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Pour one out for the bigots in the Lone Star State! Yesterday, their Show Us Your Junk bathroom bill died in committee, and a federal court threw out two of their congressional districts for discriminating against TexMexicans. How’s a Texas bigot supposed to survive in the face of so much reverse racism? Sad!

Texas Governor Greg Abbot called the legislature back for a 30-day special session that started July 18. Abbot’s priority was a bill to reduce local property taxes, which also crashed and burned. But Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick led the pitchfork brigade against transgender Texans.

Dan Patrick, the manliest man in all of Texas!

Patrick’s rallying cry: ‘Tis a far better thing that a thousand transgender kids get beaten and assaulted than to have one of our precious daughters feel a little uncomfortable for a few days until she gets used to peeing next to someone who was born with a weiner.

Okay, not really. He and the God Botherer Coalition vomited out some hateful nonsense about men in dresses victimizing girls, ignoring the fact that 12% of trans people have been harassed, attacked, or assaulted in a restroom in the past year.

The Texas Senate looked at that data and said, NEEDZ MOAR HATE CRIMES! So they passed the Show Us Your Junk Law, requiring people to use the bathroom corresponding to the gender on their birth certificates. Because nothing could go wrong in an open-carry state with bigots demanding to spot-check a transgender person’s birth certificate against his/her pink bits!

And as strange as it feels to be typing this, Big Business rode in to the rescue! After 51 Fortune 500 companies, 20 of which are headquartered in Texas, came out against the bill, it died in the Texas House. Per Dallas Morning News,

Rep. Byron Cook listened to hundreds of [individuals opposed to the bill]. But the outcry from industry was the game changer, he said.

“What has changed is the business community has weighed in publicly,” Cook, R-Corsicana, said. “That’s a huge difference.”

As chairman of the State Affairs Committee, Cook decides whether the bathroom bill lives or dies. On Tuesday, he told The News it’s “unlikely” the legislation will get a hearing before the special session ends next week, all but guaranteeing its demise.

The Show Us Your Junk for Jesus Coalition yammered on about “Daughters over Dollars,” but the Texas House ended up siding with the IRL dollars over the wingnut fantasyland daughters. And God Bless ‘Em for it!

Graphic by The Dallas Morning News

And speaking of people to keep away from your daughters…

Guess whose Corpus Christi district was ruled unconstitutionally discriminatory! Why it’s our old friend Blake Farenthold, who DOES NOT have wet dreams about that redheaded staffer he fired, and who is very sorry for threatening to shoot Susan Collins for not murdering Obamacare. And who left the house in footie pajamas with ducks on them and let someone take his photo, FFS!

Republican Congressman Lloyd Doggett’s district was also ruled unconstitutional. But he is a boring white dude who never leaves the house in his jammies or asks female staffers if they have semen on their dresses. He does preside over a district which was specifically drawn to “crack” the minority vote in Austin, though! So he is also BAD! ETA: And wonderful reader Panika McD has rightly schooled us that he is a Democrat, and it isn’t his fault that Republicans can’t get rid of him so they jam all the minorities into his district!

Attorney General Ken Paxton has vowed to appeal to the Supreme Court on grounds that two of the judges are named Garcia and Rodriguez, and only one of them is called Smith like a normal person. But Texas has been dragging this case out forever, so the Court has ordered them to start redrawing the district maps by September 5, 2017. We’ll have to wait and see whether the Circuit Court stays the order to redraw the map, or lets them use it again for the 2018 election cycle. It would be a goddamn shame if Texas had to redraw Congressman Footie Pajama’s district and the Messicans voted him out!

[Dallas Morning News / Dallas Morning News, again / Texas Tribune]

Look, Wonkers! We found a nicetimes story during the Dark Ages of Trump! Drop a coin in the till, maybe we can scare up another nice story!

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  • BadKitty904
    • Villago Delenda Est

      One problem with American Nazis is that they didn’t get the memo on the great Hugo Boss uniforms!

  • schmannity

    Dan Patrick looks a lot like Nathan Lane.

    • BadKitty904

      But with less sense or talent.

      • schmannity

        Or humanity.

        • Fancy Meau-Faux

          That plaid shirt alone is a crime against humanity and fashion.

          • birdbrain53

            It’s a tartan, as explained previously. But still. Ewww.

          • Fancy Meau-Faux

            I’d give it a pass if he was wearing it as a kilt. As a shirt it is awful.

    • ArgieBargie

      “Dan Patrick looks a lot like Nathan Lane‘s grandmother.”

      There, FIFY.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Doing a very bad impression of the mudflap girl.

    • Me not sure

      Nathan Lane would NEVER wear that fucking shirt, even if he knew where in hell to even buy one.

    • Oblios_Cap

      They’re birds of a feather.

    • MrTusks

      Dan Patrick looks like Lesbian Sean Hannity.

  • Indiepalin

    Next move for the Texas GOP: redistrict all those pesky Latinos into Oklahoma and see how they like them apples.

    • BadKitty904

      Then who would do all of Texas’ work? Texas Republicans?

      • Permit-holder Ron

        Republicans? WORK? For shame, madam!

        • BadKitty904

          IKR? Blue state revenues/taxes continue to support their worthless asses…

          (And “sir,” actually, but still…)

          • Permit-holder Ron

            eep… I keep getting that wrong…

          • BadKitty904

            Happily, I’m not remotely genderist. (Plus I think it’s pretty funny) ;0)

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Dan Patrick looks like a preggers trans…

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    I just read that Dan Patrick is actually from Maryland. Why is Texas always putting yankees in charge?

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Never get tired of that photo. Blake Farenthold looks like the poster boy for registered sex offender laws.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Let’s vote on where he should pee.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Way….over….there

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Outside of our galaxy gets my vote.

      • Me not sure

        Other than in his jammies?

        • Beanz&Berryz

          That’s be my vote. The best use for his footie PJs. And with that sloshing when he walks he couldn’t sneak up on anyone.

    • Yeah, kind of screams, “Do not leave your drink unattended with this man.”

    • timpundit

      Or adult-baby fetishes.

      • Permit-holder Ron

        The ABs I know also find him reprehensible.

    • birdbrain53

      I just KNOW that the girl beside him is thinking “they didn’t pay me enough for this”.

    • Shibusa

      I guess we should be thankful that Blake doesn’t sleep naked.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Application of large doses of brain bleach now required.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Not to be unkind, but Blake Farenthold is still creepy as hell… Maybe he and Dan Patrick are dating?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      There is no “unkind” when one is discussing Blake Farenthold.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        True.. I was just trying to mirror Sen. Collins’ preface to her mild rip on him…

    • FlownΩver

      “And speaking of people to keep away from your daughters…”

      Daughters who are not vision-impaired will handle this themselves, thankyouverymuch.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Yes. With their words, or otherwise, except for those who are paid to be there…

  • Look, Christianists, you can’t ask a GOP politicians to choose between Yahweh and Mammon when Yahweh doesn’t pay for campaign ads.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    That’s right, *edit* Blake is who Sebastian Gorka really means every time he says “pajama boy”.

    *edit Sorry, all racists look the same to me. I’ll just call them all Brad from now on to avoid confusion.

  • Me not sure

    Dan Patrick, the sports guy, should be allowed to sue this guy for just existing.
    P.S. I honestly think that the girl in that picture has stricken that pose many, many, many…. times before

  • Villago Delenda Est

    If you’re looking for deplorables, it seems Texass is overrun with them.

    • foiled again

      As are the other 49.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        No argument here. We find them in pockets even in deep blue Oregon.

        • foiled again

          Oh, make no mistake, feedlots are maintained for them here.

    • Panika MCD

      why hasn’t FL managed to cancel its deplorable parade set for 9/12? TX got the one for A&M for 9/11 cancelled….

    • Permit-holder Ron

      Since at least 1520.

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Is Patrick signaling to males in the group that he is ready to be mounted?

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Well, they still did manage to get some pernicious stuff passed that will probably be tied up in court for a while – like forcing women to get separate insurance, and pay a separate premium, to get coverage for abortion outside of “life-threatening emergencies” (and no, rape, incest or fatal birth defects are not considered “life-threatening emergencies”).

  • La forza del resistino

    Gov Abbott wanted to make a last stand at the Alamo but forgot he defunded handicap access maintenance 2 years ago.

    • BadKitty904

      Now he’s looking for the basement…

    • Panika MCD

      he never forgets to make things accessible to himself while ensuring public entrances are not ADA compliant.

      • foiled again

        He’s like Dr. Strangelove but without the likeability.

        • Panika MCD

          Pancake is the most likeable Abbott.

          • foiled again

            Abbot is the Roy Cohn of handicapped people.

          • Panika MCD

            Pancake is the golden retriever of Abbotts.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    And speaking of people to keep away from your daughters…

    That photo again…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/68e9d7043eaf545f1f9d5804e4031c0781c305d95a8815473ff93a28270cf27c.jpg

  • BadKitty904

    Texas has a whore House in it…

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Best little one?

      • BadKitty904

        Lord have mercy on our souls!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        One of them must be.

    • Rick Hill

      But, I have it on good authority, Debbie did not, in fact, do Dallas

    • Panika MCD

      we also have a snake farm.

      • Werewolf

        So does BadKitty’s hometown of St. Augustine. Well, gators and snakes.

  • foiled again

    Wow, that Fahrenholdt guy looks like one of the Banana Splits after a depilatory bath.

    • BadKitty904
      • DerrickWildcat

        I met those guys when I was a little kid. The Hair Bear Bunch was with them.

        • Oblios_Cap

          What an amazing bush with greatness!

          • DerrickWildcat

            I’ve lived a lush life.

          • foiled again

            I once shook hands with Johnny Whittaker- ‘Jody’ on Family Affair and Ken Curtis- ‘Festus’ on Gunsmoke at a Cystic Fibrosis telethon in, what, ’69. Bathed in glory, that’s me.

            Jody was very, very pink, but nice. Festus was Festus-y.

          • DerrickWildcat

            Johnny went on to a fantastic career in, “Sigmund and the Sea Monsters.”

      • The Wanderer

        Oh, fine! Now I’ll have nightmares again.

        • BadKitty904

          And try getting that damned tune out of your head…

          • The Wanderer

            I’ll counteract it with Beep Beep I’m a Sheep.

          • BadKitty904

            The Song That Never Ends is also an antidote. Sort’ve.

          • The Wanderer
          • BadKitty904

            What the…

          • The Wanderer

            (manic grin)

      • foiled again

        I rest my case.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        This was during Mickey Dolenz’s furry phase, which coincided with his LSD phase?

        • BadKitty904

          Apparently.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      He’s a ‘pajama boy’. Don’t tell him Gorka said his time is over.

  • jesterpunk

    Remember more republicans have been arrested for sexual assault in bathrooms then trans people (0).

    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/progressivesecularhumanist/2016/04/more-gop-lawmakers-arrested-for-sexual-misconduct-in-bathrooms-than-trans-people/

    And the GOP Nazi leader bragged about walking into Miss Teen USA locker rooms to see them when they where naked.

    • beingreleased

      If all fairness, he only bragged about walking into Miss Universe changing rooms. It was Miss Teen contestants who said he went into their changing room. Ivanka’s response (I believe she was a teenager at the time): “Yeah, he does that.”

      • jesterpunk

        Oh right the Miss Teen USA thing was even creepier then the Miss Universe thing. This applied to both of the pageants.

        http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/features/timeline-of-trumps-creepiness-while-he-owned-miss-universe-w444634

        Dixon went on to say that employees of the Miss Universe Organization encouraged the contestants to lavish Trump with attention when he came in. “To have the owner come waltzing in, when we’re naked, or half-naked, in a very physically vulnerable position and then to have the pressure of the people that worked for him telling us to go fawn all over him, go walk up to him, talk to him, get his attention…”

        The Trump campaign did not offer a response to either story, but in a 2005 appearance on Howard Stern’s show, Trump bragged about doing exactly what the women describe. “I’ll go backstage before a show, and everyone’s getting dressed and ready and everything else,” he said.

        His position as the pageant’s owner entitled him to that kind of access, Trump explained, seemingly aware that what he was doing made the women uncomfortable. “You know, no men are anywhere. And I’m allowed to go in because I’m the owner of the pageant. And therefore I’m inspecting it… Is everyone OK? You know, they’re standing there with no clothes. And you see these incredible-looking women. And so I sort of get away with things like that,” he said.

  • chascates

    One of the comments from a Texas pol was “this isn’t about transgender, it’s about a grown man showering with your 10-year-old daughter” or some such bullshit.
    Uh, there actually are laws against that and trans rights have nothing to do with sexual predators.

    • The Wanderer

      It does sorta-kinda appear as if the TX legislators are trying to deflect attention away from something they actually do.

      • Ricky Gay

        Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just projecting?

        • The Wanderer

          Projecting? No.
          Protruding?
          . . .
          . . .
          Maybe.

      • Panika MCD

        TX Senators, please. okay, the Freedumb Cacas probably do it also too, but there’s only 12 of them in the House and one is Bill Wyman.

    • Thiazin Red

      All these laws basically really seem to be saying that strait cis men are all predators who can’t be trusted to be around anyone. We can’t allow trans people basic dignity because strait cis men will take advantage of the opportunity to assault women and girls.

      • The Wanderer

        Well, yes. It was one of the arguments the Church had for allowing prostitution and brothels – men are too excitable and randy, so we have to give them an outlet or respectable women won’t be safe.

        • Thiazin Red

          I would like for someone to raise that on the floor. Offer a counter proposal that since we can’t trust cis men to behave in public, we should be restricting their behavior. Maybe they shouldn’t be allowed unaccompanied or should be monitored via ankle bracelet at all times.

    • Panika MCD

      that was said by more than one person, but it’s a Mucus line.

    • MrTusks

      To be honest, I don’t think I’m comfortable telling my 10-year-old child to go get naked in a public bathroom without proper supervision no matter who else is in there.

  • Ricky Gay
  • Oblios_Cap

    “What has changed is the business community has weighed in publicly,” Cook, R-Corsicana, said. “That’s a huge difference.”

    Because corporate cash always trumps the need to represent your constituents!

  • DesertedPictures

    At what kind of weird pyama party was that picture taken? Poor woman…

    • DerrickWildcat

      Pretty sure she was paid to be there with that goblin.

      • DesertedPictures

        Still: poor woman. Seems like a shitty job.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      That gap between his front teeth is….unfortunate. It can be cute and charming but not a good look for him.

  • Alan

    I thought the chubby guy in jammies with the stripper was a joke.

  • BadKitty904

    Just ’cause it’s such a great song:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgrEXr_TZPY

    • chortlingdingo

      That’s my favorite!

      • BadKitty904

        Friends, I’d like to thank you for that warm and sincere Christian welcome…”

        ~ The Governor of Texas

  • Oblios_Cap

    Why didn’t Abbot stand up for his bill?

    • The Wanderer

      His corporate donors probably called him and said, “Nice campaign we’re bankrolling . . . shame if anything *happened* to it.”

    • Panika MCD

      that’s a bit of a low blow.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Kinda. But we’re talking about Abbot here.

        • Panika MCD

          Gov. Wheels, please. (he runs over all the toes.)

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Because he was on third base?

      • Permit-holder Ron

        I don’t give a darn!

  • Msgr_MΩment

    If this brings us a step closer to mixed-gender urinals, I have no problem with that.

    • The Wanderer

      I see nothing wrong with it, personally.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        I draw the line at sinks, because cooties.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Just like Ally McBeal!

    • La forza del resistino

      CBS’s 2 Broke Girls had a bit about paper female urinary funnels (why not?). All I remember was the possible paper cut disclaimer.

      • The Wanderer

        Top Gear UK profiled a bit of plastic funnel and a collection bag known as the She Wee.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    OT, but breaking in the NYT:

    Trump’s Council of C.E.O.s in Disarray Following Remarks on Protest

    President Trump’s main council of top corporate leaders appeared on the verge of disbanding on Wednesday, said people briefed on the matter, following controversial remarks from Mr. Trump on Tuesday when he equated white nationalist hate groups with the protesters opposing them.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9843ef293afb3c8ee86608eb5278b58344503dae679fd5169e7221e979befccd.png

    • La forza del resistino

      Character is measured when a multi millionaire cabinet member can walk away from a $175k salary.

  • DerrickWildcat
  • beingreleased

    I watched Starship Troopers the other day. The future seems to involve mixed-sex showers.

    • The Wanderer

      I approve of this.

    • Oblios_Cap

      That’s a future I’ll be all wrinkly in.

      • HogeyeGrex

        Most of you, anyway.

    • Alan

      Already have those in my house.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Sadly, it was segregated by Fat Chick or not.

    • proudgrampa

      I would be delighted to sign that petition.

    • Master Contrail Program

      I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW MORE.

      • beingreleased

        I’d add a screenshot, but NSFW.

        • Master Contrail Program

          Not Safe For Wonkette? That’s quite the screenshot.

        • proudgrampa
          • Me not sure

            I was never quite sure what kept the arachnid from just shanking the bastard from between the prison bars.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        I’m doing my part!

    • BadKitty904

      So did my college. Yet here I am to tell the tale…

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Dear Alumni Magazine Forum,…..

    • Me not sure

      Sex or gender? Either way I’d say hot showers! And then the bugs come.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I would request that a large warning sign, “Caution: Extreme Shrinkage” be posted outside.

      Update: for a friend, obvs.

  • Panika MCD

    a) the bathroom bill was dead weeks ago. the really funny thing Cook did was have an “I’m not even supposed to be here today” and accidentally brought the bill banning local governments from contracting with abortion affiliates up for a vote. he then made up for it by losing the paperwork he was supposed to get to the Calendars Committee.

    b) and fuck you for calling Lloyd Doggett both bad and boring. Doggett is awesome and a lot of the gerrymandering is an effort to oust him. he’s represented many parts of TX because of this gerrymandering and won every single time. his current district was an effort to get a San Antonio Democrat to primary him–which Joaquin Castro was trying until another seat opened up. maybe if you weren’t so interested in slamming TX you would have found time to look up Doggett.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Well, Doggett all!

      • Panika MCD

        he only sleeps 4 hours a night.

    • BosGrl

      I hope you get some Panika time after next week! We love you and are grateful for your insights.

      • Panika MCD

        they’re adjourned for now. but we’re fully expecting another on redistricting and the dumb property tax bill.

        • BosGrl

          Well, thank you for your hard work.

    • blaid droog

      I think taxes should be slammed by the hurricane of the century and the feds should refuse to pony up any cash to help ya’all recover.

      • Panika MCD

        they could just pay us back that $1.6B we put into border security. so far, they’ve only come up with $2.3M.

        • blaid droog

          The liberal parts of the country didn’t ask for “The wall”. Ur state wants it, u pay for it. I don’t concern myself with so called border security.

          • Panika MCD

            we really don’t want it. talk to someone on the border–they definitely don’t want it and are prepared to fight it. and the “border security” efforts take law enforcement out of communities that need their assistance while also decimating the Texas Parks & Wildlife Department budget because 80 of their park rangers are down there rather than collecting fees for permits and fines for failure to have permits which is most of the department’s budget. we love our parks. it’s not a partisan thing. even John Cornyn has spoken out about the proposal to build in wildlife refuges.

    • Fivedollarfeminist

      You’re right! I am sorry.

    • PubOption

      Does he wear a coat and badge?
      http://www.doggettsrace.org.uk/about-the-race/

      • Panika MCD

        no, but he doesn’t sleep much either.

    • blaid droog

      I never heard of blue doggett before an hour ago. I looked at his website. He sounds like a typical don’t rock the boat democrat. Blah. A line from Evita. The art of the possible. “When risk is slight, one takes one’s stand. With much sleight of hand. Politics- the art of the possible”. Makes me think of my repub-light senator bill nelson. Nelson voted against gorsuck for supreme court,but he voted for him when shrub nominated him to be a fed judge. So nelson carries a certain responsibility for his being on the court.

      • Panika MCD

        until you filibuster something for 15 hours, you might not want to condemn those who have. he’s not a “don’t rock the boat” Democrat. and he has the best constituent services of anyone out there. here’s him in March saying, “fuck your big pharma bullshit.”

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETtyvimHO50

        does Nelson ever do anything like that? no. so don’t try to make the comparison.

        • blaid droog

          Well I did make the comparison didn’t I. Nelson is a useless sack of shit. I don’t have any use for him. I don’t see or hear blue doggett standing up condemning 45. He’s missing a set of testicles. Words are cheap. Taxes can leave the union and the rest of us will never miss it. Just sayin.

          • Panika MCD

            you tried to describe Doggett without knowing him and then said, “Makes me think of my repub-light senator bill nelson.” that’s a comparison and you did make it. you could just say you’re sorry for doing so instead of trying to back it up. and you would miss Texas–though maybe not taxes–but you have a knee jerk reaction to us so you haven’t bothered to find out what we have that you’d like. thanks for playing. I’m not wild about Floriduh either.

          • blaid droog

            For me, baiting fools is recreational. Taxes is on par with Florida when it comes to electing dumb fuck idiots. U got rick perry we got Nosferatu.

          • Panika MCD

            a) we all have Rick Perry now.

            b) you’re not baiting a fool, you’re just being an asshole.

          • blaid droog

            There are those who tell me I have refined assholery into art.

  • Joe Beese

    President Trump’s main council of top corporate leaders appeared on the verge of disbanding on Wednesday, said people briefed on the matter, following controversial remarks from Mr. Trump on Tuesday when he equated white nationalist hate groups with the protesters opposing them.

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/16/business/trumps-council-ceos.html

    • Oblios_Cap

      They probably haven’t been paid anything for their services.

      • Me not sure

        They get to come to the White House Xmas party. …If they bring a checkbook.

      • blaid droog

        I think the their original goal was to pay 45 for his services.

    • BadKitty904

      The man has a remarkable gift for turning chicken-salad into chickenshit.

      • Creepoman

        I believe his mantra is: When life gives you lemons, re-tweet a racist.

        • Me not sure

          Mine is “When life gives you lemons squeeze those fuckers right back in life’s squinty little eyes.”

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Tweet that they are all losers, grandstanders, and showboaters in 3…2…1…

    • elviouslyqueer

      On NPR, some dude from the United Steel Workers praised the Manufacturing Union dude this morning for telling Orangina to go fuck himself, and made some snide aside about “Well, the Council hasn’t actually EVER met, so most folks figured this was just a photo-op for Trump.” Congratulations for figuring that out, Captain Obvious.

  • Jenny

    Hurray!

  • Panika MCD

    OBLIGATORY: y’all means all.

    I, for one, am very happy that the bad math property tax bill done died and that the DNR bill that passed does not overturn every DNR in the state as its Senate version did. also too: trees defended!

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Yay for trees!

      • Panika MCD

        only took the US military opposing it and some bipartisan story time.

  • Nockular cavity

    Clearly, this is all just as bad as Nazis.

  • Baconzgood

    Did you ever notice when the Republicans bills on any economic legislation completely fail they revert back to the culture wars? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6f477899961ab241d2b30d87c0a6dafbf73aeb10d985b30ff16276a5c23ee353.jpg

    • Panika MCD

      oh, they so did.

    • beingreleased
      • Baconzgood

        Why was I laughing?…oh yeah that crippled Irish man HAHAHAHAHA…

        • beingreleased

          Yeah – the 2nd link is that gif, but Discus doesn’t seem to like it.

          • HogeyeGrex

            It doesn’t like image links that don’t end in the file type. .gif, .jpg, etc. If you strip off everything after that, they’ll often work.

    • BadKitty904

      What else have they got? It’s all dipshittery and dog-whistles with the GOP…

    • Master Contrail Program
      • Baconzgood

        I wish I could embed MST3K’s “Andy Rooney off”. Sadly Baconz fone is more smarter than he. But if a wonker can please do.

    • TJ Barke

      That’s the whole point of the culture wars stuff to the republican bigwigs. “What? You don’t want us lowering taxes on billionaires and megacorporations? OH SHIT, LOOKOUT! PREVERTS ARE CONVERTING YOUR KIDS INTO MUSLIM HOMOS!”

      • Panika MCD

        not really. there’s definitely a split between business republicans and social issue republicans. also, business would like them to fix our public schools before considering tax cuts because: applicant pools.

        • Master Contrail Program

          Strange badfellows. Err….bedfellows.

      • Grumpy Twat

        We’ve got a primary school in London named after a French Prevert http://www.ecoleprevert.org.uk/
        This one
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KzI4BEIwtc

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I wonder if it’s also got to do with changing demographics- not just racial, but the growth of the cities, out of state tech companies building satellite campuses and new residents with different expectations.
      Gotta find some way to get the faithful to turn out to the polls.

  • Joe Beese

    Now that President Trump has reverted to his earlier position that “many sides” are to blame for the white supremacist violence in Charlottesville, the dismay of senior people very close to him is suddenly getting smuggled out to the rest of the world, as if by magic. …

    But this leaked dismay is undercut by an inconvenient fact: The White House subsequently circulated a set of talking points that doubled down on Trump’s comments, in effect confirming them as the official White House position. …

    This is the White House these officials work for and have associated themselves with. Leaked murmurs of trepidation from them will achieve zero distance from it or from Trump’s racism and veiled lending of succor to escalating white supremacist activity. And they will be further stained by all that is to come.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/plum-line/wp/2017/08/16/everyone-working-for-trump-knows-his-charlottesville-response-is-an-abomination/

  • Holly

    NO! That douche bag Dan Patrick is wearing my clans tartan! It’s not even a cowboy plaid it’s a fucking tartan. He can’t do anything right!

    • Major_Major_Major

      The problem is he does everything RIGHT, so he is always doing it incorrectly.

    • Johnatx

      Well, he is from Maryland. Long time grifter

    • birdbrain53

      Tartans are not supposed to be shirts. Shudder. Kilts, scarves, yes. But on him I think I’ll pass on the kilt idea.

  • James Baskin

    Is that a real photo of Fartenholden? Please tell me it’s not.

    • Johnatx

      It is real

    • Panika MCD

      once you see it, it can’t be unseen.

  • James Johnson

    RE “Republican” Lloyd Doggett, please correct your story to reflect that Doggett is not “BAD!”, but a Democrat, having represented the Austin/San Antonio area for many years. Our redneck legislature changed the boundaries of his district, with only a small piece of Travis County (Austin) included, in order to elect a reliable non-Democrat in that district. As is obvious, Doggett prevailed anyway, and has been re-elected several times in that seriously gerrymandered district.

  • blaid droog

    Dan patrick looks like a “man” who, with enough booze under his pantyhose, would bend over and take a donkey dick up his ass. Without any lube.

    • DerrickWildcat

      I was gonna say the same thing.

    • Panika MCD

      that’s Blake Farenthold.

  • Daredevil

    Right wing libertarian: “The government should have LIMITED INTERFERENCE IN PEOPLE’S LIVES! Well, except when trans women want to go to the bathroom, gay people want to get married etc”.

    • BadKitty904

      Hypocrisy is as natural as breathing with these people.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      The government should have LIMITED INTERFERENCE IN PEOPLE’S** LIVES!

      **Folks like us

      • SweetDeeKat

        *White, Jebus-lovin peoples.

  • Johnatx

    Doggett is a Democrat. Texas House Speaker Joe Straus (R-San Antonio) is the person that in the regular session and the special session that opposed the “bathroom bill”, saying that “he did not want a single suicide of a transgender person on his hands.

  • SadDemInTex

    I was glad about the failure of the “bathroom bill”. When I called legislators I kept with the “it is bad for business” trope because those motherfuckers don’t understand anything else except $$$$$. As for the Hispanics voting out Rethugs….not going to happen. They are almost uniformly conservative. Bummer, but people always gravitate to what’s in power.

    • Panika MCD

      I want Lucio Jr. GONE.

  • DesertedPictures

    So can I still accompany my four year old daughter to the bathroom?

  • Beowoof14

    Hey when the Texas republicans are out doing the Larry Craig, how will they ever find what they need if they get too tough on the bathrooms.

  • TJ Barke

    Shouldn’t this be Panicka’s article? She literally works for the Texas leg…
    Also: “What has changed is the business community has weighed in publicly,” Cook, R-Corsicana, said. “That’s a huge difference.”
    That’s pretty fucking telling…

    • Johnatx

      It should be. As written, it has several errors in it

      • Panika MCD

        I know, right? going after Doggett = WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK?!

    • chortlingdingo

      Right? It doesn’t matter how many hundreds or thousands of Texans speak up, it’s the businesses that count. I mean, I’m glad this bill died, but I wish our voices mattered to these guys.

      • Panika MCD

        it was our voices. business doesn’t want to do anything that limits its applicant pool. business heard our voices loud and clear.

  • BadKitty904

    Let’s pass a bill forbidding Texas Republicans from using ANY bathroom. Lord knows, they couldn’t be more full of shit…

  • Marion in Savannah

    Dear sweet Mother of God — that SHIRT…

    • SomeBigRedDog

      I find it hard to believe he’d ever make it safely into a Texas men’s room wearing that.

  • btwbfdimho
  • Sean McLaren

    If you’re looking for something to do after the last week, and you have a Republican Senator, give ’em a call.

    https://twitter.com/brianschatz/status/896913048622907392

  • Wookie Monster

    So, who’s surprised that a Texas state rep was willing to ignore his constituents but shouted “how high!” when corporations told him to jump?

    • Panika MCD

      he’s not.

      • Wookie Monster

        He’s not what?

        • Panika MCD

          Cook didn’t shaft his constituents for the business community.

          • Wookie Monster

            He just ignored them.

          • Panika MCD

            no, he didn’t. his constituents don’t give a shit about where people pee. they want something done about property taxes.

          • Wookie Monster

            okay

  • writersbloc

    I like to thank our Speaker of the House, Rep. Joe Straus for being the only non-fuckwit in his party in this entire state.

    • Panika MCD

      HUBERTY AND SARAH DAVIS LIBELZ!

  • Oblios_Cap

    In that picture, it appears that Patrick is belting out a particularly rousing show tune.

  • La forza del resistino

    Eat it Donald. Here’s the most liked tweet ever.
    https://twitter.com/BarackObama/status/896523232098078720

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    OT the Nazi in the HBO Vice documentary about Charlottesville who showed off his guns and bragged about being willing to kill anti-Nazi protesters is literally crying in fear of being arrested.

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/08/im-terrified-neo-nazi-blubbers-like-a-baby-in-video-reporting-hes-wanted-for-arrest-in-charlottesville/

    • BadKitty904

      “Personal Responsibility!!1!”

    • Beanz&Berryz

      The Master Race…

    • TJ Barke

      Snowflake.

    • Oblios_Cap

      “I was just joking!”

    • BosGrl

      Sad!

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Make Nazis Cry Again

    • NastyBossetti

      Is this the guy who removed no fewer than 4 guns from his person at the end of the video? He’s afraid? Fuck him. He wanted to make other people afraid, he said the rally was a success because no one who agreed with him died. He’s afraid of facing consequences? Oh well!

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        Yeah, same guy.

    • Alan

      Do they all have room temperature IQs?

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        Yes.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      So he’s afraid that by protesting he might be killed by the police???

      Every body in BLM is like https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/81ee662b9b2bbccf98d3ca55626ae169965e327022f15836325697a927152623.gif

    • leemoder

      I drink his salty tears. mmmmm.

    • TakingAmes

      Poor baby.

  • fawkedifiknow

    I feel sorry for Farenthold. There’s no way he got that picture without having to pay the poor woman for the privilege. He’s as homely as Susan Collins said he is.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      I won’t feel sorry for Farenthold until he [does not conform to commenting rules] his [does not conform to commenting rules] with Steve Bannon’s [does not conform to commenting rules] with votes.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    ““What has changed is the business community has weighed in publicly,” Cook, R-Corsicana, said. “That’s a huge difference.”

    And thank you, Mr. Cook, for publicly confirming that you only care about big business. Such honesty is unusual, and will be appreciated come campaign time.

    • Panika MCD

      hey, I like Cook. he opposed this shit before business got loud. he was referring to the ones who flipped.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        You’re the one with your finger on the pulse of TX politics, so I’ll believe you. Still, the soundbyte is in his words and voice – he’s the one it’ll get used against..

        • Panika MCD

          Mucus got the ban on using archived footage in political commercials overturned and I have all the time stamps.

  • Who do you TRUST more in a bathroom?

    Transgender or Teabagger?
    https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/8f/a9/fd/8fa9fdd47366f496734734e252b912f8.jpg

  • btwbfdimho

    Meanwhile in Texas, next week I go back to teach economics at a community college…for the first time under the new open-carry law.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Fun times, whacha plannin’ on packin’? All the gunz, or just some of’em?

    • Marion in Savannah

      Time to get that Kevlar jacket.

    • armed_bears

      I am older enough to remember when “Texas open carry” meant beer, in cars.

    • Panika MCD

      good luck!

  • Major_Major_Major

    For once, a thing wasn’t bigoter in Texas.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    Donnie’s council thing has just fully disbanded. CEO’s hate him. We may laugh now.

    • armed_bears

      Can’t find on news.google…. Legit? Great news, if so.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        MSNBC just reported it. News came shortly after Campbell’s dropped out. CNBC reported it.

        https://twitter.com/search?q=cnbc+trump+council+disbanded&ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Esearch

        • laughingnome

          When you’ve lost Campbell Soup you’ve lost hundreds of recipes your mom made in the 1970s.

          • armed_bears

            cream of mushroom libulz.

          • OrdinaryJoe

            Chicken Noodle is so Jewish.

          • armed_bears

            Nope, Catholics own that one, too. Esp. with chicken and rice on Sundays before football.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            This is true. Out of protest, the Baptists own Chicken and Stars.

          • armed_bears

            I did not know that. Not Neil Degrasse Tyson?

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            It’s the policy council, different from the manufacturer’s council.
            https://twitter.com/scottbudman/status/897863534050017281

          • armed_bears

            Also thanks… the title seemed weird… but I bet the other manufactured-in-the-USA shoe will drop, also too.

          • laughingnome

            Bulletin: The Red Army is crossing the Elbe

          • Shibusa

            @realDonaldTrump
            Rather than putting pressure on the businesspeople of the Manufacturing Council & Strategy & Policy Forum, I am ending both. Thank you all!
            August 16, 2017 1:14pm EDT

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Just caught that myself. Velshi and Ruhl are #on it.

          • DerrickWildcat
          • laughingnome

            We had that on toast. We weren’t Italian

          • armed_bears

            or rice, and acceptable alternate fact.

          • armed_bears

            Exactly that, right there.

          • DerrickWildcat

            It’s described as, “An easy “Campbell’s soup” recipe.”

          • laughingnome

            Looks the same after you eat it.

          • armed_bears

            And there must be at least 20 vegetables in there, if you count carefully.

          • DerrickWildcat

            Hey, I’m not saying it’s Masterchef quality.

          • armed_bears

            Nope, but the church rectory always smelled of Campbells… so God must approve.

          • Oblios_Cap

            Um, um, Good!

          • elviouslyqueer

            Every single one of my awesome casseroles I fixed this past weekend LIBEL.

          • laughingnome

            Once in a while mom went crazy and served Chunky Soup on rice.

        • armed_bears
          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            np, had to find it myself. Heard it on the teevee.

          • Oblios_Cap

            Jamie Dimon must have not been feeling well to do something fairly decent like that.

        • SweetDeeKat

          Huh. J.P. Morgan Chase’s Jaime Dimon, banker shitgoblin, pulled out.

          • armed_bears

            that’s what she said.

    • Alan

      But he said he has lots of people to replace the grandstanders.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Hehe! He says a lot of things, none of them true.

      • DerrickWildcat

        The best

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      This is far fetched and conspiracy loon crazy, but what with all those generals he’s surrounded himself with, will Trump suddenly experience a “Major medical event”? One that requires Pence to take over?

      • armed_bears

        My bigger fear is that the medical thing is already true, and that they won’t. He’s a damaged man.

    • BigCSouthside

      Rumor is the rest of the manufacturing council will disband as well. Mass exodus from Trump. Amazing

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Some post that rats fleeing the ship gif.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Rumor is true. Both are dead.

  • laughingnome

    MMMM MMMM Good news! Campbell Soup is quitting Trump!

    • chazmanr

      Not surprise. Yesterday evening, I called their customer service (had to wait for 10 minutes) to tell them that I had just dumped 10 cans of soup, a couple of bottles of V8 and Bolthouse Farms juice in the trash and would no longer buying their products. I was pleasant to the poor sap answering the phone, but I gather I was an exception.

  • Rickyphoo

    OMG, that picture of Dan Patrick in the plaid shirt! He is just begging for the fashionistas to tear him a new asshole.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Folks should really know better than to leave the house dressed in your fall table linens.

    • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

      It’s a very lumberjack clergyman look

    • Panika MCD

      you should see the one of him at Buc-ee’s. oh the moobs and pit stains.

  • SomeBigRedDog

    Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick, my mom says to tell you that she has that exact same blouse!

    • elviouslyqueer

      Blouse, hell. I had that exact same tablecloth!

      • SomeBigRedDog

        Its possible my mom made it from some curtains. I didn’t ask.

    • chazmanr

      And jeans

    • BeachBum

      He’s going for the “rural” vote by wearing a tractor cover.

  • jodyleek

    Fuck these fucks and their fucking bathroom bills! I have an autistic son and up until about 6 months ago (he’s now 12), he would come into the ladies’ bathroom with me when we were out about. He needed reminders to flush the toilet, wash his hands, etc. He’s also rather forthright and would have probably commented on the size, or lack there of, of anyone standing at the urinal with their dicks out. When he was much younger, I didn’t want to send my special needs son into the men’s bathroom by himself because he may not have had the understanding of what constitutes appropriate vs. inappropriate touch. Any touching by a stranger in a bathroom is most likely inappropriate, but I’m sure he wouldn’t have understood that or been able to defend himself. So, he’d share a stall with me in the ladies’ room and no one ever gave me any grief and if they had, they’d have wished they hadn’t.

    • Panika MCD

      the Litzingers (a family of disability rights activists) made that point several times.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Well, yeah, OK, empathy and reality and all that.

      But isn’t it more important to score a few cheap points into order to gain a leg district with peckwood voters than to do something decent?

      Amazingly, CEO’s of major corporations demonstrated more empathy on this issue than the Republican Party.

      Predictably, Trump is now trying to break and harness the power of businesses and mold them to his will?

      Hey, you know who else broke and harnessed the power of businesses and molded them to his will?

      • jodyleek

        Charles Dickens via Jacob Marley?
        “Mankind was my business. The common welfare was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, benevolence, were all my business. The dealings of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!”

        • Mehmeisterjr

          I was thinking of a more recent example (hint: small mussy, short reich) but Jacob Marley was certainly a worthy predecessor.

  • Wild Cat

    If RT is on your cable or satellite provider, you might inform them that hosting nazis who host nazis is not good for business.

    • Major_Major_Major

      you might even say it is nazi best idea. Thank you, thank you. Be sure to tip your waiteress.

  • Michael R

    American Terrorist Christopher Cantwell balls his eyes out

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyeTj002DCo&feature=youtu.be

    Star of this VICE video

    https://youtu.be/RIrcB1sAN8I

    • TJ Barke

      What a cucking snowflake.

      • Michael R

        Watch him unpack his guns in the video

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      I’d like to inform this man baby of the “options he has”: he could, for instance, bend over, open up, and stick his head as far up his ass as it will go…

    • BadKitty904

      So, owning guns obviously DOESN’T make you a Real Man?

      • Michael R

        I’m guessing two things :
        1. He’s not allowed to own guns
        2 . Meth wears off after a while .

    • Grumpy Twat

      Why the fuck did he put this out into the public arena? How much of an Alpha male does he think he looks?

      • Michael R

        Victim / fundraising was someones theory

  • Joe Beese
    • TJ Barke

      What an alpha…

      • Paperless Tiger

        His alpha mouth overloaded his beta ass.

    • Joe Beese
    • Wild Cat

      So Campbell’s left just to preserve their reputation; they probably were given a head’s up. Nazi Soup. Diluted Brains.

    • Michael R

      No , they are putting an end to you , hopefully only the beginning .

    • SomeBigRedDog

      Donald, looking around at an empty table. “Well, I guess we’re done here! Who’s up for some golf?”

    • Oblios_Cap

      “It was all my idea.”

      • Joe Beese

        You can’t fire me. I quit.

        • elviouslyqueer

          I’m taking all my toys and going home, also too.

          • BadKitty904

            Pretty much.

    • BigCSouthside

      I’m pretty fuckin sure those decisions were made without trump’s input

    • elviouslyqueer

      Chalk up another big win for the orange puckered asshole.

    • Sean McLaren

      hahahahahahahhaha…wheeeze…..hahahahahaahh..sniff..omg..hahahahahhahah

      what a winner, no, that’s not the word, sounds like…

    • BadKitty904

      “As well as Congress and the Judiciary…”

      • Sean McLaren

        probably not, if he tried that Rs would realize they’re never getting their tax cuts and would suddenly find their moral outrage can extend beyond twitter.

    • leemoder

      Oh yeah? Well, I’m breaking up with YOU!

      slams phone( do we still slam phones? )

      • Beanz&Berryz

        At work. If at all.

      • Joe Beese

        You can’t slam down phones any more! It’s a bit of expressiveness that the digital era has robbed us of forever.

        • leemoder

          Just imagine when all phones are grafted to our ears. Hospital visits from dorks punching themselves in the head will skyrocket.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          Well, one of my spawn “hung up” a cell phone by throwing it across the room. That was in the days of 2 year contract. She had to buy a new, much cheaper one herself.

          • BeachBum

            That is just Good Parenting ! I believe in Tuff Luv for ones over 18.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          There isn’t a phone-slamming app? For shame!

      • BeachBum

        Yeah, but only if you buy that Extra Protection and Oddball Accidents Plan.

    • NastyBossetti

      I feel like I haven’t laughed in years, but THIS? This is funny.

    • laughingnome

      You can’t quit ’cause you’re fired!

    • DerrickWildcat

      I am ending both after they left.

      • Joe Beese

        What pressure might he be referring to? Certainly not the pressure of standing with a president who was absolutely right in his statements.

        • BeachBum

          “No pressure ! No pressure ! You’re the pressure !”

      • YoBunnyBunny

        It’s like disinviting everybody from the party after they declined the invitation!

    • OrG in London

      LOSER

    • jesterpunk

      Your ending councils that only have Jared on them since everyone else quit?

    • laughingnome

      THis is like saying, I’m so toxic you can feel free to keep a safe distance from me – like on the other side of the country.

    • BigCSouthside

      Trump this morning: “FUCK YOU GRANDSTANDERS YOURE ALL REPLACEABLE”
      Trump now: “okay no more councils, cuz I don’t want to put pressure on people”

      • Joe Beese

        Blessed are the peacemakers.

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          Blessed are the peacemakers cheesemakers. IFIFY

      • Joe Beese

        This is the kind of behavior that the media charitably describes as “mercurial”.

    • Sean McLaren

      Trump really can bring unity to this country, Fortune 50 CEOs and antifa socialists on the same side.

      • BeachBum

        I’m afraid the guy who said “politics make strange bedfellows” may be right. I don’t do strange anymore.

    • Thiazin Red

      Everyone saw their tweets and statements already, you’re not fooling anyone.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      DJT, Low Energy! Sad! Loser!

    • SomeBigRedDog

      He’s just tired from all the winning.

    • Raan

      pfffft hahahahahahahaha

    • BeachBum

      Cause we know that all CEOs are big wussies and with just a little pressure they take their limo/plane/yacht/chopper and go crying home to mama.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      These organizations will be much biglier replaced by the Council of Charlottesville Marchers Who Lost Their Jobs Because They Are Racist Assholes Who Are Not All Bad. Cofeve!

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    That shirt is so deep in the closet it instantly takes you to Narnia when you wear it.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Gee, I wonder how the rest of the world feels right now?

  • Joe Beese
  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    And he tweeted that he’s ending both his councils. What a loser.

    • Thiazin Red

      Trying to pull the old “You can’t fire me I quit”?

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Basically. The stuttering prick Larry Kudlow is getting his ass handed to him on Craig Melvin right now. Hell, Veshi’s taking him to task over his economic peddling.

        • leemoder

          Sorry I missed that.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            It’s happening right now on MSNBC.

          • leemoder

            Commercial.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Oh! I had to run it back to find out something for another thread and forgot to catch it up. My bad.

          • leemoder

            No worries. I imagine it’ll pop up in their site soon enough.

    • Zonath

      What a complete twit.

      • Opiwan

        (Wannabe) Upper-Class Twit of the Week!

        “Lord Drumpfenfuhrer of Dumbasshire”

  • BadKitty904

    OT: MY husband just texted me from the grocery store, all excited (bless his heart) because King’s Hawaiian Rolls has just introduced a line that includes jalapeno peppers.

    USA! USA!! USA!1!

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Well that will cancel out the lack of fiber problem

    • Jonny On Maui

      You’re welcome!

      I had nothing to do with it…

      • BadKitty904

        Donald?

        • Jonny On Maui

          You know Donald would take all the credit…

    • elviouslyqueer

      Tell him to buy me a couple packages.

      Hee. Package. Hee.

      • BeachBum

        Mee too ! And some of that good cheese, the soft one !

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          And those cakes? The ones we like?…

    • DerrickWildcat

      Try with the Jalapeno Fritos.

    • Raan

      We used the regular ones the other day to make sliders for dinner.

    • leemoder

      I’ll get excited when they create rolls shot through with bacon. ‘Til then…

    • renegade500

      Oooh I’m gonna have to go find those! Talk about two great tastes that (hopefully) taste great together.

    • elviouslyqueer

      I can’t say a word, seeing as a recent text I sent to my hubby was “OMG Wal-Mart has Pancho’s Cheese Dip on sale! How many cases do I need to buy?”

      • BadKitty904

        God bless their sweet hearts…

        (EDIT: Oh, YOU sent that – in that case, “God bless your sweet heart…“)

      • Mehmeisterjr

        But Walmart?

        Can’t you get it someplace, anyplace else?

        (Spoken as someone who sometimes can’t find something at Walmart and noplace, anyplace else, curse their evil hearts.)

    • Swampgas_Man

      Yeah, I saw those the other day– gonna have to try them.

  • Sean McLaren
  • OrdinaryJoe

    Just watched about 10 minutes of the best economic debate that I have seen on TV. MSNBC Ali Velshi beat the ever living fuck out of CNBC Larry Kudlow, with facts.

    • BeachBum

      I believe it. Kudlow does not know ass from hole in ground. Never has. Pompous sycophant windbag ass kisser.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Velshi tore him apart! Al Sharpton was amazing!

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Rev. Al was on fire. Kudlow was totally out of his league.

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          Isn’t he always?

    • Raan

      How did it compare to that time Jon Stewart verbally flayed Jim Cramer?

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Velshi didn’t try to be polite in his disdain and dispatching of the Kulow bullshit.

  • renegade500

    I’ve really come to appreciate Straus’ resolve in keeping the House from taking up the bathroom bill. He really has no love for the tea partiers and their obsession over which genitals end up in the ladies’ rooms of the state.

    • Panika MCD

      I would love him even if he didn’t do that because he smacks down the Freedumb Cacas on a regular basis.

      • Johnatx

        Not in his district (I’m in Gina Hinojosa’s district), but I gotta admit, I respect him. Didn’t he get all of the Democratic state representative’s votes for Speaker?

        • Panika MCD

          he got 100% of the votes for speaker this last session–from both parties. I’m in Gina’s district also too!

        • Panika MCD

          and that Bexar Co. CEC meeting that voted he should be replaced had a cunning lack of precinct chairs from his district. his district still supports him.

        • Panika MCD

          go thank Gina and Kirk:

          http://actnow.io/7Va1NLZ

      • renegade500

        Anyone who hates the Freedom Caucus is a friend to the people.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Meanwhile, I am shocked that none of y’all have noted that Dan Patrick looks like a fatter, slightly grayer Sean Hannity with a fetish for gingham.

  • Virginia Thornton

    Lloyd Doggett is a Democrat.

    • Fartknocker

      And he serves my District. I lost an awesome State Senator to gerrymandering and picked up Bob Workman, a.k.a., (R) Repugnant Shitweasel. The RPS was butt buddies with Bob Perry (dead, not related to Rick “a.k.a. Goat Fucking Dancing With The Stars” Perry) who pushed a law that prohibits Fire Departments from enforcing Liquefied Petroleum Gas regulations more restrictive than those promulgated by the Tx Railroad Commission. We’ve been challenged but never taken to Court becuase even big business knows that when a Fire Chief says “No,” you should really think about why she said “No.”

      • Virginia Thornton

        not wanting to die, personally and completely, in a fire may be the last thing that cuts across party lines. Fire Fighters are awesome.

      • Panika MCD

        Workman is a state rep. and his first name is Paul.

      • TakingAmes

        It strikes me that if the fire chief is a “she,” they’d definitely find a way to ignore her.

        • Fartknocker

          She’s very influential, calm and a pleasure to work with. But, she took the same oath I did and if the analysis states it’s a bad idea, she’s at the front of the room telling you why she won’t approve it but her decision can be appealed. Google Austin Fire Chief. She broke the glass ceiling at the International Association of Fire Chiefs two years ago. I respect her a great deal.

      • Panika MCD

        shame about you losing Valinda, though.

        • Fartknocker

          I really appreciated her efforts. She focused on her district’s needs and was a champion for education.

          • Panika MCD

            she’s still a champion for education. just not in elected office.

      • Panika MCD

        hey, look! Dobbs made us this thing:

        http://actnow.io/7Va1NLZ

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          FFS mature trees help sell houses. Smart developers know this.

          • Panika MCD

            the US military also opposed the bill.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    Has any of their “precious daughters” ever complained about having to use the same bathrooms as transgender girls ? Because all I see is white crusty old men having their fits about it.

    • SweetDeeKat

      Since they can’t oppress the gheys, they pick what they think is closest to them.

  • Mavenmaven

    And on that note, Trump announced the closing of his manufacturing advisory board, because he makes the best deals.

    • BeachBum

      I’m trying to make a metaphor with the Titanic but I gotz nuttin. :(

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        He has sided with the pro-icebergers.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Not all of them are jagged icebergs that rip holes in boat hulls. Many of them, and I have looked at the pictures and you know this, are good ice cubes, good ice cubes that cool refreshing drinks, many of them. Cool, refreshing, many of them.

          And the ice-breakers also did violence. Many ice-breakers did violence and you can ask any social club about ice-breakers. Lots of violence there. I know this from many years of grabbing pussy like a bitch. Mr. Bannon, who is a great guy and not a racist, believe me, will bear me out. Sad

          • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

            And when you hurt yourself, what do you grab first? An ICE PACK! Do you condemn that ice pack, hypocrites? These are decent icebergs, just peacefully floating, who are understandably upset that boats are trying to ram them. That boat didn’t even have a permit! Did you know George Washington was in a boat passing icebergs on the Potomac? Do you condemn HIM? Huh? How about Frosty the Snowman? He’s made of ice. I suppose you don’t like HIM?

          • Mehmeisterjr

            Excellent points.

            Frosty is a great Snowman. The best. Snowman. Believe me.

            Let me make this clear, OK? OK? I condemn bad snowmen. But not all snowmen are bad. Many are good. The ones with the hoods. They are good. Other snowmen, good, too: Especially those who drive cars into crowds of pedestrians.

            You won’t hear this from the false- daylight.

            Mr. Bannon. Good man.

  • RachelK

    Lloyd Doggett is NOT a republican, ffs. He’s a democrat member of the pro choice caucus. The illegality of his district likely stems from the incessant republican attempts to gerrymander him out of office bc he’s liberal, super popular, and awesome.

  • Panika MCD

    my first name has no c in it.

  • BeachBum

    I’m not a psychiatrist and I don’t play one on tee vee, but IMO, there has to be something wrong with a person who thinks about/worries/obsessed with other people’s genitals while in public restrooms.

    • IdiotsforPalin

      See Larry Craig

    • Panika MCD

      that’s not the only thing wrong with Patrick Goeb, Mucus and Pastor Welch.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I don’t live there- I wonder how much they actually privately care about it so much as they see it as an issue to get their voters out. Homophobia just doesn’t sell the way it used to.

  • Apparently, pantshitters have strong views on toilet usage.

  • Lefty Wright

    North Carolina has lawsuits filed in 2013 over gerrymandered congressional districts. There was a lawsuit filed in 2015 about the state legislative districts. The this has gone up to the Supreme Court and filtered back down. Just a couple of weeks ago, a three judge panel ordered the legislature to redraw districts by September 1, 2017, but did not order a new election prior to the November 2018 date. Yet the legislature continues to stall. They appointed the same person who drew the 2011 maps to redraw them, and although the courts have declared the old districts racially gerrymandered, the legislature has order the mapmaker to totally disregard racial makeup. My only guess on this is that they intend to try to restart their appeals on a different basis, claiming they simply ignored race so they cannot be held accountable for racial disparities or packing, and keep the old districts through the 2018 elections. Their appeals worked for about 4 years before, despite losing every court case. One of the judges on the three judge panel now is a staunch Republican who has ruled in favor of the legislature on several important issues, including the voter ID law, so you cannot say he is a liberal. I doubt if any state has had a slimier legislature than NC over the last 7 years.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      My parents retired to rural NC 20 years ago, it seemed the state didn’t used to be that way then. What happened?

  • marxalot

    Another day, another reason to hate the Texas executive branch and more than half of the lege. It’s true what they say– you can’t go home again (if you’re not a straight white rich conservative evangelical undereducated bigoted cis man).
    -Tex’iled

    • Panika MCD

      um….more than half of the lege killed the stupid shit. that’s how it’s supposed to work. only 12 of the 150 members in the House are Freedumb Cacas.

  • redarmyzombie

    “Pour one out for the bigots in the Lone Star State”

    I think not! That alcohol costs me money you know, and I sure as hell *AIN’T* wasting it on these fuckheads!

    • Panika MCD

      y’all means all.

    • RachelK

      How about you drink a toast to the thousands of loud and persistent activists that showed up at the capitol over and over and over to help shut this shit down?
      That way you don’t waste any alcohol and don’t erase the people being oppressed by the bigots in our state?
      It’s win win. I wouldn’t waste alcohol on those assholes either but I am celebrating their defeat. Cheers, mate.

      • redarmyzombie

        Cheers!

  • whitroth

    $5F, boo-boo there. Lloyd Doggett’s a Dem. And, IIRC, from when my late wife and I lived in Austin, lo, these many years ago, was a decent guy.

    • Werewolf

      You remember correctly.

    • Fivedollarfeminist

      Yes, I’ve been getting an earful! Sorry, will fix.

      • RachelK

        Big fan of you, generally, even if I did get a bit indignant about Doggett. You are a fave 😍
        He’s pretty great, and they’ve been trying to redistrict him out of office for ages.
        His daughter and her husband are doctors who advocate universal healthcare, and in the meantime – provide free healthcare for as many as possible by running free clinics.
        And personal story: I used to teach his granddaughters gymnastics and yoga, and ended up sending my kids to the cooperative preschool they went to. Even after they went into elementary, he continued his donations to the school and to our silent auction. Our school community was the first integrated school in Texas, founded specifically to be that, BEFORE Brown v Board of Ed. and is generally a hive of liberal indoctrination lol.
        Anyway.
        Because of his donations to the auction, I have an American flag that flew over congress on New Year’s Day in the first year of Obama’s second term, a reminder that until recently, my children had never lived in a world where a white man was president.

        • Fivedollarfeminist

          Thanks, Rachel! I definitely missed the mark on that one. Really sorry to f— up!

  • kareemachan

    Oh gods, that PJ lardass is CREEPY.

    Also, this:

    Rep. Byron Cook listened to hundreds of [individuals opposed to the bill]. But the outcry from industry was the game changer, he said. “What has changed is the business community has weighed in publicly,” Cook, R-Corsicana, said. “That’s a huge difference.”

    Translation: Fuck our constituents, but if our incestuous relationship with business might suffer, oh, I guess I won’t try to pull this shit.

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      In Texas, coporations are not just people, they’re more than people.

    • Panika MCD

      he opposed the bill during the regular session. it was others that flipped because of business. not only that, but the argument from business was: don’t limit our applicant bills, assholes. we want all the applicants and discriminatory legislation fucks that up for us! also too: please quit it with the “school choice” garbage and fix TX schools.

      in short: business turns out to be better at listening to constituents than Dan Patrick Dannie Goeb is.

      Cook’s constituents want a property tax fix, they don’t care where you pee.

  • Panika MCD

    I just noticed that the graphic you have up there of anti-LGBT bills is from the regular session. they don’t file thousands of bills during the special session.

  • peteywheats

    Lloyd Doggett is the only real liberal allowed to represent Austin. They have to put the gerrymandered remnants somewhere.

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    “Prohibit school boards from enforcing policies that protect … kids in bathrooms.”

    Nothing says projection like the pedophiles in the Texas legislature.

  • sarafina

    However, the special session did f+ck over women again, requiring purchase of separate insurance policies for non-emergency abortions.

    • Panika MCD

      and we are only the 26th state to do that…the 11th to adopt this particular version.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Oregon, bless them, just went the other way.

        • Panika MCD

          so did CA. the only two.

  • theblackdog

    I am thrilled to see that this bill died the death it deserved.

  • Weird Fishes

    They’re clowns, all of them.

    There is no accountability to the voters that have spoken out – in fairness, for or against. But the dollars, wow, the dollars. At first I was taken back by how matter-of-fact Cook was when he spoke of the influence of business in the process. And you, as fun (and easy!) as it is to crap all over Texas – not least because it’s so big it’s hard to miss – there are 49 other state houses, not to mention a national legislature, that run along exactly the same lines.

    Texas just can’t be bothered to lie about it, which is weirdly admirable.

    • Panika MCD

      Cook was speaking to the fact that others flipped. he was already on the correct side with this one to begin with.

      • He still admitted even civil rights is for sale. And money all they listen to.

        • Panika MCD

          that is not at all what happened. I’m not just a Texan, I work at the Capitol. I had a front row seat. I don’t know why you keep thinking it’s alright to try to find some way of tearing down Byron Cook who is a good man, a great Texan and not a fucking sell out. you guys want to tear down the flippers, have at it. but leave Cook alone if you aren’t going to support him.

          and, again, it’s sad when the business community listens to the people and our executive branch doesn’t. they were saying the same things everyone else was: discrimination is bad for us as a state and as a nation.

          • Tasha Naraganza, of Spain

            The business community doesn’t listen to the people — it listens to the bottom line. It’s still all about making money, and making money has gotten more liberal as the market has grown more liberal. Imbecile politicians may be ready to screw themselves and their state for their crackpot ideology, but businessmen know who their customers are, and they don’t want to lose one of them.

  • “What has changed is the business community has weighed in publicly,” Cook, R-Corsicana, said. “That’s a huge difference.”
    Read that again qnd tell me the Rs are not all about selling the country and even fucking civil rights

  • SkinlessGenderlessMan

    “He’s a lumberjack and he’s OK
    He sleeps all night and he works all day….”

    img.wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/24640165773_eba12d164a_b-500×333.jpg

    • Tasha Naraganza, of Spain

      Upvoted for the perfect rejoinder:
      “I cut down trees, I skip and jump, I like to press wild flowers, I put on women’s clothing, and hang around in bars!”

    • mardam422

      That’s not a good look for him.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    “our precious daughters feel a little uncomfortable for a few days until she gets used to peeing next to someone who was born with a weiner.”

    This is just a question. So one of these arguments they use is how it’s not natural and all that stupid shit having people of different sexes using the terlet.

    Smart wonketteers – When did the concept of gender specific toilets gain popularity in the “Western” world? I mean, did the romans use public, mixed gender terlets?

    After all, they had aquaducts.

    • HarpyLibtart

      I don’t even understand the fundamental problem – we’ve had unisex/accessible bathrooms in our office for years. Granted, it’s a separate, smaller bathroom to the regular ladies’ and mens’ rooms, but all that means is that poop-shy people of both genders in my office hog them CONSTANTLY.
      Besides, why is anyone more likely to get assaulted by someone pretending to be the same gender in a bathroom – surely, if you’re determined to get all rapey, you’re not going to be overly concerned about whether you have to venture into the ladies’ to do it?

    • Teecha

      The romans (as I recall- it’s been a few years since they were on the syllabus) did not have mixed loos. They did have public loos, so you could chat with chums as you enjoyed the shitter. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3720062eabae11e6578cbdf40e7477050d23784008b08f5c252a63ab745541df.jpg
      (Wiping your arse with a sponge on a stick- kept in a jar of vinegar)

      • mardam422

        Wiping your arse with a sponge on a stick- kept in a jar of vinegar.
        Oh my Dog!! My hemorrhoids!!

    • Teecha

      Also too, the advent of public loos in Britain, which were often in department stores, meant that ladies had more freedom to go out into the world. Before that, they were often limited to their home, and those of their friends/ neighbours. For poorer women, this wasn’t the same. They had to go out.
      So I think public loos in the UK have been segregated for as long as they have existed.

  • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Yay Panika! Nice shout out!

    Also, if austin is still like it was, cracking it would NOT be hard.

    When I was in college 20 years ago, I was SHOCKED at specific the minority neighborhoods were.

    Sure, downtown, which includes the capitol, and the University area, which is about 10 blocks north of the capitol are VERY diverse…but man after that: South of the river was mainly hispanic (the exception being the typical austin neighboords near zilker park and south lamar); east of I-35 was almost EXCLUSIVELY black and north and northwest were almost exclusively white.

    • Panika MCD

      downtown doesn’t include the Pink Dome, the Pink Dome is strictly under the control of the state. you should see how gentrified the East Side has gotten. we have very few ways to make a majority African American council district because of the spread out nature of the population (and how many are being priced out). and you’re forgetting how white 78704 is.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        well, i meant geographically, i mean you cross, what is it 8th street?, and go from downtown across the street to the cap.

        I had heard about the east side thing. My last time there in 2012 or so a buddy took me to east 6th street one night. I was like, there’s an EAST sixth street? In my day the bar strip stopped at the highway.

    • Panika MCD

      and notice how 5$F still thinks Doggett is boring…which he’s not.

      • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

        eh, by our standards. (those of us who don’t live under the Pink Dome)

        I literally had forgotten about him…I think I may have met him once when I was working for KVUE outside of the old city courthouse – the fact that i can’t remember if its him or some other ole white dud kinda proves her point.

        • Panika MCD

          clearly, you’ve never talked to his staff. the man only sleeps 4 hours a night and doesn’t like them sleeping more than 6. you didn’t see him calling Trump’s big pharma bill total bullshit last March?

          • TEX Dept. of Space Tacos

            no i didn’t!
            That’s amazing – i had not heard any of this. (although the not wanting your staff to sleep thing is a bit dickish and unhealthy).

          • Panika MCD

            it is, but I don’t work for him.

  • The grown man in footie pajamas are the most offensive part of this story…

  • The Librarian

    Money is always the driver, and doing the right thing rides in the back seat. It happened to work out, but still.

  • KMTBERRY

    LloydDoggett is practically Jesus! No say anything bad about POWER LLOYD

    • H0mer0

      didn’t he file some affidavit about Anita Hill during the Clarence Thomas hearings?

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