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With XOJane gone, it seemed only natural that some site, somewhere, would pick up their “It Happened To Me” beat — but who would have thought that site would be the MRA/PUA/SOB site Return of Kings?

Up on their front page right now is the article I screencapped above, tragicomically titled “I Was Attacked By An Elderly Swedish Woman For Putting My Girlfriend In Her Place,” in which contributor William Adams recounts the harrowing tale of how a 50-year-old (old as the hilllls!) woman confronted him when he was merely standing on the street, yelling at his girlfriend about how she needs to listen to him. Un…fair?

If you are not familiar with Return of Kings from our various jaunts to the manosphere, it is at this point that I should probably explain that these dolts have basically LARPed themselves a bizarre and misogynistic alternate reality that is completely divorced from the actual world the rest of us live in. They think they are “kings” and that women are supposed to treat them as such, so it is very upsetting for them when they find that their behavior is not actually considered acceptable by normal people.

The actual essay itself is bad. Like, structurally bad, apart from anything else. He starts out by talking about how he was mad at his girlfriend because she wanted to leave an outing with his friends early because she was drunk, that she wanted to take a cab for the same reason, and then that she dared to ask him for his coat when he had competed in some kind of Tough Mudder-esque competition earlier that day.

She then consequently asserted that she wanted to borrow my (stylish) jacket, but I was annoyed and didn’t want to lend it to her in that particular situation. The same day I had competed in the Tough Viking contest, which consists of 15 kilometers of running and about 30 more or less physically demanding obstacles. The competition includes swimming and wading in fairly cold water, as well as crawling through thick layers of mud. I thought that if I can do that then she could walk a short distance and realize what it feels like in a very light version.

His jacket was stylish, you guys. In case you were not clear on that. He is a very fashionable misogynist!

He then went further into detail about what a horrible person he is and why no woman on earth should ever date him.

Additionally, I thought that if she occasionally associates with my male friends, then she should talk to us on more equal terms and not be afraid of some realtalk. So while listening to her complaints I raised my voice and semi-yelled that if she would have listened to me in the first place we would not have to walk outside and would already be home by now.

It is at this point that he encounters said Swedish woman. Now, from the title of the article you might think she physically attacked him, but no! Actually she just called him an Ass Hat for yelling at his girlfriend like that and tried to do Cultural Marxism to him. Which I guess seems like a physical attack if your masculinity is somehow that fragile.

Meeting us on the sidewalk, then about 200 meters from home, a middle-aged woman suddenly shows up. She stops next to me and starts yelling directly in my face. Although she looks normal, she unhesitatingly manifests her dislike for my behavior. My girl has started to cry a bit, not atypical behavior for her subspecies. This is about to get worse, I thought, in the glimpse of an eye.

The 50-something bitch sees this and engages in another attack, after I have tried to walk past her in an attempt to ignore and move on. She threatens to “wrestle me to the ground” and calls me an “ass hat,” all while standing two inches from me, looking hostile. She refrains from doing so but does not listen when I stress that it is neither her nor anyone else’s business, and the entire situation is taken out of context too for that matter.

RANDOM SWEDISH WOMAN FTW! Seriously, it is very cool and bad ass of anyone to actually put their own safety at risk in order to help someone in this kind of situation, which a lot of people would have just ignored.

Adams then compares himself to Gandhi — who, coincidentally, was also pretty crappy to the women in his life. (But, you know, the rest of the time was Gandhi, not this pathetic dick.)

The “conversation” continues for another five to ten minutes and like Gandhi I stoically remain calm. She gabbles her last feminist tenets, hugs my girlfriend, and suggests that she should leave me. Her mission is almost completed. The woman then adds that there is still something good in me and I do not have to be an ass hat. I can change. Then she left. Probably I will remain an ass hat, though, at least as it is understood from the lens of a Cultural Marxist madame.

Yes, it is very, very clear that he fully intends to remain an ass hat!

The lesson to be learned from this encounter, he surmises, is that he did the right thing by not beating that random woman up just to “teach her a lesson.” Or something. He explained some more in the comments on the post, when someone suggested he dump his girlfriend for not having shown him the respect he was due:

This is secondarily a question of being childish and not trusting a man to make proper decisions, and primarily about how to respond to anti-male attacks.

Several in the comment section, including proprietor and rape advocate Roosh V, lamented the “fact” that women can call 911 if their feelings are hurt:

Better you were confronted by a grandmother than the police. As long as a woman can call 911 when her feelings are hurt, we are not able to exert our pimp hand (short of violence) to train or punish her in the appropriate way. This is why it’s a good idea to record any fight you have with a girl. A simple tablet left on the kitchen table can do the trick.

EXERT OUR PIMP HAND. Right. Why oh why would anyone not want them to “exert their pimp hand” in order to “train or punish” a woman in the “appropriate way”? So weird! It’s almost like people who are not fully immersed in the culture of the manosphere consider that to be an abhorrent thing to even suggest.

However, many of the commenters asserted that they would, indeed, physically assault a woman for daring to interfere with them while they are trying to verbally abuse their girlfriends. You know, the girlfriends they all definitely have in real life, who are totally cool with them exerting their pimp hands.

I think it is okay morally to also slap a woman hard in that situation and to mace her down if she doesn’t get the hint you do not want to interact with her. It’s not legally so, but if I see someone slapping a woman around hard for doing exactly what the OP is writing about, I will turn a blind eye. If it gets legal I will make sure everybody knows it was self defense.

Others said they would dump the girlfriend for having allowed the woman to disrespect him in the first place, to which Adams responds:

My girlfriend is from a relatively traditional country. She is generally really sweet and I don’t wanna go in to depth about that anymore here. This is an example of AWALT, I think, and she think that she needs respect and dislikes a raised voice.

AWALT, by the way, is manosphere slang for “All Women Are Like That.”

The real lesson to be learned here, aside from the fact that meninists are terrible writers and that Swedish woman is a bad ass, is that misogynists are absurdly fragile. Seriously — what kind of person writes an entire essay about how they felt “attacked” because someone called them an “ass hat” and didn’t let them berate their girlfriend in peace?

But — although this makes them laughable to some degree when they’re going on about how tough and manly they are — this is also what makes them dangerous and abusive. This is the kind of fragility that kills. I think there is a serious danger, frankly, in these communities making these kinds of men even more dangerously fragile than they already are — by teaching them that they are entitled to a world that they are not ever going to actually get.

[Return of Kings]

My water bill is gonna skyrocket from the Silkwood shower I’m gonna need to take after wading through this shit. So feel free to drop some $$$ in our tip jar!

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  • Msgr_MΩment

    Return of Kings? More like Return of Drama Queens, amirite?

    • CeeQ

      Ugh bitch you totally win, I was struggling for a snarky come back to that idiot blog name hahahahahaha

  • DerrickWildcat

    All those movies were the same.

  • Nounverb911

    When does trump hire him?

  • cheetojeebus

    Stephen Miller has a girlfriend?

  • Msgr_MΩment

    The woman then adds that there is still something good in me and I do not have to be an ass hat. I can change. Then she left.

    Yeah, I’m calling bullshit here. This story would have necessitated him actually listening to a member of her “subspecies” and remembering what she said.
    I’m not buying it.

    • The whole thing gives off a “Dear Penthouse” vibe and makes me wonder about Adams’ fetishes. Then I very quickly stop myself from thinking about those.

    • ManchuCandidate

      You’d think the 15km of running and obstacle courses would be a dead giveaway.

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    I thought Roger Ailes was dead.

    • CriticalDragon1177

      He is, but his intellectual offspring live on.

  • These boys would be so much happier if they just dated each other.

    • FauxAntocles

      We’d all be much happier.

    • OutOfOrbit

      The slap-fights would be YOOGE!

    • Vincent Ricola

      They could swap their stylish jackets among each other and never have to worry about some annoying chic asking to borrow them ever again.

      • CB

        Lol! When your jacket is more important to you than your “girlfriend”, you might just be Gay…

        …and also, it’s doubtful any of it happened.

        …besides Mr. Ass Hat being a closet case, of course.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I’ve said it before, but: Jesus! These MRA types are waaaaaay more concerned with impressing other men than even I am, and I’m actually, you know, gay.

      • CeeQ

        I’m willing to bet a lot of these MRA types are deeply closeted and hate themselves. Hence the over compensating hyper macho bullshit.

  • freakishlypersistent

    Pro tip, laydeez, if your fella wants you to accompany him to a “Tough Viking” competition, point, laugh and run, run fast in the other direction.

  • Mahousu

    It sounds like he’s more afraid of “realtalk” than his girlfriend was.

  • Michael Smith

    There is a danger, yes. And its using the internet to find like-minded sociopaths who help you build a psuedo-scientific mythology around whatever bullshit prejudice you’ve developed for yourself. Same thing with white supremacists.

    Also, I see that he has a Foreign Woman. But she was still insolent by getting drunk and wanting to leave? Man, the cancer of feminism must be spreading to these Traditional Countries. I hope it speeds up.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    What says “master race alpha male he-man” more than the ability to wade through “fairly cold water”?

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Fairly retracted testicles?

    • Oblios_Cap

      Thank god it wasn’t tepid, merely slightly gelid.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Maybe that’s all he could afjord.

        • Shanzgood

          That made me giggle.

    • I’ll bet this guy wouldn’t be caught dead washing dishes, though.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Don’t forget the more or less physically demanding obstacles.

  • tza

    Yeah, if a guy ever refers o women as a separate species of human or a “subspecies” RUN FOR THE FUCKING HILLS. It is the biggest sign that hey do not consider women human at all.

    • foreign agitator Captain Kraut

      “But, m’lord, they’re coming from the hills…”.

  • Gigglesnort

    Women are a “subspecies?” WTF?

    • Shanzgood

      Yeah, that made me yell out loud.

      • Oblios_Cap

        I guess we know what they think of darker skinned individuals.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        “No subspecies, no subspecies. You’re the subspecies!”?

    • puredog

      He can’t spell “untermensch.”

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Oh, man! That old lady was such a Hitler!

  • peteywheats
    • freakishlypersistent

      Chugging milk, the fuck is up with that? Cuz it’s white?

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Something to do with the sun people being lactose intolerant while the ice people can guzzle freely.

        • “Behold! I have a genetic mutation that lets me consume baby food!”

          • Shanzgood

            Ok you made me snort out loud.

        • sigyn

          Yeah, but that’s not something you can count on for your whole life-span.*
          I hope there’s a camera around when they learn that the hard way.

          *AKA: the sour cream incident.

  • A “Tough Viking” competition, eh? And here I can only impress women by shutting up and listening to them.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Maybe put on a little Wagner in the listening process?

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Is there some evidence that this is a ‘growing movement’ or something? Is that why Robyn regularly updates us on this bizarre Internet subculture?

    I don’t see any more guys like this – i.e., entitled, sexist assholes – these days than I used to. Maybe I should get out more?

    • bbayliss

      One is too many.

    • freakishlypersistent

      Maybe you shouldn’t..☺ Makes me want to never leave home..

    • Vincent Ricola

      I use these articles to teach my daughter who not to date.

      • OutOfOrbit

        no no no! reverse psychology: they will date those very idiots just to show you what’s what

        • Vincent Ricola

          I’ll just neg my daughter until she only listens to me.

          • OutOfOrbit

            she will show you that you are not the boss of her every fugging time!

        • Shanzgood

          Another reason why I’m glad my daughter is a lesbian.

    • spangled

      It’s been semi-growing I think. The most important thing about it is the overlap between these dudes and the “alt-right”.

      Lots of alt right figures were born from gamergate or various misogynist “movements”.

      It’s no coincidence that those tiki torch nazis were all young white men who were very scared of female and black male activists.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Hm. Food fr thought.

        • spangled

          Milo first gained attention through gamergate – even though he famously thought video games were dumb.

          Lots of people in the alt right are professional bad people -aka they will glom onto every shitty cause – be it racism/sexism/homophobia whatever.

          538 did a great breakdown of the crossover between hate subreddits and the trump one- https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/dissecting-trumps-most-rabid-online-following/

    • Shanzgood

      Yes, it’s a thing. Robyn keeps an eye on it for us.

      And it’s not just the alt-right white boys. There’s an overlap with the hotep guys as well.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        hotep? Like Bubba Ho-Tep?

        • Oblios_Cap

          Elvis in a walker.

        • Shanzgood

          I don’t know Bubba Ho-Tep is. You can google the other thing, though. It’s…o.O.

          • Oblios_Cap

            get da movie. It’s a hoot.

            http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0281686/

          • Antonin Dvorak

            Bubba Ho-Tep is a hilarious Bruce Campbell movie that is a send up of monster flicks.

          • Michael Smith

            It is actually a funny movie. A buddy of mine made me watch it. I was like “What’s this about?” He was like “A senile old guy who thinks he’s Elvis is in a retirement home, and is friends with another senile old guy who thinks he’s JFK. Then a zombie demon thing attacks the retirement home and they save the day.”

            I was like, “oh okay, yeah put it on.”

          • Shanzgood

            I’m gonna have to watch that with baconzgood. He’s a big Bruce Campbell fan. I mean, he even has an action figure of him. With a chainsaw.

        • chortlingdingo

          Oh I love that movie! It was so funny!

      • Michael Smith

        Ohh, so its like a mix of black nationalism with male dominance. Kind of like the “gods and earths” philosophy of the five percent nation.

    • Michael Smith

      Although I wouldn’t say its a growing movement, I think its influence is growing among conservatives.

      It is similar to how Fox News parrots Alex Jones’ conspiracy theories when they serve Fox’s agenda, but Fox leaves out things like “they are making the frogs gay,” because that is so silly that even Fox viewers would laugh – which is not what Fox wants them doing. Fox and other “mainstream” conservatives authorities never explain that things like Jade Helm and FEMA death camps originate from conspiracy loons – they just pluck them off the crazy tree and adopt them as their own. Then “mainstream” conservatives just add Jade Helm rumors to their general paranoia about the sinister intentions of the Obama government.

      So too here. Most “mainstream” conservative guys I know would laugh at this Return of Kings bullshit. They’d say a lot of the same stuff we say – “these guys are pitiful,” “if these guys are such he-men why do they spend their time blogging about the times that women hurt their feelings,” “oh my God did this guy really drop a lowkey brag about competing in some knock off Tough Mudder?” etc.

      But, unlike us, there are elements of this misogyny with which conservatives agree. Especially when you can combine with favorite Trumpist themes like “Political Correctness Run Amok,” or “Traditional Values Are Superior.” I have a friend who was a Trump supporter, but his support has cooled markedly as the rest of my group of friends has spent the last year mercilessly mocking Trump and going on groupchat rants about what an idiot he and his followers are. He’s occasionally complained to me about things that have subtle undertones of “Return of Kings”-like grievances.

      Its that sort of thing that I think makes it worthwhile to keep up with the manosphere. Although “mainstream” conservatives (the kind they claim they “aren’t political” but that voted for Trump and think people need to support our President) find something like Return of Kings to be baffling and ridiculous, when ROKesque ideas are presented by a conservative pundit on Fox, they are more receptive even though they don’t know where the original thoughts came from.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Who’s a Tough Viking? You are, you little snookums, yes you are.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Gee, he sounds swell.

    which consists of 15 kilometers of running and about 30 more or less physically demanding obstacles.

    I guess having the runs for 15 klicks and then having to jump over speed bumps is enough to make anybody cranky.

  • ManchuCandidate

    What they imagine themselves to be:
    http://i.imgur.com/CNSmS13.gif

    What they really are:
    http://www.gifbin.com/bin/072011/1310121691_game_of_thrones_tyrion_lannister_slaps_prince_joffrey.gif
    Deserved to get slapped silly by everyone not a thin skinned twunt.

    • CeeQ

      So. True.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Actual footage of the Tough Viking contest: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5ba1OKY7Xc

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      When I first saw this on PBS as a kid, I was literally on the floor laughing.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Yup. MP is the first grown-up, helpless laughter at grown-up (or kind of grown-up) humor that I can remember. It was the Spam sketch.

      • P’jama Pahnts

        I played the “I like Chinese” song for my teenagers yesterday. We were all cracking up.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    “Kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit….”

  • WotsAllThisThen

    This essay was indeed bad, structurally and otherwise, and then got worse, “in the glimpse of an eye.”

    • Oblios_Cap

      Or the stomp of a hat.

      • puredog

        Or the stomp of an ass hat.

  • Oblios_Cap

    As long as a woman can call 911 when her feelings are hurt, we are not able to exert our pimp hand (short of violence) to train or punish her in the appropriate way.

    Train or punish? Hell, I don’t even try that with my dog, much less Ms. O.

  • Antonin Dvorak

    Should we tell them that the Vikings were surprisingly progressive and egalitarian; and offered more equality for their women then other contemporary cultures? Or should we let them be surprised?

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    However, many of the commenters asserted that they would, indeed, physically assault a woman for daring to interfere with them while they are trying to verbally abuse their girlfriends.

    1) Assumes girlfriend not in existence.
    2) Fine. Good luck explaining to a judge why you had to escalate to physical force rather than walk away. They love hearing how being harangued justifies a battery.

  • P’jama Pahnts

    Whenever I decide to do anything physically grueling I make sure the wife suffers a little too.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Like the way I wreck the bathroom after running a marathon. Seriously, don’t go in there.

      • P’jama Pahnts

        There’s also the “big sweaty hug” thing

    • Oblios_Cap

      Helps her learn empathy, obvs.

    • puredog

      You misspelled “little lady.”

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    I guess I haven’t drank enough coffee this AM, because I thought this is an Onion article……

  • Darlene Underdahl

    Those last two paragraphs as so true. Ambush predators. I had a Norwegian aunt that would have taken him down with a right to the jaw. Nobody messed with Mabel. She could also shoot, and ride a horse. My dad was SO proud of his big sister, but then, he wasn’t threatened by women.

    • freakishlypersistent

      A true “Tough Viking”..

  • Manders

    Is it possible to rage barf? Asking for a (urp) friend.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      *hands over bucket* Yes.

  • icekat

    “I was yelling at my girlfriend, which is good and just and righteous, and then some woman came along and yelled at ME, which is a horrifying assault.” Is that about the gist of it?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      “And now I’m whining about it on the Internet.”

      Yep, that’s pretty much it.

  • JMP

    “My girl has started to cry a bit, not atypical behavior for her subspecies.’

    ‘Subspecies’, that’s just – wow. The calling a grown-ass woman a “girl” thing is sadly all too common among the misogynist crowd, but referring to women as a ‘subspecies’, that’s really out there and telling.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Where’s a valkyrie when you need one?

  • Jenny

    Common for the sub species???
    Just because water isn’t coming out your eye holes doesn’t mean you aren’t a whiny ass crybaby.

    Whaaaaaaaaaa a lady had the nerve to confront me about my shitty behaviour. Waaaaaaaa – That whiny cuck.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      But she wanted his “stylish”* jacket!

      * And by “stylish” he probably means some crap leather number he overpaid for because of the name on the label.

  • FZsdaughter

    Knowing that these men are inevitably miserable and wretched creatures is a slight consolation, but I’d like to see many more Swedish women out there on the case as well. Stand by your sisters, even if they appear to be lame — you never know when they’ll finally snap out of it and escape the ass-hats of this world.

  • Ghenghis McCann

    My girlfriend is from a relatively traditional country

    A mail order bride? It explains how he has a girlfriend.

    • Darlene Underdahl

      My thought as well.

    • pstokk

      I was thinking more the Republic of Rubber People.

    • Bright Bart

      Asshatistan.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Are you sure she wasn’t Finnish? They all sort of look alike.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    OK, I’m outta here. I’ve gotta go exert my pimp hand on a cabinet drawer that just isn’t fitting quite right.

    • bbayliss

      Put it in it’s place.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Don’t let it talk back to you.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I’ll make sure to clear the shop of any lurking 50 year old Swedish women just in case.

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          *nods* There’s always a few of those around.

    • jodyleek

      Whatever you do, don’t give the drawer your stylish jacket!

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        It’s going to be a “more or less physically demanding” task, that much is for certain.

    • mailman27

      Handle this task correctly and it’ll be done in a glimpse of an eye!

  • jodyleek

    Acts like an entitled baby with his girlfriend, in public, making the situation far worse than it probably is. Gets bawled out by someone on the street because he’s acting like a jerk. Is TRIGGERED!! Oh, so triggered. Cries about it on the internet and complains to his friends. Uses confirmation bias to soothe his poor, poor fee-fees. Oh yes, Billy Boy, you are so manly!

    • Bobathonic

      “AWAY! to my innernetz safe space!”

      • jodyleek

        While sucking his thumb and grasping his stylish jacket, no doubt.

    • House0fTheBlueLights
      • Shanzgood

        The fuck is that!!! I’m dying! How did that even happen?!?!

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          I watch this at least twice a day.

      • Jenny

        Lol oh god!

        • Maggielle

          omg, some day I’m going to vote for her I hope I hope.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    “Realtalk” = schmucks mansplaining about women like they have a fucking clue.

    • Oblios_Cap

      How Orwellian.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      That sounds like some real talk.

    • weejee

      Perhaps most are schnorrers or schlemiels – don’t have the brains to make it to full-fledged schumuckdom.

  • Bobathonic

    Ugh, what a repellent dolt. I apologize for my “subspecies”.
    #AMAnotLT

  • How many school lunches will Harvey cost Texas?

    Will they increase the cost of books?

  • MynameisBlarney
    • weejee

      Barry accepted tRump’s pimp hand?

    • bbayliss

      “I know about the pee tape, donald.”

      • Bright Bart

        “and i now have pee on my hand and it will need washing. Whose fault is this? Oh yeah, me. Obama”

    • CeeQ

      Love it

  • Add a 100% tax on books – that’ll shift the burden onto the liberals!

  • MynameisBlarney

    For fucks sake.
    These MRA fucktards are goddamned tedious with their stupid fucking bullshit.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    So basically they went to a Sausage Party to see whose dick is bigger.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      None of them, Katie.

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    The competition includes swimming and wading in fairly cold water, as well as crawling through thick layers of mud. I thought that if I can do that then she could walk a short distance and realize what it feels like in a very light version.

    Aw fuck off you wimp. We call that a typical late fall here. If you are a tough guy, you can give her your stupid “stylish” jacket for the ride in the Uber.

    • Maggielle

      It sounds like everything he does contains some measure of cruelty. I wonder if anyone has pointed out to him that fornicating with a creature not of your own species is bestiality.

  • beatbort

    No wonder she was drunk and wanted to take a cab home…she had to be around his friends!! I’m surprised she wasn’t comatose with alcohol by the end of an evening.

  • cmd resistor

    OT, but Trump’s schedule today is quite hectic. THey left off the part about packing for his trip to Harvey Land tomorrow.
    schedule for Friday, September 1st:
    Daily intelligence briefing
    Phone call with President Nursultan Nazarbayev of Kazakhstan
    Update from disaster relief organizations on Hurricane Harvey recovery efforts

  • janecita

    My fucking God! I’m running on Diet Coke and four hours of sleep, I would literally, beat the living shit out of any men that dared to call me a “subspecies!” I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with his submissive idiot of a girlfriend, but she needs to look a that badass Swedish, woman and grow a pair!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      You go, girl. Break a few fingers off that ‘pimp hand” while you’re at it.

      • janecita

        He wouldn’t be pimping anymore, after I’m done with him.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Good thing Badass comes in smaller packages these days!

      • janecita

        Check out the idiots protesting outside the Green Day concert last night. Jersey’s own Westboro Church. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/10957ce431ea077a82c751a414899d5bf8e2d87626958b4a1822afafa8492760.jpg

        • Michael Smith

          dear mother can you hear me whining indeed

          • janecita

            Pathetic losers, my 13 year old daughter thought that they were hilarious.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Glad you only got four hours of sleep for a good reason. Billy Joe would slap the shit out of those douchebags.

          • janecita

            He told us to “punch a nazi,” I’m looking for
            one;-)

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Last time I saw Green Day, some lunkhead white power skins were knocking some of the skinny little punk kids around in the mosh pit. Billy Joe leapt off the stage into the pit, went nose to nose with them, told them to fuck off and get the fuck out of his show. I thought that was pretty cool.

          • janecita

            He hasn’t changed much in 25 years, he is still pretty badass.

        • jesterpunk

          How was the show?

          • janecita

            Amazing! We really enjoyed it.

          • jesterpunk

            I want to see them sometime, their shows always look awesome and a lot of fun.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            They are fun. I get a lot of shit from my punker-than-thou friends for liking them, but who cares?

          • janecita

            They secretly listen to them, and know every single song by heart anyway:-)

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            There’s this whole thing with that bunch…hate on them because they “make money” and people “buy their records”. You can only be punk rock if you play a free show for two people in some basement shithole with crappy equipment.

          • jesterpunk

            Show them The Armstrong band, it’s Tim from Rancid and Billie Joe from Green Day with a few other people. Then see what they say, Rancid is one of those bands just about every punk fan agrees is punk.

          • foreign agitator Captain Kraut

            Pfft. Punk rock with a holier than thou attitude is so inherently idiotic, it’s actually pretty punk.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          When are those guys gonna die off and go away already? Man am I bored with their schtick.

          …And I don’t like Westboro much either! Ba-dum pshh. Thanks, I’ll be here all week. Try the veal.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I’m assuming you mean the protesters and not Green Day…

          • Lance Thrustwell

            I wuz jokin about Green Day. But I don’t have anything against ’em, doan get me wrong.

          • janecita

            They keep on reproducing, they are here to stay.

          • Edith Prickly

            Mr Prickly took son of Prickly to see Green Day, and said they are absolutely kickass live.

          • NastyBossetti

            I see a lot of live music. It’s kind of like going to church for me. And I’ve never left a Green Day show feeling disappointed. Even last night, which was at an amphitheater: it was windy where I was and didn’t sound great, but it was still a great show. They are entertainers, and they’re good at their job.

        • jesterpunk

          “They wanna be an American idiot..’

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Yi-LvnM_5M

        • Shanzgood

          Amateurs.

          ~Kansas

        • NastyBossetti

          MrBossetti was like, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen protestors at a concert before.” He has really bad eyesight, and there were so few of these people that he was like, “Where? I can’t even see any protestors.” I had to point them out like 5 times!

          • janecita

            I never saw that before either.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      That’s a subspecies of an argument I can respect. Not specious, perhaps special? But specific at any rate.

    • jesterpunk

      My great grandmother would have beat him with her walker if she was still alive and around when that happened. She didn’t take any shit from anyone even when she was in her 90’s and could barely walk on her own.

      • janecita

        My 70 year old mom is the same way. She is scary:-)

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          I know the feeling.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        My mom generally uses her words. With devastating effects.

        • jesterpunk

          My great grandmother mostly talked but when someone tried to rob her she beat them with her walker and kept going to where she needed to get to.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            That’s the spirit!

    • NastyBossetti

      I am also running on four hours of sleep and fumes from the beer I spilled on myself last night. Green Day?

      • janecita

        Yes! Wasn’t that kid Andrew totally awesome?

        • NastyBossetti

          He was a rock star!

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Nothing takes the (stylish) off a jacket like girl cooties.”
    A second grader An MRA

    • sassandahalf

      Win!

  • Jenny

    Why is this dude whining about having to take care of his submissive partner? What did he think was going to happen?

    Take away the autonomy and ta da completely reliant on you for everything just like you wanted!

    Don’t complain about it now buddy. It is your job to get her a jacket. Dumbass.

  • P’jama Pahnts

    Wait…confronted by a Swedish woman? After a Viking event? Has a girlfriend? This story is so made up.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      The Swede probably just called him an asshole and walked away. Pussypants made up the rest to make his life interesting.

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        Next version she’s a Marxist feminist Valkyrie.

        • laineypc

          I like to imagine her as Brienne.

          • Shanzgood

            She makes me not entirely confident regarding my sexual orientation.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “That shield maiden frightened me.”
      — A very manly Viking with a (stylish) cloak

  • Bill D. Burger

    Taking a piss is a cosmopolitan venture:
    The need arises: You’re Russian
    You get to the toilet: European
    It’s over: You’re Finnish

    Wrong! In so many ways, I know.

    Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d374f9b79ca65e4b05f8160b7199c0ce39b665703d1730e0d5221bc13632e508.jpg

  • SayItWithWookies

    He wouldn’t even give her his jacket because it was too stylish for him to let go of? What a loser. Dude – give her the jacket, get in the cab with her and see her safely to her door, then go back and party with your pals. Conan the Barbarian is under fantasy for a reason, ass hat.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      A man who refers to his jacket as stylish and refuses to give it to a woman who asks for it, it just hopeless all the way around.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    My girlfriend is from a relatively traditional country.

    She totally exists though. It’s traditional for girlfriends to exist there, not like here. Her name…umm, it’s uh…George Glass.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Funny…I feel like projectile vomiting for a few hours after reading that.

  • NotDarkYet

    Wow, that is some weird (ass hat) writing style. They all seem to do it, though. A kind of Borg collective style…?

    I’ve encountered it a few times in my Prof Writing classes and always wondered where students had picked it up/were taught to write that way. I could never “break” them of it, unfortunately. I got hammered in the end-of-semester evals and on rate my professor (no, I don’t look at those any more! :))

    • Just imagine soon we’ll be getting whole concrete block-sized navel gazing novels written in this style.

      • NotDarkYet

        The only thing that MIGHT prevent that from happening is that they are also not enthusiastic writers, i.e. they can do a short sprint like a post on a forum, but not a marathon like a novel.

        Even a short research memo resulted in wailing and gnashing of teeth (and tricks like margin manipulation and font fuckery).

        • I wonder if you took a few hundred of those forum posts from different posters and different alt-right sites and strung them together randomly you’d have the ‘MODERN MALE NOVEL!’ of the decade.

          • NotDarkYet

            And what it lacks in character development, style, or plot it’ll make up in never-seen-before cry-baby whinyness (my spellcheck suggested “whiteness” here!).

          • See you folks later.

            I’m off to write the GRATE AMURICUN NAVEL!

            Working title: A Confederacy of Asshats

          • NotDarkYet

            Cut ‘n paste, cut ‘n paste … repeat until you’ve got ca. 200 pages. We’ll expect you back here in about 3 hours (allowing for at least 2 hours to get over nausea/vomiting due to exposure to alt-brown swill)? :)

          • Shanzgood

            Dick lit.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Rate my Professor. All the credibility of Yelp, without the tasty food.

      • NotDarkYet

        O.k. I admit it: I laughed out so loud, I scared the cats!

        Thanks, I needed that.

    • NastyBossetti

      I used to go on rate my professor to try to counteract the extremely stupid reviews people would put on there. It would make me so mad to see some of the ridiculous shit the other students would write, like one prof I had was given a low review because he was “obviously gay,” which is a thing that in no way interferes with his ability to teach English Lit and may not have been true (not that it should matter even remotely).

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Do Swedes even know about ass hat?

  • Ghenghis McCann

    ‘The same day I had competed in the Tough Viking contest’ Did you complete the whole thing, or give up when the water got too cold for you?

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
    • blarg

      Yeah, that double negative is really pissing me off too. Talk about subspecies!

  • Nockular cavity

    “TOUGH VIKING” PUT IN PLACE BY ACTUAL VIKING LADY

  • Hasn’t that ass hat ever seen any of those Swedish crime series?

    These are a people to be feared.

  • msgypsy

    So he was participating in a “Viking” event and was subsequently harassed by a Swedish woman for berating and verbally abusing a woman. What part of irony does he need explained? And…how did he know she was Swedish in the first place?

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      He dyed blond hair.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      She was driving a vintage Saab J35.

    • Nockular cavity

      All the “bork bork bork” talk.

    • Rags

      Lutefisk breath

  • Jeffery Campbell

    Lawd, who brought these boys up? They need a big healthy “what the hell is the matter with you” from all the grown-up women in the world. All at once.

  • Holly

    Swedish women rock! I don’t say this because I’m born from a Swedish woman or anything…just sayin’ Thanks Mom! You have been my inspiration from the get go.

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    This is why it’s a good idea to record any fight you have with a girl. A simple tablet left on the kitchen table can do the trick.

    And get video, and post it publicly, so others may keep it for criminal prosecution purposes see the recordings and be inspired by your alpha maleness.

  • laineypc

    Swedish Woman, the universe’s answer to Florida Man.

    • foreign agitator Captain Kraut

      That’s quite probably true, Swedes are pretty much the antithesis to Florida Man.

      I was dating a Swedish physicist a couple of years ago, even our arguments were so sensible, it was uncanny.

  • TundraGrifter

    There is so, so much wrong with this it’s hard to know where to start. “Glimpse of an eye?” Not to mention the guy is a complete fucking jerk. I sincerely hope this young lady dropped him like a bad transmission.

    • Nockular cavity

      I liked “then consequently asserted.” It’s much classier than “then said.”

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Maybe he’s paid by the word. It would explain why he’s so verbose.

        • Nikki

          I’m picturing him as a human version of Squidward Tentacles.

  • TundraGrifter

    His girlfriend’s place is anywhere he isn’t.

  • laineypc

    I bet he knew she was Swedish because she had some kind of Swedish tattoo. Because of course she had a tattoo, being a bad ass 50 year old.

    • Bobathonic

      Why was a Swedish woman in Canada, homeland of his girlfriend?

    • Nockular cavity

      Swedish Tattoo was a song by Sadé, right?

      What?

    • DesertedPictures

      I guess it’s someone from Sweden posting on this forum…

  • HanBarbara

    “I would’ve hit her”. I agree about these discussion groups, Robyn- that’s how you end up with a blubbering Nazi or an idiot in Comet Pizza with a gun. They wake up and wonder what the hell they were thinking.
    That’s the next viral video- some dude blubbering because the video of him pepper spraying a little old lady has gone viral and he’s being “hunted down like an animal” by social media. Assholes.

    • Penthesilea110

      How did we get from Swedish in her 50s to “little old lady”?

      • HanBarbara

        Because one of these big brave men isn’t going to attack a Swedish woman in her 50’s. Bullies prey on those they perceive as weak. It’ll be the next vulnerable looking woman who gives one of these brave men the side eye.

      • SweetDeeKat

        I’m doubting the little old lady part. My family has a goodly amount of Swedish ancestors, and this fine figure of a woman has a healthy amount of height and mass. Still scary in my 50s.

        • Maggielle

          Yeah, he made it up. “50” sounded old to him, so his character was 50.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Well, he should be hunted down like an animal. A rodent-like animal.

      • Empress of the Iguana People

        with a small, persistent dog that likes to bite ankles?

  • Shanzgood

    Also? 50 is not elderly, asshole. You’ll be lucky to live that long.

    • Suttree

      In the imagination of a very dumb boy of 15, 50 can seem elderly.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    And how many people think that the girlfriend is a figure of his imagination?

    • Ghenghis McCann

      In reality, he was standing alone outside a bar shouting abuse at the Universe because he’s never going to get laid. A nice Swedish lady came up to him and said ‘Are you feeling OK?’ He was so upset at being spoken to by a woman that he ran home to his mother’s basement. Fortunately, Return of Kings was there for him, so he could feel manly again.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    These twits are beyond hope. They’ll never get laid.

    • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist

      Their pimp hand will have to be repurposed.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Pump hand.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          I never remember to scroll down before commenting up thread. Oh well, great minds and all that.

  • Panika MCD

    you don’t have to have hurt feelings to call 911. you can call them if you have physical wounds or on behalf of someone who needs assistance. in fact, you can call 911 for any reason at all, all one needs is a working phone–but you can get in legal trouble for being a nuisance.

  • DesertedPictures

    So my guess is that since this guy lives in Sweden, one of the most egalitarian societies in the world, he went abroad (often Thailand/India) to ‘get’ a girlfriend. That works out fine for a couple of months, but then the women finds out that she doesn’t need to worship her boyfriend. And then the violence starts…

    In a couple of years they break up and he goes abroad again. I’ve seen guys like that. They never learn and they are always alone in the end.

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    Can you still exert your “pimp hand” if your real, actual girlfriend lives in Canada? Asking for an ass hat.

    • ryp

      You spank the monkey with it.

    • foreign agitator Captain Kraut

      Sure, you just have to sit on your hand until it goes numb, then you pretend it’s someone else’s hand…

      I actually got this “idea” from the novel Jürgen by the utterly fabulous Heinz Strunck, whose protagonists comically struggle with their inability to find a women…but at least those guys are mostly clueless, not mainly assholes.

  • teenygozer

    I tried reading an old James Bond novel once and couldn’t do it. Fleming did the same thing: constant references to the coolness of Bond’s clothing and the uber-manliness of the things he did. Sounds like these guys are writing bad fanfic for a Bond-like character who happens to be themselves.

  • Edith Prickly

    This “elderly” 50-yr-old would have done the same thing in the same situation. Who else is going to teach younger women that they don’t have to put up with that shit? And just try taking a swing at me, douchebro. Big mistake.

    • Maggielle

      I agree. But I also have to remember that the young woman could turn on me. I’d be willing to take that risk, though. It might mean something to her anyway, plus there are onlookers who need to see it.

  • DesertedPictures

    “My girlfriend is from a relatively traditional country. She is generally really sweet and I don’t wanna go in to depth about that anymore here.”

    My guess is Thailand or India? The guy lives in Sweden right? Though luck finding a girlfriend there, that would put up with the misogynistic ideas this guy has. It’s a very egalitarian society: and it seems that is starting to rub off on his girlfriend… Such relationships rarely last.

  • WeaselPoo

    You know what the Vikings did? They realized they were better off settling down and developing communities than running around beating the crap out of people all the time.
    Also if you want to play at Vikings, learn to navigate across the North Sea on an open boat while eating Lutefisk, you pissants.

    • Nikki

      Historians also believe that Berserkers (the most bad ass of badass Viking warriors) would choose one man among them to eat hallucinogenic mushrooms, and then the others would drink his urine for a contact high. It gave them a feeling of invincibility during battle and kept them from receiving the ill affects of directly consuming the mushrooms. These little man boys should try it. It’s the closest any of them will ever come to actually swapping fluids with another human being.

    • President in Exile Firefly

      Or just eat lutefisk. That’s bad enough.

      • SweetDeeKat

        …shudder…

      • sigyn

        When the best thing you can say for a dish is: “It doesn’t taste as bad as it smells”…

  • ryp

    First, it wasn’t his girlfriend, it was his sister, who is supposed to keep an eye on him when he goes out, but finds it difficult to be in his company without getting completely hammered. Second the Tough Viking contest was actually online, but his avatar did have to do all that, and it took nearly three hours, so he was exhausted. Third, she didn’t want his stupid jacket, but was just telling him he should take it off because it looked like something only a douche would wear. But, yeah a fifty year old woman told him he was an asshat, and he didn’t say anything because by the time he’d figured out a clever response both she and his sister were long gone.

    • Shanzgood

      I like this version better.

    • Nikki

      This is probably closer to the truth.

  • Holly

    Dang! I want/need/yearn for a stylish, tough, Viking of a man to explain all the stuff to me. Then I’ll go all Swedish on his ass.

    • The safe word is ‘meatball’.

      • SpideySenser

        I prefer “Smörgåsbord”, more variety.

  • Gary Charound

    Perhaps he is an opera lover. AWALT could be a reference to Mozart’s “Cosi fan tutte,” although I doubt it. Never mind.

  • TundraGrifter

    Fifty bucks says that “stylish” jacket (if he has to call it that, it isn’t) has thin little straps on the shoulders and “Members Only” on the left breast.

    • mancityRed6

      libelz!

    • SeeTrain65

      An integral part of the official 1980s Douchebag uniform.

  • TundraGrifter

    The “Tough Viking” in this little story is the brave woman who called out a total ass.

    Or, in the words of Robin Williams, an “ass half” – because it would take two of him to make an ass whole.

  • Sic semper douchebags!

  • johnnieutah

    Are we just going to gloss over the fact that he refers to his girlfriend as a member OF A SUB-SPECIES?

    • Rick Hill

      Well, don’t forget. This guy just ran a thousand miles with both his legs cut off and sewed them back on with baling twine and fishhooks after donating all his blood to needy orphans whose mothers aborted them because they are shitty mothers so he is definitely a superior type of human.

      • Nikki

        This was absolutely beautiful! 👏🏿👏🏿

        • Rick Hill

          Yes, I can

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          That’s very Python-esque. High praise to you Rick Hill.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        And STILL had the strength to wiggle into his stylish jacket.

    • anon_the_great

      Yes we are. Some hell holes are even to dank for the Wonkette crew

    • Anna in PDX

      That was the part that skeeved me out the most. Ughhhhh

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      Taxonomy isn’t their strong suit. I saw that and lumped in with the pimp hand bullshit.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        I caught it above but you caught it first.

  • Rick Hill

    Well, I don’t have any type of cultural viewpoint, marxist madame or not. This guy is an insecure asshat who whines about not being able to slap a woman when he doesn’t have the balls to slap a woman.[

  • Rebel Scum with permit

    Where I live in California, use that old pimp hand and you’ll spend the night in jail. And it doesn’t matter if your partner later decides to press charges or not.
    I was a juror on a trial where the spouse was essentially a hostile witness. After three separate assault charges, the spouse was trying to claim that everything was ok, and none of it ever happened.
    The jury found him guilty anyway. There was enough evidence from police reports and other parties.

  • foiled again

    “Pimp hands”? More like pimple zoos.

    What a special wad of rotting foreskins these dingleberries reveal themselves to be.

  • anon_the_great

    Oh you poor little asshole.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    What a pussy- I’ll believe he engaged in some bullshit strength and endurance tough my ass Viking competition that day like I would believe that punching Roush V in the face wouldn’t be cathartic.

  • Mavenmaven

    I know for a fact that my life would not be diminished if I didn’t know who these people are and what garbage they write. However, the woman needs an intervention.

  • Parakeetist

    Again, trying to come up with something I can say, about what I’d like to do to these douchecanoes, that won’t get me banhammered. Sweet Jesus.

  • Courser_Resistance

    I had an old white guy assault me for not allowing him to dictate where I was allowed to stand in the grocery store service desk line. He starting yelling that I was ‘Ignorant’ and eventually slapped my phone out of my hand because I was recording him being an asshat.

    • Nikki

      I’m typically against violence. That’s why I pepper spray people. 😉

  • Bitter Scribe

    I wonder what “relatively traditional country” his girlfriend is from. Naming names might be construed as racist, so I’ll just say it’s probably one where most women don’t have a lot of opportunities.

  • Relativicus

    Pretending for a moment that any word in his post, including the ands and I’s, is true, my favorite part is “…a middle aged woman suddenly shows up.” I know a lot of middle aged people of all sexes and not a one of them can “suddenly” do anything.

    • Mahousu

      You’re obviously not aware of middle-aged Swedish ninja women. But then, few are – it’s a testament to how well they operate.

    • Bananas Foster

      This is a weird statement.

      I’m 41. I suddenly do things all the time.

      • Relativicus

        Apologies, I should have specified “intentionally.”

        • Bananas Foster

          Whatevs…

        • kareemachan

          Nope, still wrong. And I’m 60.

        • Maggielle

          Others may disagree (and they’d be right) but I still got what you meant.

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          You should know better than to write a joke in the non-comments. I mean, sure, we may have gotten away with it a few years ago, but now, only every third joke is OK.

      • SpideySenser

        At 63, I am quite able to suddenly do any damn thing I want to.

        • Zyxomma

          Same here. Same age, amazing abilities.

          • SpideySenser

            Yup! Good diet and exercise. The only people I know who get “old” before 60-ish are smokers, drinkers,over eaters and unfortunately those who are born with DNA abnormalities (cancer coding).

    • Jennaratrix

      Oh, I don’t know; at 47, I can suddenly get pretty damn annoyed at ageist assumptions.

      • Relativicus

        Yeah? Well wait until you’re 49 like me and watch how that changes.

        • Maggielle

          When you’re 65 like me, you’re invisible and it’s kind of easy to suddenly show up. I should be having way more fun with it. Hmm. New project.

          • Dudleydidwrong

            And when you’re 82 you don’t exist to anybody. “Suddenly showing up” is just getting out of bed, the first and only victory of the day. I wish that 50 year-old woman had suddenly whipped his pasty “Viking” ass and made him Leif the Very Unlucky.

          • Relativicus

            Become The Sidler!

            https://youtu.be/hmpe-y7rAKI

        • Jennaratrix

          You’re still assuming. Stop doing that. Just because things are a certain way for you doesn’t mean anything. You’re a whole two years older than I am, so I know in your mind it means it’s okay for you to say shit like this, but nope. First rule of holes, man.

          • Relativicus

            I assume you’re a bit uptight.

    • Ill-Advised

      You forget that being invisible is the superpower of women over 40.

    • Grumpy Twat

      You have never seen my wife catch sight of a spider.

  • SomeBigRedDog

    “She then consequently asserted” Ugh. I can’t even with people who write like this. Do they think it makes them sound smart? Cause it don’t. It makes them sound like assholes who add unnecessary words to stuff to make them sound smart.

    • SomeBigRedDog

      “she unhesitatingly manifests her dislike for my behavior”

      This guy could be talking about how he saves puppies for a living and I would still think we was a douche bag.

      Edit: Grammar question. Is douche bag one or two words?

      • mailman27

        So, she calls him a dick?

      • covfefesumgame0005

        but only BOY dogs of course!

        • SomeBigRedDog

          Of course. Girl dogs be bitches.

      • Grumpy Twat

        I somehow think it would be two words for an actual bag associated in some way with an actual douche, but one word if you want to call an asshat a douchebag.

        I have no real idea why. Sleaze bag or sleazebag? A shit bag is not necessarily the same thing as a shitbag, so…

    • BosGrl

      They read too many police blotters.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I thought that if I can do that then she could walk a short distance and realize what it feels like in a very light version.

    Asshole, as someone who regularly competes in runs, I can tell you one difference: when a race starts, I am prepared for it and ready to go, and I know I have a medal and a T-shirt waiting for me at the end. She didn’t sign up (formally) for an athletic event when she went out with you, and I’m pretty confident that you had no post-race swag for her at the end of the date. See the difference now?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/eaff5ec33aaba15032c5a1aeb82f06b3387a63dae7437f1a5fe3965ca71efe40.jpg

  • SomeBigRedDog

    How does one say asshat in Swedish? Asking for a friend.

    • Jennaratrix

      According to Google translate, it’s “asshat.”

      • SomeBigRedDog

        That’s . . . disappointing.

      • SeeTrain65

        Split the words and it’s “rövhatt.”

        Otherwise, it’s “asshat.”

        • Jennaratrix

          Oooh, better. I didn’t think to try splitting it up.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • pgjack

    There are many reasons people have the psychological problems suffered by the alleged ‘Ass Hat’ in this column and some of them are not necessarily his problem. His mother might have mistreated him or he might have grown up watching his father mistreat his mother. Or perhaps he hangs around with too many other ass hats and has absorbed their behavioral patterns. Whatever the cause it is not wrong to feel a little pity for him. After all, he did do the tough viking thing and got muddy and cold. Also women who put up with a steady pattern of ass hates in their mates have their own set of psychological problems. We are complex creatures and frustrated male egos are not a rarity. Meditation might help but hanging around other frustrated male egos won’t.

    • sonali

      Right, cherchez la femme uh huh of course its their mothers fault theyre assholes…🙄

      • Well. possibly, but as pgjack suggested it’s more often their fathers.

        Because he is an ass hat to others he should be stopped, with votes if necessary, but he is still an object deserving of pity. Even if he is so despicable that it’s impossible to feel it.

        Many adolescent males are insecure, and jerks, but grow out of it as they grow up and accomplish things and learn to deal with bills, dates, jobs, etc. Some, however, are broken by a dysfunctional childhood. Doesn’t mean they should get a pass, but it does mean they might not simply grow out of it. Nothing they do will be enough, and they never did learn to get along with others – especially females.

        Kind of like a certain president.

        • sonali

          Your sarcasm detector may be set on “off”.

    • Jennaratrix

      Well, maybe you’re just a better person than I am, because once they turn their personal trauma outward and use it as a justification to hurt other people, I lose any speck of pity I might have once had.

    • fiona64

      Or, maybe he’s just an asshole. Occam’s Razor and all that.

  • Red Bird

    “I think it is okay morally to also slap a woman hard in that situation and to mace her down if she doesn’t get the hint you do not want to interact with her. It’s not legally so, but if I see someone slapping a woman around hard for doing exactly what the OP is writing about, I will turn a blind eye. If it gets legal I will make sure everybody knows it was self defense.”

    What if this paragraph was rewritten from the point of view of women who are hit on by men they’re not interested in while minding their business?
    I think it is okay morally to also slap a MAN hard in that situation and to mace HIM down if HE doesn’t get the hint you do not want to interact with HIM. It’s not legally so, but if I see someone slapping a MAN around hard I will turn a blind eye. If it gets legal I will make sure everybody knows it was self defense.

    • kareemachan

      Uh, no.

      • Red Bird

        That was sarcasm.

    • fiona64

      While I know this is sarcasm, I’ve spent enough time reading these blogs (and, back in the days of RH Reality Check, watching their periodic invasions) to know that they think no woman has the right to turn them down and should, instead, be honored that they deigned to notice said woman. Any woman who isn’t interested is, apparently, “alpha-ridden” … which means she’s had experience with men and thus won’t put up with their shit, from where I sit.

      Also, in my experience, they show an alarming tendency to prefer ‘mail-order brides’ who are basically trapped with nowhere else to go.

  • clairence

    I started putting on the brass knuckles at “not atypical behavior for her subspecies”.

    Every time y’all share these glimpses into the manosphere, I wonder if it’s not just a bunch of teenagers having some fun. Actually, I’m hoping that’s the case. I don’t want to believe there are actually people like this in the world – let alone a lot of them.

    • Peripatetic Poltroon

      oh yeah. IIRC, that Roosh guy is an actual 30/40 something who actually lives in his Mom’s basement. He’s not obese though, so there’s that.

      • JMP

        He’s also an admitted rapist, and a man of Iranian descent who keeps trying to pal around with neo-Nazis despite how they keep calling him subhuman.

  • Relativicus
    • covfefesumgame0005

      all those MRA’s can! violence is all they can fap too..

  • BearGHAZI

    Today, all MGTOW are Ass Hats

    • Zyxomma

      Today and every day.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Others said they would dump the girlfriend for having allowed the woman to disrespect him in the first place

    So it’s her fault that another woman stuck up for her when she was being publicly berated by the king of misogyny. OK…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7cc6ffb2cdad039cbec40875a46e539caea9bbb01bfc39dcde42bbe5a552599c.jpg

    • JMP

      But MRAs are all completely rational and hyper-logical! At least, they like to loudly, angrily declare themselves so, while screaming that anyone who disagrees with their bullshit is “too emotional”, although not one of them has ever actually shown a single sign of logical thought to back those claims up.

  • mailman27

    What a creep! Wearing a stylish jacket to crawl through the mud. I mean, really!

  • kareemachan

    It’s this kind of mindset that bring up the murder statistic that many abused women are killed when trying to or just after leaving an abusive man in their life.

    http://www.clarionledger.com/story/news/2017/01/28/most-dangerous-time-for-battered-women-is-when-they-leave-jerry-mitchell/96955552/

  • Iron Monkey

    Does this stylish jacket make my ass look big?

    • SeeTrain65

      Better Question: Does my being an ass make my jacket look small?

      • lastroth

        and cheap, stylish in some circles denotes expensive.

  • clairence

    “Tough Viking” actually looks like a fun event. But now that I know what kind of people attend, I am less interested in it. Nevermind that it’s on the other side of the world….

    • Grumpy Twat

      And they aren’t so tough that they can’t be thoroughly intimidated by a fifty year old Swedish woman.

      Hang on. SHE’S the tough Viking! well that explains everything!

      • Permit-holder Ron

        Just because they stayed home while their husbands went off to pillage East Anglia doesn’t mean they were stay-at-home soccer moms.

        • Tokays_don’t_blink

          Yep. They kept the farm chugging along, plus they defended themselves and their families from attacks by wolves, bears, and opportunistic humans.

  • sonali

    I think it’s ok for me to use MY pimp hand to beat down asshats who refer to women as a subspecies, amirite?

  • SeeTrain65

    Use that “pimp hand” against the wrong woman and you’ll end up in “pimp traction,” Willy.

  • Boscoe

    It’s hard to be too angry at them since they ARE building their own personal hell, brick by brick. In the end, their “philosophies” will mete out it’s own custom-tailored punishment on their lives.

    Also too, why do I detect the distinct aroma of libertarianism whenever I read anything they write?

  • mardam422

    Ass hat is an ass hat.

  • BrendaKay

    I am not a subspecies. That is all.

    • Jennaratrix

      No shit. I really want to talk to that “girlfriend.” Assuming this whole thing wasn’t just a badly written real man fanfic.

      • SeeTrain65

        Penthouse Forum with violence and without the imaginary sex.

      • Grumpy Twat

        Are those inflatable ones fitted with voices?

        • Jennaratrix

          Not that I know a whole lot about these, but I’m guessing boyo here couldn’t afford anything that high-end. He’s just getting the regular vinyl blow up dolly from Cirilla’s.

          • Grumpy Twat

            Maybe that’s why he was exhausted and out of breath.

        • aureolaborealis

          They do have things in their throats that vibrate. Does that count?

      • Robyn Ryan

        She only speaks Russian

        • Jennaratrix

          She’s from Canada, you wouldn’t know her.

    • SeeTrain65

      These idiots make my gender seem like we didn’t quite make the leap to homosapien, though.

      • Grumpy Twat

        Depressing, innit?
        Let’s hope we can have some kind of “Crying Nazi” episode where these ass hats publicly show themselves to be ass hats.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Biological taxonomy does not seem to be this asshole’s strong point.

  • BosGrl

    I’ll bet a middle aged blonde woman walked by their argument, called him an asshat, made sure the girlfriend was ok, and kept going. The rest was a fantasy he thought up as he walked home alone in his beautiful jacket.

    • Jennaratrix

      STYLISH jacket. Which of course means it wasn’t, at all.

      • lastroth

        Isn’t style in the eye of the beholder and we’ve read what he beholds so…

  • mardam422

    Waaahhh!!! Someone please tell me I’m right. I’ll write this essay about what a…a…a…sniff…woman did to me. She showed me such disrespect, right? I’m a man, right?

  • Raan

    Upfist to Robin for the season seven Parks and Rec reference in the subheading.

    Also, I’m feeling choke-y. Like I want to grab a pole (or something similar) with both hands and squeeze as hard as I can. I assume that’s normal for reading any article about these asshats.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Hey, leave the Poles out of this! What did they ever do to you?

      • Raan

        Be neck-shaped.

  • eyelashviper

    How blubbering ROK sad little male sees “50 year old Swedish woman” and is suffering permanent PTSD…

    https://i.pinimg.com/236x/05/b6/a3/05b6a3d566bca2e5a1ed7c2816196439–walhalla-valkyrie-tattoo.jpg

  • Daniel Hooper

    Ho boy; lot to say here.

    1. How fragile ARE these losers?! Seriously; I handled get sucker punched in the face with more grace than these guys do having someone talk to them.
    2. This moron’s complaining about giving his girlfriend his stylish jacket? First, if you have to SAY it’s stylish, it’s not. Second, do you think she’s gonna ruin it when you were crawling around in mud earlier?
    3. I’m sorry to point out this, Rebecca, but you and he both failed a bit. You obviously haven’t done your research; Ghandi is a SUPER dick in any of the Civilization games. If he’s gonna play that card, he should’ve disrespected her borders and been insufferably smug about it.

  • ZangoCrudmonger

    Some mood music while you peruse Wonkette. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80rRwkZrjv4

  • SadDemInTex

    She’s from a “traditional” country? So she is a sex slave he bought who has now learned enough English to communicate with others.

    • Robyn Ryan

      Mail order bride.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Same thing.

  • TundraGrifter

    Looking at the race results for 2017, the first woman came 74th – about half way through the second page. There are 76 more pages of contestants – and she finished ahead of all of them. Including, of course, the author of that pathetic screed.

  • Zyxomma

    I can think of several kinds of Viking challenges I’d like the poor snowflake to try.

    • redarmyzombie

      Do any of them involve a Helga Von Skullcracker?

    • Permit-holder Ron

      Like ‘crossing the North Atlantic in a smallish boat and building a settlement on a rocky island filled with hostile natives.’

  • Dudleydidwrong

    “Stylish jacket?” Or is that a cryptic description of him jauntily jacking off in public after putting his girlfriend in her place. I’ll bet that ass hat has Trump-sized hands.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      He sounds the ghey to me…

      • redarmyzombie

        Sorry straight people, we won’t take him…

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Fair enough…

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Uh-oh, you gehs won’t take him. We straights want no parts of him.

          He’s Edward Everett Hale’s “The Man Without a Sexuality.” (Pity about the stylish jacket though. Are you sure you don’t want a stylish, albeit muddy, jacket?)

          • redarmyzombie

            Pretty sure the Asexuals won’t take him either…

          • Mehmeisterjr

            When a fiftyish Swedish lady beats his ass into the ground, the Emergency Ward might take him.

  • Bright Bart
    • h4rr4r

      Don Cherry Libels!

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      God, but I love Don.

    • blaid droog

      Where did you find that pic? More to the point,
      where did that “man” find that coat?

      • NastyBossetti

        I think, after some point in time, those kinds of coats started finding him.

    • NastyBossetti

      Once, I was looking for a photo to illustrate the word “despair.” A picture of Don Cherry in – well, you know, what Don Cherry wears – came up. I am thankful to whatever internet stranger tagged that photo with the word despair. It really lightened my mood.

  • h4rr4r

    This is fake. He has no girlfriend. The whole thing is made up.

    Read it, this person does not interact with humans on a daily basis.

    • Peripatetic Poltroon

      Sure he does, but just MRAs. ‘Scuz me while I go take my second shower today.

    • Peripatetic Poltroon

      Also, I’ll WAG that the Tough Viking thing is just as imaginary as the GF.

      • redarmyzombie

        If it did, I’d bet you it’s filled with dweebs with self-confidence issues like that asshat…

      • Permit-holder Ron

        It’s quite real. And it looks rather difficult. And quite a few women compete, it would seem.

        • brucej

          Why is their logo a greek helmet with wings?

          It’s not like it’s the ‘Tough Gondorian’ contest.

          https://staticdelivery.nexusmods.com/mods/110/images/43641-1-1381003595.jpg

          • Permit-holder Ron

            Maybe they’ve confused Vikings with Gauls? http://www.cartoon-clipart.co/amp/images/asterix.png

          • brucej

            I’d forgotten all about Asterix! Loved those books when I was a kid…

          • Permit-holder Ron

            They’re even better when you’re an adult and can get the GOOD jokes.

        • Sometimes guys who are reasonably accomplished (e.g. finished college, are in the military, or have run a marathon) are still insecure. Most men grow up after accomplishing something real, but others have issues more deep-rooted than simple adolescence.

    • Canis Greyhame

      Yep, the “stylish” jacket, the Tough Viking competition, it’s all just a bit too fishy.

      • jackie jones

        Sir Walter Raliegh would give the fake girlfriend the jacket.

      • arrrghle

        The having a girlfriend

  • kaydenpat

    How do we know that the author actually had a girlfriend? Alt-right men love to lie. His story doesn’t even make sense.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      But, but his story must/i> be true because it says right there that his jacket is “stylish” and he couldn’t say that unless…. Oh, wait.

  • Ezio

    XO Jane is gone? This is news to me.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Good things do happen in this world.

  • Ezio

    PSA: If you have to use the words “put someone in their place” unironically, then it’s not a good way to gain empathy from any sensible person.

    • yyyaz

      Especially in countries that where that shit don’t fly.

  • yyyaz

    I hope Sweden revokes his visa and kicks his ass out forever. Assuming, of course, that he was there as a non-citizen.

  • Canis Greyhame

    I’m not convinced that any of this actually happened outside of the ass hat’s overactive imagination, particularly the part about having a girlfriend who would put up with his shit.

    • TimResistit

      Yeah sounds made up to me. A menimist with a girlfriend? Yeah, right.

      • Lily412

        She lives in Canada, ok?!

        • TimResistit

          Fake girlfriend, fake country.

    • Permit-holder Ron

      ‘Dear Return of Kings:
      ‘I never thought this would happen to me, but…’

  • The Librarian

    Pimp hand?!!! Who the hell uses that ugly phrase as a description? Oh, yes Misogynistic Real Asshats do. I hope the next Swedish woman is a martial arts aficionado. Pimp Hand, meet Glad Hand.

    • LesBontemps

      Jazz hands would probably work equally well.

      • brucej

        These guys it’s more like Jizz Hands amirite??

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Maybe he misspelled pump hand.

    • My 30 year-old daughter is the sweetest thing. And I’ll be damned if I can touch her. We train together for several hours a week and with 40 years under my belt she takes the energy I send her (sticks, punches, or grabs) and returns it in highly creative, rather unexpected, and mostly unpleasant ways. It’s her giggling that people find most disconcerting, but I guess I’m used to that.

      She would have let this fella know what she thought of his bullying, and his slap if he offered one.

      • The Librarian

        I get this! Spawn2 used to take Muay Thai.

  • UnsaltedSinner
    • brucej

      Miss Marple FTW!

  • CeeQ

    You got annoyed because your girl asked to borrow your stylish jacket? Honey. You just came out of the closet. It’s ok. Drink it in.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      “Stylish jacket”… He sounds the confused ghey to me…

  • jackie jones

    Liz Lemon says Men who are so insecure and pathetic they have to join online groups to bitch about their girlfriends=DEALBREAKER

  • redarmyzombie

    Worst. LARP meet up. Ever.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    You know it was a Members Only jacket.

    • jackie jones

      LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!

    • Mehmeisterjr

      But ever-so stylish.

    • LesBontemps

      He must be the last member.

  • Permit-holder Ron

    I’m sure at least 80% of his butthurt comes from his knowing that this woman would have wiped the sidewalk with him if he’d started anything – and then had him arrested for assault.

  • Poly_Ester

    Word of advice to ToughViking/Gandhi — You never know who’s carryin’.

  • cats530

    MRA/PUA/SOB site. lol. Can I add the “POS” acronym to that list? What else can we add?

    • brucej

      WATB

    • amrak63

      MF

  • cats530

    “misogynists are absurdly fragile.”

    Yeah, I’ve noticed that. Absolutely hilarious.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    William Adams. Is he any relation to John Miller? Or John Baron?

    • Tokays_don’t_blink

      Perhaps AOT, K?

  • aureolaborealis

    Several years ago, while strolling drunk through Prague of an evening with my drunk German girlfriend and playing a leg-wrestling game that amounted to us trying to trip each other as we walked, we were quickly approached by a group of Germans. After a minute or so of guttural foreign jibber-jabber with my girlfriend, they laughed and left us. My girlfriend told me that they thought I was attacking her and had been prepared to beat me to a pulp until she explained the situation. It was kind of drunkenly heart-warming.

  • The Wanderer

    What the fuck is this jibber-jabber? This handfucker should thank whatever he worships that he didn’t get his ass beaten bloody.

    • Tokays_don’t_blink

      “Handfucker” is now part of my lexicon, and I have you to thank!

  • mary5920

    Woof. There are web gathering water holes for every type of lunacy.
    I wonder how this man baby knew he was being attacked by a Swedish woman? Was she wearing a tee shirt with “Swede Power” on it?
    If only the girl friend would use the brains she was given at birth to take the Swedish woman’s advice.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      She confronted him with a Muppets Swedish Chef puppet on her left hand and a pickled herring in her right hand?

      • crafty girl

        Thank you for this,

    • Jim Johnson

      I think she may have threatened him with Lutefisk.

      • mary5920

        Yay, Norwegian Power!

        • Jim Johnson

          Gives new meaning to “Ass Hat”.

      • Calli Arcale

        Nah, that’s nothing. She should’ve threatened him with surströmming.

  • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

    WTF is “…in the glimpse of an eye” supposed to mean?

    • orlaheho

      It means he realized instantly that his girlfriend had deployed the nuclear option – crying in public – and countermeasures were in order.

      Now that I’ve explained that, can you tell me wtf “My girlfriend is from a relatively traditional country” is about?

      • Grokenstein

        In this case, “relatively” = “I’m pulling all this out of my ass so don’t ask for details.”

        “Traditional country” = some backwards dump where women are considered property.

        • James Terry

          It means “my masculinity is too fragile to accept a women with her own thoughts, so I ordered one of those stereotypically demure peasant girls who doesn’t have a life of her own here so that she will always have to rely on me and I can control her every breath.”

      • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

        She’s a Carthaginian.

    • LesBontemps

      It means “I don’t English good.”

  • Grokenstein

    Looking at their site header pictured above and wondering whether they orgasm or throw things around the room when they see the “submit article” button.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    I have never gotten into a fist fight in my entire life but if somebody “semi-yelled” at a woman in my immediate vicinity I would… with votes.

  • whitroth

    Hey, ass hat: you’re an anti-American traitor. We DON’T believe in kings. We believe in Democracy and the Constitution. Why don’t you leave, and go somewhere that they still have kings.

    Preferably right before the populace do Revolution to the king, the nobility, and you….

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    You never pair a stylish jacket with an asshat. Never.

    • natoslug

      My asshat keeps falling off. Looks like I need to eat more chocolate chip cookies.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        Mmmmmm…cookies…

  • Grokenstein

    “I just competed in the Tough Viking contest” is ROK code for “I just got my hair and nails did.” Stylish!

  • Lily412

    Don’t ROK dipshits usually blather on about how women should be grateful, since they practice “chivalry”? There’s absolutely nothing chivalrous about his actions. Chivalry would have been to give her the damn jacket and stop being such a petty little douche about it.

  • motmelere

    SUBSPECIES! WTF? I bet these fuckwits wander through life with Salt-N-Pepa’s “Whatta Man” playing in their heads.

    • Lauren Balk

      Yeah, I got to that point and it was a big ol’ record scratch. I wonder if his girlfriend (assuming she’s a real person) is okay with being a subspecies.

      • phoenix00

        Sounds like abused to me.

  • MamaBrown

    I’m going to weep into my pillow because I do not have an opportunity to have a Real Man like this. and I that I raised my son to be a person who treats women with respect, who would share his stylish jacket, and who would no more do a tough viking competition than he would sprout wings and fly. Woe is me. Oh wait.

    • amrak63

      You rule and “kings” drool.

  • Jamoche

    RL Remington Steele: https://www.fastcompany.com/40456604/these-women-entrepreneurs-created-a-fake-male-cofounder-to-dodge-startup-sexism

    Penelope Gazin and Kate Dwyer faced a lot of sexism and condescension when they launched their e-commerce marketplace for weird art–that is until they introduced an imaginary cofounder named Keith.

    • Maclare 🌒

      “Keith Mann” no less.

  • AngryNotSoOldHippy .

    Shit hole Christian Republicanism is a world wide problem, not just a problem we have in the United States. How filthy.

  • gratuitous

    He got that badly pwned by a 50-year-old woman and then ran to post about it? What a fucking tool. No wonder he needs to be told over and over again by his numbnut buddies what a “king” he is. Richard III would have fucked his shit up.

    • It was the stylish jacket what made him cucky

    • Ethelred the Unready would have fucked his shit up.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      She “semi-yelled” at him! The semi-humiliation!

  • alpacapunchbowl

    Years ago on the bus, well before I was even an elderly crone of 40, there was a guy verbally abusing a woman that I assume was his girlfriend. As I got off at my stop I had to maneuver past them, and as I did I caught the woman’s eye and said “if you two are together, leave this guy. You deserve much better.” The guy didn’t say anything to my face.
    Afterwards, I worried that me speaking up could have made things worse for the woman, I’m sure I pissed the guy off even more than whatever was already up his ass, and I fear he may have taken it out on the girlfriend later.
    I’ve always thought that I probably could have dealt better with the situation and I really hope I didn’t cause her even more trouble.

    • Ulricii

      It sounds to me like you handled it well, alpacabunchbowl. You let the guy know that he wasn’t verbally abusing the woman in a human vacuum and you let the woman know that what she was undergoing was not normal and she didn’t have to take it. The next move would have to be taken by her, however you had worded your comment.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Thanks. That’s what I’ve hoped, that it stuck with her and she acted on it at some point.

    • psychobroad

      “before I was even an elderly crone of 40” LOL are you and Evan related? I am now an elderly crone of 56–guess abusive guy above would have called me an octonegerian. Oh, wait, no chance in hell he knows that word.

  • pinareno2000

    Swedes are deadly serious about gender equality. She is badass, but not so unusual from my own experience.

    • Ulricii

      I think MRA’s recognize two basic categories of blondes: Southern belles, aka “dumb blondes,” and Swedish, whose ferocity and no-shit-taking traces back to Viking days.

  • Rasilom

    These mra assholes make me punchy.

  • Michael Loraine

    I was watching the Science Channel this morning, and they were talking about weird cosmic phenomena like magnetars, gamma ray bursts, super-massive black holes, etc., and as usual, I was thinking it was fairly mind-boggling, but that I could almost grasp it.

    But now I hear about “Exerting the Pimp Hand” and I am at a total loss. What counter-parallel anti-universe does that come from? The same one, evidently, which gave us slavery and Nazis. How does one consider a woman to be his “girlfriend” if the plan is to beat her into submission and make her follow his orders? Beyond my comprehension.

    • Cat Cafe of the Subpoenas

      It’s all complete bullshit being typed by a dumbfuck in his mother’s basement. See amrak’s comment (and my answer). That’s how.

  • gene108

    If you are going to call Gandhi crappy to women, link an actual account with some facts. The “Commentary ‘Magazine” article you linked is a bitch fest about the 1983 movie “Gandhi” not being 100% accurate, which – duh – it was not and was more about capturing the essence of Gandhi’s 78 years on this earth in a mere 3 hours…omissions were made…

    Gandhi was very ambitious and thus a demanding husband, but Kasturbhai willingly joined him on his crusade for independence, and transforming India. She is one of the champions of the independence movement.

    He had his shortcomings, but he was not in the same league as MRA’s, with regards to the treatment of women.

    • Cornelius Fussbudget
      • Ulricii

        Good piece, well documented. Thanks for the link

      • gene108

        The article makes India sound about as bad as Saudi Arabia, never mind India having a female PM and President, has women rocket scientists, as well as cut its birth rate down to the proverbial 2.5 kids per household, with some of the better run states rivaling European fertility rates.

        India like every country has issues, but a lot of progress has been made.

        To lay at the feet of Gandhi, like the article does, preset notions of sexuality, such as women attracting unwanted attention of men by provactive dress, is a bit much, as every society on the planet grapples with this issue, such as the US where school dress codes are centered around girls dressing so as not to distract the boys.

        • Cornelius Fussbudget

          That’s great to point out that India has made a lot of progress. Here’s a recent report, putting India at 87th out of 144. Not great, but as you say, not Saudi Arabia.

          http://reports.weforum.org/global-gender-gap-report-2016/

          In defense of the article though, it was written in 2010. The 2009 Gender Gap Report showed India needing quite a bit more progress, at 114th out of 134…quite a bit closer to not-good territory.

          https://growthlab.cid.harvard.edu/files/growthlab/files/wef_gendergap_report_2009.pdf

          I’d also like to generally point out that we absolutely do apply current notions of morality to historical figures. See: confederate monuments. When discussing history, the moral timbre of the place and time is a critical piece of context. But, living human beings will use their own current moral framework to make judgements of dead human beings, whether we want them to or not. We shouldn’t hide any data to protect them from that.

          Of course, this article could definitely have done a better job with setting the context.

    • ziggywiggy

      “During Gandhi’s time as a dissident in South Africa, he discovered a male youth had been harassing two of his female followers. Gandhi responded by personally cutting the girls’ hair off, to ensure the “sinner’s eye” was “sterilised”. Gandhi boasted of the incident in his writings, pushing the message to all Indians that women should carry responsibility for sexual attacks upon them. Such a legacy still lingers. In the summer of 2009, colleges in north India reacted to a spate of sexual harassment cases by banning women from wearing jeans, as western-style dress was too “provocative” for the males on campus.” That one incident alone tells you all you need to know about how he was towards women.

      • I had not given a thought to Gandhi’s attitude toward women before. Sadly, I am not surprised by these stories. Not because he was Gandhi, but because he was a man of his time. I’ve not seen any of the great souls who had it right on all issues; I can extrapolate that even I am not (which disturbs me to think so).

      • This. Gandhi transformed how to peacefully oppose power, but he was no saint. He was human with many many many flaws.

    • sarafina

      Keep your ignorant mouth shut, gene108.

    • teenygozer

      It’s pretty well known that he took advantage of a lot of his starry-eyed young female followers. And by that, I mean sexually, not just bossing them around and chopping off their hair if they were too attractive to other men. He was quite cruel to his wife who was uneducated whom he’d met via an arranged marriage–it’s like he blamed her for not being the better-educated, more sophisticated person he would have chosen of his own volition, and he punished her for her shortcomings.

    • Bill Diaz

      You are ‘A Idiot’ about Gandhi and how he treated not only his wife, but women in general, including his habit of sleeping with under-aged girls. He is like many national founders (Thomas Jefferson) a really horrible evil person, who did a couple of cool things that we let exonerate them.

      Gandhi was a scumbag who became a symbol for the men of his nation as well as the women, but what he was a symbol of depends on your viewpoint more than how history records it.

      Have a great day!

      • gene108

        A couple of good things? You are “A Ignorant”. The reason India has any push towards equality is because Gandhi pushed people to think beyond caste, religion, etc. He was a force to reform Hinduism, push for economic uplift of the most impoverished, and on the side he spearheaded an independence movement.

        One of the major reasons for the khadi movement, and centering it on village handicrafts, was to give the rural poor a means to make money.

        He as assassinated for breaking down caste barriers in Hinduism.

        Also, he didn’t have a habit of sleeping with underage girls. There was one issue that arose later in life, but he did stop, when opt was pointed out how uncomfortable it made the girl. Per all reports no sex actually happened.

        His views on sexuality were strange, to the say the least, but that is not the whole of what he did, and are not given as much wieght because they are a small part of his legacy.

  • amrak63

    Some Return of Kings asshole actually has a girlfriend?

    I call bullshit. He was probably carrying around his waifu pillow and the Swedish woman merely laughed at him.

    By the way, to Roosh and company:

    THIS IS THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

    ASK GEORGE THE THIRD HOW MUCH WE RESPECT “KINGS” HERE.

    • Cat Cafe of the Subpoenas

      Ha ha YES I think you’re right! I say another unrelated guy was agreeably calling a cab for himself and his actual girlfriend, and the asshat was in a tizzy because the other guy actually had a girlfriend, so he was posturing with his fellow asshat guy friend (the one he’d been giving a blow job to earlier, just to see, and received the same in return, “no homo”) and the Swedish lady laughed at THAT. I can’t actually imagine a sentient being standing there while some pimply asshole loftily tells her she needs to suffer. OH and the whole sportsball shit he pretended to have done? THAT’S BULLSHIT TOO!

      • Cat Cafe of the Subpoenas

        And she wasn’t Swedish, or a stranger, SHE WAS HIS MOTHER TELLING HIM TO SHUT THE FUCK UP.

        • Cat Cafe of the Subpoenas

          And he never left his mother’s basement!

          • Keith Taylor

            In all of which you are probably one hundred per cent correct!

          • Tokays_don’t_blink

            Incelption!!!11!

        • “MAAAAHHHHM, I can say ‘bitch’ if I want to! It’s my first amen….[Mom grabs MRA’s ear] OW OW OW OW OW OKAY!!!”

          • Cat Cafe of the Subpoenas

            This, exactly. EXACTLY

  • Lauren Balk

    I recognize the writing style; I saw it all the time in college, from unsure students trying desperately to sound impressive by using big words and making things sound more grandiose than they could possibly have been in real life. It’s just affectation, trying to appear more educated or erudite than one actually is to impress others, with the effort actually undermining the intended effect.

    • Cat Cafe of the Subpoenas

      Yes, exactly! It’s a stupid person trying to sound smart. You see it wherever there are posturing males, or idiots. It’s why all that arglebargle anti-science shit is so cloaked in fancy ten-dollars words that actually mean nothing.

      • Ulricii

        I believe we now have an elected Stupid-Person-Trying-to-Sound-Smart whose job, as I understand it, is to be our Role Model in Chief for another 3 1/2 years. Amiright?

        • Cat Cafe of the Subpoenas

          Oh God, it can’t go on past the end of 2017, really it can’t…. please no…

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Are you adumbrating that his loquacious verbosity is mere airy persiflage endeavoring to distract logical ratiocination anent his quizzical constructs vis-à-vis his vestigial personal relationships? Because, yeah, I think so, too.

      • phoenix00

        Word.

    • Ants In My Eyes Johnson

      He’s definitely uncomfortable recounting the incident. Too bad it’s not because he’s realized that he’s a horrible excuse for a human being, and should be deeply ashamed.

  • Iam Reading

    In my younger days I have ended up beating the shit out of people over incidents like this. I figured out ways to deescalate things so that they don’t get physical in my more advanced years. However there are times when I’m sorely tempted just to rip one of these MRA assholes head right off his fucking shoulders for the way they treat women.

  • SnowBomber

    That guy read way too many issues of Penthouse Letters.

    • amrak63

      So did I, but I managed not to become an MRA/PUA/SOB/MF.

      • SnowBomber

        I was thinking that’s where he got his writing skills….

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      I took a class called Sin and Sexuality in Literature in which the first thing we had to read were Penthouse letters. We then had to break into discussion groups and talk about what we’d read.
      Every woman in my group was horrified to find that every man in our group thought those letters were genuine.
      Among other things, the guys seemed shocked to learn that no woman alive referred to her ladybits in the nauseating terms used in the letters.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Dear Wonkhouse,

        I never thought this would happen to me.

        Seriously, every man thought they were for real?

        As a man, I assumed that every man with a working brain stem assumed those letters were obvious bullshit and not even particularly erotic. Back in the NatLamp days, “Letters from the Editor” were only slightly less ridiculous.

        • sgt. jmk of the résistance

          Literally every single guy in our group, without exception.

          Granted, most of them were 19 year old PoliSci majors titillated by the course title and unused to analyzing texts, but still… it was very disturbing.

  • Cat Cafe of the Subpoenas

    Those boys are all really posturing greatly from their mommy’s basements. Pimp hand. Sounds like 13 year old middle school boys.

  • Hemp Dogbane

    His writing could be on the reading list for a Cultural Studies class. Also too, Freshmen Comp.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Freshman Comp: How Not To.

      • Mildred Broxon

        What I Tried To Do On My Summer Vacation.

  • m3bosha

    Between “I have a girlfriend” and “pimp hand”, I seriously doubt the validity of this MRA douches story. But I’d really like to think a Swedish lady did yell at him.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    WFT is a pimp hand, BTW?

    I am left-handed and others, most others, are right-handed but pimp-handed?

    • Serai 1

      The pimp hand would be whichever hand you use to beat women.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        So in my case, that would be neither hand.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Incidentally, I have mentioned before, perhaps at tiresome length, that I am officially An Old.

    But Elderly?

    Maybe not quite yet. I can still walk on my own power, have most of my hair left dark and so forth.

    I was surprised when a local news story reported an attack on an “elderly” man who was many years my junior.

    But a fifty-year old woman. Elderly?

    Please. If the term means anything, fifty is nothing.

    • Skadi

      I presume this guy divides the feminine sex into “girls” and “old women”.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        At my stage of life, a fifty year-old Swedish woman is practically jail bait.

      • teenygozer

        More like “fuckable” and “unfuckable”… that way definitions cover the young women they don’t want to have sex with.

    • Bill Diaz

      Dunno, I am 52 (also crippled too) and despite my ‘youth’ certainly am willing to accept the title of ‘elderly’ to get ‘Rock Star’ parking and 10% off my total at (fill in the blank).

      I consider it camouflage in a way, no one is going to look at an elderly cripple with a walker as a potential threat. But if there is ever an opportunity to prevent a fight or the like, dropping the pretense will be easy, lol. Be proud of your years and miles, if anyone makes fun of your age or being bald etc, tell them that god will send bears to eat them (2 Kings 2:).

      Have a great day!

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Don’t get me wrong. Medicare and Social Security are saving my butt financially (at least until Putin’s Plant and Putin’s Other Plant and Putin’s Third and Fourth Plant get rid of them.)

        And I am definitely An Old.

        I just think Elderly is a few years down the line.

        BTW, if you are 52 (and single?) there might be a feisty Swedish woman out there for you, if I don’t beat you to her.

        • Bill Diaz

          You would win that race, lol. If my problem was just impaired mobility, that would be one thing, but what is killing me is my unfortunate daily, volcanic vomiting, which sadly leaves me romantically void.

          Have a great day!

    • The Flaming Carrot

      A few years ago, a crazy person doxxed me in an online MOOC forum that was supposed to be anonymous. I guess he was trying to get other people in the forum to jeer at me, but nobody else shared his opinion that it was in any way extraordinary that I should be a sarcastic, 50ish female lawyer. In retrospect, I guess he was one of these MRA-LARPer types. Not too many women in the 14th century actually lived to be 50.

  • glennisw

    Christ, no, not going there.

  • psychobroad

    “not atypical behavior for her subspecies” Really? You’re right, Wonkette/commenters, this is a guy in his mom’s basement writing his sick version of Penthouse letters. “I never thought it would happen to me, I got to beat up my girlfriend AND an old woman! Here’s what happened…”

  • These guys all know that everyone else knows they’re virgins, right?

  • SpudRaider

    The only thing I can compare this enlightened fellow’s essay and commentary of his fellows is… DEAR PENTHOUSE I swear this is true.

    • Shartiblartfat

      You sir or madame, you win the Internet this morning!

    • Kevin Morin

      Dear Penthouse is where they normally exert their piimp* hands.

      *Disqus won’t allow correct spelling. :o

  • phoenix00

    The finest tonic for an MGTOW is a strong woman.

    • Serai 1

      What these toddlers need is to get bitchslapped by a girl.

      • SisterArtemis

        What these toddlers need is to hang out with a bunch of emotionally mature, reasonable guys who don’t need to resort to abuse and childish behavior to feel good about themselves. I can think of a few good wonketeers, though I’d never ask them to waste their time on those loser-kings.

        • BeachLoafer

          There’s the rub – we reasonably-well-adjusted adults have about the same tolerance for these morons as we do for the fake-news crowd. I doubt I could spend anywhere close to enough time in conversation with any of them to do them any good before propriety forced me to leave.

      • phoenix00

        …. which makes them cry even harder, as evidenced here.

      • phoenix00

        Now that I’ve thought about it a wee bit, I actually disagree. I don’t mind physically strong women, but beating up men only feeds their flawed narrative of mean-feminists-all-want-to-hurt-men.

        What I’d really like to see, and what I think really grates their grills, is /successful/ women in fields normally male-dominated. Women gaming developers, women engineers, women managers and supervisors, women C-level execs, women soldiers and generals, women captains…. women prime ministers and PRESIDENTS.

        Buuuut if more girls want to be Ronda Rousey or Serena Williams or Charlotte Flair, I’d cheer that ALL THE SAME.

  • Jesse

    Maybe there should be a wonkatariat expeditionary force sent to Rediapering of the Kids and relentlessly mock them while getting drunk.

    Good times.😀

  • Serai 1

    *yawn* These ball-clutching snowflakes are too boring for words.

  • thixotropic jerk

    I was attacked by an aging Swedish fish once for arguing forcefully and I might add rather manfully with my generally really sweet but at the time tequila-filled milk chocolate orange cream. She had the audacity to ask to drape my participation unitard across her fondant. Now mind you I was awarded that onesie for almost completing the Tough Hoofwanker Challenge earlier that day. Thing is although Candy had it coming even though we all know ACALT. But when that cold old Swedish fish spit negativisms at me like Candy Ass Hat and Low Sugar Daddy I srsly felt like smacking her into submission with my Pimp Candy Hands. But I refrained from teaching her a lecithin because before she left she said there was still something Good ‘n Plenty in me.

    • atlantaloves

      whaaaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaa, good one, I needed that today, now it’s time for a Godiva. Thanks.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    I did a ninja warrior stage so she can walk home without a jacket is the stupidest argument I’ve ever heard.

    • Sakonyachen

      Most lies fall apart under scrutiny.

  • Always intervene when you see someone being abused. But, when you intervene talk to the victim. Do not engage the abuser. It is similar to defusing cruel gossip: say something nice about the victim.

    • H0mer0

      (thanks for the reminder)

  • John Strycharz

    It is good to mock MRAs and their ilk (don’t ask me to keep track of the acronyms and sub-sets of misogynists, I can’t be bothered) but in all likelihood this story is pure fiction. He has a girlfriend? Unlikely. He competes in some kind of Neanderthal amateur Olympics? Yah, right. These keyboard gender warriors are just pathetic slobs using the internets to live in fantasy land, in between trips upstairs for more Cheesy Poofs.

    • Eh, there is a “subspecies” of MRA/PUA/KKK that is the kind of asshole Crossfit style of fitness. Usually these manly, strenuous activities with other menszes are their escape valve for their self-hating homosekshul feefees.

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        True. I encountered one of those guys on the Twatters – a weirdly-shaped, massively-overmuscled man whose TL was full of pictures of himself without a shirt, who told me that all the problems in the world stemmed from too many boys being raised to be “emotional” by “unwed mothers.” He also thought that “unwed mothers” caused more trouble than racism and that they – and not racism – were the reason for poverty and even redlining.
        I responded that two things impressed me about him – 1) how many stereotypes he could cram into a single tweet, and 2) how impressed he was by testosterone.
        Oddly enough, the poor widdle snowflake blocked me right after that.

    • Mildred Broxon

      Er–in a Neanderthal amateur Olympics the H. sapiens neanderthalensis would wipe the floor with this “H. sapiens sapiens,” one-handed. And that’s the female Neanderthals.

  • Unsaintific

    Here is what truly happened.

    This guy finally got frustrated of being a virgin and decided to venture outside of his mom’s basement. Went to a bar to pick up a woman but didn’t have the guts to approch any one. So got drunk and built up his virgin rage. Storms outside and in desperation grabs an elderly woman thinking she wouldn’t fight back. But the Swedish lady proceedes to b!tchslap the sh!t out him and leaves his sorry ass on the road.

    Mom asks why he looks like like a dirty ass-hat. Dumbo comes up with the his BS:

    “Tough Viking (no fucking way) contest, mom. Had to run 15 kilometers plus did 30 more or less physically demanding obstacles. The competition includes swimming and wading in fairly cold water, as well as crawling through thick layers of mud”

    Crawls back into the basement and posts his version.

  • unionthuggery

    I know we’re supposed to be against bullying, but maybe, just maybe, these guys didn’t get bullied enough? Maybe they’ve been allowed to develop their entitlement complex, and their imaginary “alpha-male” kingliness, precisely because they’ve never been intimidated, ridiculed, or pushed around by the kind of men or women that actually compete in Viking challenges, Ironman competitions, or Lumberjack games. Maybe just a little bullying is necessary for learning how to function in society?

    I dunno, maybe I just like the idea of these guys being pushed around by one of the badass lady firefighters I know.

  • Jo Mathie

    “Subspecies” Jesus wept. I agree with what has been said before though – these types of men are so fragile and insecure that they are the ones that will snap and do something terrible. Like the Margaret Atwood quote “men are afraid that women will laugh at them, women are afraid men will kill them” these are the sort of people it most applies to. You can add incels to the list too. They are literally incapable of relationships because they either don’t see women as human beings or think that they are being cruelly denied of a girlfriend because women be bitches. When their defects are pointed it is always the woman’s fault.I’m lucky that I’ve only ever met one man like that and the men in my life despise them to (“white knights” in MRA terms “rolls eyes”). If you don’t see women as equal to men then that’s when hurting them can be brushed off. It’s really quite awful.

  • Sakonyachen

    I’m curious how one competes in a “Tough Viking” competition and then needs their (stylish) jacket afterwards. Weren’t Vikings Nordic? And if she is a subspecies as he so eloquently put it, why would he expect her to be able to survive without his manliness providing some sort of warmth for her? I looked up the Tough Viking competition. It looks like a serious amount of endurance for someone who has to cry online about being accosted by RANDOM SWEDESSES!

    I’m gonna have to call bullshit on this dude. Probably wasn’t in the race. Definitely doesn’t have a girlfriend, and he is a HOOFWANKING BUNGLECUNT WHOREMONKEY!!!!

    Or his penis is tiny. Could be that too. IDK how that feels. Never had that issue as long as I stayed out of porn shoots.

    • Upfist for “HOOFWANKING BUNGLECUNT WHOREMONKEY”

    • The Flaming Carrot

      I, too, call bullshit. You can’t just enter the “Tough Viking” competition if you’re just bopping around Europe, as he seems to be.

      I don’t know what “William Adams” is hoping to do by mating with a “subspecies.” They might have infertile offspring, like a zonkey or a liger. That would defeat the whole purpose of the MRA, which is usually comprised of the same people who kvetch about the “White Genocide.”

    • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

      Assuming he did participate, which is not impossible – athletic people can be assholes, too – notice he CHOSE to wade through mud and all that shit, and yet he resents his girlfriend for not wanting to be cold. This suggests that he didn’t really want to do it for himself, as some people do, but felt compelled to do it to prove his thoughness. Which means he’s insecure. Insecure enough to write a fucking essay on some bullshit site after getting a talking-to from a well-meaning middle-aged woman.

      • Sakonyachen

        I’m not sure that it’s bullshit but it would be almost be more dignified if he made it up.

  • Invidosa

    I just can’t get over the level of entitlement these “people” display. I just KNOW this is some MAGA motherfucker from the “party of personal responsibility”

  • miss_grundy

    It makes you want to grab his parents, pick the widest switch and take them to the woodshed for a “disciplining” session. And without benefit of votes whatsoever.

    • More effective to build a time machine and go back to hand daddy a condom or anything. This asshat comes from bad rootstock.

      • spacecat in space

        Or just cut off his dad’s balls.

        With votes.

    • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

      You’re assuming it’s his parents fault, like everyone always does on the Internet. Some people become pieces of shit to rebel against their parents; children aren’t clay who turn out exactly like their parents intend.

      • miss_grundy

        I read a post from a woman whose best friend’s parents owned a furniture store in Queens. It appears that Fred used to like to take the kids with him to the store when he would meet with the owner and Tangerini would run around jumping on the furniture and acting like a first class brat. She didn’t mention his siblings. So, Tangerini is the problem child who turned out that way and his parents either didn’t do anything about it while they could, which is why they put him in military school. They should have handed him over to some Dominican or Franciscan nuns. They would have disciplined him.

  • 50 is elderly??!? Blow me, broflake.

  • BeachLoafer

    Robyn, if you keep reading that website you’ll go blind – bleaching your eyes afterward is not good for them!

  • “Yes, it is very, very clear that he fully intends to remain an ass hat!”
    I don’t thing intent has anything to do with it. Some folks, when presented with facts, can change. This fucker is asshat to the bone. It’s in his blood. I hope he’s not a blood donor…we don’t need to spread his disease around.

    Also, asshat if a fragile fucking flower, ain’t he?

  • Also this…how did he know she was Swedish? Did she open the “assault” with “bork bork bork”?

    • Dressed like Jamie Lee Curtis on the train in Trading Places? (“Ja, from Sweden”)

      • H0mer0

        I recall she was wearing a ruck sack but I thought she was wearing a Tyrolean outfit (it’s been a while since I saw that movie.)

        • Yeah, the butler (dressed as a priest) remarks on this, “…but you’re wearing lederhosen!”

    • (((Aron)))

      She had red gummy fish that she threw at him.

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        Were those farm-raised or wild-caught Swedish fish?

        • (((Aron)))

          Genetically modified!

        • (((Aron)))

          Also, I’ve meant to tell you how much I love you Sgt Keroro. He’s awesome.

          Needs more Gunpla, though.

      • The Flaming Carrot

        They now come in orange, green and yellow, too.

        • (((Aron)))

          WHAAAAAAA?????

          • The Flaming Carrot

            Purchased at IKEA. But they may have been shaped like seahorses.

          • (((Aron)))

            Swedish seahorses!

      • Regret

        Fun fact: Swedish fish are completely unknown in Sweden, or anywhere else in Europa.

    • phoenix00

      She was a chef making meatballs with a side of lingonberry sauce?

    • Judging by this asshat’s syntax & the metric measurments, I’m guessing this may well have happened in Sweden. Note that the quoted bits don’t refer to the woman’s nationality. And I can totally picture a 50-something Swedish woman getting up in said asshat’s face about not yelling at his girlfriend.

  • Tokays_don’t_blink

    WTF with this “subspecies” shit? We are all Homo gods-damned sapiens, ya feculent hairball!

    • handyhippie65

      they are the subspecies, hence their lack of suitable mates. it seems the only throwbacks are male.

      • Tokays_don’t_blink

        Natural selection is not their friend.

  • H0mer0

    I wish some badass “RANDOM SWEDESS” (thank you, Sackonyachen!) woulda told my dad something like that years ago. It may not have worked and my sons may still need to tell him to chill (I am so proud of them.)

  • WhoCheckedRussia’sVoterID

    I must apologize to you Robyn. I really love your writing. But I got half way through like the 4th quote and I just couldn’t go on. I mean…The 4th quote! I was a real trouper! And I did it for you.

    Fortunately for myself, I have a built in self defense mechanism that involves throwing my computer off of my third story walk up balcony when I am in serious peril of spontaneously exploding vomit from every orifice and pore.

    So yay me!

    Where do I send the bill for the new machine?

  • sweet freedom

    “like Gandhi I stoically remain calm.” Translation – “I was shitting my pants knowing that this woman could kick my douchebag ass. My little pee pee crawled back into my body cavity like a turtle popping its head back into its shell.”

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Defenders of the historically powerful having the sheer, unmitigated stones to reference Gandhi. That might be the most “With Votes”-inducing element of this entire story.

      • sweet freedom

        No doubt. The lack of self-awareness is breathtaking.

  • sgt. jmk of the résistance

    “My girlfriend is from a relatively traditional country.”

    Translation: She is a mail-order bride I got from a catalogue.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      “Pump hand” = “wimp hand”

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      “Da, is better than be involved with Orange Pissant.” — Girlfriend

  • Mike Steele

    Yet another reason I’m up at night over BFF’s recent betrayal by hub of 33+ years. He figures she’d just better ‘get over it’, while declining to ‘unfriend’ his first wife, with whom he’s been cheating. She is now suicidal; I’ve held back on my homicidal urges regarding her rat-fuckin’ spouse. Admittedly, we’re all old – so now I wonder where this latest brainless generation gets the message that ignorant men can mistreat women at will and be celebrated for their stupidity and lack of self-awareness. Listen, girls – this should NOT define your future. There should be no space in your lives for such cretins. If they define themselves as MenGoingTheirOwnWay, there’s a REASON for that. Think it over, ladies.

    • handyhippie65

      they’re only going their own way ’cause nobody wants to be seen in public with them.

  • Alan

    Should have just given her your jacket if she was cold. Then you would be less of an asshat.

    • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

      C’mon man! It was STYLISH!

      • handyhippie65

        it sure didn’t need no girl cooties on it.

  • The Flaming Carrot

    I think my mother-in-law’s husband may be a secret ROK fan/MRA. When she met him (she was grieving the death of her previous husband), he didn’t have a pot to piss in. After she married him, he started acting like he was the absolute shit. True to form for an MRA, he’s as dumb as a box of dull rocks. He chopped down a beautiful lilac bush because he didn’t know the difference between it and a weed. He can’t park a car without denting it. He tries to build the frame of a jigsaw puzzle with center pieces. He refers to my house as my husband’s house. Did I mention that he voted for Paul Nehlen?

    He yells at my MIL regularly, and not just because she is hard of hearing. There’s a nasty edge in his tone that she can’t seem to hear. A couple of weeks ago, he tried the same shit with me. I would have kicked him in the ass, but I was genuinely afraid of hurting his brain.

  • TJ Barke

    Just sterilize the earth, Aliens. We’re hopeless.

  • javadavis

    That Viking competition thingy? I heard that Vikings were real ass hats, too. It’s true, I heard it from a Norwegian cousin. She seemed plenty irate about those Vikings still giving her a bad rap for being Nosrkie all these centuries later. It was almost like a nice, genteel Southerner being upset about their ancestors being such ass hats and having slaves earn all their money for them. I do hear, from time to time, that us Norskies got a reputation for having a temper or two.
    So, anyway, maybe he is just continuing his theme of admiring and imitating ass hats.

  • BearDeLaOursistance

    What. The. ACTUAL.

    Time for Bear to move out of Mpls so he can actually run into a few of these “MRA” dicknuts, and apply Votes to the areas indicated on the diagram.

  • Pisto75666

    “The same day I had competed in the Tough Viking contest, which consists of 15 kilometers of running and about 30 more or less physically demanding obstacles. The competition includes swimming and wading in fairly cold water, as well as crawling through thick layers of mud.”

    And that’s just the PS3 version! I hear the PS4 one is even better

  • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

    Great point in your conclusion, Robyn. Some of these losers are already on the drop edge of yonder.

  • Delu

    But, you know, the rest of the time was Gandhi

    Hmmm…

    *remembers Civilization series’s Gandhi…

    • handyhippie65

      i got him called a tyrant once. but i’m a really real dick in video games.

  • John Norris

    This is nothing but the Tough Viking MRA’s first draft of chapter one in his dominatrix fantasy. Later his ‘girlfriend’ spanks his ass under the tutorage of the elderly Swedish lady.

  • CaliCheeseSucks

    Damn. How did I miss the demise of XOJane?!?!

  • Gary Bohn
    • Incoming Ham

      Is that for real?

  • Smarter than Your Average Bear

    Both my stepsons are facing prison time right now for interfering when an asshat like this was physically “putting his girlfriend in her place”. They beat the crap out of the guy but the “girlfriend”, as is so often the case with abused women, is, bruises and all, supporting her abuser, and there are no other witnesses. If you see something like this happening – get video, call the cops and then if you step into the fray leave your cell phone in record mode.

    • PrecipitousDrop

      Yelling’s OK.
      Smiting? Not so much.

  • Incoming Ham

    “Our pimp hand”

    Is that like my “ho knee?” The one that makes swift and sharp contact with your tiny tackle?

  • James Baskin

    50 is old? I’m phucked.

  • handyhippie65

    i remember stomping some dude in a bar cause he hit his woman in front of me. a man does not put his hands on a woman in violence. a punk does, and should be punked out with all due speed, and violence needed to do so.i wonder how bad snowflake king would have felt waking up from an ass whuppin from somebodies granpa?

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