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Morning Wonketariat! STAND BY FOR NEWS.

Arizona Republican Senator John McCain has been diagnosed with brain cancer. There’s no jokes here; he’s a national hero who has literally busted his ass in public service for his entire life.

Trump gave another BATSHIT interview with the New York Times where he admits he’s pissed at Jeff Sessions for recusing himself, and he wouldn’t have hired Sessions had he known he’d just roll over like a regular public servant facing serious ethical questions.

The entire interview is fucking bonkers. Here’s the transcript. Don’t say we didn’t warn you!

The CBO projects 32 million more people will lose health insurance if Obamacare is repealed. No biggie.

Here’s a map of counties likely to lose health insurers next year, just in case you like disaster porn disguised as infographics.

Trump is demanding legislators resurrect zombie TrumpCare (again) and making threats if they don’t make him look like a winner.

Paul Manafort and Trump Jr. will appear before the Senate Judiciary Committee on Wednesday, and we’re already getting our snacks ready!

Prince Jared will also speak to the Senate Intelligence committee, but he’s locking the door so nobody will be able to hear him suddenly remember all the things he forgot.

People are eye-balling Princess Ivanka now that it’s been revealed that Prince Jared and Little Donnie have had sketchy meetings with Russians. Could she have *gasp* LIED? Or is she A Idiot?

Paul Manafort’s fake businesses owed up to $17 million to pro-Russian (Not American) oligarchs and political groups in Cyprus, and then he became Trump’s campaign manager where he worked for free.

Regulators are picking at loans to Trump from Deutsche Bank, worried that the bank could be at heightened risk now that Trump’s funny money is under Robert Mueller’s microscope.

Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein thinks James Comey did a bad thing when he released his Trump memos.

Who the hell is Paul Behrends, besides Dana Rohrabacher’s Russophile staffer on Capital Hill? A Mujahideen guy? A military contractor? Jack Abramoff’s lobbyist? Peter Thiel’s bitch? Yes.

The Russian mob lawyer lady, Natalia Veselnitskaya, is ready to talk to the Senate, but only if she’s “guaranteed safety.” Why would she need that hmmm?

A new bill to that would make boycotting Israel a felony is getting a lot of bipartisan support, despite being a HOO BOY violation of the First Amendment.

A bunch of nominees for Trump administration jobs are bailing out after realizing they’d have to get rid of fancy assets that could be conflicts of interest.

Trump’s White House is leaking that its proposed corporate tax rate may be in the low 20s instead of 15 percent, just like Paul Ryan always wanted.

Homeland Security Secretary John Kelly says states are “nuts” if they don’t get federal help in securing their election systems as hackers are trying to steal elections. Which elections? All of them, Katie.

Trump’s lackeys have been spending taxpayer money set aside for ACA enrollment on a PR campaign that has instead been trashing the ACA, and Trump’s budget wants even more money to continue sabotaging healthcare for poor people.

Democratic donors are lining up to drop money on Senator Kamala Harris for a potential 2020 presidential run.

Illinois Republican Governor Bruce Rauner fucked up when hiring two new communications specialists. One wrote an article titled, “An Inconvenient Analogy: Abortion, Eugenics,and Nazi Germany,” which compares abortion to eugenics, and the other tried to hide her ultra conservative psycho-babble by deleting her Twitter account. Looks like Rauner needs an HR specialist more than PR specialists.

A Baltimore cop is suspected of planting drugs so he could make a bust which is totally believable because it’s on his body-cam.

For the umpteenth time in history, the Kurdish people are getting screwed as Trump is stopping a CIA program that armed Syrian militants trying to overthrow the Assad regime. Coincidentally, this is exactly what Putin wanted.

Treat yourself to this Maxine Waters interview where she talks about how millennials taught her how to throw shade.

Watch Chris Christie catch a foul ball and get booed because he’s Chris Christie, and everybody hates Chris.

And here’s your late night wrap-up! Stephen Colbert noticed Trump is a poet and didn’t know it; Jimmy Kimmel found some dumb people who believe whatever Trump tells them.; Seth Meyers took A Closer Look at super zombie TrumpCare; The Daily Show noticed that Russia thinks fidget spinners are evil; Samantha Bee put Louie Gohmert and Steve King in their place.

And here’s your morning Nice Time! BABY RHINO!

We’ve got A LOT of things in store for you guys, but we need your help…and your Ameros…

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