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Hey! Were you by any chance wondering to yourself “Um, is Robyn just going to write about dicks all day today?”

YOU BET SHE IS. And no one can stop her. I mean, me.

Because the hot goss this afternoon, other than Eric Bolling’s dick, is the fact that Stephen Miller may be the next White House Communications Director. Which is not that big of a surprise, really, since I think the primary qualification for this position is the tendency to go around saying awful and generally kind of offensive things all the time.

According to a report from Axiom, though Miller is not the top contender for the position, he is under consideration — and Steve Bannon is way into it, because of all the sexy anti-Semitic dogwhistling Miller was doing at a press briefing this week when he accused Jim Acosta of having a “cosmopolitan bias.” Trump, reportedly, digs him too, because he really likes it when his people are terrible to journalists.

I, for one, am just hoping it’s not another Italian.

It is now your open thread! Leave your creative descriptions of Stephen Miller’s face in the comments! And also click below to tip us!

[Axiom]

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  • Eileen Besse

    NOW, we hafta repel the Zombie Apocalypse, TOO?

  • Duke

    “I hope it’s not another Italian as those sausages only flare up on the grill.”

    Hey… I’m trying.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Triumph the Insult Comic Dog wished really, really hard at his last birthday. And now he’s a real boy. But it cost him his humor. And his soul.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      TOTAL Triumph the Insult Dog libelzzzzz!

    • willi0000000

      i thought it said Trump the Insult Comic Dog. . . . but then i realized t’Rump isn’t funny and has no idea how to craft an insult.

      [ . . . total dog libels though! ]

  • Picabo

    I saw this on Daily Kos. Epic snark.

    “Many people have only listened to one side of the eclipse debate—the pro-eclipse establishment. They will tell you, as if it’s a proven fact, that there will be an eclipse of the sun on August 21.

    But have they given the other side a fair hearing?

    They prefer the term “eclipse skeptics,” rather than “eclipse deniers.” They simply haven’t been convinced by the so-called “experts,” whose careers depend on repeating the politically correct line that there is “100% certainty” about a coming eclipse.

    The fact is, there actually isn’t a “consensus,” as some claim, that the moon will over-shadow the sun, and it is total arrogance to claim that this “eclipse of the sun” . . . . (as they’re calling it now — I can remember a time when they were talking about the eclipse of the MOON, the shadow of the earth supposedly blocking out the light of the moon — Why isn’t anyone talking about THAT anymore?) . . . anyway it’s arrogance to claim that fallible scientists on earth can accurately tell you, with certainty, where the moon will be later in August. Scientists have been wrong before. We need more study. And who’s funding these so-called experts?

    When it comes down to it, there’s nothing we can do about the eclipse anyway.

    (It’s all a perfectly natural phenomenon, by the way. It’s happened before. You just beat on the drums and it goes away.)”

    https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2017/8/5/1687129/-Eclipse-The-Debate-is-Not-Over

    • Cosmopolitan John

      You can’t fight Big Astronomy.

      • I’ll admit I stopped reading your comment, but can you blame me when you clearly said that I have a big ass?

        • Cosmopolitan John

          I thought I said your big ass couldn’t be stopped.

      • armed_bears

        And now, a word from Big Astronomy:

        Southern New Mexico features some of the darkest skies in North America, with National Public Observatory star-watching programs at half a dozen state parks across the state and at the Very Large Array. Consider southern New Mexico in your vacation plans.

        Big Astronomy, peace out.

    • bupkus231

      At one time, this parody would have been absurd to publish – but, nowadays, it’s all too believable that someone, somewhere, is really saying shit like this….

    • willi0000000

      somebody with a faceplace account, please send this to https://twitter.com/RogueNASA

  • SadDemInTex
    • Wild Cat

      They’re both corpse fuckers.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      And he’s a Jew, too. It’s beyond shameful. What we call “a shonda fur die goyim.”

      • Maggielle

        His mom’s ancestors fled Poland/Russia in 1903 to escape the pogroms. If his mom’s family had relatives who stayed behind, they probably didn’t survive either the Nazis or the Soviets. Too “cosmopolitan”. All these years later, this little putz stands up there channeling Stalin. It’s disgusting.

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          It isn’t even Stalin he’s channeling, it’s pure Goebbels, and to think of the shame he brings on his family, and to the rest of us. He’s a disgrace.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Alternate-Universe Pee Wee Herman in Pee Wee’s Big Lie

  • greyXstar

    Actual Nazis in White House jobs. What could possibly go wrong??

  • armed_bears

    So maybe Kelly is not in complete control yet, ya think?

  • FauxAntocles

    Saw a tweet that said he wants to be the Director of Propaganda – I find myself believing it.

  • Picabo
    • AJ Milne

      Jesus stole my hubcaps.

  • ez

    Trump: ” Put Neidermeyer on it, he’s sneaky little shit just like you, right?
    The time has come for someone to put his foot down. And that foot is me!”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/85ed090cf7250ce789b5ba42e9f72f3f9be731b9856c4016753fc0935a76d081.jpg

  • Suse

    Drumpf is scaring the sheeps!

    Three military helicopters hovered over Anne Choi’s backyard, engaged in what appeared to be a drill ahead of President Donald Trump’s visit three weeks ago to this tranquil town of farmland and horse barns in rural New Jersey.

    “My sheep were terrified,” Choi, 44, said on Thursday inside her two-story barn a mile east of Trump National Golf Club, as half a dozen Shetland sheep grazed outside. “It’s awful. We don’t have the infrastructure here. We can’t support the weight of his presence.”

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      NONE of us can support the weight of his presence. And when I say his presence has weight, I mean HIS PRESENCE HAS WEIGHT.

    • Fancy Meau-Faux

      Trumpland: Where men are men and sheep are scared.

    • Fancy Meau-Faux

      For some reason your comment made me think of this. Relevant bit around 3:30.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aObBk_FdzCA

    • Major_Major_Major

      Well, Donny does have Scottish genes so maybe the choppers were scouting the “talent” for him. Dinnae wunner the wee ships be skeert.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Good. First time I ever laughed at Pauly Shore was today.

  • amindofitsown

    I think Miller was a bit worried that the Mooch was upstaging him over who could be the biggest alpha asshole

    • bupkus231

      Even Miller can’t out-asshole the current ultimate Alpha Asshole – his boss. Maybe, one day, a more dominant asshole will come along, but for now….

  • exinkwretch

    The only other person in the West Wing that younger and dumber is Hope Hicks, so it’s gotta be one of the two.

  • So, I kinda had a feeling that Rebecca’s post from yesterday would bring the loonies out of the woodwork. I just had me some kind of feeling. But, now that I’ve gone in there and read some of the comments, all I have to say is, “JEEBUS H. MOTHERFUCKING CHRIST ON A CRACKER!”

    • Suse

      Which post?

      • Picabo

        The one about Kamala Harris. People are still posting comments.

        • Yep. That’s the one.

          LOTS of unsaid, “Well, ACTUALLY!” in there. Because, obviously we just don’t understand good.

      • I think the Kamala Harris one. I heard about an infestation on the open thread last night, but did nit venture in

  • bupkus231

    I’ve been hoping that this is just one of those rumors – and that it would never come to pass.

    I’m not as confident as I may have once been, tho’….

  • CripesAmighty

    Not surprising. No one–not even the recent Goombah–is better at tossing the bait into the barnyard, to get the livestock screeching, braying and hopping–than Li’l Josef.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    I, for one, am just hoping it’s not another Italian.

    Your lips to God’s ears.

    So, is public mendicancy illegal in AZ? Asking for a friend.

    https://twitter.com/RawStory/status/893928992109101056

  • Suse
    • You, sir, are a disgrace to that uniform!

      • Suse

        That’s what I said!

    • Red Bird

      He’s living proof that racism makes you ugly. His mouth used to make a smile shape.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Ummm… About the Star Trek uniform…

      • Suse

        Drummed out of The Federation long ago.

        • MizzMazz

          They did have some bad apples.

      • willi0000000

        it’s OK . . . the shirt is red.

  • Red Bird

    And this rounds out the dick theme for the day.

  • Suttree

    Is there a condition where splotchy hair grows on the tip of your dick? That’s what Stephen Miller’s head looks like.

  • Anna Rompage
    • Suse

      Lovely!

    • This one looks like a rapist. Some of the others, I assume, are good though.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Takin’ bees away from hard-workin’ American sunflowers.

      • Anna Rompage

        If it’s any consolation, this one was conceived in the USA…

        • ANCHOR PETALS!

          • WIDTAP

            They sprout like noxious weeds. They clog up the lawnmowers. Some, I assume, are decorative plants.

          • BoatOfVelociraptors

            With names like “Shifty” and “D-Money”, tryin to pollinate our daisies.

          • WIDTAP

            Would you want your daughter to come home with a bouquet of them?

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            thugflowers…

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Let’s leave Daisy out of this, lol

          • Suse

            Where IS Daisy? Haven’t seen her in months.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            studying away, I assume

          • That’s what I’m hoping, anyway.

          • armed_bears

            Botanical genius

      • therblig
    • alwayspunkindrublic

      It’s supposed to DO yardwork, not create yardwork.

    • miss_grundy

      Muy bonita!

    • FlownΩver

      Hail, hail Tithonia!

  • Reximus
  • geoffalnutt

    There can never be another Mooch. *sob*

    • hanadora444

      Really. The Mooch had at least some entertainment value. Miller is annoying but hopelessly boring.

      • Serai 1

        Oh, I think it’ll be entertaining to watch him slowly (or quickly) devolve into shrieking tantrums and door-slamming flouncery. You know it’s coming – he could barely keep it together this last time.

  • Sheepshagger

    I just know Miller has a reddit account brimming with Asian schoolgirl porn and red pill profundity. I know this.

    • OutOfOrbit

      how you know that? *side-eye*

      • Sheepshagger

        By looking at his face.

        • foiled again

          You did that? Wow.

  • rumsey

    Too bad a reporter didn’t tell Miller that Emma Lazarus wrote her poem in 1883 as a fundraiser for the Statue of Liberty! So, yeah, it never got posted on the statue until 1903, but someone bought it at an auction twenty years earlier to help pay to put it up.
    A short lesson in history for Steven Miller.

    • Suse

      “We don’t need history lessons.” – Jarhead K

      • OutOfOrbit

        you should talk…

    • Serai 1

      Not to mention if the statue isn’t about immigration and welcoming the stranger (which is IN THE FUCKING BIBLE, BY THE WAY), then what the fuck is it supposed to represent? “Liberty”? In what sense? In that subtle HAHA FUCK ALL Y’ALL WE GOT LIBERTY AND YOU CAN GO DROWN FURRIN CUCKS way?

      What an ASSHOLE. What an UNAMERICAN ASSHOLE.

  • Chyron HR

    WTF? I hate Fly Like An Eagle now.

    • JustDon’tSayDignity

      I got so tired of that song anyway. “Feed the children who don’t get enough to eat”. When it should be “mumble mumble something bootstraps.”

      • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

        I had a band in another earlier life, and for fun we’d write new lyrics for stuff on the radio. “Shoo the children, shoo them from the streets; house the people, or they will be dead meat. Oh I belong in an institution! I’m gonna drive like a maniac, through the town. Drive like a maniac mowing everybody down …”

        And good times were had by all.

        • JustDon’tSayDignity

          Ha! I did that too, just to see if anyone else in the band was paying attention.

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Yr. Gma

      Hahahahaha. Hope it’s true.

    • Suse

      I wish Sean H would post lewd photos. Even concocting fake stories about Seth Rich with Drumpy isn’t bad enough.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Surprised he wasn’t given a commendation and a raise.

    • Krombopulous Pichael

      WOOHOO!

      • Suse

        It’s the Curly Shuffle!

    • IdiokraticDrumpfenResistance

      “Bailiff, whack his peepee!” – Judge Jeanine

      • OrG in England

        “I plead INSANITY”

      • Suse

        She’s the absolute worst! Her voice and demeanor send me into seizures.

      • miss_grundy

        She probably would have lurved to have gotten the peepee photo….

    • miss_grundy

      Well, that would be typical of Faux News–they suspend the perpetrator…..

    • Serai 1

      They should save time and just fire everybody.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      And wingnuts blaming the libtards for his suspension in 5… 4… 3…

      (Cool points if they can work Hillary into this somehow)

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Stephen Miller word search puzzle.

    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
    XFXXXXXXXXXXXXX
    XUXXXXXXXXXXXXX
    XCXXXXXXXXXXXXX
    XKXXTXXXXXXXXXX
    XXXXXHXXXXXXXXX
    XXXXXXAXXXXXXXX
    XXXXXXXTXXXXXXX
    XXXNAZIXXXPXXXX
    XXXXXXXXXUXXXXX
    XXXXXXXXXNXXXXX
    XXXXXXXXXKXXXXX
    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

    • Yr. Gma

      I used to do cross stitch.

      • Suse

        Me, also! And needlepoint.

        • Shanzgood

          Same. I spent a long time bedridden in the hospital as a child and it helped pass the time.

          • Suse

            I’m sorry. That’s sad. :-(

          • Shanzgood

            Nah, it was a long time ago and probably harder on my parents than it was on me!

          • Suse

            Thank goodness it wasn’t a lifelong thing.

          • Shanzgood

            I fell off a very tall house and spent months I n traction and then a cast that went from my ribcage to my foot because I broke my femur. There are some residual issues but overall I’m just happy I didn’t die in the fall.

      • TheGrandWazoo2

        For some reason it posted before I finished.

      • FlownΩver

        Ditto here. Gender stereotypes blow.

    • TJ Barke

      Nazi punks fuck off.

      • foiled again

        Nazi punks fuck logs. Slippery elm, to be precise.

    • Serai 1

      No, thanks. I don’t fuck Nazi punks.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    I just watched Usain Bolt’s last race. I won’t spoil the result (I dunno, do people record and watch stuff later like I sometimes do?) but I will say the world is losing a consummate showman of the sporting world.

    • Reximus

      I didn’t see that result coming

  • jaspersdad
  • armed_bears
    • foiled again

      Look at that mouth- very Pepe-like. Bet he can snag a fly from ten feet.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Now that’s Italian! And your new Comm Director.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Yj_N5_P5qI

  • TundraGrifter

    I have a Cosmopolitan bias. I much prefer a Manhattan. Or a Sazerac if the bartender can properly prepare one.

    • Suse

      But how do you feel about the magazine?

      • Major_Major_Major

        As an adolescent male, I preferred Vogue and the VS catalog.

        • Maggielle

          My brother had to make do with the Sears catalog. (We are old.)

          • Major_Major_Major

            Hahaha, yep.

      • OutOfOrbit

        butting in here: the wimmenz are too skinny

      • TundraGrifter

        Sex On The Beach or Screaming Orgasm.

  • Jonny On Maui

    It’s almost like this is required for today…

    https://youtu.be/NQBPgJQhQHc

  • Major_Major_Major

    Stephen Miller looks like a lab experiment gone awry involving splicing genetic material from Roy Scheider’s gym socks and a rattlesnake’s cloaca.

    • Suse

      OMG!

    • Mehmeisterjr

      This is the greatest example of delicate understatement in the entire history of Wonkette.

  • Vincent Ricola

    I’m in a very Catholic church, waiting on a wedding to start and laughing at Wonkette dick jokes. Is this the highway to hell?

    • Yes. And the speed limit is 69

      • Me not sure

        I can’t drive 55!

      • OutOfOrbit

        you naughty girl

    • Jonny On Maui

      Are you on your knees?

    • Rasilom

      Just remember, Hell has all the best music. Do you really think Jim Morison, Jimmy Hendricks and a shit ton of orher amazing artists got unto red neck Jesus heaven? No, no they didn’t. And that is why you should be glad you are on the road to hell. It’s where the after party is.

    • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

      Dare I post my favorite rendition of Highway to Hell twice in one day?

  • anon_the_great

    With his income Bolling could have engaged the services of one or more sex professionals who would have sated his perversions without threatening his career. Stupid pervert. Stupid, stupid pervert.

    • OutOfOrbit

      i like naughty stuff, and yet i am totally in the weeds on why any guy would think any woman would ever want a dick-pic! (unless it was funny looking and sent to amuse and even then…)!

      • kareemachan

        This is along the lines of when I worked in a sawmill (summers during college), the guys would draw dick pics on the lumber. Real thigh-slapping stuff, that.

        OTOH, the supervisor busted their butts over that, I showed them I could work there as well as them, and by my 4th summer, it was all copacetic. Of course, they couldn’t say much about my looks, seeing I was wearing Carharts, a leather apron, steel-toed boots, and a hardhat. And smelled like green hemlock (NOT a good smell).

        • Maggielle

          I am an old. I remember reading the want ads as a kid. There were two categories: Men Wanted and Women Wanted. I don’t think I could have ever gotten your job unless I was the daughter of the owner, and I’m sure daddy would have had me work in the office instead. It’s none of my business, but I’m curious: approximately what years were you doing this work? I really admire you, btw.

    • MizzMazz

      Most guys who send these do so to intimidate, shame and disgust the recipient. A few clueless sorts actually think this is sexy, but has it worked for anyone? It’s like catcalls. They know you’re not going to swoon after hearing, “Hey, baby, nice ass; I like how your tits jiggle” They know you’re going to put your head down, and keep walking, or even if you give them the finger and tell them to fuck off, they laugh and tell you to , ‘Lighten up, you angry old dyke!”

      • Marion in Savannah

        I used to get cat called in NYC years ago. I usually grinned and shouted back “Thanks, pencil-dick.”

  • Mary Theresa
  • data_ninja

    Hey! Were you by any chance wondering to yourself “Um, is Robyn just going to write about dicks all day today?”

    You’re a day ahead Robyn. Today is the August 5, tomorrow is August Dicks.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    BWAAAAAAAAAA.

    Mike “my previous ex-wife will now be supporting my future ex-wife’s next grifter memelord” Cernovich is going to teach the NSC about battle.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dcb07ea38683e41192f9cf77c046674205f5960a46dfe08e5a3cdf7e5f90ab3f.jpg

    • armed_bears

      Although the topic du jour has been wieners, this guy has some serious balls.

      • OutOfOrbit

        hootspaw, not balls anymoar

    • Suse

      This guy really thinks he has some important role in things. His delusion is gobsmacking.

    • OrG in England

      Delusional piece of shit.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      my god these idjits are full of themselves

    • TJ Barke

      Yep, you guys sure won the meme war, that must be why Donnie’s approval rating is in the 30s and the rest of the world thinks we’re idiots…

    • Me not sure

      McMaster would put his lights out in seconds. Memetic wars? You’d have to be conscious.

    • jesterpunk

      He is going to send ISIS frog pictures to win the war? he would shit his pants if he had to actually join the military.

      • Suse

        Alex Jones’s gay frogs?

        • kareemachan

          Human-pig cloned hybrids?

          • Khavrinen

            All 160% of them.

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      “I don’t fight wars with memes, asshole.”
      ~Gen. McMaster
      https://www.army.mil/e2/c/images/2014/01/09/327270/size0.jpg

      • Serai 1

        Considering what just happened to our country, maybe it’s time he start.

    • janecita

      What the fuck is a “memetic war?” God, these losers are out of control!

      • CripesAmighty

        Vanquishing the enemy with .gifs.

        • Edith Prickly

          Oh noez, I is a-skeered of gifs!!

      • TJ Barke

        Propaganda war, basically.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Basically he’s convinced that it was his trolling that turned the tide.

    • Serai 1

      Thinks an awful lot of himself, doesn’t he?

    • kareemachan

      Jeez, he’s full of himself…

    • bupkus231

      Why would the National Scrabble Championship organization be interested in fighting memetic wars?

      Face it, I doubt Cernovich can spell all that well, anyway….

  • miss_grundy

    WH reporters should bring veg and fruit in their pockets and purses and pelt this guy with it every time he opens his damned piehole. Ooooo, or perhaps throw a roll of toilet paper at his head.

    • OrG in England

      A shoe.

    • HorseChestnut

      He ain’t Charmin enough.

      • armed_bears

        Would help wipe that smith off his face, though.

    • Suse

      The way the reporters are treated, I think it’s only fair.

    • Serai 1

      No need for the produce. Just start laughing. Every time I see one of those videos, I think when are they going to start laughing? It’s the one thing these fuckers simply cannot abide. The meltdowns would be EPIC.

    • Querolous

      Amazon ran out of Trumptwitter themed toilet paper. https://www.amazon.com/Donald-Trump-Classic-Tweets-Toilet/dp/B07258JCS8

  • susan_g

    Jim Acosta would have made Miller cry if he had only been given a couple more minutes to work on the twerp. I pray that Miller gets back on that podium soon.

    • miss_grundy

      I hope Acosta gives him a verbal drubbing…..

    • Suse

      I wish they would all boycott these “press briefings.”

      • OutOfOrbit

        go in, get seated as usual, then get up & walk out em-mass when who evuh comes in

    • Serai 1

      He probably would have cried if Acosta had been stifling a laugh.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I, for one, am just hoping it’s not another Italian.

    I’m a mutt but I have enough green blood in me that I hope it won’t be one of ours. The Irish have suffered enough!

  • Mary Theresa

    I’m 2 drinks in and forgot what dick we were talking about.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      AOT,K

  • Rick Hill

    Why not? Dead eyed, looks like he carries a knife just so he could cut your pants to get your wallet before the paramedics came to an accident. Perfect for this administration
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aB80KzO_700b.jpg

    • Serai 1

      Yeah, do remember that when the effects of Brexit hit home.

      • Alex Grey

        Should I be reassured that we aren’t the only morons in the world, or terrified that we aren’t the only morons in the world?

        • Bananas Foster

          People are idiots.

          In general.

          • Lance Thrustwell

            But some of us mean well. Generally.

        • Serai 1

          *shrug* Suit yourself. Since the world is and always has been full of morons, it’s not really anything new.

          • Alex Grey

            Just remember the Brits have nukes too.

        • diane surette

          Pot is legal in Maine. Lepage or not.That’s reassuring. Just get high

          • Alex Grey

            Thankfully in OR too.

  • gallbladder

    How does one describe the indescribable?

    • armed_bears

      Oooh! Let me try:

      Look, having nuclear—my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes,
      OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart
      —you know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if,
      like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I’m one of the
      smartest people anywhere in the world—it’s true!—but when you’re a
      conservative Republican they try—oh, do they do a number—that’s
      why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went
      there, went there, did this, built a fortune—you know I have to give my
      like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged—but
      you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me—it would
      have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are (nuclear
      is powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the
      power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of
      what’s going to happen and he was right—who would have thought?),
      but when you look at what’s going on with the four prisoners—now it
      used to be three, now it’s four—but when it was three and even now, I
      would have said it’s all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because,
      you know, they don’t, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter
      right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about
      another 150 years—but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us.

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenResistance

    I came to Wonkette for the dick jokes, but I wasn’t expecting a sort of dick trilogy!

    • Alex Grey

      And each book has three movies. (Unfortunately? They are all porn.)

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      A tripdyck?

      • Querolous

        No earthly delights.

    • foiled again

      Dick Trilogy’s my insurance agent.

    • FlownΩver

      Nobody expects…

  • Nounverb911
  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Alex Grey

      Playing to your base works for Republicons, maybe we should try it. What’s good for the goose…

      • bupkus231

        Except that, while the “base” of the Republican Party is the extreme right, the “base” of the Democratic Party is NOT the extreme left.

        Playing to the them will NOT work to further Democratic values, no matter how much the extreme left claims they embrace them.

        • Serai 1

          I think you’re a little unclear on your categories there. If the base of the party is not the extreme left, then clearly playing to them WILL work. It’s playing to the extreme left that won’t work, because they are not the base.

          • bupkus231

            “It’s playing to the extreme left that won’t work, because they are not the base.”

            That’s what I was trying to say. Perhaps I leapt a little too far on Alex Grey’s statement – instead of just talking about “playing to our base” ( whatever that base might be ) I believed he was maintaining that the Democratic base WAS the extreme, as I really believe the Republican Party “base” is the most extreme elements of that party…

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Except that the Democratic Party doesn’t have a base in the same way. So “playing to your base” means “do it my way or I’m going take my vote and go home.”

        • Alex Grey

          Oh fuck, I forgot that they actually fact check.

        • Serai 1

          Yes, we do. As Bananas pointed out, our base are the people who got off their fucking asses and voted.

          • FlownΩver

            All our base are belong to…????

      • Bananas Foster

        Yeah, the base of the Democratic party is the people who showed up to vote last November.

    • Persistent Demme

      Amen.

    • SadDemInTex

      I want Dean back running the DNC

    • OrdinaryJoe

      The inflexible fixation on a dream of civic perfection causes the failure to achieve results that are unquestionably better than the status quo.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      That’s the sort of idiocy that (thank goodness) is right now tearing the guts out of the Republican party. Time for the Dems to do what the GOP used to do: Unify behind the nominee, whoever he or she is. Play all the purity pony games you like in the primary, but in the general, get your shit together, get serious, and don’t make things worse.

      • fergawdssakes

        Bernie’s agenda isn’t a game, it’s what drove hordes to his rallies and they weren’t all bros by any means. He was offering what most americans need, as similar policies are becoming widespread around the globe. The only reason dem politicians don’t support them is because the party is still largely controlled by its donor base, not as much as the GOP but far, far, too much.

  • Nounverb911
    • Serai 1

      Because your entire oeuvre has been about obnoxious assholes? Just a guess.

      • bupkus231

        I was gonna say this comes from the guy who wrote “American Psycho”….

    • Bananas Foster

      Because you’ve become irrelevant and you want to write a provocative tweet?

    • janecita

      I just hope that Christian Bale doesn’t play him in the movie.

      • PRW

        I have seen Elijah Wood do some pretty Peter Lorre-ish stuff since LoTR, perhaps he could do it.

        • FlownΩver

          Or give Paul Reubens a real chance to stretch.

    • Persistent Demme

      Now THAT is shade!

  • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

    A description of Miller in a Salon article:

    Empty, reptilian eyes scanning left to right over cue cards. A pouty mouth delivering each insane untruth. And a voice that sounds like every hyper-unlikable, pompous, joyless, self-important authority-on-everything you’ve ever met. Or as Katie McDonough of Fusion puts it, “he has the voice of someone who is a dick.”

    http://www.salon.com/2017/02/15/what-makes-trump-advisor-stephen-miller-so-unlikeable_partner/

    • gallbladder

      Orwell (and perhaps Dostoevsky) would be pleased.

      • foiled again

        He would have been Raskalnikov but Mother Nature ripped him off.

    • Jamoche

      “It feels like he’s talking down to me, it feels like he’s being overly pedantic, and indeed, condescending”

      Which also describes Sarah Huckabee. I’m spotting a trend.

  • Thiazin Red
    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Very nice trout!

      • Thiazin Red

        Maine has pretty strict laws about fish, so this one got to go back to the lake.

        • OneYieldRegular

          I just caught a really nice smoked trout at my local market.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Yeah, but Vlad goes fishing shirtless, as one does.

      • gallbladder

        And/or with aid of a cammo wetsuit.

    • Alex Grey

      I caught some massive bluefish the couple times I tried beach fishing on Long Island. We threw them back though, because they weren’t stripers. (Finding the pictures would be actual effort so…) Also not impressed by Vlad.

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    Covfefe Coffee – roasted until it is burnt, served with ketchup and TWO dollops of ice cream.

    • Jeffocaster in the West

      OK, I am losing my mind.

  • Rick Hill

    Quick Jack Hill Dawg update:
    Buddy is doing well but, one thing, the ghost which haunts our shop has returned. Be working or Wonking and all of a sudden the phantom smell of rotten smells will appear.

  • Jack

    Steven Miller, another Dick Pick from Trump!

  • foiled again

    Is it just me who finds Miller to be the likely love child of Roy Cohn and Joseph Goebels?

    Hate myself for thinking things like that.

    • Well, fuck you, for that.

      • foiled again

        Anytime, budski.

    • TJ Barke

      He’s not as competent as either, though.

    • Suse
    • Marla

      Goebbels and a rhesus monkey

      • foiled again

        “NO WAY!1!”
        A monkey

      • Dudleydidwrong

        You’ve just pissed off a whole troop of rhesus monkeys. Don’t answer the door if someone knocks.

      • Major_Major_Major

        Stephen Miller is the result of Goebbels banging an albino python.

    • CripesAmighty

      I thought Adolf Eichmann, but hey.

      • foiled again

        Martin Borman, the underrated Nazi.

    • paxpax

      BEST AVATAR EVER. (I used to live in the Twin Cities)

      • Alex Grey

        “Twin Cities,” Misery and more Misery? (I admit I have only visited the airport. After a 5 hour delay, they moved my plane’s gate from A6 to E-something, on the very far side of the airport, I had to run there. After I ran to the gate in the E section, they told me they moved the gate to A7. So I had the grate joy of running back to where I started. Fuck Minneapolis-St. Paul.)

  • Axios

  • Serai 1

    Seeing as how it seems to be a theme today, here’s a video from Ozma, Japan boy band extraordinaire, as they show off their talent for doing what all these dick-waving idiots really should learn to do – HIDE THEIR PENISES.

    (SFW, unless you count buttcheeks.)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1aT6vKXNlA

  • Marla

    I just found a way on how to make yourself depressed beyond all hope.

    Look at your high school year book. Christ, that is self-torture.

    Anyway, tunez*

    1. Don’t Bother Me – The Beatles
    2. You Move – Depeche Mode
    3. Take Ten – Paul Desmond
    4. To Love Somebody – Lindi Ortega
    5. Pictures Of Matchstick Men – Camper Van Beethoven
    6. Promise The World – Son Volt
    7. Rubber Ring – The Smiths
    8. Bitterblue – Cat Stevens
    9. That’s Just The Way It Is – Phil Collins
    10. Maybe A Moment – Justin Townes Earle

    *I spell it “tunez” because I’m a “Millennial douchebag hipster” or so I’m told.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I listen to tunez on speakerz. Sometimes on headphonez.

    • BosGrl

      Oh man. If you’re a Millennial and your yearbook bums you out, you can imagine what it does to us olds.

      • JustDon’tSayDignity

        Let’s just say I left mine in a box in the attic.

        • Marla

          Yeah, every high school year book should remain there.

          • Ricky Gay

            I am still waiting to have a cool summer and to never change!

          • JustDon’tSayDignity

            OTOH, I’m in touch with, and get to occasionally hang out with, a friend I’ve know since the mid-70’s. Not much to do with yearbooks, but at least some of my past was pleasant.

    • Serai 1

      Even if I had a copy of my high school yearbook, the only depressing thing about it would be the three or four girls I was friends with that I haven’t heard from in thirty years. As to the rest, couldn’t be gladder to have gotten away from all that.

      • Marla

        Go here:

        http://www.classmates.com/

        And search for it. Though that site is a bit of a scam.

        • Serai 1

          No, thank you. Why the fuck would I want to do that?

    • armed_bears
    • janecita

      Depeche Mode and The Smiths! Throw some The Cure in the mix, and I’ll be really impressed!

    • Dudleydidwrong

      I’ve discovered that high school yearbooks, even from way back in the 50s, have technology that changes the photos over time, sort of like that portrait of Dorian Gray guy. So just know that the picture in there isn’t real. No sir. Not real. (Except for Mrs. Dudley who looks as luscious as I remember her.) Otherwise, all pictures changed. Amazing technology.

    • Suse

      I have 7th thru 12th grade yearbooks. I love looking at them.

      • Marla

        I went to a Catholic high School where shame and guilt were heavily enforced

        • Suse

          I’m sorry about that. I went to a fun high school with liberal teachers. Husband went to Catholic school until junior year, when he transfered to my school. We’ve been together ever since.

      • BosGrl

        I think for some people, it’s not so much feeling old as seeing pictures of people from your class that are gone. If you’re naturally a melancholy person, it can kind of set you back for a day or so.

        • Suse

          Yes, that is sad. MY HS (which closed years ago) has an alumni FB page. It’s fun talking to people I haven’t seen in 40 plus years, but hard to look at the list of deceased classmates. Our list is pretty long.

          • BosGrl

            I’m sorry :(

    • Major_Major_Major

      Camper Van Beethoven for the win.
      My favorite, based on Gravity’s Rainbow, also too.
      https://youtu.be/rpjcZl_ymxI

    • mancityRed6

      I threw out all my yearbooks when I left Joplin, why would I need to drag those things around?
      which is good, because I would have left them in Tennessee anyway.

      • bupkus231

        “All my yearbooks”? How many did you have?

        • Alex Grey

          We had to pay for those things, fuck that.

          • mancityRed6

            I didn’t. I didn’t even want one.

          • Alex Grey

            I didn’t particularly want one either.

        • mancityRed6

          5th grade through 12th.
          my parents still have theirs, they don’t know I don’t have mine.

          • bupkus231

            Wow! The sole one I ever considered buying was my senior year. I think it cost $30 – which, back in 1974, was quite a bit of munnies. As it is, I think I only saw three or four of my classmates in all the years since ( those who went to the same out-of-town college I did ) – and I’m back there several times a year…

          • mancityRed6

            I’ve only ever seen one person from my class, and that was when she had the apartment down from me about 5 years after graduation.
            for some reason, my parents thought I would want to remember those years.

      • mancityRed6

        to be honest, my parents moved and didn’t want to take a bunch of my old stuff with them. mainly books.
        so the kids next door got a lot of national geographic books that summer.

  • Persistent Demme

    Oh, bring it!!!

  • Reximus
    • sw19hoofywoofy

      Dolls eyes libels!

  • If Miller and Bannon were in a “Creepy-looking Dude” contest, I would have serious, serious trouble deciding. They don’t look anything alike, but which one is creepier? I dunno.

    • armed_bears

      Miller.

      Bannon = Crazy wino uncle.
      Miller = Ed Gein without the cuddly personality.

      • Marla

        “Ed Gein without the cuddly personality.”

        Sure that isn’t Paul Ryan?

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Miller reminds me of two characters- one is Goebbels- he has the same dead eyes- the other is the mechanical shark from Jaws.
        He makes KAC seem charming and likeable.

      • ken_kukec

        Jeffrey Dahmer, with a better stocked freezer.

    • Suse

      Miller is “clean creepy” and Bannon is “greasy creepy.”

    • janecita

      Miller is creepier. He is peeping Tom kind of creepy.

      • Suse

        Agree. Plus you can probably smell Bannon’s creepiness a mile away. Miller’s is more insidious.

    • Alan

      Miller is creepy, Bannon is gross.

      • Suse

        Miller looks like he’s very OCD about his cleanliness.

        • Ricky Gay

          He has resting cuck face!

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Wherein Miller, being a man of the people, never forgets his roots or looking out for the “little guy”…
    https://twitter.com/funder/status/893678995404988417

    • Marla

      I wonder if he ever rented out his forehead as an IMAX screen.

      • janecita

        Or as a landing strip.

    • Suse

      Scumbag!

  • marxalot

    Saw Guardians of the Galaxy 2 again last night (it has come to the 2$ movies across the street!). Still fun, still drags in the third act, still can’t believe “Fox on the Run” is on the soundtrack album but not actually in the movie.

    • sw19hoofywoofy

      I enjoyed it immensely. Looking forward to Deadpool 2, too!

      • FlownΩver

        Green Lantern 2, on the other hand…

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • armed_bears

      That Assange… he’s a special fella.

      • Cosmopolitan John

        Cute as a shithouse rat.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          but charming as a peach orchard boar.

    • janecita

      Loser holed up in an embassy, said what?

    • bupkus231

      Fuck you, Assange.

    • Me not sure

      Well…I guess if the Venezuelans want to, who are we to stop them?

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara
    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      So if the lifelong Republican former head of the FBI provides evidence beyond a reasonable doubt that Trump illegally laundered money for foreign gangsters, and if it proves that he and his family conspired with a hostile state to damage the election, in exchange for lifting sanctions on said hostile state, an armed group of thugs is willing to take to the streets to keep Trump from being removed from office.
      They are real patriots.

      • mancityRed6

        they said the same thing about Jade Helm, and most everything they thought Obama was gonna do.
        all talk, no action.

      • TJ Barke

        Let them try.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Unfortunately, I read the comments. Oy Vey!

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        Me too. If anyone wonders where I am, I’ll be in the shower.

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda
  • Me not sure

    Let it be Miller, because in 2 months when he’s gone, I know he’ll be great on “Dancing With The Stars”. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8f8f0ba632685351bb4559b348a67faccd153a64dc1a4573cd701f00ce959322.gif

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
    • Suttree

      Nazi asshole goes to Duke, news at 11.

  • Bill D. Burger

    ot…but make sure to drop by Hair Furor’s twitter site and leave President Obama a very happy birthday wish:

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DGfrOTXUwAI4j8n.jpg

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    I’m watching The Notebook (don’t judge me!) because it was filmed in my hometown and I’m enjoying the scenery. Fun fact, I was out with a pal one night at the local gay bar, and we met a woman and man who were working on the production. They were from LA, and not nice AT ALL.

    Also, I think I likes Ryan Gosling better before he had a nose job.

    • janecita

      The Notebook is awesome!

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        I don’t have that kind of attention span so I’m watching The Post It Notes.

    • I am watching Who Framed Roger Rabbit… because….reasons?

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I saw that a gazillion years ago, and I seem to remember that it was kind of funny.

        The Lowcountry (where I’m from) does look quite pretty in this movie.

      • mancityRed6

        do you have to have reasons?
        I saw it in the theater when it first came out.

        • I may have done so. I do not recall as i was 7. I have seen it several times since. This is the 25th anniversary blu-ray

          • mancityRed6

            I’m just happy my netflix payment went through with all the bank problems I’ve been having.

      • Suse

        I’m watching Law & Order SVU marathon, which ION seems to have every weekend.

      • Persistent Demme

        Drama-daughter, (who loves it, and has a Jessica Rabbit costume), says it’s really about racism and Jim Crow.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          It may be the most politically incorrect moment ever (especially in an ostensibly kid-friendly film!), but when Donald Duck calls Daffy Duck a n***er, I burst out laughing.

          • FlownΩver

            And Disney thought he was getting away with that one!

  • Bill D. Burger
  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Some GOP dick on TV a few minutes ago…”It’s been a pretty good week for Trump.” With a straight face.

    • What did his other face say?

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        His gay face said “bitch, please! Trump is a fucking joke and every sane person knows it!

    • Raan

      Ah.

      I see the Republicans have been infiltrated by the Bizarros.

    • RobespierreHoo

      The GOP dick was the chairman of the North Carolina Republican party. I’m sure that comes as a shock.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Just remember. Mitler’ will continue to hold up the high standards of the string of sage ‘truth tellers’ who’ve already graced this White House:

    https://twitter.com/Im_TheAntiTrump/status/893249392089718785

  • Bill D. Burger

    The REAL Steve Miller…aka Paulie Shore. Perfect!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkGs-8EmG3Q

    This should assure Pauly a comeback on SNL. Got to!

    • mancityRed6

      whoah…not what I was expecting.
      SNL, maybe?

    • Andrew Baur

      Yes, this is perfect. :)

  • janecita
    • SisterArtemis

      Gawd. Some things I just don’t understand.

      • Alex Grey

        It’s funny if you look at it in the right light… (Also I don’t understand tattoos period.)

        • SisterArtemis

          I understand tattoos quite well, being a tattoo artist and a tattooed person, but the crap on that guy’s face is just stupid, even before you get to the dick part. Which, I might add, looks like technically it was done at least right, if not good. But still… who would want this on their reputation, let alone their face?

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        His friends call him “Fuckface”.

    • TJ Barke

      Why?

    • BosGrl

      It takes a brave man to admit he’s a dickhead.

    • gallbladder

      Can’t WAIT to see him at his 80th birthday party.

    • Steve Cole

      That is a cry for help. Too late.

    • TJ Barke

      You know, in an episode of 30 Rock, Frank and Lutz and Twofer go to talk to Jenna, and one of Jenna’s super gay friends says to Frank “Can I ask you something? Why?” then just gestures at Frank. I super want that “Why?” as a youtube clip or gif…

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        30 Rock may have been the best comedy ever. Just sayin’.

        • TJ Barke

          It was damn good. And I didn’t even like it like the first two times I saw it.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I think it would have been more popular if it had had a different name. “30 Rock” is just not an appealing name for some reason.

        • I was a Studio 60 person and never gave 30 Rock a chance until very late in its run

          • BosGrl

            Loved Studio 60.

          • I have the DVD box set of the only season. I may put that on after Roger Rabbit

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I watch it on Netflix…every night…and I treasure it. So much subtle wit.

          • I don’t think it’s on Canadian Netflix

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Bummer!

        • mancityRed6

          don’t stick to the US shows. Spaced, League of Gentlemen, The Fast Show…hell, even the Royle Family is damn good.
          also, the first four or six seasons of Trailer Park Boys.

        • armed_bears

          I saw today that there is an attempt to bring back…? But with the same cast? IDK, but I am down for it.

    • armed_bears
    • SkinlessGenderlessMan

      Wow. Prince Albert and all…

  • ken_kukec

    “… because of all the sexy anti-Semitic dogwhistling Miller was doing at a press briefing ,,,”

    Which means Miller not only bears a striking physical resemblance to Roy Cohn, but shares his self-loathing tendencies (and maybe his sexual predilections, too — WHO KNOWS? — it would irresponsible not to speculate.)

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      This was true of Breitbart(the person), Michael (Weiner) Savage, and Miller- what was going on with these guys that they felt this need to Rebel against their liberal middle class families?

      • ken_kukec

        And don’t let’s get started on David Horowitz rebelling against his nice, middle-class Trotskyist family.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I just read an article in Vanity Fair about Roy Cohn being Donald Trump’s mentor. Naturally Trump abandoned Cohn when he was dying of AIDS. There was nobody to root for in that story.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Just mix Goebbels and PeeWee….and …voila!

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DGf6lQQVwAA-oWl.jpg

    • TJ Barke

      Paul Reubens libel!

    • BosGrl

      Pee Wee would make a better communications director. And something about his name having “pee” in it.

      • AJ Milne

        … that and ‘we meant to do that’ is pretty standard messaging from that crew of late.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          I’M NOT SORRY!

    • gallbladder

      I can’t tell the difference.

  • Newt has made a comeback.
    Perry made a comeback.
    Jerry Falwell Jr. has reincarnated his daddy’s ghost.
    Even the Fuckabees are in.

    Why are the Duggars and the Palins on the outside? Something’s not right.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I think Palin has something she’s hiding, maybe one of the kids is on meth or something.

      • mancityRed6

        just the one?

      • Rasilom

        AOT,K

      • gallbladder

        She’s too busy getting frivolous lawsuits against the NYT tossed out.

      • Suse

        Or Todd!

        • Major_Major_Major

          One of the kids is on Todd? My money is on Bristol if she’s been hitting the wine coolers.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Palin’s not welcome in Trumpworld because she hogs the spotlight. She’s not good at deferring to Trump. With the Duggars, the whole family sexual assault thing isn’t past it’s sell by date

      • But…but…it was only some mild touching of their sinholes but it was over their clothes. And Josh has already apologized. Megyn Kelly cleary showed that it was the librul media’s fault for not respecting the Duggars’ privacy on an all exclusive TV interview on FOX News.

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      Palin’s busy sucking Ted Nugent’s dick. (Actually, rumor has it that she could use it to clean between her teeth with)

    • akryan

      I think it all went downhill for Palin after she showed up drunk to Trump’s campaign rally. The only time in the entire campaign I saw him speechless was after she got done rambling on stage. Sarah is a sad case. My friend has known her and Todd forever. He said until she started getting into politics she was a pretty normal suburban mom. She wasn’t even particularly interested in politics. As she got more and more into it she really changed though. National fame totally wrecked her.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    I was gonna write a funny verse about Stephen Miller to Steve Miller’s The Joker, but so few things rhyme with Nazi Asshole.

    • Orange?

    • mancityRed6

      I probably could, given enough time, but there is no way it’s gonna be PC.

      • Rasilom

        Go for it!! We here at the wonkette loves us some non PC shit directed at these ass hats.

        • mancityRed6

          nope. I’ve had some whiskey and it would end up being wrong. oh, so wrong.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        Exactly. I don’t want to offend any Potsy Basspoles.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Wasn’t he on Happy Days?

          • Alex Grey

            You’re dating yourself…

          • Charon_69

            Isn’t that allowed in some states?

      • SkinlessGenderlessMan

        Take the time. Pleeeeeaze!

    • Major_Major_Major

      I’m a fucker,
      A Koch sucker,
      and not a RINO cucker
      Somethin somethin somethin
      Loathe me, loathe me all the tiiii-ime

  • Kimberely Grant
    • mancityRed6

      oh, daily fail, you never surprise me

    • gallbladder

      Guess he thought that the Joe Miller look would get him some cred.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Mehmeisterjr

      So at least one guy named Stephen is happy about this.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Say what you will, but Steven “Fivehead” Miller’s mentor is very proud of his best student:

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DGf3CKyVwAAQPL6.jpg

  • gallbladder

    So, what’s the over/under on a crazed Drumpf-O-Gram for tonight?

    • Suse

      Yes!

    • Suttree

      Equal too or above that he actually is suffering from tertiary syphilis.

  • azeyote

    from the apprentice though the sopranos to the walking dead it’s all just a bunch of t.v.

    • SisterArtemis

      Sure, but we’ll always have MLP: Friendship is Magic

  • Bill D. Burger

    Miller …helping to Make Australopithecus Great Again.
    (*I know…a real stretch. But found that bizarre thing and had to ‘share.’ Forgive!)

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DGf6Q9FWAAAbc2s.jpg

    • Alex Grey

      Make Assholes Grow Again?

      • Bill D. Burger

        (👍≖‿‿≖)👍 👍(≖‿‿≖👍)

    • Suttree

      Lucy libelz!

  • I bought a new bathing suit today. After i am done eating the dinner foods, i may try out my building’s pool and/or hot tub

    • mancityRed6

      I wouldn’t do the hot tub unless they clean it on the regular. just, no.

    • Suse

      “batning” is the only kind of suit I’d wear in public.

      • Suttree
        • mancityRed6

          stay out of my closet!

          • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

            Isn’t it time you came OUT of the closet?

          • mancityRed6

            I’m only in when I need to get clothes.

        • Suse

          Well…

        • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

          I’m concerned as to how you came up with this image so quickly.

          • Suttree

            I have deft and agile fingers! Unfortunately, I can only type with two of them.

          • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

            I’m typing with a carpal tunnel wrist brace on, which is just a joy, I tell ya!

          • Major_Major_Major

            At least Suttree wasn’t modelling it for us.

        • Richard Girlswin

          Okay, the front parts are cute if corny, but the back looks like a half-burned facehugger that’s gone terribly astray.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I take it suits are required?

    • Suttree

      Luxury! We bathed in the refuse liquid that the upstairs neighbor threw out her window every morning. And we liked it!

      • You ‘ad an upstairs? We were lucky to know there was anytning above muck level!

        • Cosmopolitan John

          But just try telling that to young people today . . .

          • Maclare, Local Milk Person 🍼

            They won’t believe you.

          • Alex Grey

            And they won’t believe you!

          • Maclare, Local Milk Person 🍼

            And sometimes we would type the same non-comments at the same time! We would yell “Jinx”, and that was how we survived!

          • Alex Grey

            I admit I was thinking that…

        • Rags

          Muck?? Luxury!!

      • Alex Grey

        Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o’clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, eat a lump of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.

        • bookish

          Tough neighborhood.

      • Alex Grey
  • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

    In Miller’s rant he implied that since the Lazarus poem was not originally on the Statue of Liberty it doesn’t count. However, the adding of, “In God We Trust” and “One Nation Under God” do count?

    • Lance Thrustwell

      His only motivation there was to trot out a factoid he happened to know so he could sound SMRT.

    • Suttree

      “The founding father’s were deeply concerned about godless communism. Many people don’t know this.”

    • CripesAmighty

      If it wasn’t cooked up by an ad agency, it doesn’t count.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Oh Eric Bolling! Meet Karma….you FOX bitch:

    https://twitter.com/Ariuszme/status/893688724172685313

    Your turn, Eric. Now don’t try that “I can’t remember if I did.” excuse you bloviating, lying pervert.

    • “To send to female co-workers, obviously!” is the ending to that, but he ran out of characters.

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        Like he has any character!

    • Covfefe

      What’s the big? It’s not like he Duggared them

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    I saw on Joy today that coal jobs are up 600 to 30,600 which is less than Arby’s employs.

    • mackafritz

      A whole 600? That’s 2%!

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      Yeah, but do coal miners come with Horsey Sauce?

      • Jeffocaster in the West

        Horsey something, not sauce….

      • The Wanderer

        I can never say ‘Horsey Sauce’ in public and keep a straight face.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Kinky.

        • Richard Girlswin

          This is why I love you guys. No dick joke too far.

    • Left Coast Tom

      Interesting. California Wine, on the other hand, produces 786,000 jobs, 325,000 of which are located in California.

      • Steve Cole

        That would be “failing dysfunctional California” – thank you.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Ruh-roh, looks like a certain dick pic sender is temporarily suspended by Fox:
    https://www.thecut.com/2017/08/fox-news-host-reportedly-sent-dick-pics-to-female-colleagues.html

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      A couple more and it will almost seem like there is a trend or something going on at Fox.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Y’think?

      • Swampgas_Man

        It’s tantamount to making people responsible for their messages.

    • And do we seriously believe that Sean Hannity has never gotten in on the good ol’ boy dick waving at Fox?

      • SDGeoff3

        Maybe, but we can only imagine the goods he has on everyone there. He’s that sleazy and two-faced.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I don’t want to live in a country where bitches are offended just because someone sent them an unsolicited dick pic in the workplace. I mean, who does NOT want to look at the penis of someone they have no interest in?

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Suse
  • Bill D. Burger

    https://twitter.com/BettyBowers/status/893519994667110400

    https://twitter.com/RawStory/status/893479983561281537

    Now Judge Mean Jean encourages the Rule of Thugs rather than the Rule of Law. We’re obviously then a Nation of Thugs, not a Nation of Laws, huh Jean?

    • Lance Thrustwell

      An uprising, eh? I’m normally a peaceful man, but my first thought is – bring it, motherfuckers.

    • aktlib101

      The only uprising is in her pants

    • bookish

      Who gives a fuck about Trump family members? They’re nothing.

      • Suttree

        Not Trump! He just keeps them around because they kiss his ass.

    • Steve Cole

      Reminds me of the “bikers for Trump”, waddling around threatening to offer “security”.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    The countertops for our revamped kitchen were installed this morning. So exciting! We’ve been undergoing construction since early April on various home improvements (inevitable really, when you are the current caretaker/resident of a 15th century stone house) and we are nearing the end of the major work, at least. I will be painting and patching and varnishing and sanding forever.

    But I bring this up to mention that it is possible to live and work in a place that is having construction done. And I don’t even have a giant taxpayer-funded staff to assist in the endeavor.
    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/893964041630212098

    • SDGeoff3

      Congratulations, and thanks for sharing this. Have fun in the midst of all of it.

    • You would think that the master builder would want to be there to oversee this construction, since nobody can build a big, beautiful, not-dumpy White House like he can.

      • Suttree

        3 Mexicans and a case of gold Krylon spray cans, does not need to be overseen.

    • Bill D. Burger
      • Rick Hill

        He’s taking a break from the links and will be in the office. Swear!

        • Suse

          Hardest working man in politics! Many people are saying this.

          • Suttree

            The 4 people who reside in the head under that yellow caterpillar?

          • willi0000000

            four? . . . don’t tell me he finally murdered Jeremy.

            [ probably on 5th Ave. ]

    • ariel_gee_398

      Yeah, meetings with a bucket of the Colonel’s Extra Crispy and calls of nature.

    • Bill D. Burger
    • Bill D. Burger
      • Steve Cole

        I have a feeling this cover will never get old. And apparently still not yet reported by BrightFart.

    • Rick Hill

      Long planned construction. Yeah, the same thing they do every year.

      • willi0000000

        GSA’s doing the work and they say it’s critical . . . apparently the HVAC system is clapped-out and there is other work.

        [ i seem to remember something about removing a stairway associated with the press room . . . so someone may want to verify that the press will still have access ]

        • Rick Hill

          I saw that they usually schedule maintenance for this time of the year

          • willi0000000

            apparently ‘everybody’ in DC takes August off.

            [ . . . and, since this includes all the Mickey D’s employees, the t’Rump needs to be out of town and close to an open one ]

    • OutOfOrbit

      your house is 700 yo?!

    • Suttree

      That’s right. Don’t you live about 6 hours prior to EST? I love old stone houses. Years ago I did about 120 feet of iron handrail for a 18th century house in Vermont. That’s old here!

      • OutOfOrbit

        you did not spin out of orbit : )

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        I do. It’s almost as mythical as Mountain Time.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Working must mean something different to him than the rest of us.

    • Suttree

      Calls to Faux Snews is not fucking working asshole!

    • Rick Hill

      One resident of Bedminster complained:
      “…We don’t have the infrastructure here. We can’t support the weight of his presence.”

      I see what they did there….

      • miss_grundy

        And his helicopter scared her sheep….

  • aktlib101

    Does anyone in this administration look like a normal human? Think Bannon, Kellyanne, Miller, Trump himself and (at least) his male spawn, Fuckabee….dunno, is it genetic? Inbreeding?

    • The Wanderer

      Eric the Fuck-a-bee?

    • Raan

      I’d say Barron, but I don’t think he counts as being part of this clusterfuck.

      • Suse

        His fate was sealed long ago, unfortunately.

        • SisterArtemis

          His fate, but perhaps not his lifelong misery, which is what I assume having DT as a parent would be. Maybe he’ll break loose eventually – Ron Reagan Jr seems to have found a different path; so did Frank Schaeffer (son of the evangelical couple), and so have many, many of the Wonkers here, who while they may not have come from famous assholes, definitely broke away from the asshole component of their families. It’s possible.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Suse

      Needs a few “fuckwits” and “morans.”

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        I’m finding that simple reason, courtesy and correct English is the most effective way to deal with Trumpkins. They HATE that.

        • OutOfOrbit

          cuz they dunut understand sense

          • Bub, the cynical zombie

            Exactly!

    • Alex Grey

      Is it kryptonite? It’s draining my powers to deny reality!!!

    • I prefer a simple
      Fuck off into traffic.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        of votes & etc.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN
      • gallbladder

        What’s the cigar tonight?

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          No cigar tonight. I am not going to be hanging around much. While I was standing in the supermarket check-out line this morning, my back decided to spasm on me. I barely made it home. So, I’m on ice and painkillers. I can’t sit for very long at a time. So, I will be in bed.

          It’s all asshole Donald J. Trump’s fault. I’m sure of it. Fuck Trump’s eyesockets with white-hot steel bollards (figuratively, with votes.)

    • alpacapunchbowl

      This is FANTASTIC!

  • Lance Thrustwell

    You guys, I just discovered this site:

    http://dashboard.securingdemocracy.org

    Very interesting stuff. They keep track of things like Russian disinformation and agitprop efforts. “Fire McMaster” is a big thing right now apparently.

    • gallbladder

      Slightly on topic: http://map.norsecorp.com/

    • ltmcdies

      Yeh I’ve been following for a couple of days. You can see the trends.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      So here’s how RWNJ’s connect things in their broken brains- could the NRA be working for Moscow, since they want to do violent sexual assault on NYT? Mobile NYT is trending.

  • aktlib101

    Did anyone notice how Putin (who is on vacation in Siberia, allegedly) and Dolt45, also on vacation (golfing, allegedly), appear to have synchronized their “time off”? Budding bromance? Sex orgy?

    • SisterArtemis

      flight from prosecution?

      • jesterpunk

        Pretty sure Russia doesn’t have an extradition treaty with the US.

    • They are discussing adoptions.

      • aktlib101

        Money laundry schemes?

        • Left Coast Tom

          Adoption of Russian money laundries.

    • I thought “Vacations in Siberia” is what Putin did to political rivals and journalists.

    • therblig

      solitaire, new assignment?

  • Maclare, Local Milk Person 🍼

    The Great Presidential Pardon Heist

    http://mentalfloss.com/article/502472/great-presidential-pardon-heist

    If Damfnuts does pardons grifters, would any future historians be as tempted as this guy was?

    • TundraGrifter

      You writer “grifters” like that’s a bad thing.

    • *reads article*

      Wait. Gerald Ford waited five years to grant Nixon a pardon? And Nixon had to write an essay?

  • Lyly Sirivong
  • Bill D. Burger

    I fucking love, love, love Maxine Waters. She makes the issues crystal clear. Reporter asks her if there isn’t some validity in the President’s assertions that Mueller’s investigation shouldn’t go beyond Russian interference in our elections.

    Maxine: “No. NO! Let me put it this way: If I’m a policeman and have a warrant to search your house for a stolen TV and I find a dead body in the living room, should I ignore it because it’s not mentioned in the warrant?”

    http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpdwyzACFL1qjys7d.gif

    • Lance Thrustwell

      She is NOT trying to play it safe. She gives a shit. I love her!

    • CripesAmighty

      I guess she does have a point…

    • willi0000000

      what does Maxine know that the rest of us don’t?

      • SisterArtemis

        Quite a bit, judging from how she refers to what she cannot reveal to the public.

        • willi0000000

          so . . . she has seen the body!

      • Yr. Gma

        Common sense.

    • “Crazy Maxine Waters accuses Trump of stealing TVs and having dead bodies in the White House!” — Breitbart headline in 3, 2, 1. . .

      • Msgr_MΩment

        But i read it on the interwebs!

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos
    • Carpe Vagenda

      Calls.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Many people are saying he’s working. I am reading this a lot. Believe me….

      bwwwahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

    • Left Coast Tom

      I’ve never heard of “construction” forcing the President from the White House, at least not since the British set fire to it in 1814.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        Actually, Harry Truman lived in Blair House from December 1948 to March 1952 while the WH was completely gutted and rebuilt. The only remaining parts of the original structure are the exterior walls.

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1c9d9ce94b63d65e4c1041fa50868c6526449f3cf9d772ab87892ec61efc507c.jpg

        • Left Coast Tom

          Too bad Harry Truman didn’t own a golf course in Missouri, he could have spent the Korean War on vacation.

          • georgiaburning

            Harry’s vacation home at Key West, on what was the Navy base, looked pretty sweet. Also not much extra cost to the taxpayers to have him there, though I’m sure the Repubs complained.

        • wait! what?

          Yeah, but they only gutted it because they government was looking for the one clue that would help them find Cibola…

          • Khavrinen

            Turns out it was on the back of the Declaration of Independence the whole time!

            D’Oh!

        • SisterArtemis

          I had no idea. I have an armchair interest in the architecture of the White House, but didn’t know that part of the history

          • Bub, the cynical zombie

            Yeah, the place was on the verge of collapse. There is some mention of the whole episode in David McCullough’s Truman biography. Truman was living in Blair House when Puerto Rican nationalists attempted to assassinate him in 1950.

        • Not living in a White House with no interior is understandable.

          Having to move out because they are rearranging furniture and changing the wallpaper, on the other hand. . .

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        the article the other day said they do renovations/repairs each august (or most augusts) when the pres is usually on vacation.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Meetings with the architects of his condo development in Dubai, meetings with his lawyers, calls to Russian banks to arrange financing for his condo development in Dubai…

      • wait! what?

        …interior decorators regarding shower curtains that can be worn as robes…

    • gallbladder

      And so it begins. I fucking knew it!

    • data_ninja

      It’s probably a lot easier to dodge investigative surveillance, as well as get spied on over less secure infrastructure, when you go to different locations to ‘work’.

    • Bill D. Burger
      • Unlike that lazy, not-American Obummer, the Great Orange Hope can multitask, and he’s meeting and making phone calls while golfing, which means he’s working. And, also, that the green fees are tax deductible, even though he’s charging the taxpayers for them in the first place.

      • Suttree

        “Watch this drive.”

      • Msgr_MΩment

        He gets his best ideas while golfing.
        He gets ideas while golfing.
        He’s away from the launch codes while golfing.

    • ltmcdies

      Your own team said it was a 17 day vacation, Donnie

      • Khavrinen

        “Hey, it’s their job to make their lies fit mine, not the other way around!”

    • Suttree

      It does happen that work needs to be done on the White House on occasion. Maybe if you put effort into anything besides lying and taking weekend golf trips and twatting and…………………..
      https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/04/us/politics/trump-vacation-west-wing-renovation.html

    • jesterpunk

      Do those phone calls and meetings have anything to do with getting more members for his golf courses?

    • therblig

      trumpy on the defensive. the vacation story has been out there for over a week.

  • OneYieldRegular

    I, for one, am just hoping it’s not another Italian.

    Lucky Luciano has been dead for too long.

  • Lyly Sirivong
    • Serai 1

      Jesus fucking Christ. Next week she’ll go after that asshole that DARED TO SHAKE HER HAND.

      • Lyly Sirivong

        What ? People generally don’t have their hands shaken without consent (unless you’re shaking Trump’s hand, I suppose…) On the other hand, that shit above happens all the time. I don’t see why women should put up that kind of things.

        • Serai 1

          Oh, FFS. Calling a cop? Having someone arrested? It was a KISS ON THE CHEEK. This kind of thing does NOT help women’s legitimate complaints about men’s behavior to be taken seriously. If she wants to embarrass the guy, fine. Put the footage up and make him a pariah. But it does nobody any good at all to pretend this rises to the level of assault.

          • Lyly Sirivong

            As if simple embarassment worked… If it did, he would not have done this in the first place. I mean, It was a live TV broadcast !
            Calling the police might seem excessive, but if she doesn’t, I doubt the man will become a pariah. What will probably happen is that they will find the guy, interview him, he’ll say an insincere apology, and afterwards he’ll have a good laugh about it with his friends and carry on like nothing happened.
            As I say, this kind of thing happens all the time, because people always downplay it.

          • Serai 1

            Cute, but the police department is not a surrogate for pointing and laughing. They have ACTUAL CRIMINALS to catch. Like I said, all this does is make the issue of assault look like something women just can’t stop whining about. Because that’s what this is – whining. Great way to advance the cause, all right.

          • Lyly Sirivong

            It’s not about pointing and laughing and it’s not whining. We’ll never agree so let’s leave it at that.

  • Serai 1
    • gallbladder

      BAM!

  • Maclare, Local Milk Person 🍼
    • gallbladder

      Smell? What smell?

    • Bill D. Burger

      He’s working in the Trump White House?
      “Best thing for him, really, his therapy was going nowhere.”

      https://pixel.nymag.com/imgs/daily/vulture/2017/02/13/13-Stephen-Miller.w1200.h630.jpg

    • Major_Major_Major

      Pogo the clown is his spirit animal.

    • Doug Langley

      Reminds me of a Columbo episode. Our hero just couldn’t find the body, so he had no case. He congratulated the murderer on out-smarting him. Then he said “Oh, do you mind if I use your phone? It’s local.” Columbo dials a number, then hangs up. Suddenly we hear a beeping sound. Columbo goes back to where workmen are putting up new walls. He pries out one wall and reveals the victim. The killer had forgot to remove her beeper.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    I know some of you have mentioned that you’re watching “Ozark” on Netflix. HOLY FUCK THAT SHOW IS AMAZEBALLS!!
    So, I have a question (don’t worry, I don’t do spoilers). I have been down south a handful of times, but for the vast majority of my life I’ve been in Chicago/Milwaukee/Dublin/Marseille. (I’m not trying to humblebrag, but I realize I kinda totally am. Sorry.)
    As fucked up as many of my life experiences have been, I am very cognizant of how, as a white person, albeit a woman, I am incredibly privileged.
    SO! Back to my question. I know there’s a difference between hillbillies and rednecks. I know that in addition to the stereotypes, there are black peeps and brown peeps who self-identify as either one of those.
    My question, what is the difference between the two?

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Rednecks are mean white trash. Hillbillies are white trash, who may or may not be cool

      • Suse

        Mayberry had hillbillies who’d come to town once in awhile. They were all nice folk, except Ernest T. Bass, who liked to throw rocks and break winders.

        • wait! what?

          I hear the women are half bear, other half cat, wild as a mink, but sweet as soda pop…

          https://youtu.be/77hneLgt33k

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            My home state anthem!

          • armed_bears

            …I still dream of that.

          • armed_bears

            … and Sonny was too cool for his era.

          • wait! what?
          • armed_bears

            Him also too… but the ’67 soul-patch wearin’ version of Sonny Osbourne…

      • therblig

        blig jr uses both terms, to the chagrin of ms. blig, who is a bona fide appalachian. he usually shuts up when i remind him that half of his genes come from that pool.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I saw a sign in Appalachia recently that said something about “the orange clown…” I couldn’t read the whole thing because I was driving and I had people behind me. It was heartening to know that some people, even though they might be white and poor, and hillbillies, can see what a joke Trump is.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      my guess…hillbillies are from the mountains of appalachia.

      Rednecks are the rest of these southern folk (your neck gets red from being out in the sun all day riding horses or plowing fields or whanot).

      I’m from the desert, so grain o salt.

      • DrBigHead

        I think hillbilly refers to anyone from the rural mountains, Appalachia as well as the Ozarks. In that well-known sociological treatise “The Beverly Hillbillies”, the protagonists were from the Ozarks. Also, Ms. BigHead grew up in rural southern Illinois and lived in one of a number of small valleys draining into the Illinois river known officially as “Hollows” (pronounced locally as “hallas”).I would think that anyone that grew up in a “halla” would be considered a Hillbilly. As a matter of fact, that is how both my urban-raised brother-in-law and I refer to out shared in-laws. Not to the spouse faces, of course. We are not stupid :)

      • alpacapunchbowl

        That’s pretty much what I always thought, but I’ve come to realize that it’s much more complicated and interesting than that.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Oh? I should be watching, then? I’ve been looking for something new and dark.

      • Suse

        I’ve only seen the first 3 eps, but I’m impressed. Laura Linney can do no wrong in my book.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        A few people recommended it to me. Since Jason Bateman is one of the stars I asked if it was a comedy (I am an absolute devotee of Arrested Development.)
        Hoooooo boy. There’s some funny moments, but that show is INTENSE. In a good way. I am loving it, and I wish I had more people with whom I could about it.
        Sweet baby fuckin jaysis almighty, that show is fantastic!

        • Martini Ambassador 🍸

          Ok, it’s on my list! Thanks!

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      The term Hillbillies comes from a reference to the many Williams from Scotland who came to the US and settled in the Appalachian mountains, where I’m from. I’m a hillbilly. Unfortunately, that word has many negative connotations. Stereotypes!

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        yeah, deliverance wasn’t too kind to y’all.

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          There are certainly people out there who are like the Deliverance guys. But Appalachian Mountaineers are just like any other group. We aren’t monolithic.

      • Left Coast Tom

        I thought as a non-native Hawaiian resident of Hawaii you’d be a “Haole”?

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          Hillbilly Haole!

          • NorthernSaber

            There’s an album title, right there. Genre?

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            It would have to be Hawaiian music done with banjoes. Or bluegrass done with ukuleles.

          • NorthernSaber

            Well, at least banjoes can be tuned…

          • Querolous

            Slack key banjo? I’ll pass.

    • Sheepshagger

      Hillbillies are tied to their place. They know who their daddies daddies daddy was. They’re tribal. Rednecks are the floating mass. It’s a sort of nobility of place conceit.

    • Major_Major_Major

      As a southern, hillbillies have the twang, prolly like guns and god, but aren’t particularly racist. Think southerners what didn’t support secession. Rednecks are not necessarily southern, but embrace the lost cause, are pig fuck ignorant and proud of it. A hillbilly will be polite by nature. A redneck will be polite to white.

    • I’ll defer to Charles Portis here…

      “Babcock knew no Southerners personally but he had seen them in court
      often enough…and Ed’s manner and appearance said Dixie to him. He
      imagined Ed at home with his family, a big one, from old geezers to
      toddlers. He saw them eating their yams and pralines and playing their
      fiddles and dancing their jigs and guffawing over coarse jokes and
      beating one another to death with agricultural implements.”

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Hmm, interesting. Other than the “praw-leens”, that sounds like some good old classic anti-Irish propaganda.

        • Portis is essential reading- ‘True Grit’ is both a classic Western and a subversion of the genre. Neither movie really does it justice.

          • foiled again

            He writes about things like cutting a tire on wet sharp rocks. Portis is essential.

          • I love his description of the car with a one-quarter slack in the steering wheel from ‘The Dog of the South’.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            I LOVED the Coen Bros take on True Grit.
            Haven’t read the book yet. Yet. Looking forward to it :)

        • NorthernSaber

          It does- and was there not a pretty strong Celtic component to Appalachian settlement? I know musically the connections are all over the place, and I think there are linguistic connections as well.

          • RobespierreHoo

            Scots-Irish are rife in Appalachia. Former Sen. Jim Webb is one, and did some good books/articles on the clan. Violent, drunk, and always right. Not folks to debate with over much of anything .

          • NorthernSaber

            Yeah- Andrew Jackson came out of that line as well, come to think of it. Jesus, the Battle of Culloden really had some repercussions, didn’t it?

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Oh, FUCK YES! The best bluegrass (in my humble opinion) is the bluegrass that starts from the basis of good folk tradition and stirs EVRYBODY into ecstasy!

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        Yeah. I can’t tell you how many family members I’ve lost to praline choking, jigs gone wrong, and garden hoe beheadings.

    • Catstro

      I have lots of thought about this. I’ve grown up with hillbillies, rednecks, and white trash. From my perspective, hillbillies generally want to be left alone. They’ve been living in the holler for hundreds of years, and they’d just as soon you stay the fuck out, and not just because theyve got a still/pot patch. They don’t like outsiders, and while most *don’t* marry their cousins, they probably are going to marry someone from the same county. They give zero fucks about their mode of transportation aside from “does it mostly run”. They have more a of real food and music culture than rednecks (who are just lowbrow mainstream in food and music tastes), and if you pick a fight with one of them, you’re fighting the whole family. Generally poor, but not necessarily, but very, very rarely wealthy. If wealthy you wouldn’t know it and they probably keep their money under their mattress. Must live in the mountains, either Appalachian or Ozark. Rednecks are everywhere. Generally working class or poor, but can also be wealthy. Always got the newest, loudest car or truck they can finance regardless of social class. Love top-40 country, Chik-fil-A, and anything that pisses off liberals. Both labels are pejorative, though some people who are actual rednecks or hillbillies will use it to describe themselves is a positive way.

    • foiled again

      The lone West Virginian from up in Them Thar Hills I know is an expert machinist and committed unfascist.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Aw, ugh. That bums me out. I love artisans and if I could afford it, I would fund small and smart artisan businesses.

    • Alan

      Rednecks are intentional jerks. Hillbillies are victims of circumstance and may or may not be jerks.

    • akryan

      Hillbillies are the most rural of rural rednecks. Broke as hell, militantly ignorant, and constantly pissed about something. They’ve sort of become an endangered species just because the modern economy and world has left them behind. Anyone with the education and means gets the fuck out and never goes back. Rednecks are of the same breed, just less rural and with a little more money. They are genetically required to have the biggest shiniest truck they can afford.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara
    • Suse

      My friend saw him perform a couple of months before he died. She said he was so sick that he really shouldn’t have tried. Sad.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I wanted to see Gregg Allman again before he died, but sadly, I didn’t get the chance. I knew he was going to die this year, too, so I felt a bit of urgency.

  • ltmcdies

    I agree with the clever soul on line that stated WH communications directors are not unlike Hogwarts Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. Short tenure

    • mackafritz

      Or Spinal Tap drummers.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Ba dum tish!

        //clutches heart, falls over

      • AJ Milne

        Dozens of communications directors spontaneously combust each year. It’s just not widely reported.

        • HogeyeGrex

          You can’t really dust for vomit.

      • therblig

        or Roxy Music bass players

        • Old town Urbandale

          or Grateful Dead keyboard players

        • foiled again

          Or Fall drummers. BTW, Alan Spenner FTW.

    • wait! what?
      • Prevaricate

        • wait! what?

          As in:

          All of them; prevari-caté!

          • Doug Langley

            Should it disturb me that I heard that in a Dalek voice?

          • Canned Covfefe

            Maybe, but now that you mention it…

  • Ezio
    • HazooToo

      What in Gods name is that from?

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara
    • therblig

      great album. one of the first i ever bought.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I loved that album when I was a youth. For some reason I got on a Leon Russell kick tonight. I had no idea that over 200 artists had recorded Masquerade. There were a lot of good songs on that album.

    • Steve Cole

      “If the shoe fits” still a favorite.

  • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

    For fuck’s sake, I had 9 in the last pool for how long scarface would last. Missed it by 1 day. Are there any squares left in the pool for miller?https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7f73bd4bb75b1dab9156a7cf1e5d89b4c276a114cfcd385e7acb78550aced136.jpg

  • The Flaming Carrot

    I used to think Steve looked like Dr. Medulla in Sky High (only not smart). Then I realized . . . https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1q9J5i3jCCM

  • I, for one, am just hoping it’s not another Italian.

    Da vero, ragazza!

    • Alan

      Perfect.

  • Khavrinen

    “YOU BET SHE IS. And no one can stop her. I mean, me.”

    Careful, there; once you start referring to yourself in the third person, you’re drifting toward Bob Dole territory.

    • Bob Dole doesn’t know how this comment relates to Bob Dole. Bob Dole would like you to explain yourself to Bob Dole, because Bob Dole needs to understand about your thoughts on Bob Dole.

      • persistently_resistant_gayby

        I’ve just Bob Dole’d reading this phrase about Bob Dole requiring some answers on Bob Dole.

        • Yr. Gma

          Elmo’s got mail!

  • Cosmopolitan John
    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      HARD PASS PASS PASS .

    • CountryClubJihadi

      He either needs a spray tan or some nipple rings. Something to break up the blinding pastiness.

      • gallbladder

        What about a Prince Albert?

      • I suspect if he dropped his pants, you would find some leftover orange stains.

    • Jamoche
    • Dazza

      That explains why Trump suddenly needed a vacation.

    • Alan
      • Major_Major_Major

        Donny just couldn’t resist the urge to let Putin’s red wiggler back into his mouth.

    • So you are sort of like planned parenthood now; providing birth control?

      • janecita

        Let’s be honest, for an old man he is quite fit. He is still an asshole though.

    • Mike Steele

      Think Vlad is just trolling Donald’s ‘See-I’m-Only-Marginally-Yuger-Than-The-Caddyshack-Guys-Plus-I-Own-This-Fuckin’-Course-But-Not-Quite-Free-And-Clear-But-I-Swear-Vlad-(buddy!)-The-Check-Is-In-The-Mail’ posts.

  • Lyly Sirivong
    • gallbladder

      Can we bring it to The Vatican?

    • Did the middle finger have the same connotation at the time, or is this just a happy coincidence?

      • Lyly Sirivong

        Don’t quote me on that, but I read somewhere that humans were already flipping the bird in Roman times (People who saw Titanic wondered if it was historically possible for Kate Winslet’s character to do that in 1912.)

  • I am completely in favor of Stephen Miller being the new communications director. The more he is in public, the more people will release what a little cockroach he is, and thus the quicker he will be fired. We can’t get rid of these little racist pieces of crap too fast in my opinion.

    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      Although I recommend the WH Press Corps ought to carry a massive cross just for protection purposes.

      • I get the feeling Miller might try to burn the cross from force of habit.

        • persistently_resistant_gayby

          Before or after he dons his customary costume..?

          • Suttree

            Adult diapers and a sucky thing?

            (Sorry, I really have no idea what those things are called. I’m never having children!)

      • aktlib101

        Garlic and Onions?

    • Mike Steele

      Shouldn’t take long. POLITICO did a profile last year – think it was called ‘The Believer’ – that was sufficiently horrifying to disqualify him for any public position…then again, we’re talkin’ TeamTrump…

  • SisterArtemis

    Completely OT, which is allowed in this nonexistent comment section.
    How many of you keep blogs? I’ve been wondering this for a while, and was searching through an old one for a photo, and thought of it once again.

    I keep journals using WordPress, and have on and off for years. Sometimes it’s just random reactions, sometimes it’s specific (I did one to track what I was reading, called Sister Artemis Blathers on About Books). I usually try to do one during presidential election years too, sometime as my RL self, sometimes as Sister Artemis, just to track what’s happening. This year (under my RL name) I petered out as the GOP was swept up in the Trump phenom, at the same time as the Bernie-Hillary-Stein squabbles were breaking out – it was just too depressing and annoying, and moving too fast for me to keep up with during my busy season.

    Currently I keep a journal on “current events” reactions, and do it as a blog to keep myself on track in expressing my thoughts, as opposed to chaotic scribbling in private, which is what it would descend into if I wasn’t allowing for the remote possibility someone else would read the entries. I learned from keeping academic journals, which my professors would occasionally read, that you write better if you have even a potential audience, and that I tend to clarify my thinking through the process, as opposed to just ranting.

    Anyway, just curious about all of you and your blogging habits.

    • Doug Langley

      I’ve blogged over on a weight lifting site for quite a few years. I use a different username.

    • I have a sadly neglected blog which I have mostly ignored for the better part of a year. tl;dr: a doctor accidentally switched my blood pressure medication for Effexor, and I only figured it out after I gained ALL THE WEIGHT and made good on all of the things I needed to accomplish before I could kill myself.

      Fortunately, accomplishing that last thing made me go, “Wait.” Unfortunately, it meant I had dug myself into a leetle hole, and also it meant that my brain chemistry was all fucked up and had been fucked up for … about a year. Also, my heart was not happy.

      I’m starting to regain interest and insight into my chosen subject, and I hope to start writing original stuff there, when I feel up to it. There’s a link in my profile.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i blogged about law newz back when i was a freelancer (good practice and more job opps), but it never took off.

    • Jonny On Maui

      I had to keep detailed lab logbooks at the salt mines. It was not always easy to keep the snark out. I’ve journaled some, started a Maui log that has since petered out.

      So not much, to answer your question. :-)

      • Suttree

        I wrote a few lines from Jabberwocky on my time sheet once. I was fired immediately. Then hired back a week later. :)

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Hmmm… I’ve flirted with getting my own blog. I usually keep a private journal for more personal things (though I’ve been slacking). Butduring the halcyon days of the 1st Obama administration I used to collate online news articles, usually with the unrealized intent of writing my hot takes on them. Sounds like something I should revisit, since I have been trying to jump into the “wannabe writer” Thing for a hot minute now.

    • Old town Urbandale

      Blogs? All the hip kids are now doing podcasts.

    • andreamd

      I hope everyone just collects my tweets

    • Blender_415

      Blog? My Geocities page is still under construction.

      • SisterArtemis

        Hey, I did Yahoo 360. Never heard of it? Yeah….

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      I used to blog a lot, but I’ve fallen out of the habit. I really should get back–like you, I feel it’s a good brain exercise.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      House of the Blue Lights, yo. If you can find it I’ll be impressed. doesn’t come up in a google search.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I would not keep a blog unless you held a gun to my head. We had to keep a daily journal in 10th grade English class and let the teacher read it every week, and I hated it like poison. Keeping a blog now would be like being back in high school, and I’d rather die.

    • II Gosala

      I don’t blog. I jot down lots of notes but they’re largely incoherent. I can’t imagine that they’d be of any interest to anyone else. They barely interest me. I think their real function is to let my mind discharge its excess energy.

    • RMKH

      I keep a bird list, does that count?

      I’ll let myself out.

      • Canned Covfefe

        ISWYDT

    • Suttree

      Who has time to blog when everything I write winds up here?

      • SisterArtemis

        That has been a major obstacles to writing more for my blog

    • Steve Cole

      I am still on blogspot.

    • Mike Steele

      When Lady MS needs to unload, I’ll vent my spleen on ‘so-called’ congresscritter, stop by here or drop in at our First Saturday writers’ group at the local library.

  • HazooToo

    Question: What the hell is Sarah Umbridge’s job title, and is she never considered for this position because she’s not a 10?

  • William
    • gallbladder

      Oh FUCK! Glad I got that 4.0 in human genetics, else I’d not be able to cope with your post.

      But still…

    • Jonny On Maui

      Thank you for tonight’s nightmare.

      • gallbladder

        Rolaids will be served before bedtime.

        • OutOfOrbit

          you put Rolaids in your eyes? that must feel strange

    • ltmcdies

      My eyes. My eyes…

    • PAUL REUBENS LIBELZ!!11!!

      …We all know he’d just jerk it in public before fucking that thing.

    • therblig

      “I did NOT mean to do that.” – P.W. Herman

    • Alex Grey

      Sarah Palin?

    • AuntyMaude

      I think I have it: this guy from Fargo except corpseier, more dead eyed, less humorous.

      • AuntyMaude

        Oh shoot. I don’t know how to put a picture in my post. Any advice?

      • AuntyMaude

        This is the guy.

        • AuntyMaude

          Nope, still not happening.

  • akryan

    I don’t know if the gods of comedy would be kind enough to give us Miller as the next comm director. Spicy was great. Mooch would have been epic.

    • jesterpunk

      Should SNL just start casting all the right wing nut jobs just in case they become press secretary or communications director just to save some time?

      • Mehmeisterjr

        If I were Lorne Michaels, I would put Paul Reubens on retainer.

  • NotALiar

    To Stephen, he’s the best… at being a big jerk who’s stupid and his big ugly face is as dumb as a butt!

  • Old town Urbandale

    I don’t think Miller’s going to play too well for the core Trumpers. Everybody liked Spicey (or at least felt sorry for him), Sarah’s like their chunky niece (and gets points for being Uncle Huck’s daughter), the Mooch was slick like those Italian actors in the movies (and was a billionaire to boot!), but Miller is that teacher’s pet you’d beat up in junior high.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Yeah, he’s definitely got the Pointdexter vibe that I’m not sure the mouth-breathers will appreciate.

      • Suse

        I thought they despised educated know-it-alls. Apparently not.

    • Suse

      “Teacher – you forgot to assign homework!”

    • Speaking as a teacher – there is no way in hell that little jerk would be my pet.

  • Michael R

    I posted this after Stephen Miller’s first effort back in February , he was awful ,
    nervous and a terrible liar , creepy . Hasn’t changed .

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/363135c5740b9968e3bc1490a730ac5ddfa8e3a967a8e22ca73be9f9c2c3f89f.gif

    • Canned Covfefe

      That’s rather disturbing and too nice for Miller

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Caitlyn Jenner, typical fucking Republican:
    “Caitlyn tells TMZ she drove from her Malibu home to Sherwood Country Club in Thousand Oaks, CA, in a 1960 Austin-Healey convertible. Before leaving home she realized she needed a hat … something better than a golf visor to protect her hair. So she rummaged through the 10 hats in her closet and grabbed one without looking at the stitching.
    She says when she got to the club she threw the hat on the floor of the car, spent an hour or so hitting some balls and left. When she got to the car she grabbed the hat (MAGA), saw the inscription and realized what she had done.
    She tells us she was horrified because she now detests Trump after he tweeted about the military transgender ban. Caitlyn says, “What he’s doing to our community is absolutely f***ing awful.””

    So she was cool with Trump when he was being a dick to Hispanics, blacks, Muslims, etc…, but she figures out he’s also going to screw trans people, and now she hates him? NIMBY needs to be changed to NWYSMO (not when you’re screwing ME over).

    • OutOfOrbit

      i takes some kinda nads to be such a whoreing bitch

    • jesterpunk
    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      And I kinda feel like that’s a “sure, nice story” line. She’s still fine with Trump, just embarrassed that she is being called out on the hypocrisy.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Maybe she’s experiencing buyer’s remorse, that she voted for such an idiot.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      And still couldn’t be bothered to at least burn that goddamn MAGA hat to express her outrage???

      Riiiight… mmm hmmm…

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Yes, if I wasn’t such a cynic, I’d actually believe that story. It sounds TOTALLY believable.

        • Such a filthy CMW comment

          To be honest, I think that she is that dumb, so I can believe it…

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Anything Trump is the last thing I’m grabbing to protect HAIR of all things!

      • OutOfOrbit

        puttin [anything] on yer head w/o knowing WTF?

        WTF!!!

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          Right?! It’s just like that time I wore a White Power t-shirt by accident. Oh. Wait. That never happened, because I don’t own a White Power shirt!

          • OutOfOrbit

            how about panties with teeth?

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            You don’t find out the answer to that until the moment they bite…

          • OutOfOrbit

            cant hang a man for tryin

          • Jonny On Maui

            Panties?

          • OutOfOrbit

            on 1st read i read White Powder shirt. i got ideas in my head cannut help it

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            Is the powder cocaine? ’cause it’s Saturday night and I’m in!

          • OutOfOrbit

            we get to snill & lick it off your…shirt area?

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            I have to say I have never been snilled before!

          • OutOfOrbit

            i mean sniff not snell

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Irony!

    • Me The People

      Such a convincing story too about the hat and how she forgot that she had such a hat, and then not realising she was wearing it, then discovering that she was wearing it, but then forgetting that she was wearing it.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Go away, Cailyn. NOBODY LIKES YOU…NOBODY

    • Jamoche

      I have lots of hats too, and I always know which one I’m wearing. Especially the ones with writing – can’t wear my “Hell No” Wonkette hat if I’m going to Safeway because people will think I work there. The employees do not wear hats, I don’t know why it happens.

      • Suttree

        Do they wear blue outfits, or not know if they stock any of the items you ask for?

        • Jamoche

          Red, it’s Safeway’s brand color. There are just people who are conditioned to see hats or khakis and polos as “employee”.

          • Suttree

            I don’t wear hats much, but I have been stopped by people in the supermarket before. Depending on who they are they receive different treatment. Little old ladies get a hand finding stuff. Guys above 21 and below 70 get an ass chewing if they don’t have a cane. Around the hardware store I’m nicer. Sometimes……

          • formerChild

            Like the time 80 random people wore blue polo shirts and khakis to Best Buy?

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgUIbPfhSuo

      • JustDon’tSayDignity

        LOL. “because people will think I work there”

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Like she didn’t look in the mirror after she put the hat on? People like her have a mirror in every room, sometimes two or three of them.

      • OutOfOrbit

        how can “she” be such a cunt? of all the kinds of ppl

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Not to mention in her CAR!!!

        • Angela Ruzzo

          I forgot about the mirror in her car, good point. I never ever use the mirror in my car to look at myself because I am naturally gorgeous and totally self confident about it, LOL, but Caitlyn can’t same the same.

          • Rags

            Like the Fonz!

      • And just to be clear, by “people like her” you mean rich Republicans who don’t give a shit about anyone who isn’t them.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Not really, although that is a good definition. I was thinking of rich-and-famous women, and rich socialite women – the kind of people who spend more money on clothes, shoes, makeup and hats than the GDP of some small countries. There’s no point to owning all that stuff if you can’t gaze enraptured at yourself in several mirrors several times a day, and tweak your perfection when necessary.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I’m surprised she’s got the chutzpah to wear it in California. You know, the state that voted overwhelmingly for Clinton, and whose votes don’t count.

    • Lyly Sirivong

      Does she expect us to believe that story ?

      • Suttree

        I would have expected some caveats about her Canadian girlfriend stealing her glasses at the very fucking least!

      • Bebecca

        Does she expect us to have sympathy for her plight?

        • grindstone

          I think what aggravates me the most is that she gained her fame and performed at her peak as a male, a celebrated male. She may have been conflicted and tortured all that time, I don’t know, but she has this inviolable pad of fame and money to cushion the blows now that she’s Caitlyn. And she reeks of “I got mine, so now I’m a conservative” that just galls. And when people call her out, she seems hurt. Gurl, you haven’t been fighting the fight all your life, so kindly shut up and maybe use your money and position to give others a podium — others who have something to say.

      • JustDon’tSayDignity

        Get Smart episode in the making. “Would you believe …the hat just fell on my head from orbit?”

    • TJ Barke

      Leopards eating people’s faces party…

      • JustDon’tSayDignity

        ‘Zackly. Weird the people we find who don’t have any empathy, when they expect so much from society themselves.

  • Jennifer R

    I present to you Crusader Cat. An infamous far right Christian furry most well known for his awful ugly bowl cut head on his suit, and his self documented attempt and failure at having sex with a house cat. Now bedeckling himself in neo nazi gear.

    https://www.twitter.com/JunoCoyote/status/893911227646189569

    • Suse

      Nope, not gonna look!

      • YoBunnyBunny

        One of you Wonkers is gonna have to take one for the team. I’m not doing it!

        • Jennifer R

          Think someone skinning and wearing Garfield, but with a shitty blonde bowlcut glued on.

          • YoBunnyBunny

            Ok, saw it… All I can say now is … why???

          • persistently_resistant_gayby

            Because – the internet.

          • Jennifer R

            The real reason is he actually sports that ugly mop. I am remembering his thread on SA and he looks just like his fur suit except pasty and white.

          • SadDemInTex

            Ewwwwwwww

          • OutOfOrbit

            you got moar hoots paw than me

        • persistently_resistant_gayby

          The fuck did I see – alt furry sex.?.?.?.

          • Jennifer R

            No that is when Foxler narrowly avoids jail time because the 16 year old he was grooming didn’t leave her house on his behest.

        • Jamoche

          Oh, it’s definitely funny-pathetic.

      • Jennifer R

        Fursuit with a bowl cut. You have to.

      • OutOfOrbit

        run!

    • Angela Ruzzo

      If that’s a cat, I’ll eat my hat (ha ha). Looks more like a chipmunk.

    • Jonny On Maui
      • Jennifer R

        Now I need someone to make a Crusaider Rabbit suit and challenge him to 1 on 1 combat.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          I need to get a costume of a short-legged, muscular quadrupedal marsupial and challenge him to one-on-one wombat.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        @ 5:05 jokes about Dewey for president and these redskins might be Democrats.
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brIA3Va-x-o

      • Rags

        Rags emphatically agrees!

      • The Librarian

        I missed this when I posted, lol.

    • gallbladder

      Oh fuck, fuck, FUCK!!!!

    • Alex Grey

      People on the internet, don’t need a new reason to hate on furries…

      • Jennifer R

        This is a public service of every non nazi fur.

    • Is this why they needed to fix the west wing air conditioning ASAP? So Stephen Miller can wear his furry suit at work.

      • Jennifer R

        Someone posted a photo of Charlestown shooter and fuck this suit looks like him.

    • TJ Barke
    • The Librarian

      No relation to Crusader Rabbit, I presume?

      • Jennifer R

        Correct, this is just a far right Christian nut job who is falling for nazism.

        • The Librarian

          😑 ugh

          • Jennifer R

            He was always a hot take spewing racist. You would think that a fandom that pretty much exists for marginalized queers to express themselves, wouldn’t attract so many breeders.

          • The Librarian

            That’s really odd.

          • Jennifer R

            Homeschooled conservative christian.

          • The Librarian

            That’s even odder. :)

    • HazooToo

      This looks like it belongs in the dictionary under the word “Angst”

    • Mike Steele

      And you present this why again…?

      • Jennifer R

        A service of the furry community. Policing our own basically.

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    Oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please – let this be true. I promise both God and Santa that I’ll never ask for anything ever, ever again, if Stephen Miller could just be appointed Communications Director.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      You were supposed to ask God and Santa to send me a beautiful pony! I can’t believe you would waste that wish on something like this instead!

      • OutOfOrbit

        you still want a pony? that is sooo cosmopolitin

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          I’m very fancy.

      • Lorindel Ó Loingsigh

        … and it’s a chintzy wish too, since this is only a two week job.

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          And a pony is forever!

          • Lorindel Ó Loingsigh

            I had a pony, much like most disgusting cosmopolitan scum. They are forever.

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            I bet your pony feasted on only the finest Dijon mustard.

          • Lorindel Ó Loingsigh

            …on the finest of challah, with raisins.

          • Major_Major_Major

            Or at least a week of meals, and all the glue you can use.

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            Safe to say you’ve gone and made the list of people not allowed to hang out with my bitchin’ pony.

            List of People Not Allowed to Hang out With My Bitchin’ Pony-

            1. Donald Trump
            2. Bub the Cynical Zombie (He knows why. Canadian.)
            3. Major_Major_Major

          • Major_Major_Major

            That’s fine, as long as i can have some poné arsada tacos when they are done.

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            Hahaaa! I mean, You’re sick!

          • Wait, Canadians aren’t allowed to play? I haz a sad now

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            Just Bub! ;)

          • Thank FSM!

          • JustDon’tSayDignity

            You Mauiri people crack me the fuck up!

          • Jonny On Maui

            Just great! Now she’s making lists again…

          • Major_Major_Major

            Hangs head, mumbles srry

    • gallbladder

      What about the Easter Bunny? He’d be insulted not to be included.

      • OutOfOrbit

        and Sinatra

        • Alex Grey

          Seriously, why do people like him? He just talks along with music.

          • OutOfOrbit

            & just a tad off key

          • gallbladder

            Dean-O will always be king.

  • persistently_resistant_gayby

    https://twitter.com/albz/status/893884940907143171

    “It’s finally happening – we will achieve our dreams”

  • Rick Hill
    • persistently_resistant_gayby
    • Rick Hill

      Just sayin’, yer own Rick Hill is no beer snob. Not with a history of drinking many Mickey Bigmouths. Still, and all, even my taste buds will prefer a Clamato over any of these light or non light, mass consumed beer like beverages made in America.

      • Khavrinen

        I like the line from “Bimbos of the Death Sun”:
        ( Paraphrasing, cause it’s been a long time since I read it )

        “If you sent most American beer to a lab for analysis, the results would come back ‘Your horse has diabetes’.”

    • JustDon’tSayDignity

      THEN neither will I” goddamit.

    • Jim Gormley

      I speak that truth to anyone who offers me a bottle of piss; AKA most ‘Murkan mass produced “beer”

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    The best part of this shitty analogy is the brutal takedowns
    https://twitter.com/billjamesonline/status/893936420645216256

    • TJ Barke

      Yeah, guess again, fuckface.

    • jesterpunk

      More republicans taking personal responsibility for their actions.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Ummm. Not vote for him.

    • persistently_resistant_gayby
    • The Librarian

      What an ass. What an asinine analogy.

    • jesterpunk
    • akryan

      Um, not vote for him? That seems like a pretty obvious course of action.

    • JD Mulvey

      If they hadn’t lied to their supporters for eight years, the consumate liar wouldn’t have found a willing audience in 2016.

    • Lyly Sirivong
      • jesterpunk

        There it is, its Democrats fault republicans voted for Trump.

        • Wild Cat

          He’s good at baseball pre-steroid era. He’s a shameful apologist if anyone challenges his current fantasies. But don’t expect much logic from a robotic brain in human flesh. I deal with these guys a lot on the job; it’s not pleasant.

    • Jamoche

      “If the number of replies to a tweet vastly outpaces its engagement in terms of likes and retweets, then something has gone horribly wrong.”
      http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/news/a54440/twitter-ratio-reply/

    • II Gosala

      Norway is a better analogy since the Republican party is infested with Quislings

    • JustDon’tSayDignity

      JFC, who is this fucking guy? He has the reasoning ability of a Tiny Tim tribute band.

      • Wild Cat

        I actually saw Tiny Tim live when I was a kid in the early 70s. He did a knockout version of Secret Agent Man way before Devo.

        • theCryptofishist

          I have a certain amount of respect for the man. I have the album he did with Brave Combo, and he has these songs for the 1920s or the late 1800s that are interesting and no worse than some of the songs that survived from that time. (I’m looking at you, ‘Enery the Eighth.) I think he was unlucky that he wasn’t able to find the audience who would really appreciate him, and his sexuality and gender identity may have been a little complicated for his time.

          • Mike Steele

            Lady MS, sadly, has none. He & Ms. Vicky trashed a room at the HI where I was Asst. Innkeeper, crushing food and peacock blue ink into the carpet. Insufficient talent to compensate for the wreckage, I’m afraid.

          • theCryptofishist

            Dang. Didn’t seem like the type. But yes, that would put me off him, also, too.

        • JustDon’tSayDignity

          Wait, wut? I thought he was dead.

    • Wild Cat

      Adolf, not Adolph, you twit.

    • Mike Steele

      In the primary, there were 16 of them up against one bloviating fuckwit. Any one, or more, or all of them could have simply told him to STFU. Did they ALL let the playground bully in school call them names w/o fighting back? If so, ‘the party’ is comprised of nothing but spineless wimps…oh…never mind.

  • persistently_resistant_gayby

    https://twitter.com/cgbposts/status/893617781962399744

    LET’S BOP TO THE BEAT AND RECLAIM OUR TIME!

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Saturday mornings on teevee weed and shrooms when I was a wee lad. You just had to be then.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orUNj09oN4U

    • ThirdAmendmentMan

      I miss college.

      Well not really. I miss being as irresponsible as I was in college.

    • Jonny On Maui

      I’ll see your H.R. Pufnstuf and raise you Bananas in Pajamas…

      https://youtu.be/5ysogK6v21I

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        You win. Please, no more.

      • Jamoche
        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          THE AWESOME

          • AuntyMaude

            The promos for the B Splits were thrilling, but the show left me cold.

        • La forza del resistino

          One could blame the producers for springing the Furries culture upon us.

        • 3FingerPete

          Unknown to fans at the time, Fleegle and Snorky hated each other. The couldn’t spend much stage time together without a fist fight breaking out. The feud lasted until Snorky’s violent death in a seedy Las Vegas motel room.

      • I see your Bananas and raise you a pineapple trying to teach you French:

        https://youtu.be/rBSflK1FTSY

    • JustDon’tSayDignity

      Doesn’t count unless you went to see the movie.

      My folks took us to see the movie. I have good parents.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        There was a movie?!!

        Obviously, my parents didn’t love me at all and kept this information from me. Cruelty.

        • Edith Prickly

          They showed us the movie at school – like on a film projector and everything (I am so old that VCRs had not been invented when I was in second grade.) I think it was near the end of the school year and they were trying to keep us from going squirrelly.

    • Juan McCain

      I still have nightmares of being trapped in Witchiepoo’s castle.

    • Beautiful Soup

      https://youtu.be/06R80-I8tcI
      In case you have not seen Mr. Show’s take…

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I remember that show. For some odd reason it was compelling when I was young, probably because we only had 2 TV channels in my town in those days.

  • Just went for a quick swim. Haven’t done that in a while. It felt really good. Haven’t missed pool-smell in my hair

    • OutOfOrbit

      i haz propensity to sink

      • Well, the pool is barely 4′ deep, so just stand up here and you’ll be fine

        • OutOfOrbit

          yeah but still…

      • theCryptofishist

        I bob like a fucking cork and paddle around very aimlessly…

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      I’m happy that the new place is working well for you and you seem to be enjoying it. All that packing was worth the effort.

      • I am still not fucking unpacked. I still have to figure out what to do with my cookbooks and set up my storage room so my mixing bowls and board games are accessable

        • Martini Ambassador 🍸

          Oh, I can relate. I think I’ve moved some unpacked boxes from 4 or 5 houses/apartments ago. Probably don’t need those mysterious items any more, really.

          • Most of what’s staying packed is old school stuff that my mom will be upset if i throw out. I also have to sort out my mis-matched plastic containers. Gonna get rid of all the stuff that doesn’t have lid/ container anymore

          • memzilla Ω

            Suggestion: scan all your school stuff into PDFs and store it digitally.

          • I was thinking more along the lines of making my mom store them

          • Vienna Woods

            I’m constantly trying to get my sons to go through their stuff stored here. Not much success

          • OutOfOrbit

            why do you hate your mom?

          • I don’t, but she’s the one who’s guilting me into keeping stuff

  • Picabo
    • Alex Grey

      Reward: Presidency.

  • Suttree

    Well, so the news is that I got Lizzie packed and “cleaned” this week. She still didn’t get her deposit back because the floors weren’t spotless. But we got the moving company in there yesterday, and they packed everything and got it unloaded at her new place in Syracuse the same day. She’s having problems with her internet hookup, so they’re supposed to come over Monday, after she gets done with her first day of work at her new job.

    That’s kinda it, besides the fact that I terribly miss her. I figured I’d write this before I got stinking drunk.

    • Big hugglez to both of you.

    • SadDemInTex

      Bus rides can be very enjoyable! And think how cool her new place is and how much fun it will be to hang with her there. I hope you can find a job closer but IT CAN WORK. My spouse and I are proof.

      • Suttree

        Thanks! Apparently it’s a 5 hour bus trip. I’m used to traveling 2 hours into NYC from Jersey every weekend. I think I can handle this.

        • I just googled…if you’re up visiting, Niagra Falls is only 2 hrs away from Syracuse….and i will totally haul to niagra to meet you guys!

          • Suttree

            Awesome.

          • theCryptofishist

            My parents met at Syracuse*… Supposedly, there’s a George Sachs building or something at the campus, but I have’t been able to find it on an internet site when I’ve looked. But if you find one, please, give me a report.

            *At a meeting of a drinking society. That whole damn marriage was a disaster. Those statements may or may not be connected by more than proximity.

          • Suttree

            Hehe! I have also met women at the “drinking society”. We held meeting everyday around 5ish.

            If I wind up around campus for some reason, I’ll take a look. But Lizzie already has degrees. :)

          • theCryptofishist

            I didn’t really expect you to dash out and do this, it was more of a “… if you’re in the neighborhood…” thing.
            And thanks.

          • Suttree

            Hehe. I’ll be up in Syracuse soon enough. We will have to figure out something to do. Hopefully someone around the corner has a bike that I can steal. Then we can go riding together.

          • theCryptofishist

            Wonkette has lured so many into a life of petty theft.

          • Suttree

            SO far it has mostly been jumping fares on the subway. Sometimes your machines don’t work! Sometimes I’m drinking and I don’t feel like paying. Ya know? I’m trying to get laid and save enough money for a bottle of wine you fuckers!

    • OutOfOrbit

      you & Bacons & Shanz & Lizzie should start a support groop

      • Suttree

        Shanz friended me on FB last week. It’s a start. Baconz is a hell of a lot closer to us than Shan is!

        • OutOfOrbit

          i donut have a faceplate to like peeps on

          • Suttree

            You are a smarter person than I am.

  • La forza del resistino

    Who could possibly top the Mooch’s short lived performance?
    Stephen Miller, sez, Hold my beer.

    • jesterpunk

      How many Mooches will he last?

      • TJ Barke

        I give him 2, 3 maybe.

      • Wookie Monster

        Half a Mooch.

  • Keith Taylor

    Not to worry for a second, Robyn Pennacchia aka brilliant visually stunning angel. Even if the new professional ratbag IS Italian (hope not, too) nobody would ever confuse you with Donald Trump’s kind of Italian. Any more than they’d confuse the brilliant visually stunning angel who married me, with Donald Trump’s kind of Italian.
    But maybe, for the sake of your disposition, you could now ignore these loons and write a piece about Michaelangelo or Garibaldi or Marconi?
    I can hear Donald Trump now. “Marconi? Terrific guy. He’s doing great work. He’s my next communications director. He’s the best at communications. Most people don’t know that.”

    • theCryptofishist

      Plus, Trump would love that Marconi got credit for Tesla’s work. He needs a constant current of sleaze around him.
      (Was it actually Tesla? I know it was somebody, and I know Tesla got punked at least once, but I can no longer remember these things, and I”m too lazy for the wiki…)

      • Vienna Woods

        I thought it was Edison who stole from Tesla

        • You are correct. And Tesla, unfortunately, did not look like Bowie

          • Zyxomma

            He didn’t look like Bowie, but he WAS extremely handsome.

      • CripesAmighty

        Tesla? He makes a great car. Real up and comer.

    • Edith Prickly

      Marconi is an example of someone who’s doing an amazing job and is getting recognized more and more, I’ve noticed.

      • Left Coast Tom

        Well, they have named streets after him in Sacramento. Now we just need Sacramento to get recognized more and more.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Just don’t tell Trump about Cesare Borgia, or he’ll want to hire him as Chief of the Secret Service, and then there will be more trouble.

  • Picabo
    • AuntyMaude

      Saw this earlier. Awful and scary.

    • Wookie Monster

      Another “lone nut” who won’t be called a terrorist by our liberal media.

      • Augustus

        so Liberal

    • Serai 1

      Seriously, Minnesota? SERIOUSLY?

  • memzilla Ω
  • Nounverb911
  • Wookie Monster

    These are the “best people” Trump surrounds himself with.

  • Picabo
  • msanthropesmr
  • Michael R

    OK on Star Trek why does the Gorn have teeth and never bites ?
    ( happening now !!! )

    • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

      I’m taking that as a rhetorical question. You still get an up-vote for your reference to Star Trek.

    • Michael R
      • HazooToo

        Why does this look like a really bad blind date, and not a life or death struggle?

    • msanthropesmr

      Because the porridge bird lays it’s egg in the air.

    • OutOfOrbit

      i haz teeth & donut bite tho some call me jawz

    • CripesAmighty

      Dentists appointment. Novacaine wore off.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      He doesn’t like the taste of Human?

  • msanthropesmr
    • Major_Major_Major

      Having a reaction to the Genny Cream Ale? It has the same effect on me once it hits room temperature.

      • msanthropesmr

        It’s ice cold.

    • Picabo

      Rochester, NY? I graduated from RIT. Fond memories. Thanks.

    • Covfefe

      Must be a cat. No dog would drink Genesee.

  • Nounverb911

    Trump’s working hard while on his ‘working’ vacation…
    https://twitter.com/lukeoneil47/status/893967313652854784

    • La forza del resistino

      Golf cart with imported Kawasaki power train.

    • Suttree

      His digits are soo short, you can’t even see him giving you the bird.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      PETGC (People for the Ethical Treatment of Golf Carts) objects!

  • msanthropesmr
  • Nounverb911

    A wedding happened today at trump’s club, here he is getting to feel up kiss the bride.
    https://twitter.com/lukeoneil47/status/893974230806781952

    • RMKH

      I bet he demanded droit du seignur

      • Suttree

        Any dumbasses getting married there deserve his venereal diseases.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        As wingman on behalf of Putin.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      I give that marriage one year, tops.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Can’t somebody tape the fat fuck’s nipples? I just ate, here!

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        Show some respect! Those are presidential nipples!

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Presidential nipples are overrated.

    • La forza del resistino

      Can’t his service detail keep him secret?

    • I cannot think of a single thing to write about this that at least 80% of my fellow Wonkettes wouldn’t find offensive and demeaning.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Why would anybody, I mean anybody, book a wedding reception into any Trump property?

      It’s been awhile since I’ve attended a wedding but I have been to wedding receptions in church basements, Polish Falcon halls, middle-class restaurant banquet rooms and a few country clubs.

      Every single one was fun, even when the marriage itself didn’t turn out so well, and in no case did I fear that the owner of the reception hall would turn up, gross, slobbering, greasy and sweaty, and grope the bride.

      Why pay good money to subject yourself to that?

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Maybe the parents are members of the club, and then they get a discount??? Just guessing here, as I don’t have a single friend who is a member of a golf club or a country club.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          That sounds like a marginally rational explanation, although it raises (not “begs,” please pop journos, learn this distinction) the question of why anybody would become a member of a Trump golf club in the first place.

          Well, yeah, Russian spies would join because you can set up secret servers and launder money.

          But don’t they book most of their weddings in St. Basil’s with the reception in a Kremlin torture chamber?

          For anybody else, what would be the attraction?

          You get to dine on fine taco bowls and chocolate cake?

          The help have been stiffed for their pay and spit in your taco bowls and on your chocolate cake?

          He runs his golf cart over the greens?

          And then he grabs your daughter’s pussy like a bitch on her wedding day?

          I don’t get it.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Also, lots of people go to scenic places with good landscaping just to have their wedding photos taken there. There is a church near me that was moved here from London, built by Sir Christopher Wren, which is now the National Churchill Museum, and it has this gorgeous staircase. Wedding parties go there just to have photos taken on the staircase. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/db3cb2ab824e3868ef99728e5f6111e754e8a4eb386fcb8fc9849192b236a962.jpg

          • Mehmeisterjr

            A scenic place for the wedding photos sounds good.

            I could go for that.

            My niece went for a scenic place. And the reception was fun.

            I assume that a demented Churchill imitator didn’t chase the bride and her party across the grounds.

            I guess not.

            Tire tracks on the green and some horrible guy with dripping, sweaty moobs headed like a runaway train train at your butt doesn’t seem like the same thing.

    • DainBramage

      I’m sure he thinks he has the right of prima-nachte. *shudder*

      • Mehmeisterjr

        He definitely has the right of primo nacho and the greatest chocolate cake in the world.

  • Me not sure
    • You do not fuck with The Jesus

      • Browncoat Krieger IRL

        I’m telling you, Dude, he’s a pederast.

        • Jimh

          Eight year olds, Dude.

    • msanthropesmr

      Don’t fuck with the Jesus

  • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly
    • Suttree

      About 20 years ago I had a girlfriend. Our apartment only had a very nice old claw foot tub, no shower head. Her cat was very inquisitive about what humans did in the water, and like to walk around the lip of the tub. There is no fear like the fear of a cat’s razor sharp claws near your groin while she is looking for solid ground.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        My cat would pace back and forth along the edge of the tub looking very concerned, or stand on his back paws and stare at me with a puzzled look, and would occasionally try to touch me and be very surprised when his paw hit water. I think he thought I was either drowning, or had gone insane, because otherwise why would I be so foolish as to submerge my self in water?

        • Suttree

          I’m sure that Skya was reminded of when we used to bath her. She got covered in formula that we fed her because she was sooooo young.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I got the cat I mentioned above when he was a tiny 6-week-old kitten, and I discovered 3 days later that he had a major ringworm infestation (and by then, so did I). I had to bathe him every day in ringworm medicine for 6 weeks. This worked only because he was so small I could hold him down in a bucket with one hand while shampooing him with the other hand, but he was NOT HAPPY and he never forgot it. I had to buy a new bucket afterwards, because every time he saw the old one he would hiss at it. I also had to give him a pill every day for 6 weeks. This was torture for both of us.

          • Suttree

            Poor little baby kitty! We got 2 kittens found in a garbage can with their dead mother on Canal Street in NOLA. Skya made it, the other didn’t. They were only maybe 3-4 weeks old according to the vet. We worked hard to save them though. Sometimes it works. A month later I brought home another stray who was a bit bigger. They both live into their teens. With my ex-girlfriend of course, because she wasn’t breaking them up when she moved west. :)

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Poor kitty had bald spots all over him, and his nose was completely bald. It took a long time to grow back there. Here is a picture of him with two small bald spots still remaining on his nose. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1c37aec205722d1583ffd6315d8cf06d6c4bb7ebd7d0810e2cbc59918ad34186.jpg

          • Suttree

            Awwwwww! It to me a moment to orientate the picture. I was trying to figure out if he was coming from the floor or the ceiling. :)

          • Angela Ruzzo

            It was a carpeted cat condo. Weighed a ton, and I hauled it halfway across a mall to my car without any help, and I regretted it the next day when I could barely use my arms. The things we do for our cats. . .

          • Suttree

            :) I would be a completely different man without cats. Kitties have always shaped the way I go about the world. Cats have always told me which women to love. They have apparently shaped my personality as such, that one can hate me and love me at the same time. I’m not quite as furry as I used to be (I used to have long hair), but I am just as cuddly. Meow meow meow meow mewo!

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I don’t know who I would be if I had not lived with cats. . .I can’t imagine it. I saw and held my first kittie when I was 4. I was outside playing in the grass on a beautiful June day while my mother hung out wet sheets on the clothesline, and she made this noise of disgust because a grey fluffy kitten had crawled into her clean laundry basket. I took one look and fell madly in love for life. Somehow, some way, I managed to get my mother to let me keep it, even though she did not believe in pets or animals in the house. I called the kittie Scarlett O’Hara, and when my dad came home that weekend he gently suggested I rename it Rhett Butler, which I did. Rhett was the first of many. I don’t know why, but I have always given my cats People names, never names like Fluffy or Patches. It just never occurred to me not to give them People names.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          It’s a good thing that cats, clever as they are, have some intellectual limits.

          If they figured out the full picture, we would be their slaves.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Shhhh! They’re listening!

      • Catstro

        Our tub is horrible and shallow, and it leaves a solid chunk of your torso out of the water even when it’s full. When our ginger kitty was lil’, he would climb onto Sr. Cats belly like it was an island and just chill there for the duration of the bath.

        • Suttree

          Haha! That’s awesome! I don’t mind them being curious, just don’t cut up my junk little kitten.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Cats love to fuck with other cats.

  • Nounverb911
    • La forza del resistino

      We don’t get many dogs in here.
      At 12.50 for a beer, I can see why. Woof.

      • msanthropesmr

        What’s on top of a house?

    • Geoff Richmond

      Fake! No self respecting dog would be seen drinking Corona.

  • jesterpunk

    The Runaways Formed on this Day, 1975

    http://www.guitarplayer.com/artists/1013/the-runaways-formed-on-this-day-1975/63490

    On August 5, 1975 — 42 years ago today — the Runaways were formed by guitarist Joan Jett and drummer Sandy West. Of course, the strange and often-controversial Los Angeles svengali Kim Fowley (1939-2015) was in the mix, introducing the two players and guiding the early formation, concept, development, and signing of the band to Mercury Records in 1976.

    Initially, bassist Micki Steele (who later joined the Bangles) joined the duo as a power trio until Lita Ford was brought in as lead guitarist. Steele was fired — ultimately replaced by Jackie Fox — and Cherie Currie became the group’s lead vocalist. The Jett-Ford-West-Currie-Fox quintet was the lineup for the band’s debut album, The Runaways, although Fox did not join the studio sessions, and the bass parts on the recording were tracked by Nigel Harrison (who was Blondie’s bassist, 1977-1982).

    • Lance Thrustwell

      {blinks}. Well all righty then.

      • jesterpunk

        Its just something that happened today I thought was interesting. Yeah its completely off topic but this is the open thread.

    • OrG in England

      Bought the album when it first came out.

    • Wild Cat

      Fave female band name: The Slits (punk era).

      • eggs ackly-wright

        I have the vinyl around here somewhere.

        • Wild Cat

          The cover was wild on the LP. I wish I’d bought it. Had a chance to catch them at CBGBs in the early-mid 80s.

    • Serai 1

      Had such a crush on Sandy West back in the day.

      • Sedagive ’em Hell

        Mr. Sedagive will. not. quit. Joan Jett.

        Not now, not ever.

    • Zyxomma

      And on this date in 1884, the cornerstone of the Statue of Liberty was laid at Bedloe’s Island (now Liberty Island).

  • Jenny

    Ugh watching Icarus on Netflix. Even if just a quarter of this is real, seriously Russia?!

  • Nounverb911

    Look who else Miller resembles, (in more ways than one).
    https://twitter.com/brosenyc/status/893904690240475136

    • Wild Cat

      He essentially makes Bobby Fischer look like a piker.

    • Jamoche

      If anything, Miller’s eyes look even more dead.

      • Wild Cat

        He’s into dead bodies. Believe me.

      • SisterArtemis

        Just what I was thinking

    • Major_Major_Major

      Portrait of a man whose own hand tells him they have a headache.

  • I have nothing dessert-y in the house. This is making me sad. I shall make hot chocolate and have cinnamon toast crunch. Because i am a successful adult

    • Left Coast Tom

      You have no port?

      • No. Not a fan usually

        • Major_Major_Major

          Any starboard, then?

          • wait! what?

            Take a bow.

          • Aft the hot chocolate

          • Major_Major_Major

            Don’t get stern with me.

          • wait! what?

            I’ve been decked!

          • Major_Major_Major

            Gotta keep an even keel around these parts.

          • Left Coast Tom
          • Major_Major_Major

            Damn, that brings back memories of riding in the back of mom’s Datsun.

          • 3FingerPete
          • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

            I say to hull with that!

          • Major_Major_Major

            Fo’castle, we’ll do it live.

          • Willert

            mizzenmasturbation?

          • Major_Major_Major

            I yield the con to you, sir. Fair seas and following winds.

          • Willert
          • Major_Major_Major

            That is a great song. Never really listened to Clutch. I’ll respond with this. https://youtu.be/Nplz679dsEI

          • Willert

            always a good tune, though I’d not heard this version

            as for Clutch, one of my favorite bands, when Neil is at his weirdest they’re at their best.
            and I can’t believe whoever put that video up wouldn’t keep Big News I & II together
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4Ae8dkpuvg

          • Major_Major_Major

            liking it. Did you ever listen to Mule , PW Long, or the John Spencer Blues Explosion? Similar gritty, bluesy, funky yet heavy sound (some more to one extreme or the other).

          • Willert

            have heard of John Spencer’s Blues Explosion, but I’m unsure as to whether I ever heard anything, shall have to make a note of these as wikipedia makes it sound interesting as well

          • Major_Major_Major

            The album “Orange” is really good. Mule is much more obscure, but worth listening to as well. Both are on Pandota and Spotify. YouTube tends towards live recordings which are subject to the quality of the recorder(usually not good).

          • Mehmeisterjr

            Good one! BTW, it looks like Eric Bolling may be headed to Davy Jones’s Cocker.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            Extra point for Billo reference. He always was a loose cannon.

          • Major_Major_Major

            And was well known for his short fuse.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            And for being a small bore.

          • 3FingerPete

            Focs’l say you have a bad attitude.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            It’s all scuttlebutt.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            You’re all three sheets to the wind!

          • Major_Major_Major

            I like the cut of your jib.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            Belay, belay, lads! The Great White Whale, Steve Bannon, just surfaced. Thar he blows (himself!)

          • Major_Major_Major

            A whale so fugly whlers would pay NOT to harpoon him. You’d never clean the stink off.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            Call me Pishmael.

      • Incoming Ham

        Headache in a bottle.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Well, you know the old saying:

        Pute spies at morning,
        Trumpies take warning.
        Pute spies at night,
        Trumpies’ delight.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i have cherry garcia, but it would melt before it got there.

    • wait! what?

      …or, you could put the cinnamon toast crunch in a baggie and grind it down. Then you make toast, butter it, and sprinkle the crunch powder on top…

      • SisterArtemis

        Ooooooo!

    • La forza del resistino

      Promise us you won’t dunk the toast.

  • Michael R

    from 2012 :

    Fox News host Eric Bolling is no stranger to controversy, each incident worse than the last. In his latest tirade he called House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) and House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Va.) “demons” and compared Rep. Maxine Waters (D-Calif.) to Whitney Houston by calling her a crack head .

  • Maclare, Local Milk Person 🍼

    OK folks help a sister out… how do you get gifs to play in disqus? I can make them play in other media, but am having no luck,

    • Major_Major_Major

      Not sure of the exact voodoo, but it seems to require multiple clicks and it helps if mars is transcendent in the evening sky.

      • Suttree

        Also helps if you’re running something newer then XP. Or so I’ve heard.

        • Major_Major_Major

          Windows 95 and CompuServe libelz!!!!

          • La forza del resistino

            Win95 4ever and I’ll keep a place in the soup kitchen line open for Bill Gates.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      sometimes I have to either wait or reload the page.

    • jesterpunk

      It depends where its from, most of the time you just paste the link. Like this

      https://68.media.tumblr.com/b1fe76eef993c6e206034035c6c7ebe5/tumblr_njw8lqe7M51u5hpcto1_250.gif

      • Maclare, Local Milk Person 🍼

        yeah, that’s what I’ve been doing. Let me try this….

        https://media.giphy.com/media/FQp2z0g1q3uO4/giphy.gif

        • Maclare, Local Milk Person 🍼

          well fuck

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I always have to save it and then upload it.

          • CripesAmighty

            What Angela said: I can’t get em to work by linking. So, save and upload (may depend on device: iPad, here.)

          • TJ Barke

            You save it, then you use the little picture dohickey to load them from your files.

        • jesterpunk

          Giphy is hit or miss, some work like this one

          https://media.giphy.com/media/yXQwQ1lJ1Fcc0/giphy.gif

          Others don’t. (thats not for you its just a giphy link I had saved)

      • La forza del resistino

        And to think that guy was my therapist for 4 months.

    • Michael R

      If you’re trying to load one they changed it so they have to be under 5 MB in size .

    • Suttree
      • Maclare, Local Milk Person 🍼

        ahh, will try that

        • Suttree

          Chugging whiskey always helps me with my computer problems.

    • Rick Hill

      I usually find the gif on another site, open the image in a news tab, copy, paste the address and it just works all by itself. Other than that, just uploading a gif usually works. Maybe it works when others view it but not you

      • data_ninja

        Yep, some image URLs play nicer than others, which appears to be server/site dependent. It also helps to get the URL of the actual image, rather than the page it is on (such as IMGUR). This may require a couple extra steps of detective work.

  • Goposaur

    Penny pooch is offering free belly rubs (her belly) for those in need of comfort. Like Clarence Thomas, she works for vienna sausages.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c86edc650111c257f38e18886f9ef1ba4b3bdc1a94263175296e60435c0dd193.jpg

    • Major_Major_Major

      In much the same fashion, our Princess Buttercup was a tummy rub tart.

      • Goposaur

        tummy rub tart – am stealing for home use only.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    damn you APB – now I’m hooked on Ozark (it’s only episode 1, but i’m onboard).

    • I watched the first, i liked it, but i am having a Sorkin fix and watching Studio 60

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        bateman’s really really really really good.

        • And they’re starting production of Arrested 6 this week or next…..also, if you haven’t seen Bad Words, you should do that

  • Picabo

    Born on this date in 1930, Neil Armstrong. “Armstrong’s second and last spaceflight was as commander of Apollo 11, the first manned Moon landing mission in July 1969. Armstrong and Lunar Module pilot Buzz Aldrin descended to the lunar surface and spent two and a half hours outside the spacecraft, while Michael Collins remained in lunar orbit in the Command/Service Module.” https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bcf02959fca064013ed7ea3e327ffcdf700847c37e1136c67fb289fa6dbb69c9.jpg

    • Suttree

      “Buzz Aldrin was already a national hero when he punched some idiot in the face. This idiot claimed that he never went to the moon. Buzz predated the current punching stupid people in the face movement by nearly a decade and a half.”
      -Bill Moyers

      • jesterpunk

        I like that the judge was basically like “Buzz went to the moon if anyone wanted to punch moon landing deniers he should be first, case dismissed”

  • Reximus
  • I have a borderline unhealthy crush on Bradley Whitford. And have had this since i was 16.

  • Poly_Ester

    Pop quiz! Who said of the Mueller probe “We Don’t Want Prosecutors on a Fishing Expedition.”

    • Ooooo. AOT, K who defended the Starr probe?

      • Poly_Ester

        Other than Newt?

        • Major_Major_Major

          You had to mention the pumpkin-headed shart enthusiast right before I go to bed. Now ill be having nightmares, might as well have given me canned clams.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Certainly not the Captain Ahab of the 90’s.

    • Picabo

      Ken Starr.

  • OrdinaryJoe
    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      And he’s a Jew. What a terrible disgrace he is. A shonda fur die goyim. Shame, shame.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      any of that will not be questioned stuff fucking pisses me off.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Bigly

        • Count Awesome

          “Bigly” is close enough to “Iggy” for me to leave this here; us it’s from “The Idiot”

          https://youtu.be/Nv9fGh38X_s

    • Count Awesome

      “The First Amendment goes against everything our founding fathers intended!”
      –Miller
      We are delving into fake and alternative histories.

    • Alex Grey
    • bbayliss

      No one on earth, ever, has needed to get laid worse than this pencil necked little dick.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        But who would take that bullet for the team?

  • Michael R
    • Alan

      What shocks me is that nobody thought of this before letting a known criminal run for office.

      • Michael R

        Whoever is in charge of things like tax fraud and charity fraud are doing a TERRIBLE job , so we owe Trump for helping to point this out ……..
        and who the stupidest people in America
        are and where they live . So thanks for that .

        • Major_Major_Major

          Just shows that ‘merka is over regulated….or the opposite, who can say.

        • Alan

          Good point. He does have a use.

      • Mike Steele

        David Cay Johnston did. Read: The Making of Donald Trump – or check out the front page of any NYC tabloid from 1970 to present…Don’t folks in WVa go to the grocery store?????

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          Politico also ran some takedowns, but not on the main page, in the separate “Magazine” section. Anyone who wore a MAGA hat would not have the patience to read that much.
          http://i50.tinypic.com/9t24ib.gif

    • Count Awesome

      Trump should have held a seance with the ghost of Al Capone.

    • aktlib101

      Hehe, awsome !

    • Alex Grey

      It’s better to dry clean money…

  • Picabo

    They are STILL posting comments on the Kamala Harris post! Get a life folks. This is NOT Daily Kos.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Misogyny is a powerful drug.

      • Count Awesome

        Powerful enough to not get laid ever again.

        • Major_Major_Major

          Incel lib….nope, spot on

    • Rick Hill

      Meh. Still doesn’t rival one of Tbogg’s old posts about Nader. You’d check in, see a hundred comments or so, go to work, look at lunch and ther’d be over 2k. By night time it’s be over 10k. Own self believes that there are issues that both sides need to address and have overlap but neither want to bend. Heard J. Brown breach it, saying that Dems Need to talk about corporations.

      • Mike Steele

        Gotta choose your venue. Lady MS here. Mentioned – was it already nearly 10 months ago? – that I went Sanders/primary, Clinton/general. Stated my reasoning (anti-dynasty, among others) and was promptly excoriated and labeled a ‘jackass’ by more than one poster. Age has taught me not to be a purity pony; nonetheless, one would hope that reason such as yours might prevail before we make the same mistakes again.

    • TJ Barke

      We gotta Code Vegan Baby Butthole situation!

    • La forza del resistino

      Proposing commenter’s rule any thread that goes 24 hours w/o a dick joke is closed.

    • Suttree

      I refuse to go into posts like that after an hour or so. Do these fuckers have each other on speed dial. Fine we get it, you are right and the world is wrong and that is why you are happy or sad now.

      I’ll be making dick jokes and having fun with people I like on the other thread.

      • Me not sure

        …as God intended.

      • Major_Major_Major

        Sometimes I almost feeling like lobbing a grenade like “Bernie and Stein colluded to get Trump a win to further their leftist agendas”. But A) I voted for Bernie, and B) the sheer volume of poutraged comments would not be that much fun.

        • Suttree

          I voted for Bernie also too. I’m just sick of the fucking noise. Neither Bernie nor Jill won shit you fucking idiots! You fucking assholes either sittin it out or voting Turnip fucked it for what we all want. Fuck varying degrees. You assholes chose Trump by default.

          • Major_Major_Major

            Yup yup motherfucking yup. I have an aunt that is like that. Here’s a huge fucking shocker, Bernie had some flaws also, just like Hillary.For fucks sake, MOM or Chafee had the advantage of not being an ACTIVE, RACIST, REACTIONARY fuckstick. Sorry, realpolitik isn’t my fave, cuz the only candidate that aligns perfectly with me is me, but….GAAAAAAH,

          • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

            It became apparent to me years ago that “agreeing” as a primary criterion is sort of infantile.

      • Red Bird

        Russia is paying them per post. They should be banned.

        • Suttree

          They are not worth arguing with. I have neither the patience nor the time. Fuck ’em!

    • Count Awesome

      That thread has to be approaching ten and a half miles of dick as we non-comment.

      • wavicles

        Post is a metaphor is all I’m sayin’.

        • Count Awesome

          And it containing ten an a half miles full of dick isn’t metaphorical?

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          Just like the Vegan Butthole Thread.

    • jesterpunk

      I am a little guilty of that but its kind of fun telling purity ponies to go fuck themselves.

    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      Yeah – I’m getting notifications.

      I feel like messing with these losers, but my hands are cold as FAAAACK.

    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      It was very interesting to see it evolve. It got up to references to “billionaires” one suspects are of the Hebrew persuasion. Also “liberal” as a pejorative. Real Horseshoe Left coming out.

      • persistently_resistant_gayby

        The horseshoe theory plays itself.

    • CripesAmighty
    • Serai 1

      On the bright side, I get to break out the dance .gifs!

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      I wonder if that post will beat the number of comments in vegan baby buttholes?

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I doubt it. Of course, I could be wrong.

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    We should start a fun rumor.

    “Reading Deadbart will make your penis shrink. Scientific fact.”

    • TJ Barke

      Reichbart will cause hepatic encephalopathy.

    • La forza del resistino

      That assumes you can start with a baseline measurement.

    • Major_Major_Major

      The Venn diagram of incels and dead breitbart’s home for fevered imaginings looks like concentric circles. Correlation or causation, who can tell?

      • Red Richmond

        Are they celibate because they’re heinous assholes, or are they heinous assholes because they’re celibate? I suspect it’s more the former than the latter, but either way at least some of them might be helped of they could learn the secret of the ourobannonos technique.

        • Major_Major_Major

          Yes?

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          Not celibate by choice because they are assholes, and celibacy makes them act even more assholes. It’s a constant pussy repellant.

          • Red Richmond

            Yeah, that about hits the nail on the head.

            The weird thing is, I kinda sympathize for these incel-type fucksticks. Don’t get me wrong, the shit they say and post and claim to believe is heinous and cretinous in the extreme, and as they are on these boards they all deserve a lifetime of mantis shrimp punching their junk over and over. But, I kinda get how someone could get this fucked up in the head; if I was 10 to 15 years younger, I might have ended up with these assholes myself.

            After I graduated from college I didn’t have a plan for what to do with my degree, an ended up in a shit job that I hated (selling appliances at Best Buy). I ended up feeling trapped into that shit job- not enough money to afford quitting and spending time job hunting, no hope of advancing, no prospects for anything better. All that resentment spilled over into my personality and made me generally disgruntled, angry, and unstable both professionally and personally. Obviously that didn’t exactly do anything to endear me to the ladies, rather like our modern shitstain incel crowd, and that lack of companionship (well, fucking anyways) didn’t help either.

            So rather than deal with things in a healthy manner by bettering myself or my lot in life I took to being an asshole on the internet, drinking and multiplayer FPS games and IRC chat rooms. Nowadays I might have found myself on one of these forums instead, caught in a nasty echo chamber of other self-made losers at the game of life. Luckily that didn’t happen; instead I finally burned out and got out of Best Buy, tried selling cars and failed spectacularly at that, and along the way grew the hell up and stopped being such a bitterly self absorbed victim. It probably isn’t a coincidence that about a week after I got over being miserable for being myself and ditched my internet troll persona that I met the woman I’ve loved and been married to these past 10 years. It’s a shame it took me 7 years of being an intermittently awful son of a bitch to figure out the right way forward, but considering how it’s worked out in the end I can’t really complain. Who knows, maybe some of these stupid bastards will figure it out someday too.

  • Joe Beese

    Just watched Threads for the fourth or fifth time.

    Note to self: Don’t watch Threads again.

    • TJ Barke

      Better or worse than The Day After?

      • Joe Beese

        Like Trump vs Bush.

        That much worse.

        • TJ Barke

          Worse in what terms though?

          • Joe Beese

            Graphic burns and radiation symptoms, suffering animals, utter hopelessness. (And no distancing with recognizable actors.)

    • Michael R

      Especially after ” Gummo “

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        Chair wrastlin’.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      My God, man! Cue up “My Little Pony – The Movie”! Stat!

  • Maclare, Local Milk Person 🍼

    Thanks guys, for the help with the Gif Problem. On my lil Android tablet, they needed to both be way smaller and saved and uploaded. Yay!

    If this works now, there will be a cute waving chick:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fee98daffb8ba3365192fe94392a6ce72d4f59dfd9bd8d91ca520aac1af7baf8.gif

  • Serai 1

    Here is a fun thing. Apparently there’s tons of blowback from all levels of the Executive Branch to Twitler’s shenanigans.

    • gallbladder

      When can we expect it to blow him out of office?

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      The Deep State will not tolerate buffoons.

      Dog bless the Deep State!

    • Suttree

      How long will it be until the entire government comes to a screeching halt? You can fire a person here and there. You can defund whole segments of a department. When the entire gov is being run by Jared and Bannon, how is that going to work? Fuck it! Let it happen.

    • TJ Barke

      And the repukes whining about it is grand.

  • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy
    • yyyaz

      No thanks.

      • persistently_resistant_gayby

        Sssshhh – he’s mine anyway

    • gallbladder

      How dare you co-opt my good name for such purposes!

      • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

        I had that avatar at first, somehow hanging around Wonkette led to my discovering the awesomeness that is Dylan O’Brien. I wonder how that could have possibly happened.

        • gallbladder

          I’ll forgive you this time. But NEXT time, it’ll be ruthless sodomy by Ivanka with a Jared head-tipped dildo…no lube.

          • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

            ewwwwwwww

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Needz Moar Shillz.

    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      I’d like to Netflix and Shill with you, if you know what I mean..

      • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

        Hihi! I haven’t said hihi since I came back. I hope my OP is a satisfactory greeting.

        • persistently_resistant_gayby

          Hihi – where have you been!!

          • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

            Just took a break which wound up being kind of long. The nets can scare me off sometimes.

      • TJ Barke

        Goddamn it! If Wonkette leads to another happy couple that I’m not part of… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f7a40a52d3eaf0461eb157ba241b79a298b92f584e8da39f950a889f4843c7b9.gif

        • persistently_resistant_gayby

          Would you like to join in shilling…?

          • TJ Barke

            No, but thank you.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Now Captain Howdy, being a NeoLiberal Bankster a promotion from Comms Director, or a demotion? Enquiring minds want to know.

      • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

        I’m now one of the billionaire elite who owns both parties! Yaay!

  • Alex Grey
  • Michael R
    • gallbladder

      “I’m very White privileged to be here.” Fucking perfect.

  • Alex Grey
  • Nounverb911

    Oh look, the totally married Munchkin family, he pushes the luggage while she shows off her $15K Goyard hard case and her $30K Hermes Birkin Bag…..

    https://twitter.com/KateBennett_DC/status/893864036965765121

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      For reals?

      • Nounverb911
        • aktlib101

          Meh ! My backpack was only 19.99. And has a rain cover too. Going strong after – dunno – 5 years?

        • Courser_Resistance

          This kind of shit makes me feel like a defective female. I have less than zero interest in that crap. In fact, it seems a bit obscene. I get paying for quality. That’s why I spent $170 on an Osprey daypack. But that’s what I call ‘stupid money’.

          • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

            That’s more Silicon Valley chic. A lady’s more likely to spend money on a fancy mountain bike than a purse. It’s just being practical.

    • gallbladder

      Man of the peepole!

    • Bill D. Burger
      • gallbladder

        America the grate.

    • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

      Which trunk is Kamala stashed in?

    • Mike Steele

      Okay, RWNJs. This defines ‘cuck’.

      • Alex Grey

        I had an idea about so called “cucks,” but it is too much work to post it.

    • CripesAmighty

      There ya go, Billy Ray, they’re lookin out fer ‘the folks’, alright.

    • yyyaz

      “Your tax breaks for oligarchs at work.”

  • SisterArtemis
  • Picabo
    • TJ Barke

      I’m that cat.

      • gallbladder

        I think we all are here: lost, yet worthy of a home.

        • TJ Barke

          No, really, I’m just like that cat, and I’m miserable and I hate myself.

          • persistently_resistant_gayby

            Oh TJ… :/

          • gallbladder

            But you’re here enough to contribute and that’s what counts. We’re listening.

          • SisterArtemis

            Well, we like you well enough, and we’re a fairly intelligent and nit-picky bunch. Just sayin’

  • Courser_Resistance

    He’s just a pukessence. Hideous inside and out.

    LOL, Gov Hick is adversiting Velorama on the TV. Riding a old fat tire bike cus Colorado Classic bike race as part of it. Death Cab for Cutie, Wilco and local bands (and we have great local bands!). I’m not going but it sounds like fun.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I whole heartedly endorse whatever it is you’re talking about.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I absolutely agree.

      • AJ Milne

        _Actually_ it’s this other thing that isn’t quite that thing, and the apparently insignificant nuance between the other thing and this is such that I feel compelled to post this. Also I feel immeasurably smugly superior in doing so.

      • NeoliberalBanksterCaptainHowdy

        I see this must be some kind of purity-tested echo chamber that doesn’t tolerate dissent.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          You obviously are not one of the collective.

        • yyyaz

          Yawn.

      • Suttree

        Someone didn’t refill the ice trays! It’s okay though, I’ll take care of it.

    • gallbladder

      So do I. Now, what were we on about again?

      • Mr. Blobfish

        I believe we were getting another drink.

        • gallbladder

          (cracks open another)

        • Alex Grey

          Yes please, I could use another beer.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    It’s Saturday night! G’wan n get it!
    https://youtu.be/braQeLkJUvE

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I think I understand why primitive people interpreted bizarre weather as meaning the gods were angry with them, or the world was about to end. Here it is the first week of August in Missouri, which we refer to as “Dog Days”, when it should be about 101 degrees and so sultry that dogs look for shady places to sleep all day and the cicadas drive you mad at night, and if you buy cotton candy at the County Fair it will melt and congeal before you can eat it all (personal experience there), but last night it was 52 degrees and I had to put a BLANKET on the bed and the cicadas all said “I’m outta here” and flew off to Oklahoma. I ask you, a blanket in August???!!?? There will be a total eclipse here in 16 days, and I’m not far from the New Madrid fault line. Do I need to sacrifice a chicken or something? I have a moronic asshole neighbor who has a rooster that crows all day long, I have been looking for an excuse to resolve that issue. Can I tell the judge “The Flying Spaghetti Monster made me do it to save mankind”?

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Apparently your excessive heat came to visit Portland. I would love to use a blanket. But leave the chicken alone.

      • gallbladder

        And cotton candy. Christ, are no things sacred anymore?

      • Alex Grey

        So Fucking hot here, in P-town…

        • WomanInThePersistence

          No kidding.

          • Alex Grey

            I want to lay under my sheet at night, but it is still too hot…

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I read that the prisons in Texas don’t have air conditioning, and the inmates get their sheets sopping wet at night, lay them on the concrete floor, and sleep on them. I do not recommend this, just mentioning it for atmosphere.

            I grew up in Missouri with no air conditioning, and we slept with box fans in every window and we took a shower and drenched ourselves in Johnson & Johnson Baby Powder before going to bed. It helped. . .a little.

          • Alex Grey

            Sounds like Arizona…

        • SisterArtemis

          We got off sorta lucky in Eugene – I think it hit 91, but much nicer than the 100+ stuff we were having. How was the temp there, and are you getting smoked out?

    • yyyaz

      Leaves started turning here two days ago. Snuff the rooster and have a bbq.

      • gallbladder

        I’ll bring the slaw.

    • Count Awesome

      LA is hot and warm but not outrageously hot. Thank God for the Pacific.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        We did get a 90 degree day here, which is unseasonably cool for the 909. Another month or so of this and hopefully we’ll turn the corner. I hate summer.

    • Poly_Ester

      Having lived in Misery for several years, I can tell you that when the first Canadian cool front comes through in August, Miseryans always think that its the end of the world. Self-awareness people.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Having lived here for most of my 61 years, I do not remember a Canadian cool front ever coming through in August. October yes, occasionally September, but never August. But you are right, when it does come people act like it never happened before, and the first time it snows they act like they never drove in snow before.

        • Poly_Ester

          I said cool front, not cold front, you know low humidity and in the 60s at night, seemed to happen before Labor Day every year.

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            We had that for 3 glorious days last week in Georgia – no humidity. And the mosquitos were nonexistent. It was nice to be able to sit on the porch.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I don’t remember that. I remember that school started the last week of August every year, and the playground equipment was too hot to play on, and our arms would stick to the paper as we took notes, and college students lining up to pay their tuition in the nearby university would pass out from the heat, because the schools weren’t air conditioned in my day. The County Fair was always the first week of August, and the heat and humidity, combined with the smell of sweaty people, melting cotton candy and steaming piles of manure in the farm animal buildings, is something that will live in my memory forever. There is no name for this smell. . .I just call it “Eau de County Fair In August.”

      • I had to wear a jacket today it was so cool

    • AJ Milne

      Slightly lateral from this, but:

      I saw Comet Hyukatake (C/1996 B2) under dark skies, out the inky black woods of the Canadian shield, where I was working at the time (have a gorgeous 15 minute exposure I shot on B&W something or other of it, too (think it was P3200? It was a long time ago) and as the head was near Polaris and it was just an SLR on a stationary tripod, it’s this amazing bullseye effect with the star trails around it, but I digress)…

      … and for serious, you look up and see a comet like that, the tail stretching I swear across a good 90 degrees, you can totally figure, yeah, that would have spooked the _hell_ out of anyone at all nervous about portents back in the middle ages. Came home at midnight or so, car headlights off, look up, and it’s holy shit, what _is_ that thing.. Don’t recall there was much warning; I’d heard there’d be a naked eye comet; don’t think anyone knew it was gonna look like _that_.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I was driving from central Missouri to St. Louis about 4 am in August 4 years ago, and I saw the Perseid meteor shower over the distant St. Louis skyline just as dawn was breaking. I had no idea what it was as I am not normally awake and looking east as the dawn breaks. I stopped the car on the side of the interstate (and so did many other people) and just stared and stared. It really looked like 50 alien space ships were flying through the sky and aiming for the Arch in St. Louis, which was just visible from my location. And of course – dammit! – I didn’t have a camera with me. This added new meaning to the phrase “awe inspiring.”

        • Zyxomma

          In 1972, I observed the Perseids lying on my back on top of a plateau outside Taos, NM. One of the meteorites hit the atmosphere and the sky lit up Technicolor Day-Glo, and it appeared to be tracked by weather satellites. It was one of those clear nights when the Milky Way looks like a sidewalk of stars. Amazing. No camera.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Wow. It is not something that can be properly described using only words. You had to be there. The coolest part was all the people who stopped on the highway shoulder, and we all just looked at each other with astonishment, sharing the moment, not saying a word.

          • Zyxomma

            A few years ago, I got a guy I was dating (didn’t last long, and now he’s dead) to drive me upstate so we could watch the Perseids. We weren’t far from West Point, and it was pretty cool, but the NM experience is indelibly etched in my mind’s eye. I was awestruck.

          • Suttree

            Back about 10 years ago, I was able to see a great aurora borealis where I was in Vermont. Luckily I was staying with my father and he got the phone call from a friend at 3 a.m.. We went outside in -15f cold brisk night to watch. It lasted about an hour. Seeing those are unforgettable!

          • SayItWithWookies

            The most amazing phenomenon I ever saw was the Leonid meteor storm of 2001. There was some talk that it might be a good meteor shower, and I got up at three in the morning to check it out, but not too inclined to go anywhere if it turned out to be a dud. I stepped outside and put my hands around my eyes to block out the light from the streetlamps, and within seconds three meteors shot past. I thought I was hallucinating, so I looked and they were just descending like rain.

            I hopped into my shoes and grabbed my car keys and headed out to this parkland way outside of town, and when I pulled in the parking lot was full — this was about a quarter to four. I quickly turned out my lights and slowly found a place to park, and people were spread out all over the adjacent field, lying on their backs and just staring up. It rained dazzlingly bright white meteors blazing huge sparkling wakes behind them. I sat on my car hood until the blackness of the night sky melted into indigo and sapphire, and the constant stream of meteors never let up. If I ever see anything nearly that amazing ever again, it will be just icing on the cake.

          • Suttree

            Awesome! I remember when I first moved to Vermont as a young teen. I grew up in the city! Chicago/NYC/and suburbs. I had no idea what the sky looked like! The first time I saw the milky way was amazing.

      • Zyxomma

        I just looked it up on Google Images. Yes. I saw Halley’s Comet because I’d known all my life it was coming, and an ex offered to take me somewhere in the south to see it (he’d gone to the beach in Oz to see it on the wrong night). We saw it outside Birmingham, AL. It looked like a cotton puff.

        • AJ Milne

          Yeah, I remember that one, too. Pretty meh.

          (Think, seriously, that was one of the reasons no one was talking up Hyukatake. There’d been a lot of noise in general media about how Halley should be amazing just a decade or so earlier… and then… not so much. So everyone was in once bitten mode. And even if they _were_ saying on the radio, hey, this one might be pretty impressive, you’d think, right, heard that before. I do remember stories saying it would be visible, but nothing front page or nothing.)

          • Zyxomma

            I went to a friend’s house because he had a telescope, but during the ride to see him, clouds overcame the sky. I think it was Hyukatake; it might have been another.