SHARE

Another day, another HOLY SHIT STOP IT YOU’RE KILLING US presser from President Twitterfingers. Two actually, since he graced the people with his presence in Corpus Christi and Austin. Sure, Texas has a lot to deal with this week. But those Trump hats aren’t gonna flog themselves!

Donnie and Melon’s Excellent Adventure started in Corpus Christi, where he opened the festivities by ritually murdering irony. Here’s a man named Donald marveling that a storm with a dumb name like Harvey could actually inflict real damage.

 

Haw Haw. See, it’s funny because Trump is the storm, and America is the wreckage.

Okay. Maybe not so funny.

Here’s a video of a bunch of arrogant dickbags huddled in a room thanking each other for being so good at disaster relief. The water was still rising 220 miles up the coast in Houston, but it was warm and dry for the Presidential Circle Jerk in Corpus Christi! Also, too, why is The Narcissist in Chief’s placecard in gazillion-point font?

I also want to thank my people. Ben Carson, as you know, is here from HUD. And Linda McMahon from Small Business is … I say, this is not small business, Linda, this is big business when you add it all up. You’re going to be giving away many, many millions of dollars to help people out.

And here’s the White House transcript of Trump’s on-camera pow wow with all the bigwigs. See if you can spot the difference.

I want to thank my staff, my Cabinet. We have quite a few of our Cabinet here. You know Ben Carson, obviously, from HUD, and Tom Price and Linda McMahon — Small Business. Small business, which is now big business, because when you add them all up you’re going to be helping a lot of the people in Texas and doing a fantastic job. Thank you very much, Linda.

Gee, did someone at the White House notice that describing Linda McMahon as the great white mother giving away millions in aid like goddamn Eva Peron was not a good look? Or did they decide not to highlight the fact that regular Americans are crossing state lines with their fishing boats to rescue their fellow citizens stranded on roofs, and the Six Billion Dollar Cabinet is too busy thanking each other to write any personal checks? Or was it that those “many, many millions of dollars to help people out” has to come from tax revenue, and Republicans in Congress are focused right now on a massive tax cut for the super-rich?

Let’s go with AOTK. Fuckers.

See? Helpers. They really are the majority!

Hey, remember that time after Hurricane Katrina when Republican Congressman Mike Pence balked at allocating funds for clean up?

We simply can’t allow a catastrophe of nature to become a catastrophe of debt for our children and grandchildren.

Remember when the majority of Republicans in the House and Senate voted against funding the relief for Hurricane Sandy? Good thing we can count on them to bail out Houston this time!

BUT WE DIGRESS.

After Trump’s very important meeting to personally save Texas, the president stepped outside where a few hundred screaming fans gathered to give Trump’s ego the morning fluffer.

Thank you everyone! What a crowd! What a turnout!

Proving once again that life under Trump has converged with The Onion. Only yesterday Wonkette’s own Evan Hurst gave Glenn Thrush THE BUSINESS for awarding Trump a Gentleman’s C in Prezzynitting. All he had to do was show a little empathy and not brag about crowd size.

Thrush notes, of course, that White House staffers are worried Trump will go off script and try to grab the remnants of Harvey by the pussy, or commence to bragging that more people showed up for his hurricane visit than ever showed up for Obama’s hurricane visits.

Looks like you boys spoke too soon!

 

Trump then assured his adoring fans that,

We love you. You’re special. And we’re here to take care. It’s going well. I want to thank you for coming out. We’re going to get you back and operating immediately.

And Corpus Christi probably will be back “operating immediately,” since it didn’t take a direct hit from the hurricane. Which is why it was safe for That Orange Idiot and his tacky wife to go there!

 

Did he offer condolences to the families of the thirty people (we know of) who’ve died in the storm? NO. Did he express sympathy for the tens of thousands displaced and in shelters. NOPE. Did he encourage Americans to donate to support their fellow citizens? BITCH, PLEASE.

He congratulated FEMA and Texas Governor Greg Abbott, waved the Texas flag, and hauled his fat ass back onto the plane for another photo op in Austin at the Emergency Operations Center.

If anyone wants to compare it to the transcript, have at it. Right now we are TOO MAD.

Because Trumpworld descended on Texas in the midst of a humanitarian disaster for an orgy of self-congratulation. They’re just salivating to take credit for swooping in and fixing it with their “big brain” and “all the best words.” Like they’re the CEO Justice League!

It’s a real team, and we want to do it better than ever before. We want to be looked at in five years, in ten years from now as this is the way to do it.

Meanwhile, they’re cooking the planet which supercharged storms like Harvey, cutting funds for FEMA, and canceling flood standards for infrastructure. All so that big business can make more money and pay less in taxes.

We’re a long way from knowing whether FEMA did a heckuva job in Texas. But this is the richest country in the world, and we shouldn’t have to rely on teenagers in a goddamn fishing boat to rescue us!

AND WE ALL NEED TO PAY OUR FAIR FUCKING SHARE IN TAXES TO FUND A GOVERNMENT THAT CAN PROVIDE DISASTER RELIEF FOR ITS OWN CITIZENS.

 

These kids deserve a hell of a lot more congratulations than Donald Trump and Linda McMahon! Yes, we are mad this morning. And the next person who starts talking shit about “kids today” is gonna get it! Do not fucking try us!

[Transcript via whitehouse.gov / CNN / The Epoch Times]


This ragegasm is brought to you by wonderful readers like yourself! Please click to support us!

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • MynameisBlarney

    Anyone STILL supporting him is just too goddamned stupid to insult.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • goonemeritus

    Sparing Harvey’s victims the unnecessary additional horror of meeting him seems like the right move.

  • Blackest Noobs

    Our own French-Style Revolution is soon to follow….very soon.

    https://www.ted.com/talks/nick_hanauer_beware_fellow_plutocrats_the_pitchforks_are_coming

    get your pitchforks sharpened!

  • David Chaillou

    Of course he didn’t meet with any victims. They might carry germs.

    • TJ Barke

      Or worse; criticism.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Meanwhilst, In Oakland.

    http://sk.uploads.im/t/45yto.png

    • Triple Feature?

    • Ilgattomorte

      Great movie! Lousy cast.

      • folderol

        Special Guest Non-Appearance by Joel Osteen

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Hey, he’d appear if you ask him.

          • Ill-Advised

            He’d appear if you paid him.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      The best goddam movie Ed Wood ever made.

    • Bright Bart

      starring that guy from that show.

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    irate, annoyed, cross, vexed, irritated, exasperated, indignant, aggrieved, irked, piqued, displeased, provoked, galled, resentful

    furious, enraged, infuriated, in a temper, incensed, raging, incandescent, wrathful, fuming, ranting, raving, seething, frenzied, in a frenzy, beside oneself, outraged, in high dudgeon

    irascible, bad-tempered, hot-tempered, choleric, splenetic, dyspeptic, tetchy, testy, crabby, waspish

    –Cousin Itt

  • Painter of Goats

    Our fucking president is so damn tone deaf I wonder if he could even distinguish between an elevator ding and a loud fart.

    • Mavenmaven

      Fortunately for him, since that’s probably an issue, and why Melania always has that face.

      • Clark_Nova

        Resting vampire face.

  • Ilgattomorte

    I am reminded of the immortal words of JFK.
    “Ask not what your country can do for you … no seriously … don’t ask. But boy, what a great crowd we have here today, huh folks?”

    • MynameisBlarney

      “I just flew in from DC and BOY, ARE MY ARMS TIRED!”

      • coozledad

        I am nota crook Mike Pence.

  • ManchuCandidate

    A Donald Trump response to a disaster area is like a screen door on Das Boot .. absolutely fucking useless.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      The screen door keeps the fish out.

  • Michael Smith

    Some rich people are okay at dealing with humanitarian disasters. I mean, one of the things you really need when you’re trying to fix a crisis like this is money and resources, which they have plenty of. So you’d think rich people would be the obvious choice! But we know from history that it doesn’t really work out that way.

    Rich people may have a lot of resources, but they are often majorly deficient in the empathy department. Others have the opposite problem. Plenty of empathy, not many resources to put work in the service of that empathy. But it doesn’t stop them – look at the Cajun navy, and all of the other great things we’ve seen.

    Some rich people though, despite having a greater level of wealth than most people, tend to guard that wealth with a protectiveness that non-rich people might consider verging on the sociopathic paranoid.

  • Trump was very popular with the Nearly Blind people.
    https://i.imgflip.com/1uzgfj.jpg

    • Ill-Advised

      Not with those who have wonked their boxes, he wasn’t!

  • GoutMachine
    • MrTusks

      And Germany just reported a record surplus.

      • Lilliansmercurio

        Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family!!!
        On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four
        weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        >>>http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash300TopSky/GetPay$97/Hour…..

        • MrTusks

          Oh shit, is that how Germany did it??

    • Creepoman

      But Germans still put truck nutz on their Audi’s, right?

      • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

        That’s a given.

    • BigCSouthside

      Wish we would learn what real fucking patriotism is.

      • Maggielle

        It won’t happen until we truly, honestly face our history: the genocide of the indigenous population (initially by pathogens outside anyone’s control, later by intentional annihilation and marginalization of the survivors), and the fact that the nation thrived because it was based on enslaving humans and working them and their born-into-slavery children mercilessly for hundreds of years.

        None of us currently living did those exact things, but we all live with aftermath – both in misery and in the nation’s success. We have to look at our monster, understand it, accept it, tell and teach the truth, work through its aftermath, never forget it, and make things better for everyone. Instead we slap a flag on it and pretend that we have always been wonderful, and that a few regrettable “incidents” were anomalies. It’s not working and it never will. We have so much, but we lie and lie and lie.

        I know, tl;dr. But the lies are corrosive, and they’re killing us.

  • Randy Riddle

    “Let them wear stilettos.”

  • memzilla Ω
    • GoutMachine

      God I can’t even stand to look at that dickweed. Most. Punchable. Face. Ever.

    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      Conservatism – I CARE ABOUT ME ME ME, OMMYGOSH I’M DROWNING HELP HELP

      • folderol

        God only punishes the wicked, so I can hardly wait to here what Pat Robertson has to say about this one.

        • The people who believe God only punishes the wicked seriously need to read Job. There’s a whole book in the Bible about how wrong that is, and God explicitly tells them to fuck right off.

        • CripesAmighty

          Funny, last time we were well into all manner of ‘wages of sin’ fire and brimstone, by now.

        • Houston has a lesbian mayor, so I think it’s easy to guess.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          He was aiming for Joel Osteen but missed?

        • Querolous

          These morans are convinced that this is retribution for not hating on “those people” enough.

      • Only my problems are caused by events outside my control, so only I deserve help.

    • TJ Barke

      Ignorant c*nts.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      In this case “Jack” was right: “Shana, they bought their tickets. They knew what they were getting into. I say, let ’em crash.”

    • coozledad

      Socialism sucks. Take it from these two guys who get ALL THE PUSSY.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Did he offer condolences to the families of the thirty people (we know of) who’ve died in the storm? NO. Did he express sympathy for the tens of thousands displaced and in shelters. NOPE. Did he encourage Americans to donate to support their fellow citizens? BITCH, PLEASE.

    His Fraudulency has two settings: ego fluffing and self-righteous anger. Anything that doesn’t fit either of these states is ignored.

    • David Chaillou

      Public settings you mean. In private he also has “singing in the pee-rain”.

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        Nope. The Steele Dossier alleged that he hired the goes to pee, not on him, but on a bed that Obama slept in. So we’re back to ego and anger.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    BUY MY HATS!

    Sorry about the water… That storm was yooge! Much bigger than Obama’s storm.

    Did I mention that I have hats for sale?

  • persistently_resistant_gayby

    God, there has to be a fucking floor as to how far low can we go with this twatwaffle.

    • GoutMachine

      You’d think, but it’s turtles all the way down.

      • TJ Barke

        Turtle libel!

      • Ill-Advised

        And they’re sea turtles. Evolving gills even as we speak.

    • bbayliss

      We’re already lower than the basement at Comet Pizza.

      • persistently_resistant_gayby

        Practically on a never-ending free fall.

        • With a guy clinging to our backs whispering in our ear…

          7000 feet.

          6000 feet.

          5000 feet.

        • bbayliss

          Oh it’ll end.
          The question at this point is how much damage will be done in the interim.

    • That floor is lower than an unzoned Houston neighborhood- too soon?

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Yet, here we are.

    • Maggielle

      From beneath you, it devours.

  • FEMA seems to be working for now. But yeah, this is government run as a business. The “lesser” people carrying the brunt of the load, while the CEO sits out, then swoops in, says everything is great, takes all the credit for it, and then swoops out to leave the rest of the actual work to the people who know how to do the job.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Remember also that this is Obamas FEMA. The Trumpees haven’t had a shot at dismantling it yet.

      • The you’re fired is all part of the chutdown deal going through congress now.

    • cmd resistor

      No thanks to Trump. He had to appoint someone who had experience, thanks to the Post-Katrina Emergency Management Reform Act (2006). ‘(c) ADMINISTRATOR.— ‘‘(1) IN GENERAL.—The Administrator shall be appointed by the President, by and with the advice and consent of the Senate. ‘‘(2) QUALIFICATIONS.—The Administrator shall be appointed from among individuals who have— ‘‘(A) a demonstrated ability in and knowledge of emergency management and homeland security; and ‘‘(B) not less than 5 years of executive leadership and management experience in the public or private sector.

    • Until Friday when it all shuts down. FEMA is decidedly non-essential according to most cons.

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    I trust the DNC is taking notes and in 2018 will name names.

    “When regions face serious disasters causing extensive damage, the federal government has an obligation to assist with assets to address the emergency,” Cruz spokeswoman Catherine Frazier said. “Sen. Cruz strongly supports this role of government, but emergency bills should not be used for non-emergency spending and that unfortunately is what made up nearly 70 percent” of the Sandy relief bill.

    The Congressional Budget Office found that the $51 billion Sandy relief package was distributed relatively slowly, but virtually all of the funding was related to the storm or to prevent future disasters.

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/gop-sandy-resentment-lingers-amid-harvey

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I’m seriously starting to wonder if the only way we can get the attention of these idjits and get through to them is to finally treat them the way they want to treat everyone else and let them fall on their faces and suffer without bailing them out. Do they really need such an abject lesson in personal pain and suffering before it gets through their thick skulls that we’re all supposed to help each other in times of need without being assholes about it?

      Trouble is, I don’t want to become that sort of person. I don’t want to let them turn me into them. I’m beginning to think the real lesson here is that you can get away with being a shitty person, as long as you live amongst people who aren’t shitty and will rescue you when you need it, no matter how shitty you were to them at every opportunity.

      • Heard immunity to stupidity.

      • The real problem is the people who vote these shitbags into office. I made donations to the San Antonio and Central Texas food banks, and I made sure to mention in the comments that I was a New Yorker.

        Problem is, I doubt food bank volunteers vote for Ted Cruz.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          The real problem is the people who vote these shitbags into office

          That’s exactly who I’m talking about.

      • Joe Beese

        Do they really need such an abject lesson in personal pain and suffering before it gets through their thick skulls that we’re all supposed to help each other in times of need without being assholes about it?

        You answered your own question there.

      • NastyBossetti

        Do they really need such an abject lesson in personal pain and suffering before it gets through their thick skulls that we’re all supposed to help each other in times of need without being assholes about it?

        The problem is that they believe that THEY deserve help when they need it but that no one else does. And for many of them, no amount of their own personal suffering, and no amount of help from anyone else to relieve them of it, will change their minds.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      That’s pretty bunny.

      • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

        I got a rise out of it.

        • Joe Beese

          Watch out for yeast infection.

          • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

            That’s the yeast of my problems.

          • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

            D’ough!

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Biscuits got back

  • Scooby

    The real delemia will be to decide if they are giving funding to destroyed Mexican restaurants.

    • cmd resistor

      What I would love to see is a convoy of Taco Trucks coming up from Mexico to help out.

  • cmd resistor

    I was just remembering when W came to Florida after our 2004 hurricane. Jeb! was governor. They at least showed up at a food/water distribution center and helped out and shook hands with people and stuff. I don’t remember any flag waving or crowd size comments. Oh, I see he threw in a thing about his heart going out to TX this morning on the Twitter. Must have seen some of the criticism for being such a jerk.

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    Trying to imaging what the response would have been if Obama had behaved like this bunglecunt- with the oversized hats and the “buy my merchandise”. Republicans would’ve been howling “Gangster!”

    • I wonder what the sudden desire to add “pure white” hats to his merchandising strategy entails. Signs of surrender (waving the white flag), or signs of his “closet racism” and a shout out to his white brothers in arms?

      • Ghenghis McCann

        He’s sold all the red hats he possibly can. Now his supporters will go out and buy white hats so they won’t be out of fashion.

        • Old town Urbandale

          Expect the limited edition blue hats, just in time for Christmas.

  • memzilla Ω
    • Christopher Story

      And he’s oblivious to the irony

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Always.

  • persistently_resistant_gayby
  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Meanwhile, Port Arthur and Beaumont are getting hammered by Harvey’s return. Port Arthur’s getting the worst of it, where even their evacuation center is being flooded out.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Harvey is making third landfall in Louisiana

  • Bill D. Burger

    Melania: “You’re being so mean. They were my grubby Louboutins… the ones I wear for firing the gardener and kicking puppies.”

    • cmd resistor

      So her press person issued a statement about how mean it was to make all the comments on her clothes. Ok, I would never wear those stilettos. I couldn’t even stand up in them on a good day. I don’t care if she wears stupid high heels. I figured she’d change into something more appropriate on the plane. But geez, don’t they even try to not look out of touch?

      • Bill D. Burger

        Scary how people actually do notice. ~looking around~ __ My wife said, “Those aren’t Manolos, they’re Louboutins.” ….and I kept saying, “Whuuuuuuuut’?”

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Louboutins have red undersides,(they have a patent on it.) They are unmistakable in the fashion-fetish community.

      • NastyBossetti

        Seriously? Someone whose job it is to do PR or deal with the press should know that the best move in this situation is just to ignore all those comments.

        • cmd resistor

          I guess it gives them some “martyr” stuff so their supporters can say STOP being MEAN to MELANIA, you MEAN and PETTY LIBTARDS.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            They will NEVER run out of reasons to feel sorry for themselves

        • teele

          Their job could be much easier if they sat down with mrs. Donald and explained things to her, like how dressing like a call girl is fine for evening events, but she might want to tone it down for daytime events, and find designers who can give her realistic guidelines for appropriate wear in different situations. Hey, didn’t there used to be a reality tv show like that?

      • Joe Beese

        Our Wonkette put it best yesterday: “Not Even Pretending To Care”

      • Bebecca

        Her only job, and I’m not being snarky (ok maybe a little), is to look hot. Which actually she did in a leather jacket in Texas in August.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Remember all those times the Obamas issued statements regarding the horrendous comments made by Trump about Michelle? Yeah, me either.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Beanz&Berryz

    I got up this morning thinking I try to not dwell on Trump nonsense, and I was almost there, but 5$F’s righteous anger has now got my panties in a wad too. We really shouldn’t have to rely on 15 year old kids, as good as they are…

    • cmd resistor

      You know, Thousand Points of Light and all.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      If I wore panties, they, too, would be wadded.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Christopher Story

      Damn. She really is a walking plagiarism.

    • NastyBossetti

      Don’t we all?

      • Christopher Story

        The difference is, we’ll admit it.

    • Who wore it better?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Damn. She’s trolling Orange Julius. Plus, she voted for Hillary.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Soon on QVC! __ and at a yoooge’ discount.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DIbUi0oVoAAvU5H.jpg

    • Joe Beese

      Presidents wearing windbreakers to disaster zoners is like country music singers wearing cowboy hats on stage. The crowd demands it as a token of sincerity.

      • therblig

        but trumpy IS a prodigious windbreaker

    • La forza del resistino

      they look like a couple that just saw 4 taxis pass them by on 5th ave.

  • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

    O/T, did anyone see that the NYT is now selling ad space on the Op-Ed page to Erik Fucking Prince? I won’t link to it because fuck the NYTimes.

  • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

    OT/not OT: I visited with my father and stepmother (the latter has Alzheimers) the other day. My father and I were discussing world events (he’s sharp as a tack); she was having a particularly disjointed, mentally foggy day, and was unable to take most of it in.

    “This all feels like some weird dream that I hope to wake up from.” She said.

    “Believe me” I told her “You are not alone.”

  • Ricky Gay

    Donald and Melon toured the flood aboard the corpus of Christie? Did he pass? Have they no respect?!

    • WeaselPoo

      Christie is still undead, and no, they still don’t have any respect.

      • Ricky Gay

        Nevermind.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Texans are real Americans, while those people in the North East are, you know, fruity.

    • P’jama Pahnts

      Yeah I wasn’t able to pass the “Real American” exam when I moved to the south. It sucks.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I like to think of us as fruit-forward. With subtle tannins and a nice finish.

  • WeaselPoo

    Water damage is the worst. Very tough. Very tough.

    • stumpknocker

      actually its wet very wet

      • WeaselPoo

        Not many people know that. I discovered it.

        • Old town Urbandale

          Eureka!

    • Joe Beese

      He dealt with it in his apartment buildings and he knows it’s no joke.

      • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

        His gold-plated bathtub once overflowed.

        It was a nightmare, believe me.

        • jodyleek

          No one’s bathtub has ever overflowed so much. Many people are saying that. All the water. The best water. Sad!

        • therblig

          all those rubber ducks…lost. heartbreaking.

      • NastyBossetti

        It was very difficult for him, to have to listen to mean people complaining about the water damage and then (probably) ignore them. It was very unfair for them to complain to him in the first place, because he did not cause the water damage. Very tough, very tough.

      • Clark_Nova

        Actually, he refused to deal with it until he was sued.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      And the mold! The black mold! Who has such mold?….

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      A pipe burst in my basement a few years ago and flooded it. Dealing with the cleanup and the aftermath of all the ruined belongings was exhausting and depressing. I can’t even begin to wrap my brain around multiplying that times infinity let alone dealing with comforting small children on top of it. Also too, my life was never in danger. The woman who cussed out that reporter was exercising a degree of s of restraint that I would not have been able to muster.

  • Crystalclear12

    We are in pain and tired as a nation, so as a gift to us, Trump, could you take the labor day weekend off? Including twitter.
    Thanks.

  • coozledad

    If you look under that shitfuck’s hair, there’s a knot of electrodes running through a hole in his skull. The Russians have been itching to deploy one of these things since they attempted their first full head transplant back in the 30’s

    Ideally, it would have transformed Trump into a subtle manipulator. But they left the electronics to the folks who design Russian cars.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgDUwjyE3po

  • Joe Beese

    So tomorrow is predicted to be sunny (and hot) in Houston.

    I’m not sure a nice bright look at the place is going to be very encouraging just now.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Christopher Story

      I second the motion

    • Now that’s what “securing a future for white children” really looks like.

  • ariel_gee_398

    You know what I’m really fucking sick of? Republicans starving programs of the funds they need to function properly then screaming that the programs are broken and don’t work. Sabotaged is not the same as broken. http://money.cnn.com/2017/08/30/news/economy/flood-insurance-harvey/index.html?iid=hp-toplead-dom

    • WeaselPoo

      And their “good for me not for thee” ‘principles’.

    • Saint Stephen

      That’s so they can keep telling the voters that “government is bad.”

  • Michael Smith

    The contrast between the generosity of the charitable individuals and associations and the aloof opportunism of the chief executive of the government is troubling. Charity is great, but the assistance of the state is certainly needed in situations like this, and we have to make sure we don’t let people get away with claiming that the outpouring of private goodwill excuses government inaction.

    Recently I was reading about the Irish Potato Famine – from two perspectives. A pro-English historian of England, and a relatively objective European generalist.

    The English historian noted that there was a massive charitable mobilization in response to the crisis. The biggest collection of donations and enlistment of volunteers possibly in recorded history up to that point. Soup kitchens everywhere. Loads of money coming in. So the English historian’s conclusion was that, contrary to popular belief, the English were extremely compassionate and helpful during the famine, but that there was only so much anyone could do in the face of such an unprecedented catastrophe.

    The European generalist acknowledged the extraordinary charitable and volunteer efforts to help the famine’s victims. He also noted, like the English historian, that the charitable efforts never had a chance of being sufficient to deal with the massive crisis. Unlike the English historian, though, he pointed out that there certainly was something else the English could have done.

    They could have repealed the “corn laws,” if only temporarily. That would mean reducing or eliminating the tariffs on the importation of cereal crops. (Incidentally, the English historian mentioned this briefly and dismissed it as an unrealistic thing to ask of a slow-moving democratic parliament). The corn laws were imposed to protect domestic commercial growers of cereal crops by keeping the prices artificially inflated. Thus, cereal crops were so expensive that Poors like the Irish couldn’t afford them, and lived almost entirely on cheap potatoes. Until all of the potatoes started coming up blighted and inedible.

    And people recognized the “corn law” solution at the time. As soon as the crisis began to take shape, Irish politicians and humanity-minded English politicians screamed at Parliament to do something about these laws so that cereal crops would be affordable to the Irish until the potato issue was resolved. But the lobbyists for commercial farmers blocked it with all of their might. They weren’t going to lose profits behind this “famine” bullshit. So for a few seasons, while the numbers of Irish dead began to creep toward a million, cereal crops were being harvested, loaded onto ships in British ports and sold to other countries for profit.

    The commercial farmers, in arguing against repealing the corn laws, claimed that the massive charity effort should be sufficient to handle the crisis. To the extent that it wasn’t sufficient, the Irish have only themselves to blame. Why were you so dependent on a single crop in the first place? Ever heard of diversifying your portfolio? Its because the Irish are too lazy to get out there and find different ways to make money. They just want to sit on their ass, get drunk and eat potatoes all day.

    And look at all the kids they have! They get drunk, get horny, have way more kids than they can support and they wonder why they are hungry. Plus, you know the main reason they have all those kids is because they want free money. They send those kids out to work the fields for them, like slaves, so that they can sit around at home and get drunk. Then the kids see their parents doing that, and when they grow up, they follow the example. Its a vicious cycle. But don’t blame us for it – we are just hard working English commercial farmers. Its not our responsibility to give up our hard earned profits for people who are managing to starve in the middle of the biggest charitable movement in history.

    After a few years this bigoted, heartless and obviously self-serving line of reasoning was broken and the corn laws were repealed. But it was too late. At least a million people died. And, unlike in many parts of Europe where the potato famine hit, most of the deaths in Ireland are estimated to have been from actual, straight up starvation. Not just diseases associated with malnutrition. People wasted away while cereals were shipped away from Britain for sale.

    So its great that charity is helping, it really is. I couldn’t be prouder of those people doing their part in Texas, or of those people who did their part in Ireland 150 years ago. But private charity doesn’t have the power that the state does. That’s why its important for the people who run the state to take humanitarian crises seriously and prioritize them over making money for their buddies.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      (R)Amen.

    • NastyBossetti

      Charity is great, but the assistance of the state is certainly needed in situations like this, and we have to make sure we don’t let people get away with claiming that the outpouring of private goodwill excuses government inaction.

      This.
      I wish I could upfist this comment many thousands of times.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        I’m sure there’s some resistance to this idea in the Midwest, where, over the years, hundreds of small towns have been devastated by tornadoes, and, since no one seems to care, they rebuilt themselves, sometimes time and time again, no one knows why…

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Private charity, while well intentioned can also be mismanaged. Money from private charities was used to import corn from the US (our dried corn on the cob) that the Irish had no idea how to prepare. So it made them sicker.
      There was also the heartless attitude that the population of Ireland was just to dense to be supported by the land, and needed to be thinned out, one way or another. Horrible.

      • And had no end of unintended negative consequences in the third world.

    • Old town Urbandale

      Before the soup kitchens, public works were to be the salvation of the Irish people. Giving food directly to the poor would undercut the merchant, so the plan was to have the Irish work (insert comment about “starvation wages”) so they could buy food. It worked as well as you’d imagine. (Not at all.) The Irish History Podcast has been devoting 2017 to the Famine. Very interesting series. http://irishhistorypodcast.ie/

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      I blame Peru…if those Peruvians hadn’t been such weak, lazy takers, they wouldn’t have let the Spanish conquer them in the first place…

    • Ms.Moon

      How many descendants of the Irish who fled to America (Bill O’Reilly) are willing to do the same to poor people here. I do not know why we cannot learn from history without repeating the horrible mistakes that caused the deaths of so many.

    • Eileen Besse

      I’m second-generation Boston Irish Catholic from grands who survived that famine and later came over on the boat. Irish and Italians lived together in those Boston slums, despised by the Boston Brahmins, and produced amazing amounts of kids who went into the military for WWII. Afterwards, with college access now available, they learned how to become the cops and the lawyers and the POLITICIANS themselves. No small feat…. Myself, I’m one of 50 first cousins. When I got married most of my cousins were already married, so there went the first 100 seats at the reception! Our upbringing made us realize that we have to depend on each other and ourselves, ’cause WE are the ones who com through.

  • anon_the_great

    I’m happy Twitler waved a Texas state flag and not the Stars and Bars.

    I take my little wins where and when I find them.

  • La forza del resistino

    Donald disappointed he didn’t get to visit John Wayne’s grave site, who died valiently defending the Alamo against that Santa Anna messican.

    • Old town Urbandale

      He’ll probably ask for the special VIP tour of all the artifacts in the Alamo’s basement.

  • Crystalclear12

    Well, no presidential selfies in front of the flood waters. . . yet.

  • BehaveYrself

    15 year olds in a boat (towing another boat?!) full of rescued neighbors… Who’s crying, I’m not crying, are you crying? (Yeah, I’m really crying, this is too much. Fuck 45 and his tone-deaf no-hands-on braggery, and fuck his high-heeled wife, too.)

  • Crystalclear12

    Marie Antoinette would like to say:
    I was never this bad!
    Stop using my name!

    • stumpknocker

      let them eat confefe

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    New USA hattip to @superdave for pointing out that he wears the hat in pressers and events when he didn’t have 2 hours to get his hair, or whatever you call that thing, done.

    • NastyBossetti

      How can that horrifying rat’s nest possibly take more than 2 minutes to achieve?

      • Maggielle

        It’s architected.

        • therblig

          in the same way the tacoma narrows bridge was architected?

          • H0mer0

            wouldn’t that be kewl if we could find its resonance frequency and watch it bounce?

    • jodyleek

      I thought I’d read somewhere that Melon actually “does” his hair. I suppose a hairdresser couldn’t be trusted not to talk about how ridiculous it is.

      • Daniel

        It’s actually spun disdain. Her contempt for him is so great in manifests as a spider-silk like fibre that she releases through her tear ducts*. It is collected by trained caterpillars- similar to silk worms- who spin it into cocoons where they sleep and shit in it. The shit makes it mouldable.
        This mass is harvested by people trafficked Filipino house-servants, carded, combed and woven into a thing for which there is no accurate English translation but the closest would be “Cloud of fecal hatred, terror dream bezoar”. She sets this on his head before he wakes, securing it in place with her spit, and thus he believes it’s his actual hair.

        He is very stupid.

        *hence the shades.

        • jodyleek

          “The shit makes it mouldable.”
          You’ve described not only Trumpy’s hair but also his persona, his political campaign, his soul, etc.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          And this is why I come to Wonkette. Every day, I always learn something new.

          The More You Know…

      • therblig

        Midas has donkey ears!

    • SweetDeeKat

      I’m enjoying the rumors that he had plastic surgery and the hats are covering up the healing scars.

  • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

    Everyone knows that you wear sensible flats when you touch down in a flood-ravaged area, then you change into Jules “evedon” rain boots for the photo op.

    Jeez.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Does Melon have a full wardrobe on AF1? She left in a black top and touched down in a white top.

    • cmd resistor

      I can’t wear white clothes on a good day because dirt just seeks them out. But surely the last thing I would wear to a flooded mud ravaged disaster zone.

      • ltmcdies

        Was she ever actually in a “flood zone”…

        • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

          If she sorta squinted when she looked east, she might have been able to see a vague fuzzy outline of it.

          • Weird Fishes

            Unless it was just the drugs wearing off.

            See, Donny knows his audience: Trophy Wife Time

        • cmd resistor

          Probably not.

      • Maggielle

        Plus my real live actual sweat and the meltdown of my sunscreen interferes with the crisp look. But if you’re wealthy enough to wear something once and then throw it away, I guess that would work.

        • cmd resistor

          Yeah, I can’t do the crisp look, either. My stuff gets uncrisp between the clothes hanger and putting it on.;

  • Culinary Mercenary

    At least he wasn’t trying to sell the 45brand Depends.😛

  • Jess Walker

    You know some staffer had to run off and print him a new placecard after he pitched a fit his name wasn’t bigly enough.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Because, otherwise, no one would have known he was precedent…

      • Weird Fishes

        or the Predisent, for that matter

  • CripesAmighty

    Next they’re gonna dig up Ed McMahon and send him around with giant checks.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • chascates

      Did he think being President would be like being a celebrity spokesman or a board chairman? Was he told the job might be more than 40 hours a week or was he just interested in getting a bigger jet and more lackeys?

      • bbayliss

        A black guy could do it, how hard can it be?

      • VirginiaWackelpudding

        Yes. No. Yes.

  • Flashman

    The headline on the visit piece in today’s fooking Minneapolis paper was Trump Offers Flag-waving Optimism to Houston. This makes me get all stabby.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Which is about as useful as “thoughts and prayers”.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      I think there’s a little hint of sarcasm in that headline…

      • beatbort

        Agreed. I work at a daily paper in Ct. and we had a similar headline on the front page. We sat around before printing it discussing ways we could subtly convey our disgust with “our president”

  • eyelashviper

    as always, the cartoons say it all so well:

    http://www.suprmchaos.com/lumpy_how-do-i-look_083017.jpg

    • Celtic_Gnome

      This is one of the best depictions of Trump I’ve seen.

  • unionthuggery

    Can’t they just put him in a closet somewhere, and only roll him out like twice a year? This everyday embarrassment bullshit needs to stop.

  • eyelashviper

    And this is just sad. This good man is cooking food for people in Rockport,
    Texas, hoping to bring everyone a good meal. The sign is pathetic, it may take awhile for people like him to catch on to the Grifter in Chief:
    Unless of course, I am misreading the message, and the dude is planning a Fried Green Tomatoes solution..

    http://www.suprmchaos.com/welcome1_082917.jpg

    • EvilHRLady

      It’s all in the sauce…

  • eyelashviper

    And more, in case you womens out there are wondering what to wear to the next Disaster, we now have guidance:

    http://www.suprmchaos.com/melania_disaster-barbie_083017.jpg

    • kareemachan

      And someone pointed out that drumpster was basically wearing the nazi unfiorm that what’s-his-face said was sexy: khakis and white polo.

      Side note: saw a photo on TV where Melanoma had ditched the stilettos. Guess too many people laughed at her.

      • VirginiaWackelpudding

        She switched them for gleaming white tennis shoes. No mud where she’s touring obviously.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    “It’s an experience which, unfortunately, we’ve never had before…”

  • ken_kukec

    “Harvey” sounds like such an innocent name?

    I dunno, guy with the middle name Harvey blew the brains outta one of his predecessors on his last trip to Texas.

    For a boomer, Trump knows nothing of the formative experiences of his generation.

    • kareemachan

      You could have stopped after the word “nothing”.

      • ken_kukec

        Could’ve eliminated the opening prepositional phrase, too, now that you mention it.

    • Yeah…by my count, Melon is the second eastern European chick to come to Texas with her blowhard, violent, idiot husband with too much to prove.

      • ken_kukec

        Both their husbands had weird ties to Russia, also too.

    • Weird Fishes

      He vaguely recalls from the paper, but he was much too busy making deals.

    • everstar

      Harvey will always be a six-foot-tall invisible rabbit to me.

    • Eileen Besse

      “Boomer” libelz!!!!! Double-dog-libelz!!!

  • janecita

    Lucky for Texas, the Congressmen from NY/NJ aren’t the vengeful type, because this would be the perfect time to tell all these assholes to fuck off.

    • H0mer0

      (Goodfellas simile not attempted)

  • beatbort

    The real issue here is whether Texans will remember Trump’s bullshit performance in the next election.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    The feeling of visceral revulsion I experience whenever I hear him speak is like nothing I’ve ever felt in my life. I cannot listen to him. Even reading transcripts is enough to set my teeth grinding.

    • foiled again

      Sing out, brother. Yes.

    • Maggielle

      Yeah, I need to start wearing my custom-made dental night guard 24/7.

    • mailman27

      I dive for the remote any time he appears on the screen.

      • Eileen Besse

        I just did–he’s talking in Missouri about something something….

    • And i thought bush would be the worst we’d ever experience.

  • La forza del resistino

    Donald to return to TX Saturday to console some more damp flags and then onto Dallas to grift a couple of seats in the owner’s box from pal Jerry Jones for the Cowboy’s game

  • Mormos

    pffft, everyone knows the CEO of the Justice League is Maxwell Lord. If they think they can replace the guy who brainwashed superman, i have a bridge they might be interested in.

  • Mormos

    delete

    • eyelashviper

      We know it was not done by him, it was spelled correctly.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      His divorce lawyer says he’s the PREDISENT. And I believe him.

  • Jgb979

    The WWE has a net worth of 1.6 billion with 700+ million of income in 2016.

    Linda McMahon is not a small business owner. She’s probably richer than you dipshit when you subtract all the Russian laundering money

    • Pisto75666

      Trump just wants her to convince Vince to book a Hurricane Harvey Battle Royal.

      Hey, if he’s got to “work”, he might as well get some entertainment out of it. /s

  • sosuume

    Oh thank God. Ben Carson is there from HUD. I’m so relieved. Was afraid he might not show and all hell would break loose in Texas.

    • therblig

      at least the grain will be dry

      • sosuume

        What?? They scrapped the wall and built a pyramid instead?

        • H0mer0

          ah, no! I’m not falling for that opening and getting banhammered*!

          *see Futurama episode when Bender becomes a pharoah

  • Poly_Ester

    The trump administration is like deleted scenes from “Being There.” present but unaccounted for. When will donnie appoint sheriff arpaio his roving goodwill ambassador?

  • renegade500

    Oh it was such a delight to have Trump in town just in time to really screw up rush hour. That was so helpful, and will certainly help me with my downed tree limbs from over the weekend (esp the yoog one that fell). So helpful.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    “Harvy is most expensive storm ever. TREMENDUS property destroyed. Jet fuel prices already way up. It’s a DISASTER!” #DeletedTrumpTweets

    • covfefesumgame0005

      real estate prices DOWN so he can buy lots and lots and build Trump Towers to the sky!

      • H0mer0

        “Delta Don, what’s that ball cap you got on, could it be a faded hope from days gone by?”

  • IdiotsforPalin

    Nothing says disaster relief better than 6″ CFM heels……….

  • VirginiaWackelpudding

    Gonna disagree with one point. We should see people depending on teenagers in boats for help. It shows people acting like decent human beings. WE NEED TO SEE THIS. It also too gives them a sense of purpose and of doing something worthwhile. Teens need this. We all need this and so very many of us don’t have the chance to do good on a life saving scale.
    And if anyone thinks this government administration is going to help those people, send me muniez so I can pray away de waters. Only an idjut is going to depend on this government. They will never do as much as those kids will, and they get paid. Fuck them!

    • C4TWOMAN

      I agree about the teens. Been reading too many articles about teens brains being eaten by smartphones. While this is a real issue, it isn’t just teens.s. Also too, part of the problem is no clear direction or opportunities for initiative. ALL teens want to “do something real”. FFS teach them how and let them.
      I clearly remember wanting to get out there and help as a teen. But then I enlisted at 17….

      • VirginiaWackelpudding

        Give them the chance to feel good about helping others or hand them a tiki torch. Let them learn for themselves that helping others feels good. Let them feel proud of themselves for their efforts. Or let them have no chance to feel anything but fear and hate for their fellow man. These are things our society and big religious mega traps of ignorance can’t. Everything else failed. It’s almost like mother earth is giving us a chance to grow and learn from our past mistakes. Thanks mom!!

    • Fivedollarfeminist

      I agree. I hope my kids would be as brave. It’s just heartbreaking that we have to depend on the heroism of children because we don’t want to pay taxes. The article said they were the only boat in the neighborhood. What if they hadn’t been there?

      • VirginiaWackelpudding

        It’s hard for me to put my feelings about this into words. Sometimes my passionate comes out as arglebargle. Still, I persist.

        • Fivedollarfeminist

          Not argle bargle at all! Thanks for persisting!

    • cmd resistor

      One of the reasons I took my kid to the relief handing out supply thingies in Fla. after a much less serious hurricane was so he would be a part of the greater good and all that.

  • sosuume
    • Augustus

      also, fucking forty dollars are you kidding me

      • Permit-holder Ron

        Do you have any idea how much it costs to ship stuff from China these days?

    • Oblios_Cap

      Will they pay you $40 if you order one? Cause that’s the only way I would be caught with one of those.

    • Hardly Ideal

      Man, I was mad when the local surf shops tried to charge me that much for shorts. This may as well have “GRIFT” embroidered on the front.

  • C4TWOMAN


    Or was it that those “many, many millions of dollars to help people out” has to come from tax revenue, and Republicans in Congress are focused right now on a massive tax cut for the super-rich?

    As horrid as this is, and while I would never wish this disaster to happen, I hope it will destroy the GOP’s political currency for this precise reason: they cannot respond effectively AND cut funds.
    And the whole world is watching.

    • Weird Fishes

      The whole world generally is.

      As the Republicans prove time and again that they’re institutionally incapable and/or unwilling to do anything close to the right thing.

      Then the whole world shakes its head and walks away. One day they won’t come back.

  • wait! what?

    Here’s how the “Business Insider” turns some important Hurricane Harvey news into a storybook photo-op.

    http://www.businessinsider.com/photosus-military-saving-lives-after-hurricane-harvey-2017-8/#texas-gov-gregg-abbott-called-harvey-one-of-the-largest-disasters-america-ever-faced-and-activated-the-state-national-guard-on-monday-1

    Regardless; kudos to the National Guard and all that they are doing.

  • fawkedifiknow

    It sure was an inspiring moment when Trump and his current trophy-wife showed up to inform people in the Houston area that they have had some bad weather lately.

    • H0mer0

      “Who knew hurricanes could be so devastating!”
      –(one who lacks imagination, sense of reality and compassion.)

  • Jenny

    I finally got a call from the red cross to pick a shift to work. Yaaaaay. Now if they’ll just send me the link to pick a shift….

  • mailman27

    Trump prolly thought it’d be great to spend a day in the Bone Spur State.

  • Fresh Hell

    That Cajun navy lady is a real racist. Please check her Twtitter timeline. It’s horrifying. I’m sure her squad didn’t turn out for New Orleans victims–unless they were white.

    • Fivedollarfeminist

      Oh, goddammit!!!

    • jowgajen

      I doubt she’s the whole cajun navy. Gotta use the tools at hand.

      • Hardly Ideal

        I wouldn’t be surprised if there were some like-minded shit-kickers in the navy, but I’d rather not dwell on that lest I finally slip past the despair event horizon.

    • Red Bird

      Twho?

    • okay then

      The “Cajun Navy” really just came about during last year’s floods in Baton Rouge and westward, etc. as I recall. During Katrina I’m sure some folks that were able to got into their boats and helped their neighbors and so on, but it was much tougher to do so: they weren’t allowing people into the city and so many people around the state were affected. But as a group who dubbed themselves “the Cajun Navy,” they didn’t exist as this during Katrina. And yeah some people are plenty racist here in many parts of Louisiana, unfortunately :(

      • Anyone who puts their own lives on hold while they travel for miles and miles and miles to help their fellow human beings in a time of disaster is immune from criticism for the time being.

    • everstar

      If I promise to be appalled by her political views, can we continue to have her rescue people?

  • Panika MCD

    Col. McCraw does not look happy in any of those videos…for good reason.

    • Red Bird

      He still got a warm welcome. Pretty shifty that he didn’t visit the shelter. Even governor wheels did that.

      • Panika MCD

        Gov. Wheels is good at playing to the camera. Col. McCraw looks like he wants to get back to more important things.

  • Portia McGonagal

    I mean I at least expected him to accidentally pass his hand over a case of bottled water to pretend like he was delivering something useful.

  • mancityRed6

    “…why is The Narcissist in Chief’s placecard in gazillion-point font?”
    asked and answered.

    • TakingAmes

      Also, Gov. Wheels’ had his title and name. Maybe the person typing out the placecards couldn’t bring themselves to type out President Donalllllll Trummmm…… Sorry. Turns out I can’t do it either.

    • Cat Cafe of the Subpoenas

      “I want to say THE PRESIDENT! In BIG TYPE SO EVERYONE CAN SEE IT! I’m the PRESIDENT! FUCK YOU! FUCK EVERYONE!”

      • H0mer0

        Reminds me of the introduction in the musical “EVITA” :”People of ARGENTINA! Our NEWly elected PRESIDENT, Juan PERon!” (followed by a chorus of people singing “PERon, PERon” in rhythm)

        (emphases the way I remember it)

  • Lefty Wright

    Good thing Carson was in Corpus Christi where it was not pouring rain. Otherwise, like the tale of the turkeys drowning in a rainstorm because they kept looking up at the sky and rain flooded their lungs, Carson may have fallen asleep with mouth agape and nose to the sky while staring at the Houston rain clouds.

  • God I miss Joan Rivers.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Why is Tom Price at every single fucking thing the White House does? Commerce Secretary used to be one of the most obscure cabinet positions, and he shows up at the war room when Assmouth bombs Syria and every major appearance since then. It’s fucking odd.

    • LesBontemps

      Price is HHS, not Commerce. He is in TX presumably because he declared the hurricane and its aftermath to be a public health emergency.

      He’s still a self-dealing inside-trading shit, though.

  • Nothing Makes Disasters Great like stealing the show with this very classy pair of “fuck you” heels.

  • Vorhees

    On theweek.com right now 2 headlines –

    “Against the Disaster Tour”
    “In Praise of the Disaster Tour”

    Fight! Fight Fight!

  • David

    And again, where is the fucking military? It’s been 5 days since landfall and there is still only 4000 TX NG and the CG on the ground. DOD has thousands of troops ready to go, but Gov ABbott hasn’t called them in yet…what, is Rummy in charge of this operation?

    • Jennaratrix

      Oh, because Texas don’t need no big gubmint, Texans are gonna take care of shit themselves and not be like those moochers!

      • HooverVilles

        Won’t happen until Texas stops being a Federal Tax Dollar taker.

    • You mean you think that something like all those people at Forts Sam Houston, Bliss, and Hood might have things like portable shelters, water purification systems, medical capabilities, and helicopters? Who would need those?

  • Krombopulous Pichael

    what a worthless garbage person

  • Paperless Tiger

    Now the gasoline prices are gonna spike, which is probably the only thing that will make Americans have second thoughts about electing a lunatic.

  • SisterArtemis

    Kids these days… ya make me proud, guys, thanks so much!

    • H0mer0

      I tell ya, they ARE better than us*, just like Obama said.

      *by ‘us,’ I mean to speak for myself.

  • Pisto75666

    OT: http://www.rawstory.com/2017/08/he-wont-be-able-to-avoid-hugging-chris-christie-promises-trump-will-eventually-touch-texans/

    President Donald Trump was criticized for his lack of empathy and compassion often seen by past presidents visiting the survivors of terrible tragedies.

    Trump landed in Corpus Christi, Texas and met with authorities and received a briefing by FEMA in person, rather than via conference call. But he never met with actual survivors, because the rescues were still underway. Traditionally, presidents ask local officials when a good time would be to come to town to meet with survivors after a disaster, so it doesn’t pull away too many resources. Trump decided he was coming Tuesday come hell or high water. However, the disaster continued and it became the latter.

    Gov. Chris Christie (R-NJ) swears that he will become more empathetic when he sees people.

    “I think when he goes back there this weekend — because, remember, he wasn’t in Houston,” Christie began, explaining that Trump didn’t see any of the people.

    “He didn’t [hug anyone] yesterday because he didn’t see the people,” he continued. “I will tell you, when he sees those people, and I know him, he won’t be able to avoid, and won’t want to avoid, hugging and making those people feel better.”

    Christie swore Tuesday was a “competence day” supervising the efforts on the ground.

    “I predict when he goes back on Saturday, and he starts to see victims and he starts to see damage, there is no way as a human being you can see that and not be affected, and I think you’ll see that personal side of the president come out then,” Christie continued.

    Jeez, haven’t these people been through ENOUGH?

    • Invidosa

      The last thing they need is the orange fucking earthquake trying to touch them

      • Pisto75666

        Time to stock up on Dial soap and bleach!

      • Whollyholeyholy

        Do you suppose if GWB shook his hand, he would towel it off on Bill Clinton, like happened with those Haitian earthquake victims?

  • susan_g

    You’d think that TX was suffering enough.

  • xbutter

    If Trump himself, any of his his family, or any of the billionaire assholes in his cabinet have given even a dime of their own money for relief efforts I have yet to hear of it. So he goes there, while the waters are still rising and people are dying and losing everything, to hold what amounts to another of his campaign 2020 fundraising rallies except with no possibility of himself having to interact with any of those people who have recently been in sewage water and who don’t have any money to be grifted away anyhow.

  • empf

    Did you hear someone say “some of us have to work for a living. “

  • TakingAmes

    What’s the over-under on how long FEMA Director “Some white man’s name that’s only slightly less white than Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III” lasts in the job, now that Lord Dampnut has mentioned how famous he’s become over the last couple of days?

  • quantum mechanic

    I enjoyed the part where he went around the table and made everyone say how happy they were to be working for such a god like president. Also the bit where, if it hadn’t been for the obstructionist Democrats, he could have stopped Harvey from reaching landfall.

  • whitroth

    Onion == NYT… Hey, there appears to be something like a UK version of the Onion…http://rochdaleherald.co.uk/

    Oh, it just hit me: don’t you realize Melania was trying to help Texas, by poking holes in the ground with those idiotic heels, so all the water would drain down and refill the aquifers 500 mi away?

    • Celtic_Gnome

      The Rochdale Herald made me LOL with the headline Terrorists “Disappointed” To Be Rewarded With 72 Vegans in Heaven.

      • whitroth

        Did you see where they did a spectroscopic analysis of his “hair”, and determined it was alpaca? (The Best Alpaca, of course….)

  • cmd resistor

    This might be the dumbest thing I read today about Melania’s shoes.
    “Stilettos are her trademark. The former supermodel wears them everywhere, and has done so long before she ever stepped into her new role as first lady. It’s practically impossible to find a photo of her ever wearing anything else.
    So for her to swap stilettos for anything, let alone sneakers, really is rather remarkable. If Melania’s not in heels, something really is wrong in the world. That’s why those Adidas were perhaps her most significant and symbolic fashion statement yet.” http://thehill.com/blogs/pundits-blog/the-administration/348580-opinion-melania-trumps-stilettos-arent-insensitive-but

    • Whollyholeyholy

      My favorite thing was trading them in for the equally impractical pristine white sneakers. Even a snotty East Coast elite can muck about in some Hunter wellies.

    • Manders

      Blech. Look, I figured she was only going to wear the stupid heels for the plane ride. But her feet must be in fucking awful shape (unless she gets them replaced every few years) and if those two had anyone who cared about them, or that they would listen to, they would have told her the optics suck, that she’s beautiful and slim and tall and can hold off on the things for one lousy trip.

    • The Librarian

      The writer of that ridiculous piece might have made it work until she implied that we should be proud we have a FLOTUS that wears nice clothes. That’s all, folks. Flushed it straight down the toilet.

      So did Michelle, but she was also a caring person who made a difference with her good works.

  • Whollyholeyholy

    I’ve never been a big romantic about the Texas flag, but I wanted to vomit watching it blow up against his bloated form under the circumstances. He’s pretty much the antithesis of a Houstonian.

  • The Librarian

    Nothing as sickening as a self-congratulatory pat on the back for a job you didn’t do.

    • H0mer0

      (while feeding the narrative that Obummer was playing golf during Katrina and 911 on the taxpayer dime. I don’t even want to watch that circle jerk since he makes me sick. You can imagine how sad he is about “giving away many, many millions of dollars to help people out” if by “people” you mean diverting funds to build the wall to help his contractor buddies out or tax cuts.)

      • The Librarian

        Yes, this. Spot on.

  • Zyxomma

    Thanks, $5F. I made it through a few seconds of video; I can’t stand to look at or listen to that grifter.

    • Fivedollarfeminist

      Thanks, Z!

  • YetAnotherRebecca

    Once the flood waters receed and Texas doesn’t need them so desperately, can we make Jim “Mattress Mack” McIngvale President and 15 year old Declan with the boat VP? They are clearly both people with compassion, who care deeply about their fellow humans, and who don’t need to be fucking shamed into doing the right thing.

    I’d like to see how many people that kid could creatively save with a coast guard fleet under his command and how many people Mattress Mack could feed and shelter with all of HUD’s and FEMA’s resources.

  • Husband Of Mrs God

    Ben Carson… “Heckuva job, Sleepy!”

  • Stolen from someone else; I wish I came up with it.

    Everyone sing along!

    Sheriff Joe, me gotta go down to the Bayou.
    Photo-ops are the tops for my bozos.
    Sell some hats to swimming rats, then go home-o
    Never strayed from motorcade on the Bayou

    • Shaydee

      I’m game! Let’s see:
      ‘Melanie brought some shoes on the trip-oh …
      caught some flak, they weren’t flat, they stiletto…’

      • H0mer0

        ‘Swab his mon to buy Houston FEMA funding,
        son of a gun we’ll have big fun with my bozos.’

        • Shaydee

          ‘Pick pockets, fill coffers, avoid the gayos …
          Son of a gun we’ll have big fun with Billy Bush-oh … ‘

  • SeeTrain65

    It was nice Melanoma changed out of her “Fuck You” pumps to sneakers, tho.

    • HooverVilles

      Someone probably told her to do that. It’s doubtful she would have thought of that on her own.

    • Chuck

      What about that FLOTUS hat ? She isn’t close to being the first lady , 3rd maybe 4th if you count Ivanka .

      • chiefkurtz

        Donald originally ordered one that read ‘FLILF’.

  • ContextIsKey

    When D.C. sends its people they aren’t sending their best…

  • Jay Silversmith

    Preznit dumbphuk knows not that funding for disaster relief takes many, many months and sometimes years to be approved. Meanwhile, he collected $17 million from the government when a couple tiles and some trees fell during a hurricane. And no one went to jail for that.

  • Cornelius Fussbudget

    > Also, too, why is The Narcissist in Chief’s placecard in gazillion-point font?

    Furthermore, as well, why isn’t his title in scare quotes: “THE PRESIDENT”

  • Swap those three letters on his mall kiosk hat from USA to WIG. More accurate.

  • Teto85

    He made the whole damn thing about himself. SMFH and proudly wearing one of my Wonkette hats, the 2 of them cost less, but are worth more, than one of those hats he was wearing. Go, donate to Texas relief and buy a Wonkette hat while you are at it. (I do not work for Wonkette, nor am I a paid spokesperson, I just like the hats)

  • Craig Williams

    Wonkette, excellent work, except… This may be beside the point, but the transcript of his remarks (Linda McMahon, many millions, etc.) actually do reflect what he said; you’ve linked to the wrong transcript. Here’s the correct one: https://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2017/08/29/remarks-president-trump-briefing-state-leadership-hurricane-harvey

Previous articleTrump Upstages Harvey In Texas. Wonkagenda for Wed., Aug. 30, 2017
Next articleDana Rohrabacher Ready To Dead-Drop Julian Assange’s Love Notes Into Donald Trump’s Pants