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All he needs is this flag…and Bannon…and his loyal sycophants [GRRR!] He doesn’t need his sycophants
After people kept quitting because of his bizarro-world comments on Charlottesville, the remaining members of Donald Trump’s little business advisory groups decided Wednesday morning to pack it in and dissolve the councils. The Manufacturing Council and the Strategy & Policy Forum both called it quits, possibly because there weren’t enough people left to meet the minimum order for free takeout delivery.

JP Morgan Chase chief executive Jamie Dimon, a member of the “Strategy & Policy Forum,” told employees in a note on Wednesday that his group decided to disband following Trump’s bizarre press conference on Tuesday […]

“Constructive economic and regulatory policies are not enough and will not matter if we do not address the divisions in our country,” Dimon wrote his employees. ”It is a leader’s role, in business or government, to bring people together, not tear them apart.

Besides, Dimon didn’t actually add, there was no point in JPMorgan Chase offering advice to an administration staffed mostly by Goldman Sachs guys.

The Manufacturing Council, which has been shedding members like a Chromodoris reticulata colony, lost the heads of Campbell Soup, 3M, and General Electric today, and it’s unclear whether enough Captains of Industry remained in the group to put away the coffee maker and turn out the lights.

Naturally enough, once a critical mass of the group members had, like panicked cephalopods, vanished in a protective inky cloud of statements denouncing Trump’s handling of Charlottesville, the result was predictable. Trump announced Wednesday afternoon that he was dissolving the CEO panels because they were no good, and it was all his idea in the first place anyway.

Oh look, a tweet:

At Tuesday’s Lie-A-Thon, Trump had insisted one of the main reasons CEOs were fleeing the councils was that he had been “pressuring” them to stop manufacturing shit overseas and bring those jobs back to America, and that was all. Because what CEO could possibly resist the moral suasion of Donald “I make my branded shit in China because I have no choice” Trump? Frankly, we’re surprised Trump didn’t simply restock the councils with Chinese CEOs. He knows some Russians too, we hear …

Dead Breitbart’s Internet Dogwhistle Emporium had a pretty straightforward explanation of what went wrong with the councils: The Jews. Breitbart horcrux/homunculus Matthew Boyle pointed out the councils were the brainchild of National Economic Council director Gary Cohn, and what do you expect from a bunch of globalists and elites who pussy out at the first sign of brave white men standing up for their rights? Rather than being a Big Black Eye for Trump, it’s actually a huge blow to the influence of Cohn, you see. It might even be a Feather in Trump’s Cap:

The move is a significant blow to the influence of Cohn in the White House. Cohn, who was once rumored to be a candidate for chief of staff, was passed over for Gen. John Kelly when now former chief of staff Reince Priebus resigned. Cohn is still rumored to be a potential candidate for chairman of the Federal Reserve, but his chances at that are now waning too, as his level of control in the White House is dwindling by the minute.

There are reports that Cohn was “disgusted” with President Trump’s response to the Charlottesville incidents during a Tuesday press conference at Trump Tower in New York City.

Boyle deftly diagnoses — big, hooked diag-noses — the problem: GLOBALISTS and people named (((Cohn))) and (((Kushner))):

The organizational structure that empowered American CEOs–and not small business leaders–was always fraught with potential peril if and when something like this came up. Nonetheless, Cohn and Trump son-in-law and adviser Jared Kushner pushed the president forward in advising the course of action that included the creation of these institutions full of corporatists and globalists that Trump is now disbanding.

Good decent mom-n-pop small businessvolk certainly wouldn’t cut and run the first time Trump explained that anti-Nazi protesters are just as awful as Nazis, much less nice patriotic neo-Confederates who love monuments to the heroes of their country, which existed for five years a century and a half ago.

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[WaPo / Daily Beast / Breitbart / Image from Modern Liberals]

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  • (((fka_donnie_d)))
    • Joe Beese

      I see that Wikipedia’s “Who is a Jew?” article needs to be edited to add myself.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Too many CEOs wanted to be on my council. I couldn’t handle all the requests. I had to close it because it was too successful. Believe me. You can believe me.

    https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/5a/38/32/5a38325180fbd0e395589d762c3d20e0–memes-trump-trump-humor.jpg

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Not the Trump uses it, but where is “believe you me” from/used?

      • FlownΩver

        I’ve heard it occasionally around Baja Nebraska since the Truman administration.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Hmm… And “believe me,” like “frankly” and “honestly” all usually mean “I’m gonna spout some unsupported shit now,” but for Trump it’s a trigger warning to a Big Asses Lie on the way.

      • Bill D. Burger

        The phrase “Believe you me” copies the archaic word order one finds in Early Modern English for a marked imperative. Typical examples are from King James version of the Bible (both testaments). They need not depart; give ye them to eat. … Using Verb-Subject-Object order is “an archaic form used for imperatives.”

        From: English Stack Exchange

        https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/20578/is-believe-you-me-proper-english

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Thank you!

    • FlownΩver

      So many of the cool kids wanted to come to my party that I had to cancel it. Too bad for them.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Again, he has to “win”. Always. So they didn’t quit. He fired them all.

  • IAMBOWLINGGREEN

    Before assuming that this is Trump’s worst week in his Presidency so far.. Remember next week is on it’s way.

    • Panika MCD

      we also too are not through with the week.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        It’s gonna be hard to do the Friday drinkin’ on Wednesday.

        • Panika MCD

          not for me! (especially since we could have another special session called by Friday…)

          • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

            Skål

          • Jonny On Maui

            Should we start a GoFundMe to get your replacement liver?

            Seriously, if another one is called, I feel for you.

          • Panika MCD

            I could use back surgery and a new set of lungs first.

          • Jonny On Maui

            When shopping around for a set of lungs I always looked at Mormon missionaries. Very clean, you know…

          • Jonny On Maui

            COPD?

          • Panika MCD

            not yet, but I do smoke and need to quit.

          • Jonny On Maui

            It took the patches and hypnosis for me to finally quit. 1999 was the year. Getting my sense of taste back was amazing.

          • Panika MCD

            my sense of smell and taste is fine. but I need to see a quitting counselor.

          • Jonny On Maui

            The effect quitting has on your pocketbook is quite nice too.

          • Panika MCD

            that, too.

          • Panika MCD

            think of the toys and outfits Callie can have!

    • Bill D. Burger

      ….and this one’s not over yet!

    • Joe Beese
    • Zippy W Pinhead

      hold my beer

  • Joe Beese

    Trump only created those councils at the point of Kushner’s and Cohn’s Jew Weapons!

  • FlownΩver

    “Constructive economic and regulatory policies are not enough and will not matter if we do not address the divisions in our country,” Dimon wrote his employees.

    Listen up, Sparky, here’s a “division” you can address. You can start with try dividing your salary by a thousand and providing the cost of living for about that many households

  • OrdinaryJoe
    • Joe Beese

      Take that thing back to Baltimore. (To see where the removed Confederate statues were.)

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Nice likenesses but a little too flattering. They’re much nastier in real life.

  • WIDTAP
    • Mehmeisterjr

      This is what that other guy called a “shit sandwich.”

    • OrdinaryJoe

      As they say in the services, FUBAR.

      • georgiaburning

        also, BOHICA

        • FlownΩver

          Or NASA – here, “Need Anti-Semitic Assholes.”

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          ????

          • georgiaburning

            “Bend Over, Here It Comes Again!” A common expression in the Navy and Marine Corps

  • Mehmeisterjr

    He’s bringing us together, isn’t he?

    The point upon which we are together is: Can I make the plea bargain first?

    Well, actually, I can’t make that deal since I didn’t vote for or work for Trump.

    But anybody else has to realistically ask the question, “Can I sell him out before he runs the bus over me?”

    The answer will depend upon your individual conscience and whether Putin can serve you a strontium whiskey sour soon enough.

  • Bill D. Burger

    If he loses his advisory councils comprised of some of the most important CEO’s our county has to offer, then perhaps he will understand that providing cover for neo-nazis, the Klan and white supremacists is bad business.

    bwwwwahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

    I said, “Maybe he will understand….”

    How fucking foolish of me.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      he doesn’t give two shits about business! He is the very embodiment of bad business! ALL he cares about is himself and his pathetic toddler ego! EVERYTHING he does is about that and always has been!

  • memzilla Ω

    I’ve lost actual count, but I think this would be about the 27th or 29th business venture that Mango Mussolini has ruined, right?

  • Joe Beese

    A nine-city protest against Google for firing engineer James Damore is being called off after last weekend’s white supremacist rally. “March on Google” organizer Jack Posobiec pushed the event back by “a few weeks” this morning, due to what he called “credible alt-left terrorist threats” and “malicious and false statements” connecting the march with far-right politics.

    https://www.theverge.com/2017/8/16/16156076/march-on-google-james-damore-firing-protest-canceled-postponed

  • Mavenmaven

    Actually, where are all those collaborators, Kushner, Greenblatt, and Friedman?

    • FlownΩver

      And the Worst Daughter?

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Like a little boy bringing his ball to the park and when nobody wants to play with him he walks away saying that he didn’t want to play anyway and no father to console him.

    I feel sorry for that little boy and wish he had gotten some more love when he was a kid but as someone who went to through therapy for sometimes feeling left out by his father I can now only say: You could have gotten help in your 20’s or 30’s or even 40’s or 50’s you did not so fuck off and stop making future generations suffer your faith, dickhead.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      He’s had 70 years to become something decent and has declined.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        This.

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        It’s the most Shakespearean tragic aspect of his character: ALL he wants is for people to like him, and ALL he’d have to do is be a reasonably decent human being, but he simply won’t do it.

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          Because he never learned how to.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Exactly my point.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Well, when your dad is a noted klansman…..

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        True, thankfully my dad is different. my dad is still one of the most aimicable persons I know but he had a terrible dad and never really know how to show affection and that resulted in me and my brother not getting to know him. It took me a few years of therapy to find this out and we talked extensivly about this later on. We now have a good bond and I speak to him weekly about what is going on in our lives. He once thanked me for breaking the circle and told me how proud he was of me and that he thinks I will be the best dad for my son because of it.

        You can imagine the tears shed that moment.

        • wide_stance_hubby

          No imagining required here. Thanks and glad for you both.

  • BearGHAZI

    Thanks for enlightening me Wonkette
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byDiILrNbM4

    • doktorzoom

      A classic, right up there with “Martin Scorsese”:

      “YOU MAKE THE BEST FUCKIN’ FILMS! YOU MAKE THE BEST FUCKIN’ FILMS!”

  • Elendira

    You didn’t dump me, I dumped you, whore!.

  • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

    Hooked diag-noses is one of your MOST BRILLIANT THINGS EVER, Dok.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    And this lamp….I don’t need this lamp….I don’t need anything……………except…….

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      don’t say ping pong paddle, trust me

    • Weird Fishes

      ….WHY ARE THESE GLOVES SO BIG?!!

      (Seriously, normal-sized hands?)

  • spangled

    you’re breaking up with me?
    no, i’m breaking up with you!

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    True story- far more CEOs quit Donnie’s advisory councils than Evangelicals have quit his Evangelical Advisory Board and Faith Council (spoiler alert: none of them, Katie)

    Let that sink in a minute- Corporate America has actually proven itself more decent and honorable than the heads of the Christian Right

    • Panika MCD

      that’s how I’ve felt about it for a while.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        such a low bar- at least be better than the soulless, money grubbing sociopaths and the Evangelical community can’t even manage that

        • Panika MCD

          I was pretty proud of how the business community responded to things down here. they said they want a big pool of qualified applicants–which means they’re better at listening to the public than Evangelical fuckwits are and that they also oppose school vouchers.

    • Magic Juan

      No surprise.

  • Persistent Demme

    Trump WISHES he had those Steve Martin(?) manly man-hands!

  • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

    Really well thought out speech by Jimmy Kimmel:

    Kimmel then turned to address everyone who voted for Trump:

    “First of all – I want to say I get it. I actually do. You were unhappy with the way things were going. You wanted someone to come in and shake things up. You didn’t want business as usual. Nothing ever seems to get done, it’s always the same, these candidates make a lot of promises that go nowhere. It happens over and over again…and you’re sick of it.

    And so this guy shows up riding down a golden escalator. He’s not a part of the political establishment; in fact, he’s the opposite of that. He’s a billionaire – maybe – he’s written books, he’s not politically correct, or even correct usually. He talks tough, he wants to drain the swamp, sometimes he can be funny. He rips into his opponents in a way politicians never do. And, you thought, ‘You know what? This guy is different! And that’s what I want. Different. Let’s roll the dice. Let him get in there, and run the country like a business. Cut the dead weight, toughen everyone up. Let’s shake this Etch-a-Sketch hard, and start over.

    So you vote for him. You pick him over Jeb Bush and Ted Cruz and John Kasich and a dozen other Republicans whose names we forgot. And ultimately, he beats them! And then he beats the ultimate political insider: Hillary Clinton! And it’s exciting. This was your guy. You picked a horse – at 35 to 1 – and somehow, it paid off!

    So now he is the president. And it starts off okay. He meets with President Obama, they seem to have a nice conversation. But then he moves into the White House and, right off the bat he’s angry at the media for reporting that his crowd at the inauguration was smaller than he thought it was. Which was weird. And then he claimed it stopped raining when he was speaking at his inaugural address, when everyone could see it raining.

    He hires his daughter, he hires his son-in-law, demands an investigation into voter fraud, even though he won the election. He calls the Prime Minister of Australia and hangs up on him, He won’t shake Angela Merkel’s hand. He doesn’t know Frederick Douglass isn’t alive. He claims he can’t release his tax returns because they’re under audit, then says he wont release them at all. He signs a ban on Muslims that he claims isn’t a ban on Muslims

    He compliments the President of the Philippines for murdering drug addicts. Hours after a terror attack in London, he starts a fight with their mayor. After criticizing Obama for playing golf, he plays golf every weekend. He accidentally shares classified intelligence with the Russians. He tweets a typo at midnight, wakes up and claims it was a secret message.

    He bans the transgendered from the military without telling anyone in the military he’s doing it. He plays chicken with Kim Jong Un!

    And that’s just some of the list. If i went through all of it it would be longer than the menu at the Cheesecake factory.

    But you’ve been trying to ignore it – because you don’t want to admit that these smug, annoying liberals were right. It’s the last thing you want to do But the truth is, deep down inside you know you made a mistake.

    So you can do one of two things. You can dig in like Chris Christie at a Hometown Buffet, or you can treat this situation like you would if you put Star Wars wallpaper up in the kitchen: ‘Alright, I got caught up. I was excited and I made a mistake.’

    And you can say, ‘Hey, you know what? He needs to go.’

    So – please – think about that.”

    http://deadline.com/2017/08/jimmy-kimmel-donald-trump-unhinged-news-conference-charlottesville-neo-nazis-white-supremacists-video-1202149926/

    • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

      Yep – that was impressive.

    • Walter Wellstone

      Well said.

    • Persistent Demme

      I agree, a great monologue.

      Now, let it be the final time anyone tries to reason with these (so-called) people.
      From now on, let there be no concern for their fee-fees.
      Just. Make. It. Stop.

    • Red Bird

      Our comedians are the ones speaking the truth.

      • therblig

        “That sir which serves and seeks for gain,
        And follows but for form,
        Will pack when it begins to rain,
        And leave thee in the storm.
        But I will tarry; the fool will stay,
        And let the wise man fly:
        The knave turns fool that runs away;
        The fool, no knave, perdy”
        – King Lear, Act 2, Scene 4

        • CindyinEncinitas

          I know, right?

    • phoenix00

      Now if our mainstream news media had an identical message…….

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    CNN: Republican lawmakers and administration aides found themselves again Wednesday weighing the costs and benefits of remaining loyal to President Donald Trump,

    Con: Electoral loss by sticking with him
    Pro: Early retirement.

  • Daredevil

    Trump: Rollback the regulatory state! More freedomz!

    Also Trump: Ummm…those anti-fascist protesters should like, have permits.

  • Ryan Denniston

    “The Manufacturing Council, which has been shedding members like a Chromodoris reticulata colony, lost the heads of Campbell Soup, 3M, and General Electric today”

    Jesus, when you’ve lost Campbell’s Soup. Actually, wasn’t there a Mad Men episode where they fought like crazy to keep Campbell’s Soup?

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Lots of folks on the tweetybox reminding Campbell CEO that the label “Soup Nazi” would be really, really, really hard to shake.

    • doktorzoom

      The Cream of Chromodoris reticulata was never really a big hit.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        they did manage to sell a hundred cans to Ted Cruz

      • georgiaburning

        Should have left the picture off the label

      • FlownΩver

        Well, when the label says “Ingredients: sea slug penis,…” you’re pretty much paddling against the flash flood.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Paperless Tiger

    After the fact and all, but if you’re gonna have an economic and regulatory council, shouldn’t you have a few Professors to balance all the Mr. Howells?

  • Joe Beese
    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      She does have a really worried look on her face though.

      • Joe Beese

        She chewed up his favorite loofah.

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          “He better not be using me as a fucking loofah again”

      • wide_stance_hubby

        “Oh, fuck. He’s going to be up until 4 doing lines off my back again.”

      • Pilotshark

        where is his other hand?

    • Bill D. Burger

      Poor dog looks like it’s suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.

    • The Wanderer

      Thank Ereshkigal that dog can’t talk.

    • Panika MCD

      that poor corgi! maybe they should start a support group for GOP dogs. Pancake Abbott is just askin’ for a friend.

      https://cdn.patchcdn.com/users/22872998/2016/03/T600x450/20160356f2fd51e78d6.jpg

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      That dog is saying: “He’s behind me, isn’t he? Shit, I know he’s behind me…”

      • Beanz&Berryz

        And I think he just slipped his finger in my butt…

    • Jonny On Maui

      Those poor little dog eyes scream, “Please help me!” in every language.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    Watching Trump react to everything like the bitter, rejected, man-baby caricature he is would cause me a great deal of second hand embarrassment if I didn’t wish, with every inch of my being, to see him publicly humiliated, by himself, and others, until he melts into a slimy orange puddle of failure and shame, and is scooped into the grease bin of history. I don’t like him, just to be clear.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Please, tell me more.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        He is bad and he should feel bad!

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          He’s a racist who eats canned clams.

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            He’s bad at golf.

          • Jonny On Maui

            He cheats too!

          • puredog

            Actually, when St. Peter writes in his book, he will say, “OTOH, you were pretty good at golf.”

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            He smells bad, and has the heartbreak of psoriasis.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            COULD HE BE MORE OF A MONSTER? NO!!! THE ANSWER IS NO!!

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      He really is one of those guys on Tinder or whatever who spits furious misogyny at women who politely decline his invitation to go out

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        And it’s always the same tedious insults. 2 minutes ago, you wanted to sex me up, and now I’m an uglyslutprudefatwhoredykebitch?!

      • Nockular cavity

        So…following rejected-asshole logic…does that mean we’re all lesbians?

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          I’ve always wanted to try….being an old white guy is so tedious…

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Trump is TLM!

        • CindyinEncinitas

          I bet at this point even TLM is wondering. Brad, on the other hand, was at the march on Sunday with a pussy hat on.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      This is music I like….

    • Snopes Shop

      Go on…

    • puredog

      What, exactly, is the point you are trying to make here?

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        I lost track halfway through.

    • phoenix00

      Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

  • Ryan Denniston

    Oh well. Sure, they were going to advise, but Trump had already made up his mind about what he was going to do.

  • CindyinEncinitas
    • No but I think ate poop might be better.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Well played, sir.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    I love this new FB group: WWII Veterans Disgusted by Trump. At the rate he’s going, he’ll be supported by 3% of the country in 2020.

    • SnarkON

      And yet, thanks to gerrymandering, he’ll somehow get all of the electoral votes.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I don’t think lightning will strike twice…but I’ve been wrong before.

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          No one will ever convince me that the Russian hacking doesn’t extend to hacking voting machines. Mr. Cat Cafe says I sound like a loon, but so be it.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            We can be loons together, because I also think it’s possible there were shenanigans. Wasn’t it odd how Trump screamed “voter fraud” but never called for an investigation?

          • bbayliss

            Ya know what’s odd? winning three states by EXACTLY 1%, that’s odd.
            And against all odds.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Particularly DEMOCRATIC states.

          • bbayliss

            Live a little. indulging in conspiratorial thoughts that would have embarrassed you a few months ago is one of the few advantages of “post truth America.”

          • totally with you. it’s the only assurance about the safety of our voting system and the legitimacy of our votes that hasn’t – yet – fallen by the wayside.

            i have no doubt it will too.

        • puredog

          Lordy, haven’t we all.

    • phoenix00

      New? The ones actually honored with a legit Purple Heart are only now disgusted with one that was gifted?

      Late still better then never….

  • SnarkON

    Jamie Dimon, Venal Billionaire Hero of the People.

  • Joe Beese
    • The Wanderer

      Coming from the pile of human detritus that threatened to shoot Obama and Clinton, I find that his assertions lack credence.

    • Ryan Denniston

      He’s out of political prison?

    • Yes. We can agree that all lives matter. But we also need to call attention to the specific case of one subset of lives are being prematurely ended by another subset of lives in a statistically significant manner requiring immediate action to rectify the situation.

    • TJ Barke

      Except when the cops shoot unarmed blacks. Then we’ll come up with excuse after excuse to justify it.

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        And Nazis. We really like Nazis, especially after they murdered millions of people.

        • willi0000000

          “those weren’t people”
          -nazis

    • Nockular cavity

      Who?

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Pants shitter…

    • ltmcdies

      really…..hauling out Ted Nugent to placate the olds and the hearing impaired

      • phoenix00

        Fuckz Nooz needs filler, after all.

    • therblig

      especially e. coli, right teddy?

    • P’jama Pahnts

      I hear he declared recently that he’s toning down his rhetoric. Good news, I suppose if true.

      • phoenix00

        It didn’t last. He couldn’t resist taking more shots at Obama.

        Verbal, not NRA……. but hey he’s white give him credit.

  • FlownΩver

    “…shedding members like a Chromodoris reticulata colony…”

    Is that what happened to the Annoying Orange? Inquiring minds Melon would like to know.

    Also, looks like Dok’s going for another PhD, this time in Creepy/Funny zoology.

  • willi0000000

    from dimon

    Constructive economic and regulatory
    policies are not enough and will not matter if we do not address the
    divisions in our country

    translation: “we can’t get on with the rape until the tiny-dicked guy finishes up”

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      until the tiny-dicked guy gets hard, if he can

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Dimon claims to be a Democrat.

  • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

    We desperately need a moment to smile, so here’s Obvious Plant’s latest (he noted “Left in an Australia travel book”): https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/05f5541e173827dd8d7b6c152b4c8bd47fc7802368da9840cead52fd3973c16a.jpg

    • Atheist

      I want to shove chubbers in Donald Trump’s Finnegan’s hole.

      :D

    • YoBunnyBunny

      I wish we had a critter stateside that we could call “bouncy mouse.”

    • phoenix00

      All I know is “fair dinkum”

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Chuck Todd is back to saying stupid on TV.

  • bbayliss

    Are the local milk people still with him?

    • Harvey Milk wouldn’t represent him for all the birdseed in Gotham.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Why doesn’t the Bigot Baby just quit? He’s obviously miserable and his ratings are tanking. Go take Bannon and start your TV network and bankrupt it.

    • Catstro

      “You can’t fire me! I quit!”

      (please lord)

      • phoenix00

        My spidey senses tell me this is exactly how he’ll “beat impeachment”

    • The Wanderer

      He’ll shout, “I’m not a quitter!”

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      I’m pretty sure that’s how it’ll end–him flouncing

  • Ryan Denniston

    Hey GOP, would you prefer to answer questions on “the shows,” or hold town halls instead?

    • willi0000000

      “i’ll take ‘anywhere there isn’t a live audience’ for 1000, Alex.”

  • Mr. Blobfish

    The Coal Council is still tight, right?

    • therblig

      Right, Tight, Anthracite!

      • Mr. Blobfish

        I learn so much here.

      • phoenix00

        Inhale, rail, shale!

  • Master Contrail Program

    For the low, low price of $1 I can guess your age, your weight and even your approval ratings! You can send out some tweets! You can orange up your face! But you cannot fool The Guesser! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bb675986a7fe387f735131ee89e145fad8f147f6b33383a50c26e6eb0643be4c.jpg

  • Joe Beese

    Remember all that 2020 positioning Kasich has been doing?

    Now it’s a “moral imperative”.

    https://twitter.com/WillieGeist/status/897926417052127232

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Well, thank Heavens for that! Finally, a racist, sexist old white dude gonna save us all!!

    • Ryan Denniston

      Those orphans won’t starve themselves, and clearly the man at the top is incapable of delivering on his promises.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Good, let him split the GOP in half. Then we can have three parties- Democrats, bat shit crazies, and tea party loons.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        or four, once the Bros™ flounce off in a self righteous huff

      • Ryan Denniston

        What about Evan McMuffin. Doesn’t he get to lead a faction?

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          He can start the MagicUnderpants party. My mom voted for him.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Primary in 2020? Hell, how about a moral imperative to impeach his ass in 2017 and send him directly to jail?

      • YoBunnyBunny

        I’m saying… what the fuck are they waiting on??? Now would be nice.

        • elviouslyqueer

          I think Congress is WELL past that whole “not fit to serve in any capacity” smell test by now.

          • YoBunnyBunny

            The pivot… is it still coming?

      • willi0000000

        need Mueller to say he’s got tupPence too or we just get the same plus domionist.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        I suspect that by 2020 the Republic of Gilead won’t be doing primaries.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
    • Mr. Blobfish

      A Civil War I can get behind!

    • phoenix00

      Kasich’s moral imperatives are way off.

      But hey water is wet and the sun is shiny, amirite?

  • Jamoche

    This really is the High School AU fanfic version of reality – the variation where the self-inserts have taken over to get revenge on everyone who never paid attention to them in high school.

  • Red Bird

    Open thread????

    • John Thorstensen

      I’ll bet it’s too early to declare. Y’know, shoes, dropping, all that.

  • ltmcdies

    probably been posted but …history

    https://twitter.com/dsantat/status/897557576593756161

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Perfect. Have to go over the tweetybox and retweet.

    • Panika MCD

      where’s Edith Wilson?

    • Joe Beese

      For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

      • Paul

        That pendulum is going to swing right off its peg soon. I was thinking the same as you.

    • elviouslyqueer
      • WotsAllThisThen

        Forgot to circle the last one.

  • Jenny

    So i got to hear today how there is a civil war a brewing and how my boss and male coworker would not help the government. But they arent racist!1!1! They just hate the government cuz they arent in charge!

    Also we shouldnt tear down monuments cuz history. I know about nazis but we don’t have statues of them. Oddly no response on that one other than too much pc fights.

    Also my boss ran for office, said he did so good for a libertarian. We found the results. Not only was he off by several digits. He underperformed compared to the other independent candidates. FAKE NEWS!!

    We decided not to share the results we found. He clearly needs the confidence boosts.

  • Bill D. Burger

    “Pence is My Co-Pilot” ___ Behold his return. (*After he unwads his panties.)

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DHYVIPzUIAAYIzB.jpg

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Remember the moment in All That Jazz when the backers go to John Lithgow while Roy Scheider is in the hospital? That look on Lithgow’s face.

      • puredog

        Memory fails. Pix or GTFO.

    • Rick Hill

      Read:
      “I better get back in case I’m needed to fill someone’s place. If they’re removed, that is.”

    • willi0000000

      all the same nasty shit as t’Rump with the added dominionist flavor.

    • MOG253

      “Because I want to be there when he gets thrown out.”

    • phoenix00

      > ‘I will return home tomorrow as US President if we feel like it’

      FTFY

  • TakingAmes

    If Gary Cohn is “disgusted” and “upset,” he should feel free to resign and denounce the president. Until then, he’s just a spineless Paul Ryan wannabe.

  • memzilla Ω

    How many Rethuglicans are coming onto Faux ‘News’ to defend Dolt 45?
    . https://twitter.com/maxwelltani/status/897900520622493696

    • Ryan Denniston

      Aren’t they busy with their town halls?

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Wow, nary even a one to come on and scream FAKE NEWS!1!!1 … something something… Hillary Clinton Obama gay agenda?

      • Canned Covfefe

        They’re busy with Benghazi. And emails. And pizza porn

  • BrianW

    “Besides, Dimon didn’t actually add, there was no point in JPMorgan Chase
    offering advice to an administration staffed mostly by Goldman Sachs
    guys.”

    It’s lines like that one that keep me paying Wonkette for the privilege of not commenting here.

  • Scooby

    How did these dingleberries become CEOs when the didn’t even have the prescience to see this coming?

    • UnsaltedSinner

      The meritocracy at work.

    • Rick Hill

      I’ve said, the people I’ve seen that swallow the right’s line of bs, hook line and sinker, are the ones who are wealthy, educated, well travelled and have connections in the business community as well as own a politician or two. They should know better.

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        I actually think it’s the other way around. It takes a rapacious, amoral, nasty personality to become the CEO of an enormous business, especially a financial business–think about it. You have to be singlemindedly determined to win, to rule, to earn money above everything else. You have to be essentially addicted to money and power and do anything to get it. Everything is transactional, human behavior and morality is irrelevant. You also have to constantly be in business with shitty people who you loathe, but hey, if there’s profit in it for you, you’ll sign up for it.

        So you recognize full well that DJT is a total piece of shit, but you figure he’s your piece of shit and if you enable him, you’ll get richer. So you do. At a certain point, he becomes toxic to your ability to make money, so you dump him. They ALL operate like this. “Tell Mikey it was just business, I always liked him.”

        • Rick Hill

          Not talking about CEOs. Talking about the wealthy people I’ve done work for. They wholeheartedly believe the spin. The same way trump sincerely believes the Alt left came there for a fight.

    • georgiaburning

      Most of them did, but their legal staff was scared of some Trumkin stockholder suing them for failure to preserve stockholder value. In other words, suck up ’cause it may mean money. Now that’s been reversed.

      • jesterpunk

        Also his tweets used to crash a companies stock and it might still do that.

        • georgiaburning

          The CEO of a public corporation needs to be careful. Lots of people invest in it and expect you to behave in a predictable manner. The CEO of a private one, like Trump, can blather on and do almost anything.

        • CripesAmighty

          Nobody gives a shit anymore.

      • Sakonyachen

        They most likely had a staff watching to see when he fucked up enough that they could jump ship without any questions of morality. Not sure why they waited until now.

    • MOG253

      Or they thought maybe they could accomplish something. Maybe?

      • WotsAllThisThen

        I’ll allow six months of, “Let’s give him a chance maybe he won’t be so bad” before I hit them with, “I fucking told you so, dumbass.”

        • MOG253

          Can we line up with bats and chains like in Airplane?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      They couldn’t see past their own slobber at the prospect of those giant tax cuts and screw-the-working-people regulations.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Trump of the Nazi protesters: “Many of them are nice people.” https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DHYI8C9WsAE0OGl.jpg

    • Ryan Denniston

      Through their actions, they made Germany great again.

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        Briefly.

        • Bill D. Burger

          Don’t blink!

        • Nockular cavity

          For a thousand years!*

          *Not a guarantee of future performance.

      • MOG253

        No, that would have been our rebuilding ecforts.

  • Rick Hill

    “Dimon didn’t actually add, there was no point in JPMorgan Chase offering advice to ̶a̶n̶ ̶a̶d̶m̶i̶n̶i̶s̶t̶r̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ ̶s̶t̶a̶f̶f̶e̶d̶ ̶m̶o̶s̶t̶l̶y̶ ̶b̶y̶ ̶G̶o̶l̶d̶m̶a̶n̶ ̶S̶a̶c̶h̶s̶ ̶g̶u̶y̶s̶ a man who will not heed advice or stick to an agreed upon course of action.”

    Fixed it…sideways….for you

  • georgiapeach

    Nobody likes you, everybody hates you…go eat worms.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      We always sing that song to my youngest dog when he gets scolded and goes to pout in the corner. It’s cute when he does it.

  • therblig
  • weejee

    Looks like digital and physical evidence shredders are going to be working serious overtime.

  • Beautiful Soup

    Do you think Mary Trump secretly paid other children to be little Donnie’s friend? He doesn’t seem to have learned the old lesson “if you want to have a friend, you have to be a friend. “

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      No, I think the problem is that Mary and Donald Sr. didn’t give a shit about Donnie and packed him off to a cruel military school at the age of 9 rather than getting him the help he needed. I’d feel sorry for him if he wasn’t such a wretched pile of festering toxic waste.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        They outsourced his discipline rather than dealing with it themselves after he hit a teacher. I think he was actually about 13.
        What’s kind of sad is that while he was never a good person, he wasn’t this vicious and toxic as a younger man. Money and power really did have a corrosive influence.

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          I think he was 9, but I can’t bear to look it up. I think he was troubled and hurt and in pain, and it congealed into a toxic stew of virulence and cruelty. Think what a bastard his dad must have been, AND his mother.

        • gffish

          According to several accounts, little Donnie hit his piano teacher when he was nine. He’s always been a jerk.

          • Roadstergal

            And little Hillary Clinton hit a boy who was being mean to rabbits. Both sides do it!!

    • Mr. Blobfish

      I doubt he has ever had a true friend. Sad.

  • mrFawkes

    I don’t need this or this. Just this hotel. And this casino, and the golf course and that’s all I need. And this resort. The hotel, the casino, and the golf course, the resort and that’s all I need. And these racists. And this rally. The hotel, this casino and the golf course and the resort. and the racists and the rallies and that’s all I need. And that’s all I need too.

    • Rick Hill

      And this red and white striped bag of money

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      And Putin. I need Putin. But that’s it. The golf course and….

      • Rick Hill

        “What do you mean Putin won’t take my call? Do you know who this is??”

    • phoenix00
  • Crystalclear12

    “I didn’t want to play with them anyway!”

    • Rick Hill

      “You can’t quit! You’re fired!”

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        “I never wanted to go out with you anyway, bitch!”

  • Bill D. Burger

    Donald met with his council this morning and informed them all he was ending the thing altogether:
    The recorded minutes of the meeting: “Mr. Trump asked, ‘Where is everybo…..wher….goddammit…..’ ”

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DHTIdSwXkAAIfxn.jpg

    • Ryan Denniston
      • WotsAllThisThen

        Damn you!!

        • Ryan Denniston

          Shamelessly stolen from LGM somewhere.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      So, they found the light switch, finally!

  • UnsaltedSinner
    • Ryan Denniston

      Are we supposed to note that the globes are centered on Ghyna, or am I trying to be too conspiratorial?

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        They probably picked globes that looked as close as possible to yellow stars.

        • Ryan Denniston

          In case the subtlety was lost… very strategic.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      ps don’t read the Twitter responses, they’re really shit

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Why hasn’t this rag been cast into the outer darkness like the Daily Sturmer?

      • phoenix00

        Because Bannon.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Where does the time go? Shit, I’ve got to make that 6:00 local Dems meeting! Shit!….

  • I bet when Jared shows up fresh from his vacation Trump chases him around the West Wing with a tiki torch, with Ivanka shouting NOT HIS HAIR DADDY NOT HIS HAIR.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      I think Jared and Ivanka cosplay “Tiki Nazis” and “protester”

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Didn’t something bad happen when they went skiing for the weekend awhile back?

      • gffish

        They came back to the White House?

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Just leaked, Trump’s meeting with his new economic advisory council

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JchKa8Ox3Hs

    • Ryan Denniston

      Oh, I get it now!

  • Catstro
  • WomanInThePersistence

    I never did hear back from Campbells.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I am satisfied knowing that Obama is and will always be more popular then Trump, and it eats at Trump’s broken brain.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Also too, the most loved tweet ever.

    • elviouslyqueer

      You know it just drives him NUTS (okay, not a far drive, but even so) to know that he will always be relegated to being in Obama’s shadow forever.

      • mardam422

        Obama’s shadow…is that racist?

      • Canned Covfefe

        Nuttier

      • gffish

        Mango Mussolini must be seething that Obama’s recent tweet is the most re-tweeted one ever.

  • jesterpunk
    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Crybaby should find himself a Jewish lawyer. The kind with the funny little hats. People say they’re the best. Many, many, people.

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        If you look at the video, the guy is so far from being a straight man that it’s really sad, actually.

        • george lastrapes

          The other side of roid rage. What happens when testosterone falls into the wrong hands. Poor guy is marked for life. The weeping Nazi! Lucky if he gets a night watchman job in an adult toys warehouse.

    • phoenix00

      What a snowflake!

  • YoBunnyBunny

    I didn’t realize Drumpf was the type to abstain from “putting pressure” on his underlings. I thought he was the Strong Man who’d bend everybody to his will? Did he just concede defeat (yes)?

    Methinks that he realized that he couldn’t threaten to primary CEOs like he does the fuckboy GOPs in congress… lol…

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      He does what he always does- when he loses, reframes it as a win, moves on, and plots revenge later if possible ( oh, he wont forget).

  • Weird Fishes

    Thanks, Doc. My eyeglasses were finally free of schmutz and then I read this and I laugh so hard my eyes spritz. Back to the drawing board.

  • Ryan Denniston

    You know, 8 months in? I don’t want this predisent to succeed. I don’t believe that if he succeeds, America wins. Course this sentiment will have not aged well if we or our allies in Asia get nuked over the next 3+ years. Keith had it right; as odious as a Pence presidency would be, it’s far preferable to one led by Trump.

    • Pence is every bit a nazi sympathizer as Trump is. Only difference is he is smart enough not to say it outloud. Do look at his record sometime. All about kicking poorz, wiminz, gayz and minorities.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Pence is your standard issue half bright Fundagelical hack.

      • Me not sure

        He is also just as incompetent as Trump at actually governing. If there is evidence that Trump was elected illegitimately they should both be impeached and removed simultaneously in that they were on the same ticket. Hello President Ryan if before 2018. Hello President Pelosi(?) if the Dems take the house after 2018

        • gffish

          The Speaker of the House doesn’t have to be a member of the House. If the Democrats take control of both houses of Congress, my fantasy is that Hillary Clinton is appointed Speaker and then ascends to the Presidency when Trump and Pence are removed from office and given a one-way ticket to Leavenworth.

          • Me not sure

            I like the way you fanticise.

          • gffish

            I have a long history in this regard, dating back to 1972 when I fantasized that George McGovern won all 50 states, immediately ended the VIetnam War upon being inaugurated, and Richard Nixon, Spiro Agnew, and Henry Kissinger were jailed as war criminals.

          • Me not sure

            Great minds.

      • Shibusa

        And Pence did just declare that he” stands with the President” on Charlottesville. Like any good Christian would do.

        • James Lamere

          Mike…Mike…Mike…don’t just stand there…..show some real approval by falling on your well-worn knees and giving your Fuhrer a hot slobbering (CENSORED) like it says somewhere in the gospel-book .

      • Pence’s face has that look the fallen get when they stare into hell too long… like it’s one big, red scar.

    • Canned Covfefe

      I think Pence will appear presidential and the rhetoric will return to dog whistles, maybe. But I don’t understand how it would be better. I believe he and Congress would actually get a lot done. None of it for the good.

      • This. SAME shit. But with more cohesion. How that is “better” is beyond me.
        The same assholes will be enabled.
        The same horrible policies will be enacted.
        He simply won’t embarrass us as much. OH MY! HOW BETTERER

        • Smibo

          ^^^ This. ^^^

          Is why I hesitate to get on board with the “impeach Trump” movement.* Our electoral system gave us a grossly incompetent buffoon, who promotes staggeringly bad ideas. Do we really want a competent buffoon promoting the same staggeringly bad ideas? The Republicans have paralyzed their own ability to get anything done (which is a good thing), and in the process made their own brand a laughingstock (and, I think, virtually radioactive to voters in 2018 and 2020). Two things about a theoretical Pence (or Ryan) administration though;

          1 – Pence would seem reasonable to a lot of voters, by comparison to Trump.

          2 – Pence could (in theory) carry the WH in 2020, something which will be unpossible if Trump’s next 40 months are anything like his first eight.

          American voters (particularly those few tens of thousands in the rust belt, who put Trump over the line) need time to internalize the damage they’ve done to their country. They need to feel the intense embarrassment, suffer the insufferable outrages, and thoroughly own the shame and misery that their poor choice in 2016 has wrought. A Pence administration would only offer them an escape hatch from having to accept how wrong they were. I fear that many would cling to that “out” with a desperation normally reserved for drowning people who suddenly find themselves in reach of a flotation device.

          (* In the event of nuclear holocaust, I pre-emptively disavow everything I just typed.)

          • Rags

            Impeachement will require Dem votes. They will cooperate only if they get a resignation out of Pence first and a ‘consensus’ replacement.

          • Smibo

            I could live with that, but does the constitution allow for a “consensus” replacement? Wouldn’t it have to be Ryan?

          • gffish

            Not if Pence is removed (or resigns as part of a plea deal, as Spiro Agnew had to do). In that case, a new Vice President would have to be approved by Congress. At this point, I would be happy with Mitt Romney as President if it has to be a Republican. (I think I threw up in my mouth a little as I typed that.)

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            Not if dems take the house in 2018 and he is impeached after that. Then, theoretically, it could be Hillary Clinton.

          • Rags

            Agnew’s departure was negotiated in advance of Nixon’s resignation to put a consensus candidate in place; Ford. It would have to be done similarly, through resignation of the VP first. There is likely to be plenty on Pence to justify this step.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      I get the feeling that Pence was Bannon’s strategy to begin with, a “poison pill” approach: if you impeach Trump you’ll get something even worse. There is no “worse” involved; they are both hideous incompetent bastards, but Bannon foresaw the mess Trump would possibility make and wanted an insurance policy.

  • Msgr_MΩment
  • Snopes Shop

    Why do we have a stupid “ceo council” anyway?

    • jesterpunk

      Because Trump likes to surround himself with rich people who wouldn’t give him the time of day before he was President.

      • Snopes Shop

        So is it a new thing? Nobama didn’t have this shit, did he?

        • jesterpunk

          No, I mean Obama did meet with some CEOs to discuss policies that would affect those industries though but not anything like what Trump has.

          • Snopes Shop

            Oh ok, thanks. I guess I could have googled that but this is easier :)

        • Me not sure

          They all do it to one degree or another. It might or might not ever meet but it strokes the egos of those on it. That depends on how seriously the President takes their job. They can also up their speaking fees.

          • The difference is Nobummer didn’t let his CEO pals tell him which regulations he should kill, and then go kill them.
            Slight difference I know.

          • Me not sure

            Many of these Presidential Commissions are just window dressing and serve as advisory panels only infrequently. They all are strictly speaking unofficial.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Are you unaware of your place in relation to your betters?

    • SDGeoff3

      A Chamber of Commerce for the Big Ol’ Boys.

    • phoenix00

      Trump gets so-called legitimacy and an ego-boost from actual successful CEOs, and in return they get tax cuts.

      Consider both backs scratched.

      • armed_bears

        yep! yes! affirmative!

      • anomie

        Lots of itchy backs at the moment.

        • phoenix00

          Are we surprised neither side is particularly adept at scratching someone else’s backs?

  • Snopes Shop

    I called my congressperson (jimmy gomez- D(ecent)), so many times (11) today demanding he and his fellow congresspeole return from their vacay to deal with the Nazis they put the phone on an answering machine.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      My Congrescritter, who is a Dem but a bit of a blue dog (for California) put up a FB post denouncing Trump and the alt right. Plenty of people in this district wanted to argue, which is depressing.

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        I honestly think their “voices” are highly augmented by trolls with multiple accounts, bots, and Russian trolls

        • This. They are going over time today. Even here at wonkette there were a handful of them that, when you look at their history, are going about posting the same posts everywhere

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          There’s plenty of stupid around here. There’s also an extremely virulent anti immigrant bunch that show up at every event, whether it’s in their district or not. They love to comment on the Facebook pages of Congresspeople who show any sympathy for immigrants, legal or otherwise.

        • george lastrapes

          What with MAGAphones, trolls, and bots, one flatulating anus can sound like the Red State Army Chorus.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Well…we know one council that will never leave him, because they’re as full of hate, bigotry and vile depravity as any Nazi or Klan group.

    __ Aaaaaaad….Jeebus said unto them, “Fuck this. I’m out.”

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DHYKgOfU0AAr4D5.jpg

    • Occam’s 8 ball

      Gawd Bless the Konsarvitive Krischan Koalishun!

  • Of course they dissolved. They already killed all the regulations dead!

  • CripesAmighty

    Well, he thought he could finally play with the big boys n girlz, and they’re like, “Nah, he’s still the same two-bit hick flipper/grifter from Queens. I’m outta here? You?”
    “Outta here.”

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      THIS

  • LesBontemps

    shedding members like a Chromodoris reticulata colony,

    Come to Wonket for the dick jokes, stay for the marine biology with dick jokes.

    • armed_bears

      I think we’re all about one hectocotylus joke away from an undergraduate degree in watery wankers.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Well sillies! It’s not because the American businessman is a Christian, but because Christianity is an American business.

    https://twitter.com/matthewjdowd/status/897887853090410497

    • Once again: The evangelicals will stick to him because they think he is the literal antichrist that will usher in the rapture.
      No. REALLY.

      • Bill D. Burger
        • phoenix00

          Missing Mike Pence.

          • Roadstergal

            How can I miss Mike Pence if he won’t go away?

          • phoenix00

            He may miss Mother, but would Mother miss him?

        • Force is all the unbelievers understand.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        That’s one school of thought. They can dress it up in whatever scripture they want, but they cling to him because they want power.

      • Me not sure

        So…they finally got something right? Weird.

      • efoveks

        Well they maybe partially right, in Trump being the AntiChrist. After all, if one were to ask, in any given situation, “What would Jesus do?”, whatever Trump does is exactly the opposite of what any person of competent moral decency would expect to be the answer…

      • gffish

        For eight years, many of these same Christofascists proclaimed that Barack Hussein Obama was a Kenyan communist Nazi usurper Muslim atheist fascist antichrist. Can’t they make up their mind?

        • Dudleydidwrong

          Mind? What is this “mind” of which you speak in this context? These people are puppets.

    • CripesAmighty

      And business is a religion.

    • Odd Jørgensen

      Trump’s Evangelical Council would need to have morals to begin with for the compass to work.

    • btwbfdimho

      Methodism is the Meth Epidemic of the People.

      • Bebecca

        I’m an atheist but grew up in the Methodist church and I need to stick up for them, they aren’t the hellfire and damnation crazies of the Southern Baptists and Pentecostals. But…they aren’t nearly as advanced as the Episcopals and the Presbyterians, either.

        • Roadstergal

          I’m an atheist who grew up Quaker. Anti-hierarchical, pro-reading, pro-questioning, pacifistic. It wasn’t too bad.

      • everstar

        They put the meth in Methodism?

    • brucej

      Because American Evangelicals are all white supremacists themselves : http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2014/05/religious-right-real-origins-107133

  • CripesAmighty
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    There are reports that Cohn was “disgusted” with President Trump’s response to the Charlottesville incidents during a Tuesday press conference at Trump Tower in New York City.

    So we can expect him to stick to his principles and resign, rather than enable a white supremacist, right?

    Ah, I needed that good laugh.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Was he “disgusted”at the treatment he got by Brannon’s pet rag? A bit awkward, no?
      Trump is a weak man. No Pres with the backbone of a slug would put up with that.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Is this our open thread? Because I’d like to address an Open Letter to the republicans in Congress:
    You own this.
    Enjoy it.
    Revel in having the support of roughly three in ten Americans.
    Tell yourselves that there are good people who are Nazis and that it took Dolt 45 to point that out.
    Tell yourselves that Both Sides Do It.
    Be grateful that you can stop pretending you care about people of color, people of all races and religions and sexes, and go ahead and spend all your time, effort, and concern on the white Christian male right out there in the open where we can all see you do it.

    Or, if you don’t have the stomach for it, then impeach him. NOW. Today. Call a special session, get on the plane, get back to Washington, and wrest this country out of the grip of a deranged, racist, barely-sentient bag of smegma.
    Every day that you wait is a day we tie you more firmly to his coattails, where he will drag you through the slime that forms behind him.

    • mancityRed6

      they can’t denounce enough of their base and still be elected.
      those idiots in Charlottesville self identified as the “right”, and as racist bastards.

    • amrak63

      Hey GOP: When you make a deal with the Devil, don’t be surprised if he burns your ass.

      http://i.imgur.com/ppUR3XA.jpg

    • Sakonyachen

      Now both sides actually do it. They both despise Trump. At least until someone shows them a shiny new country to be mad about.

  • andyshelt

    Panicked John Kelly Ushers Half-Naked Trump Away From Podium As President Shouts Support For Eugenics

    (from The Onion) https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8906d3a532e60c33fa557efd64217ada0602a5648ea67f8f16f4c00ebcd3fdb6.jpg

  • Ricky Gay

    Jerk libel!

    • mancityRed6

      yeah, that photo triggered me something fierce.

  • BadKitty904

    He was born a racist Nazi child…

  • andyshelt
  • Shibusa

    I had to bookmark that Chromodoris reticulata page.

  • That look you get when you’v been pulled over for driving drunk with an unseatbelted toddler in your car OR you’ve been listening to a Trump presser.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/594c024d39130d4262ee68b0cc2064625c3ba42f7acac5bdbc8562679b572594.jpg

    • phoenix00

      Alcohol is the least mind-altering of this person’s narcotics intake….

  • Dear US and you know I love you but .. it’s over.

  • bluicebank

    “The ship is abandoning the sinking rats.”

    h/t Charles Pierce quoting an Irish headline writer bemoaning the closing of a popular saloon.

    Though to hear Trump tell it: “You rats can’t leave me! I’m leaving you. [Sails off, sinks 100 yards from dock.]”

    • Bebecca

      Charles Pierce has such a way with words.

  • moeman

    Disease of Conceit
    Bob Dylan
    Lyrics
    There’s a whole lot of people suffering tonight from the disease of conceit
    Whole lot of people struggling tonight from the disease of conceit
    Comes right down the highway straight down the line
    Rips into your senses through your body and your mind
    Nothing about it that’s sweet
    The disease of conceit
    There’s a whole lot of hearts breaking tonight from the disease of conceit
    Whole lot of hearts shaking tonight from the disease of conceit
    Steps into your room eats into your soul
    Over your senses you have no control
    Ain’t nothing too discreet about the disease of conceit
    There’s a whole lot of people dying tonight from the disease of conceit
    Whole lot of people crying tonight from the disease of conceit
    Comes right out of nowhere and you’re down for the count
    From the outside world the pressure will mount
    Turn you into a piece of meat
    The disease of conceit
    Conceit is the disease that the doctors got no cure
    They’ve done a lot of research on it but what it is they’re still not sure
    There’s a whole lot of people in trouble tonight from the disease of conceit
    Whole lot of people seeing trouble tonight from the disease of conceit
    Give you delusions of grandeur and an evil eye
    Give you the idea that you’re too good to die
    The they bury you from head to your feet
    From the disease of conceit

  • Ryan Denniston
  • geoffalnutt

    “I quit!” “You’re fired” When said simultaneously ends up sounding something like “Ur Furt!!” It once happened to me and I made a mental note.

  • armed_bears

    If Dok and Evan are having a zingers-per-paragraph contest this week, I believe the gauntlet has been thrown down:

    Besides, Dimon didn’t actually add, there was no point in JPMorgan Chase offering advice to an administration staffed mostly by Goldman Sachs guys.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/553772e17d397d1b9c39cf4594a62ca43ae1b02766af51fed4ff9cd31105eb46.jpg

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      That was well done.

    • yup made me laugh out loud and read it to mr fuflans.

  • george lastrapes

    Take the pee away from ‘the President’, what’s left is ‘the Resident’. I guess that’s less disrespectful than ‘Strumpet-in-Chief’, but also less fun.

    • Not Flat – ROUND!

      Is “Strumpet” a meme now?

      • george lastrapes

        In my mind, anyway. And you can’t spell meme without me. In a coupla days will google it up. Hoping not to find somebody beat me there, as they did with ‘couthless runt’ ( but AFAIK I was first to apply it to Ann Coulter.)

      • george lastrapes

        I did google it! Not a sign of Trump-Strumpet. You are now a godparent, Not Flat, of a bouncing baby meme. You were there for the birth!

        • Not Flat – ROUND!

          I am filled with pride!
          And congratulations!

          • george lastrapes

            Just use it, early and often. The first week is the most perilous time in a neomeme’s life, so many perish from disuse.

      • Bebecca

        Isn’t strumpet a delicious fruity breakfast food?

        • Not Flat – ROUND!

          I think you are thinking of crumpet.
          Strumpets actually means female prostitutes, but we’re trying it out as a name for Trumps Nazi supporters.

          • Bebecca

            No I was purposely mixing crumpets and strudels. Never mind.

          • Not Flat – ROUND!

            lol (a little late).
            My sense of humour is awake now.

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    I want to live long enough to see DJT broke and broken. I have to believe this will happen.

    • Bebecca

      I want his decision to run for president to be the worst decision any human has ever made (for him, we already feel that it’s the worst decision anyone ever made). I want his family to feel pain and suffering and I want them stripped of all their assets.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    “the remaining members of Donald Trump’s little business advisory groups decided Wednesday morning to pack it in and dissolve the councils.”


    <..<

    BWHAHAAWWAHHHAHAHAHA!

    oh, so much winning Lil Donnie Drama.

    • mancityRed6

      he pounds his fists against the posts and still insists it was all his idea.

  • TundraGrifter

    But there is still the National Diversity Coalition for Trump – to call that entity Astroturf would be an insult to a useful plastic product.

  • “Infrafukinstrukinnutz.

    It’s a word I just heard on Jimmy Kimmel’s monolog in regard to Trump’s Imprompturettes conference yesterday.

  • mancityRed6

    I’ll be sad if this hasn’t been linked yet
    http://crooksandliars.com/2017/08/shep-smith-fox-news-bookers-failed-find
    “Shep Smith: Fox News Bookers Failed To Find A Republican Willing To Defend Trump”

    • Not Flat – ROUND!

      Wow! You know Trumpy is becoming more and more isolated on his island of hate when Repubs won’t defend him on FOX!!!
      That was the best (and funniest) thing I’ve seen all day. Thank you.

    • Pisto75666

      Like trying to find a cheerleader to defend the homecoming King. Then again, midterms are coming, right?

    • Mehmeisterjr

      They couldn’t find a street whore? On the street? For crack? Sad.

    • gffish

      When Mango Mussolini can’t even get Steve King (he of the “Mexicans with calves the size of cantaloupes” fame) to go on television and defend him, he is in deep Russian pee-pee.

  • The council members let Trump know first as a courtesy that *they* were disbanding, and Trump used their courtesy to pretend *he* was disbanding the councils to make it easier on the CEOs.

    They should have just publicly announced the disbanding, as a fuck-you blindside to Trump.

    Oh, but *Trump* knows they quit him. He knows. And that’s *just* the sort of abandonment / “betrayal” that *eats* at him.

    • mancityRed6

      you know it just chaps his ass…just like that “fake” news that won’t let him support his base in pease.

    • JD Mulvey

      Like when Junior released his Russia emails because the NYT was about to release them?

      FOX crowed for days about how honest and transparent the young d-bag was.

    • davefromoregon

      The CEOs have egos also. Several sent email to employees indicating they had decided to disband.

  • SigDeFlyinMonky

    He could end up flying Airforce One to Moscow and asking for asylum.

    • mancityRed6

      I’d accept it.

    • Weird Fishes

      I will contribute 50 (50!) Ameros to offset AF1’s fuel bill!

      $50!

      I’m not kidding!

      • Alternative Dog

        That GoFundMe campaign would be wildly successful!

  • Joshua Norton


    Trump explained that anti-Nazi protesters are just as awful as Nazis

    .
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/730209aafd0ba50fbddefe15b16d75a645613f99ed7af4ab759f8df29d58fb11.jpg

  • mancityRed6

    http://www.pfaw.org/blog-posts/A-special-note-about-the-emboldened-white-supremacists-who-rallied-in-Virginia-this-weekend
    “A special note about the emboldened white supremacists who rallied in Virginia this weekend”
    “John Oliver hit the nail on the head when on Sunday night he noted, “Nazis are a lot like cats. If they like you, it’s probably because you’re feeding them.””

    • Paperless Tiger

      Meow!

  • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist
    • redarmyzombie

      *crickets*

  • JD Mulvey

    Every Republican is suddenly horrified about racism.

    I’ll believe it when they end their voter suppression campaign.

    • brucej
    • Mehmeisterjr

      In that case, you’ll never believe it. But we all knew that.

      Rupert opposes Bannon only because Bannon makes it too undeniably obvious and Rupert adheres to the Just-Racist-Enough-to-Slide-By policy.

      Watch him topple Trump as a Russian plant whilst and at the same time pretending that Pence is not also a Russian plant.

      It could be a tricky play, since Pence is Bannon’s plant. And Ryan is in it all up to his eyebrows.

  • Relativicus

    “My idea! My idea! I thought of it first! My dad’s a lawyer!”

  • faroutinNM

    “…and my remote. I need my remote…and that’s all I’m taking with me… and this lamp.”
    Of course, one recognizes that Trump was NOT “born a poor black child”. But, he IS a jerk.

  • The Librarian

    I’m not surprised the rest of them bailed. The noise on the Twit was deafening last night, especially Tweets to those CEOs who remained mum until the bitter end.

  • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

    1) Pharma is a leader in higher & higher drug prices while at the same time taking jobs out of the U.S. Bring jobs back & LOWER PRICES!

    2) Now that Ken Frazier of Merck Pharma has resigned from President’s Manufacturing Council,he will have more time to LOWER RIPOFF DRUG PRICES!

    3) For every CEO that drops out of the Manufacturing Council, I have many to take their place. Grandstanders should not have gone on. JOBS!

    4) Rather than putting pressure on the businesspeople of the Manufacturing Council & Strategy & Policy Forum, I am ending both. Thank you all!

    Anyone else notice a difference in #4? When one of his Tweets does not sound like it was written by a 12 year old I have to wonder who wrote it.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Yeah, there is a certain, I dunno, literary style that differentiates #4. The absence of the words “bigly.” and “bad” clinch it.

      Still, if somebody in the Kelly camp wrote it, it is a wasted effort. Trump will never grow up. He will never pivot. You are working for a dangerous asshole.

      Admiral Harward was right the first time. This was a shit sandwich from the start. It is now a foot-long shit hoagie, prepared by Chef Bannon, a very good chef. Excellent chef. Everybody says he makes the best shit sandwich.

    • Bitter Scribe

      one of his Tweets does not sound like it was written by a 12 year old

      Are you referring to the prose style, or the lack of petulance?

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Chomorodis reticula could explain the Mooch-reported Steve Bannon stunt.

  • Rick Allen

    That cephalopod simile was my favorite simile ever.

  • Blutowski

    A meeting between these guys and Donald Trump must have been like a conclave of nuclear physicists brought together by Denise Richards. Except (a) Denise Richards is not a hideous Jabba the Hut clone and (b) she presumably understands that she’s not a real nuclear physicist–she just played on in a movie.

  • Trump is Nazissistic

  • Lily412

    It’s pretty bad when CEOs of fortune 500 companies find you reprehensible.

  • Magic Juan

    I thought there were a lot of other Ceos just chomping at the bit to get on that council…he he he

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