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Don’t you even care what the queers are doing to the soil?

We heard from some Serious Thinkers with some Serious Thoughts this week, and once we hosed off our boots and took a nice Silkwood shower, we’re delighted to share them with you, the discerning Wonkette reader. Let’s get right into the weirdness with some thoughts from “AZCardsFan85,” who wanted us to know that while Jones is maybe sometimes a bit loopy, as with his recent rant in which he explained Michelle Obama is actually a dude, Mr. Jones is, in fact, not always completely wrong:

Alex Jones is spot on regarding globalism and tells the truth on many other subjects bringing them to light, but, every now & then he talks about stupid shit like this dumb Michelle Obama story & its stories like this that discredit him & the good work he does when he promotes obvious flat out lies like this. When he promotes crap like this Michelle is a tranny story it makes him look retarded and its why serious people won’t take him seriously, if he would stop promoting baseless lies this a lot more people would listen to his show, visit his site and take him seriously as a serious newsman.

So that’s a really important thing to keep in mind, you see, because you shouldn’t just dismiss a guy because he insists (over three years after all the other weirdos in the ConspiracySphere had already been over that ground) that Michelle Obama is a man, with actual man parts. He’s dead-on accurate about globalism (ahem! — the JEWS!), and if only he wouldn’t occasionally get going on crazy stuff, surely people would recognize him for the serious journalist he is. So please, pay attention to Jones’s reliable research and not his occasional, daily moments when he goes completely fucking nuts and spends eleven minutes on the former First Lady’s peen, and then falls off. (I swear, we are about twelve years old).

A moment later, “AZCardsFan85” was back with a long paragraph — posted twice — insisting that “All Jones does is LIE!!!!!!!” It was tedious and we won’t copy it here, but it seemed a rather sudden reversal, so we think maybe “AZCardsFan85” was not really dealing in good faith here. Call it a hunch. He also had this very gay-friendly statement about how little he is personally bothered by gay people, and you can tell, from his very “hip” and “with-it” tone on the topic:

It’s well known that most people who hate on Homosexuals who are oddly offended by Homosexually are usually gay themselves 99.9% of the time. Everyone at some point in their life has had a friend or known someone that constantly talked crap about how disgusting gay guys are & crap like that, that friend and people who talk like that are usually closeted homo’s themselves who hate themselves & cannot deal with the fact they are Gay.

I don’t understand people like that, I personally could care less what other people do in their bedroom, I don’t get why people hate other people just because of who they choose to sleep with and be with, you’d have to be an extremely ignorant low IQ individual to hate people just because of who they chose to sleep with.

See? He isn’t bothered by Homosexuals at all, and those who are are probably big fags themselves! We’ll go out on a limb and guess “AZCardsFan85” hasn’t been a regular attendee at Gay-Straight Alliance meetings. As to the topic of the article, “AZCardsFan85” also offered some Science Facts on how to tell whether someone’s a real man or woman, just by looking! See if you can suss out the subtle linguistic cues that indicate he might not be in tune with the Wonkette zeitgeist:

You can tell men and women hands apart by the bone structure and muscle definition, as well as size. Women has slender petite hands , even if they have really longer fingers their hands are petite and much more slender than a mans. Men have wider, bulkier hands with much bigger/wider wrists.

Its extremely easy to tell apart the difference between a natural women and a tranny, the Adams apple gives the tranny away but the bigger tell is a Tranny’s hips compared to a natural women’s hips. Women have much skinnier heat shape hips while mens hips are wider and go straight down, Hip bone structure is something a tranny cannot hide or have surgically altered.

You can probably find out more on this topic by watching “AZCardsFan85’s” favorite indy film, Trannyspotting, though you may have difficulty with the thick Edinburgh accents.

Not surprisingly, a Wonker called out “AZCardsFan85’s” own deviations from the community norms, warning, “Dude, ‘tranny’ is not cool around here. Neither is ‘retarded.'” Oh, this amused “AZCardsFan85” no end, it did! “AZCardsFan85” let us know he’d have no truck with Wonkette’s Politically Correct Language Policing, no way!

Thanks but ill keep using the word Tranny , maybe I’ll even put the two together if I ever see a retarded tranny in the wild someday.

I bet your head is just spinning right about now, you are going to have an awful lot to talk about with your therapist/physc dr come this next week.

Actually, we’re pretty sure he won’t keep using either word around here, not at all. Also, for fuckssake, get your cliches right: liberals don’t talk about this with their “physc drs,” they get triggered and need a safe space. You’re not even trying, dude.

Diego Carrera, an Alex Jones fan in Medford, Oregon was so distraught that anyone would dare say anything mean about his hero that he spent his Friday night going through the trouble of tracking Robyn down on Facebook and commenting on her photos. He even sent her this beautiful and thoughtful note!

Enjoy your new Google search results, Diego! Surely your mom and any future employers or dates will think harassing women on the internet over an article about how a weird conspiracy theorist is wrong about something is way cool. [Obviously, you are not to doxx him or harass him. The point here is that tracking people down on Facebook is creepy]

The piece on Michelle Obama’s weenus also brought a couple of important observations from “George S,” who has this wonderfully creative avatar that is certainly novel and unique. Does the mighty magic of Pepe the Frog not trigger you, and make you wish to pour out your liberal fears to your physc dr? Anyway, “George” wrote this stupid shit about Michelle Obama, to put her in her place:

  • monkey ape nig ger.
  • no matter what is a nig ger that should be lynched.

That’s some pretty impressive evidence of White Racial Superiority, you ask us. No wonder these guys are the ascendant political faction of today. Note also his careful spacing trick, to baffle the bad-word deletion filters we don’t have (not that we welcome that one). Get that man a tiki torch!

More great thoughts, also on the Obamas, from “Baron Karza,” who kept it simple and stupid:

Obama is a fucking scumbag.

Normally, we might pass right over a comment like that were it not for “Baron Karza’s” fascinating comment history, which is a mix of perfectly predictable wingnut stuff about cucks, criminal blacks committing black crime, and saving beautiful Confederate monuments, plus some remarkably nerdy nitpicks on everything the Disney sequels to Star Wars have gotten wrong, like how the ship designs aren’t unique or inspiring, and just keep rehashing Ralph McQuarrie’s work from 40 years ago. Guy has a rich inner life.

On another topic, our story about the Border Patrol’s brave determination to keep scooping up undocumented immigrants during Hurricane Harvey brought this fresh thinking from “Atheist Right,” who apparently believes Real Americans don’t use punctuation:

Oh no police doing their jobs what a crime it’s not like they cant evacuate they can evacuate they just might end up getting caught for their crimes as well if they’re dumb enough to risk their lives instead of getting deported I don’t care

“AtheistRight’s” avatar, depicting a communist being thrown from a helicopter, indicates he’s one of those brave rightwing Americans who thinks our nation would be considerably improved if only it would deal with political opponents like Augusto Pinochet did. Hahaha, throwing people out of helicopters is a hilarious joke, and the best way to help America become what the Founders wanted it to be: a 1970s rightwing dictatorship.

Our post on Jon McNaughton’s latest assault on fine art brought this context-free comment from “Matt Rhodes Âû”: who knows exactly what liberals are up to:

When the Dems stop pushing to have all white people enslaved and/or killed, maybe they will deserve a say. But when they support groups (Black Panthers) that openly call for us to die, then they are the enemy.

“Matt Rhodes Âû” (if the strange diacritical marks mean anything to wingnuts, somebody let us know, OK?) either thinks he, too, is stuck in the early 1970s. Or perhaps he is justifiably afraid of the New Black Panthers (both of them), what with their flagrant calls for Death To Whitey, or at least holding open doors for nice old white ladies at polling places. Let’s enjoy that panicky Fox News video from 2012 one more time:

We like the part where the Guest Expert is worrying about how intimidating the Panther guy looks, at the very moment he opens the door for the women. SCARY!

“Matt Rhodes Âû” also has an epic comment history, with many calls for a new civil war, because he can’t wait to kill him some leftist antifa scum:

Seriously: when is the right going to wise up, and start shooting these wastes of space. If each attendee empties 5-6 30-rd magazines, we could start making America Great Again.

He’s all about wholesale slaughter to make America Great Again; he thinks a nuclear war against North Korea would be a great idea, and when someone pointed out that millions of South Koreans would die, what with Seoul in range of the North’s conventional artillery, ol’ “Matt” was cool with that:

Simple: you sacrifice them on the altar of freedom. All that matters is saving American lives.

Same goes for the tens of thousands of Americans in South Korea, we’d assume. He’s not saying we wouldn’t get our hair mussed.

It’s almost impressive how “Matt Rhodes Âû” has a mass killing plan for almost any eventuality, like maybe California secession:

I say let them secede, then invade them as a hostile foreign country. Blockade their ports, shoot down any air traffic to and from, and wall them off from the rest of the US. They would surrender to our dominion after a month.

We think “Matt Rhodes Âû” may have tipped his hand, though, in this comment on a gun blog’s post about a handgun manufactured by a separatist republic in Donetsk, Ukraine:

As an American that helped the oppressed people of Crimea and Donbass rise up and combat the Nazis in charge of Ukraine, I can tell you that these weapons are going to be great. The rebels are some of the brightest people you could ever hope to meet, and I miss being over there greatly.

Yup, we Americans always use phrases like “the oppressed people of Crimea and Donbass” and we consider the pro-Western Ukrainian government is a bunch of Nazis. Plus, we’re always rushing off to help oppressed people rise up and join the freedom fighters who ally themselves with Mother Russia, don’t we? Sort of puts all those calls for Americans to start shooting other Americans in a different perspective, we think.

Or maybe “Matt Rhodes Âû” is just a brave dude who splits his time between trolling internet comments sections and being a mercenary, because in another comment, he claims to have fought with a Kurdish militia…against another U.S. ally (albeit an icky ally), imagine that!

I do want Turkey as an enemy. When I was helping the YPG 2 years ago, I collected 5 Turkish scalps during a unprovoked attack by the Turkish Army. They shot children and laughed about it. I killed those 5 men, and I wish I’d have gotten 50. Turkey deserves to be wiped off the face of the planet.

So, Armchair Warrior or Russian Troll? The IP address appears to be from Ohio, but those can be spoofed. Discuss in the comments, which of course we don’t allow.

Finally, on the general topic of trolling, we’d be remiss if we didn’t call your attention to this Tweet, which is wholly unrelated to Wonkette, but entirely cromulent for today’s ShitFerBrains:

We say it’s scream shitting, and we’re going to use it whenever we can.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Please click that “Donate” linky to help. If you experience scream shitting, please see your physc dr.

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  • Anna Rompage

    Sounds like Matt Rhodes is aiming to be the next James Holmes… (the mass shooter, and not John Holmes brother)

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Diego doesn’t realize that his given name and surname means he’ll be deported without regard to his citizenship status, does he?

    • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

      Maybe someone should anonymously tip off ICE.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • eggs ackly-wright

    No shit posting. Shit frosting is better.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Um, “heat shape hips”? Dafuq does that even mean?

    • Fun with Cthulhu

      A startling lack of familiarity with hips, or really anything in the bathing suit area.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        A common thing with MRA types.

    • doktorzoom

      All deletia copied verbatim :)

      • puredog

        Hey, how about a “[sic]” from time to time?

    • Daniel

      Give him a break. It’s an obvious error, a pelvic flaw.

    • efoveks

      Maybe supposed to be “heart shaped hips”?

      • “M”

        That’s … worse, not better.

        • willi0000000

          that makes absolutely no sense at all . . . what do you mean “better” . . .? . . . and what’s this “worse” you type about?

          [ enquiring minds don’t give a shit! ]

          • “M”

            ‘k
            Since you apparently haven’t noticed, we have a national emergency going on. How about you try to go make yourself useful instead of yelling at people on teh internetz to try to get them to pay attention to you?

          • willi0000000

            just returning the serve.

          • “M”

            SURE, JAN

  • Fun with Cthulhu

    You scream, I scream, we all scream for shit scream. Nope, does not work.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    you are going to have an awful lot to talk about with your therapist/physc dr come this next week

    And I’m sure the good doctor will appreciate the good laugh when he or she realizes that this deleted commenter expects to be taken seriously. Good times!

    • Celtic_Gnome

      My physc dr is named Zoom. Swear by him.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    The notion that Ukraine is some sort of fascist regime is a steady Russian trope nowadays; ironic in that Russia is a kleptocratic authoritarian regime that’s only missing some of the pomp and circumstance of outright fascism.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Has Russia stopped doing the big military parades of the Soviet days?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Um, has anyone told Diego that free porn is readily available on the internet? Might make him a much happier person, you know…

    http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/07/07315020af89f04cc62a75af473f835a190a1a0c16ef1fe45428c12bf6485575.jpg

    • Fun with Cthulhu

      Exactly, he can then satisfy his insatiable curiosity about cock size.

  • Fun with Cthulhu

    Diego Carrera, of Medford Oregon is curious about cock size. Let everyone know.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Matt Rhodes reminds me of the nimrods I used to argue with who saw no problem with nuking Baghdad while we still had U.S. forces there.

  • eggs ackly-wright

    Basketball Jones is better than Alex Jones.

    • Villago Delenda Est
      • Serai 1

        Wow, just went looking for the original animation and find it’s been pulled from Youtube. Bummer!

    • Fun with Cthulhu

      Dead Jim Jones is better than Alex Jones.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Does the mighty magic of Pepe the Frog not trigger you, and make you wish to pour out your liberal fears to your physc dr?

    No, but the bad psychadelic imagery behind Pepe makes me want to suggest that George S find a graphic designer, stat…

    http://ct.fra.bz/ol/fz/sw/i60/2/4/8/frabz-boo-Your-art-sucks-and-you-should-feel-bad-cc38b0.jpg

  • Iam Reading

    Somehow, in the Trump era, the deleted comments seem somewhat redundant

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    It must have been, I don’t know, 2005/06? That I was very deep into 9/11 and trying to uncover the cover up. I was following people like David Griffin, Steven Jones, and I was therefore confronted with Alex Jones. I thought he was a bad mouthed but genuine guy trying to uncover the truth. Later he became more and more of a person whose opinion I was starting to take less and less seriously. Breaking point must have been the time he was standing in front of a hotel where a Bilderberg meeting was taking place with a bullhorn calling out people about the NWO.

    I see he became much worse.

    My little trip to the CT people has given me a lot of help to divide the nuts from the nuggets.

    • efoveks

      Ah, the Bilderberg conference… that thing has birthed more conspiracies than the moon landing or the grassy knoll I think.

  • Cock Blockula

    Sounds like Matt Rhodes Âû is confusing a combat RPG with reality. Or off his meds. Or from Russia (without love). How about all of the above?

  • TJ Barke

    Fucking postmodernism has become a cancer…

  • Serai 1

    I’m amused by Diego Carrera and how he clearly thinks he’s safe because he’s one of the “good” Latins. His white racist buds would NEVER turn on him, no sirree!

  • Ricky Gay

    These trolls are weak and sad. Perhaps Donald will pardon them vigorously.

  • proudgrampa

    Every week, when I go through the deleted comments, I realize that the more I know people, the more I like my dog.

    • clairence

      I have to admit, Deleted Comments is one of my favorite parts of the week.

    • efoveks

      Clearly you’re a communist ;)

    • mancityRed6

      the more I know people, I’m glad I’m alone. except for the cats.
      at least their shit is easier to clean up.

    • Amy!

      Me, too.

      And I don’t even have a dog!

      But I like it better than I like these deleted comment people.

    • willi0000000

      after observing the human race for more than 6½ decades i can see why Nicola Tesla liked pigeons more.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    scream shitting – add it to the Wonkette lexicon.

  • proudgrampa

    screamshitting.

    Is THAT what they call hemorrhoids these days?

    • mancityRed6

      it’s “that spicy food tasted so good last night, but now…”

      • proudgrampa

        New meaning to the phrase, “his ass was smokin’!”

        • mancityRed6

          it’s the pucker factor. how low your asshole has to go to kiss that sweet cool water in the toilet.

      • Ωbjectifier

        C’mon ice cream!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    “Baron Karza’s” fascinating comment history

    I’m morbidly curious–how bad can it be?

    (clicks link)

    http://troll.me/images/bert/-what-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-you.jpg

    • BloviateMe

      It’s weird reading out of context. “Farah eats dick.”

      huh.

  • BloviateMe

    Turkish scalps? Russian dude read some old westerns and figure that’s what Americans do?

    • therblig

      whatever happened to ears on a string? no one appreciates the old traditions anymore.

      • efoveks

        I do in fact know someone who did that (in Viet Nam). He spent time in the brig for it

        • LaylaOhGee

          Yep. I’m pretty sure that scalping the enemy is a war crime.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    “AtheistRight’s” avatar, depicting a communist being thrown from a helicopter

    I thought wingnuts had moved on to demonizing Muslims now? Or are communists the new black–never out of style?

    • proudgrampa

      Really. Who talks about Communism these days?

      • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

        Republicans. Democrats are the new Communists.

    • clairence

      “not us” takes many forms.

    • jesterpunk

      Can they even define communism?

      • Count Awesome

        They define it as anyone that disagrees with them.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Nailed it. It’s a pejorative without any substantive meaning in their use.

          • Wee Mousie

            Which is how they can call the same opponent both a Nazi and a Communist.

            (There’s a chapter in Mein Kampf that explains how to combine those.)

      • proudgrampa

        They don’t have a clue…

      • TJ Barke

        To them? Basically it’s treating everyone fairly. Treating everyone fairly is communism to these people.

        • Wee Mousie

          And spending one single tax dollar on a starving infant is Socialism, and worse than the clap they can’t seem to get rid of.

    • mancityRed6

      ahh, but Pinochet was supported by us at the time, no?

    • Daniel

      I don’t know when it happened, but someone on the “alt-right” found out the bare bones of Operation Condor and the dirty war in South America, and learnt the scantest possible information about Pinochet.

      Obviously because nothing matters any more, they took Pinochet’s photo and replaced his head with Pepe the frog’s and started making memes about “free helicopter rides”, it’s just a joke, lighten up, and anyway people were criticising their video games and making films with literal women in the title roles and sometimes even black people. It was quite simply genocide of the white race. Fortunately the white race, resilient as ever, rebounded sufficiently to show those people how little they cared about anything because everything is a joke by threatening people with death.

      Things they know about Pinochet:
      1) he was fascist
      2) he wore a flamboyant uniform
      3) he killed left wingers. And people accused of being left wing. And people who were not left wing but were related to people who were. And students.
      4) helicopters!

      They don’t know he was propped up by democratic governments and that his own regime collapsed when left to its own devices, nor that it was set up not by fascists but by Randian libertarians.
      And it failed.
      Like fascism always does.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      When you re a wingnut, whoever is the “them” at the moment is never out of style.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Malia tells a crazy lady to fuck off (not literally):

    Former President Barack Obama’s elder daughter Malia was harassed by a woman fan seeking a photo for her grandchild outside a Harvard Square eatery in Cambridge, Massachusetts, Saturday, TMZ reported.

    According to the report, the woman approached Malia as she was about to enter a salad shop and requested for the photo, which she declined politely.

    However, the woman waited for Malia to exit the shop.

    “Are you gonna take it in my face like an animal in a cage,” Malia retorted when the woman clicked her outside the establishment.

    (i don’t hear “in a cage” in the audio”)

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/08/malia-obama-shoots-down-woman-persisting-in-taking-her-picture-after-she-politely-declined/

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    When the Dems stop pushing to have all white people enslaved and/or killed

    Yeah, get back to me when we’re being kidnapped, separated from our families, and put on the auction block, asshole…

    http://newscult.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/Screen-Shot-2015-02-25-at-2.34.07-PM-1.jpg

    • Stulexington

      Well today’s your lucky day cause not only have they stopped, that never happened!

    • Christopher Story

      I mentioned on here before, but it’s interesting enough, I think, to repeat. I have actually had conversations with white nationalists who, while not coming right out and saying it, are obviously distressed over the prospect of becoming a minority race because they genuinely believe that the other minorities will visit unto them the same racist villainy they wrought unto them.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        A gay friend’s general response back in the 80’s to worries straight men had of being propositioned in public restrooms, “Get over yourself.”

        • Christopher Story

          Honestly, when do we start hashtaging “#whitepanic”?

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    I am shocked, shocked I tell you, that whenever anybody explicitly defines “make America great again”, it boils down to “kill lefties”.

    • TJ Barke

      I’ll take a few with me if they try.

  • Michael R
  • Carpe Vagenda

    (CBS News veteran, author and White House expert) Chris Whipple to Alex Witt:

    “All Trump knows how to do is divide and demonize. That’s not governing, that’s campaigning.”

    He went on to praise stand-out CoS Dick Cheney.

    Ladies and gentlemen and you guize, our permanent political class.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      What’s frightening is that given the choice between Trump and Cheney, I’d take Cheney. That’s what this country has come to.

      • Wee Mousie

        Me too, and I’d rather have Chlamydia Cancer than have Cheney.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I’m on the fence. On balance I’m pretty sure Cheney would rather his grandchildren have two-eyed trout to fish for while the world burns.

        It’s just the serene unconcern of these two political specialist journalists discussing the obvious fact that the appropriate time for our political leaders to inflame hate by talking bullshit targeting minorities is during their campaigns.

        Also, if Alex Witt has to send a satellite truck out after the GPS tag on one of their tame Trump voters, she’s going to get someone to say Gorka is no big deal before this day is out.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Simple: you sacrifice them on the altar of freedom. All that matters is saving American lives.

    And the wingnuts ask “why won’t our allies pay their fair share!?!?!”

    /FFS

    • Count Awesome

      They forget that the “Altar of Freedom” only excepts self-sacrifice as payment.

    • TJ Barke

      If you’re sacrificing people on an altar, what you have is not freedom.

  • thewalkindude

    Hey,”Mr. President”, any thoughts on the devastation the people of Texas are enduring? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/002bd9f51f8cd39a3499ee7b839f86975f4f9f058c0d83d7463ce2124bf4a2f3.jpg

    • mancityRed6

      will win S? also, where in Missouri? if it’s KC, I have a backpack and access to vinegar.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        what is CM?

        • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

          Claire McCaskill, I think

          • mancityRed6

            yeppers

    • mancityRed6

      jeebus, Springfield? nope, not worth the drive.
      good lord, the last time I was there (’06), they still have their stoplights on timers.

    • Wee Mousie
      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        My dog’s poop is smarter than Trump.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      What is this bafflegab? Did he have a stroke? And how will we be able to tell?

  • Sophia

    Steve Montenegro state senator defending trump’s pardon on CNN. Nothing as frustrating as this. Time to turn the TV off.

    • eyelashviper

      Morons Are Governing America….still.

      • Sophia

        Dude is an immigrant from El Salvador. I can’t even.

        • eyelashviper

          Stockholm Syndrome.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i was just reading they brought on Corey Landowski to give his opinion on the storm/flooding.

      Fuck that guy.

      • mancityRed6

        I hate, absolutely unrepentantly, absolutely hate that he has my name
        fuck him.

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          Your real name is Douchenozzle?

          • mancityRed6

            you shut your mouth
            Corey dammit. I’ve only literally met 3 in my lifetime.

          • Résistance Land Shark Ω

            I didn’t think you were one of the Missouri Douchenozzles …

            And it does suck when your name pops up on an asshole.

          • bupkus231

            Just think what we Dicks feel like….

          • Celtic_Gnome

            All the dicks I know seem to be feeling unrelenting economic anxiety.

          • mancityRed6

            born in Kansas, raised in Missouri. it took me 30 years to get back home.
            via Michigan, Tennessee and Wales.

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        So what does he think of storms and flooding? My guess is that he is for them.

    • eggs ackly-wright

      Fucking infuriating.

  • Belasaurius

    what the fuck did I just read? Ah fuck it time for hurricane BBQ

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific
    • BloviateMe

      I love the classics. That guy kills me. Look at his little chest all puffed up. He’s very smrt and physically intimidating and stuff, just ask him.

    • DainBramage

      It’s obvious that the “85” in his name is his IQ, which he thinks is really high. They love to brag about their supposed IQs, and his is higher than he can count.

  • eyelashviper

    I spent a full minute in front of the mirror to try to see my “heat shaped hips”…nothing.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I say let them secede, then invade them as a hostile foreign country.
    Blockade their ports, shoot down any air traffic to and from, and wall
    them off from the rest of the US. They would surrender to our dominion
    after a month.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6b1ef6028b728403d2dd8a7f66af794e5a5a976e1d2953cde88c7b908f989ddb.jpg

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i was just thinking, “Doesn’t CA grow like PLENTY of damn food to carry on without the rest of us?”

      • Count Awesome

        We grow enough food to feed ourselves and then some. We also have two of the busiest ports in the country. We’d do fine.

      • efoveks

        We also have several military bases and Lawrence Livermore Lab. Also too, many farmers with pitchforks…

      • Latverian Diplomat

        I’m thinking, that without the steady flow of CA produced porn, the rest of the country would surrender to their dominion in a few days.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          That’s it. We cut off their internet access. Bring them to their knees in 24 hours.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        I also believe that the Republic of California is mostly energy self-sufficient AND has the endpoints for several of the internet’s key underwater cables. Hmmm ….

      • Stulexington

        Even if not, we’d still trade with them and also too pretty sure blowing up civilian transports from other nations is considered and act of war and stuff.

  • The Flaming Carrot

    George S. is from Antioch. ‘Nuff said.

  • Johnnymoreno

    Gorka on Breitbart, comparing himself to Obi Wan Kenobi. I think that makes Trump princess Lea….not sure tho.

    • efoveks

      He shouldn’t wear white! I do protest.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “And I’m not racist, I have a black friend who is just like Mace Windu.”
      — Gorka Wan Know-nothing

    • mancityRed6

      I’m not drunk enough for that to make any sense at all.
      give me a minute.

    • Daniel

      Obi Wanker No B.(A).

      I mean, it’s not quite as punchy as I’d like but I think the point is clear.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Well, he does remind me of a bearded Force-user. Specifically, Count Dooku.

    • Trump is Jar Jar Binks

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Star Wars Rebels has way too many female characters, so naturally a true he-man is going to have to respond to that by using his superior spatio-gomermetric skills to harp on their space ship designs. That’s just science.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      “How dare they make a Twi’lek character who isn’t an exotic dancer or prostitute.” – how I envision his inner dialogue

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    When “former dogcather who had to leave the state” is all you’ve got for your profile, you really shouldn’t be on Facbook at all.

    • TJ Barke

      No one should be, really.

      • mancityRed6

        ehh, I get on there every once in a blue moon. it’s good to keep up with the friends in Joplin, and the first ex.
        the second ex gets skipped now.

        • TJ Barke

          I have exactly zero interest in learning how much better my old friends are doing than me. I super don’t want to learn about how “The One that Got Away” is married now with two beautiful children or something…

          • mancityRed6

            oh, god no. when my parents got my first high school reunion letter, I told them to say I was dead.
            these are friends that I have chosen. and I feel for them staying in Joplin and all.
            god, that is a shitty town.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            eh, plenty of them are worse off. Trust me.

            But I get ya.

          • TJ Barke

            Not the friends I had.

          • mancityRed6

            one of the guys in my graduating class was actually mayor for a term.
            of the town we grew up in.
            a town with more dog bite calls than citizens.
            I really fear for my parents.

          • Résistance Land Shark Ω

            Only one?

          • TJ Barke

            Only one what?

          • Résistance Land Shark Ω

            Only one got away? I would have thought there would be many …

      • bbayliss

        Fish bowl

    • mancityRed6

      *changes profile*
      ummm, okay?

    • AndreWaters20

      He meant to say “dog catheter”. When one of my dogs needs a catheter, I’ll be sure to look him up. Or maybe he meant it metaphorically?

      • Marion in Savannah

        You beat me to it!

    • Me not sure

      After the pug abuse scandal he had to take it on the lam.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos
    • mancityRed6

      a friend of mine and I almost put an inflatable boat out on a creek that looked like that.
      we thought for a minute and said no.
      I’m fairly certain they had their chance and missed it. still, bad.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        The news said people in Houston were given conflicting orders to evacuate and to shelter in place by governor and mayor.

        • mancityRed6

          I’m not judging. this is bad all around.

        • eyelashviper

          Chilling, and so familiar. You’d think that Katrina taught leaders how to manage such a monstrous storm.

          • Count Awesome

            It must be the FEMA camps I’ve heard so much about.

          • Daniel

            Corey Lewandowski has been on Fox today to explain how this is potentially very beneficial for the President.

            And I normally don’t do the “what if this had been Obama?” but this time, seriously- could you imagine the reaction of Fox news to an Obama associate saying that a major natural catastrophe like this would be advantageous to him?

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            IKR?

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            I agree completely; but for a moment I want to get back to his “point,” that this is potentially beneficial for Dolt 45. How? Does he think the orange bumblefuck will actually do anything productive? That only liberals will drown (thus raising his percentage somehow retroactively)? That having nobody in charge of NOAA in retrospect will seem like a good thing?
            I know I’m just wasting brain cells here, trying to think like a trumpanzee. But still.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            cause a semi-comptent response will make him look good (despite the work of the rescues and response being done by emergency management professionals.)

            “See! I did all that.” – DJT
            Despite these people train and plan for this shit all the time.

            Taking credit he’s not due – it’s a thing he does.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            Well, that’s true. The same people who jumped all over Obama for his “you didn’t build that” comment will be thrilled to credit 45 for something he didn’t, in fact, do at all.

          • Daniel

            If the whole thing goes well (and I should stress I really hope it does- if possible with literally no loss of life) then it will give Trump bragging rights and support his followers’ belief that he’s fixing the government- FEMA is understaffed at the moment, but if this catastrophe is dealt with well it will be seen as proving that those staff that aren’t there aren’t needed.
            Trump has successfully trimmed the fat. He’s won.

            If something worse than that happens, Trump will blame FEMA itself. No shit will cling to him- he didn’t do anything, it’s not his fault. This is true of every mistake he makes with his cack-handed attempts to behave like an actual leader. He won’t accept responsibility, and so neither will his supporters.

            Trump and his whole cadre deem success measurable by the cult-like hold they maintain over the rubes they have following them. If those people still come to his rallies and still support him, this will have been seen as a success.

            I am honestly not sure that he won’t use this as a justification for pulling out of Paris, and his followers will think that’s right.

          • Eileen Besse

            Yeah, we would think so–wouldn’t we? I guess in a sane universe, yeah….

        • Sophia

          One of those 20/20 hindsight things. Mayor was worried about thousands of people on the road during flash floods.

    • eyelashviper

      Are you OK?
      Just watching this disaster unfold is making me sick.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        yeah, i’m far away from the rains…we might get some of the leftover pieces of the storm, but i doubt it. It seems to be movng really slow.

        • mancityRed6

          still, not good.
          keep an eye on the hills…wait, the highways.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          Great aunt is sheltering several Rockport relatives in her 2 bedroom San Antonio condo. Two families, a toddler, an infant, and four yapping Yorkies. Still, they’re safe.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            good on her – i really really didn’t think houston would get this hard – which shows why I don’t work in meteorology or emergency managment.

            In my limited experience with hurricanes, they tend to fall apart pretty quickly when they hit land.

            BUT, I know Houston has a flooding problem and has for years.

          • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

            Have family in Houston also, but they are on high ground. Thank God. Still, getting around to get food, water, medication, and basic supplies is going to be tough for a while, even for those not directly threatened by flooding. Read that some of the freeways were flooded to the bottom of those massive overhead signs.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            there’s a photo floating out there of teh freeway and yeah, just about.

          • The Robert Scribbler blog has great discussions on climate and weather disasters for laymen who accept science. As of Sunday afternoon, Harvey is expected to drop two to three feet more of rain in this area. It’s not going anywhere – it’s going to sit on Houston until it runs out of water, around Saturday the second.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        also, thank you for asking. That’s kind.

        • eyelashviper

          Intertube buddies are still buddies…have been very worried about all Tejas peeps.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            thanks everyone – we have some folks that are nearby in Austin, one or two in San Antone, and at least one in houston.

        • mancityRed6

          baby, we’re all pulling for you
          and others.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Oh my. I once lived along Braeswood.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      What about the tunnels under the Walmarts? Did those get evacuated also too? /s

      Friends in Houston suburbs are heading out to higher ground.

  • eyelashviper

    Wonder if Kelly has blocked access to Alex Jones?
    How’s the Hoofwanker gonna do his research and pondering?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fdbf9a06e648d14febfd3992aca50bf7d26ef6dfcc8cfc488ae8e173c3a5c073.png?w=600&h=786

    • altleftjohn

      His other finger is up his ass.

      • eyelashviper

        His one actual skill…

      • Count Awesome

        He’s using his whole fist.

      • bupkus231

        He’ll have better luck finding it there, rather than looking up his nose…

      • george lastrapes

        When he gets bored he switches fingers.

    • FONEBONE LIBULZ!!1!!!!!!

      (And add nose-picking sound effect ‘Smeercht smeercht smeercht!’)

    • george lastrapes

      If you look carefully at the hair on top of the PeeResident’s head, it appears to grow out of the scalp in a normal way, but then it goes through strange contortions and appears to actually RE-ENTER the SCALP, as though the individual strands were closed loops being continuously recycled.
      This is far ahead of terrestrial toupee/transplant technology, millennia ahead. I hesitate to draw the obvious conclusion. But there it is. The evidence cannot be ignored.

  • The Flaming Carrot

    I’m guessing this George S. is the son of George S., age 52, of Antioch, Illinois who was apparently quite put out that several people had given him a not-so-great rating.

    George’s Story
    “tried to help people,family and friends got fucked over by them.this world sucks and sodo people.I gave away so much to help others now I am broke.no one will help me.they have told me to get lost after giving them help.trust is a lost word in my vocabulary.THIS WORLD SUCKS,BLOW IT SEE WHO LIVES IS MY WAY.you people have no right to do this crap.I hope your life gets to the point and people point fingers.wHAT DO I FOR HELPING PEOPLE ,LIED ABOUT,SCAMMED ,ECT.WOULD LOVE TO DESTROY YOUR COMPANY ON LIES.”

    And here I thought that all Nazis were from well-adjusted and functional households!

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    So Texas has it’s second “500 year flood” in 18 months. South Carolina had a 1000 year flood not long ago. I can’t make up my mind – biblical vengeance from a wrathful god, or climate change.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      God forgot how to count

      • Sophia

        Should have carried the 4

    • mancityRed6

      who’s president now? oh, yeah.
      vengeance.

    • Count Awesome

      “Why is God punishing us for the gays and the libtards?”

      • Dudleydidwrong

        Bad aim. Needs more practice time at the range.

    • george lastrapes

      Real Estate developers and other movers and shakers are partially to blame. They put pressure on planners to downgrade the probability of floods, which probability is estimated by none other than climate scientists.
      It was a grim joke in Austin- ‘a hundred-year-flood, every three years, guaranteed!’.

    • george lastrapes

      I can’t say it’s not both. If there is a God, he’s probably angry about what we’re doing to the planet, and He’s probably saying, “I would smite them, but they are smiting themselves already.”

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Texas prayed for rain. Now they’re complaining.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Ungrateful.

    • puredog

      I like to think God is aiming at Ted Cruz, but using broad brush strokes.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    So much shit screaming, so few umlauts. Circumflex îs sô hâwt rîght nôw!

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Matt is clearly one of the more stupid member of the 101st Chairborne, probably with a lifetime subscription to Soldier of Fortune.

  • weejee

    Dear AZCardsFan85, the NFL Cardinals’ last championship was 1947, the year before when my bride and I were born. Likely, it will be 2047 before their next. sad

    • mancityRed6

      but, wasn’t that St Louis?
      oh, and ’47 was baseball.

      • Ωbjectifier

        It was the Chicago Cardinals in ’47.

        • mancityRed6

          I was wearing a hat and met a woman in KC who claimed to help pick the colors for the KC Athletics.

    • Bitter Scribe

      Homer the new mayor: “Now we just sit back and wait for an NFL franchise.”

      (Guy with briefcase walks up) “Excuse me, sir, I couldn’t help overhearing you. I represent the Arizona Cardinals…”

      Homer: “Keep walkin’.”

  • Ωbjectifier

    AZCardsFan85 is what’s known as a ‘moderate republican’ in Arizona.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    I love the CNN weather people “don’t go in to the flooded streets, like we’re doing right now, to show you how deep the water is, because it’s dangerous.” Ummm…I’m pretty sure people wouldn’t be walking around in knee deep water if they didn’t have a pretty compelling reason.

    • Count Awesome

      The white folk are out “foraging” while the browns are our “looting”.

      • BeachBum

        Tomahto, potahto.

    • mancityRed6

      honestly, you’d be surprised.
      the street in Lawrence flooded, the water line was at least 8 feet away from the curb. people still tried to drive through it.

      • eyelashviper

        When I lived in south Florida, it was amazing how often people would wander out, even before a storm was over, to look around, or drive around. More than a few fatalies from that curiosity, some from electrocution, others from driving into a canal or pond because they couldn’t tell where the road ended and the deep water began.
        Seriously, there should have been a clarion call once the weather map showed this monster storm hanging over the area, and dumping feet of water on Houston.

        • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

          I was JUST thinking this about my time i South Florida. my first summer there was Dennis, Katrina, and Wilma. I knew nothing about hurricanes (desert rat), so I looked up what to do.

          They tell you DON’T go out into the eye or right after – you don’t know what debris is out there, trees, downed power lines.

          I SWEAR, five minutes after one storm passed – here come people wandering outside. People even hopped in their cars and were, I think, just randomly driving around. It was fucking stupid.

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            Darwin Award winners.

        • mancityRed6

          I got home first and left first in the morning, so I parked on the street and the ex would pull whatever vehicle in behind her when she got home.
          one time it was raining when she got there so the car stayed out on the street.
          I happened to look out side to see water up the side of it and went out to pull it into the driveway. it almost died. the water was literally a half inch away from the bottom of the door.

        • Panika MCD

          they still had a bunch of DUIs in Houston last night. Art was exasperated with them.

          • puredog

            Well, how the hell you supposed to drive through that shit SOBER?

          • Panika MCD

            if you’re a first responder?

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      it’s frickin’ good advice.

      I remember when houston flooded right before 9/11, I think, our station in Austin was taking/airing a ton of footage from our sister station in Houston (KHOU).

      Anyway, somewhere someone was talkin gabout walking around in that crap is a SUPER bad idea…there’s literal crap, dead animals, all kinds of various bacterias – not to mention you don’t really know how deep it is OR what’s at the bottom. (I stepped on a nail once covering some minor flooding in Austin. It wasn’t that deep, I just didn’t see it).

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Should have read your post.
        You said it better.
        And also, my Dad passed away in NC during Hurricane Dennis in NC back in 1999. I came out to help with cleanup, family affairs, and of course the funeral. The mosquito population just explodes, and they are viciously hungry. Repellent works for about 1/2 hour.

        • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

          nah, you had more examples of the nastiness in the soup.

          Sorry about your dad. Mine’s gone too. Can’t imagine dealing with all the arrangements AND a damn hurricane.

          • covfefesumgame0005

            sorry about your dad, and a-freaking-MEN to the hungry ‘skeeters there!

      • george lastrapes

        Remember the Memorial Day flood in Austin, I forget the year? I was stuck on 2222, watched the famous Cadillac convertible with four real estate developers in it (?) try to cross flash-flooding Bull Creek. They wouldn’t listen, whoever they were.

        • Panika MCD

          it was 2015. I remember the interim hearings about it.

          • george lastrapes

            Nonono. This was the late 70s, early 80s. Biblical flood era. Still happening, of course.

          • Panika MCD

            2015 was pretty biblical because the ground was so dry that it wasn’t absorbing any of the water.

          • george lastrapes

            I googled it up: 1981. Again in 2015. Now a tradition.

      • Panika MCD

        KHOU studio is flooding, but they’re still broadcasting.

        • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

          i just read they evacuated the building and are off the air.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Yeah, it’s a bad idea to go out in rising waters, because you don’t know how bad things are going to get. I just thought it was funny that CNN was making it sound like people were out for a stroll. They’d see a family walking down the street with kids on their shoulders, and they’d say “why are these people walking through flooded streets?” I’ll take “worried about getting trapped in a flooded house, or car, for $200, please, Alex.”

      • In east Texas you have live animals to worry about too – water moccasins and gators come to mind.

        Plus industrial poisons – gasoline, degreasers, agricultural chemicals, paint – several refineries are flooding. That stuff doesn’t boil out.

      • William_C_Diaz

        Ive lived through a couple of Houston hurricanes and floods during my time there and it can get really bad really fast. Since there is no zoning in Houston, there is no telling what is in the water when it gets rolling.

        I hope that your tacos remain dry.

        Have a great day!

    • Carpe Vagenda

      The woman on the street on MSNBC keeps pointing out that they’ve been trying all day to get to the cutoff portion of the city where the most people are stranded and not even the emergency services can get through.

      You know, honey, just a thought, how ’bout you hold off being a fucking ghoul until the Mayor says it’s OK to call 911 if you’re just trapped and not in imminent danger of drowning? Because maybe they have better things to do than save your perky dry ass.

      Wow, the not-liberals on MSNBC are terrible.

      • Panika MCD

        they’re using the Coast Guard to get to those people. they have a separate phone number for evacuations now. NYC is sending reinforcements.

        • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

          i just read 11 more choppers are on the way to houston.

      • covfefesumgame0005

        or at least load up on bottled water and canned food to distribute and bring back at least some moms and kids back with them to safer areas…just a random thought that no one else in the fucking media seems to have!

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Raw sewage, dead animals, tree limbs, spilled chemicals, downed power lines, random water snakes and alligators. Why the hell would you go out for a stroll unless you absolutely had to get somewhere?

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        human nature i guess – there’s a photo I saw today of some dude standing in waste deep water outside an apartment complex, just totally chilling.
        Ew.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          I’m sure that was a typo but it’s so apt I think you should let it stand.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            lol, yes (i’m been having problems with homophones recently).

            But i will let it stand!

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Or away from somewhere.

      • shastakoala

        Water damage sales start earlier and earlier every year.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        “Well, ma and I were just sittin’ here with the kids, and decided to go out for a stroll in this two feet of rapidly rising water” said nobody ever.

    • BeachBum

      It kills me that the Weather Channel has to always have someone stand in a hurricane to show us it is a hurricane. Is that the only way to inform the American People ? Never mind, I just answered that.

    • BeachBum

      In a state with Blue Laws, ya gotta git to the Package Store on Saturday. Or be sober on Sunday.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        in Texas, you can’t start selling beer on sunday till noon.

        I’m not sure if they even sell liquor on sunday, as I don’t drink it.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Egads…no!

    • Vincent Ricola

      “It’s deadly and dangerous! You WILL DIE if you come to the spot I am in right now! Look at that wind!”

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        My favorite from years ago, when I was hunkered down trying to figure out when to evacuate: “the interstate is completely packed and not moving, so evacuate now.” Errm…wouldn’t it be better to wait until the interstate was actually moving? I waited until the last possible moment, and it STILL wasn’t moving.

  • I’m just gonna note this is how Baron Karza ended up.

    http://art.cafimg.com/images/Category_27108/subcat_115798/Untitled-1.jpg

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    I kind of like the guy who doesn’t hate the Gay, he should meet up with the guy who knows A black.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    When asked about what he’s going to do about the flooding in Houston, Governor Abbott responded, “I Noah guy.”

    • eyelashviper

      Loaves, fishes, water to wine…it’s all under control.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      So he’s an ark reactor?

      • pstockholm

        I smell Ararat.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Who would dove thought?

  • John Iwaniszek

    “Screamshitting” could describe me to a “t”. It’s like he has a camera in my bathroom. He doesn’t, though. Right?

    • Count Awesome

      What would someone have to eat to cause that?

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Vindaloo is a usual suspect.

        • Count Awesome

          That must be British slang for what happens in the loo.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        OxyContin postop

    • mancityRed6

      no. not at all. and I’m not a subscriber.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Only if you’ve got a microwave in the bathroom.

      • William_C_Diaz

        That would make microwave burritos more efficient! Then you wouldnt have to eat them, they could go directly from the microwave to the toilet without an intermediate step.

        Have a great day!

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    It’s well known that most people who hate on Homosexuals who are oddly offended by Homosexually are usually gay themselves 99.9% of the time.

    I hate on Jennifer Aniston…because I want to be her…wait? did I get that right?

    • mancityRed6

      yes

    • Stulexington

      66.732% of all statistics are made up on the spot, like 89.4% of people know that.

      • BeachBum

        You are 110% right.

    • People who hate on Jennifer Anniston are Jennifer Anniston 99.9% of the time?
      https://i.imgflip.com/1srrg3.jpg

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I never trust anyone who starts off with the words “It is a well-known fact that…” and who then does not include any source that backs up their statement. I encounter this all the time on right-wing blogs, and I always post a comment that simply says “Sources, please” and then they ban me.

    • Count Awesome

      It is a well known fact they are bulllshitting you

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      When they start out with something like that, I start hearing Cliff Claven from Cheers.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Me too. For some reason Ralph Kramden from “The Honeymooners” also pops into my head.

      • eggs ackly-wright

        That fits. Ratzenberger is a wingnut.

    • Granny Sprinkles

      It is a well known fact that they ain’t got no time for your back-sass young lady.

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    Well what the hell am I supposed to call this now?

    https://i.ytimg.com/vi/RQWejyx0gi8/hqdefault.jpg

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Gearbox?

      • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

        Sure, force me to use that PC language. How come those “gearboxes” call themselves “tran nies”, but we white people can’t use that term without being kicked out of Jiffy Lube U!?

        It’s feminism run amuck!

    • Nockular cavity

      Jesus Built My Tranny.

    • BeachBum

      Needs moar torque converters !

  • eyelashviper

    Just wondering if the Houston Police and Fire Department have boats available for rescue? If not, they should, given the kind of flooding that occurs there. I’ve seen many image on teevee of fire trucks getting stuck, unable to go forward to try to rescue people.

  • Vincent Ricola

    The diacritical marks in Âû stand for “accent batshit”

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Google Translate says it’s Corsican for “To the”

  • Angela Ruzzo

    AZCardsFan85 says women have smaller hands than men. So is he saying Donald Trump is a woman?

    • Rick Hill

      Considering the mood swings I’d say some hormonal therapy may help

    • Wee Mousie

      If that were true, America’s own Pumpkin-hued Putin worshiper would have grabbed herself by her own pussy and raised herself up by her own Jackboots.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        “It is a well known fact that…” women have larger asses than men. Well, we’ve all seen that photo of Trump playing golf. His is way bigger than mine, and mine is no shrinking violet.

  • Panika MCD

    Harvey update:

    League City and parts of Houston are flooding up to second stories of houses and apartments. there were about 2,500 water rescues overnight and thousands more are waiting.

    Coast Guard has sent out 5 helicopters for search and rescue (something tells me they need more than that…oh yeah, Houston is enormous).

    NYC has dispatched their special response team of 120 NYPD and NYFD officers.

    areas around Austin are flooding and losing power, but not as badly as communities on Bastrop Co. immediately to our east.

    you can still donate $10 to the Red Cross by texting REDCROSS to 90999, BUT local social work organizations and churches should be considered for longterm relief donations.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      take care of yourself friend.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      You, Cary Cary, Prima Momma and Calliope Jane staying dry?

      • Panika MCD

        Cary Cary is in the bathroom hiding from the foster dog. Calliope Jane is chilling in her favorite chair. the foster dog, Jazzy, is going stir crazy and ripping apart many of Callie’s toys (took her from APA! to make room for evacuated animals…I have a toy run in my future). I’m trying to get a friend from college who I just discovered lives a block away to come over b/c he’s prone to depression.

      • Panika MCD

        Prima Momma’s assisted living facility (and all her cats) are high up on a hill.

        • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

          Good, good.

    • Sophia

      Hope you are safe

      • Panika MCD

        I’m fine and I still have power.

        • Sophia

          Good

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Haven’t checked in with friends in Onion Creek yet- they ALWAYS flood….

      • Panika MCD

        yes, they do.

      • Panika MCD

        they started flooding last night according to State Rep. Eddie Rodriguez who represents the area.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      No words from friends in Rivercrest in Houston for hours …

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        best wishes – hopefully it’s just jammed circuits or downed cell towers.

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          When they can, they’ll send word.

      • Panika MCD

        sorry. if you do hear from them, it is recommended they do not go to the attic unless they can get to the roof from there.

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          Take an axe with you is the recommi heard, so you can chop through to the roof.

          • Panika MCD

            yes.

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          They are old time disaster volunteers. More than likely, they are working at the old Texas Disaster Operations Center in Houston, and are a bit busy to FB …

          • Panika MCD

            good to hear.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Thank you for the update. I’ve been working long shifts since this happened and haven’t been able to really keep up with what’s going on.

      • Panika MCD

        oh, you missed that Port Aransas, Palacios and Rockport were pretty much wiped off the map yesterday. there’s also an adorable photo of a dog walking down the street in Sinton with a whole bag of dog food in his mouth. he is back with his family and the photo has gone viral.

    • eyelashviper

      BEST charity to donate for disaster relief..they have the highest score of all charities, and already are working to help peeps in TX.

      https://www.directrelief.org/?gclid=CP-d3JH399UCFYo7gQod53UNKA

  • Bitter Scribe

    OT, but this tweet, from @nycjayjay, is too good to keep to myself:

    “We should erect Obama statues in every small rural southern town. You know, to celebrate our shared history.”

  • Confusius say moron drink too much, not understand moderation
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/62b7d39b4a0236724d3ffb412ec20cbee60566946b33ad7889b79ecb53fa0d21.png

    Moderate long term intake is the path to God

    • Michael R
    • Count Awesome

      Confucius also say:
      “Man who smoke pot choke on handle.”
      “Child conceived in backseat of a car with automatic transmission is shiftless bastard.”
      “Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk.”

      • Wee Mousie

        Well, maybe, with a sufficiently wide stance.

        • puredog

          Check this with Wide Stance Hubby.

    • Vincent Ricola

      I once communicated with God thanks to a long-term intake too *wink wink wink wink nudge wink wink wink*

    • mancityRed6

      oh, me on mushrooms? yeah, it’s bad the first night
      the second night gets better, though.

    • Wee Mousie

      So that’s what happens to convince otherwise ordinary, remarkably unqualified Republican to run for president.

  • Granny Sprinkles

    I hope Matt Rhodes Âû comes back to tell us stories about the year he spent touring with the Dead, his girlfriend we haven’t met because she lives in Canada and her modeling career keeps her busy, and the time he single handedly carried his entire platoon out of a rice field after an ambush.

  • Rick Hill

    “Pay no attention…these aren’t the lies we want you to listen to…”

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      dumb assery – Don’t drive in the damn water!

      And I know that person knows that, as houston floods a lot and they ALWAYS say that on tv, over and over again – and yet people fucking do it, every time.

      • Stulexington

        Now if it was a jeep with a snorkel I can see someone going “I am never going to be able to do this again in my life” but that looks like a station wagon, kss your engine goodbye.

        • mancityRed6

          I’ve seen a few vehicles with snorkels here in Kansas, and I’m thinking they’re just for show.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          If more people suffered serious financial damage from their rampant acts of stupidity, there might be . . .
          Aw, fuck it. There’s always gonna be the “hold my beer” people.

          • Stulexington

            I think this is more a case of “but I need my smokes”

        • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

          During a flood once I watched cars drive into waters where a semi had stalled and was half sunk in water, and people still drove down into the flooded road. Cars were floating around. Idiots. My sister’s stupid boyfriend drove his car into it and then my sister’s after I warned him not to. Idiots.

          • Stulexington

            Ouch, hope she made him pay for replacing her car’s engine, and also too hope he’s now her ex.

        • BeachBum

          A Jeep with a snorkel would be cool ! I just don’t wanna live where I need one. Or to have to write my SS num on my arm in perm marker. But that’s just me.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        P.S. What really pisses me off is that dumbassery like this means more people need rescuin’.

        PLENTY OF PEOPLE NEED RESCUING RIGHT NOW!

        And not cause they went out and did something stupid.

        Ahem, sorry about the yelling.

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      Water, water everywhere and no one stops to think.

    • mancityRed6
    • a few inches in your home is not imminent danger

      “I thought you said that was a foot.”

      I’ll see myself out now… 🙄

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Never let a man measure the depth of water ….

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    I vote for keyboard warrior with active fantasy life. Actual soldiers who have experienced warfare aren’t usually that cavalier about slaughter, unless they are psychopaths. That’s another possibility.

    • mancityRed6

      and they don’t brag about it, either.

    • Count Awesome

      They also generally don’t talk about the horrors they saw.

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      He does know more than me about the gunz.

    • doktorzoom

      Oh, the possibility that anything he said might be anything but a complete fiction never even crossed my mind.

  • Christopher Story

    I scream shat once. I’d eaten an entire 99 cent bag of sunflower seeds, hull and all, and well, 8 hours and a wad of wooden splinters later… scream shitting.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      My stepdaughters once fed my toddler child what seemed like an entire large sized box of raisins, and I was left to change the resulting diapers. While she didn’t seem to be in much discomfort, I wanted to scream shat.

      • BeachBum

        I’m not sure about Karma and such things, but when your kids have kids, it certainly looks like it.

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        I once made a deal with the oldest of my brothers that I would feed our youngest brother spinach for the first time, if OldestBro would deal with the diaper change later. He smugly took that deal, thinking he had put one over on me.

        That’s why I smiled happily when YoungestBro enjoyed his introduction to spinach very much, and even more happily later, when I heard OldestBro yell frantically “oh my god, he’s shitting!! He’s shitting EVERYWHERE!!!” as YoungestBro giggle-shat all over the changing table without a qualm.

    • mancityRed6

      sugar free gummy bears.
      that is all.

    • BeachBum

      I hate when that happens and I cant remember what I ate. Siri is no help when you need her.

      • Christopher Story

        SIRI! For the love of God, what the hell is coming out of my ass and how do I make it stop!?!
        “Looking up proctologists in your area.”

        • puredog

          She needs you to upload a picture.

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    Simple: you sacrifice them on the altar of freedom. All that matters is saving American lives.

    What’s this alter of freedumb thing? Is this akin to “can’t make an omelet without destroying a few kitchens”?

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Personally I’d object to being sacrificed on the altar of freedumb. I contribute to Wonkette when I have the spare Ameros. That’s enough.

    • mancityRed6

      kitchen islands, that’s what their for.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I Googled Âû. It stands for Âutistic Ûnion, a group founded to support, celebrate and care for autistic people world wide. Âutistic Ûnion members and many other autistic individuals have chosen to include Âû in their Facebook name as a mark of identity.
    https://www.facebook.com/AutisticUnion

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Judging from his comments I’m assuming our deleted visitor was co-opting the symbol, don’t you think?

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I think this phenomenon is related to the number of people who excuse their inability to manage time, their poor memory, and their habits of procrastination by saying they have ADHD, when they don’t. Claiming to be autistic when you aren’t is a great excuse for failing to achieve one’s goals in life. Another good way to excuse one’s failures is to blame it on some woman, or on the government.

    • Walter Wellstone

      If that’s what it means he’s full of shit or he’s confusing his exploits on Call of Duty with fighting Turkish soldiers in real life: Not even Blackwater will take you if you’re autistic.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        He is so full of shit in so many ways that he needs an emergency colonoscopy.

    • ziggywiggy

      I figured he just thought it was really fancy gold.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        At first I thought it meant he was Australian, but that was before I noticed the diacritical marks. I am not wearing my reading glasses this morning.

  • Jennifer R

    Seeing that the hosting domain has dropped stormfront after 20 years of hosting them.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      you’re behind the curve friend! they tried to move to a russian hosting co. and then immediately got dropped there too.

      Supposedly they’re heading for hte dark web.

      • Jennifer R

        Stormfront is the *other* big nazi site.

        • mancityRed6

          dark web now

          • Jennifer R

            TOR isn’t this magical safe space people think it is.

          • Jennifer R

            It’s trivial to recreate who goes where if you take control of a few entry and exit nodes, for example.

          • Stulexington

            Or just ask them, I wonder how many people think law enforcement has no idea how to get on the dark web.

          • Jennifer R

            Law enforcement is part of the problem.
            If Anonymous really was interested in helping they would crack open policeone, their forums were notorious for being racist shitholes before they went private.

          • mancityRed6

            no, it isn’t. there have been major drug busts on that service.

    • Stulexington

      So what took them so long, had to wait for someone to literally die before they thought this was maybe kinda a bad thing?

      • gallbladder

        Apparently.

      • Jennifer R

        Yeah, they made web.com lots of money. A lawsuit from Lawyer’s Committee for Civil Rights Under Law shut them down in two days.

  • wait! what?
  • Sophia

    Probably lucky they are being paid at all

    Late Wages for Migrant Workers at a Trump Golf Course in Dubai

    The migrant workers make $200 to $400 a month, money that frequently comes weeks or months late, prompting recent strikes, according to interviews conducted by The New York Times with two dozen current and former workers at the Damac Hills course, where hundreds of laborers have been employed in recent years. The workers say they struggle to cover debts amassed in paying recruitment agents for their jobs, while confronting physical hardships and violations of their rights under local labor laws.

    Most of the workers interviewed by The Times have been employees of a local construction company, Al Arif, which has a contract from Damac to build parts of the course and surrounding villas at Damac Hills. They spoke on condition that they not be identified, citing risks they could be fired and deported, because their visas were sponsored by their employer.

    There is no evidence that Mr. Trump is aware of the conditions for the workers employed by the contractor at his golf course. He has handed over management of his company to two of his sons, Donald Jr. and Eric. The Trump Organization’s purview has been designing and managing the courses, leaving the construction to Damac.

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/26/business/trump-golf-course-dubai.html?_r=0

    • gallbladder

      There is no evidence that Mr. Trump is aware of the conditions for the workers employed by the contractor at his golf course.

      This comes as no surprise given that Drumpf is oblivious to the piss-poor condition he is leaving the country in.

      • Suttree

        He knows how his workers are treated in the U.S. Like shit and they are mostly foreigners. Why would he give a fuck about people half way across the world 5 feet from him?

    • Teecha

      Even if they knew, they wouldn’t give a fuck.

    • Suttree

      That is probably the same as every other immigrant worker in Dubai. They are treated like shit and it doesn’t matter if they die. Another body will fill that spot. Shit, I was wrong about pulling this article up but it isn’t any different in Dubai than Abu Dhabi. https://www.newyorker.com/books/page-turner/the-stories-about-abu-dhabi-that-are-rarely-told

      • Teecha

        Or many other gulf states.

        Some of us have slightly more privilege than others. But we are all at the mercy of those with more power.

        • Three Finger Salute

          And power always = $$$$$$$$$$$$

  • Eileen Besse
    • It looks better on you than me?
      https://youtu.be/VzPsdkTCufs

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Is that cutie yours?

      • Eileen Besse

        No, but I wish he were! Right now we “only”have cocker spaniel Lord Murphy of Lakeview, who is wickedly special since he is the ONLY only child ever. We’ve had four dogs at a time in Massachusetts and three of them made it down here (FL) with us in 2005. Murphy has no lineage to them–but he has all the good and rotten attributes of that breed, and we LOVE him!

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Cocker spaniels are sweet, although they seem to have bathroom issues.

  • The “tranny story…makes [Alex Jones] look retarded”.

    Too perfect! Nothing makes real conservative cry real tears like unjustified and sentimental respection about lost states of ignorance.

  • Suttree

    I am just going to assume that Azcards eats with a cork on a fork. Maybe on purpose to pyshc the left out. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/26b4b03c41f934b6f89f3620760dff28b9ee1dd5e9de1718a4037d73c8b0fd91.jpg

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Ever since the Friday night news dumps started being, ya know, amazing, my friend and I have developed this routine where she drives down after work and we go out to eat, or I cook, and all through the meal we both have our phone alerts on. Every few minutes one of us gasps, “OH MY GAWD” and the other one goes, “I KNOW!!!” In the gaps we talk about what a dumbass 45 is, and how much we hate him, and how much we can’t get over that people still support him, and we speculate about what’s wrong with those people.
    It’s surprisingly therapeutic, and means I don’t have to spend money at the physc dr.

    • Jennifer R

      Yeah, me and friends do that now and again too.

    • The Librarian

      Yep.

    • Walter Wellstone

      Get a room, you two.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Mrs Pixelz and I un-ironically start many conversations with “did they impeach him yet?”.

      • puredog

        “Wake me up when they impeach him.”

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      I need a venting friend like that. My husband doesn’t ever want to talk about it, because he gets too depressed. But for me, vocalizing totally helps. That, and commenting on Wonkette, which is not allowed.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      “Good morning.” “Good morning.” “What did dumbass do last night?”

    • puredog

      Hey — physx dr.s have to live too, y’know.

  • WeaselPoo

    On NPR this am some Texas woman noted that all the homes surrounding her intact domicile had been destroyed, and thus GOD had protected her and her possessions.

    Of course the reporter didn’t follow up with “so all your neighbors were satanists who deserved GOD’s justice?

    These fucking people….!

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      There’s always one in every disaster.

      • Jennifer R

        People will use any random event as proof of their superiority.

      • WeaselPoo

        Always a lot more than just one….and no reporter or anchor or news guest ever calls them out.

      • Suttree

        “one”?

      • Jennaratrix

        Usually a lot more than one. It makes me stabby.

    • janecita

      It’s Texas honey, what did you expect?

      • WeaselPoo

        It’ s America really. I live in Jersey City NJ which i gather has more christian churches per sq. mile than any other US city, about 140 languages spoken, and yet I hear the same kind of sentiments every day.

        • Panika MCD

          thanks for that. Houston has about 400 languages spoken.

          • Suttree

            It’s not a contest. WeaselPoo didn’t mean anything by it. He is a good guy.

          • Suttree

            Or maybe I misunderstood. Sorry!

        • janecita

          Try rural NJ (Lebanon Twp) where I live. This is Trump’s country.

          • Suttree

            Next time you are near exit 148 on the GSP we should get a drink.

          • janecita

            Sounds good!

          • Suttree

            Yay! I haven’t been up to much lately since Lizzie moved. :((((((

        • btwbfdimho
          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Does the word “three” imply something that I don’t get, or is it a typo?
            — I.B. Confused

    • Panika MCD

      where?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      If I were her neighbor I might be tempted to put up a statue of satan in my yard after my house was rebuilt.

    • Granny Sprinkles

      So a couple years ago a mudslide near Grandpa’s office took out a few houses, cars, and outbuildings but stopped short of a small church, leading the congregation to claim a miraculous intervention as a sign of God’s favor. You know what happened next.

      They still haven’t issued a follow-up statement of “oopsie nvm!”.

    • Sophia

      That would have been EPIC

    • Ilgattomorte

      I know. I will always thank God for saving me from drowning by sending that dead crippled nun, holding a litter of cute puppies, to use as a floatation device.

      God is really thoughtful that way.

    • Wes Grogan

      I’m thinking all those Satanist neighbors should get together and take care of what God didn’t. :)

  • Walter Wellstone

    I’m sure little Matt Rhodes gets laid a lot, right?

    • SeeTrain65

      One punch and he’s down.

      Oh, I’m sorry … I misunderstood completely.

  • Jennifer R
  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef
  • janecita

    Gorka is back at Breibart, he is comparing himself, and Bannon, to Obi Wan Kenobi.

    http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/sacked-aide-compares-donald-trumps-11064353

    • ManchuCandidate

      Uh… ok.
      I didn’t realize that Obi Wan was a Nazi. I pictured Gorka more as Preznit Skroob.

      http://akns-images.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/201516/rs_500x280-150206145724-skroob.gif

    • Lord Jim

      I was thinking more Jar-Jar Binks, but whatevs…

      • janecita

        They are Ewoks, angry, paranoid, and aggressive.

    • The Librarian

      Lol, as if!

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Sand people, obviously.

      • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude

        They troll in single file to hide their numbers.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          From the same IP address.

    • doktorzoom

      I’m thinking Breitbart is more like the Cantina scene, but without the awesome band.

      • SeeTrain65

        “You’ll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.”

        They take that as a compliment.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    BTW, this is the photo of the highway people were talking about:
    https://twitter.com/Joeycules/status/901808200567197696/photo/1

    • Suttree

      Holy fuck! That looks like New Orleans!

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        there’s a clearer photo out there, but I can’t find it.

        • Suttree

          I am not even going to pull up a similar photo from Katrina. This kind of stuff makes me too sad. I really hope the people of Texas are ok and that there aren’t too many fatalities. Fuck I’m choking up

          • puredog

            With all due respect to the good Texans, couldn’t happen to a nicer state.

          • Suttree

            I can’t upvote that but I understand the sentiment. I went through so many storms in New Orleans. The storm doesn’t pick and choose. It’s everyone together.

          • Houston went for HRC by some 140,000 votes, FYI. It’s not like the more rural parts of the state.

      • Panika MCD

        they are both built on swamps…

        • Zyxomma

          When I lived in Houston, I was a draftsman (draftswoman? draftsperson?) and a roommate was a dropout from architecture school. We renamed Houston La Cienaga (the swamp), and produced a map renaming all the neighborhoods.

    • Teecha

      That’s *quite* a lot of water.

      10 years ago this summer my home county was flooded. We had no running water for a couple of weeks after the water treatment station was flooded. We had to have bowsers on the streets.

      Will that happen there for you?

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i’m quite far from the rain – but others among us are in the path and a few people have family/friends in Houston.

        • Teecha

          Are your* amenities at risk?

          *people who are suffering more water than you.

          Stay dry!

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            yeah, it’s probably pretty nice out – looks partly cloudy at most.

          • puredog

            (makes note to buy new wiper blades)

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Oh. my. word.

    • The Librarian

      :(

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      So, where are those refineries, again?…

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        On low ground, near the coast.

      • Phried Ω

        East of downtown. Google San Jacinto.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      oy vey

  • TJ Barke

    Anybody know what works best for cleaning computer monitors?

    • Lord Jim

      I always sprayed Windex on a lint-free cloth and used that.

    • The Librarian

      Eyeglass cleaner works well.

    • WeaselPoo

      Isopropyl Alcohol

    • Suttree

      A five story toss?

    • WeaselPoo

      A very small guy with a tiny squeegee.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      http://www.endustforelectronics.com/

      Been using this on all the gear for years.

    • Phried Ω

      It depends on what the surface is made of. If it’s glass with an ant-glare coating avoid isopropyl alcohol.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      TNT?

      Or, if you display too many Trump pics, DDT works also too.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I use Windex diluted about 5:1 in distilled water and a microfiber cloth. Apply the solution to the cloth, not directly to the screen. That keeps the solution from going places where you don’t want it to go. Also, use as little as possible that still works.

    • SisterArtemis

      I’m late to the game but: on glass, a mild cleaner like diluted Dawn dishwashing liquid, use to lightly wet a non-scratchy cloth. But I no longer have any glass-surface monitors, and was told to use a slightly damp cotton cloth or better-quality paper towel, no cleaning solution whatsoever (which supposedly can damage the plastics, or create cloudy areas on the surface). Plain water has worked fine for me, and that reminds me, I probably should take care of that right now.

      • Canned Covfefe

        Oh dear. First read of last sentence was “blah blah blah, I probably should have some of that cake now.”

        • SisterArtemis

          Excellent idea! *runs off to kitchen*

    • Three Finger Salute

      I usually just run a bathroom facecloth or cotton dust rag under the sink and use plain water. Make sure to rub in circles otherwise there could be streaks.

    • Zyxomma

      This is what I use on my MacBookPro, iPhone, and TV sets: https://www.klearscreen.com/pages/frequently-asked-questions

    • SeeTrain65

      I use the same thing I use on my reading glasses … lens cleaner and a microfiber cloth. Sometimes and old, clean cotton sock.

  • tomamitai

    You can probably find out more on this topic by watching “AZCardsFan85’s” favorite indy film, Trannyspotting, though you may have difficulty with the thick Edinburgh accents.

    They were kind enough to provide subtitles, too bad derps don’t.

    Hahaha, throwing people out of helicopters is a hilarious joke, and the best way to help America become what the Founders wanted it to be: a 1970s rightwing dictatorship.

    Didn’t one of Chile’s bishops during the Pinochet years later tearfully admit that he told the regime that that was acceptable as a “Christian method of execution”?

    • gallbladder

      While I cannot seem to find any article about any one bishop, I did manage to locate an article that points to corroboration on the part of the Catholic church when it came to death flights: http://www.nytimes.com/1995/03/13/world/argentine-tells-of-dumping-dirty-war-captives-into-sea.html?pagewanted=all

      It is a disquieting read to say the least.

      • tomamitai

        I remember reading the phrase “a Christian form of death” or “a Christian form of execution”, and I remember it being said by or attributed to a priest or bishop who publicly confessed to his complicity and was rebuked by higher-ups in the church, not for having done it, but for revealing it and opening old wounds. It was a long time ago, in a print-on-paper news magazine, I can’t recall which one. Thanks for finding the one in the Times.

  • Jennifer R

    Good interview with spray paint flamethrower wielding hero from the Charlottesville rally
    http://www.theroot.com/interview-how-corey-long-fought-white-supremacy-with-f-1797831277

    • Sophia

      Governor said today that they are looking for this guy as well.

      • Jennifer R

        Well his actions in VA are legal as self defence or defence of another so bully for them.

        • Sophia

          I agree. Not like he could depend on the local law enforcement. Cops were standing right there and did shit about the guy with the gun.

    • The Librarian

      Thanks for this, context is everything.

  • eyelashviper

    Was just reading about charities for donations to Harvey victims, and Newsweek actually recommended the Red Cross….Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
    They are terrible, use most of donations for admin costs, and are very bad at getting help out immediately.
    This group has the highest ratings for disaster relief, both domestic and international, so if you can afford to help, would recommend them:
    https://www.directrelief.org/?gclid=CP-d3JH399UCFYo7gQod53UNKA
    Also too, pets and animals will be abandoned, possibly hurt and will need care, so the Humane Society is always quick to respond…

    • Panika MCD

      try Austin Pets Alive!, San Antonio Pets Alive!, Austin Animal Center, the Dallas SPCA and the McKinney SPCA for animal donations–all are taking evacuated animals and have Amazon wish lists on their pages. there are two centers in my area that they are evacuating farm animals to, but I don’t know how to donate to them. right now, as much as you may hate it, Red Cross is running the shelters. I will have a long list of local orgs that will be doing clean up in the future if you don’t want to donate to them. check the Texas Tribune, Dallas Morning News and Houston Chronicle–they’ll have orgs posted faster than I will.

      • eyelashviper

        thanks, good information..

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i volunteered wiht them – but never did a response.

      They are big and have lots of volunteers. They’re needed.

      They do some good work (Sandy notwithstanding)

      • Canned Covfefe

        Sandy was fucked all around.

    • Jennaratrix

      I’ve done this so many times before, so I’m not going to go into my whole spiel. The ACR is not “terrible,” more than 90% (that’s 90 cents out of every dollar) goes DIRECTLY to recipients, less than 5% of donations are used for administrative fees. The vast majority of the work of the Red Cross is done by volunteers, and there are already people mobilized to help in Texas. You don’t have to believe me; Charity Navigator (a non-profit, BTW) has all the info you need to make an informed decision about where to donate.

      As for animals – no, the Red Cross does not specifically help with animals and often have difficulty sheltering animals because the priority is people; but the ACR works with local groups to assist people with pets. This is an area they’ve been working on more recently, because volunteers found that people would refuse to leave their burned out homes or go to shelters if they couldn’t bring their animals (for good reason).

      I take this really personally; I’ve been a Red Cross volunteer for more than six years (ever since the tornado in Joplin, MO), and if I thought for one second that it was a scam organization, profligate with their funding, or “terrible” I’d never donate my time. The ACR has had its fair share of problems, but I can tell you from personal experience that those problems continue to be addressed and FIXED, and that the organization is constantly looking for ways to better respond to disasters, to be more efficient, and to be good stewards of the donors’ money. The ACR is one of the only large, nation-wide, non-profit disaster relief organizations equipped to respond to disasters, and like any large organization run almost entirely by volunteers, it can be bulky, run through with red tape, and hard to manage. But every single person who either works or volunteers there is committed to the mission. Comments like this make that job harder.

      You want to help make the Red Cross better? Volunteer at your local chapter. And realize that we don’t just respond to hurricanes; Red Cross volunteers respond 365 days a year to local emergencies, and our biggest response is to house fires. When people have a house fire, often people with little money, no insurance, and few possessions, the Red Cross is there, IN LESS THAN AN HOUR, to get them some food, shelter, and other necessities until they can get back on their feet. NO other organization in the country meets this need. Not the government, not the local fire department, not the local community (with the exception of some churches, but only for their own parishioners). The Red Cross is filling a dire need, and no one else does it. And they do it better than most people realize.

      As I said, you don’t have to believe me; the link to Charity Navigator’s review of the Red Cross is below.

      And it looks like I went into my spiel after all; well, this is something that’s very important to me.

      https://www.charitynavigator.org/index.cfm?bay=search.summary&orgid=3277

      • Panika MCD

        I’m on top of the animal stuff. Thanks for your well worded defense of ARC.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Being a massive Amazon user (sue me), I go through the Amazon American Red Cross portal. It reduced my Amazon guilt somewhat.

        • Jennaratrix

          Oh girrrll (or boyyyy), I feel you. Amazon is my jam. My guilty, guilty jam.

      • eyelashviper

        Glad that your experience is positive, and I know that basic drives in my area are generally well run. However, there has always been strong criticism of the RC in relation to disaster, with Katrina and Sandy being within recent memory. I was involved with relief work after Andrew, and the RC was slow, disorganized, and did not work effectively.
        Having not a lot to contribute to such situations, I always carefully look at any organizations before giving funds, and the one I listed is excellent.
        The Humane Society also is pretty quick to respond to such large disasters.

        • Jennaratrix

          If a local organization is run well and you feel better about giving them your money, by all means do so; but the blanket “terrible” criticism of the Red Cross is unwarranted. You should also be aware that the problems during the responses to Katrina and Sandy were a lot of the impetus behind major changes in the organization over the past 5-15 years. Also too, a lot of the problems you mention – disorganization, lateness in arriving – were due not to the ARC but to the general chaos of the situation; FEMA trying to organize and manage multiple relief efforts while trying to keep everyone safe (in many cases by refusing to allow relief workers in).

          There are ALWAYS valid criticisms to be made; but let’s keep it constructive. The Red Cross does absolutely vital work and that shouldn’t be dismissed so cavalierly with an “Oh, they’re TERRIBLE” comment devoid of substance.

          • Canned Covfefe

            Thanks for this. I think it’s hard for folks to realize just how complicated it can be for the best of organizations to respond to a crisis no matter how well prepared. There are SO many variables from disaster to disaster down and from to from one neighborhood to the next, even one street to the next. Facilities have their own plans and emergency responders have their own triages. Just a few of the big things that need to be addressed. They may not know where they’ll be able to set up trucks with supplies and so on. Things keep changing.
            I have to be reminded as well.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        thank you and nicely done.

        IIRC from my training, they do in fact partner with local groups to do stuff they can’t do or don’t for some reason.

        Like the pet thing. Also Southern Baptists do a lot of cooking for them if I recall.

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          That is the one thing that the Southern Baptists do well.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Thanks for the link. I sent them a donation.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    FUCK! I just this second remembered my baby cuz is in college in houston.

    FUCK FUCK FUCK

    • suziq

      College students were probably smart enough to evacuate to a safe location!

      • MasRioBravoHombre

        LOLOLOLOL! College students? I’m betting they’re all shitfaced, and immobilized.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          So long as they are all shitfaced and immobilized in a safe place.

          • puredog

            Boning, one hopes. I mean, what is college for?

        • The Librarian

          Like there’s something wrong with that? :)

        • Eileen Besse

          Hahahahahah, I would’ve been….

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            I was. Snow storm hit Atlanta in 1982 in the middle of the day. I was spending the day with my mom and she expected me to go home with her. No way. I got on the bus, then the train, then walked back to my dorm. That storm was glorious. The parties were memorable.
            And as I am in the room, I turn on the teevee and I shit you not, my dad is at the grocery store! And as I had predicted, he had toilet paper, cases of Coke, white bread, bologna, Miracle Whip and canned chili in the shopping cart. My younger brothers were miserable, with intense cabin fever. The next year, I took possession of my GGM’s house and never lived at home ever again.

          • Les Appentis De la résistance

            No clams?

          • Eileen Besse

            Yay, YOU!!!!

        • Canned Covfefe

          And planning on seeing if it gets deep enough to go swimming.

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            Don’t swim in that water. Sewage and snakes, man. Hell, we have to be on alert for snakes in the park, water moccasins in the creek. Scary.

      • doktorzoom

        They know all about having a safety school in mind.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      whew – the cuz, a high school buddy, and a former coworker marked themselves “safe” on facebook.

      • Panika MCD

        a lot of people did that before it was a good idea. call them.

  • Jack Had A Permit

    Had to play “Stuart” while reading this. Did anyone here even stop to think that maybe, juuust maybe, AZCardsFan85 just wanted a damned burrow owl for Christmas? He can’t help it that he’s looking up in the trees for it. Jumpin’ Jesus Christ on a pogo stick! ;)

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest that Matt Rhodes Âû is a balding, overweight, pasty, single or divorced white guy who lives in a trailer park, and who committed acts of violence in the military only in his dreams?

    I hate to insult people to live in mobile home parks, but it adds to my word picture. I apologize to all you nice folks who live in mobile home parks, including several friends of mine.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      This balding, overweight, pasty divorced (proud) white (not so much) guy agrees with you 1000%!

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I was rude to say that. I apologize. I should have added “present company excepted.”

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          I was not insulted in the least. No apology required. No problemo!

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I am glad that you are not insulted. I work hard not to perpetuate stereotypes, but sometimes they creep in, have you noticed that? We’re not born with them. My mother used to tell the story of the first time I saw an African American person. It was 1958 and we were shopping at Woolworth’s, and the man was ahead of us in line. I was a little over 2 years old, and I stared at him for a long time and then turned to my mother and said in my piping little child’s voice “Why is that man’s skin dirty?” Everyone looked at us, including the man. My mother said “His skin isn’t dirty, that’s it’s natural color.” I said “Oh!” and I processed this new information, smiled at him, he smiled back, and I didn’t think another thing about it. When you are 2 years old you are encountering new information all day, every day, and you will accept whatever you are told by adults.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Yup. I grew up in a family that routinely called black people “n*rs”, and had racial slurs for everybody who was not white like them, or were Catholic, or drove cars they didn’t like, etc. & etc. Last I heard, they all still did.

            I don’t associate with my family anymore.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I was lucky, my parents were color-blind, and they were hermits, so we rarely associated with any of our relatives, which was not a bad thing in many cases. My grandpa hated the Democrats, and he hated the Cardinals baseball team, and he hated “ferriners”, but as he was a functionally illiterate Ozark hillbilly who died when I was 9 and I only saw him for a few days, twice a year, I paid very little attention to him. He thought “coloreds” played better music than white people, which is something. He never actually met any black people in 76 years, as they weren’t allowed to live in his county, and he never left it.

    • The Librarian

      My grandma did, too, a very nice one, but I get the picture!

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I’m glad. I don’t want to be a hypocrite, because I lived in a brand-new double-wide Clayton home for 2 years, so I know how nice they can be. It had an 8′ deep cedar deck across the entire front and side of the house, was well insulated, sitting on 3 acres, with a burbling brook nearby. It was a lovely, spacious, comfortable home, and extremely affordable. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0f067743a482d700bddca64e8b307ff6a6dcf631a6b391bd32444a8f79497151.jpg

        • The Librarian

          Nice!!!!!

        • SisterArtemis

          I toured the Palm Harbor factory models about an hour north of me one hot summer day. I have always rented older, somewhat dowdy places, often with black mold and other mildewy cousins hiding in the walls. Touring those homes, which were rather nice, I began to crave a place where no mold and mildew had taken root, where every faucet works and nothing drips, where no windows are painted shut, and no previous renters lousy repairs/paintjobs/decorating decisions annoy me on a daily basis. *sigh*

          Trailer parks, even the very nice ones, have no appeal for me because evereyone is so jammed in together. But a nice manufactered house set on an acre or three… that definitely has appeal.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I got the 3 acres for $18,500 in a foreclosure auction, and it came with a newer well and septic system and oversized detached 4-car garage and a pond. The 1600 sq ft 3-bed 2-bath Clayton home cost $55,000, including setup. The privacy was priceless. I think if you shop around you can find deals like this, although it does require patience and some cash on hand for auction purchases.

    • Mavenmaven

      He totally did kill all those people, in a video game.

      • Three Finger Salute

        No, he killed duck-turtles in Paper Mario.

  • Jennaratrix

    People like this are the reason I don’t ever read the comments anywhere but here (where of course they aren’t allowed). People scare me.

  • The Librarian

    What a fine collection of noxious derp, Dok! I think I’ll round it up and put it in a pail and use it to kill all the weeds in my garden. 💀

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I would worry that instead of killing the weeds, that noxious derp would turn the weeds into roving man-eating zombie killer weeds.

    • Suttree

      It’s so full of shit that it might make those weeds grow bigger.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    See, kids! When you lie all the time, it’s hard to keep your lies straight!…

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Thanks Dok.

    Just a quick note. We are high and dry in SW Houston. Our old neighborhood (Meyerland) is flooding, and our CBS Affiliate went off the air when the studio flooded.
    This is a bad one. We got 3 inches of rain at a nearby weather station between 3am and 4am today.
    After you have send Wonkette some $, please send some $ to the Red Cross.

    • Panika MCD

      do you have a safe route out or is your area having to shelter in place?

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        We chose to shelter in place. I have only evacuated twice in my life (Andrew in 1992, Katrina in 2005). We were about 120 miles NE of landfall in Rockport/ Corpus Christi.
        No bad highwinds here, just high water.
        Mrs. Whodat and I grew up in Louisiana, and had out “bug out bags” ready as well as our hurricane supplies. We even loaded up on extra cat litter and cat food.

        • eyelashviper

          Wow, both Andrew and Katrina, and now Harvey…you are a pro.
          Living in Floriduh forever, we are always prepared, and have our eyes on the weather map from June to November.
          Last year we got hit by TS Hermine as it blew by north of us, and lost power and phone for too many days, so a really big storm would put much of this state into serious crisis.

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            Of course you are prepared during Hurricane season. It is what South Coasters do. Andrew was so big it made landfall north of Miami as a Cat 5 and leveled Homestead. Ripped across Florida, recharged and hit South Louisiana. That storm was scary.

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          My BF, who grew up in Hattiesburg, taught me the importance of the “go-bag”. I can be ready to go in 10 minutes now.

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            My niece moved to Anaheim to teach 1st grade a few years ago and her mentor told her about earthquake. She went on to tell Bon Bon to have an evacuation kit. Bon Bon asked her “is that like a Hurricane ‘go bag?’ I have one on my trunk.”

    • eyelashviper

      The news shows waters rising over many areas in Houston, hope you stay high and dry, and keep power, etc..

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        Thank you.
        So far so good. We downsized a few months ago when I retired from the University. We are in a 3rd floor apartment in a retirement community. Sold the 2900 sqr ft house on the golf course.
        We haven’t lost power. The problem since yesterday is rain, and spinoff tornados. At least Katrina moved through quickly. The storm is stalled. The Mayor is asking people to stay put. The Houston metroplex is over 6 million people, and the roads are already flooded.

    • eyelashviper

      This charity is already at work, and they have the best rating, by many groups that review charities…

      https://www.directrelief.org/?gclid=CP-d3JH399UCFYo7gQod53UNKA

      • Sophia

        Thanks I should have scrolled down

    • Sophia

      Ant suggestions on case we would prefer something local?

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        Houston is damaged pretty badly, and the feeder bands will be dropping rain until at least Tuesday. I say that to say that our local charities are hobbled. Give to the American Red Cross. Or of course the charity of you course.

      • Manders

        Parker Molloy’s Twitter feed has a list of charities; I believe GoFundMe has also aggregated a bunch of donation options.

    • Suttree

      Glad to hear that you are safe Riley!

  • Panika MCD

    you know what really sucks? given the area Alex Jones’ house/studio is in, it won’t be wiped off the map.

  • Master Contrail Program

    If you have a problem, if no one can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire The Au^-Team.

    • Suttree

      I am amazed that this isn’t a Glen Beck goldbug commercial! Copyright this quickly!

      • Master Contrail Program

        “Say, wasn’t there a black guy in this crew?”

        “Ummm…….the ‘hates flying’ thing got old.”

        “Yeah, that’s it.”

        • amrak63

          I PITY THE FOOLS WHO THREW ME OFF THE TEAM!

  • JD Mulvey

    “mayonnaise disaster”?

    • LastNewDealer?

      I’ve had a few of those…mostly when I can’t get it to emulsify…or when the cats decide to help

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Miracle Whip Maelstrom?

      • JD Mulvey

        Anything that uses Miracle Whip is, per se, a disaster.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          I could never figure out what it was about Miracle Whip such that there are so many admirers of it. Even before I swore-off mayo as “manna from Hell”, I thought M.W. was too fucking sweet. I don’t like stuff that makes my sandwiches taste like a dessert. I guess it’s the sweet that makes it popular.

          Also, a large portion of the people I know who love M.W. are even fatter than I am. I wonder if there is a correlation.

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            My dad insists on calling Miracle Whip mayonaise. And then he gets pissed when you serve him the real thing.

        • H0mer0

          nah mang! How could anything with such a cute commercial be yucky?

          https://youtu.be/H7PR9iAuP44

  • Wee Mousie

    So, Serious Thoughts is our official new Zombie-Eyed Tranny-Spotter. I do have a few serious thoughts about the quality of his thought process, not to mention what he uses in substitute for his thought processor’s fodder.

  • JMP

    I just got a troll – with the incredibly ironic handle of “the truth” – respond to me on a two month old post! Why do these idiots do that?

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Boredom?

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Takes that long to read 40 comments?

    • Master Contrail Program

      It’s gotten well past the point where I ignore any post with Truth, Liberty, or Patriot in the handle. Eagles or flags in the av provoke the same reaction.

      • JMP

        It’s a sign of an ironic handle most of the time. Why have the words “Liberty” and “Patriot” been appropriated by anti-American authoritarian creeps?

        • Phried Ω

          I don’t know, freedom, maybe?

          • sarafina

            more like assholeishness.

        • SisterArtemis

          They always grab that last, un-smashed perfect piece of pie, too.

        • Grokenstein

          “This will bamboozle ALL these stoopit lidtarbs!”

        • Zyxomma

          Because Reagan.

      • Suttree

        What about Turgid Love Muscle?

        • CindyinEncinitas

          I miss him when he stays away like this.

          • Suttree

            Don’t worry, he will be back. Although it has been a while. I want to place bets on jail sentence or auto-erotic asphyxiation broken wrists from fapping too hard to Justin Trudeau.

          • doktorzoom

            Nah, he was here a couple days ago. You missed nothing except the usual bullshit.

          • Suttree

            So dok I would like to ask you a question. Was my defense of the troll today proper or did I go a bit too defensive. with that euwe.https://disqus.com/by/euwemax/ and that other asshole that you almost banned the other day?

          • Suttree

            Ah right, I found it. Wold Tracker

      • H0mer0

        but “Libety or Tranny” (in snark context, not as a derogatory term)are still good?

    • Panika MCD

      he’s been around.

    • Mavenmaven

      A few days ago I got one on a two year old post.

      • Suttree

        I just got one from a one hit wonder from yesterday. Space Tacos dealt with it for me. My patience is dry and I’m not drunk yet.

        • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

          logic is my sword!
          the dictionary is my crossbow!

          Or something.
          ; )

          • Suttree

            I want that on a t-shirt!

    • Grokenstein

      Recently had someone who I was on neutral-to-favorable terms with suddenly light into me (and other regulars) in a year-old comment thread on a comic-strip site.

      Turns out that when you use a Google link, the site sometimes vaults you back to last year’s strip. This guy either didn’t realize or didn’t want to face his mistake, so he just kept doubling down on his “outrage.”

  • a_pink_poodle

    I think AZCardsFan85 is self conscious about his dainty hands

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    We’re Live at the Berkeley Protests
    Alt-right demonstrations and counterdemonstrations were slated to go down in Berkeley Sunday.

    Mother Jones live at the Berkeley protests …

    • The Librarian

      I told Spawn2 to stay away. This is a brawl in waiting, not a real “sad white, poor racist me” rally.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Yeah … the Berkeley folks folks tend to get up in people’s faces …

        • The Librarian

          Mostly antifa.

        • Grokenstein

          Favorite bit: Jordan Davis, 25, was one of the first in the park. He walked around wearing a blue Trump flag draped around his shoulders. The Bay Area native, who declined to say which city he’s from, said he wasn’t expecting violence but that it was a “risk you have to be willing to take to attend these rallies.”

          “What’s more important is to dispel the myth that it’s all KKK here,” he said. “Obviously I am not a Klansman. They’re trying to lump Trump supporters in with a group that is pretty much nonexistent. We are hopeful for an open, obvious dialogue.”

          Davis posed for a few photos with various news crews, who outnumbered the rally goers. At one point, he looked around to make sure no one was watching and ripped down a “Bay Area Stands Against Hate” sign. He hung a “Blue Lives Matter” flag with the poster’s used tape, then ripped the anti-hatred sign into pieces, flinging it into confetti on the ground.

          You can see this brave, brave culture wharrrrrrrior being confronted in the video halfway down this article. The pasty little shit’s too terrified to make eye contact.

  • Panika MCD

    Ben Taub, Houston’s main safety net hospital, is being evacuated due to power outages.

    • AJ Milne

      I know also kinda OT, and by no means wish to impose upon people actually trying not to die, or to help others not to, by requesting they take time away from paddling to post non-comments…

      But I would kinda be grateful to hear from or of known TX-based Wonkers in general to know they’re on or have made it to high ground.

      • Panika MCD

        all Austin wanks (me, Walter, JohnATX and SadDem) are accounted for, Riley checked in below (SW Houston) and TX Dept is in an unaffected area.

        • Suttree

          Thanks Panika!

        • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

          unaffected area!
          it’s a gorgeous day here, i feel guilty.

          • Panika MCD

            fuck you. send us $$$.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            i haz a broke.
            but sending best wishes and stuff.

          • theCryptofishist

            But not thoughts and prayers.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Thanks!

        • puredog

          Well, at least SOME of the people there are unaffected.

          • Panika MCD

            TX Dept. is in a completely unaffected area.

          • theCryptofishist

            A product of the hugeness of the place. If Texas were Rhode Island, everyone would be affected.

          • Panika MCD

            as would pretty much all of New England.

        • Werewolf

          Austin Wonker Werewolf too, also.

          • Panika MCD

            thanks for checking in. maybe we should have a wee Hurricane Wonk party.

          • Werewolf

            Sounds like a plan!

      • sarafina

        I’m in DFW, but it’s been raining most of the morning.

      • Canned Covfefe

        Thanks for asking.

      • Werewolf

        On high ground in the People’s Republic of Austin.

    • eyelashviper

      Sheesh, the flooding must be really bad to take out their back up generators. The same thing happened in NO after Katrina.

      • sarafina

        I think Houston owes a HUGE debt of gratitude to NO/Katrina to point out possible fuckups, many of which have been averted. Of course, building on swamps by large bodies of water or ground below sea level is not the smartest thing anyone has ever done.

        • eyelashviper

          Or we could actually build infrastructure to deal with the potential problems. All of the Netherlands is below sea level, but they figured out what to do and did it. It cost money, but was cheap in the long run. The huge sea gates out beyond the harbor is an engineering masterpiece, and yet anyone proposing such works would be driven out of town as “big spenders”, big over reaching guvmint, etc..

          • mailman27

            We don’t do masterpieces.

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    OT: Texas Chain Saw Massacre director has died. Coincidence? I think not…..(poof)

    • Panika MCD

      Texas Chainsaw Massacre’s setting is in far west TX. so it is a coincidence. but Margaret Moser died and that sucks.

      • sarafina

        Until the Big One where California falls into the sea and takes Arizona and New Mexico with it there’s very little chance of flooding in west Texas.

        • Panika MCD

          given that the storm is just kind of sitting on top of us, there’s pretty much bo chance, but they still should follow best practices around arroyos.

  • Panika MCD

    Houston has 5 HPD and 1 FBI SWAT vehicles, 5 HFD fire trucks and, i shit you not, 5 trash trucks doing evacuations in 3 neighborhoods.

    • eyelashviper

      At this point they need boats. It just gets worse by the hour.

      • Panika MCD

        USCG has them and they’re recruiting private boat owners for evac in areas that need boats to get to them. the 3 neighborhoods they’re using the vehicles in are in danger of getting cut off.

        • sarafina

          3000 National Guard members have been activated, just heard it on a special report on NPR.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Trash trucks make sort of sense. Relatively high off the ground and heavy enough not to be swept away.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Trash trucks? They better be alert because that’s how Soylent Green happens.
      I’ll see myself out.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Rex Tillerson Wants Nothing To Do With Trump; Throws Him Under The Bus

    On Sunday’s segment of Fox News, Trump’s Secretary of State, Rex Tillerson was asked about Trump’s values after the UN criticized his response to racist demonstrations in the US. Tillerson refused to defend the racist-in-chief and said, “The President speaks for himself.”

    • The Librarian

      Hmmmm, but Exxon still speaks for Rexxon, so no pass given?

    • amrak63

      Perhaps some of the shrewder rats are preparing to abandon ship?

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Perhaps some of the shrewder rats realize that Donnie Dumbass is going to cost them lots of personal wealth. When that happens, Donnie Two Scoops will be thumbing a ride back to Queens.

      • Canned Covfefe

        If he gets You’re Fired does he get unemployment?

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          Yes, for the rest of his life. I think.

      • Rags

        Cohn was, I think, hanging on to get the Fed Reserve Chair, but his last remarks probably killed that option. I suspect he goes next friday, followed by Tillerson (and then, hopefully, everybody else, including 4-5).

    • sarafina

      While Tillerson is still a Republican, he’s smart enough to throw the orange shitgibbon under the bus.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Tillerson is set: he has fuck you money, and doesn’t need Donnie’s bullshit or money or friends. Tillerson can buy Donnie’s whole fucking world with the change in his office couch.

    • Canned Covfefe

      Whoa!

    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      Large corporations aren’t really pro-KKK these days.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      I watched that interview and I think REXXON is done.

      • SeeTrain65

        Good. Maybe now Rex can get some sleep. ; )

  • LastNewDealer?

    I say it’s scream shitting spinach, and I don’t like it!

  • Panika MCD

    National Guard has been dispatched…you would have thought they’d have gotten to that earlier…

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      That’s good. But the governor orders the National Guard, correct? I’d like to say he’s human, but I hesitate …

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        A Dalek, actually.

        • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude

          He uses a wheelchair, so Davros?

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Bingo!

          • Tokays_don’t_blink

            When this Tokay was just a hatchling, Davros was super-scary.

        • Panika MCD

          he’s more Borg. he’s pretty wishy washy as to which side he’s going to be on any given day.

      • Panika MCD

        yes. he did declare 30 counties disaster areas on Friday and now we’re over 50 counties declared. I guess they were responding to the cities that got wiped off the map on Friday night/Saturday morning. but that’s just the TX Natl. Guard. POTUS has to give the order to send them from out of state and given that NYC is lending us their Task Force 1, I’d be guessing this notice is that we’re finally getting more guard resources.

        • Les Appentis De la résistance

          Fuck you #rememberSandy
          — every New Yorker.

          • Panika MCD

            I’m glad NY on general remembers that plenty of donations came in from TX even though both of our senators and a number of our reps voted against the funding. we thank you for sending NYC Task Force 1 this morning.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Good to see that you’re in commentable condition!

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Friends reported in from Houston. All OK, evacuations near by, though. Sent picture:

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c0390647d1adfe23589333ccb506028b22cab017821801c8b1ce598b01ee74c0.jpg

  • Suttree

    /ffs anyone want a troll? Amazing Lucas in the Arpaio thread right below me.

    • Zyxomma

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fd0a731d57648926d0838967a28671eb6df341ba11cf7e5df32e07df1d9e8172.jpg

      I don’t know how to rotate this so I’m upright. This is I, about an hour ago, in front of my friend’s storefront. He made the guitars in the window, and took the photo. My hair is the longest it’s ever been.

      • Suttree

        Holy shit! That is impressive! Is it red or just brownish red in the sun? Also too nice calves. Now leave me alone, I am taken! hehehehe Nice guitar also too.

        • Zyxomma

          No, I’m not a redhead, although my mother was. It’s brunette, but looks like dark copper wire in the sun. I’m completely aware that you’re taken; it’s my own fault I didn’t show up at the Wonkette drinky thingy. Lizzie’s terrific, and I loved the possum photo.

      • Suttree
        • SisterArtemis

          Not sure what Suttree did, but if you’re interested, @Zyxomma:disqus, what I do is open the pic in a photo editor, do some simple edit like cropping it slightly, or brightening, and then save the modified picture. It comes up right-ways then.

          and, btw, great hat!

      • SisterArtemis

        Wow! Is it in a snood of some kind? something about the shape suggests that. My hair is down to the top of my butt for the first time in my life, and it’s definitely a little more to manage; I can only think that yours takes some tender lovin’ care to look that wonderful.

        • Zyxomma

          Thank you. Yes, I keep it in a fine-mesh fishnet stocking with the foot cut off (that’s where you see the “tail”) and much of the elastic trimmed from the top.

    • SeeTrain65

      One and done. And he didn’t even upvote himself! Worthless.

      • Suttree

        Thanks for end understanding. It was a troll.

  • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude

    Are we sure AZCardsFan85 isn’t really Barry Zuckerkorn?
    https://youtu.be/gWDUFVYjc1s

  • Daredevil

    At this point, I am convinced that “globalist” is nothing more than an anti-Semitic dog whistle.

    • TJ Barke

      You are correct, sir!

    • Christopher Story

      I love to troll the Nazis in the youtube livestream feeds about how did the Jews manage to take over everything, if they are the Master Race. I get some very funny replies. Not so much “funny” ha-ha, more “funny” oh-bless- your-heart-you-ignorant-bastard.

      • Daredevil

        They claim whites as superior but somehow whites are also easily manipulated into having babies with people of color and commit genocide on themselves? What?

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          Logic is not their strong suit.

  • Zyxomma

    Thank you, Dok.

  • La forza del resistino

    If California secedes, would Matt be 1st in line to tear down the Pelosi or Jerry Brown statues or would he respect them as symbols of heritage?

  • VirginiaWackelpudding

    Dear Diary, Today I learned that I have man hips. This blows! I opened the package to check, and now I can’t return them for a refund! My experiment is ruined!!

    • La forza del resistino

      oh noes, the only antidote to man hips is lotsa rosehips tea. really hot.

    • Zippy W Pinhead
      • mailman27

        Tower had the Power to get Carlos to shut up in the spaces. Not easy to do.

    • Suttree

      And apparently this “person” thinks that men have wider hips than women. Has he ever looked at a woman? Does he take cover next to middle school girls soccer practice and take his clues from there?

      • theCryptofishist

        You know… if women had wider hips, they could enhouse fetuses, excuse me–unborn children, longer and have them and it would be such an advancement for the race.

        • Suttree

          I’m going to take that up with gawd next time we talk. He sure fucked up making me stare at women’s behinds without hips and butts. And swagger. And ………. I’ll be in my bunk.

      • VirginiaWackelpudding

        He sure as hell didn’t take measurements after childbirth. I swear I added a few!

      • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

        Ugh, don’t give him any ideas.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Canadians have tragic hips…

  • Mavenmaven

    It is amazing, and does make life a little easier, that all these Trumpi-Nazi commentators all sound so similar that they are easy to spot. First Godwin fell, now Poe.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      But when will they take down Walt Whitman?

      • Panika MCD

        that’s what I want to know. he as a massive shithead.

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          damn transcendental realists …

          • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy
          • Panika MCD

            he was American Enlightenment. and he was shithead.

          • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

            And light in his loafers. Pioneering bear.

    • amrak63

      Given how few of them turned out for their Boston (?) rally, maybe the reason so many of them sound so much alike is that they’re actually Putin’s agents and/or his bots?

      The same thing could explain the gap between the robust presence of Bernouts on Da Intertoobz and their anemic performance at the polls.

  • Baconzgood
    • Richard Girlswin

      There’s an episode that hasn’t aged well with social progress.

      • Canned Covfefe

        I’m wondering how well y’all think the whole series has progressed? Real question.

        • Bozilingus

          While I found the show to be funny, I never liked the characters. Watching reruns over the last few weeks has not changed my opinion.

          • you didn’t like *Kramer*?

          • Bozilingus

            Kramer was a hipster doofus.

          • … YOU DIDN’T LIKE *KRAMER*?

          • H0mer0

            now that I’m not married to my ex, I can find it funny. During marriage, the misunderstandings which made for humor in the series were not so funny in real life.

        • Perkniticky

          I think, like with all cultural products, we’ll have to consider it a product of its time.

        • Richard Girlswin

          I never liked it very much, tbh.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Hey! Did you get to the doc? Yeah I’m late. Still…

  • puredog

    Matt Rhodes Âû signifies that, despite his seemingly Aryan name, he is a Vietnamese peasant.

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    Trump has just declared Mar A Largo a disaster area for falling revenues and is going to receive Federal Disaster Relief.

    As for the Texans, “They are big boys and can handle this….good luck”

    • kareemachan

      Well, Cruz and Cornyn were happy to vote against help for NJ, so…..

  • “Matt Rhodes Âû Seems to imply “autistic union”.

  • hudson
    • Suttree

      Jeez! It has gotten so much deeper! That has to be about 17 or 18 feet of water in that low laying spot.

      • hudson

        min vertical clearance on US Interstates is 16 ft, no?

        • Zippy W Pinhead
        • Suttree

          Sign supports and pedestrian overpasses must be at least 17 feet
          (5.2 m) above the road, except on urban routes with lesser clearance,
          where they should be at least 1 foot (30 cm) higher than other objects.

          From Zippy’s link below.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        now consider how wide that fucking thing is – that’s a shit ton of rain.

        • Suttree

          Do they have pumps in Houston like they do in NOLA?

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            i dunno. i would imagine, it’s not hte first time. (I dunno about the numbers regarding the 500 year storm part, but look up galveston in the early 20th century. Flattened as I recall.

          • Suttree

            Galveston was before storm prediction though. Not that their current seawalls will stand.

          • Les Appentis De la résistance

            There were warnings about Galveston but you know those crazy scientists.

          • Panika MCD

            they do, but I don’t think they’re that far inland.

        • BrianW

          One of the meteorologists on TV here estimated that Harris County has taken in 453,000,000,000 gallons of water in the last 24 hours. Yes, billion.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            jeesus.

    • Canned Covfefe

      Is that real?

      • Panika MCD

        it is.

    • SisterArtemis

      A Faceplace friend of mine just posted a side-by-side comparison from the same traffic cam
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4586f1f6eb31675b9ace310063b195b18eeb0e5a471cdda32d9fdb9f5e0d7080.jpg

      • Permit-holder Ron

        Donnie’s gonna tweet that Houstoners should have bought boats instead of cars, isn’t he?

      • SeeTrain65

        Water level looks much like Prospect, Ohio on its better days.

    • H0mer0

      Wonderland Elementary? If I recall being in elementary school >40 years ago, it was no wonderland, nor do those two words belong with each other.

      • mailman27

        Livinghell Elementary?

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Donnie threatens to make disaster worse by visiting “as early as Tuesday”, per CNN.

    • Suse

      Will there be Play-Doh?

      • CindyinEncinitas

        They said there would be Play-Doh.

    • Panika MCD

      FUUUUUCK HIM!

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        gurl, austin’s supposed to get slammed this afternoon. I posted a screen cap of the radar on the estate tax thread.

        • Panika MCD

          I know and I’m boycotting that particular “writer”.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      which he said he wouldn’t do – and on a day when they’ll STILL be getting rain.

    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      deleted comment

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      He should try landing at Hobby Airport today and stop being a wuss.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        I read that as Hobby Lobby Airport.

        • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

          Land AF1 on a Hobby Lobby will work too.

        • SisterArtemis

          Me too. More than once.

          • theCryptofishist

            You can throw me on that pile, also, too.

          • Zyxomma

            I’ve even flown Hobby to Love.

        • Panika MCD

          it was named for Bill Hobby, the 37th Lt. Gov. of TX and a Democrat.

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            ;) I know. I lived in College Station for awhile, eons ago and have taken flights in and out of Hobby.

    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      How many seconds will he spend passing sandbags?

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        Those are too heavy for him.

        • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

          What was the storm, he spent about 30 seconds on camera passing something? I think it was during the campaign.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            49 seconds passing playdoh.

          • Panika MCD

            the storm didn’t have a name. it was what was known as a mesoscale collection. don’t know what that means, but it was terrible for them and he diverted resources which the governor had specifically asked public figures not to do.

      • Suttree

        He will get Paul Ryan to stand there and pretend to pass sandbags that have already been passed.

      • LucindathePook

        Unfortunately, his medical history of bone spurs will prevent him helping in this regard.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Hurryblame Donnie is coming!!!111

    • SeeTrain65

      Have the Play-Doh and blankets ready.

  • Jay Hansen

    When is old horseface Alex Jones NOT lying?

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      When he is asleep in his crypt/cesspit?

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      When his lips aren’t moving?

    • Suttree

      When he is tossing Turnip salad?

    • Jesse

      When he’s licking bbq sauce off his own nipples.

      That sentiment is genuine.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    AtheistRight’s” avatar, depicting a communist being thrown from a helicopter, indicates he’s one of those brave rightwing Americans who thinks our nation would be considerably improved if only it would deal with political opponents like Augusto Pinochet did.

    Pinochet was an amateur. Admiral Luis María Mendía alone had that done to thousands of his fellow citizens during the dirty war in Argentina.

  • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

    TIcket to see dirty Putinist sumbitch who has conducted victory concerts in Ossetia and Syria, and is also one of the greatest living conductors, Valery Gergiev. Also Mariinsky Orchestra, formerly known as the Kirov. Yay.
    https://www.laphil.com/tickets/mariinsky-orchestra/2017-11-01

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    So how long before Trump decides the damages aren’t Harvey’s fault, but the NOAA/NWS/NHC for “not getting it right”, and cuts their budgets?
    Or am I too late…

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Donnie says, “They have a budget?”

      • Permit-holder Ron

        I’m sure he’ll fix THAT this week.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      hey there – you’re another texan right? You doing okay?

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      NOAA was already on the chopping block.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Well, they didn’t stop the floods this time. Should have kept that ark! 🙄

      • kareemachan

        And drumpster still hasn’t appointed a new head for it.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • SisterArtemis

      Do you know what would spark Renee Baio’s tweet at this time – I know some folks think weird nasty things about Sandy Hook, but why this sentiment now, why aimed at this particular mother?

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
        • SisterArtemis

          Thank you. Will go give Nelba an upvote now…

          • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

            or it could be fallout from this more likely

            SCOTT Baio has been slammed for re-tweeting a “truther” meme suggesting the death of Heather Heyer at a Virginia rally was a hoax put on by the same “crisis actors” used in the Sandy Hook school massacre.
            Jillian Soto, the sister of slain Sandy Hook teacher Vicki Soto, blasted the former Happy Days actor for his re-tweet, saying he was “encouraging hateful behaviour”.

            “We are deeply disappointed that someone who has such a large audience would use that audience to target victims families,” Ms Soto wrote on Facebook.

      • Suttree

        Because meth is a hell of a drug? Or she and her husband are broke as shit and trying to get on the wingnut gravy train.

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          Why not both.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Scum sucking motherfucking scum fuckhead shit for brains piece of shit white trash stinking skid marking vermin jacktards.

      And no, this is a mere shadow of how I really feel; a projection of my multi-dimensional disdain for these walking and talking steaming turds onto two dimensional text. I don’t want your faces to melt, dear readers of my non-comments.

    • H0mer0

      I don’t know what Nelba said that would be considered ugly but she’s not, especially in that picture where she holds up a “Love Wins” sign.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        I looked and looked, and all the discussions were about the Arpaio pardon and Alex Jones (who is a Sandy Hook Truther) and Trump’s relation to Alex Jones.

        What I have figured out is that yesterday, Scott Baio tweeted a meme claiming the murder of Heather Heyer was a hoax perpetrated by crisis actors that were also behind the “Sandy Hook hoax” (a la Alex Jones).

        At that point, the parents of Sandy Hook children all expressed disappointment in Scott Baio for attacking the family of victims. At which point, Scott Baio made his account unviewable. And then his wife jumped in and started berating some of the Sandy Hook parents who had expressed their displeasure along with the Twitter mob that arrived when her husband’s tweets went viral prior to him deleting them and shutting down his account temporarily.

        • mailman27

          “Sandy Hook truthers” are the worst of the godforsaken worst.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            they really really are.

        • H0mer0

          another wife who hasn’t learned to let her asshole husband sleep in the bed he shit.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      I’d like to see Ms. Baio in a better place.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        She could go away to live in a farm upstate?

  • Three Finger Salute

    Pinochet was America’s baby. Intended to stop those filthy democratically-elected Allende socialists from distributing the resources for Chile’s own people and taking it back from the grips of the divine right of robber barons in the Shining Turd on a Hill.

    Regime change is the lifeblood of America’s DNA. Whenever some other country does something that we don’t like (usually because it poses a threat to American hegemony and the bottom line), out they go.

    Expect an American inquisition in Uruguay and Canada soon. Operation 4/20.

    • epazote

      Venezuela’s next
      world’s largest “unexploited” petroleum deposits
      corporations want control of, and profit from “free marketing” them. US military will be sent to secure the natural resources, and crush the Bolivarian Movement…USA’s taxpayers will foot the bill for “liberating Venezuela, and bringing democracy”
      Mexico, Colombia, Peru, Argentina and Brasil have already been captured.

      http://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/opinion/2017/07/neoliberalism-latin-america-170711085354385.html?utm_source=Al+Jazeera+English+Newsletter+%7C+Weekly&utm_campaign=a8c5230a57-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2017_07_16&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_e427298a68-a8c5230a57-225311857

      https://theintercept.com/2017/08/09/intercepted-podcast-atlas-golfed/

      • Perkniticky

        Ah, so they’re going back to the pkaybook from 30 years ago? I guess the Middle East didn’t work out so they thought they’d try their old stomping grounds? Of course, local conditions have a big effect on what the Americans think get can get away with. But if you think Mexico and the rest are more ‘captured’ than they were 30 years ago – well yeah, Venezuela should be a dawdle. I’m still not clear why we’re going around stealing petroleum deposits when we have plenty of our own… especially when adding more sources will only reduce the price of our own… but whatever helps you make sense of the world.

        • pstockholm

          Makes little sense as a national strategy these days, if ever. Venezuela already exports its oil to the US, primarily, always has, under any regime. Similarly, pretty much all exported oil joins a fungible international pool – you don’t need to occupy oil countries to get oil. Exporters are as reliant on you importing as you are on them exporting.
          But to benefit a particular oil company or cluster of companies or shareholders in secondary industries … Then things start to make a bit more sense.

          • Perkniticky

            Good point. I still wonder if Tillerson can possibly represent the US, instead of ExxonMobil. He worked there so long, he’s bound to be institutionalized.

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      I saw “Missing” with Jack Lemmon and Sissy Spacek when it came out in 1982. It was quite an eyeopener.

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      Mostly the bottom line. Money talks democracy walks.

  • Ryan Denniston

    “So please, pay attention to Jones’s reliable research and not his
    occasional, daily moments when he goes completely fucking nuts and
    spends eleven minutes on the former First Lady’s peen, and then falls
    off. (I swear, we are about twelve years old).”

    Why yes, happy to. Except one mind produced both strands of thought, and by Occam’s Razor, I thereby render Jones guilty of being a loon, completely unreliable as a researcher.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Dok quoting the Dead Milkmen for the photo caption is all you need to know about why I love Wonkette.

    • puredog

      But are they dead LOCAL milkmen?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        The lead singer of the band gave an interview a few years back about the perils of staking your claim to fame on the relatively short shelf life of humorous topical songs. “Yeah, it was great while it lasted. Now I ride a bus to work.”.

        • Swampgas_Man

          Sounds like there’s a song in that.

    • doktorzoom

      Thank Robyn — I had forgotten that classic until she included it in an Alex Jones piece a couple weeks ago and wondered in the chatcave if the Dead Milkmen had prophesied the Coming of Jones.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      I saw a pic of an elderly couple carrying a banner that read, “First they came for the Muslims and I spoke up! And I will continue to speak up because I AM A JEW WHO REMEMBERS!”

  • Ryan Denniston

    “You can tell men and women hands apart by
    the bone structure and muscle definition, as well as size. Women has
    slender petite hands , even if they have really longer fingers their
    hands are petite and much more slender than a mans. Men have wider,
    bulkier hands with much bigger/wider wrists”

    Also too, when overcompensating, they tend to wear longer than normal ties, just saying.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
  • BMW
  • Panika MCD

    MD Anderson is now taking water.

    • SisterArtemis

      I had to look this up. You’re talking about the cancer center?

      • Panika MCD

        yes.

  • Panika MCD

    file this under “things you don’t know until you know them”:

    HEB has a disaster recovery team and they were dispatched about 6 hrs ago. HEB is the best grocery store chain ever.

    • Tishalicious

      Are you alright, hon? I’m trying to remember when everyone is..

      • Panika MCD

        I’m fine. in Austin and not in a flood prone area. no interruption in power either.

        • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

          Just a foster dog who is a little hyper, right? :P

          • Panika MCD

            yeah. Gollum and I are going to get her some Kong toys in a bit. first going to visit Prima Momma with Callie and Jazzy in tow.

        • Tishalicious

          Thank heavens! Grandma Anxie-tea is in Austin too. I’d heard nothing, so double the up-fists for you ^_^

          • Panika MCD

            check in with her. SE Austin is flooding and NW and NE were without power for a while.

          • Werewolf

            Lost power here in NW Austin for a few hours-fine now.

        • Parchment Scroll

          People keep asking if I’m okay. We’re fine, guys.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Wal-mart allows first responders to take supplies and settles up later. But they still sux.

      • Panika MCD

        and HEB donates all food that is edible, but not marketable; does food drives; helps impoverished areas around their providers; funds Raise Your Hand Texas (a liberal leaning education advocacy group); and has decent prices.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Ryan Denniston

      Ya can’t do that son!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      He seems nuts.

      • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

        Nuts, but nice.

        • Jay Hansen

          Boasting, are ya?

    • phoenix00

      “Good guy with a gun” – NRA

  • Ryan Denniston

    So, any update on which rightwing wing religious cook is blaming which recent political development for this natural disaster? Any odds on the Falwell, with the Trump, in the foyer with the candlestick?

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Pat Robertson FTW!

    • phoenix00

      HillaryObamaSorosBenghaziEmailServerPizzaparlor

      Did I miss anything? What do I win?

    • Perkniticky

      It’s holy retribution for Trump’s pardon of Arpaio? Hey, maybe we should get in on this religious cook scam! Except our constituents don’t buy into those scams. Darn.

    • William_C_Diaz

      It is funny that normally by this point in a natural disaster anywhere else, the immorality that ’caused’ it (made god go all ‘Pulp Fiction’) would have been identified by now and excoriated at length.

      Have a great day!

    • Cat Cafe for the Resignation

      HAHAHA you know it is teh gays and teh messicans. EVERYTHING is teh gays, teh messicans, or teh women. They are utterly filled with shit. (ps I tried to figure out what cooking had to do with it, I think you meant “kook” haha).

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Hmm, bit of a minor kefuffle in Phoenix last night. Phoenix Rising FC’s supporters group, Los Banditos, unfurled a “Stop Racism” banner in their section of the stadium before their match against Sacramento Republic FC.
    Phoenix’s front office told them to take the banner down. Los Banditos said that if the banner comes down, all their banners and tifo come down. The team didn’t budge, so the supporters group packed up all their stuff and left.
    Today, the club issued a half-hearted “apology” claiming it was a “miscommunication” and that the issue wasn’t the message but the fact the banner had a crossed out swastika on it.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      So they objected to a No Nazis symbol?

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Sounds like it.

    • Ryan Denniston

      “and tifo”?

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Tifo – a choreographed display in which fans in a sports stadium raise a
        large banner together or simultaneously hold up signs that together form
        a large image

        • Ryan Denniston

          Ah,, good to know, thought it was a local form of antifa.

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        Tifo? It’s a meat substitute! NO! It’s a floor wax!

        • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

          Silly. It’s both a meat substitute AND a floor wax.

          • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

            “It tastes delicious! And just look at that shine!” One of SNL’s best. Right up there with the Bass-o-matic and Super Colon Blow cereal.

          • SisterArtemis

            I’ve always been a big fan of the Quarry cereal sketch. Tried to find a vid, but no such luck

          • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

            Stays crunchy in milk!!

          • george lastrapes

            Sounds like UBIK.

        • starfanglednut

          Excellent dessert topping as well.

        • Kateaux

          Wash it down with a cold, refreshing SPUD!

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      hmmm – the banditos are a terrible biker gang here.

      • Panika MCD

        I think they are active in most of the SW states.

        • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

          Surprisingly, they’re big in Canada as well. Actually, so are the Hells Angels.

          • handyhippie65

            the angels are global. mebbe not china or NK, but pretty much anywhere else white guys can get a harley, and there’s money to be made.

          • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

            China, maybe not, but I saw in a documentary that they opened up a few chapters in Thailand. It appeared to included actual Thai people. They’re racist as fuck, but I guess they make an exception for asians, like a lot of modern racists. Or maybe it went like that time the (now former) Canadian leader tried to let a black guy in and they were forced to kick them out afterwards.
            Quebec Hell’s Angels are known to be up to no good in the Dominican Republic, too.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Phoenix Rising’s supporters are heavily Latino. Good for them.

    • phoenix00

      So Phoenix Rising is pro-Nazi? GOOD TO KNOW.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Because you can’t just move 6 million people in a day? How about that for a reason?

    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/901900371681058816

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      there were 4-5 days warning.

      Home Depot literally sold out all their generators last week.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        The replies are basically blaming it on the (Democratic) Mayor not doing enough.

        • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

          wut? The projections were for 18-20 inches. Now they are for 50 inches.

          Big difference.

          • hudson

            per my family there, it was 3ft in one day. ya i don’t think you can design any city for this level of deluge. especially flat cities.

          • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

            My family is just to the North. Lot of flooding there, but none in their houses yet. Ike flooded a lot of people, but the drainage system was improved, but nothing prepares anybody for this.

          • TundraGrifter

            Especially flat cities with endless square miles of asphalt and concrete. Seattle is now requiring new buildings to have porous concrete surfaces – too late for Houston. I read a formula a year or so ago – for every new acre of pavement the flood water rise so much.

          • redblack

            50 inches is more rain than seattle averages in a normal year.

          • TundraGrifter

            Agreed. This is an extraordinary event – a 500-year flood. That’s almost Biblical. No doubt about it – a horrible thing to have happened to the good people down there.

            The fact remains planning and building steps weren’t taken that could have mitigated the disaster.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Why not the Meaaicans? Helluva job, brownies!

        • CindyinEncinitas

          I heard him interviewed and he said none of the projections had this much rain hitting Houston and you can’t dump 6M people onto the roads just in case.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      There’s a good article in the NYT about it.

      Though it’s impossible not to fuck up a disaster of this magnitude.

    • BrianW

      Because the last time we tried an evacuation (Rita, 2005) it was a massive clusterfuck that got enough people killed to make the authorities realize it was a massively bad idea.

      • This. No one who went through it before (I did) would go through it again.

        • BrianW

          Ayup. My sister-in-law swears up and down that she will NEVER evacuate again. I grew up near Beaumont, and so am a little more flexible. We live in a suburb only a few miles from part of the Houston Ship Channel. If there was a Cat 4 or 5 coming up that, I would be out. of. here.

  • Mormos

    are you saying we AREN’T a 1970s rightwing dictatorship?

    • altleftjohn

      No, we aren’t. It’s just that about thirtysomethingthefuck of us would like it.

  • Msgr_MΩment
    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      OK.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        I miss the pancake rabbit.

    • SDGeoff3

      That’s a great photo! Wow!

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Say, has anybody warned folks in Houston wading around in flood water about the gators?

  • Parchment Scroll

    Scream shitting is not a thing I do on the internet, but it is a thing I do. Ask anyone who’s been in earshot of me in the last few days.

    • JCfromNC

      My medications tend to cause chronic constipation, which is exacerbated by my poor dietary choices. I’ve screamed my way through a shit once, and I’m hoping not to do it again any time soon.

  • phoenix00

    So is “Matt Rhodes” trying to say he’s made of gold? From gold? Is gold?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sr0gNJ090JA

  • Perkniticky

    Scream shitting sounds too much like reading Trump news while on the toilet. Not that it doesn’t happen, but we shouldn’t try to make this a thing.

  • handyhippie65

    i like scream shitting. it tells you right away this is pulled straight out of their ass.

    • natoslug

      I don’t. It usually means I’ve eaten far too much spicy food the night before.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    If I knew anything about the sportsball, I’d make caustic remarks about the Arizona Cardinals that would raise serious questions about AZCardsFan85’s sexual prowess.

    But I know nothing about the sportsball.

    • SeeTrain65

      Being a Cardinals fan nearly explains everything, IMHO.

  • Wes Grogan

    Âû is typically used to denote someone who wants to indicate their autism. Strange.

    • AJ Milne

      It’s a thing on the asshole RW web. Far as I have bothered to inquire (not very), autism is offered as excuse for assholeishness, possibly sarcastically, possibly not. Weird badge o’ pride fuck everyone else thing…

      (… which, BTW, seems to me might be somethin’ pretty incredibly shitty for, say, anyone _actually_ autistic/somewhere on the spectrum toward and trying _not_ to be entirely impossible to live with. Dunno what the numbers are on the alt-fascist types who actually are, versus just saying they are, or terribly proud they can pass for some weird, Hollywood approximation of the same, either. As previously implied: I would prefer to ignore them even more than I do.)

      • natoslug

        My wife often claims that I have Asperger syndrome, which I’d say is an insult to people with Asperger. I’m just a somewhat antisocial asshole who frequently ignores verbal cues.

        • Grumpy Old Man

          I am somewhat antisocial, unable to notice most verbal/physical cues (or overthink them) and probably suffer from ADD and yet people seem to think I am a people person – what’s an introvert to do?

        • SnarkON

          Honey?

      • george lastrapes

        And not all Aspies are harmless wuvvable dweebs. Stalin maybe was an Aspie. Isaac Newton almost certainly was- little-known fact: he ran England’s mint, and had a prison in which he tortured suspected traitors and counterfeiters. Maybe Mao, Likely J. Edgar Hoover. Many more monsters.
        Plus, not every Aspie is a genius. Although it is true that they matriculate in their hundreds at Oxford, e.g.

        • Grumpy Old Man

          Newton also invented the raised edge of coins to prevent the subtle scraping of minute bits of precious metal from each coin.

          • george lastrapes

            You can handle your preciouss too much…..

          • amrak63

            “Handling your precious”–is that what the kids are calling it these days?

      • Wes Grogan

        Ah, unfortunately that makes sense. I guess they’ve never met anything they couldn’t make worse just through vague association. Assholes.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    “Women has slender petite hands…”

    Lana Kane libelz!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_yuq7-gk1Y

  • That Baron Karza guy is a hoot, his ‘nym and avatar are a children’s toy. I’d bet actual folding money that he’s an ‘incel’.

  • folderol

    If you’re not screaming while you’re shitting, you’re not trying hard enough.

  • ken_kukec

    “AZCardsFan85″ can fashion loose-jointed sentences through a minimal expenditure of punctuation, ya gotta hand him that.

  • Permit-holder Ron

    For all the misery I put myself through these last three days, I was hoping for better from the trolls this week. Oh, well.

    • Juan de Fuca

      Matt Rhodes sounds like a dude who’s read too many Richard “Dick” Marcinko books or played too much Call of Duty. I don’t think he’s even bright enough to be a Russian troll, which is a pretty low bar.

  • Juan de Fuca

    When I was helping the YPG 2 years ago, I collected 5 Turkish scalps during a unprovoked attack by the Turkish Army.

    Is it just me or does that sound like something he stole from somebody else’s bio on TrumpSingles dot com?

    • Brian Fowler

      Sounds like he was playing Bioshock Infinite recently.

      • Juan de Fuca

        That or he’s obsessed with the work of the Matt Rhodes who is the lead artist for BioWare.

      • Grumpy Old Man

        Maybe S.T.A.L.K.E.R.?

  • Delu

    Is it just me or are a disturbing number of these fucknuts into violence against “the left” killing those they don’t like and all that?

    These are also the same fucknuts whose own people whine about getting arrested when they spout hate and are unhappy about the left “genociding” them (though that isn’t happening).

    • doktorzoom

      In this case, I assume it’s a Russian troll trying to urge Americans to think about killing other Americans, which is a whole ‘nother level of chilling.

      • Delu

        They might be doing something to that effect, but to a lower level of “intensity”.

        Such as getting the left and right to hate each other more and more, there’s not even a need to go into support of violence to do that.

        I once mused that perhaps the divide between the right and left, with the right slipping steadily into extremism, was something that might be influenced, at least in part, by outside agents who see it as an opportunity to divide the country. A divided country is a weakened country after all.

        It’s all conspiracy of course, but with recent light being shed that there ARE indeed Russian (and maybe even others) trolls doing exactly this deliberately, this might indeed be a thing.

      • Russian trolls don’t have to encourage that. Have heard that with mine own ears from Murricans.

        • Delu

          But it doesn’t hurt to do so.

          Helps with pushing the bus over the edge.

          • I sometimes think the bus is already over that edge.
            Then I remember that most of these chickenshit weekend warrirors can’t shoot strait and don’t join the military for a reason. Mainly the afore mentioned chickenshitism.

          • Delu

            I sometimes thing the bus is

            chickenshit weekend warrirors can’t shoot strait

            ……Riiiight…..

        • Anna in PDX

          Sometimes I think a comment is obviously a phony troll, perhaps from Russia or some other place where they are being paid to comment and get people riled up (what a job huh) but then I remember I’ve seen even more ridiculous posts from idiot Americans I know personally on Facebook. It is confusing and Poe’s Law continues to be a harsh mistress.

  • RE: Alex Jones. Sure, you can argue that a broken clock is right twice per day…but that’s not going to stop you from throwing that piece of shit out and buying something that works and makes some fucking sense.

  • mt2099

    Falsum in uno, falsum in omnibus.

    • SnarkON

      Excuse me, Stewardess, I speak jive.

    • David Pseudonym

      Oh, yeah? Well Draw 4!

  • ryp

    I’ve actually listened to Alex Jones on the radio, usually when driving home from playing poker at 2 AM, just to see what the lunatic fringe is obsessed about, and to stay awake. He never discusses globalism in any real way, not even at the Breitbart level of seeing it as subjugating national sovereignty to international economic interests. For him, globalists are literal demons who seek to enslave and destroy mankind. To what end it’s not clear. If the man isn’t straight up batshit crazy, he does a good job of acting like it.

    • Andy_Kreiss

      “Globalist” is just the latest epithet programmed into the skulls of impressionable right wingers. I’ve asked many who use it to define it, and never get a response.

      It’s like “socialist”, “Marxist”, “Alinskyite”, or “racist”, just a meaningless name they call anybody smarter than they are.

      • Delu

        It’s pretty much another bogeyman, like Soros.

        Of course some of the more manipulative types on the right are speaking of how globalism hurts “their” country because more diversity = less jobs for the “rightful” people of the country and how all these “foreigners” are “genociding” them and their culture through diversification. In short, it’s the white supremacist argument.

        Still others are arguing about the “takeover” of their country by “global markets and foreign economies” by having their country become more dependent on them (which they see as a bad thing). There is SOME sense in what they say, but basically this is the financial isolationist argument, and the greatest fans of these are, I assume, admirers of places like North Korea for their lack of dependence (largely) on the global economy. Of course these people don’t seem to mind if domestic companies take over their government, but whatever.

        The rest of the mob simply follow suit and shout “globalist” in the way they shout “communist” and “Soros”.

        • Andy_Kreiss

          It’s amazing that an outsourcing, illegal labor exploiting scumbag like trump could swindle even the dumbest rubes into believing he’s an anti-establishment, “America first” champion of the working class.

          There’s also a “Jew” factor to it, somehow sold to the same people who worship international bankers.

      • I thought racist was the liberal word for everyone who does not agree with them that white people are the bestest?

        • Delu

          Those who call out racism are the REAL racists!

          • Dang. According to the specials that means I have to unfriend myself

          • MasRioBravoHombre

            The really, really REAL racism is when blacks are meanies to white racists. Like BLM, and how they’re such meanies to murderous pigs. THAT’S racism.

          • Delu

            Well that’s what it is to the Nazi Trumpians.

            Summed up real well there.

          • MasRioBravoHombre

            Thanks. My racist Mom can tell you, ad nauseam, that she doesn’t WANT to hate black people, they FORCE her to hate ’em.

          • Delu

            Because hey, there’s no one else more in control of our own emotions and thinking than black people apparently.

          • MasRioBravoHombre

            They’re crafty!

        • Andy_Kreiss

          They think that, sometimes, depending on the circumstances and convenience.

      • MasRioBravoHombre

        Well…they can’t admit it means, “hook-nosed, Jew-ey, world controlling Jesus killers”. That would give the game away.

        • ahughes798

          Globalist means this:

          glob·al·ist
          ˈɡlōbəlist/Submit
          noun
          1.
          a person who advocates the interpretation or planning of economic and foreign policy in relation to events and developments throughout the world.
          adjective
          1.
          relating to or advocating the operation or planning of economic and foreign policy on a global basis.

          No mention or race or religion.

        • Andy_Kreiss

          They may not even realize what their dog whistles mean.

          • pstockholm

            Yet they come running, barking hysterically.

          • Andy_Kreiss

            Dogs don’t understand dog whistles.

      • Fritz1964

        Gosh – they must call everyone who isn’t them those names! Sounds exhausting.

  • SnarkON

    My ladyhands look especially slender and petite when giving dudes like AZCards the finger.

    • ahughes798

      Alas, my hands are not petite, nor are my fingers slender. All those years of playing guitars/basses will do that to a person. I, too, extend a non hand model middle ladyfinger in his direction.

      He is correct in one respect, and one respect only, from what I have gleaned from friends who were among the first groups of people who had hip replacements. The angles from pelvis to knee, and within and without the pelvis itself, are different between men and women. Because women bear children, and men do not. Early hip replacements were of course trialed on men, as most things medical were back in the day, and not so much on women. So women were given hip replacements that worked for men, and lots of them failed. Three women I know had to have their hip replacements replaced for these reasons.

      Also too, I took figure drawing classes.

      The other point where there is a skeletal difference between male and female(and this is just personal observation from when I used to bowl)so could be just BS, is that when you bowling, men throw these big, cranking hooks. Most women do not, which does not make them inferior bowlers. At all! There is a difference in the way the angles from shoulder to fingertip affect the way the arm, and the ball moves when released from the hand, between men and women.

      Other wise, sounds like the guy had too much covfefe. Or maybe Alex Jones.

  • tehbaddr

    That’s a bumper crop of derp!

    • SeeTrain65

      It’s sending prices tumbling on the Chicago Mercantile Derp Exchange!

  • The first of alex whatevers is confirmation bias run amok, class. AMOK. I wish he would not do loony things because he is right about this thing that I myself believe in!!!!
    Horseshoe is a circle is a rumbas with a cat on it eating a moth.
    Let that sink in, libtards.
    Also, thanks for the new name, Alex!

    • jackie jones

      I’m a poet and I cannot help but laud you with this. Hope YOU wrote it. Horseshoe is a circle is a rumbas with a cat on it eating a moth.

    • chezmoi

      Ha! I’m another poet, and that is indeed a fabulous phrase. I just wondered if you meant Roomba? They are made for cats.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0Z79ycisDU

  • JawClencher

    Alex Jones is not like the other kids here, in the trailer park. He knows that burrow owls live in a hole in the ground. Jumpin’ jesus on a pogo stick.

    • If Jesus had a pogo stick, could he jump over the Romans?

      • Delu

        Pathetic.

        Buddha can jump over a wall (don’t think it is Trump’s though), and he needs no damned pogo stick to do it!

        • Superman could leap a building in a single bound.
          Take that, Buddha!

          • jackie jones

            And don’t forget, Superman was invented by nice JEWISH boys!

          • Odd Jørgensen

            pffft, even I can jump higher than any building.

    • Fritz1964

      And tap water makes those owls gay!

  • Not Flat – ROUND!

    I have lived through oil shortages, food shortages, electricity shortages, and job shortages, when will I live through a shortage of stupidity and intolerance? [Not holding breath]

    “Scream shitting” make me laugh every time I think of it, let alone read it.

    • Paperless Tiger

      Brain shortage, lately.

    • Stulexington

      There are only two things that are infinite: the universe and human stupidity … and we’re not 100% sure about the universe. -don’t remember who but it’s quoting someone.

      • Bad Tom

        Albert Einstein

  • andyshelt
  • Paperless Tiger

    Alex Jones could be smart if he wasn’t a dumbass.

  • jackie jones

    Am I drunk? Or does every deleted poster sound like a 13 year old boy?

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    “You can tell men and women hands apart by the bone structure and muscle definition, as well as size. Women has slender petite hands , even if they have really longer fingers their hands are petite and much more slender than a mans. Men have wider, bulkier hands with much bigger/wider wrists.”

    I have small, elegantly shaped demi-hooves and a 16″ dick! What about that, HUH?

    • ladycat713

      I have large hands and have had periods for 37 years . Methinks he’s an idiot.

    • From Russia With A Permit

      Not to mention that thing on your forehead!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      16″ dick? You ARE an imaginary critter.

    • doktorzoom

      “The Unicorn is a mythical beast.” — James Thurber.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Which isn’t quite the same as being nonexistent.

        • doktorzoom

          I understand they’re seen in gardens now and again.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            I take no responsibility for anyone getting hauled off to the booby hatch.

  • little miss high and mighty

    Al Licks look lots like Hick (Cris) in this picture, dontchathink?

  • Moar Wordz

    ” I scalped 5 Turks & I’d DO IT AGAIN !!!! ”
    All that blood & gore must’ve interrupted his mental faculties.
    Crimea and Donbass? Where the hell is Donbass ?
    I’m geussing senility is arriving.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Donbass is in the eastern part of Ukraine, the “autonomous region” that the Russians took.

      • mardam422

        Dumbass in Donbass. Sounds about right.

      • Moar Wordz

        Ah. Years of contested territory and bloodshed, I assume.

  • JParkerSD46

    Oh, Matt Rhodes Whateverthefuckyourstupidsymbolsmean, my guess is that the only military “action” you’ve ever been involved with was in mom’s basement while you were absorbed in a rousing session of Call of Duty or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Maybe the Marines could use such a ferocious warrior as yourself. Just kidding.

    • javadavis

      Googled the mystery letters. Based on results, here’s a conspiracy theorette for you. Both the A part and the U part are used in French and in Turkish language. Since he spontaneously decries the Turks as beasts, I’m betting he is a native Turkish language speaker. Then there are the letters chosen – AU. I believe that this is the atomic symbol for gold. So, braiding these three points together gives us Turkish troll-bot who is doing it for the gold. Fa da!

  • bubbuhh

    I have an overwhelming impression from acshul close observation that people who mouthspout about the naughty bits and possible seckshual inclinations of specific people and groups with whom they have interaction, let alone personal knowledge, are quite likely to enjoy inserting the unlit ends of tiki torches in their own attached orifices when they think no one is looking. But, I could be wrong. They might have a partner of similar spouteeness who will lend them a hand or a orifice.

  • James_Matoon_Scott

    A few weeks ago, I was driving I-70 across Kansas. Only because Kansas separates me from buying weed in Denver. Searching for a radio station that did not play Country/Western I happened upon InfoWars. Curious, I listened.
    I had never heard such whacked out crap in my life. And the commercials were all about preparing for the end days, like purchasing a shelter for a mere $1 million.
    And then there were the supplies needed to stock said shelter. You could order for as many months as you thought you needed.
    I suddenly realized that Willie, Waylon, and the Boys weren’t that bad.

  • Poly_Ester

    I didn’t even think it was a category, but “AZCardsFan85’s” appears to be an alt-Platonist.

  • The “trannyspotting” joke and the subtle references to _A Confederacy of Dunces_ and _Dr Strangelove_.
    Dok Zoom, it’s yr world. We’re just living in it.

    • doktorzoom

      I’ll cop to the others, but I’ve never actually read Confederacy of Dunces, to my great shame. If I referenced it, it must be due to cultural osmosis… :D But thanks!

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