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Not a Nazi, shut up, don’t say that.

After Donald Trump appeared in the tacky-ass gold-plated lobby of Trump Tower to make his definitive statement on Charlottesville, which was that at least the Nazis, some of whom were just lovely people, had a permit to protest, we wondered which Fox News douche-chunk would win the white supremacist crown in his defense of Trump. Tucker Carlson or Sean Hannity? Sean or Tucker? Both of them, Katie??? It looks like, BY A HAIR, Tucker Carlson wins this round, because of this quote from Tuesday night’s show (start around 2:35 in):

One of the things I don’t like about some of these white supremacist groups is that race is at the center of their world view, and I don’t want to live in a world where race is at the center of the worldview.

“One of the things” he doesn’t like about SOME OF the Nazis is how they are racist. Not sure what the other things Carlson doesn’t like about Nazis are. They seem to agree on gypsies!

Maybe he’s worried they get more pussy than he does. Maybe he wishes they would focus their violence on people who scare him a lot more, like gay dudes and transgender folks using the bathroom. MAYBE! We just don’t know.

Anyway, Carlson agrees that both sides do it, especially the Left side, which is racist against racists, racistly:

I see people with signs attacking white supremacy or it’s always about race with them as well. … They seem every bit as race-obsessed and angry as the people they are fighting. But nobody acknowledges that for some reason.

“For some reason.” That’s right, Tucker, who among us (if not Donald Trump!) will defend bigots against the reverse-bigots who unfairly hate them for being bigots? He didn’t mention Black Lives Matter right then, but we assume he thought it, because Tucker Carlson is the kind of racist puddle of human excrement who thinks that when black people stand up and say they’d like to have the right to life and liberty just like everybody else, that they are somehow slurring white people.

By the way, Tucker Carlson really hates it when you call him a Nazi apologist, so even though he’s engaging in WhatAboutIsm and trying to make liberals out to be the REAL racists, which would suggest that if he had been in Charlottesville, he’d have felt fairly at home holding a tiki torch, don’t say that. It’s just not nice and it hurts his feelings.

Also don’t mention how the Nazi Fuckstain who rammed his car into the crowd and murdered Heather Heyer just might have gotten that idea from a video published by The Daily Caller, which was founded by … Tucker Carlson! (Fox News, Carlson’s employer, also had a post like that. Surprise, they have both suddenly been deleted.)

Here’s another segment, where Carlson explains that Trump was totally right to say removing Confederate monuments is a slippery slope — here in this week after literal Nazis killed people over the removal of a confederate monument — and that before we know it, those evil leftists (the real racists) are going to demand we take down statues of George Washington and Thomas Jefferson. He then lists a group of really awesome people who ALSO owned slaves, like Plato, Muhammad and the Aztecs, because that’s relevant:

 

Oh no! The liberals are going to take down all the statues of Plato and the Aztecs! And they would take the Muhammad statues down, except for how there aren’t any!

Once again, and SLOWLY, for slow people like Tucker Carlson: Confederate “heroes” like Robert E. Lee and Stonewall Jackson were traitors to America who started a civil war SOLELY to preserve slavery, at the very same time a whole bunch of other Americans and Abraham Lincoln were ENDING SLAVERY. Now, we don’t know which side of that fight Jefferson and Washington and Plato and the Aztecs would have been on, had they all been alive and American in the 1860s, but …

GO FUCK YOURSELF, TUCKER CARLSON, NONE OF THIS IS REMOTELY THE POINT, AND YOU FUCKING KNOW IT.

Apropos of nothing, here’s a video Vox put together of Nazi Richard Spencer, white supremacist David Duke, and the Daily Stormer defying biology and jizz-sploding out of their flaccid dicks about how much they looooooooooooove Tucker Carlson. It’s not because he’s one of them, though, heck nope.

 

Oh great, now you watched that video and you think Tucker Carlson is a racist white supremacist Nazi now. Didn’t we JUST tell you not to call him that? Don’t call him that. It’s definitely not true. Nuh uh! NOPE.

Eh fuck it, we report, you decide, etc.

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  • armed_bears

    Tucker Collaborator.

  • Bright Bart
    • Swampgas_Man

      That version of Kim looks like a guy I knew in college.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Nuka Kappa Guam

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Kim looks no worse (or better) than usual, but Dolt 45 still looks like a dolled-up cat’s asshole in every setting.

    • Master Contrail Program

      Boy, things look rough for Shemp Howard.

  • cheetojeebus

    Tucker “ass sneeze” Carlson, You racist piece of shit, well, fuck right the fuck off.

    • Baconzgood

      I find your views intriguing. How can I subscribe to your news letter?

  • WANT SOMEBODYS THINKED OF THE WHITE SURPREMIST RACIZTS?!?

    “It’s hard to get a job, hard to make a living, hard to have a normal social life when all your friends and family know you believe in ethnic cleansing.”

    https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/7xxbez/doxxing-white-supremacists-is-making-them-terrified?utm_source=dmfb

    • Baconzgood

      He went on to say “just because I have a back sized tattoo of Hitler they won’t let me be a life guard”

  • Joshua Norton

    Trump and his cronies obviously doesn’t understand history, but history will understand them all too well.

  • Sean McLaren

    Hey Rs, this is what contrition looks like:

    https://twitter.com/clayaiken/status/897605240706527233

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Yes… You are.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      We also remember all those times you denied being gay, too.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Remember?! Who the fuck are you again?

    • arglebargle

      When’s Caitlyn Jenner gonna wake up and smell the toast burning?

      • OrdinaryJoe

        She will still be apologizing for the Shitstain when the Trumpenazis are boring down her house.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          “Maybe it will fall the other way and kill a liberal!”

      • exinkwretch

        Not until Trump shits in her bowl of Wheaties.

        • nick kelly

          If Trump shits the bed someone else be unhappy.
          Solution: A divorce petition and an Article 25 petition rolled into one.

      • When Trumpy decides to renege on that tax cut.

        • generalleeme

          Yeah baby that will do it. The Rs will be jumping over each other in a real shit show to cut him loose.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Ugh. This reminds me of the inevitable “we lost our way” pity ploy the GOP will use once even they can’t stick with Dolt 45.

  • IdiotsforPalin

    “Maybe he’s worried they get more pussy than he does.” Ya think?

    • goingohm

      Tucker gets pussy? Wow! I defy you to be unimpressed by that.

      • IdiotsforPalin

        Fucker gets no pussy…..but his rentboy.com account is premier

  • arglebargle

    They’ve put away the dog whistles and started using elephant whistles.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Not using dog whistles anymore. They are being led by a whole Ku Klux Band.

      • goingohm

        They’re coming to your town
        To help you burn it down
        They’re an Un-American Band

    • jesterpunk

      They replaced the dog whistles with a bullhorn.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Washington’s statue should be torn down because he fought against good, hard-workin’ folk who just wanted to brew their own whiskey without the revenuers sticking their nose in it.
    There. I said it.

    • altleftjohn

      🎶 My daddy he made whiskey, my granddaddy he did too
      We ain’t paid no whiskey tax since 1792 🎶

  • bbayliss

    T.V. dinners.
    I rest my case.

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Dear Tuckwad,

    You are a Nazi apologist.

    Hate this for the rest of your day.

    WSH

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    They seem every bit as race-obsessed and angry as the people they are fighting. But nobody acknowledges that for some reason.

    Funny how some people get pissed when other around them express racist sentiments, isn’t it? And why is it that people don’t consider that form of anger to be morally equivalent to the anger of the white supremacists, I wonder?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6e3f8bf7ea6a6f894c393b8a4da2a4931076fe130cb59d9a8bbafb7dd984a464.gif

  • schmannity

    People of color are obsessed about race. Poor people are obsessed about food and housing. Sick people are obsessed about healthcare. Such a grievance society!

    • mailman27

      The law is the same for rich and poor alike. No one may steal a loaf of bread or sleep on a park bench.

  • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

    Tucker Carlson, the most punchable face in “journalism”.

    • schmannity

      Hannity deserves an honorable mention punch.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Tied with Hannity. Oh wait. There’s Stuart Varney. Lou Dobbs. Brian Kilmeade. Steve Doocy. Greg Gutfield. Chris Cillizza. Chuck Todd…

      Hmmmm. Decisions, decisions.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    I don’t know where to start without preaching to the choir so I will just keep my trap shut.

    • Wild Cat

      I was staying in the Jordaan about a decade ago. An elderly woman saw I was an American and stopped me near my hotel, the Di-Ann, if I recall. She was of WWII age and very upset. She told me that the Netherlands was becoming very racist, very anti-Semitic, and was ashamed. She was near tears and said, “Only poetry could save us.” I didn’t know what to say. I knew the US was troubled, that the Netherlands had some issues, but all in all I felt OK—Bushism was on the downturn.
      Now I know what she was saying. Only I’m not sure about the poetry . . .

      • marxalot

        Maybe that explains why I’ve had the impulse to write more poetry recently.

        • Wild Cat

          I always found the line, “There can be no poetry after the Holocaust,” to be bizarre because psychotic Ezra Pound got laid left and right in the US after supporting the fascists and nazis.

          This world psychosis is nothing new, but I wish I had passed through before I had to live in it.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        About ten years ago we had the murder of Pim Fortuyn and Theo van Gogh so I guess she was worried about what was happening in the aftermath.

        Poetry probably has to do with a Dutch poem on many war monuments by van Randwijk

        “Een volk dat voor tirannen zwicht, zal meer dan lijf en goed verliezen, dan dooft het licht.”

        Roughly translated: “A nation sucumbing to tiranny will lose more than life and property, It’s when the light goes out.”

        • Wild Cat

          Ja. Good points. So many times I have traveled, but have only seen the illusion of tourism and hedonism.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            What exactly do you mean by that?

          • Wild Cat

            Well, when one travels to another nation on vacation, one doesn’t worry about the politics, the waiter’s salary, if one is giving money to an awful company by buying their beer, etc.

    • blaid droog

      You are truly a wise man. I bet Dok,Evan,Rebecca,Robin and all the other bloggers often feel the same way.

  • William
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Think of the Nazis. They didn’t want their blood mixing with non-Aryan blood inside those mosquitoes.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        If I was a mosquito, I would have bought them the torches to warn me away from drinking their Nazi blood.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    Is he in the Pantheon of punchable faces? Just asking.

    • Permit-holder Ron

      The Pantheon is ever-expanding.

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
    • Michael Smith

      That’s excellent.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      George Lincoln Rockwell.

      Update: Norm’s more punchable brother.

  • Indiepalin

    Pretty soon they’ll be tearing down statues of Saddam Hussain.

  • schmannity
    • arglebargle

      Only 40 pads per box? We’re gonna need a few cartons.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Tuck: Soothing itchy assholes across the nation.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Hemorrhoid Rage.

  • Zonath

    “And let me tell you about these folks like Oskar Schindler, Dimitar Peshev, Chiune Sugihara, and Carl Lutz, who are going so far themselves as breaking laws in order to shelter people from the lawful authorities…”

    • Msgr_MΩment

      And there was no waiting line to register at the “Shelter Jews” window.

  • blaid droog

    Tucks mouth looks like it was meant to suck donkey dick.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Instead I will let Blake do the talking on my behalf.
    https://twitter.com/justinedus/status/897839570674479104

  • Michael Smith

    Yeah and Tucker Carlson is deployed by Fox News as a pace-setter for conservatives and they generally follow his lead. We are in a disturbing realm, in which right wing white nationalism is becoming more mainstream than perhaps it has ever been in the U.S.

  • eyelashviper

    Someone at RS put this together, and it is good:
    Please pass it on:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWb98vasxI4

    • The day the laughing stock stopped.

  • Adam Field

    Up next on the main stage, it’s… Plato and the Aztecs!

    • Notreelyhelping

      Loved their first album.

      • Hither and Yawn

        They totally sold out once they made it big.

        • Notreelyhelping

          Kind of like the Ziggy Stardust story: Plato was nothing without his Aztecs.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Did the Aztecs bring their back up band “Human Sacrifice?”

      • Notreelyhelping

        “Here comes the audience participation segment of the evening.”

  • William

    Yeah, yeah, let’s just get this out of the way right now.
    Robert Matthew Van Winkle Libelz! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6dd959ec3a5058742d82b98063145fee9bd843924b69949174577d6bd87f651e.jpg

    • eyelashviper

      Bravo, a great one, as always!

    • OrdinaryJoe

      That wins the internet today.

    • Permit-holder Ron

      I am SO stealing that. Wait, I think I just did.

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    I can’t believe that I am going to quote Don Lemon approvingly, but these are strange times. But he said “Imagine if you were Jewish, and you had to go to Hitler High School”.

    This. This right here. A huge chunk of black people in this country were obligated to go to schools named after and honoring people who betrayed their country and fought to keep other human beings as chattel. How in the fuck could you *not* believe that white people are held to different standards after that?

  • marxalot

    His hair looks like, if you touched it, it would just pop off. Like, Lego hair. The wig in a bagged “anchorman” costume you find at Party City or Spirit the day after Hallowe’en.

    • cmd resistor

      Lego hair. HAHAHAHA. So true.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    Tucker just talked about race while discussing white supremacists. Why is he so obsessed with race???

    • marxalot

      I know, right?!

  • OrdinaryJoe

    The name Tucker Carlson should ALWAYS be preceded with the title “Nazi apologist and slavery excuser”. See Wonkette Style Manual.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I often criticize white supremacists for their haircuts, fashion choices, and tastes in music…so it’s not REALLY all about race.

  • Crystalclear12

    Tucker Carlson IS the argument that humans don’t have souls.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Human Libelz.

      • Crystalclear12

        Valid

    • Nockular cavity

      Wait, I have problems with your first postulate, “1. Tucker Carlson is a human.”

  • folderol

    It seems slavery is not held in as high regard as it used to be. Fox should do a poll.

  • exinkwretch

    Tucker is such a powerful person, he blows holes in BOTH the concept of white supremacy and American exceptionalism with the sheer force of his repulsive personality. He blows goats, too, also.

    • Marion in Savannah

      He fights Mickey Kaus for the goats.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    they would take the Muhammad statues down, except for how there aren’t any!

    IIRC, there is a depiction of Muhammad as lawgiver in a frieze at the SCOTUS building, which somehow the Republicans haven’t tried to sandblast yet…

  • Suttree

    If there was any justice in this world, Fucker Carlson would be forced to eat this for every meal for the rest of his life. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/269e96117242f051be4600b617959b7bd2f20d4a7c9a603fa48c5310fe35a94a.jpg

    • Snopes Shop

      I loved that as a kid. I thought it was “exotic”

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Rice…and beans. That’s crazy, man! :)

      • MizzMazz

        I loved those too. And Libby-Land meals. They had packets of purple stuff you could mix into your milk, and make it into…purple milk.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Frozen also.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        No, kinda sorta warmed over with the inevitable pit of frozeness in the center… Every. Time.

      • Suttree

        He can suck on it like a popsicle.

        • wide_stance_hubby

          Cook it in your ass, Tuckwad!

    • William
    • OrdinaryJoe

      Cruel and unusual. Sorry.

      • Suttree

        Exactly!

    • eyelashviper

      Sitting on a cold metal cot in a cell.

      • William

        With non stop Nickel back on the PA, or full house 24/7 on the tube.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Whoa!
          Easy there, Satan!

          That’s a bit much, ya think?

        • NastyBossetti

          He probably likes Nickelback.

        • eyelashviper

          Yeah, and a 24 very loud loop of Nancy Sinatra singing “These Boots are made for Walking”.

    • jesterpunk

      Still looks better then some of the MREs you get in the military.

      • Suttree

        At least those are packaged in opaque bags. You can just close your eyes and eat them. This is visually stunning!

      • Yellerduck

        Freeze dried pork patty libel!

        (Actually, the freeze dried pork patty was one I would always trade for. If you broke it up and mixed it with the soup powder and gave it enough time, it wasn’t half bad, and it had the best accessory pouch with the chocolate graham cracker cookies in it.)

        • jesterpunk

          I liked the ones that came with M&M’s.

          • Yellerduck

            I never saw one of those; after my time, I guess. I actually got to see the end of C-rations and the first gen MRE’s. We used to have to pack our own Tabasco sauce, usually in an ammo pouch. The Tabasco company caught wind and started making the little bottles for the accessory pack after I was out. Guess they wanted folks to stop going out one magazine short. Still had that onion on my belt though!

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      Looks like it already went through the digestive process at least once.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        Twice. Second time was a dog.

    • What are you saying? That’s kick-ass!

    • chortlingdingo

      Enchiladas and tamales are super delicious, but I don’t know that I’d eat them in a TV dinner.

  • “We like us some Tucker because he respects our strict “No kissing” and “DON’T FUCKIN LOOK AT ME!” rules.”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b76ac9daa52925f4f5033a9a0a11acac979b50460596b71d01758b304af25afa.jpg

    • exinkwretch

      Eugenics! It takes MANY generations of inbreeding to produce a mug like that.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Gotta-keep-the-family-pure libel!

    • jesterpunk

      Y’all Qaeda

      • Permit-holder Ron

        Vanilla Isis.

    • ELVIS!

  • Treg Brown

    Dear Tucker,

    I’m as white as they come and I’m biased against Nazis. Not racist. If you’re going with racially focused hyperbole, at least get the terms right. Fascist.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Racist-ism is the worst -ism.”
    — Tucker Carlson

    • [slack jawed – empty confused stare]

  • Joe T.

    Anagrams don’t lie. Tucker Carlson = Clunker Scrota

  • DerrickWildcat

    You know why Carlson never served in the Military? Lol, c’mon, just look at him.

  • Zonath

    From Wikipedia:

    William Brooke Joyce (24 April 1906 – 3 January 1946), nicknamed Lord Haw-Haw, was an American-born, Fascist politician and Nazi propaganda broadcaster to the United Kingdom during World War II. He was convicted of one count of high treason in 1945 and was sentenced to death. The Court of Appeal and the House of Lords upheld his conviction. He was hanged at Wandsworth Prison by Albert Pierrepoint on 3 January 1946, making him the second last person to be executed for treason in the United Kingdom (before Theodore Schurch the following day).

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Joyce

  • eyelashviper
    • beingreleased

      Trump, later this afternoon: “If we get rid of the Confederate statues, what next? The Martin Luther King statues? Hey, actually, that’s not a bad idea…”

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Stop giving them ideas!

    • won’t we have to kill Jesus?

  • exinkwretch

    I dream of wielding a powerful Weed Whacker, and Tucker, Sean and Newt’s shitty haircuts all neatly lined up . . .

  • Latverian Diplomat

    So why are these white supremacists so stuck on what was going on in Europe in the ’40s? Why not take a look there today and get all excited about a robust welfare state, strong labor unions, and democratic institutions that work?

    • TJ Barke

      Cuz communism or something.

  • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

    People on the Left are just so angry about domestic terrorists who kill protestors with cars. The Left is also angry because a bunch of neo-Nazis march around with torches yelling about the Jews. Also, too, people on the Left are angry that the so-called POTUS thinks that neo-Nazis can be good people. And if you really want to see some Leftist heads explode, just watch what happens when the KKK marches without hoods because now they know that the federal government has their backs.

    See – those Leftists sure are angry! How come no one condemn their obvious anger?

  • Msgr_MΩment
  • jesterpunk
  • BigCSouthside

    We’re not pissed at the Confederacy or of The idolization of it just because they were slave owners. We are pissed because in the face of widespread social criticism and legislative action to end slavery, THEY COMMITTED TREASON AND TOOK UP ARMS TO PRESERVE THEIR RIGHT TO OWN HUMANS.

    Yes, a lot of founders owned slaves, and that is not something to just ignore, but they also laid the framework through constitutional republic governed by a malleable constitution to render slavery obsolete and elevate the rights of former slaves by peaceful legislative means, and when the country tried to do that, Lee and others decided “fuck those guys, we’re going to war against the constitution”

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Who would’ve guessed that a frozen tv dinner trust fund could make you that stupid?

    • Permit-holder Ron

      I blame the aluminum foil.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        “Honey, did you eat the packaging again?”

        • Suttree

          They figured out how much he ate by subtracting what was wrapped around his head from the total.

  • YoBunnyBunny

    Vox had a good smackdown on this

    https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2017/8/16/16154738/lee-davis-washington-jefferson

    Jefferson Davis, Robert E. Lee, and the other politicians and generals who served the Confederate States of America aren’t noteworthy historical figures who also happened to benefit from the institution of slavery. They are historical figures who are noteworthy almost exclusively because they led an insurrection against the United States of America, an insurrection whose primary purpose was to perpetuate slavery.

    Owning human chattel — and offering intellectual and political defenses of the institution of American slavery — is an important and dishonorable part of Thomas Jefferson’s legacy. But it’s the entirety of Davis’s legacy.
    ….
    It’s true that the real historical figures at work were more complicated than the storybook heroes conventionally presented to young children. But the storybook hero version of Washington makes sense because Washington really did participate in great acts worth celebrating, even if he also did terrible things like own human beings
    as personal property or sleazy things like pick the location for the nation’s capital to maximize the value of his own landholdings.

    Confederate leaders, by contrast, are being celebrated purely for doing something bad.

    • jesterpunk

      Yes but did the confederates have a permit?

      • YoBunnyBunny

        They. Did. NOT!

        • jesterpunk

          Well shit, if they just had a permit it would be all good from what Turnip said.

          • I wonder if Nazi hunting permits left over from WWII.are still valid… I’m going to look on ebay.

          • jesterpunk

            They should be, if you get one you can hunt Nazis legally. Just show them your permit.

        • MynameisBlarney

          But…but…
          Ah. I got nuthin.

      • exinkwretch

        Fuckin’ A! It was attached to the first shell they lobbed at Ft.Sumter!

      • marxalot

        The did not! And there are those for whom the first and most damning sin of the Confederacy is this: that they may have had the right to seceded, but they aboslutely did not have the right to secede the way they did it.

        • jesterpunk

          I am not defending them, just being a smartass and making fun of Trump because of his permit comment.

          • marxalot

            I know, but I will always take an opportunity to point out that the confeds were in breach of even their own interpretation of the Constitution from beginning to end.

          • goingohm

            They were also in breach of their own constitution, which barred any spending for internal improvements and thereby impaired their own ability to prepare for war.

      • To get a permit, did they have to submit to an anal sonic scan, and look at the monitor?

      • Suttree

        They wrote their own damn permits!

  • MynameisBlarney

    *insert non-comment here that would get me banned…use your imagination*

    • jodyleek

      First I’d with votes with votes with votes with votes with votes and with votes. And then I’d with votes with votes with votes right in their with votes. Finally I’d with votes with votes with votes on their mother’s lawn and with votes with votes with votes their entrails. With votes.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        I agree with all of that but that one with votes. Seems a bit extreme, don’t you think?

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Just saw some video of the marching torchlight assholes chanting “blood and soil”, a slogan straight from Nazi Germany, praising the pure-blooded peasants that toiled in the fields. Nice people, even those with a statue fetish, don’t do that.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      But they had a permit….

    • William
      • Give him a chance, he joined weight watchers, and carries a 60 pound pack.

      • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

        Well yeah, Harkonnens are raised like that.

      • Paganish

        “I know NUSSING!!”

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        This is actually insulting to nazi’s wearing those waffen SS insignia because as much as you may hate the ideology they were very well trained capable soldiers striking fear in the hearts of every enemy. This fat bitch is only dangerous when het gets the change to sit on you.

        • William

          I dunno. Seems like he’d be the most dangerous guy at Golden Corral.

        • YoBunnyBunny

          And they’re uniform tailoring was also better.

      • toughsister

        Oh yeah! Bonde, blue-eyed, athletic build. A real sample of the Aryan Master Race!

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Say, handsome. What are you doing after the putsch?

    • YoBunnyBunny

      “pure-blooded peasants that toiled in the fields”? In America?

      Those weren’t peasants. Those were African slaves.

      • Creepoman

        Or Mexicans.

  • Baconzgood

    “Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick. This fucking dude in a melon head” is what Tucker’s graphics girl murmured under her breath when making this graphic

    • Parakeetist
      • Baconzgood

        This is why I like wonkette. Some one will always get a Dead Milkman’s reference. Now I got to feed a big lizard in my back yard with my punk rock girl why I watch my dog Scott die

  • Baconzgood

    We must go to war with Azteciastan to end slavery. WHO’S WITH ME?!!?!!

    • Suttree

      Will there be margaritas?

      • Baconzgood

        No blood for tequila (is what anti-war protester sign’s will read)

        • Suttree

          Mezcal with a worm in it it is!

          • Baconzgood

            I can’t drink that. It makes me punchy.

    • Bemused Australian

      I’ll fire up Civ 6. Who’s hosting the session?

      • eggs ackly-wright

        Chick filet?

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “Don’t blame me, you wouldn’t give me Feudalisim, so of course I’m stuck using the Slavery Civic.”
        — Digital Montezuma

    • Marsupial99

      You misspelled Azteci-teci-teci-teci-stan-stan.

      • Major_Major_Major

        Not to be too pedantic, but you might want to count your “teci”s. I believe you may have missed a few.

        • Marsupial99

          Well, sure, Major Major Major Major Major Major Major Major, you would think that!

      • Mr. Blobfish

        I can’t believe I’m writing this, but the world would be a better place with Herman Cain as president.

    • We will take their chocolate as spoils of war!

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Let’s get the quinoa eaters!

    • Major_Major_Major

      May Chacmool guide you in your glorious struggle!!!!

    • Thank you, Hernando Cortes.

  • Wild Cat

    If you ever found Goebbels, Himmler, von Braun, Ribbentrop, et al. to be abstract figures, they’re right there on your TV, radio, internet, and newspapers 24/7/365.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Goebbels, Himmler and Carlson are sitting together in hell:

      Goebells says, ” how did I get here? I was only defending the German people.”

      Himmler says, “How did I get here? I was only saving my race.

      Carlson says. “How did I get here? I didn’t think you would get in trouble for telling WHITE lies.”

    • Sean McLaren

      It’s such a modern day meme version of Nazis, a double backflip handspring of irony. All the descriptions of Nazis went “monsters look just like everyone else” so they managed to hide by turning the entire idea of that inside out and actually looking like monsters. It all just seemed too obvious.

  • He’s such a clean cut young man.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      “mean runt of a man.”

      FIFY

      • Major_Major_Major

        I think you accidentally hit r in place of c

      • He smokes pot discreetly.

  • TJ Barke

    Why are white supremacists always so mediocre? Could it be that that’s the only thing “exceptional” about them?

    • Major_Major_Major

      Hold on there, podna. The list is long.
      They are:
      1)exceptionally stupid,
      2)exceptionally repugnant
      3)exceptionally backpfeifengesicht-y

    • They want to hang with people whose insults are simple.

    • toughsister

      Mediocre would be a step up.

    • Rags

      the banality of evil

  • DerrickWildcat

    As a White guy, could the White power slobs at least put up someone that is a presentable White guy as an example of superiority instead of the fat dirty dumb droolers that I always see talking about being superior?

    • Alan

      No. There’s a correlation to be found.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      I read somewhere that they are trying. The pickings, as they say, are slim.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Slim Pickens libel.

      • HarpyLibtart

        Yeah, they didn’t like the way they looked on TV while they were rioting…they were envisoning a squad of Aryan panty-dropping ubermensch and got a bunch of chubby men in ratty t-shirts.
        Aspiring racists are now encouraged to invest in polo shirts and gym memberships; however, I believe cousin-incest is still OK.

    • toughsister

      There’s no one else. Just like there’s no one else besides that dingbat with teabags hanging from her hat (You know who she is…)

  • Major_Major_Major

    I’m not racist but….[the very next thing to spew from your mouthhole will confirm the negative of the previous words].
    Fuck, I am so tired of having this fight yet again, I can only imagine what you olds what are older than this old must feel like,

    • marxalot

      I’m not racist, but it’s really cold in my office.

      • Major_Major_Major

        I’m not racist, but I should have seen that coming.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        If you have a black friend who’s also cold, then you’re okay.

      • Bemused Australian

        I’m not racist, but I forgot to buy a loaf of bread on the way home.

        • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

          I’m not racist, but I play one on TV

      • do your coworkers wear bras?

    • Sean McLaren

      There’s an old saying that when someone says something, ignore everything before the but. “I’m not racist, but…” takes the limit of that statement as absurdity approaches infinity.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      That was a trick of the offspring in their teenage years: “I don’t mean to be offensive mom” then say something REALLY offensive.

      • Major_Major_Major

        My teenager drops his f-bombs first and apologizes after. He must get his filthy mouth from my fucking wife.

      • cmd resistor

        “With all due respect….”

        • SadDemInTex

          …that’s a bunch of malarkey”

      • Marion in Savannah

        That’s a variation on the “I don’t mean to butt in, but…” ploy.

    • Creepoman

      The only thing a racist hates more than the blahs is . . . being called a racist.

    • foiled again

      Stove in, is how many of us feel. Tell you what, though, the prevailing feeling in Foiled Manor is of fear for the future of the Youngs.

    • Yellerduck

      I used to feel like I was helping make progress, however slowly. I would accept the three steps forward, two steps back as the way things had to be. Now I feel like I’ve been walking up an endless down elevator and what progress I perceived was just an illusion.

      • Major_Major_Major

        Spot on. Thanks for putting that imagery into words. It is the perfect summation.

      • SadDemInTex

        Change elevator to escalator and the analogy is even better

        • Yellerduck

          Yah. That’s what I meant. Damn.

    • Paul

      Old. And disappointed

    • “… Aristittle Onassis is one Greek we don’t need.”

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0ZMj5RksbE

  • Hanaka

    Tucker – what a racist nazi white supremicist. Look out, Tucker’s fee fees are about to get hurted by that mean old truth.

    • Bemused Australian

      He gets very upset when people are mean to nazis. It is because he loves tolerance so much.

      • intolerance of intolerance is intolerance.

        • Bemused Australian

          *nod nod* The tyranny of political correctness.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Instead of beating on about what we all know, I want to put up this clip of Heather Heyer’s father speaking at her memorial.
    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/897843156758089728

    • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

      Oh god, the comments. Time to step away.

      • cmd resistor

        Thanks for the warning.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Never ever read comments. Thank heaven they don’t allow comments here.

  • Red Bird

    So, like I’m no history expert but didn’t the descendants of the Aztecs abolish slavery in Mexico years before the US Americans did?

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Although Texas doesn’t advertise it, that’s one of the reasons that Texas declared independence from Mexico.

      • Red Bird

        Oh I know.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “41 of 56 signers of the Declaration of Independence were slaveowners, therefore, the Declaration of Independence is bad! No, that’s not right…therefore slavery was good! No, tempting but no…therefore this is an irrelevant point raised by a hack who will do anything to help out his white supremacist buddies…Bingo!”
    — Tucker Carlson works out the implications

  • Sean McLaren
    • Wild Cat

      WASF.

    • Raan

      JFC

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Okay, someone needs to go find the root file and reset the program. There seem to be a lot of random errors popping up that are destabilizing the universe.

      • Nockular cavity

        “This timeline sucks!”
        Redshirts

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Ahh, well, the irony meter is pegging with a fucking Israeli snowflake defending Nazis… Ahh well, not acceptable words to say… oh, and what the fuck does he have to say about U.S. race relations, in the face of … oh just fuck him…

      • Mr. Blobfish

        No, silly. They’re Neo-Nazis, not Nazis. Big difference.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          In their armaments, not in their philosophy.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Interesting claim. Based on what exactly? Random turds in the toilet?

      • Raan

        I assume based on being somewhere to the right of Erwin Rommel.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Does the Israeli educational system create a lot of this kind of stupid?

      • Wild Cat

        Someone here once had wise words for me re the Israeli right: “They’ve been staring too long into the abyss.”

      • Sean McLaren

        This is born out of the mess that Israeli politics has become in trying to make peace with itself as an occupying power and dealing with that, in part, by (very narrowly) electing a government that has moved further and further to the right, and abandoned principle and conviction in the name of holding the coalition together, keeping international alliances with anyone that will stand by them, attacking anyone who criticizes them.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Maybe that’s not a brilliant thing for him to say when his country historically supported South African apartheid. Fuck him.

      /commentingrulesforradicals

    • Manders

      Well, sure. We should totally listen to Netanyahu’s spawn, because he knows shit about shit and totally lives in the United States and understands our history.

      • Manders

        Also, kid, isn’t it time for you to rebel against Daddy?

    • Permit-holder Ron

      Y’know, Yair, just because your Daddy comes across like Drumpf in a kippah doesn’t mean you need to sound like Eric and/or Don Jr.

    • Incoming Ham

      The question is: why did anyone care enough about his opinion to even ask?

  • fawkedifiknow

    At least we got our answer quickly on whether Kelley would be able to “presidentize” Trump, or not.

    • Major_Major_Major

      It’s an unpredisented situation.

    • cmd resistor

      Did you see the film of him standing behind a blue curtain during the “speech” and wincing visibly while trying not to?

      • Major_Major_Major

        It’s not often you see expressions like that on a Marine. If he wasn’t already dick deep in collaboration with the Trumpenfuhrer I would feel sorry for him.

  • Treg Brown
    • Jay B.

      Jesus. I’m with Mitt!

      • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

        Wow, you’ve sunk pretty low when the Mormons think you’re racist.

    • Mittens is here to the LEFT of certain “both sides” / “violence is never the answer” liberals.

  • Baconzgood

    Tucker Carlson: showing every day that Idiocracy was a warning and not a comedy.

  • TheGrandWazoo2
    • Bill D. Burger
      • Incoming Ham

        John Barrowman is a good distraction right now.

    • Lemme just ruin Disney while where at it…

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgIz93ueWtw

      • …all the snowflakes there in the tiki room in the tiki tiki tiki room…

        • Nockular cavity

          Clearly, we should declare war on Tiki-tiki-tikistan.

    • 3FingerPete

      You’d think with it being a college town those NAZIs could have found a proper beer hall.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        They couldn’t find one that had the Horst Wessel Song on the karaoke machine.

    • rocktonsam

      the tiki torches seem for Saturday night , Dewar’s on the beach, not Friday night Icehouse beer racists rioting.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea
    • foiled again

      Alexandra is dangerously close to National Treasuredom.

  • Raan

    “Tucker’s Thoughts”, there’s a fuckin’ contradiction in terms.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      “Tucker’s Thoughts” sounds like it should be a segment hosted by a toddler. Which is almost right, but the toddler would have more logic.

    • laughingnome

      “Fucker’s Farts”

  • toughsister

    I don’t know whether Hillary Clinton has this a**hole on her “deplorables” list, but he certainly belongs there.

    • Raan

      In her basket, thank you very much.

  • Baconzgood

    He is why hamsters eat their young.

    • laughingnome

      I thought it was the HAM.

      • Baconzgood

        What’s this about ham?

      • Incoming Ham

        Hey now.

    • You know if I was reincarnated as a pig I would be a cannibal pig because bacon…

      • Baconzgood

        Baconzgood.

  • ziggywiggy

    Msnbc doing a split screen, one side is the nazis marching with tiki torches and the other is trump ranting: “No, no. There were people in that rally, and I looked the night before. If you look, they were people protesting very quietly, the taking down the statue of Robert E. Lee.”

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      WaPo ran an event by event analysis of the weekend, and what really triggered the violence was that torchlight march.
      Now that we know, colleges and universities can exclude that kind of activity as similar to yelling fire in a crowded theater.
      That was Richard Spencer’s doing, and he really deserves to be bear sprayed in his nether parts- with votes.

      • BearGHAZI

        Is bear spray in the nether regions painful? I have yet to try

  • Michael R
    • Bemused Australian

      I thought that expression indicated that he was receiving one.

  • Ninja0980
    • Alan

      So in their world calling someone a faggot is meant to be hurtful?

  • Mr. Blobfish

    OT, but Happy Elvis’ Death Day, everybody!

    • Michael R
      • Mr. Blobfish

        No. You’re the presleyist.

    • Raan

      Is it really Toilet Coronary Day already? How time flies when you’re engulfed in rage.

    • Bemused Australian

      If only he didn’t discover the truth about the moon landings he could still be with us today. Damn you NASA, and your murdering ways!

      • Raan

        I’ve heard from a reliable source that he’s living in Scotland with Janis Joplin and JFK.

        • Loch-side?

          • Raan

            Of course.

        • Bemused Australian

          Nah, that’s Buddy Holly. He got fat.

          • Raan

            Must be hitting those fried Mars bars.

          • Or fried everthing. A Scot is the only person as likely as an American to fry anything and eat it

          • Raan

            That’s it, if the UK will have me, I’m going to Scotland.

      • How could a bunch of space nerds take out a highly-trained DEA agent? He had the badge and everything!

  • Parakeetist

    Again, best Democratic Underground thread title ever: “Tucker Carlson, go fuck yourself, you scumbag.” It was in all caps. I saved you the eye strain. You’re welcome.

  • William
    • Raan

      I think the ones that came for the wine are the generals.

    • Baconzgood

      This is so Internet win. I doff my cap to good sir.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        OT but-
        We had the “doff my cap” discussion yesterday. It was decided that from now on the phrase would be considered a euphemism for masturbation. Enjoy your doffing good sir.

        • Shirley Temples Dog

          Hehe! I love a good Eupho! (yeah, yeah, I know Eupho isn’t a thing….) But yeah fuck these guys! Hey where’s my Tiki torch?

  • foiled again

    Tucker Carlson- a man whose every orifice is an asshole. I’d lay even money he perspires shit.

  • 3FingerPete

    Last night one of my local radio hosts went to great lengths to explain Charlottesville was a prime example of lefties fighting lefties. See, you probably don’t realize NAZIs are leftists because they have socialism right there in their name, and the KKK was and still is a faction of the Democrat(ic) Party. Rather than celebrating their and Antifa’s mutual philosophies and goals both sides surrendered to the violent base instincts inherent to their ilk. No actual conservatives were hurt in the making of the Charlottesville riot. Hail Trump. Hail Ivanka.

    • jesterpunk

      But Trump and republicans are defending Nazis, how do they explain that?

      • 3FingerPete

        It never came up.

    • Liquid Tomato

      The lefties at the Unite the Right rally?

      • 3FingerPete

        Somehow that factoid never made it into the analysis. Nor the vocal support for Donald Trump.

    • Raan

      I would need peyote to try to understand this reasoning.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        I think peyote would still allow too much reality to intrude. You would actually need to excise your cerebral cortex to reach this level of derp.

        • Raan

          Well, that or several decades of hard drinking and blaming everyone but myself for my problems.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        With a psilocybin chaser.

    • Bemused Australian

      Does he get paid to read out the comments section at Fox Nation, or is it an attempt at public service?

      • 3FingerPete

        Oh, this guy is very serious about his patriot status. He has liberals all figured out.

        • Bemused Australian

          Sounds awesome.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Huh. He didn’t try to work Islamists into that?

      • 3FingerPete

        He saves that for discussions about Barack Obama.

    • So Heard

      Some republicans keep saying KKK are democrats, forgetting that the Southern Strategy ever happened. Conservatives also forget that the only good nazi is a dead one. White nationalists forget that whites still make more than anyone else and their lifestyle isn’t endangered. White supremacists suffer from the Dunning-Kruger effect: to dumb to know that they are dumb. The combined group of them suffer from feelings of inadequacy and lack of creativity.

    • Ducksworthy

      Here’s an horrible thought. Ivanka imagines herself as Galadriel in LOTR, but doesn’t decline the ring.

  • anon_the_great

    How does he breathe?

    • Incoming Ham

      Gills.

  • Courser_Resistance

    I have no snark. We’re in nightmare territory here. I can sleep, thanks to weed, but last night I thrashed so much, I woke up to pillows and crap all over the room. I flinch at any loud noise and I’ve never seen any ‘action’ to speak of. And I’m white.

    • Alan

      We are officially past snark.

      • Incoming Ham

        We are in a post-snark era.

        • Jimh

          On 8/15, everything changed…

    • FiveAcres

      I am 61, female, middle-class, white, married and I am terrified. I can’t believe what people who don’t have all my privilege are going through.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Exactly. My stomach is constantly in knots. I don’t think I can eat without a crapton of weed on board. I can use to lose the extra weight, but I’ve lost almost 20 lbs since the election and having an eating disorder at my age is no bueno. I’m right there with you – I turn 59 in Nov.

  • UnsaltedSinner
    • Mr. Blobfish

      A truly Trumpian message.

    • Red Bird

      We tried that. It was called Jim Crow and segregation.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    A buddy of mine was up visiting from Florida last week. He told me about a recent trip to a new nightspot. Some big feller comes up to him and asks “are you a Hebrew”? Which he is. He said no, Italian and got out of there soon after.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Isn’t this like saying women are sexist because they protest against men who are sexist? Like, women are just OBSESSED with sexism every minute of every day, simply because they are genetically female, and not because they want to live every minute of every day without sex discrimination? Does that mean women are rapists because they don’t like being raped and so they press charges against rapists? How far can we take this argument…How about child abusers?

    • Bemused Australian

      Have you seen Fox News?

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I never watch Fox News. You couldn’t PAY me to watch Fox News. I don’t actually WATCH any news, I prefer to read it on the Web. That way I can run to the bathroom and throw up without missing anything.

    • Alan

      Yep, I think you got it.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Oh they’ve been there, don’t that and covered all bases.

      Don’t forget that it’s the queers who are also the ones trying to use their gaymosexual ways to cudgel Americans who are totally uninterested in their private affairs…

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Slightly OT. I wish I still had my bumper sticker that said “I’m the Gay Ann Richards sent to take away your guns.” Those were some days.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Gosh, I’ve known hundreds and hundreds of gay people in my 60 years, and not one of them has ever cudgled me (spell check refuses to accept that word). I must not know the right kind of homosexuals. As a matter of fact, the two BEST bosses I ever had were gay. Is being a good boss a gay trait? I haven’t read that anywhere, perhaps I missed it. Perhaps homosexuals should design all the management training workshops for straight people.

  • Actually, we do know which side Washington would have been on. When some farmers thought of telling the new government to go fuck itself over a tax on whiskey, President Washington led the army over to have a ‘chat’ with them about rethinking their position.

    • Ducksworthy

      History. Who knew?

  • BMW

    Tucker has more Straw Men than a Wizard of Oz cosplay convention.

  • rocktonsam

    ” Tucker’s Thoughts”
    lol

  • proudgrampa

    How do people like him live with themselves?

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Counting the coin you get from being a paid douche bag is probably diverting.

  • Lisa

    My hair hurts. I just don’t want to deal with all this crap any more. Who knew it was so difficult to live your life while letting others live theirs? I just don’t care who sleeps with who (just don’t try to have sex with my cows or pigs, buy your own), who marries who, what color you are. Just be nice to me and those around you. Gawd. It is not complicated.

    • SadDemInTex

      I always say to people (’cause I’m an old) “I don’t care if you fuck goats as long as your goatfucking doesn’t affect the workplace”.

      • Invisible Bunyip

        And the goat/s are consenting.

  • Incoming Ham

    The scary thing is that there are people sitting at home in their Lay-z Boys nodding their head in agreement with this moron.

  • Fancy Meau-Faux

    I wonder if any of these dipshits ever consider the fact that Mexico and much of the Americas were colonized primarily by the Spanish and Portuguese? Last I checked both of those countries were part of Europe and therefore part of European culture. They are just as much a part of “Western Civilization” as Northern Europe is.

    • 3FingerPete

      Spain was once conquered by Moors. Trumpists don’t like losers. Especially if they lost to muslins.

      • SadDemInTex

        For the record (sorry for being so annoyingly nerdy today) the DNA profile of Spain and Portugal today reveals that they have between 4-12% African origin DNA. 5% means that you great great grandparent had 100% African origin DNA and 12% means that your great grandparent had 100% African DNA. (I didn’t look up the “Moorish” part but I think it is comparable…not sure). LET ME REPEAT……THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS RACE IN HUMAN BIOLOGY. DNA simply shows WHERE your ancestors came from aggregations of the DNA information from all over the world.

        However, I would love to test the DNA of all those Nazi motherfuckers and show them they are part of the great mixing of humanity (although a bunch of them are probably as inbred as the Hapsburgs).

        • There was that Idaho based white separatist who turned out to have 16% sub-Saharan DNA.

          • SadDemInTex

            Hahahahahahaha…that’s what I mean. Someone get David Duke’s DNA.

          • george lastrapes

            Mitochondrial Eve was- let me put this as inoffensively as I can- uh, hem, haw, a person of color. You heard right, my brothers and sisters and cousins and extended family members.

        • 3FingerPete

          The chin gives them away.

        • thixotropic jerk

          Wait you said an ALL CAPS science! That race is a social construct idea not science fact makes the nottaracistyourtheracist racist heads go ‘splodey! Oh the humanity!

  • Daniel Hooper

    “One of the things I don’t like about some of these white supremacist groups is that race is at the center of their world view”

    ONE of the things?! As the wise Spanky Ham once said, “That’s the entire premise of my f?!#ing character!”

    Sigh; I miss Drawn Together…

  • proudgrampa

    How would The Thoughtful Tucker feel if Germany had statues of Hitler in downtown Berlin?

    He is A Idiot.

    • george lastrapes

      The bowtie made Tucker look smart, and Fox didn’t want any more of that. If he’s really going to stroke the O’Reilly demographic, he should buff up and wear a wife-beater. Maybe even claim to be a wife-beater.

      • proudgrampa

        He has a wife?

        • george lastrapes

          The prop department will supply one.

        • thixotropic jerk

          During the annual breeding season ShiTuckeroid is known to have several Lizard-Wives. Why dost thou askst?

    • I don’t think that would bother him.

      • proudgrampa

        You are probably right

      • george lastrapes

        Random thought, aimed at nobody in particular. The Rotwingers have weapons in their armamentarium weapons which it may behoove the Left to acquire: those big, hectoring bully-pulpeteers such as Rush, Bill, and Sean. If only the Left had a Big Bold Brainy Benevolent Bass-Baritone whose delivery would appeal to the bumpkin illiteriat while his content informs and entertains the rest of us.

    • Querolous

      Or Vidkun Quisling in downtown Oslo.

  • The Librarian

    Tucker is just a bleeding heart racist in a conservative suit. Like the video said, a nicer looking package than O’Reilly, who almost seems sane in comparison. Except those eyebrows. Are they glued on?

    • Ducksworthy

      With semen?

      • The Librarian

        And bile

        • Semen and bile? Sounds uncomfortably close to ‘Simone Biles’, and she should never been mentioned in the same context as Tucker Carlson.

          • george lastrapes

            Semen and bile- constituents of santorum, as I recall. Nice display of syllabophonic legerdemain, Mr. BBBB.

          • The Librarian

            100% agreed!!!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Tucker’s Thoughts.

    Irony is dead.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Nah, the poor thing is passed out over there in the corner, next to the pile of empty bourbon bottles. She’s had a really tough time lately.

  • Michael R
  • So Heard

    The confederacy were all traitors to America. Germany after WWII realized that the symbols of the LOSERS needed to be gone forever. America needs to take better notes.

  • george lastrapes

    This just in- Strumpet-in Chief Donald Trump has named as WH Communications Director his trusted aide Ho Pix. Now back to Tucker Quarrelsome. Wait, that’s Hope Hicks.

  • SadDemInTex

    For the record: The Southern Rebellion advocated for slavery (period). There are many newspapers and other public documents (pamphlets) from the 20 years leading up to the Civil War that pointed out that the Bible did not mention slavery as being just for Africans. They pointed out that slaves in the Bible are ALL hues and that the Southern agenda was about making the entire USA a slave holding country because the poor, illiterate European immigrants were “wage slaves” and they should just be made just plain slaves. And lest you think that was the hot air of a few extremists there is the case of the Senator who murdered the Irish waiter at the hotel where he wanted to have breakfast and the Irish waiter dared to tell him that he could not have it at that time. The Senator was, not only never charged, he was lionized throughout the south and it was not just the idea that the Irish were the lowest. They considered ALL poor immigrants the lowest. (Think about it…the Irish, Italian, Jewish populations who came were escaping from the grinding poverty and lack of education. Yes, even the Jewish population had a lot of illiteracy, especially those coming from the Russian pogroms. In fact, it doesn’t matter what population…they were not the rich and educated who were coming to this country! And there is no shame in that because they wanted a better life for their children.).
    If you look at Northern papers and other material there is a great deal of angst about “white slavery” (and they meant white slavery, not prostitution which is what it came to mean in the early 20th century) because of the threats of the South regarding the idea that anyone could and should be subjected to slavery.

    • Red Bird

      That’s scary.

    • Red Bird

      Also, that explains why race is such a big issue in the US. Because by making slavery limited to black people, other groups could avoid it by virtue of their race.

      • SadDemInTex

        Yep! You have no idea of the court cases that were done so groups could be declared “white”. The Armenian one is the one I point to the most. Armenians are darker hued than almost all African-Americans whose DNA melanin was consistently mixed.

        • Red Bird

          Oh do tell. Did you mean to say DNA melanin? Or was that supposed to say just DNA? Either way I get your point.

          • SadDemInTex

            I just wanted to make clear that DNA is just DNA and what color your skin/eyes/hair is comes from little switches (alleles) in the DNA structure.

          • Red Bird

            I understand

      • SadDemInTex

        This also has to do with the laws that were passed in 1690 about the “endogamous color line”. Frank W. Sweet wrote his dissertation on the color line. I recommend getting it on Kindleapp. “The Legal History of the Colorline: the rise and triumph of the one drop rule”.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Nuh uh!!1! The War of Northern Aggression was about states’ rights!

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Those damn Yankee states ignoring the Fugitive Slave Act!

      • 3FingerPete

        They’re takin’ our property!

        Said property being their slaves, of course.

    • 3FingerPete

      A few minutes of Googling brought up these bone-chilling tidbits.

      “Are not the evils of free society insufferable? ”

      “Free society! We sicken at the name. What is it but a conglomeration of greasy mechanics, filthy operatives, small-fisted farmers, and moonstruck theorists? All the Northern men, and especially the New England states, are devoid of society fitted for well-bred gentlemen.”

      https://books.google.com/books?id=QWhBAQAAMAAJ&pg=PA475&lpg=PA475&dq=senator+murder+irish+waiter&source=bl&ots=i2ew84EWXv&sig=9O_tWGYzHpllbyDfzkqnUTrjq0Q&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjB2LGOmdzVAhXryVQKHVSABg0Q6AEIKDAA#v=onepage&q=senator%20murder%20irish%20waiter&f=false

      • SadDemInTex

        Exactly!!! They actually hated democracy…just like the Rethugs today.

    • 3FingerPete

      By that way, that was Philip T. Herbert of California trying to get breakfast at DC’s Willard Hotel. He wanted a hot breakfast after a night of drinking. He was informed that at that hour he needed authorization from the hotel office. Herbert did not take that well and started beating waiter Thomas Keating. Other waiters started to intervene, at which point Herbert pulled his pistol and shot Keating.

      Thanks, Google.

  • Atheist

    “GO FUCK YOURSELF, TUCKER CARLSON, NONE OF THIS IS REMOTELY THE POINT, AND YOU FUCKING KNOW IT.”

    ^^^^^^^this!

  • Mavenmaven

    Plato, on the other hand, also was tolerant of gay rights, Tucker, so if you are going to use him, use him fully.

  • BearGHAZI

    If Tucker Carlson likes statues of Muhammad so much, why doesn’t he just MARRY a statue of Muhammad?

    • Fritz1964

      Can two statues marry each other? Crickey! And what if those statues are of the same gender? Gasp!

  • Weißwurst Supreme

    Huh, when people denounce racists they talk a lot about race… funny how that works… oh well, guess it makes anti-racists just as bad as the racists so we can go on being giant freaking bigots then.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      When you denounce racists you’re supposed to talk about kittens instead, silly. If not, YOUR TEH REAL RACISTSS!!111!

      • Just the other day, I was discussing the GOP plans to suppress the voting rights of kittens.

        • Fritz1964

          Kobach is convinced almost 2 million kittens voted for HRC!

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      It’s JUST LIKE how when Obama was black, people talked about him being black, so he was DIVISIVE!

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Jesus was always talking about sin. He must have been the real sinner.

    • thixotropic jerk

      Well he did have that sexxy times with Mary MAGAdalene plus all those lost years partying with the Essenes so yeah Jeeby C = Big Timey Sinner-face!

    • Jimh

      And he was Very Violent when he attacked the money lenders in the temple that time. They had a permit, also.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Very aggressive against Satan in the desert. Satan was just standing there quietly tempting him and he just ran at Satan with a stick!

  • Pookabun

    He doesn’t like that race is at the center of their worldview – so in other words he’s not actually upset that they are racist, just that they talk about it so much. So just dial it back a smidge and Tucker is on board, guys.

    • thixotropic jerk

      Thanks for that! I hate it when I make Ftucker (the t is silent) hate me so so much

  • Gee, guys, if people call Tucker a Nazi, he won’t get invited to the nice parties.

    • TakingAmes

      New York socialites know trash when they see it. Hence, 45’s constant need for affirmation from the Jew York Times.

    • Fritz1964

      Indeed. The Nice-zi parties. I know…thud.

  • pgjack

    Carlson knows who keeps pumping cash into his pockets and he ain’t about to stop the cash flow.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Am I missing something? Is there like a nuanced racist/nazi position I’m overlooking? Are there gradations of hatred republican’ts know about that I don’t? Is all this some kind of weird “80’s/Reagan thing that only insiders know about? Fuck! I am SO out of the hate loop these days.

  • Uncle Mark

    Tucker Carlson has always struck me as the little, whiny pantywaist, who throws rocks at others on the playground, and then runs crying to the nearest adult to protect him, because his target(s) are coming for him to pound him into pudding. It’s why he fits in so well with these weak losers, who only feel powerful when they form a gang or arm themselves. Without his network at his back, he would be too much the chickenshit to take the positions he takes.

    Whenever I hear his whiny, little voice, I am reminded of that delicious time Jon Stewart destroyed him on his own show (Crossfire) and got him cancelled. I have always hoped Jon would follow him everywhere to ruin his career, wherever he goes. In the meantime, enjoy watching Carlson being destroyed….

    http://youtu.be/aFQFB5YpDZE

  • Noxious Resistance

    Point out that racism is bad, and Nazi sympathizers point out that founding fathers owned slaves so what’s the big deal.
    As if the Civil War was a minor technicality.

    • Jimh

      Did you guys know? Slavery used to be totally legal and accepted and both sides did it!

      • thixotropic jerk

        It gets worse! Black African People From The Africas also; too owned slaves and even sold some to a European guy using that one weird trick!
        APPYPOLLYLOGEEZ ACCEPTED LIEBRUL RASEISTS!!!!!!11111!

    • puredog

      I think we may soon be referring to that as “The First Civil War.”

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      And World War II was a bit of a skirmish, no hard feelings, both sides did it.

    • President in Exile Firefly

      DEMONCARTS WERE THE PARTY OF SLAVERY AND KKK!!!!111!!! BOTH SIDES DO IT!!!

  • Trump ♡’s Nazis

    I have no problem with taking down monuments like Washington or Jefferson. Let’s be honest, they weren’t exactly lookers. I mean…come on. Who amongst can pull off a powdered wig?

    Besides, I’ve always thought we should update our money, like we do our stamps. But no presidents, I say we go cartoon. Is Pepe Le Pew too French for American money?

    • eggs ackly-wright

      Scrooge Mc Duck would be a shoo-in.

      • Jimh

        Mr. Burns – And change E Pluribus Unum to “I’d still rather have the dollar”

        • Fritz1964

          Doc Brown wins in my book.

  • Les Appentis De la résistance
    • george lastrapes

      We all knew a Tucker in high school- a bright guy convinced he was a GENIUS. Sad to say, he never got any smarter than that. Any others? Newt? Bill Kristol? Dinesh? Who am I leaving out, and why are they all rot-wingers?

  • Lyly Sirivong

    These are not thoughts, these are brain farts.

    • thixotropic jerk

      In defense of your typical “fart [which] is composed of about 59 percent nitrogen, 21 percent hydrogen, 9 percent carbon dioxide, 7 percent methane and 4 percent oxygen. Only about one percent of a fart contains hydrogen sulfide gas and mercaptans, which contain sulfur, and the sulfur is what makes farts stink”: FART LIBELZ111!!1! (With some details thrown in for our younger viewers so that they might larn sumpin’ cos school is almost back (sorry)

      • SomeBigRedDog

        I like to think about the researchers who studied this. I bet they had fun. Like I wonder if they slipped any fart puns into their research paper? Also, you know they were all about the whoopee cushions and pull my finger jokes.

      • britishvoiceman

        Presumably the hydrogen, oxygen and methane components are the reason you can light farts?

  • m3bosha

    I caught a little bit of this, watching him kills brain cells. But I didn’t flip over to Fox just to torture myself, shortly after the train wreck speech Trump gave I wanted to see if Fox would even be talking about it. When I first checked it out they were showing a “special report” about health insurance, about 10 minutes later when I checked again Fox had mysteriously gone off the air it was “currently unavailable”. Now I don’t know if it was a glitch with the cable, but I’d like to think the big wigs at Fox decided to pull the plug until they could figure out how to give their elderly viewers heart attacks.

    • JoeChristmas

      I used to listen to RW Radio before the election in the car just to see what they were up to. Haven’t listened once since. I have watched Föx twice since then and made it a total of maybe five minutes. It’s infuriating and sad.
      The other thing is I watched my brother become a Föx Zombie a few years ago. It catches some kind of synapse in their brains and next thing you know that are the walking brain dead.

      • Fritz1964

        The “walking dead” slinking around in debilitating fear and lots of Gold stock certificates. You know, after the cash collapse and before the Rapture!

  • Lefty Wright

    Let’s not forget that anti-war protesters are just as bad as war mongers, anti-violence demonstrators are just as bad as violence proponents, and people trying to prevent rape and sexual abuse are no better than abusers and rapists. The new right wing dictionary has no antonyms.

    • Fritz1964

      It’s the Fox Dictionary: “Fair and Balanced.” Filled with “alt-” words and “alternative facts” interspersed with “they do it too…”

  • Wookie Monster

    You know what’s ironic about Tucker’s remarks in the video? We probably are heading toward a fragmented America, but it’s not because of multiculturalism or immigration. It’s because white goober-Americans don’t want to be dragged kicking and screaming out of the 19th century.

    • Fritz1964

      They don’t want the browns to have what they have or, more precisely, to have what they don’t have.

    • Mazey

      Nah, it’s because of Obama.

      • pippinpippin

        And there are the emails! 33,000! Don’t forget those.

        • DeeeJaay

          Still waiting on the 22 MILLION Gee Dubya emails that are still lost for over a decade now…

    • george lastrapes

      We are becoming balkanized by electronic media.

  • JoeChristmas

    Go defend Nazi’s, you fuck!

  • x111e7thst

    The thing I don’t like about nazis is that they are nazis

    • La Cieca

      The second thing I don’t like about nazis is that they are Tucker Carlson fans.

      • Fritz1964

        They put the “Jerk” in “circle jerk,” don’t they?

        • george lastrapes

          Overachiever: one who comes in first AND third at a circlejerk.

      • britishvoiceman

        and Trump supporters

  • Fifth-and-a-Half Element
    • thixotropic jerk

      That’s fucking awesome!

  • ZyxSync Black
    • puredog

      ANIME PORN LIBELZ!

    • President in Exile Firefly

      Let those without sin cast the first stone.

  • quantum mechanic

    The thing Tucker Carlson hated about Nazi concentration camps was the lack of fashion diversity. He wouldn’t want to live in a world where everyone chose to wear striped pajamas and not a bow tie in sight. “I don’t want to live in a world where people like those jewesses made such poor fashion choices. Ick.”

    • CripesAmighty

      Why, there’s no place for a pocket square. How gauche.

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        And they have PLENTY of room for those gaudy yellow stars, so what’s the PROBLEM?

  • thixotropic jerk

    As part of my lefty racisty reverse triple double pro ironic slaveryism I am going to use my egg money to put up Muhammad statues all over and then protest all protestors who want the statues to stay up or come down because I am the Tucker Fuckface King of Made Up Bullshit False Equivalency Rodentia Coitus.

    • phoenix00

      > Rodentia Coitus

      ISWYDT

  • Manhattan123

    How did he get away with that bold “Slavery is evil” graphic at Fox? It truly is a new day there.

    • Fritz1964

      I think they stole it from Alan Colmes’s thumb drive…

  • Poly_Ester

    WYSIWYG, Tucker

  • Justme

    There’s a statue of Muhammed at the Supreme Court. Well, it’s more of a frieze.

    • You should ice that burn

      Hmmm, I guess they didn’t check with any Muslims, images of the prophet aren’t permitted.

      • britishvoiceman

        You’re both correct.

      • Justme

        I don’t think they did. It was made in 1935, as part of a larger relief of 18 famous law givers. CAIR complained about it in 1997, but Rehnquist said basically, “Sorry, it’s staying.”

        As far as images of the Prophet not being permitted in Islam, that’s not entirely true. Worshiping Muhammed isn’t permitted, and there are hadith that say that you shouldn’t depict him, but, for instance, some Shia jurists say that it’s allowed, and I know you can buy devotional pictures of both Muhammed and Ali in Qom, and historically, there have been a lot of depictions of Muhammed in Persian and Turkish art.

        • You should ice that burn

          Interesting, I’m no scholar, I was going on reporting over various recent historical events, such as Charlie Hebdo, where the images were singled out as particularly blasphemous.

          • Justme

            Well, there certainly are branches and schools within Islam that do ban depictions of Muhammed, Of course, the Charlie Hebdo shooters were from an Al Qaeda offshoot, and Al Qaeda is known for its religious absolutism . It’s a little bit like saying, “Jew aren’t permitted to drive on the Sabbath.” There certainly are large groups of Jews who believe that it’s forbidden to drive on the Sabbath, but there are others who do it and are perfectly fine with it

            Of course, with the Charlie Hebdo thing, that wasn’t just pictures of Muhammed. It was satirical pictures of Muhammed. Even those Muslim groups who are ok with images of Muhammed aren’t ok with pictures making fun of Muhammed. That crosses the line into blasphemy.

  • puredog

    “GO FUCK YOURSELF, TUCKER CARLSON, NONE OF THIS IS REMOTELY THE POINT, AND YOU FUCKING KNOW IT.”
    This gives Tucker Carlson far too much credit for what he is capable of “knowing.”

  • diogenez

    “…which would suggest that if he had been in Charlottesville, he’d have felt fairly at home holding a tiki torch.”

    I’m pretty sure that Tucker was born wearing a polo shirt.

  • Fritz1964

    Of course BLM and the good-fighters raging against the white-supremacist bigots amounts to “slurring white people.” Racist whites are complicit in the historical and current crimes against people of color. Slurring these losers is just and necessary – and arguably is too good for them.

  • Raan

    Allow me once again to quote from Transmetropolitan.

    “It was George Washington who said that God should not be subtracted from politics. Who are we to argue with George Washington?”
    “The product of several hundred years of evolution since George Washington’s tree-killing ass went in the dirt, the obvious answer. […] The Beast, who The Smiler ousted and now lives in hate-ridden retirement was an authentic monster. But he was​ a little monster, a malleable and predictable monster, a monster we could handle. A monster we could live through.”

  • susan_g

    Please make sure that the tiki torch is lit before you fuck yourself with it, Tuck.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Fucking treasonous nazi.

  • Zyxomma

    No. Just no. I can’t watch the video of someone who got his start in “journalism” writing right wing crap for NY Press, which I read only for the Tony Millionaire comics (Drinky Crow was my favorite).

    • Raan

      I never saw the comics, but I liked the Adult Swim series.

  • ZyxSync Black
  • Flashman

    One of the things I don’t like about some of these white supremacist groups is that race is at the center of their world view, and I don’t want to live in a world where race is at the center of the worldview.

    Now there’s a distinction I hadn’t thought of before: tiresome old racist Nazis versus the ones who just want to invade Poland and stuff.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      See? MANY SIDES!

  • Mazey

    LOL this site is great! You can’t write a headline without saying FUCK!

    • Sure they can! Sometimes they use hoofwanking bunglecut or no dicked nazi shitweazle instead :D

      • Mazey

        FUCK, or NAZI, FUCK or NAZI. Can’t write a headline without FUCK or NAZI lol

        • amrak63

          Consider yourself blocked, Ratzi.

          http://i.imgur.com/5tRl187.jpg

        • Professor Fate

          Well as Mark Twain noted: Under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances,
          profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
          Dealing with fucking Nazis is one of them.

          • Mazey

            There is like a handful of them in America man. And nobody likes them or validates them or pays them any mind. They are about problem number 2,997,973 on the list.

          • Professor Fate

            Except the President and that is the real problem.

          • Mazey

            Nobody called Trump a racist until he became an enemy of the fascist left.

          • jesterpunk

            Really? Trump was sued for racist housing policies in the 70’s, he was called a racist for his comments on the central park 5 which he still believes they are guilty. He was called a racist for his years of birther tweets.

            https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/trump-and-race-decades-of-fueling-divisions/2017/08/16/5fb3cd7c-8296-11e7-b359-15a3617c767b_story.html?utm_term=.1a6f7f640f3b

          • Sarah E. Grove

            And don’t forget the racist platform he used to ride his way into politics. He was the chief racist “birther” — I need to go to YouTube to find President Obama’s speech at the 2011 WH Correspondents Dinner. It always makes me laugh and feel better.

            God! We miss having a fucking ADULT in our White House!

          • Professor Fate

            no. he’s been called a racist since the 70’s.

          • Mazey

            No, he hasn’t. You are lying.

          • Professor Fate

            Why on earth would I lie about something as easily checkable as this? Think about it.
            The record shows Trump was sued back in 1973 for violations of the fair Housing Act, specifically for refusing to rent to blacks. And his public trail since then has been dogged with accusations of racism; His actions re The Central Park Five, other incidents involving his casinos for example.
            But I’m sure you’ll come up with some other reason to say I’m wrong considering you believe in something called the Fascist left so i’ll just let you juice in your own stew.

          • Sarah E. Grove

            Nope. No lie at all. You haven’t done your homework on Trump’s entire history. Either that, or you’re just another racist fuckwit like your idol Trump. Stop lying.

          • Mazey

            Bitch, he won awards for helping black folks. Bitch, he has been lauded by the leaders of the black community before. Bitch, fuck off liar.

          • Sarah E. Grove

            Awww. What in incredibly “thoughtful” response! LMAO You, sir, are dumber than a fucking rock.

          • Akat

            So, he became an enemy of the fascist left in the 60’s. got it.

          • brittany

            There is like a handful of them in America man. And nobody likes them or validates them or pays them any mind….

            It’s not like they’re roaming the streets in mobs carrying torches.

            Or showing up in the thousands with makeshift shields, helmets and batons looking like some sort of dystopian LARPfest gone wrong.

            It’s not like they have their own, fully armed militias.

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            or advocating for an ethnic state or genocide.

            Yeaah, we can totally ignore that.
            /eyeroll

          • george lastrapes

            Profanity is the last and desperate rhetorical refuge of the inarticulate motherfucker.

          • spacecat in space

            Swearengen? That you?

          • george lastrapes

            Not me, but I do like the name. If I ever meet him I’ll buy him a beer at the Men’s Swearhouse.

          • spacecat in space
          • george lastrapes

            I upvoted you, so cheer up- I’ll buy you a beer, too.

          • spacecat in space

            Upvoted for beer.

          • george lastrapes

            A great favorite of mine, ‘Deadwood’. I so hope they make a reunion-finale, as has been rumored. It sorta trailed off at the end…… kinda like this sentence. Like an unfinished symphony if blood and profanity.

          • spacecat in space

            I keep hearing about the damned movie, but nothing’s happening. I really wanted them to make it before my mom died, because it’s her all-time favorite show and she references Swearengen all of the time (while somehow avoiding using the word cocksucker), but they’re dragging their feet too much, damn them.

    • President in Exile Firefly

      Nobody can with Trump in the White House.

      • SeeTrain65

        I could put up the “This Asshole Again” bunny for this jackass if I hadn’t blocked him after the first ignorant thing out of his wretched mouth.

  • Mazey

    I’m not sure if I should laugh at you idiots or be very scared you are growing in idiotic numbers

  • amrak63

    Why bother engaging Crazy Mazey? Just block him.

    • Dazza

      Excellent advice. I shall do so at once.

    • RiSheil

      I’ve read that these guys (if they’re human) are paid by the reply. If they can’t engage anyone, they lose.

  • ZyxSync Black
    • phoenix00

      Tucker fucking Hannity is a whole network full of NOPE

  • Rotting Tree
  • Ken Wagon

    What a Cucker Tarlson.

    • phoenix00

      A Fucker Snarlson too!

  • pippinpippin

    Some Trump apologist was on AC360 and said, “But there were protesters yelling Black Lives Matter,” and Anderson Cooper said very drily, “How could they.”
    His point was– really. Someone saying, “My life matters” is wrong, and it’s as bad as someone saying, “Your life DOESn’T matter.”
    In these people’s head, disagreeing with them, or asserting your own right to just exist, is an assault like, you know, hitting people with a torch, or driving a car at them.

    • laineypc

      Drives me crazy. If they would stop and think for two seconds, they would understand what BLM means, but it’s too scary contemplate your privilege. It’s really not so far from white supremacy, really. More and more I believe that failure to acknowledge ongoing racial injustice is almost as bad as white nationalism.

  • CATMAN

    Hey, DumbfuckerTucker, the Aztecs also did human sacrifice also, so would you use that a justification for the human sacrifice of that woman in Charlottsville–just askin’

    • amrak63

      Don’t give Fucker Carlson any ideas.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Well, a Carlsonite just performed human-sacrifice-by-car in Charlottesville as inspired by The Daily Caller.

      As there are no public statues of Tucker Carlson, apparently because of a critical shortage of brass, there isn’t much we can do about it.

      • CATMAN

        Only the balls of the Tucker statue should be brass–the rest would be lead

        • John Hanley

          And the balls would be adorned with a jaunty little bow tie.

    • Keith Taylor

      The Aztecs did human sacrifice on such a massive scale that they were always having to fight wars against the weaker tribes around them, to get enough victims for the sacrificial altars atop the temple-pyramids at the centre of their cities. Why? Because they believed those sacrifices were necessary to keep the Sun alive and giving light and warmth; that without them the Sun would die and the Earth would perish. No, that’s wrong. They didn’t believe it. They knew it.
      The rulers and priests were sure of it, and even more horrible, the victims were sure of it, and had been told from infancy that those sacrificed to the Sun would go to the wondrous Paradise of the Sun and live there in bliss. A lot of them, perhaps most, went willingly, because they bought this load of garbage.
      Now because of the separation of Church and State, one of the best political ideas anybody ever had, someone could start a church that worships the Aztec deities today, and preach that thing about sacrifice to the Sun being necessary, and even claim it was scientific fact. But he might not actually offer such sacrifices, even of willing victims who believed, because under secular law that is murder, no matter what you believe or how sincerely.
      Religious beliefs of any kind are not a crime in the U.S. — or Australia either. And they cannot, ever, be used to justify a crime.
      Separation of church and state. No matter what fundamentalists say, that is one of the basic pillars of the American way of life they are so enthusiastic about, and it’s the very thing they want to do away with. First Amendment.
      Have they ever even READ their own Constitution?

  • “W. Montgomery Watt points out that Muhammad’s expansion of Pax Islamica to the Arabian peninsula reduced warfare and raiding, and therefore cut off the sources of enslaving freemen. According to Patrick Manning, the Islamic legislations against the abuse of the slaves convincingly limited the extent of enslavement in Arabian peninsula and to a lesser degree for the whole area of the whole Umayyad Caliphate where slavery existed since the most ancient times.”

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_slavery_in_the_Muslim_world#Early_Islamic_history

    • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

      nice find!

    • President in Exile Firefly

      Yeah, well, that’s like, your opinion, man.

  • BuzzKill48

    It’s not an act folks, Tucker Carlson really is that fucking stupid. Of course, he works for FOX, so being a dumb fuck is a requirement.

    • britishvoiceman

      Some on Fox are actually quite intelligent but playing dumb for their audience; Tucker is the real thing.

  • Sakonyachen

    “before we know it, those evil leftists (the real racists) are going to demand we take down statues of George Washington and Thomas Jefferson.”

    SAKONYACHEN LIBULZZZ!!!11!!

    Also too, too late Tucker. We already demand that.

  • phoenix00

    Tucker Carlson is just a massive douchehole who happens to be a white supremacist on a white supremacist TV network.

    • Invidosa

      Makes one wonder what the hiring process looks like at fuck stick “news”

      • phoenix00

        Three very simple criteria:
        1) are you stupid and incompetent?
        2) are you willing to be willfully ignorant of the entire world?
        3) do you have gorgeous legs?

        Pick 2.

  • Jesse

    Tucker Carlson is just a leaky bucket full of used diapers.

  • nick kelly

    Tucker has to be the only guy on TV who listens with his mouth open. Just watch. I don’t know if its intentional (like, your opinion is jaw dropping) or just a habit.
    But it sure looks dumb.

    • Boojum

      Mouth breathing is not pretty.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    I can’t believe we’re debating slavery in 2017. We should be flying around in our jet packs on Mars and seducing hot aliens, not this shit.

  • mardam422

    Thought experiment. Let’s say for the sake of argument, that I’m a good person. You know, like the ones Trumpy says were on both sides. I show up at a rally. Everyone there is chanting racist slogans, giving the Hitler salute and generally being angry. What do I say to myself, you know, as a good person?
    A) Yes, these are obviously good people too, and just want to preserve Southern history and heritage.
    B) Ehhh, maybe I should just go over to the Waffle House and get a short stack instead.

    • Boojum

      C) Where is my stick?

  • Ranina

    Tucker, you had more credibility when you wore bow ties and your hair wasn’t so Grecian-looking.

  • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

    Mohammed owned slaves because Islam is evil! As we all know, no one from the Old Testament owned slaves, did they?

  • Boojum

    Yeah, race is at the center of the worldview of people on the left because they carry signs attacking white supremacy. Tucker, white SUPREMACY is not a race. It’s a fucked up NAZI ethos, that people should be attacking. I’m actually quite OK if people do it with emphasis, even if they need to hammer the point home forcefully.

    My grandfather did it in World War II. Tens of millions of people around the world died for the privilege of attacking Nazis, with all kinds of fun toys. We have erected quite uncontroversial statues in honor of those people. No one wants to tear down those statues, because using violence against Nazis is sometimes the only choice.

    So, Tucker, fuck off quietly, please. Your pitifully stupid bow tied manbaby whine is making my head hurt.

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