SHARE
Fake Lawsuit! Fake Lawsuit!

Three people whose lives were upended by information contained in hacked emails from the Democratic National Committee are suing the Trump campaign and Roger Stone, alleging that they conspired with Russia and Wikileaks to release the info and do them harm. It’s an incredibly gutsy strategy to use the court process to find out, as a great man once said, “what the hell is going on.”

The lawsuit, filed by former DNC staffer Scott Comer and two donors to the DNC, Roy Cockrum and Eric Schoenberg, details the damage done to them by the Wikileaks email releases, and names the Trump campaign and Stone as defendants, based on publicly available reports indicating the Trump campaign may have coordinated the release of the emails with Russia and Wikileaks. The lawsuit is being brought on the plaintiffs’ behalf by United to Protect Democracy, a nonprofit formed by former Obama administration attorneys to “hold the President and the Executive Branch accountable to the laws and longstanding practices that have protected our democracy[.]”

While the lawsuit itself doesn’t contain any new evidence that the Trump campaign conspired with Russia, it cites example after example of connections between figures connected with the campaign and Russia, as well as Trump administration attempts to cover up or downplay those connections. And yes, of course Donald Jr.’s meeting with a lawyer he was told represented the Russian government, and his enthusiastic “I love it” response to being told the Russian government wanted to help his dad, are cited in the suit. If a federal judge accepts that the plaintiffs have standing to sue for the damages done to them, then the discovery process for the case will require Team Trump to turn over documents and depositions to address whether the Trump campaign actually did work with the Russian effort to deploy hacked emails against Hillary Clinton, along the way doing real damage to the three plaintiffs and others. As legal demigod Dahlia Lithwick says at Slate,

[The] suit begins with the uncontroversial premise that real people were harmed in real ways by the campaign and that a court might be a good place to find out precisely what happened […]

[T]he end game here is to begin a discovery process that might muster evidence linking everything we know to everything we don’t know, and to do so outside the shadow of Congress and the executive branch. And they are counting on the fact that federal conspiracy laws will allow them to use a court itself as a way to find evidence of a conspiracy.

If it works, this is a hell of an ingenious way to force public disclosure of information about the campaign’s connections to Russia. Don Jr., your lawyers need to turn over the contents of your computer. If there aren’t any more emails between you and Russian government figures eager to help your dad, that would be some terrific exculpatory evidence, no?

The damages to the the plaintiffs certainly are real enough. After their names, addresses, Social Security numbers, and other personal information were included in the Wikileaks dumps, Cockrum and Schoenberg have both been the subject of harassment and of strangers using their information to try to get credit cards using their information. Since the information remains available on the searchable Wikileaks database, they’ll have to worry about fraud as long as the information is out there, which the suit says has resulted in “significant distress and anxiety and will require lifelong vigilance and expense.”

Scott Comer, the DNC staffer, had thousands of his emails splashed all over Wikileaks, and included information that outed him to his grandparents, who had not previously been told he was gay because they were very religious and didn’t approve of teh ghey at all. Beyond causing distress in his family, the lawsuit says that suddenly being at the center of very public, detailed picking over of the details of Comer’s private life led to the end of a romantic relationship, as well as making him a pariah among his co-workers at the DNC, where he was “marginalized and isolated” and eventually resigned. Comer was also distressed that comments taken out of context from the emails, “in which he made colloquial references about other gay individuals to friends who understood that those references were made without animus or disrespect generated press reports labeling Mr. Comer as homophobic and racist.” And then there were the harassing phone calls:

The suit argues that the release of the emails violates Washington DC’s privacy laws, as well as a Reconstruction-era federal law against conspiracies to intimidate voters from participating in the democratic process, a law put in place to prevent harassment from the KKK. Lithwick explains that the main hurdle for the case will be convincing a federal judge that there’s sufficient circumstantial evidence of a conspiracy between the Trump campaign and Russia, and between Roger Stone and Wikileaks, to “give rise to a ‘plausible’ (as compared to a merely ‘conceivable’) entitlement for relief.” A former federal prosecutor Lithwick consulted by email, Jacob W. Buchdahl, said he believes the plaintiffs have a pretty good chance, since

[Conspiracies] are never joined in plain sight; as a result, civil plaintiffs routinely plead circumstantial evidence demonstrating the defendants’ motive, opportunity, mutual benefit, and attempts to conceal their unlawful behavior.

So: Maybe this is just crazy enough to work, and the discovery process for this lawsuit will bring forward all sorts of fascinating information about the inner workings of the Trump campaign. Says Lithwick, if the standard for evidence is a “plausible” case that there’s a conspiracy to look into, then the plaintiffs have a chance: “While nothing that happens in Trumpland feels remotely believable anymore, pretty much anything feels plausible at this point.”

For his part, Roger Stone is angrily insisting the case has no merit whatsoever, because this is a man who eats breakfast with a sense of indignant outrage. In a statement emailed to the Washington Examiner, Stone not only denied the validity of the case, but threatened to get the plaintiffs’ attorneys disbarred, maybe:

There is no evidence whatsoever that I had advance knowledge of the hacking of the DNC e-mails if they were even hacked. I assume this is a publicity play and will be quickly dismissed for lack of evidence. I have instructed my attorneys to seek sanctions against the lawyers involved for the filing of a ridiculous frivolous lawsuit. The desperate maneuver of a pack of pathetic losers.

Yep, those folks who’ll have to keep watching their credit ratings forever sure are pathetic losers, you betcha. That denial, of course, is from the guy who bragged to Alex Jones that he had had “backchannel communications” with Julian Assange, whom he claimed had “political dynamite” that could be used against the Clintons.

Here’s hoping Mr. Stone has something nice to wear for his deposition. Might want to avoid those ensembles that make him look like a gangster or comic book supervillian.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Please click the “Donate” clicky to bestow upon us your monies!

[NYT / Cockrum et al v. Trump For President complaint / Slate / Washington Examiner]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Villago Delenda Est

    I hope they get monetary damages that turn Roger Stone into a pauper.

    • Oblios_Cap

      I’d be happy if they made him get that tattoo removed from his back.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Or took away his membership to the swingers clubs or made him donate his (allegedly) splashy wardrobe to homeless people.

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        I hear there’s this new “flaying” method that works quite well.

  • Joe Beese

    I only attended Dick Wolf Law School, but “maybe just crazy enough to work” seems to me an over-optimistic take on this.

    A+ for effort though.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Much like gin, cockrum is a summer drink.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Is that when you make a rum and coke, then stir it with your dick?

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    I got a warning when I clicked on “the lawsuit” that the site isn’t secure. :-(

  • Oblios_Cap

    Roger Stone is angrily insisting the case has no merit whatsoever

    So obviously they must be on the right track.

  • Indiepalin

    Breaking: Roger Stone to be represented by controversial Hamburglar Law Firm.

    • eggs ackly-wright

      Hamilton Burglar?

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Starting your day by eating breakfast with a sense of indignant outrage sounds unhealthy. Which is why I begin each day by drinking with a sense of indignant outrage.

    • proudgrampa

      “Drinking is a great way to go through life, son.”

      • JMP

        Since last November, it’s the only way to go through life and remain sane.

        • proudgrampa

          Indeed.

      • eggs ackly-wright

        I just wish it wasn’t so expensive.

        • proudgrampa

          Cheaper than drugs. Just sayin’.

      • nightmoth

        I wish I lived in a legal weed state.

    • Three Finger Salute

      The worst part of waking up.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Is Folger’s in your cup?

        • Three Finger Salute

          Not a coffee drinker myself.

          I don’t even want to know what’s in Donnie’s or Roger’s…

  • Jeffery Campbell

    Yesterday on NPR, a young lad was discussing some “documentary” he had created and Roger Stone was the subject. All I could envision was the disclaimer: “No rats were fucked during the making of this film.”

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Might as well go for the Hail Mary. Sometimes it does work.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Once, in high school, our basketball team was in a tight game against another school. The winner would be in the state playoffs. With about five seconds left and the other team up by one point, a guy on the other team took a shot and missed. Our guy got the rebound. He started down the cart and, with the two seconds left, heaved the ball with everything he had just shy of the center line. The damned thing went in, and we won by one point.

  • Iron Monkey

    Stone should be included as a defendant in this and other lawsuits, if only because is he is such a foul beast.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    I guess I have been assuming, pessimistically, that several Mar-a-Lego employees have been assigned to shred and delete every single campaign document anyone can get their hands on.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      You’d think, but I am not sure they are that smart.

      • proudgrampa

        Yeah. They need notes on “Best Practices.”

      • Iron Monkey

        The H-2B visa holders who clear tables and clean rooms are a lot smarter than the Grand PooBah of Mar-a-Lago and have no reason destroy anything that would hurt him and his insufferable family. Might be a bunch of unshredded docs stashed in linen closets.

    • Joe Beese

      I prayed that someone had made a model of Mar-a-Lago with Lego blocks and called it Mar-a-Lego, but apparently not.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Paper might be ephemeral, but those pesky online documents have a way of sticking around forever.

    • John Thorstensen

      Carl Hiassen’s latest had the wonderful conceit of a mob-connected document shredding company that in reality simply pored over all the documents given them for information to be used for fraud at a later date.

  • timpundit

    Maybe this will shut up the self-loathing democrats for a time.

  • JMP

    But of course that won’t stop certain dipshits who laughingly claim to be liberal to defend the rapists Julian Assange’s work to destroy these and other DNC worker’s lives, they’ll insist these guys deserved it for continuing to work for the DNC after they dared to keep working with Hillary Clinton after she stole the nomination from The Messiah just by getting more votes even though her lack of a peniis meant she should never have been allowed to get the nomination.

    • Persistent Demme

      But her SPEECHES!!1!

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    then the discovery process for the case will require Team Trump to turn over documents and depositions

    i foresee many objections to requests and much motions to compel.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      I forsee about 200 boxes being delivered, with nothing indexed or sorted.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        lol, aye, indeed.

        (one of my last tasks at the job was to index bates stamped digital records…not sorted in any conceivable shape or form: here’s a random, out of context email, this is a company advertisement, this is the same ad, this some undecipherable printout from their database, oh look there’s that same email again, but with a reply!.

        tens of thousands of them. Kinda glad I got fired!)

      • weejee

        One of my kiddos writes code to sort through scanned copies of those 200, or more, boxes. Today, that is a minor inconvenience.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          please to pass a long kiddos name and or company website for future reference.

          (see below)

          ; )

          • weejee

            here Forensic and Litigation Consulting

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            bookmarked!

          • Oblios_Cap

            And now you can tell your boss that you weren’t reading a blog, you were networking and getting business-related information.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            sadly, unemployed.

            : (

          • Oblios_Cap

            Yesterday we were all summoned to the big conference room and told that Admin had decided our Division had too many people so they would be calling the folks to be let go in during the course of the day and telling them they would be out of work in 6 weeks. Of course, they promised that our crackerjack HR department would assist them in finding something (yeah, right). Everyone was afraid to answer their phones and e-mails because they weren’t sure if they were being called in and given a lovely “thank you for your service letter”. A number of my friends got shown the door, some who had been working here over 20 years. I’ve never seen such a callous display.

            And we’re in the public sector, not even getting COLAs or raises in the last 10 years.

            America – Everyone is disposable.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            yeh gods, that’s awful.

          • Oblios_Cap

            I drank a bit after work.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      And endless tangential punditry about what we can or can’t compel a president to produce. It could be great, or it could be yet another dumpster fire of distraction.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        oye vey, yes…and the dreaded “national security” argument, with eventual in camera viewing and admission…of a restaurant receipt.

    • Vincent Ricola
      • weejee

        Sessions already released a blank sheet of paper in response to a court order.

        • Vincent Ricola

          What in the fuck?!

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          as Vincent says, WTF? I saw a blurb about that yesterday, but had no idea what they were talking about.

          I suspect only goat-fuckin’ small time county judges would not be incredibly annoyed at that.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Can a court hold Jeffy Elf in contempt?

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Of course they can hold him in contempt! This is America! No one is above the law!

            Oh, sorry. I think I said that in my pre-11/9 voice.

      • therblig
  • Vincent Ricola

    I’ve been dealing with a huge project at work and had to stop paying attention for a couple days and holy shit I feel like I’ve been gone for a year because I seemed to have missed everything.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      In case you missed it while you were being a productive member of the collective, Comrade, the President is incompetent, cruel, and corrupt.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Shocking!

    • timpundit

      Thank your boss for that project, my friend and pity those of us watching the news.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Actually, the bottom line in all this has not changed since Jan 20, ’17

    • Wild Cat

      The good news is that when he nuked Mars because he didn’t like the candy company, it had no short-term effect. However, if you plan on living into 2018, you may want to go back to work . . .

    • Hemp Dogbane

      And soon it’ll be Money Laundering Week.

      • laineypc

        Trump recently declared it through an executive order. Aug 1-7 is now officially annual National Money Laundering Week.

    • SpideySenser

      I’ve had company and am playing catch up just now. I feel so nekid and clueless.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        I call that “Sunday morning”

    • BearGHAZI

      Trump was unmasked as a reptile humanoid while giving a speech in Paris. Conservative media be all like, “where in the Constitution does it say the prez has to be human?”

  • jesterpunk

    Roger Stone is claiming no advanced knowledge of the hacks? Then what about this twit?

    https://twitter.com/rogerjstonejr/status/767366825743097856?lang=en

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Wild Cat

    «Эти коммунистические налогоплательщики и демократы – это угроза нашей демократии! Эти демократы-паразиты связывают наши суды с легкомысленными законами!»

  • Villago Delenda Est
  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    What does this have to do with Benghazi again?

    • jesterpunk

      Ben tricked everyone into committing treason.

    • weejee

      Pee mails.

  • weejee
    • Mpeg

      Heh, heh, heh…

  • Joe Beese

    Lawmakers voted 344-81 on Friday to pass the sweeping [defense policy] legislation. The bill authorizes $696 billion in defense spending for the 2018 fiscal year, including nearly $30 billion more for core Pentagon operations than President Donald Trump requested.

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/house-defense-bill-climate-change-national-security-threat

    $696 billion. (Which does not include the military spending hidden in other agencies.)

    Remember that the next time a Republican says that we can’t afford universal health care.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i was thinking about that yesterday – the new healthcare bill has $200B to “shore up” the insurance market (after hte republican’s finally succeed in tanking it under obamacare.”

      I don’t think $200B would pay for universal health care of every one in america – BUT IT WOULD FUCKING HELP.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    I seem to remember some Trump apologist saying this is a nothing burger and definitely not Watergate because “there wasn’t a third rate burglary”

    Hacking into the DNC servers and stealing confidential information is the 21st century of a third rate burglary. In fact, it’s the exact analogue to the Watergate break-in.

    • jesterpunk

      But its something any campaign would do, very smart people have told Trump that.

  • Michael R
    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      What the hell is this?

      • Michael R

        Worst Bullwinkle episode EVER

        • Oblios_Cap

          They look good in stripes.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Russian mob family photo?

      • Vincent Ricola

        Grosser than gross?

    • armed_bears

      They seem nice.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      But, they said they didn’t have anything to do with Russia. This must be photoshopped! Either that or they are liars. They wouldn’t lie to us now, would they?

      • Michael R

        This is from 2008

        • Persistent Tennessee Rain

          And?

    • PubOption

      Guy with the purple tie looks like Mark McManus from an old episode of ‘Taggart’.

      • kareemachan

        And the boys still look like twits.

        What the hell did they shoot to make those butt-ugly coats?

        • MynameisBlarney

          Lots and lots of cute little animals.

        • Nockular cavity

          All those rats they fucked.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Are those black-and-white-striped fur coats part of Ivanka’s “Prisoners in the Zoo” collection?

      • WY_cryptid

        Not enough dalmatians for her winter line, “Let Them Have HealthCare.”

      • John Thorstensen

        Dalmations, maybe?

    • Oblios_Cap

      That doesn’t look like Real ‘Merica! That sign has funny-looking letters.

    • Joe Beese

      May the animal whose hide Ivanka is wearing return the favor in a better world.

    • therblig

      the 2 on the end were deemed too stupid to be hired as goons.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Get used to those horizontal stripes, Ivanka.

  • jesterpunk

    Does Roger Stone know that things he says on twitter or to reporters dont go away?

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/03/20/politics/kfile-roger-stone-wikileaks-claims/index.html

    Here’s a timeline of Stone’s statements:

    Aug. 10:

    Stone tells a local Republican Party group in Florida “I’ve actually communicated with Julian Assange.”

    Aug. 12:

    Stone says on the #MAGA podcast he believes Assange has emails deleted by Clinton aides Huma Abedin and Cheryl Mills. He adds that he knows he has them and they should be expected to drop in the next three months.

    “In fact I know [Assange] has them,” Stone said. “And I believe he will expose the American people to this information in the next 90 days.”

    Aug. 14:

    Stone engages in direct messages with DNC hacker Guccifer 2.0, according to direct messages reported by the Washington Times and The Smoking Gun. Stone tells the hacker he was “delighted” Twitter reinstated his account.

    Aug. 15:

    Stone tells World Net Daily he communicated with Assange and forthcoming material will be related to the Clinton Foundation.

    Aug. 16:

    Stone tells radio host Alex Jones he has “backchannel communications” with Assange who has “political dynamite” on the Clintons.

    Aug. 18:

    Stone says in an interview on C-SPAN he’s been in touch with Julian Assange “through an intermediary—somebody who is a mutual friend.” WikiLeaks would later tweet in response to Stone’s appearance, “We are happy to hear true information from everyone. But so far, we have not heard from Mr. Stone.”

    • Claire

      Apparently he thinks that stuff vanishes into the ether just like emails setting up Russian meetings do.

    • Joe Beese

      Stone’s as big a self-aggrandizing liar as Trump.

      Believe anything he says, even self-incriminatingly, at your peril.

      • jesterpunk

        How well does “It was just a prank bro” work in court when your sued for what you have said?

  • Pinkham’s Law
    • WY_cryptid

      At first I though those were stylized renditions of the current administration. “Drips in the White House”

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      AHHHHH, now I have to pee!

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    I wonder if Rogered Stoner’s imaginary stalker from Hillary has tried to kill him lately? Hopefully the imaginary hit man will have a golden opportunity during the deposition.

    • Vincent Ricola

      I think the imaginary stalker is currently busy with Carter Page, but I’m sure Hillary will send them after Roger Stone next.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Of course, yes, Ms. Hillary has priorities.

    • Nockular cavity

      Tell him he should now worry about the FSB. They have a pretty good record of eliminating their targets.

  • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

    Anything that annoys Roger Stone makes me happy. And I don’t think for a moment that that makes me a bad person.

  • ariel_gee_398

    It looks like doxxing enemies is a key Trump strategy: https://twitter.com/ChrisLu44/status/885894329079808001

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      oh lawd, spare us from these dummies.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      If these knobs were a little smarter, they’d be really dangerous. Instead of stupid dangerous.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Time to start sending these assholes to jail. With no possibility of parole.

      • jesterpunk

        One of those private prisons they love so much.

        • ariel_gee_398

          And they’ll be providing for their progeny – the profits from the shares they own in private prison companies can go into a trust for them.

          • jesterpunk

            Arnt they also in favor of civil asset forfeiture?

      • Dudleydidwrong

        Unless that parole includes “off the planet.” I hear Venus is delightful this time of year.

    • Oblios_Cap

      I smell lawsuits. I should have sent in a comment.

    • Claire

      Go to the @annalecta tweet and check out the replies. People are quoting the comments and they’re hilarious. Apparently someone sent in a nine-page list of Republican sex offenders.

      https://twitter.com/mayqueeeen/status/885909037354594304https://twitter.com/mayqueeeen/status/885909037354594304

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    http://billmoyers.com/story/the-trump-resistance-plan-a-timeline-russia-and-president-trump/

    This timeline was originally published on Feb. 15, 2017 and was last updated on July 11, 2017 at 5:15 p.m. ET. We update the timeline each Monday afternoon.

    1979: Roger Stone is introduced to Donald Trump by notorious attorney Roy Cohn. [Added March 27, 2017]

    1980: Roger Stone founds a lobbying practice with Paul Manafort; Trump becomes one of Stone’s first clients. In the 1980s, Trump hires Manafort as his lawyer on gambling and real estate issues. By 1988, Stone is one of Trump’s closest advisers. [Added March 27, 2017]

    It’s a long one.

  • Reximus
    • Opalescent Riddles

      Well, the 9 Jun 2016 meeting DID mention adoption, so…

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    If only there were some smoking gun like a recording of a phone call or conversation or an email arranging a meeting with representatives of the Kremlin offering to provide information on Trump’s opponent and confirming they were assisting his campaign.

    Oh wait!

  • SayItWithWookies

    Who’da thunk that Trump and Stone, with their expansive reputations as hucksters and frauds, would get themselves in this sort of trouble? It’s just proof that any rich, amoral asshole can lie his way to the top – for a while.

  • Mr. Blobfish
    • kareemachan

      I wish we had that kind of spy. I think they are cool!

      My Russian spy was a crane fly I found in my tea. Blech.

      • Me not sure

        I had one, but I SMERSHed it.

    • Spurning Beer

      Was there a prayer breakfast going on?

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      The Ruuuuuskies are “bugging” our homes now! The MONSTERS!

  • Three Finger Salute

    Am I the only one who feels really bad for anyone who has a name like Cockrum? Not exactly the same as rum and Coke…

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      heh, see Pinkham’s comment below.

      Lol.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Not as bad as Dick Chisolm though.

      • timpundit

        Dick Trickle waves hello.

        • Spurning Beer

          Mike Hunt, too.

        • DT

          I mean, their parents have to just be the worst people, right?

    • Grumpy Twat

      In my all-boys school we had two female teachers: Mrs Game and Mrs Hoare.
      Ma Game was a tough nut who took no shit from anyone.
      Mrs Hoare didn’t last long.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      If you were his lawyer, would you tell him?

      • MynameisBlarney

        If I were his lawyer, I’d fire him as a client.

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    No worries, Rog. You survived polonium, you’ll survive this.

    • Me not sure

      Roaches can do that.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    in other Trump/dummy related news:

    “President Donald Trump said the wall he wants to build on the 2,000-mile (3,200-km) U.S.-Mexico frontier may not need to cover the entire border because of existing natural barriers, according to remarks released by the White House on Thursday.

    On a flight to Paris from Washington, Trump told reporters aboard Air Force One: “You have mountains. You have some rivers that are violent and vicious. You have some areas that are so far away that you don’t really have people crossing.

    “But you’ll need anywhere from 700 to 900 miles.””

    He wants 700 to 900 miles…out of, what is it, 1,950 or so. OMG.

    • jesterpunk

      600 miles are already built too.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        lol, i literally just post that.

        (Part of that is near me)

        • jesterpunk

          Take some pics, send them to Turnip and tell him the wall is already built. He might buy it.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Take some pics, send to Turnip, and tell him the wall is already built by you. Offer to sell it to him. He might buy it.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      “The border, which stretches across four U.S. states, already has 600 miles (965 km) of barriers, including fences and walls.”

      • shastakoala

        But there’s no moat. It can’t be Trump Kingdom without a moat.

    • ManchuCandidate

      Worked out great for Imperial China Mongols and the French the Nazis.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        An incomplete transparent wall.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          …that might sort of be more like a fence in places…

          • therblig

            and “No Trespassing” signs in others

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            and it’ll be solar powered and mexico will pay for it and efferything! – DJT

        • Jenny

          So they can see and catch the drugs when they toss it over! Trump has such a mind for efficiency. No wonder all his businesses were such a success!

          ….

          Ahahahha!

      • Beanz&Berryz

        And a bunch of walled cities and forts that we’re overrun at one time or another.

      • Oblios_Cap
    • Beanz&Berryz

      Violent and vicious?

      • Jenny

        I hear it has alligators!!!

        • Major_Major_Major

          With laser-eyes, even. And don’t forget about the freshwater sharks

    • Nockular cavity

      Yes, the mighty Rio Grande. An impassable torrent.

      I’ve seen whole Mexican families, with little kids, waiting out the BP to cross, but yup, impassable.

    • Longstreet63

      He’s pretty sure no one could make it across the impassable desert that he assumes is everywhere West of El Paso.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      “Mr. Trump? Some French guy named Maginot on Line 2. Says he’s a retired foreign minister or somethin.”

    • Augustus

      There is not ever going to be any fucking wall

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        they’re getting the funding for the first 32 miles!

        • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

          Whoops, looks like all those funds were spent on big giant bulldozer equipments and whatnot!

          NO YOU CAN’T SEE THE RECEIPTS

  • ManchuCandidate

    For all their shrieking about Hilsbots emails, it would be hilarious and ironic that the Trump Admin and the GOP have a strong possibility to be strung up by Ray Tomlinson’s invention that they demonized the Hilsbot for using “illegally.”

    Also proof the universe is an equal opportunity joker with an ironic streak

  • MynameisBlarney

    This is the moment the IC should have dive-tackled the fucking traitor and thrown his ass in prison.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gNa2B5zHfbQ

  • Beanz&Berryz

    That’s more cleverly lawyering than “watch your back bitch.”

  • MynameisBlarney
    • jesterpunk

      Well that sure is a coincidence.

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Either Sessions is trolling us at this point or they have kompromat on him that makes the pee tape look like The Sound of Music.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Sessions and Pence are dirty.

        • Dudleydidwrong

          You bet!

      • Three Finger Salute

        Actually, they have something that will get him permanently exiled from the GOP.

        A recording of him being polite to a black person.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Ah, a little change. Instead of spending the weekend cheating at “playing” golf, Donnie Two Scoops is going to watch golf instead.
    (It kinda helps the tournament is at one of his courses. And it’s a women’s tournament, which appeals to him for some reason. *wink, wink*)

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      another emoluments clause violation?
      Sorry, not that – the other thing…it’s early and I’m dumb – just read the tweet.

      https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/885865609971605508

      • ariel_gee_398
        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          ah, so many routes to prison/bankruptcy.

          We should start a pool on which specific U.S.C. title and section they get busted on.

          • Longstreet63

            Laws apply to rich people? That’s crazy talk.

      • William

        Dear woman’s opens contestants. If you see a wrinkled fat guy with a shitty comb over popping a tic-tac, walk quickly to the nearest security person. Thank you and enjoy your golf game.

        • Nounverb911

          A wedge to the balls will work too, think sandtrap and swing hard.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            Pitching wedge? Sand wedge? 64-degree wedge? The choices are endless!

      • Marla

        Hopefully, son Junior will be headed off to jail.

      • Nounverb911

        Is he looking for a younger model wife yet?

    • William
      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        That divot looks like one of his tweets

      • MynameisBlarney

        Is he wearing diapers?

        • William

          I think the diaper is more of a tennis thing. (please don’t ask me to drag out the meme, I just had lunch)

        • Jenny

          I’m convinced he does. They’re way too bulky to be man panties.

        • Rags

          yes, yes he is.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Shart Guard 3000!

        • chortlingdingo

          Nah, those XXL polo shirts are super long, and it looks like he’s tucked it into his underwear.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Surprise locker room visits?

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Only if the Secret Service takes all the golf clubs out first.

    • cmd resistor

      Apparently they booked the tournament several years ago and now lots of people aren’t so happy about it. I read that some protest group plans to drive around the perimeter with large signs with quotes of some of his nasty remarks about women.

  • RevengeOfSmot

    Alright, fuck this shit. Time to shut it down. It’s Friday, and I’ve had more than my quota of Trump fuckery for the week.

    I’m getting stoned medicating, and watching Ancient Aliens. It’s Friday baby!

  • William

    I couldn’t read the whole thing. My central nervous system has been through enough this week. Excerpts From Trump’s Conversation With Journalists on Air Force One

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/13/us/politics/trump-air-force-one-excerpt-transcript.html?smid=fb-nytimes&smtyp=cur
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/125b3eff7386d93ca63d9ba55c65c8fa7b0859138f0f6640e191b98f2e02b491.jpg

  • Daniel Hooper

    Wonkette, are you having a rough day? First you start making up words like VCR and VHS, and now you’re mis-identifying Dahlia as a legal demigod. Clearly, she is a legal demigoddess. As a self appointed retail demigoddess, I’m very upset by the mid-classification.

    • Longstreet63

      I am only a semidemihemiGod* and thus I resent everyone rubbing it in my face.

      *I’m the God of Obscure Historical References to Naval Shipbuilding 1889-1901. It’s a living.

      • Daniel Hooper

        Now come on; you’re making that last one up. No one shipped things until the Internet was created.

        • Longstreet63

          They did, but it took a lot longer to get them here from China.

          (As for the Other Kind of shipping, you just have to leaf through some historical porn to see that THAT ain’t true. All kinds of mythical characters doing other mythical characters. There is nothing new under the sun, kids.)

      • Dudleydidwrong

        You mean that Amazon started in 1889? Well, I never…!

        • Longstreet63

          You must mean HMS Amazone. She was a Calliope class second class cruiser.
          It’s an easy mistake to make.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Oh you goddamned motherfucker…

    Hysterical? You say we’re getting hysterical about motherfucking treason? You fucking goddamned son of a bitch.

    All y’all are fucking complicit in this conspiracy.

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/dave-brat-we-gotten-a-little-hysterical-about-russia

  • Ryan Denniston

    Oh good, all three branches can investigate this crooked crook.

  • Marceline

    OT. Wolverine walked his indestructible ass out of the hospital and right back to the job site.

    https://twitter.com/Habitat_org/status/885846694386167809

    • Blackest Noobs

      it was probably this hospital….

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5I-QQDivADE

    • ltmcdies

      now that looks good …

      I posted the CBC story on the Carter thread but I’ll put it up here too

      http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/jimmy-carter-hospital-winnipeg-1.4204869

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      They just plug in a saline IV to re-hydrate you.

      • ltmcdies

        man is 92…that does matter even if the patient is a healthy 92.

      • Augustus

        I had no insurance once, and had to have two saline bags…

        $900 each

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          No doubt organic, free-range artisanal saline, made with hand-harvested Free Trade salt and solar-distilled water (guaranteed heavy-water free!)

    • William
      • ltmcdies

        tells us a lot about the values of conservative “Christians” doesn’t it

        • William

          Conservatives aren’t really Christians. Their agenda is completely contrary to the teachings of Christ. Conservatives have hijacked Christianity to make themselves feel better. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ed7d0e5f961a95d1045399ddb21d42e82590a5330eb056cd54d8da36e4437fc8.jpg

          • Jeandsanchez

            Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !pg183d:
            On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            !pg183d:
            ➽➽
            ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash473FinderCustomGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::!pg183l..,….

        • HooverVilles

          Yes. Yes it does!

      • nightmoth

        That’s why somebody here, I think Dok Zoom, came up with the term “christianists.” I use it a lot.

      • calliecallie

        This should go viral. Please.

    • elviouslyqueer

      He is such a badass. A very gentle, wonderful, compassionate badass.

    • PubOption

      “The guy is a terrible property developer, really terrible. Nobody pays him for the houses he builds, and he gets no kickbacks. Can’t see why is in the business. I wouldn’t let him anywhere near a Trump project.”

      • Oblios_Cap

        And he doesn’t even put his name on the buildings.

    • Rags

      I’m half his age or less and when I went in for dehydration they kept me in for twice as long. What a mensch.

      • Marceline

        Same. An overnight stay hooked up to an IV then home to sleep for two days. I was in my 20s.

    • everstar

      Can we re-elect him? He only served one term….

  • Joe Beese
  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    OT: Jamie Dimon on recorded conference call; something to the effect of “We have to get our shit together or we won’t be able to get shit done for average americans”.

    Serious question, when was the last time motherfucker saw an average american?

    • Nounverb911

      His household staff?

      • (((fka_donnie_d)))

        Yes, but when you’re that rich and that douchey you don’t actually see them. Like Anthony Hopkins said in Mask of Zorro, “Don Rafael is a true nobleman. He will never look a servant in the eye.”

    • Jenny

      He is a big picture type of guy. Lower income people pay higher fees but they need enough to own a bank account first.

  • Nounverb911

    I read on the internets that Roger desperately wants to be the next Bond, James Bond….
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/907da23b0e6dc6ee0321e615f0ab5c17d51fdaa4f123ba1c7dba058b648812a3.jpg

    • therblig

      is that from GoldenEar?

      • Oblios_Cap

        AssWipe

        • elviouslyqueer

          A View To a Shill.

      • Rags

        A quantum of bullshit.

        • Nockular cavity

          Come on, people…

          From Russia With Love.

          • Wild Cat

            You beat me!

          • thegirlwiththekittentattoo

            Tiny Goldfingers

    • Wild Cat

      OctoWussy

    • Wild Cat

      From Russia, With Glove

    • WotsAllThisThen

      The Spy Who Ratfucked Me

      • Augustus

        Bravissimo!

    • thegirlwiththekittentattoo

      Dr. Nyet

    • Three Finger Salute

      Goldshower

    • therblig

      Chunderball

    • CountryClubJihadi

      For Your Lies Only

    • Bobathonic

      Casino Royale

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      The Man With the Golden Showers
      You Only Pee Twice
      Pee Another Day

    • Mehmeisterjr

      The Turd is Not Enough

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      “I serve my Roofitini’s shaken, not stirred”

    • Celtic_Gnome

      GET YOUR FUCKING FINGER OFF THE TRIGGER UNLESS YOU PLAN TO SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE SHOULDER!

      If you are, then, please proceed.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Lest we forget. Roger Stone was a star student of ROY FUCKING COHN.

    I’m going to enjoy watching this fucker get roasted over a spit.

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    OT but I need to make a trip for fall crafting supplies. On behalf of Wonkers, thinking of going to Hobby Lobby and asking if I can get some clay for “tablets”.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Pick up some ceramic tiles for me.

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Then ask if they carry Plan B.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Plan Linear B?

    • DrBigHead

      Don’t forget to ask for the reed stylus.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        They probably have a kit

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      ‘Do you offer classes in cuneiform?’

  • Mr. Blobfish

    When she said deplorables, she meant it. When she said irredeemable, they are irredeemable. You didn’t mention that, but that might have been worse. She’s got tremendous hatred, and this country cannot take another four years of Barack Obama, and that’s what you’re getting with her.

    • YayConspiracy

      Yes, infuckingdeed.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Will you STOP THAT?

  • Oblios_Cap

    Podesta should sue because they leaked his perfect risotto recipe .

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Copyright infringement is a Federal crime. Says right there on every movie DVD

      • Celtic_Gnome

        And you can’t even fast forward through that shit. I thought this was America! Where’s my freedom?

  • Shanzgood

    OT: I think my Round 2 interview went well. I ended up talking to 4 different people, including the person I’m replacing. Mercifully, she will still be there for training. IF I get the job.

    • YayConspiracy

      Good luck!

    • Walter Wellstone

      You go, gurl!

    • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

      fingers and toes crossed!

      • MynameisBlarney

        And my eyes!

    • Sophia

      Yes! Good luck

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Get that job! Get that job! Woohoo! And whether you get it or not Baconz should still fix you a special dinner

      • Shanzgood

        He’ll have to do that next time I see him since he’s back at home now.

        • Oblios_Cap

          You showed us that picture of him taking off on the broom.

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          What, already?

          • Shanzgood

            Yes, well, it was almost a week and he has a job and kids and everything so he had to go back at SOME point.

            Swear to god, though, next time I’m making him take the train.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      we’re rootin’ for ya!

      • Shanzgood

        Thanks! Same to you!

    • janecita

      Not “IF,” “WHEN!” Positive thoughts!

      • Shanzgood

        Ok, I’ll try! I should send them a thank you email this afternoon…

        • janecita

          Yes, that’s always a good idea.

        • DrBigHead

          Absolutely.

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          Definitely. Small thing, but they add up.

        • EvilHRLady

          definitely-and reiterate how interested you are in the position.

    • Three Finger Salute
    • Sakonyachen

      Best of luck to you.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    If a federal judge accepts that the plaintiffs have standing to sue for the damages done to them, then the discovery process for the case will require Team Trump to turn over documents and depositions to address whether the Trump campaign actually did work with the Russian effort to deploy hacked emails against Hillary Clinton, along the way doing real damage to the three plaintiffs and others.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4aa565e1174efc18b53d6d0731b04e44387ed0923e5bb1b073cda95f6faa516e.jpg

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Kushner is upset that the WH isn’t defending him enough. Poor baby.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Since the information remains available on the searchable Wikileaks database

    Fuck you, Julian Ass-anger. Fuck you very fucking much, you fucking fuck.

    • BearLeft

      Well put.

    • Wild Cat

      Amy Goodman can use a good fuck, too.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Don’t be so juvenile!
      It’s Ass-mange! Not Ass-anger!

  • Crystalclear12

    A White House aide just got sent to buy more shredders, no doubt.

    • jesterpunk

      “If Russia or any other country or person has Donald Trump’s illegally deleted emails, perhaps they should share them with the FBI!”

  • OneYieldRegular

    Any moment now I expect Junior to tweet out that okay, sure, yes, so there was a Russian hacker at the meeting, but we only asked him there because we wanted him do some hacking to find Hillary’s 33,000 emails.

    • janecita

      Don’t give him any ideas!

    • BearLeft

      One of the saddest aspects of the whole affair is that this clan is just too fucking stupid to understand that self-interest and treason are not mutually exclusive.

  • Reximus
  • Claire

    A couple of Nice Times.

    First, imagine the amount of spit Trump must have ingested last night at Jules Verne.

    Second:

    https://twitter.com/AlegreNecaxista/status/885899189678292996

  • BearLeft

    Nice to see a little fancy lawyerin’ for the good guys for a change, instead of the latest claim that prohibitions on beating small children senseless with a giant concrete cross are an abridgment of religious liberties.

  • janecita

    OT sort of, I don’t know why, but I have a visceral dislike for Jared Kushner. I can’t wait for that slimy, dead eyed, nepotism recipient idiot to fall hard!

    • DrBigHead

      Its that smug smirk that seems to be always on his face.

      • Serai 1

        Goddess love the Germans for their ability to pinpoint everything:

        Backpfeifengesicht

        • Le Chapeau

          Well, hell, in German you just keep adding syllables until you have it pinpointed. Doesn’t matter how many.

    • Shanzgood

      I can’t get over that people think he’s HOT!

      • Oblios_Cap

        You mean people like Evan?

        • Shanzgood

          I wasn’t gonna name names…

          • Yr. Gma

            It’s a sickness. We need to get some evangelists to lay hands on him and pray it away.

          • Shanzgood

            Ack! Inappropriate touching!!! Personal bubble!!!

          • commatoes

            I practise atheist faith healing if that will help. Basically, I jest tell you that you feel better.

      • janecita

        Right? He is unfuckable.

      • cmd resistor

        I find him very vapid looking. Could even be an android or something.

      • Lily412

        I not afraid to admit that he’s attractive in a conventional way, but he’s definitely not my type for dudes.

      • commatoes

        IKR, he strikes me as the perfect casting choice for one of the choirboys in “Lord of the Flies”.

        ETA: I just realised who he reminded me of. He looks like a grown up version of the young Voldemort from “Chamber of Secrets”.

      • Le Chapeau

        To me he looks like the last douchenozzle you wanted to see when discovering who your roommate was at college.

        • Shanzgood

          I had a private res but I get it. I lived in a studio apartment next door to a bunch of SCA people who didn’t know how to clean the shared bathroom EVER or how to not scream during sex and didn’t GET a choice.

    • BigCSouthside

      He looks like a sentient Old Navy mannequin. Plus I hate silver spoon cocksuckers who think they are the best at everything

      • Lily412

        I was thinking J Crew…

    • Serai 1

      I don’t care what reality says – as far as I’m concerned, he will always sound like Gilbert Gottfried.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SsFME-MTiA

      • janecita

        I love John Oliver so much!

      • commatoes

        Maybe his high voice is due to forgetting to retrieve his testicles from Ivanka’s purse.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Evan apparently has not gotten over his hatecrush on the hellspawn that is Damien Luthor. We need to send him moar sexxxy hi-res pix of Barry Bamz, Prince Truheart and Garçon Macron, so he’ll have to make space on his mental hard drive and toss Ashton Kushner in the trash can where he belongs.

      • janecita

        Evan has terrible taste in men.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Well, except for those other three, whom we all love and adore. 75% winning.

    • OrG

      I know why.

    • commatoes

      Why?

      He only bears a striking resemblance to an entitle, constipated, douche. I don’t need to know if he is actually constipated.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • WotsAllThisThen

      Makes sense, none of his previous wives could produce offspring qualified to inherit the throne.

      • IHaveThoughts

        Also: the problem might not have been with the mothers but rather with the father.

        • insolenttomato

          Based on your comment, I’m wondering if you’re familiar with speculation about Henry having McLeod’s syndrome?

  • nightmoth

    Anybody who brags to Alex Jones about anything should be put in jail for something, even if it’s just spitting on the sidewalk, and held until he breaks and confesses all.

  • Three Finger Salute

    OT: Forget about Rodge and Chump for about 20min. Michelle Obama looked fit and fabulous as always, appearing at this week’s ESPN awards to give the Arthur Ashe Award for Courage to Eunice Kennedy Shriver. Eunice’s son Tim accepted the award on his late mother’s behalf for her founding of Special Olympics.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iog6IO8PWqM

    • Serai 1

      She’s got such great style. Look at that dress – a little flirty sexiness, but still dignified and beautiful. What fantastic taste she’s got. *sigh*

      • Three Finger Salute

        Thankfully, I made sure to block the comment section on YouTube awhile back. I don’t even want to know what people are saying about her there. Nothing but pure jealousy consumes them, that’s for sure.

        She was and is this generation’s Jackie. Graceful, intelligent, and an inspiration for all girls and women, but especially young women of color.

        I miss her and Barack so much. 🤴🏾 👸🏾

        • nightmoth

          X2! I will never forgive all the assholes who didn’t appreciate her, who, in fact, said vicious racist things about her. I admire her so very, very much.

        • Serai 1

          I don’t have a problem ignoring the comments on YT. If I think they’re going to be assholes, I just don’t look below the Notes section.

        • commatoes

          I find it ironic that if you exclude the fact that the Obamas are black, every GOPer would cream their shorts because they are the f**king personification of American Exceptionalism.

  • Reximus
    • BigCSouthside

      I like to imagine Hillary like Helen Mirren in RED, nonchalantly wasting people and then joking about it

      • commatoes

        I thought that was a weird casting choice.

        I was so very, very, wrong.

    • MynameisBlarney

      She is the Queen of the Ninjas after all.

    • Serai 1

      *sigh* There goes Hillary again, with her damn incompetence. How did she ever get so far?

    • armed_bears

      Ha! I wish! (with votes).

  • Serai 1

    Damn, those are some serious cojones. If they pull this off, Trump and all his minions could be BURIED in lawsuits for the rest of their lives.

    • Dutchman

      And may those lives be short and torturous….ummmm….with votes, of course.

  • OrG

    I would really really really like it if that prick roger stone went to prison.

    • Wild Cat

      Haven’t the men already in prison suffered enough?

      • OrG

        We could build a special prison for the tRump crime family. A BIG one.

    • commatoes

      Trump is dumb enough to pardon him immediately, because like Flynn “He’s a good guy.”

  • William

    Thank you President Trump. Now, because of your leadership and foresight, Americans can go about their days completely free of the terrible fear of getting hit with a bag of drugs. https://www.facebook.com/RiseUpAndResist/videos/1525226764187210/

  • Jenny

    One of my obnoxious coworkers just came to tell me that the 13th Doctor will be announced Sunday.

    Before I could respond he adds, “I hope it’s not a woman. Women ruin everything, and I’d never watch Doctor Who again.”

    Me: “that’s why you’re single. Bye.”

    • Oblios_Cap

      MGTOW!

      • Jenny

        He totally is. His one and only girlfriend broke his heart at 29. He’s almost 50 and still isn’t over it. He complains no one will date him and he wants to date but women are so terrible etc.

        I’ve suggested therapy. He would rather play with guns. Totally NORMAL!

        • MynameisBlarney

          Oh god…
          He sounds like a goddamned nutjob.

          • Jenny

            My coworkers told me I was hired to be his office wife. The fact I’m mostly competent was just a bonus.

            I think it might be true. The guy is notoriously difficult to work with. I’m constantly called on to talk to him to get him on board with whatever crap he doesn’t want to do.

            I’m nice to him most of the time to try and keep the peace but made it clear I don’t date coworkers and he isn’t my type.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Is it possible he could be one of those self-hating closet cases who takes out his internal frustrations on women, because he’s insecure about and ashamed of the likelihood that he’s not wired to be attracted to them?

          • Jenny

            I think he is. He runs a business with a couple of gay men and he is always at “their orgies” but he is totes straight. He swears!

            He grew up 7th Day Adventist. He is effed up.

          • Le Chapeau

            He sounds like one Big Barrel O’ Issues.

          • Celtic_Gnome
          • MynameisBlarney

            Ugh…that sounds fucking awful.

          • commatoes

            So you’re not made of lifelike silicone with a posable inner armature.

        • Shanzgood

          It’s a self-fulfilling prophesy. They talk so often about how terrible women are that those are the only ones who don’t go out of their way to avoid them. QED, women are terrible.

        • janecita

          His only girlfriend is one lucky woman. I’m glad she didn’t marry him.

          • Marsupial99

            She probably doesn’t even know about her near-miss!

          • Celtic_Gnome

            The rest of us feel the same way. I’m sure we’re all better off with this guy’s potential progeny locked safely away in his testicles (or tube socks).

        • Major_Major_Major

          Somehow I think even Rosie Palm turns him down most nights.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            He has to pour a beer on his hand to get it drunk

          • Le Chapeau

            Rosie Palm and her five sisters!

        • commatoes

          I wonder if he visits MRA websites/forums or has a creepy shrine to his ex in his bedroom.

    • MynameisBlarney

      “I hope it’s not a woman. Women ruin everything…”

      http://i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/mobile/000/005/545/ruserious.jpg

      • Shanzgood

        Gal Gadot fucked up that superhero movie she was in. Should have cast someone like Chris Pine instead.

        • janecita

          I’m sorry, but Robin Wright was the best thing about that movie. I find Gal Gadot beautiful, but mediocre.

          Ps. Chris Pine, is still the best Chris.

          • Shanzgood

            Oh, yeah. I was just being an asshole but I guess it didn’t work very well!

          • Le Chapeau

            Sarcasm doesn’t scan well on los intertubos.

          • Shanzgood

            Yeah, it’s cool.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            I liked Gal. I don’t think the movie was the groundbreaking end all- be all that some raved it was, but it was definitely an improvement from the last few DC products.

          • commatoes

            Many of the Amazon training scenes were NOT cgi. The found specialis to do the stunts.

        • natoslug

          I haven’t seen it yet, but I’m guessing any romantic scenes between Steve Trevor and Wonder Woman would have had a very different approach . . .

          • Shanzgood

            Yeah, twincest is a special genre I think.

    • janecita

      I hope that the new Doctor is a black lesbian.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Doubtful, since they had just cast Bill as Capaldi’s companion

    • Angry Red Bird DGAF

      Sorry but your coworker is an asshole.
      One does not simply stop watching the doctor.

    • jesterpunk
    • Thiazin Red

      I always have such mixed feelings about new doctors. It can be sad because I like the current Doctor (except 10, I was ready to see the back of 10 when he left), but its also exciting to see what the new actor brings to it.

      • Shanzgood

        Nine (“Every Planet has a north!”) is still me favorite since we couldn’t keep McGann as #8.

        • The Wanderer

          The Time War mini-episode featuring McGann made me squee a bit.

        • Marsupial99

          There are a LOT of years (& still counting) of 8/McGann in the Big Finish audiobooks!

          • May I suggest:

            Storm Warning
            The Stones of Venice
            The Chimes of Midnight

      • janecita

        You don’t like David Tennant?

      • nightmoth

        I liked 10, 11, and 12 after I got used to the new series but children, I am SO OLD that my favorite is still Tom Baker.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        What’s wrong With David Tennant? I actually preferred him to Matt Smith.

        • Jenny

          Matt Smith wasn’t my first doctor but I adored him because he reminded me of my son. Not sure what that says about me, or my son, or Smith, but the goofy mind changing in mid statement, quirky blunt yet nice truth statements, and silly hats is such a young boy thing.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            My first was Capaldi- I got into it real recently and had to do a bunch of binge watching to get caught up. To me, Capaldi is “my doctor” just because he was first (then I had to do a ton of homework to figure out WTF was going on). I haven’t watched anything prior to 2005 yet, so can’t comment about any of them.Lat night I just watched the whole 3 part episodes re: River Song as [SPOILERS] and how she was raised to [SPOILERS], so I now understand her backstory and how she got her name, lol. Big big thing with Matt is he just seems a bit young and goofy compared to the others, though you’re right about the quirkiness being fun.

          • commatoes

            Now Alex Kingston would have made a kick ass Doctor.

      • commatoes

        I was told that the first Doctor that brings you to watch the show will always be “your Doctor”.

        I watched the show as a little kid on PBS and Tom Baker (of the long scarf and red velvet overcoat) will be my favorite. Other actors have their own strong points. 9 was the former soldier, “I’ve seen a lot of evil crap, I’m fed up, but making everyone around me feel crappy is a dick move.” 10 was the smart ass that was fun to be around but got shit done when called upon. 11 was like a shiny new coin; just fascinated with everything. 12 was very much like Hartnell and Pertwee, good hearted but grumpy curmudgeons.

        • The Wanderer

          My first Doctor was Tom Baker, too.

        • 1. “The Wizard of Oz”
          2. The Interstellar Hobo (Troughton modeled his character on Chaplin’s “Little Tramp”)
          3. The Special Agent
          4. The Galactic Bohemian
          5. The Cricket-Playing Gentleman
          6. The Mad Scientist
          7. The Chessmaster
          8. The Romantic Hero (e.g. Lord Byron)
          9. The Survivor (tough to call; he wasn’t in the role long enough)
          10. The Lonely God
          11. The Junior Professor
          12. The Good-Hearted Curmudgeon

        • SeeTrain65

          Tom Baker was the one I always thought of as The Doctor. And then I saw him as the Sea Captain in the “Potato” episode of Black Adder II and said, “Oh, Damn, he’s just a damn good actor. Okay, then.”

          Even so, the rebirth has been fantastic, though I can’t watch any more thanks to … ahem, finances (BBC America costs much Ameros here), but I’ve been very entertained by David Tennant, Matt Smith and Peter Capaldi all the same.

          The only one I dismiss … Peter Cushing in Doctor Who and the Daleks. I even accept John Hurt in the one special. I love Cushing in many other things, but he’s not The Doctor and never will be. Sorry.

          • commatoes

            I’m lucky. In Canada, Doctor Who is carried by Space™ the Canadian scifi/genre channel and is included with most basic cable packages. I wonder if you can stream it, as myself being a Rogers Cable subscriber, I have access to the show online. You might be able to access BBC America’s streaming service simply be being a cable subscriber.

            Peter Cushing? Radio play?

          • SeeTrain65

            Not mine. Spectrum’s levels put BBC America in a premium level. Used to have it, but when the price was jacked up to over $150 a month, we went to the more basic system at around $90. They do have a streaming service, too, but you can only get the channels you pay for, so I’m screwed both ways.

            I heard about the radio play, too, but never actually heard it. It’s one of those things you get when you’re a colony of the British empire, I guess.

          • commatoes

            I have heard in the Net Neutrality debate that many areas in the US have a single cable/high speed provider. So, you will be screwed over but thankfully it will be done repeatedly by a single corporation. And you are permitted to hope that they will be gentle. Though, I am aware of some less than legal methods of viewing 😉, but have ethical issues with “free riding” as I have some friends that work in TV that have informed me how expensive a production can be.

            BBC.com has a membership service for people outside of the UK but I have not looked into it very closely. They ask for your location so the service is probably funded by directed advertising.

          • SeeTrain65

            That’s right. Small towns, you usually have one choice. Mine is Spectrum. It’s Spectrum or find another way to spend your time … which, incidentally, wouldn’t actually be a bad idea.

    • commatoes

      He probably hated the fact that Gomez did such a great job as “The Mistress”.

      I was told once that there are only two jobs that are gender specific.
      1. Wet Nurse
      2. Sperm donor

      Everything else is up for grabs.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        I thought Gomez was a hoot- she did a bangup job in the role

        • The Wanderer

          Missy had the right combination of malevolence and sheer lunacy that made her perfect.

      • Le Chapeau

        Nice.

      • Jenny

        He loved The Mistress cuz it was the Master but not really. That’s different though because that isn’t the Doctor!

        • commatoes

          Ironic as, unlike mistress/master, doctor is gender neutral.

          Beside, while it was always inferred, Missy and the General (Hell Bent) makes it on screen cannon. So suck it up you 50 yo fanboy. I wonder what his reaction was to John Boyega’s casting as a Storm Trooper. Or is his indignation purely toward women treading on hallowed ground.

          • Jenny

            Oh he hated John Boyega. He hated TFA, period, cause it killed his book collection of shit star wars books. If he isn’t bitching about people trying to PC the Doctor, or no women acknowledging his existence,then he bitches about how Disney ruined Star Wars.

            I

      • Boojum

        Wet nurses and sperm donors are pretty much up for grabs, too.

    • SeeTrain65

      In that case, I hope it’s Rosie O’Donnell. Or Hillary.

      I’ve always hoped for Idris Elba, but that’s not happening because he’s going to be the new James Bond.

      WHOOPS! ; )

    • commatoes

      I just got the notice. Tell your coworker that his days of watching Doctor Who are over. The new Doctor will be played by Jodie Wittaker (possessing a vag!). Ugh, a thought just occurred to me. What if he starts writing fanfiction where he is the companion and has sexy time with the Doctor. Annoying to oh, so very creepy.

  • MynameisBlarney

    This is some TOTES SRS thot plickening shit right here.

    https://www.democraticunderground.com/10141820797

  • Snark Tank Full of Resistance
    • nightmoth

      Geez—I didn’t know a jury had convicted her! But I guess since the government lawyer lied to them about what it took to convict—geez louise.

      • Smibo

        But, but, how could anyone not laugh when “…Sen. Richard Shelby (R-Ala.) claimed Sessions had a “clear and well-documented” record of “treating all Americans equally under the law.””? HA HA HA hahahahah….

        • Boojum

          I would have snorted my coffee.

  • BadKitty904
  • Komsumverweigerer Ron

    IANAL, but if this goes ahead, does not the evidence discovered become available to Mueller afterwards?

    • Three Finger Salute

      You anal? TMI, bro…

      • Boojum

        I, Robot has certainly changed over the years.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Everything in discovery should become fair game

    • Le Chapeau

      Unless under court seal, the case should be open to the public. And Mueller could probably get past a court seal anyway.

      • BillEGoatSmirk

        The defense will ask for a protective order or gag order of some kind (like with the tax returns that Timothy O’Brien saw when Trump sued him unsuccessfully for defamation). But Mueller will have no problem getting over that hurdle one way or another.

        • Le Chapeau

          Mueller already has authority to see Don’s tax returns, doesn’t even have to notify Trump.

    • Boojum

      As a matter of fact, it is very likely that there will be a direct pipeline from Plaintiff’s counsel to Mueller.

  • Proud Liberal

    How could they not have standing? There is clear damage here.

  • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

    When they win, Trump will stiff them on the judgment.

    • The Wanderer

      Then I want to see all of his assets confiscated, and his childrens’ assets as well if he’s trying to use them to hide the money.

  • BadKitty904
    • Shanzgood

      I AM SO FUCKING SICK OF HIS FACE

      • BadKitty904

        As are all REAL Americans…

      • Boojum

        Until I saw his face! Now I’m a bit queasy!

      • HooverVilles

        That ever present smirk. Ugh!

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    The Trumpkins are gonna find out pretty soon that “I have a New York Lawyer” isn’t a very persuasive legal argument.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    If this works it will take ALL the fun out of political hacking.

    • Proud Liberal

      It sure will and that is a good thing!

    • Regret

      You know how you can prevent hacking from being a thing?
      Make mandatory openness inversely related to power.
      You want privacy? That is easy, just avoid positions of power.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    “I only betrayed the country a LITTLE BIT, but it was to take out that EMAIL MONSTER HILLARY!!!1”

    This is where there is an eluded reference to perhaps some kind of capital punishment that would befall our speaker above goes.

    *fade out*

    This has been Skating Too Close To The Line Slashfic Theater, sponsored by Doktor Mjolnir’s Classic Banhammers. Also be sure to try I CAN Believe It’s Totally Ideating Powdered Milk Mix, in your grocers secret dreamcabinet!

  • Three Finger Salute

    (Slightly?) OT: The glitz-and-ditz-ification of politics continues. Raw Story, with help from Newsweek, has compiled a shortlist of Mountain Dew Camachos who could enter the political realm in the post-Trump era, because they’ve got what Russian plants crave.

    Hollywood on the Potomac: 11 celebrities who could follow Trump into politics

  • Panika MCD

    it’s worth mentioning that a civil case has a lower burden of proof to go to trial than a criminal case. poor little Trumpster fires like Roger Stone are used to criminal indictments. oops.

    • The Wanderer

      And the (monetary) penalties can quickly add up!

    • Gregory Purcell

      I believe Trump has been a party to over 1600 lawsuits.

      • BillEGoatSmirk

        And that 3500-plus number was pre-election. (I believe there were about 50 still pending as of 1/20/17) Since then, the number of lawsuits against him, his campaign, or his administration is already well into triple digits. Everything from the Muslim Ban injunctions to the inciting violence case in Kentucky to the CREW lawsuit for violations of the Emoluments Clause.

  • azeyote

    hope tax returns are a part of the discovery –

    • SeeTrain65

      The way this stuff is shaping up, getting his tax returns would be low-hanging fruit compared to their other numerous crimes.

  • Khavrinen

    “the release of the emails violates Washington DC’s privacy laws, as well as a Reconstruction-era federal law against conspiracies to intimidate voters from participating in the democratic process, a law put in place to prevent harassment from the KKK.”

    At last something important for the Trump administration to get right to work on: repealing that annoying anti-conspiracy law that is oppressing those poor KKK members.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    Overreaction much, Roger Stone ? And you know who else often files ridiculous frivolous lawsuits ? Donald Trump (or at least, he threatens to do so.)

    • C4TWOMAN

      Those are called “LOLsuits”.

      • Boojum

        I can haz suit burger nao, pleez?

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    I see Roger Stone is still casting his long shadow, huh? Stone’s like the Wizard of Oz only ten times as fraudulent.

  • Gregory Purcell

    Fantastic, now the Democratic establishment must prove, the Russians hacked the DNC and there was collusion with the Trump campaign.

    • DesertedPictures

      Yeah: that seems soooooo difficult….

  • Le Chapeau

    Be sure to keep us informed on this one, Dok.

  • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

    Between Stone and Trey Gowdy, I think we have found the Pesto Twins! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f73fed14f9c9c8b5631f740d5796fdbbf7c5fb5947716223196b5140c5fcd321.png

    • Thumbs up for the Bob’s Burgers reference!

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      ollie and andy libelz!

      (did you know they’re voiced by sarah silverman and her sister? I didn’t)

      • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

        Yeah; it’s amazing took at some of the guest voices in the credits. I mean, Kevin Kline as Mr. Fishoeder!

  • Bitter Scribe

    “But if there’s nothing wrong with being gay, then no one should worry about anyone telling the world they’re gay, right?”

    –Every disingenuous homophobic asshole, ever

    • Boojum

      Quickly followed by an anonymous “Die faggot!”

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Here’s hoping Mr. Stone has something nice to wear for his deposition. Might want to avoid those ensembles that make him look like a gangster or comic book supervillian.

    I’d also avoid anything backless. Richard Nixon still isn’t that well-liked among the Washington judicial set.

  • Jeandsanchez

    Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !pg183d:
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    !pg183d:
    ➽➽
    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash473FinderCustomGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::!pg183l..,…..

  • Boojum

    This is exactly how Bill Clinton got perjury trapped by Ken Starr. Paula Jones’ lawyers were coordinating strategy with Starr. What’s sauce for Bubba is sauce for Drumpf.

  • lovelydestruction
Previous articleTrump Junior’s (New) Russian Spy? Just A Russian Hacker. TOTALLY NORMAL!
Next articleTrump’s (ALLEGEDLY!) Drunky Lawyer Seems Nice