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WOAH, it is Thirsty Thursday already, Wonketariat! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about while day drinking.

Trump is talking with his people about a recess appointment of a new AG if Sessions decides to “You’re Fired” himself. He’s really slamming that panic button hard, isn’t he?

The GOP is warning Trump not to “You’re Fired” Jeff Sessions, and some analysts speculate he’ll face an open revolt in Congress if he does.

Mitch McConnell’s SkeletonCare LOOKS like it might fail, and that has many people worried the whole thing could get dragged back to the House for bicameral negotiations where Congress will be forced into cramped quarters with shitty coffee and fast food just like the rest of America.

Obama may be tactfully silent on TrumpCare/SkeletonCare at the moment, but that’s because Bamz has a posse of healthcare professionals who are already hitting the pavement and the airwaves.

Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke called Alaska Senator Lisa Murkowski and threatened to pull energy and economic initiatives in response to no-votes on TrumpCare/SkeletonCare/whatever-the-fuck-it’s-called-today-care.

People on both sides of the aisle are fucking pissed at Trump’s transgender military ban. Even Joni Ernst laced up her bread bags and trudged out to make a statement against the policy.

Trump’s White House is trying to push tax reform but it’s being nitpicked by Treasury officials and economics advisors who actually use mathematics.

President Bannon wants to raise the a top marginal tax rate from 39.6 to 44 percent, and that has the super-rich super mad.

Congress is trying to fast-track the repeal of Obama-era environmental protections with a sneaky provision about bypassing public comment periods and judicial reviews even if environmental groups object. Call your congress person, unless you like swimming in sludge.

People are being forced to defend Jeff Sessions now that Trump is publicly beating him on the DC playground.

Moderate Republicans in the Tuesday Group are now banding together to thwart Paul Ryan and his constant hand-jobs to the House Freedom crazies.

Reince Priebus and The Mooch are fighting like man-babies, and now the Mooch has threatened to turn Priebus in to the FBI for “leaking” public documents to the press. AND THEN THIS MORNING The Mooch called into CNN and said, “150 years ago people would have been hung for those types of leaks.” Yep, this is the world we live in.

Rep. Trey “Howdy-Doody” Gowdy was acting like Prince Jared’s attorney according to Rep. Adam Schiff during a House Intel Committee meeting yesterday. Of course, Florida Republican Rep. Tom Rooney calls that “horseshit.”

Alabama Republican Rep. Mo Brooks is using the audio from the shooting of Rep. Steve Scalise in a primary attack ad for Jeff Sessions’s Senate seat against Luther Strange. There’s no joke here, this is some fucked up repugnant shit.

As if worrying about getting shot wasn’t bad enough, Chicago is now fighting lead in the water system by running some water fountains 24/7. Makes you wonder how many other cities have fucked up water lines, just like Flint and Detroit.

An NPO is suing the FCC for failing to comply with FOIA requests seeking communications records between the FCC, Ajit Pai, his staff, and telecom companies. You’d almost think Ajit Pai was trying to hide something.

The Senate and House made nice-nice on the Russian sanctions bill after including Iran and North Korea, as well as a provision to block Trump from releasing the pressure.

REXXON wants to kill off special envoys for a bunch of special interests that include food security, LGBT, cyber, Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Haiti, because he thinks there’s just too many bureaucrats looking out for the disenfranchised in Not America.

Trump has nominated Kansas’s god-awful governor Sam Brownback to head the Office of International Religious Freedom in the State Department, a move that’s sure to make all the gay-hatin’ eat-the-poo-poo people happy.

Somebody went rummaging through the garbage so they could find Ken Starr and make him write an an op-ed asking Trump top “cut it out.”

Mike Pence went on Tucker Carlson to prop up Trump’s “candid” remarks on Twitter about Jeff Sessions. Maybe he’s trying to one-up Julia Louis Dryfus?

Matt Drudge isn’t really flashing his sirens for Trump, and that has many people waving red flags considering how much traffic he drives.

Eric Trump went on Fox & Friends to express his sadness over a lack of bootlicking and free rimjobs.

Trump spawn love using social media to shill fascist bullshit where the only filters are whether or not they should use lens flare or film grain. #NoFilter.

One of those dancing with dumbasses gameshows wants Spicey to make a fool out of himself on national television, and I WANT THIS TO HAPPEN.

Michelle Obama went to the Women’s Foundation of Colorado’s 30th anniversary to talk about all her hates, and give advice to people suffering racial prejudice from ignorant jerks.

And here’s your late night wrap-up! Stephen Colbert realized that The Mooch was the one leaking FROM INSIDE the White HouseSeth Meyers doesn’t want to be friends with “Pickle”; The Daily Show took aim at Trump’s trans-ban; Samantha Bee ‘splain’d the GOP’s magical tax bullshit called the Laffer Curve; and James Corden had a FABULOUS song and dance for the LGBT.

And here’s your morning Nice Time! A baby gorilla! He’s so silly!

We’re busting our butts and drowning our livers over here, and we need your help! Give us money!

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  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
    • Jim Johnson

      Jared? Is that you with the table manners lesson? You are so sweet!

  • armed_bears
  • Nounverb911
  • La forza del resistino

    Mooch, Hannity and Donald sit down for dinner and at dessert, Tony ‘One Scoop’ Scaramucci is reminded of his place in life.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    The GOP is warning Trump not to “You’re Fired” Jeff Sessions, and some analysts speculate he’ll face an open revolt in Congress if he does.

    You realize Trump is like a cat that sees a cup on the edge of a table and is told not to push it over right?

  • Nounverb911
    • cmd resistor

      Idiot.

  • coozledad

    The Checkers Speech, now coming to you in dookie crayon:
    https://twitter.com/Olivianuzzi/status/890300448120373248

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      For a letter, it lacks an appropriate amount of folds to fit into an envelope.

      • coozledad

        Gonna sit right down, and write myself a letter.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        HAHAHAAH! They forgot that, didn’t they. Maybe hand delivered? HAHAHAH! What is wrong with SHB?

      • Doug Langley

        Oh, uh . .. you see . . . he mailed it in a large manila envelope! Kids these days ALWAYS use large manila envelopes! Yes, that’s the ticket!

    • lindser

      my first thought was, “which one of Trump Jr.’s five kids is named Dylan?”

    • bupkus231

      The WH released this??? Is this Scarydouche’s way to try and rebuild people’s confidence in Rump?

      Hell, if it’s real, it’s political exploitation of a child. Might as well hold the kid up as a human shield ( a la Stephen King’s “The Dead Zone” ).

      Of course, the chances that it’s real are as miniscule as Rump’s hands, dick, and soul.

  • Me not sure

    OT: June Foray, the voice of Rocky the Flying Squirrel and many other cartoon greats, is dead at 99 years of age. RIP.

    • msanthropesmr

      :( Now here’s something you’ll really love.

    • Oblios_Cap
      • Me not sure

        And yet Boris and Natasha continue to run amok.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Actually, she was Natasha’s voice, too, as well as Cindy Lou Who’s.
          Among many others.

          • Me not sure

            Tweety’s granny and Witch Hazel over at Warner Brothers also.

    • amrak63

      May she rest in peace in Raspberry Heaven.

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    said, “150 years ago people would have been hung for those types of leaks.” Yep, this is the world we live in.

    It truly is appalling. They would have been HANGED!

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Men were better hung in those days.

      • coozledad

        Yup. Today most men are only hung for an accidental leak in their shorts.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Hehehe, I read that and was like: “That’s not how you spell it, right?”

  • OutOfOrbit

    Joni Ernst wears lacy bread-bags!
    Sexxxy

    • Old town Urbandale

      To balance the karma, Iowa’s other Senator, Chuck Grassley, told the media yesterday that he’s voting for each and every piece of shit health care bill so the conference committee with the House can spin that straw into gold.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      We’re all gettin’ a tad worried about you … but I got nothin’ against bread bag fetishes …

      • OutOfOrbit

        Whut? Worry? ab out moi? Now yuh telllz me.

  • msanthropesmr

    I agree with president Bannon. That should be the top tax rate. This might be the first and last time.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Yeah, I thought the same thing except the 44% is too low.

  • Nounverb911
    • OutOfOrbit

      brilliant

    • Jim Johnson

      Nice rendition of his little twitter-pee-pee.

      • jodyleek

        And tiny hands also too.

    • TJ Barke

      He so wonderfully captures Donnie’s grotesquery.

    • amrak63

      Funny and yucky at the same time.

      http://i.imgur.com/SSa9QpW.jpg

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I have that exact same outfit.

  • writersbloc

    Man, that’s a fucked up list of shit we gotta deal with today.

    • OutOfOrbit

      you got thru’ the whole thing?

      • Oblios_Cap

        again today
        FIFY

  • MynameisBlarney

    OT; but I swear to fucking goawd on a stack o’ bibles this fuckin’ high *holds hand up to eye level* I am gonna bust a fuckin blood vessel in my goddamned brain…between whiny-ass rich motherfuckin customers not wanting to pay taxes and demanding discounts on parts and labor, slimy boat-yard owners trying to strong-arm me into giving them an even bigger discount, idiot mechanics not understanding that the more billable hours they get, the more money we all get, a fuckin’ office manager taking time off for mini-lobster season after just getting back from vacation on Monday and my son of a bitchin dad/boss that likes to waltz into the fucking shop and talk about things of which I could not give a fuck while I’m in the middle of trying to wolf down a hot meal before the next dumbfuck walks through the door asking me if we work on outboards when our fucking sign CLEARLY says MARINE DIESEL POWER…

    I’m gonna choke a motherfucker if I don’t get a goddamn vacation soon.
    Jesus fucking christ I hate this goddamn place.

    /rant over

    • TJ Barke

      Wanna try and start a grow op with me?

      • MynameisBlarney

        That does sound like it could be far less stressful.
        But I think I’ll wait until the Keebler elf is fired.

    • PubOption

      Don’t throw the baby out with the bilgewater.

    • People are dumbasses.

    • From Russia with Love

      Could be worse. You could be working in the White House.

    • Doug Langley

      Dilbert: “I’ve discovered what’s wrong with the world. It’s other people.”

      • “M”

        That was Sartre before it was Dilbert.

    • grindstone

      Shhhhh, close your eyes. Picture the madness of lobster mini-season. Picture the idiots mishandling their gear, breaking rental dive gear, dropping tanks on their toes, getting tickets for diving in sanctuary spots, getting tickets for failing to have a gauge or their license. Picture the boats jockeying for position at too few ramps. Picture the sunburned boaters coming back in with only two lobsters. Picture the lobsters chortling in their lairs. And remember that you’re not down there in that insanity.

      DBF, Blarney.

    • “M”

      Mooch?

  • Nounverb911
  • GreenGoldSharpie

    I’m getting ready to head to voice therapy, but I figured sharing my Facebook status may be a thing you guys like. ;-)

    “There is no medically valid reason to exclude transgender individuals from military service. Transgender individuals are serving their country with honor, and they should be allowed to continue doing so.”

    David O. Barbe, M.D.
    President, American Medical Association

    “After consulting with the service chiefs and secretaries, I have determined that it is necessary to defer the start of accessions for six months. We will use this additional time to evaluate more carefully the impact of such accessions on readiness and lethality.”

    Secretary of Defense James Mattis
    June 30th, 2017

    Hint: He asked for six months. It hasn’t been six months.

    • PubOption

      Get Trump to ban all military equipment that is made from transition metals.

  • Nounverb911
  • Oblios_Cap

    President Bannon wants to raise the a top marginal tax rate from 39.6 to 44 percent, and that has the super-rich super mad.

    Not only is he a PINO (person in name only), but he’s also a RINO! INPEACH!

    • From Russia with Love

      He’s fugly too.

    • TJ Barke

      HOLY SHIT! ALMOST 5%? COMMUNISM!

  • Nounverb911
    • jodyleek

      I’ve been saying the same thing forevah! The only thing the Repubes and Cons don’t like about extremist Muslim beliefs is the competition.

      • TJ Barke

        If it was the same religion they’d probably be all for it.

    • NastyBossetti

      I wish the person who made this didn’t use “Muslims” in the header for the second column.

      • amrak63

        Yeah, that’s the only drawback (oh, and the misspelling of “Murdoch”, but the second objection is minor).

  • Bill D. Burger

    Implied in Murkowski’s response to Trump: I’ll be here long after you’re gone___BITCH!

    LMAO

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVxW5Dkhuks

  • BigCSouthside

    Mooch vs Reince. Pistols at dawn on the White House lawn

  • schmannity

    It’s like the news is held hostage by the machinations of a mentally ill mobster. Take it away, Todd Rundgren:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rhf5_tqxatc

    • coozledad

      Heavy Metal Kid would work, too.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      ‘Like’ implies similar but not identical. This ‘is’ the news being held hostage by the machinations of a mentally ill mobster.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Reince Priebus and The Mooch are fighting like man-babies,

    “Like”? They are man-boobies.

    • Rags

      My brain is now, without my consent, conjuring up images of man-booby fights.

      • bupkus231

        Somehow, I don’t think you’re imagining the birds…

        • Rags

          I actually googled for a literal man-booby fight and couldn’t find a single image of those cute, stupid birds being aggressive towards humans.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    ScaredyPoochie just deleted his “I reported these leaks to the FBI” Tweet.

    Is that a violation of the public records act?

    • OutOfOrbit

      if not it should be

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Does it even matter anymore?

      *sigh*

    • Bill D. Burger
      • Jamoche

        He also does a great Donnie body language impression. Watch his hands.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Yes … but the NSA is keeping ALL OF THEM.

    • Rags

      How can a “communications director” not know that tweets are forever? Especially after it was so thoroughly demonstrated to him with his gun control/climate change/etc. tweet deletion shitshow?

  • PubOption

    A Zinke shiv is completely useless.

    • FlemmishSpy

      Nothing cuts like irony.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    You have to read the fine print on Bannon’s tax plan. After you figure out what you owe at 44% you then get to deduct that amount from your taxes.

  • Doug Langley

    Why, oh why, did the Boy Scouts invite Prima Donnie to give a speech when they should have known he’s a crude, vulgar bigot? Theory: maybe they wanted something from him!

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/on-leadership/wp/2017/07/25/how-trumps-speech-to-the-boy-scouts-could-put-atts-ceo-in-a-tricky-spot/?utm_term=.44f02329e508

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Because it’s tradition for the President to address the scouts at the National Jamboree. Im’ma believing the Boy Scouts of America is re-thinking that policy …

      • Doug Langley

        Ah, just when I was on a good conspiracy roll.

        • Bobathonic

          Well they knew he was probably going to be a dick, and won’t say anything condemnatory about it, because of all those Ameros.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Also, too, more links to shady-as-fuck Russians. Ya think there might be a reason that the Dumbass and his staff keep threatening people like trashy mobsters?
    https://twitter.com/activist360/status/890317653629431809

    • Incoming Ham

      Is it me or does Manafort look like he could be Lindsey Grahams kid?

      • FlownΩver

        Listen to yourself – “Lindsey Graham’s kid“?!?!?

    • cmd resistor

      I read elsewhere that Bill Browder, the friend of Magnitsky, is testifying before a subcommittee this morning.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Eric Trump went on Fox & Friends to express his sadness over a lack of bootlicking and free rimjobs.

    Well, Boo-Fucking-Hoo.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Trump has nominated Kansas’s god-awful governor Sam Brownback to head the Office of International Religious Freedom

    Of course, in Brownback’s world there is only one true religion.

    • Liquid Tomato

      The Gospel of Charles Koch?

    • FlemmishSpy

      All of us are free to worship Jesus in our own way.

      • Jamoche

        Not even that. You have to be a One True Christian or else. None of that “love thy neighbor” or care for the unfortunate stuff for them.

    • grindstone

      Je$u$ Chri$t?

    • Incoming Ham

      The Office Of Freedom From Religions Other Than Xtianity International.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      The freedom to worship whatever he wants us to worship.

  • Nounverb911
  • Crystalclear12

    The worst thing about this whole shit show?
    We aren’t even at the “things have to get bad before they get better” stage.
    We are still ramping up to it.

    • Augustus

      Shit is going to hit the fan, it hasn’t yet, you’re right

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        But it’s approaching. You can smell it.

    • FlownΩver

      Ramping down, I think. Going faster with less control all the time.

  • Nounverb911
    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      He didn’t like the way Josh looked at him. I could tell from the pee.

    • TJ Barke

      It’s almost like hedge fund guys are totally fucking worthless…

      • Augustus

        nah, nah, they’re the best, the absolute best

        the best guys at the top deserve the most money, because they’re doing

        um

        things

        • TJ Barke

          They’re the best cuz the make the most money and because they make the most money, they’re the best.

          • FlownΩver

            Circle the wagons logic!

          • Jamoche

            Also God loves them, sayeth the Prosperity “Gospel”.

          • amrak63

            And never mind all those denunciations of the depredations by the rich and powerful made by the Hebrew prophets, and that long-haired hippie Jesus Christ and his early followers.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Rags

      “It’s not a policy, its a culture bomb.” FTW

    • Marion in Savannah

      Trae is a national treasure.

    • I particularly liked his summary of Pence in this one.

  • Belasaurius

    and we still have new “music” from Vanilla Ice to forward to *ties noose, loads gun*

    • Bill D. Burger

      I do not think the word “music” is appropriate in that case.

      Still….. If you gotta’ problem, he’ll solve it!
      ~snicker~

      • amrak63

        Vanilla Lice and (senator-wannabe) Kid Schlock couldn’t make music if they hired Paul, Ringo, Eric Clapton, and Zombie Jimi Hendrix to be their band.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Maybe this will renew your enjoyment of life. Mr Van Winkle NEVER sounded this good: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tp8MUGckwxY

  • Ron Spangler

    I’m pretty sure Joni Ernst identifies as a man.

    • FlemmishSpy

      Bag man?

    • MynameisBlarney

      Seriously?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      It’s not really very funny. Because there is almost certainly at least one Congresscritter who identifies as a gender in conflict with their genitals, and they can’t come out, either through political fear, or because in our society they have just not been given the tools they need to identify why they feel so shitty about themselves all the time.

      • Bebecca

        and they’re probably a republican.

  • I hate this nation, I fucking hate these Wastes-of-Skin that voted GOP, and I’m not that much fonder of everyone else.

    Ima log off before I get myself Banned.

    Fuck *ALL* this Shit.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Don’t stay away, hon. We like having you here, your talent, your strength, your forthrightness. But take the time you need to cool down. We’ll be here for you.

  • Jeffery Campbell
    • Bill D. Burger

      And the most odious aspect is that Orc-on-the-Outs Sessions injected the Justice Dept. into the middle of the case uninvited. They went out of their way to defend discrimination and bigotry.

      Bbbbbbuutttt……

      https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DFs-E49W0AA0PvV.jpg

    • MynameisBlarney

      And that motherfuckin keebler elf lookin racist son of a bitch needs to fucking fuck the fuck and THEN fuck off some more.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Federal law does not protect racist, homophobic Dobbies, so go fuck yourself, Jeffy Bo.

  • Oblios_Cap
  • Shanzgood

    Sorry about Brownback.

    • FlownΩver

      We’re pretty OK with it around here. Worst that can happen is there will be a seismic collective headdesk when he issues his first report decrying all the perceived persecution of xtians – and only xtians.

  • Belasaurius

    saaaaaaayyyyyyy, you know who else threatened Alaska?

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Sarah Palin?

    • Doug Langley

      Exxon Valdez?

    • Nockular cavity

      Grizzlies. I’m sure it involves grizzlies.

      • armed_bears

        Bear libels… watch it.

    • Bobathonic

      The Dark One?

    • MynameisBlarney

      The Oil Companies?

    • amrak63

      Imperial Japan, which was an ally of (CENSORED BY GODWIN)?

    • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

      I DON’T KNOW, BUT ALASKA

      • SeeTrain65

        “Use it until it works.” ; )

        • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

          works every time!

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      The midnight sun?

    • SeeTrain65

      Meringue, vanilla wafers, ice cream and an oven?

  • Incoming Ham

    I just watched that dreadful Boy Scout video again. As much as I dislike Rick Perry ( and that is a lot) he looks pissed off and mortified through most of it, and has a fake smile plastered on. The dude (shockingly) was an Eagle Scout. They take that seriously.

    • Shanzgood

      This is true, about taking it seriously. Baconz was one, too, and he is beyond disgusted about the speech AND the response from BSA.

      • Incoming Ham

        Also too is Significant Ham, Eagle Scout. Completely disgusted.

      • armed_bears

        Add Eagle Scout Mr. Armed Bears. BSA allowed themselves to be coopted by a lunatic.

    • cmd resistor

      I read that Tillerson was upset, too. HE got some big award from the scouts earlier in the Jamboree. I think he was an eagle scout and the head of the national organization at one point.

  • MynameisBlarney

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/07/your-mental-ineptitude-is-mind-blowing-internet-erupts-after-trump-promotes-ny-times-article-that-mocks-him/

    I can’t even with this shit.
    He needs to be dragged off in straight-jacket or in cuffs and leg irons. Just get that mentally unstable traitor out of the goddamned WH.

    NOW.

    • Doug Langley

      The comments are priceless.

  • puredog

    I thought Steve “Svelte” Bannon told us Spicey was too fat to dance?

  • Nockular cavity

    Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke called Alaska Senator Lisa Murkowski and threatened to pull energy and economic initiatives in response to no-votes on TrumpCare/SkeletonCare/whatever-the-fuck-it’s-called-today-care.

    Now there’s an Eagle Scout move. What, is he working on his Shakedown badge?

  • Jeffery Campbell

    Also, kudos for the twirling gorilla babby. Makes my day. Which is pretty much what I rely on Wonkestan to do for me daily.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • IdiokraticDrumpfenResistance
    • MynameisBlarney

      Oh fuckin’ hell.
      This shit can’t be happening.

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        Reality’s broken. Gonna cost a bundle to fix it.

    • The people of Kansas must be grateful.

      • Shanzgood

        Too late.

      • FlownΩver

        We’re waiting to see whether Kobach’s “Brownback double down” can take hold.

    • Doug Langley

      While meanwhile I can’t buy myself a job.

    • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

      Muslims simply must flood Brownback with letters asking for help with their religious freedom.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    “150 years ago people would have been hung for those types of leaks.”

    I remember that from history class. They really frowned on internet leakers during Reconstruction.

    • Belasaurius

      Freedmen only had dial up, how sad, thanks a lot Andrew Johnson

    • Bill D. Burger

      AOL was merciless!

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      And when Jefferson hung all those people who leaked about Sally Hemmings.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    I really need to stop starting my day reading news digests that remind me of the hatefulness of these people. Jesus, disagree with me on politics, culture, and process, but do they really have to be so fucking hateful?

  • NotReallyHere

    This headline was in my local paper, The Spokesman-Review, this morning: Kootenai County GOP Praises Russia. Here’s the article.
    http://www.spokesman.com/stories/2017/jul/26/kootenai-county-gop-condemns-sanctions-wants-frien/

    Kootenai County is just across the boarder in Idaho from Spokane, Washington. I know they’re pretty right-wing over there, but I guess I didn’t realize to what degree. I find it horrifying that they would be so far off the deep end to publicly praise Russia, and call their two senators, Crapo and Risch “progressive globalistis.” I don’t know what this says about the future of the GOP, but it’s nothing good.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      They’ve gotten really nutty. The explanation I heard was that their formerly conservative-but-normal committee was hijacked by a bunch of recent transplants who have enough cash to buy lakefront property.

      I don’t know, though. Bonner County has been crazy for a long time (though only slightly more so than Stevens County and a lot less wacko than Garfield County.)

      • NotReallyHere

        Yes, I would have been much less surprised to see that headline come out of Bonner. But I thought Kootenai was a bit more… cosmopolitan? Kootenai county has Coeur d’Alene. It’s the 7th biggest city in Idaho, but I guess it’s only 50k people.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          Isn’t it where LAPD cops go to die?

        • natoslug

          CdA is surrounded by people who think it’s funny to order Obama silhouettes for target practice. That was pretty much the final thing to convince me to move back to California. The letters to the editor from all the former Hayden militants didn’t help things either.

          • NotReallyHere

            Ugh! I used to live on the Idaho side, and… there’s just no hope for them is there.

    • natoslug

      I left that area in 2010 after living in Post Falls, Idaho (between Spokane and Couer d’Alene) for five years. It was mostly RWNJ’s, but a few pockets of progressiveness. Unfortunately, it also had a major influx of people from San Bernardino and other SoCal areas during that time that felt that California wasn’t fascist enough for them. They wanted to be able to “speak freely,” not have to put up with their calling a spade a spade. Or, more precisely, a ni-clang! a ni-clang!. Fucking Idaho/California NAZIs.

      • NotReallyHere

        Yes, I know exactly what you were talking about. I met some that had fled California when housing prices were sky-high right before the 2008 crash. I get the impression that there is still an influx from CA right-wingers, and it’s just getting worse. I live across the state-line in WA, and I am so very glad!

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    Trump: Has Senator Murkowski come around yet?
    Zienke: I don’t know, but Alaska

    • puredog

      boo

      • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

        You cannot shame me

        • SeeTrain65

          “I’m already ashamed.”

        • armed_bears

          Why? Are you a terrier?

      • amrak63

        Awww, are you getting Sitka these puns?

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      It’s like we don’t Nome you any more.

      • SeeTrain65

        “Juneau, these puns are getting pretty bad.”

        • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

          Yes, but it seems like the alternatives Palin comparison

          • TakingAmes

            Murkowski is really an Anchorage around their necks.

    • FlownΩver

      Any hint of decency in this administration is merely an Aleutian.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • WotsAllThisThen

    Yes pence, at least you always know where you stand with Trump. Except for everyone who believed he would fix health Care, bring back coal jobs, make Mexico pay for the wall…

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      teach them how to become real estate millionaires.

  • Bill D. Burger

    People!!! ___The Mooch has ZERO conflicts of interests, except in the financial, energy, tech, telecom, tourism, utilities and consumer products sectors! ____ And, in the end, he does sport a tight bouffant.

  • Komsumverweigerer Ron

    Who knew there actually might be a ‘bridge to far’ for the GOP?

    It’s all kinda like watching a game of Jenga. You hold your breath, watching the players remove the blocks, waiting for that one that brings down the whole shaky, tottering edifice…

    • FlownΩver

      Objection. Assumes bridge not in evidence.

  • Bill D. Burger

    White House only wants to hear about all those warm, golden leaks that sooth away the president’s troubles. Capische?

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      #goldenshowers #PEEOTUS – that twitterstorm was glorious.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    150 years ago people would have been hung for those types of leaks.

    How about we take care of the people giving aid and comfort to a hostile foreign power with their leaks first? Because that actually is a capital offense. I’m sure whoever replaces you guys will be down with investigating Priebus next.

    Although I have to say, as an opening salvo in the office wars, “execute my rival” is kind of hard to follow up on.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      And it’s “hanged” dammit. Pictures are hung. Meat is hung. In the 70’s, certain males claimed to be hung. People are hanged.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I just think perhaps Bozoni doesn’t quite get that campaign mode is different than governance mode, and if you’re a government official you don’t just get to announce in social media that inconvenient people are clearly guilty and should be killed.

        Also, wtf is it with these sociopaths and killing people? Their inner children must be simultaneously whining like a power drill and torturing frogs.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          Killing or hurting people who disagree with you is the default mode for authoritarians. They just naturally gravitate in that direction.

          • eka

            plus, all those sexy little chats with putin.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Well, yeah? But I don’t think Samuele Glick exactly gets that being the talking face doesn’t give you the direct power of life or death even in authoritarian dictatorships.

          • Stella Thomas

            It’s a control issue

        • TakingAmes

          But, but… campaign mode is more fun than governance mode! We’ll just skip governance and go right back to campaigning.

    • FlownΩver

      Only slightly paraphrased:
      I don’t like to see you come into this government with your oily hair, dressed up in those silk suits, passing yourselves off as a decent American. The fact is that I despise your masquerade, the dishonest way you pose yourself. Yourself and your whole fucking administration.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Moderate Republicans in the Tuesday Group are now banding together to thwart Paul Ryan and his constant hand-jobs to the House Freedom crazies.

    It’s almost cute the way those invertebrates try to act like that have backbones.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    This is interesting, from the Washington Post (aren’t we supposed to be mad at them because they didn’t shop at Jared?)

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3d11132a81a0ee968f62071078ffb8a5f2cd78b688be4b600022759482042a2d.png

    • eka

      i thought we were supposed to be mad at them because our president is a dipshit who allows himself to be manipulated by foreign leaders?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Apparently the Pentagon hasn’t gotten the memo.

        They’re notoriously fuzzy about chains of authority around there.

        • eka

          which is suddenly a good thing.

  • Stulexington

    I was wondering when the moderates would get sick of this shit Putting your neck on the line to please some dick in a gerrymandered to hell district only to be snubbed when they actually try to represent their district’s interests must be hard on the loyalty.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I wonder if the Koch brothers can afford to primary the entire country, even with the strategic oil reserve money.

      • Stulexington

        They can afford to try, but there are going to be some nasty surprises when they end up splitting the conservative vote in some open primaries.

  • cmd resistor

    I have never said a nasty thing about Eric Trump’s wife. Nor have I said anything nasty about Barron.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I could say a few nasty things about Eric Trump’s wife and her thousand year reich is just cheerleading through other means view of the world. I think Don Jr’s has suffered enough.

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/07/27/alt-right-commentator-gets-schooled-historian-diversity-roman/amp/ watching ractist idiots getting smacked down never ceases to bring me joy

    • Ghenghis McCann

      And when it comes from a conservative newspaper’s website, it’s doubleplusgood.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      And said racist idiot’s subsequent twisting, turning, and blustering to try to claim “no, no, really, I’m really right and the other guy is just a biased media shill left-wing crazy hurrr durr MSM MAGA!!” is pretty hilarious.

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        His first big mistake was attempting to argue English History with a Englishman. No self respecting Englishman will ever let anyone especally an American get away with distrorting history or being wrong like this.

        • Alternative Dog

          Which gives me an opportunity to recount one of my favorite YouTube comment flame wars. An American youth was arguing with an English youth about slavery — the usual nonsense about which country was worse and how the Africans were the worst of all.

          At one point the American said something like “You should learn some history” to which the Englishman replied “Dude, my high school is older than your country.” It totally cracked me up.

  • Courser_Resistance

    Got an email from the healthcare org I work for. It boils down to this:

    Keep calm and carry on.

    • Share please. I am panicking.

      • Courser_Resistance

        I’m so sorry. Keep in mind that so far the R’s have had no success in even coming close to passing anything.

        I’m not supposed to reveal who I work for but it’s a very large healthcare NON-Profit based in No Cal. that covers folks in multiple, but not all, states. I can’t help it if you can figure it out down here in the non-comments.

        It was basically a note/memo to us not to lose our minds and panic. Keep our minds on our tasks and provide the very best care to our members. I work in IT, so I have no patient contact but they know that not only are WE members ourselves (mostly), but we talk to our neighbors and friends in the community. The Org isn’t panicking and neither should we.

        I hope that gives you some peace

        • Thanks that does help. Right now my ACA related income is the only income in our household and we’re both on ACA insurance (and mr fuflans has blood clots).

          • Courser_Resistance

            I’m up for a perm job with them and basically see it as my only viable path forward. I’m 58 and have been working under contract for them for 2 years. I’m at the ‘do or die’ point but I’m well positioned to get the job.

            Just know that the big blue K and P will not go down without a fight. That may be no comfort to you, but they’ve been in all the talks with the Regime from day one and they carry a pretty big stick along with a bunch of healthcare companies. Believe it or not, many of them really do want to provide care to as many peeps as possible. The medical profession and all of us who work to support that mission, truly believe in our hearts that everyone deserves affordable care .

          • Wish you all the best. i worked with the folks i assume you’re talking about a few years back (with a medicare systems / software company. We sucked and you all deservedly fired our asses). They were one of my fav clients.

            I also spend a lot of time with medical providers for ACA. Everything you say is absolutely true here in Chi.

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    REXXON should YOU’RE FIRED Brownback. Trump should YOU’RE FIRED Sessions if it will cause the GOP heart burn.

    • cats530

      So what happens in the event that Trump fires sessions? Didn’t someone already get elected to replace Sessions’ congressional seat? Does that mean Sessions is SOL on going back to his congress critter job?

      • eka

        it might be better for everyone fired from this shitshow to sit out a few years before going for election again. they’re not exactly likely to benefit from the affiliation.

        • amrak63

          [snark] Arncha glad we got this well-oiled machine, straight from the supremely efficient Amurkan business world, instead of that horrible e-mail witch and her “professional” government? [/snark]

          • eka

            wouldn’t that just be awful, to have a president with relevant skills and extensive knowledge?

          • amrak63

            And who held the respect of our allies? And was loyal to this country, rather than to Russian creditors? The worst!

      • bupkus231

        No, the special election to replace Sessions in the Senate is yet to be run. Lither Strange was appointed to temporarily fill the seat ( and, yeah, Sessions can’t just go back to it ), but there’s half-a-dozen Republicans ( including Fuckhead Mo Brooks – who’s trying to use the Scalise shooting in campaign lit – and bible-thumping two-time loser judge Roy Moore, all vying for the Republican spot on the ballot ( and there’s actually a Democrat or two running, too, I think ).

        It’s fucking Alabam, tho’ – so whoever gets in there is likely to be just as fucked in the head as the Keebler elf.

      • bupkus231

        Since I posted to you earlier, I saw this about the Alabama Republican primary ( in three weeks ):

        [ via Maddowblog ] Link: http://www.politico.com/story/2017/07/26/mo-brooks-jeff-sessions-alabama-senate-race-24099

        Rep. Mo Brooks has proposed that all 9 Republican candidates for Jeff Session’s former seat drop out of the race for the special election, allowing the Alabama GOP to name Sessions as their candidate in the special election ( i.e killing the GOP primary ).

        Sessions would still have to be re-elected ( wouldn’t just resume his former seat ), but he won w/ 97% of the vote in 2014, so I guess the presumption is that whoever the Dems run, they’ll lose.

        But, crazy as Alabama, I don’t really see much chance of Strange and Moore ( let alone the other candidates )just giving up their own ambitions ). Sounds like Brooks is throwing out another “Hail Mary” pass in an attempt to remain relevant….

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Constitutional crisis if Sessions is You’re Fired and Mueller is threatened. 25th amendment and whatnot. Sophie’s choice for TRMP and he’s likely to turn over both kids.

  • Politiquacks

    Should have gone with “hope” nothing happens to it. Missed opportunity there.

  • cats530

    “Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke called Alaska Senator Lisa Murkowski and threatened to pull energy and economic initiatives in response to no-votes on TrumpCare/SkeletonCare/whatever-the-fuck-it’s-called-today-care.”

    A dirty tactic from a dirty bastard. Not a bit surprised that this slimy Super Predator in Trump’s swamp resorted to such.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Best part is that she’s the chair of the Senate committee his appropriations go through.

      The horse he rode to work on his first day is smarter than he is.

  • Daniel Hooper

    A baby gorilla? Since when do videos of Trump count as, “Nice Time”?

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      King Kong Libelz!1!1!!

  • Ω cynmac will never surrender

    These assholes really didn’t know that the White House is the biggest fish bowl in the world? From Prince Jared illegally using Signal to Moochie not understanding public disclosure, they really are making the The Stooges look like rocket scientists!
    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/07/jared-kushner-may-have-just-been-caught-violating-the-presidential-records-act-heres-why/
    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/07/watch-panicked-scaramucci-goes-down-in-flames-on-cnn-trying-to-clean-up-last-nights-train-wreck-priebus-tweet/

  • Bitter Scribe

    According to the linked article in the Alaska Dispatch News, here are some of the things the Interior Department is threatening to discontinue, to punish Murkowski:

    an effort to build a road out of King Cove through the Izembek National Wildlife Refuge, and future opportunities to drill in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge and expand drilling in the National Petroleum Reserve-Alaska.

    In other words, the administration is threatening to do the right things out of spite.

    We truly are in Bizarro World.

    • TakingAmes

      I was whiplashed about that one too. Like, okay…

  • Bitter Scribe

    As if worrying about getting shot wasn’t bad enough, Chicago is now…

    Please, leave the cheap jokes about people getting shot in Chicago to the other side. You know the only reason they pick on Chicago is because Obama is from there. It’s like nobody ever got killed by a criminal in any other big city in the world.

    • Yr. Gma

      One rule of snark is to make fun of them using their own words.

  • Zyxomma

    For those of us without cable TV, but with cable internet, here’s a terrific segment on DJT’s speech patterns from A.M. Joy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHv0RExQsPQ

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Summary: Trump voters think he’s like them because he says stupid shit too?

  • The Librarian

    I admit to my distaste for any dancing teevee shows, but would make an exception for Spicey. With what dignity he has left, it would be amusing to watch.

    Love the baby 🦍 antics!

  • sgt. jmk of the résistance

    Happy Intern Day to you, Dominic!!

    I raise a self-fetched cup of coffee in tribute!!

  • SisterArtemis

    OT (is it possible to be off topic in this thread?)

    DRINKY THING!!! WILLAMETTE VALLEY, OREGON!!!

    Did you know we’re doing a drinky on August 12th? It’s the unofficial kind, in which we seize the means of drinky production without any official Overlord Yr Wonkettes (though they are ALWAYS welcome). It’s also being held at someone’s home, so we’re not floating the details in the comments section. If you’re interested, reply to this comment, and we’ll get you the details via the Sekret Back Channel/Porch I’ve established.

  • amrak63

    All the professional comedians and amateur snarkers of the USA are hoping the national GOP and the Russians (but I repeat myself) decide to punish Murkowski by running Palin against her in the next primary.

  • bookish

    What a love. Acts just like a human toddler.

  • HazooToo

    How is anyone forced to defend Sessions? Really, there is no difference in Bad Things with him either there or gone. If Trump fires him, he’ll replace him with a bootlicker who won’t recuse and then he’ll fire everyone else and declare himself Grand High PooBah for Life. If Sessions doesn’t get fired, he gets to stick around and try to pass a law that makes having “an excess amount of melanin” a crime punishable by immediate execution without trial. Fuck Trump, fuck Sessions, fuck them both. I hope they manage to bring each other down as they clumsily butt antlers.

  • Amy!

    “150 years ago people would have been hung for those types of leaks.”

    Despicable!

    A communications director certainly ought to know that the past tense of “hang” when referring to the mode of execution is “hanged”. “Hung” is what Donnie isn’t.

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