SHARE
It’s All Red Wedding, All the Time

Your Open Thread post is brought to you by this enigmatic tweet by Sarah Westwood, White House correspondent Washington Examiner …

… and also this thing from Ben Shapiro, who darkly intones that vengeance is his, saith Steve Bannonth!

What are we to make of this? Mostly, that somebody close to Bannon is more than just a tad melodramatic! And that apparently he intends to halve people, with a sword!

Now since we do not actually watch Game Of Thrones, because we’re either just too cool or just too lame, we’re having a hard time deciding which character in the HBO fantasy hit Steve Bannon most resembles. They don’t have any Uruk-hai, do they? Cause he’d be a good one of those, only one that’s read enough to act like he’s erudite. We’re pretty sure he’s not the hot dragon chick, and Peter Dinklage is too good an actor for Bannon to be anything like Tyrion Lannister (look, you don’t have to watch a show to know things about it), who we guess is sort of a noble guy, or at least has his moments?

He might be the Game of Thrones character “Littlefinger,” except that’s ridiculous, because his former boss is the one with the stubby little hands.

If Bannon resembles anyone in Game of Thrones, it’s clearly Baron Vladimir Harkonnen, the bloated schemer who has no scruples whatsoever in his quest to destroy House Atreides and control the spice that makes space travel possible. Plus, he’s got the right complexion. Bring in that floating fat man!

It may be a stretch, but perhaps Bannon is the Game of Thrones character J.R. Ewing, a scheming bastard who’ll stop at nothing in the pursuit of power. Plus, if Bannon ever got shot, just about everyone he ever met would be a suspect.

Bannon could definitely be the Game of Thrones character “The Joker,” who thrives on chaos for the hell of it, and just wants to watch the world burn.

Or perhaps he’s the Game of Thrones character Iago, who just does evil shit for no fucking reason at all.

Naw, we’re joshing you. If we have to stick to Game of Thrones, and Winter really is here, then it’s obvious who Bannon is: One of the Whites who got his Walking papers.

Please offer your suggestions for which Game of Thrones character Stephen K Bannon is. No need to limit yourself to characters actually in the show or the novels by J.R.R. Martin.

Or not, it’s your Open Thread!

Yr Wonkette is supported by readers like you. Please click the “Donate” linky — we won’t blow your money on HBO.

[Sarah Westwood on Twitter]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • FauxAntocles

    Kylo Ren?

  • Jennaratrix

    Jabba the Hutt. Obviously.

  • Thiazin Red
    • Baileyppfeffer

      yesterday I got a new Jaguar XJ after having earned $5816 this-past/five weeks and-also, 10k last munth . with-out a doubt this is my favourite-work Ive had . I actually started six months/ago and right away started to make more than $71 per-hour . ➤look at ➤this ➤link
      ➜➜➜http://www.GoogleFinancialCashJobs554MarketThink/Home/Wage….
      ▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲::::ah264

    • Michellehgil

      Image91b

      Google is paying 97$ per hour! work for few hours and have longer with friends & family!
      On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
      !ay101d:
      ➽➽
      ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobs391CashOfficeImage/GetPay$97/Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::!ay101l..,….

    • Marisawdunbar

      Click97h

      Google is paying 97$ per hour! work for few hours and have longer with friends & family!
      On tuesday I got a Smart new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
      !au187:
      ➽➽
      ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobs477CashGroupStudio/GetPay$97/Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::!au187..,…

  • weejee
    • Fancy Meau-Faux

      I played Game of Bones with a ladyfriend recently. It looked nothing like this.

      • grindstone

        Who won?

        • Fancy Meau-Faux

          If you are playing right everyone wins!

          • So it’s a liberal game then, where every kid gets a participation ribbon?

          • willi0000000

            children don’t get to play . . . but some of the adults get pearl necklaces as prizes.

          • Fancy Meau-Faux

            I’ve heard conservatives play as well, but usually the men go for immediate victory with total disregard to the others playing.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    I used to be obsessed with Dune. I played the video game on PC then I read the books (well, the first six volumes) when I was 13 and saw the movie years later. It was alright. It had a killer soundtrack though.
    https://youtu.be/xTIvjD0zjS4

    • kaydenpat

      The Sci-fi channel’s Dune series is great, imho. Have never watched the 1984 movie.

      • Thiazin Red

        If I said it featured Sting in a crazy codpiece would that make it more or less appealing?

        • Jamoche

          It’s a trap! You could make the same pitch only with Connery instead, but what you’d get is Zardoz.

        • kaydenpat

          Lol!! Sting is a great singer but can he act? Never seen him in any movies.

          • Lyly Sirivong

            The codpiece is the most important part of his performance.
            Honestly, Dune is the only movie I’ve seen him in and the kindest thing I can say about it is that it was unremarkable.

    • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

      Fear is the mind killer

  • kaydenpat

    Given how awful this regime is, I wouldn’t rejoice too hard at Bannon’s ouster. He’ll probably be replaced with someone just as loathsome.

    • Rick Hill

      That’s a given, at this point. Kelly’s been the only upgrade and he’s ineffective at best

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Well we can’t be sure that it wasn’t Kelly that pushed out Bannon can we?

    • k9feline

      Yeah, but it’s fun to indulge in a bit of schadenfreude over someone who so richly deserves it.

  • Rick Hill

    My bet is that Jared will be the first salvo that Bannon lets go at.

  • Catstro

    As loathsome and scheming as Littlefinger, but Littlefinger is impeccably groomed, so not him.

  • SweetDeeKat

    There’s some good oozy Dark Souls monsters, with multiple horrible eyes.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Which Game Of Thrones Character Is Steve Bannon? (Whichever Character Just Got Shitcanned)

    Drogon scat

  • DesertedPictures

    He is Ramsey Bolton right?

    Here is one of those horrible Ramsey moments… (not the worst by a long shot though)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=in0eB7N5pNM

    • Rohirim36

      Nah, Ramsey may be a psychopath, but at least he was competent in some ways. Bannon is just a bloated pile of racist garbage.

      • DesertedPictures

        With the exception of Joffrey most GOT characters (even the evil ones) are competent at something. it’s difficult to make comparisments.

      • Pisto75666

        Competent at what though, flaying and castration?

        • marxalot

          …what, you want someone who’ll botch that?

          • Pisto75666

            LMAO of course not. But I mean someone being called ‘competent’ (at least in GOT context) should be for something like ‘He’s competent in rallying the troops before battle’ or competent in war strategy. Shoot, Tywin Lannister was “competent” in killing animals and amassing a shit ton of money, doesn’t mean he was all that great a person.

      • Ill-Advised

        I have Paul Ryan as Ramsey Bolton.

  • ltmcdies

    If we’re going it’s King Joffrey “Ratface” Baratheon … a whiny sadistic ill informed little shit who had no concept of or talent for the job he wanted so badly
    I bet if we looked hard we’d also find Joffrey has a pee tape

    https://youtu.be/hRrV1ff33iM

  • Ezio
    • Holly

      I really miss Jon Stewart’s running Arby’s gag.

  • ForePlinger

    Fat Joffrey.

    • DesertedPictures

      Isn’t Trump Joffrey though? The inept King without a clue that is manipulated by all without him even realising it. (And the few times he does, he screws up royally…)

  • Latverian Diplomat

    The boastful leader of the Dothraki jerk squad that Dany burned alive in that temple?

    The slave master of Astapor who thought he could buy a dragon?

  • Thiazin Red

    Maybe hes king Robert, a fat drunk rapist who is terrible at ruling.

    • Panika MCD

      wouldn’t that be Tsarina Von Clownstick himself?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Was Robert a rapist? I recognize that having a King makes consent a tricky issue, but AFAIK he only had sex with women (including Cersei) who gave what passed for the feudal version of consetn.

      • Thiazin Red

        He absolutely raped Cersei multiple times.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          As I said, they were married, by feudal standards. Marital rape is definitely a thing, but it’s not even clear that Cersei withheld consent so much as playing along and avoiding impregnation in various ways.

          • Thiazin Red

            Just because marital rape was legal doesn’t make it not rape. She was very clear about the wedding night and other times that he forced her.

          • Pisto75666

            To be fair though, Robert WAS drunk a lot of the time when they did have sex. And he called Cersei ‘Lyanna’ at least once so, that consent thing seems a slippery slope IMO.

        • DesertedPictures

          Didn’t the book state that she was raped ones (on the wedding night) and kept him drunk at other times? (not that it matters; he was a fairly horrible person to Cersei and would have raped her more often if he was sober for it)

  • Panika MCD

    does Little Finger really have little fingers?

    • DesertedPictures

      Nope: he has inherited the smallest of five family estates. (Therefore he is called ‘Littlefinger’;)

      • Latverian Diplomat

        That’s the official story. I still suspect the real story is that he has a small dick.

  • marxalot

    I know a grizzled old seadog who often gets mistaken for George RR Martin at conventions. I’ll ask Capt Black (his real name) (not his real last rank with the USN) what he thinks of Bannon. It may not be literary, but I’m betting it’ll be unprintable!

  • Michael R

    Maybe Trump won’t resign , and everyone else will leave ,

    • We’ll build our OWN country! With black-jack! And hookers!

      • Not Flat – ROUND!

        lol
        but wasn’t it “With flapjacks! And hookers!”

        • Have you met Bender?

          • Not Flat – ROUND!

            Huge fan.
            On the moon I thought he said “flapjacks”
            Gonna have to pop that dvd in tonight and check.

          • Not Flat – ROUND!

            You are right it was blackjack, but I’m not the only one who heard flapjacks….

            It’s not letting me post the link for some reason.

  • OneYieldRegular

    I haven’t watched Game of Thrones, so I’m just going to have to go with a character I know from something else, you know, like Baron Harkonnen, or Bad Ronald, or Robert Mitchum’s character in Night of the Hunter, or the creature from The Legend of Boggy Creek.

    • Thiazin Red

      Maybe the redneck with one nipple always hanging out who leers at the college girls from Legend of Boggy Creek.

      • OneYieldRegular

        That one.

    • Not Flat – ROUND!

      How about – The Creature From the Black (Washington) Lagoon

    • Dudleydidwrong

      I second the nomination of Mitchum. Fiendish, evil, cunning, and gone.

      • OneYieldRegular

        “Leaning…leaning…”

  • Well, since Ailes was Jabba, I guess Bannon is… the Sarlacc Pit?

    • Opiwan

      Gamorrean Guard

  • janecita

    He is “The Mountain.” He probably smells like it too.

    • DesertedPictures

      The mountain is far to loyal to a woman in charge. A fairly evil woman but still…

      • janecita

        He is only loyal because he is a reanimated corpse.

        • DesertedPictures

          So is Bannon, and he isn’t loyal to anyone!

          • janecita

            Let’s hope so, I want him to go after Trump!

  • Ezio

    Now that Steve Dannon is gone, do you think Alex Jones will finally warm up to Chobani?

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      “Mama just ate Honey Boo Boo!”

  • Rohirim36

    He’s Robyn Arryn. Spoiled, incompetent and makes his way by suckling off of a teet.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Maybe Grima Wormtongue from Lord of the Rings? Only difference being that Trump didn’t start off as a worthwhile ruler before falling under his advisor’s malignant spell.

    • OutOfOrbit

      mee too thinks oh

  • DainBramage

    Bannon is the book character, Cleon the Butcher. After Daenerys destroyed the Masters of Astapor, she installed a council to rule it. Cleon riled the populace up against the council, killed them and installed himself as King. Of course, he fucked everything up after that and got himself good and killed, but Astapor totally hosed and was eventualy destroyed.

  • Electric Ukulele Land

    As bad as things are in Westeros, there aren’t any Nazis, no its hard to draw a parallel. Ice Zombies, sure, but Bannon’s not nearly that cool. There are the Sons of the Harpy in Essos, but reactionary as they are and as much as they want to re-establish the old order with slavery and what not, they’re basically rich assholes who are angry they’ve lost their privileged position in society.

    But I’m gonna go with Qyburn. He did resurrect the Mountain and create a monster. Plus he’s weird.

    • BloviateMe

      Qyburn believed in science though.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Well, mad science anyway. :)

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Game of whatevers, just glad the GOP Civil War came early this year.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Alt-Left HQ just ordered us to suspend the War on Christmas.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Dammit! I just ordered a locally grown, organic, artisanal War on Christmas Tree to be delivered on War on Christmas Eve on the backs of orphans.

  • BloviateMe

    Dok watches MLP but not GOT.

    (eye twitch)

    • alpacapunchbowl

      The writing on MLP is probably better than last season and the current season, to be fair.

    • CindyinEncinitas
    • doktorzoom

      You know, I wrote and deleted a line about Bannon as the Game of Thrones character Discord. Lives for chaos, can’t be controlled and smells like sour chocolate milk. But I’d never want to hear John DeLancie’s voice coming out of that face.

      • BloviateMe

        I’m going to need to google almost the entirety of that post.

  • Arcnor

    3800 refugees running from the US to Canada since August 1. 7000 since June 1. (CBC News)

    The number of asylum seekers tripled between June and July alone. (Independent.co.uk)

    The Canadian military is having to build refugee camps to house people fleeing the United States. (BBC News)

    The Olympic Stadium in Montreal is being used as a temporary shelter for asylum seekers fleeing the US. A STADIUM. (Montreal Gazette)

    People are running away from the United States. Given what I’ve seen in just the past week, I can hardly blame them. I hope we do right by them up here. Winter is coming, after all.

  • Trilobyte

    The Creature from the White Lagoon?

    • kaydenpat

      No insult to the Creature intended.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Since my dum-dum brain has been thinking about this…

    • OutOfOrbit

      have bag of dum-dums right here

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      I want a statue to Andrea Martin in every city in America.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        There’s going to be a lot of pedestal bases just sitting there, so…

      • bupkus231

        Whatever you do, don’t watch the current (?) NBC comedy, “Great News”, then – where Andrea has a major role.

        It’ll make you long for the days when she ( and the rest of SCTV ) wrote her(their) own stuff….

  • BloviateMe

    It’s not a perfect fit, but maybe Walter Frey.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      He does look like a man who likes his pie.

    • DesertedPictures

      Maybe one of the inept sons of Frey? One of the people he always complains about?

  • alpacapunchbowl

    I actually made the Littlefinger comparison to my coworkers when the news broke earlier. Jesus, I’m a fucking nerd. I don’t even give a shit about the show anymore, I’m just watching it because my roommate has people over to watch it, and at this point I may as well see how it ends.

    • rebecca

      this season is boring

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Bloody awful, innit?

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    I have Bannon’s official results from the Which Game of Thrones Character Are You? (For Real This Time, Not Like The 500 Other Quizzes You Have Taken And Not Gotten “obviously the hot Jaime Lannister who gets laid sometimes”).

    YOU ARE QYBURN: Although you work behind the scenes, you aren’t shy about wanting credit for your work. You buck the system, refusing to follow the rigid ethical rules like “don’t raise the dead and create a terrifying, derivative monster.” Ultimately, despite your best dramatic efforts to troll the opposition with heavy artillery, your giant arrows are mere irritants, and your tricks are impressive only to the narcissistic, unstable ruler you serve.

  • Winter is here

    Translation: Bring a crackpipe

    Really had to move…
    https://youtu.be/uzHUzTK2uuA

    Bertha don’t you come around here anymore

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    The real question is which character from Archie comix he is.

    • Pigpen?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Moose’s older, neo-nazi brother that no one ever talks about.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      The staple?

      • SayItWithWookies

        Silly – staples hold things together.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    I don’t watch GOT. Because no HBO. So what character in Jane Austen’s work would Bannon be? Mr. Collins? Mr. Elton?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      He would be whoever taught Wickham to be such a dick.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I believe that was Mr. Darcy the elder.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Unclear. It’s probable that Mr. Darcy spoiled him, but it’s not clear he was directly a bad influence. I was thinking probably some unmentioned pimp or other bad influence.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            That would make sense, really.

      • janecita

        He had syphilis, that’s why he was such a dick;-)

        • WomanInThePersistence

          What? Just curious, where did you find that?

          • janecita

            I made it up:-)

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Whew. I was very worried for Lydia.

    • Thiazin Red

      Wickham but without the ability to be charming.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Ooohhh….good call.

      • rebecca

        Pence is Wickham

        • WomanInThePersistence

          That implies that Pence has a sex life outside of marriage. Pence is Mr. Collins.

    • Zonath

      One of the zombies, probably.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Mrs. Bennett

      • SadDemInTex

        Mrs. Bennett was an idiot

        • CindyinEncinitas

          I liked her!

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Tbf, she was desperately trying to get her daughters married because otherwise they would be homeless. And yeah, she was an idiot.

        • Thiazin Red

          I’ll defend her. She knows that she and her daughters could all be out on the street in a moment’s notice, and her husband doesn’t seem to give one single shit about it. Finding a rich husband for one for the girls is one of the only ways available to make sure the rest are provided for. Spending money on things like new dresses and hats is essential for keeping up appearances.

          • janecita

            I agree, she didn’t want her daughters to be left destitute after Mr. Bennett’s death. She just lacked couth.

          • SadDemInTex

            Well said.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          Also greedy, self-absorbed, and unaware of how reviled/ridiculed she is among people with brains. Works for me.

    • SadDemInTex

      Austen ascribed to the idea that villains are often very attractive on the surface. As did Agatha Christie, she often likened villains to Lucifer, who after all was an angel. Jared is much more like a Jane Austen villain

    • CindyinEncinitas

      One of the gypsies who set upon poor Emma and Harriet as they were walking.

    • DainBramage

      Well, Trump is obviously Sir Walter Elliot, from Persuasion. Drove his family into bankruptcy, essentially, and incredibly vain.

      • SadDemInTex

        Bingo!!!!!

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I concur. So many mirrors!

    • SadDemInTex

      We Went To Jared is a Jane Austen villain.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Jane Austen is even more frustrating than GoT. I kept waiting for the dragons but they never came!

      • Trip Space-Parasite

        I think you want _Tooth and Claw_ by Jo Walton.

        • doktorzoom

          I really should learn to scroll down. But mine has a Wonkette kickback link!

          • Trip Space-Parasite

            Then yours is better! I couldn’t even do italics!

      • WomanInThePersistence

        You never met Mrs. Elton? Or Mrs. Churchill? Or Mr. Crawford?

      • rebecca

        you’ll love Pride and Prejudice and Zombies then

      • doktorzoom

        Clearly, you want to read Jo Walton’s Tooth and Claw, which isn’t Austen, but is basically Trollope’s Framley Parsonage with a cast of dragons. When the family patriarch dies, one of his children eats more than his allotted share of the body, and the social repercussions are dire.

        • marxalot

          Jo Walton is a goddamned treasure, and I’m basing this entirely on my experience sleeping on her floorspace and eating her brownies.

          • doktorzoom

            I’m still working through the classic SF list I made while reading Among Others

          • doktorzoom

            Now you’re just trying to make me jealous. And succeeding magnificently.

          • marxalot

            Friend of a friend, convention, needed somewhere to crash for a couple hours. My old roommate set up her most recent laptop, which is way closer a connection. I also used to regularly sleep in Ada Palmer’s house, back when it was in Texas.

        • puredog

          I gotta go with the Temeraire series.

          • doktorzoom

            Would you believe those started out as Patrick O’Brian fanfics?

    • janecita

      I don’t know about a Jane Austin character, but he is definitely “Sarah Reed,” the evil aunt from “Jane Eyre.”

    • marxalot

      The rake in Sense and Sensibility? Willoughby?

    • rebecca

      Lady Catherine De Bourgh

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Good call. I was leaning towards Mrs. Elton, but I think you called it.

  • Opiwan

    Something, something, gom jabbar from a toddler…

  • janecita
    • DesertedPictures

      It’s weird how likable attempted kid-murder Jaimy is in the series…

      • janecita

        Right? I love the man. I really don’t care about Bran too much, he is all sorts of creepy.

        • DesertedPictures

          The most awesome Stark-children (with the exception of Jon) all turn out to become creepie lately. Sansa has become quite awesome though.

          • Resistance Fighter Astraea

            Arya sparring with Brienne was pretty much all I ever needed from Game of Thrones. Kind of sorry I sat through the rest to get there and yet I will probably watch to the end.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Is it bad that I’m kinda pulling for the white walkers?

          • WotsAllThisThen

            The Night King is a different kind of politician, not a beltway insider. He’s going to shake things up.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            I’m gonna pretend you didn’t just imply that I am a CNN anchor Drumpf apologist.

          • Resistance Fighter Astraea

            #TeamDragon

          • alpacapunchbowl

            White. Walker. Dragons.
            You know that would be badass.

          • puredog

            Be sure to watch on Sunday.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Well, I have to. My roommate has people over to watch it.
            He’s lucky I’m a laid-back kinda roommate and don’t make a stink about them getting in the way of me smoking a big fat doob, putting my feet up, and watching MY show (Twin Peaks).

          • janecita

            No, I’m too. I hope that the kill everybody.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Except for Tyrion! I like him. And maybe Jaime.

          • Jamoche

            There’s an image of Tommen and a kitten alone on a totally iced-over Iron Throne. It’s far from the worst possible outcome.

          • janecita

            Are you all caught up with the show?

          • Jamoche

            Yeah, but I was being vague for spoiler reasons. I know a lot of people who are a season behind because they wait for the free HBO week to binge-watch it.

          • janecita

            I try to do the same, I don’t want to ruin it for other people.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            We haven’t seen Tommen’s kitten in awhile, have we. Maybe kitty was a spy for Olenna?

        • miss_grundy

          Now he is all sorts of bratty…

  • x111e7thst

    L. Bob Rife

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    He is obviously a wight.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Based on his skin pallor, I’ll allow it.

  • I’m thinking the little fat pud that Aria has to stab back in season 1.

  • CindyinEncinitas

    I’ll go with this guy. From the whatever game everyone loves, I guess. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c256e00b54cf8678b072ce9188a7729b2d4a80b40cb1df845827be7365ea2265.png

    • Thiazin Red

      How does a skeleton have a gut? This puzzles me.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        IK,R? It’s called a Gluttony Minion. I thought it was pretty apt, though.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        High-carb diet?

      • Eileen Besse

        Bannon.

  • elviouslyqueer

    I’m thinking the High Septon. Crazy, fanatical, vindictive, self-righteous. Also gets blown all to shit by a power-hungry bitch.

    I’m not sure who Steve Bannon would be, though.

  • Not Flat – ROUND!

    Now Bannon is free to play a zombie on the Walking Dead.
    No make-up required.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Nah, all that walking around would tucker him out. He might be willing to do it if they incorporate a camelbak full of gin into his costume.

      • Not Flat – ROUND!

        Due to time and money saved on make-up, I’m sure they would be willing to accommodate him.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          That’s gonna be a LOT of gin though…
          He might have to bust into Darryl’s stash of moonshine.

          • Not Flat – ROUND!

            lol

        • bupkus231

          As long as he agrees to have an icepick thrust through his temple….

          No, I’m talking about SFX, really….

  • Moebym Reborn

    Relevant to the banner image:

    “What the Kek: Explaining the Alt-Right ‘Deity’ Behind Their ‘Meme Magic'”

    Turns out there’s a much deeper meaning behind the term “kek” that the alt-right loves to use. Kek’s an actual diety from Egyptian mythology that represents chaos and darkness, so it’s rather fitting that this bunch chose it.

  • The Wanderer

    It can’t be Littlefinger; Petyr Baelish is too smart.
    Varys? Too principled.
    Can’t be Euron Greyjoy – he’s too much of a PUA.

    Screw it; I’m going to have a nice drink, have dinner, and work up a sequel to a story involving a hungover rabbit, a cryptic sheep, and a temple full of diminutive cultists.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      What? No hyperbolic hamster?

      • The Wanderer

        Thank you! The cultists are hamsters. (jots a note)

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Wait, does this mean I have to watch Game of Thrones? Because I know there’s been a lot of seasons.

    • DesertedPictures

      Nah: you should read Game of Thrones!

      (or watch it… the show is fairly awesome as well. With some notable (Dorne) exceptions…

      • elviouslyqueer

        Oh come on. Oberon was great! Until, well, that whole skull mashing thing.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        There’s some less than stellar stuff in the books too, IMHO. (LSH in particular, again, IMHO).

        • DesertedPictures

          True: but overall I love reading them. (I really hope Grr MArtin doesn’t die before finishing them)

      • Jamoche

        They were potentially awesome, at least from the casting side. But man did they ever fizzle.

    • elviouslyqueer

      There were LOTS of buttsexxy scenes in the first two seasons. So there’s that.

      • Thiazin Red

        If thats what you want Spartacus is better.

        • elviouslyqueer

          Renly and Loras LIBEL!

          • Resistance Fighter Astraea

            I don’t remember them having enough on-screen sex to make it worthwhile.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          Or, you know, just … porn.

          • marxalot

            There’s not nearly as much grandstanding or dubious consent in porn, it’s got that going for it. And the effects are generally more realistic.

    • It seems like something that put me to sleep about ten minutes in.

      I had that problem with all those Hobbit movies.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Dragons. Can’t watch.

  • CindyinEncinitas
  • ken_kukec

    So how many psi can Bannon mount when he’s pissing back in the tent?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Donnie is always the race car. Always! (And the banker. And no one gets Boardwalk but Donnie, or that board is gonna get flipped).

  • Hither and Yawn

    He’s like a Star Trek transporter accidental hybrid of Littlefinger and Varys. Everyone is frantic to correct the error as he’s so thoroughly unlikable they would rather take their chances with the component personalities.

  • Nockular cavity

    Theon, because he just got his dick cut off.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Trump would be Theon; Bannon would just be the dick.

    • DesertedPictures

      But Theon is just a coward… not inherintly evil.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    The south end of Arya’s horse as she returns to the North.

  • Mr. Blobfish
  • Ryan Denniston

    Economically secure Durhamites rally to counter rumored protest by economically anxious. Hooray!

    http://www.wral.com/latest-no-verified-information-confirming-counter-protest-in-durham-/16889133/

  • Bill D. Burger

    Perhaps Euron Greyjoy? That evil fucker will tear down the kingdom and destroy anything and anyone to get his way.

    http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Euron-Greyjoy.gif

    • Latverian Diplomat

      As with Littlefinger and Ramsay Bolton, competence is the issue here.

      Euron is definitely in magnificent bastard territory.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      The way the actor chews on the scenery like gristle does amuse me though, which is more than I can say for ole Steve.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Janos Slynt. Frog-faced. Built like a keg. Disloyal. Corrupt. Ultimately forced out for the very qualities for which he was given power once he is of no further use.

    • ManchuCandidate

      But he got what he deserved. I don’t see Greyscale Meth face getting his

      • cats530

        Valar morghulis.

        • Eileen Besse

          Joffrey. Ramsay. Euron.

  • Ryan Denniston

    Wait, this isn’t one of those firings like the Spicey firing is it? I mean, that guy still hasn’t left has he?

    • Gayer Than Thou

      How ironic would it be if Trump ended up actually moving out of the White House before Spicey?

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Gordon Gekko has left the building

    https://twitter.com/thehill/status/898654072437329920

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Like most of Trump’s advisers, he wants to spend more time with what family is still speaking to him.

      • Rags

        I always loved the fake Mooch line – “I left to spend less time with my family.” Sick burn…..

    • Trump never will be Icahnic.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Um … if everyone leaves, can we go on as if Obama was still POTUS? I mean, just nobody say anything to Trump.

    • SayItWithWookies

      I can’t imagine why nobody wants to be an advisor to a man who never takes advice – even if he wasn’t a Nazi it would be frustrating.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        What is the point of having a Nazi in the White House if he won’t even take enough advice to make the trains run on time?

    • Carl, your family and community should already know Nazis make horrible business deals.

      What took him so long?????!?!

    • SweetDeeKat

      Pretty bad when a mound of filth like Carl Icahn can’t stand you.

  • I don’t watch the Game Shows so I’ll have to go with these guys: NC Republican state Reps. Justin Burr and Chris Millis.

    These two asshats introduced a bill in the state lege that would “protect drivers from legal battles with protesters” should one or twenty be run over whilst protesting on a public road.

    To wit: “These people are nuts to run in front of cars like they do … and say, ‘me and my buddy here are going to stop this two-and-a-half-ton vehicle,’” Rep. Michael Speciale, a New Bern Republican and a supporter of the bill, said at the time. “If somebody does bump somebody, why should they be held liable?”

    Bannon is the kind of guy who would introduce a bill like this and lobby for its passing.

  • Holly
    • ManchuCandidate

      Nah they coming for US.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      With deep apologies to Chris Rock, maybe he’s not a racist because he hates EVERYBODY?

      • Jamoche

        It’s not that he hates people, it’s that he loves their money.

        • marxalot

          He’s a barefaced opportunist. He doesn’t have to believe any of the shit he’s shilling, as long as the suckers keep buying it.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Money as a means to power, yes. He’s not going on any Pretty Woman-style shopping sprees for clothing on Rodeo Drive that’s for sure.

          • Permit-holder Ron

            Not as long as he can keep stealing clothing from Salvation Army donation bins.

  • DesertedPictures

    I have to wander though, non GOT watchers? What do you think the show is about. It’s always fun to find out how much people pick up from simple Osmosis.

    • Holly

      This should be fun!

    • Is it about a game? of thrones? (Just going out on a limb here)

    • Treg Brown
    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      From what I’ve heard, it’s about how to get people to watch nudity on TV.

      • DesertedPictures

        Pretty much yeah…

      • doktorzoom

        Apparently getting the characters nekkid while talking about offscreen events is a necessary device for letting viewers know what the hell’s going on.The writers actually call it “Sexposition.”

        • Jamoche

          The amount of which seems to inversely correlate to their F/X budget. Not that I’m complaining; I’d rather have dragons.

          • DesertedPictures

            But the dragons are naked too!

    • marxalot

      The Wars of the Roses, plus the Wars of the Spanish Succession, a dash of the Era of Warring States, with dragons and creepy things. So, like that Tudors show, only way more characters, tonnes more on screen sex (including incest), and magic. And a way to remind everyone that Dame Diana Rigg has aged magnificently.

  • boyblue123

    Will Breitbart now become anti-Trump?

    • Bill D. Burger

      Bet they won’t abandon Hair Furor (He’s still a useful fool.), but they will have their knives out big time for the ~gasp~ “globalists” in the West Wing.

    • Jamoche

      I’m not heading over there to verify, but this article says yes: http://www.politicususa.com/2017/08/18/conservatives-2.html
      “Conservatives wasted no time turning on Trump after he fired Steve Bannon, with some going as far as promising a revolution against their own president.”

      • yyyaz

        Who knew that “burning it all down” anarchism is a “conservative” value.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        This is why you don’t ‘You’re Fired’ Ernst Röhm until you have the SS organised. Rookie mistake.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    The real answer is no character because no one would bother to make a fictional Bannon.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Every Rose has its Dorne. Prince Wheelchair.

  • Werewolf
    • DainBramage

      Bannon really cleaned himself up for that picture.

    • DesertedPictures

      I loved that Orc. I’m always a bit sad when he dies…

      • Joe Beese

        Gothmog.

        #KnowYourOrcs

  • NotALiar

    I read the game of thrones books and don’t watch the show. And if I ever hear you having a game of thrones conversation I’ll make sure to tell you I read the game of thrones books but I don’t watch the show.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      You sound absolutely fascinating. Do you, by chance, have a compendium of reasons why I should ride a fixie or a curated list of trilby-wearers?

      • NotALiar

        Oh, don’t get me started.

  • Too many trips to Mar-a-Largo, not enough Red Weddings in this administration for my taste.

  • cats530

    “we’re having a hard time deciding which character in the HBO fantasy hit Steve Bannon most resembles.”

    Ser Meryn Trant.

    • Lizzietish81

      Janos Slynt?

      • cats530

        “I’m not questioning your honor, Lord Janos. I’m denying its existence.”
        — Tyrion Lannister to Janos Slyn.

        Yes, very similar to Bannon. No honor.

  • Steve-o

    Definitely Lard Varys, the spider.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Lord Varys? ___ Bannon would be Lard Ass! ;)

  • Lizzietish81

    That Dune video made my day.

  • Moebym Reborn

    Came upon this upbeat song by Brad Paisley earlier today after learning that he performed it for the Obamas in 2009, and it cheered me up by reminding me of better days. (Just please, don’t read too far down in the comments section.)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0Yg9wjctRw

  • guppy06
    • marxalot

      I don’t even remember why, but I hate Culpeper.

  • Nockular cavity

    Actually, I’m gonna go with a fat, malfunctioning, would-be murderous (because malfunctioning) robot from Westworld.

  • alpacapunchbowl
    • BosGrl

      I tried to read this without using Google Translate – Germans were at my house and told me to resign but I can’t – uh, poo?

      How’d I do?

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Not bad!
        The English lyrics aren’t a literal translation, which would be, roughly, The Germans were in my home, they told me to surrender, but I could not.

        • BosGrl

          LOL – You’re kind; that was pretty bad. No lie – I took French from 4th-12th grades, then 2 semesters in college, and a course after college and I still can’t speak it. It’s depressing.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Coulda been your teachers too. Our HS French teacher kicked our asses, but when my classmates and I got to college, we were way ahead of most of the other freshmen.

          • BosGrl

            True. You were fortunate. A good teacher makes all the difference.

            Sometimes I watch the Sherbrooke, Quebec, TV channel to see if I can understand anything – LOL.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            The Canadian accent is TOUGH. I had a hell of a time when I was visiting friends in Montreal and actually ended up speaking English most of the time.

          • BosGrl

            You’re right, the accent is tougher than French French. I’ve been to Montreal twice and both times I got fierce shade whenever I spoke English, but was treated much nicer when I at least tried my awful French :).

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Just making an effort is so key when traveling, especially to another country. I don’t understand why so many people don’t get this.
            In fairness, the Quebecois throw fierce shade at everyone. It’s kinda their thing.

          • BosGrl

            This is true. I remember when I was a kid, my mother’s idea of “making an effort” used to be talking slowly and loudly. She’s not well now and I miss that confidence.

  • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

    From PoliticusUSA

    CNN Anchor Has to Pause for Water While Trying to Read a List of Trump’s Last Four Weeks of Crazy

    By Sarah Jones on Fri, Aug 18th, 2017 at 4:27 pm
    CNN’s Brooke Baldwin took a courageous plunge of listing chaotic Trump moments over the last four weeks in office. It took her three minutes and she had to pause for water while trying to read through the bullet points.

    Video @ the link

  • yyyaz

    CNN is warning that the cherished Friday news dump is coming: “Kelly’s not done.” Yay!

    • aktlib101

      Can Kelly fire Trump?

      • yyyaz

        Not “technically.”

        • aktlib101

          I should have mentioned it was a ‘rhetorical’ question, lol. Or wishful thinking, even better

          • yyyaz

            RQs are sometimes irresistible.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Oh god, I have to drive some friends to the airport in about 10 minutes. I’ll have to get it from NPR instead of you guys.

  • Crystalclear12

    I know this one!
    He reminds of that character in the new reality show “Holy shit, We’re fucked!”
    It’s about an insane ruler and his corrupt advisor, what’s his name.
    That corrupt advisor and Bannon could be twins, guys!

    • I don’t know what I’m dreading more, the Celebrity Edition or the Junior Edition with preteens.

      • Crystalclear12

        The redemption edition when the old contestants come back.

  • aktlib101

    Silver lining: with Bannon’s departure, the Dolt has achieved the unachievable, he drained a tiny little bit of the swamp his administration is drowning in. Yay?

  • Truck Fump

    Having only read the books, I’d say that Bannon is Dan…. AKA Dragonlady’s brother. He was a pure fuck.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4a324e8e05fdb4da52f957bfb9fd4548fcbb57b0784a465e09f7bed8887bf740.jpg

  • Fartknocker

    Well, this is very good for me because it’s one less name on my list of graves I’m going to piss on before I’m dead.

    • Skeptical_thinker

      No reason to take his off your list.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        Just move him down a few slots.

  • Vicki Lawrence’s Covfefe

    Ser Pounce

    • DainBramage

      You mean The Pounce That Was Promised?

  • Persistent Demme

    My two cents:
    Trumpy thinks he will get points for ousting Bannon.
    He will not.
    I think he will continue to listen to him and maintain a relationship.
    This is all just for show.

  • VirginiaWackelpudding

    LOTR’s Wormtongue?
    Is he gonna go back to cooking bathtub meth? He looks like he’s still using and that stuff ain’t free and he just lost his job….

    • marxalot

      Hot tub meth. Jacuzzi meth. Top shelf shit.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Wormtongue is not a bad comparison, thought it would work even better if Theoden was a putz who loved flattery and Eowyn was a lazy, spoiled brat with a “fashion line”.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Dibs on Jesse Pinkman!

      • JustDon’tSayDignity

        Well, he has had a bad time with Nazis.

  • Ezio
    • Rags

      I blame Obamacare.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    I’m pretty sure that “Winter came” is a better line than “Winter is here.”, especially if you’re a badass like Arya Stark and can put “for soandso” at the end of it.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea
  • Angela Ruzzo

    As a gesture of solidarity with my brothers and sisters in Barcelona, where I once lived, I have purchased 2 bottles of Freixenet champagne (OK, sparkling wine for you purists) which is bottled in that beautiful city (OK, just west of that city, same thing). I will drink one glass tonight, one Saturday, finish the bottle during Masterpiece on Sunday night, and I will drink the second bottle on Monday, Eclipse Day (100% totality here). I strongly recommend that you all join me in this symbolic gesture.

    And it occurred to me that it has been 42 years since I lived in Barcelona, although since I was young and foolish at the time, the memories are very vivid so it doesn’t seem that long ago. I spent many happy hours sitting on Las Ramblas drinking with my friends and watching the world go by, and being shat on by the pigeons in Plaza Catalunya. To celebrate the joy of youthful experiences now long gone, I offer up this song. Visca Barça! (No, I have not drunk any Freixenet yet).
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3KEhWTnWvE

    • marxalot

      This is the version I grew up with… and I find myself humming it more often of late… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2O5EeBjxhiY

      • Angela Ruzzo

        That’s a good version. But I can’t sing along with it because the high notes are out of reach. That’s why I like Mary Hopkin’s version – it fits my voice. It’s definitely a song one wants to sing along with. Sometimes I play it in the car and SING at the top of my voice. One day a cop will stop me for speeding while I am doing this, and I will keep singing, and he will arrest me for Failing To Stop Singing 60’s Music (they just make this shit up when they want to).

  • DesertedPictures

    It’s Wormtongue right? (your words are poison. Seems kind off right).

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvKP88-o8m8

  • Anna Rompage

    Which character is Bannon, the guy who just got demoted down to having to empty& clean the port-o-potties…

  • cats530

    One of the carcasses of unknown origin in the perpetually boiling “bowl of brown” where the peasants of Flea Bottom dine?

  • Mr. Blobfish

    So, trump was too much of a wuss to fire Bannon himself?

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Of course. For someone who made the words “you’re fired!” into his personal buzz phrase, he’s awfully squeamish about actually doing it. Just one more reason to hold him in contempt. He’s a blustering, chickenshit coward.

      • Jamoche

        Because really “you’re fired” meant “OK, showrunners, make sure the footage makes them look bad.”

  • You know what’s really, really hard?

    For psychopaths to be nice to people all the time.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/717f4ee3d98cbbcfaac42b40ae7b69cc518d8286a01594b0deb522fa3c0fb11a.png

    It’s so tiring being something you’re not!

  • mailman27

    Winter is here/bqwhtevr- I could use a little less humidity if it’s NOT TOO MUCH TROUBLE!!!11!!!!

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Damn that climate change!

    • natoslug

      Winter would be nice. Then maybe the weather report would no longer include “patchy smoke” as part of its description. There’s nothing fucking patchy about it — the sky’s brown and I feel like I’m living in L.A. again.

  • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

    One thing his royal anus has accomplished… turning the comments section of every article on every Liberal forum into a thread about him. Fuckin’ narcissist.

    • ManchuCandidate

      He’s so vain. He thinks this thread is about him.

  • Vicki Lawrence’s Covfefe

    http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2017/08/18/michelle-obama-will-and-grace/

    A source told InTouch: “Former first lady Michelle Obama will appear on the show.
    “The details are still being worked out, but supposedly Michelle is up for anything, as long as it doesn’t cross the line too much.”

    • Permit-holder Ron

      Not that I’d ever miss an episode of W&G, but THAT one I MUST see.

  • DainBramage
    • Swampgas_Man

      I just Cahn’t

  • PixieThis

    He’s the contents of the chamber pot. That’s a character on GoT, right?

    • Jamoche

      It was certainly heavily featured in a recent episode!

  • Pinkham’s Law

    My husband is so sweet, but sometimes he does really, really dumb things. What kind of dumb? I thought you’d never ask!

    Background first: I happen to be a financially frustrated audiophile. This means that I fiercely defend my 20 year old high end stereo, and my old-school, monolithic speakers, which he despises. We will be moving soon, and he wants to replace AOT,K.

    Today, he “made” me take one of the speakers to the good stereo shop for repair, and told me to talk with them about putting in a whole house audio system. The poor dear has never heard of Magnapans. Hehehe. He wants my old stuff to go bye-bye, he’s gonna have to pay a price!

    • Magnapans are awesome.

      To feel the treble as wind, that’s unique.

    • Anna Rompage

      If you’re a handy sort, they have some really great DIY kits through Madisound.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Fight the good fight. I have to do that with my wife every so often. Why can’t we just run my iPhone thru the Quad power amp and speakers. Do we really need sand filled speaker stands and what’s a USB D/A converter anyway?

      • marxalot

        Running Dad managed to make me an audiophile via osmosis. I should have know it wasn’t going to work out with the last girl when she didn’t own a music reproduction device.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Dafuq? I thought my ex who was just kind of indifferent to music was bizarre.

          • marxalot

            She utilized her laptop for all music reproduction needs.
            And was kind but utterly bewildered about my setting up the stereo before, you know, furniture. (Yeah, I brought the receiver and speakers with me in the car rather than my futon mattress, what.)

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Makes sense to me. Otherwise, how do you listen to tunes while you’re setting up your futon?

          • JustDon’tSayDignity

            That, too.

          • JustDon’tSayDignity

            That’s just Stereo 101. How are you supposed to know where the couch goes before you position the speakers?

          • marxalot

            Now I just need to take the tone arm assembly on my turntable apart and figure out why the fuck it’s doing that thing it does. I replaced the belt already, that wasn’t it.

          • JustDon’tSayDignity

            “It’s all done with ball bearings these days.”
            -Fletch

  • spangled
  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Kelly firing Bannon took guts. Bannon looks flammable.

    • JustDon’tSayDignity

      I think you mistook inflammation for flammability.

  • Moebym Reborn

    This video caught my eye while browsing YT earlier, and as a Chinese-American who spent much of my youth in the South, I found it fascinating as hell. It’s a bit jarring to hear Chinese speaking in perfect Southern accents, since the Chinese I grew up with didn’t speak with accents. There’s also a little bit of US history thrown in with regard to their contributions to the fight for civil rights.

    Sadly, there aren’t too many descendants of the original Chinese population left in the Mississippi delta area.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NMrqGHr5zE

    • ManchuCandidate

      I roomed with an Alabama Korean at summer camp once. I got used to the accent after a while.

      Not as strange accent wise as a Newfie Chinese.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      I had a similar experience with the minorities in Jamaica. While visiting Kingston a year or so ago, my wife met up with a bunch of her school friends. I was brought along to a Chinese restaurant to meet them all. It was disconcerting to hear white, Chinese and Indian people talking with the Jamaican patois. Also, too Jamaican Chinese food is nothing like American Chinese food. But quite interesting.

      • Moebym Reborn

        Jamaican Chinese food sounds amazing.

        • Mr. Blobfish

          I can’t put it into words, but it nothing like what we have here.

  • aktlib101
    • Bill D. Burger

      The winner of the coming uncivil war gets all the Confederate monuments.

    • Kooolest G

      he means jared, prepare for a shit ton of leaks about jared and all the other people working in the white house who breitbarters call “globalists” ((( insert jewish name here)))

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Good. Tear down Paul Fucking Ryan.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Please offer your suggestions for which Game of Thrones character Stephen K Bannon is. No need to limit yourself to characters actually in the show or the novels by J.R.R. Martin.

    *snort*

  • Jennifer R
    • natoslug

      That’s a seriously bizarre panty line. Perhaps she has a really low vestigial tail?

      • Jennifer R

        Due to a back injury, my tailbone sticks up and out (it’s the first thing I sit on!) and it sure don’t look like that.

    • doktorzoom

      She never should have gotten those MC Escher workout videos.

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      Haley Quinn covers Blondie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrYhYT8jM_I

  • David

    Wormtongue.

  • amrak63

    Open thread you say?

    MEEP MEEP! Have a wallpaper (1024 x 768)!

    http://i.imgur.com/Uq3s6Hw.jpg

    • marxalot

      I’d hit that.

      • amrak63

        OK, you’re pervy enough to apply for Bannon’s position.

        • marxalot

          Look, you left it wide open.

          • natoslug

            As did the roadrunner. Slutty little bird.

          • amrak63

            The only thing you’d hit would be the pavement. MEEP MEEP!

            If Wile E. Coyote, SOO-per Genius, couldn’t catch him…

    • Permit-holder Ron

      Mmm, butt feathers…

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • spangled

      false flag! it’s soros in disguise! alex jones isn’t a real person, he’s a character created by the globalists!

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I think it depends if the movement has a fringe.

        • JustDon’tSayDignity

          or an agent.

    • Suse

      It’s real: WATCH: Seattle local dumps hot coffee on ranting Alex Jones http://www.rawstory.com/2017/08/watch-seattle-local-dumps-hot-coffee-on-ranting-alex-jones/

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        I believe it’s Jones. I have a hard time believing the guy who dumped the supposedly “scalding” coffee on him was some random dude walking out of the Westlake Station.

      • natoslug

        What a waste of lukewarm coffee. That’s why you need to have a properly insulated cup. Preferably one that holds at least a gallon.

      • natoslug

        I just watched the gif of Jones running after some guy. What a puffed up little bantie.

        • Holly

          “puffed up little bantie”! That’s exactly what he is. Now, what’s a bantie?

          • natoslug

            Small chicken, big attitude. Or, considering that the male chicken is a cockerel, or cock, tiny cock, major dick.

          • Holly

            You learn something new everyday. And that’s excellent so thank you!

          • Eileen Besse

            I also thank natoslug, too!

      • Augustus

        he 100% staged that

        this fucking dude is always yelling about false flags

        since the #1 rule with these assholes is projection…

        …just look at the video, lol

    • natoslug

      The reality is that it is both.

    • Claire

      Oops, I didn’t see this before I posted the same thing. Sorry!

  • WIDTAP

    Ros the Prostitute, because, you know, prostitute.

    • DesertedPictures

      Ros was nice. Bannon aint nice.

      • WIDTAP

        Well then my second guess would be whichever of the Sand Snakes was the least popular.

        • Resistance Fighter Astraea

          How can anyone tell the difference between them?

          • DesertedPictures

            Well… you know. On the one hand you had the crazy violent woman without a clue. On the other hand you had… well… a crazy violent woman without a clue.

        • DesertedPictures

          The mother…

          • WIDTAP

            I did like other Indira Varma characters better, such as the one who threw herself off a balcony rather than spend another moment with Kevin McKidd.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Which GoT character called his castle “the platform for the alt-white walkers?”

  • Holly

    The ousting of Bannon puts the cherry on top of what was a shit sundae of a week. I’m thankful for the little things at this point.

    • kaydenpat

      Trump is such a mess that I wonder if he even knows how bad this week has been for his brand.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        “My afternoon flattery binder is a little light today. What’s going on?”

      • Augustus

        I believe that he will never, no matter what happens, come to believe he is at fault for anything

        he will literally deny ’til he dies

  • anon_the_great

    Al Swearengen

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Swin-Jen had a code.

  • DesertedPictures

    http://www.titancon.com/images/guests/janos_slynt.jpg

    This Guy. Janos Slynt! Fired and all…

    • Does that make Breitbart The Wall? Seems far too noble for them…

      • DesertedPictures

        I think Breitbart are the Dead. The nazi’s are the white walkers. The whole Trump family is the Night King. And I suppose Hillary Clinton is Cersei to some people; hated so much by some people that they think they might as well let the country and all it’s people be destroyed if it means not bending the knee to her…

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Ooh, who’s the guy Arya took out in the brothel? He was sufficiently reprehensible.

      • DesertedPictures

        Forgot all about that guy!

        • alpacapunchbowl

          He was atrocious. I’m gonna go with that guy.

  • Poly_Ester

    Bannon’s job has been outsourced to the Kremlin.

  • natoslug

    Pretty much any Vogon. Or one of their poems, come to life.

    • Jamoche

      Or the person who successfully pulled off what Arthur tried – the one who convinced them that yes, he really really truly loved the poetry.

  • Cock Blockula

    Bannon is the Mad King who was slain (“you’re fired”) by Jaime Lannister who is banging his own sister. This parallels with Trump’s icky incestuous overtones with Ivanka.

  • Bobathonic

    Assy McGee

  • amrak63

    Miyuki (from Lucky Star) because Miyuki.

    http://i.imgur.com/UI74RAU.jpg

  • Moebym Reborn

    Steve Bannon is the vengeful, alcoholic, abusive, racist, sexist piece of shit Robert E. Lee “Bob” Ewell in To Kill a Mockingbird. Bonus: like Bob, Steve seems to have terrible personal hygiene.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guMVb47aD-k

  • Anna Rompage

    OMG, I cannot wait to see Bannon compete against Rinse Pubis, and Lying Spice on the Trump’s flunky season of Dancing With The Stars…

    • Rags

      Or guest starting on Mueller Time

    • Panika MCD

      I think you have to be indicted before they invite you on.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Indicted into the Hall of Shame

        • Panika MCD

          and by a grand jury. notice that Secretary Good Hair and Tom Delay were both invited on while they had pending cases.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            I need to watch moar TV to keep up with who’s got the moves on the floor and in the courtroom.

  • Reximus

    Gorka’s next

    • Eileen Besse

      I wish.

  • aktlib101

    “Steve Bannon’s work is done. Donald Trump doesn’t need him now”
    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/aug/18/donald-trump-fire-steve-bannon-white-house-nationalism

    “In the Anes survey from 2016, when a nationally representative sample of white Americans was asked, “How important is being white to your identity?”, the proportion who said “extremely” important nearly doubled from 2012 to 2016. ”

    “Bannon’s most attainable, sustainable – and most frightening – achievement is white Americans’ renewed sense of racial consciousness; a sense of shared destiny that was once shamed as unpalatable and ignored by mainstream politicians. He has wielded pervasive fear about demographic change into immense, cathartic political capital in support of Trump and his crusade against political correctness, foreigners and other threats to the historic American social hierarchy.”

    Racist dumbasses.

    • bbayliss

      That’s the party line at Breitbart:
      “His work is done” “He always said he’d only stay 6 months” “He always said he’d only stay a year” “He’ll be more effective working outside” and my favorite…
      “Who are the Mercers?”

  • Count Awesome

    Bannon is whatever character Steven Seagal is playing g in his latest direct to video “triumph”.

    • “Third Reich from the Sun.”

    • Mr. Blobfish

      “Trumpie’s Choice”

  • Granny Sprinkles

    A case could be made that he is Ser Hugh of the Vale, who many might not remember because he didn’t last long.

    But I’m pretty sure he’s the director of the firm hired to continue the credits after the other people had been sacked.

    • Nezrite

      A Møøch once bit my sister… No realli!

      • amrak63

        The Wonkette commenter who was hired to continue the credits after the other people had been sacked has been sacked, and replaced by a colorful were-llama.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Dear Dok: I do not watch “Game of Thrones” either. I do not care for fantasy, I prefer real history, which was sometimes awful enough without the dragons. The Armenians would agree with me. That said, I am a big fan of Arthurian legends and “Doctor Who.” Nobody can be consistent 100% of the time, not even The Doctor.

    • Bannon would be like….Morgana then?

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Maybe. Good idea. But more like The Master. I only hope he doesn’t have regenerative powers.

  • Edith Prickly
    • Angela Ruzzo

      Oooh, I like that! Can I be Princess Leia and do various things to him that non-commenting rules won’t allow me to write?

      • Edith Prickly

        It’s OK with me, but Dok is the final authority…

  • Poly_Ester

    Nothing enigmatic about “Winter is Here,” its from Bannon’s favorite book “The Fourth Turning” by William Strauss and Neil Howe.

  • Anna Rompage

    I guess this means Bannon is back to running a meth house/porn studio, and offering the contractors free sex with the actresses in exchange for work…

    • marxalot

      …do the actresses have test results from within the past 21 days available? Or is this one of those “amateur” setups? because, uh, most pros I know don’t accept payment in meth.

  • Claire
    • Reximus

      Alex had a latte dumped on him but I’m sure it was a setup job

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Otherwise the latte dumper faces an assault charge.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          Yeah, there’s no way Jones wouldn’t run whining to the nearest cop.

      • Claire

        Shame it was a setup. The tweet’s still hilarious, though.

      • Walter Wellstone

        Bitch set him up.

  • Elendira

    Bannon has to leave the White House today because he has to start preparing to return the great city of R’lyeh which is only possible during a Solar Eclipse.

    “Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn! “

  • Ricky Gay

    He is “My Mother” (the car)

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    “Odor! Odor! Odor. ODOR!!”

    Unlike the GOT character, the people from his office would be the ones constantly saying this.

  • amrak63
    • cheetojeebus

      There’s several different versions of wrong here and a smidgen of right.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Not for nuttin’, but when I went out today, I brought my Swiss Army Knife. That’s as armed as I get. I’ll whittle a bitch if I have to.

  • John Thorstensen

    Note: Bannon died on the way back to his home planet. —

    [Don’t get excited – not literally, it’s a Simpsons reference]

    • Sean McLaren

      he went back alright…

      “Former White House Chief Strategist Stephen K. Bannon returned as Executive Chairman of Breitbart News Friday afternoon and chaired the company’s evening editorial meeting.”

    • Reximus

      CNN saying he’s officially back as chairman of Breitard.com and leading the editorial meeting right now, IOW nothing changed from yesterday

      • Walter Wellstone

        He never left.

        • Suse

          That’s what I was going to say!

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Of course he didn’t.

    • Treg Brown

      Poochie Libelz!!1!

    • Augustus

      I’ve got to go now, my planet needs me

  • Holly

    Hi guys. We made it to Friday and the sun still sets in the west. This has been a week of emotional endurance. We all deserve a (insert whatever your heart desires) mine is an excellent rum given to me by a fine fellow from St Croix. Mixed with a little crystallized ginger and mango juice, it’s fabulous. I’m going to savor every sip and continue to post. When you notice I’m becoming incoherent please take the glass out of my hand and throw the blanket over me.
    Edit: Because of Tina Fey’s brilliant take on SNL and her sheetcake I think I’m going to drunk bake one of those tonight. Somebody stand by with the fire extinguisher.

    • cheetojeebus

      oh hell ya.

    • bbayliss

      My wife brought home sheet cake, honest.

      • Holly

        Your wife is the best!

        • bbayliss

          Yup.

      • grindstone

        Hug her extra from me.

        • bbayliss

          She got hugs and a BIG kiss.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      If that’s Cruzan single barrel rum, you’re damn right.

      • Holly

        That’s exactly what it is. Skål!

        • Mr. Blobfish

          Tastes like a good bourbon. Yum.

          • Holly

            Both have a chiffon smoothness.

    • Roadstergal

      A Norwegian friend of mine brought me some Czech rum while we were still in Switzerland. We drank it all on the shore of Brienz while lamenting our 80 days of living in a civilized country coming to a close. It was so smooth and utterly lacking in hangover. I don’t know what we’re going to have now…

      • Holly

        Since you’re back here in the United States of WTF Happened! Anything with a high alcohol content and the hangover be damned.

    • Eileen Besse

      I’ll help you drunk bake. I’m good at it….

      • Holly

        Bring your own rum. Mine is going fast.

        • Eileen Besse

          I drink cheap beer so I can drink a lot of it. I’ll bring that, iiok.

    • Holly

      Hello all. Paul here…I stole Holly’s computer while she makes breakfast.

      Don’t worry about her making a sheet cake last night. As soon as she mentioned it I snuck outside and shut off the gas to the stove.

  • boyblue123

    Tomorrows front page of the NY Daily News:

    https://twitter.com/NYDailyNews/status/898655118236807173

    • Augustus

      who says “alt-ctrl?” it’s “ctrl-alt-delete”

      • boyblue123

        i figure its a play on the alt-right

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      As if Trump could lift his foot that high . . .

  • Reximus

    Here’s steve on his way home “Women and Children and Alcoholics first!”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9e28fabf7e3e81880592b33785e20e4b5bd1194c9d41f424f766df3a0e2c8444.jpg

  • Suse
    • TJ Barke

      HOLY FUCKING SHIT!

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        From the eighties remake. Awesome!

        • TJ Barke

          That’s fucking horrible. That would be an agonizing way to die…

    • BloviateMe

      That’s what you get for trying to eat out Palin.

      • Suse

        Ewww!1!!

        • BloviateMe

          I agree, it’s gross, but I report, you decide.

      • Holly

        EEIIEIGHGHIIEIEI. NO! That’s not even bad porn.

        • BloviateMe

          But now you have a fantastic reason to drink to a stupor!

          • Holly

            That is true! OK BRB

          • Bub, the cynical zombie

            I have QUITE enough reasons, thank you very much!

    • Granny Sprinkles

      Hey! His skin is already improving!

    • HazooToo

      That thing’s mouth opens wider every time it starts over and you cannot convince me I’m wrong

  • Count Awesome

    The Oval Office is going to need one of those old style revolving doors pretty soon.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Robes are too clean to be Bannon’s family.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Yeah, and they are not overweight.

    • Truck Fump

      Who’s the little black one?

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Shhhh… we don’t talk about him.

  • David Chaillou

    He could be Bellatrix Lestrange. Except for the looks.

  • shoeflyin

    Thanks for the laugh, Dok! I haven’t watched any of these either but still somehow can’t avoid knowing all of the references, Uruk-hai is the only one I truly get…too good. I would still nominate him as Wormtongue, except we don’t have a Theoden on the throne sad face

  • Nezrite

    Ironically, I just texted a friend this afternoon that it feels like GRRM wrote this presidency.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    So, are they loyal to trump or loyal to Bannon, Trump, after all, let his daughter marry a failed Jewish businessman.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Yowza Mr. Mowza! So will Bannon spill the Russian beans to Mueller?

  • Roadstergal

    Captain of Golgrafinchim Ark B?

    • Willert

      Number Two seems more appropriate

      • Roadstergal

        OOh, you’re right.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Bannon’s ride being brought to him as he prepared to sneak out the back and through the woods.

    http://i.imgur.com/n7t6nki.gifv

  • jesterpunk

    Trump just lost another person today. The rats are leaving the sinking ship.

    http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/347160-icahn-steps-down-as-regulatory-adviser-to-trump

    • Angela Ruzzo

      It never occurred to me that Icahn was still alive. I bought a Chrysler car in 1980 because of his promotions, and heck, that was 37 years ago, and he wasn’t a young man at the time. I thought he was dead.

    • hillarysleftone

      LOL, “It’s not you, it’s me.”

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Pivot!

      • jesterpunk

        Does it count as a pivot when you are facing where you where when you get done?

  • Sister Suffragette
    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      The resemblance is uncanny.

  • Treg Brown

    Hell of a week on infrastructure.

    • Walter Wellstone

      So much winning.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    So I did something stupid. And accidentally posted this on the Heather Meyer’s mom thread. That woman is awesome.

    https://youtu.be/TSSeF25-YJM

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    This is Bannon… no, not Samwell Tarly, the nasty shit and puke in the bucket

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1VmiXxutwU

    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      I don’t think I want to watch Game of Thrones.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        I have a friend who is an avid GoT watcher. After hearing her many enthusiastic updates about what was going on in the series episodes, my conclusion was this: “Why in the actual fuck would I want to watch that crap?”

        Back in 2001 or so, I tried to read the first book. After reading the first fifth of the book, my conclusion was this: “Why in the actual fuck would I want to keep reading this crap?”

        Fool me once, shame on you…

  • Count Awesome

    Bannon is that guy from “The Apprentice” that thought he was so much smarter than everyone else, but still got fired.

    • Zonath

      Trump?

  • goonemeritus

    Hopefully he will get his revenge on his ungrateful house as a White-Walker commanding the legion of undead Breitbart trolls.

  • Reximus

    On the UPside: There’s a better than 50/50 chance that Steve Bannon will still have been the Chief White House Strategist for most of the Trump Administration

  • Bill D. Burger

    Reports are that Bannon left with his head and right arm held high….and his oft-plucked (euphemism) chicken, Adolph, was right by his side.

    https://media.tenor.com/images/b87ddca3bf2acee7d290ce950fcad082/tenor.gif

    • Reximus

      Mooch says it’s with his head in his crotch

    • alpacapunchbowl

      I thought it was called GOOSEstepping?

    • Mr. Blobfish

      I heard Chik-fil-a just opened a franchise where the Atlanta Falcons play. Fun Fact is Chik-fil-a ain’t open on Sundays when the Falcons play. Hilarity ensued.

      • bupkus231

        I saw that. How the fuck did they even get a commission if they ain’t gonna be open when the most people are there?

        • lowenufc

          Does this fall under grifters gotta grift as they are going to get all sorts of free publicity out of it?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      What a complete cock-up.

  • Picabo

    Today in history, 1920.
    “The 19th Amendment to the Constitution, guaranteeing women the right to vote, is ratified by Tennessee, giving it the two-thirds majority of state ratification necessary to make it the law of the land. The amendment was the culmination of more than 70 years of struggle by woman suffragists. Its two sections read simply: “The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex” and “Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.”
    http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/woman-suffrage-amendment-ratified

  • Roadstergal
  • chascates

    After celebrating Oliver Cromwell Dame Noonington opines on our current crisis.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/aa04e6a5d7338f49706fc72144c5d82a578e54b750d51577a87958b29283c2bf.jpg

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Oh FUCK OFF PEGGY.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Peggy Noonan does’t know the first fucking thing about teaching history. She should just shut the fuck up and keep the vodka martini enemas coming.

      • OutOfOrbit

        vodka in anus? is that even safe?

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Only in surprisingly small quantities. I suppose it’s a way to make use of a bottle of really crappy booze somebody who hates you gives you for Xmas. That is, of course, provided that you don’t have taste buds and/or smell receptors in your butt, I suppose.

          ETA: Oh Hell no. I read about it on the innertubes.

        • Parakeetist

          Whee!

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      I guess she took some time off from trying to get Cecil B. DeMille to notice her.

    • BloviateMe

      He’s on the losing side. He’s on the wrong side.

      Oh hell yeah let’s venerate that kind of person with statues. Makes so much sense.

      Fucking idiot.

    • HazooToo

      Oh my god, BOOKS EXIST BOOKS EXIST YOU FUCKING BRAINLESS HARPY!

      • BloviateMe

        We need a statue of a book, so someone can explain them to her.

      • Hemp Dogbane

        Also too you can cut out a cavity inside a book to hide an extra bottle of gin just for yourself.

        • HazooToo

          I wonder if she owns a single book that she hasn’t turned into a stash?

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          A possible use for Mein Kampf? Oh Hell, no. I wouldn’t be caught dead with that. I read it in high school. Actually, I tried to read it. It might have made more sense in it’s original German. The English translation was putrid gibberish as far as I could tell. Maybe it would have gotten better past a third of the way through. Not that I give a fuck anymore, mind you.

          • Parakeetist

            I had to read it for a history class. Still makes my skin crawl just thinking about it.

    • Sophia

      If you are not doing it so well in schools whose fault is that considering that part of the Republican agenda is to cut money to schools for tax cuts to the wealthy. Also too if you want to learn history you can always pick up a book. It will teach you more history than a fucking statue

    • WotsAllThisThen

      When you tear down those statues you’re tearing down a country that only marginally existed for a few years. Mostly you’re tearing down the Jim Crow South. You’re tearing down intimidation of minorities.

      And when a child asks who is that statue, just say, “An asshole that other assholes thought was important.”

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      So do books. And books don’t loom over people who walk by and are reminded every day that other people once fought over whether or not they could own other people.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        A book is something that you choose to shove your face into.

        A statue is something that shoves itself into your face as you walk by.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Can it useless byotch! If I want your opinion, I’ll give you one. After that, you can just shut the fuck up.

      There is this thing called a library…

    • Roadstergal

      If a 7-year-old asks me who Robert E Lee was, I’m not going with ‘great general.’

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Tearing down Johnny Reb is like Spring Cleaning. Figure out what nonsense you no longer need in your life, and curbstomp it.

    • Bitter Scribe

      Suppose your 7-, 8- or 10-year-old is black. What should you say to him then? Especially when “you explain what is at issue” and he asks, “Then why is there a statue of him?”

    • Perkniticky

      You know Peggy, there isn’t unlimited space for statues. If we cleared up some of the old ones we could make room for new ones… maybe even one of you. How would you feel about that, hmmm?

    • marxalot

      Ah yes, the tragedy of the historian’s craft is that the only way we have to teach history is through statues. So many years spent learning to fashion in brass and granite. The term “pre-history” comes from a German word indicating the lack of statuary. Etc.

    • bupkus231

      You know – for once, I’m glad I can’t seem to get by the WSJ paywall. Dame Peggy gas really outdone her normal drunken idiocy, so much I don’t even want to point and laugh at the rest of it…

    • Nezrite

      Marie Kondo has a question for you – “Does it bring you joy?”

    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      God, somebody get her another bottle.

  • Mr. Blobfish
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Lizzietish81

    OT: Have to bitch a bit about the new apartment. It has bay windows, which is nice….except that every day from 4:30-7 the sun is RIGHT ON ME.

    Furthermore, these windows have no screens, so opening them is an invite for the millions of fucking flies that live here (and now a lady bug, I’m ok with her, its’ the flies that piss me off)

    Now in theory I have central air, or at least I thought so, but it really just blows some air around, so I’m thinking that this is just a waste of energy. I don’t have a curtain rod (and these windows are a bit narrow, which just adds to the fun) but I got desperate and duct taped a curtain in place to give myself some respite from the fucking blast furnace on my face. It kind of worked. But still it was getting hot. SEriously it’s like a fucking terrarium. I opened the windows but there wasn’t a breeze. In the end I decided I needed to set up my AC which is generally pretty easy. The window however is JUST narrow enough that the block…thing…doesn’t fit IN it I have to put it in front of the window. Plus, the front room and kitchen are essentially the same room, so there’s that much more space to cool.

    Of course the second I get it in place and going…the sun disappears behind gathering clouds and I can see the wind picking up.

    Fucking. A.

    • Lizz, I love you, but I gotta let you know, they make these things called curtains……

      • OutOfOrbit

        nuttin to hang’em on

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Damn. Time to go White Nationalist.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Get a cheap SUN FILTERING shade (it even comes with adhesive), as many as you need. Something like this. They really work.
      Also… if a/c isn’t actually cold, can you tell your landlord it isn’t working and needs recharging? Meanwhile: http://www.homedepot.com/p/Redi-Shade-White-Paper-Light-Filtering-Shade-36-in-W-x-72-in-L-6-Pack-3201021/202674915

    • Permit-holder Ron

      Treat yourself to curtain rods. And curtains. They’ll help the A/C work better too.

  • Doug Langley

    Finally. FINALLY. Friday came. Now I’m home. A whole week of staring at files, at file cards, at file folders, at names, at numbers. Mind numbing.

    Talk to me , people. I need to wash this monotony out of my system.

    • OutOfOrbit

      everything is lovely and the goose hangs high

      • OutOfOrbit

        big pig little pig root hog or die

        • CindyinEncinitas

          Ee eye ee oh?

        • Doug Langley

          I have no intention of trying to make sense of that.

          • OutOfOrbit

            old old saying no idea wear it comes heard years ago from old-timer born 1879

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Hey. I’ve been studying for my insurance exam all week. Talk about exciting…

      • Doug Langley

        SCREEEEEEEEAMMMM!!!

      • Nezrite

        The bad news is, you’ll pass and in two years you’ll be cramming for your continuing education credits.

    • Christopher Story

      Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

      • Doug Langley

        You can’t lose with Julie Andrews.

    • Permit-holder Ron

      It’s burning up! Save the weasel!

  • Ezio

    Which Batman villain is Steve Bannon?

    • Roadstergal

      He seems more like a Dick Tracy villain.

      • Ezio

        Cut out the words “Tracy villain” and I think you’re on to something.

  • Reximus

    Bannon to the Weekly Standard: “The Trump presidency that we fought for, and won, is over”

    https://twitter.com/Bencjacobs/status/898673137369337856

    • UncleTravelingMatt
      • Msgr_MΩment

        I hope he shows up on Capitol Hill loaded down with assault weapons and gets frog-marched the fuck into a federal facility.

    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      Can I blast the Mexican Hat Dance out my window yet?

  • MamaBrown

    I believe Mr. Bannon is actually Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz of the Vogon Constructor Fleet. The resemblance is uncanny.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Enjoy!

      “Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
      Thy micturations are to me,
      As plurdled gabbleblotchits,
      On a lurgid bee,
      That mordiously hath blurted out,
      Its earted jurtles, grumbling
      Into a rancid festering confectious organ squealer. [drowned out by moaning and screaming]
      Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles,
      Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts,
      And living glupules frart and stipulate,
      Like jowling meated liverslime,
      Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes,
      And hooptiously drangle me,
      With crinkly bindlewurdles,mashurbitries.
      Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,
      See if I don’t!”

      • Courser_Resistance

        How I’ve missed Vogon poetry

      • marxalot

        Finally, something that makes sense.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        Donnie’s next EO?

  • Bill D. Burger

    The Last Goodbye __ Interrupted.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C7tvQ4DVAAANPjE.jpg

  • Vincent Ricola

    Bannon is the daughter fucking wildling who sacrifices his sons to the white monsters.

    • Edith Prickly

      Crastor? Yeah.

    • Poly_Ester

      More like Gen. Jack Ripper, always denying women his essence.

    • Thiazin Red

      Winner

    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      I don’t think I want to watch GoT.

    • Skeptical_thinker

      Lot?

  • Ezio

    OT: I started watching the Defenders because it’s out today. The first episode seems a little slow but I’m hoping it picks up.

    • Thiazin Red

      I just really want season 2 of Jessica Jones. I’m hoping for some Hellcat.

      • marxalot

        Moi aussi though, holy fuck, season 1 was one of those times when you cannot binge watch a show. I could take about 3 episodes in a row before I had to stop and go outside. When we got to the bit with the house I about puked.

        • Permit-holder Ron

          It’s the very first time in six decades of TV watching where I felt like I had been physically assaulted during every episode.
          And yet, weirdly, it wasn’t a BAD thing as such. Just… raw.

  • h4rr4r

    More good news!
    Carl Paladino trumpette, racist and overall dick cheese has been kicked off the Buffalo NY school board. Fuck you Carl!
    https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/carl-paladino-former-n-y-gop-gubernatorial-candidate-kicked-off-school-board/

    • About fucking time.

    • Ezio

      Well waddaya know? I guess the swamp is being drained.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Dick Cheese? Really?

      • BloviateMe

        Overall.

      • h4rr4r

        He deserves it. He is a smeg head.

        I went with the most repulsive thing I could think of, on short notice.

  • amrak63

    RUTA-BAYYYY-AY-GA RUTA-BAYYYY-AY-GA RUTA-BAYYYY-AY-GA RUTA-BAYYYY-AY-GA RUTA-BAYYYY-AYYY-AYYY-GA!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhDGiW-qZ2k

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Great album!

    • Courser_Resistance

      Aw, reminds me of my mom. She rotted one in the refrigerator every fall. Must have been some Scot thing she never told me about.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I always thought Rutabaga was a the name of a make of car that went out of business in the 60’s.

  • Edith Prickly

    Long overdue – reporter goes to small town in Tennessee and talks to black and Hispanic people about what Trump’s election has done to them. http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2017/08/we-just-feel-like-we-dont-belong-here-anymore/

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Why? Isn’t it easier to ask white people?

    • Joe Beese

      Trigger Warning: Depressing as fuck.

      • Edith Prickly

        Yeah. The lady telling her housekeeper “I can just own you soon” – har de har har.

        • h4rr4r

          WTF?!

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          That was heartbreaking. And utterly depressing and horrifying. I couldn’t believe it when I saw that. What horrible, horrible people.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Somebody needs a poop pie.

      • BloviateMe

        I like knowing things, but I regretted reading that. Awful.

      • TJ Barke

        Depressing? More like infuriating…

        • Not Flat – ROUND!

          Is there a word that covers both. That’s where I am now.

    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      Why is he ignoring Trump voters? Why doesn’t anyone want to hear their story?

    • miss_grundy

      I read the article and I feel so sorry for POC who are living in Trump country, especially the rural areas. That Republican hoochie who thought that slavery was going to return was sick-scary.

  • Mike Steele

    Lady MS speculates: coup is already underway @ Camp David. Note truncated tweet from seven hours ago, where Trump (or somebody who can spell) starts to signal Putin and his hackers that US Cyber Security is being elevated to…what? Did the generals (or acting Christo-fascist pastor-in-chief) seize his phone? Just sayin’…

    • Nezrite

      Has Trump ever been to Camp David during his term? Why now? This whole thing reeks and I can’t figure out what the angle is this time. Well, soon enough, I guess.

      • Mike Steele

        Once before, IIRC. Guess it’s a bit Green Acres for his (gag) taste.

        • Incoming Ham

          It’s too Green Acres for his “preference.” I wouldn’t use the word “taste” for none exists in or around him.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Yeah, he called it a dump.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Camp David did not have enough gaudy gold-plated tacky shit to suit Donnie’s (so-called) taste.

      • Doug Langley

        Many years back, there was a thriller novel named Night of Camp David. The Prez invites a reporter to Camp David, and as they chat (with the lights out!), the reporter slowly realizes that Prez is stark, raving mad. What can he do? What can he do???

        Of course hopelessly optimistic by today’s standards.

        • Nezrite

          I’m upvoting all the ten-year-old reviews on Amazon that say, “It could even happen!” I’m making strangers feel prescient.

      • miss_grundy

        He wants to hand the military over to Eric Prince or something.

        • Nezrite

          That made my stomach lurch.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Could very well be, give Lady MS a tip of the hat for me. I mentioned this morning that Donnie’s tuning up for a major fucking meltdown. He’s threatening everyone and people are turning their backs on him. He’s basically lost all moral authority and respect.

      Impeachment papers have been drawn up. Many say it’s still too early, but the Rally’s and protests this weekend are going to be fucking epic. In Denver, Capital Steps 1-3 on Sunday. They may feel they have no choice. Wanna bet that Cheeto won’t be back to the White House in a Looooong time?

      • Mike Steele

        Lady MS here, saying tipped hat proves chivalry is not dead:) Don’t see this Congress ever having balls enough to impeach. Kinda agree with his ghostwriter Tony that Donald is crafting a dramatic resignation in which he is the victim and his remaining mouth-breathing base will rise up to vindicate his name…sorta like they still do for Robt E Lee, doncha know.

  • Christopher Story
    • Bitter Scribe

      Danny deVito standing on an apple crate?

  • HazooToo

    There are still people who think that Tina Fey’s sheetcake joke means that she’s telling people to stay home and eat cake instead of resisting, and I would like to know if those people ever go home and sleep, or if they just do nothing but protest 24 hours a day.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      It’s all part of the usual misogyny. Refusal to understand female humor, or to acknowledge the female point of view, or any female person.

      • HazooToo

        Some of it is coming from female persons, or at least persons who claim to be female. I don’t know about you, but I have plenty of time to visit my reps, protest, call congress AND eat fucking cake. And donuts are not a mortal insult to me! What the fuck is their fucking problem?!

        • Courser_Resistance

          Sheetcaking would probably make me puke so I DID have 2 donuts in solidarity. And I have a Long John in reserve! Don’t make me use it. (Too quickly)

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          Well, some people are also fucking morons, there’s also that.

          • Permit-holder Ron

            ‘Never ascribe to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.’

    • shivaskeeper

      See, now I took it as an order. Stay home and eat cake. I assumed pie was acceptable, since I like pie better, but that is just fine detail.

      Are you telling there may have been some nuance to what she was saying? That can’t be. Lady brains aren’t supposed to be nuanced. My whole worldview is now shattered. Everything is a lie.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Have you been hanging out at those alt-right forums again, Shivaskeeper?

        • shivaskeeper

          Nope. But I can channel them pretty good. I think to myself what is a good mix of pig ignorance, misogyny, self righteousness, and self assurance bordering on an ego problem and then type that.

          For the record I do have the self assurance problem, but I try to keep it in check.

      • HazooToo

        I chose nachos. Made with breakfast sausage.

        • shivaskeeper

          Not cake or pie, but I’ll allow it.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        I’m eating a chocolate chip cookie RIGHT NOW instead of performing my civic duties.

        • shivaskeeper

          Chocolate chip always gets a pass. Oatmeal raisin, not so much.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I got it. In fact I gave it strong consideration today while at the store. Alas, sheetcaking would really only be hurting myself, so I decided on a couple of donuts instead.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      “So, what do you think of today’s popular music scene?”
      “I think it distracts people from more important social issues.”
      “My God, are you always on?”

      • HazooToo

        These are the people who are going to go mad before we even get to 2018, then by the time we have a new President, they will not know how to live anymore.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      are they the cakes we liek?

      • HazooToo

        Let’s be honest here, there are very few cakes we don’t like.

    • grindstone

      Dear lord, there are three…THREE…articles on kinja bemoaning her tone-deaf white-ladyness. Damn, those sites are getting tedious.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Poor lil’ creature. Put in time out.

    http://i.imgur.com/SsMhY1A.gifv

  • grindstone

    Open thread? K. Because this emotional, stressful week couldn’t get emotional or stressful enough, to top itself the week decided my workplace would have a layoff today. A big one. One that left so few people that I decided that the only thing worse than being laid off was being kept. I currently have a job but don’t expect to last until Christmas.

    There are only two bright spots: the White House appears to be eating itself, and Tampa raised the money to remove the Confederate monument as a nice “fuck you” to the chickenshit elected officials. Hey stupid officials: MOST of the people here aren’t southerners. As a southerner myself, you can trust me on this!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I’m so sorry to hear that. What an awful week for you.

      • grindstone

        You’re very sweet and I’m being whiny. I still have a job and I should be grateful — you can only be wound so tight for so long and this week was long. Now I think I’ll get tight.

        • SDGeoff3

          And here’s to you! Salut! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d36ecf76fd8488566602975bdd102f8e5a145b46b1f546864c8dcb72e6f9ad67.jpg

          No, seriously. I just raised a very nice adult-flavored beverage to you. I’m not alone.

          • grindstone

            My lovely spouse provided me a tequila shot and a gin and tonic…….my non-commenting may get a bit erratic. And if history repeats, due to the tequila, the filter between my lesser angels and my mouth may disintegrate. In vino may be veritas, but in tequila there is bare-assed raw stream of consciousness.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Yes, you still have a job. But this was still an awful week for you. And it doesn’t sound like work is a garden of delight.

    • Your optimism is respectable. Hat’s off to you and your cause!

      • grindstone

        I thank you. I’m unhappy for my coworkers who are gone — they were a terrific group and made going into the office really nice, complete with a lot of brutal snark — the bulk of them didn’t see this coming so they’re all adrift now. We knew layoffs were coming but were told they would be a. minor, and b. wouldn’t hit our group. Wrong on both counts. I called up all my local contacts and told them a flood of resumes would be coming their way, along with my recommendations. Let’s hope some of them land, and there will be a place for me when my time comes!

    • Doug Langley

      Ouch!!

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Most of the people aren’t southerners, you say?

      Well, whodathunk a state that likes to brag about how they get all the people fleeing tax-and-spend libtard states would have an influx of Not Southerners who might now share in their Confederate fetishizing??? (Not saying that some wouldn’t share that fetish, real talk)

      • grindstone

        Hell, even the governor is a carpet bagger, but there are plenty…PLENTY…of white supremacists and sympathizers.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Must be how he got elected. I can’t say I’ve ever met anyone that admits voting for him.

    • BloviateMe

      Ugh, been thru a few RIFs at work myself, depressing as hell. I’m sorry.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I’m so sorry. My last day of work is next Fri. so I know the anxiety.

      • grindstone

        I’m so sorry. Work anxiety is such a drain, as lots of folks on here know. And for a lot of people “what you do” really is “who you are”.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      I hated those mass layoffs and even worse, I hated being kept on. For the fights over what projects would be kept and which put on hold. Yes, Virginia, in the 80’s they would lay people off and THEN decide what work was needed. In the 90’s, the companies I worked for got smarter and would kill projects and staff associated with those projects. Then they started moving to just hiring contract employees on a project basis.
      But this was IT work for telecommunications companies, so easy to contract out.

      • grindstone

        I’ve been in telecom for 28 years — what you say is true. I’ve seen more than my fair share of layoffs, buyouts, and badge changes. My projects are going to be a bit difficult to kill since I have actual customer POs for the work, just no one to perform the work. Oopsie.

  • BloviateMe

    Bannon: “the Trump Presidency that we fought for, and won, is over.”

    Did we know he said that? First I’d heard. Been dabbling with yard projects.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Yeah, but then he sort of twisted it into some bizarre form of ‘winning’. Everything’s ‘disrupted’, I guess

      I dunno, I really think he was sucking his own cock at the time, so I couldn’t really understand him.

      • BloviateMe

        Well, it’s not like anybody else is going to suck it, so can’t fault him for that.

  • Count Awesome

    Bannon would have to be Stannis, just so the Mooch can be Renly.

  • shoeflyin

    Open thread: Tomorrow, starting at the site of the last white right wing terrorist attacks in Atlanta – the Olympic bomber at Centennial Park – we are marching to the Martin Luther King Jr. center for non-violent social change.

    I’ll be there.

  • Thurman Munster IV

    Isn’t Iago the moor? I don’t think so.

    • Roadstergal

      Iago was the racist fook who messed up the moor’s life.

  • Joe Beese

    “The Trump presidency that we fought for, and won, is over,” Bannon said Friday,shortly after confirming his departure. “We still have a huge movement, and we will make something of this Trump presidency.”

    http://www.theholocaustexplained.org/public/cms/70/92/204/268/yN7eKq_web.jpg

  • SpudRaider

    I’d have to go with Shelob the giant spider. Remember she spawned all the evil spiders

  • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

    Peter Lorre in “Casablanca”?

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    Watching Shark Tank for no reason that I can defend, and I actually felt sorry for this pair of people who got turned down really harshly. Until they were all “they’ll be sorry they’re not involved in this disruptive business.”

    • YoBunnyBunny

      “Disruptive business”

      Ah… so they douche bags probably

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        Obnoxious idiots, at the best.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          What were they trying to sell? Vegan buttholes?

          • Resistance Fighter Astraea

            lmao. They print photos and they’re selling ad space on the back of them, so they can send 20 free prints a month to their app users.

          • jesterpunk

            But dont you normally put photos in frames where the back is hidden?

          • Resistance Fighter Astraea

            Yes, but they claim that people won’t do that to all 20 so they’ll give them to friends and put them in their offices and stuff. But still, who looks at the back?

          • jesterpunk

            Put them in offices on the cork board?

          • Resistance Fighter Astraea

            I assume. THey weren’t very clear.

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            I do for notes about who and when. But I personally only have photos from 1980-1996 or so. Most of my other pictures are digital and need to be annotated. My mom is about the only person I know who still gets pictures printed.

          • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

            I think you normally put photos on your phone where there is no back and no photo, actually.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      I always wonder what sore losers think they’re accomplishing.

  • Ezio
  • HazooToo
    • Can george be president of forever? Dunno about his policy, but the man makes me laugh

  • Spurning Beer

    I don’t know, Dewey. I’m cut in half pretty good.

  • Joe Beese
    • Ezio

      All those guys are like: Man, get a load of this cuck!

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    “The Confederacy are the biggest losers in U.S. history!”

    Trump: “Hold my Diet Coke!”

  • So, ok.
    As you may or may not be aware, I may or may not work for what might or might not be a part of government. Where I work might, or might not, carry with it a certain kind of name that was, at one point, given it in order to keep the locals from screaming about land grabs.
    So we may or may not have got this notice and were on high alert alllll day in case some protesters decided to drop by. The biggest move? 3 parked cars that may or may not indicate law enforcement.
    Little town next door, which lacks monuments, or even streets named after anyone confederate, also had a presence. 20 cars, lights on, jamming up the main drag.
    No one showed up of course, we are NOT a very important part of the world, but it tickles me that the powers that be still think we are

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Give it up, Trump. We know its you.

      • Our local leos have been riding around in riot gear and stuff like, it amused me, so I laughed.
        And then my husband casually remarked that “you know, their budget exceeds the county’s school budget by about 70%” and I was all…
        THE FUCK????

        • Holly

          The police have become a militarized entity. Sadly, it’s no longer “To Serve and Protect”. There’s a serious problem when a woman calls the police for help and is shot and killed by the person who’s supposed to protect her.

          I’m disgusted and sickened that their budget surpasses the schools. The police are becoming subsidized mercenaries.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        she said LAND grabs…

    • Red Bird

      I may or may not have understood that.

    • I know what you mean. I may or may not know myself to be who I think I am on any given day.

      My dogs think I’m the cats meow however.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      I never heard of such grab places being called land.

  • Duke

    It’s just a flesh wound.

    And, sadly, it is.

  • Joe Beese

    Carl C. Icahn, the billionaire investor, is no longer advising President Trump on regulatory matters.

    In his first post on Twitter in three months, Mr. Icahn announced that “with President Trump’s blessing, I ceased to act as a special adviser to the president on issues relating to regulatory reform.” …

    Reached at his home, Mr. Icahn declined to elaborate beyond his letter and Twitter posts on the matter.

    “I am not going to say anything more,” Mr. Icahn said. “I really can’t talk about this.”

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/18/business/dealbook/carl-icahn-trump-adviser.html

    • Right. Because they already killed all the regulations.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        His work was done. No need to hang around with Nazi fuckwit any more.

  • Reximus
  • Joe Beese
    • h4rr4r

      Fired loser is how you spell that correctly.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Alright? Who had “STEVE BANNON IS INTO NECROPHILIA”? Please pick up your winnings at the window.

    • Permit-holder Ron

      Yup, ‘populist hero’ does belong in quotes here.

  • Nounverb911

    bonzo the chimp
    Bozo the clown

  • Mr. Blobfish
  • Red Bird

    OT. So, I have no guess. I’m not a GOT watcher. Bannon can go sit down and be quiet now. If it really is Hope Hicks pulling the strings, then I would like to send her a message via Wonkette non-comments.

    Hope, the next one on your list should be Steve Miller. Then you can do the Russia thing. Okay? Thanks.

    • miss_grundy

      No, it should be a double-play: get rid of Gorka and Miller.

  • Jennifer R
    • Stulexington

      Artfully done.

  • IrishGrudge

    Bannon is Tywin Lannister: A black-hearted, scheming, diabolical Hand of the King hellbent on mercilessly destroying those he felt were beneath him, all while manipulating and controlling his tyrannical, dim-witted, sociopathic, narcissistic adolescent King Joffrey (Trump is Joffrey, obviously).

    • Canned Covfefe

      Wait, which one is Tywin? And what the hell kind of name is that. It’s either on or the other and before you post, no, it can’t be both.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Jaime, Cersei and Tyrion’s father. Died on the john,shot by a crossbow.

        • puredog

          Shot by supposed son, dwarf Tyrion, with a crossbow (significant fact).

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Tywin libelz! He may have been black-hearted, scheming, etc, but he was competent.

      Steve is more like Cersei, who thinks she’s hot shit, but she’s nothing compared to Tyrion.

      • Shibusa

        If only Bannon had to do a Walk of Shame out of the White House, naked, with immigrants and brown people shouting Shame! and pelting him with feces and rotten fruit.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          I’m afraid Bannon doesn’t have Cersei’s body, so that would be as much a punishment for the mob as for Bannon

  • Ezio
  • Fifth-and-a-Half Element

    I vote for Gregor from Kafka’s “Family Guy.”

    https://youtu.be/tfslY_AvhLw

  • Iago believed his wife had slept with Othello, and was pissed that Othello passed him over for promotion. He had his reasons is all I’m saying here.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Holy Crap! While looking for the previous video I just posted, this was suggested. Holy Fucking Shit. Parody, my ass. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38LsVlSVe0Q

    • h4rr4r

      On the bright side Blink has always sucked.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        What’s My Age Again Libelz!!1!1 – one of my favorite karaoke songs, except I sing “53” instead of “23”.

    • Incoming Ham

      What the fuck? I suppose blaming Jews for your problems is easier than trying to better yourself.

      • h4rr4r

        Here is what gets me about all folks like this. Let’s say it really is someone else’s fault, it’s still your fucking problem to deal with. I wish someone could convince my in-laws of that. Nothing is their fault, ever.

        No matter the problem trying harder or fixing themselves never enters into these people’s minds.

    • hendenburg2

      And…. This is what happens when you watch the embedded videos

    • HorseChestnut

      Gross.

  • Joe Beese

    I don’t even call it Game of Thrones any more. I just say Tits and Disembowelment.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Remember when Ian McShane referred to it as just a show about “tits and dragons” and the internet fanboys lost their collective mind?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Ian McShane wasn’t wrong, and he’s had a guest star turn on the show.

        • Incoming Ham

          Ian McShane is rarely wrong.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          I was a little disappointed he wasn’t around longer. Love that guy.
          And yes, he’s not wrong at all.

      • therblig

        yes, but some very nice tits dragons

        • alpacapunchbowl

          And as far as I’m concerned, there’s not a damn thing wrong with that.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Very Important Christian informed me this morning that he would like me to represent his daughter on an alcohol possession charge. He did not like my fee and informed me that billing him for my services would be morally wrong because his daughter is bigly innocent.

    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      Jesus.

    • h4rr4r

      How did you manage to not laugh at him?

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Nah. I referred him to my friend. Now I get to laugh twice.

        • h4rr4r

          Your friend that charges twice as much?

          • Skeptical_thinker

            Only if warned.

        • Shibusa

          If he comes back again refer him to Marc Kasowitz.

    • SDGeoff3

      Wow. So it didn’t happen, huh? Is she a minor?
      Did he get his root canals and bridge work done for free?

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        He actually is a dentist. I nearly asked him if he charges for check-ups if his patients don’t have any cavities.

        • h4rr4r

          You’re an anti-dentite!

        • SDGeoff3

          Well then, we need to know if his fine, upstanding spawn abides by the directions to rinse, lather, and repeat.
          With or without the Oxford Comma.

        • puredog

          You missed a sterling opportunity.

    • shivaskeeper

      You then laughed, correct?

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        I did not. I referred him to a friend (who has it coming because he sent a sovcit to my office last week to waste my time.)

        • shivaskeeper

          Also an acceptable option.

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          This “friend”? Do you play these games often?

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            Not very often. This kind of thing tends to escalate fairly quickly.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      The sanctimonious prick element adds a whole extra level of “yeah, fuck you pal” to that all too common scenario.
      It’s always the ones who can afford it, too.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      IOW- price just went up because of the add-on asshole fee

      • puredog

        Engineer friend of mine bills that as a “pain and boredom surcharge.”

    • Shibusa

      The most righteous gospel of Jesus Christ is called the prosperity gospel. Joel Osteen says so.

      • miss_grundy

        The grifter says what?

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      So did you show him the door, also known as the egress?

    • therblig

      did you tell him to render unto jacoby and meyers what is jacoby’s and meyers’?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Sounds like he missed a primo opportunity to tell the cops that it was morally wrong to arrest her. They usually are good sports, as long as you stress how innocent the ‘victim’ is.

      It may take an hour or two of persuasion….

  • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

    Bannon is SCAR

  • Permit-holder Ron

    I have NO idea what I’ve done to my legs this time, but as I was running food out of the kitchen I realised that I’ve started walking like a gorilla.
    Ook.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      The Trump Administration has begun reducing us all to a less-evolved version of ourselves.

    • Knuckle dragging liberal!

      • To clarify, I walk like I have four moving parts because I have the back of a 200 year old.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      I am walking like Fred Sanford because my feetz be paining.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Now Bannon can spend quality more time trying to reanimate the rotting carcass of Breitbart.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e25f91af3a8a0dc7c661fc6ba457c9502c2a60ef59491894ed638c724b77610a.jpg

    • Beautiful Soup

      That there is why the hide button exists.

    • Stulexington

      Now who’s life force is he going to use to keep going? Trump’s pure hate sustained him for so long he may have a hard time getting another host.

  • Stulexington

    Now make like a tree and get out of here.

  • Ezio
  • hendenburg2

    Duh. Bannon is Ser Alliser “We need this giant wall to keep out the Wildlings” Thorne

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      In a few years no one will remember he existed?

      • hendenburg2

        That would be Steven Miller.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Steve Miller’s character, OTOH, would be Maurice.

  • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

    Okay, let’s see…

    Conservatives react with fury to Bannon’s departure

    So, does mean we’re going to see another drop in the polls for preznit laughing boy? Only this time will, it be with his base of deplorables?

    Just speculatin’

  • dave

    Yeah, but I was being vague for spoiler reasons. I know a lot of people who are a season behind because they wait for the free HBO week to binge-watch it.

    • h4rr4r

      I am a season behind, I watch when Netflix gets the disks.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      I gave up when the sex got really gratuitous with Season 2. But I saw the parts I liked from the books and the show had started to diverge from the books, so I’m good.
      The costumes weren’t even that good, which is a big reason why I watch shows.

  • HazooToo
  • Joe Beese

    Can a Jew and a white nationalist share an office… without driving each other crazy?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fee7dbf052922800a78d2b51aa478c736ab2aab783338b4af74b8621ff0a8dd4.png

    • Everrett Fanuelli
    • TJ Barke

      Evidently not.

    • Me not sure

      A Jew and a White Nationalist walk into an office with two Corinthians…..

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      That’s a sitcom! Get Chuck Lorre on the horn!

      • therblig

        The Big Wang Theory?

  • Reximus
    • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

      I hope you didn’t go in there without a hazmat suit.

    • jesterpunk
    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Give them a hard question and ask them to define communism.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        That thing we were taught to hate!

        • Resistance Fighter Astraea

          Seems legit!

      • marxalot

        Reminds me of the prof I had who stumped our Actual Vietnamese Communist when he asked the room who could define dialectical materialism… and she’d never heard of it.
        Cloak for man’s ambitions, etc.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        That’s evil – I like it!

    • Reximus
      • jesterpunk

        He started his campaign in Alinsky’s living room when Alinsky died in 1972?

        • Beautiful Soup

          Tsk tsk they’re off their game after today’s shocking news.

      • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

        Of course the (((stock market))) is (((rigged))), all of (((those things))) are.

        • jesterpunk

          its all rigged unless it makes Trump look good then its accurate.

          • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

            Do you who else I don’t like saying “rigged” a lot?

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            Horatio Hornblower? Oops, sorry that’s “rigging”.

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        Ask him if the Communists are trying to get things into our precious bodily fluids.

      • Catstro
      • Edith Prickly

        I bet he doesn’t even know Alinsky’s first name. These boneheads just parrot each other.

        • Reximus

          Not important..it sounds ‘edumacated’ to say Alinsky

        • therblig

          sumthin’ jewy, ah bets

      • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy
    • Villago Delenda Est

      These people are not the sharpest spoons in the drawer, you know.

      • SDGeoff3

        I’d say they’re pretty dim bulbs.

    • TJ Barke

      Ignorant simpletons.

    • SDGeoff3

      “One other person is typing”, Melania tweets during sex with POTUS.

      • Reximus

        Unpossible

      • miss_grundy

        I thought she was having a clandestine affair with one of her secret service bodyguards, like in that movie with Whitney Houston.

        • Reximus

          or Hillary…meow

        • TJ Barke

          Allegedly it was the head of security for the Tiffany’s in Chump tower.

    • miss_grundy

      Do these Dead BB commenters realize that their guy is in bed with the ex-Commies, who are now Russians??????

      • Not Flat – ROUND!

        Don’t confuse them with facts!

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Communist = people we don’t like, for reasons we aren’t entirely sure of…

    • (((fka_donnie_d)))

      Most excellent

    • Serai 1

      HEY BOZO WAS NOT A COMMUNIST!!!

  • bbayliss
    • Permit-holder Ron

      Since we’re not allowed to shoot Nazis any more, mocking them unmercifully will just have to do.

  • weejee
  • miss_grundy

    He is king of the White Walkers because he’s a rat bastard.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Herman Göring. Not very attractive, and not terribly competent.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Yep, how in the hell do you give up air superiority that quickly? Although I am glad that he was a junkie and incompetent.

  • II Gosala

    Bannon is clearly a Game of Thrones Xindi Reptilian, interested in nothing but his own power.

    Fortunately the Guardians turned away from him.

  • Notreelyhelping

    I don’t know shit about GOT, but he’s definitely Stephen Gardiner in Wolf Hall.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/02eb31b627c2cd836bf827cab78c643f20168364a27f97de73b7ba29964e2e93.jpg

  • A REAL GAME OF THRONES POEM, I GUESS

    A creepy old man known as Bannon
    Who’s vileness you barely could phantom
    Imagine, if able
    He fucked his own navel
    With sugar-free strawberry Dannon

  • chascates
    • jesterpunk

      Wait how can she do that? Doesnt the right wing bible say something about women not telling men what to do?

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        The book of Timothy – where Paul, who never knew Jesus personally goes all He man Woman Haters Club.

      • Stulexington

        Oh it’s perfectly acceptable for a woman to tell foreigners what to do, just not fellow Muricans.

    • TJ Barke

      Why is this delusional childish simpleton being allowed to talk to grown ups?

      • weejee

        Because Caribou Barbie landed a job as a greeter at the Wahsillysauce Walmart™?

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Thank You Jehovah-God

    • altleftjohn
    • Permit-holder Ron

      Yeah, that’s going to go over REAL well.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    “we’re having a hard time deciding which character in the HBO fantasy hit Steve Bannon most resembles.”

    I don’t have HBO, all I can say is he reminds me of those self-defined intellectuals who sat on the UT Austin campus in the mid 1990’s “debating”…except he got older, fatter, drunker, and meaner.

    Wait? He could be evil, opposite, and future John Oliver…or his show on Showtime?

  • Jamoche

    Hadn’t heard of this guy, but he’s out too:
    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/08/another-white-house-aide-follows-bannon-out-the-door-was-priebus-friend-and-ally/
    “…the White House’s director of the Office of Public Liaison George Sifakis is leaving the administration.”

    Run, little rats, run!

    • jesterpunk
    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      goddamit, how many different names do they have for “Spokesperson.”

      • TJ Barke

        I think you mean Professional Liars.

        • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

          ah yes, duly noted.

    • altleftjohn

      Maybe all this is just Sifakis out . . .

    • Perkniticky

      Public Liaison huh? Maybe he’s tired of having the most publicly hated boss in history.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    “look, you don’t have to watch a show to know things about it”

    If i ever went to dinner parties, i think i’ve absorbed enough to at least nod knowingly.

  • Ezio
  • TootsStansbury

    I don’t watch GOT. Can I try and throw a bucket of water on him to see if he melts? Hey, it explains the obvious aversion to washing.

  • Ezio

    Which Sopranos character is Steve Bannon?

    • jesterpunk

      The dead and bloated one in the back woods?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        You’re going to have to be more specific than that!

        • jesterpunk

          The ugly one.

    • MasRioBravoHombre

      The old asshole Robert Loggia played. The one EVERYBODY agreed needed to be set up with a truck full of merch and sent back to prison where he belonged and fit in well.

    • altleftjohn

      It’s got to be Phil Leotardo.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I have to go with the corrupt cop that Tony had tailing Dr. Melfi.

    • S. Evocotus

      Big Pussy

  • paxpax
    • YoBunnyBunny

      Where’s Hermione, huh?? She was always my favorite!

      • Rags

        Cho Chang libelz!! Love that burrr!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      WHERE THE HELL IS HOT PIE?

    • S. Evocotus

      It was a break!

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    OT (GoT?)

    I just remembered we have tamales!

    (yeah, day 2 of the sleep schedule shift is better than the first, but not by much).

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Well Ari Berman and his guests are officially imbeciles. They somehow believe that since Bannon is out that Trump become a little more mainstream. Oh, and Stephen Miller is a very good adviser who works well with Jared.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      OH FFS.

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        Can’t believe CNN is sounding more practical than MSNBC right now.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Idiots. Bannon is a symptom. Donald is a disease.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    Which mildew stain under your toilet lid is Steve Bannon?

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      It’s more of a stalactite. And I’m pretty sure it isn’t mildew…

    • YoBunnyBunny

      All of them, Katie!!!

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea
    • BloviateMe

      That’s so perfect.

  • CO

    At least on Evangelical has a spine.
    https://twitter.com/ARBernard/status/898661983146397700

  • Joe Beese
    • Beautiful Soup

      I had forgotten about Fake Jan. But I like how the backup dancers are wearing a tribute to Real Jan’s wig.

  • Jamoche

    ACLU, I get where you’re coming from, but really, he is not going to see this as a bug:

    “Add your name right now to our petition telling Trump that a pardon of Arpaio would send a dangerous message that our law enforcement officials are above the law. Absolving Joe Arpaio of his bigoted law-breaking would be another endorsement of racism from this White House.”

    • YoBunnyBunny

      “Absolving Joe Arpaio of his bigoted law-breaking would be ANOTHER endorsement of racism from this White House.”

      Exactly. So why are we even trying to have this conversation???

  • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

    I, personally have never, ever even watched one single nanosecond of Game of Thrones. So, if I post something here in reference to it, I have no fucking clue as to what I’m talking about.

    Just sayin’

    • BloviateMe

      You know nothing Jon Sn…er, Cogswell.

      • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

        Oh, yeah? Well, one time at band camp, there was this guy and… oh, never mind.

    • Serai 1

      This will tell you everything you need to know.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Krz-dyD-UQ

  • Bitter Scribe

    Just finished the second of two freelance articles worth $1,000 each. Now I’m going to dig into a big yummy salad with chunks of grilled chicken, feta cheese and olives. Peace out, y’all.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      yay!!!

    • mancityRed6

      wait, you get paid for your words but you spend them here for free?

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        We are blessed with a lot of good writers.

        • mancityRed6

          I know of a few, but, good lord, it makes all those upvotes even better.

    • Doug Langley

      Celebrate!

    • shivaskeeper

      Very good.

    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      Did you use all the words?

      • Augustus

        all the best words, yes

  • PixieThis

    I just figured it out. He’s not a character on GoT – he’s the “friendly angel” from Star Trek, played by Melvin Belli! (Far away, far to sea, friendly angel, come to me)

    • Stulexington

      Really? I thought he was the giant cave statue that demands food.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        Isn’t that Donnie himself?

    • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

      Now that is something I can identify with and I concur with the observation, wholeheartedly.

      On the other hand, I thought that was one of the worst episodes with those annoying kids.

      Oh, and up-voted for the Star Trek reference.

      • TootsStansbury

        It looks like him an the annoying kids are the Nazi mob. Totally works.

    • “BONK BONK ON THE HEAD!”

      (Or was that Miri…?)

      • PixieThis

        That’s Miri, which has some of the funniest quotes:

        “Back on the ship, I used to try to get you to look at my legs! Captain, look at my legs!” – Rand to Kirk,

        • The one with the ‘Grups’.

          Seems like lots of things got Star Trek names because somebody couldn’t pronounce them propery. Yangs, Colms…

      • therblig

        bonk bonk was miri, the other worst st tos episode featuring children.

    • VirginiaWackelpudding

      You win! He does look like Bannon in a dress.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    lol:

    WASHINGTON — President Trump could use his pardon power for the first time next week if he announces at his Phoenix campaign rally that he’ll wipe away former Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s criminal record.

    But the pardon, if Trump decides to issue it, would be highly unorthodox and break with the Justice Department’s guidelines for clemency, according to legal experts.

    “I am seriously considering a pardon for Sheriff Arpaio,” Trump told Fox News in a recent interview of the six-term sheriff who built a national profile for himself by cracking down on unauthorized immigrants. “He has done a lot in the fight against illegal immigration. He’s a great American patriot, and I hate to see what has happened to him.”

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      That was my very first thought when I heard about the next Klan rally.

    • mancityRed6

      “He’s a great American patriot, and I hate to see what has happened to him.”
      he literally says that about everyone he hears about from “trusted” people

      • george lastrapes

        Joe R. Piehole.

        • mancityRed6

          “did you know he’s a Republican? it’s true, not many people know that. and he’s doing great things, I hear.”
          -tRump.

          • george lastrapes

            Trump: the PeeResident, AKA the Strumpet-in-Chief.
            Help me make a meme! Or two.

    • shivaskeeper

      Breaking with the guidelines and norms is kind of his thing. What about any state charges on Arpaio? Those can’t be pardoned.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        none i know of.

        • shivaskeeper

          That’s what I thought.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            The charges were strictly Federal, based on his defiance of the orders of a Federal judge. Fully within Donald’s purview to pardon.

      • BloviateMe

        I never thought about that. The prez can’t pardon state crimes, only federal?

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Yup

        • shivaskeeper

          Yes, only federal.

    • jesterpunk

      Sheriff Joe had permits.

      • Rags

        Nope

        • jesterpunk

          Well in that case lock him up and throw away the keys.

      • (((fka_donnie_d)))

        Strong support for weaponization of that phrase

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      I hope he does it. In the grand scheme of things, Arpaio isn’t shit – and it will be one more self-inflicted wound for Donnie Dumbass.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i agree.

  • mancityRed6

    9 and 3/4 hours until I have to wake up again to work tomorrow.
    but it’s only 6 hours.
    ugh…

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Six Flags Over Texas, faced with criticism over its longstanding display of a Confederate flag at its main amusement park, has decided to remove the item and display U.S. flags instead, local newspaper reports said on Friday.

    • Picabo

      Fun fact. The six flags were Spain, France, Mexico, Republic of Texas, Confederate States of America, United States of America.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Oddly, one of the few historically based and apolitical displays of a CSA flag. Whatever, though.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    I have a friend who only watches GoT for the stories.

    • Stulexington

      Do they fast forward past the smex or just consider it a bonus?

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I thought there was a series of books for that. Seems inefficient.

  • Michael R
  • chascates
    • Left Coast Tom

      Cool! Christ turned water into wine at Cana, and I plan to open a bottle of Contra Costa Zinfandel tonight.

    • (((fka_donnie_d)))

      They like to pretend their magic book is all sciencey. Look into Zion oil.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        I did, but they don’t make a 5W20 synthetic.

    • Permit-holder Ron

      I am somewhat amused that they came to a correct conclusion by starting from absurd premises.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Heart disease and diabetes don’t exist in the bible, so eat all the Hardees and Chik-fil-A you can, you greasy fucks. (As a bonus, eating at Chik-fil-A and Hardees absolutely infuriates us liberals.)

    • grindstone

      Take a look on the cereal aisle — there are boxes of granola type cereals with bible verses on them. “Biblical eating” is a very very big business among the home-based, quiverfull, etc., evangelical crowd.

      • Incoming Ham

        Nothing says “Jesus” like artificially flavored tiny wheat donuts soaking in bovine lactate.

    • Incoming Ham

      Perhaps Christ didn’t have coeliac like some of us do. If he did he might have spent the last supper in the bathroom.

    • CripesAmighty

      Someone actually spends time pondering this. Ponder that.

  • BloviateMe

    I bet Bannon is a little relieved he doesn’t have to hear about Trump’s amazing electoral college victory anymore.

  • amrak63

    A possible future for After School Tea Time.

    http://i.imgur.com/yWbOtQB.jpg

  • Moebym Reborn

    When you read comments from those on the left that are actually borderline or outright defending Bannon or Trump…

    Who needs enemies when you have “friends”?

    • mancityRed6

      if the words “burn”, “fire”, “fired” or “cannon” don’t come up…they aren’t my friends.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      It’s the idiotic “Nach Hitler, Uns” mentality.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    heh, this is treachery I can agree with:

    Wall Street powerhouse Goldman Sachs is warning investors of a potential government shutdown next month resulting from President Donald Trump’s falling approval rating.

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/08/goldman-sachs-warns-investors-to-expect-government-shutdown-as-trump-support-tanks/

    ‘I choose to end this arrangement’: Economics advisor Carl Icahn quits Donald Trump administration

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/08/i-choose-to-end-this-arrangement-carl-icahn-quits-donald-trump/

    • altleftjohn

      So many rats . . So many . . .

    • YoBunnyBunny

      What happened to giving Trump a chance, huh?

      • Augustus

        they did

        it’s over

  • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

    At this point I’m reduced to posting videos and memes.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bj563ViG7Qg

  • Jamoche

    Someone on Slacktivist thought this was an Onion article:
    http://www.avclub.com/article/steve-bannon-leaving-white-house-spend-more-time-s-259642
    “Steve Bannon leaving White House to spend more time sucking his own cock”
    Not your usual AVClub headline…

    • Catstro

      WaPo got me with one about how Bannon was gone but “laid his eggs in everything before he left”. Had to read it thrice before I realized it wasn’t an Onion headline

  • The Librarian

    I went over to Breitbart to watch the bleeding. It was incredible. Saw a few and upvoted Wonkers there. Liberals were trolling heavily. Loved it. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b164741b779341c6751fa73f1492a5b3c5768adda778ca420701cf1626cd435c.jpg

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    It’s still Friday and not too late (especially here on Mountain Time) for the next bit of BREAKING NEWS to fuck with us.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      That’s what I’m afraid of… i’m almost frightened to go to sleep…

  • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

    Pelosi endorses Democrats’ resolution to censure Trump
    https://www.cbsnews.com/news/house-democrats-introduce-resolution-to-censure-trump/

    • jesterpunk

      But a censure does absolutely nothing, it just says you are bad and should feel bad.

      • Left Coast Tom

        I assume the goal is to make Republicans say whether they think L’il Donnie is “bad”, or “not bad”.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      By the Democrats? It will be more like a cenuncertain than a censure.

    • CripesAmighty

      Not sure this is wise. Gives the chickenshits an ‘out’ if/when it comes time for the Real Deal.

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    I just poured my second glass of cognac (about four fingersworth). I just received another shipment of the cigars I like. I also got a sampler of cigars I have never had before. I am smoking an Alec Bradly Prensado Maduro (Churchill). It’s actually not bad. I am going to place an order for more of those.

    I worked on a cabinet for my front room home theater setup today. But when I checked the news this afternoon, I found out about Bannon. So, I’m celebrating Bannongone, a proclaimed one-time holiday. I love being my own boss, even though that boss is an asshole sometimes.

    • redarmyzombie

      Bannongone…I think there deserves to be a festival every year dedicated to that…

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        I don’t want it to steal the glory from the upcoming Trumpengone.

        • redarmyzombie

          I propose there be an entire period of celebration in between.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Okay, that works for me!

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Edit to previous post. It’s actually Steve Karnacki is the imbecile filling in for Tweety and he just brought up the idea that Bannon being shitcanned may allow the white house to reset. Just waiting for Karnacki to talk about pivoting.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Well, it does seem that talking about pivoting is some sort of Pavlovian response displayed by those dingbats.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The Village has been obsessed with “the pivot” for at least 18 months. They won’t give it up, no matter how obviously wrong it is. Donald cannot change his stripes any more than a leopard can, nor change his spots any more than a tiger can.

  • TJ Barke

    The Trumptanic is sinking, while on fire.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Into an exploding volcano, soon to be struck by a dinosaur-killing meteor.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        While Nickelback plays on the poop deck.

        • mancityRed6

          you go too far, too far

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Thanks, I forgot that part.

      • Left Coast Tom

        Trump is Xenu?

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Sure.

        • Permit-holder Ron

          Makes a weird kind of sense. Anyone know what the CoS’s official stance on Twitler is?

    • And upside down, with Shelley Winters’ and Stella Stevens’ corpses rattling around inside. And a busted-ass Christmas tree.

  • leemoder

    If Bannon is any GoT character, he’s THIS guy…https://youtu.be/hgfbafx137A

  • Finally!

    After years of President Trump suffering under the weight of Clinton appointed deep state infiltrators, our Dear Leader will be able to surround himself with Steves of his own choosing, ya know, the best and brightest Steves, not just your Democrat Party Steve who hate America, but real Steves, the kinda Steve you would feel comfortable letting watch your dog for a few hours, in a public park, on a Sunday afternoon, that kind of Steve! Steves that know words, not the best words, cause we know who knows the best words, but good word, adequate words, plausible words, and the new Steves will be photogenic, so photogenic that our ladies will offer their pussies up to be grabbed, just like our Dear Leader likes em. Think semi mature Rob Lowe Steve. That’s the kinda Stve America is gonna get now!

    !AGAM

  • TootsStansbury

    Did douchebag President tweet something about rebuilding the strongest military ever or some such nonsense? I almost want to join the twittersphere so I can reply to that shit. He really sounds like a parody a dictator. A dictator who is a petulant teenager.

    • mancityRed6

      if Soros was serious, he would pay the full time wages of at least three people to retweet from the tRump’s history every time he tweeted anything.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      I thought we already had the strongest military.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        You also have the weakest military, at the same time. Don’t ask me, I’m as confused as everyone else.

  • Joe Beese
  • jesterpunk
  • JD Mulvey

    All the mainstream news outlets are talking about how Bannon and Trump are now at war.

    Sorry, not buying…

    • TJ Barke

      Time will tell.

      • mancityRed6

        crap, that means I’m gonna have to keep going back to brainfart to check the headlines.

        • TJ Barke

          Why would you do that to yourself? Or your browser?

          • mancityRed6

            mainly at work, or incognito at home…or straight if I feel like picking a fight.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Are you nuts?

          • mancityRed6

            it’s fun to start the day knowing there are people out there fucking up by believing what they do, and knowing it’s worse than you can ever do that day.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Well, and I say this with love, you do you.

          • mancityRed6

            when you start the day at the bottom, there’s nowhere to go but up.

          • Résistance Land Shark Ω

            It’s a daily grind … as bottom keeps getting lowered every, fucking morning.

          • mancityRed6

            I take delight in the littlest things.
            I scared a couple of raccoons the other day when I was going into work. they were at the Nabisco warehouse and they both freaked out when I got out of the car.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I take pleasure in many things.

          • mancityRed6

            that scarouses me.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Jane Austen always should.

          • mancityRed6

            it’s more false promises about what would happen if I read “Pride and Prejudice”
            good lord, that book was drier than War and Peace.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Everybody is entitled to their own taste. I’ve never much cared for Tolstoy. And I adore Miss Jane Austen. You don’t have to agree with me on that.

          • mancityRed6

            agreed. I prefer Thompson, Bukowski, and Hubert Selby Jr.

          • Permit-holder Ron

            Were they on break?

          • mancityRed6

            more so than the coyote or the deer I’ve seen at the same parking lot.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      I would say probably true. But some of the networks are trying to say getting rid of Bannon gets rid of the racism. Steve Karnacki is actually worse than Tweety btw.

    • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent
    • Augustus

      I think the whole clown parade is a complete shit show and no one has any serviceable plan

      and any plans they do have are fucking stupid and will not lead to good outcomes for them or anyone else

    • Robyn Ryan

      Much sound and fury. Battle of the alpha dinosaurs.

    • HazooToo

      Another reported supposedly just got off the phone with Bannon, and said he was going to war FOR Trump. More likely.

    • mancityRed6

      it means even more pro tRump stories at the brainfart.
      (where else would he go?)

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        A hazardous waste dump would suit me just fine.

        • mancityRed6

          same thing?

      • Persistent Demme

        My question.
        Did he ever really leave?

        • mancityRed6

          he’s going back home to brainfart to rally the base.

    • TootsStansbury

      Wrestlemania administration.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        Nowhere near as well-scripted.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Sounds like they’re going after the Republicans which is fine with me.

      “LET THEM FIGHT.”

    • jaspersdad

      Slap fight!

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Bannon is most likely still on payroll. It’s like that other guy whose last name starts with L but I’m too inebriated to remember his name. He was getting paid by Trump campaign and CNN at the same time after he supposedly left the campaign.

    • Persistent Demme

      Not at all.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    Ooh, I gotta get this off my chest. Bear with me, or skip this long-ass post, whatever’s cool.
    So a colleague and I were discussing the local suburb-serving commuter rail (for reasons) and the lines that tend to have the most equipment/scheduling problems and why. My dad worked for the railroad for over 50 years before he passed, the last 20 or so of which were on this particular railroad.
    Now, I didn’t have a good relationship with my dad (this is me being diplomatic) but we sort of came to an understanding. I realized after he was gone that the things he did that made him a shitty father were in very large part a result of untreated PTSD. See, apparently when I was about 3yo, he was pulling his train into the station in Milwaukee. People don’t realize how hard it is to stop a train; even at very low speeds it takes at the very least a quarter mile to stop. So there’s my dad finishing up his run, when a woman steps onto the track in front of him with her toddler daughter at her side. All he could do was try to apply the brakes harder, knowing it wouldn’t do any good, and watch as the two went under the train. He was very very old school about therapy and never got the help he needed. Literally every single thing about it was a pure fucking tragedy.
    So you see, I have some serious feels surrounding the subject.
    Anyway, work buddy and I are talking, and this other guy we share the office with decides to chime in joking that the line to his suburb is super annoying because “we get all the jumpers.” He of course has no way of knowing my background, but you DON’T FUCKING JOKE ABOUT SHIT LIKE THAT. I have a bit of resting bitch face to begin with, but the look I shot him must have really been something because he immediately shut up. And then a few minutes ago when he left for the day, he slunk out of here with nary a goodbye. FUCK HIM.
    Phew. Okay, thanks for letting me type out that novel. I don’t have a therapy group I’m working with right now, so you guys are kind of my therapy group. I really do love our snarky little community.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I don’t blame you at all for your reaction – you are clearly in the right, because jumpers are not funny. Is Other Guy otherwise not a jackass?

      • alpacapunchbowl

        He is. I didn’t realize to what extent though.
        And thanks for the support. I didn’t even realize just how upset it made me until I started typing all that out.

        • mancityRed6

          the ex’s dad was a dogcatcher in Okinawa. even when I was there she was afraid to leave the pups with him for what he might do.
          and, there is a Vietnam documentary out there where she is pretty sure he is the one getting loaded into the helicopter. she says that’s when he got his purple heart.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I’m sorry to hear you have to work with such a person. And of course I know nothing about your work environment. Would it be possible for you to tell him this? In a professional manner?

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Well, we’ll see if that’s necessary. I doubt it’ll come up again and he’s generally easy to ignore. I seem to have made quite an impression on him as it is, and I couldn’t care less if he thinks I’m a bitch.

    • Robyn Ryan

      The Boomers were the last generation to refuse to be Stoic.
      Before that, my grandparents, with their sex, drugs and Jazz decadence.
      I expect great things of millenials.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Yeah, my mom’s a boomer, but he was born a few months before Pearl Harbor. And his parents were real pieces of shit, so one could argue that the poor man was kinda doomed.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Also, I’m an X-er, but can we have sex, drugs, jazz decadence and emotional health? I like all of those things.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Just saying, I really don’t care for generational stereotypes. And I’m a slacking, flannel-wearing, cynical X-er.

        • Robyn Ryan

          I’m an old hippie retired military officer slacker, living on my yacht.
          I got my PhD in American Studies for shots and grins.
          I grok.
          I see patterns.
          Patterns are what makes the universe make sense.
          Stereotypes are caricatures.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      No worries, mate. Type away … we hold this snark to be self-evident that Wonkettes are allowed to vent.

    • TootsStansbury

      How awful. Your poor pops.

    • mancityRed6

      I’m quickly coming up on my first year out of the house and you who were here this time last year were so good to me then.
      this is the place, these are the people.
      I’ll be surprised if I’m not worse a month from now.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        There are many good people here.

        • mancityRed6

          yes, yes there are. and I’ve gotten nothing but support so long as I keep within the guidelines.

          • mancityRed6

            sometimes

        • SnarkON

          On both sides. On both sides.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Why worse a month from now? Will you not have internet access? If so, take full advantage of your local library and remember we’re always here for eachother.

        • mancityRed6

          literally a month from today is my anniversary when I moved out and my first night sleeping in a new place, and a month from yesterday is a month from my wedding anniversary.
          yeah.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Ooh yeah, the anniversaries of big life changes, birthdays of the deceased, stuff like that is really rough. It sounds like you at least know it’s coming and to be prepared for it, not that it’ll be any easier than if it crept up on you.
            But we’re here for you. Always remember that.

          • Permit-holder Ron

            Been there and so forth. It takes a long time before you stop counting the anniversaries. But IME talking about it – and knowing you’re not alone – help a LOT.

          • mancityRed6

            the first one was easy, we weren’t friends on the facespace and she was over 4000 miles away and gone for 7 months when she told me.
            I still haven’t been told. and I’m gonna re up for my apartment this next week.

          • Permit-holder Ron

            Sounds like you’re still moving along. Sometimes that’s the best you can hope for, and that eventually you end up some place better.

    • PixieThis

      I always freak out about the jumpers. But the person my heart really goes out to is the driver! It’s just heartbreaking to imagine witnessing that and knowing you can’t stop the train in time. I get mad about issues on our commute train almost daily, but never the accidents like that or the suicides. Just awful.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        As someone who grew up with the aftermath, yeah, it’s really awful. And I struggled with suicidal ideation in the past, so I know how dark those people’s lives must be to actually go through with it and that evokes pure sorrow as well.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I have been on and off disability for depression, bipolar, and mild PTSD. I can relate. Some people just don’t know any better and they will say things that set me off. Usually when at work. I have developed a very solid game face for that.

      It does not mean that at the end of the day I don’t need a friend to help “peel me off of the ceiling.”

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Amen to that. Gotta have a support network.

    • Persistent Demme

      Oh, your poor dad!
      I’ve always worried about the train driver in those situations.
      So much damage!
      This is the terrible flip side of a culture that (usually) values life.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        I really wish I could’ve gotten him to go to therapy, even though that was obviously not my responsibility as the child.
        The EMDR technique was literally developed initially to treat train engineers who had this sort of experience.

    • SnarkON

      UGH, that’s awful. Maybe when you’re feeling less raw you can have a reasoned chat with the coworker. Of course he didn’t mean what he said literally, but we could all use a good reminder once in a while that suicide really isn’t funny.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Eh, maybe. He’s a grown-ass man with HS aged kids and seems set in his ways. If he makes any more cracks I’ll say something so he at least knows to STFU.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    You know, I step away for 20 minutes, and there are 959 new comments. This is why we can’t have nice things, people!

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      The president makes me do it!

    • aktlib101

      Slow Friday

  • therblig

    Bannon is Tyfefe Lanister, the one they never talk about.

  • redarmyzombie

    He’s The Necromancer, waiting in his tower before By-Tor makes his attack.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3Hn8ywmjEI

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      Snow Dog orGTFO

  • Michael R
    • cold sore…. Kelly Anne?

      I’m just sayin’…

  • mancityRed6

    edited

  • Reximus
    • TJ Barke

      Ew, don’t lead those shitlickers back here…

      • Reximus

        Might buy a mug?

        • Left Coast Tom

          Hopefully they buy enough mugs to pay for all the added banhammer duty Dok will have to do.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        I wouldn’t worry too much. They won’t want to come over here while this shit’s going on, any more than we’d be heading over there if Donnie was being all “presidential.”

        • Left Coast Tom

          Yeah, but we all know the “Donnie being all ‘presidential'” thing is never going to happen.

    • TootsStansbury

      The funniest dead brightfart comment I saw was “I’m moving to Canada”.

      • Reximus

        Ya we love them fake Nazis

        • Yeah….wait til they meet Canada’s hate speech laws

          • Permit-holder Ron

            Yeah, better stay where you are, son
            – Ernst Zündel, freshly dead

      • (((fka_donnie_d)))

        Isn’t that just perfect? Liberals understand incrementalism. The second entitled conservative white boys think their administration isn’t all of the batshit, they head for the hills.

        Fair weather Patriot, thy name is dead breitbart .

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      They deleted my post :(

      “Human ashtray crawls back to old job.”

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Great. New “friends”. And I’m not referring to our new folks from Media Matters, who seem charming for realz.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    OT: 21 new blu rays coming next week! Yes.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Such a well-oiled machine. So much winning!

    http://mkjon.es/gifs/fail_f1_car_wheels_fall_off.gif

  • Robyn Ryan
  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Bannon is a Whitewalker.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Now Karnacki is trying to propose that maybe Trump is racist because he watched All in the Family

    • jesterpunk
    • Serai 1

      I could so see Twitler watching that show and taking from it the message that it’s reasonable to be racist. He’s that thick.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        As thick as Karnacki?

  • LET THE BANNON/TRUMP WAR……………….BEGIN!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyeKYQdYISg

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Now Steve Karnacki is confused because Trump in 2000 said the Reform Party shouldn’t have bigots like Duke.

    • He said that because, in 2000, it was before the decade long crusade against the black guy where Fox et all groomed the American public to be okie dokie with racism.

  • Bannon is Slim shady after a constant diet of Quarter pounders, fries, meth, and 30 years.
    \https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVkUvmDQ3HY

    and now he’s gone…

    it seems so empty without he

    • Red Bird

      Been a while since I heard this one.

      • You’ll be saying this about steve

        • Red Bird

          Oh you again. Yes, I probably will. Steve’s special. But I think I’ll feel more grief about not seeing Brad anymore.

          • good grief

          • Red Bird

            Awww Snoopy!

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      No love for Eminem or the genre, but this video always makes me laugh.

      • It just makes…. *so much sense*!!

    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      And no longer being down low bait also too.

  • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist
  • Everrett Fanuelli

    David Kay Johnston just explained that Trump takes a position on whatever gives him an advantage and that’s why he turned into a racist. Steve Karnacki is just curious to know what made Donald change from a guy that spoke out against racists in 2000 to being a racist now. David Kay Johnston already explained that to Karnacki. Karnacki isn’t very bright.

    • He was always a racist.
      Time for them to stop explaining it away. He was never not a racist.

  • Pat_Pending

    Before we get too happy, all that’s gonna happen is Bannon goes back to Dead Breitbart to go ‘take meetings’ with the Mercers. Trump will do his shitstorm, and then when he leaves before Mueller can get him (and gives cover to the Repubs who won’t call for impeachment) he and Bannon will start their media empire and tell their minions that it’s time for the second civil war since these morons are already locked and loaded. And who is going to take over when Trump goes? There’s nobody in the line of succession that’s trustworthy. I don’t know how we’re going to get cooler heads to prevail without bloodshed.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I really wonder how happy the people who have been running Dead Breitbart will be to see him back.

  • BloviateMe
    • Red Bird

      Cute. Slightly unrelated but once I lived in an apartment complex and had a little weenie dog. The apartment manager would always call my dog Charlie even after I told her that wasn’t his name. The whole time I thought she was weird and stubborn but when I was moving out and stopped to drop off the key she told me that her daughter’s weenie dog was named Charlie. So my dog reminded her of him. That is all.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
  • Joe Beese

    You could hear the frustration in [the senior Republican congressman’s] voice. “He just can’t shut up…. And we go home and everybody blames us for what’s going on. I don’t think the people on TV understand that most people still hate us more than him, but he’s making it even harder. We may be the turd in the field, but he’s the worm in the turd.”…

    Here’s the big thing though. With all the frustration the congressman says there are no grounds to impeach the President. The consensus, even among senior Democrats, is that impeachment cannot be done just because the President is an idiot or a sympathizer of white supremacists. There must be a crime and right now there is no sign. “I hate to say it, but some of us would really like Mueller to find something we can use,” he said. I asked if he was one of those and all he said was “maybe.”

    http://theresurgent.com/the-worm-in-the-turd-impeachment-talk-from-a-frustrated-republican-congressman/

    • And we go home and everybody blames us for what’s going on

      WOW! He knows what it is like to be black, or muslim now!!!!
      Here’s a thought, sparky….why don’t you renounce him every time he opens his dumb yap?

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      The Worm in the Turd! Ha!

    • Jamoche

      Article fucking 25.

    • Lord Jim

      No. It doesn’t require a criminal act to qualify a President for impeachment.

      Impeachment will “proceed from the misconduct of public men, or, in other words,
      from the abuse or violation of some public trust,” and “they relate chiefly to injuries done immediately to the society itself.”

      — Alexander Hamilton, The Federalist, 1788

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Situations in which it’s forgivable to say “cock” in front of your 60+ year old mother:

    1) She’s trying to remember the name of the Koch Brothers and you’re so exhausted you mispronounce it.

    THE END.

    (You people have ruined me!)

    • redarmyzombie

      You’re welcome.

    • she’s 60, mate, not dead.
      Chances are she is okie dokie with an occasional cock. At least one anyway….

      I will show myself out now.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        lol.

        But some words just aren’t used in front of MAMA!

        Look, I’m a texas prude, whaddayawant.

        (When discussing TV shows like GoT, she used to cut you off and say, “okay, so not safe for mommies.”)

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Meh. I leave a trail of occupied fainting couches behind me as I go through my day.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            and it’s people like me who placed said couches just KNOWING they’d be needed someday.

            ; )

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Good on ya! I’m just carrying on General Sherman’s tradition in my own way.

        • Man I am doing mommy wrong.
          I told my kids a tit joke the other day.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            well, tit jokes are prolly okay, IIRC. (I’m the prude, she was doesn’t give a fuck anymore hippy).

            She just doesn’t like violent, foul-mouthered, and/or rapey shows.

            (no slam on GoT, I’ve never seen it, but, jeez, does ANYTHING HAPPY happen on that show?)

        • redarmyzombie

          Eh, I’m from California. Things like Shit Fucking Cocksucker fall just shy outside of everyday parlance…

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I worked in kitchens for 15 years. Words. Cannot. Shock. Me.

    • Ruined or IMPROVED?

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      What “Koch” is not pronounced “Cock”?

      I hate my life.

      • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

        “Coke”

        I was trying to remember how to pronounce Ed Koch the other day. Is it “kawtch”? I think it is.

        • RobespierreHoo

          It is.

        • Permit-holder Ron

          Rhymes with ‘crotch.’ For reasons.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      I remember the first time I accidentally said dick instead of penis in conversation with my mother (don’t ask). I heard myself saying it and was MORTIFIED. I think I was about 9 at the time. Fortunately she just laughed and said (I shit you not), “that’s okay, pumpkin, you can call it whatever you want”.

    • Wolf Tracker

      Take it like a man and laugh.

      My mom used to hit me at least once week for something I said and now she is gone.

      I miss those times.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        lol. Actually, she didn’t say a word, I just thought it was something that would make y’all laff.

        (also, I was so pleased as a teenager when I was eventually, tacitly, allowed to curse and stay out late).

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Perhaps when having an innocent discussion about gentleman chickens?

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        ah, yes!

        I knew y’all would come up with more.

        ; )

    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      Can you say “schlong” instead?

  • aktlib101

    PANIC ! (<– your friendly overlords of Goldman Sachs)
    "Goldman Sachs warns investors to expect government shutdown as Trump support tanks"
    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/08/goldman-sachs-warns-investors-to-expect-government-shutdown-as-trump-support-tanks/

    "Wall Street powerhouse Goldman Sachs is warning investors of a potential government shutdown next month resulting from President Donald Trump’s falling approval rating.

    “Presidential approval continues to decline, and is the lowest for any first-term president in his first year in office,” economist Alec Phillips warned clients Friday. “Low approval ratings raise legislative risks. In the near term, we believe there is a 50% chance of a brief government shutdown, as the president seeks to solidify support among his base by embracing more controversial positions.”

    • Won’t be a shut down if the Senate overrides the veto.
      Time to work with those icky Dems, Turtle boy!

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Steve Kornacki, Ladies and Gentlemen. The living embodiment of confused stupidity.
    https://www.out.com/sites/out.com/files/2014/_MG_4676a.jpg

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Derpus exudimus.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Chris Cillizza says: “What about me! Two sides!”

      • Joe Beese

        Cillizza’s analysis has convinced me not to look at the eclipse without protective eyewear.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Cillizza is the poster boy for the disease called Broderism.

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    Fuck! Letting a big cigar ash fall in your lap is murder when you aren’t wearing pants. {{{Fetal Position}}}

    • This one time, in college, I was way stoned and such and I was smoking and I dropped my cig down my cleavage.
      but I was stoned, so I just went…ow….ow…ow….as I very slowly and without a lot of coordination tried to fish it out. Took five or six ows to do it.
      Moral of the story: smoking kills

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Interesting!

        • The scar faded after ten years or so, if that helps you any?

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Thanks. Glad to hear that.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        bah, call me when you drop one in your chair near your taint.

        (kidding!)

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          {{{Resumes fetal position}}}

        • mancityRed6

          and when you’re car is moving, no less.
          worse than when you realize there’s a bee in there.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            ah yes, taint burns at 60 mph.

            Excellent point.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Are taints at 60 mph flammable or merely combustible?

          • Y R you people driving 60 MPH naked and smoking with your ass?

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Is this a problem?

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            When I was driving to yunior college as a yoot I took off for the first day of a semester in my car. I had not driven it for some time before that. As I got going on the highway, a medium-sized black widow spider appeared under the dashboard. It looked a lot bigger for some reason.

            I survived. After a fashion.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            oh man, very quickly after I started working in downtown miami, I pulled out of the parking garage, stopped at the first light and was made aware of a goddamn iguana clinging to the side of my car. It wasn’t an adult, but those bastards are big.

          • mancityRed6

            I’ve pulled over on a highway after a bee came in the car.
            I’d burn it down for that.

          • HogeyeGrex

            Try one in your motorcycle helmet.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            oh, that’s a gnarly one. I hate getting ash (and a hot one!) in my eye, but on a bike that’s gotta be deadly.

          • HogeyeGrex

            I was thinking of the bee. Talk about panic mode.
            fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

          • mancityRed6

            no thank you very much.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            I ran over a tree when that happened to me in HS (it was a very young tree). My parents legit didn’t know I smoked. They chain-smoked in the house so they couldn’t smell it, but I did have to start buying my own when my dad noticed his cartons of Marlboro reds were dwindling more quickly than usual.
            That was fun trying to explain what happened.

          • mancityRed6

            I used to sit on the corner until the tree (a young tree) that was there got ran over.
            then grandma used to tell me not to sit there since she had a sibling that got hit by a car that missed a corner.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Yeesh. Yeah I was lucky I didn’t hurt anyone, honestly.

          • mancityRed6

            I was awake in the summer I was 16. I heard a car crash, but I didn’t care.
            there was a guy I worked with at Mickey D’s, and he was trading anyone for more hours to fix his car.
            I mentioned I heard a crash but didn’t care enough to look, he called me a bastard and said that was him.

        • I’ve come close, but that was about the time I decided to give up one of those two things.
          Mostly because /kids and /not yet legal in my state.

      • The Librarian

        Lol. A zillion years ago I lit my cig with a match and the whole book of matches blew up in my face and burned my chin. I can’t tell you the humiliation I suffered with everyone teasing me about “rug burns”.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          I always burn myself with matches after the third glass of cognac. But then, even my triple-flame lighter becomes a lethal self-inflicted weapon under those conditions.

        • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

          oooh, yeah. you know its time to trim your noise hairs when you light up and smell burnt hair.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            To be fair, there are cigars out there that smell that way when lit. Astonishingly, the makers remain in business.

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        This one time in college, several friends and I were sitting in a circle passing a joint around. I was extremely intoxicated and, for some reason (probably because I was intoxicated), thought someone was handing me candy, so I grabbed it! I burned my hand, and destroyed the joint while smashing it into the ground, while also wondering, ‘why did the candy bite me?’ Followed by, “Awwwwww! Nice going man!” from everyone.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Since you are alive to relate this story, your friends must have been sufficiently high at the time, yes?

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Remember how lighters used to have those flame adjustor thingies? My college boyfriend was a total fucking dumbass and he would pop the top off and play around with it until the flame was, no shit, almost a foot high. We reserved other lighters for smoking reefers.
          So a group of us are sitting around his living room one night passing a bowl. It comes to me, I pick up a lighter next to me, go to light the bowl, and I HAD PICKED UP THE GODDAM FLAMETHROWER LIGHTER.
          It really only startled me until I went to the bathroom about an hour later and saw in the mirror that I had singed off the inner section of both of my eyebrows and what was left was so light-colored that it looked like I had used an entire bottle of Sun-In.
          Fuckin’ Tom.
          Anyway, they grew back.

    • Joe Beese

      I apologize if I’ve told this story before.

      The first time I smoked a cigar was at the encouragement of a friend. He explained that I should bite a bit off the end to create a hole the smoke could come through.

      To his horror, I chomped off an entire 1/4″. When he asked why, I thought about it for a moment. Then I had to admit, “That’s the way J. Jonah Jameson always did it.”

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        LOL! If I find out that was a fine top-shelf cigar, I will cry. Such as waste!

        I have a toolbox of devices and assorted paraphanalia (fuck spelling) for making an efficient hole at the end of cigars for my smoking pleasure. My teeth are reserved for other purposes.

        • Joe Beese

          Dry your eyes. It was a two dollar special from a diner we used to go to.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Oh, I am relieved. Those turds are better eaten than smoked anyway.

        • The Librarian

          My dad was a cigar aficionado. He also had his box of accoutrements for his cigars. :)

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Lebowski libelz. Are you listening to Creedence?

  • Joe Beese

    Rush Limbaugh says he would not be surprised if the RNC was counting impeachment votes.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4O28qoP42Y

    • Rush is now anti establishment?

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i thought that do – but he’s such a cheerleader, I’m guessing he’s referring to it in a “TRAITORS!” kind of way.

        • AAAhhhh I see. Also, he DOES know that it takes Congress to impeach and not…the RNC, right?

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            haven’t you heard? A president has unlimited power and should never criticized*

            *Unless it’s a black guy or a democrat.

    • Reximus

      THEY ARE counting impeachment votes

    • mancityRed6

      grifters gotta grift.
      how big is his market share, now?

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Brooke Baldwin brings her snark “A” game today. I move that she be declared an honourary Wonker:

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/08/sorry-this-is-long-watch-cnns-baldwin-stop-for-water-as-she-tries-to-read-an-unending-list-of-trump-failures/

    • I thought we did that after her “AoT, K” moment with Twitler’s moan lawyer last year?

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        Well then, some of those cakes we like.

        I wonder if she’s wearing pants?

        Oh hell – I’ll be in my bunk…

      • mancityRed6

        you said “moan”

        • I am surreptitiously Wonking at work

          • mancityRed6

            on a Friday night, no less…you rebel, you.

          • I’m working all fucking weekend too

          • mancityRed6

            tomorrow, for six hours until 11:30 CST. but I do have Mon and Tue off. yay!

          • This is the first of 8 consecutive, and i am on call for 12 hrs in addition to my working hours tomorrow and sunday

          • amrak63

            Aren’t you worried about going blind and crazy with hairy palms?

          • mancityRed6

            if it hasn’t happened to me yet, it’s not gonna to anyone.

    • The Librarian

      I second, she was fabulous.

  • Bec Jenn

    Any AZ peeps going to protest on the 22nd in downtown Phoenix? I’m hoping to be there, but my husband doesn’t want me to go…too much potential for violence. I think he doesn’t want me to tire myself out either as I’m just barely being able to leave home as I’m getting a wee bit better with my AI issues.

    Okay, now that I went off on a tangent, any Wonkers going to be there?

    • He could go with and push you in a chair?

      • Bec Jenn

        Alas, he has to work.

        • vacay or sick day mebbe? I just got a gig with those, well, vacation days not sick, so I do know not everyone has those :Hugs: If your health is fragile though, without someone with you, you might wanna skip this one.

    • mancityRed6

      at this point, I’d suggest wearing a good backpack and getting one of those collapsible batons.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        needz moar waterballoons…just tell cops its to cool them off in the heat.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Oh geez, one of my friends has a collapsible truncheon and he drunkenly ran around after the Pride parade this year asking people what they thought it was.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        Err, IIRC those are REALLY illegal. No, the batons, not the backpacks.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I’ve got tickets for the shitshow and a possible ride up with some other lib riffraff, but probably won’t have the time to make it work-wise.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      If you have any physical issues, I’d suggest staying away. It could get ugly. You don’t want to get caught up in a mob scene.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        If he pardons Arpaio, I can pretty much guarantee you it’s going to get ugly. That’s his whole plan.

        • DrBigHead

          I certainly do not want to see violence, but part of me wants to see him pardon Arpaio. That would only further galvanize the opposition.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            No one wants violence, except for Trump. The mayor of Phoenix believes Trump is coming to Phoenix to pardon Arpaio specifically to create civic unrest and possible rioting. Chew on that for a bit. MAGA!

    • DrBigHead

      I would live to be there..I understand Raul Grijalva plans to attend.

    • yyyaz

      I’m tentatively planning to drive down from the north country with my youngest (he’s 21), but I’m gonna have to scrape up some dough to do it. Fingers crossed.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I have a commitment to redo the wallpaper in my birdhouses on the 22nd. So, no.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Doctor Who, Season 10 Episode 12:

    Doctor: Like sewage, smart phones, Donald Trump, some things are just inevitable.
    Missy: Doctor! Doctor, have you done something? What’s happening?
    Doctor: People get the Cybermen wrong. They have no evil plan, no evil genius, just parallel evolution.
    The Master: Doctor! What have you done?
    The Doctor: People plus technology minus humanity. The Internet. Cyberspace. Cybermen. Always read the comments, because one day, they’ll be an army.

    Go for it, army.

  • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly
  • alwayspunkindrublic

    So, anything good happen today? I heard they ran off that homeless drunk that was hanging around the White House always shouting about white power.

    • Meh.
      On the one hand, fuck the white power. On the other, another homeless person targeted and run off.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Did they take him to a shelter?

        • Permit-holder Ron

          Dead Breitbart’s Home for Indigent Nazis.

    • Wolf Tracker

      Just another crusty confederate monument removed.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Nope. He’s still there. Bannon got fired though!

    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      I was reminded that the events of the past week or so have occurred while Donnie was on vacation.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        Think of how much more damage he’ll be able to do when he gets back to work!
        <snerks>
        I know, ‘back to work.’

    • Left Coast Tom

      that homeless drunk that was hanging around the White House always shouting about white power

      Which one?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        “Eenie, meenie…”

    • mancityRed6

      I’ll have you know I’m still here…oh, wait.

  • Michael R
  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    The silence is defeaning (also he’s tweeted the word Bedminster almost twice as many times as he’s mentioned Heather Heyer’s name)

    https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/898685249726578688

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      I think that’s code for we’re all gonna die.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      “No one gives a shit about what you have to say, Mr. Preznit.”

    • therblig

      off to get his dick smacked by kelly and mcmaster.

    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      The military that implicitly censured him a couple days ago?

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        also the wall he hasn’t built yet.

        • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

          Wasn’t he going to defeat ISIS in 90 days?

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            ayup.

            Also repeal the ACA and the wall going, IIRC.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      By teh way, i just remembered he supposedly hate camp david – hence the “there-and-back in a day trip”

      • Courser_Resistance

        He does. He called it a dump. Pigman’s back in his pen.

    • Panika MCD

      what happened to you sleeping sometime this week?

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        noooo, i said i couldn’t do actual thinking anymore. I still have some snark left in me.
        : P

        (I need to stay up for three more hours, I just couldn’t focus on drafting anymore).

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      No matter what should happen, no matter if the son of a bitch should be dragged out of the Oval Office in handcuffs, or he resigns, or he has a stroke tweeting some bilious garbage while sitting, constipated, on the shitter at 5 AM – no matter WHAT – I will never recover from having seen the words President* Donald J. Trump written out.

      Never

      • alpacapunchbowl

        That combination of words will never cross my lips. Never.

    • Mike Steele

      did he ever finish tweet about US Cyber Security?

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i was thrown by that too – if you look at that tweent he puts “cont’d” right before a link. The link has the rest of the statement.

  • Wolf Tracker

    Trump’s Russian mafia buddy Felix Sater is running his mouth that he will spill the beans on Trump for a deal from Mueller.

    Sater has a lot he could tell!

  • Moebym Reborn
  • Apparently Alex Jones is running amok in Seattle. https://twitter.com/joeltyler_/status/898573996945539075

    • Panika MCD

      if you encounter an Alex Jones, feed him chili and he will fall asleep.

      • Left Coast Tom

        Seattle isn’t known for the quality of its chili. Salmon, yes.

        • Hmmmm, salmon chili?

        • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

          (scratches seattle off to visit list).

          Kidding! I’ll do rain…but not fucking fish.

          • Panika MCD

            you’re not supposed to fuck fish, you’re supposed to eat it.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            ahhh, that’s where i’ve been going wrong.

            For real though, i don’t do fish.

          • That you repeated “I do not do fish” only endears you more.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            gah!

            yeah, 2 hours, 45 minutes till bed.

            At least I didn’t have to go over 24 hours like yesterday.

          • Somewhere there are a bunch of dolphins cheering? (And yes, I know dolphins are aquatic mammals, not fish. But sometimes we have to sacrifice scientific accuracy to make a joke.)

          • phoenix00

            … coffee then?

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            the weather is still number 1

            i have terrible taste in coffee. i love my instant brand, fast easy and tasty.
            (this may get me more hate than my love of well done meat).

          • phoenix00

            …… you better not say canned clams, cuz that’s two strikes my friend………

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            i’m not a monster!

        • Panika MCD

          who said he deserved quality chili? he eat Rudy’s BBQ.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            thank you! I’m not sure why people swear by that place.

            I went once, the place was filthy, the tables greasy, and the food on par with fast food.

          • Panika MCD

            he also puts sauce on his brisket…who does that?!

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            (looks at shoes, whistles)

            Depends on the sauce.

          • Panika MCD

            on brisket? I get it on pulled pork and what not…but brisket?

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            eh, a little heaping is nice. Not dunked or slathered like ribs.

          • Panika MCD

            you’re eating the wrong brisket.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            no, i just have terrible taste.

            A little Stubb’s brisket with some slightly smoky and spicy bit of their warm sauce is great.

            (although, it’s been a long damn time).

            The sauce is good for less expensive tri-tips, which are lower quality)

          • Jenny

            I thought it was fast food? The closest one to me catches fire every year.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            well, i mean the one near UT was a sit down joint – but yeah, VERY much like bad fast food. For some reason, chik-fila comes to mind.

            Also…I hope you’re a safe distance from the Rudy’s near you!

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        and run like Hell. Grab your gas mask.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Alex needed to sit down for an hour after this physical exertion

    • phoenix00

      Wild animal on the loose!

    • Courser_Resistance

      Fucking Christ! He’s chasing people down the street like a rabid dog! Quick! Call Animal Control!

  • Serai 1
  • paranormal ancient Bigfoot alien astronauts back from the dead.

  • More on the toxic avenger running amok in Seattle. https://twitter.com/pgcornwell/status/898412935831199748

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      well fucking done Seattle!

    • mancityRed6

      I’m disappointed. I thought Toxie (or at least someone in a costume) was running around Seattle.

    • I love how Alex is being utterly humiliated for posterity.
      It is good for him

    • CripesAmighty

      FLOOOOUUUURRRIDE!

      • Panika MCD

        don’t forget the chemtrails!

    • Left Coast Tom

      Why, exactly, is this idiot in Seattle, anyway? Did he get lost?

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i GUARANTEE you, he’s selling it as brave infiltration of the ultra-violent left’s HQ.

        • Courser_Resistance

          LOLOL Doesn’t he know that everyone in Portland and Seattle is baked? They couldn’t gin up enough ‘ultra-violence’ to light a fucking BBQ grill.

          j/k – mostly

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        He decided to go to Washington to get closer to the president?

    • Dazza

      Worst drag queen EVER. Needs more glitter.

  • Tin foil hat time.
    What if Trump is on purpose? The GOP has been losing ground of late, and they know it, hence the desperate gerrymandering, voter suppression, etc etc etc. They turned to the both sides do it!!! thing and lambasted anyone who told the straight story without an op ed as “biased” for a few decades, until the press by default have, generally, 1 liberal for every 10 conservatives. Voting enthusiasm drops more and more yearly.
    But they have to gerry even more to keep power. Then they have to start changing laws to keep power. People are starting to catch on. Then a black guy, of all things, gets elected and they have the perfect dodge to force feed America as they work, diligently, to sink the nation.
    But Bamz was a surprising success despite their best efforts. They were not able to quite clinch the deal and destroy education entirely, and destroy workers rights entirely.
    So then they think, how can we get people to like us again without having to actually reach out to anyone?
    And someone comes up with “What if we get the most vile piece of shit in the world elected, so that we seem palatable by comparison? I know this guy in Russia who could help….”

    • Panika MCD

      nah, I think Russia meddled in the primary.

    • bupkus231

      “What if we get the most vile piece of shit in the world elected, so that we seem palatable by comparison?”

      Talk about mis-calculation.

    • aktlib101

      Heh, way too complicated for republicans. It’s primarily Russia + Racism. Aided by the loss of manufacturing jobs and the decay of rural communities that depended on coal, oil and various factories that moved to East Asia.

      • aktlib101

        Oh, I forgot. And guns, god and abortion. Because brain disease.