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Morning Wonketariat! STAND BY FOR NEWS.

Arizona Republican Senator John McCain has been diagnosed with brain cancer. There’s no jokes here; he’s a national hero who has literally busted his ass in public service for his entire life.

Trump gave another BATSHIT interview with the New York Times where he admits he’s pissed at Jeff Sessions for recusing himself, and he wouldn’t have hired Sessions had he known he’d just roll over like a regular public servant facing serious ethical questions.

The entire interview is fucking bonkers. Here’s the transcript. Don’t say we didn’t warn you!

The CBO projects 32 million more people will lose health insurance if Obamacare is repealed. No biggie.

Here’s a map of counties likely to lose health insurers next year, just in case you like disaster porn disguised as infographics.

Trump is demanding legislators resurrect zombie TrumpCare (again) and making threats if they don’t make him look like a winner.

Paul Manafort and Trump Jr. will appear before the Senate Judiciary Committee on Wednesday, and we’re already getting our snacks ready!

Prince Jared will also speak to the Senate Intelligence committee, but he’s locking the door so nobody will be able to hear him suddenly remember all the things he forgot.

People are eye-balling Princess Ivanka now that it’s been revealed that Prince Jared and Little Donnie have had sketchy meetings with Russians. Could she have *gasp* LIED? Or is she A Idiot?

Paul Manafort’s fake businesses owed up to $17 million to pro-Russian (Not American) oligarchs and political groups in Cyprus, and then he became Trump’s campaign manager where he worked for free.

Regulators are picking at loans to Trump from Deutsche Bank, worried that the bank could be at heightened risk now that Trump’s funny money is under Robert Mueller’s microscope.

Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein thinks James Comey did a bad thing when he released his Trump memos.

Who the hell is Paul Behrends, besides Dana Rohrabacher’s Russophile staffer on Capital Hill? A Mujahideen guy? A military contractor? Jack Abramoff’s lobbyist? Peter Thiel’s bitch? Yes.

The Russian mob lawyer lady, Natalia Veselnitskaya, is ready to talk to the Senate, but only if she’s “guaranteed safety.” Why would she need that hmmm?

A new bill to that would make boycotting Israel a felony is getting a lot of bipartisan support, despite being a HOO BOY violation of the First Amendment.

A bunch of nominees for Trump administration jobs are bailing out after realizing they’d have to get rid of fancy assets that could be conflicts of interest.

Trump’s White House is leaking that its proposed corporate tax rate may be in the low 20s instead of 15 percent, just like Paul Ryan always wanted.

Homeland Security Secretary John Kelly says states are “nuts” if they don’t get federal help in securing their election systems as hackers are trying to steal elections. Which elections? All of them, Katie.

Trump’s lackeys have been spending taxpayer money set aside for ACA enrollment on a PR campaign that has instead been trashing the ACA, and Trump’s budget wants even more money to continue sabotaging healthcare for poor people.

Democratic donors are lining up to drop money on Senator Kamala Harris for a potential 2020 presidential run.

Illinois Republican Governor Bruce Rauner fucked up when hiring two new communications specialists. One wrote an article titled, “An Inconvenient Analogy: Abortion, Eugenics,and Nazi Germany,” which compares abortion to eugenics, and the other tried to hide her ultra conservative psycho-babble by deleting her Twitter account. Looks like Rauner needs an HR specialist more than PR specialists.

A Baltimore cop is suspected of planting drugs so he could make a bust which is totally believable because it’s on his body-cam.

For the umpteenth time in history, the Kurdish people are getting screwed as Trump is stopping a CIA program that armed Syrian militants trying to overthrow the Assad regime. Coincidentally, this is exactly what Putin wanted.

Treat yourself to this Maxine Waters interview where she talks about how millennials taught her how to throw shade.

Watch Chris Christie catch a foul ball and get booed because he’s Chris Christie, and everybody hates Chris.

And here’s your late night wrap-up! Stephen Colbert noticed Trump is a poet and didn’t know it; Jimmy Kimmel found some dumb people who believe whatever Trump tells them.; Seth Meyers took A Closer Look at super zombie TrumpCare; The Daily Show noticed that Russia thinks fidget spinners are evil; Samantha Bee put Louie Gohmert and Steve King in their place.

And here’s your morning Nice Time! BABY RHINO!

We’ve got A LOT of things in store for you guys, but we need your help…and your Ameros…

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  • Ryan Denniston

    How do Nebraska’s 5 electoral votes even count if they gave the state away to Ben Nelson?

  • Nounverb911
    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Good thing that khaki hides coffee stains pretty well.

  • Ezio

    I have pretty mixed feelings about John McCain. I’m sorry to hear that he has brain cancer, but let’s not pretend like he hasn’t been trying to cut access to healthcare for others.

    • Oh, he’s done things that suck, but he’s bucked some of the shittier things too.

      • MrTusks

        Let’s not forget his lifetime of service, but let’s also not forget that he started us down this path with Sarah Palin.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          This. I mean, whatever – I had a friend who had this exact same cancer, and it wasn’t pretty. Note the past tense. I wouldn’t wish that on hardly anyone. But I can’t ignore he’s going to have treatment options my friend didn’t have, and he won’t have a whole bunch of money worries that my friend did have. Also too, fucking Sarah Palin. We will be generations uprooting that whole mess. So, yeah – mixed feelings.

          • grindstone

            I really don’t like or respect McCain — I’m especially side-eye on how he ditched his first wife for $indy. But, I lost my BIL to this cancer, and it was ugliness I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Treatment or no, this is a “get your affairs in order” diagnosis.

    • I’m not happy that he has brain cancer, but I have a limited supply of sympathy to go around, and I’d rather give it to the people he’s trying to screw out of health care.

    • OutOfOrbit

      I have little sympathy for people with no empathy.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      I’m hoping that he tells the shitgibbon what he thinks of him publicly. What does he have to lose?

    • goingohm

      Though I’ve rarely agreed with McCain on much of anything, I respect him as an authentic patriot–his love of country doesn’t result from a buck or the power he has come to wield. I’m sorry he has actual physical brain cancer and we should all be able to empathize with him. I do not intend to trivialize his situation. That said, let’s hope that the survival rate is better for the victims of President Brain Cancer.

  • laughingnome

    It figures Douche Bank was willing to lend money to Trump

  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
  • coozledad

    The Japanese first lady sat next to Trump and pretended she wasn’t fluent in English. He’s Eric Olthwaite without the bathos.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYpsz2eAKOs

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • coozledad

      Pace David Sedaris: There’s NO WAY you can fit the corpse of a man in his late fifties in the trunk of an Audi!

  • bupkus231

    When I was back in MD, I kinda knew that Ben Cardin was pro-Israel – but I thought he had some kinda sense, too. Looks like I was wrong.

    Heez – it looks like Kirsten Gillibrand is one of the co-sponsors! WTF, Kirsten???

  • Michael R
    • “Finished a little bit bad” accurately describes my last hungover bowel movement.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Also too, the last time I had sex.

    • coozledad

      The little corporal always gets in the way.

  • Nounverb911
  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    Trump: Because you are basically saying from the moment the insurance, you’re 21 years old, you start working and you’re paying $12 a year for insurance, and by the time you’re 70, you get a nice plan. Here’s something where you walk up and say, “I want my insurance.” It’s a very tough deal, but it is something that we’re doing a good job of.
    WTF???

  • Nounverb911
  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    I’m still wondering if the extracurricular activity was something like volleyball.
    https://twitter.com/resnikoff/status/888016279726149633

  • coozledad

    Trump:The Japanese you know, China. They had it sewed up. Sewed up. Then Tora Bora Tora came along. He was at Wharton for a while. He had those round glasses, everybody thought he was a geek. But he came to the US and torpedoed Arizona and West Virginia. It was a New Deal. The CCCP hadn’t even finished building the highways.

    We showed them the nuclear weapon. They were become death. It was cameras and wristwatches from there on out. Cars. Cute pencil sharpeners. I ate a raw fish. It was no good let me tell you with that hot radish. They are good people in little paper houses, but we’re going to get them back someday.

    Haberman: What?

    Trump: People don’t know this. It scares them.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Is this satire? I can’t even fucking tell anymore.

    • laughingnome

      Leopold Bloom is president?

    • BigCSouthside

      Crazy that this isn’t outside The realm of possibility.

      Side note, I bet if you got trump a little baked his interviews would be fucking hilarious

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Calling dibs on Tora Bora Tora Trump as a new drag name.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “Oppenheimer. People don’t know this, but he’s done some great things lately. He was in that Breaking Bad show that the kids watch.”

    • Michael Smith

      Hunter S. Thompson would have loved to hate the Trump Presidency. If he thought Nixon was fun…

  • William
  • Nounverb911
  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    People are eye-balling Princess Ivanka now that it’s been revealed that Prince Jared and Little Donnie have had sketchy meetings with Russians. Could she have *gasp* LIED? Or is she A Idiot?

    Ivanka: “What about all this Russia stuff?”
    Jared: “I’ll take care of it. Don’t worry. Just tell them nothing happened …”

    Can married couples share cells at Levenworth?

  • Ezio
    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Do you think they invited him, KNOWING he’d say no?

  • Ryan Denniston

    “Watch Chris Christie catch a foul ball and get booed because he’s Chris Christie, and everybody hates Chris.”

    He ended up giving the ball to a kid at the game. It would have been hilarious if the kid said no.

  • Nounverb911

    Akie Abe is fluent in English as opposed to trump who isn’t.

    https://twitter.com/samthielman/status/887987198146097152

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenResistance
  • CutterTeam
    • Well, they actually passed their final… You think Trump could even get 1% on a history exam?

      Also, too… BILL S. PRESTON ESQUIRE AND TED “THEODORE” LOGAN LIBELZ!!!@1!1

    • Ryan Denniston

      Hey, at least in their case, the primary sources could speak for themselves.

    • The Wanderer

      But not their morality. “Be excellent to each other.”

  • Mr. Blobfish

    TRUMP: I have had the best reviews on foreign land. So I go to Poland and make a speech. Enemies of mine in the media, enemies of mine are saying it was the greatest speech ever made on foreign soil by a president. I’m saying, man, they cover [garbled]. You saw the reviews I got on that speech. Poland was beautiful and wonderful, and the reception was incredible.

    What da fuq is wrong wit dis guy?

    • Bill D. Burger
    • BigCSouthside

      Who the fuck said that Donald.

    • Michael Smith

      You’d think even Republicans would be offended by that! So Trump’s speech in Poland (which like 6 people heard) is better than Reagan’s “tear down this wall”? Sacrilege!

      Unless President Reagan was a globalist cuck now too.

    • Left Coast Tom

      TRUMP: I have had the best reviews on foreign land.

      He should stay there, then.

    • arglebargle

      “And I didn’t even make one Pollack joke. Not one. And I know some doozies, believe me. Tremendous jokes. Funny people, those Pollacks.”

    • Canned Covfefe

      ” What da fug is wrong with dis guy?”
      Where to begin?

      Oh, wait, that was rhetorical, wasn’t it?

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Everything?

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    There’s an old song by Dead Milkmen spinoff band Baby Flamehead called “Amy”, about a particularly unpleasant acquaintance of theirs. The chorus is:

    Nobody likes you
    Nobody likes you
    Nobody likes you
    At all

    I think of that song every time I see Chris Christie.

  • Ezio
  • Ryan Denniston

    “TRUMP:Well, Napoleon finished a little bit bad. But I asked that. So I asked the president, so what about Napoleon? He said: “No, no, no. What he did was incredible. He designed Paris.” […]He did so many things even beyond. And his one problem is he didn’t go to Russia that night because he had extracurricular activities, and they froze to death. How many times has Russia been saved by the weather? ”

    What, on heaven’s earth, is he even talking about with extracurricular activities?

    • He REALLY wanted to go to Russia, but it was his niece’s 8th birthday party and he really had been neglecting that side of the family for a while, needed some face time, y’know?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “He did so many things even beyond.” What is it exactly that you find incoherent about that sentence?

    • CutterTeam

      You left out the part where Trump claims that Napoleon Dynamite is a direct descendant of Napoleon.

    • Michael Smith

      What? But he was already in Russia when his army was freezing to death, I mean that’s why it was happening. I bet Putin thinks Napoleon is the one that burned Moscow and wound up destroying his only means of refuge from the Russian winter.

      In reality either the Russians burned it themselves, or it just caught fire because it was an old wooden city being occupied by a giant army. But even in 1812 Russian propaganda (at least this is the way War and Peace portrayed it) claimed that the stupid, destructive, evil French did it themselves.

    • Left Coast Tom

      Well, Napoleon finished a little bit bad.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sj_9CiNkkn4

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Maybe Marie Walewska? He picked up a mistress in Poland, who supposedly distracted him, although he was such a huge whoredog that I can’t imagine she distracted him much.

      She was not, however, that I know of, bonking his grandson, who was involved in the Paris design thing.

      • Lyly Sirivong

        That would be his nephew. Napoleon never had grandkids, not officially at least. Napoleon the 2nd died young. There was a rumour though that he was the biological father of the Emperor of Mexico.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Oh, man, the one who was married to Bette Davis? Who knew?

          • Lyly Sirivong

            Yep, that one !

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Do you suppose that entered into why they decided not to save him?

          • Lyly Sirivong

            Who knows ? Apparently, Napoleon III believed strongly in that rumour. And considering he came to power with a coup, maybe it was better for him to let the guy die in Mexico.

      • Yr. Gma

        Of course the moron doesn’t know there was more than one Napoleon.

    • Bozilingus
    • Canned Covfefe

      Is that what the old people called it those days?

    • Yr. Gma

      I can see why he was impressed with Napolen’s tomb. It is a marvel. Huge and beautiful, there are more coffins within it, getting progressively smaller until the little one than holds Nappie’s tiny bones.
      http://www.musee-armee.fr/uploads/pics/dome-illu2_01.jpg

  • Carpe Vagenda

    How is Chris Christie at a Mets game? He’s an obvious Yankees fan.

  • Wouldn’t it be cool if Melania actually knows about all this shit, and is the one who spills the beans?

    • Joy

      It’s Tiffany’s revenge

    • Walter Wellstone

      … and when she does she tells Donnie “That’s for talking shit about my friend Heidi Cruz, motherfucker.”

      • I dunno if, aside from her 100% true security guard lover, she has any friends.

        • Walter Wellstone

          I can see those two having a lot in common. They probably go through similar pain from being married to narcissistic sociopaths.

    • Ωbjectifier

      A good case officer doesn’t burn her asset without orders.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    It sounds like tRump has been studying at the Palin School of Speaking Real Good Also.

  • Michael Smith

    “A bunch of nominees for Trump administration jobs are bailing out after realizing they’d have to get rid of fancy assets that could be conflicts of interest.”

    Why doesn’t he just start nominating people who aren’t super rich and prioritize their continued ability to amass a fortune over public service?

    Hahahaha

    • Ryan Denniston

      I’m waiting to see if the Washington Post’s nomination counter will actually go in reverse if Sessions resigns.

  • Nounverb911
    • Bill D. Burger

      “If I had known Jeff Sessions would hide that fact from me, I never would have had anything to do with him.”

  • Nounverb911
    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I’m starting to think there’s some truth to these rumors about these people being the “undead”.

    • Lizzietish81
    • Walter Wellstone

      I hope Walnuts! can get through this with minimal pain and suffering. I disagree with many aspects of his worldview but I do respect him.

    • Yr. Gma

      I do feel sorry for Roberta. It must be hard to see her child facing death.

  • Crystalclear12

    OK, where’s the remote? This Russian show is not only unbelievable ( nobody is that stupid) it’s taking too long to get the point!

    • Ωbjectifier

      Where’s that Felicity chick been? I thought this was her show.

  • Ωbjectifier
  • Nounverb911
    • Bill D. Burger

      Gotta’ be Little Marco. (*But don’t tell anyone. Shhhhh….)

    • I hope the unidentified senator understands the irony…

    • miss_grundy

      Hmmm, I wonder how many of them have toilet paper rolls with his face on it?

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Hold on there, buster. The failing New York Times is fake news yet he sits down for an interview?

    • miss_grundy

      It is only fake when it writes something (like a fact) that he doesn’t like.

  • msgypsy

    Are we (and by we I mean everyone who isn’t me because I know how I feel) convinced El Cheeto realizes that recuse is not a synonym for resign?

    • Mpeg

      No?

    • Khavrinen

      I’m not convinced he knows what the word “synonym” means. ( Other than what’s in the middle of those breakfast rolls, I mean. )

      • msgypsy

        I’ll give you no argument there. He doesn’t know what “fake” means and that only has one syllable!

    • From Russia with Love

      One of those times in life when I will never forget where I was.

      • Yr. Gma

        Too bad it was faked.

    • The Wanderer

      “We came in peace for all Mankind.”
      Damned onion ninjas . . .

    • Doug Langley

      Goodness, has it been 48 years already? It was a hot, sunny, humid day. We didn’t have air conditioning so the windows were open. Mom was washing dishes so we wheeled the TV to the kitchen. Walter Cronkite babbling away while I’m thinking “Get to the good stuff!” Finally Neil steps down off the ladder (good luck seeing it on the fuzzy image) and delivers The Line. And all I could think was “why did he hesitate in the middle?” Found out years later he had muffed the line. Was supposed to be “one small step for a man”

      • I know, right??? I had a “The Eagle Has Landed” t-shirt my grandmother gave me, to cement my geek cred early (I was 7). I wore that shirt to shreds.

  • CutterTeam

    Almost 30 years later, and it’s still fucking relevant. . .

    Wanda: Oh, right! To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! I’ve known sheep that could outwit you. I’ve worn dresses with higher IQs. But you think you’re an intellectual, don’t you, ape?

    Otto West: Apes don’t read philosophy.

    Wanda: Yes they do, Otto. They just don’t understand it. Now let me correct you on a couple of things, OK? Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not “Every man for himself.” And the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes, Otto. I looked them up.

    • Ωbjectifier

      You owe me a p-p-p-p-p-p-pound.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        “Sticks fries with ketchup up, Otto’s nose”

    • Now I have to watch again.

      DISAPPOINTED!

  • Nounverb911

    Trump predicted the mess he’s in….Five years ago!

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/212274615060414465

    • hudson srinivasan

      trump has outsourced/subcontracted thinking. whatever somebody says to him he just parrots it back. he prolly can’t think at all, just like he cannot read.

  • Claire

    I wish people on Twitter would stop pointing out that Macron was manipulating Trump, not kowtowing to him. We know, guys, but someone’s going to be pulling this senile old fartmuppet’s strings the whole time he’s in office; would you really rather have it be Putin than the Macron/Trudeau/Merkel Axis of Relative Reasonableness? Quit spilling the beans!

    • Gayer Than Thou

      As long as Fox & Fiends doesn’t cover it, he may never find out.

    • John Thorstensen

      Upvote for the “Axis of Relative Reasonableness”!

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    TRUMP: I have had the best reviews on foreign land. So I go to Poland and make a speech. Enemies of mine in the media, enemies of mine are saying it was the greatest speech ever made on foreign soil by a president.

    “The Berlin Wall, great wall, beautiful wall, kept the Communists out. President Putin, I am not a Berliner, but want to build a beautiful wall like that to keep out bad hombres.”

  • Bill D. Burger
    • miss_grundy

      To think these guys are doing all of this work putting out all of his fires day and night and in the end, he will not pay the bill.

  • Ezio
    • hudson srinivasan

      eventually we will get something done, hopefully, may be.

  • A Groucho Marxist

    Alternate universe Roger Stone will appear on the very liberal Alex Jones show to claim that Trump’s CIA gave John McCain cancer and that he (alt-universe Stone) is undoubtedly next.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      They’re too busy praying for McCain’s death.

      And I am not joking.

    • FlemmishSpy

      I thought Nancy Pelosi used voodoo on Walnuts. Or was it Soros with microwaves?

    • From Russia with Love

      Yeah, because normally nobody gets cancer when they’re 80.

  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
    • Yr. Gma

      Drip, drip, drip.

    • miss_grundy

      But did he vote for him?

  • Gayer Than Thou

    I am totally OK with Twitler pissing off Sessions the Keebler Elf. The more Republicans he alienates, the better. I think.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Why not just fire the little imp?

      • bupkus231

        Why doesn’t the little imp resign?

        • miss_grundy

          Nah, make Fuckface Shitgibbon fire him so that Mueller sends his team to pick him up so that he will start singing.

  • CutterTeam

    I’m launching a Kickstarter campaign in the hope of funding a time-traveling buddy comedy starring Napoleon and Frederick Douglass.

    Working titles, please.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Leon and Fred’s Excellent Time-Travel Adventure

      • CutterTeam

        Had thought about “Bonapartners”, but that sounds somewhat like a porn title.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          Wait, it isn’t going to be porn?

    • From Russia with Love

      Napoleon and Frederick Douglass. A bone apart.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Doing some great things throughout time.

    • Doug Langley

      Partners in Time.

    • miss_grundy

      Frenchie and Fred

  • Nounverb911

    OH! And while everyone was distracted with everything else, the NRA put out this:

    https://twitter.com/davidfrum/status/888000623223943169

    • Gayer Than Thou

      DILF-y coach/gun nut – don’t point that thing at me. At least not until we pick a safe word.

    • miss_grundy

      I guess the NRA is too stupid to realize that there are liberals who are gun owners. And I hope that there are a lot of them–none who are members of the NRA. And that they know more about gun laws than the NRA troglodytes. And please, go ahead, make my day and find out what happens when you pull out a gun on a liberal.

  • La forza del resistino

    So Donald whines over recusal and being stuck with a deputy AG from Baltimore, where the GOP is apparently outlawed even if Dubya appointed him. Rosenstein is actually from Philly and lo and behold a Wharton grad.

  • Oblios_Cap

    he wouldn’t have hired Sessions had he known he’d just roll over like a regular public servant facing serious ethical questions.

    Yeah! How dare him not fall on his sword for Dear Leader?

    • cmd resistor

      Doesn’t poor Sessions get any credit for all the evil shit he’s done since he started this job? Thanks, Donnie.

      • Oblios_Cap

        I know, right? He’s been like the epitome of everything this clusterfuck of an administration stands for.

    • Persistent Demme

      The noose is tightening, and he’s lashing out!
      I’m shocked.

      • miss_grundy

        He has been lashing out since he announced his run for president. Whenever he doesn’t get his way or someone voices a contrary opinion, he goes off on a tear and has a tantrum. Nothing new. I hope the day they lead him out of the White House, he has an enormous tantrum on television, so that they have to drag him away.

  • Infrequentcontributor

    Thank you for being decent human being and wishing for John McCain’s recovery. I was a little worried about what I would find here once I heard the news this morning. I should have known better. :-)

    • The Wanderer

      We may be a vile snark mob, but we am nice!

      • OutOfOrbit

        Speak for yerself

    • Courser_Resistance

      Personally, I find it impossible to hate on John McCain. Regardless of his politics, I think he’s a hero and generally decent man. I didn’t want him for Pres, but he was pretty credible until he chose Palin. It was all downhill from there.

    • miss_grundy

      You should have been here last night.

  • The Wanderer

    I wonder why Ms. Veselnitskaya is so worried. There’s many people who profited by hawking radioactive cures:

    http://68.media.tumblr.com/07389a8d055051a9e88424d0ce1e8e76/tumblr_nvvm8tVOyn1rwjpnyo2_1280.jpg

    • Ghenghis McCann

      I’m glad the water has been triple distilled, otherwise I’d be worried about how safe this was.

      • The Wanderer

        Thank goodness, right?

        • Ghenghis McCann

          It would be such a shame if Gwyneth was hawking something dangerous on Goop.

    • miss_grundy

      I guess she doesn’t know that everybody is reading Kate Moore’s “The Radium Girls”, which is very good, by the way.

  • William

    Oh look. The “family values” party is at it again .Ky GOP official accused of indecent exposure in Tennessee department store
    http://www.courier-journal.com/story/news/crime/2017/07/19/ky-gop-official-accused-indecent-exposure-tennessee-department-store/491185001/

    • YoBunnyBunny

      At Belk?????

      Sweet cheezus…

      • HorseChestnut

        Who the hell could get it up at Belk? It smells like back-to-school shopping with grandma.

        • Yr. Gma

          You say that like it’s a bad thing.

  • William
    • The Wanderer

      Be Blah?

      • William

        No. Incorrect. Being black gets you shot.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Being Blah often involves more than being arrested.

      • TakingAmes

        And/or poor.

    • Kakkeltje

      Laugh at Jeff Sessions?

      • From Russia with Love

        Very well played!

  • Oblios_Cap

    A new bill to that would make boycotting Israel a felony

    Damn! The GOP is trying to make me a felon so that they can stop me from voting!

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I clicked through to the article Greenwald linked to, and I can’t quite see where he’s getting that from the text. Maybe I’m missing something? Because what I read seemed like it involved eligibility for government contracts. Which obvs isn’t right, but it’s also not throwing random citizens in jail for not buying israeli.

      • HorseChestnut

        Yes this! I think we need to put on our extra-strength Greenwald skepticism glasses, this smells like bad journalism. (What, you don’t smell with your eyes?)

    • From Russia with Love

      No matter where you are vacationing this summer, it had better fucking be Israel.

      • Yr. Gma

        I know, right? Geez.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • William
    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Speaking of which, has the shitgibbon tweeted anything about McCain since the news?

      • The Wanderer

        “Thoughts and prayers,” followed by “Get well soon.”

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          No doubt tweeted by an aide.

          • The Wanderer

            Released by the Office of the Press Secretary.
            In other words, “TASS has been authorized to announce . . . “

        • cmd resistor

          First appeared on the POTUS account and then about 10:30 he retweeted on his regular stupid account.

      • JesusWasAHippie

        “John McCain. Terrific, wonderful guy. Bigly. If he’da beat Obama this country would be a better place. I won by more than any other candidate in history. There were so many people at my inauguration they were turning them away at the door. Did I mention I won in a landslide? More than anyone else, ever. That is not fake news. The liberal media wouldn’t report it.”

        • William

          “I like people who DON’T get cancer”

        • From Russia with Love

          Nothin like them Frenchies comin to see me at the Eiffel Tower though.

      • William

        I don’t know. I can’t look at Trumps tweets without feeling like I need to bath in a septic tank afterwards…you know, just until I feel clean.

        • JesusWasAHippie

          lol!

        • SweetDeeKat

          It helps if you only read them here. The snark makes me feel it is my safe place.

      • ltmcdies

        released a statement which was the absolute most generic and the least one would say in the circumstances..

        • BreakingDeadMen

          From the official White House account, which means he probably didn’t have any say about it.

    • Doug Langley

      Wait – what is this?? Complete sentences? Coherent thinking? No faux paux? What are you trying to do here?

      • ltmcdies

        and probably wrote it himself

  • Doug Langley

    I’d like to think of McCain as a nation hero, but every time I do the words “Keating Five” keep popping up.

    • From Russia with Love

      Guy’s been all over the map. Some not so good, some pretty bad.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    This is what happens when you can’t stop talking and your mouth is a million miles ahead of your brain:

    https://twitter.com/HelenKennedy/status/887887022022549506

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      It’s like Drunk History without the drinking only.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        This is a brain on spirochetes.

      • SweetDeeKat

        At least Drunk History is accurate.

    • William

      Oh come on. Lighten up. It’s not like he thought Andrew Jackson was alive during the civil war or some crazy shit like that.

  • Bozilingus

    A lot of speculation about tRump’s second meeting with Putin at G20. Melania was seated next to Putin at that dinner, also, too. What was their conversation about?

    • William
    • Bub, Zombie in mourning

      “Oh, Vlad…may I call you Vlad? It’s terrible. He is so tiny, and finishes in seconds. I am never satisfied! *touches Putin’s sleeve, looks into his eyes* “I so desperately need a real man, a real president, to make me happy…” *puts her hand on Putin’s thigh, then slides it upwards…*

      • From Russia with Love

        And?

        • Bub, Zombie in mourning

          Always leave ’em wanting more…

          • From Russia with Love

            You have succeeded.

    • cmd resistor

      Wasn’t that Trump’s version of the story, that he stopped by Melania’s chair and had a few casual words with Putin?
      If I were writing this movie I would have Melania be a spy, I THINK.

      • BeachBum

        At least a double agent. Or triple. Ok, now I kornfuzed myself.

    • BeachBum

      Real estate. Mansions. Villas. Chateaus. Dachas. On the Black Sea. A small modest castle near St Petersburg. Getting a good price on Slovenia. Ya know, real estate.

  • La forza del resistino

    McCain first runs from the House from AZ and is labeled a out of state carpetbagger. He responds – ‘I grew up a Navy brat always on the move, As a matter of fact, when I think about it now, the place I lived longest in my life was Hanoi’.

  • cmd resistor

    That story about Behrends is pretty amazing. Amazing how all these assholes connect. Him, Eric Prince, all the Russians.

  • cmd resistor

    I just forced myself to read that while transcript. Just wow. So that part about crowds of people hanging out under the Eiffel Tower just because they’d heard he was there eating dinner was really in it. I thought maybe that had been a joke.

    • Khavrinen

      So, one could say that Trump is monumentally self-centered, right?

  • Persistent Demme

    OMG!
    Baby Rhino!
    Squeeeeeee!

  • Bitter Scribe

    I’m starting to realize that Trump’s whole appeal is that he slings insults. That’s it. He doesn’t have to lay a single brick in any border wall or create a single coal-mining job. As long as he appeals to the latent raging resentment in his supporters who are angry at “liberals” (meaning blacks, Hispanics, gays, Muslims, feminists or whoever else they think is encroaching on their special privileges), they’ll forgive him anything and never expect anything of him.

    • BeachBum

      I think you are right. They were spoiled by the short time in human history after WW II when the rest of the world was in ruins and we could make and sell and do anything we wanted. They want 1957 again. Then the world recovered and they think we changed too much. They have a zero sum mind set and don’t wanna share, like a spoiled brats first day in kindergarten. The reality is prolly we didn’t change enough or fast enough with the world.
      When we get out of our doldrums, China will be no 1 in almost everything and will never look back. The irony is, of course, Columbus went looking for China.

  • John Mccain has cancer? Well who cares?* Here’s a real problem to be concerned about.

    Milo Yiannopoulos just swiped the big bottle of whine (made only with finest of sour grapes) from his predecessor Ann Coulter (who is in the process of exposing the vast “anti-bitch” conspiracy enacted against her by the powerful organizations of Big Flight Attendant and Big Customer.) You see, Milo is pissing and moaning being “censored” for being too “articulate” (giggle)

    http://www.newsweek.com/milo-npr-censor-right-wing-left-638514

    Hopefully he was more “articulate” than the article which repeated recently debunked claims about Milo’s “successful” book.

    So did the liberal meanies at NPR suppress Milo’s “articlate” hatemongering instigating? Well…no…

    http://www.snopes.com/2017/07/19/milo-yiannopoulos-npr/

    • HazooToo

      If ‘too articulate’ means that he sees nothing wrong with fucking children, then yes, that’s exactly why he’s been censored.

  • Alexander Stallwitz
    • Zyxomma

      Thank you. This is so fucked, and so predictable.

    • VirginiaWackelpudding

      If Kentucky lets them get away with it they is dumb as a post. That’s a grift and an insult.

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        I think Ham made a major blunder here, the County is not going to let them get away with this unchallenged. The amount of tax revnue at stake all but ensures a showdown will happen.

  • bookish

    When everything else is turning to shit, we always have beautiful zoo babies happy nice times. So needed.

  • Zyxomma

    Thank you for that beautiful baby rhino. They’re critically endangered, so every single one of them is precious.

    • ThatDale

      Every rhino sperm is precious.

  • BeachBum

    I, for one, believe it is well past the time for vagina carrying Americans to run things in Washington. http://www.philly.com/philly/opinion/commentary/the-price-of-ignoring-gop-women-senators-20170720.html

  • Yr. Gma

    I wonder if some French journalists have done comparison photos of the Eiffel Tower during this Bastille Day celebrations to photos of other years (you know, like Donnie’s inauguration.) I wouldn’t be surprised to see that “his” crowd was smaller.

  • Khavrinen

    “Trump’s budget wants even more money to continue sabotaging healthcare for poor people.”

    Wait, I thought the whole point of shafting the poors was to save money ( for rich people tax cuts ), not spend more of it?

  • SeeTrain65

    Nice. My county has only Anthem to cover our citizens. The hilljack, lickspittle county to the West of us has three. When Anthem goes, they still have two, our county is fucked. And they voted in even greater numbers for this Orange-Tinged Jabba The Hut.

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