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OH HEY WONKERS! Yeah y’all, we are very ZZZZZZZZ, so we hereby present to you the most halfassed top ten post in the history of top ten posts. Above, a picture of Wonkette Toddler Human Woman on her way to see her niece! (More pictures of that forthcoming.) In the next graf, we will ask you for money, and you will like it, and you will GIVE US MONEY. After that, a list of the top ten posts of the week. And then we are done. K? K.

So! We’ll count down ALL the top ten stories in a sec, but first, we must shake you down for donation moneys. See, we have no ads. NONE. Remember back when we had ads and they ate your browser and made your grandma cry a lot? God that sucked! But we got rid of them, and that means YOU, LITERALLY ALL OF YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE, pay our rent and our paychecks and our other things and stuff. And we’re trying our best to keep up with the fucking Trump regime, and in that spirit we’re taking on more writers, which costs $$$$, and we want to take on EVEN MORE! So please please please do monthly donations, so we can grow and grow! Will you do that? They can be small monthly donations, medium monthly donations, or YOOGE monthly donations. It takes all kinds! We even take thousand dollar and million dollar donations, OR MONTHLY MILLION THOUSAND DOLLAR SUBSCRIPTIONS, like if you are a secret famous celebrity fan of Wonkette! Seriously, if you are able — DO NOT MONEY US IF YOU CAN’T AFFORD IT — then pull out your wallet and sign up to throw money on our face every month! You can also pull out an envelope and stamp and send money to Wonkette, PO Box 8765, Missoula MT 59807. Whatever, just please support us any way you can.

Look, it’s the traditional Wonkette Baby Donation Pressure Lion Of Cuteness, who is also tired of Donald Trump Jr.’s malarkey right now probably:

YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW.
YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW

We shall now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

1. VEGANS! BUTTHOLES! YODELING! What more could you want in a Wonkette post? Number one for the second week in a row!

2. This asshole “patriot” who threatened a Muslim couple cried REAL TEARS after he was arrested.

3. Sarah Palin went full Nazi last week. It was not pretty.

4. Chuck Todd figured out a thing. It was not pretty.

5. Wonkette had to raise the Trump Russian Pee Tape Threat Level to Code Yellow this week. That is still in effect.

6. Special counsel Robert Mueller hired the world’s most badass lawyer in the universe for his team. Again.

7. Oh go fuck yourself, Kayleigh McEnany.

8. Donald Trump Jr. was SO MAD how Hillary Clinton tricked him to colluding with Russia that one time. Our very first post on the subject!

9. And then Donald Trump Jr. tweeted out the EMAILS PROOF of how he colluded with Russia. He is very stupid.

10. And finally, Donald Trump went to France, grabbed First Lady Brigitte Macron’s arm by the pussy, and then he perved on her some more.

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!

Oh, hey, sign up for our newsletter RIGHT NOW DO IT DO IT DO IT:

You are very good!

Now this post is over.

Yours in Christ,

Wonkette

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  • Nounverb911
    • Awww. But hell, it ain’t like she ain’t had one hell of a run

  • Nounverb911
    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      The good news is that about 80-85% of the replies are lighting him up for that.

    • LIAR!!!!!!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I’m having problems deciding who is more vile: Donald or Dense.

      • Why not both?

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          I owe you a Coke.

          • Does not count, I went with one wonkgasm and you another so we both arrived fully satisfied ^.^

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            So, it was good for you?

          • Smokin as we speak. *exhales* Do have to get my chores done though…want a sammich?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Could you rub my back first?

          • *rubrubrub* I was never good at backrubs. Always either too hard or too soft :/ Could be he is just that picky

          • Big Puppy Resists

            Get a room, you two, or at least a bunk.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        BOT, K.

    • Suttree

      Stupid commenting rules…. :(

    • kareemachan

      Bullshitter!

    • Stulexington

      Also, no new taxes and I am not a crook.

      • MizzMazz

        “The check’s in the mail.”

    • Dutchman
    • Celtic_Gnome

      I got my weekly newsletter from Senator Portman (Rob’s Rundown) with a button to click to contact the Senator.

      Jesus! It took so long to log onto his site and then submit an email that I thought I was using dial-up again.

      Oh, and I involuntarily sneer every time I see Rob’s Rundown appear in my new emails just because of the name. I keep wondering how much it cost the taxpayers for his staff to come up with that one. It’s so “clever”.

      • FlownΩver

        If Rob’s Rundown he can be sure the Awfulcare bill covers Geritol.

  • Ω cynmac will never surrender
  • Msgr_MΩment

    Any new pix of wonketgraddaughter rocking the lion outfit will be gratefully appreciated.
    Although, of course, there is only one.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Prolly donut fit no moe.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Nah, pass it down to her wee neice.

  • Joy and her panels have been on fire this morning. (I have it on in the background while i sort out the crap piled in my closet)

  • Nounverb911

    Attention Whovians!
    13th Doctor to be announced after Men’s Wimbledon Championship tomorrow.

    https://twitter.com/bbcdoctorwho/status/885907569696440320

    • Helen Mirren? Haley Atwell?

      • Nounverb911

        Haley would be great. Helen would be a hoot.

        • Both have said they want to

          • OOOooo A Lady Who?

          • They’ve had a Lady Master…

          • I do not know, I never watched the who, except back in the 90s a bit on the PBS and I was always o.) Whut.
            Cause I ain’t that smart.

          • Meh. Who is just a pile of crazy wrapped in time travel. Just watch and have fun

          • I tried but my brain kept trying to make it make sense and put things in order and it refused to do it. I just figured I was not that bright and left it go at that.
            PBS stopped airing it which is why I never did more. If they carried it, we would watch whether we got it or not XD We’re sorta hopeless that way and it sure as fuck beats reruns of Blue Bloods.

          • There really needs to be a Law & Order channel.

          • RIGHT??? Except it would be on 24/7 here. He watches alllll of them. And all the CSIs (except he was never keen on Miami) and the NCIS with the guy who played Robbin that one time, and if it has a cop on it and is on the tv. MEH.
            So. Tired. Of. Cop shows.
            Luckily he’ll sooner turn on sci fi so we get a bit of that also if it is on

          • But…Lenny Briscoe!

          • Do love me some Lenny. And TBH, I sorta liked Fontain and Green also. Mostly because of the lil things, like when he’d pinch someone’s cheek and then pat it. So mobbed up.

          • Suttree

            For people who can’t handle changing the channel once a day?

          • Yes. With an interwebs stream so us cord cutters can watch

          • Check out ION, I think it is called. One of our piggy back channels. So Much Law and Order and SUV too

            Edit: Lolz. SVU.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Certain times, BBC America is all Star Trek all the time.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            There isn’t? I thought that’s what USA was.

          • Ghenghis McCann

            What if they cast Michelle Gomez as the Doctor, as well as Missy? It could be fun.

          • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

            I’d like to see that – I think it’s time for a different spin and viewpoint on the character.

          • MizzMazz

            The current formula has certainly gotten tired, hasn’t it? I had such high hopes for Capaldi, but the material he was given was crap for the most part. I’ve just about given up on the show, and I have been a fan since Tom Baker.

          • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

            I think they wanted to go back to the “distant, less human” type of Doctor and overshot, then overcompensated coming back. Hopefully a change of lead and of showrunner will help revive the program.

          • Ghenghis McCann

            Tom Baker? I’ve been watching it since William Hartnell. That most certainly makes me an Old. (Though I would like to try being an Ood.)

          • eggs ackly-wright

            No yodeling until after noon, please.

          • but my butthole is all ready now. Spoil sport

          • kareemachan

            It would be about damned time!

      • eggs ackly-wright

        Shirley Henderson

      • The bookmakers have Phoebe Waller-Bridge as the current favourite for whatever that’s worth. She’s made comments that could ambiguously suggest she’s been cast in the role.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Tiffany Trump!

    • Nockular cavity

      After Wimbledon? Maybe it’s a giant blancmange from the Andromeda galaxy?

      • They mean to win it, you know.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          One brave Scotsman comes forward…

          • Ghenghis McCann

            Jamie Murray?

  • I forgotted to shower you in whore…well not diamonds because /notthatrich but…whore zirconias last week so rectifying that now. MOAR WONKETTE

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Those are the cubic zirconias?

      • You know, the fake diamonds that are Just as Good as Real Diamonds so shut it!!!

      • eggs ackly-wright

        Pubic.

        • Ghenghis McCann

          Ah, the ones they use in vajazzling.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Putin’s plan to destroy American influence in the world is succeeding better than he even imagined.

    • idk, I think he imagined Donnie being able to off troublesome journalists.

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        Don’t need to kill ’em when you can just assassinate their characters.

  • stankbait

    Senate voted to keep their ACA benefits while on a mission to destroy it for the rest of us.
    What the fuck is up with that shit? All of them want to be fired? They have their heads up their asses so far they can see out their belly buttons for Christ’s sake!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They know they still have the base, even though the base will lose their health insurance, because the base is that fucking stupid.

    • Suttree

      I’m surprised they didn’t go ahead and tack a raise on too.

      • They tried!

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Didn’t one of them say that Viagra should be covered in the bill? He was definitely thinking of a raise.

        • PubOption

          A risible idea.

          • mailman27

            I don’t know- the defense of the idea seems to be hardening.

    • shivaskeeper

      That is the point that needs to be hammered home over and over again.

      If their plan is so great, why aren’t they willing to go on it? Why are they keeping the ACA provisions for themselves?

      IIRC, every iteration of this shit show of a bill has kept the best ACA provisions for Congress, but no one seems to be hammering on that part.

      • We need to start.

        • shivaskeeper

          Not just we. FFS how many Dem pols have been saying this is a mean bill? It sure is mean, but the GOPer base seems to thrive on mean as long as they think someone else gets screwed more than them.

          Every interview, every speech against this monstrosity, needs to point out that the GOPers are going to keep the ACA for themselves instead of going with their own plan. Every time.

          • It is kinda funny considering how much they pouted and screamed about being put ON the ACA.

          • shivaskeeper

            Congress and all Congressional staff will be able to keep the ACA. How’s that for a great endorsement of their own plan?

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Okay, hear me out because I have this crazy theory in my head:

      McConnell has to know that the provision exempting Congress from the new health care legislation violates reconciliation. Congressional pay and benefits is the purview of the Senate Finance Committee, and this bill is not coming through that committee under reconciliation.

      What if, somewhere in the dark recesses of their brains, they realized this bill is DOA so they put in that provision solely so that the parliamentarian will rule it violates reconciliation and they can then blame the Dems because the Dems could filibuster it? Then McConnell could move on to tax “reform” and whatever else.

      • Suttree

        Sounds correct. They know that shit isn’t kosher.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        That’s plausible. It won’t be reported that way because Broderism, so they’ve got cover with the cretins of the base (“The Democrats obstructed!”).

        • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

          It just feels like it’s too stupid a ploy to be anything else. McConnell is stupid, but not stupid, if you know what I mean.

    • Panika MCD

      they wanted to kill it by breaking their own reconciliation rules? it’s not a bad strategy for those trying to kill it.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        I had the same thought below.

  • Bozilingus

    Since Donald rates women by their appearance, I wonder if Ivanka wanted rhinoplasty or if Daddy ordered her to do it.

    • Suttree

      Both I would assume. The whole family seems to like surgery.

      • PubOption

        And they all seem to get the same work done. The current version of Ivanka looks more like the current version of Melania than Ivana.

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        Though not in a healthy, Igor-ish way.

      • folderol

        But no hair transplants?

        • Celtic_Gnome

          He tried hair transplants once. Evidently a disaster. Marla suggested it, so he expressed his displeasure at the process by beating the living hell out of her and raping her.

          I don’t know if I need to add “allegedly” or not since she did say that happened in her sworn deposition during the D-I-V-O-R-C-E but later backed off the claim.

          Oh, what the hell. Let’s give Donnie the benefit of the doubt, something he’s never given anyone in his life.

          Allegedly.

    • Stulexington

      I’m gonna go with he gave it to her on her birthday.

      • Suttree

        Her 18th?

        • 16-18 from pictorials I would guess. I am not gonna say women can’t do it and all, choice is great! But she was pretty before. Now she looks…molded. Pretty! But sort of creepy pretty like someone cut her out of a block of stone.

          • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

            I said before – I liked her old nose because it looked like a nose. Now it looks just…wrong.

          • It’ll get worse as she ages. When you start plastic surgery young and your body changes with age, you have to keep doing it over and over. I don’t mean lifts and tucks, but full out reconstruction sure as heck does. Ask any burn victim that has had it and aged.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            One more and she may look like Micheal Jackson.

          • FlownΩver

            Or on her way to full Voldemort.

          • UnsaltedSinner

            She still looks great, but it’s like some of her personality is gone. That tends to happen when people cut away the stuff that separates their face from the average.

          • puredog

            Jennifer Grey libelz!

          • PubOption
          • mailman27

            She looked too much like Chelsea Clinton. Daddy said that look’s gotta go!

          • puredog

            It also looks like she might have gotten slightly de-chipmunkified.

      • TundraGrifter

        That comment can be read more than one way – and the other way is really, really creepy.

        • Stulexington

          To be fair, giving her a gift that says “you look ugly, but daddy’s gonna fix that” is really creepy too.

          • TundraGrifter

            No doubt about it. As if the average woman didn’t have enough issues with body acceptance – her father had to tell her going under the knife was necessary?

    • I get the feeling if mom could afford it, she would buy me liposuction

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        If that was what you wanted, great. Personally, I think you is a fine looking dodo the way you is.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      All the allotted cosmetic surgery fund went to Ivanka and daddy…those two miserable fucking “kids” are going to have to sell pencils on the street corner to purchase new chins.

    • Duke

      That nose had to get smaller and the boobs had to get bigger to match daddy’s ego, for sure.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I can’t get past the flat, dead look in her eyes to even notice her nose.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      He didn’t order her. He just said, “If you don’t get your nose done, I won’t love you anymore.”

      So, it was more of a suggestion.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    What’s a Saturday without a Vegan Butthole story?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Vegan Butthole: It’s what’s for breakfast.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        But an hour later, you’re hungry again.

    • Sedagive ’em Hell

      Great, great band.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Saw them at Woodstock. The hippies were beating the crap out of them to stop them from playing.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Remember that time they opened for Fugazi?

        • Sedagive ’em Hell

          I saw them at Roseland – blew the lid off the joint.

          • I caught them at Bowling Green. Twas quite the masacre

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            They really killed that night.

        • TundraGrifter

          But enough about Sec. Clinton’s scandals.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I’m calling for a Congressional investigation!

          • TundraGrifter

            That’s the ticket!

    • My favorite Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy character!

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
  • Rev Barber on Joy now!

  • Yours in Christ

    That’s wot me wife Hortense says to me last night!

    “Yours in? Christ!”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/674e039b3b09de63031d368dff0436bb9f763a0b899cb0b288d722998df5b2dd.jpg

  • Nounverb911

    I wonder what’s on trump’s playlist?

    https://twitter.com/JustinTrudeau/status/886212814121074692

  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    The Butthole Surfers were the best goddamn American psychos ever:

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4fW0xpoGmEk

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I was thinking the other day…Gibby’s gotta be going “man, if I’d come up with Vegan Butthole instead of Buttholes Surfers, we coulda made the big time”.

      • Sedagive ’em Hell

        They made it pretty big, considering their live act.

        Man, they were the best thing in the early days of heavy drug use.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Did you ever read the book “No Slam Dancing, No Stage Diving, No Spikes”? An oral history of the City Gardens punk club in Trenton, NJ. If you haven’t, I won’t spoil it for you, but the dramatic arc of the book is based on a legendary Buttholes show there…they’d been on the road for, like 2 years straight, bent out of their skulls on acid, weed, and pills. Utter madness. Gibby set himself on fire (naturally), but also set the club on fire, the cops came, they refused to quit playing. It was beautiful.

          • Sedagive ’em Hell

            I haven’t read the book, but it’s on my list.

            I was a Jersey punk, but I giged (and attended gigs) in NYC. Saw the first Butts show at Danceteria: fire, cockroaches, Souzaphones, screaming, bleeding from the whatever.

            One of the best gigs it has ever been my privilege to witness.

  • Panika MCD
    • Gee. That is not intimidation.

      • Panika MCD

        they are so transparent! the most accessible EVAR!

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          Very transparent. We can see right through their lies.

      • puredog

        Ceci n’est pas une pipe.

    • shivaskeeper

      This was gross stupidity, I think, more than malevolence. This is rank fucking amateurs trying to play professionally.

      They claim they are going to be able to secure all the info they are demanding, with no legal authority to demand it, but can;t even secure emails. This does not make them look competent.

      • Bullshit. Read the story; the one who identifies as Republican, they only did name, not address too.
        This was on purpose 100% to keep people from commenting at them so they can say “Everyone wrote in and said they were behind it!”

        • shivaskeeper

          I did read it. Some had name, or name/email, or name/email/address posted. From the limited info in the article it looks like whatever the people posting the comments included in the posts was published. I don;t think any of the info was redacted for any of them so whatever they supplied was what was sent out.

          The point is, if Pence and Kobach are going to assure the various Sec’s of State and the people that they will be able to secure sensitive personal information that they have no right to have in the first place, doxxing everyone making a comment is not a great way to start.

          • FlownΩver

            We’ve been watching Kobach in Baja Nebraska for quite a while. This putz hasn’t done anything competently in the present century. Why would we think he’s start now?

      • bupkus231

        “This is rank fucking amateurs trying to play professionally.”

        Hell, no. Kobach, Von Spakovsky, Adams all know what they’re doing. They may be stupid, too – but I believe this was more or less deliberate. There’s more ways to suppress voting than by law – all they have to do is sow distrust.

        And even the appearance of incompetency does a lot to sow distrust.

        Link: http://denver.cbslocal.com/2017/07/13/voters-withdraw-colorado-donald-trump/

        Yeah, these actions are meant to be temporary – but imagine if this would spread countrywide….

        • shivaskeeper

          They have an agenda to be sure. At least four of the members of the commission are all for purging voter roles or are otherwise anti-voting zealots.

          The distrust they are sowing is with the Sec’s of State who will be ones to submit the info if they are going to. You and I don;t get to decide if we are going to comply with the request, but the Sec of State is. If the commission shows it can’t be trusted with simple email comments the various Sec’s of State should balk more than they already are, for the most part.

          On a related note, this is probably the first article I have seen that has come the closest to saying Two Scoops 3-5 illegal votes was a lie. They didn’t quite say it, but did call it baseless.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        They’re going to keep all the voter data on a laptop belonging to one of Pence’s assistants. Name of Brad, I think. Anyway, Brad never goes anywhere without his laptop, so you know all that shit’ll be safe.

    • Covfefe

      Doesn’t Citizens United protect the identity of voters?

      • If they are corp donors, sure!

      • Lori

        You misspelled “donors.”

    • Sophia

      When your first impression is “that was not an accident” you know things are fucked up

    • Celtic_Gnome

      It’s cool. They put a tiny notice in the Weekly Register a week or so before opening things up for public comments warning everyone that would happen. The Party of Personal Responsibility believes it’s the personal responsibility of each commentor to go check this one website for information like this pretty much buried just enough to be hard to find.

      • Panika MCD

        except for the part where the notice was put up on July 5 and most of the comments released are from before that…

  • David Chaillou

    When is Donna coming to Paris with her family? I promise not to cook pig butthole, although in fact it is a great delicacy.

    • La forza del resistino

      Oui. Paris deserves some American cuteness following enduring our Ugly American in Chief’s presence.

      • David Chaillou

        He was rather subdued actually, wasn’t he? I have a bet with myself he was hoping that his presence would prompt either riots or a terror attack that he could use for his white supremacist narrative.

    • Sophia

      My 3 yo grand daughter for some unknown reason has taken to calling a piece of chicken “chicken butt”. It’s hilarious to see the faces of people when we go out to eat.
      Them And what would you like?
      Her: I want chicken butt please

      Snork

      • David Chaillou

        She is right. “Le croupion” is very tender and is normally reserved for the guest of honour.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      But is it vegan pig butthole?

      • David Chaillou

        The pig can be vegan, yes. Anything for a fellow wonker.

  • Skaarphy

    Loriot predicting the Trump administration in 1976.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dq3E0iXRY7o

    • UnsaltedSinner

      But at least Loriot had good intentions.

      • Skaarphy

        Yeah, you’re right. Doesn’t really fit …

  • Bub, the truculent Zombie

    According to “historian” and man who believes the Bible is a history book David Barton, Trump is tweeting to distract people from all the progress his administration is making “down underneath.”

    http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/david-barton-trumps-tweeting-is-smart-because-it-distracts-the-press-from-all-the-progress-were-making/

    • Suttree

      David Barton is what happens when you go to Oral Roberts University.

      • shivaskeeper

        Yet another grifter. Plain and simple.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Even just for a day…

    • Weird considering how he is whining about how no one is covering his progress

      • Bub, the truculent Zombie

        Ik, r? Why the hell would you WANT to distract people from covering your accomplishments? Unless perhaps you realized those “accomplishments” were something to be ashamed of.

        • Lori

          To keep those sneaky, evil Libs from ruining it, of course. The Dems having so very much power in Congress right now.

      • shivaskeeper

        He is a humble man as is befitting his Christianity.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      By which he means the way said administration is fucking us up the ass.

      • puredog

        Anal intercourse libelz!!

    • Ghenghis McCann

      He thinks that Trump is not mentioning all his successes, due to his extreme modesty? What does it take to be so delusional.

      • jesterpunk

        The man who is still bragging about his electoral college win and handing out maps of his win.

      • Lori

        Money. Barton makes a very nice living for himself grifting off Right Wing Evangelicals

        • Covfefe

          Trump makes more money from one Russian oligarch than David Barton makes from all his Right Wing Evangicals.

          • Lori

            Yes, and? The greater size of Trump’s grift doesn’t keep Barton from wanting to continue his own. Barton knows what his audience wants to hear—that they voted for a winner, not con artist/buffoon. Also kiss up, kick down is pretty much the Right Wing life motto,

            It’s not like Barton is in a position to get in on the Russia con, so he’ll just keep working his own corner.

      • Relativicus

        Ask the people who see pure piety in Trump.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      When David Barton writes the history of the Trump years, it will be a salute to Donald’s unparalleled genius.

    • PubOption

      But one of the first things he did was to insult the Aussie PM.

    • Alexander Stallwitz

      Whats terrifying is Barton might not be wrong. How much shit is Trump and his cronies doing that we dont know about or did while we were being distracted by the myriad other scandals Trump did. I always believed that Trump is a distraction, a clown to draw attention while the real monsters work in the shadows undermining our society to get rich or turn america into a theocracy. Trump is a means to a end.

      • Lori

        This is a concern, but I’d be a lot more worried about it if they were even close to fully staffed. They have hundreds of jobs still unfilled, with no nominees in sight, and that limits there ability to get stuff done.

    • Relativicus

      It’s a clever ruse designed to hide his accomplishments behind a thin veil of jackassery, assholishness, and buffoonery.

  • MizzMazz
  • UnsaltedSinner

    It’s not often I get a belly laugh from a chart, but this did it. One of the companies at Jared Kushner’s tech meeting is not quite like the others…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/db64ef450c2a11d063ad5d325146b81dea19c8dd1d0bc31a771aa03d16212b66.gif

    Full story here:
    http://www.motherjones.com/kevin-drum/2017/07/jared-kushner-helps-out-his-little-brother/

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Someone loan her a history book – saying tax cuts worked in the 20’s when the decade ended with the beginning of the Great Depression is just so mind-bendingly stupid.

    https://twitter.com/FoxNews/status/886235408161398784

    • shivaskeeper

      Sure they worked in the 20’s. Until the bill came due. Wasn’t there a recession in the 70’s as well? As for the 80’s Regan raised taxes over a dozen times.

      • Lori

        And still left us with an enormous deficit that it took both Bush I & Clinton to dig us out of.

        • shivaskeeper

          As well.

      • MizzMazz

        In the 70’s we had inflation and gas lines. Depending on your license plate number, odd or even, you could get gas. 80’s had prices for everything skyrocketing, but the print, television, and movie media was celebrating the idea of greed and luxe. We can’t afford to forget how things really were in those days. I would like to think we are not so easily fooled, because of the easy access to information, but things just feel more stupid than before, and more expensive.

        • Lori

          The problem is that easy access to information for average people has given way to easy access to average people by liars and con artists. It’s a serious problem that will get worse if Idiot Pie manages to kill net neutrality.

        • shivaskeeper

          It seems more expensive because wages have been been flat and not grown with the cost of living.

          As for the stupidity? I got nothing.

          • MizzMazz

            Too right. It IS more expensive, because of flat wages, and working two or three jobs is the new normal. I got nothing for the stupid either – I am constantly aware of how much I don’t know, and it gets exhausting.

      • Panika MCD

        oops? I mean it was, like, an anomaly, like, it could totally, like, never happen, like, ever again because and such as, like, these things have, like, cycles? and it’s not proven, like, to be, like such as people’s like fault …

    • msanthropesmr

      Kennedy – you never were that alt-cool chick that you thought everyone was talking about. That was Liz Phair.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Kennedy is A Idiot.

      • msanthropesmr

        And, more devastating to her, I would guess, she’s not cool.

        • MizzMazz

          She was what they call now, a ‘Try-Hard’ The Julie Browns were cool on MTV back in those days.

        • Wookie Monster

          And no one under 40 knows who she is any more.

          • H0mer0

            GET OFF MY LAWN!/sn

          • Covfefe

            Best news I’ve heard all day. I must be under 40.

    • msanthropesmr

      The Laffer curve is real – but start talking to me about it when Marginal tax rates for those earnings about $200k go into the 70-80% range.

      • Wookie Monster

        Wingnuts always assume that we’re still on the upper end of the curve, no matter how many times they’ve cut taxes for the wealthy.

        • msanthropesmr

          Because, if you ask the average American, they think that the top tax rate is higher than it is:

          http://www.npr.org/2017/04/17/523960808/we-asked-people-what-they-know-about-taxes-see-if-you-know-the-answers

          • Wookie Monster

            It helps that Fox keeps lying to them.

          • OrG

            To be fair, the average American is a idiot.

          • Lori

            As my best friend’s mom once said, the average IQ is by definition 100 and 100 isn’t much.

          • Lori

            People also just do not get how tax rates work. They don’t understand top tax rate vs effective tax rate at all, The Right has exploited that cluelessness to cut the number of tax rates down to a ridiculously low number.

      • FlownΩver

        About that curve – any recognition of a limit? Or is it the case that a zero tax rate will maximize tax revenue? Alternative math, I’m guessing.

    • OrG

      Nope.

    • Covfefe

      How could she forget the economic bang when W cut taxes?

      • Wookie Monster

        Wasn’t she still on MTV then?

      • OutOfOrbit

        Facts never fit nor suit the conservative agenda.

        • Khavrinen

          That’s because, as all conservatives know, fact have a liberal bias.

    • Anna Rompage

      I suppose it could also be said that guillotines helped equal out the income inequality in France, when the elite got a little too big for their bridges…

    • Wookie Monster

      Kennedy peaked when she was doing interviews of Smash Mouth.

      • msanthropesmr

        Hey now, your’e an asshole, get your game on, get paid
        Hey now, you’re an asshole

        • Wookie Monster

          At least I’m not a vegan babby butthole.

          • msanthropesmr

            I’m sorry? Isn’t that Smash Mouth? If not, I apologize. You’re not an asshole. Kennedy sure is.

          • Wookie Monster

            Oh yeah, it was Smash Mouth.

          • H0mer0

            ‘you might as well be walking on the sun”

    • Anna Rompage

      If tax cuts”improve the economy” how come productivity has increased 100s% since the 60s yet the vast majority of wages have stayed flat?

      • Lori

        From the POV of the oligarchs and their toadies that is an improvement to the economy.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Memory is a stranger. History is for fools. Man is a tool of the great god almighty, Then they gave him command of a nuclear submarine, sent him back in search of the garden of Eden– Roger Waters

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      Its lucrative to be the spokesperson for the obscenely wealthy. It used to be hard to find people who would prostitute themselves in such a fashion. Thanks, Reagan.

    • TJ Barke

      If by improve the economy you mean “makes the rich richer at the expense of everyone else”

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        That’s EXACTLY what she meant.

  • The Librarian

    ICYMI: Hawaii Strikes Down The Grandma Ban: The most obvious ruling against the Travel Ban yet.

    “The Trump administration’s attempt to legislate bigotry was dealt another blow today when a federal judge in Hawaii ruled that grandparents count as “family,” regardless of country of origin.”

    http://abovethelaw.com/2017/07/hawaii-strikes-down-the-grandma-ban/

  • Ω cynmac will never surrender

    Trump and the Media from Josh Marshall – Josh raises some good points that help explain how this all unraveled so quickly. Hint: It’s Jared.
    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/the-trumpers-dont-hate-media-they-are-media-creations

  • OddMan

    The perfect storm of crass callous greedy stupidity.

    https://twitter.com/kylegriffin1/status/886212505499869184

    • Bozilingus
    • Bill Nye and NDT vs Pruitt? I’d watch that floor wiping

    • Panika MCD

      okay!

      • bupkus231

        Aaaah – he’d probably ensure Sen Jim Inhofe and Bill O were moderators…

    • shivaskeeper

      Sure. Run the EPA as a reality show. Why not?

      • H0mer0

        that wuz the poi-puss all along, wuzn’t it?

    • TundraGrifter

      Next will be a debate on the Law of Gravity. Do things fall up? Many people don’t know that.

      • MizzMazz

        It’s getting noticed more and more.

      • CripesAmighty

        A Super Ball from the $.99 store will provide the incontrovertible evidence that ‘gravity’ is a socialist plot.

      • H0mer0

        “throwing up” is only because of a equal and opposite force—wait–inertia, how does it work?

        • Old Man Yells at Cloud

          Throwing up has become a common behavior since Nov.

      • shivaskeeper

        Silly. Jesus keeps us on the Earth. Jesus is always the answer.

        • Marion in Savannah

          Not 42?

      • kareemachan

        And how do tides work?

    • MizzMazz

      No, the debate is over, the facts are in, and what are you going to do about it? I think Americans deserve the pies and cakes they want, and in the end that would be more practical.

    • Reximus

      I wonder if he knows what the P in EPA stands for? Here’s a hint Scott: it isn’t Pfffft

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        Plundering? exPloiting? Prostituting?

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        It’s the Environment Profit Agency … guaranteed profit for those who rape the environment!

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      Why not a radio debate? Who wants to look at scientists?

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      Guaranteed it’d have to be on Fox, and Neil & Bill would be banned…

    • OddMan

      Maybe scientists have already answered this question. The Doomsday Clock which had been at 3 minutes to midnight for a couple of years was moved to 2 minutes 30 seconds til midnight for 2017.
      Bulletin of the Atomic Scientist 70 Years Speaking Knowledge to Power
      http://thebulletin.org/timeline

    • kareemachan

      “Come and do your deal”?

      Also, who is he gonna have debate them?

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      Let’s just replace peer review with a televised wrestling show.

  • Continued update: packing still sucks

    • msanthropesmr

      You know, I heard a rule of thumb that three house moves equals one house fire.

    • OutOfOrbit

      And very best part is clean-up before locking out the last time.

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        We gave up our storage unit last winter, when I figured out a way of shoving everything in the garage. It took THREE DAYS to sweep the damned thing out, and when I was done it was cleaner then when we’d rented it. And when we called the owner to say we were done he said, oh, you didn’t need to do that. Woulda been nice to have been told that beforehand, y’know?

        • OutOfOrbit

          Wut?! No damage deposit?

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            Nope. And we gave up our unit on two weeks’ notice.
            I like this little town.

      • puredog

        Especially when you look around sadly and go, “Man, this place was NEVER this clean when I was living here.” Helped an ex-in-distress with a move-out last week and found myself doing Q-tip work on bathroom crevices. The place turned out spotless. Me, however, I live in a doghair-coated dirt palace.

        • OutOfOrbit

          Helping your ex is all on you (sucker). Did she offer anything in return for your service?

    • Sophia
  • ken_kukec

    “My, but for a skinny gal you’ve got some fine hooters” is what the Donald was attempting to convey to Ms. Macron. It was gross and inappropriate, but in the gross-and-inappropriate pantheon of Trumpisms, I can’t rank it very high, since he just blurted it out, as opposed to all the gross-and-inappropriate crap he’s said with malice aforethought.

    • Bozilingus

      The tRumps were the Visitors…
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GH7pfVvCII

      • H0mer0

        she looks like Amy Schumer

      • Vecchioivan

        Who doesn’t love a good ding-dong?

    • I figured he had been warned to avoid remarks about their age difference, so that was him attempting to doing that.

      “I heard you were some kinda old bat but’cha still got nice tits onya there, Honeybunch.”

      • UnsaltedSinner

        It’s like asking Basil Fawlty not to mention the war.

        • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

          Ditto Walter Sobchak…

          • ken_kukec

            “Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules?!”

      • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

        Alternatively, “he was warned”, so naturally…

    • Ghenghis McCann

      “Malice in Wonderland. Starring Donald Trump.”

    • Duke

      “You look good for how old you are.”

      • OutOfOrbit

        “Well preserved” is the preferred term.

        • Ghenghis McCann

          I hope to achieve “well preserved” by pickling myself in alcohol.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            I’m eating a lot of processed foods. I figure if the preservatives work on food they’ll work on me.

      • ken_kukec

        “How old I am is seven years younger than you, Monsieur Orange.”

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      Melania is due for a new pair. Where’d you get yours?

  • H0mer0

    “Lawson Mohs Snarr Camille U. Bloom and grow Bloom and Grove for red for”
    [how my dragon dick-tashun interpreted “Blossom of snark, may you bloom and grow, bloom and grow forever”]
    “Vegan-butthole, yodeling puss
    Bless my wonkette forever!”

    (I apologize to the people who write for a living for this assault on the poetic meter.)

    • msanthropesmr

      There once was a man from Peru,
      who fell asleep in a canoe,
      while dreaming of venus,
      he played with his penis,
      and woke up with a hand full of goo..

      • Vecchioivan

        There as a young man from Madras
        Whose balls were made out of brass.
        When he banged ’em together
        They played “Stormy Weather,”
        And lightning shot out of his ass.

        • wait! what?

          The perfect tombstone inscription for the dos equis guy(s).

        • doktorzoom

          Shary Flenniken did a fantastic comic where a couple is having sex, her on top, and the guy says “Talk dirty to me. baby.” The woman stops humping, recites that limerick, and in the final panel has her arms stretched wide, delivering the last line with an expression of pure “Ta-DAA” delight with herself.

          It’s one of the funniest goddamned things I’ve ever seen, and damned if it can be found on the interwebs. I have the National Lampoon archive on CD-ROM, and can’t find it there, either.

      • H0mer0

        my SO and I were driving by the “Fuente de Agua Viva” casa (probably a business suite being used as a church) and I realized that title could be another euphemism for penis since technically it’s accurate

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      On the chest of a barmaid in Sale
      Were tattooed the prices of ale.
      And on her behind,
      For the sake of the blind,
      Was the same information in Braille!

      • TundraGrifter

        There was a young lady from Bangor,
        Who slept while the ship lay at anchor.
        She awoke with dismay
        To hear the mate say,
        “Let’s lift up the top-sheet and spanker.”

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      See what it does with “O pointy birds…”

      • H0mer0

        [are you talking about the meter or Dragon dictation?]

        • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

          Dragon. Speak-n-Spells are some of the best digital comedy. I had Naturally Speaking back in my Pentium days, and it seldom got anything right.

    • doktorzoom

      Dragon works a little better if you don’t actually sing to it.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    Just fuck off, Rodney Davis. He’s on CNN right now, bitching about how Democrats aren’t helping with the healthcare bill. That’s a special kind of stupid. How the hell can democrats be blamed for a process they’ve been left completely out of. What a load of shit!

    • Stulexington

      80% of the Republicans aren’t helping with the bill either, for the same exact reason.

      • shivaskeeper

        But they’ll still vote for it by and large.

      • wait! what?

        80% sounds suspiciously like some sort of higher educated tech term; which republicans are opposed to.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Did someone remind him that Republicans have a majority in both chambers of Congress?

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      “You’re not destroying a bill that you support, that is working, and that the American people increasingly support as well! How DARE you!!!”

      – Rodney Davis, from what you’re telling me

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      Also too, why would we want to help dismantle our own fairly-well-functioning, not-a-bad-start type healthcare plan just to make Trump’s base happy, and throw tons of money to a bunch of rich folks who will only send half of it right back to the RNC?

      • OddMan

        The biggest reason I heard for why people don’t like ACA is, “My health insurance has gone up, why the fuck do I have to pay for some else’s sick kid.”
        Real quote.

        • Old town Urbandale

          I could have sworn that my health insurance premium went up every year (except the years that I bumped to ever-higher deductibles) for the 30 years I was buying health insurance before Obamacare.

    • Sophia

      I had to turn it off. Insincere half assed push back from Fredricka. This is what drives me so crazy with CNN. They may bring up a topic but then they let the spokes person totally take over the segment. GRRR!

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        I had to do the same, or risk throwing something heavy at the TV.

        • puredog

          Just throw that 60-pound bale of drugs. That’ll fix its wagon.

      • kareemachan

        I don’t watch these channels in the first place. NOT worth the aggravation.

        • mailman27

          I had to stop watching the “news” a while back. Too much rage.

    • TJ Barke

      That is fucking moronic… Why the fuck would they want to help any of the goals of this fucking bill? It takes away healthcare, gives the rich more fucking tax breaks they don’t fucking need or deserve, and lets insurance companies get away with, essentially, murdering the poor. The dems want none of those and the repubs want all of those. It’s like asking “Why aren’t you helping me plan to commit a crime?” or something.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        “I just don’t understand your reluctance to let me stab you. I told you I would only stab you lightly, and just because you saw me stab that other guy 3000 times, that’s no reason not to work with me. You’re so partisan.”

    • How the hell can democrats be blamed for a process they’ve been left completely out of.

      Hasn’t that been the hottest fad of this political season though.

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    Insurers Torch New Cruz Provision In TrumpCare: ‘Simply Unworkable’

    How in the fuck did that asshole ever come by his rep as “scary smart”? I mean, this is box-o’-rocks territory, here…

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Consider the competition he faces in the GOP.

      • TundraGrifter

        Where Ole Newt is the acknowledged intellectual giant.

        • Erala Contratista

          Just ask him.

          • TundraGrifter

            Like Boss “I wasn’t wrong; I was misinformed” BlunderRush and The Silly Savage, Ole Newt has to keep telling people how smart he is. Otherwise, nobody would notice.

    • shivaskeeper

      He is smart. He is scary. Put them together and you get scary smart.

      He also, like most GOPers in sage seats, fear being challenged from further right. He has to keep the crazy flowing unless he wants to end up like Cantor.

      • CripesAmighty

        And he knows vast swathes of the electorate are scary dumb–and gobble this shit up as fast as he can shovel it out.

      • TundraGrifter

        He may be smart but he lacks common sense. And that’s an ugly situation to be in. He has no idea how to work with people – or even talk to them without pissing them off.

        • shivaskeeper

          Cruz is the living embodiment of the rights idea of how a “coastal elite Hollywood type” strawman treats the fly over states right down to the smug superiority and better than you attitude.

      • bupkus231

        Speaking of Cantor, I see his ultra-conservative replacement is toeing the party line:

        Link: http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/dave-brat-we-gotten-a-little-hysterical-about-russia

        “Collusion? Nah – and even if so, so what?”

        The fathers of conservatism are rolling over in their graves.

        • shivaskeeper

          Was there any doubt he would do that? Cantor would have also, too had he still been there.

    • Master Contrail Program

      He is a smart dresser snd it’s scary what his trick umbrellas can do. Other than that? I got nothin’. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dfae3e3826a8b3d04f9749a2f8fa3e848e7872d8bd363131a6cb5e3848f79fe9.jpg

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Irony? Because he’s neither scary or smart.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • TJ Barke

      That’s like something a child would say…

      • UnsaltedSinner

        That’s what I thought when I read it, as well. In Donald’s mind the world looks like a Bugs Bunny cartoon. The whole interview is just nuts.

        • Dellajmoore

          Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !pj155d:
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          !pj155d:
          ➽➽
          ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash445BuzzPlazaGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::!pj155l..,….

    • Ghenghis McCann

      As crazy as that sounds, you need transparency through that wall.

      We have these things called windows that make parts of a wall transparent. Surprised you haven’t heard of them.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Surprised you haven’t heard of them had anyone thrown out of one. FIFY

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          Ask the Russians.

      • kareemachan

        I’m betting he asked somebody if they could make the steel transparent.

        • Querolous

          Transparent aluminum is not just a Star Trek thing, it’s for real! http://screenrant.com/star-trek-transparent-aluminum-real/

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            I can just hear Montgomery Scott (oh, do I wish I had a name like that) say, “Admiral, there be Mexicans here!”

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Video cameras on one side and yuuugeee flat screen TVs on the other. Problem solved!

          What about electricity to power that, you ask? Meh. Just use steam power. Burn coal to make the steam to drive the turbines to turn the dynamos. Gives all of those out-of-work coal people jerbs!

          /s

          I hope DJT does not read this.

      • Yr. Gma

        “Windows are doing a terrific job and I’m hearing more and more about them.”

      • Old town Urbandale

        Trump’s a Mac snob.

    • TJ Barke

      What’s it matter if the wall is transparent if you can’t actually monitor it? And if you had the manpower to be monitoring it, you wouldn’t need the wall in the first place…

    • OddMan

      “This would require an average throwing force of 2,646 newtons, or almost 600 pounds. That makes this one tough sack-throwing hombre, someone not to be messed with.
      From Wired, incredibly annoying site layout.
      https://www.wired.com/story/trump-heroin-wall-physics/amp

      Also suggested by someone was a trebuchet, I like that way.
      $10 billion wall defeated by medieval technology.

      • Naytch

        Biceps the size of cantalopes…

    • Sophia

      What is it like a zoo attraction? The ‘Murikans can wander on their side pointed out and making fun of the unfortunate people on the other side and occasionally throw them peanuts? I can’t see any other reason for someone wandering along the wall that is going to get hit with a sack of drugs.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Wandering through some pretty rough terrain, at that. Or maybe walking down the middle of the Rio Grande.

      • Persistent Demme

        I knew some idiots in San Diego that would stand on the decks of their “mansions” and gaze upon Tijuana, saying stupid things like: “why do they want to come here?”
        Even as a child I knew that they were dorks, and if they could see Tijuana, Tijuana could see them.

    • FlemmishSpy

      Let the bales soar,
      Like they’ve never soared before.
      From rocky coast to golden shore,
      Let the mighty bales soar.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Well, I had to think about that as an engineering problem. How do you throw a 60-lb bag of drugs over a wall that’s, say 15′ high? Also, too, if the wall is transparent, it helps the throwers as much as it helps the people on the other side. Also, how do you catch a 60-lb bag of drugs after it lands. What if the bag of drugs breaks? How do you coordinate the whole operation?

      I only have a solution for the first question, a trebuchet.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/064c8a3e8a821a89e3a1d516de5f57c5f018549ebc040259a4156ac23b8e57cd.jpg

      The easy solution for that is to use drones to blow the shit out of the trebuchets.

      Hey, it’s no more ridiculous than what Trump was saying in the first place, right?

      • Naytch

        We cannot have a trebuchet gap! Or fighting in the War Room…

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Oh, and to answer Schiff’s question, if an American is hit by a sack of drugs (because he did not duck in time), said American will be allowed to sell the drugs legally at market street rates to pay for the medical expenses.

      A problem arises when the Mexican drug people do smart things. For example, they can throw decoys over the wall. This would make stopping them even more difficult. Unfortunately, if an American is hit on the head by a decoy, there is no drug value in that. Also, getting hit in the head by a flying wooden duck really hurts!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    For those of you with red senators, you have my sympathy and this urgent message:

    https://twitter.com/SenFeinstein/status/885952512725061636

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Already done. Thanks for posting this.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Or faxing for those of us with asshole senators that put the answering machine on.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      We are so fucked. Republicans are such cowards. Even if they’re against it, no one wants to be the third vote that kills Trumpcare and gets them attacked by the base like a common Democrat.

  • FauxAntocles

    What if we created a national medical insurance union, a la credit unions? It would be non-profit and it’s only purpose would be to make sure people get the care they need…

    • OutOfOrbit

      “non-profit” kills the deal.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Non profits can do just fine providing healthcare. Kaiser is a non profit, and a lot of people like them.

        • FauxAntocles

          I didn’t know that.

        • OutOfOrbit

          You missed my point: somebody has to make a profit out of everything that happens or it is SOCIALISM and against the Capitalistic Laws of Nature.

    • MizzMazz

      It was kind of like that once long ago. we’re not going to see that again, I think. Makes too much sense, helps people, and doesn’t make some scumbags rich.

    • Sophia

      Wouldn’t work because people are too busy telling you what you can & can’t do with your body. I choose what you can have covered but you have no say in what I have covered.

      • FauxAntocles

        Rather than insurance, this org buys medical facilities and staffs them? No pay-per-service fees, if you’re a member you go to them and they take care of you. The doctor is your employee.

        • Sophia

          I may not be seeing this in the same way you are so the only thing I’m seeing is Planned Parenthood. and the fiasco that is occurring with that.

          • FauxAntocles

            Maybe that’s what I’m thinking of but with a wider scope and no government involvement. Member financed. I suppose that’s a dream, maybe I’m just a communist at heart.

          • Sophia

            Hey, keep dreaming. Good things have come out of dreams.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      They actually were a thing prior to the wide use of health insurance. The AMA saw them as a threat and worked to remove the hospital privileges of MD’s who participated. Health insurance was offered as an alternative and you know where that got us. Yet another case where I wish I had the linkey,

    • pstockholm

      You’d need to have a three-legged stool: “guaranteed issue and community rating, the individual mandate, and subsidies” (Krugman).

  • wait! what?

    If Donald deathcamp care passes I recommend Wonkette do a post directed at those who passed it called:

    “Dear, shit-for-votes”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    And as much as we want to impeach Donald, let’s remember that Mike Pence isn’t much better:

    https://twitter.com/ThePlumLineGS/status/886183963127054336

    • IdiokraticDrumpfenResistance
      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        Lil’Donnie’s only interest is in wallet. If being a vegan-granola-munching tree-hugging prius-driving chi-aligning Kumbaya-singing liberal payed better, he’d do that.

        Pence is a true believer in misogynistic bigoted prick philosophies, but unlike Lil’Donnie, he is not clueless. He would stay on message and not shoot his plans in the foot.

        Lil’Donnie is more likely to end up starting WWIII, but Pence would be harder to fight over domestic policy.

        • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

          Pence is more dangerous than Donnie Two-Scoops. I can never forget – the Ex of my now-Ex killed herself over “Bathroom Bills”.

          There is blood on this Race-Bannon-Looking Motherfucker’s hands. I feel like LGBTs are about to be thrown under a train.

      • Phried Ω

        The choice is an erratic asshole versus a reliable asshole.

        • therblig

          and neither one vegan

      • Jennaratrix

        I think he may actually be worse in some ways – that man has a plan, it’s a terrible plan, and he has the ability to stick to it. Unlike Orangina.

      • mailman27

        I think he has a reputation of being kinda D-U-M-B too. In Indiana they called him Gov. Dense.

    • Yr. Gma

      Well, let’s hope Mueller takes them both down.

  • La forza del resistino

    AMJoy reports Donald is hosting a LPGA event at his club. If he thinks he can wander into the locker room, he can expect a 3-iron to the nutz. Unlike swimsuit girls, these ladies are armed.

    • wait! what?

      3-way iron is what he thought he’d get.

    • Vecchioivan

      Grab ’em by the putter.

  • Granny Sprinkles

    I know you’re plain knackered out Evan -and I hate to add to your troubles- but I was led to believe there would be pictures of Tallulah.

  • wait! what?

    The Deep History of the Radical Right’s Stealth Plan for America

    http://billmoyers.com/story/deep-history-radical-right/

    Author Nancy MacLean has unearthed a stealth ideologue of the American right. Her book, Democracy in Chains: The Deep History of the Radical Right’s Stealth Plan for America, tells the story of one James McGill Buchanan, a Southern political scientist and father of “public choice economics.” MacLean details how this little-known figure has had a massive impact on the ideology of the far right. None other than Charles Koch looked to MacLean’s theories for inspiration. They are libertarian — but with a twist: bluntly, it “entails restrictions on the freedom of the great majority in order to protect property rights and the prerogatives of the most well off.” MacLean shows how this idea can be traced down through the last 60 years of right-wing politics, starting with Brown v. The Board of Education and continuing with the Koch brothers’ empire. And she demonstrates that those followers and those in thrall to the Koch billions are pumping up their fight under the new administration.

    • TJ Barke

      And like always, it can be boiled down to basically “I got mine, fuck you”

      • wait! what?

        With a side-ideology of caste-based slavery.

        • TJ Barke

          More or less the enslavement of everyone that doesn’t own property.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            And the enslavement of some who DO own property, depending on the color of their skin.

          • TJ Barke

            They won’t be allowed to own property…

    • eyelashviper

      thanks, a really good read.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Jesus christ this is so scary. It really brings a lot of things into focus.

    • Zyxomma

      Thank you, and for those who want more, here’s the book excerpt from Democracy in Chains: http://billmoyers.com/story/book-democracy-in-chains-far-right/

  • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

    Heys, Y’all. Been quite a week, including some idiot setting off a string of firecrackers on 2nd Floor, necessitating an evacuation.

    I got some good news also too on my income front, plus the 17th marks two years since I Came Out, so Ima making TexMex and cake for Monday, and enjoying the present I bought for myself, the new 8th Edition Warhammer 40000 starter Set. Here is a preview of the new Primaris Space Marines:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f98eaf724ff65b2d936fc5fe0dc5d053f28985010cb57ea023da56965bec47b2.jpg

    This is the Brother-Sergeant of an Intercessor Squad, I’ve painted him as a Blood Angel.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Glad you’re back. Some peeps were worried, but not me–you’s got true grit now.

      • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

        Thanx, Doll. :) If I could get a couple days without a PTSD Trigger, that would be good.

        My friend here also lives on 3rd Floor, and she broke her back in a fall last April, so I helped her get her furbabies out, I carried the cat in her kennel.

        • OutOfOrbit

          BRAVO! Stay you, baby.

    • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

      Happy Coming Out Day! What kind of cake are you making?

      • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

        Classic Yellow w/ Vanilla Frosting. :) I think it’s an occasion worth breaking my diet for.

    • Yr. Gma

      You are an inspiration, my friend. Good on you for being a friend to your neighbor and her critters.

      • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

        Thank you, I couldn’t let her worry, and her back couldn’t have handled carrying the kitteh.

        I hope the managers get the false alarms stopped, it’s been every week, and I had nightmares all the night this last time.

    • covfefesumgame0005

      Tamale Pie? with sweet white hominy? oh my, my mouth is watering now!

      • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

        Actually ,it’ll be hard & soft shell bean & cheese tacos and Burritos. I’m slow-cooking Pinto Beans and Black Beans now, they are coming on 12 hours.

        I have 3 kinds of cheese, Sour Cream, tomatoes, Green Chiles, and such to go with them.

        • covfefesumgame0005

          can I come over for dinner? that sounds really good! sour cream does not do it for me, but you are doing the beans the right way, just like my great-grandmother used to do!

          • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

            Yiss, there is plenty! :) I have them in a little chicken stock, and after 8 hours I added Garlic, Pepper, and taco seasonings. I think I’ll add some corn near the finish.

          • covfefesumgame0005

            swoon!

          • Erala Contratista

            There is never not enough beans….

          • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

            They taste and smell divine. :) Coming up on 14 hours in the slow-cooker.

          • SDGeoff3

            WE are on our way.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

            I added Sriracha and Brown Sugar hour ago, they taste really good now.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          You stop it now! My stomach is growling.

          • Anna Elizabeth, Invicta

            You should smell them cooking! xD

    • Canned Covfefe

      That’s some good happiness!

  • BloviateMe
    • Yr. Gma

      Cats are very good at revenge.

      • BeachBum

        Then they say ” Who me ? Sez who ? You got a witness ? I got 2 associates that will testify we was eatin’ cannelloni in Brooklyn at that time. Call my lawyer.”

        • Pisto75666

          “The dog is a witness? Nice kid. Would be a shame if he were sent away someplace”

    • Kateaux

      That mostly-white cat seems to have figured out how to get access to plenty of food, though…

      • Querolous

        He’s looking at his neighbor as if he is thinking “I wonder if he tastes like chicken?”

  • La forza del resistino

    39 y/o Junior’s defense of ‘I was promised but nothing happened here’ doesn’t seem to save the 39 y/o guy showing up at the front door on ABC’s To Catch a Predator show before the cops cuff him.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      I actually know someone who was caught on that show. Very creepy.

      • Lori

        So creepy. Years ago a coworker was caught in a local kiddie porn sting. He was one of those obnoxious people who liked to put his hand on your shoulder while he was condescending to you. Every now and then I still get a wiggins thinking about him.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        I know somebody who was not caught on that particular show but attempted the “I tried to molest a child but it didn’t actually happen because her horrified mother reported me to the cops and they caught me on an undercover tape trying to get her mother to pimp out her daughter to me, so no real harm done” defense

        That classic excuse did not work in court very well and, given his age, he is probably removed from society for life. As well he should be.

        • Mr. Blobfish

          My guy is sometimes seen around town, taunting his distractors. He’s gonna get his ass beat real good one of these days.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Charles Blow gives me the optimism I need to get my swim in. BBL, dear Wonkers, on this note:

    https://twitter.com/StevenReyCristo/status/886124975723118593

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Entrapment is for the little people.

    • hudson srinivasan

      wasn’t he supposed to be like SMRT?

    • BeachBum

      Beware of Greeks (Rooskies) bearing gifts (dirt). Hmmm.

    • Lori

      I adopting “Lies, wrong, no we don’t” is my new motto. I should stitch it on a sampler.

  • Sophia

    Okay enough of this frivolity. Off to the salt mines. that garden isn’t going to weed itself. Behave yourselves and keep the world safe while I’m gone.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d1069918193c507167884e3e80043414e84570a499072a5f78136451377fa0e9.jpg

    • therblig

      oddly enough, the empty tree pit (had to remove tree for sewer/water line replacement) in front of our house has sprouted tomato plants, i suspect, from a discarded sandwich or other urban litter. while i would never eat them, i’ll be interested to see how they progress unattended. life finds a way.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        A lot of potting soil comes with tomato seeds in it. The manufacturers mix in mulch that still contains live tomato seeds.

        • puredog

          If it looks like a tomato, it probably IS a goddamned tomato. I’d eat the hell out of those fuckers or, at least, give ’em a go.

        • Erala Contratista

          When I was a pup, I had the tedious opportunity to make and steam sterilize potting soil. The smell is something else, and tomato seeds are unkillable.
          When we have finished off the earth, the rats and roaches will have something to eat.

      • LadyLaz

        They just grow and keep going. Birds got into my stand and pooped all over and now I have tomatoes everywhere. I am good with it because I love tomatoes

        • therblig

          for all i know, ours might have been spread by rats, and while i love a good ratatouille, i think i’ll get mine at trader joe’s.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Goodness, what a week. I can’t tell you what relief I felt in reading about vegan baby buttholes, and there’s a sentence I never thought I’d type.

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    New band name: Vegan Baby Butthole Surfers.

    Genre has not been chosen yet.

    • SisterArtemis

      so many options, so many options…

    • David Chaillou

      Sounds like a cross between Ziggy Stardust and the Lively Ones.

    • covfefesumgame0005

      dude it’s gotta be a Glam Rock Hair Band!!!!

    • The Wanderer

      Emo Glam?

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Dick Dale meets Darby Crash?

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Pop-punk beach music. Obvs.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
  • eyelashviper

    Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the dumbest Trumpfukwit of them all??

    http://api.theweek.com/sites/default/files/cbr071117dAPR.jpg?resize=807×807

    • FlownΩver

      AOT,K of course.

  • Jennaratrix

    I can’t believe the vegan butthole yodeling post is still going. That thing has taken on a life of its own; and now must be nurtured and cared for because vegans.

    • Zyxomma

      I think you mean because of vegans who are not part of the Wonketariat, unlike yours truly, who has been a Wonketteer for years, and a vegan for decades. I just made the most delicious batch of vegan pesto in my vegan Vitamix, and will be enjoying it later.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        You will?

        • Zyxomma

          Yes (perhaps I should have said shall). Soon. Already had my salad (purslane, purple lettuce, olives, grape tomato, avocado, radish, homemade dressing). The pesto awaits!

      • Jennaratrix

        *Sigh*

    • SisterArtemis

      And because non-vegans, also too.

  • mailman27

    Auntie Donna is reaching the event horizon of adorableness.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      And we all get sucked in.

    • TootsStansbury

      So much cuteness. Today, we are all Auntie Dr’s nieces and nephews.

  • boredcatlady

    Holy shit look how growed wonkette human woman toddler person is! 😍😍😍

  • Zyxomma

    I do wish the good lord would learn how to spell supersede. Otherwise, a really fun post: http://thegoodlordabove.com/god-responds-pastors-praying-trump-oval-office/

  • nightmoth

    Looks like the cryin’ cowboy who wants to kill Mooslims attracted some brand new commenters, and at least one of them is unfamiliar with our rules for radicals commenting guidelines. Might want to take a look-see, Dok.

  • psychobroad

    Jesus fucking God Aunt Donna Rose is going to be the freaking death of me. You can die from cuteness, right?

  • Courser_Resistance

    OT: Just got back from our SAR exercise with another SAR team we train with often. Really good exercise. We even found a dead person! (staged dead person, not a ‘real-live dead person’ as I inquired). I went out with one of the other team’s dog teams. I think it was a ‘personal best’ day in terms of my fitness and food/nutrition management. The dog team moved faster than I’d hoped, but the trails were mostly well-maintained and I was able to borrow a pair of trekking poles from a teammate, so off-trail was good too.

    Our two lost ‘wildlife biologists’ were found pretty quickly and one was evaced by litter, though they didn’t carry it all the way back since it was in a busy park and we didn’t want to freak the park visitors out. We got lots of support and ‘thanks’ from them, though.

    A good day. Now just waiting for my innards to equilibrate (or whatever it is they’re doing) before finding food.

    • LadyLaz

      Good job!

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    The Trumps really are far stupider than I had ever imagined. Luckily for them, half of America is stoned ass stupid, also, too.

  • Zombishroom

    NO vegan Butthole! No vegan Butthole! YOU’RE the vegan Butthole!

    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      And you’re yodelling that, correct?

      • Zombishroom

        From my yodelling vegan butthole.

        • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

          Can’t wait to see you on “America’s Got Talent”!

          • Zombishroom

            I didn’t even mention my banjo playing penis. Vote for me!

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      All your vegan buttholes are belong to us 11!!!eleventyone!!!11

      • Zombishroom

        Haha haha! You think you can control the vegan butthole?! You fool!

  • LadyLaz

    Donna Rose is precious

    • Zombishroom

      For real,right? That child is adorable!

  • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

    I found it interesting that out Patriot in Portland plead not guilty but then refers to the couple as, “the victims”. Hmmm.

    • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

      He is an idiot. And “Not guilty” means he has some kind of reason why the judge should go easy on him despite basically confessing to the crime on TV.

      • Dellajmoore

        Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !pj154d:
        On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        !pj154d:
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