and the rumor mill has it that he’s being brought in to Trump’s White House. Do you think the WH press pool will start wearing body armor during briefings?

Trump’s in no hurry to stick someone atop DHS. Maybe he’ll hot-swap John Kelly with David Clarke?

Trump has been hiring lobbyists to regulate the industries they used to work for, like drug manufacturers and grumpy old farts who used to threaten government lawyers, because nobody wants to work for the Trump administration.

The Treasury inspector general is reviewing Steve Mnuchin and his Bourgeois Barbie’s trip to Kentucky to watch the eclipse to see if he might have accidentally abbused government resources.

Wells Fargo has found ANOTHER million-plus bank accounts from people who never signed up with Wells Fargo.

Kris Kobach says he’s a paid contributor for Breitbart because he’s a Republican and has Republican thoughts, and Breitbart “appeals to a broad spectrum of conservative readers.” [h/t Mediaite]

A Salt Lake University Hospital nurse refused to draw blood from an unconscious patient who wasn’t under arrest, so she was arrested by a cop who stated, “I either go away with blood in vials or body in tow.” What a nice guy.

ISIS has lost another city to US-backed Kurdish, Arab and Iraqi forces, after hundreds of ISIS fighters opted to surrender to the Kurds rather than get killed by the Iraqi military.

The State Department is booting Russia out of some houses in San Francisco in response to orders from Putin forcing US diplomats to GTFO from Russia.

Kenya’s Supreme Court says it needs to re-run its presidential election after allegations of fraud. Man, that sounds like a good idea.

And here’s your morning Nice Time!
Langur Babies!!

Freedom isn’t free, but ‘Yr Wonkette is! Throw us some Ameros so things stay that way!

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  • dslindc

    Welcome to #FreshHellFriday! Get your drinks ready for tonight’s news dump. 💩

    • puredog

      Special Labor Day Edition.

    • Thanks for the reminder. My supply of Tito’s isn’t large enough to provide any real assistance for the inevitable Friday night Hurricane Trump.

    • Not Flat – ROUND!

      Shouldn’t that be “news derp”?

  • Nounverb911
    • Msgr_MΩment

      MIspelled Covfefe.

      • Nounverb911

        Damn spelchek!

        • Msgr_MΩment

          We would have accepted Spillczech.

  • Nounverb911
  • dslindc
  • Nounverb911
  • P’jama Pahnts

    It’ll be fun if sheriff Clark gets to the WH and comes face-to-face with a general with actual medals.

    • Boy howdy, I’d pay to be in the room when they make eye contact.

  • Photo I took in St. Louis yesterday at a crime scene. His nephew was shot by police, and he was pissed because he’d apparently just gotten out of jail. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/36fb9cef77371b30d58e2928844202191117a7bcebbc0050cb0da11d7a0c889d.jpg

    • The cop, seemingly calm, emotionless, doing his job.

      The man, face etched in anguish, unable to process what he is experiencing and what just happened.

      I hope the young man survived.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Um, “Church Lady”, if you could add some more flair to your chest, that’d be great.

  • Nounverb911
    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Unemployment goes up to 4.4%. “IT’S A DISASTER!” is what Trump would say if Obama (or Hillary) was in office.

      • bupkus231

        To the archives! He probably already HAS!

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    “I pledged $1million to Houston. Unlike pledge to vets, I will probably pay this time.” #DeletedTrumpTweets

    • beingreleased

      He offered $5 million for Obama’s birth certificate. But of course, that was more important.

    • Nounverb911
      • SeeTrain65

        Let’s see this “generosity” first, lackwit. And not from the Trump Foundation coffers.

      • beingreleased

        CNN posted a story about it several hours before this tweet.

    • Weird Fishes

      “If you just take a little from each of them nobody is ever going to notice. Administrative fees or some bullshit, I don’t care. Just do it.”

      “Okay, Daddy. Can we come visit this weekend?”

      “We’ll see.”

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      with other people’s money.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I’m really getting sick and tired of looking at that ignoramus’ stupid hair. Who the hell looks in the mirror and sez that looks good? Also too trim your fucking eyebrows.

    • cmd resistor

      It just gets stupider, too. I look at him and think, damn, he actually intentionally does that, and it probably takes a long time, too.

  • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

    Justin Trudeau is going to be on Kelly and Ryan in a minute!

    • bupkus231

      Just a warning – it’s a re-run. ( My aunt watches it religiously, so it’s on in the background )

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        Yep, it is a rerun but I’m not mad. Oh you sexy thing, sexy thing you.

  • Nounverb911

    Sonia Sotomayor in the “Judge’s Chambers” at last nights Yankee game.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bbae21ac45ccc73086c6dba76bea2be36dea69e50799b6f578be637306606d3a.jpg

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      Yankees fans! We need to get a new SCOTUS.

      • MrTusks

        When I’m president, I’m gonna appoint the guy who ran the drunk tank courtroom in Veterans’ Stadium.

    • Weird Fishes

      ICK, and to think I could have loved her.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        …But you were just a kid?

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Eh, she’s from The Bronx so I give her a pass. If she were from outside the five boroughs, though…

    • Michael Smith

      She is a former NYC assistant DA. In the 70’s. That was probably an interesting job.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Did the Kurds dip their bullets in pig’s blood? My understanding is that is the only way to beat ISIS. Plus saying “radical islamic terrorism” three times while turning in a circle.

  • Not Flat – ROUND!

    Wow, what a big pile of repub shit to go through so early in the day.

    To Kelly – good luck (better men than you have tried to no avail) – you will remembered as someone who “tried”, good luck after your firing next week.

  • Msgr_MΩment
    • Mr. Blobfish

      That boy is a drip off the old cock.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        You misspelled chancre.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        Except the drip is bigger than the cock.

        • From Russia with Love

          And this right here is all the respect Donny’s ever going to get.

    • Michael Smith

      Nice of him to take all the money he’s making off the secret service and make it tax deductible.

    • P’jama Pahnts

      Until the check clears this is a non-story

    • Mr. Blobfish

      How much will Eric, Don Jr. and Javanka be donating?

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Javanaka’s money’s all tied up in big buildings at the moment.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Being proud of a billionaire giving one million is like being proud of a middle class man tipping the pizza delivery guy.

      • Dg Hacket

        He never was a billionaire

    • JMP

      Considering his history, what are the chances that Donald either 1) just never follows up on this and never makes any donation, or 2) gives the money to The Trump Foundation, the phony charity he operates as a slush fund for himself?

    • Oblios_Cap

      I’ll believe it when I see it.

    • beingreleased

      What gets me about little Eric’s tweet is how lazy it is. I would have taken him 10 seconds to check if CNN had reported it which would have kept him from looking like an idiot. I wouldn’t ask a work colleague a question if I hadn’t made an attempt to figure it out for myself. I’ve already done that several times today. Once, I figured out the answer without help.

      • bupkus231

        Well, he’s just like his Daddy’s supporters – wouldn’t actually look at any news service other than the ones that cater to their fucked up opinions, like Fix News

      • Point taken, but nothing can keep him from looking like an idiot, what with him being an idiot and all.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Looking like an idiot and acting like an idiot are two different things. Fortunately, in Eric’s case, they come together to form an awesome synergy.

    • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

      Improved headline:
      Trump Pledges To Donate 1/7th As Much As Beyonce Already Has: Check Has Yet To Clear

  • Michael Smith

    Trump loves that story about Comey and the Emails. He was tweeting about it yesterday, after saying something about Texas being strong. He called it “rigging” of course.

    Basically he is laying the groundwork for when Mueller comes up with illegal activity on his part – he won’t say that he didn’t commit crimes, because the evidence will be plain enough, but he will say that Hillary probably committed crimes as well, but we will never know because the establishment liked her, whereas it fears him because he’s so Patriotic.

    • Not Flat – ROUND!

      Thanks for the lol!
      I needed that.

    • Finnibar87

      And it will immediately be pointed out that Hillary isn’t part of the investigation.

      • From Russia with Love

        And he won’t understand what they mean.

    • Not Flat – ROUND!

      Patriotic describes Trumpy to a T
      P – parasitic
      A – asshole
      T – traumatized (from childhood)
      R – repub
      I – imbecilic
      O – OMG what’s that fucking Orange Goof doing now?
      T – totalitarian
      I – Idiotic
      C – cunt

    • P’jama Pahnts

      Tu Quoque?

    • Dg Hacket

      It seems to me that Dolt 45 is expending a lot of time,energy and resources to push back against the OoJ , but it is the financial shenanigans that are going to take him down

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    Crap. That man looks like me… with slightly yellower teeth.

    • From Russia with Love

      He looks like Sheriff Clark, only with less medals.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • beingreleased
  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    “He’s having a very hard time,” one friend who spoke with Trump this week said of the president. “He doesn’t like the way the media’s handling him. He doesn’t like how Kelly’s handling him. He’s turning on people that are very close to him.”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c164cb5b8d8d2e7f4e231cb0799ac1dea83d2910838253f6da4ed105f09bee2c.jpg

    • P’jama Pahnts

      Try being a child of an undocumented immigrant.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Donnie Dumbass couldn’t do that because they don’t exist to him. The only working class people he knows serves him his Taco Bowls at trümp tower.

    • JMP

      Maybe he should try not being horrible about everything all the time then.

    • Oblios_Cap

      This Trump fellow sure sounds like a little pussy.

  • Nounverb911
  • Bill D. Burger

    Reportedly Turnip’s now referring to Kelly as “The Church Lady” and is laughing at Kelly’s attempts to stop him from tweeting and doing what he wants.

    https://media.giphy.com/media/bLsOywHkX668U/giphy.gif

    • Mr. Blobfish

      And calling his buds on his unsecured personal phone.

  • BadKitty904

    OT: Kitty Stormsbane is sitting in the San Antonio airport, preparing to jet home and de-mold AT LAST!!1!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ddc974d3a93e7e0e8e592a2abbb872256726a802e29aa76d2ddad04beabf69b3.gif

  • MynameisBlarney

    Today in “This stupid SOB BETTER be out of a fuckin’ job after the next election!” News.

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/09/send-prayers-texas-republican-turns-down-donated-blankets-beds-manpower-from-canada/?comments=disqus

    • From Russia with Love

      Looks kinda like he ate all of the food donations from Canada.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “This maple syrup is not going to guzzle itself, after all.”

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    John Kerry thought the Kenya election was just A-OK.
    It wasn’t

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Yeah, he was there for the Carter Center! I’m so confused by all this.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        From the article, this might be the best explanation:

        Another rigged election in Africa is not news. But that US election observers were so quick to endorse it is shocking. Perhaps they believed that wrapping the election up quickly would prevent violence.

        I think it’s quite possible that this was a case of mission drift. The goal slowly became a “peaceful” result rather than a fair result.

        It wouldn’t be easy to declare that an election was a sham if you knew that the result would likely be violent riots. But I don’t even think it was necessarily a conscious choice. It could have been a slow drift from multiple people making small compromises “this is not so bad, we can overlook this one thing, they are trying, no sense blowing up the situation just over this one problem” over and over again.

  • Nounverb911
    • OrG

      I’m starting to like this Mueller fellow.

      • proudgrampa

        He REALLY seems nice.

        No, really!!!

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Bless his heart.

          Ditto.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I like the cut of his jib.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    The cop who manhandled and arrested the nurse was only following Little Babby Donnie’s advice to “rough ’em up a little”. Trump to pardon the cop for violating ever’bodies Constitutional rights in 5…4…3…

    • Michael Smith

      “In the old days… in the old days, you know what they’d do to a guy like that? They’d draw his blood while he was unconscious even though he wasn’t under arrest… yeah.. the good old days.”

      • Les Appentis De la résistance

        Sell his kidney too while he’s not looking.

        • From Russia with Love

          Both of them if he was a trouble maker.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Reports are that Mueller and his team were ‘amused’ (read laughing their asses off) by Trump’s lawyers submitting the argument to them that Trump couldn’t have obstructed justice because he had the Constitutional power to fire Comey.
    Pssst….NO ONE says he doesn’t have the ‘authority’ you dolts. If he used or abused that authority to terminate Comey in order to stop the investigation, that’s called ‘obstruction.’
    Weak legal tea there kiddos’…… unbelievably weak….embarrassing in fact.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DIkOyPcWAAAsTjY.jpg

    • ariel_gee_398

      And that’s their best available argument. They aren’t holding on to some ace card for later, this is it.

    • From Russia with Love

      Ehem, purple heart and bronze star with valor.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        The Marines don’t just give away Bronze Stars …

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Trump has a purple heart*.

        *Okay, some guy gave him his.

        • bupkus231

          The story now is that it was a replica.

          Rump has a phony Purple Heart – and it’s the ONLY heart he has…

          • Jimh

            So, is “replica news” the same as fake news?

          • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

            Stolen Valor Act of 2013

          • bupkus231

            That’s why the story got changed ( to the medal being a replica )

          • Celtic_Gnome

            The Tin Man has a bigger heart than Trump.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Could someone enlighten me on DACA and dreamers? I have been reading a lot of this but I am still not sure what’s going on with that?

    • Bill D. Burger

      Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) is a kind of administrative relief from the threat of deportation. The purpose of DACA is to protect eligible immigrant kids who came to the United States when they were small children from deportation. DACA gives young undocumented immigrants: 1) protection from deportation, and 2) a work permit.

      It’s discretionary and Trump can end it, and it looks as though he will soon.
      His action would be wholly cruel and unnecessary and it will affect about 600K kids. And his doing it would be only to throw red meat to his odious bigoted base.

      • bupkus231

        There’s been a lot of talk about a September 5th “deadline” for Rump to make a decision on whether to continue DACA or not, so that’s one reason why it’s back in the news so much right now.

        But, it sounds as if this “deadline” is not really a deadline, but a date set by 10 ( Republican ) states’ attorneys general as to whether or not they’ll go ahead with a federal suit against DACA…

        Link: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/why-trump-should-ignore-september-5-texas-deadline_us_59a4bda8e4b0d6cf7f404fde

        To me, this sounds more like a political blackmail, and an endrun around the idea that these states are trying to usurp federal powers over immigration. IOW – Republican AGs are attempting unconstitutional bullshit. Quelle suprise!!!

        • Celtic_Gnome

          And if Donnie knuckles under, he sends a message to the entire GOP that he’s a pussy that they can bully if they just stick together.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        I can’t wait for the visuals on the first decorated vet or school valedictorian in handcuffs. That’s gonna play well.

        • Antonin Dvorak

          If I were a Dreamer who served, I’d start wearing my dress uniform all the time, including medals, just for that reason.

    • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude

      DACA= Deferred action on childhood arrivals. This was Obama’s policy not to deport people who were brought to this country as young children.
      The DREAM Act was introduced in Congress in 2006 to make that group eligible for citizenship, but it failed to receive a vote.

    • ariel_gee_398

      And, as an extra layer of cruelty, by signing up for DACA, these kids gave the government their info, so the deportation force knows exactly where to find them. They are easy pickings for his roving gangs of ICE thugs, though, of course, deporting them won’t help the country at all and will likely put them at risk when they are sent to a country they haven’t lived in for years, likely decades, and may not have any real ties to anymore.

      • ariel_gee_398

        (Which is why I think he wants to go after the program. Well, that and because it was Obama’s idea. But basically these folks will be easy to find and deport, having given the government their addresses and admitted to being undocumented. I think he’s just concerned about having a higher number to throw out as red meat to his slavering crowds.)

        • Not Flat – ROUND!

          I think you mean “diminishing crowds”.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Diminished capacity is a really apt double entendre for his crowds…

        • Rags

          I strongly suspect multiple clandestine address changes are already underway.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        That’s satanically dark.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        That was a feature, not a bug.

    • Not Flat – ROUND!

      THE DREAM IS OVER!!!

      Thank you, Repukes, you close-minded imbeciles.

    • Oblios_Cap

      What’s wrong w/ The Dutch National Team? They let France slap them around this week.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Pfoeh, where to start…. Firt of all every now and then you simply have a generation that is not as skillful. that is what we have right nowbut we should still be able to qualifiy with this bunch wasn;t it we have had some real shit coaches recently. How come that has happened has to do with the deeper laying problem: A complete inept and disgrace called the leadersship at the KNVB (Dutch football association.) Asshole with zero football knowledge steering the wheel and ignoring real experts including the late Cruijff who warned us like ten years ago.

        The KNVB is much like the white house right now and the problem has been there for ten years. the WC final of 2010 and semi’s of 2014 have blinded many people but what experts have been saying for years is now surfacing.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Dutch-
      Americans
      Chained to
      Alpacas

  • MrTusks

    “ISIS has lost another city to US-backed Kurdish, Arab and Iraqi forces, after hundreds of ISIS fighters opted to surrender to the Kurds rather than get killed by the Iraqi military.”

    I can’t wait for my dad to give Trump credit for this because he “stepped back and let them do their job.”

  • JMP

    “Kris Kobach says he’s a paid contributor for Breitbart because he’s a Republican and has Republican thoughts, and Breitbart “appeals to a broad spectrum of conservative readers.” ”

    A broad spectrum; some of their articles are designed to appeal to the white supremacists, others to the alt-righters, some to the neo-Nazis, more to the white nationalists, and then others to the plain old racists.

  • Nounverb911
    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Has he revised the tweet to “heil” yet?

      • Nounverb911

        Don’t give him any ideas.

        • Not Flat – ROUND!

          Is it possible to give a moron ideas?

          • Marion in Savannah

            Yeah, but only really crappy ones get through the moran filter.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Opera libretti LIBELZ!!1!1!1!11!

    • Celtic_Gnome

      This isn’t the first time he’s made the heel/heal mistake. I think he really believes the word he’s using is spelled heel.

  • Joe Beese

    Fox News poll finds 60% of Americans consider Trump somewhat, very, or extremely unstable.

    • I would have thought “unstable” to be a binary state. Like pregnancy

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        There’s “He’s all right if you don’t say the word ‘mattress’ ” unstable, and then there’s “Because I love you, Anna, I insist you run!” unstable.

    • OutOfOrbit

      but those who voted for him would do it again

    • OrG

      What does the Wonkette poll say?

      • Parakeetist

        Drunk and no pants.

      • MynameisBlarney

        INPEEECH!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        He’s lizard milk people.

      • Antonin Dvorak

        100% approval for those cakes we like.

      • coozledad

        Liquor at 9AM.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Gasp – the noble journalists at Fox have been turned by Deep State – where will this nefarious conspiracy end?

  • Nounverb911
    • Msgr_MΩment

      To be fair, nobody knew who Obama was at the time.

      • Rags

        But if you asked “Was Obama responsible for the downing by the Soviet Union of a Korean airliner in 1983?,” you would get 25% ‘yes’ responses.

  • coozledad

    Breitbart “appeals to a broad spectrum of conservative readers.”

    Cletus, Jeetus, Peetus, Poonus,and Festus.

    • Parakeetist

      Assholes and great big assholes.

      • bupkus231

        See! Diversity!!!

  • Michael R
    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      ARBY’S: WE HAVE THE MEATS®

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Turgid. Thanks for asking.

  • Randy Riddle

    I saw this trailer for a new movie last night and suddenly realized that this is probably what’s going on in the White House right now.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPpXFnHoC-0

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Not Flat – ROUND!

    Considering the Nightmare-in-Chief, if you don’t live in a pot-rec-legal state what’s wrong with you (or are you contemplating a move to the Great White North)??

    If Trumpy’s presidency doesn’t cause a spike in pot sales… the stats are wrong.

    • JMP

      I don’t like pot, alcohol and tobacco work fine and they don’t smell hideous.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Cigarette and cigar tobacco smells kinda hideous – worse than pot, I think. Pipe tobacco isn’t so bad.

        • JMP

          Nah, cigarette tobacco smells awesome and tempting; while the pot stench is nausea-inducing, and somehow makes people think the hideous odor of patchouli is acceptable as well.

          • MrTusks

            I also like the smell of cigarette smoke, but cigarette smokers tend to smell terrible.

          • Not Flat – ROUND!

            Which is why I shower regularly!

            Players tobacco reeks so bad I can’t be in the same room with a partaker, however, I never met a pot smoker I couldn’t sit next to.

          • Not Flat – ROUND!

            Patchouli vs cat piss is still an unsettled debate.
            I’ll stick with Ma Nature’s Herb.

        • Not Flat – ROUND!

          I roll pipe tobacco with my medicinal herb – best of both worlds.

      • Not Flat – ROUND!

        To each their own – actually I use all 3!

    • Rags

      Unfortunately, Congress did not prohibit Federal marijuana busts for recreational pot, legal or not, unlike medical marijuana. Sessions can still bust down yer door.

      • Not Flat – ROUND!

        If Sessions comes to my neighborhood he better watch out, we got 12 year old girls who would kick his ass!

      • Not Flat – ROUND!

        BTW fuck all cogresscritters who don’t stand up for legalization!

      • Not Flat – ROUND!

        I am lucky(????) that my use is medicinal.
        But it should be legal for all adults – period!

  • Nounverb911
  • MynameisBlarney
    • bupkus231

      TBF, that puppeh’s coat is heavy enough that he/she never felt the rain….

  • TundraGrifter

    Brad? Don’t forget Brad this weekend! We’ve gots to keep him in the Top 10 for another week!

  • Stulexington

    Just one more question before we hand out assignments, did you play “the floor is lava” when you were little and if so were you any good?

    • MrTusks

      Of course I was good, I’m still alive aren’t I?

    • Randy Riddle

      I play “Trump is lava” everyday when I’m tuning around the tv.

    • Beautiful Soup

      I played “everything is upside down” and I was Excellent.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Is this the one where you hang your head off the edge of the couch and pretend the ceiling is the floor?

        • Beautiful Soup

          The very one! But sometimes you just lie down in the dining room, because it’s cool to see a chandelier on the floor.

          • House0fTheBlueLights

            I actually still do this.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Sure did. Pillows were the islands, furniture was peaks on the mainland. I wasn’t bad, but my jam was hide & seek. I RULED at that game.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      My brother and I did the “don’t touch the floor” thing, but we didn’t specifically designate it as lava. You just weren’t allowed to touch the floor. Our go-to game, however, was “stuff-stuff” where you stuffed as many items of clothing inside your underwear (tshirt and underpants) as you could. We ruined a lot of tshirts.

    • eka

      yes but even more fun was playing that the woods were a marsh full of alligators and you could only live by jumping from tree root to tree root. everything is better outside :-)

    • VirginiaWackelpudding

      We did the Step on a Crack thing on tiled floors and sidewalks. It was brutal for our mom’s spines.

    • I was very good

  • Nounverb911
  • Msgr_MΩment

    …prompting some Trump loyalists to derisively dub Kelly “the church lady” because they consider him strict and morally superior. https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/during-a-summer-of-crisis-trump-chafes-against-criticism-and-new-controls/2017/08/31/8fb32d72-8d97-11e7-91d5-ab4e4bb76a3a_story.html?utm_term=.48444a02daf6

    You set the morally superior bar kinda low, to be fair.

  • Mpeg

    Enjoy the Labor Day holiday Dominic — you, Editrix, and company deserve it!

    (*contemplates withdrawal symptoms anticipated for Monday*)

    Y’all will still be tweeting though right?

  • MynameisBlarney
    • I hold the poor suckers hostage for at least two pointless chunks of time they will never get back when I order,and when I pick up my order… I paid for it, and by god, I’m going to get the full treatment.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • House0fTheBlueLights

      To be clear, they aren’t tax exempt so they can help the needy. They are tax exempt as a wall against government interference. Church tax exemptions are under 501-c-3: “general charitable purposes.” However, this is not really defined–each institution gets to define it themselves, and justify it generally via the IRS990 form (there are 2 pages of yes-no questions. Not much of a firewall, but better than nothing).

      I don’t disagree with the point; religious institutions should help because duh, but this meme is spreading questionable information.

      /concerntroll

      • Latverian Diplomat

        It also ignores the fact that church buildings aren’t necessarily good shelters. Many churches are not more structurally sophisticated than barns.

        • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

          I agree. I am sure many strip mall churches are helping in other ways.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            They may or may not be, case by case. Obviously, anything that helps people out in this disaster is welcome.

            But I don’t think churches should be a big part of disaster response in any circumstances. Shaming churches that don’t ostentatiously provide relief just feeds the myth that churches have a big role in disaster relief and recovery. They don’t and they shouldn’t. It’s a government responsibility.

          • cmd resistor

            Yeah, I think it’s nice when they do help, but the ones that do don’t need to be shamed into it. There are a lot of mosques in Houston that pitched in, as well.

          • Frank Underboob

            Then they shouldn’t get special tax benefits. Olsteen’s ‘church’ is clearly a for-profit business, & should be taxed accordingly.

        • ZangoCrudmonger

          Liquor stores, on the other hand…………

      • cmd resistor

        I actually kind of don’t care if Joel Osteen shelters people or not. Seems like the whole thing just ended up being a bunch of sniping about did the church flood; they didn’t ask, blah blah. His supporters are all yelling about the mean liberal liars. If I had to be in a shelter, I bet the mattress guy’s were more fun. Not that I like Osteen in the least. I just found it odd that people expected anything from him than what he normally does. Oh, and wingnut bro has posted MANY times on FB about it. Kind of the least of the problems out there.

    • Oblios_Cap

      The poor can’t fill the collection plates. God needs cash. He needs it now. And he needs it often.

      • Not Flat – ROUND!

        Not “often” – “constantly”.

      • jesterpunk

        God should call JG Wentworth then.

    • Not Flat – ROUND!

      “If we could, even for 10 years, eliminate all religions and their influence, we could change the world for the better in ways we can’t even begin to imagine”.

      ~~ Me ~~Just Now

      • MynameisBlarney

        With the possible exceptions of Buddhism and Unitarianism, I agree.

        • Not Flat – ROUND!

          Buddhism is the ONLY religion I have “studied” (half-assed at a best) that I have any respect (reverence?) for.
          Never heard of Unitarianism.

          • MynameisBlarney

            I hear ya
            Unitarianism is probably not the correct name.

            These guys…

            http://www.uua.org/beliefs

          • Not Flat – ROUND!

            Now I know why I never heard of them before “we are pseudo-Christian and you should listen to us because Jesus told one of us WE are right and everyone else is wrong”. I’d laugh but it’s worked many times before (I’m really not at all proud to be a member of the Human Race).

  • Bill D. Burger

    ♪, ♫♪, ♫ Like the Grim Reaper
    Don Jon is there. ♪, ♫♪, ♫

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DIlPzxsUIAEd8jU.jpg

  • Jeffery Campbell

    The ORANGE monkeys! The squee is strong this morning.

    • SomeBigRedDog

      10 out of 10, would squee again.

  • Nounverb911
    • Lance Thrustwell

      Fire that asshole NOW!

      • ariel_gee_398

        Relatedly, police unions really give all other unions a bad name…

        • RobespierreHoo

          Generally, the Amalgamated Brotherhood of Knee-Cappers Waste Management and Concrete Workers Local 301 in Paramus, NJ are more on the up and up. Plus, they kill fewer people.

      • Vincent Ricola

        Fire him hard with rusty votes.

      • Stulexington

        Lock him up also too.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste
    • Oblios_Cap

      And that’s why I try to avoid interactions with the police, even thought I’m a whit-ish guy.

    • bookish

      When I worked in locked psych, certain officers thought our unit was a place for them to park their asses with radios blaring, loaded guns, and everything. They would also bring in annoying drunks, lean them up against the wall, and depart. Some uniformed assholes think they can do whatever they want wherever they want. May Detective Jeff get everything he deserves.

  • Vincent Ricola

    I am highly disturbed by that video of the Salt Lake University Hospital nurse getting arrested. I’m going back to bed now.

    • Not Flat – ROUND!

      Starting to wonder why I left the womb.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • MynameisBlarney

      She is purdy dang awesome.

      • Oblios_Cap

        And bouncy!

      • Panika MCD

        and a native Houstonian.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Will The Donald and his Idjit son match that of a _____ singer?

    • a dollar for every point of hotness.

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste
    • Oblios_Cap

      Don’t hold your breath.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Gosh, poor guy! How’s he gonna feed his family on whatever maddeningly huge golden parachute his fellow corrupt plutocrats gave him?

    • Great, just great. I’ve got to deal with Wells Fargo next weekend about my late mother’s reverse mortgage. Oy.

    • I love THAT BITCH!

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Three policies from John Kelly that most annoy Trump:

    1) Staff no longer allowed to greet the President with Nazi salutes.
    2) No golfing in West Wing Hallways
    3) No blackjack or hookers or hookers playing blackjack.

    • Not Flat – ROUND!

      What, no hookers playing blackjack – poor Trumpy.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “The thing about hookers playing blackjack that I find so exciting is…they are going to have to pee eventually.”
        — Donald Trump

    • CeeQ

      No more sessions in the blue room where everyone has to say three things Trump does that is better or bigger than anything else in the history of ever.

      • Rags

        no way

  • Mavenmaven

    Now under Trump, if a cop wants to break the law at a hospital, he can shoot everyone with a military bazooka and kill everyone at will, like Trump’s buddy Duterte taught them.

    • ariel_gee_398

      If we kill all the doctors, that will keep down healthcare costs as well. Two birds, one bazooka.

      • Mavenmaven

        Yes, Jared can treat all the patients.

  • bookish

    IntelBrief. The Soufan Center.

    Germany and the New West

    Bottom Line Up Front:

    • With the retrenchment of the U.S. away from internationalism, Germany is in a position to assume a more direct leadership role on geopolitical issues.

    • On September 24, Germany will hold federal elections that will decide the fate of Chancellor Angela Merkel and test the country’s willingness to exercise a greater leadership role among Western countries.

    • While opposition parties in Germany criticize Merkel for being too aligned with the U.S., she has taken a hard line against Russia’s disinformation campaigns and has shown strong support for refugees.

    • With its preference for multilateral approaches to global & regional issues, Germany will likely continue to assume a role that the U.S. administration regards with disdain.

    As the U.S. continues to pull away from multilateralism and its post-World War II role as a global leader, European powers are moving ahead with their own vision of how to best confront global challenges. As the U.S. steps aside, Germany is stepping up to provide clear and consistent leadership of multilateral efforts to tackle complex global issues. More so than any other country—especially as U.S. leadership and credibility continue to wane—Germany is best positioned, and perhaps most inclined, to assume the role of the West’s primary champion of liberal democracy. It has long been the economic powerhouse of Europe, and has been a leading advocate for the concept and principles of the European Union (EU) and the United Nations—two constructs that the current U.S. administration holds in low regard—even as Russia and other revisionist powers seek to undermine them.

    On September 24, Germany will hold federal elections that will decide the fate of Chancellor Angela Merkel and test the country’s willingness to exercise a greater leadership role among Western countries. In the face of growing nationalistic headwinds, Merkel has seen her popularity at home weaken somewhat in the last year, particularly over the issue of refugees. She has been perhaps the strongest voice on the moral imperative of welcoming more refugees, and sought to achieve a collective EU solution to the unprecedented migration crises. The issue has been seized upon in Germany, as well as in the U.S. and other countries, as a winning political tool by political figures and parties ranging from the moderate-right to the extreme-right. Even with the substantial turmoil in German politics, it is predicted that Merkel’s Christian Democratic Union (CDU) party will remain the strongest, along with its sister party, Christian Social Union (CSU).

    The current government is a coalition of CDU/CSU and the Social Democrats (SPD), a somewhat uneasy alliance of necessity that may continue after the elections, depending on the results. The SPD is opposed to what it sees as a Germany that is too willing to increase military spending; such an increase is a requisite step to Germany taking a greater leadership role among Western countries, especially in terms of collective security. In late August, the SPD candidate for chancellor, Martin Schulz, stated ‘We are in a Cold War 2.0…Right in the middle. We face a new phase of nuclear armament in East and West.’ Foreign Minister Sigmar Gabriel, a member of the SPD, agreed with this characterization, saying he felt Merkel was following the U.S. down a dangerous path of increased military spending and militarization.

    Ironically, the charge that Merkel is too closely aligned with the U.S. is in fact an extremely narrow criticism, given how different her approach to nearly all international issues has been from that of the Trump administration. Germany has also been at the forefront of speaking out against Russia’s anti-western disinformation campaigns, which Moscow has waged both in the U.S. and across the EU. There is a growing recognition among both sides of Germany’s political spectrum that the country is caught between a resurgent, aggressive Russia, and a U.S. administration whose haphazard approach to foreign policy has caused unprecedented damage to U.S. credibility. The question facing average Germans going into the elections in September is this: in what ways, and to what degree, are they willing to shoulder the burden of greater responsibility for global leadership in a time of growing uncertainty? Regardless of the outcome of the elections, there will likely be worsening drift between the U.S. and German governments as the Trump administration continues to emphasize a unilateral and transactional approach to international issues that defy unilateral solutions.

  • David

    Sure you want to take the weekend off? You know there will be some serious ratfuckery in this evening’s news dump after 6…and who knows what they’ll try to pull over the weekend….

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste
      • are there reporters chasing them?

      • bookish

        RNC?

        • [shrug]
          Looks like it.

      • jodyleek

        I just read an article the other day that said rat populations are increasing and will only increase with global warming. They don’t know exactly how to stop the increase because they don’t have a handle on how to determine the number of rats currently or how much it will increase in the future. Ain’t that grand?!? You get bubonic plague and you get bubonic plague. Everyone gets bubonic plague. Weeeeeeee!!!

    • P’jama Pahnts

      I’m a-smokin’ some meat this weekend. Gettin’ my redneck on.

  • Nounverb911
  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Jesus, Comey handed Trump the fucking election on a silver platter. Now he’s the bad guy because he didn’t put Killary in prison? These motherfuckers will never quit.

    • cmd resistor

      Lindsey Graham is once again concerned. For a couple of creeps who decided that Merrick Garland would not be confirmed without talking to him at all, they have some nerve, and they should just shut up.

  • cmd resistor

    So I knew as soon as I read that nothing story about Comey yesterday that the wingnuts and Trump would be all over it. It would be nice if the reasonable people could come up with a nice little counter explanation that would shut them up instead of getting drawn down into their vortex of stupid. It could easily be the case that most of the investigation up to a certain point was leaning a certain way, pending the interviews. It’s not like they said, ok, we don’t have to interview anyone. But that’s how it will be spun by the lying creepy republicans.

    • bbayliss

      Futile effort.

    • Not Flat – ROUND!

      “lying, creepy, republicans” is extremely redundant, kinda like cute, warm, kittens but with evil, hatred and narcissism issues.

  • Nounverb911
  • Robert Mueller is scraping the crap off Trump’s tax returns now that he’s working with the IRS Criminal Investigations unit. I wonder what he’ll find?

    Did you know hookers are not a tax deductible expense? Not many people know that.

    For some strange reason.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c7529d59aef428fc19c114ad9c1672a16853a77679b009e7e7c83400ce868fc7.png

    Because they don’t try to deduct piss hookers as business expenses

    • Ghenghis McCann

      A tax lawyer? I’m shocked.

    • Not Flat – ROUND!

      If the idiot had a “log” of his prostitute (service providers – HAAHAHAHA) usage, why isn’t his ass in jail?

    • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

      $120K in hookers? Mother of God!

      The problem is that they didn’t issue any receipts, so he stole a receipt pad from Goodwill….

  • Mr. Blobfish

    …Breitbart “appeals to a broad spectrum of conservative readers.” The KKK and the Nazis.

    • RMKH

      And 3%ers and Bundyites and Freemen. So you can add 0.002 percent of the populace to your estimate.

    • From Russia with Love

      People who listen primarily to country AND western.

      • Bob Newhart once said : I don’t care for country western myself, but I don’t want to disparage those who do. And those of you who do like country western, “disparage” means “put down”.

        • From Russia with Love

          lol!

  • Bill D. Burger

    Well, at least now it’s out in the open. KKKris KKKobach doesn’t represent or work for the people of Kansas, he works for Breitbart…..or is that a ‘potato’ …. ‘potaah-toe’ thingy?

    [Kris Kobach’s new job: Columnist for Breitbart
    BY BRYAN LOWRY
    blowry@kcstar.com

    AUGUST 31, 2017 5:56 PM

    Kansas Secretary of State Kris Kobach is now a regular columnist on the far-right news site run by President Donald Trump’s former chief strategist.

    Kobach, a candidate for Kansas governor who is running on a platform of combating illegal immigration, published his first article for Breitbart.com in June — a piece that tied refugees to terrorism.

    He has published six more pieces since then and more are on the horizon. Kobach, who previously hosted a talk radio show in Kansas City, said Breitbart approached him about writing a regular column in June.]

    http://www.kansascity.com/news/politics-government/article170581152.html

  • Babushka Misha

    Hi

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Hi

    • Maclare 🌒

      Yo

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      Здравствуйте

    • RMKH

      Hiya

    • Hi, I’m new here – what’s the topic?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Back atcha!

    • From Russia with Love

      Not yet, but it’s nearly 5PM.

  • Panika MCD

    Harvey updates:

    on the plus side, taco trucks are opening back up in Houston.

    on the minus side, a rumor about gas shortages went around yesterday leading to actual gas shortages all over the state.

    taking Jazzy to adoption events today and tomorrow. cross your fingers that we can find Our Lady of the Special Farts a furever home complete with play buddy and a pet door to a secure back yard.

    • taco truck in Houston:

      “hey, this is great… what’s in this?”
      “rabbit”
      “RABBIT?”
      “yes, I go railroad track, get rabbit”
      “WHAAT?”
      “I call them… they say ‘meow'”

  • Mr. Blobfish

    How will trump make the aftermath of Harvey worse today? Let’s watch.

    • P’jama Pahnts

      It’s a target rich environment. Women, children, poors, immigrants, elderly, the environment, the english language…who knows what’s in the crosshairs for this weekend?

      • RMKH

        AOT,K

        • RMKH

          Oops, Panika beat me to it.

      • little miss high and mighty

        langur baby season start

      • Not Flat – ROUND!

        Sanity?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Complain about a homeless infant being disruptive. He’s got a real touch with the little ones.

    • Panika MCD

      AOT,K.

    • I’m waiting for him to say “I get only the biggest storms”

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Clearly, the problem is worse than I thought. Harvey came from the Gulf of Mexico after all. In addition to the Wall, we need the Roof!”
      — Donald Trump

  • bookish

    Those are the most adorable little babies.

    • BrendaKay

      I love their little curious faces!

  • La forza del resistino

    Sheriff Clarke to get a gig at the WH? Ben Carson says backoff, I already have that job.

  • stumpknocker

    oh and lets not forget steven mnuchin said he has no plans to put Hariet Tubman on the 20 dollar bill, said he was too busy dealing with national security to deal with changing the 20. translation, no way in hell will my boss allow a person of color to be on any currency.

    • Daniel

      Well, people he might. He has an African-American, remember? But we’re not talking about a person- we’re talking about a woman.

      • little miss high and mighty

        look how they messed Susan B and Scajueya on their coins.
        American cash handlers rejected those, not bureaucrats.
        We cannot abide our wimminfolk jangling around down in that pocket area- too emascualting or something.

        • BeachBum

          I guess I’m weird. I actually don’t mind wimminfolk jangling around down there if they don’t break anything.

    • bupkus231

      “…he was too busy dealing with national security…” ???

      That makes my individual security feel nice and warm, knowing tha the Treasury Secretary is work on national security….

  • Bill D. Burger

    “Why haven’t we investigated her emails and Benghazi! We need to look into those ASAP. She also kidnapped the Lindbergh baby. …blah, blah, blah….”

    https://twitter.com/LawyerRogelio/status/903610838417895425

    • Not Flat – ROUND!

      No No – the Lindbergh baby was fake news, dontcha know.

    • cmd resistor

      Yeah, but where was HILLARY!!!1! last week? Working the weather machine that caused Harvey.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Emails? Look at the one I got from Mike Pence.

      ASSIGNED BY THE PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP….. OVERDUE FUND RELEASED TODAY

      I am Mike Pence, and I am writing to inform you about your Bank Check
      Draft brought back by the United Embassy from the government of Benin
      Republic in the white house Washington DC been mandated to be deliver to
      your home address once you reconfirm it with the one we have here with us
      to avoid wrong delivery of your check draft

      Eighteen million united states dollars $18,000,000,00usd that was assigned
      to be delivered to your humble home address by Honorable president Donald
      Trump the president of this great country this week by a delivery agent MR. Benson Williams

      Also reconfirm your details for the check delivery by filling the form
      below and send it immediately to our .org in for verification and for
      prompt collection of your fund.

      Fill The Form Below:

      1. Full Names :
      2. Residential Address :
      3. Mobile Number:
      4. Fax Number :
      5. Occupation :
      6. Sex :
      7. Age :
      8. Nationality :
      9. Country :
      10. Marital Status :

      Accept my hearty congratulation again!

      Yours Sincerely,
      MR MIKE PENCE
      vice-president USA
      1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW, Washington, DC 20500, United States

      • Not Flat – ROUND!

        LOL – never got past the first line “I am Mike Pence”, the guy is a religious idiot but he ain’t Forest Gump (unfortunately!).

      • phoenix00

        Oh this one’s GOOD! Might have actually come from the Orange Grifter himself!

    • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

      “I have secret recordings of Killary – you mind if I call her that? – admitting that she believes it’s not butter…”

  • Tzipora Kaplan

    srs journalism question: WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LATE NIGHT ROUNDUPS MY DUDE?

    • Maclare 🌒

      Well, Fallon and Meyers are on break.

  • SayItWithWookies

    I’ll bet everyone who’s disturbed by Kris Kobach’s nationalized voter purge will feel completely reassured by his writing for a Nazi website. Because enfranchised voters are the real master race, nein?

    • Not Flat – ROUND!

      9?

      • Not Flat – ROUND!

        Had to add “?” as apparently you need at least 2 characters to post – who are the fascists now?

      • Rags

        IX

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
    • bookish

      Bullshit Texas is healing. They’re still pulling bodies out of the water.

      • BeachBum

        Texas wont heel for 20 years.

      • Ms.Moon

        Right now everyone should be worrying about water borne infections, cholera and mosquito viruses.

    • NotDarkYet

      General Honore seems to disagree.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Man who has not done jack shit, says what?

  • Will Texas learn the meaning of pooling resources for use by people who haven’t the means to recover from tragedy?

    How about collecting money from the rich we protect from terrorists, for defense against disease, age, homelessness and hunger?

  • Beanz&Berryz

    That Salt Lake City cop thing just chaps my… That guy needs jail time, in addition to losing his job and his cop certification. Arresting someone for refusing to carry-out an illegal act is beyond the pale. That guy needs to be far, far away from policing power, after he does his time… A warrant or arrest the guy… and he chooses to arrest her! He couldn’t arrest the guy, because he had no probably cause, so all he needed was a warrant…

    Fuck that guy… oh, and personal suit that drains the fucker’s pension fund and house equity so he’s working at a gas station til he dies would be OK too…

    • Dutchman

      Additionally, he’s an ambulance driver for some service. During the recordings he’s heard to say that he’ll only bring transients to this particular hospital and take the “good” patients elsewhere.

      He should be stripped of every certification, license and position that he holds. My stabbiness is at Code Orange after watching this.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        And jail time. The fucker needs jail time.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Why ya’ trying to close it down, Repuke? Huh? Talk to us.’
    bwwwahhahhahhaahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

    [HOT TOPIC GOP Congressman Gets Hit with investigation After Trying to Shutdown Robert Mueller
    BypmorganPublished on August 31, 2017

    Republican Congressman Ron DeSantis introduced a provision aimed at undermining Robert Mueller’s ability to thoroughly investigate Trump and Russia’s inappropriate relationship. The provision would put a limit on Mueller’s funding and the scope that he’s able to look into. It’s no wonder he’s introduced this since DeSantis is now under investigation himself.]

    http://www.bluedotdaily.com/gop-congressman-gets-hit-with-investigation-after-trying-to-shutdown-robert-mueller/

    • when you’re on your way to the gallows, you make friends with the only other people you can talk to.

    • bupkus231

      While I’m pretty sure that something can be found against DeSantis ( he’s a Florida Republican after all ) – this “investigation” is not being done by any “official’ law enforcement or ethics operation – so, don’t get your hopes up

      • Permit-holder Ron

        Still, it’s gotta be getting under his skin.

  • stumpknocker

    harvey formed over Kenya, think about it, we all know whose fault this is.

    • Not Flat – ROUND!

      Does it start with “O”?

  • Houston is in the crotch hairs of socialism.

  • I say FIRE KELLY STAT.

    An unleased Trump is far more entertaining than Nanny-Cam Trump.

    That’s all this is about, right? Entertainment?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/80132fca3b1fe829f41b47e8edb1b9e6d9bf6a70cecf43ef418317a8f00a8798.gif

  • little miss high and mighty

    we loves us some langurs.

  • cmd resistor

    So Comey’s friend Benjamin Wittes says get a real life.
    “This may come as a shock to Grassley and Graham and Trump, but judges sometimes do a memo/draft about an opinion before oral argument,” he wrote on Twitter.
    http://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/348827-comey-friend-fires-back-at-trump-smart-people-think-ahead-and

    • Not Flat – ROUND!

      So someone investigating Hillary jumped the gun and basically said it was repub horseshit.

      HE DESERVES A MEDAL FOR HONESTY AND INTEGRITY, now watch the repubs try to do everything in their power to make him look bad – where is the justice.

      Justice – Just Ice – what Trumpy really wants.

      • Zyxomma

        In Trumpworld justice = just us (rich white guys).

    • TundraGrifter

      Reminds me of how Mr. Trump thought Sec. Clinton was cheating by actually preparing for a debate. Why is it a surprise that someone in an important position would prepare, in advance?

      Remember – on the morning of D-Day, Gen. Eisenhower carried in his pocket a brief statement taking full responsibility for the failure of the invasion.

      • Not Flat – ROUND!

        C’mon that’s beyond the Orange Presidente, Trumpy wouldn’t take the blame for farting in an elevator let alone fucking the entire nation up.
        In his brain (HA) it’s all Hillary or Obama’s fault (even for the size of his dick!).

        • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

          El President Naranja, to you, Señor.

      • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

        Didn’t know that about Ike.

        • TundraGrifter

          “Our landings in the Cherbourg-Havre area have failed to gain a satisfactory foothold and I have withdrawn the troops. My decision to attack at this time and place was based upon the best information available. The troops, the air and the navy did all that bravery and devotion to duly could do. If any blame or fault is attached to the attempt it is mine alone.”

    • M.E. Lawrence

      I found it puzzling, the way the MSM carried on about Comey’s post-interview-with-the-Con notes. OF COURSE he took notes. It’s a professional thing to do, especially after a weird conversation: document, document, document.

  • TundraGrifter

    Back in the 19th Century, Black Bart robbed the Wells, Fargo stage coaches. Today, Wells Fargo robs you!

    At least Charles E. Bolton had the grace to leave a little poetry behind in the empty treasure box:

    “I’ve labored long and hard for bread
    For honor and for riches.
    And on my corns too long you’ve tred
    You fine-haired sons of bitches.”

  • BeachBum

    Rant of the Day: Re: The people against DACA. IMHO, they are mostly jealous of those willing to take hard working, low paying jobs, to essentially better their children’s lives. Education is, of course the key for their future. Too many white middle class Americans do want to have to compete for a seat in college, compete for a decent paying job, but think they are entitled to them. Add the fact that many newcomers do not give up their culture, language, customs, religion, or even food and clothes, and there may be (is) some prejudice involved. I am sickened that I could mention skin color so I wont. America First is mostly a poor ass cover for the old Nativism “Irish need not apply” we seem to not get away from.
    OK, I’m done for today. Maybe. Have to see what the Fri NIte News Dump is.

    • M.E. Lawrence

      “Add the fact that many newcomers do not give up their culture, language, customs, religion…” Some native-born citizens do not give up these things. In fact, my great-grandmother, born c.1844 in Indiana to Bavarian immigrants, considered Gerrman her mother tongue, and much preferred it to English. But, you know, she was white, and well–she was just charmingly eccentric, right?

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        The church I went to growing up did services in German until 1917. They only stopped becuase of the US entry into World War 1. But of course its only non white people who have to assimilate.

      • Querolous

        Most of my mothers ancestors came over from Sweden in the 1830’s. She and my grandmother would converse in Swedish whenever they wanted to say something that they did not want my grandfather, father or myself to understand. I could not have been more than two at this time. I didn’t find this out until one evening a fine young lady and I were watching a movie that was in French/German/English and Swedish. Both of us were laughing at the jokes in French/German and English. She asked me afterwards why I was also laughing at the Swedish jokes and I couldn’t answer. Later I mentioned this to my mother and she turned beet red. I forgot to mention that all of the jokes were sexual or scatological.

  • foiled again

    You…you vacation-taking vacation-takers…!

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Arresting a nurse for refusing to hand over blood without a warrant. Jesus H. Christ. These fucking people.

    • Bitter Scribe

      For some reason that story enrages me more than any I’ve seen in weeks. I cannot bring myself to watch the video or I’ll pop a blood vessel.

      • Dutchman

        Having watched the 19+ minute video I would concur with your decision.

    • Ms.Moon

      People of colour in the United States could have told everyone that this was coming. It is here and now everyone who is not police will be under their boot and be paying for it with their own money.

    • Alexander Stallwitz

      Our slide into a police state continues. Its only going to get worse, we are rapidly reaching the point where we wont have a police force. We will have a pacifying force whose sole purpose is to keep the population in check. The inner city is already this way. Its spreading to the rest of america now. God help us all.

      • Querolous

        All those 2nd Amendment types are in for a rude awakening.

        • Alexander Stallwitz

          I bet suddenly they wouldnt be gungho Police supporters anyway.

          • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

            Well, Police are great when they’re going after….”Those People.”

        • Frank Underboob

          They’re white; they’ll be fine. :/

          • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

            Yes, but then no. Things can devolve into a “you’re not me, thus I’m better than you” state. Someone pointed out a similar hierarchy within military vets: You didn’t serve? Fuck you. You served but weren’t deployed? Fuck you. You were deployed but weren’t on the front line? Fuck you. You were on the front line, but didn’t get shot? and so on…

          • Frank Underboob

            You’re missing my point, which is that the police state won’t be shitting on the “2nd amendment types”.

    • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

      I wonder if that’s going to be a tipping point. The cops and the cop-blowers like to yell “Well, then call a crackhead the next time you need help.” Now, it can be countered with “Well, call a cop the next time you need someone to push a fucking IV.”

  • Zyxomma

    I’d say the adorable langur babies make me feel languorous, but it ain’t true. They make me SQUEEEE!

    • thewendyb

      And they are GOLDEN cuties.

  • Apropos for the “church lady” topic :)

    Aren’t you impressed with my inexhaustible humor and wry ripostes? I mean, even if you *do* have a huge broomstick up your ass at someone who doesn’t play the game exactly the way you want,.

    I’ve been a moderator for 12 years, and you guys take the cake for petty tyrants. :)

    “been here for years, and I met Trixie and Huey.. and Poppa dog *in person*” :)

  • thewalkindude

    A sharp dig?

    Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., took a sharp dig at President Trump in an op-ed published Thursday night urging Congress to take respectful action when lawmakers reconvene from recess next week.

    “Congress must govern with a president who has no experience of public office, is often poorly informed and can be impulsive in his speech and conduct,” the 2008 Republican presidential nominee wrote in the Washington Post.

  • Dutchman

    The State of Texas needs to erect a monument to “Random Average Dude with a Bass Boat”

    I’ve now shamelessly stolen that from a Book of Faces post.

    • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

      Waiting for the “4WD truck with 15 inches of lift and 48″ tires” statue…

  • BMW
    • You can’t beat a dead horse; you can only turn it into hamburger.

  • Canis Greyhame

    Don’t forget, it wasn’t just a trip to Kentucky for Mnuchin, they were specifically going to sit on the roof of Fort Fucking Knox to watch the eclipse. They literally wanted to be sitting on top of a massive pile of gold. He probably did some kind of naked Scrouge McDuck impression for Barbie Antionette while they were at it.

  • thewendyb

    Golden monkey babies!
    What brilliantly adorable cousins we have!

  • Permit-holder Ron

    TBH I don’t blame Not Americans for not wanting to give money to US charities for Harvey relief. They no doubt assume (rightly) that much/most of that money will just end up in Donnie’s pocket.

  • Cornelius Fussbudget

    I love the argument that since Trump is able to hire and fire, it can never be illegal. That means, since I can knock someone’s teeth out with a rusty crowbar, it can’t be illegal either! This new legal theory opens up so many possibilities!!!111!!!1!

  • The Librarian

    Mr. Munchin and his bridezilla aren’t so good at this fakery, um I mean fuckery yet.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    ISIS has lost another city to US-backed Kurdish, Arab and Iraqi forces, after hundreds of ISIS fighters opted to surrender to the Kurds rather than get killed by the Iraqi military.

    I would never fuck with the Kurds.

    Of course, there are some Kurdish soldiers I’d certainly like to fuck with me.

  • BelmontPublicLibrary

    I had no idea it was possible to have teeth the same colour as your face.

    • phoenix00

      Ask any white person with far too much teeth whitener.

  • Cheri Sears

    I watched the whole Langur baby video. Because of feels.

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