We here at Wonkette are beginning to worry about Dana Loesch. We know, we know, we double checked our morality to be sure that this was something we have to do, but we really think someone should go and check on her. She’s been recording increasingly unhinged videos for the NRA, and she’s starting to say increasingly weird things, and she doesn’t seem to understand that her words and actions might have consequences. So, in reverse order!
Last night (because Twitter is where we do civics and public business these days) Congresswoman Kathleen Rice (D-NY) said that it was possible that both Loesch and the NRA were getting towards the part of “clenched fist of truth” rhetoric that might cross a line towards becoming a domestic threat. Loesch, predictably, overreacted:
So it turns out that the lady who makes videos and writes books about how much she loves guns, and how many guns she loves, and who actually names specific people that she’s “coming for” cannot FOR THE LIFE OF HER figure out why that might be taken as threatening in any way. (It is important to note here that Loesch completely lost her shit after people started mocking her for the last video she made, where she threatened to “fisk the old grey lady” which she does insist means “fact-check the NYT really hard” though anyone who does political ad work knows that the average American reads at a sixth-grade level, so you don’t use a homophone for “fist.” That’s why the BBC radio studio in London has a whole wall full of words you shouldn’t say on the radio because they’re homophones. “Punt,” for example, or “pitch,” or any number of sports-related words that sound like swears.)
But that’s last week. Let’s move up to yesterday and today. Loesch, an NRA spokesperson, has finally decided that now’s a great time to talk shit about Philando Castile, since the NRA had absolutely nothing to say about the extrajudicial police shooting of a legal gun owner for over a year and then slandered a dead man.
Guess why the NRA hasn’t said fuck-all about a black guy getting shot by cops for carrying a firearm that he had a permit for? IT WAS THE DEMON WEED.
Loesch’s argument here is that since Castile had marijuana in his system, he wasn’t carrying lawfully. Here’s a few reasons why that’s some racist ass-covering bullshit excuse: To begin with, you can’t just look at someone and tell whether they’ve got THC in their system unless they are currently so blazed they can’t function. Castile was shot because a cop thought he was reaching for the gun that he’d just said he was legally entitled to carry, not because he was so high he couldn’t carry safely.
Then there’s the fact that the NRA routinely supports gun owners who’re openly violating laws, and in fact spends oodles of money trying to get guns into the hands of criminals. Yet just a few days ago, there were protesters arrested in Ferguson whose guns were confiscated. Police are still holding them, with no indication when they might be returned. FUCKING WEIRDLY the NRA hasn’t been falling all over themselves to help! Now, might that be because those protesters were black? It’s impossible to say for sure but damn if it don’t look like the NRA isn’t an anti-racist organization!
But let’s not get caught up in arguing facts with someone incapable of understanding them. Let’s talk instead about what an absolute garbage human being you have to be to think it’s a good idea, in this political climate, to spew filth and insanity on behalf of felons and denigrate a neighborhood hero. She’s a toilet-headed numpty, a moderately gifted wreck of human flotsam, a minimally capable barking moonbat that couldn’t logic her way out of an open field with three compasses and a Sherpa, someone so morally incompetent that I’m ashamed to share a species with her. The woman could suck a whole swamp through a straw and tell you it tasted like cheesecake. She’s a barely talented over-actress so emotionally stunted she thinks it’s appropriate to whine about her own treatment while whipping her knuckle-dragging fans into a violent frenzy. She’s a cumberground of such epic intensity that I’m surprised atoms don’t consistently annihilate near her just to get away. I don’t even want to tell my kids about the existence of such a person, because I want to raise them to believe that humanity isn’t a cesspool of selfishness and violence. No, really, here’s the woman “performing” her “job.” That she takes money for.
So anyway, this is why we’re starting to worry about Dana Loesch. Because she’s really starting to show signs of senility. She lists her age as 38, but there is no way in hell the woman in that video is in her thirties. You don’t learn to be that bitter before 40. I know people who came back from combat with more life in their eyes.
We would, of course, never call anyone a liar in these pages. But we sure do worry for someone with such a tenuous grasp on truth and reason, and we don’t trust a word out of her gaping maw.
(Also we recommend better moisturizer. That HD’s a bitch.)
Keep your writers from having to whore themselves out in sad little videos to make the rent: