Donald Trump misses new money luxury. :(
In a new piece in Golf Dot Com, which is mostly about how Trump plays golf sometimes, the classless oaf who may be president but still will never be accepted in high New York society, is reported to have said this:
As President, Trump has already made four visits to [his Bedminster club]. He has his own cottage adjacent to the pool; it was recently given a secure perimeter by the Secret Service, leading to the inevitable joke that it’s the only wall Trump has successfully built. Chatting with some members before a recent round of golf, he explained his frequent appearances: “That White House is a real dump.”
Ungrateful trash misses his marble columns and his counter tops made of cheap granite. Worst of all, the master bedroom isn’t even on the first floor, which is A) undesirable according to the best real estate agents in any given suburban hellscape and B) impossible to deal with for a pussy who’s afraid of stairs.
(A White House spokesperson denies this occurred.)
Oh shut up, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, you don’t have the foggiest fucking idea what the Orange Dumbass said on the golf course.
Before we say more shitty things about Trump and his bad taste, his awful manners, and what we surmise are his astronomical outstanding credit card balances — because you know how new money always has to parade itself around in front of you like a dumb peacock — here are some Instagram posts from Pete Souza, Obama’s White House photographer, who is well-known for trolling the hell out of Trump, but in this case seems genuinely offended:
Oh, that second picture! Not only does it show Barack Obama BEING SEXXXY IN TRUMP’S NEW HOUSE, it shows Justin Trudeau, ALSO BEING SEXXXY.
We feel like Souza might be making a subtle point about which types of people are worthy of being in that White House residence and which ones aren’t, but we’re just …
Chelsea Clinton is not pleased:
The Washington Post reports that it’s unclear what the president is bitching about, since the White House staff gives him unlimited Diet Coke and TWO SCOOPS OF ICE CREAM (one scoop is for losers!), and moreover notes that the Trumps, like the Obamas and everyone before them, got to redecorate the residence at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue just the way they like it. Considering what Trump’s apartment in Trump Tower looks like, we imagine the residence looks like a sea of gold-plated cat smegma right now.
Oh well, there’s only one solution for this, and it’s for Trump to resign the presidency so he can spend more time in his ugly-ass properties. Yes, this means Mike Pence’s wife “Mother” will probably end up filling the residence with circa 1985 floral wallpaper and back issues of Country Living magazine, but that shit will be a lot easier for Kamala Harris or Kirsten Gillibrand to rip out in January of 2021.
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