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Morning Wonketariat! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today.

Trump personally dictated Little Donnie’s Russian adoption statement as Air Force One flew back from the G20, shortly after Trump’s secret dinner date with Putin. This raises all sorts of questions about that Trump Tower meeting Don Senior definitely didn’t attend last year. WOAH, if true!

Senate Republicans are done with healthcare and moving on to tax reform, but it looks like Sean Hannity didn’t get that memo.

Lindsey Graham and Bill Cassidy have their own healthcare plan that essentially gives desperate states some fancy band-aids with VCR instructions.

Obamacare keeps thwarting its naysayers and improving, but that isn’t stopping some Republicans from bitching about all the poor people who need health insurance.

Bernie Sanders introduced a bill to mandate federally funded R&D pharmaceutical companies to make their drugs available at fair prices, and even though it doesn’t have a catchy acronym, it’s intended to make things like the Zika vaccine affordable for all the icky poors in Southern states with the most extreme risks from mosquito-born viruses. Thanks Bernie!

The White House’s opioid commission has recommended declaring a state of emergency to address the opioid crisis, which is a pretty big damn deal considering the wide-ranging implications that would have in doctors’ offices around the country.

It looks like a staffer from a House Judiciary Rep. crowd-sourced amendments into an investigation into Hillary Clinton from the Donald Trump sub-reddit, a most wretched hive of scum and villany.

Trump was only joking when he told a room full of cops to beat suspects under arrest according to Sarah Huckabee Sanders, but that sounds like CYA considering POTUS is under criminal investigation for colluding with a foreign power.

An email troll fooled senior members of the White House staff as recently as this weekend, causing severe butthurt and highlighting the stupidity of Trump’s inner circle, as well as gaping holes in the White House’s IT security.

Mitch McConnell is going balls-out down South as the House Freedom crazies and other insurgent Republicans make a push for Jeff Sessions’s old Senate seat.

Now that Arizona Republican Sen. Jeff Flake’s poll numbers are in the shitter, he’s running super scared for reelection. Naturally, Flake wrote a thing blaming the miserable failure collectively know as the Republican party on the bone spurs of Donald Trump.

Conservatives are losing their shit about a former staffer for Debbie Wasserman-Schultz who was arrested for bank fraud, seeing as they have literally nothing better to do with their lives.

Another former EPA official is opening up about the state of the agency under Scott Pruitt, stating that she felt is was her “civic duty to explain the impact of this administration’s policies on public health and safety.” :(

A judge has ruled that a suit against two CIA psychologists who gave the go-ahead on torture can move forward, but the judge is urging both parties to “sit down and reach a reasonable conclusion.”

A US district judge will hear arguments in a case on Trump’s voter commission and whether or not it violates the Privacy Act of 1974, seeing as how is sure as hell seems like it’s a tool to slap down people who didn’t vote for Trump.

GOOD NEWS: A federal court has derided the bogus evidence used by the the FAA in the “Incredible Shrinking Airline Seat,” stating that it has allowed airlines to create potentially dangerous conditions in the most unfriendly skies.

Prosecutors are now facing legal and ethical conundrums when dealing with illegal immigrants as a conviction for minor offenses could easily expose them to deportation rather than simple jail sentences.

Federal judges won’t make North Carolina hold special elections before November 2018, but they are making the legislature submit new maps that don’t have all those racially gerrymandered districts by September.

Russia’s fiercest Putin critic, Alexei Navalny, faces an uphill battle in the Russian presidential elections; step one is just getting on the ballot.

Mike Pence has been given the hand job of making nice with NATO allies, and now he’s in Georgia (the country) just as Russia pushes its occupation force deeper into the country, further flexing what military power it has left.

The U.S. is imposing sanctions on Venezuela, declaring its elections a fraud as the country slips into dictatorship amid large protests, but those sanctions don’t even touch their oil industry. In other words, we’re sending them a mean letter letting them know how angry we are.

Poland’s Defense Minister seemed to defend Putin during a parliamentary debate, and that’s weird since he’s made a career out of exposing KGB/Russian spies. This has led people to suspect that he’s a double-agent, but then the story got weirder after Trump’s European vacation.

Either Captain Kirk has been infected with a brain parasite, or William Shatner is a huge asshole who’s ranting about social justice warriors, snowflakes, and misandry. Somebody needs a refresher course on Starfleet General Orders and Regulations. Hey, Shatner! GET A LIFE!

Alexandra Petri opines that things are getting biblical in Washington, and may Crom help the next person voted off the island.

Spicey popped up for just a moment to state his undying love for Mike Pence, and his hope that he’ll run in 2024.

Eric Trump went on Hannity to wonder why his dad has to carry so much weight for the GOP, and we’re positive that this is a sincere question, not a veiled fat joke.

Jeffrey Lord thinks there’s no way Prince Jared and Princess Ivanka would EVER leak to the Washington Post. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA

Jared Kushner pulled a bunch of Congressional interns aside and denied ALLEGED collusion with Russian operatives, stating, “we couldn’t even collude with our local offices.” Kushner spoke directly to the interns under the assumption that the meeting would leak to the press.

Corey Lewandowski has been “You’re Fired” from some half-assed “alt-right” network for his continued appearance on other cable news networks. Full stop.

Tomi Lahren wasn’t the only minor media moran being an ass at Politicon this weekend; Cenk Uygur and Ben Shapiro held a “debate” which devolved into a shouting match with frog fetishists.

Somebody dubbed Mike Cernovich over the giant turd from “Weird Science,” but we don’t really see any difference.

And here’s your late night wrap-up! Stephen Colbert sang a song for the Mooch; Jimmy Kimmel got a subscription to Trump junk; Seth Meyers took A Closer Look at “Reince Penis” and the chamber of leaks; The Daily Show pointed out that “retention deficit disorder” is the least of Trump’s problems; and James Corden had dogs in sunglasses.

And here’s your morning Nice Time! OTTER PUPS!

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  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
    • Gayer Than Thou

      AKA the Heaven Factory.

    • Weird Fishes

      That kind of makes me sad. All I can hear is Pink Floyd.

  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
  • Joe Beese

    You’re several decades late on this “Shatner An Asshole” story.

    • Sedagive ’em Hell

      Interesting to see that it’s getting this much press this late in the game. Treknerds everywhere could tell you that the man’s been a douchebag for decades. In some ways it’s his defining characteristic.

    • PubOption

      There was a story, back in 1999, that Shatner found his wife drowning or drowned in their pool, but didn’t try to get her out because he was afraid he would damage his wig.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      I knew he was, I just didn’t realise he’d gone balls-out on it.

    • John Thorstensen

      Picture yourself — in a boat! — on a river!

  • Nounverb911
  • Reximus
  • Vincent Ricola

    The House Judiciary committee crowd-sourcing reddit and, by natural extension, the channers for ideas on who to go after for their secret pizza sex slave lair slash scary old lady illness healing facility seems like a really professional and great idea. Whatever could wrong with this investigative model?

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Surely we here at the People’s Wonkette Collective could be a good source of ideas for investigating the Trump crime family. That is, if only we could comment.

      • Vincent Ricola

        Wonkette may need moar online LARPing for the LULZ and uncomfortable fanfic to really contribute to government investigations during the Trump era.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Russia’s fiercest Putin critic, Alexei Navalny, faces an uphill battle in the Russian presidential elections; step one is just getting on the ballot.

    Step one is not getting any polonium in the mail.

    • proudgrampa

      Step one is away from the balcony railing.

      • SnarkON

        Step one is keeping away from any stranger with a poison-tipped umbrella.

        • Ghenghis McCann

          That was Bulgaria. They’re in NATO now.

  • Nounverb911
  • SayItWithWookies

    “Mike Pence has been given the hand job of making nice with NATO allies…” Well that might keep him from having dinner alone with anybody regardless of gender, if Mother finds out.

  • Bernie Sanders introduced a bill to mandate federally funded R&D pharmaceutical companies to make their drugs available at fair prices, and even though it doesn’t have a catchy acronym, it’s intended to make things like the Zika vaccine affordable for all the icky poors in Southern states

    Exactly.

    What Zika skeeter in it’s right mind would want to drink the blood of a Southern Republican?
    http://i.imgur.com/Y8b8mWB.gif

    Getting real drunk on ignorance

  • Nothing about Democrats throwing Women’s Reproductive Rights under the fucking bus?

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I honestly don’t understand this move by the Democrats. Is there somehow a flood of otherwise viable anti-choice Democratic candidates whom we need to be courting?

      • I have been expecting it for awhile, since they went after Pelosi Hammer-and-Tongs.

        Fuck the Democrats. They are as much my enemy as the haters and Assholes in the GOP,.

        • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

          No they’re not.

          • Please. People here were ready to throw Queers and Women under the bus just last night. I can trust none.

            It’s the story of my life.

          • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

            Perfect is the enemy of good. Wind your clock back eight years and think how far basic human rights came under the last prez. Now think about what the current one is doing to undermine that progress.

            If you can’t see that, I’ll still vote Democratic on your behalf.

      • Vincent Ricola

        Dems are being trolled into ineffective stupidity and can’t stop themselves from falling for it at every opportunity.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          I mean, if there’s like one candidate somewhere who’s soft on reproductive rights (or LGBT rights, or whatever) who has a shot at a red seat, then I won’t lose my mind if the party sends that person some money. But I don’t see why we have to go looking for them.

          • Claire

            I think they’re believing all that stuff they hear on the internet about “My sister-in-law’s cousin totally would vote Dem in every single election but she’s pro-life so she has to vote Republican.”

          • Vincent Ricola

            Also known as “the way shit has always worked.”

            This is an unnecessary conversation that just pisses actual Dems off.

          • Gayer Than Thou

            Predictably, the media are allowing us to believe something slightly different than what Ben Ray Lujan said, which was more along the lines of the reality that in weakly red districts, viable Democratic candidates are likely to be more conservative. That is, without defending any apparent retrenchment on reproductive freedom, the media – of course – are keen to find a “both parties have internal dysfunction!” narrative.

          • HazooToo

            They’re going looking for them because they think that’s the way to win red states. Spoiler: It’s not.

      • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

        Yeah, count on that.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Howard Dean had this to say about that.
      “Dean to withhold support if DCCC funds candidates that oppose abortion rights.”
      https://www.democraticunderground.com/10029399823

    • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

      I am beside myself with rage at this. Stupid, stupid men. WTF, they think this is going to attract Republicans/Trump voters to our party? Those are tribal votes, and Democrats are never going to get them, no matter how much they pander.

      This here is why I NEVER give moneys to the DCC, DNC, or DLC. Only candidates get my hard-earned Ameros & my volunteer time. Maybe the MN DFL, but they don’t usually pander to the Right, and I appreciate that.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        I go to the Democratic Socialist of America meetings. The group here in Atlanta is growing.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Flake’s poll numbers are low in AZ because he’s one of those Republicans who appears to be vaguely human and have an infinitesimal sense of compassion. That makes him a target for the wingnuts, even though, in reality, he’s a far right conservative who is a reliable vote for Trump.

    • therblig

      he often confuses me. sometimes he sounds reasonable – that’s when i reach for my 2×4 and bring myself back to reality.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        The 2×4 would be put to better use across Flake’s head. With dimensional lumber votes, of course.

      • “M”

        You don’t even have to do that.

        Just look at his voting record.

  • Komsumverweigerer Ron

    Jeez, that is a LOT of derp for a Taco Tuesday morning…

  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    Somewhere, in another dimension, William Shatner has a beard, volunteers with Habitat for Humanity, and is a vocal supporter of Planned Parenthood.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific
  • Bill D. Burger

    Weird daze’ indeed! ___Yesterday, David Frum said he couldn’t understand why anyone would ever want to work for Trump because he had betrayed everyone with whom he had ever worked. Unless it’s a form of masochism, he opined that the kind of social and personal humiliation that’s inevitable in this White House should “… repel anyone with a shred of self worth, honor, or dignity” from going anywhere near the place.
    I wanted to say: “Oh David! The answer to your first question is clearly answered in your follow up.”
    I find myself agreeing with David Frum on occasion these days.
    http://68.media.tumblr.com/5d8d6836becfd998e43440dc56f3afbb/tumblr_oa68j8BTim1vt7gzvo2_500.gif

    • SnarkON

      They do it for the exposure. No, seriously — the people who work for Trump have no need to work. They are billionaires and hundred-millionaires. It doesn’t matter if they destroy their own reputations. They’ve already got it made.

      • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

        Scaramucci certainly got famous in a hurry. And that résumé:

        Worked at the White House. ☑

        • SnarkON

          Yeah but he also sold a company a few years ago for a scallion dollars.

        • SnarkON

          “Squillion,” not “scallion.”

  • Jeffery Campbell

    Maximum squee otters, but I’m not sure that pup is exploring as much as he is being pushed into that exploration. Moms, amirite?!

    • Claire

      “Nooooo mama it’s too early!”

  • Jeffery Campbell

    Russia’s fiercest Putin critic, Alexei Navalny, faces an uphill battle in the Russian presidential elections; step one is just getting on the ballot…and staying alive.

    FIFY.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • vivian

      Why is Natalie Portman angry?

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Didn’t win for Jackie, even though all the critics loved her.

  • OddMan

    Interesting little tidbit from the 202 this AM.
    — Maine Gov. Paul LePage (R) appears to be trying to kill Sen. Susan Collins’s (R-Me.) possible 2018 gubernatorial bid before she’s even announced if she’s running. Bangor Daily News’s Michael Shepherd reports: “The governor railed against the moderate Republican senator at a Saturday pig roast … in Canaan, where an attendee said LePage repeatedly mentioned working to defeat Collins if she runs for governor next year. …

    Hmmm.

    • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

      A Saturday pig roast in Canaan. They don’t write them like that anymore.

    • spangled

      paul lepage is the dumbest governor in the union – which is no small feat right now. i’d like to see collins get in an intellectual duel with him.

      • ViveLaResistance!

        My Dad in FL and I have often had the “Who’s governor is dumber” (the biggest joke, etc.) competition. Sadly, I’ve won by TKO.

        Maine – bipolar since 1958.

  • BigCSouthside

    So would Donny fuckstick have a nuanced enough understanding of Magnitsky to dictate that bouncing Russian babies shit if he had NOT been at that meeting?

    Also, fuck every single US airline. We bailed you motherfuckers out and your response is to turn your planes into torture chambers.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      The business plan for the industry is to make airplane travel so unendurably miserable that passengers will be forced to purchase “luxury” options simply to survive the trip. Use of the restroom, an actual seat, basic human dignity; these are all available for a price. I wish I was making this up.

      • SnarkON

        It’s the Invisible Hand of the Free Market smacking the shit out of us all.

      • Ms.Moon

        I hate flying so much every big vacation in the past few years has been a cruise. I love it. I get to the ship turn over my bags and I’m on vacation no problems.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        “For those of you who have purchased in-flight oxygen, our service will begin shortly after take off.”

        • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

          “For those of you who have not, enjoy your nap.”

          • Gayer Than Thou

            “You’ll find instructions for purchasing in-flight CPR in the seat pocket in front of you.”

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          “For those with with restroom-use privileges, please note your designated time slot. For the rest of you, a plastic grocery bag hamper is accessible at the stewardess station.”

        • fredoandme

          next up! screen windows!

        • Doug Langley

          Reminded of a MAD magazine bit many, many years ago. Tips for preventing hijackings. For example, lock every passenger in a bullet proof box.

          Stewardess: “Coffee, tea, or oxygen?”
          Passenger: “I gotta use the men’s room!!”

      • Lance Thrustwell

        When it comes to air travel, I have always thanked my lucky stars for being a man of, ahem, compact stature.

        • therblig

          ms. blig refers to me as “competitively sized”, which i think was an ad pitch for the 1970s-80s ford granada.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Fun sized?

      • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

        How much is mile high club?

        Asking for a friend.

      • Snopes Shop

        Yup. Nailed it.

      • SigDeFlyinMonky

        Duct tape and cargo nets.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        That’s RyanAir in a nutshell. Most people I know are making the bus vs car decision because air travel is so shitty. I like AMTRAK.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          I spent a couple of years on the northeast back in the day, riding the train a lot between Boston, NYC, and Baltimore. I LOVED the train…room in the seats, room to get up and move around. Unfortunately, living in AZ, it’s not much of an option anymore. I really have to think long and hard about boarding a plane these days. As a tall person, it is just physically excruciating, which in turn completely stresses me out mentally.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      As a person who is 18 feet tall, more or less, I really hate those tiny seats. And I never have enough green stamps to afford an upgrade to first class.

      • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

        Biz upgrade used to be 10k miles. Now it’s 50k. I don’t even bother anymore.

  • Komsumverweigerer Ron

    Let us hope that ‘tax reform’ goes as well as ‘health care reform’ has.

    • SnarkON

      Better, even.

    • BigCSouthside

      That shit will pass. Healthcare is far more tangible to the average cotizen than taxes.

      • therblig

        plus the gop framed the ACA as taking something away from americans, tax reform is about giving back*.

        * giving back enough to afford the jumbo barrel of pickles at walmart

        • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

          Ha fucking ha ha. I fooled them. I don’t have any writeoffs.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        But doesn’t “tax reform” have to go through whatever voting process it is that ultimately needs more votes than the bullshit process through which they were trying to do “healthcare reform”?

      • I don’t know about that. There are more pitfalls and powerful vested interests and lobbyists with $$$ here than healthcare. I keep hearing we’ll end up with a small ish tax cut.

    • Bill D. Burger
    • Nounverb911
      • Ghenghis McCann

        Is that Rowan Atkinson on the left?

  • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

    Senate Republicans are done with healthcare and moving on to tax reform, but it looks like Sean Hannity didn’t get that memo.

    Hannity hasn’t “gotten the memo” in 20 fucking years.

    • Vincent Ricola

      This is the reason why no one ever calls Hannity.

    • OrG

      Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Holy Mother of God what cock-up awaits us today?

  • Gayer Than Thou

    I (mostly) appreciated Sen. Flake’s thinky-piece about how the Republicans suck, even if it is a little bit too little, too late. But sorry, Jeff, I won’t vote for another Republican candidate even if that person is a combination of Mother Theresa, Cher, and a college wrestler.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Not that I ever really vote for Republicans, but you get my point.

    • beingreleased

      Seeing as he’s voted with Trump 95% of the time, he clearly supports Trump’s agenda even if he doesn’t like the messenger.

    • Sedagive ’em Hell

      I do appreciate his, er, apology for being the anti-Obama party, but it’s a bit like apologizing for burning down your barn after the horses have escaped, you’ve spent all your money rebuilding, and he still hasn’t put down the lighter and the gasoline.

      • Ωbjectifier

        It’s like apologizing for letting all those dogs die because you are too busy to fix the air conditioning.

        Fuck him.

    • Ωbjectifier

      With hindsight, it is clear that we all but ensured the rise of Donald Trump.
      I will let the liberals answer for their own sins in this regard. (There are many.)

      Really Jeff? Do tell.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Yeah, that was one of the parts where I was all “Girl, please.”
        https://media.giphy.com/media/zQbhdw5nf91wQ/giphy.gif

        • Lance Thrustwell

          That is an epic eyeroll.

      • MrTusks

        I would like to apologize on behalf of all liberals for allowing conservatives to cheat us out of the election.

      • Hollandaise

        “They made us do it by being too social justice-y! It’s not my fault I turned into a fascist – they won;t let me say the n-word!”

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Fear not; apart from possibly “aging Mormon college wrestler”, Flake is none of those things.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Unpossible.

  • Komsumverweigerer Ron

    CNN was crowing about the Dow Jones topping 20,000 and how they were going to celebrate even more ‘when’ it hit 22,000.
    Does anyone else have an uncomfortable sort of Black Tuesday feeling in their gut?

    • vivian

      Yyyyup. I pulled everything out of the market awhile back. Sooner or later, the shitshow in the WH is likely to trigger the long overdue correction.

      • Mary Theresa

        Same here.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        I have been saying this for a while, but haven’t taken my paltry sum of cash out of the market yet. Should I?

        • BrendaKay

          We are selling some as the market goes up so we’ll have cash (CDs) to tide us over when the bottom falls out… but if you can leave some in, you can ride it back up once things go back to (relatively) normal. Each time the market has cratered in the past, it’s hit a new high just a few years later.

          • I need to do this. I’ve been really postponing and I KNOW we’re going to correct and soon.

    • Bobathonic

      The thing is, the DJIA is manipulated to almost always increase.

    • BadKitty904

      See also: Gen. George A. Custer; Capt. Edward Smith of RMS Titanic; et al.

    • OutOfOrbit

      evry morning, sir. evry morning

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Oh, it’s a-comin’. The difference is, there’s so many companies and outstanding securities now that the market can lose, say, a quarter of its value and millions can go broke – all without completely tanking the behemoth U.S. economy.

    • Zyxomma

      I have no investments, but yes, I’ve had that feeling since it hit 19,000 or so.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Um, fuck you bitch, your “superior” and the horses y’all rode in on you fascist enabling harpy.

    http://crooksandliars.com/2017/07/conway-says-bend-knee-trump-because-hes

    • ¡Persister de la Résistance!

      She speaks fairly clearly with her mouth full. Half full.

    • Vincent Ricola

      “I said to him something that day I’m going to repeat now, to my colleagues in the White House,” she said. I’ll never address you by your first name and I don’t consider myself your peer and he said OK.”

      LOL. Just some totally normal and expected job interview conversation is all.

    • Bill D. Burger
    • Gayer Than Thou

      On the one hand, she’s weirdly into the pomp and dignity of the office of the President for her and all of the rest of use, and not at all concerned about it when it comes to the current officeholder’s actual behavior.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        It sort of baffles me about the people associated with this administration that they’re all so desperate to be seen as kkklassy and they don’t have any interest at all in figuring out how socially acceptable people behave and acting like that.

        • Ms.Moon

          Their type of klass is Kardassian klass spend money be obnoxious and show your behind. Everyone else understands, or learns there are ways in which you do things, speak to people certain protocols that should be observed, they understand none of this.

    • TJ Barke

      This is America, you crusty cunt, we don’t fucking bend the knee here. The North Remembers.

      • MynameisBlarney

        As does the Continental Army.

        • OutOfOrbit

          yeah but they still donut know how it turned out

    • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

      Oh, I remember when she was so damn “respectful” of the Congressional Black Caucus when they met with Donny 2-Scoops.
      Sittin’ on her bare feet on the couch, surfing her phone like a common high-schooler at a boring family reunion; to me, that telegraphed her disdain for the people in the room.

    • Doug Langley

      Oh, I won’t treat Prima Donnie as my peer, don’t you worry about that.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I cain’t wait for ole girl to get canned. *drinking tea*

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Saved! Stolen!

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Jesus, Dom, buy a girl a drink first. That’s a fuckton of news to even consider talking about this early on the morning.

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    Got coffees and still can’t deal with the Trump noise. Fuck him and the shitbags he rode in on. Corrupto extraordinaire. Heading to ND my 48th state. ……..

  • Carpe Vagenda

    The Shatner thing has been coming on for a while. He’s gotten in the middle of some bizarre tumblr-style ship war about two actors I’ve never heard of and he’s been tweet-feuding with the RPF* shippers for months. Then some MRA showed up in his timeline and explained to him that the term of art for “young woman on the internet who disagrees with you” is SJW, and he was off to the races.

    It’s sad. I was sort of hoping Denny Crane was a performance.

    *Real People Fiction, or those people who are convinced that the actors from Supernatural are totally boning.

    Anyway. Enjoy the viciously effective ad Dean Heller’s opponent is running.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYXMVpKxPPo&feature=youtu.be

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Yeah, Shatner’s a piece of work. I’m not sure exactly how Nimoy, who everyone agrees was a mensch, put up with him over the years (not just professionally, I read they were actually friends). Each to their own, I suppose.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        He seems to have some good qualities. He’s just remarkably petty.

      • nightmoth

        I read that they phoned each other some times, but weren’t really friends. Shatner didn’t go to the funeral, remember.

    • OrG

      Heller’s toast. Burnt toast.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        :)

    • Sedagive ’em Hell

      Woot.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      He’ll get primaried from the right anyhow. Problem in these red states is that it often doesn’t matter how fucking insane the GOP candidate is. Nevada is purplish-red and getting bluer every year, so maybe a win there for the Dems in 2018?

    • chortlingdingo

      Real people shipping is a massive squick for me. I can’t help feeling that fandom was a much nicer place to be in when we were all terrified of receiving cease-and-desist letters for violating copyright law.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Well, there was a certain amount of RPF back then too, if I recall :)

        But yeah, I tend to agree with you viscerally. I feel super uncomfortable objectifying people who actually exist (as opposed to the characters they play) and actually dragging those people in to that fantasy feels a little like molestation.

  • Blackest Noobs

    so as for the Shatner thing….there is this:

    ” you either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain”
    -Harvey Dent, Dark Knight

    though he is absolutely wrong about misandry but that is obvious since he is a crusty old white guy from a time when guys were guys even if they supported liberal views

  • Nounverb911
    • TJ Barke

      Boy, I wonder what their threshold for “small” business is… Probably making only a few dozen million a year, employing a couple hundred or a thousand people…

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Ew. I don’t want to see his briefs pressed on camera.

  • Nounverb911
  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Otters are terrible. They eat my salmon.

    • OrG

      They prolly think you eat THEIR salmon.

      • AJ Milne

        Somethin’ otter be done.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        And therein lies the problem: they don’t respect the motherfucker who sits at the top of the food chain.

        • Finnibar87

          They rarely do.

        • Ghenghis McCann

          Tyrannosaurus Rex?

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Do they drink your milkshake?

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Have they ever stepped on your blue suede shoes?

        • Bobathonic

          Do they mess around with Slim?

      • anon_the_great

        Salmon is the new Sonic milkshake flavor in Ballard

    • doggiedaddy

      What, no tossed salad?

  • jesuswasablack

    Let me get this straight, we are sanctioning Venezuela for a sham election that brought massive protests to the streets?
    http://i2.cdn.cnn.com/cnnnext/dam/assets/170121211838-28-womens-march-dc-exlarge-169.jpg

    • chortlingdingo

      Look, we’re… just not that self-aware.

  • BadKitty904
    • proudgrampa

      I ALWAYS read those magazines for the articles.

  • Duke

    Hey, Dominic!

    I can’t understand your list without bullets! Haven’t ya ever even seen PowerPoint?! I mean, you’re a kid and all but get with the later 20th century at least!

    Sheesh!

    • Erala Contratista

      Wish I could never have seen PowerPoint.

      • chortlingdingo

        A well-designed PowerPoint can be really useful, but unfortunately, most people don’t know how to design them well.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    In other words, we’re sending them a mean letter letting them know how angry we are.

    WE ARE NOT CANADIA

    • Opiwan

      Yeah, but Canada could also withhold Tim Horton’s from them, too… that’s harsh, eh?

  • WeaselPoo

    Via
    Raw Story:

    One of the most important congressional hearings yet in the Trump-Russia probe took place Wednesday, in the midst of one of President Donald Trump’s most chaotic weeks yet.

    Bill Browder — once the biggest portfolio investor in Russia but now a leading critic of Vladimir Putin — told the Senate Judiciary Committee how the Russian president needs to lift U.S. sanctions to deliver what he promised to corrupt oligarchs who support his rule, reported Huffington Post.

    Browder and his attorney, Sergei Magnitsky, blew the whistle on a scam by corrupt Russian officials to steal one of his companies and then illegally claimed back $230 million taxes he’d paid.

    U.S. imposed sanctions in 2012 against some Putin cronies
    involved in the attorney’s death, which a Russian attorney asked Donald Trump to lift in exchange for campaign assistance offered to his son and other top campaign officials.

    “Before the Magnitsky Act, Putin could guarantee them impunity and this system of illegal wealth accumulation worked smoothly,” Browder testified. “However, after the passage of the Magnitsky Act, Putin’s guarantee disappeared.”

    Putin himself has suffered great consequences under the
    Magnitsky Act, the hedge fund manager told lawmakers, because the Panama Papers show Putin received some of the money stolen from the scheme exposed by Magnitsky.

    “Based on the language of the Magnitsky Act, this would make
    Putin personally subject to Magnitsky sanctions,” Browder testified.

    “(Putin) keeps his money in the West and all of his money in the West is potentially exposed to asset freezes and confiscation,” Browder testified. “Therefore, he has a significant and very
    personal interest in finding a way to get rid of the Magnitsky sanctions.”

    My comment:

    The Trump Organization has been significantly financed by
    Russian money for the past 10 years or so.
    Trump owned properties have been bought by Russian’s way above market value and some construction projects involving Trump have also not made standard business sense.

    It seems likely that Trump has been laundering a lot of
    money for Putin and Putin’s buddies for years, and Trump has profited from such operations himself. Trump’s friendliness to Putin’s interests reflect Trump’s own principal interests, which are financial. The Magnitsky act appears to make Russian money laundering more difficult, in turn affecting Trump’s bottom line as he is significantly financed by Russian ‘investment’ because Trump’s shitty business record has turned off many potential American/Western investors.

    Trump’s tax returns should reveal significant Russian financed
    and brokered transactions. It would appear Trump has been laundering money, evading taxes, and would more recently be in violation of the Magnitsky sanctions.

    Everything else Trump does—trying to kill the ACA,
    bullshitting about jobs, ‘worrying’ about ‘voter fraud’, banning immigration of Muslims and building a border wall— are all just ego driven vendettas and elf aggrandizing projects.
    What really matters to Trump the most (apart from sycophancy and the joy of bullying) is money.
    Getting Russian help to win the White House was all about protecting and expanding his financial interests. His actions and words regarding Preet Bhara, Comey, Mueller and Sessions are all about protecting his Russian sourced finances and avoiding fraud, tax evasion and laundering charges ( and in so doing, he is exposing himself to obstruction of justice charges too).

    • Bobathonic

      Nice misspell: elf aggrandizement will bring this “administration” down.

      • TJ Barke

        He does have elf sized hands…

      • WeaselPoo

        lol!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Yup. This is why he’s his losing his mind over Mueller’s investigation of his finances. He will find some excuse to try to shut Mueller down, or at least try to keep him from following the money.
      This also explains his sudden interest in who he can pardon for what. I wonder if Pence will actually do it… the guy is a religious nutter, and (aside from abortion), you never know which sins a Christofascist will choose to ignore, and which they’ll choose to go on a crusade over.

  • MynameisBlarney

    The Kremlin’s Manchurian Candidate.

    This is not really new “News” is it.
    I mean, we kinda already knew, but I guess now it’s official, kinda?

    http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2016/10/veteran-spy-gave-fbi-info-alleging-russian-operation-cultivate-donald-trump/

  • mancityRed6

    Howard Kurz has an opinion piece on Fox that tries to distance tRump from the Republican party.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      This person needs to get their “thump” game on. You learn to thump a watermelon for ripeness and check the stump for softness by age 8 here in GA, rural or urban.

    • AJ Milne

      This is predictable.

      Cue the ‘he was registered Democrat/friend of the Clintons for years’ stuff… And never mind his wedges and style are the natural extension of the toxic nutbar GOP culture warrior game plan for decades now.

      Whatever, tho’, if it’s ground prep for impeachment. You tell yourselves that, I guess.

      • Augustus

        toxic nutbar, that’s very good

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Nicely symbolizes the GOP health “care” bill.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Coincidentally, also symbolizes how much I’m in touch with my feelings.

  • calliecallie

    Love how that mother otter keeps pushing the pup back into the pool Reminds me of summer swimming lessons. “You’re going to learn to swim, dammit, if I have to drag you into that pool myself.” And then at the end she has to haul his ass back into the house. LOL. Kids, amirite?

  • calliecallie

    I already had to change my Journey ringtone. Mr. Shatner, please don’t make me give up Star Trek Original Series too.

    Edit: Okay, I read the article. I’ll just give up on Shatner, and keep watching the show.

    • Canis Greyhame

      Jesus, I know! Couldn’t Grandpa Bill just have continued to be a vaguely sexist pig without going all redpill on us?

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Lance Thrustwell

      OH my god I’m glad I wasn’t drinking coffee when I read that. I would be cleaning off my monitor if I had.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Curses! Foiled again!

  • Nounverb911

    Chicago Cubs Give Steve Bartman World Series Ring!

    https://twitter.com/CarrieMuskat/status/892073510289408005

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Well that was sure nice of them.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      In appreciation for his not going to the WS games?

  • MynameisBlarney

    Shatner has always, ALWAYS been the kind of douche one could tolerate being around for a bit because he was funny and could mock himself.

    But if he goes MRA, then he can fuck right the fuck off with the rest of those candy-assed snowflakes.

    • SeeTrain65

      “That old question: Kirk vs. Picard, who would win? … Picard just won by default.”

      • MynameisBlarney

        Picard would mop the floor with Kirk.

        • SeeTrain65

          And has. Numerous times.

        • fredoandme

          pshaw. perhaps you disremember that kirk’s most important asset is his ability to take a lickin’ and keep on tickin’.

          picard’s is that he quotes dead authors.

          do your best!!

          • MynameisBlarney

            Ok, whatever, lol!
            Picard would out-strategerize Kirk WHILST quoting Shakespeare!

          • fredoandme

            yes. possibly. if he’s caught unawares, without spock there to calculate the odds. so many variables!

            “i was out saving the galaxy when your grandfather was in diapers.”

            i like the new….um….old…no…kirk anyway. another variable. damn.

      • Bec Jenn

        I always liked Picard better. Kind of felt Kirk was a douchey kind of character. As for the Shatner, well, didn’t he have long standing feuds with most of the cast because he was a pretty big douche?

        • Doug Langley

          Rumor was his nickname was “Shat”, and it wasn’t a term of endearment.

        • Catstro

          Particularly Uncle George and (I think) DeForest Kelly, but nobody but Nimoy could really stand him. I’ve heard nothing but bad things about Shatner’s personality, this isn’t surprising like, at all.

          Also, Patrick Stewart wins on the strength of his Twitter feed alone.

      • Catstro
        • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

          It was Picard for me, always Picard.

          • Catstro

            Me too, and not just because I think SirPatStew is a stone cold fox

      • Boscoe

        Context is important. Are you asking who I’d prefer as a real starship captain, or who is more entertaining when I’m wasted?

    • Erala Contratista

      Never thought he was funny.
      Got a mean looking face.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Let’s put it this way: Tim Allen made him look good.

      • fredoandme

        no. that’s jason nesmith as commander peter quincy taggart. no, ahem, resemblance what-so-ever!

        another variable.

        “commander taggart has saaaaaaaaaaaaved us!”

        wonderful movie, even though i am no longer speaking to tim allen.

        • nightmoth

          Galaxy Quest is my go-to, when I get really down.

          • fredoandme

            anything with the luminous alan rickman is pure gold. should be required viewing.

            “i see you managed to get your shirt off!

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/49be1995916224d95b81cab06259d978ec76214178413aaf9780ff410d077791.jpg

          • nightmoth

            “luminous Alan Rickman” Indeed! So sorry he died. I’ll see anything with him in it. And you’re right that GQ should be required viewing. Every single actor is hilarious in this wonderfully written movie.
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BN4x4apRrpY

          • fredoandme

            i’m gonna put it in the player right now while i fold laundry!

            “the show must go on!”
            “damn you!”

          • nightmoth

            “Well, forget it! I’m not doing it! This episode was badly written! Whoever wrote this episode should die!!”

          • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

            And Sigourney Weaver, and Tony Shalhoub, and Most Pyle…

          • fredoandme

            i don’t think there’s ever been a finer assemblage of actors in any film. rainn wilson. sam rockwell!!!

            maybe the magnificent ambersons. maybe.

            “there’s a red thingy moving toward for the green thingy….”

        • Boscoe

          I am still utterly floored by how incredible Sigourney looked as a blonde.

          • fredoandme

            i know that she was very impressed by how her breasts were made to look much more impressive than they really are. as part of the backstory, weaver decided that the actress gwen demarco was from vegas, a showgirl who still worried about her speaking ability.

            “this is the anti-ripley, because i decided to make her blond with huge
            breasts. I thought with a name like “tawny,” i should at least try to
            look tawny. I wanted to be the quintessential tv girl on the show,
            inspired by seeing countless babes on tv shows over the years. and
            realizing what a difficult part it is, actually, to play the babe. i
            mean, what if you’re cranky that day?” sigourney weaver

          • Boscoe

            And beyond teh bewbs, I’ve long noticed that some people do not look convincing with different hair color. Especially people who normally have very dark hair like Sigourney. I don’t know what all is involved, skin tone… facial geometry… whatever. For example, Jessica Alba does not look convincing as a blonde to me. She looks “good”, but not natural. She always looks like a brunette with a dye job. Sigourney looked really authentic as a blonde, which really surprised me. :)

          • fredoandme

            she has the lines for it, long, tall and patrician. and, you’re correct, skin tone.

            alba is of hispanic heritage. i have met some blond spaniards, but that’s not the same. is it?

            all along, i had the impression that the blond hair was part of the image she thought gwen demarco presented. it was a dye job, and intentionally so. during the scene on the phone with rickman, it’s also obvious that she straightens her hair. gwen demarco is an illusion….in one of the most perfect films ever!

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    After WaPo reported that Trump personally dictated Donnie Jr.’s misleading statement about the meeting he and Kushner and Manafort had with the Rooskis, the White House denied it, natch, as Fake News™. ABC News now says that two “senior-level sources” have confirmed the story.
    This “implicates the president directly in an attempt to mislead the public,” and “undercuts what the Trump legal team.” To which I have to say, “so what else is new?” Still, maybe the story will get some traction with his mouth-breathing base – their tolerance for being lied to seems to be wearing thin.
    Also, since this supposedly happened on Air Farce One on the trip back from Europe, the sources would have to be senior indeed. The leaks are coming from inside the plane!
    http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/note-plot-thickens-trump-crafting-sons-misleading-memo/story?id=48962972

  • Ghenghis McCann

    An email troll fooled senior members of the White House staff as recently as this weekend, causing severe butthurt and highlighting the stupidity of Trump’s inner circle, as well as gaping holes in the White House’s IT security.

    But isn’t Barron “good at the cyber”? Maybe he’s too busy trying to find out why his dad’s Twitter account goes batshit crazy in the wee small hours.

    • Boscoe

      To be fair, he’s only “good at the cyber” in comparison with the man who doesn’t use a computer and only has one app on his phone. By Trump standards, any kid who can plug in an Xbox is a computer engineer. Context is everything…

  • nightmoth

    1) I liked that thing Jeff Flake wrote very much indeed. “It was we conservatives who were largely silent when the most egregious and sustained attacks on Obama’s legitimacy were leveled by marginal figures who would later be embraced and legitimized by far too many of us. … To carry on in the spring of 2017 as if what was happening was anything approaching normalcy required a determined suspension of critical faculties.”
    2) I’ve long thought William Shatner was an asshole. Remember he and Nimoy were NOT friends. Also, I’ve wondered if that drowned wife of his was pushed.

    • Doug Langley

      Which reminds me: Shatner guest starred on Columbo as the murderer. Twice.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    “My father said it, you know, he said it a couple of weeks ago in a tweet. He said, you know, ‘Am I going to have to carry this whole weight on my shoulders? When are some of the people in my own party going to start protecting me?’” Eric Trump said. “Now listen, I’m an outsider, I am looking in on the White House. … But I want somebody to start fighting (for) him.”

    https://youtu.be/ZAAKPJEq1Ew

    • WeaselPoo

      Eric, you are a stupid boy.

      • fredoandme

        well. just LOOK at him!

    • Boscoe

      Wait… “for” wasn’t included in Eric’s original statement and had to be added after? So Freudian, those trumps…

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    There was not a word about Daddy doing Donnie J’s homework on NPR this morning. What gives?

    • Augustus

      Kochs ruined NPR

    • MynameisBlarney

      They’re too busy interviewing republicans about anything else.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Nice Polite Republicans don’t like to talk about dirty things like collusion, treason, and impeachment.

      • fredoandme

        they’d best leave that to us.

        i’m glad to help there.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      They had another story whoa if true: Donnie Dumpster himself approved a fake news story in coordination with Fox News to further torment this family, all to distract from the Russia investigation. He is beyond despicable
      http://www.npr.org/2017/08/01/540783715/lawsuit-alleges-fox-news-and-trump-supporter-created-fake-news-story

      • That was most interesting.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Too many other shiny objects/squirrels (or shiny squirrels) to chase after. Trump can’t help it, and neither can they.

  • eyelashviper

    Political cartoonists in an uproar, demand that the WH SLOW DA FUK DOWN…

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DGJTCBfUIAAVEGr.jpg

  • Bozilingus

    If you haven’t seen last night’s Chris Hayes Thing 1/ Thing 2 about Maxine Waters, you are in for a treat. Make sure to watch all of that segment and be ready to enjoy some inspirational music at the end (about 1:55 of the segment).

  • William
    • nightmoth

      Oh, lord. This makes me sorry that “retarded” is no longer an acceptable term.

    • “Stop being mean to the world’s most cuddliest despot!” –Jill Stein

    • phoenix00

      Handling with those tiny tiny hands….

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    I try not to repeat posts but this week This Modern World bears repeating https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/25d613bb0abb48c4db4ffd31335d614c71838df4b63c75730561d66d8ddf6e80.png

  • La forza del resistino

    Q:What’s the difference between Donald and an otter teaching their kids to keep their heads above water?
    A: One is adorable

    • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

      One is a competent parent who teaches their children self reliance and not to suck on the tit their entire lives?

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    Let’s hope the GOP is as competent at tax reform as they were with health care. I’m sure the have lobbyists lined up with bills for them to present.

    • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

      No, they’ll be presenting them checks.

  • Canis Greyhame

    Zapp Brannigan’s William Shatner’s Guide to Making Love at a Woman
    https://youtu.be/LywY26WVUvw

  • Bitter Scribe

    I have a great idea. I’ll set Google Alert to notify me of any violent crimes committed by persons with Latino-sounding names, then aggregate these stories into a website called “Crimes by Illegals” (or something–suggestions welcome). If I can’t find enough stories about crimes by actual undocumented immigrants, I’ll just say “Is so-and-so in this country legally?” because everyone knows that you don’t have to prove it if you make it a question. Then I’ll sell ads to vendors of gold coins, questionable cures for colon problems and erectile dysfunction, flashlights that can supposedly stop a grizzly bear, etc.

    The only thing is, I’ll have to get rid of my soul first. Anyone know an easy way to do that?

    • M.E. Lawrence

      Aw, that’s all right. You don’t have a soul. No one has a soul. But you might have to get rid of your conscience.

  • SisterArtemis

    Hi kids, or at least Pacific Northwest Wonkers, you have heard about the Drinky Thing on August 12th, right? The meetup is in Lebanon, Oregon (east of I-5 near Albany) at a private residence, therefore the details are not being posted on Disqus. If you want more info, reply here and I’ll get back to you.

  • Boscoe

    So…. Donald Trump is merely a classless incompetent imbecile with no sense of propriety or acceptable behavior, NOT an advocate for police brutality, then. Whew, I feel SO much better now.

    • SisterArtemis

      I think we all do, Boscoe. Breathe easy—-
      oops, wrong president. *sigh*

    • Hardly Ideal

      I was gonna say, “he’s just joking” is fucking weak as a defense. Sad, even.

  • andyshelt

    The White House announces it will be temporarily closed while a new staff entrance is installed for Trump appointees.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLeCaolvXj0

  • Boscoe

    I always knew Shatner wasn’t a REAL Canadian…

  • Khavrinen

    the judge is urging both parties to “sit down and reach a reasonable conclusion.”

    Yeah, that sounds like what a pair of “psychologists” who thought torture was just hunky-dory are probably going to do. Uh-huh, sure.

  • Khavrinen

    Russia’s fiercest Putin critic, Alexei Navalny, faces an uphill battle in the Russian presidential elections; step one is just getting on the ballot.

    Step two being, of course, make it to the election without having an “accident”.

    • Oh come on. Navalny shouldn’t be ashamed if he has a bladder problem

  • Khavrinen

    Kushner spoke directly to the interns under the assumption that the meeting would leak to the press.

    Are you trying to imply that he’s not as dumb as he looks?
    Whoa it true.

  • Longstreet63

    Opiod addiction is a serious problem, but I’m a bit leery of the conjunction of “State of emergency” with an administration of lawbreaking crypto-fascists.
    It has bad precedents.
    And “It Can’t Happen Here” now happens every Tuesday before breakfast.

  • SprinklemagicResistancebuns

    “Russia’s fiercest Putin critic, Alexei Navalny, faces an uphill battle in the Russian presidential elections; step one is just getting on the ballot.” I’m sure this was said before, but his second step is to not get force fed “tea”.

  • bookish

    Mama sure knows how to rassel that little one. I think that’s an Auntie Maxine patented move.

  • javadavis

    The thumbnail ‘US imposes sanctions on Venezuela…” over election fraud and, BTW, leaving oil alone broke my irony meter. I’ll be off line for the foreseeable future, trying to get it fixed. Seems to be a long line at the irony meter repair outlet. Hmm.

    • Ernestinarvictor

      Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !at287d:
      On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
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