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ANACORTES, WASHINGTON, COME ON DOWN!

Orcas Island, San Juan Island, Lopez Island, all the other islands, get on the ferry and come and join a murder of wonkers (like a murder of crows, not like this guy) for a Friday evening, Aug. 4, revelry of drinking and eating and babies and niceness! We are pretty sure this park is right next to the ferry depot, maybe! Bellingham, you guys can even take a bus! Seattle, you are probably too far, we will see you next time, unless you are CRAZY MADLY DEEPLY dying to see us, which we understand, as we are pretty and rad.

Washington Park right by the boat launch seems like a nice place for us to gather and barbecue meats and tofus (if you want tofus, you bring the tofus). Bring something to share, like something from your garden, or maybe pot! We’ll have plates and utensils and condiments and meats and probably a watermelon salad, like we do. Let us say 6 to 8 p.m. but we’ll definitely probably be there until at least 9 for latecomers (someone always comes late, you are a tardy lot).

OK, tell your friends and neighbors, and we will see you then unless we see you first!

Also, this is your OPEN THREAD.

Also also Shy wants me to warn you that starting sometime tonight we will be HIDING YOUR COMMENTS behind some STUPID BUTTON because Google says all our posts are too long for “news,” because there are comments on the page and they’re too dumb to be able to tell one from the other, Jesus, Google, pathetic. Anyway, you’ll figure it out.

The Wonkette Wonkebago (as well as, you know, salaries and whatnot) is gassed up and brought to your town by READERS LIKE YOU. Kick in for gas, grass or ass, won’t you please!

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  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    i first read that as “eating babies.”

  • Carpe Vagenda
  • Mr. Blobfish

    Boy. You guys have all the fun.

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      Jinx!

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos
    • TJ Barke

      No, he really isn’t a great American. Not remotely, as he supports you.

    • jowgajen

      But that’s the Sec of Homeland Security …. uh.

      • puredog

        He’ll be like Jared and do ALL the jerbz!

    • Richard Jokes

      Hope it felt good while it lasted Rience. May you never hold another office, and never forget the feeling of spending your last six months of your career throwing it all away to polish this snivelling embarrassment’s grundle.

    • Jgb979

      1. Firing through twitter- only the classiest bigliest firings

      2. Wasn’t reince supposed to be his Republican doctrine handler? Isn’t this the point where they realize he’s a dangerously incompetent lunatic and turn on him? Or does none of that matter

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i had forgotten that. Wasn’t Rinsed Pubis put in there to appease mainstream Republicans and hopefully keep trump from doing something crazy?

        No, we’ve just got Jared and Ivanka for that.
        /s

        • Richard Jokes

          Yeah, I’m waiting to see the GOP reaction. Not sure if it’ll be anything, Priebus was totally impotent at reigning Trump in after all.

  • jowgajen
  • TJ Barke

    Eating babies! You monsters!

  • Carpe Vagenda
  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos
    • alpacapunchbowl

      The people I share an office with and I almost got in trouble for cracking up at this.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        ; )

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Wait I have to click a button to see comments (if they were allowed).

    THIS IS TOO MUCH TO ASK OF ME!

    • puredog

      What about “late in the evening” when button-stabbing is unpossible? WHAT’LL I DO?

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        I’ll BE THEN BY DRUNK!

        • puredog

          WE’LL!

    • Ill-Advised

      Wonkette broke teh googlez with disqus?

      This isn’t news, it isn’t even comments! How is this possible?

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Wait a minute, Buster. Wasn’t Mooch gonna be C of S? He names Kelly?

    • puredog

      It may be that the auto-fellator whispered into Drumpf’s ear that the useful idiot Mooch would not last in such a position.

    • La forza del resistino

      Ivanka sez her brand does not cater to that much greasy.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      My question is whether Kelly knew about this before the tweet.

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    So, what fucking nazi is going to head DHS now?

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Does DHS have to be confirmed?

      • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

        I think so. Kelly and Mattis were the non-controversial appointments that got the old rubber stamp

    • La forza del resistino

      that nasty TSA lady tearing your carry on zippers to shreds?

    • FlownΩver

      Rudi. Just you wait and see.

  • La forza del resistino

    Reince is out and goes back home to WI to get a job at the Foxconn assembly line.

    • puredog

      (three years later) “But Scott said they’d be building the factory RIGHT HERE!”

    • simplejmalarkey

      O my. Came to pass, & I saw it on Wonkers not-allowed comments first. My pittance each month is worth it. Good luck to shitweasel getting a new Homeland Sec thru anytime soon.

    • FlownΩver

      More time to suck his own Priebus.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    All of a sudden, all the traffic helicopters are over my house. Very annoying. Must be a bad accident at the Lincoln Tunnel. Or I’m living in the end of Goodfellas.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      one of the best 10 minutes or so in film history.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Oh, interesting. I’m between the Fishkill base and Manhattan, so we generally get a lot of helicopters when things are getting interesting, but not so much.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      it’s not trump coming from LI (it is Friday after all)…or is that the wrong direction?

    • tomamitai
      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        thanks! I will watch this any time.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Remember when Obama’s press secretary quit cause he hired a wannabee goomba that hated his C of S, who was then fired and replaced with Obama’s head of DHS?

    No?

    • Nockular cavity

      MAGA!

  • Jgb979

    So um….

    This is the fastest flame out in history for a White House staffer. After that tony Montana at the end of scarface interview

    http://pagesix.com/2017/07/28/anthony-scaramuccis-wife-files-for-divorce/

    • Carpe Vagenda

      You know what’s real interesting about that? It’s in the NYP. That nice Mr. Murdoch and the boys must be good and truly pissed off about their man Reince.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Doesn’t Mike Flynn count?

      • “M”

        Lock him up.

      • FlownΩver

        Only to ten, Mutthead.

  • CindyinEncinitas

    What button? Is this math? They said there would be no math. Is this going to be on the final?

  • ALERT ALERT TRUMP HAS YOU’RE FIRED RANCE PRIEBUS https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-politics/wp/2017/07/28/white-house-chief-of-staff-reince-priebus-will-be-replaced-by-homeland-security-secretary-john-f-kelly-trump-says/?utm_term=.3c071ba9d9c5 What’s the over under on Jefferson Beauregard Roscoe P. Butterbeans Sessions III getting sacked during the recess?

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      I was really hoping Pres Bannon would pick him to marry.

    • Amy!

      Ten gets you a thousand that the GOP won’t even object much when the Dems in the Senate insist on gaveling in and out for a minute daily for the whole recess. It’s how they prevented Obama recess appointments, and Grassley’s already pretty pissed.

  • Crystalclear12

    Reince Priebus:
    Free at last!
    Where’s Mueller?

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      hopefully that’s what Reince is asking people right now.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    As a smoker, not sure how I feel about this:

    The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) on Friday announced a large-scale, multiyear plan to address the public health impact of tobacco. Namely, the agency will enforce regulations to limit the amount of nicotine in cigarettes to non-addictive levels.

    • Jonny On Maui

      You should feel great! You’ll have to take more of what you’re addicted to to get the same effect. The government can be a fantastic pusher sometimes.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i was thinking that too…this is hwat happened with “lights” – people just smoked more to get the same effect.

        Yay! Smoking will cost me even more $$ I don’t have.

        • Jonny On Maui

          You could always quit. I tried many times. Hypnosis and nicotine patches, the kind you could cut up and make smaller, finally did the trick. I quit in 1999. Getting my sense of taste back was amazing.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      They should either make cigarettes illegal or make pot legal- no picking winners and losers, right conservatives?

    • msanthropesmr

      IT is never about risk abatement with FDA and the US in general. It is always about punishing addicts.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        They should take all that tobacco farmer welfare and use it to fund free smoking cessation programs

        • msanthropesmr

          I use snus. Which according to several large scale studies by the BMJ does not increase oral cancer rates. And decreases smoking substantially. But in the US, we ignore those data, and lump it in with loose chewing tobacco.

  • Nockular cavity

    I knew it! I knew it! THEY’RE COMING TO MURDER OUR COMMENTS!

    • Crystalclear12

      What comments?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        they’re dead, Jim

  • Baconzgood

    New chief of staff at W.H.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸
      • jowgajen

        That is a thing of beauty.

        “the irate conservative dwarf”

        “believed to have concocted dozens of right-leaning schemes since assuming the form of a human male”

        “conjured by ancient druids from fire and untaxed business profits”

        “oily elfin deceiver”

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    buh bye, Rinsed Penis

    you definitely deserved it

    • Beautiful Soup

      Trump’s backstabbery is one of his best features.

  • Michael R

    Misty water-colored mem’ries
    …………………….of the way we were

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2541484734cdd8b7139c108bba0a69d6110fb8e4c5933bd35a90c932449ae205.gif

    • Nockular cavity

      Trying to suck someone else’s cock for a change.

    • Joe Beese

      That’s Melania’s move!

    • Edith Prickly

      MOOOOOM, Steve touched me again!!

  • WiscoJoe

    Can someone please let Reince Priebus know that Wisconsin doesn’t want him back?

    I hear Illinois is lovely this time of year.

    • YetAnotherRebecca

      You shut your mouth! We don’t want him down here either

      (Meant with all love possible to your lovely and delicious state and its people)

    • alpacapunchbowl

      This born and bred Wisconsinite who has now been a FIB for years would like to say “HELL. NO.”

      • WiscoJoe

        Typical FIB.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Don’t make me tailgate you!
          (I’m kidding, I can’t stand tailgaters)

          • WiscoJoe

            The only tailgating we allow up here in Wisconsin involves a crowded parking lot, an unhealthy quantity of bratwursts and severe alcoholism.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            That I’m down with.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        what is an FIB?

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Fuckin’
          Illinois
          Bastard

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            ahhhhh….

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Yo, Illinois here. We think he’d fit right in in Indiana (motto: Indiana- Because it’s in the way!)

      • YetAnotherRebecca

        Now there is an idea I can get behind!

      • alpacapunchbowl

        He really would be a perfect fit in Indiana.

      • FlownΩver

        Kansas votes for Missouri!

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    How you gonna hide something that doesn’t exist? Hmmmmmmmmm? You won’t trick us that easily. We may be tardy, but we’re also, too smarty.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I don’t feel tardy.

      • puredog

        Me, I feel featheredy.

      • msanthropesmr

        I brought my PENCIL

        • Three Finger Salute

          GIMME SOMETHIN TA WRITE ON!

      • Yr. Gma

        I feel tardy,
        Oh so tardy.
        I feel tardy and lazy and LATE.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        Hehehe

  • mark kunnecke

    Two years ago I was still leaving up in Everett, WA within shouting distance of Anacortes.
    Now I’m stuck in Western KY, right in the heart of Trumpland. Damn I wish I was back in Washington.

  • TJ Barke

    I hope Rancid Prepuce cusses Donnie out on his way out. He won’t, but I hope he does.

    • Yr. Gma

      I hope he went straight home and started on his tell-all book. Or called Mueller and offered to turn states evidence.

  • A Groucho Marxist

    Am I the only one that thinks this Scaramucci has been hired as a reality show sideshow freak to distract from Trump’s real issues with maybe some light treason? Could anyone be dumb enough to call a reporter and say the shit that Scaramucci did without some covert motive?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Maybe? He’s pretty famous for playing lets you and him fight, and his hires are none too stable.

    • Michael R

      I can’t comprehend any other reason for it ,
      when I asked this questions someone else replied

      ” To paraphrase an old quote, don’t ascribe to evil
      that which can be explained by incompetence. ”

      and that comment got ALL OF THE UPVOTES ( 7 to 1 )

      • A Groucho Marxist

        Oh yeah, Hanlon’s Razor. I love that quote, but I’m not buying it with this fucking guy.

    • Covfefe
    • puredog

      That’s “covfefe motive,” puh-leese.

  • WiscoJoe

    So, did Reince know what was happening before the President tweeted it? Did anyone know? Is this really something we now have to seriously ponder? FFS. WTF. FML.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Odds are Kellyanne did, or she wouldn’t have been shitting on him on TV.

      • WiscoJoe

        Same with Scare-me-moocher and Banjob and the other Trump loyalists who are probably sitting around thinking that they’re somehow safe from the same humiliation.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          The real fireworks start when he decides Jared has caused too much trouble and Ivanka has to decide which will she wants to stay in.

          • WiscoJoe

            I can’t wait for the tweet announcing that Tiffany is his new adviser. “So proud to announce whatsername that other one is new adviser. The best daughter I have. Smart! Just like her mother, the one that wasn’t foreign.”

          • Opalescent Riddles

            Coming to theaters near you, “Vankie’s Choice.”

        • tomamitai

          Anyone who takes a job in this administration has to be into humiliation.

          • WiscoJoe

            It’s just a gaggle of pee hookers.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            or really fucking dumb (not that those things are mutually exclusive)

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        that handwriting has been on the wall for weeks- the guy has probably had his desk cleaned out since before the fourth of July

        • puredog

          So does this make Rinse Cain, or Abel? I was too busy surfing my phone for porn during Sunday school. . . .

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Ismael! Joseph! Job!

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      CNN is saying he “resigned quietly” last night.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    ‘Member when I said “Rebecca, you should have a drinky thing in Europe for all your European friends” and you said “Naw mang, I ain’t got no boat” but then I found out you have a boat?

  • Joe Beese

    Reince Priebus… a dream too beautiful to last…

    • BloviateMe

      Profiles in scourge.

      • puredog

        Profiles in scourage.

  • Crystalclear12

    OK, this is yet another bad Trump idea.
    Most Washington insiders considered Priebus Trump’s handler.
    Now that the beast has slipped his leash how long before they put him down?

    • Fartknocker

      He still has Jared. In Jared’s spare time of bringing peace to the Middle East, streamlining government, selling citizenship and condos at $1 million a piece to foreign millionaires, and checking his SF-86 form for inaccuracies, Jared will be on scene to help MAGA. Except on days of the Sabbath.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Ohhhh, more Friday surprises!!

    • puredog

      3 – 2 – 1 – . . . .
      Do I have time to make popcorn?

      • Crystalclear12

        Microwave, yes.
        Traditional, no.

    • Yr. Gma

      Lets’ hope this accelerates things so the Republicans decide sooner rather than later that Donnie has got to go. (More trouble than he’s worth and all that.)

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Except President Pence…

        • Yr. Gma

          One problem at a time.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    oh look, Louie Gohmer is butthurt too:

    “TX Congressman Louis Gohmert told Fox Business Network that Senators lied about repealing the ACA, and he singled out John McCain

    “I pray for Senator McCain, for his health, his full recovery from the cancer but it doesn’t give him the right to make people suffer more under the current ACA,” Gohmert said.

    • jesterpunk

      “They should have the decency to die quietly in the gutter instead”

      Gohment continued.

  • Swampay

    Doggone it! Wonkette, you’ve done it again. Friday the 4th I’m going to be at the Mt Baker Blues festival. You’re right in my neighborhood and I’m gonna have to miss it.

    • puredog

      I’ll be at the Annual Flatcoat Daze in Concrete, Wa. So near, and yet so far.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Why Kelly? I mean, keep up the good work, Trump, but maybe hire someone who can navigate around Congress and get stuff done? Proceed, Mr. President.

    • yyyaz

      Hate having another goddam general in charge of an ostensibly civilian agency…

      • jowgajen

        He’s at least more qualified for this job than Sec of HS, seeing how he has 0 law enforcement experience.

        • Bobathonic

          I expect he’ll be getting a lot of experience in fetching a coke.

      • puredog

        Camo is the new black.

    • DainBramage

      The most important thing to Trump is finding another sycophant to fluff his nutter.

    • Sheepshagger

      Well a competent person would tell me things I didn’t want to hear.

    • puredog

      The less “stuff” that gets “done” the better I like it. Kelly can call in fire on Congress; that might work.

  • JMP

    Google, you suck. What, are news reports supposed to be limited to a single paragraph? Most people don’t have the attention span of a Trump.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Rawstory does this as well. You have to click their button, and then wait for it to contact Disqus and then load the comments.

  • Joe Beese

    Well, let’s face it, we didn’t want a paranoid schizophrenic advising the President.

    • “M”

      PARANOIAC

  • Indiepalin

    With Chris Christie moving to DHS, the wall will finally become a reality, with corporate sponsorships by companies like KFC and Taco Bell.

    • “M”

      Damn.

      Is that confirmed?

  • Nockular cavity

    Can the Wonkette Navy (pictured above) take us there?

  • Pinkham’s Law
  • Mr. Blobfish

    Trump loves a man in uniform.

  • La forza del resistino

    The last time I was invited to an island affair, I ended up with a volleyball friend named Wilson
    – Tom H.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      last island I was invited to, they voted me off…

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Kelly was probably the last person to tell trump is doing a very, very great job.

    • Reximus

      Ok Kelly, you’re the new Chief of Stuff

  • Reximus
  • Ω cynmac will never surrender
  • GreenGoldSharpie

    I heard Trump cut loose his pubes and Moochy is getting served with divorce papers.

    • Anna Rompage

      Yep, and Bannon is still somewhere in the white house, sucking his own dick…

      • GreenGoldSharpie

        I would pay to see many men do this act.

        Jabba the Racist is not one of them.

  • sgt. jmk of the résistance

    Reince has been rinsed!

  • msanthropesmr

    SO was the goal of this administration to have enough people leave that they can be the cast of a reality show?

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      The reality show is the administration.

      Reince wasn’t meeting the numbers so we’re going with another general.

  • memzilla Ω

    ♪♫ I’m gonna Reince that man right out of my hair… ♪♫

  • AppleJackie

    HAPPY FRIDAY! So much winning with Mooch’s wife giving him the heave-ho and Reince being handed walking papers.

  • WIDTAP

    Bannon is next, followed by Sessions when the heat dies down.

    • Anna Rompage

      I don’t think Sessions will get fired, mostly because it would add to the obstruction charge…

      • AppleJackie

        He is all but guaranteed to be fired. Never underestimate the dumpster fire that is the Trump administration.

      • jowgajen

        I was thinking Bannon is safe and Sessions is a goner.

      • WIDTAP

        Your right on the obstruction charge damage, but I honestly don’t think the idiot cares. Every dumb-ass thing he does is a badge of honor to himself.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        It’s inevitable. Sooner or later he will have to, screw the consequences

        • Bobathonic

          Is “the consequences” his nickname for Ivanka? Because I think that’s done.

    • Yr. Gma

      I think Donnie might be afraid to fire Bannon. That guy knows where the bodies are buried and where Donnie keeps the shovel.

  • Three Finger Salute

    This is from the NY Compost, so take with a heaping Tony Montana-sized pile of salt.

    Why these Canadians would take Trump over Trudeau

    (emphasis added)

    Although they love their country deeply, they are worried about its
    movement to the left. Interestingly, they admire the direction of the United States under President Trump. … As a result of Trump’s policies, asylum-seekers of African and Middle Eastern origin are flooding into Canada, and our friends in the north aren’t entirely happy about it. According to the most recent Reuters/Ipsos opinion poll released in March, 48 percent of Canadians support the deportation of these illegal border crossers.

    This must be the Ford Nation part of Ontario, where the denizens don’t want those gross Africans and Muslims polluting their Great White North. If it was Swedes coming over to Canada I’m sure they’d have no problem with it and would be very polite indeed. Certainly the French would have no problem blending into Quebec either. The pied noirs, on the other hand, would be told unequivocally to go fuddle-duddle.

    So nice of America-first Archie Bunker’s favorite paper to actually do some homework about the Canadian multi-party system too. “Only” 42 percent is nowhere near as abysmal as it would be in the U.S. The other parties — NDP, Greens, Bloc, and yes, even the Tories — have a share of the percentage too. He’s actually up from the 39.5% that elected him in 2015, which saw the Liberals get a whopping 184/338 seats (from a previous 34), one of the most astounding comebacks for the Grits (if not any Canadian political party) practically since confederation. Wikipedia lists it as close to 450% improvement from 2011, prior to Trudeaumania II.

    The NY Compost is ignorant, and these Trump-loving Canadians would be very soory if it was a Trump/Harper or Trump/Scheer partnership instead. Strangely, they “really liked” Pierre — who was arguably further to the left than his son, and welcomed in the Vietnamese boat people — but don’t like Justin because the people he’s welcoming in are browner and mostly Muslim? Do they not realize that the current year isn’t 1975?

    • Suse
      • WIDTAP

        Oh I so want Al Pacino to do a Tony Montana version of Scaramouche on SNL!

      • Three Finger Salute

        My mother found out about Mooch’s vulgar interview. She said that Canada needs to invade the country so they can teach Americans — and in particular this administration — how to be nice.

        Apparently not all of them are, at least according to the above article (and the hideous bigotry of the Crapper cons), but Justin was a schoolteacher, so I think he could figure out a way to wrangle a bunch of ill-mannered, foul-mouthed brats…

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Mmm-hmmm. And they also realize that US citizens aren’t required to disclose advocacy spending from outside the country.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      This is why Canuckistan should have legalized herb before meth, instead of reversa-vice.

      • Three Finger Salute

        They should be putting that stuff in the poutine and pumping it out of smoke stacks. With any luck, some of that purple smog would travel over the air and past the 49th.

    • Yr. Gma

      Nothing new. There are Canadian wingnuts, too. Some of the most racist things I ever heard came from the mouth of an English Canadian relative of mine while talking about a French Canadian who got a job the relative had wanted.

      • tomamitai

        Are they round and taste like ham?

    • PubOption

      I used to live in GM Nation, Ontario (otherwise known as Oshawa).

  • sgt. jmk of the résistance
    • La forza del resistino

      If at 90+ I can dish the burn like Betty, I will say it was a life well led. Luv ya Ms. White.

    • commatoes

      Direct burn containing a possible pun

      Betty F*cking White https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f02221b0e8701d2f612a777703889c7f7dcd5a610370f4263b84c5d8b268833c.jpg

      Also because Comedy Central, in their infinite wisdom, decided to cancel this well written and innovative show. I foresee a deficit of dick jokes that CC will have trouble making up with other shows.

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        I know… I was utterly confounded that they’ve cancelled @midnight.

        I’m not having a good TV month – they cancelled this AND Downward Dog, which was adorable.

  • Jonny On Maui

    Okay. Open thread. Anyone want to bet we’ve got another article on RP coming up soon?

  • Ryan Denniston
  • Fartknocker

    It will be fun to watch Spicey and Rinse Prius on Dancing With the Stars this fall. I would name them the White House Has Beens, but that’s weak and sad, just like Dampnut. Hopefully Kelly Ann will show up in her Betsy Ross 4th of July DQ Patriotic Blizzard dress.

  • Indiepalin

    It is being reported that is Kelly will be replaced at DHS by Rick Perry. Ben Carson will take over the Department of Energy, Betsy DeVos will move to HUD, Ryan Zinke will then head up the Dept. of Education and Reince Priebus will take over the Dept. of the Interior. These changes are expected to last until at least Monday.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      But. It depends where everyone is when the music stops.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    I like Anacortes. I’ll not be able to get to the Thingie, but hoo wow, a great spot.

  • memzilla Ω

    So obvious anagram Reince Priebus got fired by tweet?
    STAY CLASSY, DONNIE!

    • Steve Cole

      Hope Mrs. Newt notices.

    • PubOption

      Brine Epicures?

  • Edith Prickly
  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Sorry, Becks, It’s Trump o’clock in the news biz. Gonna need that Bye Bye Love post for Reincy.

  • WiscoJoe

    So Pres. Dump went with Kelly just so he can point at someone as “his general” when it’s convenient? Like, Scarabmookie is in charge and Kelly will just sit there in his uniform and do a little military dance whenever Dump snaps his fingers? Either that or he’s really taking the “war time white house” thing way too seriously.

  • Crystalclear12

    So, it’s official, they wait until Wonkette has posted their open thread then the drop the news bombs.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      yup, like within MINUTES.

      • puredog

        Oh, it’s only a coincidence [glances nervously over shoulder, exit, chased by bear][maybe it’s just because I watched The Revenant last night].

    • Beanz&Berryz

      They to make us non-commenters have to type it here our own damn selves.

    • Wonkette needs to continuously post from now on. It’s the only thing that will keep Trump from going nuclear.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Nah. The writers and editors deserve some time off. We’ve got this.

        • You are willing to let Dok and Rebecca sleep and allow this country to start a nuclear war?

          Well, I say “Good day sir.”

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Hey, That’s “Good day ma’am”. That’s all.

  • Who needs homeland security anyway?

    • Anna Rompage

      Especially now that the wall is kaput…

    • Someone needs to keep the Muslims out of the country.

  • DainBramage
    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Is this a new drumpfster fire, an additional drumpfster fire, or the same ole drumpfster fire.

      • DainBramage

        Yes.

        • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

          They’re stacking up. One might even say it’s drumfsterfires all the way down.

      • WIDTAP

        why not both?

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
  • Ryan Denniston

    You know what will turn things around. How about another crack at health care? Right? Cancel the August recess, hammer things out!

  • Rice Penis Reince Priebus has been fired. Apparently because he is not flexible enough to suck his own dick. We are now fully in Trump’s world, with no adults left in control.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Even in the room.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      The circling of the wagons will only hasten the end

      • Nockular cavity

        It’s a black hole-like spiraling inwards of wagons.

        It’s wagons all the way down.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      He ran into the Trump Conumdrum. Your job is to make Trump look good at all times, except that’s not possible, becacuse Trump is constantly stepping on his own tiny dick.

    • puredog

      That’s a very fluid definition of “adult” you’ve got there.

    • capnkrunch

      Was Pubis an adult?

  • Michael R
    • Ryan Denniston

      He leak that by any chance?

      • puredog

        “WHO LEAKED THAT? IMMA FIRE HIM!”
        — Mooch

  • memzilla Ω
  • Anna Rompage

    Donad appointed Gen John Kelly as chief of staff, with hopes that he will run the White House how he ran Gitmo, with the White House staff playing the role of the prisoners…

  • Jeffocaster in the West
  • In other news, I have found all of my miniatures for the Sudan that were damaged in the move.

    2 regiments of metal Cavalry – British Hussars – and a regiment of Royal Marines. 30 cavalry, and 25 infantry. It’s a lot of metal, but they can be repaired and finished. :)

    • Bobathonic

      Do you ever cast your own figures?

      I can recall playing with my uncles’ tin soldiers. They were beautiful, hollow, and Scots. And not respected nearly enough. Probably about 54mm size. Another precious lost to time, like those Lionel trains.

      • I have not, I know of a couple of companies that sell molds and such though.

        Were those tin soldiers Britians? Top notch toy soldiers, they make every conceivable period.

        • Bobathonic

          I have no idea. I played with them in probably late 60s, they would have had them maybe mid-late 50s. In the absolute most general terms, they looked somewhat like these guys

          http://members.upnaway.com/~obees/soldiers/black.jpg

          But the memory fades, and I can’t swear to any livery. Definitely kilted piper, black horses, green bases, marching soldiers with long guns, and that narrows it down not one whit.

          I used to do casting with my father, but I used those guys for paratroopers (I had a silk flare parachute). I still have the crucible, a set of WWII molds for Merkins and one for Chermans, and a mold for Buck Rogers. Also, when I bought the crucible, they sent me a mold for a knight. Sorry, I do go on.

  • Suttree

    Another drinky-thing is appropriate to happen next week. Lizzie is up in central New York today looking for an apartment, for the new job she just got, that starts that next Monday. I cannot move right now because of healthcare. I have too much shit to take care of, that I have no money for. Thank goodness for Medicaid though. I just wish it was national instead of willy-nilly by state.

    *For any new people, I met Lizzie at a drinky thing about a year and a half ago.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      You two lovebirds can make this work.

      • Suttree

        I know. I’m just starting to go through the shock of it. Hopefully she will be home late tonight/early tomorrow, and I can help her pack and clean. Deposits are important!

  • WiscoJoe
  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Can’t not be petty little bitches
    https://twitter.com/kenvogel/status/891042267905105920

    • Suttree

      “He’s off to a weekend of golfing and pee hookers. BTW you’re fired.”
      *tape plays in background of Turnip on The Apprentice

      -fin

    • puredog

      It’s kinda just like the time the press all went out to Andrews to see the arrival of JFK’s body and Jackie in the bloodstained pink Chanel. I mean, kinda; just not entirely.

    • Nockular cavity

      I’m surprised that they didn’t just dump his body out on the tarmac.

  • Major_Major_Major

    SIRENS Key correction to the news announcements!!!!! White House announces that do to a shared vision, Donny Two Scoops has shaken the West Wing hierarchy by making Kelly the Chief of Staff instead of establishment wing Preibus. However, it was earlier reported incorrectly that it was current DHS John Kelly. It has since been revealed that the Chief of Staff will, in fact, be R Kelly. https://youtu.be/Dr95SQT_P_4

    • alpacapunchbowl

      They do have similar interests.

  • Edith Prickly

    So does Reince leaving mean that establishment Republicans are rinsing their hands of Trump? I’m assuming he quit before Trump twitter-fired him.

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      There aren’t any senior members left.

  • I am not a highfalutin Wonket ‘editor’ but somehow I have a notion that this won’t be the last post of the Friday evening.

  • Blackest Noobs

    rumour mill:

    Priebus fired and Donnie did it via Twitter.

  • Scooby

    Scaramuccis wife files for divorce.

  • Vincent Ricola

    Paul Ryan’s coming for you like a shark that smells blood, Twitler. You think you’re just gonna announce on social media that you dumped his best friend and started dating some other guy with no repercussions. You’re toast buddy.

    Impeechments time is a-comin’.

  • Anna Rompage

    And in other news Jeff Session was seen recently in Nicaragua, seeing if he could get asylum presume….

    • Three Finger Salute

      Former home of Noriega? FAKE NEWS!

    • Covfefe

      JeffBo wants asylum, he can just go back to Alabama, or go to Texas even.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        sorry, we don’t have any vacancies for racist old lawyers.

        • Covfefe

          If you can take Theodore Rafael Cruz, you can take JeffBo. I don’t want to hear any complaints.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            hey Ted’s grandfathered in. We took him BEFORE we knew he was awful.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Is Assmouth gonna blow through the entire bullpen in the first inning, or do you think he’s saving up some really blazing arm to do the closing in innings 2 through 9? And since he only hires from within his own circle of predators and family, when will he be making his first appointment of a Russian?

  • Jennifer R

    Rince says he quit quietly yesterday. Hahhaa. And mooch’s wife cites his “naked political ambition” and her hatred of donnie for the divorce.

    • Fartknocker

      She seems really nice.

    • Yr. Gma

      Hey, Gpa would be pushing up daisies if he told me he was going to work for the orange asshole. (Gpa is not that stupid.)

    • AppleJackie

      I love that the Mooch’s divorce announcement came via Page Six. Typical Wall Street trash. Amazing.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        It was on raw story and the hill too. Same wordage. Copy pasta?

    • Three Finger Salute

      Naked ambition? Another Carlos Danger in the works here?

  • Michael R
    • Dick St. Dipshit

      Mommy!

    • msanthropesmr

      WHo is that man in the picture?

      • Michael R

        No one knows

    • Anna Rompage

      It’s okay, at least you can curl up with mother this evening when you go to bed…

      • Three Finger Salute

        “I get to sleep in mummy’s bed,
        Mummy’s bed, mummy’s bed!
        My feet are next to mummy’s head!
        Tra-la-la-la-la!”

    • Blackest Noobs

      hey maybe Trump will fire Mike too…..nah….he needs Mike for the dumbfuck Christian vote.

    • SDGeoff3

      What happened to Jeebus? He resigned too?

  • msanthropesmr
  • Covfefe

    How are we ever going to privatize social security if we can’t even repeal and replace Obamacare?

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenResistance

    Unflattering tweet from DPRK News seen as an escalation of tensions between Kim Jong Un and U.S. dictator. https://twitter.com/DPRK_News/status/891043492146892800

    • Ryan Denniston

      Seems on point. Maybe we can negotiate?

      • SDGeoff3

        You stole my very words! You betcha we can negotiate!

    • DrBigHead

      They have a better use of the English language than the current president.

      • IdiokraticDrumpfenResistance

        They are all graduates of UCLA.

  • Baconzgood
    • msanthropesmr

      Chien!

  • Relativicus

    Friday after 4pm is when you’re supposed to drop news you’re hoping nobody will notice. There goes ol’ Donnie Swampdrainer, creating new paradigms left and right and shit.

    • SDGeoff3

      Oh, but Rachel has taught us! Pay attention on Fridays

      • Relativicus

        That was in Olden Times. Today, Friday News Dump seems to be the equivalent of poking your nose out the screen door to see what that noise is, and your neighbor hits you in the face with a pie.

  • Blackest Noobs

    so Spicy and Peebus is gone.

    who is next???? place your bets, place your bets.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Bannon’s got to be drenched in gross nervous sweat right about now.

      • Ryan Denniston

        Also too whisky secretions.

      • Blackest Noobs

        i would like to think so..but i still think the Donald’s got a soft spot for Stevie..i mean without Bannon, there wouldn’t be a President Trump.
        Bannon made Trump.

        and not saying Trump isn’t disloyal as shit cuz he is…but he may actually have some feelings for Bannon…manly man love feelings.

        • Vincent Ricola

          True. But we’re now living in a post-Mooch cocksucker world and Trump has no loyalty. It could go either way, really.

        • DrBigHead

          There is no way he gives anyone credit for anything, including Bannon. He will blame other for his failures, but any success is his alone.

      • SDGeoff3

        And stinky.

    • Beautiful Soup

      Jelf Sessions.

      • Blackest Noobs

        Donald would LOVE, i mean LOVE to fire Sessions but his lawyers are all like DO NOT FUCKING DO IT…and TRump is like I am gonna fire Sessions, and they’re like Don’t…and they keep going until the Donald passes out..which is usually within five minutes…and then the cycle repeats.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Preznit Bannon. Anyone appearing in SNL last year.

    • Yr. Gma

      Melon?

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • Zippy W Pinhead

      He’s an old school, no neck asshole

    • WiscoJoe

      Aw, that’s cute! Six months ago they were all saying the same thing about Reince.

      (Hint to Washington insiders: It’s not them, it’s the man in charge.)

  • La forza del resistino

    With Kelly moving, Donald searches for a new secretary and asks Don Draper should he go with Megan or Allison.

  • msanthropesmr

    OH HEY Wonkers in Central Virginia
    We are having a party on August 26th
    Send an email to a burner address with subject line of what animal is grinding in the background of a Sarah Pain video to
    summerparty@maildrop.cc to get an invite

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Well, Reince set a record. Shortest tenure by a Chief of Staff.

  • Reximus
  • puredog

    God, I love the Wonketariat on a Friday afternoon. I mean, for a bunch of unemployed day-drinking losers, they can still bring it, y’knowmsaying?

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i now feel a little bit better about myself as I am unemployed and day drinking and feeling bad about it.

      • puredog

        Own it! You are large! You contain multitudes!

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      How nice that you could join us.

      • puredog

        Well, it’s all projection, except that I’m not TOTALLY unemployed. And my initial comment was made with love. Email tone thing, I get it. Or, put otherwise: I seem nice.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          IKR, my tone also. Sometimes I go all Miss Manners

          • puredog

            Judith? Is that you?

          • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

            I was going to say, that’s retired, day drinking loser to you, sir.

          • puredog

            God, I love the Wonketariat on a Friday afternoon. I mean, for a bunch
            of unemployed day-drinking losers, ̶t̶h̶e̶y̶ we can still bring it,
            y’knowmsaying?
            There, FTFM.

          • msanthropesmr

            GET YOUR FUCKING ELBOWS OFF THE TABLE

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Who says we’re (all) unemployed?

    • Three Finger Salute

      I’m unemployed, but don’t drink because my family’s certifiable and has for generations only exacerbated it with drinking. (The “certifiable”-ness is why I’m unemployed, too.) Right now my vice is, itself, Wonkette. Which I guess means it’s sort of a meta-vice.

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Beautiful Soup

      Figures. Comey is the only one trump actually fired, yes?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Nah, Bharara too, yes?

        • Zippy W Pinhead

        • Beautiful Soup

          Oh right and that nice lady…

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Sally Yates.

          • Beautiful Soup

            Thank you! I was too lazy to open another tab and Google it.

          • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

            I have to keep a tab open for Google whenever I read here at the Wonkette because I know not movies or teevee or any other cultural references due to my reclusive nature and not having cable for more than a decade, and I don’t remember books I’ve read so swell.

    • What a Loathsome creature Mooch is.

    • puredog

      Your family, I think of and pray for, but you? Fuck you, Mooch.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Meh. Fuck that shit, scumbag.

  • Zippy W Pinhead
  • Michael R

    Normally North Korea firing missiles would be big news today .

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      IKR?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      leave it to the boy king to upstage his only good news of the week

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Time for some celebratory day drinking! One of the worst cops I have ever seen — a violent, dishonest, roided-up piece of shit — resigned about an hour ago. His resignation letter cited “attacks” by “vicious defense lawyers” as one of the primary reasons. He does not mention the prosecutor having to dump a burglary case because of multiple lies he told under oath, the pair of current § 1983 actions naming him, a footnote in a District Court decision scolding him for hiding evidence, or his testimony during a misdemeanor trial being stricken as non-responsive (thus leading to a dismissal.)

    • yyyaz

      Erik Prince is offering him a recruitment bonus as we speak.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Maybe he’s taking the job at DHS. I hadn’t considered that.

    • Fartknocker

      So he’s a Brady cop. Some jurisdiction will hire him but he’ll be designated as a Brady disclosure and his testimony will be treated as tainted. He’ll make a fine French fry souse chef.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        I am happy to say that the beginning of the end for him was when a couple colleagues and I finally got our hands on his employment and training records from Georgia. It took a couple years to get there, but when we started confronting him with perjured inconsistent testimony from his past, the game done changed. I’ve never been so pleased to be part of ruining someone’s career.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Good for you!

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      little miracles.

    • shivaskeeper

      Very good.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Can we see a picture of you in your spiked collar, you vicious creature you?
      BTW one less mean lying cop is a win.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        One of the vicious fiends in question hasn’t heard yet because she is on a hike with her Brownie troop.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          There we go. A group shot of vicious fiend defense attorneys

        • CindyinEncinitas

          Teaching them her spells and incantations, no doubt.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    So, either he really hasn’t been hiring the best people, or he’s throwing anybody he can find under the bus to deflect from his own treason and incompetence. Or both.
    https://twitter.com/ZekeJMiller/status/891047708366184448

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      The machine is “well oiled” by the quantity of greaseballs that pass through it, perhaps?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        The tree of liberty, getting well oiled.

  • yyyaz

    What with wifey dumping his greasy ass, no wonder Moochy is so obsessed with self-fellation.

    • Michael R

      The same thing happened to Ike Turner

    • Reximus

      Mooch wants a BJ where Bill got one, for his book

  • Thiazin Red

    So is new chief of staff guy who Trump keeps referring to when he says “my generals”?

  • Ryan Denniston

    Was this US manufacturing week, or was that last week? It’s so hard to keep it straight.

    • Beautiful Soup

      Shark week. It’s still going on!

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Every week is shark week under this administration.

    • Michael R

      Look at all the jobs Trump created
      ( as he fires everyone )

    • WomanInThePersistence

      According to the daily spam I get from the White House, it’s “American Heroes Week”. Enjoy!

      “President Trump Recognizes Heroic First Responders
      Yesterday, President Donald Trump awarded the Public Safety Medal of Valor to two Capitol Police Special Agents and three Alexandria Police Officers who exhibited extraordinary valor as the first responders, to the Alexandria, Virginia, baseball field shooting on June 14, 2017. The President expressed deep gratitude for the heroic efforts of the first responders as well as prayers for the victims.
      Watch the event

      Vice President Pence Swears in the U.S. Ambassador to Japan
      Yesterday, Vice President Pence swore in the new U.S. Ambassador to Japan, Bill Hagerty.
      Watch the Ceremony

      President Trump Donates Presidential Salary to Department of Education
      This quarter, President Trump will be donating his salary to the Department of Education. Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos thanked the President, “The President is committed to our Nation’s students and to reforming education in America so that every child, no matter their ZIP code, has access to a high-quality education.”
      Read more”

      I got this fine piece of utter bullshit this morning. What’s fascinating is all the stuff it doesn’t mention.

      • Suttree

        That $100k is going to make all the fucking difference! It’s not like we could possibly fund public schools normally. Fucking shitheel.

      • jesterpunk

        So he gives a medal to the lesbian police officer and Sessions takes away her rights and protections. Sounds like a great way to support the police.

    • Suttree

      Apparently it is “beat a suspect” who has not been convicted yet week.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      This week was American Heroes week. Which kicked off with Donnie Two Scoops trying to fire soldiers and ended with him suggesting police give suspects the Gene Hunt treatment.

      • Ryan Denniston

        I was hoping for a reprise of how he doesn’t like captured servicemen like that traitor John McCain.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    Co-worker just told me that the Mooch’s wife filed for divorce TODAY.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I keep thinking about the reports that Trump doesn’t drink alcohol. Has anyone considered what he would be like if he did, and he got drunk? What might he do, fire Congress in 435 Tweets? What about the nuclear codes! Doesn’t bear thinking of…

    • WiscoJoe

      Honestly, he’d probably be a nicer guy over all. Have a glass of wine, enjoy life, take some honest to god pleasure in something besides the misery of others. Make America Relax Again.

      • puredog

        Cannabinol FTW. Donnie would almost certainly be a mean fucking drunk.

        • WiscoJoe

          I’d be worried about the paranoia for Trump. Also, he’s the kind of guy who already gets overly excited upon discovering Frederick Douglass late in life. Can you imagine if he was stoned? He’d start freaking out out about some late night infomercial he saw and how it like totally connects to what’s going on in North Korea and how the media has been lying to him the entire time and people have no idea what’s really going on with this shamwow guy but it totally is sign that something’s going on if you think about it man.

          On the other hand, you could probably get him stoned, get him to watch the Schoolhouse Rocks DVD box set, and he might actually learn something about the basic functions of government.

          • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

            North Korea, not cool with those missels. Chill man.

          • tomamitai

            Plus looking at his own hands would really freak him out.

          • Shanzgood

            Or his hair.

          • WiscoJoe

            Or his dick.

          • Shanzgood

            He’d have to find it first.

          • WiscoJoe

            “Uh, hi, yeah, is this the FBI? Yeah, I know it’s 3 AM. Yeah, this is the President. Stop laughing! This is the President. I need you to investigate something for me. Weirdest phenomenon. My hands are attached to my body but they’re too small to be my hands. Have you ever looked at your own hands? So weird! I need someone on this right away. Call in the big dogs. We need to get to the bottom of this. Also, send over a pepperoni pizza, a raspberry Snapple, and some rolling papers.”

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Just turn him on to Party Legends or Desus and Mero. They’re about his speed and it’ll keep him busy forever trying to learn how to imitate them.

          • AJ Milne

            It freaks _everyone_ out. High or no.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        It’s possible, but I doubt it. Most people lose their inhibitions when they get drunk, and I would hate to see him with fewer inhibitions than he has when he’s sober.

    • SDGeoff3

      Remember how we had Dry Drunk Dubya? He stopped the drinking but not the hangovers. Add hooch to the Trump mixture, and we’ll be invading Nova Scotia before dawn.

    • Suttree

      I have found that people on uppers (illicit or prescribed) are very unpredictable and paranoid. Drunkards at least go to sleep every once in a while.

    • puredog

      I have considered what it would be like if Donnie drank, and have decided to thank Dog for small favors.

    • jesterpunk

      If he did drink then Trump wine and vodka might not have failed.

  • Reximus

    Putin is killing himself laughing

    • Beautiful Soup

      So if there were a pee tape, would this week’s constant “winning” make putin more or less likely to deploy it?

      • Reximus

        he’s saving THAT

        • mancityRed6

          sanctions, possibly?

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          That’s the last episode of Trump Reality Teevee.Theyll build it up bigly first and sell advertising at Super Bowl rates.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    In addition to not being able to be there, a few things to ponder: that salt water there at the park certainly isn’t Puget Sound, its probably more Rosario Strait than anything else, or consider dropping all the 18th century nautical name ass-kissing and just call it all the Salish Sea. And, please, for the love of God, that’s not the ocean.

    Have fun Wonkets!!

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Bring mosquito repellent?

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Usually not needed in that area, but there could be a skeeter pond in someone’s backyard.

      • Shanzgood

        Banana slug repellent is what you need.

  • Ryan Denniston

    I will admit this is all very exciting. What happens next. Does Trump fire Sessions? Will the Senate go on recess? Does North Korea nuke Trump Tower? Tune in next week!

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      What’s missing is where characters like Sessions, Bannon, and Preibus can talk to the camera alone. “He’s such a cuck…” “What a drama queen…”

  • hendenburg2

    From last night:

    “Don’t you know tomorrow is Take Your Kitty to Work Day?”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/09622601c52da8edf67dab86ad9975b4a07b0576541c02bd80997556490e7870.jpg

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      And don’t let some Republican lecher grab it!

    • msanthropesmr

      Every day is take your kitty to work day

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I did that once. I worked at a library and they were reading a book about a black cat to the preschool reading group, so I took my very laid-back black cat to work to show to the kids. They loved him, he loved them, and many hugs and kisses were exchanged. The parents were not too happy, because when they came to pick the kids up, they were all demanding that mom and dad get them a kitty.

      • DainBramage

        Every kid should have a kitty to teach them humility.

        • SDGeoff3

          Well, Trump has made a lifetime of grabbing them, and so far it hasn’t taken very well.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        There’s always somebody with cat allergies….

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          which always infuriates me about dog owners that take their dogs everywhere, including fucking planes.

          The dander and little hairs just get me all kinds of itchy. (My epidermis is a snowflake).

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I’m with you, but not because I have allergies. Most dogs smell bad and bark and insist on introducing themselves by smelling your crotch while the owners just stand there making jokes about it, and they don’t seem to care where they pee. Now that I’ve said that, dogs remind me of some men I dated in my early 20’s.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            lol, yup – smelly, interested in crotches, and peeing anywhere.

            I can’t disagree with you there.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Hey!

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            come on, that was a man joke! Be mad at Angela.

            ; )

    • SDGeoff3

      Don’t you just melt when they do that?

      • hendenburg2

        Well, I did not, in fact, bring her with me, so… not enough?

        • SDGeoff3

          Ask her.

    • Blackest Noobs

      if only…mine would freak the fuck out.

  • Carpe Vagenda
  • Carpe Vagenda

    Somewhere, we can have nice things. Not on this planet, but.

    https://twitter.com/NASA/status/891052112578199552

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Thanks. I needed something nice.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      dear god, just looking at that gives makes me dizzy.

      I think I would make the absolute WORST astronaut of any human on earth.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        The most valuable thing I learned in college is that you can’t fall off the floor.

        I don’t think I would do well in an environment where that’s not useful knowledge.

      • Half of people will vomit in Microgravity, like Fred Haise in Apollo 13

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          i think i’d just have one long freak out, from getting in the suit to climbing out of hte return pod.

      • tomamitai

        The ISS tour video they have on Youtube made me feel claustrophobic.

      • Serai 1

        You’d love freefall.

  • Truck Fump

    I haz sadz. No more Rinsed Penis to kick around. :(

    • SDGeoff3

      Try Craigslist.

  • Maclare 🍹

    Is the McConnell/Chao divorce papers rumor confirmed?

    I’ve got a friend that works for Dept of Transport. Talked to them last month, and they said that everyone there is just trying to keep their head down, do their job and not get fired.

    I was thinking of them last night, when I saw Turtle getting his ass handed to him. I was hoping that Chao would not take it out on underlings.

    Little did I know….

    • Bobathonic

      I am in a nearby subagency, and never heard that, but I want it to be true. Not for your friend, but for Yertle’s sake.

      • Maclare 🍹

        I can’t find anything, so I think that rumor got confused with the Mooch divorce.

        That WOULD be too big a coincidence…

        You keep your head down too, Bob!

        • Bobathonic

          Mum’s the word, but I can tell you, Trump’s an unpopular person where I work.

  • Ryan Denniston
    • Three Finger Salute

      Co-starring Diane Chambers as Alice in a Wonderland Without Sam Malone.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Oh geeze, this admin is such a deep pool of awfulness, I forgot about this little Kelly anecdote:

    After being presented with a ceremonial saber by a graduating cadet as a token of the academy’s appreciation, Trump sat back down next to Kelly, at which point, microphones on stage picked up Kelly joking to Trump, suggesting to “use that on the press, sir.”

    Mr. Trump chuckled at the remark, replying, “yeah, that’s right.”

    http://www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/dhs-sec-kelly-jokes-to-trump-to-use-saber-on-press-at-graduation/

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      and THAT’s why they like each other so much.

    • jesterpunk

      Surprised they didnt make him communications director or press secretary.

  • Ωbjectifier

    Dammit, I was just in Friday Harbor a few weeks ago!

  • WiscoJoe

    Serious question: Does Pres. Dump know, or care, what the Chief of Staff does?

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Wears a feathered headdress at the pow wow?

    • WIDTAP

      Sure, provide 1000% loyalty to the President, if the President’s name is Trump. Why do you ask?

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Agrees with everything he says, laughs at his jokes, savagely ridicules everyone he can in front of the Predisnent and finds his toys for him when they roll under the sofa.

      • WiscoJoe

        Then takes the blame when nothing gets done, when they can’t coordinate legislation with Congress, and when White House staff aren’t effective.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          So, basically, it’s a job that is nasty, poor, brutish and short, but the reunions are going to be epic!

    • Rick Hill

      They told him it’s the same as having his own concierge.

  • La forza del resistino

    Donald has lost more WH staff since the cholera and pneumonia outbreak of 1841 in W.H. Harrison’s time.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • eyelashviper

      Why not Jarvanka?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        or Jim?

    • hendenburg2

      TTW “Clerks” turned out to be prophetic

    • Maclare 🍹

      HEY-YO!

  • SDGeoff3

    This is going from soap opera to Grand Opera.

    • Three Finger Salute

      “Scaramouche, Scaramouche, can you do the fandango?

      …Bob Mueller has a cell put aside for meeeeee…”

      • SDGeoff3

        Wonderful!

  • WiscoJoe

    Deep thought for the day: If Fandango.com were to ask the White House Communications Director for an interview, would it result in a massive sing-along?

    • WiscoJoe

      If the wife of the White House Communications Director asked him to order movie tickets online, would she get so annoyed by the joke that she’d file for divorce?

      • mancityRed6

        the better question is, would he get it?
        or would he get it before she left?

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Oh, damn, I just realized.

    Poor Rebecca. This is the mother of all evening story dumps.

  • La forza del resistino

    Uh, Mr President, Mr Mooch is getting impatient about that promised new parking spot reassignment.

  • Three Finger Salute

    Now there’s an investment opportunity we can get behind.

    High Times Magazine is gearing up for an IPO

    But will it be trading at ticker symbol WEED?

    • mancityRed6

      420

      • Three Finger Salute

        LEAF

        Wait, that’s High Times Canada.

  • mancityRed6

    so last night, I had a dream that I had a bitchin’ BMX bike or something like that. riding it around a multi story parking garage. and then I figured out that my backpack had a video camera in it. so cool. so I turned it on and rode down the stairs and did some other fun stuff.
    then the blizzard started. and I was trying to get home. bike was gone, forgotten. wind whipped the snow horizontally. that’s when I saw the first bear. polar bear, really. but there was a brown bear, too. no, they seemed pretty cool with each other.
    I tried to go around a truck, but it was parked front bumper to front bumper with the car next to it. could not pass.
    so I found a stick, and waved it menacingly. it worked. the one bear I could still see put it’s head on the ground and covered it’s neck with it’s paws. then, when I hit the stick on the ground, it broke, leaving me with nothing but what was in my hands.
    it’s head perked back up.
    that’s when I saw the two black standard poodles coming my way.
    and then I woke up.

    • SDGeoff3

      This was not a result of artisinal cocktails served in a Mason jar, was it?

      • mancityRed6

        maybe a little tequila? plus cheezits, pepperoni, peanuts, and then some grapes after.
        no, you don’t want to know how everything but the grapes was in one bowl.

        • Shanzgood

          Weren’t the cheezits mushy from the tequila?

          • mancityRed6

            ok, I deserve that.
            generally, I drink my tequila.
            from a glass or a mug or the bottle. not a bowl.
            clarifying.

        • SDGeoff3

          Oh I do. I do.

          • mancityRed6

            it was a dark and stormy night…

          • SDGeoff3

            “The night was dark…”

          • mancityRed6

            “the night was sultry…”

          • SDGeoff3

            Ooooo!!

    • Major_Major_Major

      Someone got fed after midnight, eh?

      • mancityRed6

        hell no, I was in bed by 8, asleep before the first of three Futurama episodes was done.

    • eyelashviper

      NEVER eat Moon Pies before bedtime.

    • Suttree

      We should start doing a dream time share in the morning. Ya know, while we wait for Dominic.I have batshit dreams that I either forget or try not to remember every night.

      • mancityRed6

        it’s very rare I remember one this long. I used to text the ex in the morning and tell her, but I just don’t remember most of them past the alarm going off.

        • Suttree

          I remember until I light that first cigarette and refresh Wonkette. Then it’s usually gone.

      • Pinkham’s Law

        I have not remembered my dreams since I was maybe 10. I had a nightmare that scared the living SHIT outta me, and I haven’t remembered any since. Once in a while, a vague glimmer will remain, but even that’s rare.

        • Suttree

          Wow. I dream every night. I also wake up every 2 hours though. I have so many dreams that I only remember for a second. Unfortunately, sometimes my dream world is better than the real world. I will occasionally sleep for 30 hours or so. New dream every 2 hours. Expanded world. Some terrible, some good, some awesome.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          You can practice and you’ll get better at it. I read that if you write down what you remember you’ll start remembering more.

        • Suttree

          I still remember this one dream that I had at 4-5 years old. There were huge tortoises/turtels outside. Coming to the back door for me. They were friendly though. No joke, and I’m not referring to McConnell or anything. I won’t tell you about those recurring ones I used to have. I don’t want to remember them either.

          Wowzers! I just had a breakthrough! I haven’t had a chase dream in about 6 months. I used to get them every night. I guess Lizzie any anti-depressants, and drinking less had some effect.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        I swear one night when I was about 18 I got an obscene phone call but instead of waking up and being scared or whatever he wanted I incorporated it into my dream and just dreamed I was talking to a lover about sex and my body and I talked to him without any filter at all. I sort of woke up when he started laughing and I recall that he was the one who hung up.

        • Suttree

          Dream or reality!?

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Reality that really, really felt like a dream. Then I wished it was a dream because of what I must have said to that guy. But in the end, I had to admit it was real.

    • janecita

      Poor poodles, the bears probably ate them:-(

      • mancityRed6

        no, they were closer to me. passed right by me in the snow. last thing I remember is turning to follow them.

        • janecita

          I’m glad!

  • Ω cynmac will never surrender

    Of course, Twitter is having fun at Rinse Penis’ expense. No hashtag yet, but #skinnyrepeal is still trending.
    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/07/reince-you-should-uh-check-your-twitter-the-internet-reacts-after-chief-of-staff-thrown-under-priebus/

  • Suttree

    Alright wireless headphones on and a fresh drink. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghb6eDopW8I

  • La forza del resistino

    Reince allegedly fired for leaking. Pleads his case by saying I look good in lingerie and you can call me Nastya.

  • mancityRed6

    aww, Reince. too bad you can’t go back to your old job
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rY0WxgSXdEE

  • Rick Hill

    Something’s happenin’ here…what it is, ain’t exactly clear….
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/a9AAWYj_700b.jpg

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
  • Three Finger Salute
    • Shanzgood

      Peens

      • Three Finger Salute

        “I have a peen, it ends in a point. Pointy pointy pointy, pointy point point”

        -Donald “Patrick” Trump

    • AJ Milne

      My six-year old…

      … probably wouldn’t screw up his SF-86 as bad as the average Trump hire.

    • mancityRed6

      “The framed drawing received 11 bids…”
      I can’t even.

    • Canis Greyhame

      That is going to look so nice on Sergey’s fridge, right next to the first Ruble Trump ever laundered for him back in the 90’s.

    • Thiazin Red

      Of course the signature is in gold, of course it is.

      • Three Finger Salute

        That’s not gold gel ink…

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    Serious face, there’s talk about another “religious freedom” EO.

    Things are going to get very dark for the LGBT community over the next four years.

    • AJ Milne

      It’s almost like someone’s desperate enough to pander to their base by trying to crank up the culture war again.

      • GreenGoldSharpie

        Yup, but we are ready. It was expected, and our community will be out in force. Even the trans military thing is going to be a blood bath if they push it.

        This will be a street fight in the courts and in public opinion.

    • Tell them to Bring It. I am sick of their Shit, I am sick of Religious Fanatics and Reich-Wing Assholes, which are the same fucking worthless-ass thing any-fucking-way.

      • And they’re not even the majority of the populace. They’re just pathetic losers who need more drama in their lives.

    • janecita

      This isn’t the dark ages, you guys have allies ready to protest, march and fight for you.

      • GreenGoldSharpie

        Oh, we’re geared for a fight.

        They’ll regret such an order given I expect a full court press in the media and courts.

        It’s still gonna suck, though.

      • Thank you, for real. :)

        • janecita

          My motto in life has always been:
          “Homo sum, humani nihil a me alienum puto.”
          Terence

          It means something like:
          ” I am a human: I regard nothing human as foreign to me.”
          It sounds way better in Spanish though:-)
          “Nada Humano me es ajeno.”

      • biologydave

        Agreed

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Absolutely.

  • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent
    • Serai 1

      Indoctrinate the youth. Check.

      • Begin Anew Day

        That Boy Scout Jamboree has been renamed Boy Scout GoatFuck.

  • WiscoJoe

    Reince says he resigned last night. White House says Dump fired him two-weeks ago.

    It’s somehow more than likely that everyone involved is lying.

    • Begin Anew Day

      The laws of Quantum Mechanics cannot be broken until they are.

      • armed_bears

        Is stupid quantized? I feel like this administration is banging my noggin with a Planck unit.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    RUMINT: Season 2 plot under development.

    https://twitter.com/JohnJHarwood/status/891046384870281216

  • Thiazin Red

    I would 100% watch the movie version of this twitter thread.

    https://twitter.com/SamSykesSwears/status/890751932779839488

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    John Harwood of CNBC who covers DC politics says Trump going to war with GOP Congress.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Wow. There is an old Dumbass tweet for every situation, isn’t there?
    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/156829591267328000

  • Three Finger Salute

    European nice time. Remember our French boyfriend Emmanuel Macron? Well, he recently met with Rihanna to discuss investing in girls’ education around the world.

    L’awkward first date. Je t’aime Monsieur Presidente Giggles!
    http://referentiel.nouvelobs.com/file/16176165.jpg

    Le sisters, how you say, work-work-work run le monde, oui!

    https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2017-07/27/13/asset/buzzfeed-prod-fastlane-03/sub-buzz-947-1501174945-2.jpg

  • Doug Langley

    Got called in to summer camp to help with today’s field trip (going golfing!) Finally, after sitting on my hands all week, finally a chance to make some badly needed money! So got in bright and early and was told “Not all the kids showed up so sorry we don’t need you.”

    Fuck it.

    • ~hugs~

      • Doug Langley

        thanks.

    • Shanzgood

      That place sounds like a cluster. Are the kids even SAFE there?!

      • Doug Langley

        They’re safe. Parents bring them in the morning and pick them up late afternoon. Field trips are iffy cuz parents have to sign forms and pay whatever to cover where we go. Apparently two kids decided not to show and that was enough to make me superfluous.

        • Shanzgood

          Well, dang. I’m sorry you lost the work time.

          • Doug Langley

            Thanks. Oh, and the kids have to wear special T shirts for field trips with the camp’s name and phone number so if they get lost, whoever finds them can phone it in. But the T shirts cost extra and if parents don’t want to pay, it complicates things.

    • OutOfOrbit

      whut kind of summuh camp iz you even taklin bout?

      • Doug Langley

        Place for kids of local families, elementary and middle school level. Lots of play, classes in math, science, and english, free lunch. Kinda fun, really.

        • OutOfOrbit

          and they just show up or not? do the parents know where their kids are?

          • Doug Langley

            Of course. The parents drop them off and pick them up. They have to sign in and sign out. Today boss was on the phone a lot, I assume talking to parents and finding out a few wouldn’t show up.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Awww, that’s shitty. I’m so sorry.

      • Doug Langley

        Boss did say something about paying me, don’t know if it would be for the whole day, but she has been sneaking a bit extra into my checks so maybe.

    • Suttree

      Uggggggggg

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Well, shit.

  • armed_bears

    Is it mansplaining if I ask where your life vest is?

    • armed_bears

      Hint: No, it’s not.

    • Suttree

      It looks like it is under her jackets. Or else her boobs have grown sharp angles since I last saw Trix.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos
  • sw19covfefe

    Fuck’s sake! I get back to (the Canadian side of) the archipelago on the 11th August.
    The ferry from Sidney BC to Anacortes is a lovely scenic ride, tho, for sure.
    So near I could almost spit! (albeit a week late and a loonie short) :(
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d9eeedff52d19c15fcb6c8798522a621b700a43dc2e5cf1019fae0552871ef38.gif

  • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

    WHEN WILL YOU COME TO L.A.???? Or even NEARBY L.A.! We will give you tacos or have an In n’ Out Truck (MY TREAT)

    • Bec Jenn

      And then down to AZ. Though I don’t suggest a visit till about October and late October at that.

      • Ωbjectifier

        Flagstaff Arizona
        Don’t forget Winona

        • Erala Contratista

          There is no Winona in Winona. I have been everywhere and I know….

          • yyyaz

            Hey, it’s just a coupla miles down the road from me, literally. Grown so much you wouldn’t recognize it, maybe 1,500 peeps.

          • Erala Contratista

            Huh! Going by there next year…we’ll check it out.
            Heard Kingman is hot retirement spot (sorry, had to do it).

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        Yes, there is that! Thanks for adding that. WONKEBAGO COME IN OCTOBER!!!!! PLEASE! (or JANUARY)

      • yyyaz

        If they are up in my neck of the woods, bring snow chains.

    • Serai 1

      YES THANK YOU WE EXIST TOO.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      She said October a while back, you guys.

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        Did she? I missed it. That would be so cool!

        • CindyinEncinitas

          She did. It was a while ago, though. June, I think.

  • Three Finger Salute
  • NotReallyHere

    Hello Wonketteers! We went to Canada last week. It was glorious, and I am now going to share some glorious pictures of glorious Canada which are glorious because I love all of you so very much!
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/526ea23aba96c4115ee0ba5c525db1305348838cc284cf513c67bbb785c0ab19.jpg

    Ok, disqus will only let me upload one. I’ll try again with others later. This is the view from Fort Steele, by the way.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Though it’s cold and lonely in the Trumpenreich,
      I can see paradise by the Northern Lights…!

    • janecita

      Beautiful!

    • NotReallyHere
      • sw19covfefe

        Nice! You managed to find a bit that isn’t on fire right now :/

        • NotReallyHere

          I know they’re having raging forest fires right now, and I was really surprised that I couldn’t smell any smoke at all. I know that scent can travel for miles.

          • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

            We sent it east to annoy ‘bertans

      • aureolaborealis

        Extra upfist for dragonfly.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        So pretty.

    • Suttree

      Yay! You can upload a few if you pull them from the folder with the little box on the lower left.

      • NotReallyHere

        Thanks. The problem was my pictures were too large, so I had to crop them.

    • sw19covfefe

      Is that the Fraser River?

      • NotReallyHere

        It is the Kootenay River. We were in the southeastern part of BC.

        • sw19covfefe

          Ah, sweet. I’m planning to head that direction for a road trip next month, or early September.
          Somewhere in the Interior, forest fires withstanding.

          • NotReallyHere

            I mentioned above that we couldn’t smell the smoke from the fires in this area at all.

        • aureolaborealis

          I used to live on the more southern part of the Kootenay River.

    • NotReallyHere
  • jesterpunk

    Donnie 2 scoops might be in trouble for banning twitting people.

    https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2017/07/politician-dinged-for-blocking-critical-constituent-from-facebook-page/

    Now there’s some legal precedent on the matter. It comes from a
    federal judge in Virginia who said that a local politician had violated
    the First Amendment rights of a constituent because the politician
    briefly banned the constituent from the politician’s personal Facebook
    account.

    “The suppression of critical commentary regarding elected officials
    is the quintessential form of viewpoint discrimination against which the
    First Amendment guards,” US District Judge James Cacheris wrote
    Tuesday in a suit brought by a constituent against Phyllis Randall, the
    chairwoman of the Loudoun County Board of Supervisors in Virginia.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Well, The Douche, bummer about that divorce, but your rebound gal looks, um, nice?
    https://twitter.com/ALT_uscis/status/891063671555751937

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenResistance
  • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

    Keith has the best response so far to the filthy thug advocating brown-shirt violence by the cops
    https://twitter.com/KeithOlbermann/status/891010429530640384

    • BosGrl

      Also, “paddy wagon” is a racial slur.

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        Yes, that too.

  • Katelyn Bronson

    Going to drive up from Seattle, because no where is too far if wonkette is there.

    • sw19covfefe

      I swear one of these days imma road trip to Montana just to knock on the Editrix’s door and tell her she can keep her fucking lawnmower. :p

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    apparently rinsed pubis is going to be talking to wolf soon.

    • Master Contrail Program

      I’m not sure even Winston Wolfe could solve Priebus’ problems.

      • “So, Pubes, let’s not start Sucking each other’s dicks just yet.”

        “That’s Bannon, Mr. Wolf. And my name is Reince Priebus.”

        • Master Contrail Program

          “Well how about you Lash LaRue? You think you can keep your (bone) spurs from jingling and jangling long enough to not tweet out something stupid for a few hours?”

      • Ωbjectifier

        Shit Negro, you’re sending The Wolf?

    • Vincent Ricola

      He’s calling into loser CNN and not FOX, that’s got to be on purpose.

      • OutOfOrbit

        FN donut like him

      • Blackest Noobs

        wouldn’t you? the enemy of my enemy is my friend.
        Trump’s enemy is CNN.

        • Vincent Ricola

          Absolutely.

    • Serai 1

      Twitler’s too fucking stupid to realize that by firing people he only frees them to go spill the beans to anyone who’ll listen.

  • Gawddaemmit youTube! I cannot watch NASA videos anymore without Flat Earth Bullshit coming up in the Recommends.

  • Begin Anew Day

    Does this comment button qualify Wonkette as a source of occult knowledge?

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    how MS-13 got it’s name…I was told once, trucha meant “watch your back.”

    “To sound tougher and reinforce their Salvadoran identity, the Stoners re-baptized themselves as the Mara Salvatrucha,” Grillo wrote. “People have speculated that Salvatrucha might be a play on words of Salvadoran and trucha, meaning ‘street smart.’ Others say it just sounded good.”

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/28/us/ms-13-gang-long-island-trump/index.html

    • Serai 1

      “Trucha” means “trout”.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Kilgore Trout.
        This is starting to make sense.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Ish thish the open thread? Sorry to ask, but I’m as drunk as Peggy Noonan.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Yesh.

    • Blackest Noobs

      dang…that’s like….REALLY…drunk.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Did you bring enough for the whole class?

  • Shanzgood

    Yay! I have a functioning AC again! Outside unit needed a fuse and capacitor replaced is all. But the service tech said it’s not gonna last many more years. Ugh.

    • Charon_69

      Flux capacitor?

    • Yay for working now, at least. :)

    • Vicki Lawrence’s Covfefe

      Huzzah! We are on week 8 without. I’m pretty sure it’ll be December by the time this is resolved…and I’ll still turn it on full blast.

      • Shanzgood

        Ack! Where are you? And why is it taking so long?

        • Vicki Lawrence’s Covfefe

          McConnell country. It’s a warranty thing. A friend suggested we watch “The Long Hot Summer.”

          • Shanzgood

            I’ve been sitting on my porch a lot.

    • OutOfOrbit

      “–many more years.” no sweat

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Neither are any of us so I say enjoy it while you got it.

      • Shanzgood

        I’ll probably have to replace it before I can sell the house.

    • Suttree

      It is only in the 80’s for highs now in Jersey, and dropping into the 60’s at night. So I can now say fuck a/c once again. A few weeks ago was horribly terrible though. How close can I put a pedestal fan to my body?

      • BosGrl

        It is so nice to be able to open the window at night.

        • Suttree

          I never close them! I don’t have a/c in my room. That is fancy stuff left up to others. 2 fans work for me.

          • BosGrl

            I think that should be your stage name: 2 Fans.

      • Shanzgood

        When I was a kid, I used to put a box fan by my bed and make a tent with my sheet.

        • Suttree

          Me too! I never had a/c until I moved to Louisiana when I was 17.

  • Charon_69

    Wait how can google be confused by comments that don’t exist?

    • Dick St. Dipshit

      Don’t worry, Google can fuck up anything.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Google has fucked up everything.

        FTFY.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Remember when it seemed like they knew what they were doing?

  • Three Finger Salute

    I feel really badly for this poor lovely lady. I don’t want to live on this planet anymore. Or at least not this section of it.

    Michelle Obama says she still faces racism even in post-WH life

    The President and CEO of the Women’s Foundation of Colorado, Lauren Casteel, commented that Obama broke a glass ceiling by becoming the first black first lady. She then asked which of the falling glass shards cut the deepest.

    “The shards that cut me the deepest were the ones that intended to cut,” she said, referencing being called an ape and people talking about her bottom. “Knowing that after eight years of working really hard for this country, there are still people who won’t see me for what I am because of my skin color.”

    She said she can’t pretend like it doesn’t hurt because that lets those who do the hurting off the hook.

    BTW: The article has to bowdlerize somewhat, due to the nature of the remarks that Michelle was in fact referring to. The comments people made about her “bottom” don’t refer solely to her rump. It’s actually about her front quarters, a longstanding conspiracy theory that she is transgender — where the cruelest of trolls actually demanded to see her birth certificate and the results of her annual physical to “see for themselves” and “know the truth.”

    What a disgusting world we live in. I hope she knows that despite the ugly face of evil truly exposing itself in America in response to the election of the first black president, that there are still very many people at home and around the world who love and respect her, her husband and their two young daughters. Poor Michelle. She seems so nice and doesn’t deserve any of this. Nobody does.

    • Suttree

      Michelle is the most beautiful, most intelligent, and kindest first lady ever. I love her!

    • Elendira

      Michelle Obama is an incredibly kind woman, seems to be a good mother, incredibly smart and beautiful. The fact that she could also play power forward for the Knicks if she wanted to just adds to her appeal.

      (that transgender shit comes from people who can’t handle a strong (mentally and physically) woman. I mean have you seen Rush Limbaugh?

    • BJW

      I read the same article in WaPo and boy, I ended up blocking/ignoring so many ugly, hateful comments.

  • dougbob

    I realize these folks in the linked story are Trots or whatever, but they may be on to something when it comes to the way Google is treating you…. https://www.wsws.org/en/articles/2017/07/27/goog-j27.html

    • Three Finger Salute

      The MIC invests in startups. I don’t doubt they’re part of Google et al too.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In-Q-Tel

      No surprise since the Internet itself was a project of DARPA.

      Kaczynski’s methods may have been destructive, but his thesis was generally correct. We dun fucked up bigly. After all, Trump himself admitted that he probably wouldn’t be president without Twitter.

    • yyyaz

      If you use the google like I have for the past decade and a half, you would have noticed that it has regressed to the point of near-uselessness. Which bing and yahoo have always been. “Do no evil” is as laughably doublespeak as everything that oozes from the POSOTUS and the Gimps of Putin party.

  • Master Contrail Program
  • sw19covfefe

    Hmmm….So, was McCain playing some 23-dimensional chess with the first vote, after all?
    https://twitter.com/s5/status/891017513995182080

    • Shanzgood

      Wow!

      • sw19covfefe

        This would explain why the Turtle was on the verge of tears.

        • Shanzgood

          The next fiscal year starts in October, though….

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            That’s the other reason why this theory doesn’t hold water- it’s not like they can’t try again in a couple months. Sure, they all wanted it to happen so they could do their tax cuts this year (there are a record number of millionaires and billionaires filing extensions this year precisely because they were banking on it happening, including the boy king himself), but ‘next year’ isn’t that far away

    • Suttree

      I wish a was more of a wonk and understood these weird rules.

      Does anyone have an idea on a friendly way to understand these rules better?

      • sw19covfefe

        IMHO Procedural/parliamentarian stuff is intentionally confusing.

        • Suttree

          Obviously! I just want a list of the rules. Someone needs to be yelled at properly. The person that needs to do the yelling is me! (Also too, my father needs his comeuppance on being smarter than me:))

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          They also don’t strictly follow Robert’s Rules of Order. I studied it as a kid and had to be well versed in it- sometimes it applies, sometimes it’s overridden by their own rules.

          • sw19covfefe

            I’m in no way an expert in US rules (an ‘A’ Level in Political Economy only gets a womble so far in life), but for sure the amount of ‘conventions’ and arbitrary waiving/not waiving of various procedures is usually down to interpretation by the government du jour.
            Harper fucking prorogued Parliament, FFS, just to stay in power, up in Canada. And that’s a seriously megadouche ‘matter of national security’ banana republic move, which everyone in Ottowa seemed to not make enough of a fuss about.

      • msanthropesmr

        I think cricket is easier.

      • OrG

        Heads I win, tails you lose.

    • Doug Langley
      • sw19covfefe

        Thanks!

      • Shibusa

        Kind of a shark tank of commenters there!

        • Doug Langley

          That’s what surprises me about the site. Booman is calm and measured, yet the commentators can get really nasty. I guess he never bans anyone.

    • BosGrl

      Is it possible that having a catastrophic illness himself, and likely being very grateful for good insurance, influenced him? Whatever. We’re safe for a while anyway.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Or, as Zippy put it, he’s grandstanding a last, sweeping gesture toward his legacy.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          DING DING DING DING DING

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          This whole theory falls apart the moment ZEGS puts worth a substantive guarantee that the House would take it to committee- then what does McCain do? If this theory were correct, he singlehandedly caused a bill to get passed that he was secretly plotting to kill, to the point of wheels within wheels strategy? They’re damn lucky ZEGS didn’t offer something ironclad, because he’s such a coward and didn’t want to catch that hot potato. If he had, the House would have been in control because they could always pass the skinny repeal without the Senate being able to do anything about it. And if he had done that, they’d have peeled off McCain and possibly one of the girls and won.

        • BosGrl

          Either way, I’ll take it.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      No, he was making it all about himself so he could be the center of attention and be remembered for the (likely) last thing he does as being the Maverick™. The fact that it burned Mitch and the GOP is a nice coincidence, but remember who we’re talking about here- shoot from the hip Johnny, the guy willing to roll the dice and gamble. He did so with Palin in 2008 and that was a strategic blunder. He also blundered with his response to the breaking news of the financial panic and blew off a debate to “go to Washington and think”, then got caught being in NY. He’s not that strategic of a thinker to play that sort of Machiavellian eleventy dimension chess. He is smart enough to stagecraft the whole thing to cement his legacy though, so that’s what he did.

      • sw19covfefe

        Fair enough then! Regardless, at least he actually did something mavericky for once.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          I’m glad he did, regardless his reasons for doing so

  • OrdinaryJoe
    • Shanzgood

      I love his giggle!

  • BosGrl

    Hey guys – it’s safe to watch Hardball tonight. Joy is sitting in.

    • yyyaz

      TYVM.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Just rewatching this. And smiling.

    https://youtu.be/st070p6jL_w

    • OrG

      Still fuck walnuts, but kudos for making the turtle cry.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Damn. Did he out play the McTurtle as the Senate Rule Master? It sure looks like he did. And he gave cover to some of his friends who probably hated the bill but because they could vote yea last night don’t have to go home and face some angry ass TeaTurfer.

  • Rick Hill

    I’m seriously thinking trump wants the generals around him in the hopes that advice he is given will be one of crushing his opponents

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    On Wednesday, President Trump announced on Twitter that “the U.S. government would not accept or allow transgender individuals to serve in any capacity in the U.S. military.

    Conservative commentator Tomi Lahren wasted no time praising Trump for his decision.

    The military is not a social experiment. Finally a POTUS who understands the concept. Political correctness=intellectual dishonesty!

    — Tomi Lahren (@TomiLahren) July 26, 2017
    With 140 characters never sufficient to convey her vile opinions, Lahren continued further.

    Pres Trump dedicated to putting radical Muslims in graves whereas Pres Obama was dedicated to putting men in the ladies room. #MAGA

    — Tomi Lahren (@TomiLahren) July 26, 2017
    Enter J.K. Rowling, who has never shied away from an opportunity to set things straight, particularly when it comes to U.S. politics.

    The Harry Potter author sarcastically shut down Lahren.

    Truly, whom amongst us can forget Trump ordering the killing of bin Laden? Or Obama bragging about barging in on naked beauty contestants? pic.twitter.com/1veorstvA0

    — J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) July 27, 2017

    http://www.distractify.com/politics/2017/07/28/JxA5E/jk-rowling-perfectly-shuts-down-to

    • I met a woman whom had been a Navy SEAL before she transitioned. She is beautiful, she could put a large-caliber round through a human-head sized target at around one mile. and the only reason I didn’t date her was I was in a relationship with a cisgender Lesbian at the time the former SEAL asked me.

  • Vincent Ricola

    Reince is trying to make it seem like he was 100% on-board this whole idea right now on CNN, while simultaneously slobbing on Donald’s balls and refusing to get into the mud with the Mooch, it’s pathetic and embarrassing to watch.

    • yyyaz

      So, just another day in the sad little twit’s life.

    • DrBigHead

      He has clearly sold his soul.

      • Alex Grey

        He’s got no soul to sell…

      • sw19covfefe

        There’s still some “for the good of the Party” flowing through his veins.
        Give him a few days to go cold turkey.

        • Alex Grey

          Maybe he could be given an empathy transfusion.

      • brucej

        Oh man he burned through the third mortgage on THAT years ago. Now he’s renting it by the hour as a hot-sheet

  • specialcircumstances

    Dang it! I have family in Anacortes and could make a trip out of it, but have to be in eastern wa for a wedding next weekend. Have fun all you crazy kids. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7bd433d0a0fc22516c7430e377ba209889bb6dde5869b16133de4d640650c32e.jpg

  • NotReallyHere

    I have a question for any Canadian Wonketteers or anyone who knows, really. I recently went on a trip to Canada from the US. My allergies kind of blew up there, so I went to a grocery store and bought a bottle of 100 ct generic Benadryl. It cost around $18(CAN). In the US I can buy the same bottle (minus the French) for around $4(US). Why the huge price difference? Most things were slightly more expensive, but the Benadryl was a lot more expensive.

    • sw19covfefe

      Did they not have any own-brand product?
      Over-the-counter stuff is pretty standard cost IME, so maybe it was an expensive import?

      • NotReallyHere

        It is Western Family, which is a pretty standard generic where I live.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Is it because it’s made in the U.S., so it’s an import to Canada w/ tariffs, etc?

      • NotReallyHere

        Yes, I think it does say it’s imported in the tiny print on the back. So, maybe that’s it. Thanks!

        • sw19covfefe

          I agree with Cat Cafe, that’s probably it.
          You should see the price they charge for Marmite.
          Blimey.

          • Amy!

            That’s ’cause of the Hazardous Substance Tariff and the protective suits all the warehouse handlers have to wear.

          • NotReallyHere

            Wow, I hadn’t heard of that. Wonkette is so educational! Thanks!

          • sw19covfefe

            I blame the Great Vegemite Spill of 1954 into the St Lawrence for all these ridiculous regulations.
            Marmite is a far superior (original and best) brewing by-product to that awful antipodean knock-off!

          • Amy!

            That was a true disaster. The pictures of the fish surfacing, to snatch cans of Fosters from unwary passersby! Terrible, terrible. They say some of them went walkabout, before it all washed out to sea.

          • Teecha

            Food of the gods.

    • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

      Some OTC stuff is a lot more expensive here. Some cheaper, no idea why.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    My understanding was that Rinced was very complimentary to Dumbass and the admin on Wolfie’s little show, but…
    “Hair on fire, rage arrrg!”
    https://twitter.com/RogerJStoneJr/status/891071211467296769

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Roger Stone is an utter dickhead. Which explains how he gets along with Bannon, now that I think about it.

    • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

      Oh, go get a Trump tattoo on your saggy old ass, Stone, you fuckwad.

    • Stulexington

      Because it’s not enough to burn the bridge, you need to pull up the road and fill it in with a mountain of debris.

  • Me not sure

    John McCain has, as I thought he would, apparently gone back to Arizona for treatments. With the House already in recess, this means that the Republicans in the Senate can call it a Summer and take their well-deserved vacations back on the farm.
    I think I hear the soft bleating of the goats in the distance.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bf08ad2e92fa4c18ea4cf5401da83e973a9350b9618b39773d137d8745fb4abe.jpg

  • jesterpunk

    This was written when Shrub was President but it fits with Turnip too.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gG4P3ayBzVY

    Like they understand you in the back of the jet
    When you can’t put gas in your tank

    And these fuckers are laughing their way to the bank and cashing the cheque
    Asking you to have compassion and have some respect

    For a leader so nervous in an obvious way

    Stuttering and mumbling for nightly news to replay

    And the rest of the world watching at the end of the day

    In their living room laughing like “What did he say?”

    • Three Finger Salute

      RIP Chester Bennington

  • Suttree

    Dammit. I dropped the cap from some salad dressing down into the insinkerator. My hands are too large to fit down the hole.
    Did I a) Get my needle nose pliers out, or b) Cram an old head of celery down there to clear it out?

    • Alex Grey

      Get Donald to help?

    • Three Finger Salute

      Jared’ll fix it

    • Jeffocaster in the West

      Peanut butter on a spoon….

      • Suttree

        Aren’t you fancy with your “peanut butter”? Tell me how to make a grappling hook out of a fork and some cup o’ noodles. Hengh?

    • Doug Langley

      Some models the plastic flaps just pop out.

      • sw19covfefe

        He hee! plastic flaps :p

    • Suttree

      I figured the past tense would have given my next action away.

    • brucej

      This is why I got a 8″ pair of industrial tweezers at Ace Hardware, work really well for extracting things like that from places like that.

      • Suttree

        I only have the four inch pair in the apartment. The long ones are in the basement. I used the past tense because I already jammed the better part of a head of celery down there to clear the plastic threads. If I was sober. I would have gone down to storage.

        This is how I feel when I work on cars also, too. It’s not my fault that I have enormous hands!

    • Shanzgood

      Tongs?

      • Suttree

        Dammit! I do have tongs. Oh well. So long as the plastic was torn to shreds, I’m good. I forgot about those. I am also, too drunk right now. Where were you before!? :)

        • Alex Grey

          The tongs or the booze?

          • Suttree

            The plastic cap from the vinaigrette. I think that I shall eat cookies now.

        • Shanzgood

          I was being Uber for my daughter.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      A stick and some chewed bubble gum maybe?

  • Lesser Tiffany

    This was predicty when I typed in imgur and idk why

    https://i.imgur.com/s5Piz.png

  • weejee

    Oh noes, we’ll be flying home from Oz.

  • RMKH

    Oh man, this is a wet dream only the unconsummated kind because I live like 2 minutes walk from the boat launch and I have something else I absolutely have to do. So I will be late.

    Seriously, this isn’t some kind of weird joke, right? There’s really a Wonkfest right here in A Town???

  • Elendira

    so does this mean that every asshole cop during their murder trials can now argue that they are only following orders from the President of the United States of America and its too bad that the suspect (ususally black and brown, of course) died?

    • OutOfOrbit

      eggsackly

    • OrG

      They don’t have to get that complicated. I was askeered seems to work just fine.

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    Eh, been there done that. I am not jealous that the Wonkebago NEVER COMES TO THE HIGH DESERT AND HANGS OUT ON OUR 20 ACRES IN OUR YURT AND DRINK WINE AND STUFF………And our state is kinda Blue.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      IKR?

      The food here is amazing – even if it is 500 miles to the nearest city.

      Harrumph.

  • brucej

    WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! I WANNA BE THERE!!!!!! :-((((((

    I remember being in that park waiting for the ferry to come and takes us to a magical two weeks in Friday Harbor where I’d live if I had endless money and not a a job in Baja Arizona…sigh.

  • Three Finger Salute

    United States of Salem: GOP starts #BurnTheWitch campaign after Turtlecare fail

    Male Republicans jeered and even threatened their female counterparts who saved millions from healthcare calamity

    In the past week, Sen. Susan Collins (Maine) has been challenged by a male lawmaker to a duel. She and Sen. Lisa Murkowski (Alaska) were told that they and others deserve a physical reprimand for their decisions not to support Republican health-care proposals. Murkowski, who voted with Collins against starting the health-care debate this week, was specifically called out by President Trump on Twitter and told by a Cabinet official that Alaska could suffer for her choice, according to a colleague.

    The language of retribution increasingly adopted by Republican men reflects Trump’s influence and underscores the challenges GOP women can face when opposing the consensus of their party, which remains dominated by men, outside experts said. A videotape of Trump surfaced during the campaign revealing him bragging in vulgar terms about groping women, and some believed that opened the gates for further insults and degrading behavior toward women.

    Artist’s rendering of dissident female Republicans:

    https://img.haikudeck.com/mi/b2d2aae98a391f3e2c1d803efc134b0d.jpeg

    • Alex Grey

      We’ve never had any witch burning is Salem, OR.

      • Three Finger Salute

        No, but some people migrating there apparently saw their babies die of dysentery, according to a well-known interactive historical project called “Oregon Trail.” /s

        Funny thing is, in Arabic, Salem (pronounced sah-LEM) means peace, and is an alternate spelling of salam (dunno if salami is considered peace meat, but I digress). Similar to the Hebrew, shalom.

        But the Salem witch hunters of yore — and their counterpart Republicans of today — are more like ISIS than a culture of peace. Persecuting dissidents — especially women — is what they do best.

      • RMKH

        That’s because NOTHING ever happens in Salem, OR. Not even witch trials. Signed, McNary High School graduate

        • Alex Grey

          You do know Portland is less than an hour from there right?

          • RMKH

            Um, yeah, for they tell me I was born there. And of course that’s where we went to play, back in the day. Alvin Lee or the Outlaws or David Bromberg or the Dead at the Paramount. Pre-Schnitz era by quite a ways.

      • Petunia Cat

        They never had any which BURNINGS in Salem Massachusetts either. Why are people so historically out of it? The women in Salem Mass. were hanged. Burning people is the middle ages, the Inquisition. And not just for “witches”.

        • Alex Grey

          Witch hanging doesn’t make for near as good a story.

        • Serai 1

          Except for one guy who was pressed to death. Giles Corey, badass motherfucker, who when asked if he was finally willing to confess and spare himself the agony, said two words, “More weight.”

          • Petunia Cat

            That’s right! And his snark has survived centuries!

    • Go to war against all women GOP. Please.

    • OrG

      The rethugs aren’t the only party in town. Just sayin’.

    • Serai 1

      Yeah, let’s hear some more about how Twitler inspires respect for women. Come on, KAC, let’s hear some bullshit about that.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    On Wednesday, President Trump announced on Twitter that “the U.S. government would not accept or allow transgender individuals to serve in any capacity in the U.S. military.

    Conservative commentator Tomi Lahren wasted no time praising Trump for his decision.

    The military is not a social experiment. Finally a POTUS who understands the concept. Political correctness=intellectual dishonesty!

    — Tomi Lahren (@TomiLahren) July 26, 2017
    With 140 characters never sufficient to convey her vile opinions, Lahren continued further.

    Pres Trump dedicated to putting radical Muslims in graves whereas Pres Obama was dedicated to putting men in the ladies room. #MAGA

    — Tomi Lahren (@TomiLahren) July 26, 2017
    Enter J.K. Rowling, who has never shied away from an opportunity to set things straight, particularly when it comes to U.S. politics.

    The Harry Potter author sarcastically shut down Lahren.

    Truly, whom amongst us can forget Trump ordering the killing of bin Laden? Or Obama bragging about barging in on naked beauty contestants? pic.twitter.com/1veorstvA0

    — J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) July 27, 2017

    http://www.distractify.com/politics/2017/07/28/JxA5E/jk-rowling-perfectly-shuts-down-to

  • Marceline

    Whenever I get into a debate with someone who wants to know why I oppose term limits my answer is always the same…

    Because Sherrod Brown is my Senator.

    https://twitter.com/SenSherrodBrown/status/891016998515351552

    • Doug Langley

      Mine too!

    • TootsStansbury

      Term limits. They’re called “elections”. Pay attention and it’s all good.

      • jesterpunk

        But voting is hard and if I vote then I cant complain how no one was pure enough for me to vote for.

    • BJW

      Hey, he’s my senator too! I’m over here in extreme NW Ohio. It’s extreme because we are nearly in Indiana AND Michigan.

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      Dick Durban and newly elected Tammy Duckworth, for me!

    • SisterArtemis

      DeFazio, for me

      • Marceline

        I limited myself to Senators. Let’s not even talk about our House Reps. Because I will need to stand up for my girl Marcia Fudge.

    • Serai 1

      Would you be against them if you had a shitty senator, though?

      • Marceline

        I do have a shitty senator. His name is Rob Portman.

        I oppose term limits because I they reward laziness. “I can’t be bothered to pay attention to elections so I want a system that switches them out for me.”
        I DO pay attention to elections. I have representatives that I want to keep and others that I want to get rid of. (Did I mention Rob Portman?) Why shouldn’t I be allowed to fight for both outcomes based on the merits of the people involved?

  • WomanInThePersistence

    I love Funny or Die.

    https://youtu.be/UDWwxNDnPoU

  • Brendan O’Shea

    Aw, crap! So near and yet so far! I’ll be anchored in Padilla bay, thinkin’ ’boutcha. Maybe I’ll honk my BIG ASS HORN!

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
  • Ezio
    • OrG

      :( not really :)

    • Doug Langley

      Gosh, I hope he has money for a taxi.

      • Shanzgood

        Someone probably left it on the night table.

      • Bus fare. If he was nice to Scaramucci when he said goodbyes

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Cold. That’s the way in DC. You come to work in a secret service protective service motorcade but if you get fired that day you go home on the subway.

  • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

    So, since this thread has openness, this is really hilarious–read the whole thread. (Two horror movie writers) https://twitter.com/SamSykesSwears/status/890751932779839488

  • OrdinaryJoe

    So, I see that Corlemouche’s wife is getting out of the path of the dumpster fire.

    https://media0.giphy.com/media/BJtogv0IfeM7e/giphy.gif

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      And now HE’S begging for “respect” for his family. Best response: https://twitter.com/cmclymer/status/891065356671995904

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        This was the tweet Charles was responding to:https://twitter.com/Scaramucci/status/891047344636129280

        • janecita

          “Civilians?” Is he a member of the military? Is this officially, a military regime now?

        • OrdinaryJoe

          Now he has one more thing in common with Trumputin…two ex-wives that he hates.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      You should see the Twitter feed on that topic. Hilarious!

      • Vincent Ricola

        Whoa. She straight up says that she’s leaving him because she hates his
        blind ambition and his pussy-grabber new boss. Donald Trump is breaking
        up marriages.

        • OrdinaryJoe

          When they make the movie about the end of Trumputin, there has to be a scene where Stupidmouche goes all bat shit after he comes home to find all the locks on the doors changed and the wifey has a process server hand him papers.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Thanks. At least she can now wear all those fabulous high heels and not have her puny jerk ass of an ex-husband ragging on her because she is taller than him when she wears the nice heels.

  • Petunia Cat

    Two things from Seth Meyers: the way they dealt with reading all the cock comments from Scaramucci was: “🐓block” and a rooster noise instead of a bleep.

    And after Trump’s joke about Macron holding his hand Seth commented “who wouldn’t want to hold Trump’s hands, they’re probably nice and soft. Like little mink bags full of Jell-O.” That image will stay with you.

    • Maclare 🍹

      He got a lot of mileage from that rooster crow.

  • Picabo

    “Danger’s over, Banana Breakfast is saved.”
    ― Thomas Pynchon, Gravity’s Rainbow

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos
  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    Aww. I come all the way to Chicago and you run off to Anacortes!

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    Who was the Wonker throwing an Eclipse Party?

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Was going to be me. Circumstances beyond my control forced me to cancel. If any Wonkers will be in Columbia, SC for the eclipse, I would love for us to get together, but I cannot host a Murder of noncommenters as I had hoped to.

    • Zyxomma

      John Thomas, IIRC. I’m waiting for an update.

  • MynameisBlarney

    I still say there needs to be a south Floriduh drinky thingy!
    Dammit!

    • MynameisBlarney

      I mean, other than the copious amounts o’ drinkin’ what already takes place here.

    • Doug Langley

      Or Ohio!

    • janecita

      Who the hell would want to do that??? You guys have mosquitoes, alligators, roaches, and crazy Cubans!!!

    • SisterArtemis

      Organize one for yourselves! We’re getting ready to do our 4th – one organized by Editorial and Shy, the other three by renegade wonkers Siezing The Means of Drinky Thing Production. It’s fun!

      • MynameisBlarney

        Good idea!

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos
  • Master Contrail Program

    Cheer up, Reinsey. Perhaps you can find work with a less cartoonish, more realistically complected, evil boss? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/820f46d201244dbe87ecf613690e69b99403f8db18365788cbb8cb9ff04204fc.jpg

  • memzilla Ω
    • Serai 1

      They’ll go right out the door if you open it at night, turn off the indoor lights and turn on the outdoor ones. Works like a charm.

  • Anna Rompage

    So, who’s next off the island?

    I’m thinking Bannon, but it might take a few weeks…

    • TootsStansbury

      Never. That thing is like one of those pizza dropping from The ceiling things from the original Star Trek.

      • Anna Rompage

        Rinsed Pubis is out because he was opposed to ScaryDouchy…

        You know what selfdick sucking contortionist was also against hiring ScaryDouchy, and is not in good graces of Prince Jared and Queen Invanka?

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          depends upon how much dirt Bannon holds on the boy king

      • BJW

        NOT one of my favorite episodes!

      • SisterArtemis

        Pizza? I beg to differ! Egg Foo Young!

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i’m voting Price.

    • Count Awesome

      My money on Sessions.

    • Master Contrail Program

      The smart money’s on Sessions, but smart and money don’t seem to meet up much in this administration.

    • Amy!

      My money’s still on The Mooch. He’s now achieved what Donnie prolly wanted him for, and he’s prolly stirring shit up in the White House and disturbing the toddler’s diet coke habit.

      • Petunia Cat

        On Lawrence O’Donnell last night!! Scaramucci hasn’t actually officially started working for the White House yet! He can’t until he finishes selling his company to China. Or some Chinese business people. 😮

        Lawrence commented it would be interesting if Trump weirdly did the sane thing and shit canned him, to see if suddenly his company was worth a great deal less to these Chinese business people.

        • Amy!

          Oh, that would be awesome.

    • Marceline

      Tillerson. He’s already in hiding.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        And he’s pretty clearly fed up with how much the gig interferes with quality naptime.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        They won’t have to fire him- he wants out

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Tillerson is brushing up his resume, updating his Linked In profile, making calls to his network. If he were SMRT, he’d retire and lay low for a minute. Then start a consultancy.

    • TootsStansbury

      You know what’s horrible. We’re speculating and joking about this admittedly delish bullshit when we really should be concentrating on ousting this malevolent lot of authoritarian fascists.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        We can do both!

      • Three Finger Salute
      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        I can multitask. I am watching MasterChef, reading Wonkette and eating graham crackers.
        As far as ousting these idiots, that’s out of our hands. The mechanisms are the preview of Mueller, the IC and/or Congress. What we can do is keep our eyes open and keep up the heat. Right now the water is starting to boil.

      • Claire

        We don’t actually have to concentrate on any one thing 24/7. In fact, that’s a good way to burn out and become totally inefficient. Even if I spend all my time staring at my computer screen with a really intense frowny thoughtful face, I still won’t be able to vote until 2018, and I still can’t mind-control the House into starting impeachment proceedings.

        I love my cat and he’s like my #1 priority in life right now, but that doesn’t mean I can’t read a book every now and then, you know?

        • kareemachan

          You think good. Honest. And, hey, you like cats. Double good.

  • Petunia Cat

    Three years ago in my neck of the woods we were in the bowels of the crack mayor scandal. In the shower today I started remembering the bits of it. One of the most salient features I had forgotten was that they couldn’t remove him as mayor and this weird information kept dribbling out. The video of him smoking crack of course. Which then disappeared but after a mass drug raid a couple months after it was reported on it turned out to be on the computer of one of the guys from the drug raid so the police had all seen it. And yet he stayed in power. Also dribbling out, he drove drunk all the time. He once downed a little bottle of vodka in his Escalade and then drove. (One of the Twitter parody accounts was Rob Ford’s Escalade.) One of his staffers came to his house to put batteries in the smoke detector 🙄, he was on a date so his girlfriend came with him. And the mayor offered her some pot. It turned out the police had been surveilling him for months. And had photos of his pot dealer surreptitiously putting envelopes on the seat of his car parked outside a convenience store while the mayor was inside. This cleverly indirect rendezvous was photographed by police. At one of these they also photographed the mayor urinating in broad daylight in a high school parking lot. And that photo was on the news. It was a little fuzzy.

    Why am I telling you all this? I don’t know. I guess because following a scandal that gets inside your brain and won’t let you forget about it is the same no matter who it is. And I’m delectating on the fact that as intense as the crack mayor scandal was, obviously with way less severe consequences than Trump, it ended. It is in the past. And the Trump administration will be too one day. And we will be amazed at the shit that became commonplace during it. 😳

    • Three Finger Salute

      It ended once and for all when Rob Ford died of cancer. To desire a similar outcome for Trump(ism) is against the rules here — and might even backfire because of how angry and armed his base is, how willing the GOP is to let them riot if it means mass deaths of the untermenschen (and an excuse for martial law), and how delighted Putin would be to see the U.S. collapse into a Second Civil War.

      As for Canada, the cons at large are still an angry, cornered, feral species sniping at Justin, and hoping to harness enough discontent over things like immigration, Khadrgate, and this nonsensical, jealous bitching by the twitterati over the (admittedly poorly-written) Rolling Stone article, to unseat him and forge an unholy Tory Trump alliance that would crash and burn Canada once and for all.

      This always happens. Conservatives fuck things up, liberals come in to try and clean up the mess, but when they don’t magically turn everything into a utopian village of sunshine and roses overnight, the locals get restless and start sharpening their torches and pitchforks again.

      The orange menace of Toronto probably seemed like a never-ending catastrophe for Torontonians, but as you said, it had way less severe consequences other than Ford himself being humiliated by memes and Jimmy Fallon impressions. The “indispensable nation” spiraling into chaos would have consequences for the whole world.

      • Petunia Cat

        Yep.

      • Jenny

        Could you imagine the freak out if Dump had a heart attack? Scalia and Brietbart lunacy x 1 billion.

  • Nick Scroggs

    Well, country’s going to hell in a handbasket, in the meantime, here’s a little music. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-08KZo4KXM

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i have that game – that shit is hard AF.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Not meaning to be disrespectful to Mrs Sanders, but where exactly is Scaramucci’s hand?

    https://twitter.com/girlsreallyrule/status/891052045850955776

    • Doug Langley

      OH. MAH. GAWD.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i was just htinking hte same thing.

      • kareemachan

        DITTO!

    • RMKH

      Apparently being a P-grabber is now a White House job requirement.

    • Left Coast Tom

      Good, in addition to tweeting evidence of their Russian treason they tweet evidence for sexual harassment claims (Sanders works for Scaramucci…).

      • Petunia Cat

        It’s Photoshopped. Come on. Real photo was all over everything three days ago. And it appears further down in that Twitter thread.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Well, bless your commitment to reality. Post the pictures.

          • Petunia Cat

            Click on the tweet posted and scroll down. ⬇️

      • kareemachan

        Does she do the fandango?

    • Anna Rompage

      seeing that she usually only smiles when other people are getting fucked over….

    • BloviateMe

      That’s GOT to be photoshopped.

      ETA: the fact I’m not completely sure says something about this admin.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i would guess soo – although her posture and facial expression is priceless.

        • BloviateMe

          It’s fucking perfect.

      • Anna Rompage

        Are you kidding? Did you see the way he was pawing at, and touching the BBC reporter the other day?

    • Truck Fump

      Perry sits like a queen.

      • BloviateMe

        LMAO. For real.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        like?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      hunting squirrels

    • Petunia Cat

      That is photoshopped. In that Twitter thread further down the real photo appears. And why in the fuck when we have all these shitty men, with their hypermacho weird domination rituals did somebody make a Photoshop picture humiliating a woman? Sure Huckabee Sanders is an asshole, but she’s not in fucking charge of anything.

    • EXACTLY!

  • ongre11

    How nice of you to associate with the riff raff and little people.

  • nightmoth

    Oh, noes! I’m gonna have to figure out a new thingy from Google? I already hate and spit upon their new google news format, which keeps telling me I live in a place I don’t live, and will not believe me even when I sign in and yell. A new BUTTON. Damnation.

  • BloviateMe

    I haven’t listened to Korn’s Take a Look in the Mirror for years, by the seven gods I forgot how good it is.

    Not everyone’s cup of tea, to be sure, but damned if I can figure out why it’s not.

    https://youtu.be/xmOOGeZE-aE

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      it helps understanding if you are from Bakersfield .

    • Master Contrail Program

      Is that Korn III? If so, that was the last album I really enjoyed of theirs.

      • BloviateMe

        Not sure, but that sounds about right.

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    I’m just glad it’s unlikely that Wonkebago appears unlikely to turn up in New York with the usual 24-hour notice in August. Because I’m leaving town from the 12th to the 20th and if you showed up here then I was all ready to cut a bitch.

    • Left Coast Tom

      It’s very hard to park a motor home on Manhattan Island.

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        They’ve done it, in proximity.

      • Canned Covfefe

        Try Walmart. Not kidding. A big deal thing although maybe not in Manhattan.

        • Left Coast Tom

          I saw this in Whitehorse (YK) – tons of RVs in the Walmart lot (which happened to be shared with a Starbucks).

        • Claire

          There aren’t any Walmarts in Manhattan, according to their store finder. You’d have to level a city block to have enough room for one of their stores and its parking lot.

  • jesterpunk

    Trump is doing more this week to help the working class.

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/28/business/treasury-retirement-myra-obama.html

    An Obama-era program that created savings accounts to help more people put away money for retirement is being shut down by the Treasury Department, which deemed the program too expensive.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      they are such assholes

    • Count Awesome

      He’s not just the “Anti-Christ” but the “Anti-Working-Class-Hero”.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      What was that crap about fiscal responsibility again, Republicans?

      /FFS

      • Count Awesome

        That’s only a responsibility when Democrats are in charge.

      • jesterpunk

        They meant be born rich, just like personal responsibility means everything is Democrats fault.

    • yyyaz

      The really devious shit is occurring 24/7, nearly all in the dark, as the traitorous and pro-wrasslin’/soap opera shit sucks up all the oxygen.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Really. If you don’t have a big enough lump sum from selling your business to the ChiComms, what’s the point?

    • yyyaz
  • Kakariki
    • Alex Grey

      I’m stealing that image.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    After failed health-care vote, McConnell needs to go
    The health bill failure is one of the most dramatic flubs in Senate leadership history.

    The polls show Republicans badly trailing the Democrats ahead of the 2018 midterm elections.

    Mitch McConnell cannot survive for much longer as Senate majority leader in this climate.

    • If that meant something. They need to do differently than they did in December 2013.

      After that shutdown (Cruz) the Democrats led yugely.

      Less than a year later they were shellacked. The Senate alone flipping from 53 (D) to 46 (D), and next year 25 (D) seats are in play.

      The DNC and Dems need to get going, and they are not exactly visible—cannot rely on just watching the Drumpf dumpster fire

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Did you mean to link to the CNBC article with this title?

      If so, the tl;dr is delicious:

      After failed health-care vote, McConnell needs to go

      The health bill failure is one of the most dramatic flubs in Senate leadership history.

      The polls show Republicans badly trailing the Democrats ahead of the 2018 midterm elections.

      Mitch McConnell cannot survive for much longer as Senate majority leader in this climate.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jJkdRaa04g

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      The turtle hoisted himself up his own post.

  • Anna Rompage

    Is it just me, or does Anthony Scarmucci seem like an even smarmier version of Anthony Wiener?

  • kareemachan

    HOT DAMN!!! We’ll be there!!! My SO thinks I’m being a groupie, but too bad! ;-)

    The question is, what do you like to munch on, either high or otherwise? Any allergies?

    • Count Awesome

      Jolly Ranchers cause they fight cotton mouth.

      • kareemachan

        I tend to stay away from them – too much dental work…. But I can bring them for other people. I just need a nudge in the right direction, seeing we’ll be doing a walk-on on the ferry.

        • Suttree

          Kindness and intelligence. Possible hugs for our new Empress.

          • kareemachan

            I can do this! I am STOKED!!!!1!

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        and they’re good for making lean…

    • Anna Rompage

      I hear our editrix loves some home made tomato bruschetta, with home grown tomatoes…

    • Canned Covfefe

      You say that like they think that’s a bad thing

  • Anna Rompage
    • Alex Grey
      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        holmes is misspelled.

        • BloviateMe

          I once had to look up the word misspell, to make sure I didn’t misspell it.

          A humiliating moment for Blov.

        • Three Finger Salute

          I think it’s more “homes” as in “homey,” rather than Sherlock with his pipe. The cartoon is mocking conservatives’ fears about MMJ by making the doctor sound like an “urban” drug dealer.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos
          • Three Finger Salute

            I’m skeptical of Urban Dictionary’s version; after all it’s user contributed and could be spelled phonetically. I was always under the impression that Homes is an alternate or shortened version of Homey. Otherwise, that would mean the real spelling of Homey is is Holmey.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            friend, I’m from the border and grew up in a neighborhood with cholos – it’s holmes.

      • Three Finger Salute
        • Alex Grey

          How does cause and effect work again?

          • Three Finger Salute

            Scumbag Steve wouldn’t know, and neither would his pet troll Gollum Scheer. But of course, we know who does:

            The reason we are choosing to legalize and control marijuana is because the current system is not protecting our kids. Right now it’s easier for an underage Canadian, a teenager, to buy a joint than it is for them to get their hands on a bottle of beer. … That’s the main part of our legalization strategy, along with recognizing that criminal organizations and street gangs are making billions of dollars every single year off of the sale of marijuana, which they then funnel into other criminal activities. Can we change it? Can we put the sale of marijuana through at least a regulated and overseen frame that the government will put forward to make sure there’s quality control, make sure that profits aren’t going into illicit corners?

            We’re looking at it from a public health and safety standpoint, as opposed to some other places that legalized it on a commercial basis. That will come later. We’re going to put public health and safety right first.

            —Justin Trudeau, Bloomberg Businessweek, May 2017

            TL;DR: He wants to break the gangs and cartels by making weed legit and affordable, while at the same time making sure that people aren’t buying crap off the streets laced with fentanyl. Seems like a smart idea to me. Which is why the Crappers oppose it and why it’ll never happen here. So much for the “free market,” at least in the U$A.

          • Alex Grey

            Oregon has been taking in a lot of sweet sweet Amero’s from the 20% tax on legal pot. (17% for the state 3% for the city.)

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Well, to the republican’ts, cause is what the effect blames when it always fucks up.

          • Alex Grey

            Thanks Obama.

          • Three Finger Salute
        • Anna Rompage

          I almost thought that was Grover Norquist, before he hit puberty…

          • Three Finger Salute

            “I’m going to make Canada so small I can drown it in a melted hockey rink.”

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      there is way too much implied nudity there.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Kellyanne is this minute hyperventilating at the thought that her thighs have flesh attached to them.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Yeah, but who’s flesh is it this time?

    • Spurning Beer

      “Head back to camp. I’ve got nothing for you.”

      • OutOfOrbit

        and take your body with you

    • Anna Rompage

      Tillerson, he’s next to leave the island, isn’t he?

      • Seek

        The Rexxon Valdez is taking on water and beginning to list dangerously

    • Claire

      Sometimes you just need some good old-fashioned New York yellow journalism.

  • Rick Hill
    • Serai 1

      What? Synonym rolls are very popular in Dictionopolis. Why, the half-bakery can hardly keep them in stock!

      • therblig

        they look like the opposite of the ones my Aunt O’Nym used to make

  • Picabo
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    The Joy-Ann Reid article linked in the tweet is well worth reading:

    https://twitter.com/SarahLerner/status/891087539670405120

    • jowgajen

      Oh yeah, *now* you want the adults to come back and clean this shit up. Again. Mmmm hmmm.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    It feels weird not obsessively checking Twitter and the video feed from Congress.

  • bookish
  • Left Coast Tom

    “Open Thread” should appear in the post title if it’s not going to be the last post of the day.

    • Anna Rompage

      I concur… but we’re progressive grassroots types and are living on a tight budget…

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        We’re self-reliant bootstrap-liftin’ types over here (brastrap-liftin’, mostly), and we ain’t need no special directions. Why, I remember when we had to walk ten miles in the snow just to get to our open threads!

        • CripesAmighty

          Uphill. Both ways.

          • OutOfOrbit

            and there was no open ar eider end

    • hudson srinivasan

      i was so happy yesterday’s late breaking non-open thread had such healthy margins on the open thread. until this moron goes, i wish for many more late-breaking threads.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Seconded!

    • OutOfOrbit

      you get spanked too?

    • Serai 1

      I’ve been saying this for a while. It should be in capital letters, too.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Jesus Jazzhands Christ, this story. Wasn’t Dumbass just talking about the scourge of human trafficking this afternoon?
    https://twitter.com/grantstern/status/891088266379898880

    • Left Coast Tom

      As with most Republicans we should just assume that if Trump is condemning something it’s because he’s about to be exposed for doing it.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        I am almost certain that what you said could actually be codified into a physical law, like conservation of momentum or something.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I sincerely doubt he was ever a trans person in the military. Because of bone spurs.

        • Claire

          He didn’t condemn trans people so much as he just kicked them out of the way like last week’s garbage because they were getting in the way of funding his wall. Which might actually be worse, to be honest.

    • hudson srinivasan

      hello, sir. you are not from around here, are you?

    • jesterpunk
      • Alex Grey

        You didn’t divide by 0 did you!?!?

        • jesterpunk

          No that is just the projection from Republicans visible from space.

          • Alex Grey

            But aren’t we in “the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy?”

          • jesterpunk

            That is how powerful their projection is and why the Earth had to be paved over for the bypass.

    • Stulexington

      Everything is projection with these wingnuts, everything! It’s to the point that I’m half worried Alex Jones has a human trafficking ring working out of the basement of some restaurant.

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    Had big shrimp in cocktail sauce (the only reason to eat shrimp – to convey the cocktail sauce) cheese, crackers, salad that was spicy good, prosciutto, salami, grapes, and a knockout bottle of Lodi wine (old vine Zinfandel) (reasonable @ 15.99) And I am ready to relax………long drive to a wake and funeral on Sunday……….oh well…….I love ya wonks, must be the wine talkin’…………

    • Anna Rompage

      I made cocktail sauce from “scratch” one time for my sweetie, and she was totally blown away…

      Katchup, fresh horseradish, and a little fresh lemon juice…

      • Jeffocaster in the West

        My sweetie does that for me. She always gets the right balance of horseradish with the rest. Hard to find pre-made that is that good.

        • Anna Rompage

          Hard to find premade that good…

          Shush your mouth, nothing beats homemade!

      • Suttree

        Don’t forget the garlic.

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        Nothing is as good as fresh horseradish! I have also made Bloody Marys with tomato juice, celery salt, fresh horseradish and Worcestershire sauce and some celery stalks.

        • Anna Rompage

          I can’t say I’m fond of it in my bloody Mary’s, but I do love some fresh horseradish cream on a baked potato…

          • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

            I actually prefer “virgin Mary’s” that way, to be honest. Ooooh, on a baked potato! What a great idea! May have to try that TONIGHT!

      • Count Awesome

        I make a cocktail sauce using miso soup as a base. I sweat out tomatoes, garlic, shallot, a little fresh grated Ginger and then add the bonito flakes and konbu and let it simmer for ½ an hour. While it’s simmering I rehydrate dried casacabel, Morita, and arbol chilés. After the tomato dashi has cooked for half an hour I cool it and then add the rehydrated chills, puree it, straight it and then add a little white miso to taste and puree it all again.

        • kareemachan

          Gonna try this pronto. Thanks!

    • Count Awesome

      Old Vine Zin from Amador county can be a really good deal also. I think Zinfandel can get a little too raisin-y though.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Absolutely. The soils and climate of the foothills rock. Favorite so far:
        https://amadorwine.com/dobra-zemlia/

        • Count Awesome

          “Terra d’Oro” was the one that really grabbed my attention. It was balanced and not too raisin-y.

      • Anna Rompage

        You know amador country zin?

        Those are the very bestest IMHO…

        My sweety’s family has property there and we do a wine tour every couple of years.

        Holy shit, there is some amazing wines back in those Hills!

        • Count Awesome

          I really like “Terra d’Oro” winery from Amador, but they’ve become a little pricey now. Zinfandel seems to do really well there and a lot of times I get a decent bang for my buck.

      • kareemachan

        We have a soft spot for Clos du Bois, as we visited it on our honeymoon, and still have a half-bottle of late harvest gevurtz for our 40th….

        • Count Awesome

          Clos due Bois used to make an excellent and affordable Cabernet Sauvignon. I think they have moved away from what made them successful, but that also might be because American vintners chose to move away from Bordeaux/Claret blends to focus solely on straight Cabernet to keep up with the extreme higher end California Cabernets like “Screaming Eagle” and “Harlan’s Ridge”. For California Cabernet I’ve always found that Caymus is far and above every other California Cab because they do tend to make a blend and have a remarkable consistency of great wine. It is cost though.

  • Apple Scruff

    For anyone who didn’t see this… LOLZ and kind of amazing.

    https://www.facebook.com/thedailyshow/videos/10155628376506800/

    • Jamoche

      He knows what Trump is looking for and he delivers.

    • Stulexington

      Mirroring, basic manipulation technique.

      • Apple Scruff

        Mirroring is also a sign of infatuation.

        Anthony and Donald sitting in a tree…

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Any Maine residents here tonight (or anyone familiar with politics up there?) If so–how viable is this idea?

    https://twitter.com/HillaryIsComing/status/891091998828113922

    • hudson srinivasan

      thanks ma’m.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      “compassionate defender of those in need” … She doesn’t need to defect, the Republic Party will kick her out.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    https://youtu.be/KoVePe0jldU

    New poll! I’m voting for Bannon.

    • hudson srinivasan

      dibs on aot, k.

    • Vincent Ricola

      I vote Kushner. He seems like the real Littlefinger in that messy White House.

      • NellCote71

        Exactly. Good call.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Trump, he’s the one who unleashed this hellspawn onto the nation.

      Unless you count Putin, who unleashed Trump.

    • jesterpunk

      AOT.K?

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Hudson called dibs. :)

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      If forced to choose I’ll go with Bannon, if only for all the work he has done to re-legitimize white supremacists. But really AOTK, of course.

    • Claire

      Has to be Bannon. The rest of them don’t actually want to bring down Western civilization and burn minorities at the stake in the streets, they just want to make money hand over fist. I feel like the rest of them don’t care if everyone else in the country becomes millionaires overnight as long as they get to have their 5th Avenue penthouses and private planes.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Putin.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I voted for Ivanka. And my comment?

      I said Ivanka because the girl is squirrelly. But underneath it all, she’s pulling strings. She’s probably engineering, or dare I say “architecting”, her husband’s activities. Very, very sinister.

      ETA link https://www.patreon.com/TheRingofFire

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Thanks.

    • SisterArtemis

      Do I get to choose Mitch McConnell? Because, for me, he’s the worst. But I guess not actually in the WH, just abetting them :(

    • kareemachan

      AOTA.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Quote of the night: “I wasn’t buying meat, but he took me to the impound lot.” from a woman drinking pop from a 64oz cup. How Midwestern can you get!

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Wait we might have a challenger: I was tripping in the middle of Lake Heron…

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      OMG! She’s an artist from MCAD! Depressed because her “abortion of a painting!” –her words. God I love this town.

      • janecita

        Where are you? And what are you doing?

        • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

          At a bar talking art.

          • janecita

            Ask her to show you a picture of her aborted art. I wonder what it looks like.

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    So it is 1200 miles from Montana wonketteland to New Mexico land, so if I put up $300 in gas money will the Wonkebago come our way? (Even HuffPost is having some thing here in NM, although it is ABQ…tssspppp…….) So whaddaya say Wonkette fearless leader? I got a wine cellar….and except for a few reserved for anniversaries, it may be open…..ah come on,…..I gotta yurt…..

    • BloviateMe

      Give ’til it yurts.

    • msanthropesmr

      You are 60 miles from the nearest grocery.

      • Jeffocaster in the West

        45 and so what!

        • Canned Covfefe

          *chuckle*

    • msanthropesmr

      Hey – respond to your son’s IM.

      • Jeffocaster in the West

        Done

        • msanthropesmr

          Again.

          • Jeffocaster in the West

            done again

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      depending on the NM city, I might have to come.

      • msanthropesmr

        Soccoro is the closest city of note. And that’s a ways.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          i…i could do that.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            if I had a place to crash for the night.

            Or I could do it in the van.

          • Jeffocaster in the West

            Yurt, there is a yurt and rooms and running water and everything

          • msanthropesmr

            Does your van have a Rush album cover painted on the side?

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            it’s a minivan and I’m not canadian….so no.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          south or north of Socorro?

          • Jeffocaster in the West

            West

          • Left Coast Tom

            Hmm…I have the Gila Wilderness on my “I should hike there sometime” list, and that seems to be in the neighborhood, sort of, ish.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            well worth it- hit Silver City and head north. You can hit the hot springs, check out the cliff dwelling and go look for Messican wolves

          • janecita

            That’s a funny name for a city, “Help.”

          • msanthropesmr

            It says what we are all thinking.

          • msanthropesmr

            There’s a Ruidoso nearby…

          • janecita

            Maybe that’s why that other city is asking for help, because its neighbor is noisy.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            don’t even ask about Truth or Consequences

        • dlemex

          I went to school at NMIMT in Socorro. It was when the first Alien movie came out (which we all saw at the drive-in). Many of us had the movie poster which we changed to… In Socorro no-one can hear you scream. (Shut up, I know I am a old). Also too I worked at the VLA based there.

          • John Thorstensen

            diemex — When I was a foolish young kid and a great fan of flying saucer stories, there was a famous alien sighting story that took place in Soccorro — Policeman Lonnie Zamora said he’d seen a big egg-shaped craft with little guys next to it. You could look it up. I guess it would’ve been about 1966.

          • dlemex

            Never heard that story. Socorro really is a little hole in the wall town but I did think New Mexico was a beautiful place at least in late 70’s and early 80’s.

    • janecita

      Tell me more about this wine cellar. Seriously, could you post a picture? We are building one, and need ideas:-)

      • msanthropesmr

        Put wine in a room.
        ETA – Drink as necessary

        • janecita

          That’s what we have been doing. We want a proper, spiffy cellar!

          • OutOfOrbit

            put wine in a room & cover it with dirt

          • janecita

            You guys are no help! 😝

          • Jeffocaster in the West

            I got a video I am awaiting on the intertubes. Anyway, it was a sauna because everyone in the desert needs a sauna. We converted it because it was dig into the ground in the front of the house next to the crawlspace. It stays fairly cool even on the 90 degree days.

          • OutOfOrbit

            we know. we sowwee

          • Left Coast Tom

            How much do you want to spend? I have a friend who added a high-end wine cellar – it’s on a separate air conditioning zone from the rest of the house, and he has an argon-filled window so he can look into the cellar from his dining room.

            I’ve seen a construction company pickup truck around here advertising “wine cellars” as one of their main things (SF Bay Area).

          • janecita

            Like around $3,500, we are building it ourselves. I’m in NJ.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      It’s in Skwerl range!

    • msanthropesmr

      Hey – have you found/looked for the tool for the Tacoma valves?

      • Jeffocaster in the West

        No

        • msanthropesmr

          :(

    • Anna Rompage

      Nobody want to hear about your Mongolian toe nail fungus!

      Just kidding, we’ve got a yurt too! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9aa08ebac2de7075a5eb44adb42a47bafcf845049dac68d513c60923760dbe1d.jpg

      • OutOfOrbit

        aint gonna open that one nope i aint

      • Jeffocaster in the West

        Nice. We have a 20 foot diameter. high wall Pacific Yurt. Previous owner lived in it while house was built

        • Anna Rompage

          This is only a 16 footer, but works well for housing visitors, and my sweeties massage practic

      • janecita

        That’s an awesome yurt, now I want one.

        • therblig

          ms. blig wants a yurt. i often find myself leaning towards a little teardrop trailer.

          • kareemachan

            Them be cute too, also.

      • Rick Hill

        Yurt kidding.

      • kareemachan

        I heart yurts!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    That’s because he figures the generals are supposed to listen to him. WTF would people in the military for decades know compared to a reality TV star?

    https://twitter.com/Slate/status/891058663284146176

    • hudson srinivasan

      that tweet with 9 mins gap? people where worried he is going to attack north korea or something.

  • Jamoche
    • Zippy W Pinhead

      what a douchebag..

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Little Babby Donnie’s bone spurs were acting up again.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Why would anyone go to work in this environment?

      • Left Coast Tom

        Ms. Scaramucci seems to have found a lawyer asking the same question.

      • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

        An excellent question for Kelly.

    • Serai 1

      What a disgusting bag of vomit he is.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • OrG

      Oooh, that sounds like fun.

    • Alex Grey

      Unfortunately if he uses nuclear weapons, he’ll vaporize himself too. Wait did I say “unfortunate?”

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        It is unfortunate for all of us collateral damage.

        • Alex Grey

          I know, plus he would probably give the order from Mar-a-Lago.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Donald Trump is about to find out what happens when you go to war with the Dems, the GOP, the IC, and the media. It’s not going to be pretty (for him, I’ll think it’s delightful).

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Does he know that they can and will override his veto? *pops some corn*

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Oh, then he’ll be really mad. He might even get on TV and go “RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH!”

        • Left Coast Tom

          He needs to announce stuff like this in advance, hopefully his new “Chief[sic] of Staff” will work on that. I’d break out one of my aged bottles of wine for this, but I’d need to know before I open a delicious Zinfandel instead.

      • Count Awesome

        “Crooked Houses of Congress are imposing their will in me. Sad! Pathetic! Fake vote!”
        –Trump

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        I’m going to copyright “Fake-Congress”.

        (C) 2017, Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Ya think maybe “going to war” with the legislative body that’s currently protecting his ass from impeachment is a good idea? Proceed, Mr. “President.”

      • Claire

        Well, he’s already gone to war with the IC that has the rope to hang him, he might as well.

      • OutOfOrbit

        yes, plz do, be our guest

      • Count Awesome

        This time it’s not a war with “VD”.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Never interrupt the enemy when he is taking careful aim at his own dick.

      • hudson srinivasan

        shh.

        it is a great idea. brilliant even.

    • Claire

      If there has ever been a piece of legislation with a veto-proof majority, it’s this one. Trump can rant and rave and wield the veto stamp to his little heart’s content; this is still going to become law.

      • dlemex

        Actually if Trump was competent, he would sign it and add a signing statement claiming the restrictions on his power are unconstitutional and directing staff to ignore them. I don’t agree with signing statements but they can be effective until they get resolved in court. But thankfully he is an ass that thinks he is king. If his veto is overridden, the bill stands as is and he cannot claim otherwise… at least not easily.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          And everyone around him is ignorant and/or he doesn’t listen to them.
          My favorite signing statement was the one Obama added to the “sue foreign government” law that McConnell pushed. The GOP was real quick to override and then cried “but he didn’t tell us!” Idiots.

    • Serai 1

      What irony that Trump is getting into the same position as Obama vis-a-vis his relationship with Congress.

      • Paperless Tiger

        So much for the hostile takeover. It works in business because you can fire everybody. So much for the business model also too.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Works until you fire people and then realize you need them. Has happened to me more than once. There was only one situation where I went back, and only because I was a contractor, not an employee.

          • Serai 1

            I figure it’ll be about six months before he runs out of people willing to work for him.

        • Serai 1

          Must be frustrating for Twitler that he can’t just call a hit on somebody. Now if he gets rid of someone, they’re free to sing to anyone they want.

    • Picabo

      Something, something “Scarface”

      • RMKH

        “Say hello to my little hands”?

      • Count Awesome

        “Say hello to my little hands!”

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Hahahahahahahahaha!

    • Count Awesome

      Hahahaha. They’re going to ram it down his throat and ask him how it tastes.

      • I won’t be surprised if they water it down with “The President met with us and convinced us to give him some room so that we can tackle the N. Korean situation. Also Obama deal worse with Iran” or some BS

      • Joe Beese

        EAT IT! EAT IT!

        • Count Awesome

          It’s going to be a brutal BDSM face fuck. Lol

      • Spurning Beer

        Down his throat? Quite the opposite.

        • Count Awesome

          The Senate and House are going to “spit-roast” him.

    • RMKH

      That’s probably what he actually wants. He’s not happy unless there is maximum clusterfuckness. Bannon the same. I can just hear the diabolical laughter. We need to remember that applying normal thinking (like wanting to get along, accomplish something, etc) to those pricks is a mistake. All they want is to tear the whole shithouse down.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Then he’s even dumber than we thought

    • Which is what is going to point strongly towards collusion.

      THIS was the “adoptions” deal in Drumpf Tower.

      And Putin already responded with counter-sanctions because he sees that Drumpf is not going to pull it off.

      Meanwhile Mooch said he might veto it to make it “even tougher” Wonder how many cocks they will be sucking together

    • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

      This is exactly what I expect him to do. So he can tell Pooty that he tried.

      Then Pooty be all like Pat Hingle in the “The Grifters” when he finds out Anjelica Huston has been stealing from him.

    • jaspersdad

      Good. Going to war with Congress will only create more animosity.

    • Shibusa

      Oh but didn’t The Mooch assure us that Trump will come up with even “tougher sanctions” for Russia than the US Congress did? As fucking if.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Heading out for some snoozing. This got me in the feels tonight. A panel by Berkeley Breathed: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/de0cbb06f63f3c600df813acdb0dd73b1d9fe725020fb9fc09caf6fd3f4882c2.jpg

    • SisterArtemis

      That’s been a rather dramatic turn this last week, with Sam the Lion’s story arc. I’ve been quite touched. Also giggled more than once.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        He is such a great story-teller, and a true lover of humanity.

  • NorthernSaber

    Ok- recovering jazz cat here. If this is indeed the open thread then I guess I can just vamp- love some modal stuff, let’s say G7 to start? The other threads, it seems to me, are more like “So What”- we’ve license to create, even to play some outside, but when that D-7 goes to Eflat-7 we damned well better be on the same wavelength (even you fucking bass players…)
    Make sense?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Dm is the saddest of all keys

      • NorthernSaber

        Why? Lots of tunes centered around Dm, that’s for sure. If I’m blowing modal in Dm and have the time I love to throw in an ascending line down a half-step for some tension, then resolve back to the V or so. Or used to, anyway…

        • OrG

          Spinal Tap reference.

          • NorthernSaber

            Oh shit- missed that completely! Well, in my group we went through a shit-ton of drummers until we got The One. Never got anybody fried, though!

        • Zippy W Pinhead
      • Serai 1

        I don’t know why, it just makes people weep.

    • msanthropesmr

      As a bass player – screw you buddy. At least I’m not ahead of the beat.

      • NorthernSaber

        Sorry! I had a bass guy whose shit was pretty happening but who would fuck that modulation up on a regular basis…

  • Picabo
    • Anna Rompage
    • Spurning Beer

      She’s 70!!??!

      • OrG

        Why it was only 40 some years ago she was on “All In The Family”.

        • Jamoche

          If I can remember watching it in first run, it can’t be that old!

          • OrG

            It’s only like 6 in dog years.

    • Wild Cat

      It’s forgotten now, but All in the Family was revolutionary. People stayed home on Saturday night to see what the show would pull.
      And it’s perversely relevant now, as many of those fucking up the nation now come from a similar white-supremacist background in Queens/Long Island (aka “The Assholes I Grew up With). They’re the twits who loved Archie.

      • BosGrl

        It’s popular again because just when you thought it was dated, it has become topical. The difference is, Archie had a heart and was capable of growth. I don’t know about the current crop of RWNJ.

        • Wild Cat

          Yeah, O’Connor’s character over 15 years went through many changes—and a different series. The lasting legacy is that Norman Lear made so much dough that decade he still has own liberal lobbying group going.

          • Steely_Fan

            Also, too, Rob Reiner, one of the smartest, funniest, progressive voices in Hollywood.

      • SisterArtemis

        I was a young teen when it came on. My bleeding heart liberal parents pretty much required us to watch it with them, but didn’t have any trouble getting us to become addicts of the show.

        • Wild Cat

          I loved the show; that whole Sat nite lineup was great. But being preteen, aside from politics, the ‘frank talk’ and ethnic slurs were also appealing.

        • Jamoche

          I was a very small child; in retrospect, I suspect my dad watched it because he identified with Archie.

        • Serai 1

          I attribute my rejection of racism to Star Trek and All in the Family. Those two shows, appearing as they did right at the age when I was forming opinions on life, shaped my ideas about how people ought to act towards each other.

      • Three Finger Salute
      • Serai 1

        It was a brilliant series, and Carroll O’Connor created a truly memorable character, iconic even (and I don’t use that word lightly). He crafted a really complex portrait over the years. I still watch some of those episodes.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Count Awesome

    Between Trump and “The Mooch” are there really enough Tic-Tacs to go around for the rest of us?

    • msanthropesmr

      I worry about the hair grease shortage.

      • Paperless Tiger

        Not to mention the air suckage.

      • Count Awesome

        The Oval Office must have piles of what I assume to be talcum powder everywhere now.

    • BosGrl

      Mooch does Binaca, which he keeps deep in the front pocket of his designer jeans. He keeps a banana comb in the back pocket.

      • Count Awesome

        A pair of rolled up socks in the crotch too, also?

        • BosGrl

          Oh definitely.

      • Rags

        And Axe body spray in abundance.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      No. Just go for the bleach.

  • Jamoche

    https://www.ericdsnider.com/movies/the-emoji-movie/

    Hating “The Emoji Movie” is easy, not to mention fun, necessary, and appropriate. It’s like Trump. Though it represents humanity’s worst tendencies (laziness, vulgarity, cynicism) and we groan under the indignities suffered at its cartoonish hands, there’s comfort in having an enemy who’s entirely despicable. You can blast away all day long and never feel like you’ve gone too far.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      It scores a whopping 6% on Rotten Tomatoes, and the two “fresh” reviews basically read like “well, I’ll give them credit for trying”.

    • Count Awesome

      How can you make a compelling movie when your main characters are only supposed to demonstrate one emotion?

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I was surprised at the actor talent that they got for voicing. But it’s a paycheck, right?
      Right, Patrick Stewart? Right, Maya Rudolf?

      • Serai 1

        I say good for them. If people really do want to pay money to eat shit, why shouldn’t a good actor in his golden years make a bit of bank off it?

  • Three Finger Salute

    No, Melania. Don’t even talk to Harry. Don’t talk to Justin and don’t even talk to the queen’s puppy dog. Just sit in the fucking penalty box and pout for the camera.

    As Melania Trump prepares trip to Toronto to attend Invictus Games, will she tease Prince Harry like the Obamas did?

    Someone in the comments is reporting that Trump has a girlfriend (wtf…?!?) in Florida. Which makes me wonder if it’s actually that Dolphins cheerleader who all of a sudden up and left her husband because “he didn’t like Trump”. Should have figured 45 was ready to trade in his 45-year-old for a younger blonde. As is his tradition.

    Meanwhile, Sophie and Megan are getting in #Formation to lock out Balkan Becky with the fake face and dyed hair.

    http://68.media.tumblr.com/2b588c9d1733d4903985556b05eb4da5/tumblr_nkwzk7ILJm1rqgjz2o1_540.png

  • Zippy W Pinhead
  • Joe Beese
  • Count Awesome

    Someone else will eat Trump out so I’m just going to leave this here:

    https://youtu.be/Dd-xs9YDunU

  • Picabo

    Born on this date in 1943, Richard Wright. “He was a founder member, keyboardist, and vocalist of the progressive rock band Pink Floyd, performing on all but one of the group’s albums including The Piper at the Gates of Dawn, The Dark Side of the Moon, Wish You Were Here and The Division Bell, and playing on all of their tours.”

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Wait, are they saying Floyd is prog??

      • NorthernSaber

        Has there ever been a genre subject to more debate about its members?

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Fair point. But Pink Floyd, prog? C’mon.

          • NorthernSaber

            Yeah- prog for me is an 11-minute epic with 7/4, 6/4, and 5/4 bars chasing each other through an ABACAB form. So-Rush, early Genesis, Kansas (until the 80’s shit), Yes. Floyd? Certainly left-of-center, but not Prog to me.

    • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

      I thought “Native Son” was harrowing.

      Oh wait.

      Never mind.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Publishing a novel three years before your birth is a hell of a trick…

  • Peripatetic Poltroon

    Glad to see that you’re not dragging a shark. Ugh.

  • Vorhees

    This was one of those days where I felt like I just couldn’t keep up…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOknff1mXQc

  • Maclare 🍹
  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    No cognac and cigar tonight. In fact I’m taking my Seroquel and going to bed.

    I can’t drink any alcohol with the Seroquel because the result is like overdosing on both Seroquel and alcohol at the same time. It knocks me on my butt for two fucking days! I have to keep a four hour time difference minimum between the two.

    I’m just fucking tired of all of this drama with trump and his maladministration. I’m exhausted and my vices don’t help me when I’m in this state. Only blessed sleep.

    I hate to say this but even being a snarky sumbitch isn’t working very well anymore.

    Fuck, eye sockets, flaming votes & etc.

    • I agree that we really do need a lot more nicetimes. I’m turning off the tv for the weekend, except for when I’m playing the PS4.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        I’m not watching anything but brain candy. Tonight? MasterChef and Beat Shazam and then a movie. Tomorrow? I’ll find something to binge.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    A fistfight just broke out over Rothko paintings. ..still love this town.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      I am not a violent person (copious cursing of political enemies =/= violence), but for a Rothko painting, I could do things that would put me in prison, stat.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Now THAT’S my kinda barfight!
      Love love love Rothko.

      • msanthropesmr

        Said with drunken slur…”Fuck you buddy, Jasper Johns is where its at…”

        • alpacapunchbowl

          I like Jasper Johns too, but naw dude.
          Team Rothko.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Everything I know about Rothko I learned from this:

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hA3zV6CcbvY

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Oh, I LOVED that program! I wish they would make more.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            It is pretty great…Andy Serkis as Van Gogh in one episode, and in this one, Simon Schama plays his younger self, in a very fun, light-hearted way.

    • msanthropesmr

      Doris Lessing, Doris Lessing / She’s a writer who knows all there is about trucks
      Doris Lessing – next to her all them other writers suck
      SO I met a man who said Fay Weldon was real fine
      I knocked him clear across the county line.

    • BloviateMe

      I trust it was based on confusion whether it was a color chart from Rodda or an actual painting.

    • Where??? Where???

    • Wild Cat

      Pollock: Color field painting has to be filled with a slather of blood!

      Rothko: Fuck you, you drunk! I use Kaopectade and Red Dye #5 like Herschell Gordon Lewis, you putz!

  • BMW
    • BloviateMe

      Dang, she unleashed the Cruciatus curse on the youngster.

    • jowgajen

      Reality is hard.

    • MynameisBlarney

      I fucking love J.K. Rowling!

      • Lefty Wright

        Who? Must be a Britisher, she said amongst. Since when were non-Americans allowed to comment here. In fact since when has anyone been allowed to comment here.

        • MynameisBlarney

          I think she wrote a book or two, that may or may not have been made into a couple of movies.
          From what I’ve heard, and this pure gossip, mind you…but I heard that her works met with moderate success.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Really great, people are gonna be talking a lot about her.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Yup, more and more.

          • Eulamvelasquez

            Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !aw323d:
            On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            !aw323d:
            ➽➽
            ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash613FinderWinPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::!aw323l..,.

    • Thiazin Red

      Accio Burn.

    • hudson srinivasan
    • CptnEng2311

      Wow. That was like one of those “one punch” boxing matches. Proving the negative, and the affirmative, and the hypocrisy, and the lying, and the willful ignorance, all in two sentences. Damn.

      • BloviateMe

        “Flawless victory.”

    • Serai 1

      Gods, I love her. Never was much of a Potter enthusiast, but I do worship his author.

      • Jim Gormley

        She has another series of books…noirish detective…under pseudonym of Robert Galbraith. PDG

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Does Lahren have a job yet? And yes, Sex Work is work, so that counts.

  • Thiazin Red

    Damn expired passport, can’t buy real cold medicine.

    • BosGrl

      You need a passport for Sudafed? Is the pharmacy over the border?

      • Thiazin Red

        The real Nyquil they keep behind the counter you need an ID for. Apparently neither I nor anyone else had noticed that my passport has been expired for months.

        • Paperless Tiger

          Try whiskey and dope.

          • Thiazin Red

            Weed smells like decomposing skunk carcasses to me.

          • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

            THIS.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            it’s also not healthy when you’re sick…

          • Wild Cat

            Hydro or vape, yo.

          • Alex Grey

            Then you are smoking shit weed. Cigarettes are vastly more foul smelling.

          • Thiazin Red

            I’ve smelled “good” weed it doesn’t smell better.

        • BosGrl

          Ugh. Sounds like a lot of trouble for cold medicine. :(

      • NorthernSaber

        We can’t get Sudafed anywhere in northern Maine anymore- meth-heads were buying it up by the case. True story…

        • alpacapunchbowl

          I didn’t know they even made that anymore. Sudafed was the BEST.

        • BosGrl

          Jeez. When did the passport vs. ID change? Was it during W?

          • NorthernSaber

            Think so. Makes living in a border town a lot less fun than it used to be. Twenty years ago we’d just nip over for a donair- now you better have your papers in order. Frequent crossers can, though, get a sort of short-form i.d. that Customs will accept. Right after 9/11 was hairy, that’s for sure!

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            It’s a card. I got one when I was interviewing for a job that required travel to Canada. I did not get the job, but I do still have the card.

          • NorthernSaber

            Gotta get mine- can see Canada from my house. (Not Russia though!)

          • Three Finger Salute

            Russia is our house now. Justin can see it from his house.

          • Kakariki

            Since I live in San Diego, the last time I renewed my passport I also got one of the passport cards you can use at the Mexican (and Canadian) border crossing. Although I haven’t crossed it in over 20 years, it could happen.

          • Thiazin Red

            You can use other ID, but I live in Manhattan and haven’t driven a car in over a decade so my drivers licence is very expired.

          • NorthernSaber

            Unless you want to spend a HUGE amount of time trying to convince American customs that you are American I’d stringly recommend you bring your passport. The Canadians will let you across- it’s getting back that’s the issue.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          they don’t make you show ID and limit your purchases?

          • NorthernSaber

            Nope- couple of the big chains pulled it because of a MASSIVE meth problem in Washington and southern Aroostook counties. We only had a couple big players to begin with, so that was that. Lots of fucked up lost souls out in Trump’s America…

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            I thought it was nationwide at this point, most states require ID and limit you to only a few packages a month (they calculate by the gram, so it depends upon the brand). It sucks being made to feel like a tweaker just because you have allergies

          • NorthernSaber

            It does. Last time I had a sick kid I had an understanding pharmacist call around to find me some “real” Sudafed- the last, I’d wager, that could be bought there. Yeah- rural Maine is a fucking mess.

      • You need a DL or passport in CT, also.

        • Alex Grey

          Stupid Oregon decided that you have to have a prescription to get Sudafed. When every bordering state will just sell it to you, with an ID.

  • Count Awesome

    “Dear Pope Frankie,
    A big mistake happened and we regret it. Can you grant an annulment?
    –The Senate and House of Representatives

    • mancityRed6

      too late, it was consummated when you didn’t denounce him.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    OFFS–from the NYT’s coverage of Spicey’s departure:

    He expressed no bitterness about his removal. “I’m always going to be a
    Trump fan,” he said. “I’m on Team Trump, and I look forward to helping
    him achieve his goals and his agenda for the American people.”

    https://godshotspot.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/fast-easy-accounting-206-361-3950-helps-contractors-overcome-stockholm-syndrome-for-change-order-management.png

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Gonna need a lot of deneuralyzers…

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        Maybe Foxconn will build a beautiful new factory.

    • Alex Grey

      “Oregon Syndrome”
      A psychological phenomenon in which citizens, express their views through votes, to say “Fuck You” to the DEA, regarding substances that are less harmful than alcohol.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      First rule of wingnut welfare is, don’t complain about your “betters”.

    • theCryptofishist

      I find this interesting, because for the last 30 years, or so, the American type-specimen of Stockholm Syndrome was Patricia Hearst–but except for the original incident, there weren’t any others. It wasn’t a thing except in those 2 cases. I was starting to wonder if it was just fading out. So, to me, it’s interesting to see it crop up again.

  • SadDemInTex

    Will it read “Stupid Button”?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Jamoche

      Kind of shocking that she thinks it’s shocking, actually.

      • BloviateMe

        I’m shocked that you’re shocked that she’s shocked.

    • mancityRed6

      strict rules and procedures, but you can keep your job if you don’t follow them?

    • Anna Rompage

      1 police dept gets it, 140,635 to go…

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        According to Google, they have had a problem in Suffolk County with police bananagins. And they have gangs to battle, too.

        • theCryptofishist

          How many Suffolk Counties are there?

          And has anyone made the joke, “Hey, how about a nice Suffolk Punch?” yet.

    • Spoken like a true Law Enforcement Officer. I am waiting to hear from the rest.

  • mancityRed6

    so google news, tell me more about Reince getting shitcanned…
    oh Delaney? why do I care?
    one story on Priebus getting very unceremoniously dumped and a billion on Delaney and more on the failure of the GOP senate.

    • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

      “failure of the GOP Senate”

      SHEER POETRY!

      • Alex Grey

        Can’t we just put McConnell on his back, in the sun already!?

      • Count Awesome

        They have no ideas besides “I’m against the black guy and everything he accomplished.”

        • Latverian Diplomat

          The Ghost of Strom Thurmond fails to see the problem.

          • Count Awesome

            What does his Mulatto daughter think?

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Oddly enough, to her, he was Daddy. He paid the bills. She moved to CA and had a great career after college.

          • Count Awesome

            Good for her!!!

          • theCryptofishist

            And, hate to say it, but at least he did the proper thing.

        • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

          And billionaires need moar tax cuts.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Oh, God, I hope this is true. Talk, Reince, talk!

    https://twitter.com/KaivanShroff/status/891055957643595776

    • OMG!!! C’mon, Reince, spill it all!!!

    • MynameisBlarney
      • Courser_Resistance

        I love the way that guy just snaps that quad chair out. For me it looks more like a battle with an octopus.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          If it makes you feel better, it took 23 takes(*). :)

          (*) It’s possible I made that up. But still, you do feel better now?

          • Courser_Resistance

            Lol! I think it’s spring-loaded. Not that it really matters, it’s the visual that’s great.

    • alpacapunchbowl
    • Count Awesome

      Trump is a dumbass. I am a lowly cook sometimes a non-disclosure contract is something you have to sign depending on where and who you work for.

    • Serai 1
    • Latverian Diplomat

      Are NDA’s really a thing at the White House?
      a) How is that enforceable, and
      b) Given the laws on secrecy etc. what possible justification is there?

      • shivaskeeper

        IIRC Two Scoops wanted everyone to sign personal NDA’s. Even the Secret Service. Same as he would in his business dealings.

        The Secret Service pretty mush told him to fuck off which was the reason he wanted to keep his mercenary security detail.

        Other than any NDA’s that had to be signed with regards to classified info, no one would have been required to sign his personal ones. They may have to secure whatever job, but there is no law saying they had to.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          So, just another case of Trump violating established norms because he’s an ignorant bully.

    • La forza del resistino

      I sense a snowmobile accident in WI this winter coming.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      He won’t say nothing. While he’s not loyal to Trump, he is loyal to his butt-buddy, Paul Ryan

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Turns out, Kelly is the only one in the Cabinet that can count to 50. So, he got the job.

    • Count Awesome

      He must also know how to “cradle the balls.”

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson
        • Count Awesome

          Libelz. You can’t put your right hand over your heart when you do t have a heart.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Also see Cheney, Dick; Ghouliani, Rudy; Gingrich, Newt.

          • BosGrl

            If they only had a brain…

          • Count Awesome

            Or courage.
            Or a soul.

    • BosGrl

      Just found out he’s from Brighton, MA. Sorry, everybody.