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We here at Wonkette are beginning to worry about Dana Loesch. We know, we know, we double checked our morality to be sure that this was something we have to do, but we really think someone should go and check on her. She’s been recording increasingly unhinged videos for the NRA, and she’s starting to say increasingly weird things, and she doesn’t seem to understand that her words and actions might have consequences. So, in reverse order!

Last night (because Twitter is where we do civics and public business these days) Congresswoman Kathleen Rice (D-NY) said that it was possible that both Loesch and the NRA were getting towards the part of “clenched fist of truth” rhetoric that might cross a line towards becoming a domestic threat. Loesch, predictably, overreacted:

So it turns out that the lady who makes videos and writes books about how much she loves guns, and how many guns she loves, and who actually names specific people that she’s “coming for” cannot FOR THE LIFE OF HER figure out why that might be taken as threatening in any way. (It is important to note here that Loesch completely lost her shit after people started mocking her for the last video she made, where she threatened to “fisk the old grey lady” which she does insist means “fact-check the NYT really hard” though anyone who does political ad work knows that the average American reads at a sixth-grade level, so you don’t use a homophone for “fist.” That’s why the BBC radio studio in London has a whole wall full of words you shouldn’t say on the radio because they’re homophones. “Punt,” for example, or “pitch,” or any number of sports-related words that sound like swears.)

But that’s last week. Let’s move up to yesterday and today. Loesch, an NRA spokesperson, has finally decided that now’s a great time to talk shit about Philando Castile, since the NRA had absolutely nothing to say about the extrajudicial police shooting of a legal gun owner for over a year and then slandered a dead man.

Guess why the NRA hasn’t said fuck-all about a black guy getting shot by cops for carrying a firearm that he had a permit for? IT WAS THE DEMON WEED.

Loesch’s argument here is that since Castile had marijuana in his system, he wasn’t carrying lawfully. Here’s a few reasons why that’s some racist ass-covering bullshit excuse: To begin with, you can’t just look at someone and tell whether they’ve got THC in their system unless they are currently so blazed they can’t function. Castile was shot because a cop thought he was reaching for the gun that he’d just said he was legally entitled to carry, not because he was so high he couldn’t carry safely.

Then there’s the fact that the NRA routinely supports gun owners who’re openly violating laws, and in fact spends oodles of money trying to get guns into the hands of criminals. Yet just a few days ago, there were protesters arrested in Ferguson whose guns were confiscated. Police are still holding them, with no indication when they might be returned. FUCKING WEIRDLY the NRA hasn’t been falling all over themselves to help! Now, might that be because those protesters were black? It’s impossible to say for sure but damn if it don’t look like the NRA isn’t an anti-racist organization!

But let’s not get caught up in arguing facts with someone incapable of understanding them. Let’s talk instead about what an absolute garbage human being you have to be to think it’s a good idea, in this political climate, to spew filth and insanity on behalf of felons and denigrate a neighborhood hero. She’s a toilet-headed numpty, a moderately gifted wreck of human flotsam, a minimally capable barking moonbat that couldn’t logic her way out of an open field with three compasses and a Sherpa, someone so morally incompetent that I’m ashamed to share a species with her. The woman could suck a whole swamp through a straw and tell you it tasted like cheesecake. She’s a barely talented over-actress so emotionally stunted she thinks it’s appropriate to whine about her own treatment while whipping her knuckle-dragging fans into a violent frenzy. She’s a cumberground of such epic intensity that I’m surprised atoms don’t consistently annihilate near her just to get away. I don’t even want to tell my kids about the existence of such a person, because I want to raise them to believe that humanity isn’t a cesspool of selfishness and violence. No, really, here’s the woman “performing” her “job.” That she takes money for.

Ann Coulter’s one fucking thing, she’s just playing second fiddle to Triumph the insult dog. Loesch is willfully urging people to violence and pretending not to. It’s sub-human behavior, and the only possible explanation that any human would display such a sheer lack of higher cognitive function is that she has trouble maintaining too many neurons at one time.

So anyway, this is why we’re starting to worry about Dana Loesch. Because she’s really starting to show signs of senility. She lists her age as 38, but there is no way in hell the woman in that video is in her thirties. You don’t learn to be that bitter before 40. I know people who came back from combat with more life in their eyes.

We would, of course, never call anyone a liar in these pages. But we sure do worry for someone with such a tenuous grasp on truth and reason, and we don’t trust a word out of her gaping maw.

(Also we recommend better moisturizer. That HD’s a bitch.)

[NYT/HuffPo]

Keep your writers from having to whore themselves out in sad little videos to make the rent:

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  • MynameisBlarney

    Who is she again?

    • FlemmishSpy

      Another grifter who trades on her looks and talks dirty to reich wingers.

      • HarryButtle

        Oooh, baby, you’ve got such a big barrel.*

        * I’m into all sorts of kinky, perverted stuff but don’t even want to think about what kinda nasty shit these people really fap to.

    • Walter Wellstone

      Eggsackly.

  • SadDemInTex

    I look forward to the time when PoC are truly the majority all over this land.

    • SnarkON

      I had been, too, up until recently. Because now I think the white minority will still oppress everyone, a la Apartheid.

      • Sedagive ’em Hell

        It certainly looks like they’re laying the groundwork for that.

      • The Wanderer

        That’ll be the final option, yes.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          But, unfortunately, not the final solution.

      • Walter Wellstone

        I hope the future looks like those adorable multi-ethnic babies you see more and more these days. They’re not white, they’re not black, they’re not Hispanic or Asian or anything. They’re all of them, Katie.

      • SadDemInTex

        Crap, I didn’t think of that

      • Mark Lungo

        Yeah, because apartheid worked so well in South Africa. Oh wait, these people don’t care about logic, history, or common sense. Never mind.

  • SadDemInTex

    Bigots gonna bigot

    • Shawn Renee Ernoehazy

      She’s a bigot spigot. I am new at this game.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    #NotAllHomophones

  • Vincent Ricola

    I know it’s already been argued, but I still hear “… we’re going to fist the New York Times…” at :27 and it still makes me laugh out loud. This lady is crazybags.

  • lowenufc

    Quick! Someone distract her with the Statue of Liberty so she gets triggered….
    probably poor choice of words.

  • she seems nice

  • MynameisBlarney

    Armed and stupid as fucking hell.

    • OrG in London

      Add drunk for a trifecta!

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Votes.

  • The Wanderer

    Dana Louche.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    That paragraph just above the video is a thing of beauty.

    • NastyBossetti

      Truly.

      • SnarkON

        Epic. In the original sense of the word.

    • AngstAMillion

      Agreed. Wanna memorize it for when I inevitably need it.

  • Walter Wellstone

    I don’t worry about Dana. She’s a non-entity to me.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “He had too much melanin in his system to be carrying legally.”
    — Dana Loesch

  • OrG in London

    Who?

  • DerrickWildcat

    No eagle or American flag on the cover is bullshit.

  • therblig

    Responsible gun owner, not under the influence. may be NSFW or NSF life.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DS9USKP0f2o

    • wide_stance_hubby

      I think I should hate myself more for enjoying that.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Is this the dipshit that nearly got himself killed?

      • OrG in London

        Um… that leaves it pretty wide open.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Well, if this is THAT video, I can’t watch it again. Once was enough for me.
          It’s pretty brutal.
          His leg gets cut off I believe.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            It is that one.

          • OrG in London

            Yep. They don’t show it. It might be edited.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Obama Deep State Lawnmower: 1, Hillbilly: 0.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Let he who has not filled his lawnmower with explosives, then blown his leg off while shooting at it, cast the first stone.

      • Antonin Dvorak

        *slowly picks up rock*

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Shrapnel is a liberal myth!”

    • Alternative Dog

      I shouldn’t be laughing at this but I can’t help myself. The top comment on the video at YouTube is “He’s a manager at IHOP now.”

      • therblig

        married to Eileen?

        • Alternative Dog

          Who’s last name is Dover?

    • There’s a whole video genre of people who blow up stuff with their impact-triggered homemade explosives, made using simple, simply-obtained ingredients, because why wouldn’t you, amirite. This isn’t the only one to go poorly.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Lucky if he didn’t set off a forest fire, too. Buttmunch.

    • cold-packs and powdered aluminum, and you too can blow your leg off.

    • SeeTrain65

      Will not watch, but from previous comments, I’m assuming (almost) the worst, like chunks of lawn mower embedded in his ass or face. … Or his ass-face.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain
      • Celtic_Gnome

        This one always makes me giggle.

        • HarryButtle

          Me too. And before long, my giggles become laughter and the next thing you know, tears are rolling down my face.

    • Grumpy Twat

      I love the fact that his “friend” saw fit to post the video on YouTube.

      • therblig

        before or after googling “tourniquet”?

  • ManchuCandidate

    Oh Dana,
    You can’t hide your crazy eyes.
    And your looks are a thin disguise.
    You know by now you should realize.
    Ain’t no way you can hide your crazy eyes

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    NRA: When dogwhistles are just too darn subtle to push more of your toxic product to a saturated marketplace.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      When the pitch sinks as low as the pedal notes on a pipe organ, I think you have to stop calling them dog whistles.

      • eggs ackly-wright

        Tee hee. You said organ.

      • Lark_in_the_AM

        How about “elephant whistles” instead?

  • Mavenmaven

    “Silly black people, gun laws are for Whites!”

  • SnarkON

    Every liberal in America needs to head to their local gun shop, buy a weapon, take a photo of themselves carrying and then tweet, “I’m pro-choice, and I’m exercising my Second Amendment right to arm myself.” “I believe in climate change, and I’m exercising my Second Amendment right to arm myself.” “Black Lives Matter, and I’m exercising my Second Amendment right to arm myself.” “I want to use the public bathroom that conforms to my gender identity, and I’m exercising my Second Amendment right to arm myself.” The second this starts happening, boom — gun control.

    • BosGrl

      Do you need to buy the gun to take a selfie? I’d rather not have it around.

      • Vincent Ricola

        Let’s buy those toy water guns instead.

        • BosGrl

          Actually – that IS a better idea. It would be more ironical-like.

          • SnarkON

            Or just go to the gun shop, pose with the gun, put it down and walk out.

          • BosGrl

            I don’t know – I kind of like the idea of posing with a Super Soaker.

      • OneYieldRegular

        Better than that, you can just buy a .45 caliber selfie-stick.

    • MynameisBlarney

      “I’m an educated, free-thinking godless heathen and I’m exercising my Second Amendment right to arm myself.”

    • Vincent Ricola

      “I like weed and I am exercising my Second Amendment right to arm myself!!!”

    • MynameisBlarney

      Also, nah…the NRA would love it because they sold more gunz.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “We don’t care why you are buying, just keep buying…”

      • SnarkON

        So buy it used. Recycling!

        • Walter Wellstone

          Buy toy guns. No revenue for gun manufacturers. It’s the message what matters.

          • SnarkON

            Actually, I don’t think so. The gun humpers are hopelessly literal-minded. I don’t know that a metaphor would cut it. They need to know that liberals would actually be able to shoot them.

          • Which is of course why they find armed black people so troubling.

          • In the 1970s, when Reagan was governor of California, the Black Panthers started open carrying firearms. This so spooked the RW whites that Reagan oversaw the passing of modern gun control laws for California. So we’ve been here before. The NRA is more practiced, however, at making money these days, and may modify the outcome to maximize sales.

          • Walter Wellstone

            I like the way you think.

        • Carole

          But make sure you know where your gun has been. Because CSI and shit.

      • SeeTrain65

        You don’t actually have to buy the gun. Just take the photo.

    • (((fka_donnie_d)))

      Fuck that, get licensed to carry and take a gun and a camera to NRA HQ.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      The accordion player in my band-who lives out in a redneck Hooverville because it’s close to his job at an observatory-has a sticker on his truck: “One More Bitter Gun Owner For Obama”. When I asked, he told me “you gotta let these hillbillies know they better not fuck with you”.

    • BigCSouthside

      My wife usually tags any posts when we go shoot as #GunTotingLiberal

    • Just don’t shoot your ear off in a gun-selfie fail, ‘cuz that’s a thing.

    • OneYieldRegular

      I started to write something about someone telling the NRA “In short, we’re coming for you,” but half-way through thinking about my comment I wanted to vomit at the fundamentally violent nature of this country, and of people like Dana Loesch in particular – the kind of thuggish people who would make threats like that knowing full well that journalists all over the world are getting killed in record numbers.

      • SnarkON

        I am a journalist; a huge percentage of my friends are journalists–many of them, in fact, at the New York Times–and I agree with you 100 percent. When I saw this video I got nauseated. It’s only a matter of time before one of these wingnuts kills someone I know.

  • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

    “Barking Moonbat” is the name of my new jazz fusion cover band.

    • SnarkON

      “Numpty” is what every hipster Millennial will name their firstborn child.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Barking Moonbat was my favorite old-timey Delta blues crooner.
      Well, maybe ‘croon’ is the wrong term.

      • eggs ackly-wright

        Blind Lemming Moonbat.

  • BosGrl

    Yeah, there’s no way that neck is 38.

  • Rick Hill

    “Hey, you Whitehouse….”

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “Haha, charade you are….”

  • Latverian Diplomat

    The NRA — The R’s not for racism…but we’re working on it.

  • Msgr_MΩment
    • The Wanderer

      Um . . .

    • lucidamente

      Locked and loaded?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Cocked and loaded.

        • SeeTrain65

          Cocked and Choaded.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      We know that’s fake, because he’s holding it backwards.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        From the location of his left hand, I think he knows how to make it fire.

    • FlemmishSpy

      Pump action?

  • BigCSouthside

    Her actions are money driven. Trump won, firearms sales fell off the table.

    They need a new boogie man to help sell AR 15s (because ill say this now, fucking nobody outside the US Military actually needs one).

    So, liberals who have FINALLY stopped being the only civil voice in the room and have stood up and said “you people are fucking disgusting and need to shut the fuck up” are the new scary enemy

    • Walter Wellstone

      I sez bring it, beotch. I don’t mind being the enemy of these imbeciles.

    • SnarkON

      America totally needs more boogie men. We could use a nationwide dance party. What I think you mean is bogeyman. :)

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Okay, kids. Can you guess the decade?

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CaPcKtLioww

        • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

          cocaine is one helluva a drug.

      • BigCSouthside

        I did, I had an iPhone autocorrect.

        • SnarkON

          Siri wants to dance!

  • mardam422

    Who is Dana Loesch?

  • Truck Fump

    She’s a toilet-headed numpty, a moderately gifted wreck of human flotsam, a barely capable barking moonbat that couldn’t logic her way out of an open field with three compasses and a Sherpa, someone so morally incompetent that I’m ashamed to share a species with her. The woman could suck a whole swamp through a straw and tell you it tasted like cheesecake. She’s a barely talented over-actress so emotionally stunted she thinks it’s appropriate to whine about her own treatment while whipping her knuckle-dragging fans into a violent frenzy. She’s a cumberground of such epic intensity that I’m surprised atoms don’t consistently annihilate near her just to get away. I don’t even want to tell my kids about the existence of such a person, because I want to raise them to believe that humanity isn’t a cesspool of selfishness and violence. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e6ae7496ad748508a24c583d3eeeb4f9e6c5f26810bf87522b5f4c6193dbe5fb.jpg

  • Ezio

    “If every Black male 18-35 applied for a conceal & carry permit, and then joined NRA in one day; there would be gun control laws in a second.” -Wendell Pierce

    • (((fka_donnie_d)))

      See under Black Panthers, California Statehouse, and Ronald Reagen

      • johnnysandiego

        Thank you. I wish everyone knew about the Mulford Act

        • (((fka_donnie_d)))

          One of my favorite forgotten pieces of the 60s actually.

          One of the big problems with having the 60s exist in the national consciousness as pop culture caricature is that shit which was actually important was going on, and we know nothing about it. Thanks, Hunter S. Thompson and Ken Kesey!

  • Michael Smith

    Lol she’s like the most interesting man in the world but in reverse.

  • SeeTrain65

    “Dana Loesch Has Thoughts …”

    Hold it. CALLING BULLSHIT RIGHT THERE.

  • Gorillionaire

    People like our friend Dana here got scared shitless when a “liberal” picked up an AR and shot at some Republican congressmen playing baseball and actually hurt somebody. They never really thought it would ever happen to them – they always thought they were the ruthless tough guys and that the other team were just a bunch of sissies. Now that a depressed confused agitated citizen has made a 2nd Amendment move on one of theirs it has fucked up their entire world view.

    • SnarkON

      Time for them to stockpile more gunz.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      It can be really upsetting when you’re an armed bully realizing that others might be armed, too.

  • ariel_gee_398

    if the rapture really is on the horizon and all these evangelical gun-toting morons are gonna be zapped up, I wish it would hurry up and get here already. Because they are seriously fucking up the planet.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      The Deep-Fried Food lobby has successfully postponed the Rapture for fear of plummeting sales.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    They go on an on about how “[Castile] was smokin’ weed, so the cop had to shoot him!” Which of course ignores the basic science that THC can stay in your system long after you’ve finished partaking (depending on your frequency of use and potency of the weed).

    • Jennifer R

      Drug tests might as well be called marijuana tests for all the effectiveness they have at catching anyone who uses anything else that is capable of abstaining for three days.

      • OrG in London

        Yep,I knew a girl that was on probation and trying to quit crack and meth. Smoking weed would have helped, but she kept doing the crank and crack because she could pass the piss test.

    • Ezio

      I have said for a while now that if they just legalized it you could cut down the amount of people who are unjustly locked up for half their lives because of it too.

    • OrG in London

      Also too ignoring the fact that it has nothing to do with weed.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Well, yeah. Also true.

    • Beowoof14

      Yeah guys getting their mellow on are so dangerous while they’re busy looking for a pizza or Doritos.

    • chortlingdingo

      It’s astounding how many things become worthy of capital punishment when black people are doing them.

  • So, her “defense” of the shooting is that the cop came to the car window, instantly realized the guy was stoned on weed *and* said he had a gun, so the shooting was OK. Got it.

    • BigCSouthside

      It’s wrong on so many levels. He did EXACTLY what you are supposed to do. I’m white. If I did that in my neighborhood the cop’s gun probably never leaves the holster

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    It’s really too bad Obama declared “marshall law” and installed himself Evil Negro Tyrant For Life. We never would’ve had this angry rhetoric from heavily armed lunatics if Trump had been elected.

    • Hizzoner

      See.. That is kind of the point. The NRA is the spokes-organization for the gun industry and, since Trump has been elected, sales are WAY down. They have to pump up something to make their quarterly earnings projections. Enter Ms. Loesch. (to the sound of gagging.)

      • Lark_in_the_AM

        DING*DING*DING

        We have a winner, folks!

  • Ezio

    How revealing that the NRA libertarians who always say not to trust the government instantly assume the police are in the right when they shoot a Black person.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      The Second Amendment was written by White Folks, for White Folks.

      • hillarysleftone

        well, yeah. also the rest of the Constitution, and the Declaration of Independence…

        though, a quibble, that’s “RICH White Folks.”

        • lextims

          rich white straight non-disabled cis-gendered mostly-theist male persons of middle-age or older. let 10,000 flowers blossom.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            Impressively narrow definition of ‘all men,’ innit?

    • lextims

      because they think that this ideology means, “conservative, but edgy”.

      just like classical liberal is coming to mean, “free markets, but without girls in them”.

  • La forza del resistino

    I used to play with guns (toy) daily. Then I turned 11 and discovered girls.

    • SeeTrain65

      There’s the difference.

    • SnarkON

      Then you turned 61 and discovered toy girls.

      • La forza del resistino

        That’s a low blow (up).

  • DerrickWildcat

    I gotta nuff guns to take on N. Korea by myself.

  • Msgr_MΩment
  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    Fun fact: Dana Loesch was a democrat until 9/11, which changed her into a rage harpy gun humping culture warrior, because terrorism.
    Also: Killer Martini, as in Commenter Killer Martini?

    • KillerMartinis

      Sometimes, but I think there’s a couple people around here with super-similar screennames.

  • Hizzoner

    (Also we recommend better moisturizer. That HD’s a bitch.)

    It’s like getting schooled by the Crypt Keeper. And the Crypt Keeper is A Idiot.

  • RMKH

    I’m sure someone has already said this, but just in case: She seems nice…

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Loesch’s argument here is that since Castile had marijuana in his system, he wasn’t carrying lawfully.

    Let’s see what Minnesota law has to say about that:

    MN Statute 340A.902 DRUNKENNESS NOT A CRIME.

    This law states that it is legal to having controlled substances in your body. (Thanks Prohibition!)

  • BigCSouthside

    Lol the “plot to disarm America”. What. The. Fuck.

    It’s easier for me to buy an assault rifle than to buy a car. New AR manufacturers seem to show up weekly. I was out at a Rural King, this is in the country mind you, where hunting and pest control are economic factors of life, and 80% of the gun wall was fucking ARs. They had a total of 3 rifles legal for taking deer in my state. Even half the shotguns up there weren’t worth a damn for game hunting.

    Most of the guns sold there were designed to kill people and I could have walked out with one after filling out a one page form and waiting 20 minutes.

    Disarming America my ass.

    • That’s one of the things that has annoyed me for years. Way back when I was in the military, some of us saw an AR15 for sale at a local gun shop, and we spent a considerable amount of time over beers trying to think of what good it would be in a civilian capacity. The answer was … “not much.” Most of the arguments for it amount to “I want to use a screwdriver as a chisel.” You can do it, but it isn’t the right tool for the job.

      • BigCSouthside

        The defining characteristics of ARs are low recoil, high capacity, rapid fire and reload. They are designed so that a minimally trained person can kill a lot of people quickly.

        There’s pretty much no civilian application for them other than “they’re fun to shoot”

        • What I love about the “home defense” argument is that of course you want a bullet that will not only go through the person, but through a wall or two at the same time. It’s not like there would be anything important behind the wall! (rolls eyes)

          • BigCSouthside

            Yeah. Odds are the bullet doesn’t even stay in your house.

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          It’s not even good for killing a lot of people quickly. Its intent is to lay down a stream of lead that HOPEFULLY intersects one or more persons. Sooner or later.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      They’ve gotta keep trying to sell more gunz to the same shrinking demographic. A lot of RWNJ’s fetishize military equipment, so of course they want to buy military looking guns.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      ” I could have walked out with one after filling out a one page form and waiting 20 minutes”
      Damn those restrictive gun laws. Think of what/who you could have shot in those 20 minutes.

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    • JCfromNC

      I hear you. I bought a car and a handgun in the same week. The car took two-three hours and signing at least half-a-dozen different forms. The pistol took about 30 minutes at the sheriff’s office for the permit to buy, and another half-hour at the gun shop to purchase. If I had a concealed carry permit, I wouldn’t have even needed the permit to buy, although that would have been a little more involved than the car purchase, as I would have needed to submit fingerprints.

  • Carole

    I’d use her book for target practice, but that would mean I have to pay for it or steal it.

    • BigCSouthside

      Would be kinda fun to hit with a 45 70 wouldn’t it

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Or wait until the unsold copies are sent off to be pulped.

    • theblackdog

      Could always wait until it hits a used bookstore, then only the bookstore gets the money. Even better if it’s an Advance Reader Copy because theoretically the author didn’t get paid for that book except in exposure.

    • Dg Hacket

      I’m sure there’s tons of them in the landfill

  • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

    A work of art, Killer. Absolutely beautiful takedown.

  • Beowoof14

    They all have this fantasy that they will use their gun to defend themselves from the US Military. When said organization can fire a missile from four miles up in the window of their choice at said gun nuts house/fort.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      These pathetic little twits couldn’t hold off a five man fireteam made up of Finance Corps dweebs, let alone a guy driving a tank.

    • grindstone

      Story time: I went to my next door neighbor’s place to chat and he and his wife had just gotten back from the range and were cleaning their giant fucking assault rifles. He had bought one for his wife as a birthday present and had shown her how to shoot it. I have lived around guns my entire life, so I wasn’t overly fearful, just confused, so I asked why on earth they would spend their money on the things. He said, “for the coming zombie apocalypse”. “Oh, okay”, says, I, chuckling, thinking, “they just like guns, fine.”

      Then this guy, who I’ve known for years, and was a wonderful neighbor and a decent person, adds…..”but of course, zombie apocalypse is just a euphemism for when blackie rises up”. My absolute horror must have shown on my face because his wife rushed in to make it all seem like a joke.

      I never spoke to him again after that.

      • Edith Prickly

        WTFF. Did you put your house up for sale?

        • grindstone

          Strangely, didn’t have to. Like so many people who seem to go from “seemingly normal” to “frothing conservative asshole” instantaneously, he got in a high dudgeon over the new “guvmint” flood insurance rules in FL, put his house up for sale, and moved.

          • Old town Urbandale

            Damn straight. Don’t force me to buy flood insurance, just bail me out financially after big rains.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            Thank goodness it was a self-correcting problem.

      • Ricky Gay

        You were hearing the true motivation of many a white gun nut. :(

      • BigCSouthside

        I’ve been very surprised at the amount of conservatives that live in my relatively young white collar neighborhood since Trump won. I never knew before.

      • Zombishroom

        good god that’s disturbing.

      • theblackdog

        Oh. My. God. The zombie apocalypse clarification actually explains why a former acquaintance used that while vaguebooking about me. Just another piece of proof that she was super racist.

    • Edith Prickly

      The right wing media has convinced them they are under a constant threat of attack. The fact that this attack has yet to happen doesn’t penetrate the fog of paranoia that is their resting mental state.

      • Zombishroom

        It boggles my mind how far gone some folks are. Their paranoia makes us all a little less safe (since they’re the ones with the firearms.)

    • Or they somehow think they’ll be the ones rushing to overthrow the dictatorial government and “defend the constitution.” Reality is that they’ll sob hysterically, soil themselves, and surrender the first time a bullet actually goes near them.

    • Bananas Foster

      You’ll notice that the international community does not get its panties in a twist over North Korea having guns…

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      this! if they formed a battalion and started to march, it would be one pilot in a jet or a coupla helicopters.

      Shit, maybe just one piece of artillery.

      • Rags

        or a platoon of Marines

      • Old town Urbandale

        Drones. Much less guilt for the army grunt to kill fellow Americans if it’s done remotely with a drone.

        • Opiwan

          It continually amazes me how ignorant of the reality of “video game war” the militant right wing is currently in, given their ideation of the military.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            They unconsciously think of themselves as Minutemen, ready on a moment’s notice to bear their muskets into glorious battle with the hated Redcoats. Realising that said Redcoats can level a city block with absurd ease spoils the fantasy.

          • Opiwan

            Seriously. What good is even your AR-15 when a stealthy drone can blow up your entire “gated, walled off militia complex” from 30kft using guided munitions? The idiots wouldn’t even be able to hear incoming, because they’d never see or hear the delivery mechanism!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Dominic was right…a righteous rant! Thank you Ms. Martinis! (corrected because I credited FDF in gross error, I will now stand in the corner for 10 minutes)

  • Me not sure

    When the right to shoot whomever you please outweighs the right to love whomever you please as your chief political motivator as an LGBTQ person you’re doing queer wrong.

    • Wookie Monster

      Loesch is doing human wrong.

  • Man, the roast of Dana Loesch was intense!

    Also, thank you for introducing me to the word “cumberground”, I shall add it to my lexicon.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    There are only so many RWNJ’s to go around to buy the books and shit off the screaming harpy bitch role and Annie C. has most of them locked up so in order to get a share of that segment Frau L has dived right into the deep end of the cesspool.

  • teele

    Holy cow, that was like watching a local tv weather girl circa 1965 presenting her dramatic recitation of “Howl” for the Rotary Club annual fundraiser. Spokesmodel for the substitute-dick strokers. I am so jealous!

  • Mike Janowski

    A Dangerous Dame. And not in that good La Femme Nikita way.

  • Ghenghis McCann

    She’s a toilet-headed numpty

    Thank you killermartinis. I was listening to a BBC radio programme yesterday, about “the Americanization of the English language”. The presenter pointed out that some words have gone the other way; from Britain to America, and the example she used was numpty. (Although in the original Glaswegian, it would normally be fucking numpty.)

    • grindstone

      We have gone the other way with increased use of “sort it out” and “proper”, too, no?

      • MississippiLefty

        Spot on.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        “The Queen’s English Society”, who had one of their members on the show, would condemn “sort it out” as being low and vulgar. These people aren’t just worried about Americanisms, they’re worried about The Lower Orders getting a bit above their station as well.

        • grindstone

          Heaven forfend!

      • eggs ackly-wright

        e.g., “proper fucked.”

        • grindstone

          Gawd I love that movie.

          • eggs ackly-wright

            Me too.

      • Lily412

        Harry Potter made me start saying “Just a mo'” all the time instead of “Just a sec'”.

      • Sakonyachen

        “Fuck all” and “what’s all this then”got kinda popular as well after “Snatch” came out.

    • Drunken Interlocutor

      Well, it was always meant to return whence it came anyway, given the innate atavism of American culture. American English is very much a relic of 17th century King’s English.

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    So the NRA has devolved into a well funded right wing militia and terrorist group. Cool. That is EXACTLY what the founders wanted by establishing the Second Amendment….

    • phoenix00

      That’s not exactly news……

  • MississippiLefty

    “Cumberground” was new to me and my new favorite word. Thank you!

    • Parakeetist

      I love him in Sherlock!

      • gratuitous

        Technically, that’s a group of cumbergrounds: a cumberbatch.

    • Rags

      Tomorrow’s Merriam-Webster Word of the Day!

  • HazooToo
  • Is “K-Mart clearance-bin Michele Fiore” really something you want to aspire to, Dana?

  • Dana Loesch strikes me a bit like trump. She likely has no friends in the traditional sense of the word, more like business relationships that exist only while there’s money to be made.

    sad, lonely, Dana.

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    *crosses fingers*

    Seems like comments on the video are not going the way they might have hoped.

  • Lark_in_the_AM

    I am going to carry that lovely description of the human cesspool that is Dana Loesch around with me today and re-read it when I need a lift. That is some fucking inspiring writing.

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    But, Dana, doesn’t it follow that you should take a pee test to get a carry permit?

    • Rags

      and be required to take a pee test every time you are seen on the street with a firearm?

      • Old town Urbandale

        Are you kiddin’? We’re not talking food stamps here.

  • Royal Ugly Dude

    don’t use a homophone for “fist.”

    That really depends on whether “fist” is a noun or a verb.

    • Fancy Meau-Faux

      Wait!!! Fist can be a noun too!!!! You learn something new every day!

    • phoenix00

      Adjective also!

  • Royal Ugly Dude

    She’d better watch out. Somewhere, there is a younger, prettier aspiring NRA spokesmodel gunning for her job.

    • Parakeetist

      Or spokesgun.

    • Zombishroom

      I see what you did there.

    • Drunken Interlocutor

      Is that Tomi girl looking for a new job? Might be after TrumpTV goes tits up.

  • Relativicus

    “Let’s talk instead about what an absolute garbage human being you have to be to think it’s a good idea, in this political climate, to spew filth and insanity on behalf of felons and denigrate a neighborhood hero. She’s a toilet-headed numpty, a moderately gifted wreck of human flotsam, a barely capable barking moonbat that couldn’t logic her way out of an open field with three compasses and a Sherpa, someone so morally incompetent that I’m ashamed to share a species with her. The woman could suck a whole swamp through a straw and tell you it tasted like cheesecake. She’s a barely talented over-actress so emotionally stunted she thinks it’s appropriate to whine about her own treatment while whipping her knuckle-dragging fans into a violent frenzy. She’s a cumberground of such epic intensity that I’m surprised atoms don’t consistently annihilate near her just to get away. I don’t even want to tell my kids about the existence of such a person, because I want to raise them to believe that humanity isn’t a cesspool of selfishness and violence.”

    That was fun.

    • Zombishroom

      Killermartinis killed it. Beautiful writing.

  • amindofitsown

    So, being in possession of the illegal devil weed is crossing a line, according to Loesch. Nothing about ex-cons or mentally ill people? Seems legit

  • SpudRaider

    I guess you haven’t been to Idaho in awhile…I hate to say it but there are MANY women in this state that would willfully repeat her comments and their under 40.

    • Sakonyachen

      That could be, but she’s from St. Louis.

  • Internet Hitler

    She seems nice.

  • mailman27

    Pretty foul stuff.

  • The Librarian

    Wow, “We’re coming for you” sounds like more than an idle threat. Loesch would look good in an orange jumpsuit and no one looks good in that.

  • mailman27

    I don’t find Dana Loesch the least bit disarming.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    I’m still pissed off that Carly Fiorina wasn’t charged with a crime after inciting that loon to go out and murder 3 people at PP, because he was so pro-life. Her infamous “baby parts” speech still infuriates me. In a sane society people like Fiorina and Loesch would be pelted with rotten fruit and hissed at if they dared to show their faces in public.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      At the very least sites like Facebook and Twitter would ban this kind of brain-dead, hateful, dangerous, violence-inciting asshole. But the vague, irresponsible young white guy owners just don’t see how it “violates terms of service,” I mean it doesn’t affect THEM.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Hey, as long as nobody is showing a boobie!

        • Pisto75666

          Or a headless puppet.

  • gallbladder

    Hoofwanking bunglecunt. There, I said it. I said it and I’m glad.

    • Walter Wellstone

      Hoofwanking McFuckface Von Bunglecunt

    • phoenix00

      ‘Incompressible jizztrumpet’ also applies!

  • bangondedrum

    Paging Mike Hunt

    • gratuitous

      Busy; will Mike Hawk do?

  • SerialParkingViolator

    Laughed out loud at “(Also we recommend better moisturizer. That HD’s a bitch.)” Day made!

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    Also, too – does she want us to believe that we cannot go on YouTube right this fucking second and fund eleventy billion videos of drunk people shooting guns?

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      ‘They’re clearly not NRA members!’

      • (((fka_donnie_d)))

        Yea! They never showed their membership cards!

  • These gun nuts are so fucking angry. What kind of damn life do you have when angry-assed shilling for the NRA is your “thing”? Drink some wine and do some yoga, Dana.

    • phoenix00

      “No damn life” seems to be the minimum requirement to shill for the NRA (or any big-C Conservative org, come to think)

    • Drunken Interlocutor

      Anger is an indication of deep sadness. I wonder what the source of hers is.

      • That’s deep. And potentially the start of the next romantic comedy starring Jennifer Lawrence and Brad Cooper.

  • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

    But what if she IS a punt?

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      And a pitch!

      • Ken Wagon

        Pitch punt pore

  • whitroth

    No problem. I can see where she’s going – you say she *names* her guns? One of these days she’s going to be so hot for one that she’s going to forget to unload it before it comes into her….

    • theblackdog

      I’m terrible for laughing at the idea of how the news will be reporting that injury.

      • whitroth

        I was more assuming it would be fatal… Can you say, coming and going?

        • theblackdog

          Oh it would be fatal, but imagine a news writer trying to find a way to say she shot herself through her vagina that doesn’t get censored. That makes me laugh because I am a terrible person

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Ducksworthy

      Stenchfield?

      • Drunken Interlocutor

        It’s right down the road from Shitsworth.

  • phoenix00

    Lovely delicious takedown killermartinis!

  • Ducksworthy

    I’m sure Dana will support the Orange One’s approach to the national emergency of opioid abuse, the Duterte Gambit.

  • Zyxomma

    I made it through nine seconds of the video.

  • Ninja0980

    Dana Loesch makes it a point again and again to state how those who don’t think like her or live on the coasts aren’t real Americans and basically puts a target on their back.
    And she has the gall to whine when someone rightfully calls her out on it?
    She can go fuck herself with the guns she loves so much.

  • You know what, Dana? Bring it. Enough with the repeated threats. Either bring it or shut the fuck up you waste of cellular matter.
    punk assed bitch

    • Plot of the next alt-history HBO series: “Uncivil Bore”. The radical right makes good on their threat to murderfy people resulting in massive manhunt and dissolution of the NRA as a domestic terror organization. Starring William Hurt as Wayne LaPierre.

  • Boohunney

    I’d expect Dana’s “Flying Monkeys Throwing Poo” to hit this comment string once they get wind of it. Fun times!
    She’s a real asshat.

  • Weird Fishes

    She is not a nice lady.

  • NotALiar

    God i love you. I live in Indiana and she’s on the radio here. I spend a couple hours of the day in my car. I apparently enjoy punishing myself by listening to her show sometimes. I have been commenting on the danger of this woman for a long time. I believe she is way more dangerous and unhinged than Rush or Mark Levin. She is also extremely transphobic.

  • Tokays_don’t_blink

    I would like one of the wingnuts to explain the exact mechanism by which they think the government is going to take their guns.

  • unclejeems

    Kudos to the author. I’m fairly well-read, and I’ve never, ever come across the word “cumberground,” much less used it in a sentence. Just a reminder that my knowledge of Bunyan is lacking. But this chick thoroughly deserves the label.

  • Incoming Ham

    I’m late to this one, but I looked at the photo this morning without my glasses on and I could have sworn that gun was a stripper pole. Really.

    • Husband Of Mrs God

      Yah!

    • efoveks

      HA! :)

  • Scott Phillips

    Oh, hey, Wal-Mart Shoppers.
    Check out the huge sale on Fisting Supplies.
    Oops. I mean Fishing Supplies.

  • Sakonyachen

    My wife knows her. She was always a wingnut, but she used to try to use rationale and pretend to respect others. She was slowly getting more and more crazy throughout the Obama presidency, since Trump took the oath she’s been spiraling down the rabbit hole. It’s so strange that having a wingnut president would make wingnuts so angry.

    • The Flaming Carrot

      She’s like a prettier version of my mother. Her kids are going to need therapy for a long, long time.

      • Sakonyachen

        If I recall correctly, they are homeschooled for religious/political reasons. I’d ask the wife, but apparently Loesch used to be sane and likable, and so was her husband. Aaaaaanyway, kids that grow up in cults always need therapy.

    • AndreWaters20

      The right-wing is made up of sociopaths (to one degree or another). They feel empowered by Trump.

      • Sakonyachen

        I always assumed empowerment would curb someone’s anger and paranoia, not amplify it.

  • Husband Of Mrs God

    Oh but look, she’s so hot in her “Fisk me!” outfit.
    Porn star with guns instead of penises.

  • harryeagar

    ‘To fisk’ as in to subject to snarky fact-checking as one would do to rightwing journo Robert Fisk was a contendah for neologism about 10-12 years ago. It is a stretch too far

    to say that Loesch was thinking ‘fist.’

    For that statement, anyway, the most you can accuse her of is terminal squareness.

  • Tiny kaiju

    I like this word cumberground! It is an excellent addition to my limited arsenal of non scatological abuse.

  • John Lo

    You had me at “The woman could suck a whole swamp through a straw and tell you it tasted like cheesecake.”

  • blaid droog

    When it comes to the rwnj, I deliberately try not be overly aware of them. All I really need to know is, they are the enemy of everything I believe in. I don’t need to follow them all because there’s simply too many of them. I will give this bitch credit for at least being hot looking unlike that coulter person, the one that looks like an unattractive man in drag.

  • Suthrnboy

    Dana Loesch?

    The woman who claimed that Republican lawmakers introducing a law that a trans-vaginal ultrasound was required for an abortion were justified “because women seeking abortions” are familiar with “being probed”?

    This woman, who revealed that her husband was so bad at sex that her doctor visit was just as bad as his best attempt at a good dicking, is still relevant, all these years later?

    No wonder she’s so uptight!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZoO31kGnJvI

    Super Beets and the N.R.A. should be embarrassed!

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