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Mama said knock you out

The world is going to hell, Houston and surrounding areas in Texas are underwater, and Donald Trump, the actual president, used the occasion to pardon Joe Arpaio, one of the most evil, vicious scumbags in all of America. Oh, and there is a shitload of new news in the investigation into whether Donald Trump and/or his campaign conspired with Russia to steal the 2016 election, in exchange for … (???). Because there’s so much news, let’s just start … somewhere!

Robert Mueller is IN YOUR ASS, Paul Manafort!

As Hurricane Harvey was bearing down on the Texas coast, news broke that special counsel Robert Mueller is starting to play a game of Fun With Subpoenas, in his efforts to squeeze lower level Trump people and get them to flip on people higher up, whose last names likely rhyme with “Hump.” We all know Paul Manafort has taken metric ass tons of money from foreign Russian interests and Russia-aligned Ukrainian interests. Mueller had ordered an early morning raid on former campaign chief Paul Manafort’s home in Virginia, likely because he was worried Manafort would try to destroy evidence.

Now, Mueller is going to PR people who worked with Manafort on an “international campaign,” to find out what dirty dirt they know about him. As NBC reports, the “stated goal” of this campaign, which went from 2012 to 2014, was to get Ukraine into the European Union:

The inquiry into the lobbying campaign appears to be part of a larger investigation into his work for a pro-Russian Ukrainian political party, his offshore banking transactions, his tax compliance and his real estate dealings, people familiar with the probe have told NBC News. […]

At the time, Ukraine was run by a pro-Russian political party that had paid Manafort $17 million for consulting in 2013 and 2014, according to Manafort’s latest foreign lobbying disclosure filing, which he filed belatedly under Justice Department pressure.

These are the payments that, when exposed, led Paul Manafort to finally register as a foreign agent. Of course, Manafort has made lots of OTHER weird money from creepy bad guys in his life, and Mueller is looking into all of that too, so stay tuned for more subpoena news!

Robert Mueller is IN YOUR ASS, Michael Flynn!

Oh, but those are not the only subpoenas Robert Mueller is playing with! He also sent some out to a PR firm asking about work it did for disgraced former national security adviser Michael Flynn, in his screwy dealings with the increasingly authoritarian government of Turkey. But even juicier than that is news, reported by Shane Harris in the Wall Street Journal, that Mueller is looking into whether Flynn actively worked with Russian hackers to get Hillary Clinton’s Whitey Tape mythical 33,000 missing emails:

The effort to seek out hackers who were believed to have stolen Mrs. Clinton’s emails, first reported by The Wall Street Journal, was led by a longtime Republican activist, Peter W. Smith. In correspondence and conversations with his colleagues, Mr. Smith portrayed Mr. Flynn as an ally in those efforts and implied that other senior Trump campaign officials were coordinating with him, which they have denied. He also named Mr. Flynn’s consulting firm and his son in the correspondence and conversations.

When news of this effort broke, the collective reaction here at Wonkette HQ was “Huh!” Peter Smith, who committed suicide not long before his name started appearing in the newspaper, was this crazy old Republican Clinton-hating conspiracy crank, and it was difficult to tell whether he was actually in the room working with Flynn and others, or whether he was just a weirdo on the internet claiming to have friends in high places. The fact that Mueller is investigating this seems to suggest it could be pretty big!

The WSJ reports that on the other side of the pond, Russian hackers were picked up in U.S. intelligence (that Mueller has been looking into) “discussing how to obtain emails from Mrs. Clinton’s server and then transmit them to Mr. Flynn,” so it looks like this may all be the same story. The fact that “Hillary Clinton’s 33,000 missing emails where she explains how she masterminded the Benghazi attacks with her best pals Huma Abedin and Sidney Blumenthal” is A FUCKING MADE UP STORY is irrelevant. Michael Flynn, like Peter Smith, is a conspiracy theory-addicted crank. If he was working Russia to get to the real truth about #PizzaGate, it would still be collusion, even if Russia’s only role was to look at the blueprints and say, “Dude that pizza place does not even have a basement, what is wrong with you?”

Is it possible that, with all these subpoenas going out, Trump might have partially used his pardon of Sheriff Joe to send his pals Manafort and Flynn a message that he’s ready to issue shiny gold-plated pardons with their names on them?

Yes, especially since Trump went to Attorney General Jeff Sessions and asked him to kill the investigation into Arpaio, just like he did with former FBI Director James Comey vis a vis the Russia investigation. We sense a pattern here!

Obstruction of justice say WHAT?

Obstruction of justice say “HEY GIRL!”

Any other weird Trump-Russia news?

Oh, there’s just this bizarre thing about how during the 2016 campaign, as Trump was lying and insisting he had NOTHING to do with Russia, the Trump Organization was actually working very hard behind the scenes to make a deal for a Trump Tower in Moscow. The deal, which obviously never came to fruition, was being pushed by Felix Sater, a creepy criminal Russian-American Mafia guy who just happened to work in Trump Tower, for the Trump Organization, and longtime Trump lawyer Michael “SAYS WHO?” Cohen. The Washington Post has the full story, which you should read!

OK cool, are we done now?

Until 6:00 PM, when the next batch of news is dumped on our face!

Wonkette salaries are fully paid by lovely souls like you! If you love us, click below to fund us!

[NBC / Wall Street Journal / Washington Post]

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  • Indiepalin

    Trump is looking into pre-emptive pardons for his racist pals.

  • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

    First non-Houston post of the day.

    Trump sucks! That is all.

  • Covfefe

    What strategery can Mueller use to neutralize the Trump pardon strategery?

    • MynameisBlarney

      Goin after them on tax evasion?

    • WeaselPoo

      I’m thinking that charges are parsed, not lumped together. Trump could pardon one, but not several subsequent acts. ???

    • Vincent Ricola

      Shame Paul Ryan and his band of clownfuckers in the house to impeach already?

      • Oblios_Cap

        They have no sense of shame. That’s why they’re Republicans.

      • Ms.Moon

        Plus Paul Ryan’s name has been floated in relation to funny money from the Russians as well.

    • TundraGrifter

      Lay out a case the Attorney General of the State of New York can pursue.

      • Little Lulu Ω

        Yes!

    • Thiazin Red

      I’ve read that if someone is pardoned they lose their ability to site the fifth amendment and not answer questions.

      NY is also ready to take over the case.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Yup – it’s like getting immunity from the DA. You no longer are under threat of prosecution, so there is no protection against self-incrimination.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          And, if you don’t testify, they issue a subpoena, then, if you don’t testify, it’s contempt. Donnie may break the record for presidential pardons.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        You are also admitting guilt and are not free from civil action.

    • Mike

      Mueller’s strategy better be to have a rock solid overwhelmingly strong case cuz you get one swing at this fastball…anything but a homerun hit is a lost ball game.

      • jesterpunk

        Thats why this is going to take a while, he cant rush anything and has to build a case strong enough that even republicans cant ignore it.

        • Mike

          Agreed, I’m in no rush…

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Bring State rather than federal charges, although I’m not sure how that would play out in the long run.

  • Vincent Ricola

    “Peter Smith, who committed suicide not long before his name started appearing in the newspaper…”

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Chalk one up to the Clinton Body Count, is what I say.

  • TJ Barke

    Obstructor in Chief?

  • schmannity

    A ‘poena in their ass and they’re not in jail yet!

  • GoutMachine

    I know all of this takes time, but c’mon, man, hurry up and put these fuckers in jail!

  • Oblios_Cap

    At the time, Ukraine was run by a pro-Russian political party that had paid Manafort $17 million for consulting in 2013 and 2014, according to Manafort’s latest foreign lobbying disclosure filing, which he filed belatedly under Justice Department pressure.

    Who among us has not forgotten that we had received $17M for lobbying on behalf of a foreign power? Leave the poor fellow alone.

    • WeaselPoo

      Sticky note glue failure is probably to blame.

    • Duke

      I checked the couch for the $17,000,000. Came up $16,999,999.75 short.

    • That’s true, let he who didn’t receive their $17 million for lobbying on behalf of a foreign government cast the first solid gold stone.

  • yyyaz

    The NBC report linked to has been taken down. Maybe because Manafort wasn’t working to help Ukraine join the EU, he was working for and with Putin to prevent Ukraine from joining.

    • PDT

      thank you, that didn’t make any sense

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Great. Yet another opportunity for the right to screech about “fake news.”

      • Three Finger Salute

        Just repost it with Brian Williams on the byline.

    • I always assumed that was the case. What advantage would it be for Russia to have the Ukraine join the EU?

      They are more into destabilising governments to annex more territory.

      Fuckers.

  • Mike

    All this bs about Trump being able to pardon his co conspirators or family is dependent on a single key factor…how much evidence Mueller has.
    If the evidence and charges are weak, Trump wins and he’ll be backed up by the republican congress…if the evidence is strong, congress will impeach and demand SCOTUS reviews any and all pardons.
    Not to mention, the case law and precedent on pardoning co conspirators and family isn’t just sketchy, it’s virtually non existent.
    Either way, a constitutional crisis is on the way.

    • WeaselPoo

      Though the more politically astute. GOP critters might want impeachment for the good of the Party, I think there are enough really stupid radical Republicans who will prevent the majority needed to impeach– unless the mid terms change the balance of power.

      • Mike

        That’s certainly a possibility, like I said it all d pends on the weight of evidence Mueller shows us. If he has absolute evidence of collusion with a money trail and numerous players, there’s no chance any member of congress regardless which party, would stand behind him.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          In that case, the best deal for a Republican Congress would be to try to use Javanka to convince Trump to resign.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      There’s another factor- if you’re Flynn or Manafort, who are you more likely to trust- Trump or Mueller? It might be better to take a deal with Mueller and know exactly what you’re getting… oh hell if these guys were capable of much rational thought they wouldn’t have got to where they are in the first place.

      • Mike

        Hmmm….rational thinking…? Haven’t seen a lot of that…

        • Three Finger Salute

          I award them no points, and may God have mercy on their souls.*

          *Assumes souls already in existence.

      • CeeQ

        If Trump’s flexible loyalty hasn’t scared them then they really are stupid.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          Not to mention the lying, broken promises, and his propensity for throwing all those not family under the bus- but that last one would go under “flexible loyalty”.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Peter Smith, who committed suicide not long before his name started appearing in the newspaper, was this crazy old Republican Clinton-hating conspiracy crank

    And the Clinton Murder machine claimed another victim!

    • Lascauxcaveman

      You can quibble and criticize all you want about her last preznitial campaign, but when there’s a killing to be done, she gets her done, alright!

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Must…refrain…from making nesting doll joke…

    • Let it out Spotts.

      We like the Russian trump nesting doll jokes.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Honestly, now that you mention it, I’m disappointed I’ve never seen a risque version of nesting dolls, where the opening is at the ass area. Buttcracks do seem a natural spot for such a device.

  • mellowjohn
    • Nockular cavity

      We’re gonna need a bigger glove.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        The veterinary trade has gloves that go to the shoulder for internal examinations of horses and cows. Mr. Mueller may need some.

    • Duke

      It’s like the TSA:

      You’re not in trouble until you hear the glove snap.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Yeah, baby! Bend over and cough! I’ll put on some Adele.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Hello from the many siiiiiiiiiiides…

        You must have twit a thousand tiiiiiiiiiimes…

  • memzilla Ω

    Dear Lord:

    Please let us all live long enough to see THE MOST EPIC PERP WALK OF OUR LIFETIMES.

    Sincerely, The Wonketterati

    • Now that’s a prayer I can really get behind.

    • Parakeetist

      Amen!

    • CeeQ

      Dear Jesus – a Trump perp walk is all I want for every Christmas ever. Please please please.
      Except that one time in 4th grade when I asked for the Barbie. Still. Waiting.

      Love & kisses.

      • Arolpin

        If we get a perp walk, I’ll get you a Barbie. Unless it’s Malibu Barbie, fuck that Drumpf-supporting beeyatch.

        • CeeQ

          If we get a perp walk – I’ll get myself a Barbie!!! And her dream house!!

    • The Librarian

      P.S. I don’t believe in you, but if you throw me a bone, I might reconsider.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        You know, Paul was the same way, and when God gave him rock-solid evidence, he became even more of an asshole than he already was.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          I believe that’s called doubling down.

        • The Librarian

          Hmmmm. I’m already at my limit, but I guess there’s always room for improvement.

    • Little Lulu Ω

      This is my dream, fer shur. Martin Luther King had a dream too, but mine’s so much better.

  • IdiotsforPalin

    Ya know, that Dump Tower would have worked in Moscow if he had made it into a whore house……..

    • Oblios_Cap

      The Trump Pee Tower…

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Family business just like grandpa did. I love that the Canadians preserved it as a historical site

  • Mr. Blobfish

    All roads lead to Trump Tower Moscow,

    • Rags

      It would have been the ultimate money laundering machine in the Organization, with properties spinning faster than a laundromat dryer.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Don’t you see, you fools? Peter Smith didn’t commit suicide, it was Hillary’s death squads!!!! Probably aided by Chicago thugs, just sayin’.

    • Deep State Operatives. Black clad assassins.

      Black helicopters…

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Ninja, please!

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Hillary’s killing machine is about as accurate as God’s tornadoes.

  • Oblios_Cap

    O/T, but stupid people gotta be stupid:

    Trump Twatter: HISTORIC rainfall in Houston, and all over Texas. Floods are unprecedented, and more rain coming. Spirit of the people is incredible.Thanks!

    I was unaware that the “historic rainfall” was all over Texas. I guess that’s why I’m not president.

    • WeaselPoo

      I wish we were already “un-presidented”.

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      Historic rainfall on both sides. Both sides. Believe me. Not all the rain was bad, some of it was just marching innocently beside the bad rain. Some are saying the flooding is a good thing, believe me.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Because yay, the drought is over?

    • Catstro

      Thanks!

    • Toledo Window Box

      Thanks? Thanks?????

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    It’s clear that, after an initial period of awe at the sheer power of their positions, Jared and Ivanka have been stung by the vitriol directed at them. But, as Ivanka has been known to tell her six-year-old daughter, Arabella, “for every problem, there is a solution.” For Kushner and Ivanka, the solution has been to fight back: against New York friends who disapprove of them, against West Wing foes, and even against the president himself. Increasingly you hear chatter in Washington that Jared and Ivanka won’t last, not because they are at risk of being pushed out, but because they will save themselves from a damaged White House. One well-connected strategist in New York told me that the two were eyeing a move at the end of the school year in 2018. A person close to the couple said they weren’t planning that far ahead. “When they decide it’s more important to protect their own and their children’s reputations than it is to defend their indefensible father’s, that’s a sign the end is near,” one influential Republican donor told me.

    https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2017/08/jared-kushner-ivanka-trump-repelled-by-washington-elite

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      At some point, Trump is going to be alone in the White House screaming “Rosebud” or maybe “pee hooker.”

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        perhaps throwing bowling pins at preachers and talking about milkshakes?

    • Wild Cat

      “Don’t worry, kids—Mom has enough pull to Aryanize you before one of your grandfather’s voters tries to gas you all to death.”

      Can’t make this shit up.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        One of my proudest moments on Wonkette was when an anti-semitic Trumpbot showed up spouting his nonsense. I had a little dialogue with him, and when he wouldn’t leave, I wrote him a paragraph about the very Jewish, Orthodox Jews, Jared Kushner, and Ivanka the jewess. I told him I was glad we finally had a bunch of New York Jews running the White House. He left so quickly I could practically hear the door slamming behind him. These people are so dumb, I don’t think they even realize Ivanka is jewish, much less that her husband and children are.

    • OrG

      Too late javanka, this stench will be on you forever.

    • BigCSouthside

      If she had just put dad in a home we wouldn’t be in this mess.

      Also she’s a huge piece of shit

      • YoBunnyBunny

        This. I don’t know what kind hold Trump has on kids or if they are really that stupid, but if MY DAD was as incompetent at…EVERYTHING!, you better believe me and my siblings would have had his “declared” quick fast in a hot-ass hurry. And it’s not like Trump is especially smart at his business and actually reads stuff.

        For rich kids, the Trumps don’t even know how to do “Evil Back-Stabbing Rich Kid Plotting” very good.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Aurora House seems like a good choice. Nurse Nokes can engage Donald in many a political discussion.

    • CeeQ

      Please. They already have an exit plan. Just waiting for the opportune time. Like – when their idiot dad somehow can’t condemn Nazi scum. Oh wait.

    • Toledo Window Box

      Ivanka – tell us the solution to a treasonous incompetent fraud who stole the White House with help from a hostile foreign enemy.

    • NotReallyHere

      Thanks for sharing that article. My favorite paragraph:

      But outside the White House, a key problem seems to be, as one Washington veteran told me, that Kushner and Ivanka don’t have the necessary self-awareness—don’t understand how to behave when you roll into Washington as the creature of someone else. Most such people take a seat a little off to the side, at least until they get their bearings. “What is off-putting about them is they do not grasp their essential irrelevance,” this veteran told me. “They think they are special.”

      Javanka lacks self-awareness. I’m shocked.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      If the end is such a stated fact to these people, why don’t these influential Republican donors using their influence to hasten that end? Can’t they see how this is going to hurt them? Do they honestly think the Obama economy is going to just blithely chug along under Trump?

      • Ill-Advised

        If you have enough money to buy islands, jets, exclusive club memberships, and laugh at a 350-point drop in the NYSE overnight, would you need to care how the “other” economy is doing?

        Except to go slumming, of course. It isn’t any good for anything else, for any values of IOKIYAR.

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    Felix Sater? Isn’t that James Bond’s pal in the CIA?

    • yyyaz

      Sater = Leiter in at least 10 languages.

    • WeaselPoo

      No…its a device to felixate things.The Felixater 3009 takes care of ALl your felixating needs.
      !!

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Didn’t he end in a shark tank in a license to kill?

      yes he did:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnZN6bSgUfc

    • eggs ackly-wright

      That’s Satyr.

    • Daniel

      When he’d eaten enough, yes. Before that he was Felix Lighter.

      After that he was Felix Later.

    • Three Finger Salute

      I think he has a bag of tricks and was in a bad acid-trip movie in 1988.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Joshua Norton

    Trump accepted Putin’s assurances Russia DIDN’T meddle in U.S. election OVER U.S. intel agencies that say it DID. “America first, sucka!”

    • jesterpunk

      Remember when he tried to get Russia involved in US cyber security? He only claimed he was joking when everyone called him A Idiot.

      http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-trump-russia-cyber-idUSKBN19U0P4

      • MynameisBlarney

        Remember when he committed treason on camera?

        • jesterpunk

          Which time?

          • MynameisBlarney

            AOT, K?

      • Joshua Norton

        That one’s right up there in “Great Republican Moments in History”. Along with the time W (that other President of the Electoral College) wanted to sell our ports to the United Arab Emirates and allow them to be run without any supervision from the U.S.

        • yyyaz

          Yet another reason why I will never miss him.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Great Republican Moments in History:

          Eisenhower warns us about the Military Industrial Complex.

          ….and nobody listened.

    • Toledo Window Box

      Trump knows exactly what is going on and is lying about EVERYTHING.

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        I’m not sure about the first half of that sentence.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    today in unintentional puns – Tx mom tells me the mayor of Beaumont, TX was just on tv, and, when asked about whether they’d send help to Houston, answered, “Well, the situation is fluid.”

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Verbal filtering is a good, under-appreciated thing…

      • Three Finger Salute

        Daily Fail also ran a headline saying that a black professor who said that Black Lives Matter should be hanged… was suspended.

        You stay classy, Brexit Pravda.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Good one.

    • SDGeoff3

      Fluid,eh? Fluid like flooding up to their attics.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        yeah, poor choice of words. I was just reading about the houston mayor’s presser just now and he called the situation “dynamic.” Which is better.

    • Werewolf

      Beaumont might get slammed when that sonafabitch storm comes back later this week. Mayor needs to be careful of his resources.

  • canes_pugnaces

    Trump lied? Say it isn’t so.

    • It isn’t s….. nope sorry, can’t.

    • SDGeoff3

      Imagine our shock and dismay.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Our udder shock…

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Mueller’s peonies are in full bloom …

    • Three Finger Salute

      Trump’s peonies = tiny stem and no bulbs.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Sad fails.

      • Something something ‘Pee Hookers = peonies/pee on these” something.

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    Spoiler alert- having watched GOT last night, I have to believe that a certain idealistic frostily named northern persons speech about lying was done in response to Trump.

    • ManchuCandidate

      So Trump bangs his sister? With uh votes.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      The Night’s King tells it like it is.

  • Crisis Actor

    Muh Mueller is looking into The perverted Podesta Group.

    • Daniel

      Yeah, probably. So where do you think they hid the basement from Comet Ping Pong? I think behind the grassy knoll, but then I love the classics.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos
      • Crisis Actor
        • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

          Nope, not clicking. The whole thing is bullshit.

          Thanks for stopping by.

        • Daniel

          Researchers have been scouring public records and submitting their findings to internet forums like Voat and Reddit. Many have speculated that some sort of “kill room” or “holding center” for trafficked children exists there and others think that it is a shell business to hide illegal transactions; then again, those things are not mutually exclusive. Perhaps he doesn’t mention it because he is embarrassed about a failed business venture.

          Important points to note:
          1) no researchers are named or linked to
          2) “many have speculated”- yes, many have. Many have speculated Elvis is alive, or Paul is dead, or backmasking leads to Satan worship, or Trump is a capable… anything. “Many have speculated” is not the same as “there is evidence that”.
          3) “Perhaps he doesn’t mention it because he is embarrassed about a failed business venture.” It’s far more likely he’s not talking about it because he’s covering up a vast child sex ring.

          Try harder.

          • Crisis Actor
          • Daniel

            Historically, museums were used as places for philisophical discussions and higher learning about the human condition. In ancient Rome, museums were considered the highest honor a building could hold.

            This is an interesting claim the writer makes again without support. I just find it curious your link is riddled with such things. It’s argument from assertion and JAQing off all the way through. If you believe this, I have to ask why.

          • Daniel

            Why?

          • jesterpunk

            The commenters’ rebuttals could be summed up as, “No actually the menu does not say DINING ROOM FULL OF TODDLER BUTTHOLES, but nice try though!”

          • jesterpunk

            I know the first places everyone submits important research to is Reddit and Voat.

        • Edith Prickly

          Go home Mr. Flynn, you’re high.

          • Crisis Actor

            Flynn is awesome

          • jesterpunk

            As you can imagine, there were ONE MILLION comments and the thing was going viral, with everybody tagging all their friends and loved ones and pastors and their fluffers saying “OMG YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS.” They were #NeverForgetting about the thing they named #ButtholeGate! A few people were like, “Blow off the haters!” But other people were asking, “But if you don’t want to have TODDLER BUTTHOLE IN YOUR FACE when you are eating, does that really make you a hater? REALLY?”

            As we said, this has all been deleted (like in the last five minutes — aren’t you glad yr local Wonkette was on the case?):

        • Your idiotic comments are going make this Koala fall outa his tree.

          Shame!

          https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/746154e2394ecf392e51dab2b3a1ac5af0ea76088fbff4658812ef1d05287375.jpg

          • Crisis Actor

            Why are you defending pedophiles?

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            No one’s defending you.

          • At what point did I defend anything you have said?

            It’s nowhere village.

            Now fuck off you stupid troll shithead.

            Ta.

          • jesterpunk

            Now, a normal restaurateur who knows how to run a business would see this, apologize profusely, and promise it will never happen again. Maybe a gift certificate would be in the offing! That is not what happened.

            The owners instead responded by lashing out at the reviewer in two (recently deleted!) posts, because obviously that person hates children, because if you don’t want to eat lunch or dinner while Mommy’s Little Bundle Of Health Code Violations runs amok, that means you HATE KIDS and HATE HER KIDS SPECIFICALLY:

          • Crisis Actor
          • jesterpunk

            Are the buttholes vegan?

          • Crisis Actor

            No, but you can take a wild guess why they call it ‘pizza’.

          • jesterpunk

            There is a vegan restaurant in Memphis called Imagine Vegan Cafe. We have never been there because LOL vegan food. Next time we get a hankering to eat sand, we guess! Anyway, this restaurant is not far from our house, and from what we know from our local vegan pals, it’s well-regarded. Or should we say, it WAS well-regarded, but then #ButtholeGate happened.

            Y’all. Y’ALL.

            A regular diner had a bad experience, so she left a review, like people do. It wasn’t a mean review, really! She didn’t cuss them, and she didn’t say she was never ever fucking visiting again. She just wanted to let the owners know she found it kind of icky when she was eating her monkey grass salad with dirt dressing, and the OWNER’S TODDLER CHILD WAS RUNNING AROUND THE RESTAURANT ALL NEKKID WITH DIRTY FEET AND SHOWING ITS BUTTHOLE TO WHOMEVER WANTED TO SEE IT. She also didn’t like it when the owner’s other kid yodeled at her repeatedly while she was eating. Otherwise, it was great! Really good imitation food! Would eat again! Just, like, next time, hold the toddler butthole and the yodeling and everything will be great, OK?

      • Crisis Actor
    • OrG

      Are you lost?

    • jesterpunk
    • TJ Barke

      Did you want to be a stupid tool when you grew up?

      • Crisis Actor

        Why are you mad chicken lover?

        • Daniel

          “Chicken lover”? You’re the one posting memes about cock.

          • Crisis Actor

            What does #hotard refer to?

          • Daniel

            I don’t know.

          • Crisis Actor

            A hoe + retard. So a f-in pervert (50 most powerful man in D.C.) takes a picture of a baby and says #hotard. Perverts

          • Daniel

            That’s absolutely conclusive proof of everything you believe.

            Congratulations.

            There can be no other explanation.

          • Crisis Actor

            Among a million other things.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            Name and provide proof of one.

          • Crisis Actor

            Dennis Hastret. BFF with Podesta. Pedophiles hang in the same group.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            And a Republican – soooo, all Republicans are pedophiles now?

          • Crisis Actor

            Some of them, sure. I would say if your BF is a pedophile, at the very least you’re fine with it.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos
          • Crisis Actor

            That’s a great picture.

          • Daniel

            Real things, or things people have speculated?

          • Crisis Actor

            Google ‘Jimmy Comet’ it there in front of your eyes. Or he is just a total fruitcake that loves taking pictures with children in compromising ways

          • Daniel

            I’ve done that, and I’m seeing a lot of pictures of him with other adults, and one of him holding a baby that someone has covered with explanations of exactly why it’s paedophilic which, as I’m sure you’ll have solid arguments against, seem thoroughly unconvincing. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f951ec422a0a77b1a899594b21e7f76b3a87e5e3d14aad8389bc433583eaf98a.jpg

          • Crisis Actor

            If you want to take pictures of children in a compromising way, then that’s all on you. Don’t be shocked when people point it out.

          • Crisis Actor

            And ‘Jimmy Comet’ says it right there #chickenlover. Lol there you go. In front of your eyes.

    • blarg

      Oh look, another breitbeetle scuttled out from under a rock. You know, they’re actually kind of cute if you can get past the stupidity and clinical paranoia. Oh, and the stink. Don’t forget about the stink, people.

    • MynameisBlarney
    • If you are truly a crisis actor, why aren’t you down in Corpus Christi helping people?

      • Crisis Actor

        I took the week off.

    • therblig

      another monday, another asshole blocked.

    • Anna Rompage

      There’s no chance that Mueller will catch Podesta…

      See, Hillary had her favorite assassin, Ben Ghazi, kill seth Rich with a private email server in the basement of Comet Ping Pong during a satanic ritual for Podesta, and the sacrificial blood of Rich has made Podesta into an undefeatable sith overlord…

      • Daniel

        It’s just a shame this gets buried under all the accidental falsehoods that Alex Jones broadcasts, because stuff like this- this is solid journalism.

      • Crisis Actor

        Cool story

      • jesterpunk

        There was also risotto involved somehow.

      • And the Chemtrails! You cannot have good journalism without them.

    • spangled

      jesus christ you people are still doing this?

      • Crisis Actor

        He is. Read the news.

        • Anna Rompage

          I think you need to put quotation marks around the word “news” when you reference the sites you’re talking about…

          Personally I’d consider them more to be trucker speed fueled entertainment & conspiracy sites, but to each his or her own…

          • spangled

            what? you don’t get your news from hillaryclintontruthexposed.biz? or realamericapatrionews.blogspot.com? or rando 4chan threads?

        • jesterpunk

          HOLY GOD, the kid is POTTY TRAINING? As opposed to potty train-ED? So there’s a risk that, as you’re sitting there eating your imitation hot wings (made entirely of couscous and sadness!), the naked kid might have an oopsie-poopsie? Like literally? On your table?

          After the first thread went viral, the restaurant started a new thread to apologize for being such dicks who probably only act like that because their stomachs are crying out for a fucking steak explain why they were right and the person who left the mean review is a liar who sucks:

    • Edith Prickly

      Dear Shit-fer-Brains is going to write itself this week.

      • Crisis Actor

        I stand behind my comment. Facts don’t care about your feelings.

        • jesterpunk

          That’s right, fuck ALL Y’ALL SELFISH MOTHERFUCKERS who think restaurants should have quaint things like “standards.” Imagine Vegan Cafe is about SAVING ANIMALS and LETTING KIDS RUN AROUND WITH DIRTY FEET AND SHOWIN’ EVERYBODY THEIR BUTTHOLE. Sure, it’s a “business” in the sense that it takes money and makes a profit and has to pay taxes and has to be inspected by the health department on a regular basis, but that is just FASCIST CAPITALISM GONE WILD. Why do you hate animals and toddler buttholes and insistent yodeling?

          Besides, their kids were being totally normal, even if they were taking local diners to Butthole McYodelTown against their will:

    • doktorzoom

      Dipshit troll is Dipshit, Banhammered.

      — Dok Zoom, Yr Friendly Neighborhood Comments Moderator

      • Ill-Advised

        I can only echo Edith Prickly: “Dear Shit-for-Brains is going to write itself this week.” I missed the action, but it sounds like some of us got some exercise.

  • Amelia Resists and Persists

    Sigh. God knows every member of Mueller’s team is working harder than the entire Trump administration combined, and it’s for the best that they’re doing it all the right way, but my God he’s screwing up so many things every day and I just want it to be over.

    • Rick Hill

      Depends your definition of hard work. Right now, they are all working 24/7 to ensure no one upsets trump and to fluff him on their break time.

      • Amelia Resists and Persists

        I don’t think that’s work. That’s karmic punishment for agreeing to work for him in the first place.

    • calliecallie

      I am right there with you. I can hardly bear this. I was really hoping it would be wrapped up by now. Please hurry, Team Mueller.

  • Three Finger Salute

    Times like these when Spicer, Flynn, James Woods, and Sinclair taking over the local NBC affiliate bring shame to neighboring Rhode Island (along with their own in-state fuckery involving numerous politicians taking a perp walk), I’m grateful for Viola Davis, Del’s Lemonade, and of course, my boyfriend in Canada. Justin Trueheart and Wallace Stevens, really great guys. People are going to be talking about them more and more, believe me. (Flynn and the rest are best ignored by everyone other than Mueller.)

    • Ill-Advised

      I do not know which to prefer,
      the beauty of inflection, or the beauty of innuendo,
      the black bird whistling
      or just after.

  • Rick Hill

    Can’t we just lock them all up and let gawd sort them out? This is too much thinking for my beautiful brain….

  • Anna Rompage

    No no no…

    You silly kids, you all have it all wrong, Donad was the CEO of 500 different companies, and his Company, The DJT Domestic Corporation of General Domestic DoucheFuckery never did business with the Russians, however there were several of the DJT corporations that might have had dealings with Putin and his cronies.

    Corporations such as:

    the DJT Trust for Laundering Russian Mob Money

    The DJT Russian Pee Hooker Fund for Liquid Assets INC

    The DJT Cayman Island Shell Corp for Dodging US Tax Codes

    and the DJT Family Foundation for the Betterment of His & His Childrens Lives

    I mean good lord, how do you expects a bloviating psychopath & compulsive liar to keep all of his business dealing, of all 500 of his companies straight?

    • Toledo Window Box

      My neighbor is a big Trump guy, and he believes – BELIEVES – that Donald Trump built “80 per cent of the buildings in New York City”.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        ugh…

      • NastyBossetti

        Just how old does he think Donald Trump IS?

        • Anna Rompage

          47….

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        I was not aware that New York City razed every building constructed prior to 1960.

        • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

          i’m sure the folks at the Chrysler building are too.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        Running around the city at night scribbling his name on front doors with a gold Sharpie doesn’t count as ‘building.’

    • With an abacus!

      Also a small notepad, easy done.

    • SisterArtemis

      When I got this part of your post…

      the DJT Trust for Laundering Russian Mob Money
      The DJT Russian Pee Hooker Fund for Liquid Assets INC
      The DJT Cayman Island Shell Corp for Dodging US Tax Codes
      and the DJT Family Foundation for the Betterment of His & His Childrens Lives

      … I started hearing the NPR voice that lists the underwriters…. *sigh*
      That was weird…

  • It’s like the Three Stooges were trying to act out the Sopranos.

  • armed_bears
    • weejee

      To make up for such tiny bits, fingers included.

    • Amelia Resists and Persists

      He was counting the protesters, I guess. After all, they were paid to be there just like the people inside!

      • jesterpunk

        He lied during the event and said the secret service told him there where not many protestors outside.

        • Amelia Resists and Persists

          It’s like the place between his brain and his mouth where a filter would go has been replaced with a Truth Twister.

          Thought –> Too close to the truth, twiiiist –> Blatant Lie

    • georgiaburning

      Figure out what you’re good at and stick with it

      • TJ Barke

        If lying is what he’s best at, I’d hate to see what he’s worst at…

        • Major_Major_Major

          Errything else, naturally

        • georgiaburning

          He’s bankrupted casinos and a pro football team. This is America, think how hard it is to lose money in those businesses

    • WIDTAP

      Yes.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Is it tasteless to say “drip, drip, drip” while Texas drowns? How about if I add “with investigations and prosecutions” at the end?

    • Three Finger Salute

      I dunno, jury’s out on that one.

      In Trump’s case, it’s Chinese Hoax Torture.

    • I think your okay. Those are separate entities.

      Maybe. I dunno 🤷‍♀️

    • WIDTAP

      If you are willing to be flooded with criticism, ok.

  • Toledo Window Box

    Guess What, Michael Flynn And Paul Manafort! Robert Mueller Is Literally IN YOUR ASS.

    Literally?

  • MynameisBlarney
  • The WSJ reports that on the other side of the pond, Russian hackers were picked up in U.S. intelligence (that Mueller has been looking into) “discussing how to obtain emails from Mrs. Clinton’s server and then transmit them to Mr. Flynn,”

    Well, Trump was bragging like a 2 year old who just made a DOO DOO that the “election was rigged”.

    By his friends.
    http://i65.tinypic.com/2ngahig.jpg

    Lock him up Lock him up

    • For a moment my heart skipped a beat – then I saw the hands….damn photoshop.

      • Mildred Broxon

        Body too thin, also.

  • Flashman

    sub-PEEN-nuh, (n, pl. -s), Latin origin, meaning “under the penis.”

    • Beanz&Berryz

      “Oh! Lookie here what I found!”

      • Mavenmaven

        Mostly some gnarly foul smelling cheese like substance in Trump’s case.

    • DainBramage

      So, “firmly grasping the balls?”

      • MynameisBlarney

        “Cupping the scrotal area vigorously?”

    • calliecallie

      Mueller is ballin’

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Manafort has a sub-par peen-nuh.
      Allegedly.

    • Rick Hill

      That’s where all the nasty shit hidses

    • SeeTrain65

      You wanna touch it? Be my guest.

  • Christopher Story

    Semi off topic (it’s still about Trump)
    My girl and I found this series a few weeks ago and we absolutely love it! In case you haven’t heard of it, check out this latest episode. It’s so raw and biting.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_yrS2jGSew

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Crystalclear12

      Hmmm, accurate.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      I feel like this is missing a “These are the Tribulations of the Rapture, so this is all OK” panel.

    • therblig

      what’s wrong with “glug, glug” and then silence?

  • Crystalclear12

    Time saving measure:
    Anything Trump says assume the opposite is true.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Guess What, Michael Flynn And Paul Manafort! Robert Mueller Is Literally IN YOUR ASS.

    Shouldn’t he only need a stool sample to test for colorectal cancer?

  • Proud Liberal
    • MynameisBlarney

      Yes.

    • Christopher Story

      I’m going to have to research Taft. The more I learn about him, the more I really like him. Like, did you know, he put forth a bill reducing the workweek to 30 hours and it mandated 3 months vacation time. That’s downright progressive these days.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        Progressive? It’s bloody socialist!

        • Christopher Story

          And that’s the weirdest thing: He was a Republican! How far that party has fallen.

          • Khavrinen

            No, see, they freed the slaves —

            and haven’t changed a bit since then.

          • Last Hussar

            Only to keep Britain an France out the war. For Lincoln it was political expediency. And it was only slaves in states in rebellion, thus not slaves in Missouri, Maryland and Delaware.

          • Permit-holder Ron

            And they still haven’t hit bottom.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Taft tends to get a lot of short shrift because he came after TR, so everything he did was compared to how Roosevelt would’ve handled it. Taft generally wasn’t a bad President, just sorta an average one. But coming off of the brash, bold, persona that Roosevelt carried he looks worse.

      • paxpax

        All my European Instagram friends seem to be on vacation all the fucking time.

        • Christopher Story

          I think they call it “holiday.” And it’s so unfair.

    • bbayliss

      yes.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      The Republican congress?

      • Proud Liberal

        Let me finish your sentence “….won’t do anything.”

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          I thought Republican would suffice not to have that sentence finished.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Obnoxious kid-voice whining: But we haven’t even gotten to stick it to the poors yet!”

      Seriously, the GOP congress critters are smoking some hellacious stupid right now. They’d have probably repealed Obamacare and gotten their tax cuts a long ass time ago if they didn’t have their elected Fuck-Up-In-Chief blowing up their plans every time he tweets. The GOP deserves Trump, but unfortunately it’s We, The People who have to suffer the consequences or does something stupid.

      • I don’t think they would have the presidency without him though. So that puts them in a logic paradox.

        Or perhaps more accurately, a liar’s paradox.

  • Mavenmaven

    Lets prank Gorka by hanging a pantsuit in his closet. He’ll run out of the house screaming.

    • Or put it on and sing, “I Feel Pretty.”

    • george lastrapes

      Ah, you mention Gorka. My spellchecker underlines Gorka, even spelled correctly. Is it trying to tell me something?
      I have been thinking Seb’s CV is sketchy in a special way. The arguably bogus PhD and its lame dissertation, the legend of his anti-terrorism expertise, his entree into high positions of whatever: this was shabbily, ineptly done. The Russians are better than that, aren’t they? If not them, then who? And for how long?

      • Bobathonic

        They’re better than that when they want to be. Maybe he’s the Obvious Infiltrator.

        • george lastrapes

          Ah so! And he doesn’t even know that he’s cast as a clown.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Does gun fondling make people stupid? Or are stupid people pre-disposed to enjoy fondling guns?

    https://twitter.com/pharris830/status/902148150810611712

    • Maybe they just hate the lottery?

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        Could be…but if so, at least we know it isn’t because they read Shirley Jackson’s story.

        • Ill-Advised

          No need to draw lots if just showing up will do.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        …Or the English language.

      • Capitalist running dog 🐶

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        They didn’t win the genetic one.

    • MynameisBlarney

      That HAS to be parody.
      Right?

      • Permit-holder Ron

        Not any more.

      • Parody = Reality in the alternate trump universe.

        Which we are in, somehow.

    • writersbloc

      Was there a fire-sale on black orthopedic shoes I didn’t know about?

      • Ha! I didn’t notice that! You’re right!

      • therblig

        they’d be the first to tell you them’s TACTICAL shoes, although i don’t know if they facilitate walking and chewing gum.

        http://www.511tactical.com/footwear/shoes.html

        • Khavrinen

          Tactical shoes and cargo shorts: Best way to pick up all the hot chicks!

          • therblig

            sorry baby, i don’t wear a suppressor.

        • Permit-holder Ron

          I prefer strategic shoes. Tactical shoes help you get where you’re going, but strategic shoes make sure you take the easiest route. Oh, and logistic shoes make sure you take everything you need on the trip.

          • Erala Contratista

            Are they analog?
            Asking for a fiend….

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Maybe they meant loiterers? Don’t you dare just stand around!

      • WotsAllThisThen

        I think the chances of one of them shooting themselves in the foot while standing around is pretty good too.

      • Aren’t they all loitering as that picture is being taken?

        • Permit-holder Ron

          Ooh, paradox!

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        “LOITERERS WILL BE SHIT ON-SITE”

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        But are they just standing around or STANDING THEIR GROUND.

    • Khavrinen

      “You kin take muh gun make me spel ovur my ded body!”

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Storage Wars really took a dark turn this season.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      You get to use only so many “O”s in a warning sign, wherever they land…

    • Christopher Story

      No, those are the dropouts

    • pstockholm

      I see meal team six got spiffy new uniforms.

    • P’jama Pahnts

      They can’t freakin’ wait to shoot someone. Amazing.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Damned lotters!

    • Bobathonic

      BOT,K

      Those guys look excited at the chance to murder.

    • Lefty Wright

      False flag!

      • SeeTrain65

        Too true. No star.

    • diogenez

      I could be wrong, but I think that should say “shooted.”

    • Paul

      They got PART of the uniform right with those khakis but but but where are the WHITE polo shirts? Bigly sad.

    • SeeTrain65

      Maik Texiss Grate Agin!

  • laineypc

    Help me think this through. The abomination in the White House says to everyone being investigated “go ahead and refuse those subpoenas, I got your pardon right here in my tiny hands”. So they go ahead and he pardons in a way that pardoning is not supposed to be done, possibly unconstitutional(? did I read that the Arpaio pardon could be challenged in court?) would THIS be enough for Repubs in Congress to finally say nuh-uh we gotta impeach?

    • Antonin Dvorak

      In theory…

    • YoBunnyBunny

      The Repubs in Congress are forever finding new ways to service Trump’s grundle.

      • I thought that was called the taint. Which is particularly apt for Trump.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      No way. For Republicans the only impeachable offense is not getting their tax cuts.

      • spangled

        lol, great minds…

    • spangled

      only thing that could ever get him impeached by republicans is refusing to sign their tax plan.

    • BrendaKay

      No. They will never impeach. No matter how many ways he humiliates them and ruins the country. There is nothing he can do. If there was, we’d be popping corn for hearings right now.

    • Ms.Moon

      Trump can pardon people on federal offences but I wouldn’t be surprised that there will be state charges lobbed against members of his circle. If thed run them on RICO and other such related charges they will still go down for long stretches because Schneiderman is working on this in New York as well.

  • mailman27

    I would personally enjoy seeing Michael “Lock Her UP!” Flynn doing a perp walk. Also too losing some of that big man military rank.

    • And the Keebler Elf. I want that mother fucker taken down.

      • chicken thief

        I am shocked that Elmer Fudd looking motherfucker didn’t try to halt the Arpaio investigation when Trump asked him to. Maybe he does have some little tiny balls floating around in his nut sack.

  • calliecallie

    Here’s a joke I made up yesterday while doing laundry that proves this Trump administration is making me lose my mind:
    Q: What does Bob Mueller call a mustard stain?
    A: An unbleachable offence.
    Ba-dum-tsch! Don’t forget to tip your waitress. I’ll be here all week.

  • The Librarian

    “Michael Flynn, like Peter Smith, is a conspiracy theory-addicted crank”. You mean like most of Trump’s cabinet and his supporters? I’ve never seen a bigger bunch of loons who believe this shit and openly admit it in my life.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Worse are the media pundits and basic voters who think this team of nutballs is in any way “normal”.

      • OutOfOrbit

        or going away anytime soon

      • The Librarian

        I’m just aghast at some of the media. As someone who grew up reading newspapers, magazines and listening to teevee news, I can’t even anymore (except a very few). Wtf has happened? I know, facts are pesky things that get in the way of money and ratings

        • Beanz&Berryz

          It’s not so bad, because I get my news from the Wonkette, a journalistic convergence of NPR, The Daily Show, and The Economist…

          • The Librarian

            Lol, yes, it’s one of my go-tos as well. Can you tell?

          • Beanz&Berryz

            It really is a bit like The Economist, also too… Back in the day before the interwebz when I had time to sit and read, I subscribed to The Economist for a couple years. More than one time I was aware of things in the world a month or two before they made it to the regular U.S. media. Wonkette is like that, but more fun. And, there’s not that feckin “Finance” section that I never, ever once could understand…

          • Erala Contratista

            Yeah, I read it for a couple of years, but fell behind. In my family everyone, including kids, read the New Yorker and the running gag was
            “I’m 2 weeks behind”
            Or
            “Just when you think you finished that long article, you turn the page and Aaaaahhhh! There’s more!”

          • The Librarian

            I used to read The Economist as well, since we received it at work. I find that even now foreign press is often ahead of us. That’s why I subscribe to both WaPo and The Guardian. I just get headlines from NYT; since the election they can kiss my ass.

            I’ve gotten better at the financials, but it’s literally taken years.

          • Hemp Dogbane

            You left out Tiger Beat.

          • Three Finger Salute

            I wouldn’t be surprised if they did get into politics at some point. After all, Teen Vogue did.

          • Wonkette, your only source of truth in world events, saturated in snark.

        • Permit-holder Ron

          What happened? CNN happened. Yes, there were other things, but 24-hour cable news changed even the DEFINITION of ‘news.’

          • The Librarian

            True that. Also, any loon can get on cable and preach lies and hate.

          • Three Finger Salute

            The Internet only made it worse. Literally anyone can open up a Blogger or WordPress account now and call themselves an “independent columnist.” Then join a crew of like-minded sickos on social media and forums.

          • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

            CNN wasn’t so bad until Gulf War I – prior to that, most of the shows in the evenings were stolid, interesting but not sensationalized, roundtables and discussion programs. CNN Headline News was the round-the-clock, 24-hour, all your news in 30 minutes or less channel.

          • Permit-holder Ron

            These days I find HLN easier to take. Just the news, no editorialising. Usually.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Reagan killed the Fairness Doctrine and Murdoch blood money unleashed the virulent plague of Ailes Disease onto the nation.

          Now even “liberal” CNN has to engage in bothsiderism in order to avoid being perceived as “impartial.” Remember this?

          http://img.usmagazine.com/article-leads-horizontal/disgusting-f1560f86-6dde-4d68-9398-6aeb43dc32ef.jpg

          • The Librarian

            Alas, I do. :P

  • Joe Beese
    • OutOfOrbit

      lemme guess: with orders to shoot & kill POC who they suspect may eventually loot something (like water) from a flooded store

      • Red Bird

        Probably not.

    • Red Bird

      About time.

    • SeeTrain65

      Nice work, Gov. Because when the flood waters are at their peak, THAT’S when you begin bailing and putting up sandbags.

  • John McLaughlin

    I wonder what DJT actually thinks about his chances? Is all of this just one big ruse? Will we all look back and wonder what the hell happened to Trump as he is taken away to prison??

    • We shall see, it’s going to get worse before it gets better, this I know.

    • therblig

      no way pence pardons trumpy. given what it will finally take for the scumbag gop to impeach and convict him, showing any sympathy will be terminally toxic to any future election chances. pence will go one about egregious high crimes and misdemeanors and “i never knew nothing”.

      and it’s not as if trumpy is going to sit him down and extract a promise to pardon – that would be admitting guilt.

      trumpy is screwed.

      • susan_g

        Yeah, it would be just like pence to “guarantee” cheeto a pardon and then let him hang after he resigned. Much better optics for mikey’s 2010 campaign.

        • Ms.Moon

          Except that Pence is also complicit as well he’s smartly lawyered up and isn’t saying much. He’s also in on the grift and Trump will definitely throw him under the bus, back it up and run him over again.

  • stankbait

    Trump will probably pardon them before they are even charged.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      That would not be a smart move – with pardon in hand, they can’t invoke the Fifth, so Mueller can subpoena them and they have no way to avoid answering questions.

      • OutOfOrbit

        you did say “smart” so …

      • SirFartzAlot

        I invoked a fifth of bourbon last night, not sure which option is worse.

      • Red Bird

        Maybe that’s the plan.

      • Covfefe

        “nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself. . . .”

  • Proud Liberal
    • Three Finger Salute

      Silly Slate writer. IOKIYAWRR (It’s OK if you’re a white, rich Republican) is the only indispensable, foundational norm of American constitutional order.

      Anything else is communism.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      That pardon was disgusting- I would prefer that it be one of a very long list of impeachable offenses (they seem to be growing by the day) so there is no justification whatsoever for allowing him to stay in office.

    • Christopher Story

      Ryan will let Trump burn America to the ground for a Tax Cut. Sure, brown people in concentration camps is aweful, and the public executions are disgusting, but look how much money I just saved the 1%! Lets all go eat caviar!

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        “I am troubled by the actions of white supremacists, and the roving bands of racial purifiers. But as yet I see no reason not to continue to support the President’s business-friendly agenda.”

        • Christopher Story

          You nailed it.

        • Three Finger Salute

          #GreenbacksMatter

          -Lyin’ Ryan

    • Covfefe

      Good case. For impeachment. But the politics, for Trump’s base, and, as a result, for Goppers in Congress, is upside Donald. (FWIW, I wanted to write upside down. “Upside Donald” was autocorrect’s idea.)

      • Three Finger Salute

        Wow. The AI really has become sentient. More intelligent than the subhuman it’s referring to.

      • Weird Fishes

        Sooooooo much winning.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Well Trump was right. I am sick of the winning.

  • Little Lulu Ω

    About this “Trump Tower: Moscow” thang. The timeline I was reading this morning (either at the lying NYTimes or at WaPo) (I can’t remember) (I’m old) was pretty interesting. I know that Trump wanted this Tower to be built; but financing would have been impossible, given Trump’s predilection for not repaying the loans he receives. Which means exclusive Russian financing for a Russian/Trump venture.

    But the Russians wouldn’t bankroll some soulless, high-profile, high-rolling grifter’s venture with a billion bucks or more unless they could convince the Trump Organization to play ball in a Russian game by Russian rules. And since the Russians’ primary opponent is the good ol’ USA, a guaranteed win would be the only reason to play.

    And the most effective way to play for a guaranteed win is to place an operative with clout on the other side’s team and have him voted captain by the other team’s members. So, the Russians say, “Donald, you’re running for President! We’ll see to it!” Trump does so, and the hacking and fake news begins in earnest.

    Trump wins the election, shocking everyone, including the Russians, even though they’d invested heavily in a rigged crapshoot that was still a crapshoot (sorry, switching metaphors). The Trump people immediately set out to collect, dispatching Prince Jared (and, much earlier, Beauregard Sessions) to see Kislyak and set up a direct channel to Putin from the Russian Embassy. “We won the election, now you have to erase our debts and build us a Trump Tower! Also, there’s that white elephant I purchased on Park Avenue that needs a buyer, ahem.”

    Sorry, that’s all the energy I have for this right now. Much better minds than mine already put this scenario together long ago; but the truth is coming out and all this horrid shit will be obvious and distasteful and treasonous to anyone. In the meantime the movement of the Mueller investigation might seem glacial, but that suits me fine. He’ll get there.

    • Permit-holder Ron

      Could quibble on details, but yeah, that’s just how this feels. Certainly the biggest part of it was to get the sanctions lifted, which would be more than worth letting Two Scoops build (or at least plan to build) some tacky tower in Moscow. Hell, they’d just as likely have planned to deny him his tower once they had what they wanted – who’d he complain to?

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Easy as shooting crap in a barrel…

    • Christopher Story

      Glaciers, while slow, are irresistible forces of nature. They grind mountains to dust. And Donnie is no mountain.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      I still think “Russian financing” means money laundering for oligarchs.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Always.

      • Rags

        Would make the Russian oligarchs laundering through the NY Tower look like small timers.

      • Christopher Story

        My pet theory is, given the specialties of Mueller’s team, he’s going so slow because his team is scraping together every last scrap of evidence they can to use in an international economic and political corruption case. Kill as many birds as they can with their one stone. So that, when Mueller finally does drop the hammer, it’s going to be a proverbial bloodbath.

        • Weird Fishes

          There is zero tolerance for mistakes here. One misstep and the whole thing will crumble. Not because the case is weak, but because the PR shitshow that would accompany it will drown out honest voices.

          That’s the biggest problem that Mueller faces, in my eyes. He’s an honest man, and Donny and his henchmen are not. They’re used to trimming their sails to the wind.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Kind of like “Hollywood accounting”.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          and “Trump accounting” and “Kushner accounting.”

  • proudgrampa

    So is shit getting really real?

    • Proud Liberal

      The wheels of justice move very slowly.

      • proudgrampa

        Indeed.

      • Weird Fishes

        But they grind fine.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    oh ffs:

    Disgraced ex-Sheriff Joe Arpaio was officially pardoned by President Donald Trump last week — and now he might help the president exact revenge against one of his rivals within the GOP.

    In an interview with the Washington Examiner, the 85-year-old Arpaio said he’s weighing several options for what to do next now that he’s been pardoned by the president.

    “I could run for mayor, I could run for legislator, I could run for Senate,” Arpaio explained.

    Arpaio said that a lot of people asked him to challenge Flake in a primary race next year, although he hasn’t made any firm commitment either way yet.

    “All I’m saying is the door is open and we’ll see what happens,” he said. “I’ve got support. I know what support I have.”

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/08/ive-got-support-pardoned-sheriff-joe-arpaio-considers-running-against-gop-sen-jeff-flake/

    • eyelashviper

      And when he is hit will millions of dollars in civil lawsuits against him for his abuse and torture of innocent people, will his goober fans lend him some monies?

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        there’s already a go fund me or whatever to pay off his legal bills from this last go round.

        But yeah, probably.

        • Shanzgood

          How? By accepting the pardon, he admited to being guilty of the crime/s.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            civil contempt part? I dunno – and i think the county also had to spend money defending him.

            I just saw a post somewhere about a tweet of his begging for money RIGHT after the pardon.

          • Shanzgood

            I just wondered because I thought gofundme had a policy of not allowing that.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            no, you’re right about it. I may not be that website, just a general fund they’re collecting.

          • Sophia

            Could have been set up before the pardon, maybe they’ll toss him off now. I know he was asking for money because he is going to pursue the “injustice” that he was even charged at all but I think that was “please make your checks payable to Ex-sheriff Joe.”

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Less support than was needed to get elected Sheriff in his county…

    • Oblios_Cap

      That’s a lot of evil to have to carry around for 87 years.

    • Amelia Resists and Persists

      Dude, they wouldn’t even reelect you Sheriff. The only reason to elect you to the Senate would be to get you out of Arizona altoge…

      Oh shit.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Roy Moore might end up in the lege somewhere too.

        I think a lot of Americans are going to end up graduating from 21st amendment solutions to 2nd amendment solutions. Smith & Wesson self-lobotomy.

    • Bobathonic

      He should run for the border.

      • therblig

        he should run for his appointment in samarra.

    • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

      “I’ve got support.” At 85, he must be talking about his stockings.

    • Ms.Moon

      What ex-Sheriff Joe needs to do is watch his stuff because he’s accepted the pardon that means that he’s basically said I’m guilty of all this….stuff and his victims can sue him for damages his pension might just be gone and if I lived in his state after paying out how many millions in damages I wouldn’t let him show his face in public I’d shun him and his family so hard.

  • writersbloc

    This seems to be stuck at the top of my twitter feed.

    https://twitter.com/20committee/status/901992725288976385

    • Oblios_Cap

      Sounds good!

    • eyelashviper

      Felix Burgers, want fries with that?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Felix got in a fix and he reached into his bag of tricks?

    • Sophia

      Josh at TPM has been working the Sater angle for a long time. Guess he knew what he was talking about.

      • bbayliss

        Josh Marshall has been a treasure.

    • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

      I disagree with John Schindler: I think it will not only be pretty, but it will be BEAUTIFUL!

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    You mean we, the American public, were lied to?! Well, this is the last time I’ll trust anything out of Dumbass’s mouth. You know what they say, fool me 1000 times, shame on you, but that 1001st time, we don’t get fooled again.
    https://twitter.com/TeaPainUSA/status/901982326569275392

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Well his lady-lawyer did say he had nothing to do with Russkies–“with few exceptions.”

  • Claire

    OT: Because the rampant flooding was just not bad enough:

    https://twitter.com/Mike_Hixenbaugh/status/902148975427547136

    • eyelashviper

      Fire ants never die, and they survive even monstrous floods by becoming rafts, and cling together until the waters subside. Seriously, I saw this many times in south Florida.

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        So, they weren’t on Noah’s Ark? How is that science?

        • george lastrapes

          Noah came to Texas to get fire ants. That’s one of the lost chapters of Genesis.

          • eyelashviper

            And Killer Bees, also too..

    • Oblios_Cap

      Here in the south, you learn very quickly that fire ants float.

    • Sophia

      Gah! At least you can see a gator coming at you from a few feet away

    • VirginiaWackelpudding

      If those are fire ants then yes, gasoline and matches are acceptable.

      • therblig

        i agree – “you’re fired” is appropriate

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Beanz&Berryz

      Stripper is much harder to deny than escort….

      • Shanzgood

        “Glamour model”

        • Anna Rompage

          Performance artist?

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Glamour panties model…

          • Wild Cat

            The First Hashmark Family

          • Paperless Tiger

            Minus panties. It pays to advertise.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            You find the BEST husbands that way…

        • george lastrapes

          Any truth to the story that the Donald picked her out of a catalog? A catalog of suitable beauties from the former Soviet bloc? s she his handler?

          • Shanzgood

            No idea.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            I’ve often wondered that, along with the nutty right wing blogger guy with the former soviet block wife.

          • george lastrapes

            Who’s the nutty blogger? I’d like to ask him if he knows how Gorka got so far with such sketchy credentials. Oh, and my spellchecker highlights Gorka even though I’m spelling it right. Is it trying to warn me about something?

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist
          • george lastrapes

            I misinterpreted. You were wondering ABOUT the nutty blogger, I thought you were wondering about the SAME THING that the nutty blogger was. Now I see. And in his case I think ‘blogger’ is a typo. Somebody meant to type ‘boogereater’, and the typo has stuck. But thanks, a hoot to read about his inanity.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            But what I wondered was is she his handler?

          • george lastrapes

            Posobiec’s wife? Interesting- but I think all Boogereater needs is a preloaded debit card. Instructions from the Kremlin are diffused over the entire boogersphere. And I suspect posobiec is Polish for boogereater.
            I have wondered, along with many others, whether Melania is the PeeResident’s handler.

    • BigCSouthside

      How does he always pick the cut of hat that looks terrible on everyone?

    • Three Finger Salute

      I miss them.

    • Proud Liberal

      And the grifter keeps on grifting.

    • I’m pretty sure she wasn’t a strupper… I mean a nude lesbian model and probable prostitute, but let’s keep it accurate!

    • chicken thief

      I get the sentiment but frankly am not a fan of bashing Melania, especially for acts 25 yrs ago.

      Donald has given us plenty of fodder for hating him. Unless she starts bashing Michelle, I am willing to give Melania a pass.

      • Daniel

        Melania did excuse supporters of Trump harassing an interviewer she thought had been unfair to her by threatening her with murder and sending her gas-chamber memes (the reporter is Jewish).

        I agree that picking on her for her career is wrong- even if she had been a stripper there’s nothing wrong with that- and there are definitely reasons to criticise her beyond that.

        • chicken thief

          “… she thought had been unfair to her by threatening her with murder and sending her gas-chamber memes…”

          WHAT?! I did not know that. Fuck that cunt Melania.

          • Daniel

            “I don’t control my fans,” Melania said in an interview with DuJour.
            “But I don’t agree with what they’re doing. I understand what you mean,
            but there are people out there who maybe went too far. She provoked them.”

            Melania speaks.

        • Red Bird

          Disagree. The criticism of Melanesia isn’t her former job but the hipocracy of presenting herself as better than other illegal immigrants who had to do the same things she did to have a life in America. She should be more sympathetic but she isn’t.

      • gffish

        Don’t forget that before she was FLOTUS, Melania was also an avid birther. She’s also a speech thief (even though she did have enough sense to not say that she was from a poor black family on Chicago’s South Side).

  • Sophia

    Can I point out that the way Mueller broke the Enron. When one (can’t remember which) of the principal’s wife was charged with tax evasion, the dude started talking.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      I didn’t know that… That was a HUGE deal…

    • Red Bird

      Lea Weingarten

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Proud Liberal

      I really like Ali Velshi!

  • george lastrapes

    Were the Russian pee hookers the girlfriends of the Russian poo hackers?

  • MynameisBlarney
  • writersbloc
    • ariel_gee_398

      I maintain that the only truthful statement to ever come out of Donnie’s piehole was the one about wishing he could date/bang his daughter.

      • writersbloc

        That… and sadly the thing about shooting someone in the middle of 5th avenue seems oddly correct.

        • Weird Fishes

          and why not. He’s killing America on the daily news cycle.

      • Cat Cafe for the Resignation

        Don’t forget “I’m President, can you believe it?”

    • eyelashviper

      If Sater has flipped, as is rumored, Donnie is Toast, burnt and out…

  • Last Hussar

    Evan, think you might want to check your phrasing. The way it read is Manafort is tied to Russia by Pro EU campaign. Russia is against former SSRs joining the EU.

    The parliament was pro EU, the President pro Russia. When he ignored a parliamentary vote to face west, and cosied up to Putin, they LEGALLY held a CONSTITUTIONAL vote to get rid of him. The pro Russia net commenters falsely claimed that this was all an illegal uprising backed by the EU, misrepresenting the situation (colour me shocked). The Russian minority refused to accept the primacy of parliament, leading to Putin ‘protecting’ them.

    I doubt any Russian ties is about being pro EU.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Same old same old Russian shenanigans like Czechoslovakia in ’68.

    • Lord Jim

      I was wondering about that.

    • Red Bird

      Not on the surface.

    • Cat Cafe for the Resignation

      There was that whole Crimea land grab, too. I had to read that sentence twice–I think Evan may have meant he was *pretending* to be pro-EU while working to undermine the movement. Thank you for pointing this out and providing more information.

  • Three Finger Salute

    OT (although I don’t know if ongoing hurricane-related news is entirely OT):

    Flashback: Trump took $17M payout for hurricane damage to Mar-a-Lago that reportedly only cost $3K

    Gee, I wonder what happened to the rest of that $16,997,000?

    Bob, over to you…

    • eyelashviper

      The BEST slices of chocolate cake.

    • Wonder how many charities trump will rip off in Houston.

      • Lefty Wright

        I wonder how many thousands of cases of Trump water the government will buy on no bid contracts.

    • chicken thief

      He plans to donate it to a veteran’s organization. The details to be released along with his tax returns and Melania’s various immigration statuses in a couple of weeks.

    • TundraGrifter

      The Trump Organization got a significant tax break in NYC allocated to small businesses badly hit by the 9/11 attacks. His enterprise qualified as a small business based on the number of employees – not income. Although he said he didn’t suffer any losses, he took the credit.

      Mr. Trump said he donated money to the Twin Tower Fund – but they have no record of it.

  • doktorzoom

    Pizzagate troll has been banhammered, is has-been.

    — Dok Zoom, Yr Friendly Neighborhood Comments Moderator

    • eyelashviper

      Spayed and neutered before being released back into the wild???

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yes, via rusty banhammer!

    • Cheers Dok. 👏

      It was turning up my cranky dial.

    • Sophia

      Sheesh, I always miss the trolls.

      • Lefty Wright

        Getting a couple of comments from a troll can be entertaining and a window into the right wing derposphere, but you can have too much of a bad thing very quickly.

      • Weird Fishes

        I know, me too. But ask not for whom Dok’s antennae twitch, they twitch for thee.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Was that the one posting his fetish, er, um I mean, the Michelle Obama has a peen BS?

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Trump, nor anyone around him, never expected him to be elected president. They were all on board to grift as much as they could before the inevitable loss. And here we are.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Putin is still eating popcorn because basically, he destroyed the USA. We’re at a point now where we need Partition and an EU-Canadian Marshall Plan. I seriously doubt they’re interested in “nation building,” which means stick a fork in this eagle, it’s done.

  • Blackest Noobs

    Trump pardoning the shitty sheriff has opened the door for civil suits against the shitty sheriff.

    why? because the pardon = the shitty sheriff committed a crime.

    lawyers for the other side ( i.e. the brown people the shitty sheriff abuse of their rights) are drooling.

    Trump, always makes the wrong move.

    • Lefty Wright

      Yeah, there was a good chance Arpaio would have never seen the inside of a cell, looking out through the bars. Appeals alone could have drug it out a few years. I hope he gets nailed on civil suits.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        But is Maricopa County on the hook to defend him, or must he personally defend himself?

        • Christopher Story

          He’s a private citizen again, now. So I would assume he’d have to defend himself.

          • chicken thief

            I would not assume that. IIRC, acts are typically covered by the employer at the time of the occurrence. But then I’m neither a lawyer nor am I familiar with AZ law.

          • Lefty Wright

            The fact that he is an elected official may have an impact also. The county, technically, did not hire him. Generally, elected officials have a broad exemption from actions taken as part of their duties. But I doubt that intentionally disregarding court orders would be one of their duties.

        • Lefty Wright

          I don’t know, but I bet they will make the argument he was operating outside the scope of his employment and is on his own. Sort of like a UPS driver using his UPS truck as a get away vehicle in a bank robbery. The court case was against him personally and I don’t think the county covered any of that.

          • Manhattan123

            As long as they don’t screw up my Amazon delivery, I don’t care what they do with the trucks on their free time.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Anything that makes Maricopa County hate him more and the Donald, too is OK by me.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          So long as spends the rest of his natural life going to court and paying lawyers and being despised by decent people everywhere, I’m good with it.

    • TundraGrifter

      While the real world is playing multi-dimensional chess, he’s playing tic-tac-toe. Poorly.

    • sarafina

      Yes, I eagerly await Joe’s being taken to court by brown people.

  • Zyxomma

    Lock. Them. Up.

  • Manhattan123

    I hope Flynn, especially, does time. He is repugnant.

    • exinkwretch

      The Skinheads will hail him as a hero and fight among themselves to claim him as their own.

      • Red Bird

        Well he is.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        The chrome dome is the only honest thing about him.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Manafort is the link to the Russkis, though. He’s smack in the middle of dicking with the GOP platform as a favor to Putin, and I’m 100% certain that Il Douche was in on it.

  • wait! what?
  • Daniel Hooper

    Wonkette, stop being so cheeky. Adding butt references to everything is just toilet humor. Flush this nonsense and get back to work being serious. Show some ass… er, class.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      It’s just fundamentally wrong, no butts about it.

      • chicken thief

        These puns crack me up!

        • Cat Cafe for the Resignation

          Always the butt of every joke.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Thanks but we aren’t doing it for the acclaim. This isn’t a popolarity contest.

        • Jimh

          Taint my cup of tea

        • From Russia With A Permit

          I know. I’m laughing like crazy and all I did was take a glans at this thread.

      • Yellerduck

        Yeah, these people…what a bunch of bums.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          I’m as bad as any of them, I confesse. I am guilty of a posteriori reasoning. And yes, I can do better, in a rear-end deal. I will take a Hint(ern.) And if somebody gives me the low knee, he can expect the heinie back.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Dick jokes and butt jokes go together like… well… I don’t know, dicks and Those Cakes We Like?

      • AuntyMaude

        Spotted Dick?

    • We can do ass jokes AND srs jounalmalisms. Take that NBC

      • Jimh

        and CBaaaSS

        • H0mer0

          but I like Dan Rather…He and Cronkite are the only reasons I have any respect for them

    • TundraGrifter

      Wipe that smile off your…whatever.

    • SeeTrain65

      When it comes to comedy, Daniel, you wrecked ’em.

      • H0mer0

        rectum? urine only encouraging him.

        (sorry, poor effort)

        • SeeTrain65

          It came to me in a stream of consciousness.

  • BearLeft

    Hmmm, in the ass of an asshole … presents all sorts of epistemological and ontological questions …. Like did he have to buy them dinner or something first?

    • Opiwan

      With those 2, I’d be more worried about the epidemiological implications…

    • H0mer0

      the rectum is kind of like the eye (the ‘red eye’ if you will, nyurk) of a hurricane so
      (I kinda forgot what my point (hah!)was in my hurry to make a puerile simile.)

  • Last Hussar

    I’m going to rain on your parade. Mueller’s report goes in confidence to the deputy AG, (because the AG is recused). He decides what to do with it.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      but it would get published (or more likely leaked), right?

      I seem to remember stacks of bound copies of Ken Starr’s report on Bill.

      • H0mer0

        I do also but haven’t we established after the latest attempt at ACA repeal that reading is not a priority for “patriots”?

    • chiefkurtz

      From Order No. 3915-2017
      “(c) If the Special Counsel believes it is necessary and appropriate, the Special Counsel is authorized to prosecute federal crimes arising from the investigation of these matters.”
      He doesn’t need permission, and Rosenstein isn’t going to be allowed to withhold findings from the Senate Judiciary Committee.

  • mardam422

    I’m not sure. But I think I’m uncomfortable with using the phrase “drip, drip, drip” wit a headline that says someone is in someone else’s ass. Maybe I’m wrong.

  • susan_g

    Every day the themes should be Russia and mental competence (lack of it).

  • Celtic_Gnome

    And this is why it feels like we’ve been saddled with this shitheel as predisent for ten fucking years. I’m exhausted just reading this post.

    • Maybe

      Supposedly a dog year is the equivalent of 7 human years.

      A Trump year is the equivalent of a human century.

  • thatdamnbob

    Doing my part to see that the whole of the commentariat (figuratively) be up to date culturally on the current meaning of the word literally, which, formally, means literally, and informally means not literally, the opposite of literally or the anti-literally, and this according to the heavy lumber Oxford’s Unabridged:
    Definition of literally in English:

    literally
    ADVERB

    1In a literal manner or sense; exactly.
    ‘the driver took it literally when asked to go straight over the roundabout’
    ‘tiramisu, literally translated ‘pull-me-up’’
    More example sentencesSynonyms
    1.1informal Used for emphasis while not being literally true.
    ‘I was literally blown away by the response I got’
    More example sentences
    Usage
    In its standard use literally means ‘in a literal sense, as opposed to a non-literal or exaggerated sense’, as for example in I told him I never wanted to see him again, but I didn’t expect him to take it literally. In recent years an extended use of literally (and also literal) has become very common, where literally (or literal) is used deliberately in non-literal contexts, for added effect, as in they bought the car and literally ran it into the ground. This use can lead to unintentional humorous effects (we were literally killing ourselves laughing) and is not acceptable in formal contexts, though it is widespread
    Pronunciation
    literally/ˈlɪt(ə)rəli/

    so, literally can be read 2 different ways, just as “you are a piece of shit” is considered an insult, and “you are the shit”, complimentary, literally can mean literally or its opposite. That’s sick. Which means, literally, ah, nevvermind

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Oh wouldn’t it be delicious irony if H’s emails are what brings down DJT?

  • Maybe

    If Trump were to pardon Manafort/Flynn any time soon then they could not take the 5th to avoid testifying. Refusing to testify after a pardon, or lying, would result in possible new contempt or criminal charges.

    If Trump implies he will pardon them later, then I’ve got a bridge I can sell them. These guys know Trump. Why on earth would they trust him?

    • From Russia With A Permit

      Like I’ve said before, if these dickheads have violated federal law, they have likely violated some state laws as well. The president can only pardon federal crimes. I do believe some nice prosecutors in NY would love to get all up in Trump’s business there.

      • Maybe

        There may even be other countries waiting in the wings. Mexico could sue for slander and blackmail.

  • SullivanSt

    When did Mueller add JB Smoove to the team?

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CEhk5N32Tec

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Just wondering if anything anybody in the Drumpf administration has ever denied has ever been shown not to have in fact happened. Seems to me they’re batting 0.000 in the denials business.

  • phoenix00
  • Wolf Tracker

    Everything I have read says a president can not pardon co-conspirators in a crime to obstruct justice. The pardon would be challenged to SCOTUS.

    A pardon is also an admission of guilt and does not prevent state and civil lawsuits and there are at least two state investigations into Trump in NY and Maryland for possible RICO violations.

    If Pence became VP he could pardon Trump but doing so would probably end his chance at a run for president and his career so Trump has to worry about that.

    I don’t see much of a way for Trump to escape justice unless he agrees to resign in disgrace in exchange for Mueller dropping any serious charges like they did with Nixon.

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