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Kobach and try it again

Now, don’t you crazy liberals get any kind of ideas that Kansas Secretary of State Kris Kobach, vice-chair of Donald Trump’s voting fraud commission, is treating the commission’s “investigation” as cover for some kind of national attempt to restrict voting. That would be very unfair of you, even though he was already pushing ideas to make voting harder in a November 2016 email he sent the Trump transition team. He never actually wrote up a plan, so he’s now perfectly objective, don’t you see?

In the email, dated the day after the election, Kobach replied to transition team member Gene Hamilton, who had asked Kobach to help put “a package of things together” for fixing voting. Kobach was delighted to help, because he already had some terrific ideas for changing the National Voter Registration Act (NVRA):

The NVRA, or “Motor voter” law, is the the pesky federal law that keeps getting in the way of his brilliant plan to require proof of citizenship for all first-time voter registrations in the state. Amend the NVRA, and those darn lawsuits go away! The email was one of several documents released Friday as part of an ACLU lawsuit against Kobach’s brilliant state law.

Now, before you all go saying that the fix was in, and that Kobach already has a plan to gut the NVRA’s protections for voters even before the commission meets, keep in mind this caveat from his attorney:

In a July 7 email to the ACLU also filed as part of court documents, Garrett Roe, Kobach’s attorney, noted the November email only referred to the possibility of a draft NVRA amendment and that the draft was never sent.

See? He only wants to gut the NVRA real bad so the ACLU can’t let any undocumented Tomas, Ricardo, or Javier waltz into your voting booths straight from the border and steal your elections, like he knows they already do. He hasn’t actually written down any such plan, so maybe he’s going into this commission thing with an open mind, and will objectively assess the evidence for the first time in his life. All he wants to do is make absolutely certain that the vote is fair, and that only citizens are voting:

Kobach told the Daily Signal last year that every time an illegal immigrant votes, “it effectively cancels out a vote of a U.S. citizen,” and said there is “huge potential” for those votes to alter the outcome of an election.

“Even if it’s just a handful of votes, it’s still a huge injustice,” he said.

Except, it turns out that we’re talking about an extremely tiny handful. Like, even smaller than a short-fingered vulgarian’s hands:

“Based on state prosecution records, votes by noncitizens account for between 0.0003 percent and 0.001 percent of all votes cast,” according to an analysis by the Brennan Center, a non-partisan think tank that works to expand voting access.

Conversely, a national survey sponsored by the Brennan Center in 2006 found that millions of Americans do not have access to documentary proof of their citizenship. In Kansas, thousands of voter registrations have been refused or put “on hold” because of failure to provide proper documentation under Kobach’s SAFE Act.

OK, but those studies are obviously flawed, because they don’t account at all for the two or three million illegal immigrants who Donald Trump knows voted for Hillary Clinton. If the studies don’t bear out that number, then obviously the studies are wrong, because where would Donald Trump get a big number like that? Other than from his good friend Kris Kobach, who Kellyanne Conway confirmed was the source of Trump’s worry about those millions of illegal votes.

Some wild-eyed radical liberals who support voting rights for ISIS (or at least old black ladies) seem to think the email confirms their preconceived notions about Kobach:

Critics of Kobach say the email proves the voter fraud commission is aiming to restrict voting access regardless of any findings it may make. “I think the email is wholly unsurprising,” said Justin Levitt, elections expert at Loyola Law School.”I won’t be shocked as more proof emerges that the cake is already baked.”

That doesn’t seem very objective at all. Maybe Kobach will only want to restrict voting access a little, like for Democrats but not Republicans. Where’s your sense of compromise?

In any case, now all Kobach has to do is get his commission to find the evidence of the voter fraud he told Donald Trump is out there. After that carefully designed effort proves he was right all along, then and only then will Kris Kobach recommend changes to the NVRA so everyone in America will have to jump through a tinier, Republican-shaped hoop in order to register to vote. You have to let the scientific method run its course, before you do what you planned to all along, don’t you know.

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[WaPo / HuffPo / Kansas City Star]

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  • Suse

    OT: It’s Made in America Week! Pence is introducing Drumpy right now. What total BS.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    every time an unnecessary regulation suppressed votes, “it effectively cancels out a vote of a U.S. citizen”

    /fixed
    /FFS

  • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

    None of the people that have said to me “It doesn’t matter if we vote” has evers answered my question as to why the R’s try to hard to suppress voter turnout.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Do they get that wide-eyed and gaping look like a freshly-hooked trout?

      • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

        More of a resentful glare.

    • jesterpunk

      The only response I have ever heard is because the candidates are not exciting enough and not someone they want to hang out with.

  • memzilla Ω

    Why not simplify things and just call it the “Only White People Can Vote” Commission?

    • Marla

      …and simplify that down to Only Rich White Middle-Aged Men Can Vote Commission

      • Trip Space-Parasite

        Better make it Only Rich White Middle-Aged Men in Slave States Can Vote Commission, just to be sure.

        • Ricky Gay

          Or, “Just stay home and let us do what we want!”

    • elviouslyqueer

      “Only White People Who Will Vote The Way We Tell Them To Can Vote” Commission.

      There. FIFY.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        We’ve got a winner!

  • Joe Beese
    • SterWonk

      Awesome. Because death threats are really helpful, don’t make the people making the threats look like whack-jobs, and never backfire and make the person change their mind out of spite. <headdesk>

  • Anna Rompage

    KKKris KKKobach, what a total fucking douchecanoe

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Kobach told the Daily Signal last year that every time an illegal immigrant votes, “it effectively cancels out a vote of a U.S. citizen, George Soros gets a pinkoboner.”…

    FTFY

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “Daily Signal”? What, the “Life” of the Third Reich is back, only published daily?

  • Beanz&Berryz

    It’s really just the Lipstick (on a pig) Commission

  • PixieThis

    And this is why it’s important to vote. Vote locally, vote county, vote state and vote nationally. Every freaking election matters, even if you’re only voting for freaking dog catcher because that’s all there is on the ballot – it matters!. We squander our rights and we don’t fight hard enough for those marginalized by morons like kobach. 40% or less voting in each election is PITIFUL.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Kobach’s entire schtick is to attack people likely not to vote Rethuglican, so this is absolutely no surprise at all.

    Besides, the real problems with voting in this country happen at the county level, not at the individual level, and the cases uncovered are nearly all by R’s trying to push things R.

  • BigCSouthside

    Is anybody in this administration trying to do something good?

    • The Wanderer

      Nope.

    • elviouslyqueer

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

      • BigCSouthside

        I know, just once I’d like to see something not awful come of this

    • Ricky Gay

      Depends on your definition of good.

    • mancityRed6

      they’re being real good at leaving evidence behind

    • mailman27

      Trying to fuck us over real good.

    • chortlingdingo

      Well, that depends. Are you a multi-millionaire, or billionaire (even better), who wants to pay fewer taxes and owns stock in charter schools or ISPs?

  • ArgieBargie

    Look at this fat, bloated imbecile. He looks like a drunken, semi-retired quarterback who’s best season was well over a decade ago.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Probably sells women’s shoes

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Ed Bundy libelz!

        • Jamespuck

          Its Al Bundy.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Al, Ed, it’s all the same!

          • Jamespuck

            Played by Ed O’Neal so you are somewhat correct.

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        Used, to paraphiliacs.

    • MrTusks

      He’s your dad and he’s very disappointed you went out for the debate team instead of baseball.

  • The Wanderer

    Something big – like disenfranchising entire swathes of voters – requires a fig leaf of propriety, something that Kobach, his minions, and the Pig People who still support Trump can point to.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    This is fun…

    “[T]he theorist who starts with a false theory and then sees everything as making it come true is the most dangerous enemy of human reason.” – G.K. Chesterton

  • Fartknocker

    Finally, a story with an elections expert who again confims this is voter suppression – AND – who is skilled enough to mention another cake we like. Freedom cakes, especially with those little sprinkles that get into the crown of your teeth.

  • mancityRed6

    this asshole, again.
    oh, and he recently had his 9th conviction of “voter fraud”, or “voting without being qualified”
    http://www.kansascity.com/news/politics-government/article148434369.html
    and this pic
    https://img.wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/Kobach-fraud-commission-fox.jpg
    why is he in KCMO?
    if he truly was there (he wasn’t) he would be on a hill of grass behind the WW1 memorial. trust me, I’ve been there.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ece8a8e9c59302a95a8a8d5ebb135f058fab7938e660a3dbe6424473697bf316.jpg

    • Alt-dog

      With proper green screen manipulation I’ll bet they can actually make him appear to be human.

      • mancityRed6

        nothing can hide the blackness of his soul

    • BouncyFlyer

      A skyline of a great city, marred by a living anus (who doesn’t live on this side of the state line – doesn’t To-Puke-a have sat uplinks? Sheesh.)

      • mancityRed6

        Topeka has the 666 in their zip code, donchaknow

    • Rasilom

      Wow! Prosecuted 9 whole cases. Now lets do some basic maths (sot down and shut up! I never said there would no math!) Assuming these all happened in Kansas, what is the percentage of fraudilent voters to legal votes cast. Answer: a stastially irellivent number well under .002%. Fuck the media for not actually reporting the truth. If they would just em
      post the actual percentage when ever they talk about this shit I think most folks would see it for the nothingburger it is. But no, i stead its 9 Convicted of Voter fraud with no explanation about how that actually means nothing to the electoral integrity of the system.

      • Skeptical_thinker

        Odds are good that most of the fraudulent votes were for GOP candidates.

        • Rasilom

          This also too.

  • JMP

    Why, it’s almost every time someone claims to be concerned about voter fraud, which is so rare it basically doesn’t exist, they’re lying because they just use that as an excuse to try and steal people’s right to vote, the most important and central right there is!

    • jesterpunk

      They never seem to focus on election fraud which is a bigger issue.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      By golly, I think the robot has it!

    • MrTusks

      Kinda unusual that the guy who just won without the popular vote and under controversy is supremely concerned about voter fraud…like he wants to make sure his own voter fraud keeps working.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    45,000 mining jobs, Alan!

  • elviouslyqueer

    “Even if it’s just a handful of votes, it’s still a huge injustice,” he said.

    Won’t somebody think of those poor pitiful Republicans who didn’t get all the votes?

  • mancityRed6

    and this is where Kobach goes to relax, in blue as blue Douglas County
    http://www2.ljworld.com/news/2015/may/17/douglas-county-says-kobach-was-not-shown-favoritis/

    • Anna Rompage

      Is that where KKKris likes to take the homeless orphans he’s kidnapped to rape and torture them?

      • mancityRed6

        the plans he put forward were to use it as an agricultural building, not a residence.
        so, maybe?

      • Rasilom

        Having posted the same thing twice myself. I always like it when it fits in so well. This slayed me when it showed up under the gay wedding cake. Too rich…(shit did I just say that?)

        Edit: It is excellent here also too.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Hey Guys! New Jersey is sending my birth certificate so I’m on my way to getting my driver’s license. Yes! My driver’s license.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Yee Haw! You go, Ev.
      Congratulamations.

  • Jgb979

    .”I won’t be shocked as more proof emerges that the cake is already baked.”

    Fun fact: it’s the gayest wedding cake you’ve ever seen made by Jesus loving bakers at GUNPOINT

    https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/43/e3/1b/43e31b647b49e2f97105c76de842aa94–rainbow-birthday-cakes-rainbow-cakes.jpg

    • Anna Rompage

      Good lord, that is way too much food coloring….

      I bet the guests were crapping rainbows for days…

  • Jamespuck

    Watching the Hypocrite in chief. Buy American so that means to totally boycott his family and their made everywhere except USA products. To totally ignore his lies and contradictions. To keep fighting against his assholiness. What does he know about being middle or low income? This is a bunch of bullcrap he is spewing again. Pass the word, pass on Trump and any companies that he is associated with. Fuck You Trumps.

    • jesterpunk
      • BigCSouthside

        Shit I boycott local businesses I know supported him.

        • Jamespuck

          I went to a local watering hole last week. The Yahoo’s at the bar were talking about climate change is fake and our scientists are just guessing at everything. Then they said they only drank USA made beer. I asked them who owned the Budweiser label they were swilling? They said Anheuser Busch in America. I laughed at them, they got pissed called me snowflake. I left when bartender agreed with them. Drank one Sam Adams left exact change. Never again

        • Marceline

          I stopped seeing my doctor of 30 years because of his Trump vote.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Made in America by those 15,000 low wage visas we just granted!

    • cmd resistor

      Sean Spicer had some interesting (as in, did he really say this shit) responses to questions about whether the Trumps would try to start manufacturing their crap in the US of A. https://www.buzzfeed.com/coralewis/spicer-made-in-america-week?utm_term=.hcejGgpgb#.we7L0kKkG

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    “Yessir Mr. Vice President, all of our products are hand made in the good ole USA.”

    “Handmaiden America?” Pence responded furtively, “I like the sound of that!”

  • William
    • Msgr_MΩment

      I thought MAGA meant
      Molest
      American
      Goats
      Again.

      • MynameisBlarney

        goatse*

        • elviouslyqueer

          Oh, great minds, darling!

          • MynameisBlarney

            Internet Hi 5!

      • elviouslyqueer

        Make America Goatse Again.

        Fixed, because obvs.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Totes obvs.

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      Wow, an actual parody of a “Million Ways to Die in the West” poster. Bit of a stretch, but as a MacFarlane fan, I’ll allow it!

    • mancityRed6

      look at how he saves the sheep from the wicked Pence.
      what a hero

  • Panika MCD

    if .0003-.001% of the ballots cast were by illegal voters, that’s 37,800-126,000. Tsarina Von Clownstick won the states that were pivotal by about 77,000 votes. so maybe we should be looking into every Trofim, Frol and Egor.

    • mancityRed6

      9 in Kansas so far since he got the authority to prosecute
      and all have been citizens who voted in two states

      • Shanzgood

        And mostly Republicans, IIRC.

        And whatever happened to that nice old (Republican) lady who was reported to have voted by a mail-in ballot brought to her by her sheriff son in a nursing home? She was using an address she hadn’t lived at for over a year and he KNEW it. Last I heard, Kobach’s office wouldn’t even answer whether they were going to prosecute or not.

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance
      • Panika MCD

        Igor is “George”. Egor can be “Harry”.

  • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

    Kobach told the Daily Signal last year that every time an illegal immigrant votes, “it effectively cancels out a vote of a U.S. citizen,”

    If that citizen who gets his vote cancel is you, Kris, I’m OK with that.

    • DrBigHead

      I thought that every time an illegal immigrant voted, an angel got his wings.

      Or is that a different story…..

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        That’s the version of “It’s A Wonderful Life” directed by Frank Capra’s non-union Mexican equivalent.

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          “It’s a Woeful Life” Starring Don “Corleone” Trump. Every time he lies a devil gets his pitchfork.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      That is absolutely the dumbest thing ever. If one person, an illegal immigrant and a legal citizen vote for the same person it doesn’t cancel out shit. Someone needs to teach him about integers.

      • mancityRed6

        it’s Kansas, they have a few feed lots and processing plants that real “Muricans don’t want to work at.
        plus, they have the guy who compared hunting wild hogs with hunting illegals.
        you can’t expect rational thinking.

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        Yeah, no illegal immigrant will vote the way KKKobach wants, so ipso delecto pluribus unum it’s a cancelled vote.

        • Weird Fishes

          In vino veritas, Sir.

          • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

            And a carpe felinium, et spiritu nolo contendere to you!

          • Paul

            I was told there’d be no conjugation.

      • Bobathonic

        Let’s entertain his delusion, for argument’s sake – an illegal vote always cancels a legitimate vote. His approach is still to cancel tens of thousands of legitimate votes (or more) to prevent that one illegal vote. Stoopid.

        • Shanzgood

          Major STOOPID

    • jesterpunk

      What happens when a Trumpiter votes twice?

  • Panika MCD

    also too: Kobach’s not going to get in Sessions’ way when it comes to suppressing the vote.

    https://www.brennancenter.org/blog/purge-ten-years-later

  • BigCSouthside

    Well, it’s Trump-30. We find out they wheeled Stalin’s corpse into Junior’s Russian circle jerk or something?

    I seriously get queasy at around this time every day

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Four minutes to go…..

  • Rick St. Richards

    Nov. 8

    Hillary Clinton Appears to Gain Late Momentum on Surge of Latino Voters

    https://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/06/us/…/hillary-clinton-donald-trump-campaign.html

    Nov. 9

    Latino surge for Hillary Clinton fails to materialize

    https://www.bostonglobe.com/news/nation/2016/11/08/latino-surge-for-hillary-clinton-fails-materialize-according-exit-polls/pg6G5nINo69Ai7qv4rZpZO/story.html

  • Anna Rompage

    Holy sweet mary & jospeh having a 3 way in a barn with jesus’s father self…

    Donnie Jr is really Job from Arrested Development…

  • arglebargle

    If we just had one name on each ballot we would eliminate any chance of voter fraud. Think about that libtards.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Hey Koback — whites-only pools aren’t legal in this country anymore — and that goes for the voting pool too.

    • Rick St. Richards

      yet blacks are calling for black only graduation ceremonys, black only dorms, black only classrooms

      • mancityRed6

        aww, bless your heart.

        • Rick St. Richards

          …thats not an argument…

          • mancityRed6

            and you’re not that smart. thanks for playing.

      • Shanzgood

        I bet the women-only Wonder Woman screenings grated your cheese, too.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Have a citation for that one, Sparky?

        • Rasilom

          M*A*S*H Liblez!!!

      • SayItWithWookies

        Because of people like you?

      • MrTusks

        I bet you’re also jealous of their monopoly on the n-word.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Here are the Made in America companies:
    https://www.whitehouse.gov/blog/2017/07/17/made-america

    Lots of weird.

    • mancityRed6

      Grasshopper mowers for Kansas.
      even though my grandpa had one, I still remember when they made planes in Kansas.

    • jesterpunk

      Really they could only find 1 company from each state?

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Methinks they just went to a clickbait website and made some calls. I suspect most of those companies fail to show.

        • jesterpunk

          For PA they could have picked any Amish company, there are a shit ton of them and they make some pretty decent things.

          • mancityRed6

            same as Ohio and Indiana

          • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

            Most of the Midwest in act.

          • MynameisBlarney

            My grandparents bought a few Amish made rocking chairs and a porch swing and a little table way back in the late 70’s or early 80’s that are still in the family.
            Amish know their furniture.

          • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

            Yuengling Beer is a HELLUVA lot better than Narragansett.

          • Bobathonic

            Billionaire owner endorsed…I won’t say, you maybe really want to keep drinking it.

          • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

            Yeah, I know, but it’s still one of the few American beers I like. Besides, I actually can’t buy it in my state, but when I go to the casinos in Louisiana, I pick up a case to bring back.

          • MrTusks

            I too look past the Trumpiness of Yuengling, because in this isolated instance I am participating in the pure, free market and buying a product I like on its merits alone.

          • Panika MCD

            it’s the commute and their tiny twitter presence.

          • jesterpunk

            He had signs up before the election saying “Trump shares the same values as the Amish”. It was really weird to see that all over the place.

          • Boojum

            I never knew the Amish were into slapping gold electroplate on everything. I kind of thought that was contrary to a basic reason they are Amish.

          • jesterpunk

            It is, they also pay people and like getting paid for their work. They are basically against everything Trump is for.

          • Boojum

            Presence = Fingers?

          • Panika MCD

            modern technology of any kind.

          • MrTusks

            Goddamn Ames wheelbarrows for PA? They could have picked Yuengling, America’s oldest brewery and vocal Trump supporter to boot. Dafuq?

          • jesterpunk

            The list is pretty lazy and doesnt make much sense what they included.

        • Panika MCD

          I’m hoping Stetson is a fail to show.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        Yeah, that seems really hinky, I mean, giving free advertising for just one company per state but not for any of the others.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Are fast food restaurants on there?

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Chick Fill Et

      • Itakecofefewithwackelpudding

        GA. Chick-fil-A

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Nevada – Kimmie Candy Company

      From the Kimmie Candy Company website:

      In 2000, Joe Dutra, a third generation farmer, established Kimmie Candy based on a farm in his hometown of Sacramento, California.

      With the goal of creating more American jobs, in 2005 Dutra relocated himself and the previously-offshore Korean manufacturing operation to Reno, Nevada.

      I guess all the actual Nevada companies took a hard pass.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Seems to be quite a few missing.
      John Deere. Lodge Cast Iron, a fucking SHIT-TON of gun makers, not to mention all the military shit we make.
      It was like the did a grueling 10 second google search for each state.

    • jesterpunk

      They picked Gibson? The CEO is an asshole who illegally imported rosewood then cried when it was taken from him then made “government special” shitty expensive guitars from it.

      • elviouslyqueer

        I remember that kerfuffle vividly. Funny, too, when I walk by the factory in downtown Memphis, it’s always really, eerily quiet.

      • Opalescent Riddles

        Yeah, Fox News sycophants blamed Obama for it, but it was Bush 43 who signed legislation strengthening the Lacey Act with bipartisan support.

        • jesterpunk

          They pretend that guy didnt exist and it went from Clinton to Obama with nothing in between.

          • Boojum

            Yeah. Remember how there were no terrorist attacks during W’s Presidency, because he kept us safe? Oh, yeah, except for that one time…

    • elviouslyqueer

      Of all the things they could have representing Louisiana, fucking baseball bats?

      Also, lookie what else is Made In America! Straight outta Syracuse, yo. https://dicksbymail.com/pages/about-us

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Maine – Yachts?
        Yeah, because when I think of Maine I think of yachts…

        • MynameisBlarney

          You’d think rich folk would know all about yachts.

        • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

          Yeah, Joe Six-Pack is obviously in the market for a yacht, a Ditch Witch excavator, and Eddie Heath’s Crab Pots.

          And….Sikorsky? Really? Isn’t ANYONE on that team looking at optics?

        • Panika MCD

          I think of Florida when I think of yachts.

          we had a state senator who tried to have a tax cut just for luxury boats because 126 of them that are owned by Texans are moored in Florida. it got laughed out of the room.

      • Boojum

        Shouldn’t baseball bats be Louisville? Maybe it’s a typo? Louisiana/Louisville. One’s a State, one’s a city. Could be!

    • Jamespuck

      I wonder how many of these he owns a stake in? And if they use all American made products in the assembly and making of the food?

    • Panika MCD

      these have to be wrong:

      West Virginia
      Homer Laughlin China Company
      Iconic fiesta line of china

      Wisconsin
      Pierce Manufacturing
      Two firetrucks

      I mean “fiesta china” has got to set xenophobe meters to “OMGHAZI!” across the country. and if you’ve only ever produced TWO of one thing ever, are you really a manufacturer?

      • mancityRed6

        Pierce is a brand I recognize, only because I’ve seen them before.
        I’m fairly certain they’ve done more than two. but I have no idea why it says that.

        • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

          That’s probably the number they brought.

          • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

            But how many crab pots are they bringing?

          • cmd resistor

            That would be the firetruck that Trump is photographed in, then.

          • Boojum

            Trump bought them both, to play fireman in with Malaria.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        I happen to like Fiestaware. It’s a classic. I’m buying some one place setting at a time as my old stuff wears out.
        https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fiesta_(dinnerware)

        • Paul

          Holly’s favorite restaurant features Fiestaware in its ad. It’s a majestic old building built by the CCC atop the state’s highest mountain, smack dab on the Appalachian Trail that runs through the state park.Like Caribou Barbie and Russia, we can see the mountain from our place, across the valley.

          Here’s a link showing off Fiestaware. Wander around the site, it’s beautiful. Especially the photo on the home page. Holly’s very interested in astronomy but used to live in Pittsburgh and the city overglow precluded any star gazing. Up here in the hills of western Mass. you can walk out on the deck and see the Milky Way, as that picture shows.

          http://www.bascomlodge.net/2/Calendar.aspx

          Holly further loves the mountain because J.K. Rowling said it is where the US wizard school is. She and her kids read all the Harry Potter books and she’s a big fan. If you’re interested:

          http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Ilvermorny_School_of_Witchcraft_and_Wizardry

          She likes it here and I’m sure glad she does.

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        They’re artisinal fire trucks.

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      Ohio Bully Tools Shovels, rakes, hoes etc.

      Republican favorite.

    • therblig

      when i think of massachusetts, i think of horseshoes.

      sikorsky only makes model helicopters now?

    • cmd resistor

      The drivel text following the list is crap:
      “The Trump Administration is honoring the incredible workers and companies who make “Made in America” the world standard for quality and craftsmanship. America is a nation that honors the work of gifted and skilled tradespeople, but for too long our government has forgotten the American workers. Their interests were pushed aside for global projects and their wealth was taken from their communities and shipped overseas. Under the leadership of President Trump, not only will the American worker never be forgotten, but they will be championed. President Trump has offered a new vision: the well-being of the American citizen and worker will be placed second to none.” There’s more, but I figured this was plenty.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      They didn’t even mention Penzey’s Spices? Weird…

  • SnarkON

    I still can’t get past the idea that a undocumented citizen interested in committing fraud would risk arrest, exportation and deportation…to vote.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      You, with your logic and critical thinking!

    • MynameisBlarney

      Why do you hate ‘Merka?

    • Bub, Zombie in mourning

      I love the notion that the Democrats would conspire to commit millions of voter fraud felonies in states Hillary Clinton was easily going to win anyway, while ignoring the swing states that decided the election. Smrt!

    • Old town Urbandale

      Right. I hear about how the undocumented aren’t reporting wage theft, sexual assault, and on and on for fear of being deported, yet they’re going to go vote while some old white dude Republican poll watcher gives every person of color the evil eye and has ICE on speed dial?

  • Rick St. Richards

    white liberal logic “blacks are either too poor to afford one… or too stupid to know how to go about getting a picture ID”

    • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

      Wut?

      • Spurning Beer

        Correction: What the fuck?

      • Marceline

        We’ve got a new DSFB contender.

        • mancityRed6

          not even. bored already.

    • Proud Liberal

      Rightwing nutjob logic “everybody is an illegal voter, except White male landowners.”

      • Rick St. Richards

        expect White male landowners?..oh…you mean how the liberal founding fathers preferred it…ha ha ha ha

        • Proud Liberal

          I fixed it Ricky boy.

        • Boojum

          Yeah…just like they preferred black people to count as 3/5 of a regular (white) person.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Or “Your birth certificate from eighty years ago spelled your last name differently than our records show. So no license until you pay the $200 fee to change it.”

      • Jamespuck

        Ricky is just a troll. Dick St Dickhard is his real name. He’s mad he cannot vote cause reading hurts his skullbone.

      • mancityRed6

        if you’re lucky enough to have a birth certificate.

      • Panika MCD

        or your ex-husband didn’t sign off on you ditching his last name.

    • Dutchman
    • Alt-dog

      Racist conservative logic: “there are no impoverished blacks… they’ve all got cell phones.”

    • mancityRed6

      it must be easy for you, you just have your mom drive you down to the DMV, huh?

    • jesterpunk

      When Governor Wheels cant even get the right id for a law he supported there is a problem.

      https://thinkprogress.org/texas-attorney-general-almost-disenfranchised-by-his-own-voter-id-law-345621085c84

    • Panika MCD

      you are very confused about the reason people oppose voter ID.

      I’m sure that if your grandparent couldn’t vote with their veteran ID card or social security card and didn’t have a birth certificate as many in their generation didn’t, you’d have a problem with it, too!

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      The article is not about picture ID. Idiot.

    • Boojum

      Dick Street Dicks logic…no, nothing there. Just a bunch of disconnected random sentences it parrots out.

  • Bub, Zombie in mourning

    Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States.

    https://twitter.com/BraddJaffy/status/887037434449547264

    • BigCSouthside

      Playing in big trucks seems to be something he’s fond of

      • Bobathonic

        Something father something compensation something.

    • Bobathonic

      “They always let me show my firehose.”

    • Royal Ugly Dude
    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      As if he could even hold a fully charged firehose or an air pack.

    • Canis Greyhame

      Oh for fuck’s sake.

    • SeeTrain65

      140 characters limits you in so many ways.

      Trump’s full quote was, “I’ll put it out. I had a Super Big Gulp on the way here.”

  • Spurning Beer

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but haven’t the majority of the voting fraud cases that have turned out to be genuine been Republicans doing early/absentee voting?

    • MynameisBlarney

      I think AOT,K.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      IOKIYAR of course! That’s being a patriot! Lee Greenwood!

    • Rick St. Richards

      Student headed to prison for registering dead voters for Democrats

      http://www.businessinsider.com/andrew-spieles-virginia-voter-registration-2017-6

      • Spurning Beer

        That reply wasn’t NEARLY racist enough. You can do better, can’t you, Bubba?

      • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

        You are so boring.

        • Shanzgood

          I’m digging your hat, Anna!

          • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

            Thanx, Shan! :) It’s my UNIT beret, in honor of “Doctor Who”.

          • Shanzgood

            OMG all the melting broflakes online today!!!

          • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

            OIKNORITE? Losers and Weiners, alls of ’em.

          • Shanzgood
          • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

            xD

          • SeeTrain65

            THIS. RIGHT. FUCKING. HERE. ^^^^^

          • Shanzgood

            Glad you liked it! I got it from my favorite Aussie feminist author/blogger Clementine Ford!

          • SeeTrain65

            Like I said before, for “alpha males,” they sure cry a lot.

          • Bobathonic

            As if a space alien cares about human genders.

          • Edith Prickly

            I believe “the Doctor” is a gender neutral title, also too.

      • jesterpunk

        18 of them? Wow you cracked the case right there. Good job.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        That’s voter registration fraud, and it’s easy to catch because BY LAW every registration form must be turned in (even if the voter doesn’t exist).

        As they taught me when I did voter registration and Election Day monitoring. “It’s registration fraud if Mickey Mouse is registered to vote. It’s only voter fraud if someone shows up claiming to be Mickey Mouse and tries to cast a ballot.”

        • Shanzgood

          Thank you!

        • Panika MCD

          reading the article: the kid didn’t turn in forms that had been falsified by others as is required by law, he admitted to falsifying them himself. but you are correct that it was about registration fraud (and probably a $50 bonus for the person in the office who got the most cards turned in) and not voter fraud as none of them tried to vote.

          • Nockular cavity

            So, Rickroll St. Rickroll didn’t understand what the fuck he was posting? I am for shocked.

          • CripesAmighty

            It’s frankly insulting. We’re down to the ‘z-team’.

        • Boojum

          Which, in case Dick Street Dicks can’t follow, means undiscovered voter fraud to any degree likely to affect an election is extremely unlikely, as it requires nearly as many people to commit felonies as you have actual fraudulent votes. The first person to get caught flips on the conspiracy in order to cut a deal and BAM the whole thing is exposed.

          Oh, you say that no one has offered to cut a deal in exchange for exposing a massive conspiracy to commit voter fraud? What COULD we infer from that?

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          thank you!

      • Wild Cat

        Dude, ever since you lost your Bundy Buttplug, you’ve been on the rag.

      • Dg Hacket

        So doesn’t that prove that the existing laws are adequate and being enforced?

    • Shanzgood

      Ayup. And some of them demonstrably accidents by olds but prosecuted anyway.

  • Bitter Scribe

    This whole “prove you’re a citizen” shtick is of a piece with the Birther shit and the general attitudes of the Returds toward everyone who doesn’t agree with them: They’re not real Americans.

  • La forza del resistino

    Kobach is the kid who lost his 7th grade student council election and has never gotten over it.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Krooked Kris Kobach

  • Shanzgood

    Here’s how well Kobach is doing in Kansas with this voter fraud stuff.

    http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2017/05/21/kris-kobach-voter-fraud-investigation-prosecution-215164

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Oh, now it’s “the most ever“. More than the New Deal! More than Reconstruction!

    My God, the mendacity.

    https://twitter.com/FoxNews/status/887038460644790272

    • puredog

      Billz? What am they?

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        They’re what Donnie Two Scoops walks out on.

    • The Green Bastard

      “So many bills, my little hands are cramping like crazy!”

    • Stulexington

      Has anyone told him defacing currency is illegal?

    • TJ Barke

      No, he hasn’t. It’s not even remotely true. But then, lies are fine for Dear Trumpenfuhrer.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        45,000 mining jobs!

  • Bub, Zombie in mourning
  • Crystalclear12

    Kansas, we need to talk about your exportation of toxic waste.

    STOP!

  • EvelyndeBarry

    This guy is no fool–he just acts like one. He has degrees from Harvard, Yale (law school), and a Ph.D. from Oxford. I doubt he belives 10 percent of what he says. Everything he does is with one objective mind: get fewer people to vote, especially anyone who might vote for a Dem.

    • Bub, Zombie in mourning

      The only real question there is about the Trump administration is how much of the clusterfuck is malice, how much pure incompetence, and how much malicious incompetence. Although greed is at the root of all of it.

      • EvelyndeBarry

        With Kobach, it’s malice through and through. Get Americans to lose faith in electoral institutions and in democracy itself.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      I’d say that by those credentials he’s no idiot, but by his actions he’s clearly a fool.

  • what, me worry?

    If you’re wondering, at all, what these restrictions are about – ensuring vote integrity or keeping voters who Kris Kobach doesn’t like from voting – you don’t even have to infer it from the numbers of people disenfranchised. There’s proof.

    In a number of mostly Republicans states (like my great state of Georgia), and even in some historically liberal states (I’m looking at you, NJ), the majority or voting machines in use are the highly-hackable, no paper trail Diebold touchscreens.

    In fact, they are so easily hackable, someone with a highschool level understanding of computer technology can hack a machine, cause it to infect other machines, and change the total results that the machine produces, without any trace of the activity.

    http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2016/08/2016-elections-russia-hack-how-to-hack-an-election-in-seven-minutes-214144

    If Kobach’s “Papers, please” law, which targets the kind of in-person impersonation that uniquely doesn’t happen – http://www.cnn.com/videos/entertainment/2016/02/15/john-oliver-slams-voter-id-laws-last-week-tonight-vstan-orig-cws.hbo – was about vote integrity, the integrity of the voting machines would be a paramount concern. It isn’t. The owner of the Diebold company is a huge Republican donor.

    • Stulexington

      Can we find some Grey Hat to make the pencil in candidate “fix your security” win everywhere with 100% of the votes?

      • what, me worry?

        That’s kind of brilliant.

    • Panika MCD

      so why didn’t you hack the election for Bernie Sanders or Ron Paul, dipshit?

    • Dg Hacket

      Many people say Diebolt already has intentionally through the election in Ohio

  • Rick St. Richards

    it should have raised eyebrows when Trayvon Martin voted for Hillary…

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      In hindsight, how does it feel to know that voting for Trump was an act of treason?

      • Rick St. Richards

        voting for Trump was an act of treason?…says who?

        • Blackest Noobs

          says the U.S. Constitution.

        • Royal Ugly Dude

          people who are not traitors?

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      [citation needed]

      • Rick St. Richards

        sigh…you must be the real life of the party…

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          and you must be the guy whose bullshit everyone ignores.

        • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

          If your parties are as stale as your material, I’d reconsider my life choices if I was you.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω
    • Jennaratrix

      You seem nice.

    • TJ Barke
    • jesterpunk
    • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

      Boring. *block* Geez these fucking trolls are down to the bad end of the bench.

      • Shanzgood

        I feel like such a wus for only being able to flag with “I disagree with this user” now! Can’t we get “racist asshole” or “shitty person in general” instead?

        • Parakeetist

          Yeah.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          IKR?

          What the fuck? There’s no “he’s a racist, homophobic d-bag” choice.

          Fuckin’ disqus.

      • Alt-dog

        Yeah, we hardly ever get any high quality trolls anymore. I guess that’s to be expected when the best celebrity the top of the republican ticket could draw was Scott Baio.

        • Shanzgood

          That’s still funny, though.

    • Alt-dog

      Racist conservative logic: “everybody black in America has a unique name so it’s impossible that someone named Trayvon Martin could vote.”

    • Panika MCD

      hahaha! so funny to make fun of a person who was shot to death by a paranoid nincompoop for wearing a hoodie while black! you’re just a riot! I should have you at…none of my parties. no one with a brain finds that funny. you are not the life of the party.

      https://highpriestesskang.files.wordpress.com/2015/11/hey-you-gtfo.gif

    • Nockular cavity

      Your mom’s raising plenty of eyebrows out on the street corner. Would you mind please hauling her back in, again, before the cops do? Thanks ever so much.

    • Alt-dog

      I’m sure Trayvon Martin would have preferred to vote for Hillary. But he couldn’t because some republican pussy armed with a pistol soiled his panties when confronted by a teenager armed with some Skittles. You know all about republican pussies don’t you.

      • Shanzgood

        I don’t think he swings that way.

        • Alt-dog

          I see what you did there.

      • Rick St. Richards

        ..Zimmerman wakes….Trayvon be sleep…

        • Panika MCD

          I’m sorry, did you mean Zimmerman beats women? I’m sure that’s funny to you also–still the death of the party, you are!

          • Rick St. Richards

            no..I meant Zimmerman wakes…Trayvon?….he be sleep…

          • Panika MCD

            so you missed the part where Zimmerman has been accused of assault and battery by his ex and and the part where being dead is not the same as being asleep? not surprised as you are still missing what humor is and the fact that you are not humorous.

            http://68.media.tumblr.com/353836ddfe828578bc9c24cba7d2d46e/tumblr_mp3rc94NPc1qbskx5o4_250.gif

          • Rick St. Richards

            *accused…..just like Bill Clinton….

          • Panika MCD

            Bill Clinton was not charged with assault or battery. you know who was? your hero, George Zimmerman. so I’ll take that as as “yes, I Dick STD Rotturd, do enjoy brain tumors for breakfast every morning!” is your answer to my question. but I’m sure you have every single one of his mug shots to masturbate to every night!

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      This is a current events blog, sonny. Try to be relevant, all right? There’s a good lad. *pats your head*

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      you are nowhere near as funny as you think you are.
      bye, felecia.

      • Panika MCD

        near as funny. he’s not funny at all.

    • doktorzoom

      Boring troll is boring, banhammered.

      — Dok Zoom, Yr Friendly Neighborhood Comments Moderator

  • TJ Barke

    Seriously, republicans are garbage.

    • pstockholm

      They don’t get that these things don’t end well for them or at least for their offspring, in the medium long run. We won’t live to see it, but there will be tumbrels and there will be guillotines. Or whatever they have for that in the second half of the century. Or a war that shakes everything up and destroys their wealth and their privilege, or just erases them personally. And a lot of us too.

  • Lark_in_the_AM

    Oh goodie. Another way the Greed Over People party is trying to screw us over:
    http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/features/why-republicans-want-the-2020-census-to-fail-w492666

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Another way to gerrymander.

  • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

    But wait, there’s happy nice time news about this!

    Kris Kobach under investigation by Kansas Supreme Court disciplinary office

    http://cjonline.com/news/state-government/local/2017-07-17/kris-kobach-under-investigation-kansas-supreme-court

    • Shanzgood

      Another Swamp Thing.

      • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

        I am not!

        • Shanzgood

          Not YOU!

          • Me not sure

            I live in a subdivision built on fill dirt used to fill in a large bog. Does that count?

          • Shanzgood

            Maybe after it rains a lot?

    • FlownΩver

      A Happy Nice Time history lesson in Kansas legal ethics:

      Some years back Kansas had a self-serving ChristoWinger Attorney General named Phill Kline. After he pulled some unethical shit to try to prosecute abortion he was subjected to the same disciplinary investigation process now being visited upon KKKris KKKobach. Kline’s law license eventually was suspended indefinitely. Since then he’s been burning wingnut supporters’ money fighting his suspension in every court he can find, all while he teaches as a visiting professor at (wait for it…) Liberty “University”.

      So KKKobach is now running for governor while he’s under investigation for failing to be candid to a federal judge. Who’s got popcorn?

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    None of this garbage would work if it weren’t for the kind of people who eat it with a spoon and then sprint to the polls to vote for Republicans. Right wing voters are the real villains here. Absent them, and Kris Kobach is just one more subway screamer barfing on about The Conspiracy.

    • Zyxomma

      I would add to that people who throw their votes away on third party candidates and non-voters. Younger Sister (she’s 58, not exactly a baby) did not vote in 2016, and she lives in fucking Pennsylvania. Since finding out she stayed home (she bought be lunch in December; that’s when she told me), it’s really hard for me to speak to her civilly.

  • Teto85

    This shit that Kobach is trying to force upon us is nothing different from what the nazis were doing in Germany in the 1930s. Resist.

  • Me not sure

    Do these people not see the comic irony in calling this thing a fraud commission?

    • javadavis

      What irony? Commission of fraud, er, fraud commission is a perfectly straightforward description.

  • Bill Diaz

    Kris Kobach of Kansas (also known as ‘KKK’) has clearly demonstrated his leadership and even-handedness. Democrats want all citizens to be able to exercise their right to franchise, KKK wants to restrict it to white males, but as a sign of good faith is willing to meet Democrats half way, in that he will permit everyone to vote (as long as they are Republicans).

    That is a fair split, right?

    Have a great day!

  • rick

    Isn’t Kris with a K the way girls spell Kris? Asking for a friend.

  • guppy06

    Um…

    Silly question no doubt, but where in the federal constitution does it say that non-citizens can’t vote? Next to the part that says 16 year-olds can’t?

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      It doesn’t… and non-citizens used to be able to vote, well into the 20th century.

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