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WHOA, we have many newses for your this Monday morning, Wonketariat! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today!

Hurricane Harvey has left large areas of Houston, Texas, underwater, with an expected $2 billion in economic losses and 30,000 people expected to seek refuge in shelters as rivers are expected to rise up to 60 feet. Residents are now being told to evacuate, if they can. Look for the helpers! (They’re EVERYWHERE.)

A 52-year-old man was arrested for firing a gun during the “Unite the Right” neo-Nazi rally in Charlottesville, and an 18-year-old was arrested for the beating of Deandre Harris, while a 33-year-old Georgia man remains on the run for his alleged role in the assault.

Trump tweeted some things about Hurricane Harvey and announced that he’d somehow take a trip to what’s left of Houston Texas on Tuesday, and with those tweets Donald Trump became president.

If you have friends and family in areas of Texas and Louisiana, you should make them aware of insurance scams and potentially life threatening fake news stories circulating on social media.

Trump was trying to build a trash palace in Moscow during the primaries, and was encouraged to give Putin some verbal blow-jobs in return for a bit of a reach around during the election.

Bob Mueller has sent subpoenas to two big DC lobbying firms for their records on dealings Paul Manafort had with Not-American pro-Putin puppets who have a fetish for killing dissidents.

Tea Party crazies are pissed Trump’s White House keeps blowing them off on tax reform, but the White House is trying to pass the buck on to Congress.

The Trump administration will let local police departments buy heavy military surplus gear so that they have an easier time thumping the skulls of hippy protesters and arresting “bad hombres.”

Not even REXXON will back Trump’s Nazi bullshit! During an appearance on Fox News Sunday, Tillerson told Chris Wallace, “The president speaks for himself,” when asked about Charlottesville.

Residents of Trumplandia are grabbing their pitchforks and tiki torches and getting ready to march on the State Department, and even the career diplomats are openly bitching about Trump and Tillerson’s policies (or lack thereof), stating “Yes, diplomats do prefer diplomacy.”

A few unlikely Republicans are joining Democrats in bucking changes to the National Flood Insurance Program that would leave all the poors in coastal states hung out to dry.

The Muslim Ban travel restrictions on ethnic minorities is back in court, and today’s ruling is expected to deal with which refugees are exempted. Ay dios mio, no es bueno!

The Pentagon says it isn’t deliberately hiding total troop numbers in Iraq and Afghanistan, it simply doesn’t count temps (just like corporate America).

We’re about to dump a ton of Ameros on modernizing our decaying nuclear arsenal, but we may end up triggering another nuclear arms race. Be sure and remember to duck and cover, kids!

Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke is looking at easing offshore drilling restrictions put in place to prevent things like the 2010 Deepwater Horizon oil catastro-fuck now that there haven’t been any major oil disasters. Fingers crossed!

Fatigued sailors are raising alarms in the wake of naval accidents like the USS McCain and USS Fitzgerald, with investigators finding that a lack of sleep and mounting stress have been causing them to crash out on the job.

A video has leaked of Defense Secretary Jim Mattis telling a group of soldiers to “hold the line” until we beat back the haters.

Steve Bannon is promising to “never turn” on Trump, however he is threatening to “light up” Mitch McConnell now that he has the “power.” Gee, it’s tough to imagine why anyone would accuse this guy of trying to suck his own dick.

The massive backlog of background checks for federal workers has gotten so bad that OPM isn’t even going to bother reporting the numbers of people waiting for approval.

In a desperate attempt to secure their white privilege, Alabama unveiled a new statue to honor unknown Confederate soldiers.

Students in an Alabama high school started an Internet petition to remove an LGBQT rainbow flag that is disenfranchising all the white, cis-gendered students, but they’re all too chicken shit to actually give it to the school.

Oklahoma charities are helping local teachers keep their heads just above water so they don’t drown in student loan debt and pay cuts.

An Oklahoma police chief has been yanked from his Nazi closet after a local news station noticed a striking similarity between their new chief and the owner of a neo-Nazi record label.

Old stories about Joe Arpaio are beginning to resurface, like the time Arpaio framed a man for a fake murder plot, and all the alleged rapists and child molesters whom he let get away. Also, sometimes he did abuse of power to white people!

Leaked chat logs from “alt-right” forums will be key evidence in prosecuting neo-Nazi protesters accused of inciting violence in Charlottesville, but they claim that they were only joking when they talked about feeding Latino people into tractor combines and shooting antifa protesters with assault weapons.

While Trump hid behind Twitter and bitched about his Tortilla Curtain, Mexico offered aid for victims of Hurricane Harvey, as well as a reminder that it’s not going to pay for that fucking wall.

Israelis have giant boners for Prince Kushner’s failures in the Middle East peace process.

Meet Princess Ivanka’s deadbeat svengali, Moshe Lax, who’s been ripping off the super rich left and right while whispering sweet nothingness into her ear.

NICE TIME! While accepting an award at the VMAs, Pink gave a powerful speech in defense of weird people who look how they look, and do their own thing. YOU WATCH IT RIGHT NOW!

And here’s your morning Nice Time! A ZEBRA FOAL! (That’s baby in horsey-speak!)

We’re working overtime to bring you all the newses we can, but we need your help! Give us money so we can keep mainlining coffee!

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  • Msgr_MΩment
    • Msgr_MΩment
      • FlemmishSpy

        What’s for dinner?

      • coozledad

        They’ve got him by the ears. I can hear him through the photograph.

      • TundraGrifter

        Glad to see the little guy from the insurance commercials came out ok.

        • Persistent Tennessee Rain

          For some strange reason, the commercial with the pig on the zip line with the pin wheels shouting, “Weeeee” always tickled my funny bone.

          • TundraGrifter

            I still think it’s hilarious.

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    Houston is as underwater as Trump’s approval ratings. Hee-yuk.

    • FlemmishSpy

      Twitler and Houston have a shit soup base.

      • SterWonk

        Houston (and Austin, San Antonio, Dallas, etc) are fine. It’s the great swaths of red between them which is Texas’s problem…

    • Rick Hill

      Don’t exaggerate. Houston’s not doing that badly, yet.

  • OddMan

    It is a little late in the game for this but here is one of the best weather information sources for Houston I found. This guy know his weather.

    https://spacecityweather.com/

  • Michael R
    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Sometimes all you can do is laugh.

    • FlemmishSpy

      Mexico is definitely paying for it.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Oh my!

    • Gayer Than Thou

      It’s raining men! Hallelujah!

      • Canned Covfefe

        I laughed. I will also have that song in my head all day! There are far worse. Memories of Gay night at the local “club.”

    • Msgr_MΩment

      El Paso is actually Spanish for ‘anal sphincter’. Not a lot of people know that.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Well, it is kind of a shithole down there, so…

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        “San Diego” means “whale’s vagina.”

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Everything is bigger in Tejas.

  • La forza del resistino

    Donald’s Sheriff Joe pardon gives tacit approval to skeevy policing tactics. Sheriff David Clarke says, hold my beer, watch this Milwaukee.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I would guess that there’s lots of room for career advancement for a Nazi chief of police in the Trump administration.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Why do they all run White Power record labels?

      • Parakeetist

        Because they suck.

      • Canned Covfefe

        Whenever I read about another record label I would wonder how there can be that many. The frightening answer is that it’s a reflection of how big the audience is. We are unfortunately seeing just how true that is.

  • coozledad

    My wife was at a festival in Roxboro, NC, Saturday, and she saw the new Republican party chair at his booth. He was open carrying.

    Why would anyone want to make it clear one of their ambitions is to kill someone? What is it about Republicans and dicks?

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Open-carry beers, not guns.

      • coozledad

        Cops would wrestle your ass to the ground for that here. It’s fucked up.

      • Parakeetist

        Amen!

    • Rick Hill

      I don’t run across these folks but I wouldn’t be able to help myself asking a party official just what the fck he’s afraid of.

      • BosGrl

        Though you know what he’s afraid of…

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Was it the Festival of Firearms and Mayhem?

      • coozledad

        They call it “Personality” after Person County, but it really ought to be called “Borderline.”

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          “Antisocial”.

    • BigCSouthside

      What even more ironic, is that if you are open carrying, and some shit hoes down, your gun is a giant neon sign that says “shoot me first”

      • coozledad

        In the damn back, too.

      • Canned Covfefe

        It’s probably against non commenting rules to say, “I’d vote for that,” isn’t it? Or is it?

    • Mildred Broxon

      “You know, that gun makes your dick look small. Smaller.”

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Great White Dope’s hopes and dreams dashed by Afrikanischer Übermensch. Belatedly admits the Irish are White People. Spends the rest of the day in the masterbatorium, dreaming of Boxing Bros.

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Fish, are you a Seven Second Delay fan?

      • Mr. Blobfish

        On WFMU? The last time I tuned in, they weren’t that funny, but they have their moments.

        • Elvis Causticfellow

          I ask because “masturbatorium” is a running joke there.

          • Mr. Blobfish

            I thought I was being clever. Maybe I did subconsciously steal it.

    • grindstone

      Was it HBO that put out the show The Great White Hype? I’ve watched that maybe five times, so I KNEW to put the money on Mayweather. Samuel L Jackson never lies.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸
  • Jeffery Campbell

    That precious cute zebra foal is as wobbly as I am as I start my day drinking. Morning all!!

    • Mr. Blobfish

      What up, yo?

  • Nounverb911
    • JMP

      As in Capt. Benjamin Sisko, Emissary of The Prophets/wormhole aliens?

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Donald J Trump, Emissary of Vladimir Putin?

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      As in: donald’s been having a lot of night emissaries lately…

  • TundraGrifter

    “If you have friends and family in areas of Texas and Louisiana, you should make them aware of insurance scams and potentially life threatening fake news stories circulating on social media.”

    Crackpot emails landing in your right wing uncle’s AOL inbox have been a scourge for years. Why in the world do people cut ‘n’ paste without even bothering to check? You don’t have to call the National Guard to see if that’s the right number – just look it up.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    OK, now I want a baby zebra. They don’t need more than a small patio to run around in, right?

    • Canned Covfefe

      Yup, you’ll be just fine.

    • dslindc

      That seems accurate. I read it on the Internet, so it must be.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Bansai him/her/it. You don’t want it/her/him getting too large.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        The person who invents trainable, housebroken miniature elephants about a foot and a half high will make a mint.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Zebras are one of the few equine species never successfully domesticated. But despite 10,000 years of failure on that front, I’m sure you’ll do well.

      • coozledad

        I’ve heard they’ll drop whatever they’re doing to lay a bitin’ on ya.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Only chihuahuas are meaner.

      • P’jama Pahnts

        Clearly you haven’t seen “Racing Stripes”.

      • My theory is the failure to provide them with adorable flowery hats to wear, or cute outfits is the problem.

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5a2197538d176035ba9afe9ead646fb8649d00664c18711e7cd3dc5f7c07bfb3.jpg

        • Permit-holder Ron

          ‘Does this tutu make my flank look big?’

      • Gayer Than Thou

        If I can live with these psycho cats I’m hoarding, how much worse can a zebra be?

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Zebra hoarding. It will definitely be a first.

      • Snopes Shop

        But have they been miniaturized?

    • MynameisBlarney

      A large terrarium should do.

  • Nounverb911

    Is he still going to Texas tomorrow, or did Abbott tell him to pound sand?

    • Parakeetist

      I heard that he did. :)

    • Mr. Blobfish

      He was told to wait for the big Play-doh shipment to show up.

  • BigCSouthside

    Hey America, what’s going on?

    Oh nothing. I mean our fourth largest city is a fucking lake now, and our president is on the crapper retweeting a convicted felon, bashing his predecessor, and trivializing racial tensions. You know, typical Monday.

    • cmd resistor

      Dinesh must be in hog heaven, being retweeted. He could write a whole book about it.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Sheepshagger

      “Bring out the gimp”

    • Nounverb911
    • Mr. Blobfish

      Still being at Camp David, or even going to Camp David, is not a good look. Doesn’t anyone in the WH understand optics? Good job, Kelly.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        I wouldn’t be at all surprised if they planned the meeting specifically so that Twitler couldn’t be there because they knew they needed to get real stuff done. And they probably did a lot of “you’re breaking up, Sir – we’ll see if we can get someone to fix this connection” before putting him on mute.

        • cmd resistor

          I tried to imagine him being helpful but couldn’t.

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        It was the best they could do. I’m sure he really wanted to go play golf.

    • BigCSouthside

      Wait he’s still fucking there?

      • Nockular cavity

        Oh, it’s NOT LIKE THERE’S A FUCKING CRISIS OR ANYTHING.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        I’m actually surprised he’s at Camp David – didn’t he say it was crappy too, which is why he has to go to Mar-a-Lego so much?

      • cmd resistor

        According to his FB page, this is his MOnday schedule, so he must be back in DC.
        schedule for Monday, August 28th:
        Daily intelligence briefing
        National security briefing
        Lunch with Vice President Mike Pence and Secretary of State Rex Tillerson
        Meeting with Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos
        Meeting with President Sauli Niinistö of Finland
        Expanded bilateral meeting with President Niinistö
        Joint press conference with President Niinistö

    • Rick Hill

      Proly the best. trump asks “Is everybody making sure we have food on our families?”
      “Yes, donald”
      “Good, I’m going back to my nap.”

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Probably not even a live feed of Shitler. And why bother, anyway? It’s not like there’s any value-add with his participation.

      • cmd resistor

        But wait. I read that one of his spokespeople said before he left DC he asked all the right questions (stuff like, Are We PRepared?) which apparently proves he’s really engaged.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      He’s wearing his presiduncing hat! Very presiduncial!

    • Canis Greyhame

      If he’s a good boy, maybe they’ll let him sit at the grownups’ table.

    • Kateaux

      I thought Camp David wasn’t “good enough” to suit the Emperor?

      • MynameisBlarney

        That’s why he’s in the corner, pouting.

    • Claire

      Damn. I see the President Pence timeline is well on its way.

  • beatbort

    Trump wants his photo opp, even if Houston wants him to stay the fuck out of the way of people who are actually doing their job.

  • Sheepshagger

    Everything is awful right when I’ve overcome my crippling alcoholism and started on a meteoric career trajectory goddamnit! Can you crazy fucks hold it together for another decade and please not nuke anyone? I’ve got goals here.

  • Me not sure

    Two large dams upstream from Houston, judged by the Army Corps of Engineers to be dangerous years ago are now releasing MORE water toward Houston to prevent “catastrophic failure” (Corp’s words).The Corps says that some areas downstream, including homes may be inaccessable for months. These Dams were built during the Roosevelt era to prevent flooding in Houston and have needed major work to be made safe, but no money was ever provided by Congress. They are now in danger of simply being overwhelmed by Harvey. Now, at the worst possible time, people are being told to evacuate if they can.Infrastructure spending is important but Congress would not support much of it, either during the Bush Or Obama years. This could get way worse.

    • Sheepshagger

      “Who knew hydro engineering was so complicated?”

      • Kiri the Unicorn
        • OutOfOrbit

          duh, sumbuddy ran over my pecker

        • Sheepshagger

          That’s a mighty fine beaver.

          • Gayer Than Thou

            And it’s apparently happy to see us.

          • Sheepshagger

            Well, not you.

      • Me not sure

        The Corp is talking about releases in terms of ft./acres per second if failure occurs.

        • Sheepshagger

          Oh dear. That sounds a little apocalyptic.

          • Me not sure

            Bob up. Tread water. Breathe. Hold breath. Repeat.

          • Sheepshagger

            Well at least we will get some good blues numbers out of this one

    • OutOfOrbit

      well yeah! that money would have to come from tax increases and you know how that works!

    • ManchuCandidate

      Who controlled Congress during most of those years?

      Oh right the motherfucking GOP who confused fiscal prudence with sucking off the 1%. Heck of a job, GOP.

      • Me not sure

        Right. The Dems had absolute filibuster proof control for what? Seventy nine days?
        That was in the middle of the Healthcare fight.

    • BigCSouthside

      I read that even at a 4000 cfs discharge, water will be entering the reservoir faster than the dam can let it out

      • Sheepshagger

        That’s not sounding good.

      • Me not sure

        Catastrophic failure of both would put some areas under as much as 60 ft. of water for a period of time.

      • Me not sure

        Catastrophic failure of both would put some areas under as much as 60 ft. Of water for a period of time.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I thought all those creaky old WPA dams got fixed during Infrastructure Week?

      • Me not sure

        That’s not the kind of wall they’re shopping for this season.

    • everclay

      To be fair, Obama was having to deal with the largest financial crisis since the Great Depression, and then he had to battle a Republican Congress for the majority of his term.

      • Me not sure

        No question. Plus still dealing with the Bush legacy wars.

    • SterWonk

      Awesome. Which dams? What are their projected inundation zones?

  • La forza del resistino

    No Donald, preventing police from buying military Agent Orange has nothing to do with life size cardboard cutout sales of yourself.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Shorter Houston:”Stay the fuck away, Spray-Tan Hitler. We’ve real shit to deal with. We’ll get back to you and your imaginary problems later.”

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    Pink’s daughter is beautiful. I love her face.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Well, you can’t say that Trump isn’t lowering unemployment, as the legal field is now reporting full employment.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        Anyone remember the ‘LEARN LAW AT HOME!’ courses they used to advertise in the back of Popular Mechanics and such? If only we’d known!

  • Red Bird

    Did Discus delete comments?

  • schmannity

    Gosh, I’d like to help, but after such footdragging on Hurricane Sandy relief, I might have to await cuts in the border wall budget before voting for sweet federal relief dollars.

    –Any Democrat or independent with balls slightly larger than garden peas.

    • ManchuCandidate

      Remember when most of the Tejas GOP delegation voted against Sandy Aid? Led by Louie Louie Gomer.

      • Sheepshagger

        Has anyone seen Louie? Did he ever manage to build that ark in his backyard or did he catch his johnson in a table saw?

      • schmannity

        Bitterly.

      • Rick Hill

        Send him a case of bootstrap kits. Let him put them together, too.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      If Harvey relief is going to be conditioned on cuts to the border wall budget as payback for all the Republicans’ bullshit, that border wall is going to end up being twelve feet of chainlink from Home Depot.

      • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

        Yeah, like Trump would cut the wall budget.

    • Rick Hill

      Seriously, I hope they do.

    • Sheepshagger

      Isn’t the debt ceiling coming up like a shorted meth dealer? Could be savage times down in congress.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      That whole fucking border wall chaps my ass. As if tunnels haven’t been invented.

      • ManchuCandidate

        Or airplanes or catapults or ice dragons.

        • TundraGrifter

          Or Canada.

          • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

            Or boats.

        • MrTusks

          Bran the Builder. Now there’s a guy who could build. It’s right in his name. I heard he made the wall out of ice and stone and also magic. Not a lot of people know that. Everyone is talking about it.

          • BearGHAZI

            Also, he made the white walkers pay for it

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        …or blowtorches, dynamite, battering rams, ladders, etc…

        Personally, I don’t mind pissing away my hard earned tax dollars so that a bunch of economically anxious racist pieces of shit can feel better about their world.

        • schmannity

          If the wall is Trump’s pet project, I’d rather spend $20 billion than $1.2 trillion on W’s pet project, Invade Iraq what tried to kill my daddy.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            But what about that time solar panel manufacturer Solyndra went out of business* after Obama gave them 500 MILLION dollars??? Hnggh? Both sides do it.

            *Solyndra went out of business because the Chinese started flooding America with cheap solar panels, because they want to corner the market, because they know where the future is. Luckily, Republicans in Congress made sure America sticks to fossil fuels.

          • Snopes Shop

            This!

        • Persistent Tennessee Rain

          I live in mushroom country and there are a lot of hispanishes in my area. I don’t know if they are here legally or not, but the truth is, I don’t actually give a damn. Okay, for shits and giggles, I checked out the crime rate in my area. The chances of me being the victim of a violent crime are 1 in 10,000. There were zero rapes, robberies, murders or assaults last year. And it’s listed as “100” which means it’s 100% safer than all US cities. The worst thing that ever happened to me was someone stole my mailbox out of the ground which was a little heartbreaking because I installed that mailbox and it was beautiful and it was a moment of empowerment for me after my divorce.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I think people have kind of forgotten that this is a land of immigrants.

            This is the first recorded instance of mailbox stealing I have ever heard of. I’m sorry someone took it.

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            In hindsight, it was rather comical just because I was so damned proud of the thing. I replaced it with the exact same one and a guy I was dating hit it with his car and messed it up. That was a deal breaker. :-)

          • Maggielle

            So from now on, it’s sturdy but very plain, homely mailboxes for you?

          • schmannity

            “They’re rapists, murderers. . . mailbox thieves . . some, I assume, have their own mailboxes.”

    • Rick Hill

      I wonder if any teabagging representatives are going to insist upon cuts to social services to pay for Harvey damage?

      • Me not sure

        I know! Let’s just shut the government down and let Houston pull itself out of this mess.

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        I recall seeing that a couple of the politicians asking for Hurricane Harvey relief voted against Hurricane Sandy relief.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      “I’d like to get the federal government so small that I could strangle it in a bathtub that’s floating in a flooded Houston street.”

      ~No Republican Today

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Yes, it is unfortunate that Democrats like to help the little guy down on his luck.

      • Me not sure

        Luck has nothing to do with it. The conservative’s plan has been to keep that bastard down all along. Winning!

  • Because my local transit sucks, i am on a different bus than i usually take to work. It makes many more stops, so it is looking unlikely that i will be making a bakery stop

    • Mr. Blobfish

      I blame Chicago-style politics.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        It’s a deep dish of corruption.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          A sauce wading pool for political rats.

    • Permit-holder Ron

      What have they done now?

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    When you’re so bent, that even your lawyer needs a lawyer to answer for your actions:

    https://twitter.com/NatashaBertrand/status/901990843275296768

    • Nounverb911

      Is he his attorney’s attorney or his attorney’s attorney’s attorney?

      • Rememeber how there were lots of articles about unemployed lawyers? Not anymore

      • Nockular cavity

        It’s lawyers all the way down.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I was just reading the link to Ivanka Trump’s business partner (Moishe Lax). He was entangled in a gazillion lawsuits, and all of his lawyers would stop representing him, because he wouldn’t pay them. Who would guess that a deadbeat who doesn’t pay his bills would stiff his lawyers?

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    ZEEBRAA SQUEEE!

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Any relation? Distant cousin, maybe?

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Unicorns split from the equine evolutionary line about a zillion years ago, so yeah, very distant cousin.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Do unicorns and zebras ever… you know…

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Play board games together? Go sailing? Enter into limited partnerships?

      • Kakkeltje

        Well, Zorses exist and Zonkeys, so why not a Zunicorn?

    • LesBontemps
  • Nounverb911

    And with a crowd bigger than donnies too, also.

    https://twitter.com/SaysHummingbird/status/902158360136617986

    • Sheepshagger

      It’s just the floor covering giving a false impression. There’s actually only three people there.

      • TundraGrifter

        When I took a tour of the New Orleans Super Dome they told us the seats are all different colors to make it look full when the TV cameras pan the crowd.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Wondering if Two Scoops will mark the occasion with his “But I Have A Billion Dollars” speech?

      • From Russia With A Permit

        He should send Mnuchin and his “sweetheart.”

    • LesBontemps

      So many conservative Republicans!

  • Nounverb911
    • therblig

      wow, hinckley and i are the same age and what have i done with my life?

      • The Wanderer

        Better things.

      • From Russia With A Permit

        Long bike rides?

        • therblig

          That is way better than shooting at a president. The Great Allegheny Passage is on my bucket list.

          • From Russia With A Permit

            I’ve done a little bit of the Great Divide Trail in Colorado near Monarch Pass. I wasn’t quite up to all the technical bits, I’ll admit.

      • Maggielle

        Same here. Although once a bird flew into a window where I was house-sitting and it knocked him out cold. I brought the dogs inside and called my local Wildcare center, and they said to put him in a safe place and wait an hour, so I kept the dogs inside, and kept watching the bird, and sure enough, an hour later, he blinked, took a few steps, and then flew away. So I did that.

        • therblig

          it’s amazing how little things like that make a difference. oddly enough (to complete the hinckley connection), we cared for a baby starling that we fed dog food for 10 days before taking out to the Raptor Trust. of course, we called it “Clarice”.

    • Hinckley and ‘Squeaky’ Fromme sing about their unrequited loves:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrvaV_lb95s

  • Nounverb911
  • Joe Beese
  • OddMan

    It is more than just tired sailors causing the Navy’s issues. Back in 2003 the Navy stopped sending young officers to Surface Warfare School, where they learned just how to run a ship at sea. Now they learn on the job and it has not worked.

    Navy Times
    Maybe today’s Navy is just not very good at driving ships
    http://www.navytimes.com/news/your-navy/2017/08/27/navy-swos-a-culture-in-crisis/#

    • Mr. Blobfish

      You must have missed the memo. It’s Obama’s fault, time-traveling or otherwise.

      • Sheepshagger

        He’s from Hawaii. Nudge and a wink, see?

        • From Russia With A Permit

          You guys said “Obama” and “he.” So which one are you talking about?

      • dlemex

        I was looking for the image of baby Trump in the bathroom with crayons all over the walls for my collection. When I googled “image Obama did it” I was agasht by the mimes, scorn, and general disrespect that Obama had to endure. It was also amazing how many ‘predictions’ that were created were completely wrong. I miss him.

    • Canned Covfefe

      Is this true? I know it’s going to be true but is this really true?! What’s next? No boot camp? Here’s a gun and some ammo, just don’t point it at any of us? Ok, see this is a helicopter; pretend like you’re playing on your gamer?

    • I’ve been trying to stomp out people screaming about Russian hacking. It’s certainly a possibility, but the chatter that was coming through didn’t make sense and above all, nobody was offering up proof of breach (let alone concept). With that being said, as soon as the McCain’s accident went national you started seeing military sub-reddits get inundated with sailors talking about 21 hour shifts. Legit, long standing accounts with post histories and statements that contained mil-spec terminology and specifics. It’s not impossible to hack GPS of a military ship, it’s just impractical as fuck.

      • shivaskeeper

        Add that to the fact the GPS is certainly not the only navigational tool nor the only tool used to avoid collisions. There are systems that have no access outside the actual operator and are not tied into the inter or intra nets at all. Not the least of which is the eyes of the Sailors standing watch.

        As you said, a hack is possible, if impractical, but a hack of one or even two systems would be ineffective.

        Hacking seems to be the go to answer for people who don;t know what happened in damn near any situation now.

  • Crystalclear12

    Friday I thought after Katrina no Republican would be stupid enough to make the same mistakes.
    Boy, is my face red!

    • OutOfOrbit

      it should be red! r.e. Trickle-down economics: still selling it, still not working

      • Crystalclear12

        It’s the Democrat in me. I keep thinking people will learn from their mistakes.

      • SterWonk

        They’re still selling it, because — despite it still not working — people are still buying it.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I blew most of the day yesterday watching the coverage on CNN, marveling at the folks who’ve already been flooded out 2 or 3 times, saying, “Sure, we know it was going to flood, but no one thought it would get this bad!”

      I’m sorry, but the NWS told you for fucking DAYS that this would be a downpour of epic proportions, and you DIDN’T think it would ever get this bad? I’ve never even been to Houston and I knew it was going to be bad.

      Still, I haven’t been able to scream at the people on TV. I feel sorry for them.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Well, you know those government egg heads at the NWS are always pushing hoaxes like “global warming”.

        One of the worst things about this anti-science right wing fuckshittery is that it is encouraged dumb yokels and people who should know better to not take sound weather warnings seriously. It’s all hoax until your standing on your roof waiting for the National Guard to rescue you.

      • Erala Contratista

        Two springs ago I made a cunning plan to avoid both Houston and Austin on our way to NOLA.
        The next PM I checked the weather and Houston was under 6’+ of water.
        There were alligators! Too, also.
        We had lovely weather the whole trip.
        Except for the snowstorm in NM.

        If the highways are now under water….well, they are mostly elevated. To avoid flooding.

      • Persistent Demme

        You’d think inroads would be made to disprove all that “fake news” nonsense.
        But no.

  • Joe Beese
    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “Grab all your neighbor’s shit while he’s distracted. Make sure to get his passwords!”

      • From Russia With A Permit

        “Pro tip: Their precious metals will all be a the bottom of the muck.”

  • Nounverb911
    • BosGrl

      That beautiful young face. We’ll never know what great things he may have done.

  • Courser_Resistance

    Good morning fellow Wonkers! This morning I’m loading up my truck and taking a much needed vacation in the mountains.

    Everyone stay safe and out of the floodwaters, ‘kay?

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Have fun, ya hear!!!

    • Permit-holder Ron

      Do check in at some point, if only to say ‘Hey, I can see my house from here!’

      • Courser_Resistance

        I won’t be near cell service, so unlikely. Too many mountains for me to see my house, lol. I’ll be back Thurs. eve. and I have left detailed information with my friends. Who are a SAR team.

        • Maggielle

          Have fun. You will be returning with pix, yes?

        • Permit-holder Ron

          Good. Take notes. We expect a full report when you get back. WITH pics.

    • From Russia With A Permit

      Where abouts? Generally.

      • Courser_Resistance

        South Park. For realz. IRL, it’s a huge empty. The Kenosha elk herd that lives there is one of the largest in North America.

        I have a lot of history in the area, mostly centered around the Lost Creek Wilderness.

        • From Russia With A Permit

          Cool! I lived in C Springs, Salida, Steamboat, Ft Collins and Boulder between the ages of 10 and 25. I’ve driven 24 and 285 a zillion times. I always liked it there too.

  • Nounverb911
    • maybe I’ll actually be able to shop at Whole Foods. I hear it’s fancy.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Just thinking that. My cucumber crop has been a failure and I wanted to make pickles. Was gonna suck it up and head to WF. Still won’t go to Home Depot.

        • II Gosala

          home depot sells pickles now ?

          • BackDoorMan

            … just the barrels, I think.

      • BosGrl

        And it should be less crowded, as people stay away, worried that the great unwashed might be able to afford organic peach water.

    • Maggielle

      I have two Whole Foods markets in my area, but luckily several other very good grocery stores and farmers’ markets (all of which happen to be more convenient), so I’ve never shopped at WF. And I’m gonna keep shopping at my stores so WF won’t Walmart them out of existence.

    • Ok. I might go back to the terrifying lakeview Whole Foods.

  • Proud Liberal

    Aaand, 45 is going to go to Houston for a photo-op right in the middle of this disaster. What an ass.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Golfing conditions might not be quite what he’s hoping for.

      • From Russia With A Permit

        “Is this casual water? Can I get a ruling here?”

    • The Wanderer

      After first saying that he’d wait a week. Fuck him with a rod of leaded iron votes.

  • YoBunnyBunny

    “The president speaks for himself,”

    No words that should ever be spoken in reference to a sitting American President.

    WTF, people? What does it take to get this clown out office?

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Rumor has it that Rexxon is on his way out of the door soon, just like everyone else in Trump’s administration. After seeing that statement, I’d say that sounds about right. What a gigantic “fuck you” to Trump.

      • From Russia With A Permit

        At this point a revolving door on the White House is more of a necessity than a nicety.

      • cmd resistor

        I read that a couple other high-ups in State are leaving.

        • From Russia With A Permit

          It’s nearly comical at this point. “We will follow you, Donald, forever. Or for six months, whichever comes first.”

          • YoBunnyBunny

            or under their breath “…until you’re impeached.”

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Two left in the past week.

      • Isn’t congress on record as saying they won’t confirm anybody new?

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I guess Jared, or maybe Barron, can be Sec. of State then.

    • From Russia With A Permit

      We need to vote harder. With votes.

  • Nounverb911
    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      My neice, and her baby, live in Houston. She looks a lot like that woman, and when I saw that picture I thought it was her. I was freaked out, until I read the woman’s name.

      • BosGrl

        Have you heard from her?

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Nope, but we’re assuming it’s because they don’t have cell phone service, internet, land line, etc…

          Luckily, very few people have died (one?) so we’re not too worried. I’d be a lot more worried if this was a Katrina type situation, and there were a lot of missing people. That picture did freak me out for a minute, though, since it looked like her and her baby.

          • BosGrl

            Of course they’re fine. Hugs and good energy directed to her and the baby.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Thank you. Their house is on relatively high ground, and her boyfriend is a big lunk, so I know they’ll be OK.

    • Courser_Resistance

      THIS ^^^^

      There’s a pervasive paranoia that has always lurked in Emergency Management that people will instantly turn into animals during a disaster, preying on one another. This is a fucking FALLACY. People help each other out in a disaster. I’ve seen this time and time and time again. Are there predators among us? Of course, but even most of them realize that you have to rely on each other to survive.

  • Permit-holder Ron

    Zebras? Just, like, psychedelic HORSES, man.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Mr. Builder of a Great Organization is paralyzed with fear that the whole world will see what an impotent fool he is. You’re doing a heck of a job, trumpy.

    • Nounverb911

      So far only retweets today….

    • II Gosala

      He needn’t worry. We already know.

  • The Wanderer

    Today’s the first day of my vacation, and I’ve spent part of it well – making cranberry-orange scones. Another part of it’s been spent in a helpless rage over our clueless, demented fuckstick of a President and the insistence by media and pundits to “both sides” the fascist motherfuckers who said demented fuckstick is enabling.

    • BosGrl

      I hope you made enough scones for all of us.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      An “expert panelist” on NPR last week said he found Trump’s Nuremberg Rally speeches “amusing”.

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        I think I will go into a permanent state of rage if that orange motherfucker holds a rally while Houston is suffering.

      • The Wanderer

        He should tell that to those people who still sport numbers tattooed on their arms since the 1940s.

    • Proud Liberal

      Those scones sound amazing! Unlike fuckstick 45.

    • calliecallie

      This makes me realize we haven’t had a recipe in a while. Or have I just not been checking on the weekends? I spent part of yesterday peeling and freezing peaches for future pie. Peeling peaches is not as much fun as it sounds.

  • Sheepshagger

    Where’s Gilgamesh when you need him?

    • II Gosala

      Buggering Enkidu, probably, but I think you’re thinking of Utnapistim.

  • Nounverb911
    • From Russia With A Permit

      This just in from the White House:

      “If all else fails, put your head between your knees as far as you can, and kiss your ass goodbye.”

      — Donald J Trump

      • thewalkindude

        Sounds more like Bannon…

  • Bill D. Burger

    Trump: “I know floods. You can believe me. I know floods better than anybody. I know floods better than Noah. Believe me.”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_ewGNA6Ubk

  • Nounverb911
    • BosGrl

      This should be the iconic photo of 2017.

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        Seconded

      • OutOfOrbit

        i was in your hood this weekend for a wedding did you see me? I brought nice weather to you did i not?

        • BosGrl

          You did! Thank you! The weather has been great.

      • Maggielle

        Time’s Hat of the Year.

    • II Gosala

      looks like it should be a book cover for a dystopian future story where an insane billionaire… wait! What?

    • Christopher Story

      This speaks to me.

    • calliecallie

      Awesome photo!
      The only photo that would be better than this photo would be the photo of the authorities taking Trump to jail. (And not that photo-shopped one that’s making the rounds.)

  • rocktonsam

    the hero will be blowing into town Tuesday.
    you can only save yourselves again from hurricane asshole!

  • P’jama Pahnts

    I was just reading an older article about T’s response to Hurricane Matthew and how N. Carolina received less than 1% of the relief money requested. When he screws Texas over I’m sure they will still support him.

  • Proud Liberal

    I have a question. What is Trump going to do in Houston that could possibly help the people? Seriously. What?

    • BigCSouthside

      He wants his “ground zero” moment

      • Sheepshagger

        It’s less effective if you’re the Osama in the equation.

    • Alexander Stallwitz

      Dont forgot Obama was mocked and critcized for not coming to the Louisana floods last year. Trump of course went down there anyway despite being told it would be a distraction from the relief efforts.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      He’ll find out what Obama did during Sandy and then do the exact opposite. Uh, Houston? We have a problem.

    • MizzMazz

      Hahahaha, like he would go there to actually help people! Self-aggrandizing, as usual. He will wear his stupid hat and have many great photo ops, and his base will eat it up.

    • Fly to a senator’s manor for a photo-op, given previous history

    • SeeTrain65

      Provide enough accidental evidence of his corruption to bring about his ouster even sooner?

      But then again, he can do that anywhere.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    What the heck was Nicki Minaj wearing last night?

    • Sheepshagger

      Silicone fixer?

    • IdiotsforPalin

      Camel Toe projectile

  • SterWonk

    I grew up in Houston, and my parents still live there, as do many of our family friends. So far, everyone’s okay. <knocks on wood> A few people have had some minor flooding, but nothing major. Yet…

    Shamelessly re-posting something I wrote on Facebook:

    One of the stupider things I’ve ever done was on my 21st birthday — and alcohol wasn’t even involved!

    I was staying at Mom and Dad’s house that summer, between semesters. I had worked that day, and was driving through the rains of Tropical Storm Allison on the way home. My parents were hosting a baby shower that night, so there were lots of people there, and lots of cars on the streets around the house.

    A few blocks from the house (on a clear day, I could have easily seen the house, and it would have been less than a minute away) the water started getting deep.

    Really deep.

    Uhhh, would I be safer in the car or outside…

    I ended up deciding to try and make it home. I shifted from “D” to “L”, and slowly crept along the road. The water kept rising around me. I could tell from the ripples that it was up to the top of the sidewalls. The axel. The top of the bumper.

    I could feel the car handling lighter as the water started holding some of the weight off the wheels.

    It peaked just above the bottom of the headlights. I must have had good seals on the doors, because I didn’t get any water in the cabin.

    A block further, and it was back down to normal “hard rain” depth, and I was able to make it to the house without trouble. I had to park a bit away and got soaked running to the house, but that was it.

    • BosGrl

      Whoa. Glad you made it through that OK.

    • From Russia With A Permit

      You needed one of these (scariest drive I’ve ever taken):

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0ap1TF2o9w

      • SterWonk

        1.5x – maybe 2x – that depth.

        • From Russia With A Permit

          Wow.

          The water course now has slippery yellow mud about the same depth. Glad it wasn’t my car!

    • Major_Major_Major

      Glad your folks are OK. So far all of my friends and family are OK as well.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • mackafritz

      It sounds like he’s bragging about how big the storm is and that it happened on his watch.

      • Erala Contratista

        Yup.
        Just what I’m thinking.
        Only the BEST BIGLIEST storms!!!!!
        Katrina was a loser.
        Pathetic!
        Weak!

      • chezmoi

        Oh, I should have scrolled a little further. Heh..

    • BigCSouthside

      It’s like he’s cheering the storm on. Like “my hurricane is bigger than Obama’s”

      • ExecutorElassus

        Don’t forget that hurricanes of this magnitude are going to become far more common due to polices being implemented by his administration and party.

        • BigCSouthside

          And with Zinke easing offshore drilling, we could have like a Super Deep Water Horizon.

    • From Russia With A Permit

      But the coordination is wonderful though.

      • cmd resistor

        No thanks to him, I would think.

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      He’s a sociopath. They don’t do empathy so good.

    • cmd resistor

      Only weird if you compare him to normal human beings. Otherwise, no surprise at all.

    • WeaselPoo

      Weird? It isn’t weird–it’s typical Trump.

    • Maggielle

      He can’t even live up to the Nixon description: “He walks, he talks, he smiles, he frowns – he does what a human can – he’s Tricky Dicky from Yorba Linda, he’s a genuine plastic man.” He can’t even fake it.

    • chezmoi

      Srsly – all he can see is that he is getting the bigliest storm of all on his watch! A storm the likes of which no one has seen in 500 years, full of fury and um, water.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • From Russia With A Permit

    “The Pentagon says it isn’t deliberately hiding total troop numbers in Iraq and Afghanistan, it simply doesn’t count temps (just like corporate America).”

    US Central Command has just about zero forces of its own. Everybody rotates in and out as attached (vs assigned) forces. Putting the limit for not including forces attached for less than 120 days is bullshit. Tours get longer and longer, but there are still quite a few around that are 120 days or less, particularly specialty forces in high demand.

    On the other hand, forces are going to swell when large units rotate. They can’t just take a unit out and put in a new one the next day, there is typically some overlap. So, it’s hard to tell who is bullshitting here.

    • I read that story last night and almost spit out my beer.

      • Oblios_Cap

        “Almost” being the operative word here.

        • From Russia With A Permit

          No sense in adding a senseless tragedy to a senseless tragedy.

  • Permit-holder Ron

    I can’t see how Twitler is going to be able to go to Houston, unless they either put floats on AF1 or replace it with A Boeing 314.

    • presidential hovercraft

      • BigCSouthside

        I was kinda hoping they’d stuff him in a canon and just fire him in the general direction of Texas.

        • The Wanderer

          Atomic Annie isn’t big enough.

        • dlemex

          Cuidado, they might miss and he could end up in Mexico. Of course, we could sell him back to you as a piñata.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        I’ll let someone else do the obligatory ‘full of eels’ joke.

        • LesBontemps

          Too late!

        • The Wanderer

          Eels would be wasted on him. Lampreys and hagfish.

    • Me not sure

      They’re going to HALO him in with nothing more than a bag of McDonald’s food, a six pack of Diet Coke, and a Swiss Army Knife. He’ll be alright. He’s a floater.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Tillerson will be the next to be shown the door. On the plus side, he’ll have plenty of time to nap.

    • chezmoi

      Do you really think so? I thought Kelly was doing the cleanup, not Trump. Look at everyone who’s been tossed; I’m sure Trumpy’s furious about most of them. Maybe not Reince.

  • Bill D. Burger

    No spoiler here…and ot, but you see, if you just put on a little good music, the Night King is not so bad.
    Ahhh….movie magic! Little touch up and getting ready to wreck havoc.
    *Just made me laugh.

    https://twitter.com/vickto_willy/status/899616629859987460

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Leaked chat logs from “alt-right” forums will be key evidence in prosecuting neo-Nazi protesters accused of inciting violence in Charlottesville, but they claim that they were only joking when they talked about feeding
    Latino people into tractor combines and shooting antifa protesters with assault weapons.

    It’s like rain on your wedding day. I promise to enjoy it ironically.

  • Oblios_Cap

    The Sons of Confederate Veterans are probably known as “The Bubbas” in Alabama.

  • ryp

    Don’t worry Houston, Trump will soon be there for a photo-op of him unloading boxes of Play-Doh from a truck. Be sure to show up for the bigly crowd that watches him do it.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Not his style. He’ll shit on the helpers at some campaign rally. Plus, there’s no Trump property in Houston, why would he even go there?

  • Mavenmaven

    And on the subject of Houston, the author of this remarkably horrible article on Forbes is a contender for the worst human being on the planet other than Arpaio and Trump: https://www.forbes.com/sites/timworstall/2017/08/27/hurricane-harvey-is-when-we-need-price-gouging-not-laws-against-it/#22bc9c0013fa

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Someone needs a tumbrel ride, stat.

      • Upvote for the appropriate use of “tumbrel”.

    • WeaselPoo

      I tried looking for some “Modest Proposal” satire in that opinion piece and found none. The author Mr. Worstall is aptly named.

    • eyelashviper

      Unfukinbelievable. The comments to the article are swift and clear, and he responds to all of them, digging deeper into the shit hole he dwells in.

    • jodyleek

      What a dick! I hope Worstall chokes on Ayn Rand’s desiccated corpse.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Moshe Lax? Sounds like a slacker.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Or a kosher purgative.

      • TundraGrifter

        I’m a Rolling Thunder Regulatory Tonic man, myself. But your comment is very funny!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    If Houston is looking for a hero, the cheeto-faced shitgibbon does not meet the criteria.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Neither does Joel Osteen.

  • TundraGrifter

    “Trump was trying to build a trash palace in Moscow during the primaries, and was encouraged to give Putin some verbal blow-jobs in return for a bit of a reach around during the election.”

    Remember the name Felix Sater. Dude had an office in Trump Tower, a Trump Organization business card, etc., etc., but Mr. Trump, when asked, had no idea who in the world he is. Or was.

    If Manafort continues to hold the fort and refuses to flip because he doesn’t want a poisoned umbrella tip in the calf, Sater would be next in line. Far lower on the food chain, of course, but still a likely candidate.

    • BigCSouthside

      I get the impression Sater is higher up than we might think. Like “ran entire trump org-Russian mob money laundering op” high up.

      • TundraGrifter

        Wow. That’s a very interesting thought! The less Mr. Trump knows about him, the more important he probably is. Or was. Or will be.

        On the other hand, if he’s really a higher-up with close times to those in Russia, flipping runs the same risk it runs for Manafort. Death. Those guys don’t play.

    • chezmoi

      I highly recommend these two videos, if you haven’t yet seen them.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bEdMuKq30I

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvd7PqI_Lx0

  • Marion in Savannah

    The babby zebra trying to figure out how those legs work has many, many cutez.

  • eyelashviper

    Any word from Tejas Wonkette peeps?
    I watched the news until late last night, and it was just horrifying, and the waters continue to rise.
    As usual, the Hoofwanker is pouting and tweeting, while this unprecedented disaster in Tejas continues to unfold.

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/08/white-house-photos-show-trump-sitting-alone-at-camp-david-while-pence-runs-hurricane-situation-room/

    • MizzMazz

      What a big bratty baby, there in his stupid hat. His face shows he doesn’t know what the fuck is going on, and he knows it.

    • Red Bird

      Texas Wonkette here. Lots of flooring but rain slowed for a few hours.

      • eyelashviper

        Hope all goes well for you, just looking at the news from the wide area affected so far is just heartbreaking, and this ordeal has only begun.

        • Red Bird

          Houston is not called the Bayou City for nothing. The area is low and flat. So flooding happens.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      All the regulars I know checked in yesterday (and a few I didn’t know were Texans!)

      • eyelashviper

        Stay safe, this monster is still roaming around, may pick up strength again.

        • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

          thanks! I’m not near any of it, thank FSM.

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      Checking in from my palatial San Antonio Super 8 motel room. i should be able to go home tomorrow, but we still have no power, and are under a boil water advisory. Battered but not beaten.

      • eyelashviper

        Be safe, try to chill and rest…the coming days are going to be tough.

      • Ms.Moon

        Stay strong after Sandy we had no lights for ten days then a snow storm, we made it through. I’ll be donating when I get paid on Friday for victims because every little bit helps and I will keep praying for everyone down there.

  • Crack_A_Toe_Ah

    There is flooding down in Texas. All the telephone lines are down.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtLwuPCUEdg

  • TundraGrifter

    Fascinating article about Ivanka Trump and her business partner Moshe Lax in Politico Magazine.

    These folks just aren’t very bright – and they don’t listen.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      The smart ones don’t get caught.

      • TundraGrifter

        Or, if they do get caught, they don’t make another Federal case by trying to cover up their initial crime(s).

  • Me not sure
  • MynameisBlarney
    • eyelashviper

      Tis the Season…
      Remember Katrina, then Rita and Wilma?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yeah.
        There was another named storm that year as well IIRC.
        Katrina went right over the Keys but wasn’t nearly as powerful as it was when it hit Louisiana obviously.
        Still scared the shit outta me as I was living in a travel trailer that wasn’t even strapped down.
        The ONLY thing holding it down was the PVC plumbing.

        • eyelashviper

          What, no cable TV to keep you grounded???
          Let’s keep our fingers and toes crossed to make it through to December, only then can be really breathe a sigh of relief.

          • Maggielle

            Then: Snowmageddons. And ice weasels.

          • Ice weasels are the worst

          • Marsupial

            The screeching… oh god… the screeching!!!

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          Ivan hit Lower Alabama in 2005, also too.

    • VirginiaWackelpudding

      Isabel nailed us in Virginia in early September. Thanks for the early warning?

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • phoenix00

      He should’ve answered “The Leave Obama Alone Society”

  • eyelashviper

    Anything that can make me laugh these days is a blessing.

    http://www.suprmchaos.com/jd1_082817.jpg

  • MynameisBlarney

    A friendly reminder.

    “remember when Dampnut took insurance money for non-existent hurricane damage?”

    https://lawnewz.com/high-profile/remember-when-trump-took-insurance-for-hurricane-damage-that-reportedly-didnt-exist/

    • BrendaKay

      Grifters gonna grift.

    • eyelashviper

      While everyone’s home owner policies go up in cost every damn year, with no claims filed…

  • eyelashviper

    Just saw this on a link at RS. We still have a long way to go.

    https://twitter.com/SaysHummingbird/status/902158360136617986/photo/1

    • chezmoi

      One step forward, two steps back this go-round. Time for a giant step – maybe this fiasco could be salutary.

      • gene108

        I would say many steps ahead and one step back. Gays allowed to serve openly in the military, gay marriage being made legal in all 50 states, transgender people allowed to serve in the military (for now), and I am sure there is more social progress I can’t think of over the last eight years.

        We came a long way during Obama’s Presidency and we are not going back quietly.

        • chezmoi

          Yes, Gene, you’re right about those advances on social issues, and it’s because the majority of Americans are behind them.

          What worries me is the damage he and the GOP can do to the environment, education, justice, and so many more areas where he has vowed to roll back our advances. These are the points we need to concentrate on, to get positive messages out about what Dems want to do for the people on substantive issues.

  • chortlingdingo

    Good news: Harvey swung further east than predicted, so all I got was three days of rain and heavy gusts of wind.

    Bad news: Harvey swung further east than predicted, so Houston is drowning.

  • I am weirdly ok with someone grifting off the grifters

  • Khavrinen

    “Also, sometimes he did abuse of power to white people!”

    See? We told you good ol’ Sheriff Joe isn’t racist; he’ an asshole to everybody!

  • HorseChestnut

    Hey Wonkerinos, while clicking on the carefully hand-selected news links, I saw that the fucking ALLIANCE DEFENDING FREEDOM is advertising on Raw Story. RS is probably not into that! What’s the most effective way to let them know?

    • lovelydestruction

      I don’t think they’re as picky about where their money comes from as we’d hope. I’ve seen the anti-obama stuff promoted on here and complained.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time
      • HorseChestnut

        THANK YOU! I couldn’t find that to save my life.

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          They don’t make it easy to find. I had to Google for it.

  • Querolous
    • phoenix00

      And here I am getting by on one cup a day. ONE CUP!!

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    Ivanka has all the business acumen as her father. Scammers can’t identify a scam because that’s the way they think things work.

  • Hardly Ideal

    Leaked chat logs from “alt-right” forums will be key evidence in prosecuting
    neo-Nazi protesters accused of inciting violence in Charlottesville, but they claim that they were only joking when they talked about feeding Latino people into tractor combines and shooting antifa protesters with assault weapons.

    See, Nazis, this is one of your many problems. Most jokes are supposed to have a punchline.

    • phoenix00

      Don’t say punch……

  • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

    The Pianist Taka Kigawa on Playing Messiaen’s Bird Marathon
    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/27/arts/music/taka-kigawa-piano-messiaen-birds.html?emc=edit_th_20170828&nl=todaysheadlines&nlid=55072772

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6Izpdkjrhk
    I saw it performed last October at a 12-hour Los Angeles Philharmonic new music marathon, by a local all-star team of 13 pianists.

  • The Librarian

    “and with those tweets Donald Trump became president”. Not in a million fucking years.

    Re Bannon article: maybe I’m not seeing it (yet), but Trump’s agenda seems to have nose-dived spectacularly with Bannon in the WH. Can a behind the scenes Bannon change that? Hmmmmm.

    • chezmoi

      Trump’s agenda? It’s whatever he feels like saying on the day, never mind that it is in complete contradiction to what he said a day, a week, a month, or a year ago. People like Ryan and McConnell, Tillerson, and a host of others, have agendas they’d like him to follow, hence their dismay when he goes off their scripts.

      • The Librarian

        Trump does have an agenda of sorts (Wall, taxes, I think we can blow off healthcare for now), but true, subject to change without notice.

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