SHARE
YOUR GOD IS DEAD.

Oh hey, Donald Trump! We’ve been hearing you might want to pardon all the people who may or may not have done crimes in your name! BAD IDEA.

Oh hey, Paul Manafort! We see the FBI raiding your house before you’ve even had time to do your hour of morning poops, and special counsel Robert Mueller is serving subpoenas on your PR people and your old lawyer and your spokesperson, and OH BOY, things are just getting H-O-T-T up in here for you! Should you flip on your boy Trump? Will he go ahead and pardon you, even if right now he’s pretending he doesn’t know you and seems to be leaking stories to the National Enquirer about you having sex scandals?

Boys, we have some news that’s bad for you and good for America. Politico reports that, as we’ve long suspected, Mueller is working with New York State Attorney General Eric Schneiderman in his investigation. This is significant for several reasons:

  • Donald Trump can’t protect anybody from prosecution for state crimes, which means his pardons ain’t mean shit in Schneiderman’s courtroom.
  • Uh oh, it looks like Mueller and Schneiderman really are finding Manafort CRIMES here!
  • If Mueller and Schneiderman have such a hard-on to go after Manafort’s CRIMES, Mueller must be pretty sure Manafort has the skinny on EVEN BIGGER CRIMES done by the president and members of his family. Better flip, Paulie!

Say it with us: WHOA IF TRUE! (It’s most likely true.)

Here’s a bit about what Mueller and Schneiderman are cooking up:

The two teams have shared evidence and talked frequently in recent weeks about a potential case, these people said. One of the people familiar with progress on the case said both Mueller’s and Schneiderman’s teams have collected evidence on financial crimes, including potential money laundering.

No decision has been made on where or whether to file charges. “Nothing is imminent,” said one of the people familiar with the case.

Financial crimes? Money laundering? You can’t (allegedly!) spell those things without M-A-N-A-F-O-R-T! How many times have we told you about weird payments Manafort has received from Russian and pro-Russian Ukrainian oligarchs? You know, all those bizarre, possibly illegal activities that FINALLY led Manafort to register as a foreign agent. The ones his daughter Andrea called “blood money.”

Some of the crimes Mueller and Schneiderman might be looking at very well could be state crimes. And trust that if Mueller has chosen to work with Schneiderman’s jurisdiction, it means there are a lot of things that could be prosecuted specifically as New York crimes.

Isn’t this fun? As the kids on “Morning Joe” noted Thursday morning, Mueller is playing three-dimensional chess here, whereas Donald Trump is playing “three-dimensional Hungry Hungry Hippos,” which is just a hilarious joke and we award them three Wonkette whore diamonds for it.

Politico notes that Schneiderman and Donald Trump have a long history, and that Trump haaaaaaaate him. Schneiderman has gone after Trump’s sham charitable foundation, and he was the one who won the $25 million settlement against the fake-ass Trump University.

And now maybe he gets to help fuck Trump’s presidency right up, through the time-tested legal strategy known as “Fuck you gonna do about it, bro?”

Pop some popcorn or whatever!

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Wonkette salaries are fully paid by lovely souls like you! If you love us, click below to fund us!>

[Politico]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Msgr_MΩment

    Robert Mueller is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life.

    • Augustus

      he can throw a football — a perfect spiral — he can throw a football all the way to the Pacific Ocean from his office

      I’ve seen him do it! Twice!

    • Ill-Advised

      Batman has him on speed dial! He’s too modest for a big, mob-alertin’, scare-the-population signal!

  • GunToting[Redacted]
  • can I get a witness?

  • Msgr_MΩment

    I’ll be in seclusion this morning. Please don’t disturb unless its ultra important.
    https://www.facebook.com/LaBioguiaTV/videos/560644324059146/

    • calliecallie

      Breathe, doggo, deep breaths.

    • FiveAcres

      Our Boston Terrier would totally do this. Our Miniature Schnauzer, not so much.

  • memzilla Ω
    • GoutMachine

      Sen. Paul Simon?

      • PubOption

        OT, but has Melania tried the ‘diamonds in the soles of her shoes’ thing?

  • Stulexington

    Nah, Trump isn’t playing 3 dimensional anything he’s playing checkers and every move he makes he says “king me.”

    • Me not sure

      He keeps extra checkers in his pocket and just slips them on when your not looking, then pardons himself

      • ibwilliamsi

        He’s used to “his house his rules”, but this time he’s in OUR house – our rules!

        • Me not sure

          Somebody needs to count the towels and silverware when he is impeached.

          • ibwilliamsi

            To hell with the towels and silverware, this asshole will be dismantling sinks and light fixtures.

          • Ill-Advised

            How? He’s “You’re Fired” all the people who knew where the switches were.

          • ibwilliamsi

            He’ll hire a Mexican, then deport him the next day without pay.

    • Augustus

      you sunk my battleship!

      you sunk my battleship!

      you…

  • h4rr4r

    Isn’t this Mueller’s schtick?
    He works his way trading deals on lesser crimes for convictions on bigger ones?

    • Joe Beese

      Prosecuting 101, I imagine.

  • stankbait

    “Captain, she is about to blow!”

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Aw shit. I’m really sad I never thought of 3D Hungry Hungry Hippos. That is some comedy gold.

    But speaking of, it’s hitting the fan. Will the treasonous GOP fucks that have so-far refused to do anything to hinder the Traitor-in-Chief see the writing/poop-splatter on the wall and start doing something about impeachment?

    • little miss high and mighty

      joe done stoled a real old joke

  • Iron Monkey

    What he said: No decision has been made on where or whether to file charges. “Nothing is imminent,” said one of the people familiar with the case.

    What he meant: “Sign off on the last round of changes and then head to the grand jury.”

    • Stulexington

      Yeah, prosecutors always say that weather the case seems to be going nowhere or the court date is about to be set.

  • JMP

    When someone, like Donnie, combines being incredibly stupid with believing he’s smarter than everybody, he doesn’t exactly do a good job with the coverup.

    • Stulexington

      Actually the fine art of covering your tracks seems to be lost with the current crop of politicos. Way too many people think either they won’t get caught or honestly believe their own hype and think it’s not the least bit hinky.

      • The bold criminal, steals a car at the point of a gun, runs through lights… “no one can catch me,” he thinks in a coke-induced fog. The audience gasps as he goes through intersection after intersection… barely missing crisscrossing cars – causing accidents, leaving fires and wrecks behind him…

        His tires leave the road several times as he careens left and right, and clears bumps and gaps, launching into the air and crashing down…. Immature kids cheer at the tvs… “look at him go! He’s gonna make it!”

        Inside the car, head rushing like a river, “I got this, BITCHES!” leans out the window and shoots at the closest pursuing cop car…

        A helicopter hovers overhead… he takes a shot at it.

        It doesn’t end well.

      • Augustus

        they pulled the trigger on this coup thing just a couple years too early, there are still enough of us with our wits about us to fight back

        if they’d waited another 5 or 10 I think it would’ve gone off much more smoothly

        • Stulexington

          I don’t know if they could have held it together that long, the teabaggers were already staring to go off script (most notably Ted shutdown Cruz.) The tea party really did more damage to the coup than anyone else and that says something kinda sad about the Democratic party.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          The future is yet to come….

    • Christopher Story

      My nephew came in with muddy shoes once, so he grabbed my kitchen rug and put it over the footprints. This strikes me as about the same level of sophistication Trump exercises in his attempts to cover over his crimes.

  • calliecallie

    This cannot happen soon enough for me.

  • Christopher Story

    The Trump boosters are getting nervous

    “‘Six months is enough’: Fox & Friends call for end to Mueller probe as special counsel turns up the heat”

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/08/six-months-is-enough-fox-friends-call-for-end-to-mueller-probe-as-special-counsel-turns-up-the-heat/

    • kareemachan

      Especially when it took over two years for something to happen to Nixon.

    • GoutMachine

      Remind me, someone, how long did Kenneth “Rapist Cover-Upper” Starr’s investigation last?

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        The non-existent one over the rapes done by his college footballers?

    • C4TWOMAN

      They know what’s coming…and the embarrassment over supporting such a clown car presidency will be brutal because they know, they should have known better.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    This stirs my loins.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Joe Beese
    • Christopher Story

      Funny, a Democratic bastion gets hit by a devastating hurricane, relief funding was like getting blood from a turnip. Now that it’s a Republican stronghold, they can’t fall over themselves fast enough to offer all the relief aid.

      • Nounverb911

        Houston has a Democratic mayor….

        • Christopher Story

          Texas also has Both Bushes, Louis Gohmert, Ted Cruz, and Greg Abbot

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Okay, you win.

            Wait, actually…

    • Augustus

      FUCK YOU

  • theblackdog

    Oh please let it come to actual charges that stick and goes all the way to the top and takes down the Trumps and most of the GOP

    • Stulexington

      They say RINO, we say RICO.

    • ExecutorElassus

      If you’ve been following Russian Conspiracy Twitter, the general consensus in the legal and intelligence community is, “they all die in jail, and we’re going to be left with ‘President Hatch’ for the remainder.”
      And I am here for it. Let’s watch Ivanka cry-typing on her twitter as Daddy and her brothers get perp-walked to federal prison, right before they haul her child-labor-exploiting ass off as well. Let’s watch half the upper-tier GOP get rolled up on money laundering and conspiracy and state RICO shit. Let’s watch state marshals sieze all the hotels (boy, I bet they’ll be glad they had the KKKeebler Elf write up all those expanded civil forfeiture regs just in time!), because none of them make any money at all, and have been used to launder Russian mob money for decades.
      Let’s watch the whole rotten edifice of the modern GOP, the Revanchist right, the neo-confederacy, those assholes who think the local sheriff is a law unto himself, all their hopes and dreams of dismantling “the administrative state” and hamstringing the federal government to appease their tax-cutting oligarch paymasters come crashing down, and all the dumb rubes who’ve been hoodwinked into voting for trickle-down economics on the promise of punitive, racist fascism get revealed to be not “true American Patriots” at all, but fifth-column traitors and useful idiots acting at the unwitting behest of Chekist provotskaya and active measures.
      Fuck all these people who’ve been crowing for decades about how much money they’d make presiding over the downfall of America, and may they rot in jail forever, may their most recent and ungracious victory turn to ashes in their mouths, may their business empires be ground to dust beneath Swift Justice, and may their legacy be forever and at long last stained with the accusation of treason.

      • Shanzgood

        *fans self*

      • with votes.

      • Tovarish Z

        From your mouth to God’s ear!

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        I’ve parsed this in a nonlawyerly way, and, if I’m right, nothing here deserves the Banhammer….

        • ExecutorElassus

          To be clear, “die in jail” is intended to mean “after a long life, slowly being psychologically crushed watching everything they’ve worked all their lives to build get dismantled piece by rotten piece and flattened under the wheels of an inexorable federal and state prosecutorial juggernaut.”
          Kenneth Lay, CEO of Enron and the personification of a rapacious capitalist, willing to fuck over an entire state to add to his company’s bottom line, died of a heart attack before he was even sentenced.
          I wish all of these people the best of physical health, and a long life ahead of them.
          I want them to see it all.

        • ExecutorElassus

          Also, too: I’ve been at Wonkette since it and Consumerist were a part of the early Gawker empire. I’ve been through four different iterations of the comments system. I think I’ll weather any complaints about my righteous indignation and its colorful expression in prose.

      • NastyBossetti

        Forever and ever amen.

      • Cock Blockula

        Preach it brother/sister!

      • Nasty Woman Persisted
      • Ill-Advised

        I totally did not have a hot flash, reading this. I might have shimmied, just a little bit.

        This is a fine example of Chinese cursing…

  • Me not sure

    I never cease to be amazed at what I find by way of a simple Google search.
    https://youtu.be/kUrQiLy_8p4

    • Joe Beese

      Wait til you see the porn version.

      • Me not sure

        The true pompatus of love!

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          Maurice?

          • Red Richmond

            Some people call him that. Many people are saying that, more and more people every day in fact, the best people. Some are even, so I hear, calling him the gangster of love, and boy is he ever, and the ladies just let him grab ’em…but you’ll learn all about that later, right Boy Scouts of America?

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Pump-at-us?

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Heh

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “No Digital Hippos Were Mistreated for this production. They are naturally that hungry.”
      — American Humane Society.

    • little miss high and mighty

      not really 3-D hippo hungry game, just a 3-D tribute.
      3-D Hippos would be a rearrangement on each move, as in 3-D whatevers.
      Maybe changinng places or giving up marbles or maybe more and more marbles like yuge- or maybe exceeting the marbles FROM the hippos.
      Avoid the zero sum outcomes and trick-proof compensations. The fix is always in.

  • beatbort

    This, in the wake of the federal judge in Arizona asking for “prove it!” filings in the Sheriff Joe Arpaio pardon, is extra sweet.

  • MrTusks

    Fast Meullercat, kill, kill!

  • Donald Trump can’t protect anybody from prosecution for state crimes, which means his pardons ain’t mean shit in Schneiderman’s courtroom.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ec720ffa697c92ee513e1c0d18079754c7e2c31734578aa26de838c6c6e82965.gif

    Lesson: The FBI will find a way to fuck you up if you fuck with them, kids.

  • Nounverb911
    • TJ Barke

      That’s so weird… I have a tupperware container exactly like that, that I also eat popcorn out of…

      • writersbloc

        I always suspected of you being a raccoon….

        • TJ Barke

          On the internet no one knows you’re a trash panda…

  • eastcoastlib

    Why is it okay for Mueller and the NY AG to collude huh? No fair!!!

    Signed,
    Every Trump voter

  • Joe Beese

    Breitbart panties: Bunched

    If the report, first published in Politico, is true, it would be the latest fact undermining the integrity and impartiality of Mueller’s inquiry, which Democrats hope will result in the president being impeached and the results of the 2016 election forever called into question.

    Mueller has already hired Democrat donors and an attorney who worked for the Clinton Foundation. Schneiderman is one of the most partisan state attorneys general, and has been one of President Trump’s most vociferous public opponents. He helped lead the fight against Trump’s executive order suspending travel from terror-prone countries, calling it “just a Muslim ban by another name.” He also sued Trump for fraud in the Trump University case, and announced in 2016 — during the height of the presidential campaign — that he was investigating Trump’s charities.

    USA Today noted at the time that Schneiderman and Trump “have been involved in a years-long public feud.” In April, Schneiderman reportedly hired a liberal, Bernie Sanders-linked consulting group to help generate lawsuits against the Trump administration. Schneiderman also has a history of politically-charged litigation, including an effort to cover up emails that former Attorney General Eliot Spitzer sent from a private account while in office.

    There could not be a more inappropriate person to be seen working with Mueller in an investigation that is already viewed as a politically-motivated effort to undo the results of a democratic election.

    • Stulexington

      Yes because investigating him for previous crimes makes him ineligible to investigate him for further crimes because Trump was mean to him about it so now he’s hopelessly biased. I mean he’s the STATE Attorney General he should just do his job and stay out of federal investigations.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Maybe he’s secretly Mexican…

        • Red Richmond

          With a mane like Schneiderman, more like half-mexican globalist (re: jooden).

      • Celtic_Gnome

        That’s Trump’s master plan. He’s going to get everyone in the world he’s ever pissed off excluded from investigating him because of Bias.

        • Stulexington

          And then all the jury pools for good measure so the only people who will sit on a jury are his lying fans.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Remind me again just what was “democratic” about the last election?

    • Christopher Story
      • SKruetheratbassedarDs

        Newtie: Continuing to answer the question, what happens to all of the used french-fry oil in this country . . .

      • FauxAntocles

        WTF

      • Khavrinen

        IOKIYAR defined in one picture.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        While he was having an adulterous affair, no less. Hypocrisy, thy name is newt.

    • Rags

      Keep twisting those knickers, Mueller!

    • Boojum

      Wah

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      It’s only impartial if it manages to implicate Hillary

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Why does an Attorney General need a consulting group to generate lawsuits? Isn’t that what the Attorney General does?

    • SeeTrain65

      “A politically-motivated effort to undo the results of politically-motivated effort using a foreign power to interfere with a democratic election.”

      Fixed that for ya, Bannon.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Nounverb911
  • MynameisBlarney

    Ugh…
    Dear Lard give me the strength not to choke out my goddamned annoying as fuck dad and brother.
    R’Amen.

    • with votes?

    • Bill D. Burger
    • Shanzgood

      Does “choke out” mean that thing where you grab them in a headlock until they just pass out for a while? Because if there’s no permanent damage that might be kind of ok.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yes.
        Good goawd they are driving me fucking insane this morning.

        • Shanzgood

          I’m sorry. I don’t have a brother but you can borrow my libtart dad and uncles if you need a break.

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          What are they doing?

          • MynameisBlarney

            It’s really nothing big, just me in a shitty mood and their fucking idiocy on top of dealing with a rich customer that is crying poor but wants us to fix his boat on the cheap, morons on the road on the way to work and a job we can’t bill out yet because we keep getting the wrong goddamned starter relays, we’re not getting paychecks this week. My dad asking me 3 fucking times about my brothers fucking phone not ringing while I’m trying to do 10 things at once.

            It’s petty compared to what the people in Texas are dealing with right now, but I’m still fuckin pissed off.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      My sympathy. My RWNJ relatives are all at least 200 miles away, so I can stay off of Facespace to avoid their noxiousness. We’ve been timing our visits to spend the minimum amount of time in close contact and changing the conversation topic frequently.

    • Bobathonic

      Good luck with that.

    • goonemeritus

      Think of how sweet that “I told you so” will feel while you pass the can of cat food to your dad in our soon to be dystopian hellscape.

  • TundraGrifter

    “Schneiderman has gone after Trump’s sham charitable foundation…”

    Whatever happened with that?

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Still under investigation by the NY attorney general’s office, I believe.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Who says I can’t pardon state crimes! To show I can, I now pardon all rapists and murderers in New York State, even the Mexican ones. That’ll keep (((Schneiderman))) busy! And to enforce this policy, I’m dispatching the Sixth Fleet to liberate Attica, and…hey, John Kelly, give me back my phone, I’m the President you have to do it…[10 minutes of crying, begging, and yelling later] OK, I’ll be good…”
    — Donald Trump

  • Bright Bart
  • Bill D. Burger

    Think You Know How Deep Trump-Russia Goes? Think Again: This Chart/Info Will Blow Your Mind

    Brian Frydenborg

    International Affairs/Development/Public Policy Professional, Freelance Writer, Former Consultant USAID Jordan ROLP
    Perhaps the main problem with coverage of Trump’s Russia ties is that many of the various actors’ less salient ties to each other are missed, with much time and complexity often separating these (sub-)connections that greatly increase the level of Team Trump’s incrimination, redefining how this entire scandal needs to be discussed and understood.

    Sometimes seeing the bigger picture requires enough steps back to realize there are parts you didn’t even know were there, and in an age of 140-character Tweets, information overload, fake news, short attention spans, and a frequency and scale of scandals unheard of in the history of Western democratic politics, seeing that big picture can be harder than ever, even with the most-covered story in the world. ]

    https://media.licdn.com/mpr/mpr/AAEAAQAAAAAAAA2jAAAAJDg1MGZhY2RkLWEwNjktNDkwMC1iMGE2LWUzOTMyY2UzZTU4NQ.png

    • Christopher Story

      It looks like the spy wall at the end of the movie, when that last piece falls into place that makes everything else make sense.

    • Wolf Tracker

      Alot of the connections are Russian mafia like Semion Mogolovich that the CIA and FBI have been trying to take down for years and he got hold of stinger missiles and weapon grade nuclear materials after the fall of the Soviet Union.

      He was laundering his money through Trump and Kushner properties.

      They don’t want that operation compromised which this Trump investigation is already doing and 10 Russian diplomats in good health suddenly die and two Russians that were reporting to the CIA about hackers were recently arrested for treason by Putin.

      It also involves billionaire Russian Jewish mobster Steinmetz and Turkish president that wanted to kidnap the Turkish Imam involving Nunes and Flynn and a bunch of Rep congress that took Russian money for their campaigns.

      This is not going to end any time soon and will be going on for years to round up everyone involved.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Seems to be missing a couple Russian banks….

    • Michael Schofield must have helped put that together.

      Very good work anyway.

  • Wolf Tracker

    This isn’t just about Manafort and Trump and his kids and Kushner’s businesses are all incorporated in NY and Schneiderman is good friends with Preet Breharara that Trump fired because he was investigating RICO charges against Trump’s businesses dealings.

    So the NY investigation has been going on even before Mueller and they can pursue charges separate from Mueller that can not be pardoned.

    Mueller can use that as leverage to get people to flip or to put pressure on Trump and his family to resign and then charge them at the state level.

    I don’t think Mueller wants Trump to escape like Nixon did by getting a pardon from Ford and if Pence pardons Trump they can still go after him at the state level and RICO charges carry serious prison time and asset forfeiture and I am sure the end goal for SChneiderman is to dismantle the Trump empire piece by piece.

    • Stulexington

      Also too there’s no club Fed option for RICO, he’s gonna have an outfit that matches his completion.

      • Wolf Tracker

        Yup State time is much harder than Fed and they love to take part businesses for their assets. Big feather in their cap.

        • Trump at Rikers Island? Yes, please.

    • Just posted my hope that Bharara is on the Schneiderman team, officially or not.

      • Wolf Tracker

        I seen that and responded above.

    • Ms.Moon

      And the best part under Sessions they just redid the asset forfeiture laws to be even more draconian and if this goes down here in New York (New York hates Drumph) he’s going to be so broke and it will be his own fault. His lawyers will definitely not be getting paid then.

    • little miss high and mighty

      Just don’t allowPost DJT Pence &Mo time to reassemble and disemble in the temple.
      Besides pardons, Mike to still do crap. Maybe Mueller wants to stretch this out a bi for the big kill off.

  • cheetojeebus

    Just how many Wonkette green stamps does it take to buy a small whore diamond?

    • kareemachan

      They’re not green, they’re red, seeing as we’re all commies or something….

      • eastcoastlib

        It’s three abortionplex visits per whore diamond if memory serves

        • cheetojeebus

          Does the drive through count?

    • Me not sure
    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Only trade in hobo beans…

    • Baconzgood

      You can only get boxed wine and those little cakes we like. They also offer canned clams, but ironically.

      • cheetojeebus

        When i’m entertaining a nice boxed wine, some cedar cheez and canned clams on melba toast always thrills.

        • Baconzgood

          Canned clams?!!!!?!!!!!!1!!!.

          You’re worse than Stalin.

          • Ill-Advised

            AAAAAAAAAH!
            YOU MONSTERS!
            BOTH OF YOU!

  • And now maybe he gets to help fuck Trump’s presidency right up, through the time-tested legal strategy known as “Fuck you gonna do about it, bro?”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ab3824c2cca000774743a6604b96364ab63114108d5d6d116a13de79b5d6d807.gif

  • I think Trump might have done something wrong.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I love how Schneiderman is vindictive partisan liberal because he stopped Trump from sticking a knife in the ribs of commuters in Penn Station and stealing their wallets.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Trump’s very bad weeks….continue! rotfl

    1. Arpaio pardon backfired: Mueller working with NY AG. Walls closing on Manafort.
    2. Current trans policy still in place
    3. Mattis rebuked Trump on NK
    4. Tax cuts LOL

  • cheetojeebus
  • Bigby

    Dear whiny, shameless, hypocritical, chickenshit, snowflake Rethugs,

    Why don’t you light rape-apologist and domestic violence enthusiast Ken Starr on fire and shove him up your ass, sideways? You hurrr durrred for 8 fucking years as your boy dug the shitswamps of Arkansas looking for anything to destroy your political opponents you couldn’t defeat. Now, you excuse treason? Party. Before. Country. Every. Time.

    • OutOfOrbit

      you’re not mad, are yuh?

      • Bigby

        Righteously!

    • cheetojeebus

      I hear sterno is a great lube.

  • Upright Ape

    Couple’a weeks at Rikers Island general population might help spur Paulie’s testifying resolve. Make it so.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Bright Bart

      hahahaha!

    • proudgrampa

      Lakewood?

    • That would mean I’d have to go to church.
      Pass.

    • MizzMazz

      I HATE those! I haven’t waited tables in over 20 years, but those things were around back then. The Sunday crowd, messy, took up too many tables, overstayed their welcome, and no tips. Try giving your landlord one of those for rent.

    • SeeTrain65

      Another George Carlin gem, from What Am I Doing In New Jersey?

      Some of you might be familiar with some of my more famous tips from the past: How to get rid of counterfeit money? Put it in the collection plate at church!”

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Schniederman, on the other hand, thinks donald is great. He gives him the Number One gesture, ring-finger edition!…

  • Take backs take backs
    ollie ollie oxen free!

  • writersbloc

    WHOA. IF. MUTHERFUCKIN. TRUE.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • TJ Barke

    I love the smell of schadenfreude in the morning. Smells like; Victory.

  • ariel_gee_398

    You know, if Trump hadn’t run for president, most of his crimes would probably have not been investigated and would have gone unpunished. Sure, he would have had to pay up for his Trump U scam, and maybe some of his circle would have been caught up in Preet Bharara’s investigation. But the long-rumored large-scale money laundering, the charitable scamming, the things that carry the possibility of real jail time would probably not be poked at. I hope that when and if the downfall comes, and Ivanka and Jared are hauled out in cuffs with him, someone reminds of him of that.

    • proudgrampa

      Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I think we have a LONG way to go…

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Don’t forget that the TU scam netted him over $135 million (or some such figure close to it) and that paying $25 million “restitution” resulted in a tidy, tidy profit for him, while not coming close to reimbursing his victims for their own stupidity in spending that money the tuition they were grifted out of.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Mueller: “From the beginning, I had a cornucopia of riches. Just picking a starting point was the most difficult thing.”

    http://i2.cdn.turner.com/cnn/2017/images/05/08/trump-russia-interactive.jpg

    • There’s that Trump vagina-neck again…..

      • Vincent Ricola

        I can never unsee.

      • laineypc

        Vagina libelz. And really? I don’t know what kind of v-jays you been lookin at…. Plus Pedantic Service Announcement: it’s really the vulva- the external genitalia. Vag is on the inside. But everyone gets that mixed up.

        • Vulva-neck doesn’t have the same ring to it, and all labia lead to either a vagina or pie-hole….

          People also get anus and rectum mixed up. It’s terrible.

  • Scooby

    State prison is a lot more badass than federal

    • Covfefe

      Nah. Attica is one of them Country Clubs.

    • Joe Beese

      Manafort’s goods are tasty enough to get him full immunity, I’ll bet. Certainly enough to serve any sentence in minimum security.

      And Trump will see the inside of a jail cell the day Ted Cruz becomes a human being.

  • Rags

    Who knew that the crap that grifty NY real estate goons get up to doesn’t work when running the fucking United States of America?

  • Bill D. Burger

    Knock knock
    Manafort: “Who’s there?”
    ‘FBI ___ bitch!’

    https://mikk2.files.wordpress.com/2017/08/raid.jpg?w=500&h=381

  • cheetojeebus

    That bit last night on Rachel about the Alfa Bank apologist being nommed for Justice Criminal division capo really chapped my ass.

  • Joe Beese

    Charles Pierce:

    Manafort seems to be a pile of bones by the side of the road at this point. He’ll flip, or he already has. His testimony would open a lot of doors that a lot of people would prefer stay shut. … The president already has yapped about Schneiderman in public, a sure sign that he’s worried about what else Schneiderman might have. Whatever Schneiderman does, there isn’t a damn thing the president can do about it.

    http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/news/a57289/robert-mueller-trump-russia-schneiderman

    • Rags

      And Congress has bupkus to say about how long Schneiderman digs and where. And I for one will totally KickStart a fund to pay Mueller as much as he needs for as long as he needs.

    • george lastrapes

      Who else could be vulnerable to that strategy?

      • Permit-holder Ron

        Can’t think of any names, but I’ll bet a cookie Mueller and Schneiderman have a list.

    • miss_grundy

      I love how he refers to Tangerini as president*. Ha!

  • Baconzgood

    “You’re going to work with us Paul”
    “AM NOT!”
    “Then you’re going to Sing Sing”
    “Where do I sign”

    I love how much these white collar guys are pussies. They will roll over on their grand ma when faced with 36 months in a half way house

  • GoutMachine

    Is überschadenfreude a word? Cuz it needs to be.

  • I hope Preet Bharara is involved on the Schneiderman side of the equation.

    • Wolf Tracker

      He is but probbly staying in the background so Trump’s lawyers can’t claim it is a revenge case because Trump fired Preet.

      Schneiderman and Preet are good friends and worked together.

      • miss_grundy

        Preet has a job working for a law institute at NYU right now but he is probably offering his pal his notes.

  • Wolf Tracker

    I would not be surprised to hear Grassely has to recuse himself as head of Senate investigation for attempted bribery when Trump called him to discuss ethanol deals in Iowa.

    If he doesn’t there is going to be a call for public testimony from Don Jr. so there can be no shenanigans pulled to cover up the investigation.

    • Joe Beese

      Can’t we show the President’s son at least basic courtesy? Have you no shame, at long last?

      • Wolf Tracker

        OK I will show appropriate contrition as he is perp walked out of the court room.

        • Ill-Advised

          “Appropriate.” I like the cut of your jib, sir or ma’am.

      • Notreelyhelping

        Nope.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        Fuck him. Show him as much courtesy as he deserves.

      • LeftyProud

        Don Jr? Are you serious? He is knee-deep in this crap. Barron is off limits, but how can anyone expect “courtesy” for the complicit children of the corn?

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          Poe.

        • miss_grundy

          And the little ferret fuckface wanted to get dirt on Hillz. He needs to go to prison and wear an orange jumpsuit.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Exclusive video of WH staff meeting to discuss implications of Mueller/Schneiderman cooperation:
    https://www.facebook.com/thetelegraphnews/videos/881860965304899/

    • cmd resistor

      I never knew this was a thing till my kid did a report on it for his high school Spanish class.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        I still can’t believe it.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Stulexington

      Ha, like Putin has any actual control over The Honest Don. He just kinda winds him up an watches him bump around like one of those old robots.

  • Shanzgood

    I wish someone out there was working as diligently on investigating Trump’s sex crimes.

    • Bright Bart

      that is a dirty pee filled job.

    • P’jama Pahnts

      Maybe find some white-collar convicted lawyer and make that be his/her punishment. Nah, too cruel.

      • Shanzgood

        There’s not enough money involved.

    • Wolf Tracker

      He paid them all off and got them to sign non-disclosures.

      If the dossier is accurate though we might get to see some of that exposed.

      • laineypc

        No way he was able to pay them more than what any news outlet in the free world would be willing to pay. Had to be threats to them and their families that is stopping them.

        • Shanzgood

          The woman who claimed he raped her when she was 13 cancelled a press conference right before the election because she was receiving death threats.

          • Wolf Tracker

            That and her boyfriend floated that she wanted a million dollar settlement. I think Trump paid her off.

          • Les Appentis De la résistance

            It might be the only person he’s ever paid.

        • Wolf Tracker

          He has manged to keep them quiet so far but when Trump goes down they might come forward to get a piece of the action.

          Women came out of the wood work when Bill was being impeached.

    • Spurning Beer

      I, for one, would consider each of his children to be a sex crime.

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Wolf Tracker

      Page is a real nutjob that even the Russians laughed at.

      I think that is why he has not been called to testify because he would be way too much of distraction from Trump and might even take the fall for him if the price was right.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Too big of an idiot to be a “Useful idiot”. If the allegations are true this is the guy Trump would want to issue a preemptive pardon to. All the money in the world wouldn’t help with the kind of jail time he’s looking at.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I’m not sure that follows. None of the people they used were exactly high quality.

  • Baconzgood

    Whoda thunk breaking they law had consequences.

    • Major_Major_Major

      For these grundleferrets, there haven’t been any til now. Hubris is a mean bitch. With fangs. And claws. And lasers

    • Mavenmaven

      Ask O’Keefe, obviously it doesn’t when the Rich have your back.

  • Pisto75666

    OT, sorta. http://www.rawstory.com/2017/08/six-months-is-enough-fox-friends-call-for-end-to-mueller-probe-as-special-counsel-turns-up-the-heat/

    A co-host on President Donald Trump’s favorite morning news show said on Thursday morning that it’s time to wind down special prosecutor Robert Mueller’s investigation into Russian meddling in the 2016 presidential election.

    Media Matters reports that Fox & Friends co-host Brian Kilmeade declared on Thursday that “six months is enough” time for Mueller to fully investigate the complex web of financial ties that potentially connect Trump and key members of his campaign staff with Russian oligarchs.

    To reinforce his point, he brought on Rep. Ron DeSantis (R-FL), who floated a proposal this week that would cut off funds for Mueller’s investigation after six months.

    “My amendment basically says, look, this thing needs to be limited to the campaign and Russia and it needs to have an end date,” DeSantis explained. “If you haven’t produced evidence of a crime after almost two years of investigating, because Comey investigated for a year before Mueller was appointed, then at some point we have to move on with the American people’s business.”

    Kilmeade then raised the alarm about the recent raid on the home of former Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort, who has a long history of shady deals with a pro-Kremlin political party in Ukraine.

    “Does it concern you what you’ve known so far, the fact that they raid Paul Manafort’s house?” asked. “They are looking at his international contacts.”

    DeSantis replied that it did bother him because, even if Manafort “did stuff two, three years ago,” that didn’t mean it had anything to do with Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election.

    Kilmeade then took aim at Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein, whom he accused of authorizing a “fishing expedition” with his appointment of Mueller.

    “Rosenstein seems to be a gift to Democrats and anti-Trumpers that just want to see this president not be successful,” Kilmeade said. “The way this was written seems criminal.”

    https://media.tenor.com/images/bc537472ec12dfd4389e4c328283e6b6/tenor.gif

    • Wolf Tracker

      They are getting scared and they had no such concerns when they impeached Bill for a consensual adult affair or went after Hillary for Benghazi for over a year.

      • Augustus

        yeah, I really don’t want to hear any of their bloviating nonsense about investigations taking too long

        they can just fuck right the fuck off, forever

      • William

        C’mon it was only 11 investigations and 42 million. More than the 911 commission, more than the Pearl harbor investigation, the Warren commission and the Nuremburg trials. But, hey what’s a few million dollars of taxpayers money if it can cost a democratic candidate an election. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c8ccf092366875fd94536ce4a7162b28a8f12db8ae4ee712842013a272086652.jpg

      • Pisto75666

        They’d STILL be going after Hilary if they knew they could get away with it.

        • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

          Jason “No That’s Just My Face” Chaffetz recently was STILL blargh-sharting words out about Hillary Clinton’s emails just yesterday.

          • Pisto75666

            Imagine waking up and having to be Jason Chaffetz? I’m exhausted just thinking about it.

          • miss_grundy

            I already do not like looking in mirrors but if I had to wake up looking like Jason Chaffetz I would never look at another mirror ever again.

          • SweetDeeKat

            “Blargh-sharting words” is now my new favorite phrase.

          • Ill-Advised

            I just formed a band!

      • Rags

        Clinton was impeached for lying about the consensual affair, not the affair.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum
    • P’jama Pahnts

      Are there people still denying that these fuckers are state-run media?

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Seems reasonable. I mean, we all remember how quickly and efficiently the Republicans conducted their investigations of Benghazi and Hillary’s emails, right? And the way they apologized for wasting all that time and money when they could find no evidence of wrongdoing?

      • mardam422

        Oh, and Whitewater. Don’t forget Whitewater.

        • Rags

          and D.B. Cooper!

          • schmannity

            Where’s that Lindbergh kid?

          • Rags

            and the Flying Dutchman!

          • Invisible Bunyip

            Prester John?

        • StlSaxist

          #freeBarabbas

      • kittygrrl

        The Benghazi investigation lasted four years! FOUR YEARS! And this douchebag wants to end the investigation. Hello ANONYMOUS-if you’re listening, I’m sure you can find all of this dickweed’s emails. I think you will probably be rewarded mightily by our press.

        • miss_grundy

          Instead of hacking HBO, these people should be hacking everyone at Faux News so we can find out what they are emailing to each other. It’s probably something prurient since that place is Sexual-Harrassment_R-Us.

        • Ill-Advised

          Somebody’s press, anyway.

    • Iron Monkey

      Well if noted legal scholar Brian Killmeade thinks six months is enough that should be good for everyone.

    • StlSaxist

      #45 & Co. can’t fire Schneiderman.
      Ain’t this fun?

    • Permit-holder Ron

      ‘Samatter, boys, afraid you’ll wind up on the witness stand too?

      • Pisto75666

        Be a shame if something like that were to happen /s

    • SeeTrain65

      Right, Kilmeade? And six months was also plenty of time to figure out that all the Hillary did Benghazi shit was plenty, too, but somehow you’ve extended that out to five years.

  • Bright Bart
  • UncleTravelingMatt

    This is a beautiful article. Evan should write all the law school texts.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I’m telling you, he and the team need to write the book, the literal book, about this whole thing.

  • Justin Zimmerman

    Is Trump bleeding out of his where ever yet?

    • mardam422

      Soon enough, bro…soon enough.

      • Ill-Advised

        King Richard II LIBELZ!!!!1!!1!1

        Or Queen Isabella. Take your pick.

  • fawkedifiknow

    I cut my eye teeth on the Watergate scandals (I was in law school at the time), and this shit is way better than that (relatively speaking) kerfuffle, let me tell you!

    • Wolf Tracker

      Much deeper and could take down a lot of wealthy and powerful people along with Trump and his empire.

      • miss_grundy

        Wouldn’t that be delicious? Oooo, I need more popcorn!

    • Erala Contratista

      Agree…the burglars were Moran’s, but this entire administration is approaching warp speed incompetence paired with a saucy, impertinent cluelessness. With a salted caramel exhibitionist for pudding.

  • unionthuggery

    I’ma pop some popcorn. Then I’m gonna watch that tiny-handed, limp-dick, Dipshit Trundlefuck lose at hungry hungry hippos.

  • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

    Fuck manafort. Fuck trump. Fuck them both up the ass with a garden weasel but not necessarily in that order.

  • mardam422

    “…which is just a hilarious joke and we award them three Wonkette whore diamonds for it.”
    Three hungry hungry whore diamonds?

  • CountryClubJihadi

    The fireworks finale better be a doozy. I can’t take it much longer.

    • Old town Urbandale

      They’re priming a bunch of Texas chemical plants for it.

  • Sean Jungian

    When I find myself in times of trouble
    My Wonkette, she talks to me
    Speaking words of wisdom
    “Manafort is about to take it up the ASS!”

    • Catchy.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        And it’s a good beat…for dancing.

    • Ill-Advised

      Let it be.

  • Jgb979

    The mere fact that he’s clearly pursuing every possible method to make this stick means there’s so much more to the story yet to drop.

  • Wolf Tracker

    Trump’s Russian mafia buddy Sater is looking to make a deal and threatening to expose all of Trump’s dealings in an expose he says will rock the world.

    Can’t wait!

    • Permit-holder Ron

      ‘Rock the world’? It’s not like we don’t have a pretty good idea of what Two Scoops was doing, we just want confirmation.

      • Kooolest G

        what if there’s more? what if we have a pretty good idea of some of the stuff he was doing but there’s something else Sater knows that will actually rock our world. the fact that we already assume the pee hooker stuff is true means there’s something else far more shocking. I shudder to think

        • Cat Cafe of the Subpoenas

          I’ve been saying this for months. The pee hooker has been out in the public discourse with zero repercussions from his base or the GOP, so obviously there’s something far more shocking. We should start a Wonkette pool. Squares would include:
          1. Criminal money laundering
          2. Russian mafia money laundering
          3. Accessory to Russian mafia murder
          4. Child sex trafficking
          5. Micropeen reveal
          6. Sex with Russian mafia money launderers.

          • Ill-Advised

            To be sure, the actual tape isn’t out…Is it?

          • Cat Cafe of the Subpoenas

            YECHHH no, but the whole idea of it has been all out in the discourse for months and doesn’t seem to mean enough to affect him (like the Billy Bush tape).

  • weejee
    • mahogma

      Nice.

    • SeeTrain65

      It’s the “liberally” that makes the joke.

  • Paperless Tiger

    States’ rights, Baby!

  • pstockk

    So I Googled and found this:
    Diagnosis and treatment of polonium poisoning
    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19492929
    Being caring liberals we should probably forward to various parties with a risk profile.

  • Manhattan123

    No money launderer, no money launderer. You’re the money launderer.

  • folderol

    With Manafort gone, I guess now it is only I that will launder all your russian monies for a steep discount! I will see that it is all converted to untraceable cheeseburgers at local fine dining establishments!

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    There is a certain amount of … what to call it … “glee” ? Let’s go with that. This is across the political spectrum …
    John Schindler:
    twitter.com/20committee/status/903232658272083970

    Rick Wilson:
    twitter.com/TheRickWilson/status/903212506893692928

    (extra note:)
    twitter.com/TheRickWilson/status/903253120712658945

    TPM (of course):
    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/mueller-new-york-ag-manafort-probe

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/lobbyist-trump-tower-meeting-trump-jr-spoke-mueller-grand-jury

  • JD Mulvey

    Who was it who made the Hungry Hungry Hippos joke? That is seriously classic.

  • goonemeritus

    I like the cut of this Schneiderman fellows Jib!

    • TimResistit

      He’s got a very smart jib.

  • sincarne

    HEY! I MADE A HUNGRY HIPPOS JOKE A YEAR AGO. MUST CREDIT ME.
    https://twitter.com/awhite/status/781134691554381824

    • little miss high and mighty

      you stole it, too.
      besides, you just try playing it and actualy trying to win !

      • sincarne

        I’m willing to concede I may have heard it somewhere, but I can’t honestly remember where. Do you know where I could have heard it?

        • little miss high and mighty

          Prolly collective consciousness crowd sourcing
          Once you play Hungry, Hungry Hippos once you realize the game needs some spice.
          3-D (verb) any game- amps up the challenge.
          3-d checkers was the origional joke- spills over to any game or domestic task.
          We hope the metaphrase does not stick.

  • Khavrinen

    “GUESS WHAT? Trump can’t pardon state crimes!”

    Has anyone told Trump that?

    Not that he’ll listen, of course.

    • Boscoe

      SHHH …nobody tell him! snicker!

    • miss_grundy

      Perhaps one of his lawyers mentioned it but he thinks he can do anything because he’s president. Just wait until he finds out that he can’t.

  • Poly_Ester

    I think trumph is playing tic-tac-toe on a 2X2 matrix while always insisting that he goes first because its his game.

    • Boscoe

      lol Mueller is playing 3-dimensional chess while Trump plays connect-the-dots on the pattern on the table of his highchair.

    • Cat Cafe of the Subpoenas

      And he totally won because in HIS rules X-O-X IS A TOTAL WIN

  • TundraGrifter

    About a week ago – how time flies! – perhaps just a few days – who knows? – somebody here asked what could be done if President Trump’s pardon of Sheriff Joe was a signal to his cronies that he’d pardon them if the Mueller investigation dragged them in.

    I suggested the AG of NY could pursue a state case that would be exempt from tampering by the President.

    Apparently Mr. Mueller is a close reader of Wonkette…

    • Oblios_Cap

      I am not!

  • Daniel Hooper

    So, I think Evan just accused Trump of being a ball-gobbler.,,
    … he said Trump was playing 3D Hungry Hungry Hippos. You gobble balls in that.

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      I think the accusation was made on Morning Joe and they should know.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      You eat whatever you can putin.

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    Will they be able to do this justice with one movie or will it require a miniseries? I’m envisioning a Netflix-Hulu bidding war.

    • SisterArtemis

      One can do it from Trump’s perspective, the other can do it from Mueller’s. I’d watch both.

  • Hardly Ideal

    Y’know, I see lots of people saying some variant of “pass the popcorn” over stuff like this. Like, “Oh-ho! Scaramucci got fired faster than a housefly’s adult lifespan? What a delightful farce! Pass the popcorn!”

    I don’t think I ever get that feeling. It feels more like I’m the
    Evangelion support crew and I’m watching Unit 01 devouring an angel
    live. “I can’t believe this horror is actually happening and I’m five seconds away from throwing up.”

    • Boscoe

      Dammit, now I’ve got to make myself watch Evangelion. So much great anime that I haven’t gotten around to yet…

      • Hardly Ideal

        Word. Maybe not the first one to deconstruct the mecha genre, but definitely one of the most memorable. I still need to watch all the Rebuild movies.

    • TimResistit

      I could eat popcorn or rat poison. I chose life .

    • miss_grundy

      Perhaps people are into the “pass the popcorn” phase because we have overdosed on the horror and embarrassment this asshat has caused this country and we have had enough of his idiot followers thinking they are winners. At this point, whether it is Mueller or Schneiderman who brings him down, I just don’t care. I want him to pay for the decades of embarrassment that he has caused my home town of New York and its inhabitants. I want him to pay for every sleazy deal, for every stupid action and for every stupid word. I want his grifter empire brought down and I want it set on fire. I want him to lose his liberty by spending the rest of his life in a cell, wearing an orange jumper, and realizing that he has no money left, that his name has been taken off all of his buildings and that his name is mud. So, I would rather have the popcorn and laugh like a loon at the rubes who fell for his bullshit.

      • Smibo

        I see both points, but to take the “movie night” analogy a step further, I’d rather skip the popcorn and just hit fast forward to the climax, then read all the credits.

  • Boscoe

    I have to imagine this is a lot of fun for Mueller. It’s GOT to be entertaining as hell to slowly, meticulously build a box around trump that he cannot pardon his way out of…

    • Jukesgrrl

      Yes, this is like watching a great artist paint a masterpiece. This will be Mueller’s finest achievement.

  • Daniel

    Not to be that guy, but a lot of chess is three dimensional. As is hungry hungry hippos.

    • Boscoe

      If you were REALLY going to be that guy, you’d be pointing out that both games function only on the x and z axis… :P

      • Smibo

        Also, too: that guy would have to ask who are you kidding, Morning Joe kids? Hungry Hungry Hippos is WAY too cerebral for Donald Trump.

    • SisterArtemis

      Who, as a little 1960s kid, didn’t wish Candy Land was three dimensional. Then they gave us MouseTrap!
      http://www.dialbforblog.com/archives/359/mousetrap.gif

      • Smibo

        That game was the source of my lifelong fascination with all Rube Goldberg-like devices, the more complex and ridiculous the better.

        • Grumpy Twat

          I once went behind the scenes in a museum where two young women were trying to set up a Mousetrap board (because it’s a fucking museum piece, these days).

          They couldn’t figure out what they were doing wrong because the ball kept falling off, halfway round. I had to reassure them they were doing it fine – the ball ALWAYS fell off halfway round!

          From the looks I got, I don’t think they believed me.

  • TimResistit
    • The Librarian

      My new “favorite” word: Pardonpalooza.

  • Isn’t this fun? As the kids on “Morning Joe” noted Thursday morning, Mueller is playing three-dimensional chess here, whereas Donald Trump is playing “three-dimensional Hungry Hungry Hippos,” which is just a hilarious joke and we award them three Wonkette whore diamonds for it.

    Well, Trump WAS going to play that until he realized he lost all his marbles.

    • javadavis

      His courtiers have realized he lost all his marble. Trump is still telling them all that he has the best marbles, really terrific.

    • little miss high and mighty

      joe stole the joke. besides, 3-hungry hippos2 would be almost as hard as 3-chess since the problem is how not to ass-face yourself with own goals and shite leads as in switch-snooker or reverse checkers. Hippos in 3-D would be tough to master indeed.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    I look forward to yelling, “Jenga!”

  • Given Trump’s stance on health care, he certainly doesn’t want anyone to play “Operation”

  • whitroth

    YESSS!!! I saw this this morning, and Trump is *toast*. He’ll end in either jail, or a foreign country with no extradition treaty.

    Because a) he was money laundering (why else fire Preet Bharara?), and b) his old, close, and business buddy Sater has implied he’s been turned, once again becoming an FBI informant. And he was saying that he would be all *over* the news… in a couple of weeks. And that was earlier this week.

    Pardon me, folks, but I need to ask whether it’s actually legal to pardon yourself…

    • miss_grundy

      That was a question that Nixon had with his lawyers. His lawyers told him that he could but Nixon felt it would be “dishonorable” for him to pardon himself so he had Gerald Ford do it. With Tangerini, he would probably pardon himself but that would just make Mueller pass the folder to Schneiderman and let him proceed. And if Schneiderman went all RICO on his butt, he could wind up sending him to jail and having him forfeit his assets. Then the kids and the wife might have to get real jobs.

      • ocbjack

        We can only dream……

      • Jukesgrrl

        I’d let the whole family keep some of their money if they’d PROMISE to go away forever. If they work we will have to look at them because you know that can’t do anything outside the public eye.

    • Sean Jungian

      I would never expect Drumpfie to go to a foreign country, he obviously HATES to travel.

      Fingers crossed for prison time…

    • Toledo Window Box

      Can’t we just shoot him into space? Expensive, but so worth it.

    • Grumpy Twat

      Pardoning yourself implies an admission of guilt, though. Is that likely?

      Maybe Trump should have a chat with Berlusconi. He seems to have put a lot of effort into passing laws making himself immune to prosecution. It didn’t work, but he isn’t behind bars.

  • gratuitous

    Money laundering and financial crimes don’t have a T in them, so you can spell them without M-A-N-A-F-O-R-T. Paul wins again forever! Not guilty! Fake news! Tap-tap, no tapbacks.

    • redarmyzombie

      Now treason, on the other hand…

      • javadavis

        So we’re going with ‘you can’t spell “treasonous money laundering and financial crimes without M-A-N-A-F-O-R-T” ‘ ? Yeah, I’ll go along with that.

  • bookish

    http://nbcnews.to/2wlo9Zb

    WASHINGTON — Paul Manafort’s notes from a controversial Trump Tower meeting with Russians during the 2016 presidential campaign included the word “donations,” near a reference to the Republican National Committee, two sources briefed on the evidence told NBC News.

    The references, which have not been previously disclosed, elevated the significance of the June 2016 meeting for congressional investigators, who are focused on determining whether it included any discussion of donations from Russian sources to either the Trump campaign or the Republican Party.

  • BearDeLaOursistance

    Invest in popcorn futures NAO.

  • BearDeLaOursistance

    The pieces are stacking higher, and the music is getting faster…

    • God Emperor Emeritus

      Yakety Sax, presumably?

  • orygone

    I heard trump never even heard of this guy

    • Toledo Window Box

      He was only in the campaign like 5 minutes, in a very minor role…

  • Schneiderman, Schneiderman.
    Does whatever an AG can.
    Spins a web
    Any size
    Catches Trumps
    Just like flies…..

    • SKruetheratbassedarDs

      RI – CO!
      There goes a Schneiderman . . . (everybody sing!)

    • Last Hussar

      Well done. Have an OBE.

  • SeeTrain65

    That Hungry Hungry Hippos joke sounds very familiar … OH, I SEE! It’s not just comedians who steal jokes … ; ) (Just let me have this. I get so little already. ; ) )

    http://disq.us/p/1lnc54f

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/48ba29411776530a2d05cfd3bce755426542861d10768d80f1d1a6b534c13d34.jpg

    • Toledo Window Box

      Chutes and Ladders

  • Financial crimes? Money laundering? You can’t (allegedly!) spell those things without M-A-N-A-F-O-R-T!

    ACTUALLY, you don’t really need the T for those things. Sorry to be picky, but you can’t spell “Wonkette” without P-E-D-A-N-T-I-C (except for the P, D, A, I, and allegedly C).

    • SeeTrain65

      I find I can’t spell “Pedicure Antiseptic” without P-E-D-A-N-T-I-C.

      (Full Disclosure: I tend to cut my toenails to the nub. Every year, whether I need to or not.)

  • Toledo Window Box

    The big question now is, who does Manafort fear more?

    Mueller?

    Trump?

    Putin??

    • ExecutorElassus

      Don’t forget the Ukrainian courts.

      • cairocat

        Ukraine? Courts? Retribution tends to be harsher and more personal over there. And last longer: they measure vengeance in centuries and generations. “Blood money” is literal and doesn’t stop with one payment.

  • Last Hussar

    The problem is, of course, as son as Trump goes in comes Pence et al, who know how to kick the poor’s properly.

  • BillEGoatSmirk

    As I’ve said before, it is my understanding that the New York AG and the Manhattan DA both have simmering open investigations against Manafort (at a minimum) over his (money laundered) real estate deals that were clearly Russian-funded. (including his apartment in Trump Tower).
    And the Manhattan DAs office hasn’t forgotten about Felix Sater, Bayrock, and Trump SoHo.
    So I’m thrilled to see confirmation that Mueller is sharing his info and vice versa. Fuck Donnie. No pardon. No pardons. Etc…

  • pixeloid

    When I saw “Schneiderman”, it reminded me of “Spiderman” and I started humming that song. Am I the only one?

    • Uncle Igor

      Schneiderman, Schneiderman,
      Crawling up all those shysters’ cans,
      Builds a case, any size
      Catches crooks just like flies
      Look out–Here comes the SchneiderMAAAAAN!

      (Apologies to rtpoeman below…great minds, etc…)

      • pixeloid

        Exactly!

  • Stimpakistan

    So what does this have to do with Russia interfering with the election?

    That’s the question that remains unanswered.

    • Jay B.

      It’s difficult to imagine how Trump’s campaign chair, his future nominee for National Security advisor, his current Attorney General, his Secretary of State, his White House counsel, his Commerce Secretsry his State Son-in-Law and his Official Son, not to mention the Pig in Chief — all of whom have been caught lying, repeatedly, about their ties wirh russia could have anything to do with Russia money laundering or connecting Russia to the campaign that featured all those people who found their dicks, somehow, continually sucked by these impossibly unknown Russian dicksuckers! How indeed can anyone possibly even imagine how those dick dots are connected?

      • Stimpakistan

        Wow, paranoid much? Get some help.

  • Weird Fishes

    There those of us who remember Tricky Dick and his Elbaesque compound in San Clemente can’t help but draw the parallel between San Clemente and Maximum Cheeto’s Bedminster bunker. I wish him a long (and to the extent he is capable) reflective exile there before the end of this troubled decade.

Previous articleTexas? What About Taxes? Wonkagenda For Thurs., Aug. 31, 2017
Next articleBetsy DeVos Couldn’t Hire Trump University Fraud Chief, Went With Next Best Thing