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Now here's a man who LOVES the Hispanics and their taco bowls
White House also does not have authentic Mexican taco bowls like they have in the Trump Tower cafeteria :(

Donald Trump misses new money luxury. :(

In a new piece in Golf Dot Com, which is mostly about how Trump plays golf sometimes, the classless oaf who may be president but still will never be accepted in high New York society, is reported to have said this:

As President, Trump has already made four visits to [his Bedminster club]. He has his own cottage adjacent to the pool; it was recently given a secure perimeter by the Secret Service, leading to the inevitable joke that it’s the only wall Trump has successfully built. Chatting with some members before a recent round of golf, he explained his frequent appearances: “That White House is a real dump.”

Ungrateful trash misses his marble columns and his counter tops made of cheap granite. Worst of all, the master bedroom isn’t even on the first floor, which is A) undesirable according to the best real estate agents in any given suburban hellscape and B) impossible to deal with for a pussy who’s afraid of stairs.

(A White House spokesperson denies this occurred.)

Oh shut up, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, you don’t have the foggiest fucking idea what the Orange Dumbass said on the golf course.

Before we say more shitty things about Trump and his bad taste, his awful manners, and what we surmise are his astronomical outstanding credit card balances — because you know how new money always has to parade itself around in front of you like a dumb peacock — here are some Instagram posts from Pete Souza, Obama’s White House photographer, who is well-known for trolling the hell out of Trump, but in this case seems genuinely offended:

Oh, that second picture! Not only does it show Barack Obama BEING SEXXXY IN TRUMP’S NEW HOUSE, it shows Justin Trudeau, ALSO BEING SEXXXY.

We feel like Souza might be making a subtle point about which types of people are worthy of being in that White House residence and which ones aren’t, but we’re just …

not …

certain.

Ahem.

Chelsea Clinton is not pleased:

The Washington Post reports that it’s unclear what the president is bitching about, since the White House staff gives him unlimited Diet Coke and TWO SCOOPS OF ICE CREAM (one scoop is for losers!), and moreover notes that the Trumps, like the Obamas and everyone before them, got to redecorate the residence at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue just the way they like it. Considering what Trump’s apartment in Trump Tower looks like, we imagine the residence looks like a sea of gold-plated cat smegma right now.

Oh well, there’s only one solution for this, and it’s for Trump to resign the presidency so he can spend more time in his ugly-ass properties. Yes, this means Mike Pence’s wife “Mother” will probably end up filling the residence with circa 1985 floral wallpaper and back issues of Country Living magazine, but that shit will be a lot easier for Kamala Harris or Kirsten Gillibrand to rip out in January of 2021.

Wonkette salaries are fully paid by lovely souls like you! If you love us, click below to pay our salaries!

[Golf.com / Washington Post]

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  • Crank Tango

    Of course it’s a shithouse, have you seen who lives there these days?

  • Latverian Diplomat
    • SweetDeeKat

      Fantastic article.

    • Claire

      Man, dictators have really gone downhill since the days of Hugo Boss designing the Nazi uniforms.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        The Nazis weren’t all Hugo Boss and Leni Riefenstahl, they had their own monuments to gauche opulence too….

      • Three Finger Salute

        Now it’s more like Yugo Boss, made by Ivanka’s slave labor in China.

  • The Wanderer

    Can you get gold-plated cat smegma on EBay? Asking for a completely tasteless friend.

    • Bright Bart

      get off the internets donald. we know its you.

      • The Wanderer

        (runs away, giggling maniacally, pursued by two burly guys in white coats carrying butterfly nets)

        • Mildred Broxon

          When they come for The Donald, it’s going to take more than butterfly nets. Big fish nets at the least. I have spent a certain amount of time considering this.

  • Nounverb911

    I thought Melania already finished her makeover….
    https://youtu.be/OrgG5fn3Qy4

    • (((fka_donnie_d)))

      amazing

  • schmannity

    Trump Tower has hot and cold running Russian hooker pee. The White House only has potable water. Why must Trump suffer?

  • Bananas Foster

    They’re going to have to tent the place after Trump leaves.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Every place that wants Steve Bannon to leave has to resort to that sooner or later…

      • PubOption

        Once he leaves, the cleaners will be finding hidden bottles for months.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          The whiskey bottles are labeled “in”…don’t ask what’s in the bottles labeled “out”

      • calliecallie

        OMG, that’s it! Vincent D’Onofrio should play him in the movie. Bannon is the bug guy alien from Men in Black.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Edgar maybe. But Bobby Goren was the NYPD’s Sherlock.

  • Nounverb911
  • schmannity

    Public housing previously occupied by the Blahs. Unfair!

    • Latverian Diplomat

      At least knock it down and build something on top of the empty lot first!

  • La forza del resistino

    He’s pissed some staffer told him he couldn’t add fake Time mag covers to the hall of portraits.

  • fawkedifiknow

    The chief butler was heard to say, on January 20, 2017 as the Trump’s were moving in, “Here’ goes the neighborhood.”

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    I said it on last night’s open thread and I will gladly repeat it:
    He lives in an apartment Liberace would be embarrassed to haunt.

    • Three Finger Salute

      “I wish my brother George was here to see — GAAAAAAH no, he’s the lucky one!”

      • Jennifercstewart

        Golden28a

        Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !au268d:
        On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        !au268:
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    • george lastrapes

      Onan the Vulgarian. Same decorator did his casinos and his baronial apartment.

  • Reximus

    OT but…too funny: Bus seats mistaken for burqas by members of anti-immigrant group

    Comments posted on Norwegian ‘Fatherland first’ Facebook group call empty seats on Oslo bus ‘terrifying’

    https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/aug/02/bus-seats-mistaken-burqas-anti-immigrant-group-norwegian

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/886da38aafbad7245907fdd40aeb7e8c235398f2b32a1109cbb35d18d4df4b85.jpg

    • Manders

      I loved this story and wanted to marry it.

      I wonder what they made of the handles. Do they think some burqas just come with a way for your husband to haul you around?

    • calliecallie

      Some intrepid artist should sneak on that bus and paint women’s faces on those seats.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      “Oh, Magoo, you’ve done it again!” https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/16617fcdd10ed6fdbcea736d3aa62c8e15be7438cc04637d61d2cdb415b5131c.jpg
      (You young folks might need to ask your grandparents about that reference.)

    • efoveks

      And here I thought, for all these years, that bus seats were never upholstered in white because the dirt would show..

    • Three Finger Salute

      Clint Eastwood getting mad at empty chairs again?

  • Indiepalin

    The White House needs some work all right. Trump will probably at least give it a new coat of paint (bright red, perhaps?) before he puts up the for sale sign.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Trump also lamented the absence of any decent golf holes on the National mall, adding ‘the reflecting pool is the least imaginative water hazard I have ever seen.”

    • La forza del resistino

      Taking after Narcissus, we’d be lucky if he spent more time at the reflecting pool.

      • therblig

        i Echo your sentiments.

  • Bright Bart

    “Considering what Trump’s apartment in Trump Tower looks like, we imagine the residence looks like a sea of gold-plated cat smegma right now.”

    My uncle successfully got a personalized licence plate from the great state of FL with the word “shmegma” on it. They demanded it back once they figured out what it meant. Sad.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    boor
    /bo͝or/
    noun

    an unrefined, ill-mannered person.

    synonyms: lout, oaf, ruffian, thug, yahoo, barbarian, Neanderthal, brute, beast, lubber;

    • PubOption

      The resistance is fighting the boor war.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      troglodyte, ape, swine, ass, cretin, pig, clown, dunderhead, churl;

      • BearGHAZI

        blackguard!

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Republican, Trump Supporter…

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Neanderthal libelz!
      — Alley Oop

    • SadDemInTex

      Neanderthal libelz

    • Eileen Besse

      Trump.

    • Querolous

      boor
      /bo͝or/
      noun

      an unrefined, ill-mannered person.

      synonyms: trump. lout, oaf, ruffian, thug, yahoo, barbarian, Neanderthal, brute, beast, lubber;

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Actually, Donnie inadvertently was right about something for once. It is currently a dump – a toxic waste dump – and will remain one as long as he is residing there

  • Manders

    Well, he wouldn’t recognize class if it walked up, whanged him in the head with a cast-iron pan, and then handed him a bag of frozen peas (because class).

    • DainBramage

      I’m picturing Judi Dench with that cast iron pan.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        She would probably do it pro bono.

        • LesBontemps

          Whatta dame.

      • La forza del resistino

        Rosie O would be glad to do it in a Brit accent.

  • Indiepalin

    Moving the White House itself to Las Vegas is probably impossible, but that doesn’t mean a replica built next to the Raiders football stadium is off the table.

  • memzilla Ω

    ICYMI: Lord Dampnut signed the Russia Sanctions bill. Oddly, not in one
    of those self-fellating photo ops he lurves to do. You just know Uncle
    Vladya is NOT HAPPY about this. Wonder how long it’ll take incriminating
    Rethuglican emails to start hitting Wikileaks?
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/04c37ec69757ca3c8e9e08021a959c1c51666d05c1f188b10723731663adf860.jpg

    • DainBramage

      Your turn Vlad. Release the peepee tape!

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Putin, to Trump: “This is not why I put you in office, tovarisch. Remember tape…”

      • therblig

        “I signed in pencil, my master” – DJT

    • anon_the_great

      He can sign anything. The trick here is implementation.

  • icekat

    All snark aside, Chelsea’s tweet was a pretty classy way of throwing shade.

    • Sedagive ’em Hell

      Agreed: pitch-perfect.

    • ltmcdies

      she’s actually pretty talented at “twitter shade”

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Lock her up!

  • Anna Rompage

    The fucking guy eats cold, stale McDonalds on Air Force 1…

    Have you ever tried to eat a cold McDonalds french fry?

    Fuck, I’d rather eat chicken flavored kitty kibble, as there’s nothing worse than a cold french fry, except for maybe that fermented shark crap the make in Iceland…

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Now now, lt’s not get carried away. I just fed my neighbour’s cat who is on a holiday and now I remember why I never fed my cats moist cat food.

      • Anna Rompage

        Hence the disclaimer for kibble….

        Wet cat food is as bad as that Deviled Ham potted meat crap…

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          Ah ok, sorry I thought kibble was wet food. My bad.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Leave a McDonalds “milk shake” out in the sun some time. Nothing happens.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        I once cleared out the fridge at work, just to get rid of all the crap that had been left and was date expired. At the back I found an opened pack of sliced turkey ham, which was six months past the sell-by date. It hadn’t gone rotten, because it was actually mummified. Jebus knows what chemicals were in it, but I don’t think I want them in my body.

        • Antonin Dvorak

          Nitrates, lots of nitrates.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          True story. There’s a guy in Iceland who has kept his Quarter Pounder from when the last McDonalds in Reykjavik closed. This was, like, 15 years ago. It looks the same.

          • Ghenghis McCann

            Finally we have achieved the equivalent of Dwarf Bread in Terry Pratchett’s Discworld/i> books.

    • therblig

      i just watched “Fermented Shark Crap” on SyFy last night. I think they’re just phoning it in now.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Haha! And it doesn’t take long for them to go bad either. You’ve gotta eat that shit IMMEDIATELY.

    • Fancy Meau-Faux

      Hakarl libel!!!

      Actually not, that stuff is awful. See also: fermented puffin. WTF is wrong with Iceland?

      • Anna Rompage

        It was an old world way of preserving food…

        Eating awful food was better than starving to death

        • Fancy Meau-Faux

          Yeah, I do know that. Traditions die hard as well, which is why that stuff is still around.

      • Kiri the Unicorn
      • proudgrampa

        Is that anything like *shudder* Surströmming (fermented herring)?

    • Three Finger Salute

      “Here Mr. President, if you promise not to nuke my country, I’ll let you try a Canadian-Russian delicacy. It’s called Vladimir Vladimirovich Poutine.” -Trudeau

  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    You can lead a whore to culture, but you can’t make him think (apologies to Dorothy Parker).

    • proudgrampa

      I loves me some Dorothy Parker…

  • Hrmm, I wonder if they’ll let him gold plate the bars on his cell…

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Fool’s gold would be a perfect metaphor.

  • Michael Smith

    Wingnut Hot Take: Obama messed it up.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Just try to figure out what the stupid bastard is talking about here…

    https://twitter.com/paulkrugman/status/892732363641413632

    • La forza del resistino

      Like the tides, Donald’s words just come in and go out.

    • The Wanderer

      If I had been elected, I would have begged Krugman to be Treasury Secretary.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      TRUMP: I want to achieve growth.

      So those rumours about his inadequacies in a certain department must be true then? I saw it on the Interwebs, and in HIS OWN WORDS!1!!!

      • Bright Bart

        in ma pants!

    • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

      OMG! TRUMP KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT ANYTHING!!!!!
      sorry to scream, but aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhh, he’s a dope! And he’s the Pres of my beloved country- aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhh, again!

    • proudgrampa

      WHAT was he even saying in that shit storm of words???

      • OrG in England

        MY taxes are too high.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        He seems to say that he has an imaginary friend he calls Mr Elegant, who he talks to.

        • Old town Urbandale

          Mr. Elegant, the classiest of the DC superheroes.

          • therblig

            evildoers fear his monocle of justice!

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      “Words I heard muttered on cable news, randomly strung together, and evacuated out my face hole.”
      — Donald Trump.

  • BillEGoatSmirk

    Pretty soon there’ll be an eviction notice with a tiny little pair of handcuffs wrapped inside, and delivered with all due pomp and circumstance by the FBI.

  • Anna Rompage

    It’s no wonder Trump thinks the White House is a dump, if it’s true he had Russian pee hookers piss all over a bed Obama slept in, it must make his skin crawl knowing that Obama and his whole family occupied the White House before he moved in…

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    It’s a given, knowing his gaudy overwrought aesthetic, Dumbass wouldn’t know real class if it tied him down, placed nipple clips on his swollen moobs and sat on his bloated face. But man, imagine if Obama or some other Dem said this–the RW rage monkeys would demand blood.

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    Trump in tennis shorts is actually much, much worse than the shooped golf course diarrhea.

    • Me not sure

      I’d really like to show him my backhand.

    • rEVOLutionist

      I cringe every time I scroll down and see that pic of his ginormous, white ass! Ewwww. . . . .

      • (((fka_donnie_d)))

        Clearly a collaboration with Lululemon

  • Me not sure

    Russian Tea Room or the new White House state dining room? YOU make the call! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0711148d4d7becb6d24e454cc036ad59b4c2b5a0cdc1ff6dc046f528ab6c6cb6.jpg

  • Jgb979

    You know if you hate it so much you can always move out…….

    “Just sayin”

  • La forza del resistino

    I’m o.k. with him moving back to 5th Ave, as long as the red buttons and football stays in DC.

    • goingohm

      Nah, let him take the Redskins too.

  • CripesAmighty

    There is a solution: just select the Grand Deluxe Luxury Versailles model with Genune Lucite Chandelier and Mylar Gold Applique Accents from Ernie’s EZ-Pay Mobile Home and Farm Implement Emporium, and roll it up to the South Lawn. He’ll feel right to home.

    When he gets the boot, they can haul it back.

  • Crystalclear12

    How many days are we into our national shame, again?

    • LesBontemps

      AOT,K.

  • calliecallie

    So nouveau riche.

    NOUN: people who have recently acquired wealth, typically those perceived as ostentatious or lacking in good taste.

    synonyms: parvenus · arrivistes · upstarts · (traitors, also too.)

    • Three Finger Salute

      French words, very bad, not American! SAD!

  • Chyron HR

    Sure, the White House is a dump, but ins’t that the case for most nursing homes?

  • You know, I never really thought I’d answer “yes” to this meme. So… yeah… I guess there’s that.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3b1291a7cb90cd98de4e266ef76ddeb739be8394a50b041b3a89a1d7f3c02fb2.jpg

    • Latverian Diplomat

      I miss 2008…in the same way I look forward to 2020…

    • MynameisBlarney

      Nope.

      • Steve Cole

        Also voting “no”, ask me again when Trumpolini starts a war.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Sorry, I’m still missing shingles pain far more.

      • amrak63

        Thank Madoka, I can’t make that comparison (yet, at least).

  • Wild Cat

    So his WH-based hookers are complaining that they can see him farting away at them in aged acts of coitus in the ceiling-hung mirrors?

    • amrak63

      I now need to go back and get some of the brain bleach I already posted on this thread. Damn my imagination!

  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FsZzzyi7RFY

    WIth Eva Gabor as Melania, Maureen McCormick as Ivanka, Anson Williams as Donald, Jr., Danny Bonaduce as Eric, AND STARRING Jerry Mathers as The Donner.

  • Hanaka

    *ahem* or Elizabeth Warren…

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Don’t feel bad, Mr. Trump. I have to live in an Observatory! Being that close to anything scientific gives me a rash!”
    — Mike Pence

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Though Donald thought that at the Navel Observatory they’d be able to think through alot of things no-one knew were so complicated…

      • Three Finger Salute

        Navel orange observatory?

  • BigCSouthside

    I saw an article, can’t remember where, but studied the architectural and decorative styles of well known dictators/autocrats in history and it created a series of defining criteria to be described as “Dictator Chic”.

    Then they looked at trump properties. He hit every single one, often multiple times

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      The one exception I can think of is that autocrats/drug lords tend to be fond of private zoos. The Trumps are happy to just slaughter these critters in Africa.

      • george lastrapes

        Trump’s cabinet and cronies are his private zoo. There may be a cage of Russian peehookers, as well.

    • OutOfOrbit

      r.e. Sudamn Hussain’s palaces

    • AJ Milne

      Probably reviewing Peter York, Dictator Style. And yeah, Trump’s trashy gilt-dipped stuff does like it would fit in nicely.

    • GuidedAccordingly
    • Rags

      Try Napoleon III’s (that’s the other one, 4-5) apartments in the Louvre

  • SadDemInTex

    I repeat what someone downthread wrote: It is a dump to him because the Obamas lived there. That racist fuck hates the coodies left behind.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Once he tossed out all of Obama’s crack pipes and velvet paintings of naked white women, you’d think the place would be pretty nice.

      • OutOfOrbit

        i can haz the paintings plz?

  • puredog

    I particularly liked the tweeter who agreed with Trump, pointing out that — traditionally — “dumps contain garbage,” and therefore QED.

  • CeeQ

    Well to be fair – Trump doesn’t get to play with pee hookers in the WH. Unlike when he goes to the Kremlin and has been a very good boy! You can see why he’s miffed.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Remember all the outrage when Obama demeaned the White House by wearing a tan suit and put his feet on the desk? Apparently Trump won with millions of goldfish votes.

    • Three Finger Salute

      The outrage over Obama demeaning the White House by wearing a tan suit began in November 2008.

      Tan birthday suit, that is.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • OutOfOrbit

      a treat to look at that in a pitcher I but wouldn’t wanna be there

    • Mildred Broxon

      Reminiscent of the brothel in Pompeii.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Trump is a dumb person’s version of how the rich live.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Tangentially, I remember a Miss Marple mystery where she figured out the murder victim was only posing as a member of the upper classes, because she was overdressed.

      • Jamoche

        Miss Manners had a letter once from someone who thought they were being more classy by dressing up more than everyone else. You could just feel the facepalm in her reply.

  • Edith Prickly

    OT – Trumpf is making an announcement for legislation to keep out all the scary brown people who no speak English restrict legal immigration and he’s hauled out Tom fucking Cotton in front of the cameras. Sad!

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      The RAISE Act–gotta speak English.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Trump enjoys Cotton’s hillbilly hummers.

      • Les Appentis De la résistance

        That neck performs an unbelievable deep throat.

        • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

          HAHAHA! “I call this technique ‘bobbin’ for apples!”

        • yyyaz

          As if Tiny Donnie could even tickle a uvula on his deepest thrust.

    • amrak63

      Ascended Madoka help me, this Niedermeyer imitator is my junior Senator.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Issued a signing statement too. My favorite part is again, in a signing statement, he brags he built a company worth “many billions of dollars” and that he can make “far better deals” than Congress.

      https://twitter.com/ZekeJMiller/status/892766970449465344

      • Reximus

        wtf

        • Steve Cole

          Lots of “NK and Tehran” – not many references to Russia. Hmm…

      • BigCSouthside

        He didn’t write that. He probably hasn’t read it. He probably screamed profanities and praise of himself at a staffer and they translated into this shit pile

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Donnie, Donnie, we have saying in Russia:
      Dance with him what brung you, or you’ll be pissing Polonium juice before nightfall…

    • Johnny Appleseed

      Since the Press and cameras were banned…did he???

      Not that I don’t trust him…much.

  • beatbort

    Well, Mr. Trump, as one of your 300 million landlords, I want to say that the place was pristine before you took up residence there. You signed a 4-year lease, too, but I am willing to allow you to break that lease, as long as you pay for all the damage you’ve done to our property while there. We’ll even send along some movers to help you pack.

    • Edith Prickly

      It’s going to take a fuckton of Febreze to get the KFC whiff out of the carpet and curtains.

    • medcannabis1

      he is about to pay with everything he and his family owns.
      RICO for the tax fraud@DUMPTRUMP

    • ken_kukec

      And provide you temporary federal housing at USP Lewisburg, say for the next 7 – 10 years?

  • CripesAmighty

    AP-Washington: “And, in President Trump’s new request issued to the Secret Service…” https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3928cce1d9347c7c4aaf3b11432fcea8d2eeb16f58814c6d24fd75d7877d1a31.jpg

  • therblig
    • Ghenghis McCann

      And Trump would never realise that they were mocking him. He would see that as a tribute to his class.

    • Thiazin Red

      Part of me does want to find someone to engineer mini giraffes.

      • therblig

        well, who doesn’t?

        and copies of okapis.

  • Me not sure

    I think I can show Trump a real dump should he be interested in seeing one ….or more. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c5278c41bf1e59a2541f2b5cf33115824e0515cd30ac1cdd27876b35db9f6391.jpg

  • OneYieldRegular

    Obama/Trudeau together in the Lincoln bedroom and Harris/Gillibrand 2020? Christ-on-a-pick, Wonkette, it is way too early in the morning for this kind of thing that could lead to a heart attack at my age.

    • OutOfOrbit

      at ANY age! cheesh

  • Johnny Appleseed

    A Dump?? Facepalm! My bet is that Bob Mueller doesn’t agree. And Bob, I do want you to thoroughly provide the President a full colonoscopy up to his tonsils, but I’d be happier if you could “put a nickel in it”!

  • CripesAmighty

    Thanks for the link to Pete Souza’s page. Come for the Obama nostalgia, stick around for tons of other exquisite work. Go hang around there a while, y’all. Great blood-pressure reducer.

    • BigCSouthside

      I always get pissed when I see obama pictures now. Like how could we have followed that with THIS

  • blarg

    “but that shit will be a lot easier for Kamala Harris or Kirsten Gillibrand to rip out in January of 2021.”

    SLOW CLAP

  • medcannabis1

    Donnie the diddler has some old bad acts about to surface from his days with Jeffrey Epstein.. not about pee pee… about child sexual abuse.
    Someone please tell that money-laundering,sexual predator tax cheat who colluded with a hostile foreign government in a time of war to commit espionage that his fat ass should be grateful for those lodgings AMERICANS PAID FOR THEM
    Hope he likes his upcoming new Federal accommodations at Florence Super Max in Colorado..
    Treasonous ASSWIPE!

    • Ghenghis McCann

      “But her emails!!”

    • Courser_Resistance

      I’ve been past Supermax. At night. It looks like an alien spaceship landed in the middle of nowhere and set up house. That place is lit up like daylight 24/7

    • amrak63

      From your keyboard to the screen of the Ascended Madoka.

  • azeyote

    more like a shit house while he’s there –

  • Carpe Vagenda

    I feel like I need to pace my outrage, so I’ll just point out that Trump tried to overrule his designers when they told him that if he lined the Trump Shuttle with that horrible beigey marble he favors it would be too heavy to take off.

    Well, and this.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/282d72683e06b984155af70a836187208a05628d04df0954255dfd7bb90682fb.png

    • Joe Beese

      Oozes class from every pore.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        “Crass”, FIFY!

      • WIDTAP

        With Donny, I don’t that that is what is oozing out.

        • paxpax

          is that where the cat smegma is coming from?

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Looking stupid, unhappy…well miserable, actually in a gaudy photograph does not exhibit class. That’s fake class! Does Donnie really know how to play a piano? I bet that piano has never even been tuned since he got that thing. WUT CLASS!!

      • Carpe Vagenda

        There are pictures of his first set of kids using it back in the day. I think that’s a walk in closet.

      • MamaBrown

        Nah, he just needed somewhere to display his wife.

    • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

      those people are so gross

    • Thiazin Red

      I saw an old article that had the original interiors of his apartment. It was 80s as hell, but it had nice high ceilings and was mostly classy.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I have issues with Ivana, but she seriously tried to usher him into adulthood (which is presumably why he dumped her like a hot rock).

    • Beanz&Berryz

      That woman’s got butt cheeks on her chest…

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Drumpf: And on this wall I want a painting. Something with a gold frame.

      Maurice: What kind of painting?

      Drumpf: I dunno. Fruit! Yeah, lots of fruit.

      • natoslug

        Nothing says class like black velvet. It’s your choice from there of Fat Elvis or Dogs Playing Poker (which I have, but not on black velvet, just a leftover from when I worked in a veterinary hospital. It was too fabulous to just throw away).

        • LucindathePook

          Oh yeah, I have Dogs Playing Poker on a rug hung on my rec room wall.

          • Miss Dill

            I have a small, framed Dogs playing Poker on my laundry room wall. I found it in a thrift shop and had to have it. But a hanging rug? I’d love to see that.

          • LucindathePook

            Oh, it is about 4×6 and has fringe. Got it in a resale store many years ago.

          • Miss Dill

            Sounds pretty cool! : )

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “Play it, Sam.”

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      *Okay Melania, there’s a photog coming by this afternoon. He’s gonna take some pictures of us for a magazine – real high toned stuff, ya know? Now I want you to go put on that brown, lacy sheath – you know, the one that your tits almost get squeezed out of? And practice sitting on the piano. That’s the way…oh boy, this is gonna be sooo classy!”

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Weeks ago, I posted a list of things I would ban when I became King of the World. Please allow me to add “white pianos” to that list. Dear God, what an abomination.

        • Incoming Ham

          Even Liberace would be repulsed.

        • Miss Dill

          I was just going to comment on the white piano then I saw your post.
          Dat’s real class right dere.

      • Redhead

        Melon’s dress is one inhaled breath away from Double Nipple-gate, The Wardrobe Malfunction. The dress, the pose, the facial expression all combine to make her look like a very high priced rent-a-date. Which, I suppose, seems to be what tRump really likes in a woman.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      I’m sorry, what is the emotion that is trying to be conveyed here? He looks like someone just took away his Big Mac, and she looks incredibly bored and/or zonked out of her mind.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I think he’s trying for blue steel and she’s trying for Real Doll.

      • greyXstar

        I have yet to see a shot of them together where either of them looks like they have the first clue where they are or what’s going on.

        • Rags

          Or that they can stand each other.

    • Serai 1

      Uch, they look like the cover of Gangster Monthly.

    • The Wanderer

      The off-Broadway version of The Fabulous Baker Boys.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Atlantic City dinner theater, maybe.

    • ken_kukec

      How much for the candelabrum?

    • MamaBrown

      So wait, he plays the piano? How do his tiny fingers manage to reach the keys? JK, I know he doesn’t! though of course if he DID play, he would be the best, yoogest piano player in the world. Tremendous, believe me.

  • Randy Riddle

    The CIA and FBI will have to strip the place down to the bare walls and fumigate for Russian bugs when the Trumps move out.

    Meanwhile, “US considering buying new Air Force One planes built for bankrupt Russian airline” … No possible security issues, there, no sir …

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/01/politics/us-air-force-one-bankrupt-russian-airline/index.html

    • Ghenghis McCann

      “Very cheap, but wiring is perfect. No need to check wiring.”

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Pretty sure the cost of retrofitting them to meet AF1 standards (rather than having them built from the ground up to those standards) is gonna eat any “savings” by buying a couple of white-tailed planes in storage.

  • ltmcdies

    in other news…..WH releases Trump whining statement about having to sign that Russian legislation he didn’t like….boo hoo, Donald
    https://twitter.com/jessebyrnes/status/892765844782055425

    • Jamoche

      Who the fuck actually wrote that?

    • BillEGoatSmirk

      I guess General Kelly has Donnie’s cell phone locked up at Fort Knox.

    • Incoming Ham

      See Vlad! See! They made me! I didn’t want to do it!

  • Phoenixdoglover

    “Yes, this means Mike Pence’s wife “Mother” will probably end up filling the residence with circa 1985 floral wallpaper and back issues of Country Living magazine,…”

    Mother will also insist on vinyl slip covers.

    • Thiazin Red

      Ugh, everyone in my boyfriend’s family has that decor. Its so awful, and before we stopped seeing them for Christmas they would try to gift us with horrible shitty “country” craft garbage despite us telling them not to get us anything.

      • Redhead

        Mr. Redhead calls that type of decor “Ruffles and Ducks”

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      She would fill the W.H. with all of that “scrapbooking” crap from Hobby Lobby. We will have to burn it down and start over again when they move out.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Yes, it’s called “Early Cracker Barrel.”

      • Serai 1

        More like Ethan Allan Chic.

    • ResistanceFictionista blondeiq

      Doilies on the arm rests.

    • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

      Those little vinyl carpet runners, too.

      I had a boyfriend in high school whose mother flipped out if you messed up the vacuum lines on her shag rugs–she spent quality time artfully vacuuming in the lines, just so. So we had to stick to the runners if we knew what was good for us.

  • AJ Milne

    ‘Cos I referenced it downthread:

    https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/168700.Dictator_Style

    … in the future, America, in addition to insisting on tax returns, watching for stuff like this in a candidate’s living room is probably a pretty decent warning as to who really isn’t gonna be down with checks and balances.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      “Dick Tater Chic”

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    Trump probably can’t stand the White House because a blah lived there for eight years. And of all blahs, it happened to be Barry. Trumpy don’t like Barry.

  • RMKH

    “A sea of gold-plated cat smegma…”. Once again, Evan, you’ve crafted a new phrase that is bound for a permanent place in the Trump Lexicon. Beauty.

    • ResistanceFictionista blondeiq

      And all the naked butt yodelers yodeled in unison.

  • BigCSouthside

    The trump’s are white trash with money

    • Thiazin Red

      I can’t remember who said it, but they said Trump is like a Depression era hobo’s idea of what a rich person is.

      • BillEGoatSmirk

        From Fran Lebowitz in VF, October 2016: “He’s a poor person’s idea of a rich person. They see him. They think, ‘If I were rich, I’d have a fabulous tie like that. Why are my ties not made of 400 acres of polyester?’ All that stuff he shows you in his house—the gold faucets—if you won the lottery, that’s what you’d buy.”

      • Rags

        And a stupid person’s idea of a smart person.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Let’s hope there’s a Palin-style methbilly trailer park in their future.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      I seriously question the “with money” part. It’s all a tangle of highly-leveraged, gilt-plated junk as far as I can tell. Also, I’ve know a whole lot of white-trash folks I would sure rather spend my time with. They are harder working and certainly more honest about who they are.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Or it’s rubles on loan, and if Putin gets impatient he’s going to call in Donnie’s debts. BIGLY. With YUGE consequences for everyone.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I was thinking they were like some of the French aristocrats before the French Revolution, and we all know what happened to them.

  • LithiumION

    I was this close to having the cat circumcised because of all the smegma, but then I discovered that baby wipes work like MAGIC!

    Take away: Trump should rub the entire White House with baby wipes.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Dude, I didn’t need to know that :-(

  • Lurkylu

    really, what a disgusting piece of SHIT

  • Mavenmaven

    He hates the White House because he can’t download porn there’s, that’s why he always needs to go to his own properties.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      That might explain why he starts tweeting in the wee small hours. He’s trying to get the pron, and keeps getting “Access Denied.” No wonder he sounds angry and frustrated

  • Lisa Churinskas-Hulit

    Wait! Mike Pence calls his wife “Mother”?

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Yes. And that may be all you need to know.

    • PhloxALot

      It explains a lot, if you think about it.

    • Serai 1

      Yes, he does, and that’s not all that uncommon. When a married couple have children, the wife often ends up being called “Mom” by everybody. It’s fun to mock Pence for it, but it’s not unique to him, or even controversial.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I’ve heard that, but in 61 years I have never met anyone who did it.

        • Bebecca

          what you don’t know any Amish people? (actually I have no idea if they do). I don’t think Pa did it on Little House on the Prairie.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            There are Amish people nearby, but I don’t get invited into their homes. In rural Missouri they use nicknames a lot. I know lots of people whose real name I have never heard anyone say, but they list themselves in the phone book by their birth name, which is really confusing, because you go to look up “Rusty Jones” and there is no Rusty Jones, and you don’t know his real name is Melvin Dwayne.

      • Incoming Ham

        I think it was a common Victorian thing, just not as common now. Sometimes there is a cultural element (ethnic, family, whatever)

  • Mavenmaven

    Trump is upset because they told him he wasn’t allowed to get pee bookers to pee on Obama’s bed.

  • Slithytoves

    God that taco salad looks disgusting.

    • MamaBrown

      Not enough gold.

  • Dolmance

    Everywhere Donald lays his fat ass down, he wants to make it look like a small town, rural America fake Chinese Restaurant, with a view.

  • Tully

    If I’d been drinking anything it would be all over the place after scrolling past the sexxxy photos of Obama and Trudeau and encountering that – mildly – unflattering Trump tennis picture.

    • Three Finger Salute

      I’m not a programmer, but if I was I’d build a browser extension that automatically replaces every picture of Trump with one of an orange kitten.

      http://www.catsvscancer.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/adorable-orange-blue-eyed-kitten.jpg

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I could handle that. Kittens are god’s most perfect creation.

        • (((Aron)))

          PUPPIES AND BABY DONKEYS

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Puppies and baby donkeys are definitely very cute. Also piglets, although their cuteness doesn’t last very long.

          • Three Finger Salute
          • Angela Ruzzo

            I can still quote my favorite Piglet. I am 61 and I still sing this on snowy days.

            The more it
            Snows-tiddley-pom
            The more it
            Goes-tiddley-pom
            The more it
            Goes-tiddley-pom
            on Snowing.

            And Nobody
            Knows-tiddley-pom,
            How cold my
            Toes-tiddley-pom
            Are Growing.

          • MamaBrown

            who doesn’t??

          • (((Aron)))

            AAAAAH HOW COULD I FORGET ABOUT BABBY PIGGIES AAAAAAH

            I’ll calm down now.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            They have those little pink corkscrew tails, and they squeak when they try to grunt. So cute! I just found two baby mockingbirds in a nest behind my house. Now, they are not cute. Not yet. They look vaguely like something prehistoric before they get their feathers.

          • (((Aron)))

            PIGGIES PIGGIES PIGGIES PIGGIES PIGGIES

          • Three Finger Salute
      • Bright Bart
      • Incoming Ham

        Make Kittens Trump again for chrome.

      • Miss Dill

        Well, could you maybe figure out how to replace him with an orange kitten in real life, then? That would be AWESOME!

      • HooverVilles

        Purrrrfect!

  • UnsaltedSinner
    • chascates

      Looks like what God would have built if He had the money but had no design sense.

    • greyXstar

      Not a tacky dickbag. Not a tacky dickbag. You’re the tacky dickbag!

    • Three Finger Salute

      You forgot the “golden showers” adding liquid “glitz” to the carpeting.

    • Claire

      That’s a gut reno, right there. It would cost more than you’d pay for the apartment to make it livable again.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Rumor has it, the Property Brothers were called for this job, but they’ve voluntarily given themselves a travel ban to America.

        I hear the wife-beating philanderer from Flip or Flop will take anything though.

        • Miss Dill

          Wife-beating philanderer? Oh no – I hadn’t heard that. Damn. I used to love that show.

    • Incoming Ham

      How does M. walk around in high heels on that ice rink and not break a leg?

    • Jennaratrix

      I can’t even imagine trying to relax in this home. It’s so shiny and reflect-y and tacky; and how LOUD must it be? Everything would echo off all that “marble.” It’s ugly as fuck, and the worst part is it probably cost a mint. And also too, it would take a veritable army of maids to keep it dust and fingerprint free. Fuck all that noise. I’ll take my scratched family hand-me-down furniture, dog-ruined leather couch, threadbare carpets and dust-and-animal-hair covered hardwoods any day over this travesty.

      • Eileen Besse

        I live in your house (well, not really), and I’ll take it over that fill-in-the-blank EVERY time!

    • Yr. Gma

      I don’t think I could wear my sterling silver jewelry in that place.

    • Gussie Jives

      Funnily enough, the Hustler offices look a lot like this….

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenResistance
    • Miss Dill

      Okay, now that brought tears to my eyes – the second quote, of course, not the Dumpster’s. Thanks for posting as the news is largely watching Trump degrade the office he has no appreciation for or of. (How’s that for ending with some prepositions? ; ) )

  • armed_bears

    Has somebody pee’d in the bedrooms?

  • Three Finger Salute

    I prefer Trudeau’s redesign of the interior at Rideau Cottage better. Sunny ways.

    I think this HGTV series is called, “Property Brothers Junior and a Middle Sister Too”.

    http://ca.hellomagazine.com/images/stories/0/2017/04/07/000/454/698/featured_5_3.jpg

  • Incoming Ham

    It’s impossible to know when the Id is joking as his entire existence has become a joke.

  • ken_kukec

    When it comes to décor, the Donald do loves him some Bath Party chic.

  • ResistanceFictionista blondeiq

    Okay, now it’s personal. Errr…more personaler than before. The most personal. When I escorted my overseas guests on their White House tour two years ago, I fucking wept in the corridors. Fuck that trump guy, right in his ear.

  • nightmoth

    Pete Souza—thanks for the memories.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    I honestly never ever need to see Donny’s panties.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      And he, honestly, can never ever see them, either.

  • FelineMama

    That ‘tennis’ pic of “IT” made me go blind for a few seconds. Then I threw up in my mouth a little.

    • ⭐️Most Accurate Poster 2017⭐️

      You know what would be worse that seeing that underwear through his shorts? Not seeing it. Trump going commando.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        But you’ve seen a Ken doll, right? Not a whole lot different, I’d imagine. Except he would look like Ken’s grandfather.

        • ⭐️Most Accurate Poster 2017⭐️

          way more wattling and ‘rhoids.

      • Eileen Besse

        Barfola….

    • MamaBrown

      You’re lucky. sustained projectile vomiting here. now in a corner, whimpering.

      • willi0000000

        you type good for a whimperer.

    • Rags

      And that pic is like 10 years ago when he was svelte.

      • Jukesgrrl

        Yes, these days he’s wearing Depends instead of tighty whities.

  • greyXstar

    How did this classless sentient tire fire manage to make it 71 years without someone pummeling him within an inch of his miserable life?

    • bookish

      Money. Cowardice.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Considering how many have probably tried/volunteered.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Sentience libelz!!!!

    • Just think what Keith Richards could have saved us.

    • Jukesgrrl

      “Sentient tire fire” for the win, tire fire being better than dumpster fire. Lasts longer, smells worse.

    • Snarkbot 9000

      “…sentient” – Citation Needed.

      • greyXstar

        He senses when there’s something that needs screwing up and then commits to the very worst possible option. And he does it better than anyone!

  • Marceline

    When I’ve imagine Justin and Barack in the bedroom together, it looked…um…different.

    • starfanglednut

      That tears it. I’ll be in my bunk.

    • Buzz1313

      Word!

  • Mike Steele

    Lady MS here: To anyone/thing Trump, back off, you MF “American” pretenders. On Mom’s side, we’ve been here from pre-Revolutionary jump. Whatever has survived/been restored over the ages is classic American. Your gilded, strip-mall knockoffs are as much anathema to architectural/decorative style as state-sponsored propaganda outlet Faux News is to the founders’ concept of a free press. Go TF home, as you’ll never be comfortable – or welcome – in the cradle of a democracy you do not even understand. Once again, out of sheer spite, will refer Wonkers to Howard Stern episode wherein he challenged D Sr, Jr & Ivanka, crowing about their store-bought UPa creds, to perform a simple arithmetic problem. All were stumped. The old man got it wrong, just like a father would, then insisted he was right. Only person who could do the math was the cameraman. WEAK! SAD! TYPICAL!

    • HogeyeGrex

      I need to find that Stern bit.

  • george lastrapes

    No ethnic group is more misunderstood and mistreated than the Vulgarians. Trump’s forebears fled Vulgaria to escape the threat of Danish Modern furniture and Bauhaus design. They came to America, where the inalienable right to gold-plated home furnishings is protected. Trump is the most visible avatar of the vibrant Vulgarian-American community, and he wants to give back to America. His Presidency is his gift to this country, and he is deeply hurt by our ingratitude.

    • BosGrl

      I remember the days of wrought iron everywhere, even inside; faux gold;
      thick marble tables with huge walnut legs; and flocked or foil wallpaper. Everything heavy and
      pretentious. The rest of the country grew out of it in a generation.

      • CindyinEncinitas
        • BosGrl

          I like that! My parents’ friends would have had that in gold with plastic flowers.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Is there any other kind? They were the bomb, except the kids couldn’t keep their fingers out of the oil and it ended up being a big mess which caused my mom to utter the immortal words “This is why we can’t have nice things.”

          • BosGrl

            Ha, yeah. That stuff was not made for kids to fool with.

    • Nasty Candy Apple

      You can tell Vulgarians by how short their fingers are.

      • george lastrapes

        Now that’s stereotyping! But fun. Many ways to spot a Vulgarian. F’rinstance: treating one’s daughter to a breast enhancement as a reward for finishing the ninth grade. Anyone else? “You’re a Vulgarian if you _______!”

        • Rags

          Respond to this.

          • george lastrapes

            I repeat myself: time for a meme-shift, or if you’d rather, a memorphosis. As targets for our pity or snark, let us replace the morbidly obese with the obscenely wealthy. An example: a mother and her six-year-old are walking around downtown. The kid says, “Mommy! Looka that man! Why’s he so rich?” Mommy shushes him. “Never say ‘rich’, darling, you’ll hurt his feelings. And he can’t help it. Something to do with the glands, or maybe he was just born that way.”

      • Rags

        Live short and suffer. Oh, VulGARians! Sorry.

      • amrak63

        As distinct from Rubberheads, whom you can tell because they always throw fish.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    One scoop is for loosers
    FIFY

  • BearLeft

    Best comment yet on the Orange Asswipe’s utter lack of class appeared as the title of a 1989 Doonesbury collection, back when T-Rump still owned the Trump Princess (since lost amid bankruptcy) and Mike’s wife, J.J., was commissioned to paint frescoes in the boat’s bathrooms under the Donald’s direction: Give Those Nymphs Some Hooters!

  • Nasty Candy Apple

    Maybe the Winter Palace in St. Petersburg would be more to Trump’s liking. He should go there.

    • reelreeler

      permanently

      • HooverVilles

        And forever eveeeeen!

  • mheister

    Harris? Gillibrand??? You misspelled Gabbard twice.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      ewwww

  • Lyly Sirivong
  • CindyinEncinitas

    To me, this is one of the most offensive things he has done. To insult the people’s house, the ungrateful, arrogant piece of shit has sunk to a low that is astonishing to me.

    • HooverVilles

      You hit the nail squarely on the head!

      • CindyinEncinitas

        *bows* Thank you. I’m still mad.

    • HooverVilles

      Every time I think Trumpy can’t go any lower, he proves me wrong. There is no bottom to what Trump is willing to do.
      Sigh!

      • amrak63

        “There is no bottom…”

        I beg to differ. When Trump and Putin get together, Trumpy is always the bottom. ;)

  • Yr. Gma
    • Snarkbot 9000

      Fun fact, also the #1 preferred spraypaint of people who huff it out of paper bags.

      • wavicles

        So that’s his problem, makes sense.

    • wavicles

      Needs moar fleck.

  • Bitter Scribe

    I think he wants it to look more like the homes in “Married to the Mob.”

  • William
    • Holly

      My heart is completely fractured from all the breaking its been going through. And now this is posted to remind me of how deliciously wonderful Obamz and his sexxxy sexx eyes are to gaze into. This man has the most admirable and humble way of saying incredibly intelligent things. Damn.

      • Blanche Beecham

        Dammit Holly, I miss him so much.

        • Holly

          I know Blanche. We just have to believe with all our scar covered hearts this never-ending nightmare will be over soon.

          • Teto85

            Fight with all your strength and might and heart for another as close to him as we can get to sit in that Oval Office. Never ever surrender.

    • Jo Mathie

      Oh America, I can’t imagine what it must be like to go from Obama to Trump. My online US friends are literally crying at what a mess it is. It’s funny to us in the UK because aside from the Paris Accord we don’t really have to deal with it and it’s comedy gold for our (and your) comedians, but damn. Talk about going from steak to a five day old hamburger you find in the street.

      • It’s pretty bad here. Every day is a new horror (today: justice going after white people discrimination…). It’s utterly exhausting.

        Then I read the above and just want to weep.

        I actually have Canadian citizenship, but does anybody really just pick up and move their life? Also, i think fighting for what you believe in is really really important.

        Thank you for thinking of us.

        • wavicles

          When circumstances reach a certain point, a person will make the change. They’re called refugees.
          But we need you here. If they don’t like it, they can leave.

      • William
      • HooverVilles

        Sigh!

      • cleos_mom

        Is Brexit the five day old hamburger?

        Gloat over your high ground at your own risk, honey.

        • Jo Mathie

          Oh believe me I voted against Brexit and no-one seems to know what to do about it. Brexit doesn’t have the nuclear codes though..

    • HooverVilles

      Everyone: Spread THIS!!!!!

  • gratuitous

    Ungrateful fuck, living on a fixed income in government housing, says what now?

  • Gussie Jives

    Hey, how come that jerk Trudeau got into the White House? The rest of us Canadians got the shaft back in 2011 when the State Department stopped working with the Canadian Embassy to book tours for foreign nationals! I had to photograph it from H Street over the shoulder of Secret Service agents!

    Stupid sexy Trudeau….

    • cleos_mom

      Why would you even want to visit the White House, what with that lack of ‘understated presence’ and all?

      • Gussie Jives

        Eh, just to say I did it. And to moon a portrait of Jefferson.

  • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

    If you want to class the place up all you have to do is move Trump the fuck out of it.

    • Snarkbot 9000

      Seems legit.

    • Gussie Jives

      Magic legs!

  • Flashman

    Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ denial that this happened is almost a guarantee that it did. I mean, how freaking stupid is that? There are no doubt a record and witnesses.

  • Ron Spangler

    Don’t forget about Tulsi Gabbard in 2020.

    • Lefty Wright

      I hope I can.

  • Buzz1313

    Had Obama said anything remotely close to this, Republicans would have impeached him.

    • HooverVilles

      Before or after their heads went all esplody?

      • wavicles

        wad’ya mean? They’re all splody all the time

        • HooverVilles

          Sigh! So true.

  • Gussie Jives

    Just speaking as a Canadian who toured Washington recently, the White House, like a lot of the other structures that make up the Mall… well, they are kinda ostentatious affairs, replete with marble columns as if trying to scream “Look at us! We’re so Athenian and democratic, aren’t we?!” And I can only reply “Yes, the slaves that built you I’m sure were singing the praises of democracy.”

    All I’m saying is it’s a tad garish in itself; it doesn’t have the understated presence and majesty of the Gothic or Romanesque Revival like Canada’s Victorian-era Parliament buildings. Still, better than the monstrosities the orange shitgibbon builds.

    • DC was built on purpose to awe and humble foreign heads of states. The Masons who built it were real down with the whole stark clean line ostentatiously towering frames and what not for a real reason. Mostly to give a hefty weight to a brand new country.
      DC was NOT built to be cuddly, cute nor comfy XD

      • Skadi

        I heard it was to make up for the weather.

        • cleos_mom

          If that was true, Jefferson City MO would resemble DC more closely. We have a very similar climate, although microbursts (sort of like straight-wind tornadoes) and the occasional “Midwestern hurricane” are part of the package.

    • amrak63

      Tastes differ. I like the Greco-Roman look. I thought it reflected small-r republican simplicity, rather than being “garish”.

      • Gussie Jives

        Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind it myself. I suppose what struck me was that every government building along Pennsylvania Avenue seemed to ape that look, the point that it was difficult to tell buildings apart. It was like they were trying to convince themselves really hard that they were the inheritors of the small-r republican traditions, when it was an illusion for all but wealthy white male landowners.

        The Tories of the Upper Canada Family Compact at least owned their snobbish superiority.

    • The Cravacor

      First time I’ve seen Gothic, Victorian, Romanesque and understaded used in the same sentence.
      When I toured Ottawa a while back I thought “how ostentatious for a land of 20 million people”.

      • Gussie Jives

        *shrug* All I’m saying is you walk down Queen Street here in Hogtown and Old City Hall has some charm in its grotesques. The Broadview Hotel, Poulton Block, Postal Station G… grand for sure, but not beating you over the head with allusions to Athenian republicanism that amounted to a lot of smoke and mirrors for the majority of Americans at the time.

        Plus, Confederation occurred long after the Empire abolished slavery (John Graves Simcoe being one of the first to do so well before the rest of Britain followed suit).

  • Cornelius Fussbudget

    This comment should not be a surprise to anyone. Trump’s whole campaign was based on the claim that America, as a whole, is a dump.

  • Red State Pinko
  • whitroth

    Well, sonofabitch,if you don’t like it, all you have to do is fire yourself and resign….

    • HooverVilles

      THIS!!!

    • amrak63

      I wish I could give this one 100 upvotes.

  • Redhead

    OMG my eyes!!. My eyes!! That picture of Mango Mussolini’s huge posterior in tennis whites. That are transparent enough to answer the age-old question: Boxers or Briefs? Plus the shorts are too tight.

    Now I must administer brain bleach because I’ve seen what cannot be unseen. The horror. The horror.

    • george lastrapes

      Panties in a wad. Troooly. Yooooogely!

    • amrak63

      I posted some BB upthread (if you’re reading newest first, downthread if you’re reading oldest first).

  • Harbinger08

    I just hope he doesn’t rent Russian hookers to pee on the beds just to show the Obama’s.

  • Lark_in_the_AM

    After nearly losing my lunch, decided to remedy the problem brought on by your last photo.

    You’re welcome. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6f63f2a23fcf5405cbe6e3b493484266450f7bfcfb663a5e138989c89ba1347b.png

    • alpacapunchbowl

      I was kinda hoping this would be a photo of, oh, let’s say Idris Elba or something, but this works too.

    • Snarkbot 9000

      Is that a Wilson?

  • Canis Greyhame

    Oh great, after the impeachment, the White House residence will go from what is surely a gauche parody of Versailles by now (replete with gold-leaf and mirrors) to the sort of chicken-fried, tin star kitsch-o-rama that Mother Pence probably likes.
    http://www.acountrycupboard.com/assets/images/ST21bed.jpg

  • Marr

    Oh God, I have theory where this is going. Trump is a developer. His default mindset would be to tear down and “improve” places. AKA gentrification. I think he is hinting and perhaps even planning to tear down the White House (he can stay elsewhere during construction) and replace it with something that would pay lip service to history and tradition instead of honoring it.

    For all the Republicans fears that Obama would turn the White House into a bling covered rap club, I think the real fear should be Trump’s unquenchable desire to bedazzle the shit out of everything.

    • wavicles

      “I call this new one the ‘Very White House’. It’s fantastic!”

  • Jennaratrix

    Pence White House – Laura Ashley wallpaper and drapes. There’s just no way around it.

    • Last Hussar

      My girlfriend wants Laura Ashley wallpaper.

      • Jennaratrix

        I’m sorry.

        • Last Hussar

          Its nice, honest.

          • Unregistered Hijabi Rockstar

            I saw a picture of a house with reproduction William Morris wallpaper, and I am CONSUMED WITH ENVY.

          • Jennaratrix

            All that matters is that YOU like it . ;-)

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        Used with a certain amount of restraint, it’s lovely.

    • HarpyLibtart

      And while they’re much too tasteful to have a portrait of themselves with Jesus, Laura Ashley wallpaper does almost demand one of those hideously tacky script appliques in Mother Pence’s sitting room – it’ll just be a Bible verse instead of some cringey “live-laugh-love” inanity. :P

      • bewareofme

        Blessed word ‘art’ hanging in every room.

  • Hardly Ideal

    “Do not surround yourself with splendor. Spend your treasury sparingly. Stock the halls of your holdfast with sturdy and plain men, and do not adorn your walls. Abhor gold. If you sit next to the sun too long, you’re likely to go blind.”
    -Au Vam, 15 Ways of Ruling

    • george lastrapes

      On the thirty-first floor
      A gold-plated door
      Won”t keep out the Lord’s burning rain.
      — the Flying Burrito Brothers

  • Hardly Ideal

    The White House is a dump? Didn’t health inspectors bust Mar-A-Lago multiple times for serving rotten meat?

    • Snarkbot 9000

      Not rotten – medium fresh.

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        with a soupçon of feculence.

        • SDGeoff3

          Our new Word Of The Day!

      • cleos_mom

        “In some cultures, medium fresh is a delicacy.”

  • Trump is just pissed that he has to live in government subsidized housing….

  • I bet he has not redecorated it besides slapping up a few gilt crap items.

  • Dartemus

    Maybe he’d like to jackhammer it to bits like he did the Bonwit Teller building’s historic artifacts.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      You’ll know he’s about to do that when he promises to preserve it carefully as an important historical landmark.

  • Dinz6315

    I did NOT need to end my evening with the picture of Trump’s enormous ass showing in his tideywhities through his tennis shorts.

    I am seriously traumatized right now.

  • Begin Anew Day

    Let Donnie decorate the White House.

    Taxpayers are going to save money when his collection of framed bikini bimbos get slapped up on the walls. The actual art these would displace can be schlepped off to some museum or other which would at least benefit some taxpayers somewhere. (Hopefully taxpayers in NEW YORK CITY!)

    • cleos_mom

      The Nelson-Atkins museum here in KC would be happy to give a few pieces a good home.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Considering what Trump’s apartment in Trump Tower looks like, we imagine the residence looks like a sea of gold-plated cat smegma right now.

    Cat smegma libelz!

  • Old Man Yells at Cloud

    He probably doesn’t like because the Whitehouse doesn’t have that Feculent Trump Property Smell.

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    I don’t know a lot of history and stuff like that, but I was under the impression that the White House hasn’t been a “dump” since Mrs. Kennedy fixed it up. I could be wrong. We could ask other Presidents, since we still have a couple living still. Eh! Their probably all losers.

    • SeeTrain65

      Any mention of Jackie Kennedy and White House tours remind me of this skit (apologies for the sound quality, but it’s not my fault!) …

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvOoWJfMMbU

      • cleos_mom

        We had a copy of that record; it was very funny. That was when it was possible to make a President the subject of humor and still respect him.

        • SeeTrain65

          We did, too. When we were young, we didn’t get most of the references, but it inspired us to find out why the jokes were funny.

      • SDGeoff3

        I lurve that one. I was mentally replaying it a few days ago.

  • wavicles

    Fun fact: Both his scoops are for losers.

  • I, for one, am saddened that the two-bit wall salesman from Queens is less than satisfied with his new residence. I urge him to immediately and permanently find some more suitable abode. In this case, I think it’s acceptable for the POTUS to prioritize his own comfort over serving the nation. After all, some things are just too upsetting to bear for four whole years. Go now, Donald. America will survive without you somehow.

    • george lastrapes

      Trump is Onan the Vulgarian!

    • SeeTrain65

      I would suggest someone, say, interior decorator R. Mueller, send him to a new abode filled with striped sunlight.

  • JParkerSD46

    Don’t like it? Simple solution. Resign and move the hell out.

  • phoenix00

    Thank goodness for awesome peoples like Pete Souza and Chelsea Clinton. There may be hope yet!

  • motmelere

    He never dissed the help, he says. Those founding fathers can go fuck their unpresidential asses all by themselves. Do I fucking sound focused? That’s fake news! Listen to my dead-eyed golem yell my position at you. Sad-followed by

  • Suttree

    Cat smegma libelz! Also too, I live in Jersey. Which happens to be a PATH Train away from that ugly fucking dump called Turnip Tower.

    • Regret

      Mwahaha, i read that without context.
      CAT SMEGAM LIBELZ!

  • Jennifercstewart

    Golden28a

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !au268d:
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    !au268:
    ➽➽
    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash558MediaMulti/Pay$97/Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::!au268l..,…..

  • SeeTrain65
  • rocktonsam

    “What’s the point I’m having all these statues if they dont have huge boobs?” D j t probably

  • HooverVilles

    From the tennis photo it looks like someone’s life battery is getting low.

    • SDGeoff3

      That’s the nicest thing anyone could call the president*’s ass.

  • BFD

    D. Trump somewhat abbreviated is Dump, and he indeed personifies the scatological variety.

  • cleos_mom

    I’ve taken to calling SHS “Sarah Hucksterbee Norelationtobernie.”

    • Peggy

      Sarah looks like she doesn’t have both oars in the water. Simply minded.

  • cats530

    Once again Trump has expressed his anal gland secretions all over America. Thanks to him, we’re a global laughingstock.

  • Peggy

    Trump doesn’t have an ounce of class or taste. Seems he prefers the brothel decor! Reminds him of all his time spent at the Russian brothels getting peed on.

  • Teto85
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