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Hey! You know what I did not think I was gonna spend my Saturday morning writing about? Eric Bolling’s penis. This is largely because I have never given any thought, whatsoever, to Eric Bolling’s penis.

BUT HERE WE ARE.

According to a report from the Huffington Post, the Fox News host texted “an unsolicited photo of male genitalia” to at least two of his colleagues at Fox News. It doesn’t specify that it was his genitalia, but do people normally send random pictures of other people’s genitalia? At the very least, you’d think he’d be pretending it was his, right?

Via HuffPo:

At least a dozen sources linked to Fox News and Fox Business spoke with Huffington Post on condition of anonymity and the recipients of the alleged photos confirmed the contents of the text messages, which they said they found upsetting and offensive.

One of the women told Huffington Post she responded to the text message, telling Bolling to never send her photos again and she received no response.

A Fox spokesperson told TPM: “We were just informed of this late Friday afternoon via the Huffington Post inquiry and plan to investigate the matter.”

Bolling’s attorney told Huffington Post that he “recalls no such inappropriate communications” and that Bolling doesn’t believe he sent them.

WELL. The wording on that rebuttal isn’t exactly a hard no, now is it? Like, if someone were to tell me that I sent pictures of genitalia to my colleagues here at Wonkette, I would probably not say “I don’t recall that” or “I don’t believe that I did” — I would say “I absolutely did not do that, that is absurd.” He’s clearly hedging his words here in case they have screenshots or can describe some kind of mole on his penis or something.

This is all very unsurprising given the slew of sexual harassment lawsuits agains Fox and it’s male employees over the past year — against Bill O’Reilly, Roger Ailes and more! It is honestly starting to look as though Fox checks to make sure that potential employees are really into trying to get women who are not into them to look at their penises.

Eric Bolling, of course, is the exact kind of dude who would send you a picture of his junk. Because do you know who sends women unsolicited dick picks? The kind of man that knows so little about women that he thinks sending a woman an unsolicited picture of his penis is likely to get him laid.

The kind of guy who calls a female fighter pilot “boobs on the ground.”

Yeah.

While I will not discount the possibility of there maybe being women out there who, upon receipt of an unsolicited picture of a penis, would go “OH MAN, that is super hot. I should totally bone that guy, even though he is gross Eric Bolling,” that is less than one percent of us, at least. Even if you feel very sure that the woman you wish to send pictures of your, or Eric Bolling’s, penis to falls into that category, you should at least ask first. Just to be sure! Because you should always be sure that the people who see your penis are the people who want to see your penis. Otherwise, who are you to think you are any better than a subway flasher?

This is especially true if you work with the people to whom you have sent your dick pics — you could find yourself in some trouble. Also it’s rude. And weird.

[Huffington Post]

If you are feeling bad that I had to spend EVEN ONE MINUTE soiling my pure mind with thoughts of Eric Bolling’s penis, feel free to drop some pity money into our tip jar! Click below!

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  • ManchuCandidate

    “I wish I could send chicks my dickpic
    That is what I truly wish to send
    Cause if I could send chicks my dickpic
    Every chick would be in love
    Oh every chick would be in love
    Every chick would be in love with me”

    -the song in Bolling’s head.

    • BrianW

      I dunno; needs more wieners if it’s going to be a good song.

  • AJ Milne

    ‘He’s clearly hedging his words here in case they have screenshots or can describe some kind of mole…’

    The other perfectly rational explanation, I guess, is he sends so _many_ unsolicited dick pics, and to so many women, that he genuinely can’t recall…

    (Should be an app for that, I guess.)

  • Marion in Savannah
    • ManchuCandidate

      I have had it with these motherfucking Pedos on this motherfucking plane!

  • Look, the only people who see my penis are people who ask to see my penis and the folks at the NSA who are tasked with monitoring my webcam.

    • wait! what?

      We’re not ALL tasked…

    • mancityRed6

      don’t forget about the 400 lb guy in New Jersey who hacked your cam.

      • therblig

        taking pics is the only way he sees his own.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Does that mean that anyone who asks gets a peek? (Is this time time to say “pix or it didn’t happen?”)

      • I’m generally pretty open with the whole thing, hell, if you know where to look it’s already on the intertubes!

    • Manhattan123

      I’m pretty sure the KGB is having a chuckle too.

  • SadDemInTex

    It is like Ailes made a special effort to choose male hosts that were gross misongynists. How stupid is this guy to do it after all that has happened…or were these pictures from a few years ago?

    • mancityRed6

      I’m sure they were already leaning in that direction, but the atmosphere that Ailes let happen exacerbated things.

  • memzilla Ω

    Anagrams of “Eric Bolling” include Goblin Relic, Boil Clinger, and Big Iron Cell.

  • SadDemInTex
  • mancityRed6

    “I don’t recall that”
    “I don’t believe that I did”
    sounds like the excuses made after getting blotto

    • Marion in Savannah

      Or he’s simply trying to be Jeff Sessions.

    • SadDemInTex

      Or you are on the stand “I plead the 5th”

  • JMP

    Is there any man working for Fox “News” who is not a sexual predator of some sort?

    • Marion in Savannah

      No.

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    I mean, I like peen, but any guy who thinks we want to see their old, wrinkled, tiny knob need some head therapy.

    • mancityRed6

      I don’t really like to look at mine.

      • GreenGoldSharpie

        Me either. :-(

    • therblig

      just to be clear on head therapy – you mean psychiatric treatment? just asking before i turn safe search off.

  • TundraGrifter

    Bolling lies about his “professional baseball career.” Typical of such a boob.

    How busy is the Fox HR Department? Makes a professional mattress tester look busy.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Donald Trump, meet the Founding Fathers

    President Trump may think his problem is with members of Congress and the way they run things. In one sense, the decisions and behaviors of individuals in Washington – not least, himself – account for his threadbare legislative accomplishments, despite Republican control of both ends of Pennsylvania Avenue.

    But in the broadest sense, the resistance he’s encountering is due to America’s system of governance. The story of his early presidency might easily be called “Donald Trump meets the Founding Fathers,” as a beginner politician runs up against the checks and balances that are designed to prevent tyranny and forge consensus.

    • Yr. Gma

      That’s what happens when you elect someone who never took a civics class in high school. Or watched Schoolhouse Rock.

  • Wild Cat

    OMFG! This better be true!!! THis asswipe propagandist never said “Draining the Swamp” was him draining his dick!!! Every thing that moves at that network is a deviate!!!

  • memzilla Ω
  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Anybody wanna see my Bolling Peen Massacre joke again.

  • Master Contrail Program
  • mancityRed6

    OT: just got off work a half hour ago. it’s 59 degrees and wonderfully cloudy here. it feels like October.
    oh, and under a flash flood watch for the next 19 hours.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Siri, send this quick picture of my mole to a top oncologist.”

    “Sending this dic pic to all your hottest colleagues…”

    “I can’t believe that happened!”

  • AnniNoone

    Why do men do this? I quite enjoy sex with men, so that makes me generally a penis-fan, but I don’t love them for the way they look. Also, they pretty much all look alike. I have not known of a single case where a woman thought well of a man who sends unrequested dick pics — how is it possible so many men think it’s a good idea? I’m really perplexed.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “I just want someone who likes the same things I do.”

    • mancityRed6

      it’s all the porn they watch, and the belief that they’re reproductive organ is superior to any one else.

      • Wild Cat

        Might be the opposite, mancity—porn tends to make males feel inferior to the freaks that have 13″ erections. And to a lot of women, 13″ is not appealing or comfortable.

        • mancityRed6

          well, yeah. I’d hate to be that size. I’d have never gotten laid.

          • Wild Cat

            If you saw guys like John Holmes, they could barely sustain their erections or ejaculate. They’re freaks.

          • mancityRed6

            hell, I’m just trying to figure out how I’d wear shorts

    • Wild Cat

      It’s even more perplexing because most males think their dicks are too small (too much porn). It shows you not only a social ignorance, not only a form of sexual stalking, but how fucking confident these fascists are in their “manhood.”
      These are truly perverted shits. A heterosexual Knight of the Long Knives flick directed by Visconti or Pasolini could easily have been done on these Confederate/GOP/Evangelicals/Libertarian loons!!!
      I can’t stop laughing because his #1 book is on his and the fucker in the WH’s morality!!!!!

      • willi0000000

        how could any guy think his dick is too small?

        • therblig

          i blame mr. ed

          • Wild Cat

            Mr Ed had a beard—Elsie the Cow.

    • A Groucho Marxist

      As a man who does not do this, I can only speculate that it is more about shock value and tricking someone into looking at something they did not want to see, and maybe some backwards “power of the phallus” bullshit thinking thrown in. I can’t imagine Bolling or anyone else thought his pic would make sex happen.

    • It’s just the “hi-tech” version of grabbing a female co-workers ass.

    • It’s also a combination of sexism wealthy entitlement and privilege. See ladies, you are supposed to be so enthused and impressed that you received Male Attention…especially from such a “celebrity” (gag!) that you are obligated to take leave of your senses and melt into a puddle of desperation and adulation. It doesn’t matter what the vulgar attempt at degradation actually is. The point is that his penile .jpg “validated” you as a person.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • Manhattan123

    These clowns never learn. Do they think they are irresistible to their female coworkers?

    • mancityRed6

      yes

  • Latverian Diplomat

    In the old days, you had to use the office copier for this sort of thing…

    • Shanzgood

      Still not as bad as a mammogram.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Oh, ICK! There was a guy who did that in an office where I worked about 10,000 years ago.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Is this really news? Bolling has been showing his dick on the air for years:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ce41a84e096efa8b2865c71b8ca652d1267de982026de276e2fb3e51f6a04124.png

  • beatbort

    Half the women who work at Fox News (in unison): “He didn’t send a picture of his penis. He sent a picture of someone else’s much, much, much larger penis. We’ve seen his penis. He’s flashed us in the hallway. After Mr. Ailes and Mr. O’Reilly did the same thing, we just thought it was SOP around here.

  • Master Contrail Program

    Another Unsolicited Dick Pic. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1b78ff40acce0407d17dc4e9d842d35d496084b2e86714669de707f993e2b9f4.jpg

    Don’t forget those prostate exams, gents.

    • mancityRed6

      new mandatory middle school class:
      “the internet is forever”

    • BMW

      That’s a downright Trump-like Twitter refutation.

    • So Bolling was sending pics of Anthony Weiner’s junk to women?

  • Jennaratrix

    It would totally be okay if guys decided not to ever send pictures of their junk to people who have not specifically asked for said pictures ever again. Ever.

    I’m trying to imagine any woman I know taking a picture of her “junk” (is it okay to call it that since it’s not all hangy and stuff?) and sending it to someone who hasn’t asked for it. I know I’ve never done it, and in an informal poll I’m conducting, the full results of which I’ll post later, none of my friends have, either.

    Wonketeers – have you done this? Sent unsolicited hoo-ha pics? Is it just a guy thing? I’m truly curious now.

    • mancityRed6

      I’m not saying I’d say no, just so long as it doesn’t accompany the question “does this look infected to you?”
      also, I’m really, really glad digital photography wasn’t a thing when I was growing up. not saying I would have, but

      • Jennaratrix

        Okay, just to knock myself down off my high horse – an old boyfriend took some pictures of me while I wasn’t necessarily fully dressed. When I took the roll in to be developed, I wasn’t really thinking things all the way through, and took it to a one-hour place, not realizing the guy I’d just handed the roll to was probably the same one who would be developing them. And it took me until I looked at the pictures to figure out why he was leering at me when I picked them up.

        • mancityRed6

          the first ex and I took a few when we were on vacation once
          and all the pants free video chats, but no records exist that I know of.
          not really a high horse, since he didn’t really have to look at them, so not even in the same area.

        • janecita

          That also happened to me. Some of the pictures were really raunchy.

          • Jennaratrix

            Mine were PG-13ish, as I recall. And blurry because we were both drunk. Could have been a lot worse.

      • janecita

        Is this a wart or a mole? What do you think?

    • crunchyknee

      I sent Donnie J a pic of my ass with the words “Kiss My” printed on it. Does that count?

      • Jennaratrix

        Nah. That’s a political statement.

      • armed_bears

        Totally covered by the 1st amendment.

    • janecita

      I sent some to my husband when he visiting China with his mom, but he thought that it was a nice surprise and asked for more (greedy bastard).

    • mancityRed6

      and my second ex did send me a pic once,
      we were separated for at least 8 months before I figured out that I had used it as the picture that would show up if she called.

    • I did one time to a foot-lonf hot dog factory. But PURELY for reasearch and informational purposes! 😆

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Do to a color correction issue with the dick pic, the photo ended up being a Bolling Green mass “Ack!”-er.

    • FlownΩver

      Wow – went so far for that one you must have needed a passport.

  • Me not sure

    I posted pictures of my webbed feet last night and felt a little uneasy about that. How people send pictures of their little soldier is beyond me.

    • FlownΩver

      Are you still getting Waterworld residuals?

      • Me not sure

        I pissed it all away.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    Women don’t send unsolicited pics of their vagina. They don’t draw vaginas on every surface they find. WTF is wrong with men ?

    • Wild Cat

      reddit serves that purpose. Women seem to get a sense of power uploading naked shots of themselves starting at age 18. They’re going to regret it. Cultural norms are dull to me, I’m a total libertine, but I don’t understand how people can compromise themselves like this for nada.

    • Jonny On Maui

      How much time do you have?

      • Lyly Sirivong

        I’d tell you that I have all night, but I’d probably get bored long before that.

        • Jonny On Maui

          It’s not really an all night thing, more of a career of study. I can’t even remember what volume “What’s Wrong with Men” is at now…

    • Latverian Diplomat

      I think that, like other types of sexual harassment, it’s a twofer. There’s the tiniest chance it might work, but if it doesn’t, you made her feel bad, creeped out, whatever..

      Just a guess.

    • Me not sure

      I still blame Anthony Weiner’s idiocy for that whole Clinton / Huma / Comey Cocktober surprise.

      • Wild Cat

        Yup. He’s the World’s Biggest Asshole, and in hindsight, she should have ditched his ex-wife from the campaign because he was a risk. If she were a male, she could survive it, but as a woman she was held to a higher standard as a candidate by our corrupt media.

        • Me not sure

          If she had just dumped the asshole after the first incident this wouldn’t have happened, but I kind of admire her for trying to make it work. Some people just won’t change.

    • FlownΩver
  • jaspersdad

    Not a huge Bill Maher fan but this segment comparing Trump quotes if Obama had said them is one of his best.

    https://youtu.be/swcJzacZkWU

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Hey. I like my dick. It’s a healthy dick. A good example of a well functioning homo sapien dick. It’s been field tested and proven well suited to the jobs it was intended for. But my daddy taught me when I was a child that when it is not being used for its intended purposes, it stays in my shorts. For chriiist sake what kind of a sick fuck takes pictures of their own dick? And then sends them to anybody, let alone co-workers. Sick sick sick. My daddy would have slapped that guy on the side of the head and said “what’s wrong with you boy?”

    • Jennaratrix

      Your daddy should be in charge of some things.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      It’s the damn internet/phone thing. Imagine in your Daddy’s day taking the picture, bring the film down to the drugstore to be developed, and saying “I’m going to send this in the mail to a girl I don’t know, but that I’d like to date”.

      • Wild Cat

        Polaroids were popular in the 1960s and 1970s for homemade porn.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    ♪ Bolling 8==””,=D Bolling 8==””,=D Bolling 8==””,=D ♪

    ♪ Rawhide!!! ♪

  • GreenGoldSharpie
  • armed_bears

    Any picture of Eric Bolling is, by definition, a dick pic.

  • Yr. Gma

    I may not speak for all women but seen one, seen ’em all. (Sorry, guys.)

    • Jennaratrix

      Pretty much.

    • therblig
      • mancityRed6

        would not want, also NSFW tag
        I have gotten in enough trouble with just one.

        • Swampgas_Man

          But just imagine, two prostates, crowded together. He must have to pee every ten minutes.

          • Shanzgood

            That was not my first thought about having two prostates crowded together.

      • Shanzgood

        That’s funny. My daughter was asking the other day whether such a thing was possible. I don’t know why, since she’s not into dicks at all.

      • Yr. Gma

        The left dick looks just like the right dick, so my statement stands.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      You’re not wrong.

    • Shanzgood

      The ones I’ve seen were all as different from each other as their owners. I could look at a picture (solicited, of course) and know exactly who it belonged to.

      • Yr. Gma

        I guess I need to get out more. lol

      • Jennaratrix

        I mean, good for you I guess, that’s a great talent? I’m not being a bitch, because I couldn’t do that. If you lined up pictures of every dick I’ve ever seen up close and personal like, I might be able to pick out my husband’s, but beyond that and that guy who I took one look at, shook my head, and said “We’re going to have to work our way up to that,” I wouldn’t be able to correctly match them with their owner. I’m not going to lose any sleep over it, though.

        • grindstone

          You get my upvote just because I like this story.

          • Jennaratrix

            The rest of the story about that guy sucks, but at least I can laugh about it all now.

        • Shanzgood

          I just meant I don’t think it’s fair to say that all penises always look the same. All vulvas don’t, either, otherwise women wouldn’t keep having surgery to change them.

          • Jennaratrix

            Oh, sure. I get it. But I’d argue that they look enough alike that “seen one, seen ’em all” isn’t that far off. Like bananas. Sure, they’re different shapes, sizes, sometimes even colors, but they’re all banana-ish. If you’ve seen a banana, you’ll know that’s what it is if you see another one.

            And truly, if you could line up every dick you’ve ever seen and attach it to its proper owner, that’s some eye for detail. I wasn’t kidding when I said it was a talent. :-)

          • Shanzgood

            I’m not so sure it’s an eye for detail so much as (maybe coincidentally?) they actually WERE very different. But so were their owners and I remember all of them and their names as well. I’m still friendly with all but four and the one who died.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Are you saying dicks have no personalities?

      … I’ll show myself out …

    • SeeTrain65

      “You’ve seen one dick, you’ve seen ’em all. Well, in my case, a third of one.”

  • WomanInThePersistence

    What on earth makes anybody think that people would want to see pictures of their dicks?

  • How can it be that nobody here including myself ever thought about Eric bollings old fella?

    Well, cmon, somebody must know why this thought never occurred until right now!

  • MamaBrown

    “I don’t recall doing that” is, I believe, conservative dirt bag-ese for “I was drunk”

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    That’s just creepy, Eric. Never send anyone random images of body parts unless you want to sell that you’re a serial killer.

  • BMW
  • Jo Mathie

    I do not get why men send pictures of their dicks to women. I mean what is the response supposed to be? Unless you are in a relationship where it’s cheeky fun, most women are just going to sit there going. Umm.. Couldn’t you have sent me a picture of a kitten or a link to an interesting article instead of your dangly male parts? It’s really not a turn on. (and yes it has happened to me and a couple of my friends. We compared the dicks and laughed before deleting the images).

    • Incoming Ham

      This ^^^

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      No clue why. I don’t even like looking at my own dick, not going to force that image on another person. I don’t think anyone wants a random pic of anyone genitalia, male, female, other.

      • It’s the rule of thumb at nude beach. 90% not need/want to see

    • WomanInThePersistence

      What you said.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND! IT’S MINE!!! ALL MINE! IT’S THE MOST AMAZING THING EVER! IT’S BIG-LEAGUE! YOOOG! THE BEST! LIKE MY TOWERS!

      HAHA! PENIS!

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        I think you’ve accurately described the thought process. If you have the ego of a toddler, that picture would be the best thing ever!

        • Bobathonic

          Really they should just send their dick pics to themselves.

    • HorseChestnut

      There are guys who get off on making women uncomfortable, disgusted, or afraid. I think that’s the desired response.

      • Swampgas_Man

        It’s the technological update of the catcall and wolf-whistle. Or to go back further, pissing on a rock to mark his territory. “Wimmenz keep out. This is MY rock! I have big dangly bits! Me REAL man!”

    • La forza del resistino

      Some guys just found out the miracle of optical magnification and want to share this knowledge.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I think in the case of guys at Fox, the point is “I am so much more important and powerful than you are that I can do all the things I dreamed of as an unpopular and resentful 12 year old and you can’t do shit about it.”

      I think that was probably the lodestone of Roger Ailes’ character, and probably how the guys at Fox get promoted.

  • Master Contrail Program

    Some people love goblin spotted dick and don’t mind photographic evidence.

    It’s a rich tapestry out there, folks. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/97052fd3483a331dcd6228242922256ad19a60e3229f0b9c8e1a51aa57f45857.jpg

  • Latverian Diplomat

    It’s not like we needed another example, but it’s clear Ailes was running a frat party instead of a news organization…

  • willi0000000

    so . . . the consensus seems to be that i should stop?

  • Ricky Gay

    Bolling for Dollars (one hopes!)

  • Fill in the blank….

    34% of Americans in a recent survey _____________.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d5ca82bbaa8fd05765a33c934747ee994498b7e5cc651357d4d888c2f69f0582.png

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6c0f2fe904364477a1ec5a87f35cc99a47f3fe9cf3b3038d2212e4f8fb9d3fe3.png

    A) Are too Uneducated/illiterate to know what the word “honest” means

    B) Are desperately in need of mental health treatment

    C) ???

    • willi0000000

      C) profit! (of course)

    • Jennifer R

      Stiggin it!

      • Cutting off their fingers for spite , because stubs are stubbier to stick in Liberals eyes.

        Geniuses 🤣

    • redarmyzombie

      C) proof for the need to have predators. Like wolves, or lions.

      • Zyxomma

        Wasn’t it Shark Week recently? Of course, they’re not often where the sharks are, but perhaps that can change.

    • CripesAmighty

      Are insensate brewer’s yeast.

    • handyhippie65

      are dumb as a box of rocks?

    • Persistent Demme

      D) LA, LA, LA!! I can’t hear you!! (I am in denial, and will never admit I was wrong!!)

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    An intelligent, successful young man is plagued by doubt and spiritual angst. He cannot find peace, or figure out his place in the world. He cannot have a meaningful, committed relationship. Alcohol doesn’t help, nor do drugs, therapy or meditation. Then he hears that there is a guru in a remote community in the farthest reaches of the Himalayas who has the answers to life’s deepest, most enduring mysteries. The young man decides he must meet and speak to this wise elder. He quits his job, sells all his possessions and sets out on a trek to see the guru. After weeks of arduous travel and almost superhuman effort, he reaches the guru’s remote village. Half dead from exhaustion, his clothing in tatters, hungry, cold, thirsty, he staggers into the wise man’s hut and tells him of his quest. And he asks his question: “Please, please tell me what it’s all about! What is the secret of life?” The guru looks at the young man, smiles and says: “My son, there’s a lot of bastards out there.”

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Life is not a bowl of cherries?

      • handyhippie65

        it is. we just somehow always end up in the pits.

        • SeeTrain65

          “Erma Bombeck’s estate would like a word.”

          • Carpe Vagenda

            I miss her. And also Jean Kerr and Peg Bracken made me laugh.

          • SeeTrain65

            I barely remember Peg Bracken, but one of the most vivid memories of her came from Robert Klein’s “Child Of The 50s” album.

            “You could definitely light a match with her voice.”

          • Carpe Vagenda

            She had an entire section of all the varieties of cream soups in a can you could pour over things and call it dinner.

            She was not kidding.

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8ec67a9385cc26c69891e4665457db02c2c5e5ea92489714cbcc8340aefb5783.jpg

          • Shanzgood

            I want that book but baconz would punish me if he saw it on my shelf.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            It’s a wonderful book. You really should.

          • SeeTrain65

            Also known for her ad for Birds Eye vegetables.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJuLb4HTnsc

          • Carpe Vagenda

            That’s hilarious. The more so because I’m pretty sure she had a protip for getting your kids to eat carrots by putting butter and sugar on them.

  • La forza del resistino

    Anthony Weiner sez, wasn’t me. I’m retired.

  • OrG in England

    Who?

  • David
    • The rethugs are still not clear on the power of the intertoobz.

      • CripesAmighty

        Doesn’t matter to the toofless gobblers: “b-b-but dayuts differnt!”
        (utterly absent any plausible theory as to how…)

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Just because. I want you all to know that I care about you. And am honored to call you my friends.

    • Persistent Demme

      Backatcha!

    • SisterArtemis

      Miss you. Did you have a good vacation? Is your store air conditioned? and how is Wonderdog?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      The same to you, and too all in our nutty little corner of the Interwebz.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Right back atcha!

    • handyhippie65

      as are we, you.

    • Zyxomma

      Likewise.

  • Shanzgood

    Baconz sent me a picture of what he said was his buttcrack. It was a closeup of his bent elbow.

    Yeah, we’re 12.

    • handyhippie65

      it was a good year.

    • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

      That is so hawt.

      • Shanzgood

        Giggling like idiots together is sexy!

  • BoatOfVelociraptors
  • DerrickWildcat

    Uh oh, Fox and Friends and Hannity are going to have a busy day polishing this turd.

    • CripesAmighty

      Is that what they’re polishing?

  • Reximus

    Maybe he misunderstood when they said they were fans of Little Richard?

    I’ll let myself out.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Please tip the veal, and try your waitress.

  • The Librarian

    There once was a man named Bolling
    Who sent women dick pics via trolling
    He asked pretty please
    If they’d get down on their knees
    Instead, they sent his head rolling.

    • Robyn Pennacchia

      A+

      • The Librarian

        I’m honored. :D

  • Jonny On Maui

    Why do idiots send dic pics? They’re proud of where what little brains they have are stored.

  • SeeTrain65

    Posting my first dick pic here!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/06750f6518b915cbd531cde7081d126232bd7595474f01b260ab102eb653ea14.jpg

    (Oh, like you didn’t see this coming.)

  • Nounverb911
    • Oh this should be fun.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Yeah, if you want to keep the job you didn’t quite win in Washington, you have to put the Senate silverbacks and the ‘journos’ who think they’re the permanent political class in their places as publicly as possible. In case they think that their heavy lifting to push you over the line makes them important or something. Or they’re bored with destroying Presidents because they can.

    • TJ Barke

      The first comms director that the press pool will tell to go fuck himself?

    • Wild Cat

      I wondered why his face disturbed me. I finally figured it out. His dead eyes indicate necrophilia. Certainly his attractions as a Jew to nazism is perverted enough.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      There really are no words any more.

    • SayItWithWookies

      “I’ll take any job you have — just don’t send me back to the wax museum.”

      • AJ Milne

        I regret that I have but one upfist to give.

        • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

          I gave one in your name.

    • “It’s Miller Time” says a man who doesn’t drink, supposedly

    • Persistent Demme

      Is it wrong that my first reaction was: “Yes please!”
      He can only hasten the downfall.
      He is thin-skinned and his “dog whistles” aren’t dog whistles at all.
      A perfect reflection of his master!

    • SeeTrain65

      I will now never stop calling him “Pee Wee Hermann Göring.”

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        “Pee Pee Hermann Göring”

        • Bec Jenn

          that’s even better

    • 3FingerPete

      That would be excellent news. Mike Cernovic would also be an excellent choice. Let’s keep the insanity rolling.

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Shanzgood

      Why are they giving him such shit?

      • Reximus

        It was bullshit, and ‘Tripp’ is a white supremacist

        • HorseChestnut

          I feel like any time you run into someone named Tripp, even money they’re a white supremacist.

          • SisterArtemis

            Hey! My-cousin libulz!
            (he’s a dork, but he’s not a white supremacist)

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I think because while he’s portraying himself as a SNAG, he’s also reinforcing that nobody else would want her and kinda reducing her to a preferred type too?

      • Jennaratrix

        IMHO, because it’s kind of gross and condescending. He’s asking for adulation for loving his wife even though she’s not perfect. He points out every one of her “flaws” and then asks us to be so proud of him for overlooking or even liking those things about his wife; I mean, isn’t that the point? I would never, EVER write a post outlining every single one of my husband’s so-called flaws, and then gushing about how I’m so awesome and woke that I love him anyway. It’s just… I don’t know. Self-serving. He’s really praising himself for being the “better” person and overlooking her “flaws,” not her for being a regular person, beautiful because of who she is and not because of whatever standards society has set.

        As I said, my opinion. I didn’t drag him anywhere, but I can see why people are.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Because he’s saying that she’s kind of like a Pontiac Aztec that he appreciates besides the fact that most bros would consider her uggos. And he’s a great guy because he appreciates the larger girls.
        Just say “I love my wife, she’s beautiful, here are some pictures of us together”

        • Shanzgood

          Oh, ugh. I didn’t read his whole thing. I thought the part was nice about the unrealistic expectations we have for which bodies are deemed attractive. I didn’t realize he was expecting kudos for liking his wife’s.

        • Exactly.

          I dated smart girls once or twice with an ugly face, but reasonably hot body.

          It would be socially unacceptable for me to say “Here’s a picture of my girlfriend. Looks are unimportant to me” 😉

      • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

        I dunno, I give him props for trying to counter the usual fat=horrifying that this culture engages in. mebbe it’s self-serving, but mebbe he’s making a good point.

    • Jennaratrix

      She has cute little dimples on her booty that she fills with hard candies and bouillon cubes to keep for later in case she gets hungry at the DMV.

      Oh my god I’m dying.

    • HorseChestnut

      I’m torn. I hate the idea that the only good bodies are ones that men approve of; but he’s right that there’s bullshit stigma attached to being with a fat woman, and I think men as a group need to put that shit out of its misery. ETA: I’m no longer torn. If he wanted to make this point, he shouldn’t have used his wife to do it. Especially not a picture of her in a bathing suit. She’s not your mascot.

    • Sekhmet1

      Oh, THIS GUY!!! Ugh. It came across as patronising, self-congratulatory and fetishistic to me. It creeped me out to see the number of people applauding him, when surely loving your wife is the basic thing you’d expect. What are we supposed to be congratulating him for here – not shooting her? Society is really in trouble if that’s a cause for celebration.

      If he wanted to make a body positive statement, a simple “our narrow beauty standards for women are bullshit, all bodies deserve love and respect” would have covered it without the smug, “Look at me, aren’t I woke? I could totally get a supermodel but I’ve settled for this (not at all) fat-arse because I’m such a great guy. Who’s a great guy? I’m a great guy!” gloss.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    I have been sent some dick pics that certainly got me ready to fuck. But then, I was soliciting them from horny dudes who wanted a fuckbuddy. So it’s kinda different.

    • Zyxomma

      Keyword being soliciting. Bolling’s were unsolicited and unwelcome.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        I am pretty sure that I was already clear on the difference.

  • handyhippie65

    i agree. EEEEWWWWWW! but, since the UAE woman was a fighter pilot, wouldn’t that be boobs in the sky? or mebbe flying boobies of death. i suppose to a pilot, the ground thing was the most insulting. but then again, it is bolling that is the most insulting thing about this whole story.

    • QHarp, Mujer malévola

      Titzkrieg?

    • SisterArtemis

      “Flying Boobies of Death” is my new banjo death metal band, back up vocals to be performed by these guys:
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/86501fcfccfeec0b3d3b6b477297c943daafa731632e0b1f232b81b8744d88e2.jpg

      • Shanzgood

        I would listen to banjo death metal.

        • SisterArtemis

          strangely, given my new musical venture, death metal is my most-hated music of all. Even worse than whiny, self-pitying country western.

          But I cast no asparagus on anyone who likes the stuff.

          • Catstro

            Sr. Cats is really into death metal. It isn’t my least favorite, but that’s only because Christian Rock exists.

          • Shanzgood

            I’m trying to expand my musical horizons. Baconzgood has some, um…different tastes.

          • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator
        • Carpe Vagenda
          • Shanzgood

            Ha!

      • handyhippie65

        doing a cover of blue suede shoes, no doubt.

        • SisterArtemis

          They rock it! You should hear them pound out “Blue Christmas”

          (guess I’ve decided to be the band manager, not one of the members)

          • handyhippie65

            that’s where the money is.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Death jugs from above?

      • handyhippie65

        that’s a good one. and a mortal fear of short men everywhere.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Ha, understandable. But fear not, treat them well and no harm shall befall ye.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Wasn’t the talking point of the moment “boots on the ground”?

      • handyhippie65

        isn’t it always? i always picture a C-130 dropping old combat boots on a country when i hear it.

        • Raan

          Boot to the head.

  • Michael R
    • SeeTrain65

      “Shut it down, spud.”

    • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

      eek! that took me a few minutes…

    • Master Contrail Program

      Some Pig!

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Unsolicited Arnold Ziffel pixxx (sent by Mr. Haney)

  • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

    I have had some good luck in my life, and I have had some bad luck. I thank the Goddess of Luck that I am not on Eric’s text list.

  • tinker12
    • Master Contrail Program

      One might get quite a prick if they get too close.

    • SisterArtemis

      Now, there’s a dic pic that would definitely net the right woman, because that guy has a sense of humor.

      • Invisible Bunyip

        He’s pretty brave, too.

  • Michael R

    Donald Trump and the political action committees for Mitch McConnell, Marco Rubio, Scott Walker, Lindsey Graham, John Kasich and John McCain accepted $7.35 million in contributions from a Ukrainian-born oligarch who is the business partner of two of Russian president Vladimir Putin’s favorite oligarchs and a Russian government bank.

    Mitch McConnell was the top recipient of Blavatnik’s donations, collecting $2.5 million for his GOP Senate Leadership Fund

    https://www.dallasnews.com/opinion/commentary/2017/08/03/tangled-web-connects-russian-oligarch-money-gop-campaigns

    • OrG in England

      Any rethugs that AREN’T Russian stooges?

      • Master Contrail Program

        The ones who are Chinese stooges. Maybe?

    • Reximus

      and…Roman Abramovitch’s (look him up) private plane landed near Trumps NJ golf club 2hrs after AF1 did yesterday

      • Zyxomma

        as in Aluminum Wars Roman Abramovich?

    • jesterpunk

      I am beginning to thing that Republicans care more about Russia and China then they do about the US citizens who elected them.

      • SisterArtemis

        beginning?

    • miss_grundy

      Probably the reason he put the kibosh on Bamz authorizing an investigation of Russian collusion of our election back in November. Lock him up!

    • Zyxomma

      Thanks. Shared.

  • Jennifer R

    Guys: No one wants to see your dick
    Girls: Keep the dicks coming please

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Most dick pics never get deleted.

    • TJ Barke

      Wait, what? Girls want unsolicited dick pics? Why has no one told me this!?

      • guppy06

        It’s not unsolicited if they ask.

      • Jennifer R

        No, I am telling the girls to keep emailing me photos of their dicks.

        • Raan

          Your ideas are intriguing to me and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

        • TJ Barke

          I’m confused.

          • Jennifer R

            Some women have dicks, and some of those women like having them. Some of THOSE women like emailing them to me. I like this situation.

          • SisterArtemis

            And some women have drawers-full of dicks! Life is interesting!

          • Jennifer R

            It is a truly wonderful menagerie.

          • Clark_Nova

            Binders full of dicks.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Wall pegboard with an outline of each “tool”. I’m ocd, what can I say.

  • The Wanderer

    There are men from whom I would gladly accept a dick pic. Eric Bolling is definitely not one of them.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    So… Cary Grant he’s not, eh?

  • Eric Bolling? Never heard of him. Must be new over there….

    The first weeks always the hardest.
    https://pics.me.me/irecently-joined-a-nudist-colony-the-first-week-was-the-11345953.png

  • Joshua Norton

    Bolling doesn’t believe he sent them

    Folks, this shit is getting serious. Computers and smartphones are now apparently finding bad shit hidden in their memory and randomly sending out incriminating pics without even telling us. We iz all doomed.

    • redarmyzombie

      I knew that Facebook AI was up to no good…

    • OrG in England

      Funny,my phone doesn’t do that.

      • 3FingerPete

        You need to download the app.

    • Erala Contratista

      Man of faith!

    • Khavrinen

      Even if that were true, it still implies that there was (were) a (multiple) dickpic(s) hidden in memory in the first place.

      [ Only pics in my phone’s memory are of my work schedule, so when I wake up thinking, “Crap, was I supposed to be in at 3:00 or 3:30 today”, I can check. ]

  • Jonny On Maui

    I guess it was only a matter of time…

    Wipe your backside with President Trump’s tweets thanks to this toilet paper
    http://metro.co.uk/2017/08/05/wipe-your-backside-with-president-trumps-tweets-thanks-to-this-toilet-paper-6830975/

    • Zyxomma

      There’s a small Trump display in a gift boutique nearby, featuring things like pooper-scooper bags adorned with Dictator Tot’s face, and tiny hands soap. I’m sure this will be on the shelf soon.

  • khanurik

    I’m totally appalled that you would use this forum to shame those of us in the “mole on the penis” community. And I assume you’re referring to the skin condition and not the earthworm-eating, burrowing creature (think Eric Bolling) because that would just be gross (think Eric Bolling). I demand an apology….

  • Reximus
  • 3FingerPete

    I can imagine Bolling sending Anthony Weiner’s weiner pics to the token Fox News liberal women commentators in the spirit of “Ha Ha look at you dumb liberals Benghazi emails Obama golf Alinsky”. He’s maintained more of a dumb Boy Scout image than his other disgraced male colleagues. That’s still not an excuse. And I wouldn’t be surprised if it was in fact the full Bolling junk we’re talking about. Either way fuck that guy.

    • Robert James Nugent

      Not a boy scout, overgrown frat boy.

      • guppy06

        The kind of Boy Scout that Trump spoke to.

        • 3FingerPete

          Exactly. The type that chant “lock her up!” because his buddies are.

        • miss_grundy

          About sexy yachting parties….

        • ken_kukec

          They all earned an Eric-Bolling merit badge that day.

      • 3FingerPete

        That’s Greg Gutfeld.

  • SayItWithWookies

    “An unsolicited photo of male genitalia” — now, that seems redundant to me. I know there are weirder people out there than just the ones I’ve met, but I’ve been around a while and even if I didn’t have any fingers I’d still be able to count on them the number of times someone asked me to send them a photo of my dick. And if anybody does ask, it’ll probably be a urologist.

    • guppy06

      I guess that says something about the social circles you hang out in, then.

  • William

    Ironically he now has something in common with Hillary Clinton.
    Both had their aspirations ruined by a dick.

  • btwbfdimho

    OT: SS Miller too spoiled to pick up his own trash.
    No wonder the White House is a dump…
    Check out @funder’s Tweet: https://twitter.com/funder/status/893678995404988417?s=09

    • TJ Barke

      There’s that classic conservative personal responsibility…

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      What they desperately need in the White House. Someone to take out the trash.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      HOW did he not get beaten to death in high school?

    • Jennifer R

      What he means is he needs his mother to wipe his ass.

    • jesterpunk

      You can tell a lot about a person by how they treat janitors and fast food workers.

      • Zyxomma

        … and bus drivers, and servers, and hotel cleaners, etc. etc.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “….when we have plenty of nigg…I mean, janitors to do it for us”.

      • amrak63

        In honor of the classic film Blazing Saddles, the preferred substitute for the N-word is (*CLANG*).

        (*BONG*) is also acceptable, but it runs the risk of being mistaken for a reference to a particular method of smoking the demon marijahoochie weed.

    • guppy06

      Janitors? I thought that’s what chiefs of staff were for.

      • Reximus

        or illegals

      • Clark_Nova

        I remember Bill Clinton using the Joint Chiefs of Staff for waiters at a White House dinner.

  • guppy06

    A Fox spokesperson told TPM: “We were just informed of this late Friday afternoon via the Huffington Post inquiry.”

    Yeah, haven’t heard that one before.

    I give it one Scaramucci until we’re shown undeniable proof that they’ve known for a long time.

    • William

      So Fox reads the Huffington? Who knew?

    • Raan

      You’re more generous than I am, I was figuring about 7/10ths.

      Probably late next Friday so that they have to call in Dok to put up a new article after the open thread.

  • Robert James Nugent

    “This is especially true if you work with the people to whom you have sent your dick pics — you could find yourself in some trouble”

    Unless you work at Fox News, then there’s a protocol for it.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      “All genitalia photos must appear smaller and more flaccid than Mr. Ailes. Refer to his company photo, on page 42 of the Employee Handbook”

  • If someone is OK with a picture of your penis, it’s probably OK to just show it to them. Ask first, though. It’s just common courtesy.

    • Reximus

      and also, too, have no fear that they will post it on the internet…colleagues just dont do that

      • guppy06

        Keep your face out of the shot (ha!) and make sure there’s no metadata.

        • ken_kukec

          “Metadata” — the new, non-FDA-approved male-enhancement supplement.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    I heard that when Kayleigh McEnany saw these picks she quit at CNN to go to Fox.

  • Bolling didn’t send those women dick pics, he sent them pictures of Brian Kilmeade.

    • SeeTrain65

      “You try telling the difference!”

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        “Brian Kilmeade is more likely to rape you is the only difference I see”

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        Kilmeade’s eyes are closer together.

    • William

      Or the model for Trumps Mount Rushmore carving.

    • commatoes

      Stephen Miller is offended that you didn’t think of him first. Do you realise how hard he is working at it? He’s putting the time and the effort.

  • William

    I have a very good friend who is celebrating his 12 year of marriage this September. He met his wife through an internet dating site. His bride once told me “I initially went out with him because he was one of the few guys who didn’t send me a dick pic”. When I started to turn blue from laughing so hard she called me immature https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bc0b325d4814dd6459123b6214ae4a92c669e224ac705616afe25fa0585b7000.png .

  • ken_kukec

    The second line of defense will be that Bolling’s phone was hacked by Anthony’s wiener.

    • jesterpunk

      That excuse won’t work, Faux said that Hillary kills everyone who crosses her so Weiner must be dead right?

    • OrG in England

      What? You think “I don’t think I did” won’t work?

  • PresidentGoldenShowers (R GOP)

    This places him in the running for WH Comms Director.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Blatant conflict of interest. This ALONE should be enough to see him impeached.

    https://twitter.com/Trump/status/893841118328172544

    • Nounverb911

      Are those bomb shelters in the basement?

      • Reximus

        It’s Dubai, that’s where the money gets laundered

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        No doubt. Fully stocked with Rev. Jim Bakker’s food buckets, I’m sure. Licensing agreement is probably already signed.

    • BillEGoatSmirk

      More fodder for the Emoluments lawsuits….
      And where did these Trump people go to school? Learn to write a complete and proper sentence FFS and have a second person proofread the stupid tweets before they go out.

    • MizzMazz

      That looks like one of my Sim’s houses. for the ones I don’t like very much. Put one bathroom on the top floor >:)

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    Probably the initial bad idea that ultimately led to this was setting up the fingerprint scanner to recognize his peen tip.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Gives him an excuse when he uses Apple Pay in coffee shops.

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        Obviously, he uses the alternative, Enis-Pay.

    • Shanzgood

      Because cell phones aren’t contaminated enough already.

  • William
    • handyhippie65

      he was replaced, and no one even noticed. so, no.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        I noticed.

      • ken_kukec

        The Kravitzes noticed; his mother-in-law Endora, not so much.

      • Suse

        I sure noticed. It was as traumatic as Bub being replaced by Uncle Charley on My Three Sons.

      • Zyxomma

        It was noticed. We all called his replacement Fake Darren.

  • Nounverb911
    • CripesAmighty

      Broadway Ralph’s drum kit’s getting a workout today.

  • guppy06

    If you butt-dial a dickpic does that make you gay?

    • The Wanderer

      Only if it penetrates your operating system.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    Oh no. Tell me he wasn’t Bannonning in the shot.

  • Portia McGonagal

    As I saw said elsewhere: “Every pic of Bolling is a dick pic”.

  • I sent an unsolicited picture of my salami to David Brooks’ non-college educated friend.

  • nightmoth

    At least Anthony Wiener sent dickpix to gals who requested them. This guy: you’re right, just a dick exposing himself like any perv in a raincoat. Fired, followed by jail time, please.

    • Zyxomma

      Agreed. Weiner was a member (ha) of Congress for seven terms. As such, he had a 100% rating from NARAL, etc. IOW, there were many ways in which Weiner was good and useful in our society, including multiple terms In City Council here in NYC. Had he been Republican, he would NOT have resigned. Unfortunately, his being married to Huma Abedin helped sink Hillary’s election. I enjoy South Park as much as the next person (in fact, I’m picking up season 18 at the library this afternoon, having watched 19 last week), but I NEVER wanted Cartman for POTUS.

  • miss_grundy

    Those sexual harassment classes are really working, am I right??????

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      “No, the classes are supposed to be about what you DON’T do, Eric.”

  • ibwilliamsi

    I honestly don’t get the “dick pic” thing, but that’s probably because I’m old. But seriously, he must need an awful long selfie stick to get a shot of that from the dark side of his belly.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      He got his secretary to take it.

      • Raan

        I hope she got hazard pay.

        • FukuiSanYesOta

          “he”

          • Résistance Land Shark Ω

            “He” is in therapy now …

          • Raan

            Whichever. Still deserves hazard pay for being that close to Bolling’s golf pencil.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          She works hard for the money. Holy shit.

      • ibwilliamsi

        Eww!

      • JustDon’tSayDignity

        You know you ain’t right!

  • Richard Girlswin

    Wow. It’s as if hard core misogynist dudebros have been gravitating towards FOX News for decades.

    • mancityRed6

      and not just watching it.

    • BillEGoatSmirk

      I think they run a Sexual Harasser Training Program out of the HR department and all new hires are required to attend.

  • SadDemInTex

    OT (sorry): Gorka is leaving WH (from LA Times).

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Woot-woot!! No “sorry” needed!

      • SadDemInTex

        Sorry I was off topic! That fuckface is a REAL Nazi

    • mancityRed6

      that is good news.

      • SeeTrain65

        … and not just for John McCain.

    • guppy06

      And what did he do?

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      About time. I can’t believe that ambulatory sack of lies marinaded in raccoon smegma was ever in the WH. Well, actually, with Lord Dampnut I can, but still.

    • Wild Cat

      He saw a job as Head Jew Killer was available in Hungary?

    • 3FingerPete

      Are you sure? The only LA Times story I can find is two months old.

  • Ergoetal

    “The wording on that rebuttal isn’t exactly a hard no, now is it?”

    That was my first thought, too. If it were me, I’d be like What the fuck are you talking about?

    • OrG in England

      Heh heh, you said hard.

      • JustDon’tSayDignity

        “hard no” or “hard on”?

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    If I get a picture of your dick, it better be your beloved dog, Richard.

    • Major_Major_Major

      I have sent unsolicited Dick pics to Mrs_Major. Dick Clark got a chuckle, but Dick Nixon was a bridge to far.

      • Suse

        She may like Dick Cheney! jk

  • Nounverb911

    Also speaking of dicks…. she seems nice.
    https://twitter.com/guardiannews/status/893853340295090182

  • CripesAmighty

    In its settlement offer in the Bolling case, Fox News announced its latest hire…
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OQnNH7I07RY

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    There are good boobs and there are bad boobs. Bad boobs are idiots like Eric Bolling, Tucker Carlson, Sean Hannity, Donald Trump, and anybody who watches or votes for these bad boobs.

    What are good boobs, you ask? If you have to ask, please return to the kiddie table.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Blue footed?

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Of course, I speak as someone who tends too far in the opposite direction, but I must ask: what kind of raging narcissism must one suffer from to think that the solution to ANYTHING is to send someone a picture of his junk? I can’t wrap my mind around the thought process involved here.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Well, if your problem is that an unhealthy amount of your self-esteem is tied up with you not being able to get pageant winners to look at your penis voluntarily it probably makes a difference.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Sending a dick pic to Kim Jong Un is not the worst solution to defusing tensions in Eastasia .

    • Claire

      I suspect it’s about the power trip involved in making women look at your penis whether they want to or not. Same as flashers.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Prophylactic statement that Rick Wilson will probably never redeem himself completely for Max Cleland, but…

    …Speaking of wars, the White House War on Leaks hit its 191st day of abject failure Thursday, with a torrent of leaks across departments. Increasingly, the tone is “Help us save the president from himself!”

    Another blow fell late Wednesday afternoon, as the alliance of the new Chief of Staff John Kelly and National Security Adviser H.R. McMaster nailed its first hides to the barn. The previously untouchable Ezra Cohen-Watnick, who served as disgraced Gen. Mike Flynn’s stay-behind agent at the National Security Council, and who was the handler for the disastrous effort to use Fredo Nunes as a patsy for the failed “unmasking” distraction, was fired with barely a reach-around. News also broke that Rich Higgins, another NSC official who saw radical Islam in everything from Iraq to the decision to bring back the McRib, was let go. The freakout by alt-right bloggers like Mike Cernovich was incandescent.

    With the rise of Kelly, we’re also subject to another round of rumors that future liver-transplant waiting-list member and hobo shitlord Steve Bannon may flee the White House, his dreams of an alt-reich populist movement dashed on the rocks of Trump’s failures. Bannon’s star has risen and fallen in the past months, but without the ability to play in the national-security space, and blocked by the Goldman boys from launching a populist trade war, the former Brietbart publisher may want to spend more time with his Mercers…

    • Claire

      I like the part where he refers to Bannon as a “hobo shitlord.”

    • Red Bird

      Seeing Bannon thrown out along with Donnie would be the best Christmas gift.

      • rumsey

        Happy Holidays.

  • Nounverb911
  • IdiotsforPalin

    Any picture of Bolling is a dick pic.

    • Wookie Monster

      You win the internets.

  • Fancy Meau-Faux

    Kinda barely on topic, but since there is a female pilot mentioned. I just learned today about the Night Witches and they were pretty badass.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Night_Witches

  • Reximus
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Tip for straight dudes from a straight woman:

    Guys, if you want the lady to interact with your dick IRL, your chances of that will decrease if you send her an unsolicited preview. I’m pretty sure you Wonker regulars already know this, but I’ll post this friendly reminder for the Deleted Commenters who could probably use the clue FFS.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      “Jersey Basement Boy” and his Mom thank you for your service.

    • Wookie Monster

      In Eric’s case, it’s less of a preview and more of a lowering of expectations.

    • kareemachan

      Also, more advice: don’t try to get her drunk. I’ve had guys try that after I’ve told them repeatedly that I can’t drink very much (no, won’t pass out as much as get sick due to a condition). Two minutes later, “Lemme buy you anudder drink, lil’ lady”. Arggh.

      • Bill Diaz

        If you are going to buy a woman a drink, there is no reason she has to be burdened with your company while she drinks or even needs to know it was you, lol.

        I like doing secret ‘good deeds’ when possible. Some of my female friends think that guys paying is a dick power move, but others think that if done well can be nice or even funny.

        Ok, here is one funny story about that. I am an old and have no interest in inappropriately younger women. I was in a nail salon in Montreal with my two best friends. When we came in, there was someone who was putting their shoes on at the top of the stairs and when I got there, she stood up and faced me.

        It was like seeing a ghost from the past. There was someone I nearly got married to and if she and I had a child, this young lady was what she might look like. I dont know if anyone else would call it beauty, but to me it was breathtaking.

        My French isnt good, but it didnt take long to understand the problem, the place took cash and she needed to go to the ATM. I knew the place only took plastic (Canadian dollars) and was ready. This place is really great and not expensive, so I had enough to cover her bill, no sweat. But since my French was miserable, it was hard to explain what I wanted to do (ie pay the bill) and was locked in discussion for almost 5 minutes trying to get it done. Finally, she understood what I wanted and started giggling helping me. My $20 was already out and the YL came back with her money. The woman told her that the bill was taken care of and ratted me out. She reminded me why I love Quebec and argued that she was a grown woman and didnt need my damned money (but really nice and polite).

        I explained (poorly) that in my mind the money was spent, took out my lighter and started to set the bill on fire (and would have). She responded in horror and allowed me to pay rather than see money set on . fire, lol. It was Christmas, I was feeling festive and she gave me the joy of another life that might have been.

        I need to get my toes done again, lol.

        Have a great day!

  • mary5920

    I’m too lazy to look it up, but was Bolling one of the d*cks who was railing against Anthony Weiner, for doing this? I’m sure that harassing women he works for is like, totally not as bad, though…

    • kareemachan

      Totally railed against him.

      “He is a sick human being,” Eric Bolling said on “The Fox News
      Specialists.” “To continue to do this time and time again, continue to
      get caught, saying he’s not going to do it again, gets caught again.”

  • Notreelyhelping

    Obligatory small dick joke: did he use a macro lens?

    I think this is a case of “Yeah, most Mexican hairless dogs are pretty hideous, but mine’s so adorable!” https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4a41d65aad0e3c1a80c18a5672e8d797c22044a4d533522712948ebeab26c46f.jpg

  • guppy06

    Bolling Green Masacre.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Bolling Ween, some clever twatter tweeted.

      • John Thorstensen

        This was turned into “Bolling Peen Massacre” on one of the other threads. That won!

  • In his case I believe the standard definition of “junk” would apply.

    • Jesse

      So he texted them pics of his on-air appearances? That would be revolting.

  • Zyxomma

    I was once waiting for the 1 train uptown at Times Square (the A train tracks were being repaired, so I knew better than to try to take it to Ft. George). Across the platform from me, some jerk started jerking off. I had him arrested, and even went to court. The cop thanked me for coming, and told me the jerkoff had a rap sheet longer than his arm. Perp didn’t show up for court. I’m sure it wasn’t his last arrest.

    No unsolicited dick pics, please.

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      I’m confused. The cop thanked YOU for coming?

      • Bill Diaz

        Well, at least she wasnt convicted (or killed), so its kind of like thanks.

        Have a great day!

  • SadDemInTex
    • Wookie Monster

      Never thought being a Nazi would lead to job security in the federal government.

      • Clark_Nova

        REALLY????

        • Wookie Monster

          Well, not until this past election.

    • So that means he is next to go

  • Wookie Monster

    I actually thought Jesse Watters would have gotten caught sending dick pics before Bolling.

    • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

      Ideally, they would be caught sending them to each other.

    • Peter Famato

      He sent pictures of Chuck Shumer to a colleague. Does that qualify?

      • Wookie Monster

        Oh, hi Troll.

      • That wasn’t chuck. That was Grassley.

        • Peter Famato

          Lame

  • Lance Thrustwell

    I love vaginas, but if any woman sent me a pussy pic, I admit I would think that was a little weird.

    Now a full nude pic, and she’s smiling… I think I would be okay with that*

    *unless she’s a Trump voter.

  • Manhattan123

    Suspended from Fox. Well, at least we know who the new White House communications director is.
    https://www.mediaite.com/online/breaking-eric-bolling-suspended-from-fox-news/

    • kareemachan

      There seems to be a lot of women-blaming in the comments there.

      • Pisto75666

        It’s Mediaite. When they’re NOT women-blaming it’s time to worry.

        • RMKH

          They won. So they have a mandate to do what they want. And what they want is to be stupid racist misogynist pigs who want to send dick pics out into the world.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    Ha ha! Open and shut case, right? Those women can just show the picture and where it came from! It’s not like they all would have immediately DELETED the picture, overcome with disgust with the sight of Eric Bolling’s revolting junk . . . Uh, right ladies? JUST ONE OF YOU?

  • WhoCheckedRussia’sVoterID

    I was thinking we should just dip all of Fox into a gigantic vat of disinfectant…then I thought it would just mutate into a super bug….we don’t need any more of those…

  • alpacapunchbowl

    Just his face is so revolting I can’t even imagine being forced to inadvertently look at his jub-jubs. Barf.

  • Thorn Spike

    What’s with the face? It looks like a stocking mask. Is he about to rob a bank?

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      His eyes look like two cigarette burns in a sofa cushion.

  • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

    EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

    • tehbaddr

      Right! Think of him sitting around that low little table with all the female co-hosts!

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        MORE EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

  • texcynical

    I heard somewhere that Bolling has an Ayn Rand tattoo on his erect dick that is a dead ringer for Ronald Reagan when deflated.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      LOL Like there’d be room.

      • Bill Diaz

        Some tattoo artists specialize in fine needle work, both with and on.

        Have a great day!

  • rumsey

    Here’s a laugh: “The Five” at Fox talking about what they were giving up for Lent. Bolling, a good Catholic, says he already fasts every Tuesday. He sacrifices for his religion. A hope Jesus doesn’t have cable.

    • Kittenpants13

      Maybe he should have given up sending unsolicited dick pics.

      • Bitter Scribe

        And then he could give up sending solicited ones. Oh wait…

  • Apparently not everyone @FoxNews got the memo about the sexxxy harassment stuff… You know… the one about quit doing it.
    Or maybe that particular memo got jammed in the Faux News ditto machine located in the bowels of Roger Ailes.

  • netanil

    Because not sending a picture of YOUR OWN COCK takes enormous self control.

    • wavicles

      We wouldn’t understand, being morally inferior.
      /s

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    His statement was wonderful: He does not “recall sending the messages…”.

    lol Did he send so many dick pics that he cannot remember those specific ones?

    • tehbaddr

      Likely doesn’t remember due to the booze and coke fueled state he was in.

  • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

    What is with these stupid, fucking idiots who Tweet, email, Face Book and text something controversial and then act all surprised when they get caught? Once you hit “send”, it’s out there forever. It’s as if they don’t understand this concept.
    Oh, wait. “stupid, fucking idiots”…guess I answered my own question, huh?

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Also teenagers. They are so surprised when they send naked pictures of themselves to a friend and the next thing you know it’s posted on Facebook and everyone at school has seen it and they could just DIE.
      Also ex-cons on parole. I saw a documentary last week about one living in a halfway house where alcohol is forbidden, and someone snuck in beer and they took pictures of all the guys with beer cans in their hands, and they forgot that their parole officers check their phones once a week. I mean, how dumb can you get. . .Their probation was revoked and they all went back to prison.

      • Bitter Scribe

        Hey, if they were geniuses they wouldn’t be ex-cons on parole.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          You can say that again. It was an educational program, but they followed 3 of these guys after they got to the halfway house, and smart they were not. They just COULD NOT understand that there were rules, and the rules applied to them, which is undoubtedly why they got sent to prison in the first place.

  • tehbaddr

    Robyn, wanna see some picks of my dick? Oh, right, I don’t work with you, never mind.

  • angryspittle

    His portrait is a dick pic.

  • The Franklin

    How does a self portrait get you suspended? See what I did there?

  • JackLinks

    Please let Hannity be next and let it be about him and small farm animals!

    • Keith Taylor

      Come on. Have you no sympathy for small farm animals?

  • Bolling’s Bollocks Blighted

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Overheard at my local pub a second ago: “Bolling does more ball handling than Stephan Curry,”

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Yeah, but his bat is not very impressive.

  • TundraGrifter

    Well, they do say it’s the little things that count.

  • TundraGrifter

    When is it appropriate to send someone a photo of your dick?

    #1. You are stuck for six months on a snow-bound Antarctic station and you develop a horrible condition Doc can’t take care of so you need expert medical advice.

    #2. There is no Number Two.

    • Mystery_Poster

      I remember hearing about an STD app where you text a pic of your genitals to the doctor and for ten bucks he or she would diagnose it. I remember thinking, “never text genital pics.” I wonder if that app is still around. Unfortunately I can’t remember its name.

      • Manhattan123

        Snapchat.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          LOL,and Tinder.

      • TundraGrifter

        Schwing Fee?

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Sir Walter Scott anticipated this story when he so memorably wrote:

    Breathes there the man, with soul so dead,
    Who never to himself hath said,
    “Hey, I think I’ll take a picture of my turgid love muscle,
    And email it to every woman in my place of employment!”

  • HazooToo

    “I absolutely did not do that, that is absurd.” is exactly what you WOULD say, if you didn’t want us to think you sent pictures of your genitals to another Wonkette staff member. It would be irresponsible not to speculate wildly. I’m just asking the question: Did you send them to $5F?

  • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator
  • Mehmeisterjr

    Eric Bolling is, by his own description a devout Catholic. Yet he was so ungenerous that he failed to share his dick pics with all of his female fellow parishioners and all the nuns! Is this what passes for religion in our day and age?

  • AngryNotSoOldHippy .

    Name one single shitting Christian Republican who is not a fucking rapist asshole.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Does it say if it was a selfie, or if another responsible, consenting adult took the picture? Not that it matters, I was just curious. And now that I’ve written this I realize I don’t really care, it was just a fleeting thought.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Maybe Hannity was the photographer. If he was, does he recall it?

  • Arthur Gane

    My dear old Grand mother used to say: Women are beautiful all over, Men only above the waist.
    Isn’t it amazing what dear old Grannies can get away with!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    He believes?

    As if these people hadn’t abused the definition of belief beyond any human endurance already. His mom, his dentist, or his attorney may or may not believe this, that or the other. He fucking knows.

  • A Bashful Nobody

    I is glad he didn’t send dickpics to Mrs. Nobody.

  • Nephilim

    What the hell is wrong with those people at Faux News? The fact they make up news at will was one thing, but they really are a bunch of douche bags there.

  • The Flaming Carrot

    Were there one or more objects in the photo with known dimension to provide perspective? And, if so, did anybody measure it to gauge the credibility of the MGTOW penis math?

  • The Flaming Carrot

    Of course he didn’t claim ownership of said appendage. Clearly, it belonged to Sean Hannity.

  • wavicles

    To be fair it could have been images of vulva and he was asking people wtf are these?

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    I am calling for an all out internet moratorium on ANY nasty pics of Fox News guys. Not sure it wouldn’t be prudent to exclude some of the ladies over there as well. At absolute minimum, let’s all agree that this particular douche canoe’s photos should never be disseminated. Pretty please???

    • jayme

      Be safe, call for an all out internet moratorium on Fox News….

    • Moar Wordz

      How abt. a moratorium on unsolicited dick pics in general ? Otherwise known as ” love songs of the skeevy sex addict/flasher ” ?!
      Lacking eloquence, they merely point to their revealed erect genitals, hoping, hoping their tumescence will reveal lifetimes of passion, valor, wit….yet as a blood filled appendage, it remains tragically mute :(:(:(

      • Sakonyachen

        Cyrano deBulgeiac?

        • Moar Wordz

          Pinocchio, from the opposite face

  • Bitter Scribe

    The next time Bolling or anyone else at Fox News does this, the lucky recipient should contrive to “accidentally” put it on the air.

    After all, we are talking about the “news operation” that illustrated a segment about Sarah Palin (who was one of their own contributors at the time) with a picture of Tina Fey done up as Palin. So we all know accidents happen.

  • Mecha343

    Sending dick pics to female workers is the new trend for Faux News male employees. Who wants to guess which Faux News employee screws up after Bolling(regardless if it a dick pic or no dick pic).

    • Manhattan123

      The stupid one on Fox & Friends. No, not him, the other stupid one.

    • I guess dirty voicemails were so “2000s”

      https://youtu.be/o-s36dK0yQc

      I’m surprised Bolling didn’t research it for “tips”.

  • Bitter Scribe

    He sent dick pix to three women at Fox, at least! WTF, did he think that would triple his odds?

    • Moar Wordz

      Yes, yes he did.

  • It looks like FoxNews has update their sexual harrasment pamphlets from their 1972 precedent so Fox now actually have to do stuff about this (and did you know that according to this contemporary “womens lib” stuff we can’t call them “broads” anymore? What is this world coming to?)

    http://money.cnn.com/2017/08/05/media/fox-news-eric-bolling-suspended/index.html

  • “I just want to know where Bolling found a telephoto lens for his cell phone.” – DJT

  • schmannity

    “He is a sick human being,” Eric Bolling said on “The Fox News Specialists.” “To continue to do this time and time again, continue to get caught, saying he’s not going to do it again, gets caught again.”

    Bolling commenting on Weiner’s weiner

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Projection, thy name is right-wing nutjob.

  • CafeenMan

    OK, first of all, you don’t know that Bolling didn’t text me dick pics. I don’t even know if he texted me dick pics because I’ve never owned a cell and have never received a text from anyone.

    But that doesn’t mean he didn’t text me a dick pic that’s waiting in a queue someplace until I buy a cell (which I never plan to do).

    Bolling is a sick fuck. Anyone who would text dick pics to someone who doesn’t even own a cell is the very definition of sick fuck.

    Second of all, I don’t have a second of all…. just first of all. In my day that was more than good enough. You kids today have it too easy.

  • Dutchman

    In case noone has previously noted this…

    Would it not be true to say that any pic that Bolling sends would be a dick pic?

    • MyLovelyNose

      You win the internets!

  • Mike

    I’ve done some crazy shit in my time, but taking a dick pic and sending it anonymously to random co workers tops anything I’ve done.
    Although…there was that time I was in my girlfriend’s dad’s barn smoking a joint when she wanted to see it, so of course I obliged. I forgot all about the weed and wound up setting the barn on fire with her dad’s favorite Antique Ford Tractor inside…8 years later I married her younger sister…good times…!

    • Sakonyachen

      So the moral is, don’t send dick pics if you’re high?

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Isn’t this kind of behavior mandatory at Fox News? I assume that the male employees that don’t do this aren’t kept on for very long.

    • armed_bears

      When your corporate executives’ practices lower the bar, and then HR acquiesces, damn near anything can wiggle in and become lodged.

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    It’s almost as if most of the men who work at Fox are assholes. Who’d a thunk it?

  • ahughes798

    Why does any man, really, think sending a pic of his dick ok? Really, they’re not that attractive, unless in use.

    • Sakonyachen

      “Bumping uglies” is a popular(but old) phrase for a reason after all.

    • Courser_Resistance

      It confuses me because men are frequently are sensitive about stuff like size, shape, cut/uncut… why would you want to open yourself up to criticism?

      • ahughes798

        I know, right. People seem to forget that the internet is forever.

  • Wes

    Obviously I haven’t seen the pic in question (he did send it to everyone but me), but it’s “allegedly” very tiny.

  • redblack

    so i should stop sending women pictures of eric bolling’s dick? or no?

    • Sakonyachen

      I don’t recall?

  • Petunia Cat

    Re “boobs on the ground”, first there’s the whole boobs thing 🙄: women are nothing but breasts, it’s a killer insult to women to point out we have breasts. Then there’s the stupidity of “on the ground”. That’s exactly where PILOTS are NOT! 😑✈️✈️✈️✈️🛫🛬🛩✈️✈️🛫🛫

    • Courser_Resistance

      Boobs don’t spend much time on the ground either. Like planes, boobs sometimes rest there, but they spend most of their time at elevation.

  • Sakonyachen

    As I always say, if you have to ask if a picture is okay to send, don’t send it. Definitely don’t send it without asking. How is this so hard for these guys? I say guys, because I have yet to see a story about men receiving random unsolicited vagina pics. You’d think the fact that doesn’t happen would be enough of a clue.

  • texcynical

    I’m not sure this is really fair. Maybe Bolling got his Neo-Nazi propaganda pics mixed up with his personal Hermann the One-Eyed German pics. It could happen to anybody.

  • MyLovelyNose

    Oh please please baby Jesus and all the little cherubs, let Hannity be next. Please please please get Hannity.

  • NotConvinced

    Have you ever sent a picture to friends saying “Look at this dish that me and some friends had at dinner last night” and it turns out you actually sent a picture of your dick?
    It could happen to anybody.

  • James Baskin

    With all the shit that’s been in the news lately about dudes at Fox, you’d think the remaining dudes would throttle it back a bit. Evidently Eric hasn’t been getting the memos.

  • Courser_Resistance

    DO NOT WANT!

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