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Hello, and welcome to your weekly roundup of terrible dudes. Are you not entertained?

First up, we have this biology genius who is pretty sure that sperms are MAGIC and can travel through the bloodstream to screw with our ladybrains! Woah! What swimmers!

This is actually a very popular idea with these dudes lately. Perhaps unsurprisingly, it is not actually a thing. Basically what happened is that some incredibly stupid website incorrectly interpreted a scientific study on male microchimerism to mean that women have male cells in their brain due to magnificently enterprising sperms. They very much like this incredibly stupid theory, because it confirms their belief that having sex taints women in some way. OY.

Next up — from the Incel subreddit, we have this absurd video encouraging men who can’t get laid to catfish women on dating sites by pretending to be attractive men and then not showing up for dates, in hopes that women will stop using dating sites to meet men.

This is a thing they have been into for a while, with several of them posting videos of women showing up for dates and being stood up.

Moving on! Over at Return of Kings, we’ve got a charming article titled “5 Reasons Why Women Deserve To Be Paid Less Than Men,” written by one Donovan Sharpe.

Now, naturally, he first denies that the wage gap exists. Men’s Rights Activists — and most conservatives in general — very much believe this. Why? Because they think that these statistics are reached by averaging the wages made by every woman in America versus average wages made by every man in America and then going “Well obviously we get paid more! We have better jobs!” In reality, these statistics are compiled by comparing people in the same fields.

BUT ANYWAY, even though women and statisticians are lying about the existence of the wage gap to make men feel bad and ruin their days, Mr. Sharpe believes that women should be getting paid less than men. For many reasons, one of which is their PERIODS.

The irritability and emotional swings caused by their periods affects their work performance—badly. Women simply should not be paid the same as men who’s work performance is consistent while there’s a solid 10, maybe 11 days out of the month when they go completely sideways because of their menstrual cycle.

Menstruating, actually, does not affect our brain functioning. Here is a study which proves that! Whoops!

Sharpe also claims that women should be paid less because they are a “distraction.”

Any time a woman invades a male space, chaos ensues. The American workplace is no different. By the time a female gets her workstation set up, she’s already decided who’s she’s going to fuck, who she’s going to get fired, and whose coat tails she’s going to ride up the ladder to success.

How do they accomplish these things? Drama. And lots of it.

If they’re not flirting with the VP hawtee, they’re either starting rumors about other women or they’re at HR for the third time this week filing, yet, another sexual harassment claim because some beta “attempted to sexually assault her” by telling her hello.

All of these shenanigans reduce everyone’s productivity, including hers. So take it out of her pay.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh god. I am like, 99% sure now that not only has this fella never actually worked with a woman, he has never met one in real life.

Also on Return of Kings, there is a charming article titled “How Abortion Creates A Society Of Entitled Women And Desperate Men” — in which an idiot named Rob Reed pines for the “Good Old Days” of shotgun weddings.

Back when abortion was a crime, you could be a decent guy with a middle-class or even lower-middle class job and you would probably be able to find a reasonably virtuous woman to marry and start a family with. You didn’t even have to have game — just be a decent person. There was a reason. Although the Pill had been approved by the FDA in 1960, an “accident” with the wrong guy could ruin a woman’s life.

He is not necessarily opposed to abortion because it’s “wrong” — but because it allows women to have sex with whomever they want without fear of having to be stuck with that person for life should something go wrong. This, according to professional racist Charles Murray, is what did “nice guys” like him in.

“Getting pregnant without being married was wrong, and if a girl did get pregnant then she and the boyfriend who had gotten her in that fix were supposed to get married,” writes Charles Murray on 1963 America in Coming Apart. “These were conventional views shared across the political spectrum.” In that sexual marketplace, nice guys weren’t invisible: they were the only sensible option.

Reed then proclaims that Roe v. Wade must be overturned in order to give men like him a leg up in the sexual marketplace — AND SAVE WESTERN CIVILIZATION.

Unlike so many other institutions set up to dis-empower men, the abortion status quo is actively opposed in the United States. 70 percent of the public believes abortion should be illegal under some circumstances, and 20 percent believes it should be outlawed under every circumstance.

If Roe v. Wade can be overturned, it won’t just end a morally questionable, and probably murderous industry — it may save the American sexual marketplace, and Western Civilization with it.

If Reed were right — which he is not — this would actually be a fantastic argument for abortion. Because really, dudes like that ought not be inflicted upon anyone. Thanks, abortion!

Now that I have depressed the hell out of you… THIS IS NOW YOUR OPEN THREAD! Enjoy, and if you can, please leave some money in our tip jar! Click below to donate!

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  • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

    I guess they could ask my Dear Old Dad if Virginity is important, because he took mine.

    To the Abyss with these worthless MRA losers. My every damned one of them be involuntarily celibate until the end of our benighted species.

  • memzilla Ω

    These idiots couldn’t even get a piece of hand.

    • ManchuCandidate

      Even their own.

      • The Green Bastard

        “I think I can do better”

        -Rosie, while her 5 sisters nodded in agreement.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    i am so happy these guys are celibate,

  • ManchuCandidate

    And yet they’re stumped why they can’t get laid?

  • SayItWithWookies

    Dude can’t even negotiate the who’s/whose distinction and he’s claiming women cause havoc in the workplace? Must be his time of the month — anywhere between days 1 and 31, inclusive.

  • Doug Langley

    Fighting City Hall, Chapter 2:

    Went back to the Verizon store, back home to chat with an agent. Just as we were about to clear things up, got replace with another rep who had to start all over. Bottom line: the godawful amount they charged at the store was just for the phone cover and wasn’t supposed to show up on the account. So, the cover was about $40, the clear laminate was over $30, and the tax on everything was $58. We went round and round trying to see how this added up and couldn’t. Math iz hahd. So plan: return phone to store, go online to get replacement phone with huge discounts, pick up new phone at store. They promise whole thing will take no more than 2 hours.

    To be continued . . .

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      yikes!

    • I will stop complaining about my 2 and a half hours on hold. I could at least stay home and do other things whilst i waited

  • ken_kukec

    The obtuse Mr. Sharpe should be made to bleed from his wherever (with votes).

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    You mean that’s not actually trolling?

    SMH

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Cripes these guys are pathetic. I’d recommend they join the Marines, but the Marines wouldn’t take them.

    • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

      I was going to say, What do you have against the Marines? :)

      • redarmyzombie

        And furthermore, why does he hate America?

    • girlscientist

      Guys like that should NOT join any kind of armed forces. Do we really need to educate potential serial killers in the best ways to commit violence?

      • Lori

        Well, most of them would probably get themselves killed in training accidents so the actual number of fully trained serial killers would be small,

        Still not a good idea though.

  • Having an oldes…
    I remember when catfishing included a deep fryer, corn-meal and drinkin plenty of Hurricanes

    • lowenufc

      Beer, but yes. Oh the days…

  • lowenufc

    Couldn’t all articles and columns on Return of kings be summarized as “Argle bargle duh grunt snort scratch men are better than women I wet myself”?

    • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

      Yes.

  • Suttree

    Lizzie was a champion. She wouldn’t take a razor to my foot but she took a pin. A NYC piece of glass stuck in my foot for a week. I need to purchase her an exacto knife.

    • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

      Ow. I had to use a scalpel to get a shard of glass out of my foot once, but the shard was only in for a few moments.

  • The Green Bastard

    My brain has conflated ‘Roosh V’ w ‘Rafi’. So every time we get an article abt this douche, my brain produces this picture & quote: https://i.imgur.com/f1NlLDm_d.jpg?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=high

    Thanks, brain.

  • kirby7771

    I just can’t get past the sperm/brain thingy. Laughed so hard at that. Oh, my goodness, all the sperm I’ve swallowed over the years. I wonder what my brain looks like now! Not really, I’m sure my brain looks just the same dirty dirty filthy deranged….you get the picture.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Yes, it’s much better that two young people with their whole lives ahead of them who happen to screw up and she ends up pregnant should be shotgun married to each other and shackled together for life, even if they don’t know each other that well or go on to hate each other’s guts- rather than practice safe sex and be allowed to live their lives as they intended without an unplanned pregnancy hanging over their heads (because we know how mature, financially responsible, etc youngsters in this situation are)

    All so Chad the MGTOW can get laid someday…

    • Msgr_MΩment

      But but but Iron Age deity says woman should not have any idea what other dudes are like, or else she’ll always be disappoint with current hubby.

      • As if you need a basis of comparison to be disappointed.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “So I’m praying for the end of time so I can end my time with you!”

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        they should have that on endless loop for these forced birth dweebs

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      And the MGTOW can see how that good old fashioned shotgun wedding suits him in a few years, with an exhausted resentful wife, a couple of screaming toddlers, and the financial wellbeing of the entire family hanging around his neck.

    • JMP

      No no, “Chad” is the name that the MGTOW idiots have decided to give all those imaginary men who are getting all the sex with all those slutty women (who apparently a all named “Stacey” for some reason) they and the other “betas” are not getting because those “Chads” are all “alpha” and have magical lady-attracting superpowers.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Well, “Chads” can find a clitoris, for one thing.

      • LucindathePook

        Hanging Chads?

        • puredog

          The well-hung Chads, at any rate.

  • Vecchioivan

    These civilians know nothing about sperm.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SV4Y_ensniY

  • Canis Greyhame

    So these catfish douches, isn’t it going to be awkward for them if their friends notice just how many pictures of hunky, half-naked dudes they’ve got collected on their phones & whatnot for the purposes of cat fishing?

    Hah ha! I kid! These guys don’t have any friends!

  • lowenufc

    MRAs- Phyllis Schlafly wannabes in drag.
    Nope, that denigrates drag queens and I will not do that.

  • nightmoth

    Sperm in the brain?! Holy catfish! Is this just a way to call a woman a dickhead?

  • “You didn’t even have to have game — just be a decent person.”

    Unfortunately, you fuckers would still be at a disadvantage because none of you is a decent person.

    • The Green Bastard

      BOOM.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      that’s the funniest part, these mentally deficient loons actually believe they are decent

      • The Green Bastard

        Hey, they’re brimming w explosive hatred & backed-up sperm that they desperately want to unleash upon the world but they DON’T. See? Nice!

        • Villago Delenda Est

          The backed up sperm? I knew a medic who called this “white eye” and said it caused traffic accidents toward the end of field training exercises.

        • boredcatlady

          Do chronic masturbators get their sperm backed up? I would assume the opposite

      • JMP

        And they believe that all the world’s women will be sorry for their refusal to date, rather than relieved.

        • boredcatlady

          Yeah, you trying to Lysistrata us, bro? Snort, okay.

      • boredcatlady

        They’ve been convinced that modern American women have turned on them, that the rest of the world has respectful and beautiful women who cook and also clean and are dtf all the time. But something happened to American women, who are wrong and killing themselves with their barren unhappiness. “Biology” says animals must mate, but American women blah blah blah vomit angry face wandering away….

        • “M”

          Didja ever notice – these Men (Allegedly) Going Their Own Way just never go ahead and GO already …?

    • Yeah, “nice guy” has become a euphemism for self-entitled hatesacks in the same way “passing on” is a euphemism for lack of bowel control brought on by death.

  • Grizzly

    It’s stories like these that make me long for a little time-machine? Why you ask hypothetical reader of the non-existent comments?

    Because I figure the jerk-apple probably didn’t fall far from the tree and if the mothers of these oxygen thieves were to wake up from their roofie/qualude/other date rape drug slipped to them by “nice guys” and find a little box of Ru-486 with instructions then we wouldn’t have to read garbage skimmed from Return of Kings, because it most likely wouldn’t exist.

  • Tiny kaiju

    I think we should send a care package to Robyn every week. It will contain a fresh pair of protective gloves (approved for handling corrosive substances), safety googles and a well padded headband (to protect against TBI from repeated head to desk slamming.) We could also start a Go Fund Me to buy her a Biological Safety Cabinet for her computer while she researches these unfathomably stupid excuses for human beings.

  • TundraGrifter

    “Donovan Sharpe?” Is his middle name “Notso?”

  • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

    I just made my plans to go to Glendo, WY to watch the Eclipse, hopefully at the airport which will be open to the public with guaranteed slow traffic and no guaranteed parking. Guess it’s time to order my Hell No cap in case any fellow Wonkers pass by!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The State of Oregon is estimating that there will be 1 million people in the path of totality in the Willamette Valley.

      • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

        Glendo is estimating 10,000–and they are a tiny little town of about 200.

        • WY_cryptid

          Watching from my front porch 70 miles away from Glendo.No crowd- all the beer I stock up on before the rush- and limited redneckery.

        • Lori

          OMG, I feel their pain. The area where I live has twice the population in summer that it has in winter* and the wrecks more than enough havoc. Thank goodness it’s a one time, one day event. If Glendo can just hold on for a couple of days before and after the whole thing will blow over.

          Our summer only folks (snow birds + lake people) are roughly equal to our year round population. During busy summers like this year it honestly feels like there aren’t enough permanent residents to provide all the services the summer people want.

        • OutOfOrbit

          Sturgis “suffers” it every year.

          • Lori

            My family & I drove through Sturgis during the rally one year (it wasn’t as well publicized in the non-biker community back in the day and my family would have had no clue in any case). It was NUTS. Years later I read that many locals just rent out their place and leave town for the entire thing and I totally understood why. Pay up the insurance and run would be my motto too.

      • The Green Bastard

        The thought of the crowds makes my jaw clench.

      • TJ Barke

        Apparently things are going bananas around Bend and eastern Oregon over this shit.

      • Yr. Gma

        Sublimity. That’s the place.

  • JMP

    “Any time a woman invades a male space, chaos ensues.”

    Well you know how to deal with this? Get rid of all-male spaces; the idea of having spaces only for men is extrememly stupid, as someone who had the misfortune of going to an all-male high school which created an environment absolutely dripping in toxic masculinity I can tell you that first hand. And if a workplace is a “male space”, then that means the employer is discriminating and should have their asses sued for everything they’re worth.

    • Finnibar87

      Men can be whiny little drama queen bitches all on their own.

      It figures some guy wants to make women carry that burden, as well.

  • Painter of Goats

    Well, having sperm certainly taints some men’s brains, so it wouldn’t be a stretch for sperm-brained men to imagine this happening to women, as well.

  • JMP

    It takes a special kind of sickness to want to force women to give birth against there will in order to increase the rate of unwanted marriages. And those couples I’m sure will all be extremely happy and provide a great environment for raising children!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      That special kind of sickness is endemic in the forced birth movement.

      • OutOfOrbit

        At bottom: with conservatives.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    https://twitter.com/Variety/status/886310777967190017

    I have to say… I find him awfully cute.

  • tehbaddr

    What a bunch of beta Cucks!

  • kindness

    I’m so glad you are willing to do this dirty work for us. I would have a really hard time reading that tripe.

  • Finnibar87

    Controlling women is always the prevailing theme.

    Huh.

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    Okay let’s do the conservative commenter thing- maybe if you spent more time sharpening your skills and doing actual work, instead of pissing and moaning, you’d have a job like that gal in the corner office. Take some personal responsibility instead of playing the victim, snowflake.

  • ariel_gee_398

    Sperm in the brain? What if you use condoms? Does that mean your brain chemistry doesn’t get altered until the first time you have unprotected sex? And if so, then it’s not really losing your virginity until you don’t use a condom?

    Also, maybe ladies don’t want to have sex with them because they’ve been convinced that sperm worm their way into your brain like a parasite. Certainly doesn’t make an inviting offer, does it?

    • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

      SRSLY, they think we get addicted to the brain chemical from their cum, and are in better moods with Bareback sex on the reg.

      *spits* A few minutes reading MRA Bullshit, and I’m ready to never have sex with a male again.

      • george lastrapes

        Magic sperm dude is a tragic example of what can go wrong when testosterone falls into the wrong hands.

      • OutOfOrbit

        Now now, you know we’re not all like that.

        • puredog

          Not all magic sperm dudes. . .

      • redarmyzombie
        • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

          xD

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I guess that settles the ‘spit or swallow’ debate…

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      And how long does that sperm stay around? Asking for a friend. The 70’s were wild. Wheeeeee……

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        I’m sure they’re gone by now…

    • If sperm can enter the bloodstream then pass the blood brain barrier then alter brain chemistry then they are ninja sperm, I doubt a condom is going to stop em.

      Ninjas.

    • mailman27

      Hey, so if you wear a condom, the sperm reverses course through the weiner, goes straight to your brain and makes you that much SMRTR!! Unfortunately, none of this massive intelligence gets passed along to any putative offspring. But think about how smart you get!! Keep those condoms on Mr MRA. Don’t waste a drop.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    These self loathing little virginal dweebs are absolutely terrified of women- it just amazes me how dysfunctional they are. I get being shy, but at some point you have to recognize that that is on you and deal with it/learn to live with it, rather than blame the entire female half of humanity for your problems.

    I’m betting these goofs are the type that lose their minds and shoot their wad the moment that friendly waitress smiles at them. They freeze up and stammer and turn bright red from blushing while making complete fools of themselves. Then they blame all women when the waitress gets squicked out and tosses their check receipt in the trash because they left some creepy note on it in lieu of a tip.

    “That bitch led me on! She was playing with my feelings by smiling, she just wanted my money!”

    Yes Sport, she gets paid to be nice to the customers, drawing that little heart around her name on the check is company policy, not some secret come on. She’s there to serve you food- she’s not looking for a date. After work she’ll go home to her boyfriend- you know, the guy that wasn’t touching himself inappropriately under his napkin while she was trying to take their order or trying to sneak an upskirt photo with his camera phone when she’s not looking…

    • ariel_gee_398

      Honestly, if they devoted a third of the time they spend railing about feminazi harpies and sluts making false rape accusations to learning how to converse with women like they are actually people, they would get laid plenty.

      • Serai 1

        But learning how to talk to us as if we were real people? That’s the problem right there. We ARE real people, but the farthest these idiots will go is to pretend we are. And that is why they will never get laid, no matter how hard they try.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          The shyness or insecurity is probably at the root of it, but it’s their reaction that separates these losers from the rest of us dealing with being imperfect human beings. They are so full of unearned entitlement that they get angry and blame women for their problems instead of accepting any responsibility for their situation. Then they learn to hate women, because it’s easier than dealing with your own shit.

          I’m far too old, short and slow to play in the NBA, I get that. But I don’t blame LeBron for my situation…

          • “M”

            “Then they learn to hate women, because it’s easier than dealing with your own sh*t.”

            And there it is. The LACK OF EFFORT AND DON’T WANT TO TRY is at the center of this whole thing.

            The rest of us – including us laydeez! – had to *learn* to interact with the opposite gender … but these clowns want the payoff without the effort.

        • puredog

          I’m pretty sure ariel_gee was being facetious with that phrasing.

          • Serai 1

            Yeah, I know that. I’m not stupid, thank you.

        • Dudleydidwrong

          These guys don’t want to see women as “real people.” They learned their sex from porn sites and learned about women who weren’t lusting after their bodies from their mothers’ letting them live in their basements until age 35, washing their dirty clothes, making their beds and allowing them to use the TV remote 110% of the time.

          Somebody needs to sell them a washing machine that looks like a sex doll.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            or at least buy them an oculus rift and a lifetime subscription to pornhub

      • Bill Diaz

        That isnt true by a long shot, lol, but it is a nice thought.

        Have a great day!

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I keep thinking of something my Grandma told me – “Worry is interest paid on a debt that never comes due.” These dweebs are making up imaginary “debts”, and spending their lives worrying about them. There are enough REAL problems out there, Dweebs, go find some. But hey, that’s the point, they can’t be bothered to do that.

      • Yr. Gma

        Your Grandma was a smart woman.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          no third person humble brags!

    • mailman27

      How dare you?! You don’t know me. The scenario you describe is preposterous, divorced from reality!! The closer i examine it, it gets more and more… hmmph…that little heart, and the way she smiled…she was looking right at me…*adjusts trousers*

  • Serai 1

    Um, how exactly will getting women off dating sites get THESE assholes a date?

    • OutOfOrbit

      “They GOTTA get it somewhere!”

      • Lori

        That seems to be the idea. Once again, the fundamental flaw in their thinking is revealed. They consistently fail to understand that if the choice is between them and BOB, any woman with any sense or self-respect at all is going to get herself a CostCo-sized box of batteries and retire from dating.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        No, no they don’t.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        I think it was H W Longfellow who described Paul Revere’s sex life thusly:
        “One if by hand,
        Two if by she.”

        These guys will have to stick with Option # 1.

    • Jamoche

      Condition them to think men with hot dating site profiles will be jerks, so they’ll go running to their Nice Guy(TM) friends for consolation?

      • Royal Ugly Dude

        It’s step three of the D.E.N.N.I.S. system: Nurture dependence.

      • David Chaillou

        For this strategy to work they probably also need to eradicate cats and assorted pets.

  • unmasked mumbler

    These reactionary shitheads want sex slaves, and they want the government to socialize it! Absolutely disgusting.

  • BadKitty904
  • Bill Diaz

    Why would women (or men for that matter) use on line dating for anything? Ive never done it, but it seems like an incredibly stupid idea from top to bottom.

    In my ~40 years of knowing that boys and girls were different, the most important thing I learned is how unimportant looks are, or anything that can be shown in a flat 2D media. I have dated models, but married a PhD. It is intellect, curiosity, both shared and disparate interests, humor, wit and tenacity that make a woman beautiful to me. One of the things that bother me most about my own daughter is that she is pretty and knows it and rightfully believes it gives her an advantage.

    The funniest thing is, way back before high school, I was the chubby geek that got picked on and bullied. I carried a purse, wore an earring and was told by an ex-gf of mine from that time that everyone
    thought I was gay and talked about it behind my back (by that time I was a ~235 lb football player).

    The girls that were attracted to me then are the same ones that would
    be attracted to me now: funny, well read, active, caring and interesting, nothing that shows up in my picture.

    Why women would be receptive to on line blandishment is beyond me but if these MRA idiots think that they are going to somehow detour women from seeking their proper place in this world (which my daughter knows is any damn where she wants to be), they are bigger fools than their stupidity indicates.

    My daughter is lucky, her role models for ‘femininity’ are brilliant, bad assed scientists who didnt know how to take ‘No’ for an answer and flourished from there. But there are a million examples in the US, women should only settle for more.

    Have a great day!

    • puredog

      Well, I’m not sure what the current online marketplace is like, but in an in-depth online dating posting that includes prose styling, you can lften tell a lot about the person behind the words. Many of the qualities you seek may be inferred from how a person writes. Back in my most cat-about days, I used to use underground newspaper personals ads to find dates. You wrote letters. You snail-mailed back and forth a few times before — if it seemed mutually a good idea — you set up some sort of meat-time meet, usually without even having seen a photo of the other person. By then, you had some fair idea as to intellectual compatibility. If you met the person and s/he was a hottie and you had chemistry — it was all good! Even if the person was just not your cuppa physically, you could still enjoy a pleasant evening/dinner/cuppa, shake hands, not say “I’ll call you,” and go your separate ways. But, yeah, simply swiping right or swiping left seems like it could be a formula for a lot of trainwrecks.

      • Bill Diaz

        It has always existed and I have a funny story for you. I once had a roommate named Hope. She was a slender, athletic redhead with curly hair and played rugby. She was really cute and if I wasnt otherwise spoken for, I would have dated her in a heartbeat. She spoke German, had a wicked sense of humor and was great peeps.

        She had a personal ad running in the local rag the whole time we were friends. She was an editor for a local educational publisher, which made it more painful, lol. One day she asked me to help her go through her letters and boy, I have never seen a bigger bunch of idiots in my life.

        Most of them were nearly illiterate and had handwriting to match. Most of them were crude to say the least and reading that crap made me be ashamed to be a male sometimes. So we would help her pick her ‘Winner of the week’ and would sometimes go out to the same place she was going for her date so we could watch and eavesdrop, lol. It was painful and funny at the same time, we had worked out extraction plans in advance, but only had to use them once.

        In the ~6 months that we did this, I dont think any of her outings ended up in a second date, much less a relationship. It was heartbreaking to see an amazing women like Hope at the mercy of Maine doofuses, but back in the early 90’s, there wasnt much a college educated, professional woman could do about the dearth of counterpart males in the state.

        It makes even less sense to me now (and to the best of my knowledge my kids never dated that way either) and it doesnt seem like any better a deal for the women now than it was then. Most of the guys I have known that use on line dating are already dating someone else and are just being scumbags. Im not against casual sex or anything like that, but the whole thing just boggles me.

        Have a great day!

    • Shanzgood

      Your daughter is also lucky that she has an awesome dad! And presumably her mom is as well, considering her partner!

      • Bill Diaz

        I had nothing to do with my daughter’s growing up, other than to keep her from stealing my ‘Hello Kitty’ stuff. I put the credit entirely on her mother and grandmother, two amazing, accomplished women, who gave my daughter all the encouragement and example she needed to take the ball and run with it.

        The funny thing is, Maria is beautiful and looks just like Cameron Diaz, who we jokingly call my sister. Her baby pic look exactly like my wife’s and the only way I can tell them apart is the shitty Soviet photography, lol. Sometime around 14 or so, the latent unicorn genes in Olga activated and got a nose to match, lol.

        I told Olga that if she was beautiful with a perfect nose, she never would have found me, lol. My daughter is VERY sensitive to that, so her nickname in the family was ‘Nosik’ or ‘Little Nose’. I was a HORRIBLE father, now that I think of it, because any time she gave me shit about being bald (‘Lusiak’ in Russian), I would remind her what fate lay in store for her, lol.

        Her nose never grew though and she got a big kick out of ditching guys by telling them what a psycho ex-soldier I was lol. Her and her twin brother used to call me ‘Nazi Dad’ or ‘Starry Diadushka’ (Old Grandpa in Russian) because of either my dishwashing rules or the fact that I am a cripple and they make fun of me, lol.

        My son is all me though, including the stupid idea to join the Army (we both joined, but I did not suggest it). He will be an officer at least, lol.

        Thank you so much for your kind reply. It has been a wistful day for me today.

        Have a great day!

    • Marla

      “Why would women (or men for that matter) use on line dating for
      anything? Ive never done it, but it seems like an incredibly stupid
      idea from top to bottom.”

      I actually had this one guy who asked me for my number so he could text me into going out. He said this standing two feet away from me.

      • Bill Diaz

        I kinda did the same thing recently, so its sorta understandable.

        The girl in question isnt a romantic interest (she is really beautiful and much younger), but we have talked on several occasions and we are both insulin dependent diabetics and it is fun bitching about our idiot doctors with her.

        One of the places she works is at a local grocery, but my medical condition has worsened so I dont go there anymore. I was literally wondering how she was doing one day and ran into her in the ER waiting room of all places.

        I asked her to text me so I could keep in touch with her (if I ever get well, lol), but with no intent of having a ‘date’.

        Did he ask you out yet? And what happened, if he did? (sorry for being nosy!)

        Have a great day!

  • Jamoche

    The Star vs the Forces of Evil season premiere movie is not being enough of a distraction from politics: both of them have pathetic insecure clowns being used as puppets by powerful evil people to take over a country.

  • sweet freedom

    The reality that these MRA skidmarks just can’t get over, is that women own all of the vaginas and it makes them so very sad.

    • tehbaddr

      All the butt-hurt are belong to them!

      • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

        For great justice!

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        I have always wanted to commend you on your homage to Herbert West. Re-Animator is one of my many guilty pleasures.

        Apologize for the segue. Everyone can carry on now,

        • tehbaddr

          Well thanx. Re-animator is the best movie adaptation of a Lovecraft story, though From Beyond is a close second. They both have that Miskatonic thing without the elders, and much creepiness.

          BTW, my funding has been withdrawn, you wouldn’t happen to have say an underutilized basement or extra space in your house?

          • The Wanderer

            Humanoids from the Deep was an adaptation of Lovecraft, wasn’t it?

          • tehbaddr

            Wow! I haven’t thought about that movie in decades! I suppose it might be, but certainly not of the level of those I mentioned. I remember it mostly as horror sexploitation, a more raw modern take on Horror at Party Beach. I might just have to go back through the interwebs and review it.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Do I look like Daniel Cain?

            I have to agree with you about the adaptation. Brian Yuzna is a genius when it comes to Lovecraft movies. He really captured the satirical edge of the story while still maintaining the horror of it all. From Beyond was excellent as well. Jeffrey Combs is just stellar in everything he ever does. I will sit through a crappy movie if Combs is in it.

  • Bitter Scribe

    So much derp to untangle:

    1) That video had a clip from “Starship Troopers,” or maybe a knockoff of “Starship Troopers.” I’ve never managed to sit all the way through that ridiculous movie, so maybe someone who has can tell me: Is there a reason they had to go down to the evil planet and fight the giant monster bugs hand-to-hand? If Earth technology was so advanced that they could go there at all, why couldn’t they just nuke the place from orbit?

    2) “Women simply should not be paid the same as men who’s work performance is consistent…”

    Consistent enough to spell “whose” properly?

    3) “By the time a female gets her workstation set up, she’s already decided who’s she’s going to fuck…”

    And I’m guessing it’s not you.

    • TJ Barke

      Starship Troopers is satire.

      • TJ Barke

        The movie anyway.

        • tehbaddr

          The book is a poke as well!

          • Villago Delenda Est

            No one is really sure what Heinlein was getting at…there are indications it was meant seriously, and there are indications it was meant as satire. It’s pretty much agreed to be one of Heinlein’s most political works, though.

            The movie, however, was intended as satire…Verhoeven stated this flatly in the DvD commentary.

          • tehbaddr

            In a way it’s like “The Forever War”.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            “The Forever War” was written by ‘Nam vet Joe Haldeman, and he was pretty explicitly anti-war throughout.

          • tehbaddr

            The futility of the enterprise (war) is what I found similar.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

            Have you ever read “Armor” by John Steakley? It’s pretty much an anti-Starship Troopers, it’s an insanely intense account of a Bug War, I get the shakes reading it.

            “The Engine is not me. It will work when I cannot. It will examine and determine and choose and, at last, act. It will do all this while I cower inside”.”

          • foreign agitator Captain Kraut

            Just bought it, sounds like my cup of tea.
            Thanks for the recommendation, I need something new.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

            You’re welcome, I hope you like it. :) I need another copy, I think I lost my old one in the move.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            yup

    • Jamoche

      1) The director didn’t read the book. It had mecha.

    • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

      I love the “Starship Troopers” movie. The thing to remember is it’s a parody, a Fascist government gins up a war with a relatively inoffensive alien species, and sends young and ignorant soldiers in to die in order to achieve an endless conflict.

      • Bitter Scribe

        “Relatively inoffensive”? Didn’t they wipe out Buenos Aires with radio beams, or something?

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Meteor. They sent a meteor.

        • TJ Barke

          Asteroid. Which was retaliatory.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

            After Mormon “separatists” violated the Arachnid Quarantine Zone and set up an illegal colony.

            The movie feels like Dick Cheney is their Dictator, actually.

        • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

          No, an asteroid collision. But notice: the Bugs seem to only have Bio-tech. How did they guide an asteroid across a quarter of the Galaxy and hit a city on earth? Could it be that the Federal Government allowed a natural disaster in order to create the conditions to invade the Arachnid Quarantine Zone?

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Indeed, they showed a later bug meteor being blown to bits by planetary defenses…one that was aimed at Southern California.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

            Yes. The movie says they launched the meteor with “Bug Plasma”, and we see Bug Plasma destroy starships in orbit, but hat was with Flak-style heavy saturation fire. I doubt the Bug Plasma could knock an asteroid into Hyperspace with just enough momentum to hit a city on Earth.

    • JMP

      They had to fight the giant bug monsters to keep the war going, so that the repressed population of Earth would remain compliant in the face of an apparent external threat. Starship Troopers is a great movie about a fascist world whioch ripped apart the ridiculous book it was based on that actually celebrated that fascism.

      • David Chaillou

        Tbh I like both the movie and the book. I had a crush on Heinlein when I was a teen, never managed to grow out of it.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They were on a mission to confirm the existence of a “brain bug” on Planet P. Required them to do this on the ground, with a low probability of survival.

      • BloviateMe

        Frankly, I find the idea of a bug that thinks OH-FENSIVE!

        • Villago Delenda Est

          That guy was the Hannity of the movie.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Women simply should not be paid the same as men who’s work performance is consistent…”

      I suppose fuckstick here has never served in the military, because if he did, he know that people of the same pay grade with the same time in service are paid exactly the same, without regard to gender.

    • TJ Barke

      “By the time a female gets her workstation set up, she’s already decided who’s she’s going to fuck…”
      And you can bet that a male has already decided who he’d like to fuck also.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        This guy assumes that the woman has decided that the fucking WILL happen once the woman makes that decision. Of course, a more accurate rending would be that she’s decided she’ll never fuck the MRA asshole.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          That’s the crux of what pisses these dweebs off- she’s already decided who she will never fuck- namely the creeper who hasn’t stopped leering at her from the moment she walked into the room

        • JMP

          It’s a common belief among the MRAs, that shows that they have a very low opinion of men, that any woman can have sex with any man whenever they want to, because apparently no man will ever say “no” to any woman who wants to have sex with them.

  • Shanzgood

    No wonder they can’t find the clit. They can’t even find a biology textbook.

    • sweet freedom

      LOL..

    • tehbaddr

      Little man in the boat is always in the bow.

    • Marla

      That’s because they keep on burning them.

      • Shanzgood

        The books, presumably.

        • Marla

          Yes, the books

          • Shanzgood

            Heh!

    • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

      They have to be looking for it, also too.

    • Me not sure

      “What is this thing of which you speak?… This mythical body part?”

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        It’s not mythical, it can be found in Mountain Time.

      • The Committee for the Liberation and Integration of Terrifying Organisms and their Rehabilitation Into Society
        Red Dwarf – Polymorph. “I think we’re all beginning to lose sight of the real issue here, which is: what are we going to call ourselves? I think it comes down to a choice between “The League Against Salivating Monsters” or, my own personal preference, which is “The Committee for the Liberation and Integration of Terrifying Organisms and their Rehabilitation Into Society.” One drawback with that–the abbreviation is C.L.I.T.O.R.I.S.”, Rimmer.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    That Sharpe fellow certainly isn’t.

    I have more mood swings than any woman I have ever met, so that shoots the other argument to shit.

    Finally, what all these loser children forget about the good ole days of shotgun weddings were that it really didn’t benefit so-called nice guys at all. A woman would get knocked up right away and have to marry they guy what done the deed, leaving losers like them without anyone at all. There’s also the problem of having to marry the first womanyou boned, which nobody ever wants to do.

    What a collection of complete chuckleheads. Sheesh!

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    I suggest these boys take up masturbation. Saved my life when I had a dry spell.

  • TJ Barke
    • Shanzgood

      Perfect!

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Idiots. There’s quite a long path from the uterus to the brain, and all the blood circulating through the uterus goes first to the liver and then to the heart, where it is oxygenated and sent on its merry way. Also, there’s this semi-permeable Blood-Brain Barrier thing in the way. Sperm are way too big to get through the barrier. “The upper limit of pore size in the BBB that enables passive flow of molecules across it is usually <1 nm; however, particles that have a diameter of several nanometers can also cross the BBB by carrier-mediated transport." A sperm is 60 Microns = 60,000 nanometers.
    http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/770396
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2c9b86fbda2a65752e517b0953545890c58061da8e636f114e70ac8db45af24f.jpg

    • ariel_gee_398

      With the aversion these dudes have to science and math, you’d think they were ladies.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I think they have an aversion to pretty much everything that involves the real world. And don’t joke about women having an aversion to math – when I was in school 50 years ago they actively discouraged us from taking advanced math and science classes. Did I ever write on Wonkette about the ASVAB test we all had to take in 11th grade (Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery)?? This test is supposed to tell you what careers you would be good at it. So I had a 4.0 GPA and was pretty smart and I Aced that test, but my results told me to be a “Secretary or Teacher.” I was so furious I asked about 30 other smart girls what they were told, and they were told the same thing. I asked about 30 smart guys what they were told, and they were told to be “Engineers, Architects, Lawyers.” See, you had to tell them your gender when you took the test. Well fuck that shit. But some girls believed it because they’d been told they weren’t good enough for science and math all their lives.

        • James

          I think you might be mixing up your tests. The ASVAB tells you what military careers you might be good at (which do not include things like architects or teachers).

          When I was a Navy recruiter, the Navy at the time had a point system it assigned to each person who entered the Navy for the purposes of scoring the effectiveness of recruiters at their job. Folk who went into advanced electronics or nuclear power were worth more points, as were minorities and such.

          Women’s contracts were always worth one point, regardless of the job they enlisted for. (That point system, which was wildly discriminatory, was scrapped after the Navy fully integrated its combat positions.) As women only scored one point if they enlisted (but took just as much time to sign up as men), plus a prohibition on initiating contact with women, recruiters spent about zero time trying to find women to enlist.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            The version of the test they give to high school students is specifically designed to tell them what careers they would be good at after they leave school, and does not direct them specifically to military careers. I kept my results in a binder for almost 40 years, I would post them here if I could, but all my records were destroyed in a hurricane, so I can’t. It was a voluntary test, not everyone took it.

            What you say about tests in the Navy is very interesting. My older brother did very poorly in school because he had a mild learning disability – he read very slowly, and so did not do well on timed tests. He barely managed to graduate and his grades would not get him into college, but it was 1968 and the height of the Viet Nam War, so he needed to do something to avoid being drafted and sent to die in a jungle. He enlisted in the Navy, they gave him a lot of tests, and apparently discovered he was quite intelligent because they made him a computer specialist on nuclear submarines. After he left the Navy he had a lucrative career as a Unix Systems Admin. His teachers in high school thought he was stupid and lazy, but he wasn’t.

        • suziq

          When I was in school and took whatever test that was all the girls were told they should be nurses. We were all WTF? but someone said they were predicting a shortage of nurses.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Wow, I bet that’s true…I never thought of that.

        • I took the ASVAB in high school and never got my results. It’s always kind of bugged me — we weren’t required to take it, and I only did because I wanted to see what I’d get, not because I had any interest in a military career. What I got was some really aggressive recruiting from the Navy. It got to the point where my mom started treating them like telemarketers when they called (she’s not nice to telemarketers. At all.) It was weird.

          • James

            People may opt out of the ASVAB if they wish. The point of administering it in schools is to collect a pool of “prospects” and weed out those who are unsuited for military service.

            Schools are the ones who decide whether information is released to students, not the military.

            In a sense, it is telemarketing (in that a recruiter will call said prospects with cold calls). And trust me, a lot of people weren’t nice to me.

            The worst call I got blasted for was from a VA nurse. I called and she came up with “you wouldn’t know anything about what warfare does to people” (this to a person who lost his father in the Vietnam War as a child). She was the only person I was ever unkind to back on the telephone, because her self-serving superiority was a direct attack. (I wound up getting a dressing down over blasting her on the phone.)

            The way to treat a recruiter if you do not want them calling is to specifically tell them they have no permission to call your house (don’t tell them they can’t call your child, because that is untrue). On the other hand, cold calls are not the way recruiters get most of their contacts; personal contact is.

            Schools may not keep recruiters out, and recruiters can go anywhere another person can. (Aside from the issue of opposing the Federal government, it would also be a legitimate case of discrimination the Feds could bring against a school: You allow police or college recruiters into your school, you are discriminating against a particular job field some of your students want).

            You want an all-volunteer force, you get everything that goes with that (including recruiters).

            School counsellors are also notorious for opposing the military as a job choice for students (partially because they are rated on how many students go to college or tech schools). When I was nearing graduation, I put up with endless sessions from the counsellor “You don’t want to do that, your the class salutatorian” nearly every day.

          • It was a long time ago so I could be misremembering, but I swear one of the selling points that the school made for us taking the test that even if we weren’t interested in the military, the results would be useful if we were trying to figure out what we would be good at doing for a career, so I still think it’s weird that I never got them. I was headed for community college anyway, both for financial reasons and because I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to do with myself (still not sure, actually, but I know it wasn’t the military. I can’t imagine being good at a military job.) I took the ASVAB for the same reason I took the SAT… just to see what I could do. It just irritated me that I never found out. Enough that I still remember it – if I’d actually gotten the scores, I probably wouldn’t even remember it now. I couldn’t tell you what my SAT scores were exactly (and they would be meaningless now to anyone who’s more familiar with the new scoring). Plus I think it stuck out that it was the Navy specifically that I heard from. Everyone who I know of in my family who’s served, served in the Navy, so it was interesting.

            I’m not normally a fan of the way my mom deals with telemarketers (in my experience, they don’t control who they call next anyway) and I would normally extend that to recruiters. But by the time she started giving them shit, I’d already said I wasn’t interested a bunch of times, and they kept calling and sending stuff in the mail anyway. I remember it being pretty irritating at the time.

        • Shanzgood

          I don’t remember what all I got except Concert Pianist and Park Ranger.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I think that test is somewhat better now. But in 1972 all the girls got were Secretary, Teacher, Nurse or Librarian. You will notice those are not high-paying jobs.

          • Shanzgood

            Yes, well, it was just “pin” money after all.

          • JMP

            And teachers, nurses and librarians are all high-skilled professional jobs that require a lot of education – yet they get paid a hell of a lot less than professions like doctors or engineers. Hmm, I wonder why that is….

          • James

            Well, my wife the librarian has a computer science and a business administration degree. Our public library doesn’t pay much because town of a hundred people. That said, she is the second-highest paid person in the town government (after the village clerk).

            Elected officials? Piffle, we don’t get jack.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            It’s all so silly. Why do football players get paid a million dollars or more? It’s not as if they are developing a cure for cancer, they’re just kicking/throwing a leather ball around a grassy field. If you ask football lovers, they say “It’s because their careers can be very short, and they might get badly injured and have to quit.” But nobody says that about ballet dancers, who have exactly the same problem.

          • The Librarian

            Ah, I do not resemble that remark. I get paid very well! It really depends what kind of library you are working for.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I’m glad to hear it, but librarians were not well paid back in the 1970’s, which is the era I am talking about. Neither were nurses. Both fields are doing much better these days.

          • The Librarian

            That’s true, the value placed comes in cycles.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            It helps that they both got unions, maybe?

          • The Librarian

            Those librarians in the public sector, yes. I worked for a public library when I first started and it paid well, but we weren’t unionized. The pay scale flipped over the years and it became ridiculous. Once the staff was able to unionize, things got better.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I ran the computer network at a large public library system in Louisiana for 4 years, and I was paid quite well – I earned as much as the Director. But that is normal for I.T. – it always pays well. Some of the staff were paid very poorly. However, if they worked there until they retired they got a very generous pension, because they were part of the local Parish Employees Union.

          • The Librarian

            Our IT people do, too and they’re worth every cent.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I enjoyed that job. I love books, and I spent 4 years working with 100 people who loved books, and thousands of customers who loved books, and how can you ask for more out of life?

          • The Librarian

            You can’t, in my eyes. :)

          • Angela Ruzzo

            The perks are good too. People donate books, and the staff got to look through them and have first choice. I picked up some great books that way.

          • The Librarian

            We have a staff “library” where people can donate books, audio, magazines. We obviously have a lot of mystery readers!

          • Angela Ruzzo

            People were constantly donating old sets of encyclopedias, but there is no use for these any longer and nobody buys them at book sales, so we had to throw them away, which was rather sad.

          • The Librarian

            It is, but if those encyclopedias still have “someday man will walk on the moon” it’s time.*

            *I hated tossing the old family ones when my mom moved, but they really were this old.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Sometimes it can be charming or illuminating to read those old encyclopedias. I have an enormous 1-volume encyclopedia (about 5″ thick) dating to 1949, and it is fun to read and compare what was known and important then to the same today. It says tectonic plate movement is an “intriguing hypothesis that deserves further study” and that the best available treatment for breast cancer is a full double mastectomy. On the other hand, it has a lengthy section on the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, with very precise figures for the casualties and arguments for-and-against. This particular encyclopedia also makes an excellent door stop, and is useful for pressing flowers.

          • The Librarian

            Indeed! Incidents that predate when those tomes were published still have some useful info. One public library I worked at kept old volumes just for the purpose of compare/contrast.

            I use my old giant complete works of Shakespeare book for pressing flowers. Always use wax paper so not to ruin the pages.

          • James

            LOL. How bout both at the same time? Play concert piano at Old Faithful to warm up the crowd?

          • Shanzgood

            I have terrible stage fright so I’ll just stick to yelling at people to stop feeding the bears.

      • BJW

        LOL! I’m a girl (well, old lady) who always did well in math and science. It was in the dim past but still. ;)

    • VirginiaWackelpudding

      Did you know these size stats or did you have to look ’em up? My brain is filled with useless facts like the name of the dog on the Brady Bunch and I’m impressed.

      • jodyleek

        Tiger. I feel your pain.

        • BJW

          There’s a quantum foam-sized spot in my brain being wasted on that fact, now.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I knew them generally, but not specifically, as I don’t remember numbers very well, so I looked them up. I read a lot of obscure stuff and the general idea sticks, but I often forget the details.

    • suziq

      FAKE SCIENCE!!11!!!!!!

    • suziq

      But-wouldn’t their brilliant male DNAs make the ladies smarter? They seem to imply that the more sex we have the sperm makes us dummer. Or am I too dum to understand?
      (see what I did there?)

      • Angela Ruzzo

        You are using Syllogistic logic. No, no, you are using Propositional Logic. Or maybe you are using Predicate or Modal or Philosophical or Computational logic, or perhaps it is Aristotelian dialectic, I can’t remember which is which anymore, probably because I haven’t had sex in 15 years (I did it too, LOL!)

    • BJW

      Too much sciencey facts and logic and reason and stuff…can’t have that!

      • Angela Ruzzo

        But science is FUN! You get to use colorful charts and diagrams and acronyms, and confuse people, and if you don’t know what you are talking about you can always copy from Wikipedia! I love it!

        • BJW

          Well you got a point…

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Where do Donnie’s hands fit in this graphic?

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Check the comments below. A Wonker estimates his dick is 75 microns, which means his hands are 70 microns.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Donald Trump’s wiener: 75 microns.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Haha! Good one. So his hands are, what, 70 microns?

  • BadKitty904
    • Tony Prost

      I know right?

  • TJ Barke

    I get it, guys, I’m shy, I don’t like social situations in general, let alone trying to interact with a lady you’re attracted to, but that’s on me, not them…

    • suziq

      First, don’t think of them as people, that might help.

      Yes of course I am kidding. Just talk about whatever and get to know them first. It was really weird when a guy I had never even talked to would ask me out. Very uncomfortable for both of us. Also pick up on cues when you are talking. Like when I would chat with a guy who sat by me in a college class of people of all ages. We talked about stuff in general and he was a nice guy. Never noticed the ring or my saying things about a husband? Seriously? He asked me out and I said, just me or can my husband come too?

    • BadKitty904

      Ah, but you’re a good egg, Teej, whereas these types are self-pitying, self-entitled freeks. You just need a lil’ practice, is all, to overcome your shyness.

      • TJ Barke

        I probably need chemicals.

        • BadKitty904

          Hey, just recognizing you’re shy is a step in the right direction. Next up is a plan for overcoming that hindrance.

        • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

          I know you don’t believe me, but Flirting is a learn-able skill. I had to start with online flirting, and eventually I learned to get it done in Meatspace.

          • BadKitty904

            IT IS! IT ABSOLUTELY IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • SisterArtemis

      I think you point to the exact thing: you have self-awareness and a sense of responsibility for your own life, and they lack both of these essential ingredients to being a decent human being.

    • JMP

      Yeah, I’m glad that back when I was single and awkward and could rarely get a date, I was at least self-aware enough to know that it was my own behavior at fault instead of blaming every single woman in the world for it.

  • Mahousu

    I remember the day Hyman was broken. Poor guy. Don’t worry, though, he got over it.

    • The Wanderer

      Wasn’t Hyman the formal name for Hymie the Robot on Get Smart?

    • kareemachan

      True story: my first ob/gyn was an older person from… I’m not sure exactly, but he had an accent and with his name, somewhere eastern European. When he was starting out, he interned under a guy who repaired rich European young women’s virginity before their marriage. Made a shitload doing it, too. But it made me laugh and relax during my first gynecologist visit.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Since this is an open thread: I got me a new computer! My 10-year-old iMac gave up the ghost, and I bought a refurbished HP 650 Pro from the guy who unsuccessfully tried for two weeks to fix it. I am officially unconverted from the Church of Apple. They’re good enough computers, but they cost twice as much as PCs and they have an annoying tendency to break down every five years or so.

    My new system runs great, and I got everything (laptop, docking station, monitor, keyboard, mouse, speakers) for around $675.The only thing is, how the fuck do you turn it off? The OS is Windows 10, and when you click the Windows icon, nothing relating to turn off shows up. I managed to turn it off last night, but I was drunk and don’t remember how I did it.

    • Sophia

      Guess the only way to turn it off is to get drunk again

      • Bitter Scribe

        Working on it.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Capital idea.

    • Earle

      Congrats on a new computer!
      Windows 10 really tries hard to be simple, but everything is ‘hidden’
      Power off is actually pretty easy – click the Windows icon, and the first icon up (looks like a circle with a line at 12 o’clock) is the power button – sleep, restart, and shutdown are the usual choices.
      Or right click on the Windows icon to see choices spelled out for for a human to read.

      • Bitter Scribe

        OK, there’s no power button, but when I right-click on the Windows icon I do see the “shut down or sign off” option. I remember now, that’s how I did it last night. Thanks.

    • SisterArtemis
    • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

      Win 10 boxes at work. Where I am, dammit. So I did a quick refresher.
      Left-Click on slanty window button in lower left of screen. Up pops programs, but also along the left edge are little icons for utility-type stuff. Click on the power-button icon. It’ll pop up with restart, shutdown, sleep, etc.

      ETA: I really should refresh before I answer a question everyone knows the answer to.

    • kareemachan

      I do things on the “need to know” basis. At work, Apple is used, so I’ve had to learn some stuff as I go. It’s okay, no worse or better, IMO, than a PC. Just different.

      • Bitter Scribe

        Except when you have to pay for it. Or pay to have it fixed.

    • Serai 1

      Microsoft 10? No idea. I refuse to engage with that OS. Not enough control for me. My system is 7, and I’m fine with it.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Oh for xrist’s sake!

      Open a command prompt and use the shutdown command.

      • Bitter Scribe

        I have no idea what a command prompt is or how to open it.

  • Khavrinen

    “BUT ANYWAY, even though women and statisticians are lying about the existence of the wage gap to make men feel bad and ruin their days, Mr. Sharpe believes that women should be getting paid less than men.”

    “There’s no such thing as the wage gap, but if there were it would be a good idea.”
    “The Holocaust never happened, but if it had…”

    Am I the only one seeing a pattern here?

  • Sheepshagger

    WHY WONT THESE STUPID SPOILED CUNTS WHO I OVERTLY DESPISE FUCK ME!????

    • Khavrinen

      Some mysteries are simply too complicated for the human mind to understand.
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .

      [ This isn’t one of them. ]

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      “Why can’t I continue being a total loser, an idiot, a sexist prick and pull down the high quality women? They need to change for me!”

      • boredcatlady

        “High quality” 👏👏👏🤣

    • grindstone

      This is pretty much their argument, boiled down. I’ve usually been able to spot that attitude and avoid it, and the times I’ve been suckered in by falsely charming behavior, I’ve been able to leave a relationship. You know, by choice, which steams these assholes.

  • Sophia

    I don’t suppose that it ever occurs to them that maybe they should be “nice” men and not assholes.

    • suziq

      They think they ARE the nice guys. No idea why they would think that though.

      • Liquid Tomato

        Nice guys finish last and women love assholes. So if I’m finishing last and women don’t love me, that must mean I’m a nice guy, not an asshole.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      No more than it occurs to them that they should be men at all.

  • NotALiar

    Women amirite? If they’re not being all fucked up with jizz in the brain they are perioding all over the Man office. Get it 2gether ladies.

    • BJW

      Notice how these dudes miss the one major hormone known to cause violence etc…testosterone. Oh! That don’t count to them as guys only get a little testy. (PS–my three favorite people are men, my husband and 2 adult sons. And they are awesome.)

      • NotALiar

        Is that where the word testy comes from???

        • BJW

          I just checked and testy comes from an Old English word meaning skull. Testosterone come from testes. So not technically linked. And yet, they seem so connected.

        • BJW

          No, they are not related. But it seems like they should be, hmm?

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Huh.

  • “By the time a female gets her workstation set up, she’s already decided who’s she’s going to fuck, who she’s going to get fired, and whose coat tails she’s going to ride up the ladder to success.”

    This sounds familiar. Like a badly written female antagonist in a shitty rom-com movie. Not like any real human females I’ve ever met.

    • She sleeps naked and stretches languorously for 20 minutes every morning, which is described in great detail at the opening of the book.

  • Royal Ugly Dude

    Someone should do a reality show where they track down and embarrass guys who catfish women. They could call it “Catfish Hunter.”
    Actually, that’s a terrible idea.

    • suziq

      I do not watch any reality shows because stupid. But I just might enjoy something like that! Not just the catfish guys, but put on all the other geniuses with their explanation of how things work with the wimmins and then have an actual smart person explain it and make fun of them. Except those idiots would probably get more followers that way.

      • kareemachan

        I watch ‘My Cat from Hell’ and some Dr. Phil (mostly this because it reminds me that our situation (no matter how shitty it might be at the moment) is SO much better than the people on that show).

        Also, Dr. Judy, cuz she’s bad-ass.

  • Does the Magical Mystery Sperm DNA Alterations Thing work with teh gay?

    Aski

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      The magical mystery sperm is coming to take you away
      Coming to take you away!

      • BJW

        Earworm, oh well at least I like the song.

  • Wuulf

    These incel dudes have some really freaky ideas. No wonder they can’t find mates. Aside from being total losers.

  • SDGeoff3

    Unfortunately for these dudes, stupid is forever, and they have long, lonely, bitter lives ahead. And they deserve every bit of it.

    • Tony Prost

      that’s because their sperm that ought to have gone into a woman’s brain, has gone into their own instead.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    These poor nice guys who are so nice! Who is looking out for the nice guys? Not me. Not any women I know. You know why? ‘Cause all women are BAD.

    https://youtu.be/MtgSpGFTmTs

    • Baconzgood

      I for one like Bikini Girls with Machine Guns and would help a Naked Woman Falling Down the Stairs.

      P.S. anyone who posts The Cramps is my BFF.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        I hope you saved the label from Shan’s perfume on the table, so you can remember what made a wreck of you!

        • Baconzgood

          We “wrecked” each other.

    • “Bad music for bad people”

      RIP always, Lux.

      • Baconzgood

        He was the only dude where having skin tight leather pants in public was acceptable

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Listen, MRA dudez. Axe body spray is not a substitute for bathing. Put down the internet and take a shower already.

    • kareemachan

      AXE IS THE WORST.

      (Spoken as a woman who is sensitive to smells – and Axe smells like crap.)

    • RobKanC

      I knew this one guy who didn’t shower for days prolly months. I dreaded going near him as a deadly aroma surrounded him and it would ruin one’s day. I still wonder how any women would even go near him.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        One time? In computer class? I knew this guy in front of me wore the same pants the entire week. The same belt loop was missed every day.

        • SadDemInTex

          But did he change his underpants? That is the important question.

          • Mr. Blobfish

            Ugh. I’m afraid the answer might have been ‘yes’.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Raise your hand if you remember Hai Karate ads from the 60’s!

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Someone in the U.K. bought the rights and has making it since 2014. Original recipe, too.

      • The Librarian

        Be careful how you use it!

  • TJ Barke

    “Why won’t these women whose rights I want to curtail and lives I want to control love me?!”

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      ‘Cause all women are bad.

    • BadKitty904

      Bingo.

    • Panika MCD

      I sometimes wonder if policies that invade our bathrooms and bedrooms are popular with a certain portion of the population for the explicit reason that that portion of the population can’t control their own lives, so they seek to control others as a substitute.

      • boredcatlady

        Ding ding ding winner!

        • Panika MCD

          I used to just think they were jealous of the sex they weren’t having. but when they angled in on our bathrooms, I had to update my theory.

          • boredcatlady

            SAME

  • CindyinEncinitas

    Here I am at the Stone Brewery and Punkindrublic hasn’t been released yet. Sadface emoji. Dude says it’s coming out in August. I am trying Stone WheatonFarking stout, a collaboration with Will actual Wheaton!

    • kareemachan

      Whoa. Honestly!

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      Stone brewery is the best! I haz a jealous.

      • SDGeoff3

        Great food too.

    • SDGeoff3

      Is that Whil Wheaton?

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Yes!’

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      Next time, give a wonker a head’s up. I’m about 45 minutes from Stone, but I haven’t been there in ages.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        We went for Roni Raven’s birthday but we should do a general San Diego drinky thing. Maybe next month.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      next you have to do the Ballast Point brewery

      • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

        I liked Coronado, also too.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Ok.

    • CATMAN

      I lived in Leucadia for 20 years but I got the hell out of there 14 years ago when the goddam yuppies ruined the place–I do miss Roberto’s, though

      • CindyinEncinitas

        If you come back to visit let me know.

  • Baconzgood

    It DOES matter if a woman is a virgin to Baconz. He likes his lady to know what’s happening in the hay. I remember when I was a virgin. It was like trying to understand theoretical mathematics. Gimme a woman with experience that will stop me if I’m doing it wrong then explicitly instruct me how to do it right. FuCK YEAH! That’s the woman for me.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      You’re on to something. I think it’s the opposite for them. The want a virgin who will not know what a lousy lay he is.

      • BadKitty904

        I.e., they want a fellow virgin.

        • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

          Because it would hurt their little bubble to find out that they might not know what they are doing. (And every partner is different)

      • Baconzgood

        Plus if I’m with a woman over the age of 40 who is still a virgin…well her being a virgin is a bigger problem. Like a fear of intimacy on a DSM-V level.

  • kareemachan

    My SO sez that if his sperm is affecting me, he doesn’t see anything that benefits him.

    Heh.

  • SayItWithOtters
  • Mr. Blobfish

    Just wondering: do people in China get English words tattooed on their arms?

    • Panika MCD
      • Mr. Blobfish

        Others have been less felicitous with their choice of Chinese words, with combinations that leave native speakers scratching their heads.
        One Chinese tattooist said he had seen a Westerner with the character meaning “gas” on his arm, instead of “spirit”.
        Marcus Camby, a basketball player for the Los Angeles Clippers, has two enormous characters on his upper arm with no obvious meaning in Chinese.

        *snicker*

        • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

          I always suspected people were being duped with these foreign-language tatts. If you don’t speak the language, then you’re being just as mysterious to yourself as to all those “admiring” strangers.

          • Mildred Broxon

            Or you could just have an inscription in Egyptian hieroglyphs, like me. I know and others must ask.

          • Lori

            I used to say that if I was ever to get a Chinese character tat I’d take my ex’s mom with me to keep an eye on the artist. We always liked each other so I felt confident she wouldn’t let me end up with something ridiculous.

        • Panika MCD

          I personally want “þæt wæs god cyning” which means “that was a good king” or “that was good king” in Old English. it’s from the last half-line of the first stanza of Beowulf which is about how his uncle used to get drunk and break out into poetics and steal the mead bench and ends with, “yep, that was a good king.”

  • Serai 1
    • BadKitty904

      Ummm…

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Isn’t that what fapping is for. To prevent semen clogs?

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    OT the big dawg channeling Sean Spicer by hiding amongst the bushes

    https://twitter.com/yashar/status/885713096664166402/photo/1

    • BadKitty904

      Oh, Bill, you scamp!

    • SadDemInTex

      He was in Dallas?!?!? Damn, I would have trekked to the damn library (which is very close to me).

  • Panika MCD

    meet your nightmare, boys. (I am wearing an orange skirt, but you can’t see it in the photo.)

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a8cba851ab400251223624fc8d9df870b3e2c071584a8c5d87135b399298db77.jpg

    • Jonny On Maui

      Nightmare? Please. Compared to some of the night-terror inducing things posted here…

      • Panika MCD

        but the MRAs? they’d hate it.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
      • Panika MCD

        okay.

        • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

          I love that Boudica is on the list.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i forget, which one is you?

      • Panika MCD

        on the left.

  • The Librarian

    I lol and flip the bird at Mr. Reed’s assertion that 90% of Americans are against abortion. If that were true, Roe v. Wade wouldn’t have happened or would already have been overturned, since very few would be fighting it. Just another sad, pathetic, wanker. Must have sperm on the brain.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Assumes facts not in evidence, re: brains.

  • mailman27

    Viz. The Return of Kings: They’ve only got a half dozen followers for this horseshit, right? #notallmen #acceptmyabjectapologies #youvegottobefuckingkiddingme #ineedanap

  • Scooby

    My study says that not being able to get laid makes you bat shit crazy.

    • BadKitty904

      I’ve noticed that it certainly seems to affect some people’s judgement.

    • TJ Barke

      My findings corroborate yours.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Same here.

  • BadKitty904

    If these bozos are advocating outlawing abortion, I think they follow though and outlaw the cause of abortion – men having sex with women.

    • Panika MCD

      they don’t understand that when that 70% that agrees with some restrictions hears about what exactly Roe v. Wade allows to be restricted, that 70% is pretty much on board with Roe v. Wade.

      also too: fun fact!
      a kid I went to high school with was the grandson of one of the lawyers who argued the case on behalf of the state. he came into the newspaper room to identify some people in a photo one day when this girl was going on a crusade about the subject. when he heard what she was saying, he informed her that his grandfather and the other lawyer who argued the case were both pro-choice.

  • Ricky Gay

    Stupidity and poor life choices seem to trascend gender. Why can’t these ‘fine young men’ find gals who might appreciate their charms? Even briefly.

    • BadKitty904

      My guess would be it’s because these particular young men have no charms?

      • Ricky Gay

        I shoulda said ‘charms’

        • BadKitty904

          They certainly don’t seem to understand how “attraction” works.

    • JMP

      Because their “charms” include a deep-seeded hatred of women which infects their every action and poisons every social encounter they have with a woman.

      • Ricky Gay

        Some women marry death row inmates! That has to sting.

        • kareemachan

          I’ve never understood those women….

          Gack.

      • BadKitty904

        Bitterness and self-pity are not very attractive.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    it may save the American sexual marketplace, and Western Civilization with it.

    Son, the sexual marketplace and Western Civilization are just fine and don’t need or want your saving. You can contribute to the health of both at your local sex toy emporium. I understand the Fleshlight is very popular these days.

    Thank you,
    Western Civilization
    Inventer of the Glory Hole.

    • BadKitty904

      From what I can see, the American Sexual Marketplace seems to be doing a booming business.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        It’s what’s holding the economy together.

      • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

        Especially the importers.

        /snark, b/c this is horrible

        • BadKitty904

          You mean like, say, purchasing a woman from Novo Mesto, Slovenia?

  • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

    A couple of years ago some Asshole on Raw Story told me my “Bisexual Lifestyle” was ruining my “value on the Sexual & Marriage Marketplace”, but as I told him it’s not “A Lifestyle” and also too I would rather be dead than married to a man.

    • OutOfOrbit

      I wouldn’t wanna be married to (or even live with) a man either.

    • BadKitty904

      Where, exactly, is this “Marketplace” located? What is the rate of exchange? So many cows and/or goats in exchange for a spouse?

      • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

        Right? Every-damn-thing is a transaction to these worthless Wastes-of-Skin. No chemistry, no emotions, only a contract.

        I’d rather be alone. I’ve turned down proposals and offers to be a man’s Mistress. I guess I wouldn’t have to worry about money as often, but I’ll not be a slave again.

        • BadKitty904

          I’d rather live with cats than a human I didn’t love or at least like.

          • Suse

            Amen, BK.

          • BadKitty904

            Now that I think on it, cats are more interesting than some guys I’ve met.

          • Alan

            I’d rather live with cats than humans. They don’t leave dishes in the sink or take steamy showers and refuse to turn on the bath fan so the drywall actually needs to be replaced and there’s probably mold in there too…. Sorry, I like cats.

          • BadKitty904

            Other than their proudly bringing their Daddies the lizards or bugs they just killed, I’d agree.

      • JMP

        It’s so, so shocking that there’s a big overlap between the woman-hating man-children of the MRA hate movement and the Free Market worshiping Libertarian cult.

  • SadDemInTex

    I’m so glad I’m an oldz….I am deeply horrified by the crap young women have to endure these days.

    • Panika MCD

      Prima Momma had to wear skirts and hose when she was in college AND she had to have white gloves for the monthly tea with the women’s deans. I’ll take what I can.

    • BadKitty904

      I’m so glad I’m a homo. I can’t believe this species has lasted this long.

    • Suse

      I’m an oldz, too, and I had to put up with a LOT of workplace crap in ’70s-’80s.

    • Jamoche

      I sometimes feel like I grew up in the sweet spot – born in 65, started grade school at peak gender neutral toys, got enough New Math to have the right basis for being a programmer (even though the clueless teacher thought a base-2 system would be silly), started programming when it was just before mainstream, so programmers of any type were so rare they were welcomed instead of the “icky gurls” think we have now.

    • bupkus231

      Hell – I must be older than you – I am deeply horrified by the crap either sex has to endure these days. I had enough trouble with the crap I encountered as a male ( i.e., put myself through ) 30 years ago, before I gave up….

    • Serai 1

      You could not possibly pay me enough money to be young these days. All the money in the world. Nope.

  • azeyote

    someone lives in Pleasantville before it went oz

  • Baconzgood

    “The irritability and emotional swings caused by you two comming into work hung over affects both of your work performance—badly”

    Was actually written in a co-worker and mine’s quarterly evaluation once. It was even written on pink paper and stapled to our employee file.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Ohh! Something bad in your personal record!

      First time I’ve seen you in a while Baconz. Welcome home!

      • Baconzgood

        Still Don and I had some of the highest sales numbers.

  • Suse

    I just picked up a flyer for a house for sale up the street. Among its many features is a brand new “rod iron bannister.”

    • OutOfOrbit

      Vroooom!

    • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

      Hold out for a Rod Serling Bannister. That’s the kind that Smoked for it’s Country.

      “Rod Iron”. Geez Louise.

      • Suse

        This kind of thing drives me crazy.

        • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

          Me too. xD Look it up, people.

          “He shall Rule them with a Rod of Iron, whilst standing behind Wrought Iron.”

          • Suse

            I wish they had spelled it “rot iron.” ;-)

          • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

            xD That would be a little closer.

    • BadKitty904

      What happened to the old Rod? Is he OK?

      • Suse

        He burned up in a fire. No kidding. They had a major fire the day before Thanksgiving last year and had to move out while the house was almost entirely rebuilt. They never moved back in. They only lived there 6 months. The fire was caused by some wonky solar panel deal.

    • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

      Rod “Iron” Bannister was my pr0n name.

    • Alan

      Blacksmith rolls eyes.

  • JMP

    I just wonder how stupid you have to be to think that every woman and every man has basically the exact same personality. That’s what so much of the MRAs’ beliefs on how relationships work boil down to, that every single woman is looking for the same thing in a man and every man looking for the same thing in a woman; and specifically that all men are shallow as fuck and only judge women on physical appearance (and have the same taste), and all women are looking for money and status only. Besides ignoring the existence of gay, bi, trans and asexual people, it’s just completely not how human beings work. We all have different tastes, because we’re all individuals.

    I’m not.

    • Panika MCD

      I always thought the reason my personality had not been their ideal was all the imaginary sperm that was in my brain (since I always have and always will use condoms).

      • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

        To paraphrase R. Lee Ermey, I think the best part of these damned MRAs ran down the crack of their Mama’s ass and ended up a stain on the mattress.

        They’ve been cheated!

    • bupkus231

      You’re not an individual??? What are you, a collective?

  • Zippy W Pinhead
  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Jeezuz Christ! There’s like 2 poles of these dudes. Bros who think they’re awesome and god’s gift to women and bros who don’t understand why women don’t find them awesome. Put down the controller, hit the gym, eat some healthy food. You’ll be alright Brah.

    • Hey. Gamer libelz.

    • Panika MCD

      you usually don’t have to alter your diet or exercise routine. being social and not an asshole is usually enough. you may not get to date Kim Basinger, but you’ll probably get a date.

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        I can see that, but you gotta be a little more well versed in things other than video games and Star Wars. I feel a lot of these dudes have an almost Aspberger’s obsession with a few things and when they find out that they can’t find a woman based on one or two interests, that’s when they become MRAs

        • Panika MCD

          there are plenty of women who love video games and Star Wars. I’m not one of them. I mean, I do very much like Star Wars and think everyone should have to see the films, but I’m not someone who knows all the subcontext and such.

          • Everrett Fanuelli

            I dig Star Wars and Marvel movies, myself. I’m not talking about all folks who like typical “nerd” things. A good majority like these things but are also well-versed in other things. I’m talking about the dudes who only care about a few things and can only relate to others through that interest. I knew a guy like that. Nice guy to be sure. He was obsessed with wrestling and 80s metal. I mentioned Stone Cold Steve Austin and Judas Priest to him once. After that, all he wanted to talk about was wrestling and metal. I was nice about it, but outside of those interests you couldn’t really talk to him about anything else.

          • Panika MCD

            I can be the same way about politics. it’s okay. he just has to find a girl that’s gaga for wrestling and metal.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      and cut your finger nails and toenails!

      (i just did mine, so i’m feeling superior).

  • Panika MCD

    new website: Push Trump Off a Cliff Again (with pixels!)

    http://pushtrumpoffacliffagain.com/

    • cheetojeebus

      Totes fun!

    • cheetojeebus

      Don’t forget to turn up the volume!

  • Vecchioivan

    “You didn’t even have to have game — just be a decent person.”

    Yeah, like chicks would ever fall for a decent guy.

    • BadKitty904

      Imagine that.

  • Scooby

    I just checked on pornhub but there was no category for sperm brain.

    • Vecchioivan

      I just checked again – there is now.

      • Scooby

        I see it right under sperm hair.

  • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta
  • Baconzgood

    “You didn’t even have to have game”

    I don’t know what “game” is so apparently I don’t have “game”. But I am very successful with the opposite sex because I listen to what they say, sit through shitty concerts they like, make them laugh, and have a genuine concern about their feelings.

    Is that a “game”? If so does that make me a “player”?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      plus, you have bacon…

      • Shanzgood

        *snicker*

      • Baconzgood

        I’ve porked a few in my life.

        • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

          I remember this one sow in the sty…. Oh wait, that was a joke.

          WHY S EVERYONE LOOKING AT ME THAT WAY1

          • vivian

            You reap what you sow.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Two Scotsman were sitting on top of a hill that overlooked their small village. During a break in the conversation, one man lets out a sigh as he’s looking down at his village, and his friend asks him what’s wrong.
            “Look at that town down there.” he replied. “You see the bridge crossing the river that leads into our village? I built that bridge with my own two bare hands. But do they call me McGregor, the Bridgebuilder? No.
            “And you see the Church in the middle of our village, overlooking the square? Well I built that Church with my own two bare hands. And do they call me…McGregor, the Churchbuilder? No.”

            He pauses, and looks over at his friend. “But fuck ONE sheep.”

          • Baconzgood

            I know this one. It’s one of my “go to”. Ask Shanz. She’s tiered of hearing it.

          • Serai 1

            A traveling salesman stopped at a farmhouse and asked if they had a spot he could sleep in for the night. The farmer allowed as how he could sleep in the barn. So the salesman settled down.

            The next morning, the farmer’s wife invited him in to have breakfast with them. While they were eating, the salesman asked, “I noticed you have a pig with a wooden leg. What’s the story on that?”

            The farmer replied, “Oh, that’s a great pig. He saved my son from drowning when he fell in the back pond. Excellent pig.”

            “I see. But why does he have a wooden leg?”

            “He really is an amazing pig. A few years back, this house caught on fire, and the pig ran in and woke us up. If it wasn’t for him, we’d be dead. Very smart, we love him a lot.”

            The salesman was puzzled. “So why does he have a wooden leg?”

            The farmer smiled. “Well, you know, a pig that great – you don’t want to eat him all at once!”

          • Baconzgood

            Hey…this joke offends me.

        • Serai 1

          But is your tool shaped like a corkscrew? INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW.

          • Baconzgood

            More like the hammer of Thor.

    • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

      No, that’s being a cool guy. I’ve had guys try to “Game” me, it’s really insulting and stupid. Negging, weird compliments, and showing off cash.

    • Panika MCD

      you mean you don’t treat it like a game? you’re obviously not a NICE GUY™.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Oh and that confuses the hell out of them. They call men like baconz “Naturals” and would seek to discover the essence of a “natural”, but are to busy wallowing in self pity.

        • Panika MCD

          it has a lot to do with baconz being goodz.

          • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

            Yep.

          • Shanzgood

            Exactly. Plus really weird. In a good way.

          • Baconzgood

            “Never underestimate the stimulation of eccentricity”

            -Neil Simon-

          • vivian

            Uh, I think I’m a fairly successful rebuttal of that concept. Unless by ‘stimulation’ you mean confused looks and awkward departures.

        • Baconzgood

          What’s “naturals”? Like I’m with no GMOs and fertilized with guano?

    • Alan

      Actually, it just makes you lazy. Way easier than all the bullshit.

      • Baconzgood

        Plus I don’t have to remember all the lies. I’m not smrt.

    • bupkus231

      Why don’t you ask Shanz?

      • Baconzgood

        I cant. She’s in a comatosed state after I gave her such great luvin. That’s another thing about me…I like to have secksy times for her pleasure too also.

  • Zippy W Pinhead
    • Panika MCD

      that’s definitely going to surpass the reconciliation rules.

    • Vecchioivan

      Alaska: half a million libertarians on welfare.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        and they luved all that socialism when it took the form of those generous oil company checks

    • bupkus231

      Yeah – she initially objected over Planned Parenthood cuts.

      We know where “Republican objections” usually end up…

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    “The irritability and emotional swings caused by their periods affects their work performance—badly.”

    A swing and a miss!

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      “By the time a female gets her workstation set up, she’s already decided who’s she’s going to fuck, who she’s going to get fired, and whose coat tails she’s going to ride up the ladder to success.”

      Strike two!

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        “they’re at HR for the third time this week filing, yet, another sexual harassment claim because some beta “attempted to sexually assault her” by telling her hello.”

        And he’s out!

        • Alan

          I think he was ejected from the game before he even got to finish his at-bat.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            it’s a very silly game…with TERRIBLE refs.

    • Panika MCD

      I can think of a few male legislators who are irritable and have mood swings…wonder what explains that.

      • Vecchioivan

        Usually prostate trouble.

        • OutOfOrbit

          A prostate massage is best for that.

        • Panika MCD

          some of them are too young still.

        • bupkus231

          Hey – you jest, but….

    • OutOfOrbit

      I once supervised 10 wimmens and I never, over 5 years, ever noticed a moon cycle in performance or tude.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        the only time I could tell was with one gf, and that’s cause pre-menstruation, she got super frickin’ horny.

        It’s true.

  • Ezio
    • BadKitty904

      lol

    • The Flaming Carrot

      It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. And then the zombies bit off his head.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        worst TWD episode ever!

        • boredcatlady

          I WOULD agree, but, you know, Lori

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            Lori’s death or episodes with lori?

            Cause, I have an opinion on that.

          • boredcatlady

            Episodes with Lori. I enjoyed her death 😃

          • The Librarian

            Totally agree. I liked her character much better in the graphic novel.

          • boredcatlady
          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            i will never understand the hate for lori…okay, now that i think back, maybe i do.

            I started teh show WAY after it got popular so I heard about the lori hate. And now that i think about it – she was kind of annoying harpie.

            We may have to take this up after I get back from gym.

          • boredcatlady

            I didn’t like her character, from the start. The juggling of Shane and Rick, from the start, and then it’s like we knew where it was gonna end up and it draaaaaagged out too long, their triangle ate up so much screen time and I think just hungered to get more involved with everyone else, making me hate her all the more. I used to wish death on Carl too but I kinda love him now

          • calliecallie

            Andrea was actually the one that bothered me more. But when she had to die I was afraid it was going to be another one of these gratuitously violent killings of a long-standing female character. (Seems like there was quite a bit of that going on for a while. I wrote to some shows about it.) But they gave her a good death, thank you, Mishonne. I was glad of that.

    • TJ Barke

      That guy’s hat is huge.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        overcompensating

        • TJ Barke

          Fer sure.

  • BadKitty904

    Speaking of this whole love/attraction bidness, here’s my tip – learn how to cook.

    On that note, I’m off to start a-fixin’ supper…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6XjasZpzII

    • Shanzgood

      Hell yeah!

  • Baconzgood

    Sexual Marketplace? Where is THAT store in the mall?

    • Panika MCD

      no, it’s a bar in the Tenderloin.

      • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

        Correction: it’s all the bars in the Tenderloin.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      it’s a division of Sexual Healing.

      • TJ Barke

        Is that like Sexual Magic?

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          Sexual Magic is in building C.

    • vivian

      Right next to the Returns and Complaints desk.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Amazon is getting ready for drone delivery- they’re just trying to figure out how to get your new partner to survive the drop

    • Boojum

      Next to Hot Topic.

      • Baconzgood

        I thought it was Spencers new name.

  • Up In Smoke O’hontas

    We’ve been taking care of our neighbor’s ill 15yo kitty while he was called out of town, and tragically, Hannibal did not wake up this morning (we all knew his time was close). Of course, we’re heartbroken, and our neighbor won’t be back for 2 days so he asked us to bury him. I want to honor my neighbor’s faith and read a bible passage at the burial but I can’t find anything that feels right (I’m an atheist, and the verses I’m finding don’t resonate). Any suggestions would be appreciated.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i swear to you, if you google “pet funeral” you’ll find something in less than 5 minutes.

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        That was my first try, but the verses just don’t ring true for me. There’s all sorts of sweet, kinda godly quotes but nothing from the Bible speaks to me…maybe something from psalms?

        • Serai 1

          Kinda depends on what you want to say.

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            Historically, our animal funerals were something to the effect of, “Now he’s knocking shit off the Great Counter in the Sky.” But our neighbor is devout…

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            ah! that’s your out…ask your neighbor, “is there a particular bible verse you would like us to recite.”

            easy peasy.

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            Damn! I didn’t even think of that! Good call!

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            !!

    • Panika MCD

      “But now ask the beasts, and let them teach you; And the birds of the heavens, and let them tell you.” Job 12:7

      “The young lions roar for their prey, seeking their food from God. When the sun rises, they steal away and lie down in their dens. Man goes out to his work and to his labor until the evening. O Lord, how manifold are your works! In wisdom have you made them all; the earth is full of your creatures.” Psalms 104:21-24

      and then there’s the LOLCat Bible: http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Main_Page

      • Serai 1

        Those are excellent choices.

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        Ah! Thanks so much! That verse from Job came up in my searches but must have been from a different version of the bible. I like this one and I think it will comfort our friend. also, I really needed an lol and cat bible did it! Wonkers always come through!

        • Panika MCD

          I like the Job one quite a bit, too. thanks Google machine!

    • Suse

      Poor kitty! It seems most bible verses mentioning animals are about man’s dominion over them. That’s one thing I really hated when I was in parochial school.

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        That’s what I’m finding, and we all know kitties are the true rulers! Thanks, Suse! *hugs*

    • ariel_gee_398

      Maybe a variation on the Franciscan pet blessing: Blessed are you, Lord God,
      maker of all living creatures.
      On the fifth and sixth days of creation,
      you called forth fish in the sea,
      birds in the air, and animals on the land.
      You inspired St. Francis to call all animals
      his brothers and sisters.
      We ask you to bless this animal.
      By the power of your love,
      You enabled him to live according to your plan.
      May we always praise you
      for all your beauty in creation.
      Blessed are you, Lord our God, in all your creatures! Amen.

    • Alan

      I think a verse from The Little Prince is more fitting. No, I’m not kidding.

    • The Flaming Carrot

      From the e.e. cummings bible – Why Did You Go (Little Fourpaws). My 20-odd year old cat waited until I went out of town to die as well.

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        Sorry for your loss and thanks for the poem.

    • BosGrl

      At least he wasn’t alone in the house when he died :(. You’re a good soul.

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        He was part of our family too, and we’ll miss the old guy. He had a good long life and is catching bunnies in the great beyond, I’m sure. Thanks, BosGrl.

    • Boojum

      Something from Revelations, with monsters.

    • Yr. Gma

      How sad.

  • James

    Holy crap this non-comment thread is moving too fast to keep up. I make a comment down below, and find that I’m over 150 comments behind.

    • BJW

      I need to take a shower and I’m afraid I won’t be able to catch up.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i did that just a little while ago – something like 267 comments later….

    • bupkus231

      Your mistake – you took time to think about your (non)comment before making it.

      C’mon, man – just spew it!

  • Baconzgood

    Women get paid less because their menstrual cycles cause bear attacks. We ALL know it so why not just say it out loud.

    • James

      My neighbour called yesterday and said he and his son are going to Wyoming to go bear hunting. Asked me if I wanted any of the meat. I declined, but your comment makes me wonder what he’s planning to use for bait.

      • Panika MCD

        bear meat does not taste very good. it’s like a bear actually eating people meat: they’ve got to be VERY hungry. otherwise they just maul you to get you out of their hunting territory.

        • Baconzgood

          “I tried Chinese once. Too much gristle”

          -A. Bear-

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            plus, I was hungry again in an hour…

          • Panika MCD

            bear liver can also too kill a person.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            and it’s really greasy

          • Panika MCD

            and has toxic levels of Vitamin A.

          • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

            I read about that in an account of a crazy Russian polar expedition in the early 20th. Someone manages to shoot a polar bear, they go crazy and eat all of it (starving, else why chase a polar bear, duh), and almost everyone went blind from vitamin A poisoning.

          • Le Chapeau

            I’ve had black bear meat twice. Not greasy.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            I had it a couple of times as a kid (don’t know what kind of bear) and it really was greasy and not that good. Could have been the way it was prepared- like I said, I was a youngster

          • Le Chapeau

            My friend, a Seneca Indian, has killed a lot of bears over the years. First time I had it, it was cooked overnight underground on a bed of coals, Indian style. It just fell apart. So good. Second time, he backed a big pan of it with peppers and onions for his birthday party, and I got there late, after it had been sitting for some time, tasty, but a bit dry.

          • Baconzgood

            Can’t sell that here. The neighbor is a big hunter and got a few black bears. Had to toss the liver out by PA law. Apparently the Chinese will pay like 300 bucks a lb for it on the black market.

          • Panika MCD

            well, they probably powder it and put it on their peters.

        • Le Chapeau

          Black bear meat, properly cooked, is delicious, and tastes like a rich roast beef.

          • Panika MCD

            moose is better.

          • Le Chapeau

            Haven’t had moose. Had caribou, which was pretty good. Have had llama and alpaca, and they’re pretty good too.

          • Panika MCD

            caribou is pretty gamey.

          • Le Chapeau

            The piece I had was fine. As a relative of deer, caribou is going to taste somewhat similar, and gamey is what people accuse venison of all the time.

          • Panika MCD

            I know what the animal is–though scientists are still trying to decide whether it’s a separate species from or a subspecies of reindeer.

          • Le Chapeau

            I’m sure they are close enough to be kissin’ cousins.

          • Panika MCD

            they’re close enough to be breeding cousins. and, it should probably be noted, that a moose is also a kind of deer.

          • Le Chapeau

            Indeed.

          • Le Chapeau

            Big, strong, and often ill-tempered. We encountered one in a thick birch forest in a park just outside of Fairbanks. We were on a raised boardwalk, and it was about 25 yards away, browsing on birch twigs. I was ready to stuff the family under the boardwalk if necessary, but we, and the moose, managed to slowly work our way around each other, and went our separate ways.

          • Panika MCD

            Fairbanks is my other home town. I was born there and moved to Austin in kindergarten and went back to UAF for my undergrad. the Large Animal Research Station is the one working on the caribou/reindeer question. you hid your family under the boardwalks at Pioneer Park?

          • Le Chapeau

            No. Reading comprehension would do you a lot of good. I was ready to do so if mr or ms moose decided to be obstreperous, a word I’m sure you know means unruly. But, as it happened we passed each other peacefully, without stuffing.

          • Panika MCD

            you know what would do you good? READING COMPREHENSION! I’ve been trying to subtly point out to you that you’ve been a condescending prick since you acted like I didn’t know what a caribou was. but that seemed to go right over your head. THANKS!

          • Le Chapeau

            That’s funny, because I have been reacting to your condescending prickishness! How about we call a truce?

          • Panika MCD

            I was trying to show you what you were doing–something your desire to show you were smart instead of being smart prevented you from seeing. even if I wasn’t from AK originally, I’d still know what a caribou was because most of us on this site watched Planet Earth and even the general public, if they didn’t get it from that particular show, got it from one of the thousand reality shows about AK. next time resist the urge to play Captain Obvious. either that or block me because I don’t care for someone who would rather call a truce than learn something. going for reading comprehension, really? why don’t I shove my two degrees in English straight up your ass since clearly you want someone to massage your prostate.

          • Le Chapeau

            First off, you’re still being a dick. Second, my point about caribou was about how people might interpret the flavor, since it is likely to be somewhat similar to venison. It was no attempt to school you on biology. Third, I took it as a dick remark when you asked if I put the family under the boardwalk, since I said I had been ready to do so, and never said I did, writing that we and the moose worked around each other. Fourth, I’ll see your two English degrees with my English degree and my 30 years as a newspaper editor. I have written hundreds of stories, and edited thousands, written thousands of headlines, laid out thousands of papers, and trained a couple generations of reporters and editors. So, I will hereby apologize for any misunderstanding, and say, let’s be friends, since clearly we have both been around the block, and we have a lot more to worry about with the country and all. I will renounce all dickishness in any subsequent remarks to you. What do you say?

          • Panika MCD

            okay.

          • Le Chapeau

            I know your comments. We are on the same side. Let’s go get the bastards. And thank you.

          • Panika MCD

            truce.

      • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

        My grandchildren found a pile of bear shit behind our house last week, right next to the air conditioner compressor. Really freaked out the 8 year old. I haven’t seen the bear yet but my neighbor got some pictures of it in front of his house.
        Edit: and yes, the house is in the woods.

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0f10ee68161f657d673cfcef4636891128862f04b8d77831f380d9c8ede93617.jpg

        • Baconzgood

          BULL SHIT STORY! Bears shit in the woods not next to your HVAC!

    • Khavrinen

      Bear attacks?!? We need some way to protect ourselves from this clearly imminent threat ASAP:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o41MacRxepQ

      • Baconzgood

        Rocks stop lion attacks.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          Baconz, i would like to buy your rock.

          (obligatory)

        • Shanzgood

          What about laser pointers?

    • TJ Barke
    • Boojum

      That’s why Elementary school teachers (who are all women) need guns at school, because of the menstrual bears.

  • Iam Reading

    There is absolutely nothing useful about these MRA types. If nothing else they should be turned into Soylent Green

    • Vecchioivan

      Don’t they call that pink slime?

      • Sentient AI From The Future

        I cannot help but hope that you meant that in the Yeti/SubGenius sense of “pink(boy)”

    • therblig

      so, like extra virgin olive oil?

      • Le Chapeau

        RIMSHOT.

    • Boojum

      Ew. How about rendering them for motor oil?

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I had a real problem with men when I was in my early 20’s – they didn’t seem to believe a thing I said. I’d say “I don’t like football” and they’d say “Oh, you don’t mean that.” I’d say “I don’t want children” and they’d say “Oh, you don’t mean that.” I’d say “I want you to wear a condom” and they’d say “Oh, you don’t mean that.” They were always telling me that women never mean what they say and are always playing games with men and telling them what they want to hear, instead of what they really think, but when I said what I thought they didn’t fucking believe me!!! Dating did not go well with me in my 20’s. I gave up and tried again in my late 30’s, and that went much better.

    • James

      It goes along with the “that’s just a phase” argument. My wife got that for saying she wanted no children from most of the women in her family. I got that for declaring I was an atheist from most of my family.

      • Serai 1

        The last time someone in my family tried that shit on me, I just got up and walked away. Who needs to hear it?

        • Angela Ruzzo

          I’m 60 now, nobody does that to me anymore, which is one of the very few things that is not terrible about being 60.

          • Yr. Gma

            There are many not terrible things about being 60.

          • Erala Contratista

            Immunity to guilt trips!!!!!!

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I got that one too, but only from family, and only about marriage, as in “This is only a phase, you’ll change your mind when you find the right man.” Uh, no. From dates I got “All women want children, no woman is fulfilled without children” shit. It was the late 70’s/early 80’s. Where had these guys been living for the previous 15 years? Afghanistan? Did they never watch “The Mary Tyler Moore Show”???? I kept running into these Cave Men, so I just gave up and bought a vibrator. Best decision I ever made.

        • James

          I imagine my mother got the “it’s just a phase” part as she’s an atheist as well (apparently I got it from her). I still get the occasional “you’ll change your mind” or other such twaddle.

          I went a long time without ever having dated a woman (but not because I am one of those MRA jerks). My first wife took me to the cleaners, used my military benefits, then made me homeless.

          That still didn’t make me into an MRA jerk.

          My wife now loves me. We will grow old together. We’re both happy.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Congratulations, I’m very glad you are happy. That’s what marriage should be like. But when I was about 8 I looked around at all the married couples I knew (parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, neighbors, parents of friends) and all I saw was that the woman was doing all the work, all the time. All the cooking, cleaning, shopping, laundry, child care, school activities, tutoring, chauffering, budgeting, minor repairs, nursing, and sometimes even lawn care, PLUS they all had full-time jobs, PLUS they did it pregnant. Even when we went on a camping vacation, my mother was still doing the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry. I said “No way, it’s not for me.”

    • eastcoastlib

      Most men don’t actually reach full maturity until their mid 30’s. I know I didn’t.

      • Le Chapeau

        I’m in my 60s and I’m still immature! I’m old enough to know better, but not yet old enough to act on the information.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        They often get even better in their 40’s, unless they have a lot of alimony to pay by then.

  • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

    All women are bad
    All real men are sad
    Overturn Roe Vs. Wade
    The menstruated are overpaid
    And I
    Cannot fucking
    Get laid.
    -Incel Poetry

    • wait! what?

      You forgot the last line.

      MOMMY, bring me more hot pockets! Don’t make me come out of this basement!

    • Serai 1

      This woman is glad
      These idiots are mad

    • vivian

      Is this from the Poetry Barn?

      • BosGrl

        Is that like Dress Barn for poetry?

        • vivian

          Or the Pottery Barn for dyslexics…

  • Ezio

    It’s pretty damn pathetic that the same men who claim women are overly emotional and irrational are the same ones who claim that women are at fault for getting raped because of how they’re dressed and men “can’t help themselves because boys will be boys”.

  • La forza del resistino

    The Dominicans had a safe space for these boys. A monastery.

    • Boojum

      “Safe” space.

  • The Flaming Carrot

    Actually, Milo Yiannopoulos argued for a pay grade differential 2 years ago. He also argued (separately) that women should be kept out of certain fields altogether because of the distraction they create. We desperately need him in the U.S., due to his extraordinary ability and achievement.

    • Boojum

      So, it’s the squirrel’s fault that the dog can’t pay attention. Got it.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Now what did I do?

        • Boojum

          What? Where?

  • Alan

    “…you could be a decent guy with a
    middle-class or even lower-middle class job and you would probably be
    able to find a reasonably virtuous woman to marry and start a family
    with. You didn’t even have to have game — just be a decent person.”

    This guy missed the irony?

    • Vecchioivan

      Beggars the imagination, don’t it?

      • vivian

        The beggars in my imagination all have a hunger for Grey Poupon. This is what an advertising-saturated culture will do to a mind.

        • Boojum

          They like brown poop on. 💩

      • Alan

        Beyond ken.

    • Boojum

      “Be a decent person” meaning “get her pregnant so that she won’t have any choice but to marry you.”

      • Shanzgood

        “How to own your very own woman! Click here to learn this easy 3-minute trick!”

  • jaspersdad

    Let’s be honest here. Hate is a conservative value.

    • Khavrinen

      “A” or “the” ?

  • FauxAntocles

    As a white male, I guess I should be the most entitled person in this country – unfortunately, it’s mostly embarrassing.

    • armed_bears

      I know. right? Hard to meet my daughter’s gaze, too.

    • eastcoastlib

      I’m not sure you can do much about it at this point.

  • BosGrl

    “If they’re not flirting with the VP hawtee, they’re either starting rumors about other women or they’re at HR for the third time this week filing, yet, another sexual harassment
    claim because some beta “attempted to sexually assault her” by telling her hello.”

    “If they’re not flirting with the VP hawtee, they’re either starting rumors about other women or they’re at HR for the third time this week filing yet another sexual harassment
    claim because some beta attempted to “sexually assault” her by telling her hello.”

    Sorry, that was driving me nuts.

    Also, fuck him very hard with very Sharpe votes.

    • vivian

      It certainly is mysterious. Why would a group of people you hold in utter contempt not want to hang out with you? It’s almost as if disdain, condescension, and fear aren’t attractive.

      • Boojum

        Say it’s not true!

    • Boojum

      He’s a beta because an alpha would have succeeded at sexually assaulting her?

  • Sentient AI From The Future

    I have particular ire for those who claim that shotgun weddings are somehow better for society or individuals.
    The meatbag that houses me can draw a direct line from “you’re fooling around or pregnant, you need to get married”, a position taken by their great-grandmother with their grandmother, to, at minimum, widespread physical abuse of meatbag, sibling, and meatbag’s mother.

    Grandma’s shotgun marriage collapsed when good for nothing grandpenis ran out on them. Mother was barely out of diapers, and spent her upbringing thinking male attention was something of actual value.

    So of course when she gets pregnant its by a violent schmuck, in spite of the beatings and infidelity. And then meatbag and sibling come along and have to watch the whole mess unfold until they are old enough to receive physical violence themselves.

    • Yr. Gma

      A sadly not uncommon story.

    • Le Chapeau

      The family seems nice.

  • Baconzgood

    These dudes masturbate an unhealthy amount. I’d bet money on that. Any takers? I’ll give you 8-1

    • OutOfOrbit

      Fapping is not healthy? Dam.

      • Baconzgood

        I set my self up for that.

    • vivian

      Define “unhealthy”…

      • Baconzgood

        4 times a day more than me…so…carry the 7…

        • OutOfOrbit

          Mathing while fapping? ugh

        • Boojum

          Multiply by x squared, where “x” is the ratio of first to second dates…

          • Baconzgood

            My calculator only has 9 number places on it then it goes Err. I need to get the aabiscus out.

          • Baconzgood

            FuCK! I just set myself up again.

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            Meh, no one is wearing pants around here anyway, so let your aabiscus get some air…as long as you aren’t sitting on wicker you’ll be fine.

    • Panika MCD

      wouldn’t masturbation keep men from falling prey to their evil lady co-workers’ evil plots?

      • Shanzgood

        They don’t still be mad at all the wimminz because they still have to masturbate.

        • Panika MCD

          even when I have partners, I still masturbate. what’s the problem with that?

          • Shanzgood

            Nothing, as far as I’m concerned! People own their own bits!

    • Boojum

      Masturbation prevents prostate cancer. Well, orgasms prevent prostate cancer, but for some of us they are indistinguishable.

      • Yr. Gma

        Orgasms vs. prostate cancer?

        • Boojum

          My new 501(c)(3), “Orgasms Against Prostate Cancer.” I’ll collect donations to promote masturbation.

          Hey, non-profit porn sites are the latest thing.

    • Vecchioivan

      #%!#!

  • bupkus231

    I didn’t read most of this post by Robyn, mostly because I’m kinda tired of all the attention being paid to these losers in the MRA “movement”. They’re fucking horrible assholes, make men as a whole look like horrible asshojes, and I no longer get any “thrill” from reading about assholes who are more more horrible than I am.

    Just scrolling back,and seeing a quote from one talking about the “sexual marketplace” makes me want to hurl. Cut me a break, Robyn – these guys don’t get sufficient attention from the rest of the world, why should we give them anymore?

    • Yr. Gma

      Scorn is good for them.

    • bopeep

      When someone is actively seeking to destroy me, my rights, my freedom, my future and that of my daughters and nieces, I want someone keeping an eye on them and exposing them to the light. We need more of this, not less.

      • bupkus231

        Okay, I see your position – I have nieces, too.

        Nevertheless, I can’t help but think of this coverage as “overkill”. It’s great for snarking, but,,,,

        [ Entirely unlike political snarking, for which there is no limit ]

  • armed_bears
  • Boojum

    Save “the sexual marketplace?” What, is he some kind of sexual Socialist, nationalizing the means of production and imposing protective regulation to avoid honest competition?

    I just made myself throw up in my mouth a little.

    • Erala Contratista

      Yeah. That got my attention, too.
      How does a neoVictorian ……oh, wait, the originals saw sex as a market commodity too, also.
      Wonder if the obsession with pron is comparable?

  • Panika MCD
  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Something tells me that these guys totally miss the point about Fight Club.

    • Ezio

      Yeah but see these guys like Fight Club unironically.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      I am Jack’s raging insecurity…

  • Ezio

    OT: On a more lighthearted note I went to see Spider-Man: Homecoming today. There was one scene that was so heroic and so emotionally charged that I felt like jumping out of my seat and running around the theater. Michael Keaton as the Vulture is also one of the better Marvel movie villains also, which is shocking because the comic version of the character I always thought was lame.

  • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

    I feel like OK Go wrote this song about me:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mItuZ8i4wH8&list=PLgA_QpnjZQyyg2xGkWCAkeBlscomEi1Fn&index=54

    When they finally come to destroy the earth
    They’ll have to deal with you first
    And now my money says they won’t know about the
    Thousand Fahrenheit hot metal lights behind your eyes

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I don’t know where these idiots got that shit about our menstrual cycles making us crazy for 10 or 11 days. I had the Periods From Hell, and at their worst they only lasted 6 days, and the really bad part was only the first 3 days, but that was before I went on The Pill. Have they not heard about birth control pills? They did away with all that stuff. Depo-Provera is even better – no periods for 3 months, joy, joy.

    • Panika MCD

      mine are about 5 days. I’m uncomfortable with back cramps the first day, but unless you ask why I have a pained look on my face at times, you wouldn’t know. if you ask, you know. that’s all there is to it. I’m not emotionally irritable, though.

      the Pills that work either do cause me mood swings or give me two periods a month–one for 4 days and one for 3. never went on Depo because I’ve known a few people who got pregnant on that. I probably should since I always use condoms anyway (because: STDs are bad).

      • Angela Ruzzo

        If I got irritable, it was because I was in pain, or anxiously waiting for the next accident that would make me rush to the bathroom, both of which situations I think would make anyone irritable. I don’t remember having mood swings until I hit menopause. And you’re right, women shouldn’t rely 100% on Depo, but I was over 40 when I started using it so there were slightly fewer risks.

    • Alan

      Just put up with it. Fucking with your endocrine system is no joke.

      • Yr. Gma

        Do you just put up with your periods, Alan?

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          Just put up with monthly pain so intense it makes you vomit! Put on your big girl panties and function while having uterine contractions! Just deal with worrying about getting pregnant every time you have sex for the majority of your life! Suck it up, buttercup, says the person who will never go through these things!

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Amen, sister!! My father couldn’t get it through his THICK HEAD that he needed to consult with my mother and sister and me before he planned a camping trip. Like I want to spend a week in a tent in the woods 30 miles from a toilet and a shower while we’re all having our periods. DUMB!

          • Shanzgood

            Yeah, my daughter has been on the pill for about 2 years now because she would miss a couple of days of school every time because she was in the same kind of vomit-inducing pain. Fuck that.

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            The pill, and now my IUD, made my life livable. If I have lost any years to it, what I have gained in quality is priceless.

        • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

          Probably is the biggest baby whilst having a mild headache?

        • Alan

          You know that’s a stupid response. I don’t tailgate but I know it decreases survival rate. Every doctor and every actuary in the world knows that long term use of hormonal birth control decreases survival for a plethora of reasons including increased incidence of breast cancer, heart disease, arterial plaque, and stroke as well as decreased bone density and muscle mass. If you know these things and choose to take it that’s your choice. But the problem is that most women think it’s like taking a vitamin. It’s the biggest coup ever by pharmaceutical companies. Get half of the healthy population to take our drugs every day for decades for a disease they don’t even have. The FDA wouldn’t approve it today.

          • Yr. Gma

            Thanks for mansplaining.

          • Alan

            That’s even more ridiculous.

          • Yr. Gma

            If the tampon fits…

          • Alan

            And that’s even more more ridiculous. Not even sure what it means.

          • Yr. Gma

            A woman would get the joke.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        You Know Not Whereof You Speak. Imagine pain so bad you can’t walk or talk, and it lasts 36 hours, and then you gush blood every 30 minutes for 3 days, and this is every month for THIRTY-FIVE GOD DAMN YEARS. I’d rather fuck with my endocrine system, thank you very much. It’s my endocrine system, I can do what I want with it. Besides, I’m 60 now, so it’s over. Finally.

      • Claire

        Bro. No. Stop.

        Go back to bed, start the day over, read the post above while you’re brushing your teeth, and do better this time.

    • James

      Something something The Bible.

    • Khavrinen

      And yet these guys are in the same camp as those who are so gung-ho about preventing health care for paying for the Pill. It’s almost like they can’t add two and two…

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Yeah, like maybe some guys are just naturally bad at math or something, LOL.

    • Juan de Fuca

      It’s projection. Speaking as a guy, most guys go through more extreme emotional cycles than any woman I’ve known and I’ve been married for 20 years.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        OK, but most men won’t admit it. When will human beings admit that occasionally being emotional is a normal part of being a human being? I’ve seen guys cry at football games. I’ve seen them cry at funerals. It’s cool. Maybe we could have a global “Let’s All Be Human Today” day.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    First up, we have this biology genius who is pretty sure that sperms are MAGIC and can travel through the bloodstream to screw with our ladybrains!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUspLVStPbk

  • boredcatlady

    Whew, Robyn, this raised my blood pressure!

  • eastcoastlib

    Why not go back to the beginning when our forefathers just clubbed a babe they liked over the head and dragged her to his cave?

    • Panika MCD

      because the MRAs don’t have the requisite upper-body strength.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Speaking of biology, Donovan dearie, have you ever tried dealing with a young man after he just checked out a hot babe he fancies? Good luck getting him to stop drooling, much less do some actual work FFS…

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    By the time a female gets her workstation set up, she’s already decided who’s she’s going to fuck, who she’s going to get fired, and whose coat tails she’s going to ride up the ladder to success.

    Damn, who are these hyper-efficient women? I’ve barely figured out where the company restroom is by that point FFS and TYVM.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i swear, i SWEAR, at the brief legal job, i didn’t know where the bathroom on the floor was for about a week, then couldn’t get there directly from my desk without wandering around a bit first for another week.

      ETA: Turn out to be about 10 steps down the hall.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        My job often entails flying into some city with an airport you’ve never been to, then getting up at the crack of dawn the next morning and going to some hall or convention center that you’ve never been in before, working your ass off until you drop for 12-14 hours, then trying to remember how you got into the building and where your hotel room is.

        You learn coping skills, lol

        (and eventually, if you stay in the biz long enough there just aren’t that many cities/airports/venues/hotels left that you haven’t been to before)

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          after about the 5 or 6th day, I started getting around like i was hunting treasure with an old west map (i.e. using landmarks).

          Getting off the elevator, you turned right to the opposite side of the receptionist, immediately turn left so you can see the comptroller’s office window…when you get there, immediate right past the Magic HR lady to my desk.

          It’s how I navigated everywhere for the longest time.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            landmarks are key. True story, there is a wonderful back way to get from your rooms at the Palazzo in Vegas all the way to the ballrooms and the Sands Convention Center via unmarked service corridors that saves 90% of the trip and you don’t have to go through any casinos or shopping malls/food courts etc. Once you learn about it, you’ll never go the long way again. Going to is easy, but coming back is a maze of empty corridors and unmarked doors. But there is a pillar marked with red paint across from the door that you want- we all joke that it is the blood of some housekeeper who died to show everyone the way…

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            i laughed at that last part.

          • Courser_Resistance

            Me too!

          • Courser_Resistance

            Most years we do an active shooter exercise at an enormous high-end mall. It involves multiple responding law enforcement and EMS agencies. Our group performs evaluations & I usually evaluate the video surveillance folks. That room is deep in the bowels of the mall. I know what service corridor to go in, but we always go out another, much shorter way and I have no idea where that is.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I worked at a place for a week and never managed to get efficiently from point A to Point B and back. I was constantly doing laps in the halls. The architect who designed a basically boxes inside boxes office layout needs to die in a fire. Having to navigate by abstract artwork is cruel and unusual punishment

  • James

    You knew it was coming eventually:Ivanka Trump implicated in Russia scandalhttps://t.co/OJoc1LzuWoBy @owillis pic.twitter.com/Sq30JHl2lM— Shareblue (@Shareblue) 15 July 2017

  • Panika MCD

    fun times with the TX redistricting trial (in which, depending on how SCOTUS rules in the WI case that political gerrymandering is not cool anymore, may not even matter)

    Rep. Drew Darby (R – San Angelo) is invoking legislative privilege on emails between him and several other legislators that would show intent. the judges aren’t happy.

    https://www.texastribune.org/2017/07/14/redistricting-trial-texas-refutes-discrimination-claims-while-blocking/

    • Is that even a thing? Especially in a trial situation?

      • Panika MCD

        I would think that it wouldn’t apply in federal court when it’s a state legislative privilege law…

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      heh, money quote (from the judge):

      “How is a plaintiff in a Voting Rights Act case going to understand the intent of the legislature, if it can’t look at documents?” he asked.

  • Le Chapeau

    I have worked with women for the better part of 40 years, and I could not have told you who was having their period if you put a gun to my head. A agree with Robyn that Douchewhistle Sharpe has never worked with women and may not even know any, with the possible exception of his mom.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I’ve spent most of my life in the accounting field. Fair number of men in the field, too, but sure, there’s an asshole in every office, but most men I’ve worked with I’ve had far less issues than with other women stabbing me in the back. I don’t think most men give a shit nor spend any time thinking about their co-workers periods.

      • Le Chapeau

        My career was spent with reporters and editors as a newspaperman. The women I have worked with were reporters. Newspaper work really is different from most other fields in that, at the end of the day the presses have to roll and produce a newspaper. There is virtually no room for interpersonal tomfoolery. The job rules everything and people who cause problems end up pretty quickly seeking other employment. Now I work with teachers at a high school. Pretty much the same deal. They are busy teaching all day. I worked — briefly — in the IT building at a university, and yes, there was a lot of backbiting and shit there, because there was very little pressure to produce anything and plenty of time for the aforementioned tomfoolery. I have been very fortunate in my co-workers over the past 40-some years.

        • Courser_Resistance

          Virtually everyone where I work now in IT (I’m basically an accountant who works in IT) telecommutes. We do everything via email, basically and a couple of tools, namely excel. Talk about zero drama! One of the many things I love about my job. But I’ve talked to so many people who can’t imagine having the discipline to work from home. Or who have and learned to hate it. I don’t know, I’ve been there two years and I haven’t gotten tired of it yet.

          • Le Chapeau

            More power to ya.

  • Zippy W Pinhead
    • Panika MCD
      • Courser_Resistance

        If that appeared in a gym I went to, I’d burn it down. Motivational stuff like that just hits me in a very wrong way.

        • Panika MCD

          I think it’s just an English meme where they’re taking the slogans from the gym and putting them over the drinkers…the slogans, I assume, are over toned bodies.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      I’m off the sauce for a fitness challenge, and I have to admit those are hilarious!

    • Courser_Resistance

      Dude, I’m not even drinking and those piss me off. Had a SAR exercise this morning and my legs ache and my back and I are no longer on speaking terms. Even my feet are bitching at me and my feet never bitch!

      So I want to shoot every person in those pictures and yell, “leave me the fuck alone!”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    absurd video encouraging men who can’t get laid to catfish women on dating sites by pretending to be attractive men and then not showing up for dates, in hopes that women will stop using dating sites to meet men.

    Doing this will accomplish…what? Women’s choices will be so limited that they will gratefully fall into the arms of these fugly misogynists?

    http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Its-Not-Going-to-Happen-Mean-Girls.gif

    • Panika MCD

      I already don’t use online dating sites or apps. how are they going to stop me?

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Women never dated before Tinder.

  • Things I learned leaving the house for the first time in nearly a week:

    The “Classic Rock” station apparently plays Loverboy, which is neither.

    A spider has taken up residence in my car and now I must buy another car.

    • wait! what?

      As opposed to spider-rock and Loverboy taking up residence in your car…

    • Burn the car, solves the spider problem.

      Might want to do the house too. Just in case.

    • eyelashviper

      Spider? That’s nuttin. I’ve had snakes and mice…

      • Snakes and mice don’t bother me, so much. But, spiders on the other hand. . .

      • Rags

        how about waking up to a large cockroach nibbling at a scar on your forehead. Kept me up for a couple days.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      It must be burned. With fire.

    • Serai 1

      That spider is going to prevent far more annoying bugs from taking up residence. Thank it and leave it alone. It has no interest in you at all.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      my biggest freak out yet was the day I left work and didn’t notice a huge 2 foot long fucking lizard hanging onto the rear fender of the car.

      • Doug Langley

        By the way, how did you like Twilight Zone?

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          still watching it! (Seriously, today’s show runners are wimps…season one has i think 32 episodes.

          I get three or four in each night. (REALLY trying to be productive).

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Apropos of spiders and open threads…

      When I was a yoot, I had my very own bunkhouse to live in. I kept it neat but I would get spiders from time to time. Early one morning, about 2 AM I woke up because something was tickling my face. I immediately thought, “oh hell, another spider”, so I reached over and turned on the light. About six inches in front of my face was a very large black widow spider hanging by a thick web. My scream was sufficiently loud to cause all of the coyotes for miles around to start yapping.

      I think it was on it’s way down when I saw it but it decided to turn around and GTFO. It didn’t live very long after that. I didn’t sleep very much after that either.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Or they just wanted to be sure the marriage they couldn’t escape would be fertile

    As far as chaste courtship is concerned, the good old days have been overrated, almost as mythical as the Standish-Mullins-Alden triangle that Longfellow invented. Blame human nature if you like, but for want of a better phrase, hanky-panky was as prevalent among some eighteenth-century folks as it is among some of the twenty-first’s. Beyond doubt, most people stayed strictly within the bounds of propriety, but in the mid to late 1700s, more than one girl in three was pregnant when she walked down the aisle. In parts of Britain, 50 percent of brides were great with child.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Yes, the unwed teen pregnancy rate of the late 1700s i the United States was greater then today. What do these folks believe the Victorians were reacting to?

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      That powdered wig fad was born of the loss of hair caused by syphilis, if memory serves…I might be thinking of merkins.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    you could be a decent guy with a middle-class or even lower-middle class job and you would probably be able to find a reasonably virtuous woman to marry and start a family with

    All you had to do was politely knock up that virtuous woman? Is that the logic here?

    …oh, why am I even trying to make sense out of this crap?

    • Courser_Resistance

      Well of course! How else is he going to infect her brain with his magic sperm? Not to mention trap her into marriage.

      Oddly, that’s what men used to say about women. “She told me she was on the pill. She trapped me”

    • Ants In My Eyes Johnson

      But what if she said another guy did it? A better, less horrible man, who she had also had sex with recently (since these types assume all women are constantly screwing multiple guys)?

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    Seriously, is there anyway to dumb this garbage culture white people have developed around being white and start something new?

    It’s ideas about women and other minorities are fucking absurd.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Unfortunately, they’re probably never going to die out despite never reproducing.

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        Not even by budding?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    If Roe v. Wade can be overturned, it won’t just end a morally questionable, and probably murderous industry — it may save the American sexual marketplace, and Western Civilization with it.

    “American sexual marketplace”? Is our nation supposed to be one huge brothel now?

    And yes, I’m aware that some dudes do hold the opinion that dating is thinly disguised prostitution. We call those guys “embittered broken-hearted romantics.” Thankfully, some of them are cured with the passage of time, acquisition of wisdom and development of friendships with women. Sadly, however, in some cases the condition is permanent, as it appears to be in this dude’s case FFS.

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      There’s no cure for this. It’s becoming a dark part of internet culture. Thankfully, all we’re going to lose are a bunch of basement dwelling, buttery males.

      • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

        I can’t believe it’s buttery.

        • GreenGoldSharpie

          Haha, it’s funny that they actually hate being called that, though.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        you gotta wonder though, were these people always out there and these days can communicate…or is their message spreading like flesh eating bacteria?

        A little bit of both, I suspect.

        • GreenGoldSharpie

          The older versions didn’t develop their counter culture based on computers and right wing politics.

          Gen X gave us stuff like hardcore punk and goth, both counter cultures that were, in part, a rejection of mainstream culture. They were also leftist and artistic and had a clear direction to mature into.

          I don’t see what they guys mature into. Maybe a hardcore white supremacist with severe obsessions with purity?

          But, yeah, think of it as a counter, youth culture maturing out of that initial period where no one noticed them and it makes a lot more sense.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            that bit about punk and goth is giving us too much credit young one!

          • GreenGoldSharpie

            Both hardcore and goth were largely products of the ’80s. :-P Yeah, they built on previous things, but those kids made it their own. So did my generation of early millennials with our indie music of the ’90s and our goth thing. :-)

            Point being, we built identities and our own youth culture, but left room to become functioning adults while also adding in new identities. Being a little skate punk is still a huge part of my identity, but so is being a teacher and a trans woman.

            I don’t see these kids doing that. They’ll either abandon it or swing in hardcore into something dark.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            exactly, 80’s is a little early for us…or do i have my generational eras wrong. It’s possible.
            But i agree with you on the time frame.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            They never mature.

    • Panika MCD

      no. it’s one huge orgy they haven’t been invited to.

  • eyelashviper

    Well, also too, that all Murikin dude Paul Ryan worked hard last week to make sure that all those uppity and persistent womenfolk in Congress (oh the horror) couldn’t bare arms or toes even in the hallowed halls of the Capitol.
    Bring on the burqas, save these manly men from all that free floating and obviously very dangerous ESTROGEN.

    • Panika MCD

      linky? I thought he was only allowed to make rules for dress on the House Floor without a vote. that’s usually how the parliamentary rules work.

      • eyelashviper

        Old dress code, never updated, but of course ignored because it is just stupid. Ryan just had to enforce those all important rules.

        • Panika MCD

          still would like a linky. my understanding was that it was only applied on the House Floor. it’s kind of like TX Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick’s Dannie Goeb’s new rule that we can’t wear jeans on the TX Senate Floor while they’re in session. I have to wait until he leaves the floor to cover desk hearings.

          • eyelashviper

            Don’t have a link to it, but it was on all the news last week.
            This is the response from those uppity women folk:

            https://twitter.com/RepSpeier/status/885886579008561152/photo/1

          • Panika MCD
          • BosGrl

            I’m not sure whether bare arms represent too-casual attire or too dressy in the eyes of the prudes of the House. It’s not women’s fault that men have to wear jackets and ties. Guys should go ahead and change men’s fashion; no need to change ours. Sounds like the guys are jealous.

          • Panika MCD

            it is entirely possible. in the Pink Dome it’s always so cold that no one cares…except for the new jeans on the Senate floor thing. because: Casual Friday! but it’s usually about 59 degrees in there so pretty much no one goes without at least a cap sleeve. State Sen. Donna Campbell usually has a blanky.

          • Jackie Speier is now and always has been a badass.

  • janecita

    Is it me, or Richard Armitage looks better in full Thorin makeup, than without it?
    I’m drinking wine, and pondering the mysteries of the universe. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/626b57f5e0d1372279ed8bcf0eae2f296034643b936540ff61f00ccf102ca095.jpg https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7cc7120a4ece26ac0d9aa79dbb65cdf21bbb431bd6ebb613c3018535e5d0085f.jpg

    • Serai 1

      He’s pretty fine either way, in my book.

      • janecita

        But Thorin, come on! Sexy, dwarf king!

        • Serai 1

          I said he was fine, didn’t I? ;)

    • Doug Langley

      That’s why they have makeup artists.

      • janecita

        That wasn’t a makeup artist, he was a wizard. Thorin was FINE!

    • Panika MCD

      I prefer him without it.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      With. If you’re gonna have a beard, commit to it, dang it!

  • Courser_Resistance

    Robyn, I’m starting to actually look forward to your column every Saturday afternoon. I generally go out Saturday morning and do stuff and am often too tired by the late afternoon to even eat. But I can read your column and make snarky comments with a minimum energy expenditure. I kinda like reading about these crazy man theories.

  • Juan de Fuca

    Have we reached peak male victimization yet? Or maybe this has always been a thing and these folks now feel legitimized because the poster child for self-victimization won the electoral college (allegedly). Speaking of perpetual life victims, there are apparently a few delicate Trumpflakes who bought tickets to Roger Waters’ latest tour and were so shocked it had a political message they walked out of it and will never download another Pink Floyd song again!

    For some fans who went to see Roger Waters perform for his first time in New Orleans in nearly five decades Saturday (July 8), the opportunity to see the former Pink Floyd band-member came with a little political disappointment. As both WBRZ and The Advocate reported, Waters wasn’t shy about sharing his distaste of President Donald Trump.
    The Advocate reported that, during “Pigs (Three Different Ones),” Waters’ onstage display showed various “profane images” of Trump, including one image of him “as a baby, being held aloft by Russian president Vladimir Putin.” At the song’s finale, the display featured the phrase, “Trump is a pig.”

    On Facebook, user said he was “very disappointed” in Waters’ show.
    “I DID NOT pay good money to this A——- disgusting and degrading views of our President n views on immigration n Black lives matter,” Wright wrote. “I wanted to have an evening of good music n it quickly turned sour. I’ve never witnessed this at a concert n I will NEVER SUPPORT Waters or Pink Floyd again.”

    Sure sounds like somebody needs a safe space.

    http://www.nola.com/music/index.ssf/2017/07/roger_waters_new_orleans_trump.html
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5c756767be545dff8e7f4cd93a0107bc5b7e17ec4f86a129a60de0190ba88d7f.jpg

    • Carpe Vagenda

      They went to see Roger Waters perform Floyd music and politics broke out?

      Really?

      • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

        This is my shocked face.

        (This is not my shocked face)

        • Carpe Vagenda

          And the worms said “I was here first”

    • Panika MCD

      in some cultures it used to be that if they didn’t stop bitching you ignored them completely. you just acted like they didn’t fucking exist and they got to see if they could survive on their own. oh, for the old days!

    • chascates

      I’ll happily pay to see it online.

    • The Flaming Carrot

      Apparently the Trumpflakes identified with the masturbatory self-absorption of The Wall. Little did they know, it was just a passing phase, one of Waters’ bad days.

      • Juan de Fuca

        ITISWYDT.

    • First of all, Waters isn’t IN Pink Floyd, and hasn’t been since the early 80s. Second of all, you have apparently never listened to a Pink Floyd album, .

    • 3FingerPete

      There are always Ted Nugent and Victoria Jackson concerts for those guys.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      He’d seen the album cover for ‘The Wall’ and jumped to an amusingly incorrect assumption.

  • Jeffery Campbell

    Often, I’m just embarrassed to have a penis. But it’s a totally gay penis, so maybe I get special dispensation?

    • Uh uh, gay sperm still modify brain cells. Somehow.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        It’s the glitter content. Very high.

        • Jeff, you now owe me one cup of coffee. And a new keyboard. And part of a monitor.

          • Jeffery Campbell

            Happy to supply all of the above!!

  • bookish

    A eulogy for a bright star in mathematics.

    https://apple.news/AhE8YViUsQQKn5wjAmbO3MQ

  • chascates
    • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

      Peggy, please STFU.

    • “Unnamed but a clear focus of Mr. O’Neill’s remarks. . .”

      Uh, if it was unnamed, how is is clear?

    • bupkus231

      I dunno about the rest of this, but I love the author’s characterization of where Noonan’s column leads to:

      So America, here are your marching orders, from General Peggy Noonan:

      1. Go forth and hold demonstrations against mentally ill “lowlifes,” as well as…
      2. Against the “radicalism” of Black Lives Matter, a movement which has…
      3. Made violence by—and against—police a sustained national story, and also…
      4. Why won’t the media cover police violence?

      I’m sorry – alcoholism does not fully describe how inane this “opinionator” has become. Is the WSJ editorial staff so oblivious to this woman’s obvious mental and rhetorical lapses that they continue to publish her – or does she have some kinda unbreakable, eternal contract with them that prevents them from “editorial decisioning” her?

  • aktlib101

    So, let’s recapitulate the features of the perfect woman: not virgin; pregnant by first/only INCEL boyfriend; brain full of sperm DNA; on anti-mentstruating pill; white; paid less than men because moody/flirty/too sexy?. Anything I missed? Like Melanoma Trump?

  • TundraGrifter

    “Back when abortion was a crime…” Huh? How many women got pregnant all by themselves?

    Reminds me of high school for far too long. Girl got pregnant she wasn’t allowed to graduate with her class. The guy who got her that way? Of course he graduated.

    What nonsense!

    • Angela Ruzzo

      My high school class (1974) was the first one that allowed pregnant students to graduate. However…three male students whose parents had taken their families to Europe as Visiting Professors for several years were not allowed to graduate, because in Germany and France they apparently don’t require P.E. classes in high school, and in Missouri if you don’t have 4 years of high school P.E. class credits you don’t get to graduate. So these guys spoke fluent French and German and had traveled the world, but weren’t allowed to graduate. Really stupid. One of them applied to and was accepted by Harvard, even without a diploma, which I think says something positive about Harvard.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    okay, y’all is bein’ funny and smart and sexy again, but I got sweeping mopping and gym to get to.

    Hasta laters!

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      P.S. I’m down 2 lbs in like 2 weeks…45 pounds from my biggest 1 1/2 ago. Let there be much rejoicing!

      • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

        Well Done, Tx! You *Go*!

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          thanks gurl!

      • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

        huzzah!

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        *applauds*

      • Lambsendbeds

        Woo hoo! Time to celebrate with something….um…low cal?

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          beer?

      • Canned Covfefe

        Rejoicing rejoicing rejoicing rejoicing rejoicing rejoicing. And YIPEE also too!

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        Yay.

  • BosGrl

    Maybe women are perceived as moody during their cycles because they are angry about having to pay a monthly female tax of $10-15 for hygiene products that should have a free generic version available at any pharmacy.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Yes, that’s true. But mostly women like me who never wanted to have children are pissed off and moody because every month we have this mess we don’t need or want, so it’s a complete waste of time AND money. Years ago I wanted to take out an ad in the paper saying “1956 model uterus, never been used, free to good home.” If only… Because some women can’t have babies and it really upsets them, and there I was with a perfectly good uterus I didn’t need. Life is so unfair.

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        I’d suggest you talk to the manufacturer, but he’s notorious for not answering complaint calls.

      • BosGrl

        Right? One day uterine transplants will be a thing and you could donate yours like you can donate eggs.

  • TundraGrifter

    “Garbage Men?” Wasn’t that an ’80’s TV sitcom?

    • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

      Movie with Charlie Sheen and Emilio Estevez?

  • Jenny

    How to shot gun wedding:

    1) find a girl

    Well shit, foiled again!

  • Parakeetist

    These people, and I use the term ‘people’ loosely. Sigh.

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    Ever wonder how these people actually function in the real world?

    I used to as well, but then I saw that video of a memelord getting choked out by an Oathkeeper while he defended his Pepes.

  • Panika MCD

    since I might be possessed by irritability and emotional swings:

    Panika period day 1: just took my second dose of neproxen. tatas are a bit tender. sense of smell increased.

    do I seem overly emotional?

    • Sheepshagger

      Ewwwww! How dare you oppress us by mentioning it?

      • Panika MCD

        I could oppress you with photos of my used tampons!

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      Pics of tatas or GTFO.

      • Panika MCD

        scroll down to when I posted that photo of myself and two other members of the Unruly Mob!

        • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

          That was a good pic. I liked the confidence.

          • Panika MCD

            that’s because David Thomas is a good photographer. and: SWTW FTW FOREVER!

      • wait! what?
        • Jonny On Maui

          You MONSTER!

          • wait! what?

            I didn’t spawn it, and it’s a scientific photo of how horses are sterilized.

        • Panika MCD

          a) I can eat jalapenos without going into a coughing fit.

          b) I can eat chili without contracting narcolepsy.

          c) I know that TX BBQ is not supposed to have sauce.

          • wait! what?

            Is that last one bare backing quarter-anally, or…

          • Panika MCD

            oh, I’m just listing reasons I can’t be that person.

            d) I don’t have hairs on my chest.

            e) I have boobs so I must wear a bra while horseback riding–bareback or not.

          • wait! what?

            Wait, I thought he was a gorilla hybrid…

          • Panika MCD

            he’s an alien chimera and he’d like you to give him his rights back!

          • Angela Ruzzo

            And REAL chili is not supposed to have beans, but if you say that in Texas you are dead meat.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            gah, here we go again.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Also, too, a REAL Reuben sandwich does not contain Thousand Island dressing, which is anathema. Check with any New York Kosher Deli.

          • Panika MCD

            no, Texans definitely think that chili with beans is called “hamburger stew”. we made the rules!

            http://www.chilicookoff.com/History/History_of_ICS.asp

        • bookish

          The horse is attractive.

    • Only to a wasp perhaps.

      • Panika MCD

        wasp or WASP? wasps are the irritable, emotional swingers. white, Anglo-Saxon, Protestants don’t always care.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Define ‘overly.’ We’re all a tad testy these days.

      • Panika MCD

        not “ovumly”?

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          ISWYDT

  • Panika MCD
    • Shanzgood

      I NEED THAT

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        Got enough lawn? Some chain, some big schedule 80 or mebbe schedule 120 pipe and yer good to go.

    • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

      But… how are they supposed to get wet?

    • Michael R
      • Lori

        If I looked outside and saw that on my lawn I would be so happy. That is, until I realized I was going to have to clean up moose poop.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Let it sit for 36 hours, it gets firm and you can pick it up with a plastic bag. How do I know this? My brother lives in Vermont, he told me.

      • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

        Goose-geese, ergo moose-meese?

        • Canned Covfefe

          I love meeses to pieces…

          • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

            Are meeses pieces what they leave behind on the lawn? That scene from , “ET” takes on a whole new meaning.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I did exactly the same thing when I was little. I even have home movies to prove it, but I’m not going to post them here.

      • Mr. Blobfish
    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      They just installed one of these at the WH but it ain’t water it’s sprayin’!!

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      They need to retime their swings. They’re not getting cooled off at ALL.

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    As a man, I believe that all women should receive at least $1K/mo hazard pay for having to deal with these assholes.

    Make the MRAs, incels, and other assorted assholes pay for it.

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Some might be able to pay it out of the tech job they sometimes hold until their lack of social skills gets them canned, but I bet most couldn’t pay unless their mom cuts them a loan every month.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        There are plenty of billionaire assholes who can keep the cash moving.

        • GreenGoldSharpie

          That, sadly, is also kind of true.

      • h4rr4r

        I hear this stereotype and I don’t get it. Our IT department is 50% married, the rest seem to have no trouble finding the kind of companionship they like. All range from democrats to communists. The most stereotypical single guy, plays eve, past 30 guy has had one smoking hot girlfriend after the other. Currently with a stunning Chinese postgrad college girl. She will go back to China when she gets her Phd, and he sees that as an upside. Our department has reported folks to HR for what we considered to be malicious incorrect pronoun use. Our most conservative former employee works at Google now, pokes smot and is generally middle of the road. Ike Republican if he was older.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Build the cubicle!

      Make the MRAs pay for it!

    • Jonny On Maui

      A douchebro tax. I like it…

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I think you are brilliant. I will donate money to your campaign for President.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        I’m not ‘presidential’ enough to be president. I could be an executive stooge, though.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          They said that about Harry Truman, and he did pretty well.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Well, I am heading out to do my pick-up artist thing. I am going to take a hammock and a few root beers and a good book down to the lake and lie under the trees and if a woman (or anyone) approaches me we may have a conversation, but if no women approaches me I will be chillin’ like a villain! And that’s okay too.

    S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night!

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
      • Lori

        Let us know how the book is. It’s on my list of books to read and I want to know if I should move it up, down, or off the list.

        • Pierre_de_Fermat

          I’ve been reading the entire series. Nice job with his descriptions of Central Europe and the times.

    • Panika MCD

      I probably wouldn’t approach you because I hate it when people interrupt me while I’m reading.

    • wait! what?
    • Courser_Resistance

      Sounds like a plan! I’ve been toying with getting a hammock for just that reason. I live only a block and a half away from one of the cities biggest parks with a lake. Pretty sure it’s allowed because I’ve seen others do it. Plus the trees are closer together at the lake edge!

    • therblig

      cool. plus, the hammock can work as a net if you decide to bag one and drag her home.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      which lake would that be….

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Lake of the Isles MPLS

  • pgjack

    In many muslim countries women have to go around covered head to toe because the very sight of any part of their bodies might set men into an uncontrollable sexual frenzy. The paragraphs in this piece about women upsetting the workplace remind me of that. Fellas, if the problem exists it is not the fault of women in the workplace it’s the men who can’t control themselves that cause the problems.

    • Vecchioivan

      Okay, let’s take up a collection and send these guys to Saudi Arabia.

    • jesterpunk

      The group Sessions met with wants to go back to the 3rd,4th and 5th century. Sounds like those Christian groups want the same thing the middle eastern countries do.

      • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

        No follower of Islam has ever harmed me. Christians have committed rape, molestation, emotional abuse,and threats of violence against me, told me I am not human, and also too bored me with their warmed-over Sumerian mythology.

        • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

          In my 52 years of being gay, I have never experienced more hatred, bullying and violence from anyone than I have from Christians.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

            *nods* The Muslims I have encountered have been friendly and nice. Almost all the hatred I receive is from “Good Christians”.

        • jesterpunk

          Its projection from them, they want to say “look this other group is worse”. Basically yelling “Squirrel”.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

            Yup. It’s always, always projection from these types.

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      They’re not offended or scared of Sharia Law. They’re fucking jealous of it!

    • Angela Ruzzo

      A relative of mine lived in Saudi Arabia for 10 years. She said she often saw women, veiled from head to toe in black, sitting on a park bench feeding a baby with breasts bared. This did not appear to attract any notice whatsoever. But if a women showed her legs, all hell would break lose and the Religious Police would arrest her. Meanwhile, the men would walk down the street with their long white robes tied up around their waists and their underwear showing, to keep cool. Talk about a double standard.

  • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

    Why do I have the feeling that if Rob Reed had to marry his girlfriend because pregnancy/no abortion, he’d be the first to whine about being “entrapped by a bitch?”

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      Why? Because that is exactly what would happen.

    • RobKanC

      You are assuming he would be able to get a girlfriend.

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    I work with several women engineers. Its not like what sharpe desribed at all. I don’t think that Sharpe person has a job.

    • Sheepshagger

      I work with several woman lawyers. I heard two of them cackling the other day and poked my head in to ask what the gossip was about. “SEX!” said one. I went back to my office. Couple of middle aged broads cutting lose on a fucking anecdote, you leave them to it.

    • bupkus231

      I’d rather work with any of the numerous women engineers I worked with than with Mr, Sharpe. It is patently obvious that he has never worked with any engineers, let alone women. Instead, he is a walking, talking advertisement for the stereotype that ( male, but usually, all ) engineers are socially inept.

    • Courser_Resistance

      My father was a water quality engineer and he mentored several young female engineers over his career. He wasn’t the most socially-adept guy in the world, but having been raised by a single mother himself, he’s always had a very deep respect for women. Plus, he was just a gentleman in every sense of the word.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Key phrase: he was just a gentleman

        Too few of those specimens around these days …

        • Courser_Resistance

          Sadly true, but most of the men I work and train with I’d consider gentleman too. I’m not holding men to some artificial standard. Be nice, polite, know how to make a little small talk among peers. Have good personal hygiene, which kind of goes without saying. You don’t have to be superman, just a decent human being.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I worked in IT for 25 years, and of course 95% of my coworkers were men. The high point of one of my jobs was all the guys gathering in the cubicle next to mine and having farting contests, with points for duration, volume and odorosity. At my last job the 5 guys next to me spent half the day discussing how to hang dry wall, and the other half playing violent video games. I have never ween a group of women Systems Administrators do either. You are right, Sharpe has never had a real job.

  • Zippy W Pinhead
  • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

    welp, done “working”. OK, I really did some work. But now I hear a beer calling my name, and I must go to it. Cheers! Prosit! an all that.

    • Juan de Fuca

      You just reminded me I still have to mow the front yard but I’ve already had my first beer of the day. Oh well, maybe I’ll go have another one while I accomplish the only work I set out to do today.

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        IF YOU DRINK, DON’T MOW

        • Juan de Fuca

          Yeah, I figured it could wait till the morning. ;-)

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I’m drinking a beer, smoking a cigarette, reading Wonkette, and my cat’s butt is resting on my mouse hand again. Good times.

  • Fancy Meau-Faux

    “In that sexual marketplace, nice guys weren’t invisible: they were the only sensible option.”

    I’m pretty sure this dude would still be single in those circumstances because he is an asshole.

    • Sheepshagger

      Even their own understanding of their rational is fucking grotesque: “when women were absolutely fucked over by biology and society we had a chance! Now the playing field is level we’re doomed! It’s not fair!”

      • Claire

        Well, they’re right except for the “It’s not fair” part. When women still had to trade sex for survival, somebody had to draw the short straw and marry the town drunk. Now that we can support ourselves and our own kids, men are finding out just how much of traditional masculinity falls under the heading of “Stupid shit women put up with when they don’t have any other options.”

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      “I’m nice because I do things for you for sex and then seethe on the internet when you don’t fuck me because you see through my shit.”

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        “But I bought you TWO drinks!”

        • Fancy Meau-Faux

          “You ordered the lobster. I should at least get a blowjob!”

      • Angela Ruzzo

        See, these guys are like some of the guys I dated when I was young, and I told them “If you show up at my door wearing a black satin cape and a pirate hat with a rose between your teeth and a boom box playing the fourth movement of “The New World Symphony” then you will get sex. And they all said “Ewww, yuck, I would never do that.”
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9OBf8f55tU

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          What variety of rose? Oh, wait, my black cape’s gabardine, never mind.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I can accept gabardine. The rose can be any color but must smell like a rose, and that might be a problem, since roses today have no scent at all. I find this puzzling…I mean what the hell is the point of a rose if it doesn’t smell like a rose???

  • Master Contrail Program

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cf46e61bf0c15ec4e116f67392d21c1092dbe01ff6617a56635d6cae8daf1df9.jpg To be fair, some sperm aspired to greater things than mere brain manipulation.

    Oh. That’s not a sperm? Then Whatizit?

    As an aside, I am mighty curious how Disqus decides what random part of a sentence to awkwardly place a photo in.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      When you’re writing a comment, Disqus places the image where the cursor is in the comment.

      The more you know ….

      • Master Contrail Program

        Hmm. Seeing that I usually type the comment then add the photo it comes as a surprise the cursor floats back up to the middle of the sentence.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          That has happened to me too. I just figured it’s part of that “Computers are Instruments of Satan” thing.

          • Résistance Land Shark Ω

            “Computers are the tool of Satan”

    • Panika MCD

      that’s Izzy, the 1996 Olympics mascot.

      • therblig

        Jizzy, you say?

      • Master Contrail Program

        Izzy for short. And, lo, there was much snarking around the Metro Atlanta area when that thing was unveiled in ’94.

        • Richard Jokes

          Why is it flatulating glitter stars?

          • Master Contrail Program

            Good question. Sort of makes one wonder what the rejected mascots were like.

  • Jonny On Maui

    to catfish women on dating sites by pretending to be attractive men and then not showing up for dates, in hopes that women will stop using dating sites to meet men.

    I’m going to stop trying to wrap my mind around this as it was giving me a headache. WTF? Do they believe that if women stop using dating sights there’ll be door to basement room door delivery of compliant females?

    • Panika MCD

      I don’t use dating sites and I don’t encounter these shitheads.

      • Jonny On Maui

        Other than personal cruelty to another human I can see no logical positive outcome for this type of behavior. Maybe I’m looking for logic where none exists.

        • Mr. Blobfish

          Revenge and spite are like air and water to these creeps.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Yes, you are looking for logic where none exists. They simply have nothing better to do with their time because they don’t have real lives.

        • Zombishroom

          I think the point is really just to be an asshole. Assholism is punishable by death according to Divine in Pink Flamingos.

        • h4rr4r

          It’s griefing in real life.

  • Panika MCD

    TX House Speaker Joe Straus is our hero.

    “I see no good reason to promote a divisive bathroom bill when it does nothing but harm to the economy, and some very vulnerable people could be harmed,” Straus said.

    http://www.expressnews.com/news/local/article/Straus-daily-11289845.php?t=678ff55ca84b6b00f7&cmpid=twitter-premium

    http://ww4.hdnux.com/photos/62/40/30/13239851/13/1024×1024.jpg

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω
      • Panika MCD

        yep.

      • Panika MCD

        he’s also a Jewish.

        Patrick Goeb once tried to get to him by being all, “It’s so nice to have so many wonderful CHRISTIANS in the TX House!”

        • bupkus231

          Yeah, big deal – he still put the rights of a vulnerable minority behind economic interests.

          I get “baby steps” – but “heroism” is going a bit far….

          • Panika MCD

            you’re not familiar with most of his agenda or his deputies…

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          That actually explains a fair amount … he’s not a fundegelical idiot, ie. he thinks for himself. Sounds like a good person in general. Too bad about the Republican part, but in Texas, that would be understandable as it’s the party that tends to win.

          • Panika MCD

            he believes in conservative economic policies. I respect him and several others more for staying there and fighting the good fight for the soul of their party than to come dilute ours.

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      This dude, for a Republican, has been a super star.

      I’d even vote for him because, at least, he’s not a cruel ass human being and recognizes us trans folks as human.

    • Richard Jokes

      Guess he realized that the wrong side of history comes at you fast these days.

      http://www.salon.com/2017/03/14/pat-mccrory

      • OrG

        This is about money.

        • Richard Jokes

          Sure, I just like laughing at FAILED Pat McCrory any chance I get

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            I just posted the link to the WaPo story about McCrory’s job hunting woes. Karma, bitch.

        • Panika MCD

          of course it is, but Straus also has transgendered Texans in his district and he’s met with those families because he’s not an asshole.

        • GreenGoldSharpie

          We have a similar situation here in Illinois ith Rauner, or at least we might given he hasn’t moved to veto HB 1785.

          Business Republicans know this social conservative bullshit is bad for the bottom line, and they, you know, may actually have some human emotions besides hate and spite.

          I don’t like his fiscal plans, but I’ll take them over a Pence any day.

      • Panika MCD

        he’s been opposed to the bill this whole time because it’s not business friendly. many major businesses have started Keep Texas Open for Business against the bill and for better legislation regarding public schools, healthcare and infrastructure.

        http://www.keeptxopen.org/

        70+ businesses include: Amazon, AMD, American Airlines, Apple, Capital One, Cisco, Dell, Dow, eBay, Facebook, Google, Hilton, HP, IBM, Intel Marriott, Microsoft, Samsung, TPG, United Airlines and Visa.

        • Richard Jokes

          Yeah, the business community has been surprisingly willing to putbtheir money where their mouths are.

          • Panika MCD

            and they’ve been publicly opposed to school vouchers…!

          • Richard Jokes

            Oh, I did not know that. They’re the ones who need to be able to hire these kids when they graduate though.

          • Panika MCD

            that’s what they tell us!

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          So, nobody important or influential. /s

          • Panika MCD

            TPG is a HUGE deal. not just in TX, but everywhere.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            Thus the /s.

          • Panika MCD

            I know, I was just saying that because most people aren’t aware of TPG’s import.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            Ah, understood.

    • Serai 1

      Not all Republicans are monsters.

      • Phried Ω

        Objection. assumes facts not in evidence. He said it harms the economy and didn’t suggest which people it hurts.

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        There’s always a few outliers.

  • Zippy W Pinhead
    • bookish

      Donald’s inauguration crowd?

      • David Pseudonym

        Naw, there’s too many people.

        • Reximus

          But they got the racial mix about right

        • Lori

          Did we ever see pictures of what Moscow looked like on January 20th? You’d expect more people to have shown up there since the Russians have more reason to be pleased by Donnie’s move into the White House than USians did.

  • Serai 1

    Have you seen this? Bill Clinton and GWB do an interview together, during which – among other things – they mock Twitler. It’s a pretty good interview, actually.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hUOUNZrbBg

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      This is well worth time … Clinton makes a comment about his generation being last before television: he was brought up to listen and converse. These are skills that are lost with the current folks occupying the White House.

      • Serai 1

        Yep. Most of the evil shit that went down was their doing.

    • Panika MCD

      thank you for sharing this!

      • Serai 1

        You’re welcome!

  • Reximus
  • Zombishroom

    They seem like nice guys. Weren’t they promised 40 acres of pussy at birth? What’s wrong with America when a horrible person can’t get laid?

    • Count Awesome

      They’re on their own personal jihad, but a major difference is they think God promised them pussy in this lifetime.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I don’t even want to live in a country where a guy who hates women can’t find a beautiful woman to marry his mean ass.

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

    Why can’t these guys just become internet porn addicts like the rest of us?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      sticky keyboards?

      • Count Awesome

        They should clean their keyboards and monitors regularly.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          That’s the problem- they think that’s a woman’s job

          • Count Awesome

            “Mooooom, why haven’t you cleaned the spunk off the computer!?”

          • Résistance Land Shark Ω

            ewww … I just ate.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            “Sorry son, that’s why we bought you your own and put it in the basement with you. The rest of the family was getting grossed out when they went to use the upstairs computer and the mouse was stuck to the mousepad”

          • Count Awesome

            “It’s all my job then?!? Just like I’m supposed to clean up the [redacted] off the ceiling!??”

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            The funny part is- most of them aren’t aware of how many ways there are to check browsing history even if you delete it, or the fact that the URL bar will give you away when you type in certain letters like P or X and it autocompletes the web address

          • Count Awesome

            I’d rather not know their porn viewing habits.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Neither would I. It’s especially awkward at work, since I’m the de facto IT guy and sometimes have to see the MRU lists or firewall security logs to fix something one of them broke. I just keep quiet and am thankful I do most of that stuff after hours.

          • Count Awesome

            You must see things you’d prefer not too. Props to you because you sound like a true professional.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    “Back when abortion was a crime, you could be a decent guy with a middle-class or even lower-middle class job and you would probably be able to find a reasonably virtuous woman to marry and start a family with.”

    Back when abortion was a crime, the average CEO made more than the average worker, but luckily the CEO’s pay has increased 937% since 1978, while the average worker’s pay has increased 10%. Maybe the problem has to do with economics. Maybe all the virtuous women want to marry the CEO? Maybe the middle class should be making more money. How can we solve that problem? By electing a buffoon who wants to give the wealthy another huge tax cut! Thanks, Stupid Americans!

    • Count Awesome

      He also feels he can grope whoever he wants because he’s “rich”.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Which is why Donnie Wee Dingus is their idol.

    • Panika MCD

      also too: back when abortion was a crime there were anywhere from 200,000 to 1.2 million abortions per year and about 2,700 of the women died each year from complications. it has fallen to 0.4 per 100,000 simply experiencing complications due to the procedure and the risk of death for legal abortions is basically nil.

      https://www.guttmacher.org/gpr/2003/03/lessons-roe-will-past-be-prologue

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Please, let’s not muddy the water here with facts or logic!

        • Panika MCD

          fuck. I forgot we were supposed to limit ourselves to “common sense” and doctrine.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Feelings! We have to go on our feelings!

          • Panika MCD

            but…I thought that was a bad thing in the workplace…the capitols are work places…I has a confuse.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Don’t overthink it.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Actually, these asshats have a real Madonna/Whore Complex and there is no pleasing them. They are unhappy that women won’t have sex with them (whores) but if a woman would have sex with them, that woman would no longer be virtuous (whores). You can’t win.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Luckily, nobody wants to please them, anyway. I think their REAL complaint is that they can’t date supermodels. I have no doubt they could find a woman to date, they just wouldn’t want her, because she’s not pretty enough. Sure, THEY are hideous, but should that deprive them of their god given right to date Gisele Bundchen? I think not.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Well, that’s just stupid. Supermodels don’t look like supermodels all the time. They have probably passed models on the street on a non-working day and didn’t look at them twice, because they’re on their own time.
          The photos are stylists and makeup artists and hairdressers. Botox, starvation and hair weaves. Lots of judgment and rejection that makes them nutty. And then there’s Photoshop.

    • Serai 1

      In the era he’s talking about, the tax rate for the richest went up to 91%.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        AKA “The Good Old Days.” I’d like to see that tax rate return, especially now that the richest Americans are SOOOOO freaking rich.

        • Serai 1

          Absolutely. It’s time they paid their fair share.

  • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

    OT – I wanted to share with Everypony a channel I found on youTube:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OmCzZ-D8Wdk

    “Vintage Space”. Amy is awesome, she’s an historian with a passion for the early space program. Her videos are really fun and informative, and she’s Gorgeous and adorable as well. If you like NASA, astronauts, and aerospace, give her videos a look. :)

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I’ve seen that channel before- good nerdy fun

      • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

        Isn’t it? :) She has a couple of really neat videos about the USAF Dyna-Soar program that are especially good.

    • suziq

      Whew, at first glance I thought she had a sleeveless top on! But now I see it has some little sleeves so it should be okay. But dodged a bullet there, bare arms are BAD (but bearing arms of course is GOOD).

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      bookmarked for later!

      • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

        :) I think you’ll like her.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          i like old NASA stuff…i have probably asked this, but have you seen “Failures is not an option.” Just in case, it’s a documentary about all the nerds (okay, engineers) on the apollo missions.

          Very good. Full length for free on netflix.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

            I have seen it, thank you. :) I need to watch it again, tho.

          • CripesAmighty

            Yeah it was originally on the History Channel when they actually did history.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I’ve watched this channel before. My favorite episode is “The Real Six Million Dollar Man”. Bruce Peterson’s crash was actually used in the opening credits of the TV show. He survived.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAwde1LwZdI

      • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

        Yeah, the Lifting Bodies were a bit tricky to fly.

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        I love those things. They might have been nightmares to control, but they were a more elegant solution to the problem of re-entry from space than just sticking bathroom tiles on an airplane.

  • David Pseudonym

    Alrighty, then. These idiots – first, a penis isn’t a magic wand, despite what some of us that have them might think: it doesn’t magically change a woman (or another man, for that matter) just by the use of it, despite what obsolete desert manuscripts decree.

    Especially if it isn’t used very well.

    Speaking of which, loss of virginity isn’t necessarily painful – usually a woman has long since had her hymen rupture, since they’re not relegated to genteel pursuits, forced to ride side saddle and would never wear trousers anymore – just need plenty of foreplay and a gentle, ah, touch.

    Sorry. I’m preaching to the choir here, I know, just can’t help getting on my soapbox about this.

    Could’ve been worse, I suppose – you should hear my rant on what’s being called ‘vaginal orgasms’ (they’re actually full orgasms, dammit, and the reason why the average woman has never had one is because they’re with the average man)

    Okay, I’ll shut up now.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I feel sorry for women who have never had an orgasm, or who expect that the only way to achieve orgasm is with P-n-V sex. I also don’t understand men who are disturbed by women who practice self-love.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Happily, I don’t think I’ve met a woman who hasn’t had an orgasm or has that expectation. As for self-love, if it make you happy, go for it.

    • Panika MCD

      I find the ones that can hit my g-spot quite magical…they just don’t change my personality.

    • Mr. Blobfish
  • Ω cynmac will never surrender

    I am through with Men who are Garbage, having found my sweetie. Comet TV has Soylent Green AND Godzilla v. Mothra on tonight. That is all.

    • wait! what?

      It all makes sense; soylent green IS Godzilla…

      • Bobathonic

        Gamera is filled with meat.

    • Duke

      I like the Kaiju.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      I know what I’m doing when I’m going home!

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      At the same time? I would watch the FUCK out of that.

      • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

        “Godzilla, it is over! You must forgive!”:

        “ReeaaOOORRR”.

        “Dumb Lizard.”

        Final Wars is an underrated classic, IMHO.

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          Agreed. Hrrm, I should watch it again.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

            <Gotengo is the coolest ship, and Don Frye was awesome as her skipper. :D

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Soylent Green is on now, followed by GvM.

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          And yet here I am, Wonketting like an idiot.

  • Duke

    Of course, these are sad people who are posting to the web when other people are enjoying a social life.

    Oh… Wait.. I’ve got something to do. Yes. I Do. It’s very social and in real life. With, like, humans.

    • Bobathonic

      From Canada.

      • Duke

        Yeah. Thanks. It’s the details that make it believable. I mean, how’d you know?

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    taking a quick break before gym – if you’re so inclined there’s a “no violence, world peace, everybody gets a puppy” asshole who (faslely) accused dok of endorsing drone strikes.

    He has all the philosophical, rhetorical, and practical wisdom of a college freshman whose read Locke.

    He’s in the comments at ” How Do Rightwingers React To Trump Jr.’s Emails? With Calls To Arrest Obama, Of Course! ”

    You know what to do.

    <..>

    • Juan de Fuca

      Let Dok drop The Banhammer of Loving Correction from a drone?

      • Count Awesome

        I think Dok prefers dropping the banhamner of loving correction himself. Must be cathartic in many ways.

        • wait! what?

          The candygram/land shark approach is the most fun, though.

        • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

          If I had a banhammer
          I’d banhammer in the morning.
          I’d banhammer in the evening
          All over this blog.

    • Panika MCD

      when did that happen?

      I mean, the ethics of using drones is definitely a touchy subject, but there are reasons they are better than putting boots on the ground.

      • Juan de Fuca

        There are many ethical questions, legit ones about the use of drones. But I’ve gotten caught up arguing with that particular commenter before and it usually goes nowhere fast. I think he just comes here to argue.

      • Alt-dog

        And better than dropping megatons of ordinance like we used to do.

    • msanthropesmr

      Doc endorses drone strikes!
      OF PONIES!@!!!!!11!!!

    • Jesse

      Consider him snarket bombed.

  • Sheepshagger
    • wait! what?

      So, they’re full metal jerkoffs?

      • Count Awesome

        Each one is a mad, sexually frustrated “Army of One”.

        • wait! what?

          Silent “n” in front of “one?”

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      What caliber of votes does that take?

      • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

        7.62X54mm it’s a SVD Dragunov Designated Marksman Rifle, also sometimes called a “Balalaika”.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    OMG! This hammock by the lake thing is the best thing ever! I’m lying here with the cool breeze, light folk music, watching the canoers and the paddle boarders on the lake and the red-winged blackbirds song. Life is good! I wish you all were here.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Are there beverages?

      • BeachBum

        Does the pope shit in the woods ?

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      Where’s your lake? I literally just got back from my place in Eagle River, WI where we spent the first 2 weeks of our retirement with our 2 oldest grandkids. I want to turn around and go right back but chores on the homestead are required.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      I’m on my way. Scootch over a little so there’s room for me and all the rest of us too when we get there.

    • BeachBum

      I wish we, or at least me, were there too. Soundzs a wunnerful !

  • rocktonsam

    If only I had that line years ago. Back then cocaine did the trick faster.

  • Jesse

    Donovan Sharpe is one good reason men should be paid less than women.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Donovan Sharpe is a good reason abortion should remain legal.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Drublic Jr. is back from Kenya and took me and my mom to an early dinner at our favorite southside Mexican restaurant. When Jr. was ready to order, the waitress-who’s probably about my age-said “#8?”, because that’s his favorite dish. My mom told her “he knows what he likes, he’s been coming here since he was an infant”. The waitress laughed and said, in Spanish, “yes, I remember”. There’s a reason we love this place.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I have a local Indian restaurant like that. It’s so cool, the owner knows my name and asks after my relatives, and I ask after hers.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Nice, innit? The family that owns the place feel almost like family to me. I’ve been going there since I was a young man, so when I first took Jr. there as a baby, they would hold him and coo over him and bring him special treats.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          That’s lovely. But you made me remember something sad. Back in 1983 a very nice, very smart, very sweet Iraqi guy who was a Ph.D. student in my town opened a Middle Eastern restaurant, which was very popular, and I knew him personally, and we had many good times at the restaurant. Then in 1987 he graduated and went back to Iraq, and we wrote to him quite often. After a few years he wrote that we shouldn’t write to him, as it would cause him trouble with the government, and then we lost touch. He got a job as principal at a school in Baghdad, and the school was bombed in the First Gulf War, and now I don’t know if he is alive or dead. I think about him quite often.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            How sad. These things are tragic enough, but when you know real people/friends who suffered, it puts it in a very different category of tragic. Let’s hope he survived.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            That is the whole point behind international educational exchange programs, such as the Fulbright program. If people get to know someone from another country, or get to live in another country for a while, then they won’t hate that country or its people. It is the antithesis of dehumanization of the enemy. And the thing is, it really works.

      • Yr. Gma

        Now I want Rogan Josh.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    World’s shortest book alert: A ‘Spiritual Biography’ of Donald Trump Is in the Works. Seriously.
    By Ed Kilgore

    “The prospectus for The Faith of Donald J. Trump indicates Brody isn’t going to entirely back down from this assessment:

    In part, the authors argue, President Trump won over evangelicals not by pandering to them, but by supporting them and all their most important issues without pretending to be something he’s not. He has surrounded himself with believers who think he is the one guiding figure who can return us to the traditional values — hard work, discipline, duty, respect, and faith — that have long been the foundation of American life and truly make America great again in all ways.
    It almost sounds as though Brody and Lamb will suggest Trump achieved a spiritual life by acquisition, like a fine resort property. That is indeed an interesting theological proposition, consistent with the Christian right tendency to cast capitalism as a divinely ordained economic system. Otherwise this could be a very brief book, with a lot of photos.”

    Yeah, I’m sure Jesus would TOTALLY be a capitalist if he were alive today. Probably would run a hedge fund that specialized in fossil fuels.

    http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2017/07/a-spiritual-biography-of-donald-trump-is-in-the-works.html

    • Michael R

      To understand the ” spirituality ” of Donald Trump read :

      People of the Lie: The Hope for Healing Human Evil ( 1983 )
      by M. Scott Peck

      ” People who are evil attack others instead of facing their own failures “

    • Juan de Fuca

      In part, the authors argue, President Trump won over evangelicals not by pandering to them, but by supporting them and all their most important issues without pretending to be something he’s not.

      But it was…it was the opposite of that!

      *head desk*

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      2 Corinthians Libelz!111!1

  • Komsumverweigerer Ron

    Despite having only one and a half hands to work with, I finally finished installing the guard on my lethal old table saw. It’s not the gorgeous Art Nouveau aluminum casting that was an optional extra when it was new – it is, I think off an old Rockwell table saw. But thanks to some epoxy and a couple of 3/16″ roll pins, it’s in place, solid, and will almost certainly reduce incidences of finger removal. Almost certainly. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e031d0c05edd3e875ab2fde9e088f6f721508baa857c731c6e00cbb657c9eeec.png https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1c7043b389eef387482758b122adc1f7799da41613b06b74a2736620fdbb139c.png

    • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

      Congrats! :)

    • OutOfOrbit

      Ain’t clickin on missing digets.

    • BeachBum

      Looks very effective to me.

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        I’d be happier if it were made of something a little stronger than plastic. Like adamantium.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      A guard on a table saw? What a novel concept.

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        Think there’s a patent in there for me?

    • weejee

      Here, try some of these along with the guard. My best man is base-8 (digits) because of one of those. Featherboards, too, also.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1f3b4e219782f141c2a1509d76b1aee0908ee021ef571bc0e58492fe979a732f.jpg

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        I made a pusher like the one at the bottom. That was what broke, precipitating the accident. Next one’s gonna be metal, dammit.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Although I really covet a table saw, they scare the bejesus out of me. I like my fingers too much to chance it.

      • weejee

        Have you considered a $aw$top. Spendy, but you fingers will love it.

        • Martini Ambassador 🍸

          Woah! Way cool!

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          Heard of ’em. My fingers do love the idea – it was the hand surgeon who told me about them, I assume he sees a LOT of this sort of accident – but my wallet is shaking its head and going, nope, not gonna happen.

      • Juan de Fuca

        They scare me too and have since wood shop in high school. I’ll use any excuse to use my miter or circular saw. I also fortunately have a good neighbor with a table saw when required and it only costs a beer for him to use it.

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        Which is why villains tied their victims to them.

    • Alt-dog

      I see the problem. The fence is on the wrong side of the blade. :-)

      Seriously though, that looks like an old cast iron classic. Congrats on the safety upgrade.

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        It’s swapped sides more often than… err, I can’t answer that without unearthing some ancient national stereotype. But not that you mention it, that WOULD have made it easier to install.

    • Covfefe

      I think installing a finger guard is a good idea.

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        So do what’s left of my fingers.

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      I have a guard just like that…….somewhere.

      • Alt-dog

        Mine is where it belongs… on the shelf under the extension table. :-)

        JK, I use it whenever it’s possible.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Good for you! Mr Hontas lost a tip and a 1/4 to a dato blade and wound up selling his equipment.

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        Sadly I don’t have that choice. If I don’t cut the wood for my garden railway no-one else will. At least, no-one who doesn’t drink his breakfast.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Totally OT: I’m watching Soul of a Banquet, about cinese-american restaurant pioneer Cecilia Chiang (if you’re not a foodie you’re more likely to have heard of her son, PF). It’s from Wayne Wang, and it’s magic in long stretches, while she silently creates a banquet meal or breaks your heart talking about returning to find out what happened to the family she left behind during the cultural revolution.

    And then screeeeeeech goes the needle and here’s Alice Waters to tell another anecdote about herself. Because god forbid Alice Waters should have a single unexpressed thought about food, and this is as good a time as any, right?

    And then. Oh. My. God.

    Cecilia Chiang: talks about leaving without the ashes of her beloved father because he was mass-cremated and she didn’t want mixed ashes.

    Ruth Reichl: It was a crime what the chinese government did to classical fine dining and more young chinese american chefs should have to learn old school cooking because Something Has Been Lost yadda yadda the peasant tradition wa wa wa, wawawawaaaaaah….

    For the love of god, shut the fuck up, Ruth Reichl. No. Really. Unless you have something growthful to say to your twitter followers about the ethereal nature of your morning yogurt, cease speaking immediately.

    My fellow white women. Yeesh.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I know that when I think of the horrors of the Cultural Revolution and the Great Leap Forward, classical Chinese fine dining is the first victim that comes to mind.

      • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

        Right? What comes to my mind is a former colleague and what he went through. He was sent out into the sticks as part of all that, and could have spent his life out there. I asked him how he ever got into college (he’s an EE). Answer: “Mao died.”

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I can talk about this now, because they are safe. There was this Syrian family in Dallas – parents, 4 children under 12 – who crossed the border from Mexico, they’ve been waiting 4 months for visas, but were about to be picked up by INS and sent back to Turkey, so they drove to upstate New York to walk across the border to Canada, where they have a cousin. They needed a place to stay overnight and a place to stash their car, which the cousin (Canadian citizen) would cross the border to pick up in a few days. And I found them a place to stay with some wonderful Christian people in NY, and they walked across the border last night in the dark, and Canada welcomed them with open arms and gave them beds in a very nice shelter and food and free legal advice and a free taxi to Montreal where their relative lives. Long live Canada!

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Wow, what an ordeal! Glad they have a safe haven. Sad that the US no longer is one.

      • weejee

        Ture that Martini, but I can’t upfist it.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        The whole thing was so evocative of “The Handmaid’s Tale” that it sent shivers down my spine.

        • Dellajmoore

          Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !pj153d:
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          !pj153d:
          ➽➽
          ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash443FinderPlazaGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::!pj153l..,…..

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Bless you. No snark.

    • Picabo

      So we’re back to the Underground Railroad. Will we ever learn?

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Yes, we are. See my reply to janecita above.

    • janecita

      You have the right name, because you are an angel! Good job!

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Well thanks, but all I did was go on the Internet and find some contacts. There is a college in that town, I got names of the International Student Advisors in the college, and they gave me names of locals who help these people out. Apparently there is a steady stream of refugees crossing into Canada from Plattsburg, NY. It is a regular “Underground Railroad” as another person mentioned below in the comments.

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          Every little bit helps. Think of yourself as a guide.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      ALL my respect to you and hopes for their successful lives in Canada! Who fucking ever thought there would need to be a sequel to the underground railroad in our lifetimes? Canada: still saving folks from American cruelty after all these years!
      *I officially forgive them for Nickelback and The Biebs*

      • Angela Ruzzo

        They have a lot to answer for in how they treated children of their Native Americans, but I can overlook it now.

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          So do we. But at least that is a part of the national conversation now. Our conversation seems to back about how we can do even worse things to people.*
          See: Ted Cruz

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          We know. There’s not many things in our history that we’re ashamed of, but that’s one of ’em.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            We did worse, so I can’t throw stones. I was re-watching the movie “Oranges and Sunshine” a few days ago…every country has a lot of things to be ashamed of.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            True. The question is always, what do we do about it?

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Admit it, talk about it, teach kids about it, and never do it again.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Hey, how’re you doin’? I saw on the news last night that your neck of the woods is seriously soggy. I hope you, and the entire O’hontas family are out of harm’s way!!!

    • SayItWithWookies

      Great for Canada — sad for the US, in many ways. At least refugees aren’t getting frostbite and risking exposure like they were in the winter when this migration first started.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        The system is much improved. As soon as they got across the border they were met with friendly Canadian police and taxis, who drove them to the shelter free. It’s very organized.

    • As a Canadian, i welcome these new friends, despite being nowhere near Montreal. Very happy everyone is safe

      • Doug Langley

        Maybe we should give you the Statue of Liberty.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Oh, no, not me, I just made contacts. The people in Plattsburg, NY and Canada deserve all the credit.

          • Doug Langley

            I meant Canada.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            That is a very good idea.

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          We could put it in Toronto Harbour. Given how often Toronto subs for NYC in movies it’d save some CGI work.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Thank you, Canadian. The father was a baker in Syria, I’m sure he will bring great joy to people somewhere in Canada with his culinary skills. I am assured that his cardamom shortbread has no equal.

        • That sounds amazing. If he also makes a variety of Baklava, i would that happiest Canadian eva!

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Ah, yes, Baklava is very good. But my favorite is Mahmoul – small shortbread pastries filled with dates, pistachios or walnuts. Yumm!
            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/112fdd2cda2d297e8f3ccf9ea67e64300c68377cc02444a681015ec0a4050a23.jpg

          • Count Awesome

            Good baklava can be very hard to find. It’s either to syrupy or too cloyingly sweet.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            You are correct. It is best when it is very fresh, then it is neither.

          • One of my coworker’s mother in law made like a huge pile for the coworker’s family but she brought it into work. I ate like half of it

          • Count Awesome

            I love baklava. I have a Syrian market across the street from me and they stock really good baklava around Christmas time. It’s not drenched in syrup so the pastry still crisp and the flavor of the nuts is still very present.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            You should try it when it just came out of the oven. This is to die for.

          • I made it once. It was so good, but so much work

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I tried to make Napoleons once, when I was in high school, for a French Club Festival, and it took so much work rolling out the pastry that my arms hurt for 3 days. I didn’t know then that you can buy Puff Pastry. Live and learn.

          • Count Awesome

            Puff pastry is actually fairly easy to make. It’s more about working with it at the proper time and temperature. Bo Friberg’s, author of “The Professional Pastry Chef” states that he always insists that anyone that may work for him has to make puff pastry for him before they are hired so he can see how they manage their time as well as their skill. He also insists that they make pate a choux.

          • I can make Choux. I have not attempted puff pastry

          • Count Awesome

            Have you heard of “blitz puff”?

          • Nope. I am excellent at standard pastry though. I can make the recipe my family uses from memory

          • Count Awesome

            “Blitz puff” is where you make a standard pastry dough but leave butter chunks around the size of a quarter and then do the turns as you would puff pastry. It mimics puff pastry very closely.

          • Ah. The standard pastry i use is lard based

          • Count Awesome

            That will work. It’s actually easier to sheet than something butter based because it is more pliable at colder temperatures than butter is. I’ve also made true puff pastry using combinations of butter and bacon fat as well as butter and bleu cheese.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I did try that one time, but the rolling pin and I became fast enemies, and the next day my arms hurt from shoulder to elbow. This was strange because I played the violin at the time and I thought my arms were in pretty good shape. After that I bought frozen Puff Pastry, and it took me two tries before I figured out that you have to let it thaw to room temperature, and then roll it vigorously before cutting. It’s touchy stuff.

          • Count Awesome

            I’ve had that too and that’s why I love it. It’s hard to find a bakery that actually will make their baklava though.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            So you’re saying we need more Syrian baker immigrants, right? Please write a letter to the INS, because they need to know this. We need to march on INS headquarters and DEMAND FRESH BAKLAVA!!!! It is our right as American citizens!!! (tee hee)

          • Count Awesome

            I live in Burbank, CA and there is a very high Armenian, Syrian, and Lebanese population that I am sure is very friendly to all new immigrants of said nationalities, but none of the middle eastern bakeries make their own Baklava or Napoleans. It’s more cost effective for them to buy it from someplace that mass produces it.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            It is the same in St. Louis and Chicago. But I have eaten home-made…it was glorious.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            WANT

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          A baker? In Montreal? My gods, he couldn’t have found a better city to practice his trade in if he’d researched it beforehand.

    • Panika MCD

      damn. wish they had gone to city hall.

      https://www.dallasnews.com/news/immigration/2017/02/07/tensions-erupt-sanctuary-cities-dallas-county-commissioners-court

      it’s worth mentioning that Dallas Co. really doesn’t receive detainer requests for those who are not Priority 1 or Priority 2 designated offenders–which is the worst of the worst.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        That’s interesting, thanks for the link, I will share it with others.

        • Panika MCD

          again: most TX cities are BLUE (as is the border) and 74% of Texans live in them. this is why we’re in court for the umpteenth time since 2003 over gerrymandering.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Here is a photo from Montreal. The two youngest children are exhausted and sleeping. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/72b138a33777802c753ed5049c8bdbd995e09d7bb37137809197ae9aad61005f.jpg

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Damn good thing the tracks from the old Underground Railroad are still working. Good for you.

    • Fartknocker

      Thank you for your kindness.

    • HooverVilles

      WOW, NIIIIICE!

    • The Librarian

      So happy to hear this!!

    • calliecallie

      Such a great thing you did! Thank you!

  • Picabo

    Malcolm Nance does an epic take down of a Trump apologist.
    https://twitter.com/TAPSTRIMEDIA/status/886247495814311936

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I just watched that. It was a beautiful thing. “Let me give you a hand here, because you really need one right now”.

      • CripesAmighty

        Poor shmuck. He shoulda known better than to tangle with Malcolm. It never ends well.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      “Coincidences take a lot of planning.”

      That is a keeper. We should be making memes, posters, bumper stickers, samplers, stained glass windows, etc with those words.

  • Ryan Denniston

    I don’t get it. Isn’t the coworker you’re going to seduce the same person as the coworker whos tails you will ride up the ladder? Also too, why would anyone want to be in management?

    • Count Awesome

      Being in management means you get paid a lot less for the hours you spend working overall.

      • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

        Maybe true in retail or food service. Very not true in corporate land.

        • Count Awesome

          Too true in food service.

  • Serai 1

    Here’s exactly what Twitler’s after with his Voter Fraud Commission:

    Almost 3,500 Coloradans cancel their voter registrations over fraud commission fears

    Self-censorship is the most insidious and harmful kind.

    • RobKanC

      Hopefully some of these are libertarian idiots who vote for Gary Johnson.

      • Serai 1

        No, not hopefully. This is fucking BAD. It doesn’t matter who it is, we need EVERYONE to vote. We’re not going to solve anything by forcing people to stay away from the ballots out of fear.

        • RobKanC

          I know.. But this is a bit of an over reaction though.

          • CripesAmighty

            Dunno–as this descends into an authoritarian state, and legal constraints fall by the wayside, Dump will use this to target, harass, ‘enemies’ with no restraint.

          • Serai 1

            Easy for a guy to say. I would bet money the majority of the people cancelling their registrations were women – probably women with children. There are some fucked-up violent people out there, some of them salivating to “get back” at anyone who isn’t on their side.

        • Panika MCD

          if you simply re-apply rather than changing your address, you should be able to get a new VUID. but to really fuck them up, we’d all have to move and get new SSNs.

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          During the recall of Scott Walker someone decided it would be just great if the published images of all the petitions on the interwebs. Name, address and signatures of everyone who signed the petition for recall were there for all the world to see. I Google my name because I was applying for jobs and guess what came up first?

          • Serai 1

            Now that Twitler’s invigorated the violent, the perverse, and the hateful, it’s even more fun to realize your personal information is out in the open!

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            We do live in interesting times. My identity and work is visible enough that I’ll probably be in the first round up for the reeducation camps. They’ll get their money’s worth out of me until then.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      The GOP is loving this

    • Panika MCD

      that’s one way to get a new VUID. I may well just re-apply without my VUID to get a new one.

  • Grokenstein

    vaccines cause autism
    the earth is flat
    sperm DNA causes changes to a woman’s brain

    AUGH
    AUUUUUUGH
    WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      Sperm DNA polluting their brains..QED

    • janecita

      Everything.

    • RobKanC

      AOT,K

    • RobKanC

      We now live in a culture that celebrates ignorance. The internet which was supposed to spread knowledge now spreads ignorance and hate. We have, as a species, reached our zenith. There is nowhere to go but down.

      • Count Awesome

        Ignorance and porn.

        • Parakeetist

          And sports updates.

          • Count Awesome

            “I just need to know how my Dodgers are doing!”
            –Spoken In a Brooklyn accent around 1943.

        • Everrett Fanuelli

          And stock quotes

      • CripesAmighty

        Yup. Only in America: technology designed to amplify knowledge is instead used to weaponize stupid.

        • OutOfOrbit

          Well said.

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        We started down this path over 30 years ago with the election of Ronald Reagan

    • Rasilom
    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Weak, terrified men, trying to assert some kind of dominance over women. “My sperm CHANGES YOUR BRAIN!!!!!” it’s utterly pathetic.

  • chascates
    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Wonder if he’s been in the locker room to inspect the contestants yet?

    • Juan de Fuca

      And on his golf course. The USGA couldn’t find a better course to play on when Trump’s course is rated around #15 of the top golf courses in New Jersey?

      No conflict of interest here, so siree.

      • RobKanC

        conflict of interest. Whats that?

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          When someone else’s interests conflict with his, I think.

      • Panika MCD

        it’s not a 10?

    • Panika MCD

      why? why will we be subjected to him talking about who is and is not a 10 on the court? why can’t he just fucking play golf?

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        BECAUSE IT’S AT HIS FUCKING CLUB, so he gets ALL THE FUCKING MONEY, especially if more people come. HIS FUCKING CLUB. You would have been able to guess this given a few more minutes, I’m sure.

        • Panika MCD

          boo.

  • janecita

    One of those immigrants, from one of those terrorists countries died today. RIP Maryam.

    Mathematics Genius Maryam Mirzakhani Has Died At 40 – BuzzFeed News
    https://apple.news/AhE8YViUsQQKn5wjAmbO3MQ

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Brilliant mathematician dies too young of a horrible disease. That’s a tragedy.
      The usual suspects slagging on the predominant religion in her home country. That’s farce.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I’m in the middle of reading “The Glass Universe” by Dava Sobel, about the young women astronomers at Harvard in the late 1800’s.

      • OutOfOrbit

        They were amazing, what they did was amazing.

      • janecita

        Is it good? I haven’t read any good books lately.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          It’s very good…she’s a really great writer, and this is an obscure subject I previously knew absolutely nothing about.

          • janecita

            I only know about them because of Cosmos. Dr. DeGrasse Tyson spoke about them.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Available at your local library. I recommend it.

          • janecita

            I just put it on my library list.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Is being able to order/reserve library books online the best use of the internet ever, or what?

          • janecita

            It’s awesome!

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            Yes, but I love to go in person because librarians are cool. Had I known back when I was looking at careers back in high school… ah, well, next life, maybe.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            It’s a good career. By some strange coincidence, I have a lot of librarian friends. They are steeped in the concept of being of service to the public, no matter who that “public” is.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            Plus, imagine getting PAID to be around books…

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            Great writer + obscure subject = must read. Damn, what’s the library’s URL again?

      • Rasilom

        There is a Cosmos episode about them. Amazing women.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          I gotta check that out.

          • Rasilom

            The episode title is “Sisters of the Sun”. Watch the entire series. It is really well done and addresses all kinds of cool stuff. It also politly rips on the entire climate change denier thing as well as the whole creation is only 6500 years old thing. It is on Netflix for streaming.

        • Shanzgood

          I binged the whole new Cosmos series in one big squee. And that WAS a great episode.

          • Rasilom

            It is a total favorite

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        That sounds fascinating. Is it a good read?

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      I bet the MAGAs are excited because a new job has opened up for them. Does a GED qualify?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Knowing how to use a scale to weigh meth does not count as “higher math”.

        • Walter Wellstone

          Does knowing the difference between a wine cooler and a bottle of Strawberry Hill count? Those are two different sizes, y’know?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            We’ll have to ask Bristol Palin.

      • Saxo the Grammarian

        “I got 85% on my algebra pop quiz. Do I qualify?”

        • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

          Only if your schoolmarm scored you an 85 cuz you got 47 out of 100 correct.

          • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

            Right. It’s called “85 proof”.

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          Don’t be silly, they dropped out long before they got to algebra. And would have gotten 9%, not 85%, on any pop quiz.

      • janecita

        A “GED,” Please, don’t be an elitist! A solid eighth grade education is all you need.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Libruls and your stupid “high school diplomas”!

        • redarmyzombie

          I dun’t know ’bout this har book-lernin yer yammerin ’bout, but I lernt all I need sinc b’fore kindergarden!

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    See, these are more reasons why I like people but hate the human race.

  • Count Awesome

    They’ve got it all wrong, sperm doesn’t change a woman’s brain at all. In fact, well I’ll just let Iggy Pop sing it:

    https://youtu.be/q7kxTPbB4S4

  • msanthropesmr
  • Serai 1

    This is interesting. I guess even Congress realizes how fucking dangerous it is for Twitler to have that authorization.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRDBgfVAbIc

    • Panika MCD

      Barbara Jackson Lee for the win!

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    Chicago is lit! Hyde Park is hopping, downtown reminds me of Istanbul with the riverfront scene…

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Or Constantinople.

      • The Green Bastard

        Why did Constantinople get the works?

        • OutOfOrbit

          Books.

          • The Green Bastard

            Shhhhh! That’s nobody’s business but the Turks.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

            If you’ve a date in Constantinople, she’ll be waiting in Istanbul….

  • Panika MCD

    going through these photos for Prima Momma’s slide show. did I mention that before she was a Prima Momma, she was a micro-bio-geologist? yes. here she is looking at moon rocks. her lab got a dumb assignment (see if there’s any organic material in this stuff), but they wanted the clean lab and they got it.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/27e2c4179016ff689684f7a8f7d16f583514133a61400034a17a6b2568c50dbb.jpg

  • Walter Wellstone

    So now biology is fake news too? What is it: a conspiracy by the deep state? I guess these idiots have always existed but now we get to hear from them thanks to the Interwebz. It’s the bad that comes along with the good of having such a nifty tool as widespread connectivity.

    • OutOfOrbit

      The low-hanging fruit on the tree of knowledge is poison.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Interwebz plus TRMP encourages the stupid to speak out. This stuff used to not be mainstream.

  • Picabo

    Here’s the back story on the Magnitsky Act. Bill Browder is one of the good guys.

    “The main reason Magnitsky has been so successful is that it addresses the state of the world in modern Russia vs. the Soviet Union,” Browder explained, arguing that nowadays officials who commit human rights violations for profit in Russia often keep their money in the West as they fear the instability of Russia. “I guarantee you, if put them on a sanction list, they’d think twice about what they are going to do next in Ukraine and elsewhere.”
    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2014/03/03/the-man-behind-the-magnitsky-act-explains-why-now-is-the-time-to-go-after-the-russian-elites-assets/?utm_term=.0f558a89e9be

    • CripesAmighty

      Stand up guy. He’s made it his life’s mission to nail those responsible for the death of his lawyer and friend.

  • Zyxomma

    I just ate my zoodles (angel hair made of zucchini, then salted to give it a cooked texture and drained in a sieve) and vegan pesto. Because I love you, here’s the pesto recipe:

    You will need a Vitamix or other high-powered blender, or a food processor. Soak half cup pine nuts in pure water for a few hours, then drain and rinse. Into the Vitamix, place love, 6 cut up garlic scapes (ends and papery covering of the baby garlic removed); cover with extra virgin olive oil, and blend. Add to oil/garlic scape mixture 1 large bunch pistou basil (that’s the kind with tiny leaves), 1 small bunch flat-leaf Italian parsley (remove stems from parsley and cut off bottom stems from basil), 1 large garlic clove, halved, about 1/2 T. NM chile, about 1/4 t. coarse Himalayan salt, 12 pitted Kalamata olives, 6 pitted Castelvetrano olives, and 1/2 T. nutritional yeast (optional). Blend, using the tamper to make sure everything’s incorporated, and drizzling more olive oil through the cap as needed. Adjust seasoning to taste. Place in jar, and cover with olive oil (unless you’re using it all immediately; this is so it doesn’t blacken). Serve over pasta or whatever you like.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      It’s not truly vegan if it doesn’t have babby anuses

      • Zyxomma

        I never had any babbies, and you’re mistaken. Baby assholes are only featured at that ridiculous place we were talking about last week, where they don’t know how to cook or to parent.

      • redarmyzombie

        Free range to boot.

    • RobKanC

      ok. I am not judging.. Why did you choose to be a vegan? Just curious.

      • Zyxomma

        That’s easy. Eggs and dairy made me ill, and I never much liked meat. I did used to enjoy shellfish, and if I craved it, would eat it, but I lost those cravings over three decades ago. I love fruit, vegetables, pulses, nuts, seeds, mushrooms, and sea vegetables (seaweed). I don’t want anything else. I’m a great cook, and I love food. It just doesn’t include carcasses or eggs and dairy.

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      Try toasting your pine nuts rather than soaking. Toasting to a golden brown brings out the sweetness of the nuts. Only problem is that I have to up the amount to 3/4 of a cup because I eat a handful of them before they ever make it into the pesto.

      • Zyxomma

        No need, IMO. This pesto tastes exactly how I want it to, and nuts are more nutritious raw.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          If you’re trying to fend off discoloration, a little lemon or lime juice goes a long way…

    • MizzMazz

      Yum. I wish I bought a Vitamix instead of the juicer I got and hardly use anymore. that sounds delicious.

  • I am unhealthily excited about the Mary Poppins sequel coming out next year

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Julie Andrews herself put her stamp of approval on the project. She said that Emily Blunt will be brilliant in the title role.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Wait, what?

      • Yes. Mary Poppins Returns starring Emily Blunt, Lin-Manuel Miranda, and Colin Firth is due out Dec 25th, 2018

        • Serai 1

          Why am I not surprised that P.L. Travers’ wishes were not respected?

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          Why?

          • Good cast, probably some good tunes, and the original is one of my favourites

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            I hope you’re right. Rethinking of old movies always makes me nervous.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Just read on CNN that McCain had blood clot surgery yesterday and won’t be in Washington for the scheduled McConnell/Cruz/TrumpCare vote.

    • RobKanC

      Good. The maverick would have voted with the repubs anyway.

      • Shanzgood

        There are rumors that Moran (KS) won’t vote for it. We’ll see.

        • RobKanC

          There is a senator named Moran from Kansas.. Aren’t everyone who voted for Brownback morons?

          • Shanzgood

            Pretty much.

    • The Green Bastard

      Surprised they’re not gonna wheel his ass in on a gurney for that shit.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Well it’s toast then, since it already has two Republican votes against it. That means if McCain was going to vote for it, they can only get to 49.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender
      • Shanzgood

        Moran is on this list for being against getting rid of the preexisting conditions coverage and hobbling the Medicaid expansion. He’s already expressed his objections in town hall meetings.

        Good lord, if a KS Republican senator helps stop this I don’t know what the world is coming to!

      • SayItWithWookies

        McConnell still has Planned Parenthood defunding in that? I can’t believe the only Republican senators opposed to that are Murkowski and Collins, too? That’s appalling — what a party of hard-assed ideologues who’ll fuck up millions of women’s lives for some freakish — I’m not even sure what it is — an ideology? That somehow Planned Parenthood, which already is forbidden from using federal money for abortions, must be entirely shut down. It’s freakish.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Oh, and the Senators and their staff still have everything covered in their plan, that We The People will be paying for.
          I’m making a sign for the next Trump Tuesday that Move On has that says “Why Doesn’t YOUR Insurance Look Like MY Insurance?”

        • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

          I don’t understand how it can even be legal.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Good thing he has coverage.

    • Panika MCD

      maybe we should just break quorum, then.

    • Count Awesome

      Sounds like a convenient excuse.

  • CountryClubJihadi

    Watching Rachel reruns with my 83 year old mother, whom I deprogrammed from a Rush listener to a Hillary voter. She just blurted out “Would it kill you to wear some earrings?!!!”. Sounds like we need a quick session tonight. :)

    • Well, at least Rachel doesn’t wear her glasses for the show

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Tell her Rachel wears really sexy thong panties. With her girlfriend’s name on them.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Mrs. Grammarian and I remember Rachel from her Air America days, and we knew from the first listen that she was someone special. So put a lid on it, Mom. :-)

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Right? You could tell, couldn’t you?

    • wait! what?

      Rush probably doesn’t look good in earrings; kinda like a methed-out Genie on a opium binge…

    • janecita

      Your mother sounds adorable:-)

  • Ω cynmac will never surrender
    • TJ Barke

      Gee, I can’t imagine why anyone might think that…

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        The idiot was applying for jobs in academia also too. Not just consulting or bidness.

        • TJ Barke

          “They’re oppressing me for wanting to oppress other people! Double oppression!”

    • Panika MCD

      see why Straus and his deputies oppose bigot laws? business + their own constituents + not-an-asshole = job security

    • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

      Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy!

      • Panika MCD

        but I hope it happens to Dan Patrick Dannie Goeb.

    • jesterpunk

      So the free market decided he isnt worth hiring?

    • CripesAmighty

      Why doesn’t Dump give him something useless to pretend to do, or someone to screw, like everybody else…oh yeah. Loser.

      • SayItWithWookies

        There’s gotta be a civil rights post needing an appointee.

    • Count Awesome

      So the government needs to find him a job and a sex partner?

    • SayItWithWookies

      Well, bigot’s the easy answer. He also cost his state possibly $200 million in lost tourism dollars, including lots of college sports — saying he’s being persecuted as a bigot is just his way of appealing for sympathy from Nazis and racists. And easier than admitting he was a failure.

  • What science does say that when women get pregnant the cells of the baby stay with the mother often decades later after birth. They have only been able to detect cells from male fetuses, because you can’t differentiate cells from a female fetus from a female mother. It is actually quite cool to think that my son’s cells are still inside me. It is an overall cool discovery made creepy by the profound ignorance of these homunculi with bumps on all the wrong places on their skulls.

    • Panika MCD

      cool. had to look that up!

  • bluicebank

    Again with these Incel douche bags. Dint they know God invented masturbation for a reason? Works for not-getting-laid syndrome, too-poor-to-buy dinner, and of course “I’m currently off the menu, and Anime is my girl friend.” Cough. Not that I know anyone in that last category.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      I prefer to call it “prostate management”.

  • Panika MCD

    Daddy John’s senior class photo where you can tell I look like him because a) no beard and b) nose not broken quite so many times yet.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bfe65f276e4d770e2fa6a3e2e838d88b8c12cc69e834705ab30f72d25f47cdc6.jpg

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Is that what they mean by ‘smouldering looks’?

      • Panika MCD

        IDK. but I inherited most of them.

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          Go on…

          • Panika MCD

            if you go to the Google machine and look up “panika poetry”, then click on “images”, I am the first.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            That’s…. intense. Wow.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Voted “Most likely to die alone”.

      • Panika MCD

        he died with his father in a plane crash in 1987.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Awkward.

          • Panika MCD

            it’s alright.

    • Alan

      He looks like he knows something we don’t.