SHARE
Mortals, what fools these Lords be!

CNN shitcanned its resident Trump humper, Jeffrey Lord, on Thursday, not because he’s a brainless puddle of Trump sycophancy and suet, but because he made what he insists was a perfectly innocent Nazi joke on the Twitters. The New York Times reports Lord got the news by phone while being fetched to CNN’s studio in Manhattan in a town car from his home in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania:

After Mr. Lord, 66, learned that his contract had been severed, the car turned around. “I didn’t have to walk; I thanked them for that,” he said in an telephone interview from the road.

Not that he’d stoop to being petty or anything (we’ll confess, we initially misread that as “a telephone interview from the side of the road” and thought the Grey Lady was making a funny; instead it was just making an typo).

Lord got the boot after a dumb Twitter exchange with Media Matters for America president Angelo Carusone, the target of a recent Lord rant accusing Media Matters of “fascism” for listing Sean Hannity’s advertisers. If there’s one thing the fascists were notorious for, it was organizing consumer boycotts of those they disapproved of. How well the world remembers Papiernacht, when Hitler’s brownshirts published articles suggesting advertisers withdraw their support of Jewish businesses.

When Carusone pointed out that Lord’s tweet promoting a follow-up article had misspelled his name, Lord got snotty, because JUST LOOK at the liberal fascist bossing him around like some kind of Spelling Nazi!

Only the worst sort of fascist would demand his name be spelled correctly, after all. But even though Lord was Only Joking, CNN apparently saw the opportunity to save some money on its payroll, and gave Lord the jackboot, issuing a brief statement saying “Nazi salutes are indefensible […] Jeffrey Lord is no longer with the network.”

Now, we’ll confess to just the slightest, tiniest bit of sympathy for Lord, here. The joke itself was clearly not an endorsement of Nazism, and not nearly as good a reason to dump Lord as, say, the totality of everything he’s ever said on-air. It’s likely CNN was looking for an excuse to dump him, and happily moved as soon as Lord gave them one.

As the New York Times reported back in April, Lord was hired after Donald Trump Himself recommended him, and Lord was unfailingly loyal to all of Trump’s positions, even when that required him to bend himself into insane pretzel postures.

Consider one of Lord’s earliest attempts to clarify stuff for the Great Man, after the first Republican primary debate. After Trump said Megyn Kelly was “bleeding from her wherever,” Lord explained that anyone who thought that could even remotely mean Trump thought she was having a visit from Aunt Flo was obviously insane:

What has followed has been 48-hours of the most disgusting pieces of political analyses I have ever heard in my life. A pluperfect example of the insight of Hitler’s Minister of Propaganda Joseph Goebbels: “If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it.” There was not a word said, not a hint, not a suggestion, that Donald Trump ever said Megyn Kelly asked her lead question of him because she was menstruating. Say again… not… a… word. Not one. This is — there is no other word for it — a Goebbels-esque lie.

Oh, lookie that! He was calling people Nazis from the get-go. Imagine that, what a huge surprise. (Also, “pluperfect” is a verb tense. It does not mean “really really perfecter than perfect, like so totally perfect.”)

Now that he’s been on the receiving end of a “You’re Fired!” Lord says he’s received a supportive phone call from Steve Bannon, who told him to “keep fighting,” to which Lord bravely — and we’d like to believe, tearfully — replied, “Absolutely.”

Lord also — and here’s another big surprise — accused CNN of being exactly like You-Know-Who: “The notion that you cannot make fun of people who use Nazi tactics — they’re caving to the Nazi tactics,” said Lord, who we almost think may never have heard of any other objectionable political movements, ever. He also accused CNN of having “caved on the First Amendment of all things,” which means his understanding of the First Amendment is as thorough as his understanding of fascism.

But don’t you go crying for Jeffrey Lord, victim of the Nazis. He told the New York Times he’s doing fine, just fine, even with all the stormtroopers nipping at his heels:

Mr. Lord said that he had already received an inquiry from a prospective employer, and mentioned an interest in appearing on conservative talk radio. He said he was also close to finalizing a deal for a book “about the president and the fights he has with various forces.” The tentative title: “The Lion at the Gate.”

But it’s all been worth it, he says, since his indefartable defenses of the Best President in the World have made him famous:

“I’m recognized all over the place,” he said. In Manhattan this week, he added, “I was stopped six or seven times by people wanting selfies with me.”

People want selfies with a guy who’s on TV? That surely proves the justice of his cause. Say, you know who else liked posing for photos with the common people? In any case, don’t think you’ve heard the last of Jeffrey Lord. He told the Times he’s “written seven unpublished novels,” which sure as hell sounds like a threat to unleash the things on an unsuspecting world. And if no one publishes them, that’s more proof the fascists are everywhere.

Yr Wonkette relies on your donations to keep us oppressing people like fascists. Please click the “Donate” clicky. You know, Hitler clicked a lot of links, too.

[NYT / NYT / American Spectator / Jeffrey Lord on Twitter / Fox News]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Msgr_MΩment

    Lord of the Lies?

    • The Wanderer

      He’d be Piggy.

    • (((fka_donnie_d)))

      DingDingDing We have a winner!

  • The Wanderer

    Good riddance to bad rubbish (for which read: He’s got a soft bed in InfoWars or FOX).

    • Mr. Blobfish

      He’ll wind up at the RNC.

  • Seamus Romney
    • TakingAmes

      Puppies hugging!!!

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Awwwww!

    • armed_bears

      You live in Dogtown?!1!

    • calliecallie

      They’re so beautiful! Doggie nice times.

  • TakingAmes

    We did, after all, determine yesterday that the publishing empire has it out for conservatives.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    “I’m recognized all over the place,” he said.

    “Excuse me, are you Jeffrey Lord?”
    “Why yes, I am.”
    “KABONG!”
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1d0ab7044ca989d371dd9129e2466a7ebf300f60f100d390511cdc6a37566ed5.gif

    • (((fka_donnie_d)))

      A use for wwe, who’d a thunk it?

    • Bobathonic

      Must credit Quick Draw McGraw, aka El Kabong.

      • TundraGrifter

        “Hey, Babaloo – Are you alright?”

  • RobKanC

    Kudos to CNN but also fuck them a little. Seriously, a nazi joke was the most indefensible thing coming out of his mouth?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      True point. Apparently, if CNN has standards that it exempted Lord from up until he demonstrated his knowledge of German.

      • eggs ackly-wright

        CNN owes the country an apology for putting him on the air in the first place.

        • (((fka_donnie_d)))

          Hey, Reagan relics gotta eat too :(

          If anyone owes us an apology it’s Ronnie for hiring all those assholes.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    They’ve dared not to publish his seven novels? That’s a goddamn lawless infringement of his first amendment rights, as he understands them. (He does not understand them.)
    Anyway, who is this guy? I never heard of him until he started defending the indefensible.

    • Three Finger Salute

      He’ll just go through Createspace like Milo Hitlerpotamus and Lauren Southern, the she-wolf of the Rebel Media SS, did. Which, ironically, is part of Amazon, which everyone knows is also exactly the same as the Washington Post.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        All the upfists for “Hitlerpotamus”!!

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    God, I wish he was in Germany when he did that:

    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-40842853

    • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

      something something Basil Fawlty something

      • SeeTrain65

        “Don’t mention the war. I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it!”

  • proudgrampa

    “(Also, “pluperfect” is a verb tense. It does not mean “really really perfecter than perfect, like so totally perfect.”)”

    I get all my news, weather, and grammar instruction from Wonkette!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Wonkette was pluperfect before being pluperfect was cool.

    • TundraGrifter

      Isn’t that word in the Billy Joe Shaver song “I’m Just An Ole Chunk of Coal?”

      • ken_kukec

        If only ol’ Billy Joe “had been just an ol’ chunk of coal,” then he’d’ve been pluperfect, too.

        • TundraGrifter

          Turns out it was John Anderson and a mondegreen to boot:

          Hey I’m just an old chunk of coal
          But I’m gonna be a diamond some day
          I’m gonna grow and glow till I’m so blue pure perfect
          I’m gonna put a smile on everybody’s face

          Now, where’s that bathroom on the right?

        • TundraGrifter

          Hey – Billy Joe had a good Christian raisin’ and an eighth grade education, and he ain’t a gonna be treated thataway!

  • Joe Beese
  • Mr. Blobfish

    “The Lying at the Gate.”

  • mardam422

    I didn’t say that.
    You misunderstood what I said.
    Someone hacked my account.
    It was a joke.
    I’m sorry if you were offended.

    The five stages of Twitter guilt.

  • dslindc

    A town car from Harrisburg to Manhattan? Saving more money by not doing that anymore, also too. Fuck that guy.

    • proudgrampa

      Really.

      According to Mapquest, that’s almost a 3 hour drive! WTF?

      • You still use mapquest? Mapquest still exists?

        • proudgrampa

          What? You mean no one uses AOL and Netscape anymore, either???

          • Fun fact: AOL still has over 1 million dial-up subscribers. Well, they did a few years back when I discovered that fun fact.

          • proudgrampa

            Believe it or not, my kid sister still has an “aol.com” email address…

          • Miss Dill

            I do too. Same email address for 21 years now…works very well, thank you very much. ; )

  • DerrickWildcat

    He was a punching bag. Hey, how good is he at sexual harassment? There may be a job opening at Fox really soon.

  • spangled

    it is MY FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHT to be a paid CNN contributor who sucks Trump’s lil dick all the time.

    I am suing CNN because they are censoring me by not giving me a job.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    I have the utmost faith in CNN’s ability to ensure that the asshat still gets plenty of airtime, contract or no.

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    Best.

    Title.

    Ever.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    He was just attacking cultural marxist memes you guys! So unfair!

    • dslindc

      CNN is clearly drowning in cosmopolitan bias!

      • proudgrampa

        I, for one, am SHOCKED.

        • kareemachan

          SHOCKED, I SAY!!!!1!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Deputy Führer Bannon called up Lord at home and offered his sympathy and shit. No word on if he offered the Comms Director job to him, though. Might have to clear that through the asshole Marine general.

    • therblig

      “Sorry Jeffy, but Daddy Oorah says I can’t hire you” – Lil Donnie Trumpy

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Book him, Dan-O.

    Update: The years have not been kind to the stars of the original 5-0.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Especially since at least three of them are dead. Khigh Dhiegh (Wo Fat, McGarrett’s nemesis) died in 1991; Jack Lord (thankfully, no relation to Jeff) died in 1998; and James MacArthur (Danno) died in 2010, the year the remake premiered on CBS.

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    “The New York Times reports Lord got the news by phone while being fetched to CNN’s studio in Manhattan in a town car from his home in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania”

    Wait, wut? That’s a 3 and half hour drive! Don’t tell me CNN drives his ass back and forth from Pennsylvania every day.

    • cmd resistor

      Seems like he does a lot of remotes from his home, where there is an irritating photo of Reagan on the wall right behind his head.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    If your employers can spring for a town car from Harrisburg to NYC, wtf are you doing living in Harrisburg?!

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Conservatives love nothing more than wasting other people’s money

      • Ghenghis McCann

        “Because I’m worth it.” (With no apologies to a certain firm.)

  • Let me guess… his novels are about an older totally handsome reporter that all the ladies throw themselves at who uncovers a liberal plot to destroy freedom, democracy, and the President, and only by teaming up with and sexing a hot woman half his age can he outwit the nefarious forces of equality, social justice, and humanism and save conservative America from the scourge of a second black president.

    • TundraGrifter

      E. Howard Hunt libelz!

      • therblig

        “Her nipples were like Gemstones”

        h/t to National Lampoon, I forget when, but in the 70’s

      • Little Lulu Ω

        I’ve actually read two Howard Hunt novels. He wrote under a pseudonym, so I didn’t know it was him until much later. Bought them on EBay, so he didn’t profit from my purchase. And, yes, they’re terrible – nothing happens. His one attempt at being “hard-boiled” was when he wrote, “She was tougher than a two-dollar steak,” which I liked. Otherwise, his books were shit.

        • TundraGrifter

          That’s an old saying – I think Coach Jim Harbaugh uses it.

          Without bothering to actually check, I think Hard Case Crime reprinted one his. Some of the books they brought back to life are first rate (Charles Williams, for example, and David Dodge) others were OP for a very good reason.

          • Little Lulu Ω

            Several of his were reprinted in paperback, I think, with his name prominently displayed “E. Howard Hunt – writing as…” Saw them for sale on eBay later. Mine was an original, but it was still worthless.

          • TundraGrifter

            Hard Case Crime reprinted “House Dick.” Perhaps the title was more appropriate than the author intended.

            Along with some excellent books they have a few stinkers – “Borderline” is one of the worst novels I’ve ever slogged through. So bad.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Meh. Too derivative.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Those Who Trespass?

  • TundraGrifter

    “I was stopped six or seven times by people wanting selfies with me.”

    “Hey, Martha! I just ran into that dumbfuck that’s on the TV’s.”

  • x111e7thst

    Ein Trump, ein Reich , sieben Romane

  • Well, the upside is that now there is one less reason for me to throw something at the tellie every night.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      But, how long will it take for you to not have a reason to throw things at the tellie? Therein lies the problem.

      • I throw soft chewie things at the tellie and the dogs fetch them and bring them back to me. As a result, the dogs are likely the only sentient beings who are disappointed in the firing of Lord.

    • therblig

      did the penguin explode?

      • Invisible Bunyip

        At least it didn’t lay an egg down the back of the set.

    • cmd resistor

      Oh they will find someone equally throw-at-able to replace him.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Of all the trump suck-ups, he is literally the worst.

    • TundraGrifter

      That’s either a very low or very high bar.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        “It’s suck ups, all the way down.”

  • HazooToo

    OK actually OT: Can someone explain what the IDC is? https://twitter.com/fawfulfan/status/896051878106091522

    • TJ Barke

      Doesn’t ring a bell.

    • mardam422

      International Dance Challenge?

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      The Independent Democratic Conference. It’s a splinter group of New York Democratic politicians who aligned with the Republicans back in 2011 when Republicans took control of the New York State Senate. Basically, it’s a bunch of really conservative Dems who would rather work with Republicans while still having the electoral advantages of being Dems in a blue state.

      • OutOfOrbit

        ah: neo-lib’s

      • Oblios_Cap

        Well, it appears I agree with him.

      • HazooToo

        Thank you! I think I did read something about that a while back. A small group billed as “bipartisan”, except the only ones who ‘compromised’ anything were the Dems, and always in favor of the Republicans. Yeah, they can go to hell, then.

        • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

          There was a little scandal in May, I think, where some of these IDC people got a little bump of money similar to what they would get if they held a committee chairmanship. Despite Republicans holding the committee chairs. Turns out the staff falsified the paperwork in order to get them the money and Republican leadership signed off. The state AG is investigating.

  • TJ Barke

    Why do these people that really like naziism keep comparing people they don’t like to nazis? Are their brains just completely broked?

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Yes.

    • Suttree

      Recognizing cognitive dissonance is not one of their strong suits.

  • Ricky Gay

    Lord works in mysterious ways

    • (((fka_donnie_d)))

      Or, not anymore, but iswydt

    • Ricky Gay

      Edit: worked

      • (((fka_donnie_d)))

        Arguably not that mysterious

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    And that caption is also spectacular.

  • FlownΩver

    Let not thine Ass be struck as thou passest through the Portal.

  • laughingnome

    I hope CNN really lords it over him

  • TundraGrifter

    Jeffrey Lord is just Roger Stone with a job.

    Until he lost that job, of course. Now he’s just Roger Stone. Although with considerably less apparent legal jeopardy.

    • I honestly didn’t realize that they were two different people until this article.

    • MizzMazz

      Not as snappy a dresser, either ;).

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yeah, ol Roge sure does like playin dress up, don’t he?

        • MizzMazz

          Can’t say I blame him, though no amount of fun clothes can hide what an asshole he is.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          I always say if you want to be taken seriously, dress like a 1930s mobster.

    • cmd resistor

      Or, to put it another way, Roger Stone without a Nixon tattoo.

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        Roger Stone at least has the circus freak potential to fall back on.

        “See the man with a second asshole!”

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))
    • therblig

      didn’t fuckabee already twit this, but with a picture?

    • Internet Hitler

      Another tweet from Grant Guam.

      • (((fka_donnie_d)))

        Were you tying to post a tweed? It didn’t make it

    • (((fka_donnie_d)))
  • ManchuCandidate

    Goodwin’s Law has been revoked due to irony overdose.

  • DerrickWildcat

    I’m surprised nobody has mentioned the time Cooper Anderson said he could shit on the table and Lord would eat it he were told it was Trump’s. I don’t remember exactly, but it was close to that.

  • Anna Rompage

    Let me get this straight, CNN has had Lord on forever it seems, gives him carte Blanche to spread all sorts of demeaning and derogatory propoganda about a wide swath of minorities & liberals, and it was a Nazi joke that was the straw the broke the camels back?

    FFS, the truth is stranger than fiction…

  • jesterpunk

    God Dammit Trump supporters. first Harrisburg gets called a war zone by Trump then we have to have Jeffrey Lord living here? Haven’t we been punished enough already?

  • MizzMazz
    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Pigs are now complaining that they are being associated with him.

    • Oblios_Cap

      That’s bad even for Georgia.

      • MizzMazz

        What really topped it off is how he giggled about Sanctuary Cities. Like this is all some kind of joke. Well, Buddy, no one else in there was laughing.

    • MynameisBlarney

      What fuckin’ piece of shit.

    • (((fka_donnie_d)))

      Hoooo boy.

    • (((fka_donnie_d)))

      God, I hope even his wife will stop fucking him (if he’s married).

    • Internet Hitler

      haw haw rape so funny

  • OutOfOrbit

    good for CNN, but they still have a long way to go before i watch them again

  • DainBramage

    It would be nice if CNN pulled its head out of its ass and stopped hiring guys like Jeffrey Lord in the first place.

  • Oblios_Cap

    So the reich-wingers are saying that CNN used Lord’s name in vain? Oh, my!

  • therblig

    if only he had said “Sig Ruman!”, he still could have worked in his nazi joke.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c862de157641b727bc57e511f58e6b883bb9bfb0943b646a7ae7e48c68fb4f3e.jpg

  • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

    He said he was also close to finalizing a deal for a book “about the president and the fights he has with various forces.” The tentative title: “The Lion Liar at the Gate.”

    FIFY

    • Internet Hitler

      Mine was “Lyin’ at the Gate” but yours also acceptable and first. But not the last. Books by Trump Supporters belong under ‘fiction.’

      • Raan

        They belong in “Toiletries”.

  • After Mr. Lord, 66, learned that his contract had been severed, the car turned around. “I didn’t have to walk; I thanked them for that,” he said in an telephone interview from the road.

    I bet they we’re going to give him a ride home as a courtesy…

    But quickly got tired of hearing his shit and suddenly remembered they needed to go in the opposite direction.
    https://img0.etsystatic.com/029/0/7141580/il_340x270.562345864_ht8o.jpg

    From the side of the road

    • H0mer0

      but “if [he sees] a faded sign at the side of the road saying 16 miles to go….” No way I’d show up at that Love Shack,

  • susan_g

    Just making room for Bill O’Reilly.

  • SayItWithWookies

    When CNN doesn’t even think it needs to keep a token fascist on the payroll, you know the Assmouth administration has hit a serious tipping point.

  • Juan de Fuca

    Say, you know who else liked posing for photos with the common people?

    Bill Murray?

    • Nobody would ever believe that.

    • PubOption

      Arthur Scargill?

    • SeeTrain65

      Greta Garbo?

    • Raan

      Gabriel Iglasias?

  • scubaix

    I can hate these douchebags pretty hard but he was right early on and along the way on the ascendancy of trump. And isn’t as face-shatteringly dumb as Katrina Pierson.

    Watching him was like a nail being pounded in your junk but at least we could say were alerted to the fact that a nail was actually being pounded into our junk.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    “Don’t worry about the ratings” Zucker told the board at CNN, “we’ve got another dozen punching bags in the wings just like him.”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    He also accused CNN of having “caved on the First Amendment of all things”

    I don’t even care if this has already been posted:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a975490093fda5975704034b0d6f5033bf41a39c7d4d4a9fb925e1385f755b89.png

  • Three Finger Salute

    This isn’t going to go well. It’s only going to fuel the fire and fury of the Twitler Youth’s conspiracy theory that the (((lügenpresse))) as they call it is run by cosmopolitan Jews who seek to suppress “dank redpill memes” and free speech. We’re in terminal-stage Weimar mode, with an emboldened, energetic far-right easily stomping their weaksauce mainstream opposition, and exploiting the actions of the equally radical antifas as “the violent left.” There’s an actual Nazi rally going on in Charlottesville, N.C. tomorrow. The DNC is incoherent beyond any message of “Trump sucks.” Which he does, but it’s not enough to state what you’re against; you have to have some clear plan of what you’re for. What the fuck has happened to my country?

    • (((fka_donnie_d)))

      Not that ‘m the biggest booster of the DNC, but it doesn’t need a message right now. There are no elections. It needs to (as someone else put it) shut up and collect money. Re “it’s not enough to be against Trump”, yes it is. Removing Trumpism from the body politic and innoculating ourselves against it is priority 1, 2, and 3. So, voting rights and election reform are Job 1. Everything else (except abortion rights and trans rights) is secondary.

  • Mavenmaven

    Of course Lord is from Central PA.

    • SeeTrain65

      “Pennsyltucky.” Pennsylvania’s “Ohiobama.”

  • Walter Wellstone

    One by one they fall. Hannity should be next.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      If this thing accelerates, we could quickly reach peak conservative pundit saturation among right-wing media, leaving no available positions for later firings to transition into.

  • Bitter Scribe

    If there’s one thing the fascists were notorious for, it was organizing consumer boycotts of those they disapproved of.

    Actually, they kind of did, although their “boycotts” consisted of stationing brownshirt thugs outside Jewish businesses and beating up anyone who tried to enter. Which is exactly the same thing as taunting someone for not spelling your name correctly.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      In fairness, that is what future historian John Gill would call “the most efficient way to run a boycott Earth ever knew”.

  • jesterpunk

    Things that are facist according to the right.

    Declaration of Independence

    US Constitution

    Court rulings they dont like

    Not providing them with a place to spread hate speech with no repercussions

    Not spending money on their companies

    Things that are not facist

    Actual Facism.

    • marxalot

      Also fascist:
      The Statue of Liberty.

      • jesterpunk

        Damn how did I miss that one?

        • dshwa

          It involves twitter, Vogue magazine, Jennifer Lawrence, and the Statue of liberty.

      • TakingAmes

        And/or Vogue magazine and/or the publishing industry.

  • marxalot

    Sorry, this one went over my head. How is Lord’s response a “joke”? There is no punchline, no ironic context, no doubletalk Swedish. It’s “stupid” sure, but Bevis and Butthead to the contrary notwithstanding, “stupid” doesn’t equal “funny.”

    • It’s the go-to defense for idiots like Carney, Damore, and Lord… Three very public right-wing meltdowns in one week.

      • puredog

        And Bolling.

        • H0mer0

          at least the punchline ” Rats! Big fucking rats with dicks this long!” is funny enough to stand on its own.

  • theblackdog

    What’s the pool on him being hired for Trump TV Propaganda

    • dshwa

      Already taken off the board.

      • theblackdog

        Did he get hired?

        • dshwa

          No, but the bookies take things off tgr board when it’s a near certainty.

    • cmd resistor

      I was actually thinking White House Spokesperson.

  • Erala Contratista

    That boy just ain’t right…braggin’ on his 7 unpublished novels like that. Unless it’s a threat?
    Nah, Noot managed to get one “novel” published, to no acclaim.
    Sad.
    Failed.

    • I understand that there’s a way to self-publish on the intertubes, and someone might shell out a buck or two to read it. Or just pirate the sucker.

      • Erala Contratista

        So he is so weak and failed he didn’t even self publish???
        Even I, a notorious digital ignoramus know about self publishing.
        The boy is even less right in the head.
        Nothing makes sense any more when the same insanely dull political pomposity is just copied from the 60’s, 50’s 40’s and on ad infinitum :-P

        • puredog

          He wants the book tours and infinite selfies. You need a publishing house for that.

          • Erala Contratista

            Thanks!
            Forgot about those goodies.
            He’s still not right, that boy.

          • theCryptofishist

            He can go in with Milo and they can have their own imprint.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    He can join Bill (what-was-his-name?) on his youtube channel.

    • JustDon’tSayDignity

      Might need to show a little more cleavage to get an interview, though.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Hah! But that J-Lord sure can su…uh…get stains on his blue dress.

  • Juan de Fuca

    I heard a rumor that Tarantino was trying to get Christopher Waltz to play Lord’s character in his new movie about Trump’s surrogates, Vainglorious Basterds.

    • SDGeoff3

      That’s rich!

  • The Librarian

    Oh, gee, none of the “right” thinkers ever staged boycotts of teevee shows or anything else they don’t like. They’re just jealous, because so few of their boycotts ever make a dent.

    Who else thinks Lord probably dresses in Nazi regalia and prances in front of the mirror when he’s alone?

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Parenthetically… I’ve noticed that these particular cosplayers always go for the classy black SS uniforms, but never the workaday Wehrmacht uniforms. I’ve also noticed that few if any of said SS cosplayers would ever have passed the SS’ rather… stringent initial screening.

      • The Librarian

        Of course. Everybody wants to be the big Kahuna, not the worker bee. It’s no fun playing murderin’ and torturin’ if you can’t be in charge.

  • Edith Prickly
    • H0mer0

      he looks too benign and kindly (to caricature Jeffrey Lord) but I get nostalgic for the shows with that type of animation so that warrants an upvote.

  • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

    Seven unpublished novels? Are they on ao3 or ff dot net?

    • Invisible Bunyip

      bet his kudos counts are lousy.

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        Just for that you get kudos AND a comment.

  • Duke

    So many of these media personalities are completely expendable. The cable channels need to fill 158 hours each week. Re-runs help but the parade of blithering character actors is tiresome. And they should remember that.

  • Empress of the Iguana People

    Lion at the Gate? More like weasel in the chicken coop

  • Me not sure

    “A Midsummer Night’s Dumb”. Extra credit for the Shakespeare shakeup, Dok.👍

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      It’s pluperfect.

  • SeeTrain65

    “I’m recognized all over the place,” he said. In Manhattan this week, he added, “I was stopped six or seven times by people wanting selfies with me.”

    “And,” Lord continued, “half of them didn’t even punch me in the face!”

  • Run2Live

    Maybe defending the indefensible Trump finally drove the Mad Hatter nucking futs.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c59bc480743af317b3330d6f3306497c7584532eb360b298f90565e69146516c.png

    • Raan

      Turns out, defending indefensible policies carries just as much risk of brain damage as mercury vapor.

  • cmd resistor

    I have to agree it was kind of a dumb reason to fire him. They should have fired him for being an asshole long time ago. Now they’ve made him a martyr. But, ha ha, “pluperfect.”

    • Persistent Demme

      I wonder if they were just looking for an excuse.

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    It says something, I’m not sure what, that there’s a market for self published dinosaur on human pornography, but no market for Lords novels. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d32f769c97136fc07b6cca43e058f3f1eede14347acbd0d3733a0620682410c9.jpg

    • I bet Lord’s novels ARE dinosaur porn.

      Taken by the Trumpceratops

      • JustDon’tSayDignity

        “Bronto Bottom, the ‘Saur Who Could Take It All!”

        • SDGeoff3

          “Tyrannosaurus Sex”?

          • theCryptofishist

            “She Had to Have Hadrosaurs” with the follow up “And All the Allosaurs, Also”

    • The secret of dinosaur porn (as with werewolf and Bigfoot porn) is that it’s bestiality porn that isn’t REALLY bestiality, if you get my drift.

  • For all of their talk about Marxism, these creeps sure do hate the Free Market.

  • whitroth

    That was just *so* declasse of him. Everyone knows, or is supposed to, that we love Der Fuhrer, we just don’t *say* it. The rabble might be distracted from our advertisers….

  • Carole

    The word he was looking for was super-perfect. But I wouldn’t expect a Nazi to know the plus que parfait tense.

    • H0mer0

      like that old “Schweppes” commercial which took me a while to understand :”let all other things be ordinary, the taste of Schweppes makes it extra-ordinary” and I wondered why someone would want something to be even more ordinary, not realizing that they meant the opposite (I was very young.) Prefixes, how do they work?

  • OneWhiteWhisker

    “Mr. Lord said that he had already received an inquiry from a prospective employer”

    Trump TV gets a new announcer!

  • BearWithPreExistingVotes

    New Communion section of the liturgy: “You are the Lord? My God. Eat me.”

  • puredog

    “the First Amendment of all things. . .”
    Wait, I get it, that’s like the Internet of All Things. Okay, I. . .I. . .I still don’t know what the fuck he’s talking about.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Neither does he, so it’s fine.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    “he had already received an inquiry from a prospective employer”

    “Hi this is Media Matters, we’d like to hire you for a job or two! One is to to go fuck yourself, and the other is to eat a bag of salted rat dicks! We pay really well! What do you say, Mr. Lord?”

    • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

      “As I perform both tasks willingly and frequently, and since they say do what you love and the money will come, I accept your most generous offer.

      “Sincerely,

      “J. Lord (Of All He Surveys)”

  • Persistent Demme

    My favorite memory:
    Watching the Lordster tell Van Jones that the KKK was a left-wing organization.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I’m starting to think I’m on mescaline…EVERY damned day. It’s crazy town in America.

      • Pisto75666

        Wishing you were, now that’s a whole other thing.

  • Iron Monkey

    Steve Bannon, who told him to “keep fighting

    Keep fighting. Just don’t look to me for a job, I got my own problems.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    You’ve outdone yourself with that headline Dok.

  • Komsumverweigerer Ron

    CNN moves ever-so-slowly, but at least in the right direction. For now.

  • Pisto75666

    I’m probably the only one but, if I got a phone call from Steve Bannon, I wouldn’t talk about it.

    • If I got a phone call from Steve Bannon, I would record it and transcribe it and do voice modulations for the fun of it and get him to admit to all sorts of things and then hand it to WaPo free of charge.
      But only after I autotuned some highlights for the you tube

      • Pisto75666

        I would watch the absolute hell out of that. Then share it everywhere I could think of.

  • H0mer0

    It wasn’t even funny. He got fired over a weak fucking retort which was nonsensical in response to Angelo’s pointing out his spelling error.

  • Bill Patterson
  • Bill Patterson
  • JD Mulvey

    Do you mean to tell me that every time that lying fuckface appeared on CNN to speak his lies, the network sent a car all the effin way to effin Harrisburg to pick him up?

    My opinion of CNN has improbably fallen lower.

  • Zyxomma

    I haven’t heard the last of Jeffrey Lord? Actually, this is the first time I’ve ever read his name. Next time you write about him, Dok (or any Wonkette writer), you’ll have to remind me who he is/was, because he was a nonentity to me before this article.

    • blaid droog

      I got to say I had never heard of him before last week myself. The hair. I thought he must be a smarmy televangelist.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Seven unpublished novels? And you can get any pluperfect piece of shit published if you can slap a recognizable name on the cover. He must be a really shitty writer.

    • Prolly. You know what they say, you should only write about what you know…

  • JCfromNC

    Actually, pluperfect does mean “more than perfect” as well as being another term for past perfect verb tense. So you’ll have to settle for mocking him for the content of his speech rather than that particular word choice.
    https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/pluperfect
    https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/us/pluperfect

  • Well, danby dunby! If the pluperfect ain’t one of my favoritest verb tenses, I don’t know what is one of my favoritest verb tenses. I hadn’t had a favoritest verb tense before I had discovered the pluperfect. That said, it saddens my heart to report that pluperfect can in all actuality and in a defiance of the Ph.D. Doc has be used to mean more than perfect. I hadn’t known until I looked it up in the dictionary oh these many years ago. This here is copied and pasted from dictionary.com:

    pluperfect

    [ploo-pur-fikt]

    Word Origin

    adjective

    1. Grammar. perfect with respect to a point of reference in past time, as had done in He had done it when I came.
    designating a tense or other verb formation or construction with such meaning, as Latin portāveram “I had carried.”.

    2. more than perfect:
    He spoke the language with pluperfect precision.

  • Lisacmckinnon

    Creations47b

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! :!ad197d:
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    :!ad197:
    ➽➽
    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash487GroupLook/Pay$97/Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::!ad197..,.

  • shocktreatment

    Lord gets the axe for a Nazi “joke”…

    Kinda like Paul Newman getting an Oscar for The Color of Money, and not say, The Verdict or Hud.

    Oh well, as they say, “at least he got it”. Newman, the statue, JayLord, the boot.

  • Sakonyachen

    “And if no one publishes them, that’s more proof the fascists are everywhere.”

    Today I learned that despite their more massive flaws, fascists have taste in literature.

  • Sakonyachen

    Stupid Lame Stream Bleedia, always thawing people’s freeze peach!

Previous articleOf Course Trump Loves This Fucking Bonkers NSC Memo Calling For Civil War
Next articleTrump Thanks Putin For Spanking America, Asks Him To Do It Harder