Education Secretary Betsy DeVos’s little sicko mercenary brother Erik Prince is out there failing to shut his baby face hole again. But this time he’s not saying, “Oh please, Donald Trump, pay me billions of dollars and let me do the Afghanistan war all by myself, so I can do Blackwater-style war crimes without any repercussions, as I am an unwell human.” Instead, he’s commenting on why we’ve tragically lost sailors in two major ship collisions in two months. (It’s actually four this year. That is a LOT!) The reason this is happening, according to Prince, is because all the sailors are distracted by the gays and the transgenders the liberals are currently cramming down their throat:


There’s only so many hours in a day. And when you fill those soldiers’ hours with a lot of non-combat, non-maritime-focused, politically correct social-engineering training, you’re taking away from their core mission, which is maritime power — maritime sea power projection. That guilt runs all the way from the chiefs running the enlisted men, to the officers of the boat, up to the senior commanders in the Navy distracting the men — the men and women — from doing the jobs that they’re supposed to be doing on those ships.

Yes that’s right, you fucking scumbag who ISN’T EVEN CURRENTLY IN THE MILITARY, sailors are so busy having their Gay Lessons that they’ve completely canceled their Don’t Crash The Boat classes. They’re too busy writing “I will not exert my cis het privilege” on the Navy blackboards 1,000 times in a row, as punishment for exerting their cis het privilege, that they didn’t even notice they were about to collide with another ship. THANKS, LIBERAL SOCIAL ENGINEERS!

Maybe if the GAYS weren’t looking at all the BUTTS, they would have seen the BOATS.

Maybe if the NAVY wasn’t removing all the sailors’ EYES and SELLING THEM to pay for TRANSGENDER SURGERIES, they would have seen this coming.

Jesus Christ, what a piece of shit Erik Prince is. What a delightful way to not only insult the military, by saying they’re obviously too incompetent to do their jobs if there are LGBT people around, but also advance your perverse, bigoted crusade against LGBT folks. Guess in Erik Prince’s eyes the American military is just way more pussy than the Israeli military, which is doing just fine with gay and trans servicemembers, please and fuck you.

As far as why these awful crashes actually happened, we’re not sure yet. Some have raised the possibility that somebody hostile (ahem, the Russians) might be spoofing GPS signals, but experts say there’s no evidence of that, though it wouldn’t be unprecedented. It’s important to remember that these collisions have happened in the busiest shipping lanes in the world, and one Navy expert we spoke to (our brother! who used to be on a destroyer going through these very areas!) noted that there are “several failover measures to prevent this kind of thing, not the least of which being fucking eyes.” Or as Popular Mechanics puts it:

There are enough nearby islands that a meaningful deviation from what ships crews were seeing with their own eyes would have been glaringly obvious. Furthermore, the conspiracy ignores the fact that GPS is not the only means U.S. Navy ships use for navigation. Watchstanders on the McCain should have been posted to keep an eye out for unexpected obstacles, ships not broadcasting an AIS transponder signal, and other potential hazards.

Factors that do keep coming up (here, here, and here — all those links are worth clicking on, by the way) are readiness, exhaustion, and the simple facts of Pacific deployments, which involve longer hours and much less sleep. Another former sailor weighs in:

Deployment times are up, sleep is down. As the fleet size decreases (we had 6,000 ships in WWII, we now have just under 300), the number of missions have only increased. What that means is that we are doing more with less. We have created multi-mission platforms … and we have required those ships to be deployed more. This is especially true in 7th Fleet, where both of these ships are. These ships are underway constantly. Every time Kim Jong Un decides to throw a temper tantrum, these ships get underway. Every time the Chinese decide to build on a new island, these ships get underway. When underway, sailors get very little sleep. There are watches to be stood 24 hours a day, drills to be run, qualifications to get and missions to accomplish. People get tired, and when they do, they make mistakes.

While there may not be definitive answers yet, what all normal people discussing it have in common is that none of them are blaming “social engineering” for the crashes, even the ones who are citing readiness problems. The only asshole making that argument seems to be this little Aryan crusader, who has been an unofficial Trump adviser for a VERY long time, and he’s very conveniently saying it at a time when the Bigot-In-Chief just so happens to be trying to push through a useless, unwanted ban on trans folks serving.

Did we mention how Prince’s name keeps coming up in the Trump-Russia investigation, because of weird backroom meetings he had with the Trump team, and the weird meeting he attended in the Seychelles for the purpose of setting up a back channel between Trump and Russia? Just a reminder.

It’ll be fascinating to learn just how compromised he is in that investigation, and what he’s really getting out of the deal.

For today, suffice it to say he should go fuck himself.

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[Shareblue / Popular Mechanics]

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  • dslindc
  • Joe Beese

    It can become a training catchphrase.


  • memzilla Ω

    Dear Mr. Prince:

    Allow me to tell you of my unique idea of how to use a steam catapult…

    • Rags

      No digital! NO digital!

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    There’s only so many hours in a day. And when you fill those soldiers’ hours with a lot of non-combat, non-maritime-focused, politically correct social-engineering training,

    So that’s what they call scraping paint nowadays.

  • IdiotsforPalin

    Hey Eric, called, your credit card was denied……….

  • Dudleydidwrong

    Like a pile of rotting meat the Trump administration has a knack for attracting flies and the larvae they create, i.e. maggots. Eric Prince and your family, I’m describing you.

    • Little Lulu Ω

      The Trump Administration has learned a lot from the rotting pile of Trump Steaks Kellyanne keeps stashed for photo ops.

  • NotDarkYet

    He wants to take over with with mercenary force. We all know that the private sector never makes mistakes. NEVAAAAHHH!

    • True.

      The US Air Force could learn a few lessons from Trump Airlines. What not to do, etc

      • NotDarkYet

        Bring in some advisors from Trump casinos, and the whole shebang can’t fail.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “I will replace the Navy with my highly trained force of mercenary dolphins! Release the dolphins! Wait, where did they go? Why did they leave all their gear behind? Umm, this is just a temporary setback.”
      — Erik Prince

      • NotDarkYet

        That’ll be a bigger fuck-up … uh … setback … than operation Acoustic Kitty!

    • tomamitai

      Didn’t he move to Abu Dhabi so he wouldn’t have to face the consequences of some of those “mistakes”?

      • NotDarkYet

        Right! Plus, the weather, I hear, I beautiful this time of year …

    • MrTusks

      Well, it’s never held accountable for its mistakes, and isn’t that the same thing?

      • NotDarkYet

        See no mistake, make no mistake, pay for no mistake.

        And in the off chance there IS a mistake, we’ll do arbitration.

  • Joy

    ok. Send this douche to be Prince of the Afghan mountains… party of one. But let’s only give him a string and scotch tape.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      The Man Who Would Be King did not turn out well.

    • bbayliss

      Short string, double stick tape.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • MrTusks

      Look at that dudes’ jacket. He must be like Prestige Level 99.

      • The Wanderer

        Yikes. Master Chief Boatswain’s Mate, if I read that right. Knows more than the Captain, and has more influence.

  • JohnBull

    Sailors are (apparently) not able to do their mission AND accept their transgendered colleagues, and that’s a serious problem? Sounds like someone doesn’t think too highly of the military.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Yeah, there all a bunch numb-nut grunts who can’t handle walking and chewing gum at the same time. Because that’s the best the Best Goddamn Military the World Has Ever Known could ever recruit.

      Dude needs to have a seat… at the bottom of a volcano.

    • TJ Barke

      Well yeah, he’s kind of obligated to believe his band of greedy cutthroats would do it better.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Mercenary says what?

  • Hmmm, I think you’re not supposed to call them the “Navy” any more.

    Popeye Organization

  • OrG

    They really don’t have anything, do they?

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Dear Eric Prince,

    If the cause of the accidents is human error, it’s almost certainly the fault of officers, not ordinary sailors, you stupid prick.

    The Navy

    • PubOption

      As was said of the British Army, and is probably true of US forces – all decisions are made at the highest level, and all blame goes to the lowest level.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        The US Army says “shit rolls downhill” to express that thought.

        • Bobathonic

          So the Army is full of Civil Engineers?

          • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

            And a few uncivil ones!

        • Faithrsanders

          Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family!!!
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
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    • ExPFCWintergreen

      Let me do that which would otherwise be unthinkable and offer what is almost nearly tantamount to a defense of the wee-tiny kernel of truth in what Prince is saying. Now, the homophobic shit? Yeah, not so much. Training on LGBT awareness, etc., is a tiny fraction of what’s going on. Where there *is* a bit of truth in what he’s saying — pardon me while I throw up a little in my mouth — is the more general fact that the armed services are so awash in mandatory training events of all kinds (traffic safety, protecting your personally identifiable information, etc. etc. etc.) that there are — literally — not enough hours in the day to train on missions.

      A study done at Ft. Leavenworth, where the Army has its main training research center, showed that out of 256 available training days per year, it would take 297 just to do all the mandatory training (which is not combat training). So there is an institutional problem across DoD with troops being distracted by non-mission critical training, as important as some of it might well be. But Prince, of course, like the good little conservafascist he is, is taking a fairly important issue and warping it beyond all recognition to serve his ideological masters’ raging homophobia and overall stupidity.

      • goonemeritus

        They could drop the mandatory safety meetings prior to leaves, no one listens anyway.

        • ExPFCWintergreen

          And pretty much prior to everything else, too! Like I’m going to make a strip map to my destination, just in case. Criminy, I had to spend 90 minutes last week doing online training to prove I’m competent to do online training. “Congratulations! You have completed the online training assessment and are now eligible for online training!”

          • Rags

            Wait. You did online training to qualify for online training? How did you qualify for online training to qualify for online training to qualify for online training?

          • Bad Tom

            Shhhh! Don’t bring it up!

          • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

            UPVOTED for Zeno’s Paradox riff.

      • MrTusks

        1. The military is spending too much time on training.
        2. The military is training on LGBT issues.
        3. Ergo, the military is spending too much time training on LGBT issues.

        Technically correct is, after all, the best kind of correct.

    • goonemeritus

      Not salty enough to be a navy comment.

  • Add him to the pile of rich white people who would be in jail for a bajillion years in a just universe…

    • Maggielle

      Put Prince in a cell next to Shkreli. Prince would be unable to use his amazing mercenary skills to bludgeon Shkreli, but he could threaten to, and meanwhile Shkreli could talk Prince to the point of Prince wanting to bludgeon himself. And may they be next door neighbors for many many years.

  • beatbort

    He’s right. They were working on their Village People “In The Navy” routines down in the hold.
    I haven’t heard anything this stupid since the last time Pat Robertson opened his anus.

  • Indiepalin

    They should keel-haul the lot of ’em. Shiver me timbers!

    • OrG

      Aye matey!

  • Bill D. Burger

    When your argument about ANY military issue is vapid and total nonsense, throw up Erik Prince to FUX News.

  • Treg Brown

    Amway sales shill says what now?

    • Scamway? That’s DeVos territory

      • Treg Brown

        Eric is her brother. Small world.

  • anon_the_great

    Prince was accepted into the United States Naval Academy and attended it for three semesters before leaving, citing that he loved the Navy but disliked the Academy. -Wikipedia

    Erik pulled a Trump

    • DrBigHead

      In other words, he couldn’t cut it.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      True fact: It’s college week on Jeopardy, and a nice fellow from Naval Academy owned the shit out the board on Wednesday night.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Wasn’t he the best – and such a cutie too! Wait that plays into Prince’s disgusting theory doesn’t it. Never mind.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Too much political correctness. The instructors seemed to feel entitled to tell him what tot do!

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Could imagine his instructors thinking “insufferable little twerp”.

    • Bad Tom

      Or (worse?) a Palin.

  • BloviateMe

    Well, someone needs their poop-deck swabbed. What a crank.

    • Rags

      Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    What really happened:
    Step one, encourage rabbit recruitment into armed services:
    Step two, promotion:
    Step three, uh-oh, sexy rabbit cross-dressing distracts troops:
    Step four, earth-shattering “kaboom!”

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Thank you for that! My favorite.

    • mardam422

      Where is the “Profit!”?

  • La forza del resistino

    To be hetero safe, let’s get rid of all the cruisers in the fleet. Tenders are kinda squishy too.

  • Vincent Ricola

    I am not a religious person, but someone is going to have to convince me that Erik PrinceofDarkness isn’t Satan’s favorite son.

    • Bobathonic

      Joe Lucas libelz!

  • Timothy Watson

    “one Navy expert we spoke to (our brother! who used to be on a destroyer going through these very areas!) noted that there are “several fallover measures to prevent this kind of thing, not the least of which being fucking eyes.””

    Oh, the old Mark I Eyeball? Who would thought of using that?

  • MynameisBlarney

    Shut the fuck up, you ignorant dominionist fucktard.

  • fawkedifiknow

    Erikkk Prince has a punchable hair cut.

    • mardam422

      Don’t punch his haircut. Punch his face.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Erik Prince: “If the Trump administration would give me and my Merry Band of Mercenaries $100 billion a year, we will take over the U.S. Navy’s job.”

  • MynameisBlarney

    It’s all seamen on the poopdeck.

    That’s what’s causing the collisions.

  • Ricky Gay

    A prince among thieves

  • WeaselPoo

    The 300 current ships vs 6000 WW2 ships is a stupid ‘argument’.
    I’d bet poor ship to ship and chain of command communications (plus maybe some equipment failure?) are at fault.
    But it isn’t the gays—everyone knows THEY cause hurricanes, not maritime collisions.

    • tomamitai

      I also kind of doubt that they’re running more missions than during WWII, even on a per ship basis.

    • Rags

      Hmm…so by this logic there should be 20 times more sailors to run those ships?

    • The Wanderer

      A dumbass brought that up in 2012, citing the fact that the WW1 Navy had fewer ships than we have now. I shut him up harshly by comparing the WW1 battleship Florida with the nuclear guided missile submarine Florida. No real comparison, but it shut him up.

  • little miss high and mighty

    See, here is their Homo-wedgie
    They do not want the electorate to know there are same sex RWNJs and they blame our tragic military casualty lists on military gays.
    They are the real identity gambit players not we.
    They are the culture was guerilla squads but they will paint us intolernt elitists anyway, straight or whatevers!
    We gotta stick to our good things- the basics- those are strong enough electoral themes on their own.
    Let’s let them paint themselves intolerant and unempathetic to human tragedy.
    Trump and Co like service(wo)men who don’t die in our name.
    Now we really gotta run Friday is almost over and we gotta git some stuff done.
    Whole continent here kinda shuts up on weekends- must make it to the paraphinaelia (sp?) store before the Friday pm closing then off to the deep salt mines via S-bahn and their surley drivers+ last 2km on foot uphill on a steep alp.

    Laters, mates

  • mailman27

    For a so-called military “expert” and mercenary that explanation is so fucking unlikely and indeed downright dopey, that even his fellow bigots must be cringing.

  • Elendira

    Isn’t this the exact same shit that this racist trans-homophobes were saying about “the Blacks” when the Federal Government decided to desegregate the armed services?

    these fucking assholes

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They dusted off all the old arguments from the late 40’s about racial integration of the military. Hell, even Colin Powell used them in the late 80’s/90’s when gays came up as an issue.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Carpe Vagenda

    Moving this from the Agenda:

    Fun fact: Eric Prince’s parents bought him a spot at the US Naval Academy. He washed out after three semesters. Then his parents bought him a degree at Hillsdale Wingnut Finishing School.

    He first attended the Naval Academy, but soon began considering other academic paths. The Deputy Commandant of the Academy said if he left he would amount to nothing. “Having to go to class at the Academy and having to be kind of on guard from the statist nonsense that was coming from some of the professors, it was nice to go to Hillsdale and be able to listen, relax, and not feel like I had to argue,” Prince said in an exclusive Collegian interview this month.

    • pluky

      That Hillsdale Collegian article is gag inducing. Oy!

      • Carpe Vagenda

        He was there at about the time the highly-moral civilization saving President of Hillsdale was having it off with his daughter-in-law. I believe she killed herself.

    • H0mer0

      he was a Seal?

  • Bill D. Burger

    Don’t forget that Erik Prince is up to his fucking eyeballs in the Trump/Russia scandals.

    • bbayliss


  • CountryClubJihadi

    Something tells me that Rear Admiral Prince will meet an appropriate fate one day.

    • goingohm

      I hear there’s a “Navy” recruiter name of Mueller looking to sign him up for a hitch on the U.S.S. Danbury.

  • TJ Barke

    Actually, it’s probably cyber attacks by your friends in Russia, Eric, you mercenary garbage.

    • Bobathonic

      No. Cyber attacks do not affect the Mk 1 Mod 0 Eyeball.

      • The Wanderer

        Exactly. It was remarked to me that someone might have mucked around with the GPS, and I brought them up short by reminding them that the Navy sets a deck watch, which includes people looking out to sea with binoculars.

  • Me not sure

    A slur beats a thorough and conclusive investigation every time. Thanks, Hessian Prince Erik.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Is it just that I’m getting jaded from all the winning, or are all the richest Republicans the biggest assholes on the planet? Mercers and Kochs forcing rabid reich-wing assholes into office, that dingbat married to Mnuchin who picked a fight over wearing designer clothes, every. single. person on trumpy’s cabinet, this fuckin’ guy? I mean, come on now. Does “failure to possess a soul” come before or after you amass more money than entire populations of small countries?

    • BrianW

      Given the end result, does the order really even matter?

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Erik Prince is a fucktard. But you knew that.

    The Navy is undermanned and overtasked right now, and this is why bad things happen. Men and women can only pull so many 18 hour shifts before they start making mental errors even without stuff blowing up around them. It has nothing to do with “social engineering”, though.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      If he wasn’t a complete moron, he would be lobbying on that and pushing to have have the ships’ crews augmented by his mercenaries for a tidy profit.

  • Ghenghis McCann

    ‘The traditions of the Royal Navy are rum, sodomy and the lash’ Winston Churchill.
    Sorry, Erik Prince, there seem to have been gays at sea for a long time.

    • Bobathonic

      “There is NO cannibalism in the Royal Navy.”

      • The Wanderer

        “And when I say there is none, I mean that there is a certain amount – JENKINS! PUT DOWN THAT LEG!”

  • MynameisBlarney

    It is quite telling that turmp and faux nooz think that his opinions mean a fucking thing.
    His mercenary company, blackwater, or Xe or what ever the fuck it’s called now, committed a FUCK-TON of war crimes in Iraq.
    Erik Prince and his murdering goddamned mercs should be in fucking prison. Not on tv talking about shit like he’s a fucking expert or something.

    Fuck him.

    • bbayliss

      double fuck him

      • teele

        Not even with DT’s dick.

  • Jeffery Campbell

    Erik Prince is a closeted homosexual. I just know it.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      A lot of people are saying ….

    • Lex Luthor

      Is there any way to nail the closet door shut? We don’t want to claim him.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        I know, right? We DO NOT want him on our team.

    • MynameisBlarney

      He hasn’t denied it, sooo…

    • Bobathonic

      I read that on the innernetz.

  • doggiedaddy
  • mardam422

    Spoofing GPS was the plot of Tomorrow Never Dies. The Russians are using our own Western decadence against us!!!!11

    • bbayliss

      Always have.

    • wait! what?

      …they could shoot us from Stuttgart und still create ze proper effect…

    • specialcircumstances

      Where is Teri Hatcher when we need her??

      • Mehmeisterjr

        A question I ask myself every damn day.

    • MrTusks

      That’s the movie where the bad guy was the media, right? It’s all coming true!

      • mardam422

        Ding Ding!! Give that man a cupcake.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    I thought he was supposed to be tough or something? He’s seems to be terrified of penises. Maybe he’s never seen one?

    • bbayliss

      He keeps his eyes closed?

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Sounds reasonable. Like Termite’s fear of single women. Though I can see Eric groping around in the dark, desperately searching for a penis, any penis.

  • Mavenmaven

    and soon, with his sister in charge of education, they won’t be able to read, either.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Why is this guy even a thing? What has he ever done successfully other than inherit money? Has he been held to account for his crimes? No? Then fuck him and his stupid opinions.

  • Sure. Somehow the military is less professional about diversity than the private sector, now tell us again how much you love the troops, asswipe.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    When your entire military strategy consists of ‘if it moves kill it’ I suppose it leaves a lot of time for speculation on Prince’s part.

    • wait! what?

      Erik seems more like a one word strategy type of guy.

      if it moves kill it

  • Maggielle

    Good morning! I have regained my powers of upvoting, although Disqus is still being a bit of a brat.

    Here’s the pertinent point:

    “…What that means is that we are doing more with less….”

    And I’m thinking, “Jeez, it’s happening in the armed forces, too.” My former employers tried to work me to (metaphorical) death by reducing their work force and piling everything on me and one other support staffer, and I – being afraid of unemployment and looking like a big incompetent loser – kept taking it, working longer off-the-clock hours, more more more, till I got so sick I lost 30 pounds and got kind of insane and had to leave. (Then they hired (!) a new person and proceeded, I assume, to try to work him to death.)

    So I imagine being in the Navy, a much more hazardous gig, for a specified term of service, doing what I thought I might love, or at least doing something I thought had value…and then, then…they work you to death, literally. And the supply of fresh cannon fodder is short, because no draft, etc. In other words, I’m feeling sympathy for these men and women.

    • Canned Covfefe

      You wimp, actually quiting before you were dead.

      • Maggielle

        I know! The wimp factor is why I held on for so long – I kept telling myself “You have to work smarter, you stupid git”. Now, of course, I’m embarrassed that I stayed so long when a sensible person would have walked way earlier. All I can say is non compos mentis. (Which btw autocorrect tried to change to “no compost mantis”.)

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    To call Erik Prince and people like him contemptible is a veritable compliment. There are no words in the English language that adequately convey how loathsome, despicable and completely irredeemable they are.

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    Do you know why the Navy switched its showers from bar soap to powder?
    It takes longer to pick up!

  • bbayliss

    Bernie Madoff, pyramid scheme, jail.
    DeVos family, “multi-level marketing”, cabinet post.

  • MynameisBlarney

    OT, But…

    I wonder if this is intentional.

    Maybe ol’ pooty-poot told him to bankrupt the USSS so he can hire his own security.

  • wait! what?

    If it is an outside hack Erik will blame it on “poofing” GPS for sure…

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Fuck or Nazi?

  • Anna Rompage

    Gay training?

    But I thought most of the people who enlist in the Navy are already gay….

  • janecita

    Next time that I get into a car accident, I will be blaming the “GAYS!” Thanks Erik Prince for the wonderful idea.

  • Gorillionaire

    This “man” is a sick sociopath even by 13th Century standards.

  • miss_grundy

    Does he have any proof to back up his assertions? I’m sorry, did you say he said this on Faux News? Well the, continue to demonstrate that you are even stupider than your sister.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      I would have thought the fact checkers at Fox would have caught this.

      • Bad Scooter

        They checked with the Family Research Council, and Tony Perkins confirmed how easily someone can become so consumed with wondering what the gays are doing that it becomes their sole focus.

        • Permit-holder Ron

          He’d definitely know.

  • Nockular cavity
  • Ilgattomorte

    You have to see this from Prince’s point of view.
    In the modern Navy there’s just so much pressure to be fabulous now. With all the late night dance parties and and fashion shows, it becomes really hard to concentrate. That’s not even taking into account all of the competition of having to keep up with the Cowboy, the Indian and the Construction Worker.

    I’m sure Eric Prince has figured all of this out.

    • unionthuggery

      It’s just not been the same since they were required to install mechanical bulls and strobe lights in the galleys.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Evan, seriously this post rocks (the boat).

  • Tzipora Kaplan

    “Yes that’s right, you fucking scumbag who ISN’T EVEN CURRENTLY IN THE MILITARY, sailors are so busy having their Gay Lessons that they’ve completely canceled their Don’t Crash The Boat classes.”

    Sounds like the Navy needs a Time Turner.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    So much for Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash.

    • unionthuggery

      Now it’s just rum, sock-fucking, and the lash.

    • Parakeetist

      That’s a good album.

    • The Wanderer

      Damned shame that the USN is officially ‘dry.’ As for sodomy, that’s a fine old tradition in every nation’s navy.

      • grindstone

        Those two sentences do NOT go well together…

        • The Wanderer

          Yeah, you are correct. Wow, didn’t think that one through.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        Hey, phrasing!

  • The Wanderer

    Discord’s Tits, what a fucking blemish on the ass of humanity. In any sane universe, Prince and his hideous sister Betsy would be living under a bridge.

    • unionthuggery

      I’d give extra upvotes if I could for the creative use of Discord’s tits.

      • thewendyb


      • The Wanderer

        Hmm. (Ponders an MLP fanfic featuring Discord’s breasts and his milk. What would it taste like? Would the taste change from pony to pony?)

      • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

        I’ll donate my upvote to you.

    • thewendyb

      I love your swears!

      • The Wanderer


  • Angela Ruzzo

    This is the same ridiculous nonsense some people spouted about women in the military sixty years ago. They said the males would all be distracted by their hard-ons or by their natural urge to protect the females, and wouldn’t be able to do their job. Meanwhile, the women would all be distracted by their periods or would get pregnant and wouldn’t be able to do their job.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      And has the US made the entire world safe for democracy since that date? Hmm? Got you there!

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Well, we failed to do that in Viet Nam and Iraq and Afghanistan, and that was BEFORE we allowed women in combat units. The ban wasn’t officially removed until 2016.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          details, details.

          • Bad Tom

            (waves hand)

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Say, you make a good point there! Would you be interested in heading up a cabinet in the Trump administration?

        • Lance Thrustwell

          Head it up? I’ll stain and varnish that cabinet!

          • JustDon’tSayDignity

            The staining is already in progress. Not sure we’re going to like the color, though.

          • Permit-holder Ron

            If we call it ‘saffron’ or ‘sunflower’ it might get by.

          • JustDon’tSayDignity

            So ‘baby poo’ is a non-starter, then?

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Sixty years ago? Shit, I remember my 8th grade teacher saying this to our class. This would have been 1992.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        If my father were alive today he would still be saying it – until my mother kicked him under the table.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    I feel like I’ve heard this argument before.

    I think we should re-segregate the military. How are white men supposed to do their jobs with all the negroes running around smoking reefers, leering at white women, and listening to jazz?

  • goonemeritus

    I have piloted my rowing shell all summer without hitting any container ships and my lake is replete with many gay households.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    SENATOR: But admiral, have all the men in the Navy, historically, been straight?
    ADMIRAL: Well… {makes seesaw motion with his hand} Navy straight.

    • grindstone

      It ain’t gay once you’ve left the quay.

      • Steve Cole

        Checks another box

  • Pat_Pending

    I think Mr. Prince (if that is his real name) doth protest too much…

    • BadKitty904

      I hear he likes gladiator movies.

      • Pat_Pending

        I wonder if he’s ever seen a grown man naked.

        • BadKitty904

          I’ll bet he’s been in a Turkish prison.

          • MrTusks

            Surely you’re joking.

          • BadKitty904

            Yes, I am. And don’t call me “Shirley”.

          • kareemachan

            I guess this wasn’t the right week to stop sniffing glue…

        • Rags

          certainly not himself

  • BadKitty904

    Says the guy who’s fortune is based on renting out big, buff young men…

  • I can’t even.

  • gallbladder

    What else would one expect from a sibling of deVos?

    • Heyzeus Ahchay

      Are we not men? We are deVos.

    • cats530

      DeVos-statingly Deplorables.

  • It’s amazing! I knew plenty of gay people in the Navy in Vietnam. None of them ran into any other ships. Prince is the queen of Whore mercenaries.

    • Maybe

      Or the king of pimp mercenaries.

      • H0mer0

        I agree since the pimp is a parasite while the commercial sex worker is providing a valuable service.

  • Maybe

    Do you suppose we wouldn’t need to train military personnel to be tolerant if our society already did that from birth?

    • Beaufighter

      Free to taxpayers, even.

  • Bad Tom

    Erik Prince is loathsome. You will never stem a string of accidents by scapegoating the cause. It is a cheap, stupid move.

    We spend more money than ever on the military. Yet the money doesn’t appear to be going to create a force sized adequately to do its job. What are we spending all this money on, if not on ships and planes, and the necessary sailors, pilots and soldiers?

    Getting rid of trained personnel will hurt military readiness, Erik you moron!

    • Manders

      I’m gonna go out on a limb here (/s) and say the answer is waste. Throwing lots of money at the military seems like a great idea if you are concerned about safety, but not if there isn’t some oversight.

      • TundraGrifter

        A great deal of it is corporate welfare. And a vast network of overseas military bases that may well make us left safe. I highly recommend the books written by Andrew Bacevich.

    • Permit-holder Ron

      There was a bit about this on TV yesterday. The Biggest And Most Expensive Military In The World is short 1500 pilots and 6500 ground crew for planes that are only 50% available, the Navy is historically minuscule and the Marine pilots are only getting 12-15 hours of flight time a MONTH. Oh, and they’re short thousands of soldiers. It’s abundantly clear that you’re not getting value for money.

  • Heyzeus Ahchay

    I believe Mr. Prince lacks the dick needed to fuck himself, but he has just enough to fuck everyone else in the USA.

    • kareemachan

      That’s why he runs his private army – to make up for his shortcomings….

  • Oblios_Cap

    If that were true, submarines would be crashing all over the place. I mean, they are long, hard, and full of seamen.

    • The Wanderer

      Now you have me earworming In the Navy.

      • Tommy Beard

        Earworming, sounds kinky :P

    • Steve Cole

      Checks box

  • medcannabis1
    • Mehmeisterjr

      Today, we are all trans.

    • grindstone

      A few years back:. Which one is gay?
      A few more years back:. Which one is female?
      A few more years back:. Which one is black?

      • Eric Mory

        Bigotry is not very imaginative, same crap, a different time and people. It recycles the same bad ideas over and over and over.

  • Jenny

    Eat a dick, Erik.

    • cats530

      I think he already does.

  • Just got my Telomere test results back…

    What a crock of unverifiable horseshit. No more meaningful than playing Powerball and losing.


    But I can use these STRONG FEELINGS to change my behavior (diet+exercise). Off to buy some greens for a quick stir fry for lunch. 😋

    Takes a $10 shoe to fit my feet

  • TundraGrifter

    “maritime sea power projection” is the type of phrase used by people who are trying to sound like they know what they are talking about. And failing.

    Personally, I’ll go with “Traditions of the British Navy? You mean rum, sodomy, and the lash?” That quote is generally attributed to Sir Winston Churchill. I’ve read he was asked about it and he said it wasn’t his. But he wished it was.

    • The Wanderer

      “Power projection” is a thing, though, usually associated with its earlier version, “sea power.”

  • Beaufighter

    Fucking monsters, all of them. Hell has construction teams working overtime building a new circle.

  • The Wanderer

    George Carlin: “As they say in the U.S. Navy, ‘There is no wrong hole.'”

  • Bitter Scribe

    I think those accidents happened because the sailors were too worried about mercenaries taking their jobs.

    See how easy that is?

  • Eric Mory

    Erik Prince seems share of a lot of the same opinions of Christian Dominionists. I don’t know if he’s actually used any of their buzzwords, but certainly shares the same worldview. Both he and his sister, Betsy Devos, believe that government and the military should be used to promote / force their ultra fundamentalist Christian views on people, “for the Glory of God.”
    If you’ve never heard of Christian Dominionism check it out.

    They are scary!

    • cats530

      “Religious Right: The Greatest Threat to Democracy,” A.F. Alexander and
      “Building God’s Kingdom: Inside the World of Christian Reconstruction,” Julie Ingersoll are good books to read. Dry reading, but explains the mindset of these authoritarian whack jobs.

    • Sophie McMillan

      He and Mike pence are communists. The intercept( which I normally avoid) did a great article about their history and their plans. I think it was written by Jeremy scahill

      • Sophie McMillan

        fat bloody fingers and spell check ,,,,,,I meant to type they are Dominionists

  • Cornelius Fussbudget

    All of those Nazis that get kicked out of the military have to find work somewhere, right? I would wager good money there’re more Nazis working for Prince than you would expect by chance. We need an investigative journalist on this, stat!

    • Hardly Ideal

      Nerd tangent, if I may?

      Remember Metal Gear 4: Guns of the Patriots? Long story short, it proposes a future where mercenary companies inject their soldiers with nanomachines that enhance and regulate their abilities. Monitors their vitals, tracks their location, controls their emotions, that kind of thing. All in the name of a cleaner, safer battlefield.

      It’s all presented as a creeping dystopian setting, but leave it to people like Prince and Blackwater to make it sound like a good idea.

  • cats530

    “Blackwater” is a term for the solid waste (poop) tank in an RV. Prince even came up with the name Blackwater on his own, which makes it that much more ironic. ‘Blackwater Bro,’ indeed.

    • Fritz1964

      I always thought it was blue water…

      • H0mer0

        or “Backwater”

    • Haven’t they changed it like three times already because “War Crimes Inc” wasn’t testing well?

      • Tommy Beard

        Yep, first Xe Services and now Academi. Probably only changed because of the negative rep Blackwater had.

        • sarafina

          Yet that original name continues …

    • Hardly Ideal

      Even setting that aside, it sounds like a really ominous thing to call yourself. It begs a question which seems to be coming up more and more these days:

  • pgjack

    The fact that the US military is so dependent on mercenaries is a very bad sign. I know this would bring up a lot of negative arguments but reinstating the draft would get a greater percentage of American families involved in the military and would get more personnel trained to staff those ships.

    • It would also increase youth political engagement. Who’s going to vote for the asshole who wants to ship your ass to East Cuckistan?

      • sarafina

        And their parents would be a lot more interested in just why the government wants to turn their kids into cannon fodder. I think the draft should be reinstated also, and function as a job/training entity, if we ever stop invading other countries.

  • cats530

    It’s so obvious that men who are are constantly fixated on imagining what the LGBT is ‘up to’ have some unfulfilled desires of their own.

    • Fritz1964

      I’m sure Ted Haggard can help him out…

    • Tommy Beard

      Not long ago I shut down a conversation with a right-winger who was railing about the “perverted things homosexuals do” by asking him to name one thing they do that heterosexuals don’t. Crickets. ;)

      • Hardly Ideal

        Word. I’m not a betting man, but something tells me a lot of these anti-gay pricks pray nightly for a girl who gives anal on a first date.

      • James Yakura


        • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

          That works too.

  • Gussie Jives

    “My God, it’s almost like our service members are human beings or something and not the robotic killing machines we pretend they are! Purge their touchy-feely politically-correct individuality post-haste!”

  • Fritz1964

    Ah, Mr. Prince: The Betsy Devos of Military Knowledge…

    • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

      Well played.

  • jackie jones

    Give it up, Mary. Gays have been in the Navy since before ancient Egypt.

    • pluky

      There’s even a song or two about it.

  • moeman

    Did he says this with a cock in his mouth?

    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy


    • SeeTrain65

      “I told him, ‘It’s no use going off half-cock. Mind you,’ I said, ‘in your case, it’s no use going off full-cock.'” – Stephen Fry

  • Maybe Mr Prince should change his occupation to Olympic long jumper given the vast logical leaps he’s making.

  • No, no, no. Haven’t you been paying attention to this political season, Mr Prince? You’re duppose to blame Hillary Clinton for this. Duh!

    • Debra Dassow

      Buttery males.

  • James Yakura

    It has been said that the Navy runs on rum, sodomy, and the lash. But rum rations are gone, and we no longer practice corporal punishment. The modern Navy runs on sodomy, and sodomy alone. And, Mr. Prince, I am not going to stand idly by while you attempt to deprive our brave sailors of a vital resource!

  • Viva La Tabula Raza

    I thought this guy was ex-Navy. He called it a boat. In the Navy, calling your ship a boat is a cardinal sin. The only ships that are called boats are submarines. It’s not complicated!

    • DarkSyn

      & then there are the liberty boats that take you ashore.

    • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

      Correct. I have no idea why any network would want to give that shithead airtime in the first place.

  • Ωbjectifier

    It’s Buggery on the High Seas!

    “Rip the shirt, how cliche. I suppose next you’re going to make me walk the plank?”

    • Permit-holder Ron

      Extra upfist for Cheech & Chong reference!

  • Gayer Than Thou

    TBH, I’d probably hit it.

    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      The Thing? ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

  • blueeyedcuban

    Bring back the cabin boys…. problem solv..ed

  • Johnnymoreno

    Churchill described Royal Navy tradition as mainly: “Rum, sodomy and the lash.”

    Seemed to gave worked out fine for them.

    • Sophie McMillan

      A fabulous Pogues album

  • Holly Palmer

    Their multi-millionaire mother has spent hundreds of thousands of dollars promoting anti-LGBT legislature all over the country. Apple didn’t fall far from the tree with these two.

    • shame it thumped neither of them on the head. They could use a swift course in gravity.

  • bookish

    Teh gay is so powerful, you guys.

  • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude

    Say, you know who else crashed a ship and blamed “the homosexuals?”

  • Economist2011

    Maybe the blame goes to the AWOL “commander in chief” who’s too busy on the golf course.

    4 accidents so far this year. The military budget is bigger than ever and Donald’s non-military experience is showing.

    • sarafina

      I think the further away the orange shitgibbon stays from actual military operations the better.

  • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

    As the local chapter chairperson of our international organization, I say, “Be afraid. Be very afraid!”.

    It amazes me how us limp wristed pansies and dykes with buzzcuts who make up less than 3% of the population can wield such tremendous power. (we’re a hell of a lot more than 3%, BTW)

    • The Librarian

      Pfffftttt, us Joos are hated too, and we control everything!!!! Think you’re that powerful? Thumb wrestling for the title!!!!

  • blaid droog

    Prince seems to be a devotee of the ever popular word salad. He talks a lot but doesn’t say anything.

    • H0mer0

      “When I have nothing to say, my lips are sealed.”

  • The Librarian

    Trans folk are just like you and I, Erik!! They eat and drink, have loved ones and serve in the military! But then, there’s your shady mercenaries and secret Russian meetings and your greatest crime, being Devos’ brother. Come to think of it, you’re not like any of us are you?

    • SDGeoff3

      What are these “loved ones” of which you speak?

      • The Librarian

        Hmmm, I’m afraid to ask what you mean, but I think I know the answer. Many trans are abandoned or shunned by their families? :'(

        • SDGeoff3

          I’m thinking the De Vos bunch couldn’t possibly have any loved ones. They appear incapable of the very emotion.

          • The Librarian

            Ah, yes! Leave it to me to think of a worst case scenario.
            I really dislike those DeVos, etc., asshats. Rusty chainsaw votes!!!!

          • SDGeoff3

            ; )

  • Bill Diaz

    The references given for the accidents that have taken 17 lives recently were largely BS. One of the excuses given is how ‘busy’ the strait is where the most recent collision occurred, like that is a rational excuse. My own experience is infantry rather than anything naval, but our Navy has over a hundred years sailing these waters, including time of war, without suffering this frequency of events.

    The ‘inexperience’ of crews is no excuse either. There is a built in ‘institutional memory’ for every ship or unit consisting of NCO, warrant and commissioned officers. It is their job to train, monitor and supervise the enlisted component to prevent failures of process or training from harming the unit. The chain of command is the hierarchy of responsibility and in the case of the McCain and Fitzgerald, sequential failures were necessary for those collisions to occur.

    It is amazing to me that we have suffered 2 ‘mission kills’ of combat platforms because of failures in something that should be a core Naval competence. There are plenty of those veterans that tried to blame ‘PC culture’, ‘social engineering’, women, gays and Obama, but as someone who has kept close tabs on our military for my adult life, it looks like the failure is more systemic than specific to a ship or circumstance.

    2/505 PIR, H-Minus
    Have a great day!

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Once was an accident, twice signs of incompetence. We now have at least four of these (that they are telling us about), and that may not include near misses. There is something epidemically wrong with the systems, either as a design flaw or an intrusion by hackers. Why the fuck isn’t this at the top of our national security agenda? I think something is happening that causes the ships to loose maneuverability. The sailors are trying to maneuver and the ships computers are either not responding or are doing the opposite of the maneuver to go full ahead or give way, leaving the ship smack in the middle of a collision course.

      • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

        You can’t hack the eyes of lookouts with binoculars. Something stinks here.

        • OrdinaryJoe

          Ship computers are not working. They are yelling instructions from the bridge and the ship doesn’t respond. Or worse, they ship computers are signsling the position wrong on the navigation system of the tanker.

  • Changeling

    I’ve steered a 200 m coal ship as an apprentice officer. I had to take the test 5 times before I got my driver’s licence (for a car), and even I can’t imagine how anyone can crash a ship. Sure, it’s a busy place, but ships pass canals just fine. I can navigate the Danish straits.You can see other ships and their course on the radar for miles and miles. Also with your eyes. If you still don’t, they’ll hail you. The only reason I can think of is if both the officer and lookout on bridge (merchant ships need to always have both on the bridge, I would guess a navy ship would have even more people) are under-the-table drunk or asleep. US navy ships also get to use exact GPS coordinates,while they scramble them a little for others. I’d really like to know how these things happened.

    • Mike

      Never steered a ship but was on a couple during my stint in the navy…like you, I use don’t see how it’s possible to make contact with another ship…especially a commercial civilian ship.

  • JessD

    So conversely, all the bad storms, hurricanes and freaky climate change in weather in the Mid-west, and the South can be attributed to their people’s love and election of Donald Trump?

    • SKruetheratbassedarDs

      Well, not to worry. It’s a sure bet Faux will have at least one person on next week to blame Harvey on Obama . . . .

      • DarkSyn

        I thought Pat Robertson could divert hurricanes to protect xtians.

    • WhoCheckedRussia’sVoterID

      No you heathen libtard! The hurricane could have been much worse! So god…

  • Arthur Gane

    Reminds me of the old joke about a naval captain demanding a little he sees ahead of him get out of his way.
    The punch line is “This is a light house, you change course”
    What’s with the navy crashing more than Nascar.

  • Jay Silversmith

    “It’ll be fascinating to learn just how compromised he is in that investigation”….especially if they reveal that Eric The Butch likes a little butt action on the down low.

  • DarkSyn

    It’s the duty and responsibility of the Captain of the ship as well as the Officer of the Deck to make sure their ship doesn’t collide with another ship, Blaming anyone else is just political hyperbole.

    • cessnadriver

      They court martialed Glenn Brindle after his ship was hit by a missile while he was asleep.

      • DarkSyn

        Captain Brindle aboard the USS Stark guided missile frigate was responsible for the ship regardless. It’s odd to me if he was in his rack asleep why the OOD wasn’t charged as well.

  • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

    There’s also radar, which should display all nearby ships. Seriously, I keep asking myself, “How the hell do you even do that?”

    • BearLeft

      Don’tcha know? The gaydar fucks up the radar signals.

  • JayGoldenBeach

    There is no good reason to have all the ID signal and position-alerting equipment turned off since being recognised as a US warship makes for more effective menacing.

    • cessnadriver

      What happened to “The Greatest Deterrent Force the World has Ever Known”?

  • E.A. Blair

    “Instead, he’s commenting on why we’ve tragically lost sailors in two major ship collisions in two months. (It’s actually four this year. That is a LOT!)”

    In other words, since Trump got elected.

  • Begin Anew Day

    The first three words of the headline were all you needed.

    Everything else was gilding the lily.

  • Sakonyachen

    Good lord! I can’t for the life of me figure out why anyone could think that gays would be a distraction on a ship in this age. Maybe in the 80’s when people thought they had airborne HIV breath, but most people don’t care enough about other’s bedroom antics anymore to be a distraction. I guess if the gays were running a train on a new sailor on the flight deck it could be a bit of a distraction, but I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t happen. Maybe the Transgenders are swapping genitals on the fore deck. My guess is no since that requires surgery and anesthesia, which would complicate their duties. It’s just so silly that we don’t have a camp to put people that stupid in for a while as they learn that the year is 2017, and not 1957.

  • Teto85

    Walking bag of wet, dripping shit says what?

  • BearDeLaOursistance

    What is WRONG with you, Erik? Like I’d EVER do anything to stop something that’s long, hard, and full of seamen?!?

  • BFD

    It is pretty obvious the problem here is that with a defense budget of a mere $600 billion a year, there is just not enough left over after buying ships and planes that don’t work to train our navy personnel to steer their ships.

  • nobleknight2

    Obviously likes it up the butt!!

  • harryeagar

    My father was an officer on a destroyer in the Pacific during World War Ii and his ship had no port calls for 30 months. Many ships did the same. So boo-freakin’-hoo about the deployments.

  • Moar Wordz

    That family embraces the idea that advances in education are detrimental for everyone. They really mean detrimental to core conservative values.

  • cessnadriver

    Queeg steaming over his own tow line.

  • Wes

    $10 says Eric Prince secretly has the homolust and is a bottom. People who rail against it that hard (and that stupid) definitely have something to hide.

    • Michael Rappaport

      So is he a brave boy or a whiner? Pillowbiter or weeper?

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