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Baltimore Mayor Catherine Pugh Gets It Done

You know how Confederate participation trophies should be removed? Tempting and appropriate though it might feel, dynamite would be messy and somebody might get hurt. Those things are sturdy. Barring a big kaboom, unceremoniously hauling them away like garbage is pretty good, even if it hurts the sensitive fee-fees of some Lost Cause glorifiers of the War to Preserve Slavery. Baltimore did exactly that last night, taking away four Confederate monuments in one quick move, leaving behind their lying pedestals, which can be dealt with later:

Apart from the purely military-tactics meaning of “great generals,” that whole thing is a bright and shining lie, if you don’t mind us mixing our wars up. Christian Soldiers? Sure, they prayed, and rightwing homeschool textbooks make much of that, but it was in the cause of enslaving human beings, which seems an afterthought for many Good Christians. Ah, but they “waged war like gentlemen,” which is so surreal as to bugger belief. Anyway, here’s some video of a crew hauling away the horses’ asses:

Credit goes to the Baltimore City Council, which voted unanimously Monday to remove them, and to Mayor Catherine Pugh, who put that vote into action without any delay or advance notice to lackwits who might show up with tiki torches. Pugh said she didn’t want any Charlottesville style bullshit:

“It’s done,” Pugh said Wednesday morning. “They needed to come down. My concern is for the safety and security of our people. We moved as quickly as we could. … I did not want to endanger people in my own city.”

Pugh was also facing some deadline pressure from protesters who had rallied Sunday at one of the monuments, to Stonewall Jackson and Robert E. Lee, and said they’d pull the statue down themselves if the city didn’t act quickly.

The city hasn’t decided yet what to do with the statues, and Pugh isn’t saying where they’re being stored for now. Wouldn’t want to inflame idiots who want to liberate them. She said in an interview with CNN that replacing them with historical markers might be one option:

“I do believe that it is a part of our history, and there should be something that says why that statue was once there, what it represented, and more importantly, why it should not be there,” Pugh said.

As of yet, she has expressed absolutely no interest in removing statues of George Washington or Thomas Jefferson. And another great landmark is also safe:

Needless to say, there was Lost Cause Butthurt from the usual lost causes, like

Carolyn Billups, former president of the Maryland chapter of the United Daughters of the Confederacy, called the city’s action sneaky.

“Rats run at night,” she said. “It’s very saddening, but at least the monuments were not torn down by angry mobs.” […]

“I want to know where they went,” she said. “What’s going to happen to them?”

Before they were removed, Mayor Pugh had said she was looking into seeing if Maryland cemeteries where Confederate soldiers are buried would take them; so far, they’re not interested, and would rather not have the things cluttering up their cemeteries and attracting protesters or white nationalist yahoos, no thank you.

Maybe they could be melted down, mixed with the tears of people who say history should never be forgotten but also say please stop talking about slavery because it was a long time ago, and recast into something nice. One of the statues taken down was of Supreme Court Justice Roger B. Taney, who wrote the Dred Scott decision. Can’t think of any better replacement than a statue of Baltimore-born Thurgood Marshall, who argued Brown v. Board of Education and was the Supreme Court’s first African-American member. Sure, Marshall has a couple other statues in Baltimore already, but what a perfect replacement for Taney.

Hell, just about anything would be better than any Confederate memorial. Maybe even the old crappy couch with the Barksdale crew sitting on it:

Actually, ALL statues in Baltimore should be Omar. Some should whistle.

Also, the deploragentsia on Twitter is very busy asking why Mayor Pugh wasted so much money on paying city workers to remove statues at night when she could have directed the funds to ending crime in the city, also in one night:

Oops, that last one is from earlier this summer, about how New Orleans really has fucked-up priorities for removing Confederate memorials before all crime was ended. What we want to know is why these folks are so worried about urban crime rates when there are so many logical fallacies still running rampant in America. Won’t someone PLEASE think of the red herrings?

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Please click the “Donate” linky to help us erect a statue of McNulty asking, “The fuck did I do?

[Baltimore Sun / WJZ-TV / WaPo]

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  • Msgr_MΩment

    Pugh, pugh, pugh, motherfuckers!

    • Terpsichord

      Bowing….

    • Eileen Besse

      YOU WIN. Subtlety always does….

    • Ill-Advised

      When can she run for another office?

  • Michael Smith

    Ohh, yeah I get it, they are insinuating that the Blacks are the Real Reason for the crime in Baltimore.

    • Gigglesnort

      It wasn’t very subtle. Crime is always Those People’s fault. And locking up more of Those People is always the answer to it.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      It’s subtle, but you can JUST get at it.

  • The Wanderer

    First the Colts, and now Taney, Lee, et.al.
    But thank Dynah Moe for Frank Zappa still there for the inhabitants of Baltimore.

  • Raan

    Melt them down and cast a statue of the 1983 Baltimore Orioles.

  • Michael Smith

    I would like to see a statue of Bodie. As McNulty said, he was a soldier.

    However, McNulty’s high praise inadvertently got Bodie killed because some rivals saw Bodie meeting with a cop and used it as a pretext to get rid of him. Damn.

    • Raan

      How about a statue of Bubbles getting his chicken fingers?

      This concludes my knowledge of The Wire.

    • leemoder

      Statue of John Waters.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Omar,

    • MrTusks

      I want a statue of Dominic West with a plaque that says, simply, “Fucking McNulty.”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    The United Sons and Daughters of the Mothers of Invention approve the Zappa statue PBUH.

    • OutOfOrbit

      and Billie the Mountain!

      • LesBontemps

        You don’t want to fuck with him.

  • You know what else got taken down overnight?

    Trump’s “business” council. Per WaPo:

    “Trump’s business advisory councils disband as chief executives repudiate president over Charlottesville views”

  • Marla

    Waged war like gentlemen?

    Jesus fucking Christ.

    • Raan

      Tell that to the 6th Artillery at Fort Pillow.

      Oh wait, you can’t. Nathan Bedford Forrest had them cut down while they were trying to surrender.

      • NastyBossetti

        Clearly, they were not surrendering in a gentlemanly fashion!

        • Ill-Advised

          Gentlemen oppress a whole people. That’s what the genteel do.

          Burning little girls in a church, and acquitting the arsonists, that’s polite behavior.

          Burning a city, that’s just rioting by white trash.

          Not that I’m bitter, or anything.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      “I say, my good man, it appears that I have stabbed you through the throat. Good day!”

      • msanthropesmr

        I SAID GOod Day!

  • JMP

    Melt them down, and use the metal to make statues of Nat Turner and John Brown to put up in their place.

    • Courser_Resistance

      That was my first thought. Melt ’em down and create monuments to minority leaders – we have many that deserve memorials. If we have leftover stuff, we can begin to honor human rights activists from other countries.

    • Amy!

      A friend of mine is proposing to put up a memorial to all the people lynched in our state (that we have documentation of). Possibly local, but I’m encouraging him to see if there isn’t a more symbolic or at least more accessible site.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    And another great landmark is also safe

    What–no statue for John Waters? Time to step it up, Baltimore!

  • writersbloc

    OT: Saw on RawStory another Fascist from the march lost his job once being outed- from a Pizza chain. How surprising these guys have shit jobs….

    • JMP

      What I want to know is how they flew to Charlotte with such shit jobs; the one guy was fired from a hot dog shop in fucking Berkeley, on the opposite side of the country. Who was financing the Nazis to get to their riot?

      • Major_Major_Major

        Soros because it was a FALSE FLAG!!!!11!!!!!!ELEVEN!

        • Resistance Fighter Callyson

          BOTH SIDES DO IT!!!!!

          • Major_Major_Major

            What about the time in Berkely, hnnngh? Violent anarchists leftists antifascists alt-left

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        Good point. Perhaps someone intrepid with a Journamalism Jerb should follow the money, and see if, say, any significantly large numbers of Tiki Torches were ordered in one place in the weeks before their Murder Riot?

        Or the shields/helmets/matching polo shirts?

      • greyXstar

        “Follow the money” is the most evergreen of phrases.

      • jesterpunk

        Its easy to have money for that when you still live in your parents basement and they pay for everything.

    • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

      Yeah, real captains of industry, those nazis.

    • Grumpy Twat

      Alpha males.

  • foiled again

    One of the many characteristics of bronze is its durability and resistance to corrosion- in the millennia to come articles made of the material will remain more or less intact while most other human-made things will fall to dust. Irrespective of what talent was brought to bear in the creation of these bronze casts, they should be ground to powder or melted down.

  • JMP
  • SayItWithWookies

    Does Baltimore have a memorial to the colored troops who came from there? Maybe they should. baltimorecityarchives.wordpress.com/tag/fourth-us-colored-troops/

  • Anna Rompage

    See how easy that was?

    One can only hope more municipalities follow suit…

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Needless to say, there was Lost Cause Butthurt from the usual lost causes, like

    Right, wingnuts…because leaving the statues be would be the perfect solution to crime in the city!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a966d120dd66017ac428635fbc421beef56fe833beb142f5b90f893ede94e6e9.jpg

    • Raan

      If you think about it, Mayor Pugh just prevented a wave of vandalism.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Polling from YouGov.com on many topics.

    64. Do you have a favorable or an unfavorable opinion of [Neo-Nazis]?
    Overall: Very/somewhat favorable = 5%
    Republicans: Very/somewhat favorable = 9%. Nine percent of Republicans are will to admit they like Neo-Nazis.

    http://d25d2506sfb94s.cloudfront.net/cumulus_uploads/document/9h2c1c3new/econTabReport.pdf

  • LesBontemps

    Won’t someone PLEASE think of the red herrings?

    Okay, I’m thinking, but I can’t decide between wine sauce or sour cream sauce.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    Why not the reverse argument?

    Why are we wasting taxpayer dollars on maintaining these pigeon-restrooms, when Confederate fuckholes haven’t done shit to live up to the tenets of equality enshrined in our country’s founding documents?

  • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

    So just this once these fuckers actually care about inner city crime?

    Yeah, right.

  • Jgb979

    There are still IN 2017 more monuments to traitors on the US CAPITAL than patriots.

    Why aren’t there 5 fold monuments to Grant?
    Why NOT memorialize Sherman’s March?
    These were US patriots who helped win a wanna be revolutionary war by insurgents.

    I mean for fuck sake Lee could not possibly be vain enough to need his bust in every small to mid size US city all over the south

    • laughingnome

      Lee Grant needs a statue.

      • Vicki Lawrence’s Covfefe

        Lou Grant, also, too.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Cary Grant, fer sure.

          • Major_Major_Major

            I would gladly erect a statue for Pell Grant.. In this admit, it would likely be a meorial in the truest sense.

          • Oblios_Cap

            Pell Grant’s the best!

          • Major_Major_Major

            Helped me out many a time.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            I couldn’t have gotten my degree without it!

          • therblig

            “Jew D, Jew D, Jew D” – that should set them off

    • The Wanderer

      “Why NOT memorialize Sherman’s March?”
      Every year, from Chattanooga to Savannah.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Needs more George Thomas, a true Virginia patriot.

    • NastyBossetti

      No idea if he was vain or not, but Lee argued against erecting confederate monuments, on the grounds that it would keep open a festering wound. Seems like he was right about that.

      • Jgb979

        They’re entirely serving the purpose they were intended for, as generations later there are still a not insignificant percentage of the population defending them.

        Which is why they all need to come down. Every single one.

        • NastyBossetti

          Yup.

      • Shibusa

        Slightly o/t but …. after Lee died, Frederick Douglass (who we all now know is an example of somebody who’s done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more) wrote:
        “We can scarcely take up a newspaper that is not filled with nauseating flatteries of the late Robert E. Lee…. It would seem from this that the soldier who kills the most men in battle, even in a bad cause, is the greatest Christian.”

        • NastyBossetti

          I bet Frederick Douglass would be recognized even more and MORE if we replaced a few of those confederate monuments with statues of him.
          Lee was said to be a particularly cruel slaveowner, but hey he was also a general on the losing side of a civil insurrection, so he definitely deserves to be lionized!

  • greyXstar

    Everything is a zero sum game with these mental subnormals. Oh you’re doing this? Then you’re obviously not doing this. Oh, you want equality for this group of people? Then you obviously want to hurt this other group.

    Fuck off.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Why is there a statute of Lee in Baltimore at all? Lee’s army never marched on Baltimore – never ever got close.

    • Eileen Besse

      ‘Cause morans.

  • Crystalclear12

    Nobody thinks of the red herrings😢

  • Thiazin Red

    You know what fuck it, make a dozen statues of Soros. Just as a total fuck you move.

    • Shibusa

      One in every public school!

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      That gave me the biggest laugh of the day. Thank you.

  • Shibusa

    Props for the Barksdale crew reference. I miss Omar Little.

  • ArgieBargie

    As it’s been said many times before: there are no Hitler statues, or any public displays of Nazism in Germany.

    • Bill D. Burger

      And they know today how to deal with Nazis….much better than our current government does:’

      [AMERICAN MAN IN GERMANY PUNCHED IN THE FACE FOR NAZI SALUTE
      BY TOM PORTER ON 8/13/17 AT 10:49 AM
      Newsweek:
      Police said that the American, whose name was withheld by police for privacy reasons, was being investigated for breaking German laws banning the display of Nazi symbols or slogans, adding that he had high alcohol levels in his blood at the time of the assault. The search for his attacker, who fled the scene, is ongoing.]

      • ArgieBargie

        I’m quite certain that’s the textbook definition of “Ugly American.”

        • Oblios_Cap

          Actually, in the book the Ugly American was the good guy. It was the diplomats who were in incompetent and condescending idiots.

          • ArgieBargie

            Leave Nikki Haley out of this.

      • jesterpunk

        But the Nazi had a permit and BOTH SIDES!!!!!!

  • beingreleased

    This sounds great and all, but what about the innocent victims:
    https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/897866624967077888

    • Oblios_Cap

      “you wear it well.”

      • From Russia With A Permit

        A little old fashioned bout that’s all right.

      • Eileen Besse

        “Madam Onassis got nothin’ on you.”

      • CindyinEncinitas

        A little out of time, but I don’t mind.

    • Blackest Noobs

      what will the flying rodent shit on now?

      i hear 1600 Pennsylvania Ave in DC is a fucking dump from the current resident.
      they can shit on that. or him. but mostly him.

  • Oblios_Cap

    I’m pretty sure it’s kind of hard to kill large numbers of your fellow countrymen in a “gentlemanly” fashion. Or a Christian one, for that matter.

    • I don’t know. Christians have been waging war for about 1600 years now. They’ve gotten pretty good at it.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Those New Testament passages where Jesus tells them to slaughter anybody they don’t like are truly inspiring…

        • Jesus said to go buy a sword, which clearly means Jesus wants me to have several fully automatic AR-15, 35 handguns, a Surface to Air missile, and a tactical nuclear device.

          With which to spread the love of God.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      There are four types of Civil War cannon projectiles that were used during the war.

      Solid Round Shot – This is a solid iron ball attached with metal bands to a wooden sabot. The powder bag is attached to the wooden sabot.

      Explosive Shell – This is a hollow iron ball filled with black powder. This projectile uses a fuse that can be cut at a certain length so that the iron ball explodes when it arrives at the target.

      Case Shot – Like explosive shell it is filled with gunpowder and uses a fuse. The difference is it has a hollow area that contains small iron balls, the shell explodes when it arrives at the target.

      Canister Shot – This is a canister filled with small iron balls that when used at close range acts as a giant shotgun. Canister shot is used against infantry and cavalry at close range. It is generally only used as a last ditch effort when the gun is about to be attacked. Cannons can be loaded with double canister which multiples the shotgun effect against the target.

      • Jonny On Maui

        Our innovation is the highest when we devise ways to kill each other.

        • Oblios_Cap

          That’s why the Federation of Planets has decreed a ban against contacting our world, lest we turn our destructive energies outward.

          I think.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Hear, hear.

        • Mr. Blobfish

          There’s another one I couldn’t find reference to. Two cannonballs chained together. Very efficient in taking down infantry. Who the hell thinks of that and sez “what a great idea”?

          • Oblios_Cap

            They were used at sea to break mainmasts, too, as I recall.

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chain-shot

          • NastyBossetti

            A particularly gentlemanly 12-year-old.

          • The Wanderer

            If I recall the Ken Burns documentary, the Union experimented with chain shot, but couldn’t get the two cannons to fire in perfect synch.

  • Joe Beese

    It is impossible to recall a presidential aide contemporaneously broadcasting his disgust with his own president.

    But it is important to understand the precise nature of their distress. It is emphatically not because they are shocked to learn their boss is a racist, a fact that has been established through numerous episodes… They are angry that Trump revealed beliefs they wish to keep hidden. “Members of the president’s staff, stunned and disheartened, said they never expected to hear such a voluble articulation of opinions that the president had long expressed in private,” reports the New York Times.

    This raises the question once again of why they are working for Trump at all.

    http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2017/08/trumps-aides-tried-to-conceal-his-crazy-racist-beliefs.html

    • hudson srinivasan

      typical log kya kahenge – what will people say syndrome. if it were not people pointing out, these people would would be totally ok with it.

    • weejee

      We were only following orders

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Party Uber Alles

    • (((fka_donnie_d)))

      The hands.

      Every last one of them covering their crotches. Ekman, the body-language expert, recognized this as culturally-independent pure defensive posture.

    • BeachBum

      I have no such question.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      *takes deep breaths*

      Votes…. Serenity now… Votes… Serenity now… Votes…

    • Gayer Than Thou

      This raises the question once again of why they are working for Trump at all.
      I feel like this is a trick question.

      • OneYieldRegular

        The Russians made them do it?

  • Iron Monkey

    I’ll take outrageous false equivalents for 500, Alex.

  • Thiazin Red

    OT. God damn it I chipped a tooth in my sleep last night. It doesn’t hurt or anything, but you know when you’ve got a cut or something in your mouth and you can’t stop feeling it?

    • OutOfOrbit

      in you sleep?! must-a been one hell of a dream you had

      • Oblios_Cap

        Did you finish the big marshmellow?

        • Suttree

          Nom nom nom nom

      • Thiazin Red

        I sleep pretty violently sometimes. I’ve woken up with bruises and a herniated disk before.

        • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

          SEE HOW VIOLENT THE LEFTISTS ARE!!!11

        • OutOfOrbit

          i reckon you must sleep alone

  • WiscoJoe

    This is the most boring, anti-climactic, drama free episode of The Wire ever.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Gotta keep the morons down in the hole…

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    Melt them down into bronze pacifiers that the sons and daughters of Confederates can come have a suckle on, every time they need a soothing when the tears of stupidity start welling up.

  • weejee

    OT: Hair Fuehrer has disbanded his manufacturing council, after 7 quit.

    • one_who_wanders

      I am torn between describing this as a Rage quit (as in video games) or as President Going It Alone (MRA).

      • weejee

        I take it as a sign that 45 is now at ShitCon Level 3, and sinking.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    The only statue I want to see is one commemorating Sherman’s March to the Sea.

    • laughingnome

      I’ve been hearing more and more about Sherman. He’s doing great things.

      • hudson srinivasan

        iswydt

    • Werewolf

      Seriously, though, you could put up statues of Southerners who fought in the US military during the Civil War. Every Southern state (except the arch-traitors of South Carolina) fielded units in blue. The commander of US forces at the Battle of Mobile Bay, Admiral David Farragut, and the commander of the Army of the Tennessee at Chickamauga, Chattanooga and Nashville, Major General George “Pap” Thomas, were both from Virginia.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    Carolyn Billups is busily creating a Pinterest page on repurposing all those old Confederate monuments into unique side tables and birdbaths for her beautiful garden of all white blossoms.

    • OutOfOrbit

      are those the same jammy pants you had on yesterday (& the day before)?

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        No, this morning I have on a black cocktail dress and elbow length gloves.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Oh, my!

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            I woke up like this.

        • OutOfOrbit

          i actually believe you! Do you table-dance?

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            No one wants to see me dance.

          • OutOfOrbit

            : (

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            Awwwwwwww

  • Shibusa
    • laughingnome

      That’s essentially his argument.

    • hudson srinivasan

      my guesstimate of a probable caption in a pictorial dictionary: a portrait of a model racist.

    • Baconzgood

      I used to hang about DC and get The Onion zine out of free news paper boxes. Now I feel they are a really hard core investigating tabloid. Well Senators have brought the Onion on the floor of Congress to decry “abortion clinics” and they quote Rush all the time. so it must be a valid news source. Like 4chan or Liberty “University’s” news paper.

      • arensb

        and they quote Rush all the time.

        Which one? “Feminism was invented to make ugly women dateable”, or “A spirit with a vision is a dream with a mission”?

  • Scooby

    That’s just Peaches & Regalia

  • Jonny On Maui
  • WiscoJoe

    Coming soon to Fox News: Sure, Baltimore won’t allow statues to honor great generals and Christian soldiers, but they’ll put up statues to honor dog poop eating drag queens? HRMMPEHP????

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ec99e4782e83278782154f5ab74e3c6b9fd294e3ffe4c70c34f84e74af71a2ba.jpg

    • Nockular cavity

      YES! “In byootiful downtown Baltimer!”

  • Walter Wellstone
    • jowgajen

      From the article he seems to just have a rumor or a hunch that there’s a warrant out for him rather than any real confirmation.

      • Walter Wellstone

        The point is that he’s shitting his pants even with just a rumor. Regardless, he’s fucked. Everyone knows who he is, what he’s done and what he stands for. If I were him I would hope the cops get me and keep me safe in a cell before someone else does.

        • jowgajen

          Can’t upvote this Walter. I’m fine with notifying employers and schools and whatnot so folks can exercise their rights of free association. I’m fine with defending ourselves on the streets. But I’m never gonna be ok with initiating violence.

          • Walter Wellstone

            There were comments on the tweet that did just that. Perhaps I should have clarified.

    • HazooToo

      Yes, yes he is. What, people are just now figuring that out?

    • Raan

      BREAKING: Neo-Nazi Punk Bitch Reveals Self To Be Punk Bitch

    • Mace America Great Again

    • TJ Barke

      Know why people want to kill you, you stupid fuckface? Because you’re part of a movement that advocates oppression and FUCKING GENOCIDE!

    • jesterpunk

      Didnt he mace himself?

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Hitler never cried. Suck it up, tough guy.

      • The Wanderer

        He did at least once; when his niece Geli Raubal died, and the anniversary of her suicide for years afterward.

    • Suttree

      That was fucking pathetic. I thought that he was big and bad and could kill people with his bare hands?

      • Walter Wellstone

        Nope; just a short, bald, pudgy little toad who’s probably never seen a woman naked in real life.

    • greyXstar

      Oh the dude who talk all kinds of tough shit on Twitter under a pseudonym is actually a punk bitch? I’m shocked.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I could’ve sworn the chant was “blood and soil” instead of “snot and whinging”.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      It’s totally like King’s The Letter from Birmingham Jail,
      except it’s Terror-pissing from Mommy’s Basement Where I’m Hiding

      Have the courage of your convictions, fuckface.

    • therblig
    • aureolaborealis

      Is there an Alaska connection with him?

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    As long as Mr. Boh’ still watches the harbor from Fells Point

    • Terpsichord

      The lighted Mr. Boh is in Canton ( O’Donnell Street), just around a bend in the harbor from Fells Point.

    • The Wanderer

      I almost went Kipling all over this, but suddenly thought that you were not referencing The Ballad of Boh Da Thone.

  • timpundit

    OT – trump disbanded the Business Council…kajigger thing everyone was resigning from.

    • Blackest Noobs

      wait where did you hear this? and yeah…that makes sense…i mean it’s not like they’re 1930’s business people who didn’t mind working with Nazis….and though Trump a bumbling member of Hydra…they still nazis.

  • Joe Beese

    Undeterred by the fact that the council no longer exists, the CEOs of GE and JP Morgan Chase publicly wash their hands of association with it.

    • weejee

      They were a little slow.

      • BeachBum

        Greed has a way of doing that to people.

    • greyXstar

      Profiles in Courage

    • hudson srinivasan

      however the humilation comes, we need to take it. this guy has crossed all boundaries. he cannot possibly be the leader of the free world now.

    • Sean McLaren

      I think Voltaire got his prayer wrong, it should have been “oh Lord, make my enemies cowards”

      see also: Nazi guy from the Vice doc sobbing and crying about how scared he is because there’s a warrant out for him.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Carolyn Billups can store them in her back yard if she is so concerned.

  • Melt the statue of Stonewall Jackson and recast it as a Stonewall protestor, resplendent in drag. Melt the Robert E. Lee statue and recast it as a statue of Bruce Lee, or even better, Sheila Jackson Lee.

    • The Wanderer

      Melt it all down into a lump, and recast it as Donald Trump being sodomized by Malcolm X.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    Why not modify the statues, and mount a few Fleshlights in the appropriate places, so some people can pay homage to their “heritage,” while others can “do the same.”

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Maybe they can melt these down and make playground equipment. Nothing is more glorifying than have a child pee on a slide that used to be Stonewall Jackson’s face.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Along those lines, melt them down and make them into toilets…

  • m3bosha

    Blindsiding the butthurt racists was a pro move. Kudos to the city council & mayor. Maybe you can auction off the statues and the statue humpers can do what they will with them (it’s a don’t ask, don’t tell sort of situ).

  • Joe Beese
  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Maybe a statue of Omar with a button that when pressed say’s “Omar Coming!”

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      That made me slap my knee a little.

    • therblig

      or “Way Down in the Hole”

    • doktorzoom

      (See rollover text on couch picture)

  • John Thorstensen

    The mention of dynamite brought this to mind — Nelson’s Pillar in Dublin:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nelson%27s_Pillar

  • HazooToo

    OT: This is supposed to be a must watch video, but how the hell do you watch it if you can’t get through 5 minutes without feeling like you’re going to vomit and cry? https://twitter.com/WangCecillia/status/897669020513705984

    • Blackest Noobs

      i’m kinda wondering…so Jew wants to replace them…replace them with what?
      dildos?

      hmmmm white racisty paranoid guy for kosher dildos?

      eh….i see no harm in that. ok Jew…replace away!!!!

      • jesterpunk

        I think they want to replace them with Not Nazi assholes.

        • Blackest Noobs

          sure but dildos will do.

          • Blackest Noobs

            i mean shit…i don’t really care for dildos nor want to put one up my hoo-ha….but i rather take the dildo than these white guys anyday of the week of any year of any century.

      • laughingnome

        These guys are useless.

        • Blackest Noobs

          and dildos are useful.

      • cmd resistor

        Homeless pigeons?

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        Woops! Jews might be, at the places where those Snotzis are losing their jobs!

    • jesterpunk

      That would be a great video during any kind of martial arts training.

      Instructor “Break these bricks”

      Look over to the TV

      Breaks bricks and puts a hole in the floor to the basement.

    • cmd resistor

      You have to drink first. That still might not help. I did force myself to watch the whole thing.

      • HazooToo

        I have a confession to make: Drinking doesn’t work for me. I’m sorry, fellow Wonkers! I know I’m worse than canned clams, but booze just makes me even sadder and more exhausted! I will repent of my sins by cleaning the damn kitchen tonight.

    • TJ Barke

      And baked dumbassa wonders why people want to kill him…

    • Righteous Action Jack

      You have to have a very strong stomach. I sat through the whole thing earlier because I felt obliged to. I will regret it when it haunts my nightmares, but at least it will keep my other, far worse nightmares company.

    • NastyBossetti

      Just watch it while thinking about the OTHER video everyone’s been posting today, which is of the guy in this video crying his bigoted eyes out because he heard a rumor that there might be a warrant out for his arrest and he’s scared.

      • HazooToo

        I hope he’s scared. I hope it’s true. I hope he pisses himself when they put the cuffs on, and they don’t give him a change of pants. I hope they send him to a prison that is entirely devoid of white supremacists. And I hope his family has a change of heart from top to bottom, and refuses to visit him ever, then shuns him when he’s released.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Funny, I didn’t see any of the “good” white supremacists Trump keeps talking about. I’m thinking he may be a liar.

        • NastyBossetti

          Come to think of it, I’ve never seen a good white supremacist in my life. You may be onto something…

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            FYI, thanks again for the info on the NOFX brew. I was a little discouraged at first because they have a minimum $35 order, not including shipping, and I didn’t really want a whole CASE of it. But I realized you can mix and match, so I got two 6-packs, plus some various singles of stuff I can’t find here to get the total right at the minimum. I’m glad I ordered right away, because in the few minutes it took me to get it all dialed in, their inventory of it went down by half! It doesn’t ship until early October, but I’d be happy to send you a few keepsake cans by way of thanks when it arrives. Seriously…just let me know.

          • NastyBossetti

            No problem! I ordered some myself, for me and 2 of my brothers. But thank you for the offer! Very kind of you.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Of course. Yeah, I’ve got a few people already lobbying me for some as well!

    • Baconzgood

      Is good network. They gave it to me for free on my cable provider, at first, now they want me to pay for it? funny thing is I get like eleventy billion fox channels.

      • HazooToo

        Yeah, if Sinclair gets their way, Fox is all we’re gonna get.

        • Baconzgood

          I get that. I read more than Upton book in my life.

    • TakingAmes

      Just imagine how pissed these guys would be if they had ever actually experienced oppression.

  • Nockular cavity

    Regarding that last tweet: crime doesn’t threaten the very existence of New Orleans; climate change does. I know, I know, fake news.

  • natoslug

    They were great generals and christian soldiers and waged war like gentlemen They were traitors who tried to tear the U.S.A apart so that they could pretend people were property, and were in no way gentlemen.”

    FIFY

  • elviouslyqueer

    Dear Baltimore,

    Being compared with New Orleans and Chicago is actually a pretty good thing. They’re both awesome, vibrant, and hella fun cities.

    Shake off the haters,

    EQ

  • Ricky Gay

    I hate the smell of butthurt in the morning.

  • Poly_Ester

    Store them at the bottom of Baltimore Harbor, Mayor.

    • jesterpunk

      That might be against the clean water act, you can’t dump toxic waste into the Harbor.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    I’ve said it before and I’m sure I’ll have to say it again at some point, but those of us who live in Chicago just LOVE it when people who have no fuckin’ clue what they’re on about talk shit about the heartbreaking murder rate here. LOVE. IT. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a46da15ed2d9b7e59af358cc425caf9f2ff41c0ee30e5aefe06dc03a9a99093f.gif

    • Jennaratrix

      You mean it’s NOT a nonstop murderpalooza and crime-infested shithole? But Preznit Twitler said so!

      • alpacapunchbowl

        There are neighborhoods experiencing serious, serious issues, driven by a complex combination of institutional racism; lack of economic opportunity (i.e., institutional racism); gutting of neighborhood (not magnet/charter, in other words) public schools (i.e., institutional racism); the state literally had no budget for years which led to funding for community outreach orgs and health facilities to dry up and tons of them closed (i.e., institutional racism).
        On the north side of Chicago where I and most of the white people live, you’d never guess in a million years what’s going on a mIle or two down the street. But Mr. or Ms. Anonymous Internet Racist, please do splainer to me how black folks in Chicago are violent animals who have created the fucked situation because that’s how they want to live.
        WHEW. Rant over. Sorry bout that.

        • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

          nah, you’re good…continue if and when necessary

        • TakingAmes

          I’m with you, man. I also live on the north side. We do have two cities. Not that Mayor 1% or Governor Billionaire-Who-Isn’t-in-Prison-Yet give a shit. They’d rather play city against downstate and rich against poor. Same as it ever was.

        • Jennaratrix

          No need to apologize, I’m a big fan of rants. I’ve even written a couple.

        • Ms.Moon

          That happened in New York as well my mom’s uncle lived in Red Hook long ago the garbage trucks would not come to get the garbage it was so bad. With gentrification the former residents of Red Hook who had been there forever have been priced out if they did not own their homes.

    • Infuriates me.

      Though i do take some comfort from the fact that we chased him away during the campaign.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        That did feel damn good, didn’t it?

    • dslindc

      But I changed planes at O’Hare once and was murdered 4 times!!!!!

      • therblig

        that’s what you get for flying coach

      • alpacapunchbowl

        ORD is the Northwest side’s roughest hood!
        Actually, the only Chicago neighborhood I’ve ever lived in that I felt constantly unsafe was a white primarily Polish/Eastern European area on the NW side.
        I hate Illinois Nazis!

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      My favorite comment is “LOLZ LIBRUL GUN LAWS NEVER WORK JUST LOOK AT CHICAGO LOLZ”

      Because Chicago being right next door to a giant open-air gunshow and outhouse called Indiana doesn’t affect the situation at all.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Naaaaaahhhhh. Nope. Couldn’t possibly have any effect.

  • beingreleased

    Regarding Paul Ryan, Mitch McConnell, and all those others saying “Racism is bad, but I’ll stick with Trump,” I was reminded of this:

    KING CLAUDIUS:
    My fault is past. But, O, what form of prayer
    Can serve my turn? ‘Forgive me my foul murder’?
    That cannot be; since I am still possess’d
    Of those effects for which I did the murder,

    My words fly up, my thoughts remain below:
    Words without thoughts never to heaven go.
    — Hamlet, Act 3, scene 3

    • Serai 1

      I keep thinking of Hamlet’s impotent rage in the garden:

      Oh villain, villain, smiling damned villian
      That one may smile and smile and be a villain!

    • We just saw ‘hamlet’ this weekend (terrible production but still ‘hamlet’). I am always struck by the cold hard logic of that speech.

  • I’d make insane Edgar Allan Poe stuff.

    But maybe that’s just me.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    OT, but also about things being taken down overnight: the CEOs bailed on Trump’s council en masse, but of course it was all his idea.

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/897869174323728385

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      If you say “you’re fired” in a forest of people who’ve already quit, is there any sound?

      • therblig

        only you can prevent forest fired

      • CripesAmighty

        The door slamming in your face.

    • h4rr4r

      I thought he had many CEOs just lining up to help him?
      Might he have lied?

      • CripesAmighty

        He forgot the sign he put up:
        “This way to the egress”

      • SomeBigRedDog

        The CEO of the Trump Organization is still there. ISN’T THAT ENOUGH FOR YOU???

    • CripesAmighty
  • Werewolf

    I was just in NOLA a couple of weeks ago (right before the floods). It was nice to see that empty pedestal where Lee’s statue was. Now they just need to rename Lee Circle.

  • Serai 1

    Slightly OT, Stephen is ON FIRE with this topic:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4sCA3QFqT8

    Not only does Stephen lack any fucks to give anymore, he actually DOESN’T WANT THEM. I’d love to see him go head to head with Twitler. The fireworks would be SPECTACULAR.

  • dslindc

    Removal of participation traitor trophies = Good!

    Removal of Bikeshare in ongoing petty revenge against everything Obama did = Bigly Stupid!

    https://twitter.com/washingtonian/status/897863278843637760

    • laughingnome

      Because he couldn’t pedal his fat ass around.

      • therblig

        if only they had white tires

      • NastyBossetti

        He probably doesn’t know how to ride a bike, even if he could pedal his fat ass around.

    • Like Reagan pulling solar panels off of the White House, stupid petty trolling, nothing more…

    • TJ Barke

      Petty goddamned asshole.

    • jesterpunk

      Because of course he did, its all about spite for this Nazi asshole.

    • SomeBigRedDog

      WELL AT LEAST WE KNOW HE’S PAYING ATTENTION TO THE THINGS THAT MATTER.

      *eyeroll*

    • Man of all the horrendous crap he’s done, this may be the most in character.

      What a complete loser.

  • Mavenmaven

    If they embedded then properly into the wall, the face parts would make fine urinals.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    These guys should worry how racially pure they really are.
    https://www.statnews.com/2017/08/16/white-nationalists-genetic-ancestry-test/

  • MynameisBlarney

    We’re in another timeline or something….right?

    Because…

    Romney? WTF?

    https://twitter.com/MittRomney/status/897612532386607104

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      As Republicans go, Romney wasn’t horrible. Still shitty, but better than most Republicans in office right now.

      • kareemachan

        I’d still like to know what was on those hard drives and computers that he lifted (illegally) from the gov’s office….

        • armed_bears

          Charming young maiden’s in Temple garments?

          • generalleeme

            HIs tax returns…

    • Jenny

      Wow

    • Blackest Noobs

      come on guy….Mittens wasn’t that horrible…really given what the Republicans chose instead, comparatively speaking.

      like Mittens just wanted to cut taxes…and he’s a Mormon….they all done with their racism shits years ago ( well kinda but nothing like this nazis-johnny-reb-pukes shits)

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Well, Romney was just a plutocrat and vulture capitalist. He wasn’t mean.

    • OrG in London

      Ok mittens, here’s your cookie. You still suck. And also too you’re a LOSER.

    • Shibusa

      Read the comments under that tweet. Yeeeeesh.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Noooo thank you, lol.

  • Baconzgood

    Funny thing is that the “Stars and Bars” is a battle flag of the army of NVA. You show any of these guys what the failed treasonous states banner of confederation is they have no idea what their looking at. They will think its the city flag of St. Louis…just saying. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/54ea0c35d0360b83654602af165fb55529a70d16a1ea2aaa5fbb5c2e68570fe0.jpg

    • False Flag!

    • h4rr4r

      No,
      The stars and bars is the flag you posted.

      • Baconzgood

        It was. But NOW it’s thought of differently. as a man from PA who goes to Gettysburg every other summer I know better. However, moran from Michigan thinks that this is NOT the flag of the “confederates”/ or traitors of the united states of America.
        BAGGGAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

      • Baconzgood

        Actually there were more than 12 corps in the army of NVA over time. each with their own specific battle flag. I remember one had yellow on the borders. But like I said. Those are the battle flags of the Army of Northern Virginia, and I go over to Gettysburg every other year (the other year I go to lake Erie or Chicago).

    • The Wanderer

      NVA?
      North Vietnamese Army?
      (Just kidding – I knew what you were referring to.)

    • I just don’t want to get sent back to Tars and Spars

    • PubOption
  • Joe Beese

    Isn’t it ironic that after all the criticism of Trump for not denouncing the white supremacists by name, all of the politicians coming forward today to tell us how much they disapprove of racism refuse to name the person who prompted their statements?

    https://twitter.com/CharlesPPierce/status/897888447917993985

    • greyXstar

      You can’t expect them to know how to tag him in their posts. It’s not like everyone on Earth has seen his Twitter handle 100 million times.

    • jesterpunk

      My congress critter wont say Trump’s name and anyone who tries to get him to gets yelled at by Trump supporters with their both sides bullshit.

      (Also sorry for the downvote, I meant to upvote it but my stupid phone hit the wrong arrow.)

    • Me not sure

      Republican condemnations of racism and fascism ring about as true as fish denouncing water.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum
  • Pinkham’s Law

    OT, but a happy funtime post seems the place for it:

    Pink may have a new gig lined up! I’ve been informed that along time friend doesn’t want to cook for groups anymore, and wants to pay someone to do it for her. Since she’s involved in, like, twenty’leven different things, she has to do that 2 or 3 times a week. She wants, I’m told, to talk to yrs truly by the end of the week to work out details. This could actually be fun!

    • Don’t be a chicken! “In The Kitchen With Pinkham” just may become a regular Wonkerfood feature!

    • Oh congrats how exciting!

    • Woohoo! Happy times!

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Hey, that’s awesome! Congrats!

    • Red Bird

      Will you still give us recipe suggestions???

      • Pinkham’s Law

        Absolutely! In fact, it makes it much more likely. Now that I’m just cooking for me, it’s difficult to justify spending the time and $$ to make a meal that’s interesting enough to share.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Getting paid for something you love to do — life doesn’t get much better!

    • SnarkON

      Do not try to sneak any canned clams into the recipes, dude.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        What kind of MONSTER do you take me for?

  • Joe Beese
    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      There’s a Trumps law that for every stupid thing that comes out of his mouth, there’s a prior tweet criticizing someone else for saying the same thing.

      • CripesAmighty

        What’s so inept about it, in this case, is that Joe’s gaffes were part of why he’s so loved–in that he is of such transparent good will and humour. Didn’t get it then, doesn’t get it now

        • foiled again

          That, and his bitchin’ Trans Am.

  • SomeBigRedDog

    How does one wage war like a gentleman? Say excuse me before stabbing your enemy with your bayonet? Wear a cravat and make sure to stop your slaughter in time for tea?

    • The KGB Ate Our Votes
    • laughingnome

      The southern revisionists made a big deal out of the supposed gallantry and nobility of the Lost Cause. Kind of sickening. Gone With the Wind schmaltz.

      • Red Bird

        That’s another movie I think is garbage.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      “We jumped out from behind bushes while the British came down the road in their bright red jackets, but never has a war been so courteously declared. It was on parchment with calligraphy and, ‘Your Highness, we beseech you on this day in Philadelphia to bite me, if you please.'”

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      It meant the Confederates confined themselves to murdering prisoners only if they were black.

      • Werewolf

        Uh, yeah. After the Battle of Olustee in Florida, the South Carolina troops bayoneted wounded US soldiers, none of whom were Blah.

        • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

          I don’t see anything about that in the battle’s description on Wikipedia, though I was more referring to it being semi-official Confederate policy to murder black captives and their white officers.

          EDIT: Whoops, saw the part in aftermath about murdering black Union wounded.

          • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

            If they were feeling charitable they might enslave them, also.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Google the origin of the word “deadline”. It came from Andersonville prison.

        • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

          Oh I know, I have an ancestor who died of typhus there. But the phenomenal death rate there was only party due to malice and was never official policy.

      • grindstone

        Google up the Shelton Laurel Massacre, while you’re at it. What a lot of redneck southerners don’t recognize is that it truly was “brother against brother”. The south was in no way united and a lot of middle class folks had no intentions of fighting the rich slave owner’s war.

    • Suttree

      The wearing of the cravat started with a band of mercenaries in the 17th called the Croats. Not to be confused with Croatians, although they did make up a fair percentage of the Croats of course.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    A ‘Confederate presidents‘ Wikipedia page was briefly updated to include Donald Trump

    *snicker*

    • CripesAmighty

      It’s gone? Awwww.

  • mrFawkes

    “And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor 
Shall be lifted – nevermore!

  • The KGB Ate Our Votes
    • jesterpunk

      Colonel Angus

  • MynameisBlarney

    Couldn’t resist this one.

    Sorry. Not sorry.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DHNITt4W0AAZ102.jpg

    • The Wanderer

      Hee!

    • foiled again

      Man, that is ruff.

  • Me not sure

    I’m reasonably sure that the police departments in all these citys remained on duty while this was done, also too when potholes are repaired. Multi-tasking government is something Democrats do pretty well. You’re welcome!

    • Carpe Vagenda

      and now they don’t have to spend OT on babysitting WATB torchbois instead of, say, youth basketball or something else that has a measurable affect on crime.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    If they need some replacement statues
    http://msmagazine.com/blog/2011/02/28/the-brave-black-women-who-were-civil-war-spies/

    “Other intelligence work involves black women working as domestics. The story of Mary Elizabeth Bowser [PDF], less well-documented than Tubman’s but no less intriguing, is a fascinating tale of a brilliant woman who worked with an urban spy ring in the Confederate capital said to be “the most productive espionage operation” in the Civil War.

    Bowser is said to have had a photographic memory. When she assumed the identity of an illiterate slave women and found a place as a house servant in the Confederate White House, she was able to gain access to lists of troop movements, reports on the location of Union prisoners, military strategies and treasury reports. She passed the information along to Union forces until she was discovered and fled Richmond near the end of the war.”

  • Blackest Noobs

    my new campaign:

    replacing racisty Nazis-wannabe white guys with dildos.

    it’s the right thing to do. it’s the Jewish thing to do ( cuz we Jews love to replace white guys)

    ok technically not a Jewish person but i can remedy that, is there a Rabbi in the house, is there a Rabbi in the house????

    • laughingnome

      You can convert by watching Woody Allen movies over the weekend and stop eating pork.

      • Okay, but, uh… is there like a Confessional booth I can go to if I… accidentally eat a bacon cheeseburger every day?

        • laughingnome

          Nah, you just have to really enjoy it.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            And remember that god can’t see trayf through dumpling skins.

          • Maggielle

            My psychiatrist used to tell me about his Orthodox Jewish grandma who’d sometimes treat him to crab cakes in the basement of their Baltimore house. It was their little secret because god wasn’t watching them in the basement. Grandparents can be wholesome and subversive at the same time.

        • Gigglesnort

          There is a Day of Atonement.

        • The Wanderer

          Ham and Swiss on Matzoh.

        • Shanzgood

          It’s ok if you just put it in your mouth and don’t move it around.

          No, wait. That’s Mormons.

          • TakingAmes

            HAHAHAHAHA!!!

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        One of Woody Allen’s funniest lines (from an essay)–goes something like this:
        “Rabbi, why are we not allowed to eat pork?” the congregant asked.
        The reb answered, “We’re not? Oops.” The reb thought God’s covenant with Abraham was so much chin music.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        I’m down with the Woody Allen movies, but stop eating pork? That’s a bridge too far.
        Hang, on, does the Bible say anything about LONG pork?

        • Shanzgood

          I guess if you didn’t kill it yourself it would be kosher.

      • Blackest Noobs

        shit. pork? really? i dunno. i mean ribs are fucking good. like really really fucking good.

        and sure brisket aint bad either….but pulled pork or pork ribs….hmmm can’t i get a pass….maybe my own replacement for white guys would be pork.

        man…think of all the people you could convert to Judaism if you say exchange your broke-assed white person for some pork, and now you’re Jewish.

    • jesterpunk

      I would like to subscribe to your newsletter, also I would vote for you just based on that platform.

    • Righteous Action Jack

      You have my full support. I’ll organize a drive to donate used dildos. I’ve got a guy.

    • Rasilom

      I rhink I can help. I have a buddy that is always talking about his “Uses sex toy emprium”

  • Carpe Vagenda
  • jesterpunk

    Bad joke time

    A Nazi, a racist and the President walk in to a restaurant, the waiter says “Hello Mr Trump would you like your usual burnt steak with extra ketchup”

    • foiled again

      It’s funny because it’s true!

  • wobbly

    This is the letter my brother, who works as a public defender in Durham, N.C. gave to the Durham district attorney today:

    As a citizen of the United States of America since birth in 1952, a “Vietnam
    Era”veteran, and a resident of Durham County since 2008 (working in Durham
    since 1996), I urge you to exercise your prosecutorial discretion to dismiss all
    criminal charges against those who toppled the Confederate soldier statue on
    14 August 2017.

    Monuments to the Confederacy are an affront to Americans of all ancestries and
    in particular to veterans who put their lives on the line in service to our Country –
    including my grandfather who fought for the United States in World War I and my
    younger son who has served two tours with the United States Army in Iraq.

    The United States of America – not “the North” or “the Union” – won the Civil War
    more than a century-and-a-half ago. It is far past time for responsible public
    officials to declare the truth and act for the removal of all public memorials to
    those who betrayed and fought against the United States in 1861 – 1865.
    While the Rule of Law remains important, our leaders also should recognize
    and act to remedy government error.

    This is the Twenty-first Century. Public resources ought not be expended to
    prosecute mere damage to a Twentieth Century monument to Nineteenth Century
    crimes against the United States of America and against the people who remained
    loyal to our country.

    • BosGrl

      Love it!

    • YoBunnyBunny

      “The United States of America – not “the North” or “the Union” – won the Civil War”

      PREACH!!!!!

  • MynameisBlarney
    • armed_bears

      Thanks, Bob.

  • Joe Beese

    He has managed to become so reprehensible, and he has made the presidency* so utterly toxic, that the real leaders of American business, and the real owners of the country, are running away from him as though he’s a leprous beggar. He’s been president for less than 200 days.

    http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/news/a57052/trump-detractors/

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    I dunno, those empty pedestals definitely are testaments to the honor of the Confederates.

    “But there’s nothing there!”

    “Exactly.”

  • The KGB Ate Our Votes

    $40 for a cheap Chinese stuffed carnival prize anyone?

    https://youtu.be/i9qv8RSreIM

  • Indiepalin

    Burying these statues in Confederate cemeteries would seem the logical thing to do.

    • jesterpunk

      I think a better use would be to put them all on bombing ranges and let the military use them to test their weapons. It would have the added bonus of being very presidential so Brian Williams will be happy.

  • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

    is there some reason why baltimore–or any other city taking down the loser participation statues–cant just dump them into the nearest large body of water?

    • msanthropesmr

      EPA regs.

      • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

        they’re bronze…i’m sure the amount of bronze to be dumped is miniscule in comparison to the plastic, chromium, cadmium, pesticides and lead that are already there….i think all the little fishies will survive

    • jesterpunk

      Cant dump toxic waste into the water.

    • DerrickWildcat

      Put ’em all in a warehouse where Johnny reb can visit them and cry.

    • Permit-holder Ron

      I wanna make a joke here about the Patapsco River but I can’t think of one.

  • whitroth

    I *love* it. A beautiful black woman, who’s mayor of Baltimore, takes down the monuments built in the last century to intimidate blacks and Yankees.

    I need to send her an appreciatory email. Well done!

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      We all should!!! I’m sure she’s getting lots of LOVELY emails today….
      https://mayor.baltimorecity.gov/contact-mayor

      • whitroth

        Thanks, Cat Cafe. I just told congratulated her for her courages action to remove statues celebrating traitors and slavers.

  • cmd resistor

    OT, but Trump is heading to Camp David this weekend with his national security team, and Pence. They are going to figure out Afghanistan. Mattis says Trump is close to deciding on a strategy. “We’re sharpening each one of the options so you can see the pluses and minuses of each one so that there’s no longer any new data you’re going to get. Now [he can] just make the decision,” Mattis said. Meaning, we have made up some really nifty flash cards with pictures.

    • The Wanderer

      I know that the Taliban had told Trump to pack up and GTFO.

    • The KGB Ate Our Votes

      Trump’s already 170 days late with his 30 day plan to defeat ISIS.

    • The KGB Ate Our Votes

      What did Pence say upon returning from his walk in the woods at Camp David?
      “I’ll never do that again for two bucks”

    • jesterpunk

      Trump is going to offer to partner with the Taliban and open a casino together?

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
      • cmd resistor

        That made me laugh.

    • Werewolf

      What?! Lord Dampnut, slumming at Camp David?

  • whitroth

    By the way…I’ve read that a lot of the Roman slaves earned manumission after 20
    years (gee, the same amount of time you signed up to be in the Legions).

    Rhiannon Giddens Unveils “At the Purchaser’s Option”
    Which
    she wrote after seeing an ad, in a pre-Civil War paper, selling a
    female slave, and “at the purchaser’s option”, he could, or might not
    take her 9 mo old baby.

    “Southern civilization” wasn’t.

    • Finnibar87

      Well, St. Patrick was one Roman slave.

    • The Wanderer

      Yes, under certain circumstances Roman slaves could be manumitted after 20 years, but still had to attend their former master. Some were allowed to work, give a cut to their owner, but keep some (a ‘peculium,’ or ‘little money’) and if they saved up they could buy their own freedom.

  • BeachBum

    OT So why does Der Tripelhimler hate the free market, entrepreneurs, and making money ? Seems very Un-American. https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2017-08-16/trump-says-amazon-does-great-damage-to-retailers-shares-fall

  • Treg Brown

    Trump is not a president. He’s a TV personality, and con artist.

    If the United States of America is going to have a fake president, let’s make it this one.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d6d1d0ade94a8e722ed395096921ec0b924f982d87e947372b4c3c611a2de855.jpg

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Fun Fact: the area where the video was recorded is, or was at one time, a prime cruising spot, especially after bars close. There were practically traffic jams at 3 am on weekends back in the day. Met some very interesting fellows there.

    But, anyway, good job, Mayor Pugh!

  • Shanzgood

    I say put the statues up for auction and then donate the proceeds to the NAACP.

    Come on, Nazis. Just how badly do you want them?

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Melt them down and get rid of them or they will always be fetishized.

      • Shanzgood

        I hate the idea of doing that to art even if it’s depicting something awful. Something good should come out of it instead of just creating more garbage.

        • willi0000000

          hey! . . . they don’t have to melt down the horses.

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          I fully agree with you about art, but these statues aren’t art any more than Hallmark figurines are art. They were cheap, mass-produced commercially made generic statues designed in a frenzy of promoting the Jim Crow laws. http://jezebel.com/confederate-monuments-arent-history-theyre-a-cheap-cul-1797854438

          • Shanzgood

            Oh. Well, then, doorknobs it is.

    • Permit-holder Ron

      ‘What do they mean, reserved bid of $35 million?’

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Shanz, you are so sneaky!

      • Shanzgood

        Im not saying only Nazis can bid. If someone with enough Soros bucks wants to buy any of them and melt them down for doorknobs, that’s fine by me.

        • The Wanderer

          Melt them down for dildos, and after placing them on stands advertise the space as an interactive Confederate memorial. “Lube up and feel what it was like to be the cannon fodder back during the war you glorify so much!”

          • Shanzgood

            Well, why not chains, then?

        • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

          OMG! Thanks for reminding me. I’ve got 20 protest checks to cash. Soros, my man!

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      That there Beauregard will look good in front of mamma’s trailer.

  • Finnibar87

    I doubt Altanta is gonna blast to faces of Stone Mountain clean off, but it’s fun to dream.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      A shooting range… slow but steady…

      • Finnibar87

        I’d take a few shots.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Me too.

          • puredog

            I’m taking a few shots right now.

      • The Wanderer

        88 mm howitzer.

        • armed_bears

          Inside joke on artillery calibers. I like.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          155s, to make a point…

      • willi0000000

        there’s some folks at Ft. Knox who could take care of the whole thing overnight.

        [ the neighbors might notice the M1s though ]

        • Beanz&Berryz

          What’s one night with a little thunder…

  • armed_bears
    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      He absolutely is “You didn’t break up with me! I dumped YOU! Bitch! Fat cunt!”

      • armed_bears

        What a terrible little man.

        • puredog

          Upfists to J.K. Rowling.

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          You KNOW he’s one of those guys.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      I just like the idea of Trump saying “Whatever, you’re fired!” to an empty room.

      • armed_bears

        Can you imagine his inner monologue? He is a swirling mass of hurt, ego, diminution and fear.

        • wide_stance_hubby

          It would be like that episode of ‘South Park’ where we step into Cartman’s head. It’s a horrible place.

          • armed_bears

            Upvote, but old… Have no Cartman knowledge, but thanks for thinking I might!

          • wide_stance_hubby

            Hi, fellow old!

        • puredog

          Thanks, no, I’ll take a pass.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      But Obama’s tweet is the most liked ever. Real BAWS!!!

      • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

        So now it’s “balanced.”

      • armed_bears

        Yeah! Surely that bullet did not get there by accident. I think some closeted liberal Fox News intern slipped that into the HTML…

  • The Wanderer
    • armed_bears

      Specifically, it appears a flounder pounder.

    • willi0000000

      not a volunteer . . . it was pushed!

  • FrenchFriar

    I propose we force all the whitey-tighty nationalists take a DNA test. Methinks there would be some embarrassed little fascists.

    • Permit-holder Ron

      ‘Pure white Americans, step forward!… no, not you Johnson. Or you, Hastings. Or you, McTaggert. You three hand in your uniforms, and I’ll be taking those torches too.’

      • Finnibar87

        Skin pigmentation is such a trifle in the human genome.

        It’s pretty meaningless.

        • The Wanderer

          A long time ago I was asked a question about race, and I paraphrased Elizabeth Tudor: “There is only one race, and it is called Human. Everything else is a dispute over trifles.”

          • Finnibar87

            The norm for humans is brown skin color.

            We caspers – like me – are pretty much mutants.

          • The Wanderer

            Being part Irish, I tend toward the pink.

        • FrenchFriar

          Yikes. A pedant. Loosen up, sport. This is a satire site……

    • Finnibar87

      There is no gene for ‘race’, however.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        The NatGeo one does trace you as far back as they can though, my peeps apparently originated in Libya. I know a few people I would be just tickled to see their heads get all ‘splodey when they read their results telling them their DNA traces back to sub-Saharan Africa.

        • jesterpunk

          Wouldn’t that be everyone?

          • Shanzgood

            That’s what I was about to ask.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Now where’d you get an idea like that? One o’ them liebrul science books? Wake up sheeple!

        • Permit-holder Ron

          ALL our DNA traces back to Africa.

  • Permit-holder Ron

    Dok asked:

    Won’t someone PLEASE think of the red herrings?

    In Baltimore? It’s not red herring, it’s soft-shelled crabs. Sheesh, you Midwesterners.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      As long as you don’t make me finish the scrapple I ordered out of morbid curiosity and to be a good sport.

      • Finnibar87

        Don’t order the Skip’s Scrapple.

      • willi0000000

        i like scrapple . . . it’s almost as good as Spam™

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Giving me the hard sell, eh?

    • theblackdog

      Now I want to go crack some crabs.

  • Daredevil
  • OrG in London

    BBC is basically calling bullshit on “both sides do it”.

    • The Wanderer

      Good for the Beeb.

    • Finnibar87

      Well, they should know, having kicked some Nazi ass all on their own.

      • OrG in London

        Yep. We’ve been seeing parts of London that were pretty much destroyed in the blitzkrieg.

  • Empress of the Iguana People

    The thing with heads of government? They can multi-task. A mayor can have climate change, crime reduction, infrastructure repairs, and statue removal all on her plate and deal with them. Not hard to figure out that removing statues is going to be a much faster process than fixing the crime rate, much less do anything about climate.

    • Permit-holder Ron

      ‘The thing with heads of government? They can multi-task.’

      Since when?
      – DJT

      • willi0000000

        does simultaneous shitting and twitting count?

      • Empress of the Iguana People

        Feh, he’s no leader.

    • DainBramage

      It seems that their critics are severely limited mentally. They can only think about and do one thing, white supremacy. They’re projecting their mental limitations onto their betters.

    • Ms.Moon

      Or send white trash trucks to the home of the president.

  • cheetojeebus

    Oh Sheeeat.

  • Red Bird

    The first step in becoming truly Christian is to remove the false idols from your life. Good job America.

    • Begin Anew Day

      Shush You!

      Next you’ll be telling Americans to cool their jets on the sports ball cults.

    • willi0000000

      sorry (not sorry) . . . The United States of America has an atheist government.

      [ non-militant though, the government doesn’t care if you have a religion or not ]

      • Red Bird

        Yeah I was trying to say that the statues of the Confederate soldiers were false idols for the white supremacists.

  • Daredevil

    Why does Maryland even have Confederate monuments anyway? I know they were a slave state but I don’t recall them fighting with the confederacy?

    • Finnibar87

      The Mason Dixon line ran through MD.

      • The Wanderer

        Northern border of the state.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      About a quarter of all Maryland men who fought defected to the Confederacy. As to why they have monuments to them, the same as the rest of the South: as a re-assertion of white supremacy.

      • SomeBigRedDog

        So they betrayed their state in order to go betray their country. They definitely need a monument.

    • Me not sure

      Some of the first casualties of the war occurred when Federal troops marching to DC were attacked by armed rabble in Baltimore.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        We have never lacked for rabble here in Mobtown.

        • Me not sure

          …or America at large.

    • Permit-holder Ron

      They didn’t. Though south of the Mason-Dixon line they remained in the United States.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      The Sons/Daughters of Confederacy have a very strong contingent in Maryland. If you go to the old historical cemeteries like Loudon Park or Greenmount, you’ll find a lot of graves of Confederates soldiers and officers.

      In Loudon Park they even have “Confederate Hill” which is basically a burial plot for confederates that were killed in the war. Sons/Daughters of Confederacy actually did (still do?) fund raisers to purchase headstones for them, which isn’t necessarily bad, because common lowly soldiers deserve some marker of their existence.

    • willi0000000

      D.C. is a carve-out from Maryland and effectively surrounded by it . . . if anybody thought Lincoln would let that state go confederate they just aren’t thinking.

    • John Robinson

      Oh, this was a big sympathizer state, and still largely is, once you get out of Baltimore and the DC counties. MD would have seceded, or given it a good try, if Lincoln hadn’t brought the Federal hammer down early and hard. That drunken mob that attacked the Mass. troops changing trains was pretty representative, although of course drunken Baltimore mobs have a long and honorable history, all the way back to the one that won the Battle of North Point, where a drunken Baltimore mobster aimed at someone else and hit the British General by accident. The Lee-Jackson statue was (I think) the only one outside the Olde Confederacy, and was still being celebrated annually up to this year. Heck, we just recently changed the name of Robert E. Lee Park to Lake Roland. The northeast corner of the state had (and probably still has) a pretty active KKK branch when I was a kid, and there are probably branches all down the shore and out to the mountains. Traditional Family Values die hard in this state.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        RE: Robert E. Lee Park to Lake Roland. I grew up near there (the neighborhood where ‘Pecker’ was filmed) and it was always called Lake Roland by locals, even though it was not its actual name.

        • John Robinson

          Oh, yeah – everybody called it that. Now that’s the official name, though.

    • theblackdog

      They didn’t officially fight for the confederates, but there was a good chance they would have if Lincoln and the feds didn’t take the action of tossing the pro-secessionist state legislators in jail.

      http://teaching.msa.maryland.gov/000001/000000/000017/html/t17.html

      I’ve been meaning to do more research but a friend of mine told me the other day that it was the rural MD counties that were pro-union but Baltimore and the counties closer to DC were pro-confederate.

  • Me not sure
  • bookish

    https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2017/08/trump-charlottesville-white-supremacy/537045/

    This might be politically successful. Trump has shown an acute sense for how to push the envelope of racist rhetoric and policy, going far beyond what any mainstream observer would have thought politically possible during both his campaign and his presidency so far—though the presidency has been a series of stumbles. Trump and the alt-right help push each other forward into the mainstream of American politics, and now the president is using the bully pulpit to keep helping his allies. Trump is not much for loyalty per se. He is doing so because he sees a political upside in both appealing to and whipping up a sense of grievance among whites who would never explicitly align themselves with neo-Nazis, but might be made to believe that their culture is in danger because of the removal of an old statue.

    In the aftermath of the press conference, even Trump’s media allies seemed initially appalled, and the press said the president had veered off the rails once more. But that misses the point. A senior White House official expressed surprise, telling CNN’s Jeff Zeleny, “That was all him—this wasn’t our plan.” Yet the White House fired off a set of talking points to members of Congress that didn’t blink. “The President was entirely correct—both sides of the violence in Charlottesville acted inappropriately, and bear some responsibility,” they stated. Though plenty of observers are disgusted by the president’s validation of racist protesters, no one should be surprised or take it as a spontaneous riff: It was one of the most cogent, precise, and enduring cases he has made as a politician.

    • puredog

      I liked the quote from an unidentified White House senior official that appeared in WaPo: “Clean-up on aisle Trump.”

  • redarmyzombie

    Sorry, can’t help it, but reading the start of this I couldn’t help but think:

    Dok: We here at Wonkette strongly urge you not to vandalise Confederate statues.
    Editrix: I don’t give a fuck.
    Dok: We here at Wonkette strongly urge you not to dynamite existing Confederate statues…

    • wide_stance_hubby

      May we hurl large pointy votes at it?

      • SomeBigRedDog

        Can I pee on one? Just once.

        • OrG in London

          Yes,yes you can.

        • altleftjohn

          If let you pee on it then all the others will want to pee it too.

          • SomeBigRedDog

            Is that a problem?

        • wide_stance_hubby

          The one depicted coming down in the video has had worse than pee on it, trust.

    • Jennifer R

      Someone has to exercise a degree of legal distance.

    • Randy Riddle

      Hey, if something should happen to them while no one is looking, oh well!!

    • Begin Anew Day

      Baby steps.

  • spangled

    Lee himself never wanted such monuments built.

    “I think it wiser,” the retired military leader wrote about a proposed Gettysburg memorial in 1869, “…not to keep open the sores of war but to follow the examples of those nations who endeavored to obliterate the marks of civil strife, to commit to oblivion the feelings engendered.

    Who’s side are these “I’m not racist, I just want to defend our history” people on? Lee fought in the war and owned slaves, and even he thought the confederacy shouldn’t be glorified.

    • armed_bears

      Thank you… It’s so perfect a time and statement that I had to check to see if it was true:
      http://www.pbs.org/newshour/updates/robert-e-lee-opposed-confederate-monuments/

      • spangled

        The statue in Charlottesville was commissioned (by some rando stockbroker, not a Lee relative) 47 years after Lee died, and forged another 7 years after that.

        The myths perpetuated by the “Lost Cause” – some 40 years after the war – had almost nothing to do with what really happened during the Civil War. Pure revisionist history bullshit.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Some nazi dipshit calls R.E. Lee a “cuck” in 3… 2…

  • jesterpunk

    I have a better statue for all these Nazis, replace all the confederate statues with this.

    http://i.imgur.com/cyqKh56.jpg

    • willi0000000

      only if you leave the original commemorating plaque stating who used to sit on top (and apologize to the horse, if any).

  • Royal Ugly Dude

    I wondered why Baltimore had a statue of Washington Nationals pitchIng coach Mike Maddox. Turns out it was Frank Zappa.

  • Fancy Meau-Faux

    It is Baltimore. Melt them all down and make a giant John Waters statue.

    • Randy Riddle

      And Devine.

    • armed_bears

      Soft shelled crab, second choice… or third, if you go with Devine, too.

      • grindstone

        Miss Baltimore Crab

        • armed_bears

          Is that singular or plural?

      • theblackdog

        I’d be okay with a statue of Divine

  • Permit-holder Ron

    ‘Wage war like a gentleman’ = ‘Send the lesser ranks out to be slaughtered while I stay in the rear and drink bourbon.’

    • OrG in London

      Scotch or GTFO.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        Depends which side of the war they were on, I think.

    • georgiaburning

      Andersonville? Some gentlemen

  • puredog

    “Thurgood Marshall, who argued Brown v. Board of Education and was the Supreme Court’s first African-American member.”
    Took me a moment to be sure to remember that he was the “first” of only two, and that the second is Clarence Thomas. SMH.

    • Shanzgood

      Thomas doesn’t count in the same way Phyllis Schafley doesn’t.

      • Treg Brown

        I just remember she passed away!

  • Blanche Beecham

    Winners get statues. Second place is first place loser. No statues. #SAD

    Why do these rwnjs think they get trophies and statues?

  • MynameisBlarney
    • armed_bears

      If movies started out soundless, why do we have to listen to you?

    • TakingAmes

      Goddamn, why is he suuuuuuuuuch an idiot? So good in Galaxy Quest! The dilemma of whether I can still watch that movie without getting angry and throwing things at the TV when he talks!

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      This is Tim Allen’s rational thought? A question every moron creationist has asked since Darwin?

      • Jennifer R

        More rational than walking 630 grams of coke through an airport.

      • Me not sure

        What a tool!

      • Serai 1

        Boring, remember? Boring white man thinks he’s original.

    • Blackest Noobs

      so when does Tim Allen be funny?

      i’ve been waiting 20 years…still not funny. he funny now? how about now? No?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Galaxy Quest was brilliant. Not because of him though.
        He was perfect for that role though.
        A self-centered, shallow has been.

        • wide_stance_hubby

          No acting required.

        • Blackest Noobs

          sure which was aping Shatner. i get it. i saw it in a hotel. in florida. with a lovely lady from Canada.

          she was the best thing about Florida though.

          • Jennifer R

            Even better than the exits?

          • Blackest Noobs

            the girl? oh hell’s yes…i almost moved to Canada but it was short term romance.

          • willi0000000

            tell us more about this girlfriend you have “in Canada”

    • Jennifer R

      Why does a cocaine trafficker care about evolution?

      • Blackest Noobs

        monkeys gotta snort.

      • spangled

        the fucking HEIGHT of white privilege – Tim Allen getting to become a family friendly movie star after going to prison for cocaine trafficking.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      So Tim Allen talks about apes and Kirk Cameron talks about bananas. It’s hard to not draw some inferences here.

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        Ooooh! you beat me to the Kirk Cameron joke.

    • NastyBossetti

      Deep! I have another brain-bender for him: If I come to a fork in a road, and I go down the left side, does the right side continue to exist?

      • Red Bird

        No way. I thought evolution was a flow chart.

    • Pisto75666

      I seem to remember he said this same thing 5 or 10 years ago. No one cared then either. BUT, a question I’ve been wondering got answered from this tweet:

      There’re actually ‘Last Man Standing’ fans?

      • jesterpunk

        The casts family?

        • Pisto75666

          ABC, more like.

      • Treg Brown

        He was Santa Claus(e) right?

        • Pisto75666

          He was. Why that movie needed two more after it, I’ll never know.

    • altleftjohn

      And where does the sun go at night?

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Why aren’t there any baby seagulls?

        • Shanzgood

          Dammit, now I’ll NEVER get back on a normal sleep schedule!

    • Rags

      If my parents had me, why are there still parents?

    • OrdinaryJoe

      If modern human evolved from apes how come there are so many modern humans who are big assholes and apes are not?

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Doctors: “We have successfully implanted Kirk Cameron’s brain into Tim Allen”.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      If we evolved, why is he still here?

      • willi0000000

        because we evolved.

    • Pisto75666

      Just curious, did Drumpf ever pick someone to run the DEA because I think we just got ourselves a nominee!

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Because you’re an actor and you can’t think too good unless somebody else writes the words for you. Stop trying. You’ll hurt yourself.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      I was browsing to replies to this earlier and they were hilarious. This is the best though.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        A lot of the replies are good. Why is there more than one type of fish? Checkmate, atheists!

    • The Wanderer

      Because Tim Allen needs role models?

    • Mildred Broxon

      If we evolved from apes why are there still Republicans.

    • Serai 1

      Jesus fucking Christ, what a moron.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    OT: Yay, the hostage gets to live for another month.

    https://twitter.com/desiderioDC/status/897903065831018496

    • Blackest Noobs

      wait, Trump backed down?

      ha! it figures. man is full of shit, we all knew it.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Well, that’s something, I suppose. I don’t detest him any less.

    • The Wanderer

      How nice. Whinging little cowardly pussy-ass orange-skinned cracker.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Melt them down and make a giant statues of Ray Lewis stabbing a guy and Ray Rice beating his wife. Then make a statue of the Ravens owner with quote on how he’s scared to hire Colin Kaepernick because he sat during the National Anthem.

    • Red Bird

      A little extreme but I get your point.

  • bookish

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/08/16/poll-republicans-putin-russia-confidence-241701

    Russian President Vladimir Putin is enjoying rising popularity among Republicans according to a new poll from the Pew Research Center.

    The poll found that the share of Republicans expressing confidence in Putin doubled to 34 percent from 17 percent in 2015, when Donald Trump launched a campaign for the White House that was seen as friendly toward Moscow.

    Though most Americans view Russia negatively, Moscow’s overall popularity in the United States has risen since 2014, when it plummeted after the country annexed Crimea. Twenty-nine percent of Americans now have a favorable view, compared with 19 percent in 2014, the poll found.

    • SomeBigRedDog

      Huh, weird. Its almost like 20-30% of the country is just so dumb that they believe whatever old thing happens to make its way into their earholes.

    • spangled

      russia, the confederacy, nazi germany…..why do these people have no loyalty to the actual United States?

      • OutOfOrbit

        what is “the USA” exactly?

      • redarmyzombie

        It’s *almost* as if they’re a bunch of traitors…

      • Master Contrail Program

        No surprise from people who “love” America yet hate so many Americans.

    • therblig
      • Begin Anew Day

        Retro Ted Cruz?

        • therblig

          ted’s biding his time until russian-hating comes back into style – like after trumpy and his crime family are all in jail. then he’ll resurface from the ooze to reclaim the mantle of “anointed by god to rule america”.

    • Blackest Noobs

      Mittens had warned us Russia was the enemy, and we, i didn’t take it seriously..though at the time how could you take it seriously since Russia had contract’d out to France to build them, a world superpower, a helicopter carrier.

      i guess Mittens should have been more specific like Russia gonna place all their bets on a shitbag bullshitter and he would be the ruin of the U S of A.

      but then again, it was bound to happen, we’ve been too fucking complacent.

    • HorseChestnut

      It’s going to be fun when Putin’s approval rating goes higher than Trump’s. Good job, everybody.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Nazis…. Ruskkies…. Can the Republican party get any less American?

      • willi0000000

        “hold my beer and watch this!”
        -the republican party

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Branson, MO storekeeper who gave an interview this week about the confederate flag and how it’s not at all about race is the daughter-in-law of the national director of the KKK.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Shocking.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Such shitty liars.

    • OrG in London

      Why are they interviewing a shopkeeper from Branson?

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        I always figured Branson was home to a lot of white supremicists…

      • Carpe Vagenda

        because she sells “heritage” merch.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    It has become clear to me that my views on actual horses’ asses differ from most people’s.

    https://youtu.be/2Aj1lKAEKhY

  • Me not sure
    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Definitely not a concealed permit.

      • armed_bears

        Open carry state.

    • Blackest Noobs

      i wonder in a different universe if there are fish holding us up after catching us.

      • Shanzgood

        Thanks for giving me the satisfying image of all the different people I’d like to see wallowing around the bottom of a boat with hooks in their mouths.

        Ok, sorry. That wasn’t really your fault.

        • Blackest Noobs

          i’ll bear that cross; just one of many…

          • Shanzgood

            Wait, I thought you wanted to be Jewish?

          • Blackest Noobs

            ha ha ha i’m just playing…just was doing thought experiments…like they think Jew wants to replace racisty white people…so i ran with it.

          • Shanzgood

            I got that, I was messing with ya, too!

          • Blackest Noobs

            but do you know a guy? how do you get to be Jewish? is there a secret decoder ring?

          • Shanzgood

            I have no idea, not being even remotely Jewish!

      • georgiaburning

        Only fair.

      • Me not sure

        …and then very large cats holding up the fish?

      • Begin Anew Day

        Nawwww, fish have class.

    • Mildred Broxon

      One doubts he outsmarted it.

      • Me not sure

        Fishing is at least 80% luck even among the best.

  • John Robinson

    ‘“Rats run at night,” she said.’ Ha! Shows what she knows (which, spoiler alert, isn’t much). Here in lovely Baltimore, and in also-lovely DC, rats are perfectly happy to run around in the daytime. In fact, the last one I saw casually trotting down the sidewalk in DC was kind of irritated that we were sitting on its stoop, and flipped us off before diving down into its hole about three feet from my feet. The rats mostly tolerate us all equally, but I find them a lot more likable than I find the Nazi shits. Rats are smart and basically pretty decent, as destructive pests go. Given the choice, I’d take the rats every time.

    • therblig

      i accidentally ran over one on a bike ride once here in jersey city. unlike a neo-nazi shit, it didn’t sit there crying. it got up and went about its business.

    • Crystalclear12

      Did you have permit to be on it’s stoop?!

      • John Robinson

        I was squatting.

        • Crystalclear12

          Humans. . . worse than pigeons!

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      OMG so true! In DC where I park my car they are not shy and big as cats. Also too, they will just ask you if you can spare a fucking dime or piece of trash to gnaw on. Sassy bastards.

    • Ms.Moon

      New York subway rats do come out in the daytime as well. They run on tracks and don’t get fried by the third rail so they’re plenty smart and I like them better than Nazis slightly better but the intelligence of the subway rat gives them the edge.

  • Begin Anew Day

    Being an old I now turn to the younger wonkette readers to help me out.

    Can someone, please, insert the Sonic Youth anthem “Youth Against Fascism” from the sublime DIRTY album into these comments?

    An old man thanks you in advance.

    ;>)))

    • jesterpunk
      • Begin Anew Day

        Thank you.

        AWWWWWW! Yes! Sonic Youth!

        • jesterpunk

          I thought I was one of the few people who knew or liked them here. Glad to see another older person here who knows about them.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            Count me in too.

          • Begin Anew Day

            I loves me some good art whether it is objects, tunes or words arranged in the right order.

          • DerrickWildcat

            I luvs them

  • YoBunnyBunny

    Before they were removed, Mayor Pugh had said she was looking into seeing if Maryland cemeteries where Confederate soldiers are buried would take them; so far, they’re not interested, and would rather not have the things cluttering up their cemeteries and attracting protesters or white nationalist yahoos, no thank you.

    As a lover and frequent visitor of Baltimore’s historic cemeteries, I have this to say:

    AWWWWWW HELLLLLLLLLL NAW!!!!!!!

    Loudon Park has a “Confederate Hill” which is basically a small section of confederates who died in the war (graves stones funded by Sons/Daughters of Conf donations, basically). I don’t object to that, as I say downthread, because even lowly soldiers deserve something to say that they existed. It’s actually rather sad to see how many young men died for a “Lost Cause”.

    But I better not ever see no damn Confederate bullshit statues back there. And I sure as fuck don’t want to worry about running into neo-Nazis when I’m taking a peaceful stroll through the cemetery. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/61b4d0bd3b3f939f7afe51543f00c96bc5012dfbfe5302144b34616c2557b010.jpg

  • anon_the_great

    Like Nazi aircraft, we should gather up all the Confederate monuments reserving notable few, and melt the rest of them down. Make Obamaphones out of em or something.

    • anon_the_great

      Like that insane N.B. Forrest outside Nashville.

    • Begin Anew Day

      That will do for the bronze ones.

      But the stone monuments need a bit more finesse. I suggest placing them in deep holes and then building outhouses over them.

      • cmd resistor

        How about a Stonehenge type structure way out in the wilderness, then cover them up so archeologists can discover them some day and wonder about them.

        • Begin Anew Day

          I really think they will keep better if they are encased in waste products.

    • marxalot

      Have you seen the Soviet monument graveyards? Just row upon ragged row of abandoned Lenins and Stalins, out where no one cares to go look at them.

  • unmasked mumbler

    Melt em down, sell the material and give the money to local social services. It’ll do the most good and drive the nazis crazy(er).

    • Jennifer R

      I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that most of them are so cheaply made that they aren’t worth re smelting.

      • Paperless Tiger

        Bronze is an alloy, so it doesn’t have to be smelted, just melted.

        • Jennifer R

          A lot of these are also only bronze clad.

      • John Robinson

        A few years ago, some of our more enterprising citizens were cutting down lamp posts to sell to the scrap metal dealers. It was a real problem. Nobody ever went for the statues though – I think you may be onto something. They’re probably really crap mixtures that aren’t worth stealing..

        • Jennifer R

          Bronze cladding over something even cheaper. The best way to deal with them is to fill a nalgene bottle up with HCL and splash the base. Come back later and Hydrogen Peroxide it. Hell you can skip step two if you wanna wait longer.

  • bookish
    • jesterpunk

      Fuck you very much NRA.

    • spangled

      at the women’s march the organizers were very clear that you couldn’t bring in any kind of weapon. they even said you couldn’t bring in signs on sticks because they could be used as weapons.

      just another reason why the “both sides do violence” is bullshit. only one side comes decked out with militia tactics/uniforms and fucking assault rifles.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        And also, most protestors on the left–especially of the brown and black variety–are keenly aware that anything they say or do would be grounds for getting shot because the police are always out in full-force riot gear waiting for a soda can to get thrown in the wrong direction. The last thing they would do is show up armed with guns. Hell, people of color get shot even when they aren’t armed!!

        But those yokels in Charlottesville were more than confident that they would have no problems open carrying at their rally.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      Good read — the arms of the dude in the photo are definitely not guns — hence the enhancer gun I suppose :)
      I’ll prolly get flamed for this but I actually like Frum and generally pay attention to his views. He really is too smart to be a conservative, but alas.

  • TJ Barke

    Let’s crush them all under Sherman tanks, to really drive the whole point home.

  • Joe Beese
  • IdRatherBeDancing

    That this is written in some kind antebellum vernacular makes me laugh — “bugger belief” indeed. And Deploragentsia — LOL

    • armed_bears

      And makes my dog, Belief, very nervous.

  • Notreelyhelping

    OT (kinda): Liberals have so terrified rough tough real-man Nazis that they’ve cancelled their good old fashioned book burning: http://www.rawstory.com/2017/08/alt-right-cancels-california-book-burning-of-degenerate-literature-after-organizer-says-he-fears-liberals/

    Instead, they’re settling on having sushi and not paying.

    • TJ Barke

      I’m wondering if these little cucks don’t have the balls to be genocidal monsters…

    • Vicki Lawrence’s Covfefe

      In a similar OT vein, I don’t know if this has been posted already, but:

      Henry_Langston: Too good, Christopher Cantwell, one of the #Charlottesville neo-nazis cries his eyes out at threat of arrest youtube.com/watch?v=lyeTj0…

      • IdRatherBeDancing

        He was all hat on that Vice piece. Lol. Asshole.

    • Joe Beese

      Someone’s going to repossess that borrowed joke.

    • Ms.Moon

      I hope it’s gas station sushi.

  • Joe Beese

    I’m sure they’re honored to receive you, sir.

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/897908198098706433

    • DerrickWildcat

      Time for him to go back to West Virginia.

    • Jeffocaster in the West

      Uh, who gives a fuck you slimy welfare recipient. Usually real people work for living. You are a fuckface. signed America (at least about 60% of us)

      • whitroth

        Fine, asshole. Offer them a job. Right now. If you ain’t got a job for them, then if they’re not working, it’s your fucking fault, shithead.

        • Jeffocaster in the West

          that was pointed at Trump btw…..sarcasm?…..

    • Rick Hill
    • CripesAmighty

      Yeah, like Drunk Cousin Billy who somehow found out about the family picnic…

    • altleftjohn

      There goes the neighborhood. – Tony S.

    • jesterpunk

      Well that just killed property values in Bedminster. No one wants to live near a Nazi.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Maybe Mel Gibson.

        • jesterpunk

          If he moves in too you could buy a house there for a few hundred dollars each.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      “I just landed in Bedminster, New Jersey and boy is my ass fat.”

  • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

    I think that every loser statue should be replaced with a memorial to the enslaved. Real art by black artists. Expressions of rage and sorrow and hope.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      That’s a great idea!

    • NastyBossetti

      I was looking at this twitter thread and replies earlier and saw a lot of great examples of monuments erected in other countries, for inspiration:
      https://twitter.com/samswey/status/881307875351646212

    • chortlingdingo

      Yeah but then (white) people might have to think about how bad slavery was, like, all the time.

      Snark aside, I 1000% agree. That would be amazing.

  • Joe Beese
    • proudgrampa

      Fersure. The time for private angst is over.

    • armed_bears

      No sidelines. You’re on one team or the other.

  • marxalot

    Suggested replacements: Thurgood Marshall. John Waters. Monuments to those who endured and survived slavery. John Brown. Cal Ripken, Jr. A scale model of the Bromo-Seltzer Tower with the rotating bottle on top. Large plaques explaining that white supremacists in the early 20th century erected monuments to treasonous losers in an attempt to cow the large Black population of Maryland.

    • spangled

      hell give me a crab cake or lake trout statue. or a statue of that guy from ace of cakes. anything other than white supremacist statues.

      • proudgrampa

        “Those cakes we like” statue.

    • The Wanderer

      Nat Turner.

    • Me not sure

      Francis Scott Key and his Mexican friend Jose.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        I can see that.

        • Me not sure

          Si!

    • Thiazin Red

      Divine, Henrietta Lacks, Dr. George Gey, Ric Ocasek

    • Jenny

      How about a statue of trump that we can piss on?

  • Ryan Denniston

    “Maybe they could be melted down, mixed
    with the tears of people who say history should never be forgotten but
    also say please stop talking about slavery because it was a long time
    ago, and recast into something nice.”

    How about a Notorious RBG statue?

    • therblig

      even life size, that still leaves a shit load of bronze to unload.

      • Pisto75666

        Anybody have a tub they need bronzed?

  • Ryan Denniston

    “Oops, that last one is from earlier this summer, about how New Orleans really has fucked-up priorities for removing Confederate memorials before all crime was ended.”

    Didn’t NO go through a wave of flooding that overwhelmed their city pump system earlier this summer?

  • As someone who works in an institution dedicated to preserving historical objects (a research library), I think the “daughters of the confederacy” (SERIOUSLY???) should be happy that the mayor got the statues out of there BEFORE they were wrecked by angry mobs. She genuinely is preserving them. Not that they deserve to be. What a bunch of dumbasses. Get lives.

    • whitroth

      Perhaps the “Daughters of the Confederacy” should be treated the way slave women were.

      Rhiannon Giddens has a new album. On it is a song, “At The Request of the Buyer”, which she got from the pages of a pre-Civil War Southern paper, where there was an ad for a slave woman, and, “at the request of the buyer”, they could have her 9 mo old infant, also… but if they didn’t want it, they didn’t have to take it….

  • MynameisBlarney

    10K reward for the names of the nazi punks.

    https://www.democraticunderground.com/10029472959

    • therblig

      if the master race is anything like what we’ve seen so far, once they get Borden, he’ll sing like a sobbing canary to avoid jail time.

      • whitroth

        *snicker* “Master” race…. sleazy, un-get-layable losers…..

        • The Wanderer

          They couldn’t get laid in a whorehouse, in my opinion.

          • Jonny On Maui

            With a fist full of fifties…

    • Fritz1964

      If these guys think they’re representatives of the “master race,” let me out! I can be a very dedicated race-traitor!

  • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution
    • YoBunnyBunny

      “Culturally, Americans are a curious lot,” said Andrew Darcy Morthington, an United Kingdom-based commentator who once embarked on a two-year mission trip to teach rural American children and therefore qualifies as an expert on U.S. affairs.

      I love this.

    • gallbladder

      Many years ago I read a similar article which suggested that if US elections of the calibre and quality we’ve seen as of late were held in any other developing country, they’d be festooned with UN observers.

    • NastyBossetti

      Martin Rhodes, a shopkeeper in London. “I can’t believe a once-great empire would threaten everything it has built over generations just because a group of people give in to racism and xenoph…” Rhodes’s voice trailed off as he stared wistfully at a silent Big Ben.

      So good.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I read it this morning and I really wish that things would be reported that way. It’s one of the reasons I pay for the Guardian, for a non-American-Centric POV. It’s still the US version, but it’s something

    • hudson srinivasan

      poignant.but this is not restricted to the US or even the western world. if you believed what was written about the west in non-western world, you would have the same skewed view of the western world, as you would have of the non-western world based on western press.

      a whole lot of humanity is lost in translation & editorial choices of stories to tell about the other.

  • rosenbomb

    It’s probably been said, but a statue of Freddie Gray would be a satisfying slap in the face to the Nazi punks.

    Gray’s loved ones deserve a whole lot more than a statue, however.

    • armed_bears

      Like it.

  • Joe Beese

    You know. Those undocumented immigrants who commit fewer crimes than the rest of us.

    Attorney General Jeff Sessions on Wednesday targeted Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel during a larger speech in Miami-Dade about so-called “sanctuary cities,” accusing him of neglecting murder rates associated with undocumented immigrants and putting federal funds at risk.

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/08/16/jeff-sessions-sanctuary-cities-chicago-rahm-emanuel-241711

    • The Wanderer

      Secessia had better watch himself. Emmanuel will stab him in the neck with a pencil.

      • Marceline

        That image put a smile on my face.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      And who do all the work Americans don’t want to do, for pennies, and pay a billion dollars in taxes every year.

  • SisterArtemis

    “deploragentsia”
    *smile*

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      I know, that was BRILLIANT

  • Joe Beese
    • I wonder if he could get any on his show who would really say how completely repugnant the president is. And their party.

    • Wild Cat

      Lotta open homophobia from those nazis. Smith has to take that seriously. Don’t know how he can work with those freaks.

      • whitroth

        One wonders just how repressed they are…. There was one asshole, last year, that someone had a *wonderful* comment – that the guy was so far in the closet that he had gay sex in Narnia.

    • jesterpunk

      https://media.giphy.com/media/fx4msdUIB5mHm/giphy.gif

      Wake me up when the actually do something about Trump.

    • bupkus231

      He probably didn’t have any easy time finding any to slam Rump on TV, either.

      Today’s GOP – fear-ridden scumbags cowering in fear from the monster they created.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      How about to denounce him? Prolly none will do that either.

  • Wild Cat

    Typical Baltimore,
    Moving things at night.
    Years ago it was Irsay’s Colts,
    Now it’s stiffs—cold, racist, and white.

    • whitroth

      What, was taking Da Bums from Brooklyn, in broad daylight, better?

  • Jenny
    • therblig

      my 2 whovians here loved it.

    • Canned Covfefe

      Love this!

  • DemsArePerverted

    I can’t take any criticism from the Democrat Party seriously as long as they think a man should be celebrated for ejaculating inside another man’s slimy poopchute.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef
      • Fritz1964

        That’s what this “guy” does with the other hand while typing.

        • The Wanderer

          Which does explain the gap between postings. Takes time to either clean or replace a keyboard.

          • Pisto75666

            If you were his hand, would YOU wanna touch that?

          • The Wanderer

            Hmm. (Jar Jar voice) You-sa gotta a point.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Turgid’s back!

    • bbayliss

      Because slimey poopchute is your mother’s maiden name?

    • TJ Barke

      That’s okay, we don’t really care about your opinion, TLM.

    • The Wanderer

      Turgid Love Muscle, you old sausage grappler, you! How’s your wife and my kids?

      • gallbladder

        ZING!

        • The Wanderer

          (grins)

    • gallbladder

      Seems you have inside knowledge of such things.

    • jaspersdad

      You’re a fucking Nazi loser. No one cares what you think.

      • DemsArePerverted

        And you’re a racist communist.

        • Jonny On Maui

          Oh come on TLM! You can get banhammered faster than that!

        • The Wanderer

          (laughs heartily) TLM, you are a perfect breath of fresh, albeit santorum-smelling, air.

          • clubseal

            I feel as though it would be difficult to be both racist and communist, at least if you are committed to either.

          • The Wanderer

            It is possible, yes. There were racists in Russia during the Soviet Era.

          • JMP

            The Soviets were very anti-Semitic and persecuted the Jews pretty horribly, just not as bad as the Nazis (though that’s a very low bar), which is ironic considered how a lot of Nazi propaganda was based on equating Judaism with communism; much as a lot of modern right-wing racist equate Islam with terrorism.

          • clubseal

            I guess my point is “If you’re racist while doing your communism, you’re doing it wrong.”

          • The Wanderer

            Well, yes.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            That ain’t air.

        • jaspersdad
    • Rasilom

      Hey!! Its TLM come back to share more of his gay porn!! I’ll grab the beer you get the popcorn!

    • Jonny On Maui

      Hey TLM! Still slinging the slop I see…

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      He’s BAAAAAAAAACK!

    • jesterpunk

      Wait Dems are perverted but you are the one who thinks about buttsex more then anyone else. Is that more of that conservative projection?

    • Fritz1964

      Good. Because you’re gonna get a poopschute-full. See below.

    • Red Bird

      That certainly explains why Peter Thiel votes Republican.

    • spangled
    • Beanz&Berryz

      So you love buttsecks, traitors, and Nazis. A true American Patriot. And a proud Christianist too, I bet.

    • MynameisBlarney

      TLM! You’re back!

      • The Wanderer

        No, that’s his front!

        • Jonny On Maui

          He just wants it in the back…

          • Shanzgood

            Dammit, beat me to it!

          • Jonny On Maui

            A tie’s a tie…

          • The Wanderer

            Of course! But keep his front oriented toward you – what might vent from his rear end? Who knows?

        • Shanzgood

          But he prefers to present his back side.

    • Shanzgood

      Go on…tell us in graphic detail what happens before that.

    • whitroth

      You do-do have problems. Pretty much, the Dems, along with us on the actual left, are saying what the *FUCK* business is it of yours to want to look into someone’s bedroom?

      Btw, one of the people who broke the Nazi codes during WW II, the famous Alan Turing, was persecuted after the war, and driven to suicide, because of his sexual preferences, never mind the heroic work he did to help defeat the Nazis. And a lot of the creation of the Net partly stems from him.

      So if it bothers you, please log off the ‘Net, turn off your computer, and don’t get back on.

      • DemsArePerverted

        Turing was a pervert. Those who desire to peg another dude in the ass should stay celibate.

        • Shanzgood

          What about women who do it?

        • The Wanderer

          A pervert? Possibly? Far more intelligent than you?
          Definitely.

        • Jonny On Maui

          Pot, kettle, black…

        • therblig

          well, at least you’ll never reproduce.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Sadly that isn’t so. He’ll reproduce by binary fission, like most bacteria..

          • The Wanderer

            Yeasts.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Turing devised the Turing Test.

          You would never pass.
          The only thing you can pass is gas.

          • IdRatherBeDancing

            out of slimy poopchute

          • The Wanderer

            That makes a rather moist blattering noise.

        • whitroth

          So, is that why you stay celibate?

      • Shanzgood

        Can I make a correction here? It’s a sexual *orientation* not a preference.

        • whitroth

          I sit and tupe corrected. Thanks. I knew what I meant, but was so pissed at the moment that I couldn’t think straight.

          • Shanzgood

            No worries. I have some, um, involvement in the LGBT+ community so I try to help.

      • clubseal

        You’re talking to one TurgidLoveMuscle, who isn’t exactly much of a sparring partner in a battle of wits. Or whits.

        • The Wanderer

          TLM is an example of the kind of troll we like. He’s rather fun to bat around, like a nice squeaky mouse or novelty dildo on feet.

          • clubseal

            Is he the one who coined “Brazilian fart porn”? Because that’s reason enough to keep somebody around for an occasional trolling.

          • The Wanderer

            I think he may have. Brazilian fart porn is something I could get behind.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Brazilian fart porn was invented to prevent viewers from using the fast-forward function on their video players.

            I read that on the innertubes.

          • The Wanderer

            Hmm!

          • IdRatherBeDancing

            TLM’s fascination with butt sechs is somewhat titilating to me.

          • bbayliss

            It always gives me a funny feeling in my slimey poopchute.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Butt he is such an ass about it.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            I feel like I’m beating around Mr. Hanky’s dull brother-in-stool.

          • The Wanderer

            You are. Fudgebats sometimes require careful handling.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Well shit. I suppose my heavy duty angle grinder needs to be put away, then.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          TLM never fails to bring a limp dick (actual) to a gun fight (rhetorical).

    • MynameisBlarney
      • The Wanderer

        Gotta be jelly cuz jam don’t shake like that.

      • H0mer0

        Is that Flanders’ shapely a$s? And why would Homer be tormented by that vision?

    • therblig

      you seem well versed in this subject.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      Try it you might like it — there’s a G-spot in there, hon.

      • The Wanderer

        He’s obviously been doing it wrong all these years.

        • IdRatherBeDancing

          That’s a given.

          • The Wanderer

            TLM? Basic rule – if it hurts, you’ve done it wrong.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            I’m sure the loon finds thinking quite painful, then.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Maybe it thinks that the G-spot is somewhere inside it’s computer’s keyboard.

          • The Wanderer

            Or he’s discovered the delights of teledildonics.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Would it that it would be so. Such things can be hacked.

            With hilarious results indeed.

    • MynameisBlarney

      What when a transsexual woman does that.
      That’s acceptable, right?

    • JMP

      What kind of major psychological malfunction does it take for someone to obsessively keep creating new sockpuppets to break into a place where he keeps getting kicked out and told never to return where everybody hates him? I mean on top of the part where they’re clearly a self-loathing homophobic closeted gay man.

      • Jonny On Maui

        I believe we’re the only people who converse with him…

        • The Wanderer

          What a sad and lonely life he must lead, then.

          • Jonny On Maui

            At least when he cums here it’s quality abuse.

          • The Wanderer

            Indeed!

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        This idiot is obviously several service packs short of fully updated.

    • MynameisBlarney

      You just love them cream-pies, don’tcha?

      • The Wanderer

        Just the rich, earthy taste of santorum.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I can’t take anybody seriously when they are so preoccupied and fascinated about what other people do with their poopchutes.

      Have you tried stamp collecting?

      • clubseal

        Except for proctologists, of course. Their fascination is warranted, and helpful.

        • The Wanderer

          And they’re never without an instrument!

          • IdRatherBeDancing

            which never goes limp

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            But often cold,
            I have been told,
            as now I relate,
            if not being too bold.

          • IdRatherBeDancing

            ah tomato, tomahto — picky bitch :)

        • bbayliss

          Although still difficult to explain.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          If I needed to see a proctologist, and they where obviously fascinated with my butthole in a perverted manner as demonstrated by this loon, that proctologist would be very suddenly introduced to a hole [sic] new world of {{{redacted per non-commenting rules}}}. Something, something, shock and awe, something.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Yawn, no new material yet? You need to expand your spank bank to come up with some new material. Sad, 2/10 and that’s being generous

      • The Wanderer

        There might be Nazi skinhead fisting porn out there. Rule 34, you know.
        Hmm. (jots a note for later)

        • Major_Major_Major

          I’d be glad to pull some links for him, but work tends to not likey the pr0ning.

          • The Wanderer

            Ditto here as well.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        1/10. Would not taunt a second time.

    • SisterArtemis

      Don’t feed the troll, fellow wonkers. Just keeps him engaged.

      • The Wanderer

        Aw, c’mon, it’s Turgid Love Muscle! Don’t let the cheesy fake mustache, beret and neckbeard fool you.

        • IdRatherBeDancing

          I was thinking more gimp suit.

          • The Wanderer

            LOL
            No sexy ewe costume from Beep Beep I’m a Sheep?

          • IdRatherBeDancing

            now I’m gonna have to consult the Google — that can be a scary proposition when conversing with fellow Wonkers

          • The Wanderer

            No sweat, here ya go. Careful, though – it can be a bit earwormy:

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_j5HPVAK3ZE

          • IdRatherBeDancing

            I seriously doubt he is as much of a power bottom (with a nice ass) as portrayed in that vid. But it is a learned skill — so there is hope.

          • The Wanderer

            True.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          I don’t think that’s a beret.

          • The Wanderer

            Toupee? Lloyd Bridges-esque hair helmet?

        • SisterArtemis

          I knew it was him from the first post. Still…

      • amrak63

        Okay, I blocked him.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Which only works on that one sock, apparently. You will see the next sock. Guaranteed.

          • IdRatherBeDancing

            Let’s guess the new moniker. I’ll go first: “GapingHoleCurious”

          • The Wanderer

            ButtSecksBadOkay

          • amrak63

            “Hello I Suck (Or At Least I Would Like To Try It)”

    • Canned Covfefe

      Um… Ok, sure.

    • amrak63

      Oh dear, the alt-right goofbuckets seem to be showing up.

      Where’s the roach spray?

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WLVvugmEe6U

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Well, bless your turgid little sphincter.

      • The Wanderer

        I’m writing that one down.

    • Major_Major_Major

      I can’t begin to imagine why you are incel.

    • therblig

      celebrate? is there a statue?

      • The Wanderer

        After they finish recasting the former rebel statues into Trump getting it up the ass by Malcolm X.

    • Canned Covfefe

      DAP– help me understand why this is so important to you and others. I’m not snarking, I really just don’t get it. I get that it might seem gross to you but why does it matter to you. We don’t need to get into the bathroom thing or anything else like that. This is where it begins.

    • Alternative Dog

      “a man should be celebrated”

      Citation needed.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        “A man should be celebrated”

        As a man, I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt that I should not be celebrated.

        All the time. I need a rest occasionally.

        • The Wanderer

          (offers a gin and tonic with lime) Refresh yourself.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Donkey Shoes!

          • Canned Covfefe

            Need more limes? Hard to believe that it’s possible but I have a real lot of extras. Too many of them too. Which is saying a lot.

      • phoenix00

        “a man should be celeryated”

        FTFY

    • bbayliss

      Considering the fact that your guy proudly shat the bed yesterday in front of god and the whole fucking world, I think your concern is misplaced.

      • The Wanderer

        Well said! ‘Twas the Shart Heard ‘Round the World.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Shat the bed. Pissed on the bed. Shat some more on the bed. Then jumped up and down on it. Then rolled around on it. Then went away and came back with a golf cart and spun donuts on the shat bed.

        And then gets butthurt when people criticize him about his behavour.

    • Serai 1

      Hey, TLM! Any new gay magazines you been jerking off to lately?

  • Fritz1964

    Thank you, Balto, for your strength and commitment to doing the right thing. The Neo-Ns from the northern counties can suck it.

  • JD Mulvey
    • Wild Cat
      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        Or Poe

        • therblig

          We visited Baltimore once with lots of money, and ended up in the Poe House.

          (rimshot)

          • The Wanderer

            ISWYDT

          • Canned Covfefe

            Nicely played.

        • M.E. Lawrence

          A city that produced both Edgar Allan Poe and Frank Vincent Zappa is a special, special place.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      John Waters too — who made Divine a household name!

    • Serai 1

      It should be designed off that picture, too. She’d love it.

      • JD Mulvey

        Open carry!

  • MynameisBlarney
  • gene108

    Yeah, I don’t think white people have much of an excuse for being as fucked up as they are.

    They’ve had 44 of the last 45 Presidents, a bunch of movie stars, athletes, CEO’s, etc. to look-up to and yet somehow white people still crime, don’t get the bestest educations, and so forth.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Only the loser failure white people, though.

    • georgiaburning

      17th/18th century North America was where British transported religious dissidents , convicts, bastard sons of nobles and political undesirables. That’s a lot of bad hombres

      • amrak63

        Yeah, the British Crown started using Australia as a dumping ground because our Revolution succeeded (Thanks, France!), so the British Crown needed another place to dump people who were undesirable, or merely surplus.

    • therblig

      OH YEAH? Well, uh, we, uh, well, some of us, get really sunburned. And I didn’t have a girlfriend for the prom.

    • Bebecca

      Paraphrasing one of my favorite Chris Rock jokes-but black people get to use the N-Word. Unfair.

  • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution
    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Jesus save us from your followers.

    • The Wanderer

      Well, the Beast Foretold in the Apocalypse needs False Prophets around him.

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        Well put.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Also, a money launderer, so False Profits, also too.

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          You’re on fire today

      • Canned Covfefe

        To think I was almost willing to believe in the Antichrist when GW was prez. What a silly rabbit.

        • Back then, people had forgotten what real fascism was, so they called Bush/Cheney bluster neo-conservatism “fascism”

          • John Robinson

            The Cheney version was fascism Lite. It was a necessary step on the road that leads to the camps, to get people adjusted to the process.

    • therblig

      evangelicals don’t have to share profits with stockholders. they get to keep 100% of that sweet, sweet grift.

      • Blackest Noobs

        and tax free too

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Same people in the old days that argued slavery was God’s will.

      • Blackest Noobs

        kinda keeping on topic…mr. christian general Robert E. Lee said slavery was good for the black folks and it would be divine intervention to free them…so yeah…fuck those guys.

      • bbayliss

        When your most holy text can be used as an argument both for and against human slavery it’s time to question your religion

      • M.E. Lawrence

        “Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to
        the good and gentle but also to the cruel.” (1 Peter 2:18)

        • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

          GROSS.

        • efoveks

          Peter screwed the pooch on that one.

          • amrak63

            Yeah, he blew that call.

            Of course, in the early days of the faith, the faithful believed that Jesus would return soon–as mortals understand “soon”–so He would deal with any slaveowners who abused their slaves.

          • Keith Taylor

            Also, and just in passing, BOTH Epistles General of Peter are almost sure to be what we politely call “pseudoepigraphical”, a big hundred-dollar word for “the writer just pretended to be someone famous and used his name so that his tract wouldn’t get overlooked and used for toilet paper.” Whoever wrote them, it wasn’t Peter, who being a big brawling galoot of a fisherman was very unlikely to have had such a suave command of written Greek. Besides, 2 Peter has a passage (2 Peter 3) in which the author rebukes any skeptics who may start saying, “Hey, Our Lord promised he was going to return before the people living at the time of his trial had all died, and time’s running out, boss, so where is he?” The author’s answer is that God is gracious, and doesn’t want anybody to be damned but all to come to repentance, so he’s extended the time. I don’t know how that strikes other people, but I consider that for lame, weak evasion, it ranks with “The dog ate my homework.”
            And the defence of slavery is lame too. But the Roman Empire was built on slavery, and the early Christians were trying to win converts in the pagan Roman world, besides avoiding crucifixion or a trip to the arena to meet lions, so … politics … God says slavery is okay and slaves should be obedient even if their masters are cruel arrogant sods.

      • phoenix00

        Some are arguing for slavery /now/. Plus “reasons” to defund PP, etc etc.

    • Ms.Moon

      Evangelicals piss me off something fierce. I am trying to be a good Christian, I go to church, I give to charity and I generally try to be a good person and do my walk on my way to sainthood (it’s not easy at all). Evangelicals do not deserve to be called Christians no more than ISIL members who say they are followers of Islam. They can take their so called religion and go on their way because they do not follow the way of actual Christians, I know atheists who are far better people than evangelicals, the church of Satan are better people even than these hypocrites.

    • SeeTrain65

      Don’t know who said it, but I heard someone say something to the effect of “It’s strange to see that morality is better judged these days by the power of profit than the power of prophet.”

  • arensb

    Sure, Marshall has a couple other statues in Baltimore already

    Plus an airport that, for my money, is nicer than the one named after Eisenhower’s Secretary of State. But that’s me. Oh, and his name anagrams to “Aloha, Mrs. Gold Hurt”, which has to count for something.
    And while you’re in town, the University of Maryland has an amazing statue of Frederick Douglass that’s being recognized more and more.

  • SnarkON

    The statues keep the crime down!

  • Tovarish Z

    How about recasting them as statues of African-American Union soldiers and putting them right back on the same bases?

    • SDGeoff3

      Genius!

    • amrak63
      • Just had to interrupt for a bit to say that this pic cracks me up. It looks like that poor horse (well part of him anyway) is getting ready to be delivered in some movie producers bed)

        • Pat_Pending

          Nah, he’s just scratching his face. Horses be itchy critters.

    • phoenix00
  • CATMAN

    It says on the base of the statue that “they waged war like gentlemen” so I guess that Southern gentlemen were OK with starving Union POWs to death and summarily executing black POWs For proof of their “gentlemanly” ways, just check out Andersonville

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andersonville_National_Historic_Site

    • AllieQuinn

      Ah, I should have scrolled down before posting above. Yes, I read about that years ago and there was that one photo of the prisoner sitting on the stool that has haunted me ever since.

  • Kooolest G

    I say if any place wants to keep their statues of traitors we should just make a statue of this guy to put next to it and the plaque should read “the legacy lives on” https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2fd169f6c9cbf6afa708ca011603cdc37d7b5472a4de07eefa53b4167442aba4.jpg
    in case you didn’t recognize this true american hero, it’s Timothy McVeigh

  • BreakingDeadMen

    While this was the right thing to do, part of me would love to have seen Spencer and his yellow snowflake avalanche try and pull their shit in Baltimore.

    • AllieQuinn

      Much as I’d love to see him get his ass handed to him, it would probably be happening directly outside of my office, so…

  • discusfish7

    They should make artificial reefs from all these statues, but first, make sure to break them into smaller, but still recognizable, pieces. That way they will still be signifying something even though they are “sleeping with the fishes” where they belong. The reef life will benefit and so will modern America.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I say it again, why do we even NEED statues of dead rich white men on dead horses who led armies that killed tens of thousands of people, no matter WHAT cause they did it in? How about a statue of my grandmother, who had 14 children in 20 years and raised them on a coal miner’s salary, and then died of uterine cancer at age 50? Or better yet, a statue of her daughter who overcame HUGE obstacles to win a scholarship to nursing school, and then joined the Army Nursing Corps in WWII and almost died in a front-line hospital? How about a statue of my great great-grandmother, who raised 5 children under 10 by herself on a little dirt farm while her husband was off fighting in the Union army for 4 years? They can take all the statues of dead generals and melt them down, for all I care, and I would donate money to have it done.

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i was kinda thinking this same thing, specifically why we even need them.

      But building monuments is a thing we mostly hairless apes do.

      With the right people, they can remind us of noble causes and sacrifice…i’m specifically thinking of the one of MLK and the Vietnam Wall.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I understand about the noble causes and such. . .but it seems to me that only the people who already understand noble causes and sacrifice actually think of noble causes and sacrifice when they look at such monuments. The other people don’t feel it, otherwise you wouldn’t have assholes carving their initials into Stonehenge (which is why they roped it off), so as propaganda tools, they don’t work. I got to visit Stonehenge once before they did that, and I was shocked at seeing people writing their names on it with ballpoint pens. No wonder they roped it off, best idea they ever had. They ruined it for the rest of us, though, because it was awesome to be able to walk inside it. What was done to the Parthenon was even worse.

        The Viet Nam Wall is a special case. I have seen people weeping there, it has some kind of healing magic.

        I remember touring Gettysburg when I was 7. It was the most boring place you could take a 7-year-old girl to see. At age 7 you are too young to understand what you are seeing, and it left no lasting impression on me, it was just a lot of landscape with canons and statues here and there. The statues were all of generals and majors and captains, there was nothing there of the 50,000 casualties. Perhaps they need a Gettysburg Wall.

        • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

          fair enough and correct of course.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Jeeze, while writing the above I was remembering going to the Parthenon when I was 12. That was 49 years ago, and the memory is as vivid as the day I went there. Talk about the majesty of monuments. . .I pissed off the whole tour bus because I was 15 minutes late rejoining them, as I couldn’t bear to leave. I was the last person to leave the hill. . .for 5 minutes I was the only person on the Acropolis, just me and the Parthenon, and then the clouds parted and the sun shone down on it in a huge beam of light like it happens in a movie, and I stopped breathing. I took a picture. Lost the picture in Hurricane Katrina. Shit. But my point is, we are both right.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            awesome memory!
            I can’t say I’ve been anywhere so impressive. (the alamo is surprisingly small and dingy).

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Yes, it is. The first thing I thought when I went there (I was 7) was that it didn’t look like the kind of place worth dying for. They should have all said to each other “Let’s blow this popsicle stand and go to the Parthenon!”

        • TundraGrifter

          I was an 8 or 9 year-old boy touring Civil War battlefields (including Fort Sumter) and I thought it was pretty cool. We visited Gettysburg a number of years ago and the history just seeps into your bones.

          It’s a shame there wasn’t anybody who could tell you the story in a manner you would have found interesting.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Perhaps, being a boy, it had some kind of meaning for you that escaped me, being a girl who was totally uninterested in war and soldiers and guns and such. I loved history, but history to me was individuals, men and women and children who lived lives before me that were different and yet the same, not kings and generals. The ordinary soldier was not there on that battlefield when I was 7. They had photos inside the interpretive center of dead soldiers, but outside all they had was statues of important men in uniforms on horses carrying swords, they meant nothing to me. But I’m glad you got something out of it, that’s what they hope will happen. I have not revisited it since I was 7, perhaps I should go back. I suspect the interpretive center is much better now – in 1964 it wasn’t much, just a wax museum and a very boring slide show with bad audio.

          • TundraGrifter

            It’s almost impossible to visit Gettysburg today and not get caught up in the history. I fully understand the appeal to a young boy could be quite different. We dressed up as soldiers, had all the toy guns, etc.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I dressed up as queens and ballerinas and gypsies, never soldiers. I vaguely remember that my brother, who was 14, enjoyed our visit there.

          • TundraGrifter

            Sounds like you were channeling your inner Cher. A normal, healthy girl!

        • mardam422

          I toured Gettysburg for the first time ten years ago. Myself. I spent the entire day walking/driving in utter silence…awestruck, moved by the sacrifice, bravery and selflessness of the men who fought and died there, whether for a good cause or not. Been back several times, as well as to Antietam, Balls Bluff, and Monocacy in MD and most of the CW battlefields of VA. All the same way. Alone. Walking, thinking, and marveling at the history that was made by men not all that different from myself.

          There are ways to honor these men and what they did. And places for these statues and monuments. Just not where they are now, with the intent not on REAL history, but on intimidation.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I understand what you’re saying and I can see that such places can have great meaning to many people. They just don’t have the same meaning to me. The whole idea of thousands of men whacking and shooting and killing each other on a field to prove who is right and who is wrong strikes me as foolish and inefficient. I accept that there were times in the past when it had to be done because leaders were competitive or greedy or would not listen to reason, and tribal thinking took over, but there has to be a better way to resolve disagreements. Of course, wars usually aren’t about right and wrong, they are usually about power and money, and the Civil War, in political terms, was no different. That doesn’t mean the individual soldiers were not fighting for what they believed in or their sacrifices were meaningless, but it is still an inefficient way to resolve a dispute.

            Do you remember the song “Simple Song of Freedom” that Bobby Darin wrote in the 60’s? One stanza includes these lines, which always struck me as a good idea:

            “Now no doubt some folks enjoy doin’ battle
            Like presidents and ministers and kings
            But let us build them shelves where they can fight among themselves
            And leave the people be who like to sing.”

            Intimidation is exactly why the statues were erected in the first place. This is a good article with historical background on that subject, worth reading:
            http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2017/08/16/regime-change-in-charlottesville-215500

          • mardam422

            The sense of history is thick in those places. We can look back easily and say war is bad. Armchair quarterbacking is my specialty, too. Washing your hands of the whole messy business is easy, and maybe even satisfying to some extent, but “those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it”. If not for the bravery and commitment and sacrifice of hundreds of thousands of men and women, there, on those fields, the world would be a very different place. If you can’t appreciate that I can’t help you.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I do appreciate it. Both my parents fought in WWII, and they fought for good reasons. But the whole thing could have been avoided if diplomats and statesmen and businessmen and citizens had stood against it before the war began. It didn’t have to happen, and that is disturbing to me. We are in a not dissimilar situation today, and war is not inevitable, but some people seem to want it. That is also disturbing to me. One thing I got from my visit to Gettysburg is that war is something people should do everything possible to avoid.

            I know it’s a bit superficial to talk about Star Trek, but my favorite episode of TOS is “A Taste of Armageddon” in which Captain Kirk says “”Death, destruction, disease, horror. That’s what war is all about, Anan. That’s what makes it a thing to be avoided.”

  • Well, surely Baltimore should have a statue of Divine.

    • Serai 1

      I agree that Baltimore should have a statue of Divine – but don’t call me Shirley.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    ““I want to know where they went,” she said. “What’s going to happen to them?”

    Take a picture of them – frame the picture and hang it up at city hall or any museum about the history of baltimore with a BIG inscription that says: “Baltimore once venerated men who betrayed their country in defense of the evil practice of slavery. NEVER AGAIN.”

    Then melt the fuckers down.

    Also too, as for the dumb twitterers – between violence in baltimore and removing confederate statutes in baltimore, only the latter could be voted on and achieved in one night.

  • armed_bears

    I am imagining Evita: Don’t cry for deploragentsia.

    Dok is bringing the heat today, and generated a rise out of TLM.

  • phoenix00

    FRANK ZAP-PA’S HEAD!
    FRANK ZAP-PA’S HEAD!
    FRANK ZAP-PA’S HEAD!
    FRANK ZAP-PA’S HEAD!

  • TundraGrifter

    “…they ‘waged war like gentlemen…’”

    I don’t think “gentlemen” shot and bayonet POW’s.

    • AllieQuinn

      Nor do they have places like the POW prison at Camp Sumter, GA. There are photos. They’re appalling.

      • TundraGrifter

        Robert E. Lee and the Confederate government didn’t want to exchange Black Union POW’s. Abraham Lincoln and the Federal government insisted on it.

        Additionally, the North knew that if it exchanged prisoners many of them would return to the battlefield, despite promises to the contrary. The Union let its own soldiers suffer.

        The Confederates couldn’t adequately feed and supply its own army. It had no business keeping POW’s it couldn’t properly care for. It is important to keep in mind that Union POW camps were hellholes as well. Sanitation in any military establishment was crude at best and disease common. Gen. Grant knew over the long run it was more dangerous to stay in camp than it was to fight a battle.

        • AllieQuinn

          Indeed. On the whole, I think the people who think the Civil War was gentlemanly have seen too many movies.

  • Old Man Yells at Cloud

    “I want to know where they went,” she said. “What’s going to happen to them?”
    Its called a smelter, lady. The site I checked quoted bronze for recycling at $1.64/lb. The city could probably cover the salary of an additional teacher with that kind of scratch.

  • she persisted

    I’m curious. Have any of the Nazi/KKK/White Supremacist filth threatened to “rally” in Baltimore? I’ve heard nary a peep from them on that front. Hmm, I wonder why that is?

  • bluicebank

    Stealing from my FB post:

    I see a compromise for the scattered state/cities that disallow Confederate statues from being removed.

    Just change the plaque. The racists get to keep their statues, and we read:

    • Lump BeefBroth. Only survivor of the Donner Party. He never went hungry.

    • Cisco Kid. Was a good friend of mine, and no one else.

    • Mr. Natural. Invented oversized boots and kept on trucking unto his last breath.

    • Johnny Ringo. He was no dandy. Killed by Val Kilmer.

    • Lord Cardigan. Ordered the Charge of the Light Brigade. Nary a
    scratch on his sweater. Refused to defend the honor of his wife. Also
    sat out the Civil War. Choked to death on his cardigan after being
    chased by a chupacabra.

    • Rhett Butler. Never gave a damn, and neither do we.

  • Mother

    The Democratic Party will forever be associated with the KKK and that offends me and millions of non racist Americans and they must be removed from Government now!

    • bbayliss

      Nice try sparky:
      “You start out in 1954 by saying, “N*gger, n*gger, n*gger.” By 1968 you can’t say “n*gger”—that hurts you, backfires. So you say stuff like, uh, forced busing, states’ rights, and all that stuff…”
      Lee Atwater on the Southern Strategy…
      You know, when all those racist democrats became republicans.

      • Mother

        The Democratic Party name is racist and that offends Americans. They must go!

        • They did. They went and became Republicans.

        • Moar Wordz

          Why don’t you go to a
          ” Daughters of the Confederacy ” event , drown your sorrows on some greasy pigs-n-blankets served on a doily, and wash it all down w/ some foul $ 7.99 over – oaked chardonnay and leave the good people of Wonkette alone ?!

        • bbayliss

          I’m an American.
          What offends me is bumper sticker stupidity.
          Ignorance.
          and you
          bye.

        • Andrea Jacobsen

          Since when is the word “democratic” racist? Did I miss a memo?

          • Mother

            No! You missed history class.

    • thixotropic jerk

      The Democratic Party I, Miserable Mother Fuckhead will forever be associated with the KKK and if that offends me you and millions of non racist Americans and they I must be removed from here by the Government now!

      FIFY Troll Babby MoFo

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Hey! Let’s build a special place where we can put all the statues. Let’s make it a prison! We can put each statue in its own little cell with a plaque outside detailing that statue/person’s crimes against the United States. We’ll call it…THE TREASON MEMORIAL! It would be great. An entire museum dedicated to explaining exactly why the Confederacy was a criminal enterprise and not to be admired, but despised.

    • dshwa

      I repeat from yesterday:

      I would be happy if every state moved theirs to a museum called “The Hall of Statues of Traitors Erected to Proclaim to African Americans that the Majority of White Citizens at the Time Would Never Consider Them Equals.

      Sure, it’s a bit long, but it’s historically accurate. And that’s what the statues defenders claim to want to preserve, those statue’s history.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        I would go to that museum. And the acronym, THOSOTETPTAATTMOWCATTWNCTE, has the word “CAT” in it so others would probably go too.

        • mardam422

          It also has “MOW” in it. Thanks for reminding me I have to cut the lawn this weekend. Jagoff.

        • dshwa

          The acronym doesn’t roll off the tongue does it?

  • About the concern about “crime”: You know it’s kinda nice that in the Trumpian age of blunt vulgarity, that not all the dog-whistles were thrown out (because there’s some blatant wink-wink-nudge-nudge connotations in those Twitter responses.)

  • Joe Monte

    They should take all of the Stonewall monuments and send them to all of the gay bars called “The Stonewall”. I know of at least two.

    • mardam422

      Why have I never seen you there?

      • Joe Monte

        I was at the Stonewall in Allentown. They had Gay Bingo. It was a riot.

  • dshwa

    If the deplorables didn’t have logic fallacies they wouldn’t have any logic at all.

  • Pat_Pending

    Maybe a statue of John Waters and one of Divine…

  • Bitter Scribe

    They “waged war like gentlemen,” except when they were facing black troops. Then it was time to slaughter prisoners and the wounded.

  • Deborah Ujevich

    Frank is MY PERSONAL JESUS, and everybody everywhere needs to run to YouTube and listen to Trouble Every Day, the song he wrote like 50 years ago about what’s happening right now.

  • Wes

    I think they should be preserved somewhere with proper historical context attached to them. It represents terrible parts of our past that we should never forget.

  • Michael Loraine

    They have a bust of Frank Zappa?! I may have to make a pilgrimage.

  • ImGoingBacon

    in reference to the Barksdale crew, and The Wire: remold it as Omar Little or GTFO.

  • Molon Labe

    “..old crappy couch with the Barksdale crew sitting on it..” You might want to reconsider that one…. Fictional drug dealing gangsters might not be the best suggestion. I suppose the one positive in there is that they are black. That however makes it a real-life negative stereotype that you are celebrating in jest. Congratulations, your grandchildren will be tearing down your racially insensitive hypothetical statues.

    • thixotropic jerk

      Concern Troll Moldy Bleat sex whut? Congratulations, your fantastic leaps in irrationality tear down your own pointless shitty “arguments.” Back to FartBart with you Wannabee Warrior

      • Molon Labe

        I must be a “troll” if you don’t agree with me. Maybe you can explain my “leaps of irrationality” or maybe not? In the end, there are those who want to improve black society and those who celebrate a destructive culture.

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