SHARE
Stiletto Galoshes by Prada, $2195, dumb fucking “USA” hat by Trump Campaign, $40

When we parked our car outside the Wonket Secret Chat Cave this morning, the FIRST THING we said to anyone was, “I’m worried Chris Cillizza just saw Trump get on the helicopter to go to Texas and thinks he just became president.” We were thinking about Chuck Todd too. And Mark Halperin. And half the White House press corps.

And it was true that when Donald and Melania walked to the helicopter on the way to the airplane, they looked ALMOST normal, if you forget literally everything else that’s happened before today. They were wearing clothes that weren’t even gold-plated, so they could go visit the devastation in South Texas. Hopefully they don’t find a way to visit even more devastation on South Texas.

God, all you beltway jackholes, we shouldn’t have to say this, and we know the bar is REALLY LOW, but Trump isn’t being presidential if he manages to visit Texas without dropping his own literal turds in the flood waters.

It was Glenn Thrush of the New York Times who wrote the offending article:

GLENN. Glenn, Glenn, Glenn! Glennforth Thrushington III! What the hell are you doing? Can you even see the stupid words you just typed?

Hurricane Harvey was the rarest of disasters to strike during the Trump presidency — a maelstrom not of Mr. Trump’s making, and one that offers him an opportunity to recapture some of the unifying power of his office he has squandered in recent weeks.

“Recent weeks”? Like the hundred some-odd recent weeks since he walked down the escalator in Trump Tower and kicked off his campaign by calling Mexicans rapists?

In announcing his trips, he used the dulcet, reassuring and uplifting language of prior presidents.

Dulcet? DULCET? Because he hasn’t used any of his announcements to give Nazis a reach-around or brag about his Electoral College win, his tones are DULCET?????? Oh Jesus Christ, that is exactly …

His rhetoric was strikingly different from his much-criticized pronouncements at a news conference this month when he equated the actions of leftist protesters in Charlottesville, Va., with the violent, torch-wielding alt-right activists who hurled anti-Semitic and racist epithets.

… what Glenn Thrush is fucking saying. Now, to appear “presidential,” Trump must only refrain from saying Nazis Have Feelings Too. We’ve fallen that far.

Thrush notes, of course, that White House staffers are worried Trump will go off script and try to grab the remnants of Harvey by the pussy, or commence to bragging that more people showed up for his hurricane visit than ever showed up for Obama’s hurricane visits.

Honestly, compared to literally any other president, Trump really hasn’t done a good job responding to Harvey, “Heckuva job, Brownie” Bush notwithstanding. All his tweets about it have been of the “RAIN SO BIG!” genre, which, while scientifically accurate, is not exactly presidential. His public statements have basically been “it’s going to be doing so much raining, you’re going to get sick of raining.” For instance, at his presser with the president of Finland, he said this:

“It’s the biggest ever. They’re saying it’s the biggest ever. It’s historic. It’s like Texas. It’s really like Texas, if you think about it. But it is a historic amount of water,” Trump said on Monday afternoon, sitting beside Finnish President Sauli Niinistö during his visit to the White House.

Oh, and did we mention how Trump has been wearing his stupid fucking product placement “USA” hats, the ones the Trump Campaign is selling — really, buy these instead — every time he makes a hurricane-related appearance? Or that he used the occasion of the storm slamming into the Texas coast to pardon racist shitbag Joe Arpaio on Friday night, because he thought his announcement would get better “ratings” during the wall-to-wall hurricane coverage?

What the fuck is our debased standard here, Glenn Thrush? Is it that “it COULD be worse”? Well, sure it could! We suppose he could pluck children who look Hispanic out of the floodwaters and have them airlifted to Mexico. He could do lots of embarrassing things!

By any metric, Trump is doing the bare minimum that decency requires in this situation. He hasn’t made hurricanes great again or anything. ANY PERSON READING THIS RIGHT NOW has the requisite experience to show up for a photo op, say, “Boy, rain! I don’t know!” and then promise the federal government will do everything it can.

We do not care if Donald Trump puts a baby in a boat or Melania and her stiletto galoshes pose for a goofy picture with the Cajun Navy. Stop being so easily fucking impressed, please.

We think we have made our point. Glenn Thrush, we’re sorry we had to give you shit for this, but oh well, you wrote the damn thing. Now go tell your friends Maggie Haberman and Maureen Dowd and Chris Cillizza and Chuck Todd that you’ve learned your lesson, and that they should also please STFU about hurricanes making people “presidential.”

Wonkette has spoken.

In Jesus’s name,

Amen.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Wonkette salaries are fully paid by lovely souls like you! If you love us, click below to pay us!

[New York Times]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Joe Beese
  • MynameisBlarney

    Calling this a disaster is massive understatement.

    https://www.democraticunderground.com/10029528808

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Man made disaster visits natural disaster. Peak Inception, sheeple!

    • jesterpunk

      Which part? Trump’s presidency or the hurricane?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yes.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    “La Dulcet Vita”

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Thrush off, Glenn. You’re out of your depth.

  • CafeenMan

    Is anyone else really over the whole “Presidential” thing? It never needs to be said again while Trump is President or in any discussion about Trump.

    He isn’t and never will be. That’s all anyone needs to know and doesn’t require any discussion. Just know it and move on.

    • FauxAntocles

      Agreed – Trump is to presidential what a dung beetle is to prestigious.

      • CafeenMan

        A dung beetle works hard rolling that pile of shit for a potential mate. Any single dung beetle has done more for others in that one act than Trump has in his entire life.

    • Wild Cat

      Kubuki at a 10% level can still keep a society functioning.
      We’re at 99% Kubuki now, so things are very, very morbid.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      The first clue for these talking heads/journalists/what-the-fuck-ever is that they never, ever, ever, had to utter those words about any previous presidents.

      I get that Bush the Lessor did some embarrassing shit and wasn’t the most graceful speaker, but those were the times he wasn’t acting presidential. All the other times, he was. The exact opposite is true of Two Scoops.

      • cmd resistor

        Exactly.

  • Nounverb911
  • jesuswasablack

    President wipes his own ass, film at eleven!

    http://trcthoughts.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/Low-Bar.jpeg

    • schmannity

      So, Spicer is totally out of a job?

  • “We suppose he could pluck children who look Hispanic out of the floodwaters and have them airlifted to Mexico”

    Don’t give him any ideas…

    • Joe Beese

      I literally just scrolled down to post that. Word for word.

  • WiscoJoe

    2009-2016: Is this Obama’s Hurricane Katrina?

    Now: But maybe Trump’s Hurricane Katrina is a good thing?

  • Zonath

    Wishful thinking, post-hoc defensiveness over having normalized this piece of shit to the point where it was “elected” “President”, or Stockholm Syndrome. You decide.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Michelle Obama in Haiti after the 2010 earthquake.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DIZ67ccUEAI2rgz.jpg

    Not sayin’ , just sayin’.

    • Roadstergal

      Isn’t it great that fuck-me heels are bringing class back to the White House?

      *barf*

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        I’m so glad we have a classy first lady again.

        *barf*

        • BreakingDeadMen

          Noblesse oblige like noblesse I know

          • Marykcortez

            Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family!!!
            On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            >>>http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash440TopProductions/GetPay$97/Hour…….

      • HooverVilles

        Yep. Melania posing nude and posing wearing a thong with a gun really defines Klassy.

        And GOTPers heads were all esplody when Michelle wore a sleeveless dress.

        Sigh!

    • BigCSouthside

      Chucks are appropriate footwear for pretty much anything IMHO

      • DainBramage

        Much better than Malaria’s stiletto heels.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Except for basketball.
        The actually are pretty shitty for that.
        Good skate shoes if you get the leather ones though.

      • Truthiness2U

        Kinda? But they have no arch support. So they look cute, and a jillion better than every single heel ever, yes, every single one ever (heels are that bad), so I would totally agree that for some sort of short-term and/or photo-op thing, much better than heels, but they’re not actually good for your feet, knees or back.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      No doubt “conservatives” were having coronaries over the FLOTUS wearing very practical clothing.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        I’m sure there were some severely racist terms thrown around because she had the gall not to wear a ball gown to her tour.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Those shoes are not very dressy…

    • ez

      No Heels, no class. /s

    • Michael Smith

      But her skin color… so unpresidential.

  • WIDTAP

    Anybody taking bets about Trump showing up at a disaster relief center,and seeing the crowd, breaks into one of his self centered campaign speeches?

    • Nounverb911

      I read on the internets that AF 1 was loaded with copies of his electoral map….

    • Zonath

      Only at 0 to 1 odds.

    • Look at all these people who came out to see me. Obama never had these crowds at his disaster camps!

    • SterWonk

      Nice try, but who on Earth would be dumb enough to take that bet?

  • Joe Beese

    More presidential than anyone except Abe Lincoln, who had an unfair advantage.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6ec0b1f6eba8bb647a94c5bbff7b6e0f9457bf9bcefc4b3faeb39b71fa38236a.png

    • schmannity

      That’s why Trump is angling for a new Civil War.

    • foiled again

      Triggered.

    • Rags

      White power sign again

    • Popillius

      How do you even get your mouth to make that shape?

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      This photo, along with the one in the tennis shorts, needs to end up in his Twitter feed every day.

  • stankbait

    I heard the FEMAS had 1,200 portable toilets on the way to help out.
    Probably need food and drinking water first. Ya think?

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Why not everything?

      At any rate, where there are large groups, the porta-potties are essential to prevent dysentery and worse.

      • stankbait

        Giving a whale a box of tic tacs probably won’t help the smell coming out it’s blow hole.

        At this point every flush from millions is running into the streets.

    • kareemachan

      Portapotties are good too – keeps the disease at bay.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        ^^^this

      • Dr. Jo

        Do they even have enough high ground to set them up?

    • jesuswasablack

      I thought those were used for the FEMA death camps during operation jade-helm?
      http://allnewspipeline.com/images/femadeathcamp.jpeg

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    Well, you know they’re going to do it. The Republican Party is going to find some dear little old lady for the slimy bastard to hug, he’s going to hug her on camera, and somebody’s (everybody’s) going to say, Today, Donald Trump became president of the United States, and we’re just going to keep going there again and again, down the same damn rabbit hole time after time after time, because Les Moonves and Jeff Zucker made it so we’d have to, and there’s no way to stop it.

    By the way, Melania isn’t exactly going to be joining a sandbagging brigade in those shoes, is she? Does she think she’s going to be doing a hurricane-themed black-socks-men’s-magazine shoot while she’s down in Texas?

  • kareemachan

    ‘Dulcet’? Jeebus.

    Also, too, who’s Glen Thrush?

  • Roadstergal

    We’re in the Overton cellar at this point.

    • Nockular cavity

      Overton sewer.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        Overton cesspool
        for all of the shit
        to run down in

  • lucidamente

    Melania looks like she’s about to film a scene opposite an actor named Glen Thrust.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      How fucking insane are those heels? WTF is wrong with that bitch?

      • Scooby

        Maybe she thinks they will keep her high and dry.

        • when your mouth is gettin’ dry… you plenty high

      • Nothing says “I’m there for you” than a bomber jacket and a pair of stripper heels.

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    It makes me want to vomit when I see him wearing that jacket…..

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      It makes me want to vomit when I see him wearing that jacket…..
      –FTFY

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    “I see a stiletto of a man.
    Will he do the falsetto?”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      A little silhouetto of a man. Extremely little.

      • Rags

        Very, very frightening.

  • Joe Beese

    New Pew poll shows 65% of Republicans not liking or with mixed feelings about Trump’s conduct as president.

    • DainBramage

      They are slow people.

      • My people are destroyed for lack of speed.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Dull, set tones.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    Truly, any article that doesn’t disclaim some variation “Donald Trump is a traitorous and unfathomably corrupt shitweasel who belongs in a penitentiary” is committing journalistic malpractice.

  • Indiepalin

    Texas, it’s a whole ‘nother ocean.

  • Joe Beese

    This deserves to be a thing that Glenn Thrush never ever lives down.

    In his nursing home, the orderly wiping his ass should snicker “Is that a dulcet touch, Mr. Thrush?”

  • Nounverb911
  • jesterpunk

    “On this day Trump became Presidential.”

    No, shut up, not flinging shit at the crowd doesnt make you presidential.

    https://media.giphy.com/media/k9kKWKaUEDBM4/giphy.gif

  • coozledad

    They’re blinded by the white. Always will be.

  • msanthropesmr

    Christ what an asshole.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      That caption always works

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    “Big Texas. Big water.” Donald can shove a big yellow rose up his ass…

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Thrush and Haberman both need to be put on Donald’s ice floe and set adrift.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Forget grading on a curve. Thrush went straight to “pass/fail” with anything other than strangling a Messican being a “pass”.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Good post! I like this tone, Evan. Good, sharp mockery. I give it 4 mackerels.

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    It’s disheartening that Glenn Thrush, like everybody else at Pinch Sulzberger’s New York Times, and like virtually everybody with a good job anywhere in the News Biz, sees whatever happens, from nuclear threats to natural catastrophes, not as events in and of themselves worthy of consideration, but as a mere flattened out, anomic backdrop against which to to test the poll numbers and the political fortunes of this orange schmuck.

    “Was the hurricane bad news for Texans but good news for Donald Trump?” will be the Beltway crowd’s pressing question of the hour, until it is replaced by “was dropping that nuclear bomb on Pyongyang (or Tehran, or Chicago, or whatever) good or bad for Donald?” And so it goes.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      HORSE RACE! HORSE RACE!

      • BreakingDeadMen

        Secretariat libelz

    • Ricky Gay

      ‘If it bleeds, he leads’

    • Covfefe

      Just occurred to me. Maybe this wasn’t the gays this time. Maybe Jesus is just pissed at Donald,

    • DainBramage

      Jesus would’ve kicked this guy’s useless butt out of the temple.

      • then how would he get his parking validated?

      • Joe Beese

        Matthew 7:21 strongly suggests that on Judgment Day, Osteen is gonna be like “Jesus! It’s me! Joel!” and Jesus is gonna be like “Who?”.

        Then Jesus pulls the creaky mechanical lever that opens a trap door in the clouds, sending Osteen’s soul plummeting down to its eternity of torment in Hell.

        Hey, I didn’t make the rules.

  • Joe Beese
    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      “Hurricane Harvy is worst storm in USA history. Nobody knows why storms are getting worser.” #DeletedTrumpTweets

  • Iron Monkey

    What the fuck is our debased standard here, Glenn Thrush? Is it that “it COULD be worse”?

    It is a bit closer to “he hasn’t fucked it up yet”.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    Has Alex Jones figured out that the rain was caused by the chemtrails Obama set off during Jade Helm yet?

  • lucidamente
    • msanthropesmr

      Can’t be Abbey road, not unless Jared is dead and they’ve replaced him with a stand in.

      • Nockular cavity

        “I buried Bannon.”

    • Indiepalin

      Leaving the Octopussy’s Garden.

    • ez

      I want to see the video when she steps onto that wet ground, both heels piece the turf and has to step out of them or remain stuck in place.

      • Anna Rompage

        A well trained escort, I mean “high fashion model”, knows how to keep their weight on the balls of their feet, and not get stuck…

        • ez

          Bummer!

      • Maggielle

        And he’s already striding ahead of her, so if her high fashion model stiletto-walkie’ training fails, he probably won’t even notice she’s stuck.

    • Ricky Gay

      Come together, over me!

      • lucidamente

        Gah.

    • weejee
      • Lance Thrustwell

        Those boots were not made for walkin’.

        • Joe Beese

          Beauty knows no pain.

          • Jeffery Campbell

            And pain, no beauty.

        • These boots were made for wading
          And that’s just what they’ll do
          One of these days these boots
          Are gonna wade through Harvey’s goo.

      • NastyBossetti

        Is this from Melania’s Instagram feed, to show that she does have sensible boots to change into on the plane?

    • msanthropesmr

      The fool on the hill.

      • yyyaz

        The eyes in his head see the world spinning ’round him.

    • Nockular cavity

      Really not appropriate inflatable-boat wear, Melania.

      • Joe Beese

        (puncture)
        (hiss)
        (burble burble…)

        • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

          Now we know that sex between those two sounds like. #ThanksJB

        • CeeQ

          Alright kids – everyone hold onto FLOTUS, her boobs will help us float down the street.

    • Joe Beese

      Donald is Jesus, of course. Ivanka, the one who preaches his gospel, is the minister. Melania is the deceased, her hopes for the future dead and buried.. And Jared adds gravedigger to his long list of other duties.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Nothing says disaster like “Trump”

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Money Lane…

  • Ricky Gay
  • Anna Rompage

    Yes Glen, I’m sure when Donad speaks about the flood, he will come across as a sane, compassionate man, who can empathize with the millions of people who will be severely effected by this storm, and not mention the mega patriotic Joe Arpio, the size of his rally crowds, and that gawd awful fake news main stream media…

  • weejee

    High heel waders aside, as the Bern says – we are one country.

    / places to send your Ameros

  • canes_pugnaces

    Glen ‘fucking/ Thrush, is one of the ‘Trump finally becomes presidenentialated’ crowd. Slathering, fucking obsequious asshole.

  • AGAIN: ARE THERE NO BREAD BAGS?!?

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
  • MynameisBlarney

    This has to fake news.
    I don’t see Al Gore ANYWHERE…

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BYUl65PgHTd/?taken-by=tank.sinatra

    • Lance Thrustwell

      That cat must be really interesting?

      • Joe Beese

        “Bill Clinton” and “pussy” meant instant ratings.

    • Joe Beese

      “Socks Clinton has no further statement to make about the dead bird found in the Rose Garden. All questions should be referred to his attorney.”

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Why, hello, Socks!

    • Ghenghis McCann

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6a6b3fc6af5c5e0216951ea1f80b92dcd012ecbc42e0ba4c3a79d6822e4bcb66.jpg
      There used to be a better class of White House Press Conference in those days.

    • CeeQ

      Socks Clinton will reveal his new tax reform pla…..SQUIRREL!!

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    Just guessing here but if you wear high heels into a damp lawn of grass, those heels will sink and you might fall down.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/babda59f9d2eef4511c514e7741d473471a78796b7d03f9a2527ecc7c0da5f21.gif

    • NastyBossetti

      It takes a concerted effort, but it can be done by walking on the balls of your feet. Someone who wears heels like that all the time will be fine.

      • BosGrl

        You’re probably right but those aren’t just heels, they are tent stakes.

        • Grokenstein

          Ker-chunk, ker-chunk, ker-chunk…

    • Joe Beese

      Who decided women falling off heels was Comedy Gold?

      You couldn’t go five minutes on Ally McBeal without that hoary shit.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Yes, but I will love Miss Congeniality forever.

    • Claire

      Instant ballet flats.

    • Covfefe

      My wife mentioned they were walking across the wet grass. I didn’t understand and what she was talking about. One more thing you learn on Wonkette.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Not to mention this: I was in the NC Floyd in 1999, and based on that experience I would NEVER wear my “good heels” into a flood zone. At least in NC, flood zones, especially in rural areas with farm waste runoff, smell like giant water treatment plants. Like most natural disaster areas, they are pretty fucking filthy. After Floyd, it took months for that soggy barnyard smell to go away.

    • CeeQ

      Yup. Every damn time I got to a wedding and strap on the heels.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    “Too bad Hurricane Harvy didn’t hit Arizona for electing so-called senators Flaky Flake and McObama.” #DeletedTrumpTweets

  • rocktonsam

    It is still raining down there are rescue efforts still going on, by civilians and this asshole has to go down there. Nobody said,” sir we might want to wait couple of days so they can at least put on dry clothes for your fucking dumb ass visit with the stiletto queen. ” damn it !

  • canes_pugnaces

    You laugh, but FEMA is now passing out these custom Ivanka ‘free’ flood waders in Houston; only $200 plus s&h:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/757043ac3e0337ab4d719037ede170004de1b55c910d6d0a0c11472eba4c1aa1.jpg

    • Joe Beese

      Make America Fierce Again

    • Seamus Romney

      These are definitely from the Ivanka collection as I recognize those as Jimmy Choo knock-offs.

  • coozledad

    They look like a couple of rubes heading into town to make an evening of bitching at a restaurant’s wait staff.

    • bbayliss

      And consuming quantities of covert body fluids provided by the staff.

  • Amelia Resists and Persists
    • MynameisBlarney

      That they keep saying that, clearly proves that it does not.

      • Amelia Resists and Persists

        And then 24 hours later, we’re back to “this was Trump’s worst week.”

        He’s become “presidential” like ten times and had twelve “worst weeks.”

  • Ellen D.
  • MynameisBlarney
  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Don’t mock Melodia for wearing stiletto heels before sitting next to Little Babby Donnie. According to Atomic Blonde, they are useful for self-defense.

    • LesBontemps

      If only she would use them, Charlize Theron-style. (I mean “with votes,” also too.)

  • Manders

    I think this has to be the first time anyone has described a Queens accent as “dulcet.”

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Ah yes, the dulcet tones of patting one’s self on the back for crowd attendance and hyping some fuckface’s wingnut book while people were losing their homes, and even lives. It’s like the music of angels!

  • OrG

    So sick of winning.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    “Worst flood ever in history. God chose me to be modern Predisent Noah” #DeletedTrumpTweets

    • DainBramage

      He should ship that useless Ark down from Kentucky.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        I bet that piece of shit doesn’t float.

        • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

          Trump or the ark?

          • Oblios_Cap

            Both?

  • BigCSouthside

    Trump will never “become presidential”. Never. He’s not capable of it.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba
  • Everrett Fanuelli

    So was Melania’s bikini in the shop?

  • SpudRaider

    Word of the day Dulcet…make sure to use it today to impress your friends!!! Examples:
    “It was pleasant to be woken by the dulcet barking dog in the middle of the night.”

    • Beautiful Soup

      The barking dog himself was awakened by the dulcet tones of the cat hacking up a furball.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Glenn hasn’t been paying attention, has he?

  • Joshua Norton

    Even when responding to a disaster he basically speaks in trite yearbook messages.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    What’s the over/under on how many times trump is going to flash the two thumbs up this trip?

    • Joe Beese

      The White House physician has cautioned him against RSI.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Number nine

      oops wrong thread

    • cmd resistor

      I hate it when he does that. I think he did it when asked, on the way to Camp David on Friday, what message he would have for the Texas residents, when he said, Good Luck.

      • leemoder

        Or “up yours”.

      • CripesAmighty

        Makes the whole white house look like a skeevy used car lot.
        Ugh.

  • Joe Beese

    Where is Chris Cilizza right now, anyway? Is he in his state-of-the-art Analyzing Chamber, working on his analysis?

    • leemoder

      Wondering how he can increase his Freidman Quotient.

  • Scooby

    Her heels are bigger than his dick.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Girth is about even though.

    • BosGrl

      They’re both dicks and they’re both heels.

  • Trump is going to say something disparaging about the Mexican relief workers… I can feel it.

    • georgiaburning

      He’ll mention his wall

      • WIDTAP

        He will spend most of his speech time talking about how he beat Hillary Clinton and that the Russian investigation is just librul jealousy.

      • OutOfOrbit

        the Wall could’ve prevented it

    • OrG

      You must be psychic.

    • Nasty Woman Persisted

      With a black mayor, a hispanic Police Chief and Sheriff, and most of the refugees lower income, I don’t think his photo shoot will be as good as he thinks.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Isn’t the mayor a lesbian, too?

  • Michael Smith

    I knew this would happen as soon as I knew the hurricane was going to be bad. Responding to a disaster is, theoretically, an even easier PR layup than condemning Nazis – particularly because Trump isn’t paranoid that people are going to blame him for the storm, and so he doesn’t feel the need to implicitly defend the storm or to blame liberals for the storm.

    If we really want to get him to trip over his own dick on this one, we should start screaming at him that global warming is causing these storms. Then he’ll slip up and say something like “You’ve got to make a choice between natural disasters and jobs.”

    I imagine, however, that he will eventually screw all of this up anyway by making many of the same mistakes Bush did – namely, find ways to screw black people and poor people out of getting the relief they need and that wealthier victims will be able to obtain with relative ease. I mean, the reason this happened with Bush was a mix of his ineptitude and the racism in his administration. So I’d expect Trump to be 10 times worse.

    • cmd resistor

      But that won’t cost him popularity points with his fans.

      • Michael Smith

        Yeah, you’re right. Just like it didn’t with Bush. Though with the benefit of 12 year hindsight, most people I’ve talked to will admit Bush screwed up Katrina. Whereas at the time, making that argument was met with accusations of race baiting.

        So it appears that maybe Republicans will admit some mistakes, but only after having moved on to an even more insane era of racism, xenophobia, militarism and paranoia.

    • OutOfOrbit

      the clean-up & rebuilding will [create] jerbs

  • Ωbjectifier

    dulcet

    Antonyms:
    acerb, acetous, acid, acidulated, acidulous, acrid, acrimonious, biting, bitter, caustic, cutting, harsh, irate, pungent, savage, sharp, sour, stinging, tart, vinegarish, virulent

    • cmd resistor

      That word should never be used describing Trump, even describing words he is reading.

  • cmd resistor

    I had just read that stupid article. Just amazingly stupid. And while I imagine Melania will change those shoes when she gets to TX (maybe), really?

    • MrTusks

      She vil nawt be zeen outzide in flahts!

      • PubOption

        I very rarely see women wearing heels in St Louis, in fact I probably see more goth types in Doc Martins boots.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    HUD is going to have a big part in rebuilding Houston. Chew on that for awhile.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Finally Houston will have the pyramids it needs to store all its grain!

    • Joe Beese
      • Ωbjectifier

        Oh fuck, he’s awake!

        • yyyaz

          That’s what he said.

      • Michael Smith

        “Losing everything will be a great way to teach the people of Houston that they need to depend on themselves.”

        • Oblios_Cap

          Bootstraps, bitches!

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Oh, he does have eyeballs. Huh.

    • Rick Hill

      “I can see no reason for the federal government to have more of a footpring in Houston than it already does.”
      -Ben “doing his master’s bidding” Carson

      • PubOption

        I thought that he would set up his headquarters in Rice University.

  • laughingnome

    (Glenn Thrush and Chris Cillizza) = a dull set

  • ariel_gee_398

    Charlie Brown with the god damned football. He’s never gonna let you kick it, media. Stop fucking trying. You’ll only fall on your ass and embarrass yourself.

    • Thiazin Red

      Who the hell keeps giving the media memory erasing drugs?

      Is there a website with a pivot count we can show them to help them remember?

      • MrTusks

        They didn’t forget. It’s a fucking teaser. “Tune in next hour to find out!”

  • Anna Rompage

    Something tells me he’s gonna be disappointed with the meager crowd turn out while in Houston, will get pissy, and launch into a crazy tirade within the next 24 hours…

    It also would not surprise me if he tries using his pardoning of Arpio as a way to boost moral for the folks on the ground…

    • Parakeetist

      Oh yeah.

    • He’ll probably try to pull rescue personnel off duty so he can stroke his ego with photo ops.

  • Joe Beese

    By the time the rain stops, Harvey will have dumped about 1 million gallons of water for every man, woman and child in southeastern Texas.

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/scientists-say-harvey-may-become-norm-future-storms

    • WIDTAP

      This is what comes of too much prayer.

  • Rick Hill

    Dulcet? I thought trump had the male version of the “get out of the kitchen” voice. Proof he may actually be the fabled Kumkwat Haagendasz.

    • puredog

      You misspelled “Cumtwat.”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    It was Glenn Thrush of the New York Times who wrote the offending article

    How bad can it be?

    Mr. Trump is behaving like a man whose future depends on getting this right

    Oh really?

    Donald Trump Praises Self, Punches Foes On Twitter, As Hurricane Harvey Bears Down On Texas

    Thought not…

    /FFS

  • Somersault

    I LOVE STILETTOS DON’T @ ME!!!1!1!

  • laughingnome

    As a practical matter, Melania’s record breaking stillettos will keep her above the flood waters.

    • elviouslyqueer

      I hope those are some sacrificial stilettos. Lord knows what all is in those floodwaters.

      • laughingnome

        A mixer of petrochemicals, feces, and plastic bags.

        • elviouslyqueer

          All of it, Katie!

        • Oblios_Cap

          It’s an environmental disaster on top of everything else. Thanks, Texas, for not regulating any shit at all.

        • therblig

          so, a metaphor for the trump administration?

    • Joe Beese

      50 inch stilettos? Now that’s fierce.

  • Oblios_Cap
    • NastyBossetti

      Pro tip: If you want to stay dry, don’t go somewhere with catastrophic flooding and where it is still raining.

    • Joe Beese

      I don’t care if this is a parody account. I know this is true.

    • exinkwretch

      Wrap him carefully in a couple of rolls of 20 mil plastic and don’t disturb him for at least 20 minutes — he’ll be dry as a bone!

    • Blackest Noobs

      maybe they ought to cancel the trip or just send a video feed to Texas…it would be the right thing to do….we must keep the President dry at all cost.

    • Walter Wellstone

      Maybe he should just, like, not go, right?

    • Seamus Romney

      His coiffe! Protect his presidential comb over at all costs!

    • Randy Riddle
      • AnnieGetYerFun

        OMG. That practically gives me a panic attack.

  • Joe Beese
    • BreakingDeadMen

      For every occasion

    • PubOption

      Donnie might manage half of that.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Oh Jesus fucking Christ:

    A storm that is ravaging low-lying areas gives Mr. Trump a chance to reclaim the presidential high ground. But many of those in the president’s orbit are worried Mr. Trump will not be self-controlled enough to maximize the moment.

    I’m sure that the people in Houston will keep them in their thoughts and prayers while they watch the flood waters rise…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1f114335372f3f335fe1b677e5a68f59b6c438dfeadf73d7d79aa55dee89cedc.jpg

    • Joe Beese

      Family of 5, now homeless, sitting on cots in a shelter, waiting for the next meal to be served. Father says “I hope Mr. Trump is self-controlled enough to maximize this moment.”

    • Moebym of the Returners

      The fact that you even have to mention that he lacks self-control means he is not and never will be presidential.

    • elviouslyqueer

      MAXIMIZE the moment?

      This is a fucking natural disaster, not a goddamn season finale.

      • Seamus Romney

        Potato, Potatah… – Don Trump

    • WeaselPoo

      Trump not being able to maximize a moment is certainly one of MY biggest worries!

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Melania’s still waiting for him to maximize a moment at least once.

    • Vincent Ricola

      I am amazed at how much I hate these terrible people.

  • Anna Rompage

    “As the extent of the projected devastation became apparent over the weekend during a meeting at Camp David, he shook his head in disbelief and compared the situation to problems he experienced when managing his family’s apartment buildings in New York,” the Times reported.

    Trump told one member of his staff: “Water damage is the worst”

    “Tough, tough, tough,” he added.

    Yes Donad, having a leaky roof on one of the slums your family owns is just like millions of homes being submerged under 10′ of water in the 4th largest city in the country…
    So much for his precedential moment…

    • Rick Hill

      He and others of his ilk, their first thought is how much it will cost and how they can capitalize on it. Bets there are folks who are just waiting to reinvent it the way they did New Orleans?

  • elviouslyqueer

    Just what Houston and SE Texas needs right now; a schlub and a slut on a disaster tourism outing.

    • Walter Wellstone

      Not an escort.

  • IdiotsforPalin

    Nothing says disaster relief netter than 6″ CFM heels……………

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Does she wear shoes like that all the time or just when she’s headed to deeply saturated soft ground… WTF?

      • IdiotsforPalin

        Those and thong underwear……….

        • Beanz&Berryz

          They complement her figure…

  • MynameisBlarney
    • beingreleased

      Will Trump mention the shark in his comments today in Corpus Christi, or will he tweet about it from the plane?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    “In a week or two, after something like this, people tend to forget about you,” said Joe McComb, the Republican mayor of Corpus Christi, which sustained less damage than nearby Rockport, Galveston and Houston. “Getting him down here is a way to make sure he’s making a commitment. He’ll see what happened for himself. He’s rough and gruff, but I think he’s got a good heart.”

    I can’t snark on the mayor for hoping against hope that Donald will prove to be competent and caring, but Jesus, what a letdown that guy is going to have…

    • Joe Beese

      He’s rough and gruff with his Afro puffs.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNqIJ3e0OJw

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      But who did that heart belong to and where did he bury it?

    • SayItWithWookies

      A commitment? This is the guy who thought that telling his Nazi followers “knock it off” one time was the end of the whole violent fanatical racist thing.

      • Rick Hill

        Only a few days after threatening to invade Venezuela

    • Rick Hill

      trump, on the plane back from Texas:
      “Such nice people, they really liked me. I think my vote there was yooge….I wish they wouldn’t complain so much. Rain rain rain. Anyway, that reminds me of something I need to keep on top of. Which of my courses will have clear weather this weekend?”

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Trump will show up, read on camera whatever blather his aides write for him, and then it’s off to whichever of his golf courses is nearest.

      • PubOption

        There are no Trump properties in Texas at the moment, his nearest golf courses would be in Florida or Virginia, I think.

      • puredog

        Where the entire course is now a water hazard.

  • Joe Beese
    • BreakingDeadMen

      Fuck

    • Oblios_Cap

      “Raindrops keep fallin’ on my head…”

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    Shorter Evan Hurst: “Just so you know, ‘dulcet’ is when I decided to kick your ass.”

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    Glenn Thrush headline, soon (hopefully): Impeachment and Psycho Ward Institutionalization Provide Trump Yet Another Chance to Resurrect Presidency

  • MynameisBlarney

    Fox just can’t fucking help themselves.
    Seriously, every last motherfucker gettin’ a paycheck there can fuck the fuck off.

    http://crooksandliars.com/2017/08/ainsley-earhardt-spins-baseless-hurricane

  • therblig

    just ask rudy giuliani how showing up propelled him to the presidency.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    So far, the storm has done little to diminish Mr. Trump’s propensity for muddying moments of presidential leadership by picking fights with the news media or his political opponents. On Monday, moments after gravely reading his tribute to national resolve and the spirit of emergency workers in Texas, Mr. Trump enthusiastically defended his decision to pardon Joe Arpaio, the former sheriff of Maricopa County, Ariz., as Hurricane Harvey made landfall on Friday.

    But this time is different, people around Mr. Trump insist.

    I’ve heard of battered person syndrome, but Jesus. Get help, Trump staffers!

  • Panika MCD

    I don’t think Gov. Wheels is going to let him anywhere near the coast. Wheels toured the area where Harvey made landfall yesterday because they aren’t flooded, but are truly most sincerely fucked and I doubt he’d do it twice in 2 days. he’s not allowed anywhere near Houston so he won’t be putting any Hispanic/African American/Chinese/Vietnamese kids in boats. for that I am thankful. I really hope that the only areas that flooded he’ll see are in Onion Creek–because of course they flooded–and maybe Bastrop Co.–they did also too. there’s going to be a small protest at the DPS building, but I’m going to go schedule Jazzy for some stuff and spread the word about other ways to help.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Trump will probably only visit Osteen’s church.

      • Panika MCD

        again, he’s not going anywhere near Houston.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        He’ll also be sure to check on the golf courses.

        “Damn! It’ll be hard to play with all that water!”

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Only confirmed stops so far are wherever FEMA set up their HQ and Corpus Christi. “Other stops” may be added or removed based on conditions on the ground.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        “Ground” being a difficult thing to define there right now…

      • Panika MCD

        it’s the State Office of Emergency Management and it’s in the DPS building. Corpus was one of the places Wheels visited yesterday, so I’d be surprised if he went back today, but he’s supposed to be with POTUS the whole time.

  • Anna Rompage

    At what point is Donad going to put Jared in charge of the rebuilding effort in Texas?

  • BreakingDeadMen

    The Dull Set:

    Donald, Ivanka, Donald Jr., Qusay (whatever the fuck his name is), Ivanka and Jered.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Eric, it’s Eric, it came to me finally. Fuck that guy.

  • Walter Wellstone

    $40 for that USA hat? No fucking way.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      It’s only $30 from the US Olympic committee…

    • Anna Rompage

      Isn’t there some rule about presidents being banned from making money off of their position as president?

      • DiegoVan

        Actually, there isn’t. If I am wrong. Post it on me.

  • laughingnome

    It will be interesting to see how Texas rebuilds without Mexicans.

    • Kooolest G

      tell us NY Times from 2006, how is this gonna go down?

      “About a quarter of the construction workers rebuilding New Orleans are illegal immigrants, who are getting lower pay, less medical care and less safety equipment than legal workers, according to a new study by professors at Tulane University and the University of California, Berkeley.

      These workers reported making an average of $6.50 an hour less than legal workers and had more trouble collecting their wages, the study said. While few workers reported run-ins with the police, it said, their employers sometimes threatened to have them deported if they complained about missing pay or dangerous working conditions.

      The study found that about 45 percent of the reconstruction workers are Hispanic, and at least two-thirds of them arrived after Hurricane Katrina struck the city.”

  • exinkwretch

    Donnie is going to have to call on every iota of his awesome presidentin’ abilities to reassure people who have lost their homes or loved ones that he’s the real victim here.

  • Blackest Noobs

    look!!! he’s pivoting to being presidential!!!!

    oooh sorry my bad….he isn’t pivoting…he’s still a shithead.

  • elviouslyqueer

    I’m sorry, y’all, but I can’t even begin with this bullshit. I endured enough helping my sister and her family survive Katrina while watching my beloved New Orleans almost get wiped off the planet. Seeing this motherfucker and his preening Prada-outfitted bimbo try and pretend that they’re compassionate and actually give two shits about people who are ACTUALLY suffering through this makes me physically sick.

    • Robyn Ryan

      What he said.

    • PubOption

      “You tzink I don’t suffer, why not you try walking on wet grount in zhese heels.”

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        IKR? It’s almost as if she’s never walked in stilettos on the ground before. Oh wait, she probably hasn’t. Never mind.

  • Moebym of the Returners

    I showed up wearing clothes. I’m so presidential! Praise me!

    • Randy Riddle

      There are rumors he put his own pants on this morning. But those are just rumors.

      • Moebym of the Returners

        “I’m a big kid now”

  • Walter Wellstone

    I’m hoping he’s going to make an ass of himself and I hope he pisses off people in the affected areas. I’m actually counting on it.

    • SayItWithWookies

      How could he not, short of being duct-taping to a bulkhead in Air Force One for the duration.

  • Pilotshark

    i see she has her come clean up pumps on.

    • beingreleased

      Well that isn’t nice. I’m not saying its wrong, but it definitely isn’t nice.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        When being nice would be being wrong.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Trump dissolving America into twelve petty, bickering feifdoms is when I expect him to really start being presidential.

    • P’jama Pahnts

      and winter is coming

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        Dude. Winter is HERE.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Bannon, Gorka, and Miller.

          White Walkers all.

          • AnnieGetYerFun

            PLEASE. Those White Walkers are fit, and have discipline.

      • PubOption

        The winter of our discontent?

  • Vincent Ricola

    I’ve had bowel movements that appeared more presidential and appropriately dressed to sincerely help flood victims than whatever is happening in that “POTUS” picture.

    • Wild Cat

      I’ve urinated more accurate opinions on sand than 99.9999% of the rancid NYT’s “reporters” and “thinkers.”
      It’s also more colorful, better designed, and vetted.

  • Rick Hill

    Reports of a levee breached in S Houston

    • Moebym of the Returners
      • Walter Wellstone

        Oh, shit.

      • NastyBossetti

        Jesus. That tweet is terrifying me, and I’m in PA. I hope most people who live nearby were already gone.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Addicks reservoir is also overtopping and about to break.

        https://twitter.com/HerzogWeather/status/902512319338614785

      • Villago Delenda Est

        This is not good news.

    • MynameisBlarney

      I heard on NPR this morning that several dams had been overtopped.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        I read yesterday that the Army Corps of Engineers was gonna open several dams to keep them from getting destroyed?

  • Ryan Denniston
  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Just how much evidence does it TAKE for some of these fucking drooling imbeciles in the media to realize that Trump is not presidential, will never BE presidential, is constitutionally incapable of ever being presidential – and is, in fact, the very antithesis of presidential?

    One can only assume that their “both sidesitis” is so chronically debilitating that they simply can’t help themselves.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    “The liberal American fake news media isn’t giving the President enough credit…”

    Just like all the banks in America.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Who wrote off Donnie as a shithead a quarter of a century ago, which is why he has to go to Russian who want to launder money for financing.

      • calliecallie

        So that means this mess we’re in is really Wall Street’s fault? That figures.

  • Blackest Noobs

    can we all just boycott the whole wearing a suit and baseball cap thing?
    it soooo fucking uncouth. let’s bring back decorum to at least our fashion sense.
    i mean for fuck sake it looks soooooo fucking stupid.

    STOP IT…Trumpians, STOP IT…sportos…..just fucking stop it!!!!

    • Vincent Ricola

      Nothing screams middle-management dude that rides his overpriced motorcycle on the weekends with his middle-management dude biker gang than a suit with a baseball cap.

    • jesterpunk
      • Blackest Noobs

        EXACTLY….jesus this shit isn’t that fucking difficult.

        you think someone who went to the (he didn’t really though) Wharton School of Business would know fucking better.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          You’re appealing to the wrong crowd…

          • Blackest Noobs

            it’s a crowd we shouldn’t be appealing too…in the long run, it won’t be worth appealing to the most uncouth, most dumb of us

    • NastyBossetti

      Also, is it just me, or are his baseball caps, like his suits, ill-fitting? I didn’t even know that was possible.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        When I visited the Baseball Hall of Fame I stopped at a shop where this UNBELIEVABLY professional woman custom fit me for an authentic like they wear on the field Mariners cap. She gave a tutorial on baseball cap care and upkeep at the same time.

        Donald’s cap probably has those plastic “one size fits all” sliders in the back.

        • marxalot

          I wear an on-field fitted A’s cap with literally everything up to and including my suits (which I buy off the rack but get dialed in by a tailor). I have my reasons, including sun exposure and personality. But dammit, all my gear fits.

      • SomeBigRedDog

        I don’t think the orange rodent underneath would allow a better fitting hat.

      • BigCSouthside

        There is one cut of cap that looks bad on literally everyone, and he picked it.

        I don’t know what that style is but every person who wears it looks ridiculous

        • NastyBossetti

          It’s the “very old man” model.

        • cmd resistor

          Except that it does cover up his stupid hair.

      • SDGeoff3

        They are designed to be worn under sheets.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        The cap fits well. It’s the head that’s misshapen.

      • Blackest Noobs

        you’re right….like how in the fuck does this guy have so much money but can’t for the life of him get a suit that actually fits him.

        it’s like he’s 12 fucking years old. shit my nephew at 12 wore a better a fucking suit and it was from JC fucking Penny’s

    • mardam422

      But…but Obama wore a brown suit!!!1

      • SDGeoff3

        Worse…light tan! Eeek!
        Pretty cool suit too.

        • Les Appentis De la résistance

          AFTER LABOR DAY!!!!

          • SDGeoff3

            Was it? Well no wonder.

    • Bananas Foster

      It gives the orange muskrat that lives on his head the day off.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Walter Wellstone
    • VirginiaWackelpudding

      It’s being thorough.

    • marxalot

      So much for Tex Ren Faire… that bit between Magnolia and Conroe is still gonna be soggy in October.

  • Joe Beese

    “We’re headed towards the day when Robert Mueller puts Donald Trump under oath, and Donald Trump’s history of testifying is to not be meticulously careful,” a somber Mark Halperin said.

    “I’m saying he’s going to put himself under a lot of peril under extraordinarily close questioning. If this report from NBC is correct and I’m sure it is, some day, the president is going to have to testify under oath, and it’s gonna be a very difficult ordeal.”

    http://crooksandliars.com/2017/08/mark-halperin-trump-will-be-lot-peril-when

    • Wild Cat

      All this judicial foreplay is starting to feel like a four-ply tire running over my soul . . .

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I can’t see Donald having a Jack Nicolson moment, mainly because he’s too stupid to be coherent about his “damn right I ordered the code red!”

    • La forza del resistino

      Donald’s first lie will be taking the oath.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        He did that on 20 January.

    • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

      Please let that day be sooner rather than later, please please please..

      • Bananas Foster

        I’m going to be so pissed if the Earth gets destroyed by an asteroid the day before his testimony begins.

        • Dudleydidwrong

          Maybe it’ll be the result of some minor deity’s poor aim. The deity will ask for a mulligan and Trump’s testimony will continue in an alternate universe.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Trump’s adolescent, exaggerated and dishonorable view of police and military authority might be attributed to over-compensation for his lack of physical courage and military service.

    Damn! Things are really fucked up when I find myself agreeing with Jennifer Rubin. Damn you, Trump!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I can’t disagree with her on this point, either. Just nod my head sagely.

      • Me not sure

        His lunacy has made her look positively sage.

    • Michael R

      She didn’t even have to say ” tiny penis “

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Paging Maureen Dowd. Maureen Dowd, there’s a call on line penis… I mean, on line 3.

    • Janae Bess

      Jennifer Rubin has been one of twitler’s harshest and outspoken critics.Not just his but the GOP who refuse to stand up to him. Believe it or not.

  • CountryClubJihadi
    • BigCSouthside

      There’s like 5 grand worth of just bags in that pic

      • VirginiaWackelpudding

        Those are so tacky. Expensive, yet incredibly cheap.

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          The leather is total crap. I don’t get it.

      • Michael R

        You can’t put a price on Melania ( she’s SOLD and there’s a contract )

    • PubOption
    • thewalkindude

      I first saw that as LL Bean boobs”…

      • Dudleydidwrong

        As in “down-filled, leftovers from dead birds”?

      • CountryClubJihadi

        Hers are probably made of the same fabric.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I have never understood the obsession with those bags for travel. They cost a bazillion dollars and are ugly.

  • Moebym of the Returners

    Looks like the good pastor Joel Osteen has finally deigned to open the doors of his mega church for flood victims.

    • Wild Cat

      I hope they don’t discover his stash of “Blue Balls” magazines.

    • Blackest Noobs

      that’s fine and all but it’s seriously after the fact….you don’t get points when you failed to do it from the get-go

      • Wild Cat

        Well, Osteen is a good Christian. Why the fuck would anyone expect him to help the weak and the poor? That’s for the fucking afterlife.

    • Oblios_Cap

      How much is he charging for admission?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        I would say this is a very cynical observation, but we are talking about Joel Osteen.

        • SDGeoff3

          Osteen is to religion what Trump is to the world.

      • therblig

        free, but making people leave their wet shoes outside. they just had the carpets cleaned.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Did he finally finish blocking everyone on Twitter?

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea
    • cmd resistor

      I was just thinking it was time to check in on that cat.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Rick Hill

      From what they are saying, that’s nothing if the damns give way.

      • therblig

        hotair article joe beese posted above, says that they’ll be releasing water from reservoirs into the city for months to come

  • Bright Bart

    well at least he’s wearing a windbreaker, cuz the secret service aint taking a bag of urine to the head for the conniver in chief. If they are even working anymore because of not getting paid.

  • Joshua Norton

    In announcing his trips, he used the dulcet, reassuring and uplifting language of prior presidents.

    Yeah, and I could throw on some scrubs & a stethoscope and look like a doctor, but you wouldn’t want to turn me loose in an OR.

    • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

      Nope – but I might be persuaded to accept you as emperor.

    • SDGeoff3

      We wouldn’t want you to operate, but it would be nice to see you.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Depends on how many happy drugs you would be able to get your hands on. Maybe you’re exactly who we need in the OR.

      • persistently_resistant_gayby

        I want happy drugs – gimme gimme

    • CeeQ

      That’s fine Glenn. If you ever help with your computer – come over to my house and my clueless ass will talk in a soft reassuring tone all you want about how you don’t really need all this tubes and wires. It’s just clutter. See how that works out.

  • MynameisBlarney

    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-41081629

    Addicks damn is now overspilling.

    It’s only going to get worse.

  • calliecallie

    I think someone got to Glenn.
    Hey, Glenn, if you’re reading this, and you need help, use the word “ubiquitous” in your next column.

  • calliecallie

    How does Melon even get across the White House lawn to the helicopter in those heels?

    • stumpknocker

      i’m sure you could too, if you had trump slithering behind you trying to grab your pussy.

      • calliecallie

        If ever I was in a position to have Trump slithering any where near me, I would definitely have on running shoes.

    • marxalot

      I know! If the turf is even a little damp, by all physical laws, she should be dug into the ground like a croquet hoop.

      • SDGeoff3

        That would be fun to see.

      • Joe Beese

        She doesn’t weigh much.

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      A ‘hero’ carries her.

    • Pat_Pending

      I suspect her feet haven’t touched actual soil in 25 years.

    • Bananas Foster

      AstroTurf?

  • Joe Beese

    As of 7:45 local time the Addicks dam had topped and water was flowing over the rim. Officials announced that they are opening the gates wider, so a lot of water is heading into the city. They further said that controlled releases will be taking place “for months” after the storm is over. This recovery is going to be going well into 2018.

    http://hotair.com/archives/2017/08/29/mornings-hurricane-harvey-news-doesnt-look-good/

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/85a5331fcc3775a83f9f2fb9e275d0744daf302b22ab2d4a82996a975a8b5cc3.png

  • Me not sure

    Al Gore needs to make his new movie free for a few days on all of the streaming services. It might change a few minds in light of this storm.

    • laughingnome

      Until the next snow storm in January in Michigan.

    • Wild Cat

      If you’re not aware of what’s going on by now, you’re in a death cult.

      They’re in a death cult.

      If only we could cut bait.

  • Joe Beese

    The invaluable Charles Pierce:

    When in the name of god has this president demonstrated the power to unify anything except division and anger? “Recapture” implies that he had it in the first place, or that he’s shown any indication that he ever wanted it. …

    This is more than mere deference to power. A lot of institutions are powerful but still subject to an aggressive press and a skeptical public. But the presidency has grown to the point where a failed president shakes the comfort zone down to its foundations. Too many people want a unifying Daddy in the White House so much that, if a president is not up to the job, those people will create that unifying Daddy out of shoddy material and wishful thinking.

    http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/news/a57257/trump-harvey-response-unity/

    • laughingnome

      This is exactly how religions are born.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Which is why Glenn Thrush should be voted onto a rocket ship to the sun.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    That Prezdential pole up donald’s ass must be polished smooth by now – all the spinning….

    • SDGeoff3

      So much spinning.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Pence trying to make people forget his heartless response to Hurricane Katrina.

    https://www.democraticunderground.com/10029528896

    • Joe Beese

      And “President Pence” is the best case scenario.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        Is Pence the “best case” similar to having a case of the clap rather than a case of syphillis?

  • La forza del resistino

    To help with the flooding she could have at least showed up with some pumps instead of stilletos

    • therblig

      or mules instead of an ass.

      • Wild Cat

        Or she can do that old straw trick she used to do at Hot Peppers for a few koruna.

        • La forza del resistino

          linkies? asking for a pervy friend

      • La forza del resistino

        the pre-nup stipulates she is stuck with the ass.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      ISWYDT

    • Sump pumps.

  • Rick Hill

    Anti trump, alt gov has been helping find people in need of rescue with twitter. Awesome people, they saw what happened in Katrina and realized the need for immediate responses and actions in finding survivors
    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/08/anti-trump-alt-gov-twitter-accounts-pitch-in-to-help-coast-guard-and-responders-rescue-hurricane-victims/

    • jesterpunk

      Is that the Deep State he keeps yelling about?

    • marxalot

      The Houston DSA has been mobilizing all week. Organizers orgnanize, it’s kind of a thing with them.

    • NastyBossetti

      I wonder if these people will let themselves be known after this administration is over. I’m really curious about them.

    • cmd resistor

      Wait, Wingut Bro posted a meme about how the rednecks are saving people in TX with trucks and boats, while the Antifa people are in CA destroying lives. So wise.

    • SweetDeeKat

      That is an incredible story.

  • II Gosala

    His Orangeness could start acting like George Washington today and it wouldn’t matter. He’s corrupt as hell and that isn’t flung to change.

    • marxalot

      What, beating slaves and killing dogs? Are we sure he doesn’t do that already? A man needs hobbies.

  • Anna Rompage

    Perhaps Glennforth Thrushington III would be the gallant man who is willing to lay down in a puddle and let the precedent, and the first whatever walk over him, so that they don’t have to get their shoes soiled & wet…

  • mardam422

    “It’s the biggest ever. They’re saying it’s the biggest ever. It’s historic. It’s like Texas. It’s really like Texas, if you think about it. But it is a historic amount of water,”
    If I uttered that in my 9th grade English class, Mrs. Brown would have slapped me silly.

    So presidential.

    • Joe Beese

      In conclusion, Texas is a land of contrasts.

    • cmd resistor

      As one who consistently got crappy grades on oral presentations, I think I could have done better than that one.

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        Funny, I’ve always gotten good grades on my oral presentations!

        • Rags

          We’ll be in my bunk.

  • SomeBigRedDog

    Those boots Trump in wearing have obviously never touched human feet before and he doesn’t appear to know how to walk in them.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      tiny feet…

  • SadDemInTex
    • Wild Cat

      Whitewater
      Judith Miller
      David Brooks
      Bill Kristol
      Ross Douthat
      William Safire
      Bret Stephens
      Emails Emails Emails

      Fuck them.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        With sharp, pointy, curare tipped votes

      • SadDemInTex

        Jeezusfuckingchristonacracker, I totally forgot about how they threw flames about Whitewater. I think many of us drank the coolaid many years ago that the NYT was a liberal paper. I think your list proves that was a big fucking lie. It has always been a bastion of white privilege.

      • Catstro

        Though Safire did provide The Onion with fodder for the article we reference most frequently in my household.

        http://www.theonion.com/article/william-safire-orders-two-whoppers-junior-3351

  • therblig

    “Good morning, Texas! As you know, I won bigly here. Lots and lots of electoral and popular votes. So don’t worry, things are gonna be great. So great. And don’t believe what the media tells you.” – DJT

    “Can vee leef thees vet, smelly peoples now, dahlink?” – Melon

  • bbayliss
  • Joe Beese

    Doesn’t Trump sort of need to fire Tillerson after yesterday’s comments, purely as a matter of discipline? Insisting that his boss speaks for himself while the administration speaks for the country in advancing American values is as close as a cabinet officer can get to describing his boss’s rhetoric as un-American. If Trump lets him slide, he’s telling the rest of the cabinet that they can badmouth him pretty much however they like and he’ll look the other way publicly so as not to have to endure a confirmation process for their successor.

    http://hotair.com/?p=4017928

  • thewalkindude

    That pic at the top of the article-Thurston Howell III and Lovey about to embark on a three hour tour…(I know, I know, LIBELZ!!!)

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    Harvey Gives Trump a Chance to Star in an Disaster-Action Movie Based on the Real Life Crash of Air Force One Due to A Stalled Hurricane. (with votes)

  • cmd resistor

    I also honestly think if they don’t totally screw things up, or if it turns out that the feds and FEMA do what is supposed to happen, it isn’t any thanks to anything Trump did. I didn’t realize that Congress passed a law in 2006 that made it a requirement that the FEMA head had 5 years experience in emergency management, for instance. So this guy has more qualifications than horse training Brownie. And I bet there are some Obama leftovers in the rank and file, also, too. Of course Trump will take credit for anything good and blame democrats or Antifa for everything bad.

    • Rags

      Thanks for that – I was completely puzzled as to how 4-5 had managed to place a competent person at the head of FEMA.

      • cmd resistor

        Now if they’d just do the same for other cabinet positions……..

        • Snopes Shop

          The president position

      • Snopes Shop

        I was wondering the exact same thing

  • Professor Fate

    Once again with this gibberish? I swear the thinking is got to be something like “but he’s a white guy! Like me! He’s gotta do better, he has to. Otherwise it’ll look bad for all of us untalented white hacks”
    And oh yes Imagine if Hillary was president and walked to the helicopter in sort of what Trump was wearing. You could hear the tut tutting from the moon i’d bet.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Fire ant flotillas.

    Yeah…

    That’s just fucking perfect.

    https://twitter.com/Mike_Hixenbaugh/status/901912379470077952/video/1

    • Joe Beese

      Way ahead of you.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      For me, this is proof enough that there is no god (or if there is, s/he is an asshole).

      • SweetDeeKat

        Swimming snakes were enough for me.

    • marxalot

      Oh, yeah, fire ants float. Lock together into rafts. Gasoline lies on top of water, though, which is Nature’s way of giving you a hint.

      • Well they are from South America where the jungle turns into a giant lake during the rainy season and you need boats to get around.

    • Am I wrong for taking pity on them? 😕

      • jesterpunk

        Fire ants are evil and hurt when they bite you, they also will bite you in groups for no reason at all because they are assholes.

        • Yes, but it’s their nature to do so. I have watched all the great Ant films (Ant Bully, Antz, A Bug’s Life) and have grown quite fond of the little creatures.
          But a bee did sting me yesterday for no good reason at all. Little fucker. 😣

        • writersbloc

          It’s not even the initial bite, it’s the blister that literally festers for an entire week and itches worse than poison ivy.

        • No, they’re biting you because you’re standing too close to them. Good news, jump into water and they’ll hop off

      • NastyBossetti

        Just make sure you do it from a distance.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Well…
        They are an invasive species and killing off the other, less evil native ant colonies.
        So yes.

        • “Invasive” is a human term (humans being the most invasive creatures of all). Animals know no borders, and don’t care how they ended up where they are.

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    Poor Trump. Compared to his tiny hands, everything seems the biggest.

  • “Kent, some people are still angry at President Bobo the Monkey’s initial response to Hurricane Georgia where he vigorously masturbated as aides tried to brief him on the situation. This only a few days after he flung his own feces at the ambassador for North Korea ratcheting up tensions there. What do you say now?”

    “Well, Dallas, it’s an entirely new President Bobo the Monkey here. As he surveyed the damage, he solemnly ate a banana and didn’t tear anyone’s face off or poop in his hand.”

    “Wow. He really seems to be growing into the office, Kent.”

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    Could you imaging this kind of praise heaped on Hillary if she’d won for sounding “Presidential”?
    FFS, it might as well be ‘Today, little Donald used the musical potty. The chimes played in dulcet tones as the little turds hit the target. Is this an indication that he’s finally potty trained?”

    • cmd resistor

      Girls can’t sound presidential because they are too shrill.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    But is there footage of Melania walking across the lawn? Because I would immediately sink to my ankles in mud. Mind you, she weighs maybe a third of what I do.

    • Slithytoves

      HA!

    • marxalot

      Spiked like a croquet hoop, I’m telling you. Hauling up huge divots of DC clay.

  • Slithytoves

    I really want to see a picture of her walking across the wet grass with those spikes. That’s one way of aerating the lawn.

    • natoslug

      I want to see her waving to Donnie as he is driven off to prison for the rest of his miserable life. Other than that, no interest in seeing her.

      • jesterpunk

        Will she be deported when he is thrown in jail?

        • Yes

        • MrTusks

          Her factory warranty is up, they won’t take her back.

          • jesterpunk

            Plus she has one of those anchor babies Trump is always complaining about foreigners using to get US citizenship.

      • lynchie

        She will be cheering and starting a wave leading the WH staff

  • david

    Eurotrash, fake FLOTUS, real illegal immigrant. Arrest her degenerate husband and deport her vile ars.

  • Crystalclear12

    You know. . . presidential is his trigger word to fuck up.
    I await the carnage

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    Glad he remebered the hat he’s been hawking. Every opportunity is an opportunity to grift.

    • Snopes Shop

      That’s horrific

      • clubseal

        But also, pretty goddamn brilliant on the part of the ants. Not that that helps the people of Houston, but I’ve always been fascinated by nature’s survival mechanisms.

        • Snopes Shop

          Is that #science?

          • clubseal

            I think science is illegal now, since Trump can’t understand it.

        • Rachel Book Harlot

          It truly is fascinating.

          • clubseal

            I know that they are different creatures, but it’s sad to me that ants work together better than people ever will.

    • MynameisBlarney

      https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DIZ0ZOfUMAIhIf8.jpg

      Nightmare fodder.
      Also, too; Kill it with fire.

      • Holy crap. Makes me even more thankful than ever that I live in the northeast. Oy.

    • BigCSouthside

      This is why flamethrowers were invented

    • TakingAmes

      Gawd, fire ants in floods are THE WORST. I was in NOLA for Georges, when our street flooded to waist deep, and everyone came out with these horrible ant bites.

  • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

    White polo shirt and khaki slacks, today huh? Know who else always wears the same color shirt and slacks every fucking day of the week?
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/17212c8ee9bad5479d25752e4441838bb06fb31497f332fdc13eefffabb84562.png WAAAAY more presidential!

  • Flashman

    This is a lot like Catholic pennance and absolution. Ten Hail Marys and ten Our Fathers and this motherfucker is “presidential” again.

  • Nasty Woman Persisted
    • Villago Delenda Est

      Nice Biden impression, Melania!

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Did she think she was being photographed for Vogue: Disaster Edition?

  • SweetDeeKat

    Has the Cheeto parade touched down yet? I have work to do and need a breather before the new wave of gasbag fuckery begins.

  • blaid droog

    I remember watching June Cleaver wearing pearls to do household chores as all cold war housewives did. So, it’s only fitting that melanoma wear stilleto heels to watch the plebes swim ’round in the flood waters. Maybe she’ll throw them some chum if they jump thru flaming hoops.

  • UnsaltedSinner
  • leota2

    This shit again.
    First his televised speech back in the winter was supposed to make him–presidential. Two days later he said Obama was hiding in his microwave, tapping his wires. Talking to the military was supposed to make him look presidential. Then he goes and kicks out the transgendered among them. . . . . And on and on and on and on.

    I got a ten year old pair of flip-flops that are more effing presidential.

    • lynchie

      I beat you my 16 year old black lab Kevin is more presidential and he has been dead for 2 years

  • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

    Can we officially end any sympathy for Melons and use one of those pics above as the official reason why? It’s fucking insane to wear those fuck me shoes to a natural disaster.

    PS: Love you, Michelle — and your sensible shoes (except when appropriate).

    • BigCSouthside

      She changed on the plane. Apparently now wearing a hat that says “flotus”

      • Walter Wellstone

        Flotation device?

        • Inflate implants to Elebeny!!!

          • eggs ackly-wright

            Like Paul’s grandfather said: “I bet you’re a good swimmer.”

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Also, she shouldn’t be making these kinds of faux-pas in the first damn place. Does this broad not have any assistants or stylists working in the WH to take those gotdamn shoes off!!! I dunno, maybe all the stylists are boycotting her and her WH assistants hate her, too. Still, my 70 year old parents could have told her that she looks crazy in those heels free of charge (which they regularly tell my sister who has a habit of wearing sky scrapers to Walmart).

  • Panika MCD

    Mexico is on the move–headed our way to inundate us with…donations and help! they were like, “I see 45 is going to TX today, might as well meet him there.”

    • Red Bird

      Ole!

      • Permit-holder Ron

        ‘With milk’?

  • Mike Larkin
    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Of course they did.

  • Rick Hill
    • Panika MCD

      they’re not here yet. they don’t touchdown until 2:25.

      • Rick Hill

        They’re in Corpus Christie

        • Panika MCD

          saw that. they’re live on KXAN right now. fuckers. he looks confused.

          • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

            I’m convinced a Slinky confuses him.

          • Permit-holder Ron

            ‘How does it know which way to go on the stairs?’

        • Panika MCD

          they have 100 visual aids for him.

    • He looks like a grouchy old imbecilic grandpa. ‘Noma looks like his gold-digging caregiver.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        She’s mad that he’s still alive and kicking…

        • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

          As are we all.

    • Walter Wellstone

      Shit, can we have Harvey back?

    • BigCSouthside

      I wonder if they do that because it’s the closest they can get to crowns

    • MynameisBlarney
  • lynchie

    I heard on the internet that melancholia’s stilletos are actually floation devices. Trumpie has chosen a pair of boots previously worn by Michael Fox in Back to the Future.
    What a couple of senseless idiots. Even more frightening no one in the WH has the brains to suggest they dress more appropriately. I wonder who is going to hold their umbrellas. A couple of inches of water on trumpies doo would make for a frightening sight. Like a cat shoved under a kitchen fawcett

  • Panika MCD
  • Carpe Vagenda

    Not a day passes that the Times doesn’t find some way to remind me that it’s an organization run by the nephews of the eldest sons of people who once ran a newspaper.

  • exinkwretch

    Tough job for the network pool reporters today. How do you distinguish Trump from the millions of other turds floating in the floodwaters?

  • Manhattan123

    Whoever the poor sap is charged with dragging devastated flood victims and weary cops and rescue workers off their missions so they can be part of Trump’s sleazy photo-ops today better have his shit together. He fired the guy responsible for the anemic crowd at the Phoenix mini-Nuremberg rally. Trump being seen “in action” is more important than anything else today.

  • Panika MCD
    • Red Bird

      Buffal Bayou is really a river. No one should be surprised.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        I lived for a few months near Braes Bayou, and one weekend it did the Friday-to-Saturday transition while I lived there… That made a big impression on me… And these pics, with the Sunday transition, are unbelievable…

        I meant to ask before, but reports are of 10s of tousands of people being displaced… The flood shots make it look like it would be 100s of thousands…or… is the flooding much more localized than it seems… relatively speaking… How many folks’ home are subject to flooding?

        And, evacuating 6.5 million people to, who knows where, in addition to trapping them on flooding freeways, leaves them all displaced with no destination… And if 5-6 million of them are OK where they are, keeping them off the freeways makes all the sense…

        • Red Bird

          Right now 10s of thousands but I’m sure it will be higher by the end of the week.

  • Thrush

    An infection in which the fungus Candida albicans accumulates in the mouth and causes you to irrationally worship Hoofwanking Bunglecunts
    https://i.pinimg.com/originals/b6/31/20/b6312043aff7d6ac0caba8ea4783216f.gif

  • mailman27

    He talks like the president of the sixth grade class. Jesus, Joseph & Mary.

  • La forza del resistino

    HUD Sec Ben Carson lands in TX to lend help, but departs soon after to go find his luggage

    • I was watching “Stuck on You” the other night with my boyfriend, and when the scene with the brain surgeon came on I told my boyfriend “wow -that guy looks like [expletive deleted] Ben Carson!”
      Because it was. He played the same dull somnambulist he is in real life. It actually worked in the film because his dullness came off as dry humor.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        As opposed to just a lack of cognitive engagement.

  • Nasty Woman Persisted
  • La forza del resistino

    Donald’s only contribution to TX flooding relief will be to say ‘all options are on the table’ as the table floats away.

  • La forza del resistino

    Melon has a FLOTUS cap. $40, available at Trump2020 Inc.

  • paxpax

    Amen

  • Anna Rompage

    Maybe Sleepy Ben could use some of that HUD money to build pyramids outside of Houston to store grains in…

    • NotDarkYet

      Oh, thanks for reminding me that guy exists! Where is he? When was he last seen? Has anyone checked that Ben isn’t asleep under a desk somewhere in need of rescue?

  • Mavenmaven

    They almost make Jared’s yuppie military fatigues look good.

    • OFFS.

    • Anna Rompage

      Is it just me, or do these nutty conspiracy tech folks all look like they still live in their mom’s basement….

    • Lil’Evil

      His idiocy has been on full display for some time. Is he has indeed immigrated we are glad to get rid of him.

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person
  • Dave Shield

    Lawdy.

  • Laffing Crow

    This.

    Guys, guys, settle down. Melania brought a change of shoes. pic.twitter.com/cqBGjR9tXb— shauna (@goldengateblond) August 29, 2017

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Ivanka will rip off that design by this afternoon…

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      And the winner is … !

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Oh my god, I laughed so hard at this. Hilarious!

    • motocat

      She did! When she got there she was wearing white sneakers.

      • differentdrummer

        New white sneakers, those’ll be one wearing only in that water.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Daisy Duck Libelz

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Sorry Glenn, we only say this because we care and because we know you’re capable of so much more. We long ago gave up on Cillizza and Dowd and especially Chuckles the Toad for being the VSP hacks that they are. But we know that you can normally be an outstanding reporter and that you’re better than this. So don’t be angry that mommy and daddy are treating you so much more harshly than we are your brothers and sisters the other villagers, we just appreciate your potential and want to see you make the most of yourself. So don’t take it personally and be angry, but you’re grounded for the next two weeks…

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    “…when he equated the actions of leftist protesters in Charlottesville, Va., with the violent, torch-wielding alt-right activists who hurled anti-Semitic and racist epithets.”
    AND MURDERED SOMEONE!

    FIFY Cilliza.

  • Mavenmaven

    Of course Trump went down there, he’s already contemplating how much money he can make when the rebuilding starts.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    We all knew there had to be one. Here it is.
    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/263746662978166785

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      there always is.

  • x111e7thst

    He makes a rain slicker and a pair of chinos look ill fitting and uncomfortable. How do you do that?

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Cuz he just covered his dick with the slicker…

  • Rags

    I want to turn on the weather channel to check up on Houston but I’m afraid all I will get is 4-5 scouting new development opportunities.

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • clubseal

      “Thomas Llamas”
      If he takes off his mask, he’s a cartoon character underneath

      • BreakingDeadMen

        Matryoshka libelz

    • differentdrummer

      I’m so old I remember after Katrina when black folks “looted” groceries and white folks “found” them.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Every scrap of that food is going to be landfilled, most likely as hazardous waste. What kind of miserable little fucker would drag first responders away from, you know, first responding to save garbage from starving people?

  • aureolaborealis

    He’s just jelly because there’s a bigger disaster out there than he is.

    • GoutMachine

      I dunno. I don’t want to minimize the suffering that’s happening in Houston, but when all is said and done, I think more lives will be ruined or ended by Drumpf.

  • SadDemInTex
  • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

    Just read a few comments on a NYT article about Harvey. It would appear that Sandy storm victims are bitter (so surprising!) and give zero fucks about Texas. Sorry, Texas, but what goes around …

    We’re gonna give some Ameros to a Houston area food bank, for a start.

    • SadDemInTex

      I am someone who lives in Texas and I take exception to that attitude. The people of Texas did not refuse to give aid. Like many people who live here I gave $$$ for Sandy relief. I had friends whose houses were right in the thick of it and it was horrible. But it is not the fault of the human beings in Houston that the insurance companies fucked (over and over) the victims of Sandy. I have given $$ for Harvey relief and I will give more.

      • differentdrummer

        I do not hold you personally responsible for the 23 Reps and 2 Senators who voted against the federal aid package for Sandy. I’m sure you personally did what you could to diselect them. <3

      • Dg Hacket

        No, it’s the fault of a majority of voters in TX electing the scum of the earth as their representatives

        • ahughes798

          Constantly! Each one worse than the previous one. I feel horrible for the families and friends of the people who died. I hope they can find peace, and take solace from their higher power, if they have one. And my friend Noel(who I haven’t heard from) who lives in Houston. But that’s it. Any Texans who voted for these scum Republicans who are now walking around with their hands out for that evil gub’mint money, can go Jade Helm themselves.Wonder how they feel about FEMA now?

        • SadDemInTex

          Noooooooo, the percentage of eligible voters who voted in the Cruz election was somewhere in the low 40s (and it might have been less) because of apathy (a lot of Dems were feeling pretty hopeless that year) and also preventing PoC from voting (id laws were already in place). About 22% of eligible voters voted for Cruz. Cornyn basically had no one running against him. And even in 2016 the turnout of PoC/elderly and others was actively discouraged. I was registering voters and active. I don’t think Texas is blue by any means but there are many more here who abhor Cruz than you know. I think he will be primaried out of his re-election. Cornyn hates him. And the vote for Hillary was quite a lot for a state that was supposedly so red with biased id laws and difficulty for voting for PoC and others.

          • Dg Hacket

            Yeah, well, I’m still angry

          • SadDemInTex

            Sure you can be angry…but don’t blame us in a lump. We are not the insurance companies, we are not the goblins in Cruz, Cornyn, and the other creeps who voted against the relief’s heads. But I agree “if you are not outraged, you are not paying attention”.

          • NellCote71

            Don’t forget the gerrymandering, which has become a game of whack-a-mole with the courts. The courts strike down one set of gerrymandered districts, Texas appeals, and meanwhile someone brings to light another example of gerrymandered districts. Whack! The circle of life in Texas.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        If I was you I’d be pissed at my attitude, too. It is definitely my lesser angels speaking. I won’t even defend it by saying my heart and will are so broken by what’s going on in this once fine land that my humanity is hiding and weakly sobbing in the closet.

        Rather, I count on others to carry the ball until, once again, my humanity exceeds my anger.

        Watching the video the other day of a group of wannabe nazis beating a young black man in the Cville parking garage, ground which I have traversed a thousand times, was kinda the last straw.

        Peace, friend.

        PS: Could you guys please try to relieve us of the human stain that is Ted Cruz? Thank you very much.

        • SadDemInTex

          I think Cruz is going to be primaried by his own party. If he isn’t and he is re-elected i don’t know what I can do. I can’t really leave here for at least another 9 years. And if he is re-elected then there is some major rat-fuckery going on with the voting machines as well as id laws. I really don’t think the Rethugs here are in his camp any more. I kinda wish Abbott would run for Senator just so we could get him away from being the Governor. We don’t have a viable candidate for the the Dems for Governor. It is absolutely insane. The Castro brothers are playing a long game (POTUS) and don’t want to be hurt by losing the gov race. I just want to scream sometimes…when I moved here Ann Richards was Governor.

  • NotDarkYet

    Stiletto heels come in handy when you have to pick axe your way out of your attic refuge.

    She’s prepared!

    • Me not sure

      She emerged from AF1 wearing a FLOTUS ball cap, for God’s sake.

      • NotDarkYet

        Yup, nothing says I’m ready to face disaster than a cap reminding other people of who you are!

      • jodyleek

        Well, to be fair, a lot of people think Ivanka is the FLOTUS.

        • Made in China.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          The cap is a reminder to Trump.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • Poly_Ester

    Who knew “incomplete dufus” was high praise?

  • UnsaltedSinner
    • susan_g

      “Hurricane is good luck for Obama again,” Trump tweeted on Oct. 30,
      2012 — the day after the remnants of Sandy made landfall in New Jersey.
      “[H]e will buy the election by handing out billions of dollars.”

  • Me not sure

    The headline at HuffPo is ” Trump touches down in disaster zone”. They need to be more specific.

  • Today was the day Glenn Thrush and Maggie Haberman finally became president

  • Notreelyhelping

    “Don…you is a president now.”
    “Youuge! Fake news! Wall, wall, wall! Real Americans! Sad!”
    “Nevermind.”

  • BreakingDeadMen

    In lieu of the Bastille or Frankenstein’s Castle, what do we storm? The White House, but he doesn’t value that and never seems to be there anyway. Trump Tower? Mar a Lago

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Houston…

      • BreakingDeadMen

        They have too much storm as it is

        • Beanz&Berryz

          My attempt at levity crashed badly…

          • BreakingDeadMen

            When the Levity Breaks

          • Invisible Bunyip

            Isn’t a levity those things they build along rivers, like in the song “Drove my Chevy to the levity but the levity was dry?”

            Wonkette has dry levity, the driest levity anywhere.

          • BreakingDeadMen

            It’s a hot dry.

    • Grokenstein

      The golf course, a’doy. The Secret Service will be busy trying to score some food by the service entrance of the clubhouse.

  • Giachino Sarconi

    Nice outfit Donnie you going to a clan meeting after.

  • Regarding the stupid hats, my theory is that any time his follicular engineer is not available or does not have the requisite 2 hours to craft the monstrosity atop Trump’s head, that’s when he breaks out the silly hat.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Hah! I think you are probably right!

    • Jamoche

      When he first started wearing the maga hat, there were reports it was because he couldn’t stand his hair moving during outdoor rallies.

  • lucidamente

    The happy couple landing in Texas. Is Melania wearing that cap so he’ll remember who she is? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d0a3bbbe0c13f9f581295c1db83e1a2684d762c40ce589df676f369e85877b32.jpg

  • goonemeritus

    This is Trump’s big chance to redefine his Presidency. With a disciplined message and non-patronizing display of compassion he may go from being perceived as an dangerous lunatic to being seen as merely a national embarrassment.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      DARE TO DREAM

    • BreakingDeadMen

      The Audacity of a Dope

    • Reddishrabbit

      And if he fucks it up, he can always try again with a war with North Korea.

    • kaydenpat

      Naw. This is Trump we’re talking about. Not gonna happen. Your use of the word “compassion” gives it all away. He has no empathy for anyone but Trump.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    Anyone remember how much shit Anderson Cooper caught for wearing pressed chinos or some shit while reporting from Katrina?
    Over/under on anyone at faux news making even a peep about Melon’s ridiculous choice of footwear?

  • whitroth

    Or maybe there’ll be an Act of God ™, and the chopper will crash, with only one fatality….

  • BreakingDeadMen

    Absolutely Sweet Marie Antoinette

  • The Librarian

    Wtf, Glenn?! The Trumpass actually stated that he expected that his pardoning of Sheriff A-hole during Harvey should have garnered bigger ratings!!!! That alone gives Trump a big fat “nuh, uh, that’s not presidential, not now, not ever”. smh

  • lucidamente
    • GoutMachine

      Someone give this man a Pulitzer.

      • NellCote71

        But, nooo. They were too busy giving it to Ms. Peggy Drunkbynooning.

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    Thats OK, once you use the word dulcet in print outside of a comic book, you are officially Done For The Day.

    • Dutchman

      Unless you’re a music major.

      • Dutchman

        And with that not comment we have reached 666 for the day. Seems apropos somehow.

    • foiled again

      La Dolce Fuckface

  • Dutchman

    “What a crowd, what a turnout”.

    What a moron.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O24vxjf9q1E

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      I hate that fucker.

    • freakishlypersistent

      Man, called it! They’re not there for YOU, fuckwit..gahhhhhh..ohmyfuckinggod.

    • kaydenpat

      Even in a literal disaster, Trump must talk about crowd size. He’s definitely overcompensating for something.

      • HooverVilles

        What could it be?
        Hmmmm,
        What could it be?

    • tehbaddr

      Fuck him with the rustiest chain saw of votes!

    • Cat Cafe of the Subpoenas

      AND HE’S NOT EVEN IN HOUSTON FFS

  • Johnatx

    Fuck Glenn Thrush with cancelled subscriptions. What is wrong with the New York Times?

    • freakishlypersistent

      Librul.

      • Peg Johnson

        Moron

  • Relativicus

    I believe he sincerely takes the amount of rainfall from Harvey as a personal achievement and/or compliment from nature.

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    This made me cry:

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/furniture-stores-turned-into-shelters_us_59a57622e4b0446b3b867b49?ncid=inblnkushpmg00000009

    Houston Businessman Turns His Furniture Stores Into Storm Shelters

    Fuck you, Joel Olsteen.

    • Yellerduck

      Yes, Mattress Mack’s a good guy. Came to Houston with nothing and set up shop under a tent. His early commercials were so tacky and desperate they became a late-night cult favorite in Houston and his business took off. For example: https://youtu.be/lhuIPJGViQ0

  • freakishlypersistent

    Reclaim power to unify??! When, when has this divisive fuck ever “unified?” When he was demanding Obama’s birth certificate? When he descended down the vulgar brass escalator in his vulgar brass tower and called all Mexicans racists and drug dealers? When he banned Muslims from travelling to the U.S.? The “Carnage” inauguration? Childish bullying nicknames for his political opponents? Inviting Bill Clinton’s sexual picadillos to his wife’s debate? When, pundits, when? This is YOUR fault.

    • kaydenpat

      That’s what is so unbelievable about Thrush’s article. Trump has NEVER been interested in unifying this country. Not before or after he started running for President. Who is Thrush fooling?

      • Stulexington

        Himself.

  • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

    That broad needs a costume change to go to a disaster zone? Jez, these people.

  • IdiotsforPalin

    John Harwood ✔ @JohnJHarwood
    Trump to a few hundred Texans after disaster-relief briefing: “What a crowd. What a turn out”

    • kaydenpat

      Idiot. We literally have an idiot in the White House with his orange fingers way too near to the nuclear button.

    • Perkniticky

      Ooh, maybe he can have his next rally in a shelter. Captive audience.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Jared to his father-in-law: Next year at Auschwitz.

  • cosmiccowgirl

    So say we all.

  • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

    OT: Fuck Anthem. I keep getting emails and paper mails from them about this and that bullshit when they’re pulling out of the private market in my state at the end of the year.

    Just fuck off, already, and quit bothering me.

    • SeeTrain65

      Remember that story a few days ago about the last county in the country — Portage County, Ohio — finally getting a ACA provider?

      When Anthem pulls out, there are many other counties in Ohio and other states who suddenly will be right where they were. This administration is meant to do maximum damage in a minimum of time.

  • Dutchman
    • Grokenstein

      I wish stupid burned. Then maybe there wouldn’t be so much of it.

    • subatomic

      OK, these people are clearly ignorant morans, but they are clearly getting their bullshit from the same stall. Where is this coming from?

      • sneakerup

        Russian bots.

      • Dutchman

        Dunno, it’s a screen grab Ms. Dutchman passed my way.

      • kaydenpat

        Russian bots? Wikileaks?

        • Cat Cafe of the Subpoenas

          Pretty sure these are all Russian bots. TWITTER COULD DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS BUT REFUSES TO ARGHHHH

      • SeeTrain65

        Fox News, Breitbart, WND, InfoWars … you name it, that’s where they’re getting it.

  • Yellerduck

    You see this thumb? Finally got it out of my ass. I have the best thumbs.

    • Grokenstein

      PRESIDENTIAL!!

  • Jamoche

    Trump told one member of his staff: “Water damage is the worst”

    Translated: “Sure, you can cover it up and keep renting to the people who were already living there, but then they move out and the next tenants insist on an inspection, and next thing you know they’re condemned.”

    Why yes, that did happen to me and my mom in the last place we lived in Texas. I moved to CA, she moved out, the apartments begged her to come back with a huge rent decrease – because technically it had been “unrentable” for over five of the years we’d been there.

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/08/tough-tough-tough-trump-compares-hurricane-to-his-apartment-buildings-because-water-damage-is-the-worst/?comments=disqus

  • gallbladder

    Because nothing says “tough and sensitive” like having Schwarzenegger in stilettos stand beside you while you give the thumb-ups before boarding a plane to a disaster zone with a baseball cap emblazoned with your number. Think I’m joking?:

    http://2d0yaz2jiom3c6vy7e7e5svk.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/Trump-Hurricane-Texas-800×430.png

    • OrdinaryJoe

      “Schwarzenegger in stilettos.” Genius. LOLOLOLOLOLOL

      • Stulexington

        Except she’s not Schwarzenegger she’s not, she’s from Russia so that makes her Dolph Lundgren.

        • gallbladder

          I was angling for that overcooked tough-guy aspect she’s channeling.

    • Nice Hurricane Sympathy Outfit…lookin’ snappy there…

  • Oh Well

    Amen!

  • Portia McGonagal

    Yep. Definitely a raging case of Cillizitis. Easier for Samwell Tarly to cure greyscale ( yup it’s a Game of Thrones joke..shutup I’m still enjoying the finale thankyouverymuch) than to cure Cillizitis.

  • phillyboy

    BRAVO.

  • SullivanSt

    Read it this morning. Had to re-read it now that Glenn Thrush tweeted it (and Editrix retweeted him). Totally worth it.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    You deserve a historic amount of water in the face.

  • kaydenpat

    Thrush isn’t a journalist worth his salt. We can now pretty much disregard anything he has to say about Trump since it’s obvious that he’s delusional enough to think that Trump can be presidential despite evidence to the contrary.

  • Phallus_of_JehovAh

    Note that under the jacket he’s wearing a white polo with his khakis. Same thing the Hitler Youth apparently wore at their little bonfire in Charlottesville. Is he signalling those yahoos?

    • Cornelius Fussbudget

      Interesting connection, but maybe the Nazis were imitating Trump in the first place?

      https://thegolfnewsnet.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/donald-trump-puerto-rico.jpg

      • Jesse

        By being fat, stupid and lazy? Maybe.

        • TundraGrifter

          He’s got the Herman Goering body going. Bigly.

      • Wtf is up with his thumb?

    • Cat Cafe of the Subpoenas

      Pretty sure they were imitating him.

    • Jukesgrrl

      He’s not smart enough. But maybe his butler is. (Does he still have that Fascist butler?)

  • Jesse

    I propose a surprise ‘ice bucket challenge’ to anyone who uses words like pivot, presidential, unify, or anything along those lines in referring to trump.

    It’ll be convenient to be able to tell which journalists are worth paying attention to based on their moisture content.

  • Invidosa

    Nothing like a legitimate fucking tragedy to make a president look like a president.

    Dear press, quit giving this fucked the time of day when there are real human hero types actually DOING STUFF TO SAVE PEOPLE.

    • Shaydee

      Legitimate fucking tragedy … visiting a legitimate fucking tragedy.

  • “Melania Trump’s office is pushing back after the first lady ignited some controversy by emerging for her visit to hurricane-stricken Texas in a pair of stiletto heels.
    “It’s sad that we have an active and ongoing natural disaster in Texas, and people are worried about her shoes,” the First Lady’s spokesperson told Fortune.”

    What’s SAD is taking time out from the Texas disaster to defend an ex-tittie-model turned FLOTUS.

    • Perkniticky

      What’s sad is that the first lady’s spokespeople think that people are not going to worry about eveything she does. Were they not paying attention during the past 8 years? Or do they think the white immigrant should get special treatment?

      • Regardless of what Noma wears, her eyes always flash like a neon Vacancy sign.

        • Shaydee

          Slit-eyed Slov…

    • What’s sad is that she’s dumb enough to wear stilettos to a flood area.

      • SilBot64

        She was probably assured they would not set foot in actual floodwater.

    • ltmcdies

      I am going to point out again…dumbass, that those shoes were an unsafe choice for any FLOTUS to have to navigate wet cement and soggy grass.

      grow a fucking brain.

  • DonnaDiva

    They’re just not going to give up hope Trump will somehow straighten up and become their commanding GOP War Daddy. It’s literally all they have, otherwise they have to admit they whiffed 2016 election coverage and helped a dangerous madman get elected.

  • eztempo
    • TundraGrifter

      Like they had someplace else to go – and a way to get there?

    • Ducksworthy

      “So glad you’re all still trapped here to see me.”

    • No. He did not say that while he was directly interfering in rescue efforts. Please he did not say that

      • Jukesgrrl

        I thought it was a joke, too. But no.

      • doktorzoom

        If it helps any, he was miles away in Corpus Cristi… or maybe this was Austin. He didn’t actually go to Houston, at least.

        Or mention anyone who died or lost everything, either.

    • HooverVilles

      Is this for realz?
      Did he really say that?

      • Hazel Blumberg

        I read that he did. But perhaps I’m mistaken. he also talked about his big win in Texas. And yes, about the yuge crowds. Bigly. And of course he fired some guy for allowing photos to surface that showed how empty the AZ rally site was.

  • Perkniticky

    I couldn’t even get past “a maelstrom not of his own making” without bursting into laughter. This was supposed to be positive spin? You’re doing it wrong, Glenn!

  • Back in the day, we would have called Noma’s pants “floods,” or “high-waters.” Perhaps the FLOUTITS was just being ironic.

  • From that picture it sure looks like she had to walk across a stretch of wet lawn to get to Marine One. How did she do it with those heels?? Did the SS carry her, after they carried Donny??

    • Ducksworthy

      It takes four beefy SS Kommandos to carry Donnie.

      • Hazel Blumberg

        Make that about a dozen.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Who wears 5″ stiletto heels to visit a disaster site? Those are Fuck Me shoes, not “I’m so sorry 30,000 people are homeless” shoes.

    • April

      Because flats are for peasants. .

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Apparently nobody told Princess Diana about that, because she always wore flats or low heels. But that was the 90’s, it was a different world.

        • Hazel Blumberg

          No, I think that melanoma is as stupid and shallow as her spouse.

  • guest
  • River CitySlicker

    Let zem eet cake.

  • William
  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Trump visits Hiroshima: “You know that was an epic explosion, believe me. I can tell you it was historic! And what a turn-out we have today! Like my hat?”

    • William

      Trump visits almost anywhere. “I could shoot myself right on fifth avenue and nobody would give a shit”

  • William
  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    “I’m donating my presidential salary this year to the flood victims” would be presidential.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      “I’m going to shut my dulcet pie hole for a second and stop trying to sell hats off of other peoples’ misery” would be even more Presidential.

      But now we’re just kidding around. Glenn Thrush to the contrary notwithstanding, Presidential is something he will never be.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        A dog wearing a dunce cap would be more presidential.

    • He’s already donated his salary to like 5 charities.

      • Hazel Blumberg

        And you can bet that not a single one of the charities has ever seen his “donation.”

  • Moar Wordz

    Glenn Thrush lost me at ” dulcet.” If there were ever a word that DOESN’T describe Trump, it’s dulcet.
    That kind of saccharine patriotic spin went out with the pro-ally promotional films during WWII.

    • SeeTrain65

      Maybe Glenn meant “dull set,” as in “Trump’s brain contains a dull set of atrophied synapses that rarely, if ever, fire.”

  • Poly_Ester

    Did the prez carry Melon to Marine One so she wouldn’t wreck her shoes? If he did that would be the most prezidental thing he has done.

    • Jukesgrrl

      AS IF!

  • What fucking president goes to a city DURING a disaster to “tour” Glen?
    No president. No president does that. No president goes until rescue is done and recovery is underway because THEY ARE IN THE FUCKING WAY AND DETRACTING FROM LIFE SAVING.
    Hope that helps, Glen!

    • Jukesgrrl

      The Tea Party criticized Obama with a vengeance for not having himself dropped onto Sandy ground zero (even though they didn’t care a whit about Hurricane Blue State). He politely explained he didn’t want to interfere with life-saving efforts. But they weren’t satisfied. So he paid them back by kissing Chris Christie and giving him blah cooties. What a sense of humor that guy has!

  • persistently_resistant_gayby

    Coming from the man who still DOESN’T ADMIT that his irresponsible coverage of Hillary’s emails was the reason for this ShitShow – The Presidency, I’m not 100% surprised.

    They can go take a very long hike to Fuckoffistan.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      If we could comment here, my comment to him would end with “Fuck you muchly”…

  • William

    Can somebody else please build a meme of Cheeto-Dummy and Moronia crossing the road, and dub in Abby road and the Beatles? I’m kind of tired.

  • mary5920

    Oh, surely now Dump will pivot and become more than a divot. Or, maybe he’ll be the same as he always has been, a carnival barker with merchandise for sale.

  • blaid droog

    When they stepped off the pavement onto the grass, he probably had marines lay on the grass for them to walk on so melanoma wouldn’t get her tootsies muddy.

    • SprinklemagicResistancebuns

      Muddy, nothing. Anyone who’s walked in grass with any kind of heels know what happens. Those stilletos would be after the first step.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Do you think she at least left them behind for a poor who wears size 10 AAAA?

    • Hazel Blumberg

      Do you honestly think that thwump cares what happens to melanoma? Oh, puhleeze! he’d expect the Marines to lie down in the grass so that he could walk over them.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    Glenn was a real good sport about this on the tweeter, +1 for him.

  • Shaydee

    Bore-us and Natasha flew to Texas. Where was Squirrel and Moose?

    • sillyclucker

      Mike Huckabee ate them.

      • Jukesgrrl

        FTW.

  • Johnny Appleseed

    Wow, let’s all celebrate this President who FINALLY found a disaster NOT of his own creation! Oh glorious day. Praise the Lord.

    Should we Saint him now? I’m sure some of his supporters believe he already has been sainted, and the Electoral College gave him an honorary degree.

  • Toledo Window Box

    Cilizza is a HACK.

  • Toledo Window Box

    In that pic with Melania in high heels, Trump is one that looks like he’s having trouble walking. What a putz.

  • pixeloid

    Will Melania be offering a discount in Houston on her new shoe line? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/440b270a83014f995465da6cd6a835019f5ca52fed8e9667d2df8cce35747aed.jpg

  • pixeloid

    You’ve got to love tRump’s dulcet tones as he very presidentially announced Arpaio’s pardon during the hurricane to get better ratings.

  • ltmcdies

    Melaina must have some bloody dim bulbs working for her. Those aren’t just inappropriate but unsafe in wet weather.

    her husband just looks he finally managed to maneuver his obnoxious oversized RV into that camp spot meant for a tent

    • The stilettos are actually great for puncturing the soil and allowing it to absorb more runoff.

  • harryeagar

    How, pray tell, is 50 inches of rain ‘like Texas’? Other than the fact that you don’t want either one in your neighborhood.

    • Hazel Blumberg

      “Like Texas” equals “Bigly” in thump’s tiny excuse for a mind.

  • Marykcortez

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family!!!
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    >>>http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash440TopProductions/GetPay$97/Hour……

  • Weird Fishes

    1239 days to go. Which was less than I thought, but far more than I wanted.

    On April 27 we crack the magic 1000-day barrier – No, I don’t know why it’s magic, other than trading in four digits for three, and that we’ll feel better for it – so that’s something.

    • Mark R.M. Holmstrand

      I don’t think he’ll make it to April 27th. I’m thinking resignation before then.

      • Weird Fishes

        I hear you. Couldn’t agree more.

  • T112598

    Melania’s Next hat:
    “PLAGIARIZER”

  • Jgb979

    It’s sad how many people still expect the Donnie to wake up and act like a human being

    He spent all of yesterday congratulating the large crowds and holding campaign rallies. Not once did he express condolences for those hurt, or tweet out links to donate, or demonstrate anything that might be remotely categorized as human empathy.

    He’s a narcissistic sociopath sex monster. It’s time for everyone to get on the same page and treat him accordingly. (Someone from the NYT should know better)

  • Saywhat?

    Do you think he donates the proceeds from those hats to harvey relief? I know, I know, not bloody likely.

  • PJG320

    I’m sure that this writing style is far cheaper than therapy, and, readers love it; however, how does it get us closer to winning back Congress in fourteen months?

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      Perhaps you should read some of the archived articles. Last year Dok covered a different state race every week, with some impressive information. Go to the search option up top and type “senate race” and you’ll find properly researched heavy information-laden articles, which are often loaded with wit.

      Like this one: https://wonkette.com/605235/your-senate-sunday-floridas-u-s-senate-race-about-as-screwy-as-everything-else-in-florida

      Stick around, many here volunteer politically, and I dare say we all bother to vote and encourage everyone else to do the same.

  • Hazel Blumberg

    NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING that thump does could make him presidential. he sat and sort of listened to facts about the horrors going on in Texas. he looked really bored. he played with his tiny fingers. he looked like he nodded off at one point. Every once in a while, he’d turn and face the cameras so that everybody would know it was All About Him. Then he looked bored again. And have you noticed how bright red he was? And how fat? And how sweaty? All I can hope for is a heart attack or a stroke. melanoma expressed about as much interest as he did. And they both wore hats that were so big that they kept slipping down over their faces. What a pair! Presidential? I think not.

  • Mark R.M. Holmstrand

    Alaska is more than twice as big and never has hurricanes. Just saying.

  • crunchyknee

    I agape you, Mr. Hurst.

  • irishdave3

    But, but what about the Solidarity shown by by Mala Norma wearing the Float US hat to the Flood?

  • irishdave3

    know what would be real Presidential? Build a Hurricane Wall to stop them storms from the Gulf of…MEXICO! And you know who would pay for too. also.!

    • Granny Sprinkles

      Poseidon?

      • irishdave3

        Cheesus Granny, it’s not the Gulf of Greccians….Mexico damn it, Mexico!

  • irishdave3

    When Mala Norma goes to Nawlins for the next Hurricane, will yuuge crowds chant..Show US your Tweets?

  • gingerland62

    Yesterday he went potty in the big boy bathroom. Look how far he’s come.

  • James Lamere

    The real tragedy is that Trump wont be able to play golf until all this fake hurricane bullshit is over . Well he could…..but then he would be risking his reputation as the most caring ,compassionate , loveable President in our history . Make Asswaddle Golf Again !!!

  • (((Jgmurphy)))

    Maybe when Mar-A-Lago is underwater he will quit calling out the Chinese for hoaxing us all?

  • WhoCheckedRussia’sVoterID

    How can trump ever “regain the power to unify”??? How is this possible? It is not possible. The child is the poster boy for disunity and bigotry and all the horrible stuff. He will always be that. This is his legacy as president. It is chipped in stone. There is no redemption for this man. He could find the cure for cancer, give it away free, solve the middle east, and stop global warning…there would still be an asterisk by his name in the history books: (*but he is still considered a complete fucking asshole).

    That ship has not only sailed, it wrecked on a rock and sank.

  • Hairy Melvin

    To be fair, Trump probably has Melania save the black leather jackboots for “Ilsa: She Wolf of the SS” cosplay night.

Previous articleDonald Trump’s A Lunatic, Film At Eleven
Next articleDinesh D’Souza Can Now Reveal The Shocking Truth: Nazis Fucked A Lot