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We survived the sunpocalypse, Wonketariat! Have some special doggo nice times and then take a look at some of the things we may be talking about today.

Trump says he wanted to “follow his instinct” and pull out of Afghanistan, but instead he’s increasing US forces and bitching at Not American countries throughout the region. Historically speaking, Trump never had much experience pulling out.

Since his return to Breitbart, Steve Bannon is already driving Trump’s base far from Fox & Friends, and last night he mashed the gas pedal, effectively throwing Trump under the bus.

Warhawks are elated about the prospect of Trump making boom booms in Afghanistan, but there’s caution on many sides after Trump refused to give any specifics.

Trump’s Interior Department doesn’t want to hear about mountaintop removal in Appalachia, so it’s stopped a review of the health risks related to coal mining. Good thing coal miners and communities near mines have never faced unique and deadly diseases!

Potential visa lottery winners may be screwed now that the State Department is intent on following Trump’s travel ban.

Paul Ryan is full of sadz about Trump’s comments on Charlottesville, and that’s all he’s got to say about that.

A new ABC News/WaPo poll finds that people really didn’t like Trump’s response to Charlottesville, and that (SHOCKINGLY) Americans really don’t like neo-Nazis. LOW RATINGS!

Idaho Republican Rep. Bryan Zollinger is only “suggesting that it is completely plausible” that Obama orchestrated Charlottesville. We’re not saying it’s true, but we’re suggesting it’s completely plausible that Bryan Zollinger was once caught with a puppet-wearing hooker and paid off a secret cabal of lizard people to keep it quiet.

New Jersey’s Democratic Sen. Bob Menendez has hired a lawyer who specializes in crooked politicians in an effort to cast doubt on an ALLEGED quid pro quo scheme. His lawyer’s current and past clients include Jared Kushner, Trump’s kids, Jack Abramoff, and John Edwards. Draw your own assumptions.

Aaron Davis, a Minneapolis lawyer, has been “You’re Fired” after a local paper ran a cover story about his side gig running a neo-Nazi record label. [h/t Raw Story]

The dad of the Steubenville, Ohio, rapist tried to kill Judge Joseph Bruzzese in what is believe to be retaliation for his kid being convicted of raping a 16-year-old girl in 2013. The father was shot and killed, and we’re not going to bother naming him.

Arizona Republican Gov. Doug Ducey is bailing on Trump’s rally tonight in Phoenix to oversee the handling of thousands of expected protesters and avoid being seen anywhere near Trump.

An outbreak of measles in Minnesota has brought out all the loons, but anti-vaxxers are determined to be the craziest Morans of all.

The Charolottesville City Council unanimously voted to begin the process necessary to remove Confederate statues, but not before a chaotic protest broke out and residents spent four hours criticizing city officials, who bailed out (save one, Vice Mayor Wes Bellamy) rather than face residents.

Vladimir Putin has appointed Anatoly Antonov as the new Russian ambassador to the US, and he’s such a loyal lapdog that one official once joked that he’s “more Catholic than the Pope.

Russian state propaganda news media is pissed about a story that details what it’s like to work in a Russian fake news farm.

Obama still beats Trump in the TV ratings game, which is really the only true metric of presidential success.

According to Univision, a lawsuit over an old Gawker-era Deadspin story profiling a grifty Vegas bookie is intended to scare journalists into bankruptcy. Good thing the plaintiff got Hulk Hogan’s attorney. [Archive]

A pro-Trump troll reappeared on Twitter yesterday, desperately hoping to get Trump’s attention so he can feel validated shitposting. Sad.

Breitbart is hemorrhaging advertisers while it continues to try and distance itself from yucky labels, like “alt-right” and “Nazis.”

Former CNN panelist Jeffrey Lord may get a job with Breitbart now that he’s too fuggo for even Fox News to put on TV.

The yuppie douchenozzles over at the Daily Caller think Barron Trump dresses too informally for a presidential kid, based on yesterday’s eclipse photos. Considering he’s 11 and has spent most of his life locked in a tower, and that his fast-food-stuffed father wears sloppy suits with tape on his absurdly long Not American ties, they may want to stick to fantasizing about Tucker Carlson in a puffy shirt.

Steve Mnuchin’s wife is bragging on social media about her extravagant lifestyle, but the two swear they’re not stealing money from taxpayers because they’re already fabulously wealthy. Bourgeois Barbie has since privatized her social media account.

Here’s your late night wrap-up! Conan O’Brien and Andy Richter took a look at the sun; The Daily Show and Roy Wood Jr. had some advice for millennial neo-Nazis.

And here’s your morning Nice Time! Dusky pademelons! They’re adorable wallabies from a remote region of Not America!

We get up early and stay up late for readers like you, so GIVE US YOUR MONEY! Please, k, thx bye!

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  • Nounverb911
  • BadKitty904
  • Nounverb911
  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    “Everyone says my Afganistan speech, which I totally wrote myself, was greatest ever given by a USA POTUS.” #DeletedTrumpTweets

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Not that I watched (why would any sane person?) but I assume Dumbass successfully read small, uncomplicated words off a TelePrompTer without add-libbing too much. So, by MSM standards, became truly presidential last night.

      • Oblios_Cap

        I’m surprised that the could read, what with his staring directly at the sun yesterday.

      • coozledad

        Don’t worry: He’ll shit in his hands and throw it at someone today. And then he’ll lose Maggie Haberman and Glenn Thrush again.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Aren’t miniature Kangaroo’s called Wallabies?

    • BadKitty904

      I wasn’t going to say that…

  • Michael R
  • Oblios_Cap

    Bob Menendez should have been locked up a long time ago.

    • therblig

      yep. typical hudson county sleaze could end up handing christie a gop replacement to the senate (until a special election). if his lawyers accomplish nothing else, they need to stretch out the trial until murphy is inaugurated in jan 2018.

  • Nounverb911
    • Permit-holder Ron

      I know I intend to. If I can figure out where it is behind this overcast.

  • BadKitty904

    Idaho Republican Rep. Bryan Zollinger is only “suggesting that it is completely plausible” that Obama orchestrated Charlottesville.

    It’s considerably more plausible that Idaho Republican Rep. Bryan Zollinger “orchestrated Charlottesville”.

  • JMP

    So is Brian Williams going to drone on again about how he loves to be “guided by the beauty of our weapons”, because he is a giant pro-war turd along with being a liar who is as much of a stain on MSNBC’s schedule as Chris Matthews?

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))
      • Ryan Denniston

        Hardball with Katie Tur (maybe a couple weeks ago) was pretty good.

    • PubOption

      But we’re not trying to take Manhattan or Berlin.

      Aside, any of the Trump women could have used “the drugs that keep you thin”.

      • Wild Cat

        Well, he has relatives in the fashion business, Mister!

    • Matthews is either talking over his panel or fapping to how Trump won…

      Time to give Joy the hour for #pmjoy

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))
  • Nounverb911
  • OddMan

    If you thought that Donald had any real “strategic thoughts” about Afghanistan here is a telling quote from the 202 this AM. Trump is willing to do anything as long as it makes HIM look better.

    “Trump’s private deliberations — detailed in interviews with more than a dozen senior administration officials and outside allies — revealed a president un-attached to any particular foreign-policy doctrine, but willing to be persuaded as long as he could be seen as a strong and decisive leader.

    • BadKitty904

      I’ve seen no evidence that Donnie’s ever had a thought, strategic or otherwise.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Explains his decision to look directly at the eclipse.

  • Nounverb911
    • Ryan Denniston

      What are you talking about. Trump’s a master negotiator. Why, look at how he brought Republicans and Democrats together on health care!

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Jared’s got it, so it’s cool.

  • Ryan Denniston

    “And here’s your morning Nice Time! Dusky pademelons! They’re adorable wallabies from a remote region of Not America!”

    No doubt they’ll be the first against the wall under Trump’s new “doctrine.” How many times did he mention his electoral vote count yesterday? The unemployment rate? Neil fucking Gorsich?

  • Oblios_Cap

    Obama still beats Trump in the TV ratings game

    Proving once again, Americans like the TV and their presidents to be in color. That’s got to sting for the Trumpster, since ratings are everything to that asshole.

    • BadKitty904

      I would expect no less of America’s last President.

    • coozledad

      I wish he could arrange to get TV time opposite Trump every time Trump delivers one of his garbage statements. Trump’s hindbrain would leak out of his ears.

  • therblig
    • BadKitty904

      So, she’s a Republican?

  • BadKitty904
    • Mr. Blobfish

      Say it again

  • coozledad

    Pence says he’s a “more monuments guy.” So Roxboro, NC needs to put up a monument to Ed Roach, and it should dwarf the statue they put up to shitpants white trash who fought for the McMansion crowd.

    NEGRO LYNCHED WAS INNOCENT OF CRIME SAYS HIS EMPLOYER

    Person County Mob Put to Death the Wrong Man, Local Contractor Asserts

    POSITIVE PROOF

    Nello Teer Issues a Statement Exonerating Ed. Roach of Assault on Girl

    WAS WORKING TUESDAY

    Another Employe [sic] of the Road Camp Gang Believed by Mr. Teer to Have Been Responsible—The Statement

    Ed. Roach, the negro who was lynched by a Person county mob last Wednesday morning, was the innocent victim of a ghastly mistake, according to a signed statement issued last night by Nello Teer, a local contractor for whom the negro worked. In his statement Mr. Teer declares that he is positive Roach could not have committed an assault upon the young Chambers girl Tuesday afternoon as at the hour the crime is reported to have taken place he was at work for him on a road construction project near Roxboro.

    In his statement, Mr. Teer makes it plain that he has divulged the information exonerating Roach in justice to the deceased negro.

    The statement made public by Mr. Teer reads as follows:

    “Editor Morning Herald:

    “I have just read your editorials on the lynching of Ed. Roach in Person county, and I feel I would be an unworthy citizen if I failed to state what I know about this matter.

    “When this negro was lynched as innocent a man was murdered as would have been had you or I been the victim of the mob. He was working for me and was a quiet, hard working, inoffensive to me and stated that he was sick and wanted to go with me to Durham that night to see a doctor. I greatly regret that I did not take him with me for I believe his life would have been spared, but instead I arranged for him to go Tuesday night. Roxboro. He continued at his work all day Tuesday until about 5:30 (bear in mind the crime for which he was lynched occurred between two and three o’clock that afternoon) when he asked permission of his foreman to stop and go to Mount Tersa station to catch the train for Roxboro. Permission was given him and he left for the station walking. At 5:45 he passed the state’s bridge crew (white men) and the two men who were out searching for the guilty negro saw him and followed him up the road to Mt. Tersa station where he sat down and waited for the train. These two men sat down on the railroad near him. When the train came he got on and paid his fare to Roxboro and got off the train there. He was not arrested until he got off the train. I am advised by the Chief of Police he asked what they had him for and told them he had not done anything, but he was not told until he got in jail what they had him for. He denied it and told the little girl when she was brought in that she was mistaken; he was not the man, so the sheriff informs me. He asked to be taken by my office to see my superintendent with whom I had arranged to carry him to the doctor but permission was refused him. He had been working for me off and on for two years and on this particular work since November 1st, 1919, and was in every way a straightforward inoffensive negro. His life has been taken for something he knew absolutely nothing about.

    “A negro man about Ed. Roach’s size came to my camp on Sunday night, was employed on Monday and went to work Tuesday morning. About 8:45 a. m. he drove my team out to the side of the road and had been gone about ?5 minutes when my foreman missed him. My foreman took out one of the mules and went to look for him, going up the road toward Mt. Tersa. The negro saw him and broke and ran over the east side of the railroad going towards Lynchburg. This was about 10:30 a. m. Tuesday morning in approximately three-quarters of a mile of the scene the place of the crime. This man was dressed practically the same as Ed. Roach with cap and overalls, was about the same size but a little darker in color. He was a strange negro that had never been in any of our camps before, and the circumstances would point to him as the guilty party.

    “I make this statement in the interest of truth and justice and with a full knowledge of the odium I am bringing down upon my own head in doing so, but with the hope that this fearful crime may shock our people as to make its like again an impossibility.

    “Nello L. Teer.”

    • Lance Thrustwell

      The word “negro” sounds so funny now, to modern ears. I can’t think of a context where anyone would seriously use it anymore – not even racists. It’s become permanently antique.

      • coozledad

        It’s literally a relic of a caste system, which is not itself a relic.

        • Oblios_Cap

          WHAT!?!? I was told everybody was equal.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Honestly, as a black a person, whenever some racist douche tries to throw out “Negro” or even “nigger”, a very significant part of me chuckles and goes, “Really?? You could at least come up with a 21st century slur, you basic yokel!” Not that it’s not offensive, just sadly unimaginative for folks who declare themselves the supreme race.

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5c77d6d639cffea4f85767e5af20253e2eeacad5a8f0f90bd48d3859825f498b.gif

        • BearGHAZI

          How do you feel about blackamoor?

    • gene108

      You see how badly the rights of white people have been eroded. They can no longer go around killing blacks because they may have committed a crime, without facing some form of legal repercussions.

      Edit: The scary thing is this is what the white supremacists want back. It is not hard to connect the dots. Looking at the crazy fucking levels of support George Zimmerman got for murdering Trayvon Martin, I think a lot of white folks may not object as much as we hope.

    • bupkus231

      One wonders if Mr. Teer’s statement was ever made public at the time – and, if so, Mr. Teer was subsequently ostracized as a [REDACTED] afterwards….

      • coozledad

        He caught some shit for it, but it was also instrumental in the state beginning to clamp down on judicial silence and nonprosecution of mob organizers and participants.

        But I can tell you that the people who formed that mob are no fucking different from the white trash power structure in Person County today. The fuckwits in charge are the grandchildren and great grandchildren of those murderers, and their predominant genetic stamp far outweighs their ability to escape it.

  • Nounverb911
  • La forza del resistino

    Footage of Ducey, Flake and McCain skipping the Phoenix Trumpalapalozza to braid each other’s hair is a scene I support, but not watch, ever.

    • BadKitty904

      Republican Pols Bravely Hide from Republican-Organized Rally of Nazi-Republicans

      • AuntyMaude

        To be fair, if they are hiding in say a rat-infested sewer or a spider-ridden crawl space, then that does require a certain amount of courageliness.

        • BadKitty904

          I’d think they’d feel right at home.

  • VirginiaWackelpudding

    So can you order Pandemelon seeds or only get the ripe ones in stores? I need several grazing in the yard for added cuteness and would like to grow my own.

  • BigCSouthside

    On Barron: I think he should dress more informally. He’s a fuckin kid. I honestly hate seeing him in suits all the time. I’m 30 and I fucking hate suits. I can’t imagine how an 11 year old feels

    On Mnuchin’s wife: oh honey, you do know you’d be a failed realtor in a Tampa suburb or something like that if you didn’t find a rich guy who’s bank account you could attach yourself to like a tick. I really love how she talks about how much “they” have contributed to the economy like she has any impact on that. Also, if by “contributed to the economy” you mean “was an active participant in nearly destroying it” I agree with you.

    • h4rr4r

      She is pretty and would have found another rich man if she had not found this one.

      The result will be the same in 15 years or so.

      I wonder how many more miles Melon has on her before she gets traded in on a new model.

      • BigCSouthside

        Apparently her family is wealthy. So she’s basically Ivanka trump. Born in 3rd and thinks she hit a home run

    • bupkus231

      Her idea of “contributing to the economy” involves her personal spending – which, as a percentage of GDP is something like 0.0000000000007% ( POOMA )

      So significant….

      [ Jeez, even POOMA, I had to come a couple of times to add zeroes ]

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I think – and I include myself in this – that there are only a few essential professions: doctor/nurse/midwife, farmer, carpenter, plumber, weaver, tailor, cook, teacher, printer, scientist, artist. People who work in finance or other luxury/consumption-based professions need to STFU about how “productive” they are.

  • OneYieldRegular

    There’s already one meteor crater in Arizona. This would be a good evening for a second one.

  • Nounverb911
    • BadKitty904

      Has the media pointed out that little fact?

      • Oblios_Cap

        You’re so cute.

        • BadKitty904

          Yeah, I thought so…

  • TheGrandWazoo2
    • arglebargle

      It’ll work this time fer sure.

      • Oblios_Cap

        What’s that definition of insanity, again?

        • AuntyMaude

          Donald Trump. He’s become the new shorter version of “trying the same thing over and over and expecting dif. result.”

    • Latverian Diplomat

      When does that graph transition to the Paramount logo?

  • OddMan

    Speaking of Wallabies, little known fact, a colony of brush-tailed rock wallabies was established in the Kalihi Valley on Oahu, Hawaii years ago. When I used to live there we would go and try to see them. They still live there.

    • BadKitty904

      Do they have visas?

      • OddMan

        They hide them in their bush tails.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Behold, The Master Race.

    https://i.redd.it/8aesn0e7pwgz.jpg

    • BadKitty904

      Proud veteran of the Battle of Krispy Kremes…

    • Oblios_Cap

      I guess not all women love a man in uniform.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Sad loser is sad. Also, kicked out of college.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Since he was in Xtian college, he won’t be missing a whole heck of a lot of education.

    • Permit-holder Ron

      ‘They said I’d meet girls here. They didn’t say HOW.’

      • I think his plan was to club them over the head with the flag and take his cavewomen spoils back to his Xanadu. (Note this post is not condoning either of these actions, but the neolithic references for this neanderthal were an attempt at snark failing)

        • Permit-holder Ron

          No, I think you succeeded quite well.

    • Left Coast Tom

      From some dude on Twitter, done in a Ken Burns style:

      https://twitter.com/Reetae27/status/899018562647375872

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Wow. Trump said “fuck you” to the health concerns of people in W. Virginia coal country. Who could’ve seen that coming? I bet his approval rating there went up another 5%.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Now the coal companies can mine profitably again.

      • arglebargle

        using robots.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          What robot ever filed a claim about a “disease” or “injury?”

          • msanthropesmr

            Bender, likely.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            He did insist on getting off work for Robanukuh and Robonzaa.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            Error code: 347 — Human caught in gearbox. Consult repair manual.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Increase power…

        • YoBunnyBunny

          Weird, I was just listening to someone say that those high wages will only decimate jobs for those folks who flip burgers because the owners will just use robots. I guess that logic does not apply to jobs in “Real America”.

    • BadKitty904

      Votes have consequences.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        If they don’t give a fuck about their own well-being, I’m not sure how much we should.

        • BadKitty904

          I know exactly how much I do.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          It’s exhausting trying to care about people who seem not to give a flying fuck about themselves.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            When your right to be a bigot is more important than your own health….yes.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      West Virginians will always have Trump’s back unless he outlaws Mountain Dew.

      • Fun fact. Mountain Dew, originally slang for something or other, was created as a chaser for moonshine.

        • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

          Hey, I LIKE Mountain Dew! It’s better than that atrocity they pass off as Texas’ favorite soft drink, Dr. Pepper (blecch).

  • Rick Hill
    • therblig

      rapture ready index at 180. anything over 160 = “fasten your seatbelts”, which seems odd to me since don’t you want to be unrestrained when the rapture hits?

      anyway – false christs at 3, antichrist at 5, liberalism at 5, and mark of the beast a 4.

      woo-hoo!

      http://www.raptureready.com/rapture-ready-index/

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2745213f7d02b0be2ee676d22e4f814b42ada72a48acac8d80849cd8b22d6cb5.jpg

      • Rick Hill

        I love how they claim the false church will be what helps usher in the anti christ and yet, if it’s true, they don’t realize that they are the false church. What with the way they twist the gospel and christ’s teachings to be one of hatred and control.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “Turns out, Obama couldn’t do anything right, including being the antichrist.”
        — A conservative eschatologist

      • Grumpy Twat

        Rapture Ready
        “Behold, I come quickly”

        Have these people got a better sense of humour than I had been led to suspect?

  • BigCSouthside

    Trump
    WONT: tell Americans how many troops will be involved in a surge in America’s forever war
    WILL: pass the most secret intelligence possible to Russians in the Oval Office

    • mackafritz

      To be fair, he has no clue about what to do in Afghanistan.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        But it’ll be bigly better than Obama’s failed policies, which Trump is maintaining.

      • msanthropesmr

        To be fair, no one knows what to do in Afghanistan. The British proved that as did the Soviets as did Bush as did Obama.

        • Wasn’t Tom Hanks some civilian genius or something. They did a documentary about how he saved Afghans from the Taliban. Why doesn’t Turnip call him to be his special envoy on Afghanistan.

        • Oblios_Cap

          If only Dravot hadn’t bled. Then Afghanistan would now be a peaceful kingdom.

      • gene108

        Nobody does…

        The shit is complicated

  • Nounverb911
  • msanthropesmr

    Will Breitbart attacking Cheeto Benito make a difference in his support?

    • Mr. Blobfish

      It will hasten the looming civil war within the party

      • msanthropesmr

        Will it? I have been thinking that some thing will be the cause of that, but nothing keeps happening.

        • Mr. Blobfish

          When they primary trump in 2020, there will be war.

          • msanthropesmr

            Will it happen? Or will they be so craven as to tail down and support the orange bastard?

        • Marceline

          Wait until the economy tanks. As it always does when Repubs are in control.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        A “War of Northern Aggression” within the party, you mean. :)

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Trump asserted his first instinct — the one he says is always right — was to withdraw from Afghanistan. Then he babbled about how Obama abruptly pulled out of Iraq* which created ISIS. So he decided to stay to honor the soldiers who died there … an honor his instincts told him to sacrifice.
    _______________________________________
    * In actual reality, that’s not even close to what happened

    • mackafritz

      Honor the soldiers who died there by having more soldiers die there.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        It’s so they’ll have more company in the afterlife.

    • Oblios_Cap

      What a pile of shit on every level.

      • bupkus231

        That doesn’t include his attempt to take credit for the liberation of Mosul from ISIS – an Iraqi effort that was started while Obama was President, and which Rump criticized heavily both before his election and after – the mutha thinks everybody has forgotten….

        • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

          His base HAS forgotten, and forgives him for anything. Because not-blah. And not-vagina.

  • Everrett Fanuelli
  • Mr. Blobfish

    Leave the poor kid alone, you bow-tied twits.

    • msanthropesmr

      The irony of receiving sartorial advice from the sartorially challenged.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Those comments, if said by a liberal, would have sparked a total explosive poutrage by conservatives.

    • arglebargle

      The kid looks depressed to me. And I somewhat know whereof I speak. Leave him alone. He hates his life, IMHO.

      • Canned Covfefe

        If nothing else he looks like a not uncommonly sullen 11 yr old.

  • Nounverb911

    Aunt Crabby found this little tidbit…
    https://twitter.com/DearAuntCrabby/status/899787688215158784

    • PubOption

      I assume that was an official militia, not a poorly-regulated gaggle of gun-humpers.

    • Timothy Watson

      A note about the image: C-Ville writes, “Margaret O’Bryant, librarian for the Albemarle Charlottesville Historical Society disputes the notion [that the headdresses in the photo are Klan members], explaining that the large number of billowy white objects in the crowd are not KKK robes, but are instead part of the tall caps called ‘shakos’ worn by one of the Virginia state militia units in attendance: the Richmond Light Infantry Blues.”

      • Oblios_Cap
        • therblig

          yup. anyone’s who’s been in marching band knows what a shako looks like.

          • Oblios_Cap

            My father went to the The Citadel and they had to march around in those all of the time.

          • SayItWithWookies

            Klan robes?

          • Oblios_Cap

            They might have. He didn’t mention that.

        • bupkus231

          I saw a Getty Images photo of a Richmond Light Infantry Blues captain wearing their ceremonial shako ( with a white plume ), but I can’t find an “embeddable image” I can use for free.

          Link: http://www.gettyimages.com/photos/richmond-light-infantry-blues

          Aunt Crabby’s pic seems to have a helluva lot more white than the Getty image can account for…

      • therblig

        bull.fucking.shit

      • MynameisBlarney

        Oh for fucks sake.

      • BigCSouthside

        Having worn shakos, those are not shakos

        • Canned Covfefe

          Quick research… Richmond LI Blues did wear shakos with white plumes.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Fine people on many sides.

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    I don’t recall past presidents needing to be heralded as “presidential.” Before Orange Madness, it was simply assumed.

  • Nounverb911
    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Her use of the “blow kiss” emoji really puts me into a rage.

      • chortlingdingo

        She’s really got condescending down pat, doesn’t she?

    • Dutchman

      That is way too perfect. Unfortunately, there’s not a soul in this administration that would have a clue who Isadora Duncan was.

  • Just as a note, big boned fellows need longer ties because otherwise our the ties goes only up the mids of our bellies. Stop by any dept store and see they have normal ties and extra slong ties.

    • PubOption

      Please check your spelling. I’m not sure if you intended to put ‘long’ or ‘schlong’?

      • armed_bears

        why not both?

    • guppy06

      Regardless, if you can wipe your own choad with your tie while wearing it, it’s too long.

      • Johnatx

        Multi-tasking.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    In case you wonder why Dumbass has renewed interest in Afghanistan: https://twitter.com/thehill/status/899990318195650560

    • Ryan Denniston

      What, an 8 is worth fighting for, but not a bunch of 4s?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      If we could take Afghanistan back to the 1970s, they would be better off, but we have know way to do that. All the support we gave to Islamic reactionaries in 1980s destroyed all that.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Quick! Someone show him a pic of nurses in mini skirts so we can save healthcare!

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg
    • Lance Thrustwell

      I guess those are “miniskirts” by Afghani standards.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      It’s not like he was going to read Kipling.

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        True, but he does like the title of that one story: “The Man Who Would Be King”.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    You could tell it was eating at him that the soldiers didn’t cheer and applaud his every utterance last night. What’s the point of having the greatest military the world has ever know if they won’t stroke your fragile ego?

    • BigCSouthside

      I reallllllly hate when politicians use soldiers as props

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        What do you mean? Trump has a Purple Heart. He always wanted one.

        • Wouldn’t that be indicative of hypertension or some cardiac disease…

      • Worse is using them the score some revenge on a guy who said bad things about the President’s daddy…

      • Rags

        Or the entire CIA

    • mancityRed6

      I’ll stroke my own ego, thanks.
      wait

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Just don’t do it in front of kids!

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “I blame the officers, for not issuing the proper orders.”
      — John Kelly

    • Rick Hill

      He’s really going go off at the Phoenix rally. Got to get his fix, the junkie

  • La forza del resistino

    Was there just another eclipse or was this recent blackout caused by my vodka infused breakfast omelet?

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Canned clam descendant John Podhoretz made a semi-humorous tweet about Trump’s speech…

    Today was the day Paul Wolfowitz became President.

    • Oblios_Cap

      THAT MONSTER!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I’m gonna start a band that plays nothing but animal video soundtracks.

  • chortlingdingo

    I didn’t realize that Barron was only 11. He’s super tall! I always feel glad for him when he’s out in casual clothes, because a suit on a kid always looks a little strange.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Good news: He got to go outdoors in normal clothes.

      Bad news: He had to watch his fucking moron of a father staring up at the sun with his naked eyes.

      • chortlingdingo

        Poor kid. I’d never want to be part of that family, oodles of money or not.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          It’s tragic. That photo of him in a suit, perched atop the $10,000 FAO Scwartz stuffed lion, with little toy stretch limos on the floor; he looks miserably unhappy. Poor kid is probably never allowed to play with friends, get dirty, go fishing, just be a kid.

          • cmd resistor

            Yeah, he would have had fun at the Alternate Universe Obama WHite House Eclipse Party.

      • ariel_gee_398

        That probably wasn’t even the stupidest thing he saw Donnie do that day.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          “What do you think would happen if I stuck this fork in the electrical outlet?”

      • Mr. Blobfish

        After, Dad went inside and crazy glued his hands together.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Hey, I crazy glued my hand to my knee one time? Do you think I should run for president?

          • lowenufc

            Yes. You are far more qualified to be president than 2 scoops because… well, no one has time to list the reasons.

          • Mr. Blobfish

            I’d say you’re overqualified.

      • eastcoastlib

        Whenever I see him, I think of the Elton John song.

        “And Jesus,he wants to go to Venus, leave Levon far behind. Take a balloon and go sailing, as Levon slowly dies”

    • BadKitty904

      Makes you wonder who his father is.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Bitter. I’m not bitter. My pH has gone past bitter into caustic territory.”
    — Alternate universe Steve Bannon, who is able to make chemistry jokes

  • Johnatx

    Time to recycle a saying we used about Nixon during the Vietnam War.
    “Trump, don’t make the same mistake your father did. Pull out now”

    • The Wanderer

      A perennial winner.

    • Me not sure

      ” Dick Nixon, before he dicks you.”

      • Eileen Besse

        CLASSIC.

    • Bozilingus

      “Nixon was the one in ’68,
      He’ll be a bigger one in ’72.”

  • PubOption

    There used to be feral wallabies around Buxton in the UK, after some escaped from a private collection in the 1940’s. They might now have died out.

    • Me not sure

      Done in during the blitz? Damn nazis.

  • Mavenmaven

    The Republican fascination with little boys, again?

    • OutOfOrbit

      little boys & butt sex always fascinate the gop

  • SomeBigRedDog

    My trips to the store to buy dog treats rarely goes that smoothly. But then I’m usually the biggest dog in the store which means all the asshole dogs gotta come try and give me shit and every now and then I gotta enforce.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Regarding doggos, do not take pugs shopping. They are all genetically predisposed to behave like this: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WIZk2JD-0rs

      • OutOfOrbit

        smug pug indeed

      • SomeBigRedDog

        I’m not convinced that’s a dog.

        • Mr. Blobfish

          There is a tiny speck of wolf left in there.

          • SomeBigRedDog

            Hmmm, I’d have to sniff it to be sure.

      • OutOfOrbit

        smug pug mug?

      • Oblios_Cap

        Does that pug have a knife?

      • Me not sure

        God, that looks familiar.

    • OutOfOrbit

      there were times when some punk would, “So you think you’re a tough guy,” to Lee Marvin … he would then mop the floor with them

      • SomeBigRedDog

        Like that one time the Pomeranian wouldn’t leave me alone so I had to pin it to the floor with my mouth. I wasn’t biting it. Merely incapacitating it while waiting for its mom to come deal with it. But everyone got all upset for some reason.

    • Oblios_Cap

      That, and having to mark your territory throughout the store.

      • SomeBigRedDog

        Naw, that’s what the gross boy dogs do.

  • WeaselPoo

    WashPo accounting of Trump’s lies and contradictions as President hit 1,000.

    • Christopher Story

      1lie is a tragedy
      1,000 lies is a statistic

    • BadKitty904

      Does he get a prize? Maybe some criminal charges?

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Does that include the campaign?

      • WeaselPoo

        Some contradictions refer to campaign statements but does NOT include his campaign lies.

    • AuntyMaude

      That seems low.

  • Crystalclear12

    Well, thank gawd that warhawk, Clinton, was kept out of office.

    • Persistent Demme

      Yes, I’d like to thank all the good citizens and the media for helping us dodge that bullet!

    • “Trump is REALLY a dove, it’s just he’s being ARM-TWISTED by the Deep State into doing precisely the opposite”

      – people like Glenn Greenwald, right now

  • Oblios_Cap

    Paul Ryan is full of sadz about Trump’s comments on Charlottesville

    Wisconsin must be so proud to have such a profile in courage representing them.

    • The Wanderer

      Sweet Jesus in Jodhpurs . . .

    • BadKitty904

      Paul Ryan is certainly full of something…

      • The Wanderer

        As full of shit as a Christmas turkey?

        • BadKitty904

          For starters.

  • AuntyMaude

    Prediction: Trump’s “presidential” libarry will consist of his golf score cards and menus from KFC, Taco Bell and his many, many wonderful (the best!) property restaurants.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Or the Playboy centerfolds from every month of his presidency, arranged from least hot to most hot.

      • AuntyMaude

        I think that wing will be added later.

      • Phoenixdoglover

        Provided the pages can be unstuck.

    • BadKitty904

      And fake Time magazine covers.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Kiri the Unicorn

      How many statues of Buddha do we have in this country, in public parks and such?

      http://www.japan-guide.com/g2/3100_01.jpg

      Maybe she means Hindu statues?

      http://www.ancient.eu/uploads/images/1194.jpg?v=1485680412

      How many of those do we have on public property?

      • guppy06

        More importantly, are statues of Confederates now religious icons?

        • From Russia With A Permit

          No, they are Carl Icahns.

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          Apparently so.

    • guppy06

      I particularly like the pregnant pause in “gonna take down… their statues” of MLK.

  • While Melania stole great lines from Michelle Obama, it seems 45 is lifting the worse lines from George W Bush.

  • TJ Barke
    • On a side note, those pictures from the weddings, Mommy Pense seems very, very out of place. However, it paints a much more humanizing view of Pense himself – married for “love” rather than the trophies everyone else is marrying.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Have you given more to the economy than me and my husband?

      You only married him in June, asshole. Marrying Scrooge McDuck doesn’t make you a Captain of Fucking Industry, Ma’am.

      • TJ Barke

        And he’s just a fucking financial parasite anyway, so fuck off bitch.

      • TundraGrifter

        Not to mention fuzzing the meaning of the word “given.”

      • SomeBigRedDog

        Also, “given money to the economy”?

        What a fucking philanthropist!

        • Msgr_MΩment

          This is why we need to replace all the fallen Confederate statues with statues of Gordon Gekko, philanthropist.

          • TJ Barke

            Greed is God.

      • From Russia With A Permit

        A whole bunch of volunteers kept you out of the Army, motherfucker. Quite a few of them paid more than you have.

    • SeeTrain65
  • Msgr_MΩment

    April 8, 2024. We will be smack dab in the middle of the path of totality this time, muthafuckas!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a49b4ff4a4df4c17a9ce128c6aa051a2c69d3ff8f30b64eb6b1b929a2637b8d1.jpg

    • Rick Hill

      Apri? It’ll be overcast and raining….clearing an hour after the event.

      • WeaselPoo

        Assuming climate change is a chinese hoax of course.

      • Crystalclear12

        I would be more worried about the nuclear fallout from the Trump administration.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Iowasux…again

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Even the Moon doesn’t consider it flyoverworthy.

    • The Wanderer

      Excellent! I can go visit the Trinity Site in NM on the same week.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Nerd road trip!

        • The Wanderer

          Damn straight! Trinity’s only open to the public the first week of April and September. I have open plans for a Vegas vacation that includes Trinity and Hoover Dam as side trips.

    • Wild Cat

      Hopefully I’ll be alive, solvent, and living in a rational country very far away from this loony bin by then . . .

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Hey! I live in Hot Springs! Eclipse slumber party!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Wonketabago funn times!!

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Mt. Ida was my childhood home. Hi neighbor!

        • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

          Heya, neighbor! Though knowing Arkansas, we’re probably also kin. :P

          • george lastrapes

            Tracing family trees for the inbred: Incestry.com.

          • Jeffery Campbell

            LOL, yes, probably cousins at the farthest!

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Enjoy it!

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      The people of Carbondale, IL have it very lucky. They were in the path of totality yesterday, and will be again in 2024.

      Lucky for me, I can go just a couple of hours away to see the totality in 2024!

    • Me not sure

      If Trump hasn’the killed us all before then.

    • rosenbomb

      It’s so funny…everyone in Idaho was freaking out about all the out-of-towners coming in to see the eclipse. As far as I know, nothing major happened besides traffic.

      So, if you’re in the path of totality and you live in a semi rural place, everyone is going to freak out. Tell them to relax.

      • The Wanderer

        Tell them to flock to their churches and pray for deliverance. That’ll clear the streets so you can watch the eclipse in peace.

    • Bozilingus

      After enjoying 8 years of tRump’s reign of terror, will there be any Americans left to watch?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The only catch: April. Good chance of clouds. Sucks.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Um…did you NOT know that Obama was secret founder of the Nazi/KKK/White Supremacists wing of America? SOMEONE isn’t paying attention to her conspiracy gossip (“Someone” is very smart.)

      • MynameisBlarney

        Who’s “her”?

  • Crystalclear12

    Bannon, chef for the angry, old white cannibals party.
    Bon appetite.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Trump To Make Boom Booms In Not America His Pants.

  • Rick Hill

    The corona is clearly visible at the moment of totality
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aADb810_700b.jpg

    • The Wanderer

      Super Saiyan Kitty!

      • Kathleendimberling

        Square95f

        Google is paying 97$ per hour! work for few hours and have longer with friends & family!
        On tuesday I got a Smart new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        !ai245d:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobs535CashBuzzSquare/GetPay$97/Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::!ai245l..,..

    • SomeBigRedDog

      Gah!

  • Rick Hill

    Last ellipse post. Now, get back to snark!
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/a4GEX9p_700b.jpg

  • memzilla Ω
  • Baconzgood

    “HERE COMES MY YOOOOUGE ANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT MY PLAN TO WIN A WAR THAT HAS BEEN ON FOR ALMOST 2 DECADES IN A LAND THAT EVEN ALEXANDER THE GREAT COULDN’T CONQUEST…..but I won’t tell you.”

    -Don (do really expect us to believe you anymore?) Trump.-

    • Msgr_MΩment

      One weird trick.

      • Baconzgood

        I wish Penn & Teller still had that show called “Bull Shit”.

        • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

          Not much use for their Libertoonianism, but they have a good act.

    • From Russia With A Permit

      Republicans usually have a secret plan to win the war, but after the election they just bomb the shit out of whoever we are fighting. It never works.

    • Me not sure

      Nuclear combat toe to toe with the Pakistanis? I was expecting Korea. CRISS-CROSS!

      • Baconzgood

        This is what happens when you have a dude that knows nothing about electric install your fuse box.

        • TJ Barke

          Well steam is better than digital…

      • OutOfOrbit

        is that like scissoring?

        • Me not sure

          If piles of smoldering ashes is like scissoring, then yes.

    • The Wanderer

      Armies don’t learn by precept. They learn by experience. We’ve proven ourselves to be more pigheaded than the Red Army by now.

    • bupkus231

      At this point, anytime anyone talks about Rump’s – or any other Republican’s, for that matter – “credibility” being called into question, I will laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh…..

    • SpideySenser

      Me thinks this is all a ploy to get everyone OK with privatizing then hiring the Blackwater goons.

      • Baconzgood

        The army would never let that happen. They won’t give up power to mercenaries. The military is pretty powerful. I hear they own a lot of Jeeps with machine guns mounted on them.

        • SpideySenser

          I think they have bombs and stuff, also, too. And grenades!

    • kareemachan

      This has a whiff of the great plans drumpster had during the campaign that never were explained.

      And look how well all of them turned out.

  • Mr. Blobfish
    • OutOfOrbit

      wood that be Irish coffee on the rocks?

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Too early. Need to study first.

        • Bozilingus

          “Irish whisky is good for the brain.” – Paddy O’Furniture

    • cmd resistor

      Cute coffee cup.

  • eastcoastlib

    “but the two swear they’re not stealing money from taxpayers because they’re already fabulously wealthy. ”

    Taxpayers made them fabulously wealthy.

    http://time.com/money/4639480/steve-mnuchin-treasury-secretary-foreclosures-onewest/

  • Jeffery Campbell

    I might (might) forgive Mrs. Mnuchin for being an entitled dope, but I cannot forgive her atrocious grammar.

    • The Wanderer

      She should be forced to dangle from her participles!

      • OutOfOrbit

        such a painful display of sham

        • WeaselPoo

          Wow!

      • President in Exile Firefly

        And her modifiers!

  • ZangoCrudmonger

    Interesting subject for the rapist’s father shooting a judge unrelated to the case for a mention. Most here would expect the victim’s father to be the shooter of the RAPIST.

    Yet here, the rapist’s father is shooting a random judge. Because why? Not really making much of a case for his son’s innocence, should it exist, there daddy.

    • Bobathonic

      I read elsewhere that he had appeared before that judge himself. Sounds like maybe more to the story.

      • ZangoCrudmonger

        Eeeep. Time to go dig about. Until then, Nu Shooz! (edit to put in vid without opening ad)
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZ5d6EXIOHE

      • The judge the father tried to shoot was from a case unrelated to the rape.

        • cmd resistor

          I read something that the guy in the car with the dead shooter said the dead shooter had told him he had to be in court that morning. No more details, though.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Willem Defoe Cosplayer gets all verklempt and goes all hyperbolic after paypal gives her and the rest of the fuckin’ nazis the fuckin’ boot…

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/08/like-pre-war-germany-islamaphobe-pam-geller-throws-a-fit-after-paypal-boots-her-in-white-supremacist-purge/

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Just like pre-war Germany. When the alt-left confiscates her home, business and bank account, give me a call.

  • The yuppie douchenozzles over at the Daily Caller think Barron Trump dresses too informally for a presidential kid, based on yesterday’s eclipse photos.

    And they can go fuck themselves. I feel sorry for the kid. Let him wear whatever the fuck he wants to wear.

    • Bobathonic

      When will they critique the fashion plate running the joint?

    • kareemachan

      And what kid would want to wear $420 loafers and no socks. Come on, Melanoma, let him wear sneakers or flip-flops.

  • Belasaurius

    Settle a debate. Who was that guy who led Germany back in the 1930s? Kinda looked like Chaplin. Fuck, what is his name? If only there were a statue of him somewhere. ….

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Doenitz?

      • OutOfOrbit

        i resemble that remark

      • Me not sure

        Just before him.

      • WeaselPoo

        Duncan Doenitz?

        • SeeTrain65

          Not worth the trip.

      • President in Exile Firefly

        Bismarck? (Which is a subset of donut…)

    • Baconzgood

      Wonkbot?

      (God I miss Wonkbot)

    • Rick Hill

      Oscar Meyer? No, that’s too Jewish….

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      Hermann Boring. Which is the real reason nobody remembers…whatsisname.

    • Bobathonic

      Einstein?

    • SeeTrain65
  • TJ Barke

    Hey, Steve Mnuchin’s wife, cuz I don’t care what your name is and neither will history, try looking up Marie Antoinette.

    • Me not sure

      Her place in hell only has clothes from a thrift store and food from a soup kitchen. ….Oh, and it’s still fucking hot.

      • dlemex

        And will probably share a bunkbed with Ms. Marcos… so nary a shoe to be had.

        • bupkus231

          Imelda Marcos is not dead ( yet )…

          • dlemex

            Really, well damn, I guess it proves only the good die young. Seriously I did not know that… it seemed like a couple lifetimes ago.

          • bupkus231

            Yeah – I was surprised to find that out just recently ( which is why I had to post that )

        • Me not sure

          Hot bitch on bitch action from the bowels of hades.

    • Louise was in ‘Cabin Fever’ the 2016 remake and one episode of CSI: NY.

      respect people.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Blobfish predicts: trump will resign when the Secret Service goes bankrupt.

    • OutOfOrbit

      they already have and he’s still there…not paying the SS

      • Bobathonic

        Well come on, none of them have taken a bullet for him YET.

    • george lastrapes

      Erik Prince and the Mercers will provide the security.

  • Belasaurius

    oh damn, who was that guy that ruled Iraq before the US invaded? Had a mustache and a couple of jacksass kids (No, not Trump) and liked gassing people. There were a bunch of statues of him, but right after they were all taken down, I forgot his name.

    • WeaselPoo

      Those who repeat that those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it are doomed to repeat it and those who ignore the history of those who repeat that those who etc.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Bernardo O’Higgins?

      • SeeTrain65

        Historic win.

  • Proud Liberal

    Just think how different the world would be had we not gone to war with Afghanistan and Iraq? Bush set the world on fire and then went home to paint.

    • AuntyMaude

      Just think how different the world would be if Bushy hadn’t stolen the election from Gore.

      • Proud Liberal

        Indeed!

      • Villago Delenda Est

        We’d be worrying about the glaciers closing in on Boston, for one thing.

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    Trying to talk my brother out of fucking with colloidal silver. Just now read that the anti-vaxxers are very much pro-colloidal silver. Pretty much nails that one shut, I think…

  • MynameisBlarney

    NASA’s totally legit and not fake at all official image of the eclipse.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/BYCkcgBgEeg/?taken-by=masipopal

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I love how trump points up at the sun, like the rest of us wouldn’t know where the eclipse is.

    • President in Exile Firefly

      “The sun is in the sky above us. Many people don’t know that. Many, many people.”

      • Lord Jim

        “That’s something you won’t see reported by the fake news outlets, which are so unfair to me…”

    • Rick Hill

      “Is that it? ‘Cause I don’t know what Im’looking for.”

      • Ghenghis McCann

        ‘Hey, look. It’s more orange than me.’

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      He thought the pic would look good. For the Trumplodytes, he’s probably right. Look what it did to Tucker…

    • Serai 1

      Who knew eclipses were so complicated?

  • WeaselPoo

    Pam Geller booted from PayPal is “like pre-war Germany”. What has she got against road construction and gliding clubs?

    • The Wanderer

      Life was a cabaret back then!

      • Bozilingus

        Tomorrow belongs to her.

      • Rick Hill

        Old, Chum

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Pardon me while I count the fucks I have to give about Pam Geller’s problems.

      Well, that went fast!

    • Bobathonic

      Maybe she’s right, but has the sides reversed.

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      I swear, every time I’ve managed to completely forget that putzette, she opens her yap wide enough for the internet to remind me…

    • Carpe Vagenda

      What’s fun about that is that Pammy is a huge fan of Geert Wilders, who no doubt has a camp all picked out for her. But he hates muslims, so there’s that.

  • Ghenghis McCann

    UK’s ‘ONLY miniature kangaroos’? Fake News. There’s been a colony of red-necked wallabies on Inchconnachan Island in Loch Lomond since the 1920s.
    https://www.ordnancesurvey.co.uk/getoutside/guides/unexpected-wild-animals-in-britain-–-part-1/

    • thewalkindude

      Do they drive pickups with Confederate flags and watch NASCAR?

      • Ghenghis McCann

        People in the UK know little of this NASCAR of which you speak. I suspect the wallabies know less.

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          Lucky wallabies …

  • Rick Hill
  • Weird Fishes

    I could turn into a gleeful Breitbart reader yet, now that Bannon is outside the tent pissing in…

    • From Russia With A Permit

      Take one for the team.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Red Bird

      The sun is all :(:(:( and the moon is like :O and the earth is like :[

  • Tzipora Kaplan
    • Villago Delenda Est

      Fuck McFuckface?

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      And yet, it’s barely a blip on the radar. I wonder why.

    • You’re welcome.

    • Red Bird

      For the trauma the girl went through for the sake of sportsball, that’s the least he could do.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Donald is so stupid when he plays Risk, he doesn’t start from Australia.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Kamchatka!

      • Weird Fishes

        Yes, Kamchatka.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Actually, I don’t either. I start in South America. And yes, I normally win against a computer in a few rounds. It’s actually easier to then push through North America and Africa than it is to take over all of Russia.

      Dammit. Now I want to play. :-(

  • Proud Liberal

    This was all a way to distract from his tirade last week. Just like the VoteVet guy said, he could have tweeted this announcement and it would have had more impact.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    McCain, Graham, Corker, and Cotton are all completely on board with more war. Good to know none of them have concerns about the efficacy of ground combat in Afghanistan.

    • BearGHAZI

      You can’t blame Lindsey Graham. He stiffens with patriotic fervor to send dashing young gentlemen into situations that could prove valorous

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      My kids’ pediatrician has posted a sign that essentially says, “If you’re an anti-vaxxer, take that shit somewhere else.”

    • Persistent Demme

      When I went to the Women’s March in Sacramento, there was a loud anti-vaxxer there screaming at some CA medical official.
      Really, I thought.
      Trump has just been inaugurated, and all you can do is yell at this official!
      What an asshole!
      (Luckily, the crowd of 10,000+, drowned her out.)

      • Serai 1

        I’d have walked up to him and shaken his hand, thanking him for the work he does.

        • kareemachan

          I’d have asked her if she wants her son to be sterile by contracting mumps later on in life.

          • Serai 1

            Nah, talking to anti-vaxxers is farting into the wind. Might as well try to convince a dog not to eat that mighty tasty catshit. I think I’d prefer to embarrass them by being better than they are.

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    Those patent law firms have no sense of humor. Who doesn’t enjoy a good Nazi song that rhymes “f*cking dyke”with “the glorious Third Reich.”?

  • HazooToo

    Breitbart lost a ton of followers before the Nazis started waving their flags, because they’re hateful and disgusting even without openly acknowledging their fascism. Distancing themselves won’t work, because it doesn’t matter how far you move a rotten piece of shit from the other rotten pieces of shit, it’s still a rotten piece of shit.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I can’t imagine who reads Breitbart “News” and thinks it’s real. I find it hard to believe anyone believes Fox “News” is real.

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        People who are constantly going on about, “fake news,” read Breitbart.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Good answer.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    I found a dog on the street who was an Australian Shepherd (like the dog in that video), and he was the smartest dog I’ve ever met. I thought about asking him to do my taxes. I ended up finding his owner, and returning him. I wish I hadn’t since the owner neglected him. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b56d8d4892ed9604fdfe00d3538260eb96263c731d5f3dea29fef429e347bbb2.jpg

    • Red Bird

      How od you know he wasn’t a runaway?

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    Too bad Trump’s father’s first instict was not to pull out.

  • Marion in Savannah

    Mini roos have many cutez.

  • AnniNoone

    Bannon turning his guns on 45. Evidence that most Americans don’t like neo-Nazis (sometimes it’s hard to tell). Attempted murderer/rapist’s dad fatally foiled. Breitbart bleeding. I don’t know what to do with this much good news at once.

  • Hmmm. It turns out that most Americans want Confederate statues for some and free American flags for others.

    http://mobile.reuters.com/article/amp/idUSKCN1B12EG

    • This, by the way, also might be one of the “cons” of resorting to violence to deal with people like this: the chance that it might convincethe public to be more apprehensive of you then of what you are protesting against.

      • Hollandaise

        Defending yourself/others from someone else’s violence isn’t “resorting” to it. Unless I missed a story where people who want to take this crap down started the violence (shit these days – it’s easy to miss a lot)…

      • Serai 1

        More like the media always jumping to yell THEY DO IT TOO, so people are making the mistake of BELIEVING this horseshit. So it really doesn’t matter WHAT we do – they’re going to believe bullshit no matter what. That’s why I have little patience for all the pussyfooting around about DUN GIVE THEM REAZONZ. They will ALWAYS find reasons, thus we need to STOP LETTING THEM DETERMINE WHAT WE DO.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    I got the Cville false flag bullhockey on FB from the fucking BernieBots.

    • Hollandaise

      Literally everyone has lost their goddamn minds over the last year and a half.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Well, he hasn’t exactly stepped forward to clarify his thoughts about the non-racism of the economically insecure. Although I imagine that crowd was right in the target zone for free college.

      • Serai 1

        I’m so sick of that fucking guy, I can’t even.

  • yyyaz

    Christ, Phx tv has some woman who claims she has driven all the way from El Paso with a “Deplorable Latina <3's Trump" sign, already on the streets with her deplorable homies. When asked about Dem. Representative Ruben Gallego calling Trump what he is, a racist, she replies, "Oh that's ridiculous." She also wants the wall built, bigly. Real or a plant? You decide.

    • Serai 1

      Real. That kind of Latina DEFINITELY exists. She wants to pull the ladder up behind her, and that’s not at all uncommon among Latinos.

      • yyyaz

        So just another Caitlyn Jenner type. How deplorable, how sad.

  • Persistent Demme

    Back in the day, my cohort in politics was suffering from Post-Polio Syndrome, (she had it as a little kid, and was a March-of-Dimes poster girl), and she STILL vaccinated her child!

  • Randy Riddle

    Alamance NC county commissioner says slaves were just “workers”. This is next door to Durham, where the Confederate statue was brought down by a protest recently.

    http://www.thetimesnews.com/news/20170821/actbac-to-commissioners-leave-monument-alone

    • efoveks

      Talk about historical revisionism!

      • Randy Riddle

        More like historical revulsionism.

  • Lord, we are still having “debates” about this?

    http://mobile.reuters.com/article/amp/idUSKCN1B12EG

  • Bitter Scribe

    I wonder if the coal miners who voted for Trump now realize that the “job-killing regulations” he vowed to do away with were the ones that protected their health and safety?

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      He’s counting on them having enough brain damage from lack of oxygen not to realize it.

      Hey, they voted for him, he could be right.

  • BeachBum

    Rant of the Day: So we kicked the Taliban out of the Afghan govt and they voted and set up a new govt. So we fight their war while this govt and army are being created. We fight their war while waiting for the people to support the govt and army. Meanwhile we build roads, schools, hospitals etc.,spend billions to modernize the country in the Western style. Now, we are going to continue doing this for no one knows how long until we “win.” Whatever that is. Good thing none of this is “nation building” or we might have to put in WalMarts and Starbucks too.
    “I will not send American boys halfway around the world to do what Asian boys should do for their own country.” Lyndon Johnson.
    Ok, I’m done for today. I think. Maybe.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Oh no you’re not. You will be back to snark about Phoenix in the Open Thread.

      • BeachBum

        Um, yeah, prolly so.

  • kareemachan
  • Khavrinen

    “New Jersey’s Democratic Sen. Bob Menendez has hired a lawyer who specializes in crooked politicians

    Wow, talk about a career with a LOT of job security…

  • SeeTrain65

    Historically speaking, Trump never had much experience pulling out.

    Genetically speaking, Trump never had much to put in.

  • Kathleendimberling

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