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Nobody likes you, everybody hates you …

Resistance to Donald Trump and his sucky terribleness is breaking out all over, in the form of hilarious resignation letters! Daniel Kammen, a State Department envoy for science, resigned his post Wednesday, citing Trump’s disgusting white-supremacist-enabling response to Charlottesville. And he did it with a SECRET MESSAGE!

You see what he did there? He spelled out I-M-P-E-A-C-H in the first letter of each paragraph! He told CNN he was inspired by the resignation letter written by ALL THE MEMBERS of The President’s Committee on the Arts and the Humanities, which employed a similar tricky dicky:

You see what they did there? They spelled R-E-S-I-S-T!

So, who did it better? On one hand, Kammen’s word “impeach” is longer than “resist,” which means he had to do an extra paragraph. Also, that he capped it off by starting with “Herein” is just inspired.

On the other hand, the Arts and Humanities theater kids had the idea first.

(There was another “fuck off” letter delivered to Trump on Wednesday, signed by four Jewish organizations, canceling a yearly call with rabbis and the president, over Trump’s piss-poor response to Charlottesville. It is very awesome and you should read it, but it’s not included in this contest because A) the rabbis aren’t resigning from anything and B) they did not spell a secret message, unless they meant for their letter to spell T-I-T-T, in which case they automatically win this contest by one hundred miles.)

Before you vote on best letter, Wonkette would like to have a try:

Frankly, Donald, we think you should fuck off.

Under Article 25, it says if your president is a total fuck-bonkers from hell, the vice president and those generals swarming around your unhinged ass are allowed to remove you.

Could they plz do that like tomorrow?

K thanks.

Of course, we’d still have to contend with Mike Pence as our president but

Fuck it, we guess we can survive that. It’s not like it would be a full

Four years of him. Anyway, go eat dicks in jail.

Love,

Wonkette

(YOU SEE WHAT WE DID THERE? WASN’T IT BRILLIANT? Talk about how brilliant it was, and try your own hand at it, in the comments of this, which are not allowed.)

Wonkette salaries are fully paid by loving souls like you! If you love us, click below to fund us!

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  • OutOfOrbit

    that stuff makes head hurt, like math test but with aphabits :(

  • DerrickWildcat

    LOL, nerds.

  • Msgr_MΩment
    • Royal Ugly Alt-Leftist

      Rob Ford was a paragon of civility and class, compared to the shitgibbon.

  • RYSONTBFUCKOFFLW?

    • OutOfOrbit

      ain’t even gonna try that

  • rocktonsam

    Did eclipse face respond in crayon…”I know you are but what am I? “

  • Bill D. Burger

    [Who Told Trump To Fuck Off The Best? A Scientific Wonkette Poll!]

    Ima’ give it to Jennifer Lawrence…..cause she’s right, she’s gorgeous and she’s talented.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUy1BvVUagA

    • kaydenpat

      Go girl!! That’s one p*ssy he won’t be grabbing.

  • Painter of Goats

    For
    As you already
    Know
    Everyone with a brain
    Points
    Out
    That Trump had almost 3 million votes
    Under what Hillary had.
    Sad.

  • dslindc

    One assumes that if the person has gone to the Tom Cotton School of Letter Writing, they would end up professing their love for Trump and the first letter of the paragraphs in the letter would spell out I-A-M-A-I-D-I-O-T.

  • Joe Beese

    The tree of liberty must be watered with acrostics.

    • Ill-Advised

      Word searches libelz1111!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Like Donald has any ability to detect this. You practically have to hit him over the head with a confederate statue to get his attention.

  • Vincent Ricola

    Predisent
    Ugly
    Sleezbag
    Scumsucker
    You
    Gained
    Republican
    Adoration
    By
    Bargaining with
    Each
    Russian oligarch in which you knew from your previous money laundering schemes

  • schmannity

    Science and arts? Who needs that?

    –MAGA moron

    • wide_stance_hubby

      I feel inferior and don’t know what to say around those people, so they don’t matter.

  • kaydenpat

    We shouldn’t assume that Pence won’t go down with Trump. He has dirty hands — especially in regards to his poor betting of Flynn.

    • cmd resistor

      I keep hoping they are visibly dirty enough that he goes, as well.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        I like to think that Indiana is going to find something bigly illegal about his Carrier scheme.

        • cmd resistor

          That would work. I still think his “clean” look on the whole Russia thing is Fake and a Ruse.

        • foiled again

          Indiana’s WaterCarrier scheme.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      With Trump or on Trump? Pence has never said anything about being alone with other men.

      • kaydenpat

        **snort**

    • Ill-Advised

      But can we safely assume he will? I feel like the Cheshire Cat; except of the six impossible things I believe before breakfast, three are my hopes, three are my fears.

  • dslindc

    Please
    Exit the
    Executive branch right now.
    Tweet, “I Resign”
    And
    Piss off
    Expeditiously.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      WSWYDT

  • cmd resistor

    No one seems to know what the beautiful letter from Clapper is all about.

  • Scooby

    Here is the cover of Stern magazine this month. Sein Kampf!
    http://thehill.com/sites/default/files/trump.stern_.jpg

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The Germans: masters of “been there, done that.”

      • Scooby

        Exactly, and in Germany imagery like this is not taken lightly.

    • OutOfOrbit

      what mean “sein kampf”?

      • eka

        his fight/struggle. sein (in this context) = his

        • OutOfOrbit

          thx

      • Scooby

        ‘His Struggle’ ‘ it’s a parody of Hitler’s book Mein Kampf.

  • Ricky Gay

    Today is the day.
    I think we can do this.
    No one can stop us!
    Yes we can!
    Please join us because…
    Everyone is welcome!
    None shall be turned away.
    It will be great to have a chorus say:
    So long Donald Trump!!!
    !

  • Bill D. Burger

    Anagram for “The Trump Administration”: The putrid and sad militant moron

    Boom! Not poetry, but dammit’ I worked really hard on it.

  • Jenny

    F
    U
    C
    K

    O
    F
    F

    Did I win????

  • Nounverb911
  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    For the past year, I have endured …
    Under your grotesque mismanagement…
    Contrary to what you pull out of your ass…
    Knowing what we know now, you would lose bigly …
    Your impulsive behavior and decisions are an embarrassment…
    Our nation deserves much better….
    United is part of our name; act like it matters to you …

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Because of your continued
    Attacks on our country
    Tantamount to treason
    Someone has to tell you what a
    Hump you are being.
    If you don’t resign
    There will be hell to pay
    Cuz I’ve had about enough of this shit
    Regarding your deranged
    And
    Zonked out behavior.
    Yours in Christ, Blobby

    • dslindc

      “Yours in Christ” is a nice touch! 👌

    • nothingisamiss

      “Yours in Christ” is transcendent.

  • Wolf Tracker

    Since Trump reads at a 3rd grade level these big worded resignation letters are way over his head.

    A simple “Fuck You Trump!” letter might get his attention.

  • Beowoof14

    I have to admit, that I appreciate anyone who tells Trump to fuck off. At this point I am enjoying the fuck off Trump competition.

  • Nounverb911
  • TJ Barke

    Our society has become so passive aggressive…

  • Bill D. Burger

    [Who Told Trump To Fuck Off The Best? A Scientific Wonkette Poll!]

    This guy! And every day the message is louder and clearer.
    ~miss him so~

    https://media.giphy.com/media/zGFqBiwPVZHgI/giphy.gif

    • wide_stance_hubby

      I am having impure thoughts. Right. Now.

  • I’m fond of this classic technique:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3SemYQH-8o

    • OrG

      He’s lying. He’s heard that A LOT.

  • Mpeg

    Mind. BLOWN.

  • jesterpunk

    Be careful if you are marching or protesting.

    https://www.cbsnews.com/news/protesters-injured-by-car-in-st-louis-intersection/

    Marchers protesting the fatal police shooting of a transgender woman were injured by a car as they blocked an intersection Wednesday night – and there were differing accounts of how it happened. Police said the driver is under arrest.

    The march followed a vigil attended by more than 100 people honoring the woman, 30-year-old Kenneth “Kiwi” Herring.

    According to St. Louis city police, some vigil attendees marched from the Transgender Memorial to an intersection and blocked traffic in all directions.

    “A vehicle approached, stopped, honked its horn and attempted to drive around the protesters,” the police statement says. “The protesters surrounded the vehicle and began striking it with their hands and a flag pole. Several protesters also kicked and jumped on top of the vehicle. The driver of the vehicle … proceeded to drive away when three protesters … fell from the vehicle.”

    The three protesters reported minor injuries but refused medical attention, the statement continued.

    “Police attempted to stop driver of vehicle who initially refused to stop. He stopped about a block away from the incident and was taken into custody for felony fleeing,” the statement adds.

    But the St. Louis Post-Dispatch quotes a witness identified as Keith Rose as saying the driver had his middle fingers raised before accelerating through the group.

    The newspaper says Rose, who was in the group of protesters, said the driver stopped for a few seconds “before accelerating gradually and driving into the group. Rose said that a protester was thrown over the hood of the car by the impact and others were hit by the car.”

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      “”A vehicle approached, stopped, honked its horn and attempted to drive around the protesters,” the police statement says. “The protesters surrounded the vehicle and began striking it with their hands and a flag pole. Several protesters also kicked and jumped on top of the vehicle. The driver of the vehicle … proceeded to drive away when three protesters … fell from the vehicle.””

      Goddamit, if this is true, NOT HELPING PROTESTORS.

      • jesterpunk

        There seems to be some confusion too, the police report says one thing and the witness says something different. But as we saw with Charlottesville they will try and make the driver seem innocent. But your right if the police reports are true and they attacked the driver first that really isnt helping any.

        • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

          ayup, I’m inclined to withhold judgment till I see the video (which of course is something the right wing never does, but whatevs).

          • puredog

            Waiting for the facts? Quaint! Adorbs!

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        The St. Louis Dispatch has video. A bunch of people running to surround a stopped car (at about 29:30) probably isn’t going to engender a ton of sympathy.

        • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

          true…but what about the slapping and striking the car bits?

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            Couldn’t see it. Crowd surrounding the car was in the way.

  • Michael Smith

    Anyone remember that storyline in 30 Rock where Jack has to go work for the Bush Administration? He gets there and the ceilings are leaking, and they have 10,000 pen caps but no pens so they have to write with rocks or something.

    With the Bush Administration, that was a comedic exaggeration intending to spoof that crew’s ineptitude and carelessness. With the Trump administration, that would basically be a documentary.

    • Jenny

      I’m not even joking when I say my work was like that. The government wasn’t keeping up with the buildings…10 years of absolute neglect in a building filled with several thousand people = disaster.

      We had few working lights, mold growing in literally every possible place, several floods, leaking windows, broken tiles, bed bugs in the carpets and cubicles. The works. Supplies? Ha! I bought my own or waited for vendor days to pick up free samples.

      One of the legislators was elected to run one of the offices. He walked in, went holy shit, and harassed his former lawmaking buddies for money.

      The building is not a complete shithole now! It is slowly being remodeled. And sometimes we even have working pens!

      I can’t imagine what the Trump Dump will do to the federal government. It will no doubt be worse than the 30 Rock episode.

      • Andrea Karim

        Holy crap, really? Is this federal? I know my sister has seen some sad offices for state and city governments in her career.

    • foiled again

      I’m at the point now where I would consider having a beer with the man, which is fuckin’ terrifying.

      • SisterArtemis

        Nah, I understand this one. The beer-swilling George (who presumably would be drinking non-alcoholic beer) would be the part of him that is relatable. The rest of his schtick, not so much. Also, Harold and Kumar and joint-smoking.
        https://i.ytimg.com/vi/tcm3fnKPg6Q/maxresdefault.jpg

        • foiled again

          Thanks, I needed that. I’m having an extraordinarily bad day, and it has nothing to do with politics.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      More like a propaganda film for how well the Trump Administration is doing.

    • Andrea Karim

      Cooter Burger.

  • Bill D. Burger

    [Who Told Trump To Fuck Off The Best? A Scientific Wonkette Poll!]

    Laa Laa!

    https://media.giphy.com/media/l2JJnBQHmwjXVb0GY/giphy.gif

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Does anyone else here think Dolt 45 lost interest after reading his own name at the top of the letter?

    • “M”

      That’s why they embedded the anagram in the text for the rest of us.

      They knew that was going to happen.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Carefully reviewing the news of the past 9 months, I note that you
    lost the popular vote by nearly 3 million ballots;
    in light of this and your
    numerous failures I contest
    that you should resign, effective immediately, the
    office of the president. And I mean
    now.

    We the people are sick of the
    onerous weight that your constant
    need for affirmation has inflicted on us.

    Not the lead of each paragraph, but I excuse it on the grounds of poetic license.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Like a sonnet!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Serai 1

      I’m sick of these polls. Every time they trumpet LOWEST EVER and every time it’s up or down or whatever. 2 weeks ago, we were told it was the LOWEST EVER and it was 33%. Now 39% is the LOWEST EVER. Didn’t we just hear it had dipped below 30% the other day?

      • Ill-Advised

        I’m with you. They keep moving the goalposts. I no longer listen; the numbers mean nothing except 1 out of every 3 Americans think he’s just fine, and 27% will never think anything else. Polls are for slow news days.

  • Mavenmaven

    The Rabbis did use the word “succor” though.

    • Nockular cavity

      No succor. No succor. You’re the succor!

      • Mavenmaven

        His followers certainly are.

        • Permit-holder Ron

          Ba dum tish!

    • SeeTrain65

      “Is succor here by any chance?”

  • Jgb979

    Get
    gEt
    geT
    Fucked
    fUcked
    fuCked
    fucKed
    fuckEd
    fuckeD

    Would be my only I quit letter
    I wonder if he would get the hint?

    • Mpeg

      I like it. Especially when tilting my head \sideways\

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Brilliant!

  • Great
    Opportunity
    For the
    Understanding,
    Compassion, and
    Kindness
    You have removed from the
    Office of the
    US President, to be
    Reestablished once again, knowing the importance of
    Solidarity and
    Empathy in our
    Leaders and
    Foreign allies.

  • Baconzgood

    It’s so Poe. I doubt the Don ever under stood Poe.

    But it’s still nice that us literary types get the joke

    • Andrea Karim

      I was instructed last night to yell at you to go to the doctor. Someone else has probably done it already.

      • SisterArtemis

        Very bad yelling, Andrea. Try again.

        And Baconz, I don’t know why you would need to, but DAMMIT GO TO THE DOCTOR!!!!!1!!11!!!!!!1!!!!

  • lucidamente

    Literature nerds (you know who you are) will enjoy the last paragraph of Nabokov’s “The Vane Sisters,” where the first letter of every word forms an acrostic:

    I could isolate, consciously, little. Everything seemed blurred, yellow-clouded, yielding nothing tangible. Her inept acrostics, maudlin evasions, theopathies– every recollection formed ripples of mysterious meaning. Everything seemed yellowly blurred, illusive, lost.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      “Everything seemed yellowly blurred, illusive, lost.” Much like Nabokov’s prose stylings.

  • BigCSouthside

    Every letter to trump should end with “eat dicks in jail”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Himalayan sea salted rat dicks.

      • susan_g

        Will ketchup be included?

  • Wolf Tracker

    Representative Tom Cole of Oklahoma, a Republican who chairs a House Appropriations subcommittee, said shutting down the government was very “unwise” and such a move could backfire on the party that controls power in Washington.

    “When you control the presidency, the Senate and the House, you’re shutting down the government that you’re running. I don’t think it’s smart politically and I don’t think it would succeed practically,” he told Reuters in an interview.

    Gee ya think?

    • Ghenghis McCann

      ‘Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings’
      Psalms 8:2

      • bupkus231

        When the KJV Psalms referred to “sucklings”, I don’t think they envisioned cock-sucking Republicans like Cole….

        • Permit-holder Ron

          Ew.
          – David ben Jesse, professional shepherd

    • Edith Prickly

      Perhaps they should not have let a pathological egomaniac who doesn’t know or care how politics work and has no loyalty to their party run away with the nomination then steal the election. But that’s just me.

    • SweetDeeKat

      Well then. Tell Cheeto he can’t do it, and let the fireworks begin.

    • kareemachan

      Another forceful denunciation of drumpster’s plan….

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Permit-holder Ron

      That is so spot-on it’s painful.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    Roses are red, violets are blue, if you voted for Trump, then fuck you.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Yes that’s right, Sheriff Arpaio. No one in America is above the law, not even slimy, authoritarian, racist reptiles like yourself:
    https://twitter.com/FoxNews/status/900551246892982274

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Speak for yourself, asshole. I’ve never willfully disobeyed a judicial order, so they’re not coming after me.

      • stubbornirishlass

        I’d like further information on your pointed use of “willfully” here, please. It sounds interesting.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      And, ‘Sheriff’ Joe, your point is?

    • PubOption

      Which sounds like an admission that he considers himself above the law.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        He’s wrong. REALLY wrong.
        – Judge Susan Bolton

    • Oblios_Cap

      Well, they can. If you break the law.

    • Serai 1

      Imagine the mindset of a person who thinks this is a BAD thing.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Looking forward to the day they actually catch you, sir.

    • mailman27

      No. Actually, no.

    • SeeTrain65

      If they can go after you, the system actually works sometimes.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Thank you for the opportunity to serve this country.
    I hoped that I would be able to continue in this position for years.
    Notwithstanding our significant policy differences, I held out hope.
    You dashed that hope by your ill -conceived actions.
    Had you simply done the decent thing, my resignation would be unnecessary.
    All you had to do was condemn nazis.
    Nazis! Are you fucking kidding me?
    Do you even realize how offensive your failure to do so is?
    Sayanora, shithead.

    • Winner. Winner. Chicken dinner!

      • Elainedpatel

        Google is paying 97$ per hour! work for few hours and have longer with friends & family!
        On tuesday I got a Smart new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        :!ap258:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobs548CashMediaPortal/GetPay$97/Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::!ap258l..,..

      • Faithrsanders

        Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family!!!
        On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        !yz375d:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash375BuzzSoft/GetPay$97/Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::!yz375z..,…..

  • dshwa

    As I said last night, I’m holding out for someone to spell sociopath.

    • Oblios_Cap

      I’d be happy with a “Bite Me”.

    • Ill-Advised

      Sir
      Only
      Clinton
      Is
      On
      Point
      At
      This
      Hour.

  • cmd resistor

    OT, and Barf. I went on Trump’s FB page to see if they had his schedule for the day. He had this comment along with his MAGA Rally Highlights Video: “Fake News doesn’t get it. We all know that this is a movement of LOVE – we are all on the same team, we are ALL Americans, and we are all united by our love of our great country!” As for his schedule (no times listed):
    Daily intelligence briefing
    Meeting with National Security Advisor H.R. McMaster
    Meeting with Director of Office of Management and Budget Mick Mulvaney and Office of Legislative Affairs

    • Andrea Karim

      I see that they don’t formally schedule his Twitter rants/toilet time.

      • cmd resistor

        Yeah, sometimes I check the schedule to anticipate when he might be taking a bathroom/twitter break.

      • Ill-Advised

        It’s hard to schedule inspiration. Or projectile vomiting.

    • laineypc

      LOL Trump has any idea what love is. “It’s a word I think I should say, people seem to like it.”

    • Permit-holder Ron

      Jesus Agamemnon Christ, I do more than that between getting out of bed and having breakfast. Then again, my TV-watching schedule isn’t as full as his.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Your Wonkette is kindly invited to write all of my future resignation letters. And missives to banks, cable companies and racist sister-in-laws also too.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      ‘But your emails!!!’

      • Ill-Advised

        To say nothing of his tweets!

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    I don’t understand how we would end up with Pence if Trump were to be removed under the 25th amendment. If he’s too crazy to do the presidenting, wouldn’t he also be too crazy to choose a veep?

    • h4rr4r

      No, why?

      Article 25 means he is believed to no longer be capable of being president. Note the “no longer”.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        There’s a possible defense for Trump… “I’m no fucking crazier now than when you dipshits elected me…” And he’d have a point…

        • Permit-holder Ron

          Nah, he is clearly crazier. Like, before he was just nuts, but now he’s about one mini-stroke away from frothing at the mouth and dropping trou on national TV.

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        It still doesn’t seem right. Then again, not much of this does, so there is that.

    • kareemachan

      Well, if they could reel him in on russky charges….

      And effing Ryan.

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        I’d like to believe that if we ended up with Ryan, he’d be so toothless at that point that it wouldn’t even matter.

    • hudson

      i’m hoping by the time all this is done, the entire cabal is unfit and there is a constitutional crisis and the minority leader is left to lead.

      that only seems just. all the aiding and abetting has to account for something, no?

      • FlownΩver

        Sec of Veterans Affairs is a Barry holdover, isn’t he? He could be the Designated Sane One.

    • If Trump exits via Amendment 25, Section 4, Pence becomes Acting President until (presumably) the next election. Or Trump formally resigns (not likely). Acting President Pence will then very likely choose an Acting Vice President, subject to Congressional approval.

      It’s all very weird; no one’s really thought this through all the way because they never expected it to really happen.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        I imagine that the Founding Fathers were incapable of believing that the nation could sink this low.

      • BillEGoatSmirk

        If he is removed by the VP and a majority of the Cabinet, Article 4 states that Donnie can tell the powers that be that he is perfectly capable of performing his duties and get his job back, unless the VP and the Cabinet (within 4 days) remove him again. Then Congress has to decide, and it will require a 2/3 vote of both the House and Senate to keep Trump’s grubby little paws out of the WH.

  • Oblios_Cap

    The Wonkette letter wins. Hands down.

  • Serai 1

    Who’s the Letter Writer?

  • Walther von der Vogelweide

    Dear Mr President,

    Despite my best attempts to persist in my position, regrettably I must submit my resignation.

    Ending a prestigious opportunity is never taken lightly.

    Please understand that I’ve given this much thought.

    Lingering in my current position, associated with your leadership, is something I cannot continue to do.

    Others may not feel the same, or they may feel there is still some good to be accomplished.

    Really, I think it’s a lost cause.

    Absolute resignation and unequivocally cutting ties to this administration is the only recourse.

    Bigotry, racism, and white supremacy must always be condemned in the strongest terms.

    Lying, to the degree with which you accomplish this feat, should never be tolerated.

    Espousing hatred and promoting violence in your office is beyond the pale.

    Sincerely,

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    Did the Rabbi’s sign their letter ‘Yours Truly’ because then TITTY.

    • puredog

      It’s already “TIT-T.” Rabbis are nothing if not subtle.

  • timpundit

    Fuck off, resign , shut up and eat a baboon-dick, you shrieking pig-lizard. I don’t have time for puzzle making.

    • hudson

      aint no one got no time for that.

    • BillEGoatSmirk

      Oh Tim. I was laughing so hard at that post that I scared the cat, and now he won’t shut up cuz’ he’s cranky when he gets woken up from one of his eleventy-seven naps. So thanks.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Make
    Acrostics
    Great
    Again

  • As always, I vote for TITTs.

  • Beautiful Soup

    Those are cool and all, but who will write the “covfefe” resignation letter?

  • SisterArtemis

    I haven’t even made it into the meat of the article, but that photo caption…
    Now I have Trump’s voice in my head, “…Only the best worms…”

  • Raan

    Each of us needs to resist in any way we can.
    Also, call your mother. She worries.
    This is a battle we can win.

    Should the Nazis continue their rat-fuckery, they’ll be dragged out into the light for all to see.
    However, we can’t let them drive the narrative.
    In time, their racism will fade from acceptability, and their ideology will crumble.
    To Donald Trump: Eat shit.

    • Hollandaise

      No matter how often it fades it never dies – constant vigilance.

    • CripesAmighty

      Shit. Too slow. Damn gainful employment.

  • CeeQ

    I think Trump told himself to fuck off the best – seeing as he retweeted a meme of himself as the moon eclipsing Obama as the sun this morning. Too stupid to realise he just insulted himself as a momentary darkness over a life giving orb of light.
    Never underestimate Trump’s ability to out dumb everyone else.

    • CindyinEncinitas
      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        Is this an analog for how far Trump will have to go before he finally admits he doesn’t have a goddamn clue what he’s doing and has totally fucked it all up?

        • CindyinEncinitas

          While it is analogous in my head, I think Lord Dampnut would never admit anything even resembling that, even from his post-trial apartment at Club Fed.

        • CeeQ

          He’ll never admit he was wrong.

        • laineypc

          He won’t admit it because he is incapable of grocking it or believing it.

    • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

      Truly. He is the dullest of all the tools.

    • puredog

      “. . . ̶a̶ ̶m̶o̶m̶e̶n̶t̶a̶r̶y̶ ̶d̶a̶r̶k̶n̶e̶s̶s̶ a dead, airless rock over a life giving orb of light.”
      There, FTFY

      • CeeQ

        All the up votes!

    • stubbornirishlass

      Also too taking credit for Obama’s accomplishments is analogous to the moon’s light being no more than a reflection from the sun.

  • WeaselPoo

    To D. Trump
    Fuck off
    Understand?
    Catch the Fuck Off Express to FuckOffville.
    Kayak over the FuckOff Falls, you fucking failure.
    Obviate your fucking up the nation by fucking the fuck off.
    Find Fuckoffstan on the fucking map, and then fuck right off there.
    Feel free to keep fucking off forever.

    • Teecha

      Kayak over the fuckoff falls is fucking brilliant.
      I heart you for this.

  • Please stop this.
    Someone should tell you.
    Your attempt at humor failed.
    Crazy presidents are a thing now.
    How did this scumbag get elected?
    OK I played your game.
    =
    My review is a quick one:
    Assholes and racists love the guy.
    Granted that’s a big chunk of America.
    America is full of ignorance and tribalism.

  • Yummy, but you’re hungry for Eastern European Hookers three hours later…
    http://freedomdawning.org/images/C40KUTSW8AYcD-n.jpg

    It’s OK to bring into the restroom

  • chortlingdingo

    Dear Donny,

    I know that you just want people to like you.

    People to recognize how great you are. How good you are at business. But there’s a fundamental problem here.

    See, you aren’t great. You aren’t likable. You are incompetent and mean. The entire world is laughing at you.

    However, there is something that you can do to fractionally redeem yourself.

    If you don’t want to suffer the humiliation of impeachment, just resign. Or better yet, come clean about all the shady shit you’ve been up to. Preferably drag the rest of your administration down with you.

    The thing is, you let this go too far. The presidency shines too bright a spotlight on all of your slimy, underhanded dealings. Honestly, you’d be better off getting out before Mueller brings down the hammer.

    Best,
    chortlingdingo

  • La forza del resistino

    Maybe Ivanka can mollify the people with a 40% off her shoes and handbags sale during Yom Kippur – a Let my people and everything must go sale..

  • KimKong

    No matter how often it fades it never dies – constant vigilance.

  • natoslug

    Cockgoblin Donald,
    Our entire godsdamned universe is tired of you and your stupid shit.
    Very, very tired.
    Fuck off, you orange raging shitgibbon.
    Everyone hates you.
    For reals, you worthless damned assmunch!
    Everyone!!!!111!!!!ONE!!!!!ELEBENTY!!!111!!!!!

    • mailman27

      Made me spit out my covfefe. 8/10

    • SeeTrain65

      America?
      Not
      Another
      Gilded
      Republican
      Assclown
      Manbaby

  • War-Lok

    No one seems to know what the beautiful letter from Clapper is all about.

  • F U C K O F F L W?! Who is LW?

    I’ll admit some of the Lwaxana Troi episodes can be a little tiring but I wouldn’t really go as far as telling her to fuck off.

    • SeeTrain65

      “Lil Wayne.”

      Apparently Evan’s not a hip hop fan. ; )

    • Lawrence Welk?

  • The Librarian

    Won’t mince words
    Hell hath no fury
    As a populace scorned
    Can’t you see that
    KKK are not fine people?

    Just in case this is
    Over your head, let me say
    Begone from us, we’ll never agree

  • gratuitous

    Donald, you’re a fucking disgrace.
    I can’t tell you how much I loathe you.
    A decent person in your position would resign.
    Frankly, you wouldn’t know that.

  • BearLeft

    I understand the PCAH is to be replaced by a venture more in the Preznit’s own image, the American State Service World Industries Protection Enterprise.

  • BrendaKay

    Kudos to Evan and all the witty non-comments! Bravo!

  • whitroth

    I say IMPEACH wins, on the basis of the old Reptilian thing from sportsball about the best defence is a good offence, and Trumpolini is *seriously* offensive to anyone who’s brighter than a 20W utility bulb.

  • Perhaps Don, you 2nd rate con man, you will resign in disgrace, blaming everyone for your ignoble failure.
    Everyone besides yourself and your sychophantic cable of greedy yes men of course.
    Everyone except who you should be blaming.
    There is a hope that I harbor:nay make that a feverent wish. In fact, make it a bucket list desire to superecede all others.
    And what is that wish? That you wait just one minute too long to scuttle off like the lily livered coward you are. That you miscalculate the sluggish wheels of justice just enough for them to bring charges.
    Perp walk of the century, your hideous jello like ass jiggling in orange like a sunday mold gone horribly wrong. We will all cheer that day.
    Every one of us.

    • phoenix00

      ISWYDT

    • Zyxomma

      A few misspellings a la Don (sycophantic, although I like your spelling), cabal not cable, a space after the colon, and supersede, not supercede. Still great.

  • handyhippie65

    uhhh, Fuck him in his Eyehole with a Donkey’s dick. trixies is hard.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    A guy on the high school newspaper staff used to write Shakespearean sonnets where the first letter of each line down told the principal to fuck off.

  • SeeTrain65

    Currently concocting a letter to the White House where the first initials to each paragraph spell out “ISN’T THERE A SUSPENSION BRIDGE GILDED IN GOLD LEAF YOU CAN GO SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE UNDER?”

    I’ll admit, it’s already getting pretty time-consuming.

  • cosmiccowgirl

    Kudos to everyone involved.

  • phoenix00

    The best fucker-off-er is the NEXT person who tells Trump to fuck off!

    • differentdrummer

      Or the LAST one, who turns off the lights!

  • phoenix00

    ME ME I WANNA TRY!

    Perhaps this note will find you in good stead
    Rather than prolonging your own suffering and the suffering of those around the world
    I call on you to maybe take a loooong break!
    Since this job is soooo stressful. So many golf vacations. So many rallies.
    Of course, there are other things you could attempt, alternative careers maybe you could try….
    Nah, just buzz off already. We’re tired of you.

    …. bleh too much passive-aggressive and not enough aggressive-aggressive.

  • Teto85

    Brilliant. Take my moneys!!!

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