OH HEY WONKERS! How is your Saturday morning? Ours is fine, though we are tired after another week in the hell of Trump’s America. Oh well. But we have many funny stories to share for your weekly top ten post! And we have many pictures of Wonkette Grandbaby to share, and if you are good and scroll all the way down (obeying the orders in the donation paragraph obviously) we will post them all!
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Look, it’s the traditional Wonkette Baby Donation Pressure Lion Of Cuteness, who is Wonkette’s Top Salesperson of the Month when it comes to shaking you down for donations/buying stuff:
We shall now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé:
1. Sure you guys, it is JUST AWESOME how people are shitting on Kamala Harris right now, you bet.
3. A Breitbart guy was triggered so hard by the current cover of Vogue, he fell over dead. But don’t worry, he got better!
4. Jill Stein decided to kick herself in the nads some more talking about North Korea.
5. Speaking of North Korea, Donald Trump initially responded to the scary news about their nuclear weapons by … bitch-tweeting about Hillary Clinton.
6. Old President Lazy-Ass is on a 17-day vacation, because he doesn’t have the stamina of Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton.
7. When Trump promised to rain down fire and fury on North Korea, we decided to rain down KITTENS on Wonkette.
8. Sounds like all James Comey’s FBI buddies have LOTS of #TrumpSecrets to tell Robert Mueller!
9. Robert Mueller to Paul Manafort: KNOCK KNOCK, MOTHERFUCKER!
10. And finally, some Men Going Their Own Way did some REALLY INTERESTING penis math about how if you laid all the dick their not-girlfriends had taken in their lives end-to-end, it would be a long line of dick.
So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!
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You are very good! MOAR BABY PICTURES!
Yours in Christ,
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