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Measure twice, cut once, and hydrate today for a better tomorrow.

Jimmy Carter was building a Habitat for Humanity house in Winnipeg this morning, just generally being his badass 92-year-old best-former-presidential self and cutting some wood for a staircase with a handsaw, when he collapsed due to dehydration and was rushed to a hospital. Carter had been working in the sun for about an hour with his wife and best pal Rosalynn, according to a witness. His bodyguards took him to a nearby vehicle, and then an ambulance got him to St. Boniface Hospital.

A Habitat for Humanity spokesperson said the hospital trip was a precaution, and Carter said he was feeling fine while he stayed there for observation:

“He’s asked us to continue with our day,” said Jonathan Reckford, CEO for Habitat for Humanity International.

“He encourages everyone to stay hydrated and keep building.”

The Carters were in Winnipeg as part of a Habitat for Humanity “blitz” aimed at building 150 houses across Canada to celebrate Canada’s 150th anniversary.

President Carter had gone to Canada to promote — and of course, build — affordable housing in the face of rising housing costs:

“Housing affordability in Canada is at an all-time low. We are proud supporters of Habitat for Humanity and grateful to everyone who is joining us in our efforts to bring affordable housing to families across the country,” Carter said.

You know who has stamina? That guy with the hammer in his hand. You don’t see him taking every weekend to golf, and he’s damn sure not going to take a golf cart when all the other world leaders are walking. Jimmy’s got Sunday School to teach, and houses to build, and for that matter, cancer’s ass to kick. Get well soon, Mr. Carter, rest up some, and we’ll see you back at the work site soon.

Just remember your damn water bottle, Mr. Macho, jeez.

And now it’s your open thread!

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader contributions, so click the buttons below to fund us! Also, we bet Jimmy Carter could kick all our asses.

[CBC / Image credits: Habitat for Humanity]

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  • schmannity

    Doesn’t even put his name on the houses. What a loser. Sad.

    –You know who

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Lord Voldemort?

      • JCfromNC

        Nah, Voldemort’s comments would be more along the lines of how these houses just encourage “those people” to live in your neighborhood.

        Wait, the “You know who” above would probably say that, too. Okay, I’ll accept that answer.

  • Bub, the truculent Zombie

    Second time Jimmy has been here in Winnipeg building houses. Hmmm…maybe they could get Donnie to do something like this as a probation condition?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Would you want to live in such a house?

      • Bub, the truculent Zombie

        Good point.

  • WIDTAP

    See Jimmy, this is the downside of not being a drinking man.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “Too soon.”
      — Billy

  • msanthropesmr
    • msanthropesmr

      Bean sez stay indoors and lie on the furniture. It’s much easier on your constitution.

      • doktorzoom

        Bean is a hound of wisdom.

    • schmannity

      That dog needs a jerb. Always lying around the house, free health care and food.

      • msanthropesmr

        His job is being cute and lowering my blood pressure

  • Ryan Denniston

    Cmon Jimmy, you’re gonna build in Canada when we got American Carnage right here?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      He could build an Alternative White House on the South Lawn.

  • Scooby

    How did Evangelicals abandon this guy in favor of Reagan?

    • Nockular cavity

      Are you kidding? Carter’s a Christian! RUN AWAY!

      • Villago Delenda Est

        An actual Christian, not a Mammon worshiping racist asshole. You know, like Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Black people.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Actual answer: Skwerl pretty much has it right. The “Moral Majority” was formed because Jimmy Carter saw all these “Christian Academies” springing up that were basically a tax protected dodge to get snowflake white kids away from the desegregated public schools. So Carter went after their tax exemptions. He knew a shady dodge when he saw one, and a profoundly un-Christian one, at that.

      • Scooby

        I rember he threatened to revoke the Mormons tax exemption if they didn’t allow black to become priests. I think after that Mormons became Republicans.

      • Pierre_de_Fermat

        Carter came up in the segregated South. The Navy probably had a significant effect on him, but the good man was always there. He was (and is) very much a part of the South; he wasn’t fooled by those so-called “Christians”, and they knew it.

  • Wontium

    I was listening to this on the radio this morning thinking, “Oh c’mon, please tell me we did not just kill Jimmy Carter.” Very relieved that he’s alright.

  • lucidamente

    Reached for comment, Donald Trump said, “What a pussy! And the houses he builds are cheap and ugly.”

    • Bobathonic

      Needz moar gold everywhere.

      • “M”

        “Dictator Chic”

        Scarily, that’s really a thing

    • OutOfOrbit

      Saying so could get that OPOS . . . . . .

      *Banhammered*

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Look, Mr. President. It’s great that you want to keep doing good works. Love it.
    But, could you maybe not scare us? I mean, you shuffling off would be bad enough. But then Donnie Two Scoops trying to eulogize you?

  • Ryan Denniston
    • kaydenpat

      May the next one be him being perp-walked to the nearest prison.

      • bupkus231

        Pleez, pleez, pleez, pleez….

      • “M”

        If it happened five minutes from now that still wouldn’t be soon enough.

        (I think they widened his nose and lifted his cheeks in the Photoshop department, too. I didn’t know they let Republicans in the art department.)

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Jimmy and Roslyn are among the select few people I see who seem to get what that Yeshua bin Miryam cat was preachin’ on.

  • Jennifer R

    A friend found a small error in my game. And I was able to take the log she gave me and find the error instantly, AND EVEN knew what to do to fix it! Sometimes I don’t feel like an utter useless fool.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef
      • Jennifer R

        It was just a small error. The sell option for the silver amulet you can find was calling the wrong button in the logic so nothing was showing up for it if you had the amulet to sell.

        • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

          That is a small, but definitely frustrating, error.

        • C4TWOMAN

          Well, that’s easy for you to say! How many times have I tried to offload silver amulets and merchants were like, “sorry can’t find the specs” or gave me “we never buy those” bs.
          This was all your fault!

          So, I’ve got a couple dozen buried in a chest somewhere….unless someone’s arranged for a troll to dig it up….
          *hairy eyeball*

          • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

            Troll? No, I would never hire a troll for that.
            (Don’t ask about the dwarf. Don’t ask about the dwarf…)

  • whitroth

    Been saying for more than 20 years, best ex-President in my lifetime.

    • Daniel Hooper

      Well, until January I would’ve agreed with you 100%. He’s got some competition now, though.

    • DrBigHead

      First President I was able to vote for. Did so proudly and without regret.

      • SisterArtemis

        First one for me but I voted communist because they were running Angela Davis for VP, and she was one hawt revolutionary chick back then. I was scared of Carter cuz of the Trilateral Commission stuff, but he ended up being one of my faves.

      • bupkus231

        And still think assholes who diss him are, well, assholes…

  • CripesAmighty

    Take breaks, Mr. President. We REAAAALLLY need you to stick around awhile.
    (Who loves ya, Pres. Jimmeh? Everybody!)

    • “M”

      Everybody!

  • hudson srinivasan

    this guy is a true, good christian. i hope jesus himself comes down one day to take him.

    aside, if jesus makes it a weekend trip, mebbe he can take some time to kick cruz and sundry fake tv christians or atleast put the fear of god in them.

    • SisterArtemis

      He’d probably take up a hammer for Habitat for Humanity too. Damn, wish that guy was real.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Jimmy means well, but he’s not some 70 year old spring chicken any more.

    • hudson srinivasan

      whats the point of life if you cannot pretend that you are a 70 years spring chicken anymore?

    • The Wanderer

      There are times when I forget I’m closing in on 56 and think I’m 25 again.

  • marxalot

    I got my official email from the Editrix about giving them the whore diamonds, so I’m right chuffed!
    Someone tell Mr Carter that in order to be strong enough to care for others, he must take the time to care for himself, pls. The world still needs the only man to ever use the Presidency as a jumping-off point to a larger career in public service.

  • So, a rep from a company I do business with — just on a personal level, by no means something through work, or anything like that — heard about the bronchitis and sent me a recipe for Avgolemono, a light soup he promised would cure what ails me. It was super-easy to prepare, and was exactly what I needed. I feel like I’ve had something to eat, but I don’t feel like I’m going to die because I tried to eat.

    That’s good customer service!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      This is how business is SUPPOSED to be conducted. Not as an impersonal transaction, but as human being reaching out to human being, for mutual benefit.

      Obviously not something your Trump Crime Syndicate has the slightest clue about.

    • Rags

      That is an awesome summer soup. How bout submitting the recipe to this mommyblog?

  • Daniel Hooper

    How much you want to bet that if Trump sees this, he’ll think Carter’s a fool for not charging rent on those charitable homes?

    • kaydenpat

      And for letting Black and Brown people live in them.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    I for one salute our peanut-farming, solar-farm planting, Amishlike house-raisin’ overlords.

  • ariel_gee_398

    Oh come on.

    “To address concerns that Cruz’s amendment would lower prices for the young and healthy by making them skyrocket for the people who need a comprehensive insurance plan or have a pre-existing condition, the amendment purports to allocate billions in additional funding that states could use “to assist such health insurance issuers in covering high risk individuals.”

    But as Sen. Susan Collins (R-ME) told reporters on Thursday, there is no additional money. Instead, the amendment takes money already appropriated in the bill for other needs and says it can be used for these payments to insurers under the Cruz Amendment.”

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/dc/senate-republicans-double-dip-obamacare-repeal

    • CripesAmighty

      The ‘Three-Card-Monty’ plan.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Two cards shy of a full monty.

        • Major_Major_Major

          Any association of Oily Ted and the Full Monty , no matter how inadvertent, should be punished. Heidi and the Cruzlets are in complete agreement. those kids are gonna be seriously PTSD if they ever walk in on Daddy giving Mummy a “massage”.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      “Okay, you can have the money for high risk pools. Or you can have it for opioid treatment. You can’t have it for both.”

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      If I give you $75 and tell you to treat yourself, I get to take credit for gifting you new gold earrings, a good pair of sneakers, a couple pairs of Levi’s, a nice dinner out for two, AND two tickets to an amusement park.

    • bupkus231

      As it is, the number I read was $200B.

      I’m sorry, but $200 billion is nowhere near enough ( and for someone who criticized the auto industry bailout, Cruz is completely hypocritical here ( surprise! ), giving money to the insurance industry, not “loaning” it ).

      Will someone please punch this asshole in the face a few thousand times?

  • Tiffany de Houston

    President Carter is an absolutely fabulous example of what “presidential” really is and should be. I love that guy!

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    My wife introduced me to the joys of people being mean to Gwyneth Paltrow. I especially like it when they’re funny about it, too.

    In a country where some people can’t afford access to proper gynecological care, it is worth pointing out that it’s an embarrassment of qu’ils mangent de la brioche proportions that there is a 4,000-person waiting list for $66 pussy rocks because an actress said “this is a thing we’re doing now.”

    https://theoutline.com/post/1394/the-unbearable-wrongness-of-gwyneth-paltrow

    • OutOfOrbit

      Whut are “pussy rocks”?

      • UncleTravelingMatt
        • Courser_Resistance

          Um… I once stuck Ben-Wa balls up there. And had a devil of the time getting them out. It was not enjoyable in any way.

          • OutOfOrbit

            How was it up until you were done having them “up there”?

          • Courser_Resistance

            Nothingburger. Didn’t do much. Probably was doing it wrong, it’s not like they come with instructions.

          • OutOfOrbit

            Me not sure but donut think benwa balls were designed for whoope. Electric eggs not new. Did know a couple who were THIS CLOSE to going to ER to remove a stuck 8 ball (from a pool table). I heard that.

      • Bub, the truculent Zombie

        If you have to ask, you aren’t on the waiting list.

      • Ωbjectifier
        • OutOfOrbit

          I did not clickit.

          • Ωbjectifier

            Ask a psychopath and that’s the answer you get.

    • Thiazin Red

      Based on the pussy rocks, the lawsuits over talc, steaming, and other nonsense, there need to be a series of PSAs about not stuffing things up your cooch.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        This could be a great issue for Melon to take up.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Seriously! I was fortunate enough that in the 60’s the mantra was that you didn’t have to stick ANY FUCKING THING up there for any reason. Unless there’s a medical reason to do so, there’s absolutely no reason to squirt concoctions up your vagina. In fact it’s a BAD thing. I was told from the start that The Vagina is a Self-Cleaning Mechanism. You can think of menstruation as the cleaning cycle.

        • SisterArtemis

          Our Bodies Ourselves and all of it! Yeah! – I worked in feminist health clinics for a stretch, and the Self-cleaning Vag was a big thing with us!

          • Courser_Resistance

            LOL! Wonderful to meet you. The advice I got from Our Bodies, Ourselves stayed with me all these years! It was my bible for all of my young adult years for, well, anything that ailed me!

        • lovelydestruction

          Yay Self-Cleaning Mechanism. Can’t tell you how many women I saw in STD clinic who just had straight-up vaginal infections from bad advice and unsafe behavior.

      • Three Finger Salute

        You forgot wasp nests…

    • kaydenpat

      Not even sure I need or want to know what “pussy rocks” are. Ewwww.

    • John Thorstensen

      My wife is a gyn provider (trained as a nurse-midwife) and admires Jen Gunter’s work. Many wonkettes would probably like her too if you’re not familiar with her.

      https://drjengunter.wordpress.com/2017/01/17/dear-gwyneth-paltrow-im-a-gyn-and-your-vaginal-jade-eggs-are-a-bad-idea/

    • Joe Beese

      I loved Shakespeare in Love so much that I spent many years mentally defending Gwyneth Paltrow against the charges of… well, being Gwyneth Paltrow.

      But the years stretched on and on, and finally I had to give up.

  • Jennifer R
    • Joe Beese

      Images of the member’s member?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Let me guess which party the guy is. No, don’t tell me! Let me guess!

  • Angry Red Bird DGAF

    open thread is supposed to be written in ALL CAPS!!!111111!!333@@@33

  • NotALiar

    Not huge on a few (south american) Carter policies but I absolutely love the man. I sent a get well letter during his cancer treatment. His children reaponded with a lovely note.

    • Courser_Resistance

      He really is a National Treasure for his work AFTER the presidency.

    • kaydenpat

      He didn’t get much respect when he was President but Carter is a stand up guy. Glad to see that he’s lasted this long and is in his right mind. May he have many more years to come.

      • shivaskeeper

        There was the debacle of Eagle Claw in Iran. Everyone, everywhere knew the could have planned it better.

        The bigger factor to me, is the Evangelicals. They were a huge part of him getting elected. He was one of them. But he was an embarrassment to them when he was in the big spotlight.

        He was an embarrassment because he walked the walk, not just talked the talk. He passively exposed their utter hypocrisy.

        Look at anyone the fundy Evangelicals have endorsed since then. All have been the same hypocrites they are.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    In case you wonder why Macron invited Trump, it’s because he’s a good politician that knows an invite to Paris could change Trump’s opinion on the Paris accord. This my friends is politics.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/07/13/emmanuel-macron-says-obvious-indispensable-have-exchanges-donald/

    • Bobathonic

      Seems so long since we had a good politician… Fuck, it’s only July?!?!

    • Courser_Resistance

      Granny always said you get more flies with honey than vinegar.

      On the other hand, I could never understand why the hell you’d want MORE flies?

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Because sometimes you should step over your own shadow and hope the country that gets all the flies n there will call an exterminator.

      • bupkus231

        So you can catch them and KILL them. What could be simpler?

        • Courser_Resistance

          Can I put them in a box and mail them to Trump?

    • CripesAmighty

      Hey, if he pulls it off, more power to him. Perhaps his strategy is to simply embrace the fact that Dump is a crude, vain, child, and thus employ kindergarten diplomacy. Who knows? Might just work.

    • SayItWithOtters

      He still thinks the Paris Agreement is a thing we signed with France.

      Which calls for the human sacrifice of many red-blooded American coal miners periodically.

  • NotALiar

    Also..fuck Sebastian Gorka. What a fucking knob.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      A Nazi, and a fraud.

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        Funny how often those words appear together when describing certain people.

  • BadKitty904
  • Mr. Blobfish

    Could you imagine trump helping the poor like this?

    • SisterArtemis

      Nope. It would be worse than when Paul Ryan fake-washed pots at the soup kitchen. Trump would brag about himself the whole time, and manage a few backhanded slams on Teh Poorz while he was at it.

    • snigsy

      “Losers.”

    • kaydenpat

      No.

    • Reximus

      That time he went to a flood and handed out boxes of PlayDoh doesn’t count?

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Not even with drugs. Really, REALLY GOOD drugs.

  • Courser_Resistance

    Bless his heart! And I mean that in the nicest way possible (I’m a Northerner).

    I hope to be going as strong as he is when I’m 92.

  • UncleTravelingMatt
    • John Thorstensen

      That’s astonishing — sounds like Moe the Bartender going off on Bart Simpson’s prank calls.

      I’m sure it’ll come up if he needs a security clearance.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Everyone surrounding him, with the possible exception of Barron, is vile.

    • Doug Langley

      Anyone think you might have a problem if your spokesman needs a spokesman?

  • Bub, the truculent Zombie
    • I want that to be hilarious. But that guy has launch codes

    • CripesAmighty

      That’s nice, dear.

    • Joe Beese

      Let me tell you a story. I was hit on the head with a 60 pound sack once. The doctors said I would be brain damaged.

      I like stories.

    • Doug Langley

      “Let’s see, 25 billion for the concrete, rebar . . .”
      whisper whisper
      scratch scratch scratch
      “490 billion for the plexiglass . . .”

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      As crazy as that sounds…

      Aaaaand, there goes the OUT OF RANGE ERROR on my new irony meter. I shoulda bought the next model up.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    An Open Letter to republican congresscritters:
    Dear friends, have you ever watched a flock of birds wheeling and soaring through the sky? It’s beautiful, isn’t it? I bet you wish there were some way to tax it. Or to prevent poor people from seeing it. But let’s get to my point!
    You know how, when the birds are all doing their thing, winging around, and they suddenly all change direction and head off the new way, and the cute little losers at the ends are flying as hard as they can to keep up? Just flying and flying and flying, those wings going like a house afire, and they’re still at the back of the pack, while the leaders, who changed the direction of the entire group, are flying easy, enjoying their status and the admiration of alllllll the other birds?
    You could be those birds! You could look at Dear Leader and say to yourselves, “Hey! Instead of flying behind this massive bunghole, we could all change direction! We could fly towards the good of America, instead of letting him tear the whole thing down and shit on our heads from the heights!”
    Now, I know it’s scary and unusual for you to take leadership. You haven’t had to do it for years and years and years. You got out of practice during all those years when all you did was criticize Obama, and we understand. It’s hard to exercise muscles when you’ve let them atrophy. But come on, now. You just watch and see: when some brave few of you change direction, the whole mass of the rest of you will too, and you definitely don’t want to be the last bird flying south when everyone else is heading east! Does anyone still remember who were the last congresscritters supporting Nixon?
    I thought not.
    Hopefully yours,
    GGY

    • Picabo

      “Jonathan sighed. The price of being misunderstood, he thought. They call you devil or they call you god.”
      ― Richard Bach, Jonathan Livingston Seagull

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        They usually just call me, ‘What?’

    • Panika MCD

      hmmm…I liked Mary Oliver’s version of “Wild Geese” better…

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      They’re too far gone at this point. They’ve spent the last 15 years living in Crazytown, and now they think it’s Normalville that they’re living in.

  • eastcoastlib

    Jimmy we love you but you’re not so young any more and it’s not 1840. Use a damn power saw next time.

    • Joe Beese

      Power tools are a path to temptation.

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        And dearth of fingers. THIS one I am an expert about.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Brought the Forester home last night and promptly scratched it while parking.

    • Painter of Goats

      Since you’ve got that out of the way now you can relax and enjoy it.

    • Doug Langley

      That’s nothing. You’re going to love the loud crunching noise when parallel parking.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Think the dealership would buy ‘It was like that when I bought it!’?

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    Glenn Greenwald found himself one Democrat talking about actual war on Russia in retaliation. Therefore, everyone who takes the Russia interference in the election seriously wants to nuke Moscow.

    • Thiazin Red

      Funny how that is the same talking point I’ve seen alt-right douches use.

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        Curious how that happens.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Glenn Greenwald has jumped the shark. With great enthusiasm.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Did you see what that shark was wearing?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Jill Stein got there a year ago. Hard to believe that Greenwald didn’t join her sooner.

  • kaydenpat

    Such a nice guy. Hope he gets better soon and keeps on rocking.

  • BadKitty904

    <– listening to Bill Withers whilst splitting my time between making colcannon to go with tonight’s supper and chasing geckos out of the house before the cats eat them.

    I’m sure that a metaphor for something, but I don’t know what.

    • Geckos – Geico – insurance – being chased away
      OMG, you are turning republican ;-)

      • BadKitty904

        No, I live in the sub-tropics. The little buggers are everywhere.

        • Werewolf

          When my son was a wee lad, and we were living just up the road from you in J-ville, my son ran up to his mom one night and said “Mom, there’s a lizard in my room!” “A lizard?” “You know, the kind that sells insurance on TV?” :-D

          • BadKitty904

            Oh, Lawd…

          • Werewolf

            To be fair to him, he was about five years old and literally had never heard the word “gecko” (he’s Deaf).

          • BadKitty904

            Awwwwwww!

  • shivaskeeper

    Because this is about Jimmy Carter, I again have to mention that while he was Nuclear Engineer in the Navy, JC and his team went into a reactor that was going to melt down and repaired it in 90 second intervals, since any longer exposure than that would have been lethal even with protective gear.

    • BadKitty904

      That story has always impressed the heck outta me. The man *I*S* a real, live freekin’ HERO.

      • shivaskeeper

        Reactors were fairly new tech then and no one had any idea what that kind of exposure, even in suits with decontamination protocols in place would do. From what I have read about it, they all figured they would die from it, but did it anyway. Heroic is right.

        • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

          It helped shape Carter’s nuclear policy as well. Getting that up close and personal with radiation will do that.

          • shivaskeeper

            Damn right.

        • BadKitty904

          That reminds me of when my brother asked our Granddad why he gave up a baseball scholarship and college to go fight the Nazis in a foreign land.

          His answer was, “Because it had to be done and there was nobody else to do it. Just us.

          • shivaskeeper

            That is what makes a hero. Someone who sees what has to be done and does it without looking for what they will get out if it personally.

          • BadKitty904

            So, the opposite of the present-day Republican ethos.

            Well, if I grow up to be even half the man my Grandfather was, I’ll die happy.

      • hudson srinivasan

        no, really. this guy is da bomb of beings.

        • BadKitty904

          A REAL American.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      He couldn’t find a Merkin reactor to fix? Typical liebrul. Always putting other countries first.

      • shivaskeeper

        I don’t get it. Seriously.

        I hate having to have snark explained to me, as it ruins the joke, but I hate missing the joke even more.

        • Courser_Resistance

          Personally, I took that to mean they did it in a nuclear sub. I think I’d heard that before and forgotten it.

          • shivaskeeper

            It was on land Chalk River, Ontario. He was part of the Navy’s Seawolf program at the time.

            They had to build a full size exact replica of the reactor. Every nut, bolt, and adjustment made was practiced first and once it was done, the mock up was changed to reflect the real reactor.

        • SisterArtemis

          (I think it’s just Uncle aping what some knee jerk FOX devotee might pop off with, cuz, you know, Dems cain’t do no right.)

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          The reactor was in Chalk River, Ontario. Sorry for the confusion.

          • shivaskeeper

            See my other reply. I temporarily confused the program he was in with the meltdown.

      • shivaskeeper

        Disregard. I was temporarily confused. The program he was in, Seawolf, was based in upstate New York, the reactor was the Chalk River plant in Ontario. Fucking flappy headed Canadians.

    • mancityRed6

      and that spawned the SNL bit about a radiated Jimmy Carter.
      I can’t remember if he got bigger or just got super powers, though.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        He got way big. And so did the janitrix played by Garret Morris. I think they shared ciggies “afterwards”.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Misspelled ‘nockular’.

      • shivaskeeper

        Can’t have everything. :)

    • hudson srinivasan

      btw. have you heard about spurs, specifically bone spurs? they are deadly. they cause a certain type of dementia where you even forget which extremity you had them in. crazy, right?

    • Snopes Shop

      Trump also did that.

  • Bill D. Burger

    A man with a heart as big as his love for his fellow man. And his is a life well spent.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ebea21c8889047df2ec127c3c8c760846042814afc4348a907919691e6a8ec8b.jpg

    • Joe Beese

      Lillian raised him right.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        That Miss Lillian, sonny.

    • therblig

      “Any money in that?” – Any Trump family member

      • Sophia

        Well they managed to make money off of a cancer charity so they could probaly find a way to make a couple bucks on this.

    • Courser_Resistance

      He reminds me of the oldster extreme running folks. These folks are just about as dried up and sinewy as you can possible imagine and yet they’ll run 50 miles on rugged trails and… they just keep going! They’re very inspiring.

    • Yr. Gma

      I like to remember Jimmy Carter when the conversation turns to how horrible Christians are. Some are not.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Ironic that the one true Christian to ever occupy the White House was a Democrat.

      • bupkus231

        The only irony is that somehow, the GOP has convinced all too many people that they’re “godly”. Christianity should have nothing to do with partisan politics – but the GOP has been playing it ever since they started courting the religious right during Reagan/Falwell days.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Pfft, and he calls himself a ‘Christian.’
      – Franklin Graham

      • lovelydestruction

        F Graham is SUCH a turd

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          Though without the ability to enrichen the soil he lands on.

  • Thiazin Red

    Today I got to gossip with the department admins about gross dudes who work or have worked on our floor.

    There was the gross dude who constantly scratched his balls when he was talking to people. There is the current Grossest Dude Champion, guy who constantly hacks up phlegm and spits it in the recycle bins. What the shit gross dude? What in your life has made you think that is okay?

    Other things we talked about: How that one contractor is also a dick for acting like we’re crazy for complaining that the hallway periodically smells like death. That the newest round of fire safety videos are stupid.

  • Crystalclear12

    We went from Jimmy Carter to Donald Trump in less than forty years.
    Boggles the mind.

    • Panika MCD

      then we should be able to navigate back.

      • BeachBum

        Germany did. Japan did. We will do it too.

        • Ωbjectifier

          South Africa and Colombia also, too.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            When South Africa and Colombia are examples to look up to, you are in SERIOUSLY bad shape.

    • Ryan Denniston

      THANKS REAGAN!

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      We went from Barack Obama to Donald Trump in three months. Let that sink in for a minute.

  • Panika MCD

    I love President Carter. it’d be super cool if Bill and HRC joined the Carters in house building and PM Sexxxy Trudeau! Bamz and Michelle are on food pantry duty. heck, let’s make this a party and add the Bushes: Shrub can paint, Laura can donate books and Poppy n’ Babs can give them all fun socks. Tsarina Von Clownstick and the children of the plastic surgeon are not invited; but if Melania, Barron and Tiffany want to haul some stuff, I guess that would be okay. that would be prefect.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I like that warm, fuzzy fantasy.

      • Panika MCD

        we should write some letters and make it a reality!

        • Courser_Resistance

          They could at least do a Roadshow of it!

          • Panika MCD

            exactly!

          • That be better than mine and Fuki’s game show idea. If you prove you’re smarter than the president, you get to collect kittens like a mad shoplifter. The best kind of puss grabbing

          • Bobathonic

            Hey kids, let’s put on a show!

    • BeachBum

      I am cautiously beginning to have a new found respect for Melania. If Barron turns out ok it will only be because of her.

      • Panika MCD

        and his teachers and friends and Tiffany.

      • bupkus231

        Aw, c’mon. That is a MIGHTY big “if”. Nature .vs. nurture, and all that – but to even fantasize that kid will turn out alright is to ignore a thousand years of ( rich person ) history.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Poor Barron. He’ll never be OK. Actually I worry that he’ll end up in some godforsaken psikhushka like Rosemary Kennedy because that’s what the Rooskies do to the undesirables.

    • Three Finger Salute

      No, no, no Bushes except maybe the old man and Laura. W belongs in permanent exile for the civilization-destroying clusterfuck he and Dickhead started in the Middle East. ¡Yeb! can join him in the cell for helping to install his idiot brother and steal the election from Gore. JT, Sophie and the fam can come along too, but since this is what Carter did after leaving office (and everyone else in that paragraph is out of a job too), we don’t want JT to be unemployed as PM. I suppose Maggie, Maggie’s other kids, Sacha, Mrs Sacha (named Zoe) and the kids (6 in total, JT and Sacha each have 3) can help out though.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg
    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      A hundred here, a hundred there, and pretty soon something is rotting in Denmark.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Is Bismark a hewwing?

    • Joe Beese

      It’s as if Trump is favoring Kushner because he’s his son-in-law.

    • bupkus231

      I thought his original excuse was “I forgot”. Now, it comes out that he forgot 100 people? That’s not criminal, that’s Alzheimer’s!

  • BeachBum

    Good positive story. Thanks.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Jimmy Carter can’t be killed with conventional weapons.

    • shivaskeeper

      It was the radiation exposure. It made him a mutant superhero.

      True story.

      • Vecchioivan

        Actually, he was bitten by a radioactive carpenter ant.

  • Jennifer R

    Well, did not take long! Now he might have known about the meeting.
    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/trump-changes-tune-on-awareness-of-russia-meeting

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      It’s not a real Trump story unless they have changed their story every single day for at least a week.

      • Jennifer R

        I figure this is massaging his base to accept that he was there and it was ok that he was there.

      • Multiple times during at least teo of the days

      • Panika MCD

        he’s in Frankland. he’ll get on changing the story in about 10 hours.

      • Joe Beese

        On Trump’s next Hannity appearance, Sean will probe the contradiction.

    • Can we just keep handing them rope?

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Rope factory is running at 125%

        • Higher! Faster! Better!

        • BeachBum

          See, I KNEW he was gonna make more factory jobs ! In CHINA !

        • Lordpnut

          Smoking rope will make you silly.

    • Ryan Denniston

      So what if we colluded? It’s not like collusion is illegal!

      • Bill D. Burger

        “Not a colluder’ …. You’re a colluder’!”

        • CripesAmighty

          “No Puppet! No, er…nothing wrong with puppets, umm…”

      • Doug Langley

        “Everyone colludes! Like those large hardons in Europe!”

        • Msgr_MΩment

          LARGE HARDON COLLUDER LIBEL!!

          • Ωbjectifier

            As long as balls don’t touch, no homo.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Is treason even a thing anymore? Treason seems kind of passe.

        • Ryan Denniston

          Well, statutorily, treason has to be working with an enemy of USAmerica, like someone we’re at war with. So IOKIYAR.

    • Thiazin Red

      Thats a pretty quick turn around. There must be proof that he was in on it.

    • Bill D. Burger

      “Oooooooo…..THAT meeting. Maybe….maybe not.”

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Yeah, what a jackass.

  • If Mitch McConnell can be taken at his word, the Trump Republicans would rather collaborate with the Kremlin than the democratic party. Hmmmm

    • jesterpunk

      They have to keep their base happy.

    • TJ Barke

      Well the Kremlin is also run by vicious capitalist cronies, murderous fascists and xtian bigots, so… yeah.

  • La forza del resistino

    Boor in Chief reflects upon France’s 1st Lady
    http://video.ibtimes.co.uk/transcoder/480p/136/sequence_11.mp4

    • Ryan Denniston

      What was her score, a 7?

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        She’s old, so 7 because she is French and has flair.

    • CripesAmighty

      Looks like the worlds’ diplomatic corps are going to need to create a new position:
      ‘Bouncer’.

  • Joe Beese

    Kid Rock has released his first campaign statement.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DEpWcdLVYAAQFSV.jpg

    • Jennifer R

      So this is a scam to get people to go to his concerts?

    • ariel_gee_398

      Fuck people who think politics is a joke.

      • Joe Beese

        Get in the pit and try to love someone.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Novelty/vanity candidacies jumped the shark with Jill Stein Ralph Nader.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          But then Jesse “The Body” Ventura and ArnAld gave them hope again.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Can’t he just sell campaign memorabilia and call it a day?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “what I do best” = “being a voice for ……”
      Well, it certainly ain’t the musicianing that you do best, angelcakes.

      • Joe Beese

        Are the all-caps a conscious emulation of Trump populism or is it just something that stupid people do?

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          What’s the difference?

        • BosGrl

          Maybe because they don’t know when to initial cap a word, they just cap the whole thing?

    • schmannity

      Pamela Anderson would have been better off with Borat.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Is there a story or is this random? *Nervermind. I forgot that Pammy had once been with Kid Rock*

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Ah, so, couldn’t get an album deal, couldn’t arrange a tour, so why not get on the grift train, eh, Ritchie?

      • Joe Beese

        Why make an album deal when he can release music ON HIS TERMS?

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          A well-known figure on the Chicago music scene was the rather unique Wesley Willis. A huge man, a schizophrenic, a tireless self-promoter of his 24 CDs… which he’d sell on the street because no reputable record company would touch songs like ‘Suck a Pitbull’s Dick’ and ‘Kris Kringle Was a Car Thief’ with someone else’s 10-foot pole. So he’d do shows here and there and then stand outside afterwards and hard-sell his recordings.
          Terms like those?

    • mancityRed6

      he’s still alive?

      • Ωbjectifier

        Yes, but his career isn’t.

    • therblig

      captain, the ship is aground.

    • TJ Barke

      What a douche.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Everyone’s got a gimmick.

  • Jennifer R
  • mt2099

    I prefer ex-presidents who don’t collapse from dehydration.

  • Jenny

    “But he told me to wear layers! Who did he think he is” – Coworker on why he hates Carter.

    Keep being awesome Jimmy! Keep reminding the haters you’ve got more quality in your finger than the stupid slack jawed morons have combined.

  • mrFawkes

    As an theist, I’ve solved a few moral dilemmas by asking myself WWJCD–What Would Jimmy Carter Do.

  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    I’m an atheist, but I always considered Jimmy Carter to be the living embodiment of a true Christian. I also considered him to be the last good man in the WH until Obama came along. Like all good people in positions of power he was mercilessly, falsely vilified by his less intelligent, less moral, weaker and more corrupt associates.

    I think pundits wrote him off years ago as a “power player,” but like all real leaders he’s always led by example.

    Trump is not qualified to shine Carter’s shoes.

    • OutOfOrbit

      I donut like Bamz that much, for manifold reasons.

      • Sedagive ’em Hell

        He was far from a perfect president, and he made quite a few calls I did not agree with, but I think he’s a good man.

        I wish I felt that way about Bill, but dude was a dog.

        • OutOfOrbit

          Agreed on BC.

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          Agreed about Obama. Whether one agreed with his decisions or not – and there were many to disagree with – one could tell that the decisions were based on what he felt was the RIGHT thing to do, for the country. Can any of us do better?

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            That’s the thing, despite those bad calls, he will go down as one of the better presidents we’ve ever had. He was dealt the mother of all hands to play and managed to play it pretty damn well, all in all.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          On the balance, I like the big dog. He was way too centrist and triangulating and he couldn’t keep his personal peccadillos in his pants, but compared Reagan or HW or W after him? Not bad for a mild mannered GOP president in comparison to the rest

    • Ωbjectifier

      Let’s not forget, he lost an election largely due to his opponent’s improper collusion with a hostile foreign power.

      • Sedagive ’em Hell

        Yep.

        I was too young to vote in that election, but not too young to smell a rat.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        And (as was discovered years later) someone leaking campaign research and documents to his opponent right before the critical phase of the election.

      • Persistent Demme

        I will never forgive Reagan and his cronies for that little “releasing the hostages” move.
        I remember thinking: “the Ayatollah just elected the president of the United States.”

        • Jeandsanchez

          Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !pg184d:
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          !pg184d:
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      • Zippy W Pinhead

        funny how that happens so often to Dem candidates

    • shivaskeeper

      As well.

  • Komsumverweigerer Ron

    Are they sure it was dehydration and not massive blood loss from mosquito bites? I mean, summer in Winnipeg, right?
    Get strong, Mr President. You’re genuinely one of God’s good people, and the world will be a little poorer when you’ve gone to your reward.

  • TJ Barke

    A president that America didn’t deserve…

    • BadKitty904

      Well said, Teej…

    • Yr. Gma

      We were so ready for him after Nixon/Ford. I was there.

    • Steve Cole

      Carter proved the electorate cannot handle the truth, especially about constrained resources. Solar panels on the WH? Pfft…

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      But he was the President you needed. And the gods know you could have used more of him.

  • bookish

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2017/07/13/white-house-budget-wouldnt-eliminate-deficit-or-do-much-to-grow-economy-cbo-says/?utm_term=.10063060aa03

    The Congressional Budget Office said Thursday that President Trump’s first budget plan would not eliminate the deficit over 10 years or expand the economy at all by 2021, casting doubt on the administration’s controversial economic assumptions that were supposed to bolster key arguments for the White House’s agenda over the next year.

    The CBO projected that the sweeping spending reductions on anti-poverty programs, housing, environmental protection and a number of other initiatives that the White House wants to cull back would still not be enough to eliminate the deficit by 2027.

    In that year, the deficit would be $720 billion under the White House’s budget, the CBO said. The White House asserted the government would have a budget surplus in 2027 if its policies were enacted, bringing in more money through revenue than it spent. That’s a gap of more than $700 billion in just one year between the CBO and White House.

  • Yr. Gma

    Here’s a morbid thought: I hope none of the former presidents die during Donnie’s regime. None of them. I don’t want that fat orange fucker to make a spectacle out of a state funeral just to showcase himself. That goes for Poppy Bush and W, too.

    • Ryan Denniston

      “Some people think he’s a hero because he died, I like people who don’t die.”

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        GMTA

    • schmannity

      30 minutes into the eulogy: “but enough about me.”

      • TJ Barke

        Fake news! He’s incapable of not making it about him.

      • SisterArtemis

        30? I give him 5 at the outside.

    • bookish

      Trump will do his famous soft shoe while singing routine.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      He’ll brag about the crowd size. And say he died from Obamacare.

    • schmannity

      Maybe he can read some Scripture from the book of so-called Judges.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Judge Judy, Judge Reinhold, Judge Joe Brown — people are gonna be talking about them. Believe me.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      “He’s not a hero. He was a hero because he died. I like people who haven’t died”

  • Jennifer R

    Had a break from my allegedly unwinding 0% run to pick up the achievement for not getting hit by the boss for another boss (each boss has an achievement for not being hit, except for a few at the end that allow 1 or 2 hits). 2 more normal bosses in 0% then a gimmie boss and the last main game boss.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Sounds like you’re really challenging yourself.

      • Jennifer R

        0% is kind of a slog. I am past most of the hard platforming. Just have to do a dark area without light and the very end of the post game area is kind of spikey (I am also getting the achievement for not touching spikes at all in a play through) and that is really all the hard platforming. Chapter 6 is just a boss rush and chapter 7 is mostly dodging Quick Man lasers, which are fatal at the low HP level 0% gives you.
        Bosses though, Lot of bosses left to be able to clear the post game.

  • BosGrl

    Watching All in the Family and Archie just made a disparaging remark about Jimmy Carter because he was trying to “make friends” with Russia. We are in the looking glass.

    • Lord Jim

      Ain’t it a fact? :/

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Hey Edith! Would’ya look at your son-in-law meathead over dare?

  • Yr. Gma

    Who voted for Carter? *raises hand*

    • Joe Beese

      I was just a boy Beese then.

      But when I learned that you could actually send letters to the White House, I wrote him one saying that I thought the newspapers didn’t say enough nice things about him.

      A reply “signed” by Jody Powell said that the President was too busy doing president-stuff to write me himself but that he was grateful for the support.

      The End

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      He was POTUS when I was born, but Reagan is the first one I remember.

      • Ford was my first. I never understood the animus to Jimmy. He was trying to do good and people were literally blocking his every move.
        It was surreal to a tot

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          I think you answered your own question. We cannot have people doing GOOD. That would be terrible.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Same.

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          The first election I remember and had any kind of grasp on was Clinton. Most of my hometown declared it the end of the world when he was elected.

          • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

            Bush 41 was the first one I remember (I didn’t understand why Dukakis sitting in the tank was a bad thing, but I was 9 and thought getting to ride around in a tank would be super cool). Clinton was the first one I understood (it helped my school got those Weekly Readers that talked about some national issues). By the time Clinton/Dole came around I was in high school and involved in debate, so I was deeply invested in it.

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            I remember Dukakis and Bush, but didn’t understand at all. My Mom always took me with her to vote, though. I knew I was supposed to grow up and vote.

          • BosGrl

            I always brought mine with me and love to see parents with little kids at the polls. I was so proud when my daughter voted for the first time. I think I even posted a picture here. I’m glad she got to vote for president once, anyway, and for a GIRL. :)

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            Yay for Moms teaching their daughters good habits!

      • mancityRed6

        Nixon was a few months away from resigning, so…yeah.

      • Bub, the truculent Zombie

        Nixon is the first president I remember. I had a paper route while Watergate was going on, and read the stories, trying to figure out what the hell it was all about. Then I tried to get my dad and my uncle to explain it to me when they were playing cards and drinking together one weekend. Suffice it to say that a couple of drunks trying to explain a complex political scandal to an eleven year old is not a very enlightening experience.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          I barely remember the day JFK was shot. Knew about LBJ, learned right away to despise tricky Dick

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          Who would have thought it could get so very much worse?

    • BadKitty904

      I would have, if I’d been born. If only because he’s from Georgia.

    • Bub, the truculent Zombie

      I was only 13. Also a Canadian.

      Oh, and a zombie…

      • SisterArtemis

        Can zombies vote, or do their voting privileges end when they go into their undead state?

      • dirtdog

        If we believe the republican line, millions of underage Canadian zombies probably voted in the last election. (It’s just as plausible as what they’re actually saying.) Why did you miss your chance?

    • Doug Langley

      I voted in 1980, but am ashamed to admit I cannot remember whom I voted for. I didn’t follow politics much back then.

    • mancityRed6

      I was 2, but I’m fairly certain I did…wait…
      but I know my parents did. and in ’80. dad was really upset on election night that year, ’84, and ’88.

      • proudgrampa

        Kobach would like to talk to you…

    • Vecchioivan

      First presidential election I voted in.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        me too

      • PersianOregano

        Me too I still remember the tears of strangers from the return watching party (1980)

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Have to come clean. I was a college kid radical and a Berner before it was an idiot thing to do. Voted McCarthy and Anderson, worked on Anderson’s campaign. My rationale was that I lived in Kansas and it wouldn’t matter anyway.

      • Yr. Gma

        I had several friends on the McCarthy team.

        • FlownΩver

          Joe?

    • BosGrl

      I wasn’t quite old enough for 1980 but I was a big supporter even at 14.

    • Panika MCD

      was not alive yet, but have thought about writing him in a few times–then I remember that’s not a ice thing to do to elections staff and the other people in line when the person is not on the list.

    • FlownΩver

      Ooh ooh! Mr. Carter! Me! Twice! Got to feel extra-smug after the SNL Carter (Ackroyd)/Cronkite( Murray) phone-in bit, then again after Iran-Contra.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Not me. I did not vote in 1980 which was the first year I was eligible. I thought his boycott of the Olympic games was a piss poor decision. You do NOT fuck with the people’s dreams or their futures like that. There is no way to measure the damage that caused. With that being said, I didn’t vote for Reagan either. And also too, while I hold no ill will, it sucked.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Too young. I voted Kerry the first year I was eligible, though. So far only 50% success rate in terms of presidential elections. 100% (D) voting history but only one of my choices made it. Kerry was “swiftboated” and… well… we know what happened to Hillary.

    • bobbert

      I voted for Jimmeh. But, of course, I started by voting for HHH.

  • bookish

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/07/12/trump-legal-immigration-cuts-240478?utm_source=nl-politics-daily-071317

    Donald Trump and his aides are quietly working with two conservative senators to dramatically scale back legal immigration — a move that would mark a fulfillment of one of the president’s biggest campaign promises.

    Trump plans to get behind a bill being introduced later this summer by GOP Sens. Tom Cotton of Arkansas and David Perdue of Georgia that, if signed into law, would, by 2027, slash in half the number of legal immigrants entering the country each year, according to four people familiar with the conversations. Currently, about 1 million legal immigrants enter the country annually; that number would fall to 500,000 over the next decade.

    The senators have been working closely with Stephen Miller, a senior White House official known for his hawkish stance on immigration. The issue is also a central priority for Steve Bannon, the president’s chief strategist, who has several promises to limit immigration scribbled on the walls of his office.

    • TJ Barke

      Stephen Miller is a fucking nazi.

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        No shit. He’s probably sorry he was born too late and not in Germany

      • Three Finger Salute

        I thought he was a joker and a smoker and a midnight toker. Different Steve Miller, I guess.

    • Joe Beese

      I have nothing nice to say about any of these people.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        and that’s nicer than the response I was considering

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      500,000, plus the ones who can make the cash or wire transfer payment.

    • BosGrl

      Drumpf lives in a gold plated cocoon and he never has to look at common people unless they are serving his Diet Coke. He has no brain of his own and is completely led by the assholes around him.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        So Reagan but without the ability to fake sincerity?

        • BosGrl

          Reagan without the charm or the ability to act.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I can’t wait until all the tech firms hear about this. Also, I can’t wait until all the Georgia farm operations find out Perdue was involved.

    • SayItWithOtters

      Just who do these people imagine will be changing their diapers in another 30 years? Oh right, we’re also doing that whole Handmaid’s Tale thing where white women will ….. somehow be compelled to boost the national white fertility rate to make this country white again.

  • Ezio

    Right winger: We need good CHRISTIAN values in our nation! That’s why I voted for a billionaire who doesn’t care about anyone but himself and admits to being unfaithful in his marriages!

    Jimmy Carter: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/467fd28adb6471a8a168f71f4f7943d6531a456d09337571a3c0a4cd8b112c86.jpg

    • Doug Langley

      Jimmy DID admit to being unfaithful . . . but only in his heart.

  • Thiazin Red

    What is everyone reading?

    After Never Caught I went in the opposite direction and decided to listen to some YA fantasy, A Court of Thorns and Roses. Its a reworking of Beauty and the Beast, the original story not the Disney story, but with fairies.

    When I have the chance to read a physical book, I’m reading Amberlough, a spy story set in fantasy Wiemar Germany. Its very well written, and when I can, I end up reading it for hours.

    • Panika MCD

      Wilderness Tips by Margaret Atwood, still rereading Blackacre by Monica Youn a few more times and the most recent issue of Ploughshares. just finished Landscape in Concrete by Jakov Lind which was plenty gruesome. if you like YA modernized fantasy, you should pick up some Francesca Lia Block.

      • mancityRed6

        I will be getting a library card this weekend. I’m not dodging the list, it’s bookmarked. I’ll post when I get something.

        • FlownΩver

          From our nifty LFK library?

          • mancityRed6

            sadly, no
            http://www.olathelibrary.org/
            I do still have a card for Lawrence, but I’m only there maybe every couple of weeks or so.

          • Do you have access to Overdrive through your libraries? They have a decent selection of e-books and audiobooks. And you don’t even need an e-reader. Try going to https://www.overdrive.com/ There is also a good site for getting free or reduced price ebooks called http://www.bookbub.com.

          • FlownΩver

            Karin Brownlee, who represented Olathe in the state senate, once told me the name was a Native American word meaning “land of the duplexes.”

          • mancityRed6

            and apartment complexes…yeah, pretty much.
            but it’s only a 3 minute drive or 45 minute walk to work…yeah.

    • SisterArtemis

      For the 15th time or something, Herbert’s God Emperor of Dune. And Making small stabs at All the President’s Men for the 3rd or 4th time. Read it last during the 2008 campaign season.

      • FlownΩver

        Follow up with Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail.

        • mancityRed6

          Or Better Than Sex, for the ’92 campaign.

      • Panika MCD

        have you tried All the King’s Men?

        • SisterArtemis

          Yep. Got kinda weepy when Nixon gave his goodbye to the staff

          • Panika MCD

            but…that one’s about a fictional version of Huey Long…

          • SisterArtemis

            Am I thinking of the wrong book? Isn’t that the follow up to the Woodward-Bernstein one?

          • Panika MCD

            yeah. it’s okay.

    • FlownΩver

      Al Franken: Giant of the Senate. A well written and intelligent reminder that, among other things, (1) you have to win the election to have a shot at accomplishing anything and (b) it’s about how the voters want things to be, not how the candidate (“me, Al Franken”) wants them to be. Added bonus: Sen. Al has figured out how to apply standup timing to the printed page.

    • Valentina by SE Lyons, Cleaved by Sue Coletta, (both thrillers) 12 Major World Religions by Jason Boyett, and I am about to start Messengers of the Right by Nichole Hemmer. Books are like potato chips for me, I can’t just have one. Has anyone else read Messengers of the Right? I am curious about it being worth buying.

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      The Good Spy by Kai Bird. About the career of Robert Ames, the one CIA operative who understood how to talk with the PLO and might have brought peace to the Middle East–had he lived.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Alan Furst ” the Polish Officer”

  • Jimmy Carter may be history’s greatest monster, but he was the best president of the last quarter of the 20th century.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Actually, he’s proving to be the best ex president. His time in the WH wasn’t nearly as bad as the RWNJs claim, but it wasn’t perfect either.

      • Panika MCD

        no one’s time is perfect anywhere.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          True- Carter had his problems- he micromanaged too much and could be prickly and uncooperative, plus he was somewhat naive and unlearned in the ways of inside the beltway politics, but he wasn’t a bad president so much as he’s turned out to be about the best damned ex president we’ve ever had.

          • Panika MCD

            and the “20th century’s greatest monster”? WTF is that all about? there are so many monsters. he was a man.

          • Carter is “History’s greatest monster.” Get it straight. And are you all really that young not to understand?

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5EFYlJlMpQ

      • It wasn’t perfect, but don’t forget the mess he stepped into post-Nixon and Ford. Like Obama, he doesn’t get the credit he deserves for cleaning up the mess Republicans had made of the country.

    • Serai 1

      Monster? What the fuck are you on about?

      • I’m just putting you down as young and lacking an understanding of historical facts:

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5EFYlJlMpQ

        • Serai 1

          Actually, I’m probably older than you, kiddo. I VOTED for Carter. So I ask you again, what the fuck are you on about?

          • Then watch the video grampa. And connect it to my nom de web. Then get off my lawn.

  • Persistent Demme

    For God’s sake, Jimmy!
    Take a break!
    Jeez!

  • proudgrampa

    I worked for Jimmy in the 1976 Presidential Campaign, and I truly admired, respected and loved him.

    I still admire, respect and love him. Just wish he would relax a little.

    • shivaskeeper

      I know others like him. The day they stop doing is the day they die.

      • proudgrampa

        This is true…

    • Serai 1

      If not relaxing makes him happy, may he never relax. He’s been around longer than most, after all, so I figure he can do whatever he wants.

      • proudgrampa

        Pretty much.

        He is one of the few who, in Maslow’s terms, is Self-Actualized.

        It’s why I admire him so much.

  • Shanzgood

    Well, baconzgood is waiting to board his flight home now. We’re sad because we don’t know when we’ll see each other again. One of the reasons is hopefully good in that I have a second interview tomorrow for a job I want, and if I get it I don’t know when I’ll have time off.

    • mancityRed6

      good luck and good luck

    • SeeTrain65

      How many members of the flight crew will be needed to hold him down in his seat for the flight back? (Yes, yes, AOT,K.)

      Seriously, I’m thrilled the two of you got the chance to see each other again. May baconz have a good flight, and I’ll keep my fingers crossed during that second interview.

    • I hope you get something good, and close.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      You’ll find a way. Good luck!

    • :snuggle: Safe travels to Baconz and good fortune for you, Shan! You deserve it

      • Shanzgood

        Thanks! I’m probably going to freak out if I don’t get this job. Or if I DO get it.

    • BadKitty904
    • Panika MCD

      so we can stow the barf bags until further notice and have pastries without risking diabetes again?

      • Shanzgood

        NEVER!

        • Panika MCD

          yes, Ms. Goodz!

    • OutOfOrbit

      So did you 2 ever get your rocks off? Asking for the roommate.

      • Shanzgood

        Stahp it! He’s a nice Catholic boy!

        • OutOfOrbit

          Rrrrrright.

          • Shanzgood

            *snicker*

  • Ezio

    Anyways, Kid “I love the Confederate flag even though I’m from Michigan” Rock is considering running for Senate because this is 2017.

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/13/arts/music/kid-rock-for-senate-hints-but-dont-assume-anything.html

    • Joe Beese

      It’s not that he approves of slavery, you understand. It’s a “rebel” thing.

    • Three Finger Salute

      “Bawitdaba da bang da bang diggy diggy diggy said the boogie said up jump the boogie”

      …makes about as much sense as anything Trump writes on twitter, so why not.

  • Jeffery Campbell

    When people say “Saints walk among us” this is who they are talking about.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Or the St Paul Saints.

    • Serai 1

      This is also one of the people who disprove the whole “religious=evil moron” bullshit.

  • Kakariki

    Kasowitz might have been hitting the bottle again last night:

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/kasowitz-threatens-stranger_us_5967dfa4e4b0d6341fe7aaea?ncid=inblnkushpmg00000009

    Or maybe he is just a foul tempered idiot.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Please don’t hit the cocktail waitress.

    • Bill D. Burger

      He’s already groveling and asking for forgiveness. rotflmao

      [Trump’s lawyer apologizes for sending threatening emails to a stranger, says it was ‘at the end of a very long day’

      Allan Smith 7/13/17

      The apology came shortly after ProPublica published the profanity-laden emails.

      The person who sparked the exchange is a retired public relations professional in the western US, according to ProPublica. He sent the “Resign Now” email after reading ProPublica’s story this week on Kasowitz.

      Kasowitz fired back with replies sent between 9:30 p.m. and 10 p.m. ET.

      “I’m on you now,” one read. ” You are f—— with me now Let’s see who you are Watch your back , b—-.”

      “Call me,” Kasowitz wrote in another email. “Don’t be afraid, you piece of s—. Stand up. If you don’t call, you’re just afraid.”

      Later, he added: “I already know where you live, I’m on you. You might as well call me. You will see me. I promise. Bro.”

      ~snort~ He said “Bro”

      http://www.businessinsider.com/trumps-lawyer-apologizes-for-sending-threatening-email-to-a-stranger-2017-7

      • SayItWithOtters

        When an elderly white mob lawyer from Manhattan pulls out “Bro”…….

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        Once a coarse mafia low-life, always a coarse mafia low-life. Our White House is occupied by a low-rent crime family.

  • Jennifer R
    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Obligatory.

      Vince Foster libel!

      • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

        Too soon.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Alex Jones’ ‘Infowars’: “Killary claims another victim. Smith found with an ‘I’m With Her’ sticker over mouth and nose. “

    • Ryan Denniston

      Isn’t it enough that Hillary is running the Deep State and The Resistance?

  • Mystery_Poster

    Right after pussgrab was “elected,” he quashed something that was supposed to go on at the CDC (I can’t remember now, it seems so long ago). Carter said they could use the Carter Center, adding that he has secret service protection for life.

    • Joe Beese

      I thought he renounced that protection a long time ago.

  • Joe Beese

    Hm.

    A Republican donor and operative from Chicago’s North Shore who said he had tried to obtain Hillary Clinton’s missing emails from Russian hackers killed himself in a Minnesota hotel room days after talking to the Wall Street Journal about his efforts, public records show.

    In the note recovered by police, [Peter W.] Smith apologized to authorities and said that “NO FOUL PLAY WHATSOEVER” was involved in his death. He wrote that he was taking his own life because of a “RECENT BAD TURN IN HEALTH SINCE JANUARY, 2017” and timing related “TO LIFE INSURANCE OF $5 MILLION EXPIRING.”

    http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/politics/ct-peter-smith-death-met-0713-20170713-story,amp.html

    I am really reluctant to Go There. So I’ll just ask: Do life insurance policies pay out after suicide?

    • Kakariki

      Most do if the policy has been in effect for over two years I believe.

    • hudson srinivasan

      hang on a minute. if i tried to punch a non-existent wall and broke my arm in the process, you are telling me there is someone i can sue?

    • Panika MCD

      not any that I recall, but I’m not an insurance expert.

    • Doug Langley

      Very few suicide notes emphasize that there was no foul play whatsoever.

      • Panika MCD

        and they don’t generally have something that vague about health if that is the motivation nor specific date…maybe the insurance policy was through Russia?

      • Joe Beese

        It reminds me of the scene in Sleeper when Woody and Diane are pretending to be surgeons so they can get access to the Leader and he tells the guard, “Yes, we’re doctors. We’re not impostors.”

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          Isn’t it just the Leader’s nose, IIRC?

      • Joe Beese

        The “whatsoever” does seem a supremely odd and characteristically Trumpian touch.

    • SayItWithOtters

      The rest of the two-bit Russian-hacker-seducing dipshits should start being careful about whom they leak to. With votes, or whatever.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Smells fishy… The Hennepin County prosecutor will be taking a close look at this.

    • Carole

      They might, if the policy has been in place more than a few years.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Yes. If the policy has been around for two years. Some, have specific exclusions after the two years, but most pay out, especially if the person has a terminal illness anyway.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Hurricane season is here and still no one to head up FEMA or NOAA.

    • Joe Beese

      Sad as it is to say, might we be better off with some second-in-charge long-timer from the Obama era than Trump’s favorite shoeshine man or whatever other crony he’d install?

      • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

        “Heck of a job, Vankie.”

    • Vecchioivan

      I know this horse lawyer who is looking for work . . .

  • Doug Langley

    Okay, this is irking me.

    The prez of my community college made a big deal of going to Washington and testifying before Congress. Topic: whatever do we do with all those job openings that companies just can’t fill because of “skills gap”? Big surprise, Fearless Leader turned it into a free commercial for himself. “Community colleges are the pathway to life fulfillment and success yadda yadda yadda”

    I checked the figures. We currently have a top number of job openings, about six million. Yet last month only 35,000 people hired. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON??????

    I’ve been killing myself for the past year to get a job, keep finding openings that have my name written all over, yet they slam the door in my face and go complaining they “can’t find anyone qualified”.

    Companies are replacing equipment with new and improved machines that do twice as much in half the time. Very profitable. At the very same time, employers wail they just can’t afford to train anyone to work them.

    Hand wringing over why workers have a “skills gap” and at the very same time our schools offer courses in the latest and greatest. I know – my schools certainly broke their backs to keep updating. Except in this guy’s college where my boss tried to get current courses going and management kept dragging their feet.

    AND why Fearless Leader looooves to remind everyone how they have grants from here and money from there yet NEVER mentions how the plead poverty to the instructors and whack pay.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      I’m with you Doug. Had an interview today. Again. Maybe this time I won’t be too ‘experienced’.

    • proudgrampa

      6,000,000 job openings
      5,000,000 of them in retail and McDonald’s

      1 job YOU are competing for

      • proudgrampa

        I know, I screwed up the math. Never was good at it…

        • Doug Langley

          I teach math!

          • proudgrampa

            The funny thing is, my proudkids claim that I was instrumental in getting them through high school, because I helped them with their math studies.

            Well crap, Doug. I don’t remember this at all. Algebra drove me to tears when I was in school.

    • mancityRed6

      the downturn of the Chinese economy hit us hard, they were one of our best customers.
      some people were laid off, some chose to quit (I think). the old boss took on new responsibilities so we never see him anymore. the new boss is the guy who did everything else, and now everything else isn’t getting done any more.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i hear ya brother! When there ARE openings, they are 3-5 years experience. Every. Damn. Time.

      Meanwhile, in austin, I see a job in my field that pays $21/hr+ – experience or education prefereable, but not required…wtf?

      • Doug Langley

        I have a paranoid suspicion that means “grad college, 3 to 5 yrs of another company breaking you in, and we hire you in your late 20s”.

        I’m very touchy on the subject of age discrimination.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          i’m not so hip to it at htis point in my life, so I’ll just say, 3-5 means, “let someone else pay to train you”.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Long story. Too drunk to go into it now.

      /major research university adminis-traitor!

    • Doug Langley

      What I mean to say is that the whole situation is so screamingly illogical that I can’t take it. Companies say they want to hire – and don’t. They have the money – and don’t spend it. There’s no evidence of “skills gap” – and all the experts accept it without question. Isn’t there anyone, anywhere, who’s trying to untangle this insanity?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Panika MCD

      someone will make him a fake version that says “INNOCENT! TRANSPARENTY!”

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      People say Little Babby Donnie Junior is a mere infant.

    • Serai 1

      But I’ll bet he’ll still keep those fake covers hanging at his tacky resort.

      • ahughes798

        Hey Serai, not to be a creep, but you were gone for a bit. Everything OK?

        • Serai 1

          Yeah, I was. I was having a bad time, a lot of pain making me frustrated. Then I realized the main thing causing this fucking acid reflux awfulness was stress, and the main stress in my life was obsessing on politics. So I backed way off the subject and avoided any place where I’d get into it, and after a few days, the pain backed off. It’s still there, but MUCH less now, so I’m staying mostly away from political hoo-ha. Trying to restrict my commenting to things that won’t make me start wanting to cause Grievous Bodily Harm.

          Thanks for asking! :)

          • ahughes798

            Feel better! Stop in once in a while for some non-comments and dick jokes when you de-stress. I’m trying to compartmentalise, LOL!

          • Serai 1

            Thanks! I’m keeping mostly to the open threads or the occasional non-political post, like that vegan butthole thing the other day. Damn, that was fun. Not enough whiny trolls showing us their buttholes, though.

    • Shrieking Denizen

      by David Von Drehle, no less.

    • SisterArtemis

      That is a nicely done cover

  • Picabo

    Born on this date in 1942. Harrison Ford.
    Terminate the Colonel’s command.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjB8z0Bvi14

    What is you’re favorite scene or movie from Harrison Ford?

    • Joe Beese
    • mancityRed6

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gU35Tgtlmg
      ’cause it was the first one outside of star wars and I barely remember seeing Empire in the theater.

    • Bozilingus

      Replace Oldman with tRump and Ford with Hillary, “Get off my White House!”
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOUoNy7EmPA

      • Joe Beese

        My problem with that was: It’s really the People’s plane.

    • mancityRed6

      Fords characters are awesome because they aren’t bulging with muscles and they don’t lay any claim to any special knowledge. he is the everyman, and every man could see themselves doing what he does–at least something like it–in every movie he has been in.

    • Serai 1

      BEST. HARRISON FORD VID. EVER.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9GwtRsOYSI

    • SeeTrain65

      Did anyone mention the remake of “Sabrina?”

      Nah. Didn’t think so.

      (Eh, it wasn’t bad. Also, I stare longingly at photos of Julia Ormond.)

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      I like this one, because it’s such a quiet scene of humanity.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxotPpVYVcc

    • Bill D. Burger
    • shastakoala

      He was hideous and wonderful in “What Lies Beneath.”

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Don’t forget him in American Graffiti!

    • ahughes798

      ISWYDT. Damn, Ford and Sheen are so young in this film.

      Edited to add: Why do people in movies say “Terminate his command,” which I assume means to kill, then “Terminate with extreme prejudice.” Does that mean kill them extra hard?

  • Ezio
    • Yeah but they still have one up on us

    • Serai 1

      He’s right. We’re now the ones ashamed and embarrassed.

    • mancityRed6

      like I didn’t have to feel the shame with W.
      or try to answer for how Schwarzenegger got elected.

      • Ezio

        True

      • Ezio

        To be honest though, I always thought Arnold was a more reasonable republican.

        • mancityRed6

          I was learning a job from a guy who was going to get full time employment by the Labour party (UK). he just couldn’t understand how he got elected.

    • ahughes798

      I must be some kinda weird, but when I meet someone from Italy, the first thing I ask them is “Have you been to the Cinque Terra? Is it as beautiful as I hear it is?”

    • Joe Beese

      I keep seeing Barry Manilow.

    • hudson srinivasan

      how have we have ever wronged you, that you think it is appropriate to curse us like this?

  • Lyly Sirivong
    • proudgrampa

      Vive la France!

      • BeachBum

        Viva le Moulin Rouge ! First green energy !

  • Granny Sprinkles

    Dear Jimmy Carter: Get Some Rest, Feel Better, And Get Back To Building Houses Doing Whatever TF You Feel Like Doing Because You’ve Earned It, OK?

    FIFY

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      He really does feel like building houses and curing river blindness and whatnot- because he’s far more of a decent human being than the entire Trump clan could ever hope to be in their wildest dreams

      • Bobathonic

        Being decent human beings isn’t the sort of thing grifters dream
        about.

  • Ezio
  • Jennifer R

    Shameless self promotion: I have the most popular response to this.
    https://twitter.com/TheYoungTurks/status/885617331472285696

    • That must include all the ill-eagles

    • Bill D. Burger

      ManO’Man! Those are Trump inauguration numbers right there. Bigly numbers.

    • jesterpunk

      Yes but they are going to kill the ACA so no one will know until those people die of preventable issues so there. (GOP most likely)

    • Villago Delenda Est
    • Carole

      Math class is tough.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Oopsie daisy. Guess they need to make sure they use all their fingers and toes next time.

    • shivaskeeper

      I assume yours is the one with the same avatar. Well done, you.

      • Jennifer R

        Yup, I have that little FiGo figure sitting on a desk still.

    • SeeTrain65

      Mainly because it’s ALL KINDS OF AWESOME!

    • ltmcdies

      Google is your friend, TYT….321.4 million (2015) pop of United States.

  • gallbladder

    Winnipeg: My home town.

  • Bill D. Burger

    BTW: I don’t want to hear any more of this crap about Junior that “He’s not experienced in politics” or any variation. I’ve heard it at least 6 times today, and the capper came from Cheetolini himself who referred to Junior as “…a boy” and “…a kid”! Are you shitting me?
    The fucker is 39 years old. The president of France is 39 years old.
    Manafort has been in politics for 40+ years and he was with Junior.

    Sooo….fuck that shit with a pitchfork.
    Ahhh…glad to get that off my chest. All better.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Wish to fuck I could remember who said this, but lying =/= political inexperience FFS and TYVM.

    • BeachBum

      See, that’s why the Constitution says the prez has to be at least 35 yrs old. So that kids and ….. um….uh…..Wait, what ?!

    • Panika MCD

      I didn’t want to hear it the first time I did because of Manafort’s presence.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Terrifying and necessary clip from KO:

    https://twitter.com/KeithOlbermann/status/885627451224854529

    • Ryan Denniston

      A Taste of Armageddon was a really good episode. I hope JJ Abrams leaves his mitts off of it!

    • Serai 1

      Oh, you mean the way Bush didn’t give a shit about finding bin Laden?

      By the way, how exactly are they going to prevent this from happening again? I mean, other than shutting down the internet entirely? Really, I’m curious to know how they think that could possibly be done.

  • Bub, the truculent Zombie

    This is a brilliant riposte to the idiots who believe we should cut Donnie and his bunch some slack because they are new at politics:

    littlebrowndog •

    “Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen; this is your Captain speaking. We’re experiencing some difficulties… some of you may have noticed the wings have fallen off and the engine in the tail has burst into flames. As we plummet to our deaths, I feel I should point out that the contractor who built this aircraft has never built an airplane before… in fact, had never even been on one, though he’d seen a couple in the air and had some strong opinions on them. So he hired his entire family instead of qualified avionics engineers, and used whatever he had to hand to build the plane, including parts he got from our competitors, who actually want us to crash. So I think you’ll understand that this situation is really all your fault for choosing to fly with this airline. Thank you, and go fuck yourselves.”

    • miss_grundy

      Donnie and his daddy, Fred, did a lot of business with Mayor Abe Beame and successive mayors and bureaucrats of New York City. He is not a neophyte in the political game and anyone who says that is lying.

    • schmannity

      Spirit Air?

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Marc Kasowitz, such a silly, silly boy. Donald has all the best people.

    President Trump’s personal attorney on the Russia case, threatened a stranger in a string of profanity-laden emails Wednesday night.

    The man, a retired public relations professional in the western United States who asked not to be identified, read ProPublica’s story this week on Kasowitz and sent the lawyer an email with the subject line: “Resign Now.”

    Kasowitz replied with series of angry messages sent between 9:30 p.m. and 10 p.m. Eastern time. One read: “I’m on you now. You are fucking with me now Let’s see who you are Watch your back , bitch.”

    In another email, Kasowitz wrote: “Call me. Don’t be afraid, you piece of shit. Stand up. If you don’t call, you’re just afraid.” And later: “I already know where you live, I’m on you. You might as well call me. You will see me. I promise. Bro.”
    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/trump-lawyer-marc-kasowitz-threat-stranger-emails

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Can’t wait until his Bar board sees this

    • I’m on you? Bro?
      He is a boy too?

      • Serai 1

        No, he’s a bro. Difference.

    • jesterpunk

      He said he will apologize when he gets around to it.

      http://www.politico.com/story/2017/07/13/trump-attorney-apologizes-profane-emails-240532

      President Donald Trump’s outside attorney Marc Kasowitz will apologize to a man he told in a profanity-laced email to watch his back, a spokesman said Thursday.

      “Mr. Kasowitz, who is tied up with client matters, said he intends to apologize to the writer of the email referenced in today’s ProPublica story,” spokesman Mike Sitrick said. “While no excuse, the email came at the end of a very long day that at 10 pm was not yet over.”

      • mancityRed6

        so he was drunk?

        • jesterpunk

          With his history i am pretty sure that is a valid assumption anytime of the day.

      • Serai 1

        Well, at least you admit you have no control over yourself whatsoever. That’s something, I guess.

    • mancityRed6

      and now I’m upset they blacked out his phone number.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        his email address is posted all over the internet

    • miss_grundy

      I hope the guy files a lawsuit against Kaowitz demanding a bigly amount of money. Just to burn his ass. And that he also goes after his law license.

  • Zippy W Pinhead
    • I am not surprised. Probably an attempt to grift even more

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        It’s more of their patented “The Producers” math

    • jesterpunk

      They will claim again that is on purpose.

    • Joe Beese

      One hopes the Senate parliamentarian might find a bill ineligible for reconciliation under the Byrd Rule if it is mathematically impossible.

      http://www.metafilter.com/168157/Theres-a-good-chance-I-may-have-committed-some-lighttreason#7093507

    • You know, when Cruz started with his plan, several economists pointed to a Nobel prize winning study that showed how any similar strategy will destabilize a market and make it stratified. Yet another example of Cruz thinking he is brilliant for suggesting something that has already been shown to not work. So it doesn’t surprise me that he is involved in poor accounting work to go with his poor economics work.

      • Bobathonic

        Maybe he accepted the results and took that as his goal. He is a colossal shit, after all.

      • mancityRed6

        since he’s Canadian, is he using the metric system?

        • Three Finger Salute

          He is not Canadian. His birth certificate doesn’t matter. Tommy Douglas would have teamed up with Chretien to put this hoser in a Shawinigan Handshake, while Pierre pirouetted a roundhouse kick to his fuddle-duddle. With no-confidence votes.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Yup- anyone with a lick of common sense realized this is nothing more than an intentionally created death spiral, AKA an underfunded high risk pool masquerading as the marketplace. They are lying through their teeth about what it is, color me shocked that they lie about the math needed to make it work, also too

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Again?

      And they say girls cant do math?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        No wonder that hate common core and hate college education. All those pesky smart people keep catching them trying to cheat.

    • miss_grundy

      It’s alternative math…..

  • jesterpunk

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/13/politics/flores-remove-trump-children-white-house/index.html

    One Republican congressman has some advice for President Donald Trump: get your kids out of the White House.

    Following the series of emails released by Donald Trump Jr. on Tuesday, Rep. Bill Flores, who represents Texas’s 17th Congressional District, said he thinks the President’s best move is to remove all of his children from his administration, whether they hold an official position or not.

    “I’m going out on a limb here — but I would say I think it would be in the President’s best interest if he removed all of his children from the White House. Not only Donald Trump (Jr.), but Ivanka and Jared Kushner,” Flores told CNN affiliate KBTX, which is based in Bryan, Texas, on Thursday morning.

    • Joe Beese

      The President’s children are supposed to be off limits!

      • jesterpunk

        Thanks Obama.

      • mancityRed6

        children, the adults are fair game.

        • bookish

          Especially since they’ve inserted themselves into our house, and our government.

          • mancityRed6

            yes

    • The hard right GOP is REALLY uncomfy with Ivanka and Jared because (((reasons)))

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        iswydt

    • Claire

      I don’t disagree, but the guy’s in some sort of cognitive decline. Without at least Ivanka there as a caretaker he’s likely to start a nuclear war.

      • mancityRed6

        naw, he’d just drink a shit tonne of coke.

        • jesterpunk

          Just make sure he presses the correct red button. Wouldn’t want to accidentally nuke some country.

          • mancityRed6

            it’s the only one they let him know about.
            and if there is another, it just does the same thing.

        • Claire

          I wish I thought that was the worst he’d do if he had a full-scale meltdown. I could support him drinking a ton of coke and chowing down on four buckets of KFC in a row.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        you’re assuming she actually is the moderating force she’s tried to paint herself as- I wouldn’t bit a bit surprised if she would be cheering it on with the rest of the sociopaths in that family. I don’t buy her kinder, gentler hype for a second.

        • Claire

          No, I’m assuming that she’s around to physically direct him to where he needs to go, put him down for a nap, and be a familiar presence that keeps him from freaking out and having a meltdown. His caretaker, in short, as I said. Not his policy advisor.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      umm, DUH!

    • Three Finger Salute

      It would also be in Barron’s interest for him not to be anywhere near the White House or his sociopathic crime family.

      Yes, probably even mum.

      http://acdn.newshunt.com/fetchdata11/20170413/witty/celebrities/images/400x400_MIMAGEbf0c14ca4b098a5da89ad26bc8c338e0.jpg

      • jesterpunk

        Why is it the whole family has so many creepy pictures?

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Too late. They are so tainted and compliant, keeping them just gives them an opportunity to be bigger criminals and for us to have more to hang them with.

  • This is probably a little childish of me, but every time Trump starts talking about how transparent they are, I picture something like this and giggle a little bit. Mostly because of how transphobic I am guessing that he and his people are. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/850caf7b53292fadbd11a2e70311cf2db91f6301fe2296a5956f55aeede0a238.jpg

    • GreenGoldSharpie
      • That is good. I was so afraid you were go send me to a photoshop of Trump in drag. Which is somewhere between normal Trump and nude Trump on the grossness scale.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      In defense of Trump aren’t there plenty of photos with him and trans people?

      • I honestly don’t know. But there are lots of him with people who have had their faces transformed.

      • Is administration is supporting the Gloucester school system in trying to make a trans student dress in the wrong locker room, but that could just be sessions and Trump not really caring.

      • Three Finger Salute

        He even snubbed Caitlyn Jenner and the sister of that poor naive girl who sang at his inauguration. I don’t think Jackie Evancho is an asshole at all, just someone from a conservative family who bought Trump’s lies. Caitlyn Jenner, however, is an asshole. A rich celebrity asshole, and not the first murderer to get off for a crime by being associated with the Kardashians.

  • BosGrl

    The cat peed somewhere in the bedroom. I can’t find it to clean it and my eyes are watering. Little fucker.

    • mancityRed6

      get one of those UV flashlights.

      • BosGrl

        Good thinking!

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        A UV light in the bedroom?

        Lol, have fun with that…

        • mancityRed6

          like staring into the sun.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            try it in a hotel room for real laughs- you’ll be ordering a hazmat suit from the front desk in seconds

            (anyone ever consider the fact that housekeeping never cleans your TV remote control?)

          • mancityRed6

            no. just no.
            depending on where you stay, you don’t need that kind of light to see the stains.

      • schmannity

        Better go with a UTI flashlight.

        • mancityRed6

          never again.
          “it won’t hurt” uh huh, yeah.
          wait….what?

          • schmannity

            TMI

          • mancityRed6

            I used to watch cartoons on that channel, when there wasn’t an afternoon Cubs game.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Tom cat I bet.

      • BosGrl

        Actually he’s a fixed, extremely pampered (by his previous owner) kitty who has been very good up to now :(.

        • Shanzgood

          I had one like that. Wrecked my bedroom carpet, then the rug I got to replace it, and would ALWAYS pee on the bathmat. And in cardboard boxes, laundry baskets, and plastic grocery bags.

          My ex has him now!

          • BosGrl

            My last cat before this one, Katie’s cat Kit, peed on the bathmat. I also had one a long time ago that peed in the laundry basket too, which, when you have little kids and have to do the laundry twice or three times, does not make you adore them, even if they are cute.

        • OutOfOrbit

          Mebbee it’s the weather. i see it been mighty wet there.

    • Serai 1

      You should get a handheld black light. Really, those things are essential if you have a male cat around.

      • BosGrl

        I think you’re right, though I’ve had him since April and this is the first time we’ve had a problem.

        • Serai 1

          I’ve had Frodo since 2010, and while he’s pretty good about using the litterbox, every now and then he says “fuck it” and just pisses where he pleases. You’re going to get that every now and then. Cats use their piss to make statements as well as just, you know, pissing!

  • mancityRed6

    it’s starting to rain here. one website says 89 feeling like 98 but a high of 83 tomorrow

  • Blackest Noobs

    you wanna know why Good Old Jimmy is building them houses?

    BECAUSE THIS IS HOW A REAL CHRISTIAN BEHAVES!!!!
    THIS IS HOW A REAL CHRISTIAN ACTS!!!!!!

    regardless if you believe in the silly guy in the sky or going to fucking heaven and all that jazz, Jimmy FUCKING Carter TALKS the mutherfucking TALK, and most definitely WALKS the mutherfucking WALK.

    i doubt you can say that about Donald Trump honestly….hell….i would be hard pressed to find one fucking Republican who walks the walks who says they’re a Christian.

    Rah Rah Jimmy Carter!!!!

    • mancityRed6

      and he didn’t paint any pictures in his damn bathtub.

    • Carole

      My neighbor built houses with him and went to Plains, GA for a HFH dinner. He is just as nice in person as he seems.

    • Serai 1

      And yet you disrespect him by calling his beliefs silly.

      • Blackest Noobs

        no actually I didn’t…you can interrupt it that way..but you would be wrong.
        and another thing what the fuck is your POINT????

      • lovelydestruction

        A man’s beliefs are valuable only as he exercises them. BlackestNoobs doesn’t have to recognize a god to recognize that someone lives by the precepts of said god. A man’s beliefs are impermeable to whether BlackestNoobs shares them or not.

      • lovelydestruction

        I’ve no doubt that you would stand up for every religion in the same way, but this echoes the call to censorship on the right. If you want to project God as the model for your behavior you’ve got to be willing to take a few knocks on God’s behalf. Or what are beliefs worth?
        A man’s beliefs are valuable only as he exercises them. BlackestNoobs doesn’t have to recognize a god to recognize that someone lives by the precepts of said god. A man’s beliefs are impermeable to whether BlackestNoobs shares them or not.

        • Serai 1

          And my point goes right over your head.

          • lovelydestruction

            Sorry, I’m just standing up for someone who didn’t insulrt

          • Serai 1

            My point is that there was absolutely no call whatsoever to say that. What did it add to the comment? All it did was make him look petty for inserting his own disdain into a comment about a good man who’s never done him any wrong. It’s self-aggrandizing as well as being a backhanded compliment – “He’s great, too bad he’s an idiot.” Nope, sorry. Not having it.

          • lovelydestruction

            OK, agreed. No need to denigrate religion, thereby denigrating believer’s intelligence,
            though perhaps it was just a shorthand way to distance the writer from ‘religion’ to make his point. ‘I disparage ‘RELIGION’ and yet I find this man without the usual hypocrisy.’

  • bookish

    https://www.propublica.org/article/robert-mueller-russia-investigation-enron-task-force

    As he does, the question is whether Mueller will be able to build a case that goes all the way to the top.

    That could depend on what lessons he learned from overseeing the task force that investigated one of the biggest fraud cases in American history: the collapse of the energy giant Enron.

    In December 2001, Enron filed what was then the largest corporate bankruptcy in American history. Just weeks later, Mueller, then the FBI director; Deputy Attorney General Larry Thompson; and the assistant attorney general for the criminal division, Michael Chertoff, formed the Enron Task Force, an elite team of FBI agents and federal prosecutors assigned to investigate and prosecute crimes related to the Houston-based energy trader. Andrew Weissmann, who recently joined Mueller’s Russia team, later led the task force.

    The Enron team was patient and learned from its investigative and trial mistakes. After its yearslong run, it set a high-water mark for complex, high-profile financial inquiries, successfully indicting and imprisoning almost all of the company’s top executives.

    • OutOfOrbit

      At that rate the Orange Fucker will perish of old age.

    • Joe Beese

      Jeff Skilling didn’t have pardon power.

  • proudgrampa

    Cut twice, measure once, right?

    Never was sure about that one…

    • jesterpunk

      Cut once, dont measure then when its wrong yell FAKE NEWS!!!! and blame Democrats for not working with you on it.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        I’d love to see the Dems work with them. “So are we going to single payer then?”

    • As my own grandpa was fond of saying, “Godammit, I’ve cut this board three times, and it’s ~still~ too short!”

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    whatever happen to the R’s/Donald’s promise they weren’t cutting medicaid?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5ed451dfcfab33db25cb0082e2a8e372c65cc4f686a41353dcb260bf76c6d7aa.png

    • jesterpunk

      It was “Alternative facts”

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        “Alternative campaign promises?”

    • SeeTrain65

      They’re like breathing when it’s cold outside. When they hit the air, they disappear.

    • Bill D. Burger

      But it’s gonna’ be a “…wonderful, beautiful, very beautiful” healthcare plan.
      You can believe him. derp, derp, derp….

    • BeachBum

      Lots and lots of words to win poor Red States.

      • therblig

        freedom to exercise your 2nd amendment rights to end the long illness that’s bankrupted your family.

  • Sophia

    Classy lawyer Trump has there.

    Trump Lawyer Marc Kasowitz Threatens Stranger in Emails: ‘Watch Your Back , Bitch’

    https://www.propublica.org/article/marc-kasowitz-trump-lawyer-threat-emails-maddow

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Bill D. Burger

      Final words: “Bbbbbbutt….her emails.”

      • Joe Beese

        Harsh but fair.

    • BosGrl

      This is undoubtedly Obama’s fault.

    • Rasilom

      I am aware that this is incensitive but… Please explain the loss to society in general to me. I am kind of the opinion we are.all better off with out him.

      • Paperless Tiger

        He thought so too. Or did he?

      • BosGrl

        Anyone’s death should be mourned. Even the awful people. They were children once with hopes and dreams and people who loved them unconditionally.

        • Claire

          I’ll grant you the “hopes and dreams” part, but the “people who loved them unconditionally” is just not accurate for a whole, whole lot of people. Exhibit A: Anyone whose last name is Trump.

          • BosGrl

            Everyone has someone who loves them unconditionally. Even Trumps. And pets count.

          • Claire

            Jesus. Please stop saying this. I know you want it to be true, but no. It’s just really not. There are children in this world who live in horrifying abuse and neglect and you’re just erasing them. I don’t know why, but please, please be sensitive and respectful enough to stop doing it.

      • Joe Beese

        He would have to have been more spectacularly evil before I’d cross from “not grieving even one little bit” to public celebration of his death.

        YMMV

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        He used helium to do himself in.

        The loss to society? A bunch of balloons that could have made someone’s birthday happy. You’re heartless not to care about that!!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Is Hannity reporting this as another one of Hillary’s victims?

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      a Minnesota state death record filed in Olmsted County that says Smith committed suicide in a hotel near the Mayo Clinic at 1:17 p.m. on Sunday, May 14. He was found with a bag over his head with a source of helium attached.

      Obviously HILLARY DID IT, and the Helium is totally a calling card referring to TRUMP BEING A CLOWN!!!11 !!11,1

      SEAN HANNITY, PLEAS READ THIS AND INVERSSTIGAT!!! ASAPPPP!!

    • Jukesgrrl

      “…a “quietly generous champion of efforts to ensure a more economically and politically secure world.”

      Well, that’s one way to put it …

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Vince Foster Libelz!!1!!1

  • Blackest Noobs

    rumour mill…The Repubs Healthcare Bill is DEAD AGAIN.

    so Turtle is pretty good at preventing the black guy from having his Supreme Court Justice pick but seems to know fuck-all how to push forth a bill.

    IT IS FUCKING HILARIOUS….7 goddamn glorious years and now…they’re in power in all houses and the white house..and STILL cannot get their shit together.

    Rule # 1 of Governing
    1) You don’t elect people who hate govt into govt
    2) YOU. DO. NOT. ELECT. PEOPLE. WHO. HATE. GOVT. INTO. GOVT.

    • miss_grundy

      I hope Bamz and Michelle are having a giggle at the Turtle’s expense.

      • Rasilom

        My friend they have had to call in paramedics cause neither of them have been able to do anything but laugh hystericaly.

    • mancityRed6

      making government small enough to drown in a bathtub doesn’t mean they have to give up that paycheck, though.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    50,000 galloon oil spill in Bastrop (near austin) after contractor cuts the pipeline on accident.

    Sigh.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Only 50k? Phuttt

  • Sheepshagger

    An actual statement from the president of America:

    “And I’ll give you an example: As horrible as it sounds, when they throw the large sacks of drugs over, and if you have people on the other side of the wall, you don’t see them – they hit you on the head with 60 pounds of stuff? It’s over,” Trump continued. “As crazy as that sounds, you need transparency through that wall. But we have some incredible designs.”

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Did they invent transparent aluminum while I was asleep?

      • Rasilom

        Just ask Scotty, he has the formula…

        • BosGrl

          The other day someone was complaining about iPhones and broken glass and I said, “I don’t know why they don’t use that transparent aluminum. Oh wait… that’s from Star Trek.” It was so stupid I couldn’t stop laughing long enough to feel humiliated.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Has to be transparent solar panels, no?

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i live on teh border, typically they like to throw drugs over…WHEN NO ONE IS WATCHING.

      Otherwise, sorta defeats the purpose. And no, in my area at least, people aren’t typically out wandering around where the smugglers operate.

    • Vecchioivan

      Worst Road Runner cartoon ever.

      • Sheepshagger

        Maybe that’s Donald’s problem? Got hit in the head with a sixty pound bag of coke?

    • 1) Shouldn’t Trump want the catchers to get hit with the heavy bags.
      2) I doubt anyone is stupid enough to try to catch a sixty pound bag.
      3) A transparent wall would make drones really easy to use.

    • Blackest Noobs

      if dumbfucks would get off their Puritan values horse and just legalize it all…we would have none of these so-called problems….cuz like no duh…the war on drugs is stupid and futile.

      • Vecchioivan

        But it creates lots of jobs for cops and DEA agents and prosecutors and private prison entrepreneurs . . .

        • Blackest Noobs

          and yet those fucking cops seem to focus on only the brown-skinned people despite the fact it is WHITEY DOING ALL THE FUCKING DRUGS ( <—ok not true true but you white kids do more than your fairshare of the drugs..shit..y'all tend to go a bit overboard with the illegal drugs…)

          • mancityRed6

            I wish. it’s at least a 10 hour drive to Denver now.

          • Blackest Noobs

            Nevada got a weed shortage ( well no shortage just dumb state law about transporting it)

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            It’s ill eagle in the first place cuz the blahs and their jazzy music. Also systemic racism and profit, but, well, the more things change…

      • Three Finger Salute

        Portugal FTW. Very proud of my ancestral homeland.

    • jesterpunk

      He wants a transparent wall covered in solar panels.

      http://data.whicdn.com/images/28173562/large.jpg

    • hudson srinivasan

      please tell me it is true that a 60 pound sack was thrown the guys head and that it is broke his neck and eventually his synapses and hence disoriented the guy.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      That’s the job I want. Standing in a field of rye catching large bags of cocaine so they don’t land on children.

      • BosGrl

        Holden Caulfield for President! Well, he can’t do any worse…

      • Rasilom

        And you will share right? (Disclamer I do not use coke but would love to see what my cat thinks of it! Ok I will show myself out and no I would never give my cat coke. But daym.the mental image is impressive as I know that little bastard.)

    • Jukesgrrl

      As my dear Grandma used to say (clutching her head in her hands), “Sweet Mother of God…” If she wasn’t already dead, Mein Fubar would have killed her.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Oh! A Transparent Wall™, eh?

      Is this perchance going to be made by the same company that made your New Clothes, Emperor Donald?

      • WotsAllThisThen

        The contractors just told him the wall is transparent. And electrified, so don’t try to touch it.

        • LucindathePook

          Jeez, whatever you do, don’t tell Pence not to touch it.

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          Eh, he’ll skip out on the bill anyway.

      • Claire

        A wall that is both transparent AND covered in solar panels!

    • Sophia
    • Transparent! You mean like the Emperor’s New Clothes were transparent?

      Okay then.

  • Rasilom

    Who’s the bad ass? Jimmy Carter thats who!!! He gets more done by 7am on a Monday that that shit heal the shit gibbon does in two weeks. All my best to him and yes, go keep swining that hammer Mr. President, you give us all pride and hope.

    • I suspect that future historians will write about Carter something on the order of “He was one of the finest Americans to have ever been President. Sadly, the world didn’t notice.”

      • Paperless Tiger

        Also too, not a criminal. Hooray!

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        And even sadlyer, Americans hated him for it.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          He went to 3 Mile Island, while it was still being cleaned up. Him and Roslynn. So whenever anyone criticized him after that, in my hearing? They got a lecture about how big and brass Jimmeh’s balls are.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Oh, Trump has done plenty by 7am Monday morning. It typically involves pissing off half the world with poorly spelled tweets about what news lady anchor was bleeding from her wherever.

      My, how far the Presidency has fallen…

  • proudgrampa
    • Bill D. Burger

      You know who else was a carpenter?

      (A) Karen

      (…..and Jeebus)

      • Jeebus was just a nice Jewish boy who grew up and went into his Daddy’s business.

        • Sheepshagger

          Genocide?

          • Bill D. Burger

            At least plagues and mass killings!

          • Carpe Vagenda

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7aa267ba195550e44d1860934f821f86b96f29e7b768525185653ea829b69bd9.jpg

            God Angrily Clarifies ‘Don’t Kill’ Rule

            NEW YORK—Responding to recent events on Earth, God, the omniscient creator-deity worshipped by billions of followers of various faiths for more than 6,000 years, angrily clarified His longtime stance against humans killing each other Monday.

            “Look, I don’t know, maybe I haven’t made myself completely clear, so for the record, here it is again,” said the Lord, His divine face betraying visible emotion during a press conference near the site of thefallen Twin Towers. “Somehow, people keep coming up with the idea that Iwant them to kill their neighbor. Well, I don’t. And to be honest, I’m really getting sick and tired of it. Get it straight. Not only do I not want anybody to kill anyone, but I specifically commanded you not to, in really simple terms that anybody ought to be able to understand.”

            Worshipped by Christians, Jews, and Muslims alike, God said His name has been invoked countless times over the centuries as a reason to kill in what He called “an unending cycle of violence.” “I don’t care how holy somebody claims to be,” God said. “If a persontells you it’s My will that they kill someone, they’re wrong. Got it? Idon’t care what religion you are, or who you think your enemy is, here it is one more time: No killing, in My name or anyone else’s, ever again.”

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            “Nevermind that flood, those plagues, and what I sent my kid to do. Damn it, you fuckers just keep your humble little heads down and tithe, will ya?! Sheesh. I’m running out of beer money up here!”

          • Carpe Vagenda

            an honest god is the noblest work of man

        • Vecchioivan

          The boss’s son.

      • shastakoala

        An ant?

      • Three Finger Salute

        Harrison Ford

  • Jukesgrrl

    The oldz have to be very careful with dehydration. Esp. because it’s often related to urinary tract infections, which is another problem that’s very dangerous for even fairly healthy elders.

    • proudgrampa

      I definitely need glasses.

      I read that as “farty healthy elders.”

      • Zombishroom

        Well, I guess we do get fartier as we age.

        • Jonny On Maui

          What I hate is I use to know if it was a fart. Now, old, I no longer have the confidence as to gas or solid. Dammit! Where’s a cloud for me to yell at?

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Yes, the ever popular ‘shart’! ~ know it well.

          • Zombishroom

            I check my pants after every one. I’m 47 years old with too many mistakes.

        • proudgrampa

          It means all the parts are working, right?

  • Blanche Beecham

    Feel better, Jimmy! we need someone with authentic American leadership out there.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Off to do some cleaning (might as well put my rage-fueled energy to good use) for now.
    Leaving with this update–please please please have him testify in open session on CSPAN:

    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/885628006261248000

    • ariel_gee_398

      Please remember to ask him for phone records and other emails, also too.

      • Ryan Denniston

        As well as what other contact with Russians he’s had.

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        Make sure to ask him two different ways

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Oh man, if it is an open hearing, there will be better ratings than Comey Day!

      • Claire

        God, I hope it’s an open hearing. No way does he have enough intelligence or low cunning not to incriminate himself and his entire family.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      He’ll fold like a cheap lawn chair.

  • Sheepshagger

    https://twitter.com/hadas_gold/status/885630442665381889

    The gravity and majesty of the presidency.

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    Housing costs in Canada are at historic highs because some assholes residing in their neighbor to the South are making it impossible for decent people to live there.

    • Three Finger Salute

      China too. A lot of the property the Chinese nationals bought sits empty. One, because some got seized by the government, and two because they just bought it for the purpose of padding their portfolios. There’s a foreign-buyer tax in Ontario now that’s supposed to remedy this but it may be too late to deflate the bubble. Canada’s always about a decade behind us. Their recession is just around the corner “because it’s 2007.” ‘Course, blame the greedy cons for opening that door because they didn’t care about selling the country off to the highest bidder — and then saddling the blame on the new guy who’s trying to clean it up. Just like, well, Obama got blamed for Bush’s recession.

  • Lyly Sirivong
    • Nounverb911

      Mrs Macron on the other hand….

    • BosGrl

      How sturdy is that window in the Eiffel Tower? Asking for a friend…

      • Panika MCD

        has had to hold back decades worth of idiots.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i have literally never seen her smile that big.

      • Serai 1

        I dunno. Looks like her usual blindingly fake smile.

      • Ωbjectifier

        She’s among civilized people for a change.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      She’s thinking 3-way after Donald goes to bed.

      • Bill D. Burger

        Or trying to get him to look, to lean, way over the observation deck while she ‘steadies’ him.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Brigitte looks like she’s about to cry. Or vomit. Maybe they’re serving canned clams in honor of His Orangeness. Or burnt steak with ketchup. Either way, poor woman.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Maybe she’s visualising throwing him through that window.

  • hudson srinivasan

    folks, did you btw know that canada has an opioid epidemic too? greater than their own population of aids have been since dying due to this?

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    so much winning!

    Washington (CNN)President Donald Trump’s commission aimed at fighting opioid abuse and devising a strategy to provide treatment to those addicted will miss — for the second time — its deadline to file an interim report to the President, according to a notice posted by the group.

    • hudson srinivasan

      i swear i dont care about anything else. too many people dying because of this. i have heard this repeated in my own little circle of experience multiple times -in commute and amongst my own townsmen. we can’t ignore this more.

    • Claire

      Is anyone even working on it? I thought Jared was supposed to be curing opioid abuse, but he seems to be distracted with bringing peace to the Middle East and staying out of jail.

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        Though not exactly in that order.

  • The last Christian President we ever had.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Obama’s a practicing Christian? And by practicing I mean his Christian faith informs his actions.

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        In a good way.

  • Bill D. Burger

    You know what else is “high quality” and “transparent” other than Russkie Junior the Traitor? That ‘Coming Attraction’ ____ The Great Solar Wall of Trump. Yup! I said solar wall…

    Trump: Not joking about solar wall
    BY RAFAEL BERNAL – 07/13/17 04:14 PM EDT
    A reporter on board Air Force One on the way to France asked Trump whether he was joking about building a “solar wall.”
    “No, not joking, no. There is a chance that we can do a solar wall. We have major companies looking at that,” replied Trump.
    Trump added that “there is a very good chance” a solar wall could be built, and that “there’s no better place for solar than the Mexico border — the southern border.”
    ____________________________
    Trump said the wall would have to be see-through, a demand that’s been made by some Border Patrol officials who oversee the border.
    Department of Homeland Security (DHS) Secretary John Kelly told Congress in February that officers under his command had asked for a barrier through which they could see the other side.
    “You have to be able to see through it. In other words, if you can’t see through that wall — so it could be a steel wall with openings, but you have to have openings because you have to see what’s on the other side of the wall,” said Trump Thursday.]

    (One proposal below using steel mesh inside plexi.)
    Soo’ pretty! Just don’t lob a brick at it.
    http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/341934-trump-not-joking-about-solar-wall

    http://static1.businessinsider.com/image/5919bb84e559f181008b5452-1190-625/a-construction-firm-submitted-this-proposal-for-trumps-border-wall-thats-a-one-way-sheet-of-plexiglass.jpg

    • Ryan Denniston

      “”No, not joking, no. There is a chance that we can do a solar wall. We have major companies looking at that,” replied Trump.”

      Yah. I bet they are. The biggest grift to come along in decades.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Star Wars Libelz1!!1!!1

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          Iraq Reconstruction libelz!!

    • Joe Beese

      I thought “solar” was anathema to his base as some kind of liberal elitism.

      • therblig

        they’d love a windmill wall with razor sharp blades to chop immigrants into little pieces.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      ya know what seems to work well – tough see throught fucking fences.

      (but more so was “Operation Hold the Line” back in the 90 ‘s.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/36c3e14911eaf084531fe0039fbb9e7ce0f3a23f93771a6cda6dfa4014a833e0.jpg

    • Panika MCD

      it was proposed by an Austin engineer who was trolling the White House, but it’s possible that if it provides power to both sides that it could be a shared project…still probably won’t stop people.

    • Bozilingus

      Coal-powered electric generators to run electricity though the fence and to provide light 24/7. Put the coal miners back to work, #MakeAmericaGoofyAgain.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Think I could sell Two Scoops on a company that builds $1200 solar clothes dryers?

  • mancityRed6

    it’s cloudy enough, and I swear I heard rain, but it only lasted a minute.

  • Three Finger Salute

    Even Jimmy Carter left for Canada because that’s where the nice people are.

    Please universe, don’t let another of Pierre’s pallbearers die…

  • Sheepshagger
    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Nope

    • Paperless Tiger

      Someone really should tell him what Bastille Day is.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Do we have to or can you just give us the Cliff’s Notes?

      • Joe Beese

        It starts “So I was asked to go by the President, who I get along with very well, despite a lot of fake news.”

        I stopped there.

    • Sophia

      Hey! Did Melania beat him off the plane this time? She got tired of always being left behind?

      • shastakoala

        If she gets far enough ahead of him he can’t try and grab her hand.

        • Jukesgrrl

          But when the inevitable fall comes, she would be crushed.

      • Gary Charound

        It’s an eight hour flight, so there wasn’t time to beat him off.

    • Ryan Denniston

      “And I’ll give you an example. As horrible as it sounds, when they throw
      the large sacks of drugs over, and if you have people on the other side
      of the wall, you don’t see them — they hit you on the head with 60
      pounds of stuff? It’s over. As crazy as that sounds, you need
      transparency through that wall. But we have some incredible designs.”

      Just like all those who helped the people of the Warsaw Ghetto survive.

      • Ωbjectifier

        While he’s in France he should ask them how well the Maginot Line kept out the Bosch.

        • Jukesgrrl

          Cruel, but funny.

    • Sophia

      Did they ask the questions in French and he didn’t understand so he just tossed out whatever he felt like saying for an answer?

      • AJ Milne

        Not real sure this would make much difference…

        … let’s face it, he barely even speaks English.

      • Three Finger Salute

        I’ll never forget when he fuddle-duddled with his earpiece because he was caught off guard by Trudeau speaking French.

  • Panika MCD

    does it seem a little weird that Tsarina Tic Tacs was complementing Macron after publicly supporting Le Pen?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      No, he’s a duplicitous motherfucker and he’s not smart enough to realize everyone else sees through his crap

  • Nounverb911

    Wait did donnie get hit by lightning again?
    https://twitter.com/justinsink/status/885606374293549059

    • Bill D. Burger

      I haven’t been to Paris since the twinkling lights were put on the tower. Would love to see that in person.

      • Yr. Gma

        It’s impressive. They sometimes do different colors.

  • Nounverb911

    Time to start trolling trumps lawyer Marc Kasowitz.
    https://twitter.com/BraddJaffy/status/885601376893534209

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Administration is going to use the “Yeah, but other people have it worse” defense. “We can’t talk about Russia because people are DYING in Syria.”

    Yeah, people who on any other day you wouldn’t give a tinker’s damn about.
    https://twitter.com/TheLeadCNN/status/885598676415954945

    • proudgrampa

      If “Seb Gorka” is not a Russian agent, I don’t know who is.

      • Paperless Tiger

        Anh, so’s yer president!

    • jesterpunk

      If the White House was really concerned they wouldn’t be blocking Syrian refugees from coming to the US.

    • Joe Beese

      The superciliousness of this guy gives me evil thoughts.

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        But remember, it’s TEH LIBRALS who are elitist smug know-it-all jerks.

    • Joe Beese

      According to Axios, Trump circled the West Wing on Wednesday night, praising his Deputy Assistant to White House staffers.

      “Did you see Gorka?” Trump reportedly said. “So great, I mean really, truly great.”

      http://www.mediaite.com/online/trump-is-reportedly-raving-about-seb-gorkas-combative-cable-news-appearances-really-truly-great/

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      And people are dying in Syria in large part because of… which superpower? Come on, Seb, you know this. Rhymes with ‘Bussia’?

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Well, gald to know Jeff Sessions has time to do real law enforcement still:

    Sessions announces major health care fraud scheme takedown operation

    WASHINGTON (AP) — U.S. prosecutors announced Thursday that they have charged more than 400 people with taking part in health care fraud and opioid scams that totaled $1.3 billion in false billing.

    Trump will crow about this, but i’m guessing an op like this would be years in the making.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Rick Scott?

      • mancityRed6

        sadly, no.

    • BosGrl

      I don’t care if he crows, I’m glad it was done. People think they’re going to get rehab; they go to these resort-like places, their insurance gets billed, and they don’t get proper care. These scams are big in places like Florida and they have to be shut down.

      • mancityRed6

        a smallish portion (somewhere from an 1/8th to a quarter were doctors who over prescribe opioids

        • BosGrl

          Good! Some of these scam places also sell addicts drugs. It is despicable.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Florida accounted for something like a third of all opiate prescriptions in the U.S. It was insane.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        yeah, i remember those stories back in florida…seemed like every 2 or 3 days, 4 or 5 people were getting popped for fraud.

        • mancityRed6

          like Limbaugh?

        • stubbornirishlass

          Unfortunately that did not apply to their governor. Because IOKIYAR.

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        Wait, you think they’re going to charge the owners and not the patients? That’s sweet!

  • Joe Beese
    • jesterpunk

      Did he accidentally watch his show?

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      weird, i feel that way when I see hannity, except wiht more smugness.

    • mancityRed6

      at least his radio show is just as bad as his tv show.

    • Ryan Denniston

      You’re going to have chapped lips at this rate. Slow down. The Don can go a day or two with a handie.

    • BosGrl

      LOL

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Are we sure he was watching a TV and not a mirror?

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Sean Hannititty’s slow metamorphosis into a clone of Donald J. Trump continues.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      ‘One-sided’ = ‘Only reports facts.’

  • Nounverb911

    And the list of GOPers involved just gets bigger and bigger:
    https://twitter.com/jdd2169/status/885599886502002688

  • Bill D. Burger

    Just looking at Bradd Jaffy’s response to Trump’s lies reminds me this morning of Joe Scar’: “That one tweet of Trump’s has so many lies, I don’t have time to parse them all.”

    lmao

    https://twitter.com/BraddJaffy/status/885583341231255552

    • Ryan Denniston

      Maybe if they’re wearing a wire.

  • Bill D. Burger

    The evolution of Russiagate as seen through the eyes of THE Trump Ass Kisser extraordinaire.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DEo6ITWXgAAKnyq.jpg

    • Joe Beese

      Stage 7: It was illegal, but necessary to defend America from Hillary Clinton

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Stage 8

        BENGHAZI!!111!!!!1!

      • NotDarkYet

        Somewhere in there has gotta be a stage where the woman with the strange hair appears, holding flash cards and explaining[?] “no collusion.”

    • Ryan Denniston

      Trump wanted to go to prison. It shifts many of his costs onto taxpayers.

  • Lizzietish81
    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      We (as a species and culture) can do things like this. While at the same time murdering our environment and each other. One day some alien species will happen across the frozen, battered hulk of Pioneer or Voyager, trace it back to its home planet, and find out it’s an uninhabitable wasteland, and wonder WTF happened.

      • Lizzietish81

        They’ll look at the gold disc on voyager, discover disco, and decide we had it coming.

  • Sophia

    Okay, every time I scroll up to see the new non-comments that creepy picture of Cruz is there. I am going to have nightmares tonight and it will be Wonkette’s fault. Looks like Jack Nicholson peering through the door in The Shining

  • Bill D. Burger

    Great thread by Hayes:

    https://twitter.com/chrislhayes/status/885580149047136256

    Well worth a read.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Has anyone noticed that Don Jr. looks like a shitty version of Winter Soldier?

  • Nounverb911

    Wonder what Rachel’s going to talk about tonight?
    https://twitter.com/maddow/status/885586435746779136

  • ken_kukec

    “… so far nobody has been able to give me any good reason for junking my first instinctive reaction to Jimmy Carter, which was that I liked him……. And if the editors of Time magazine and the friends of Hubert Humphrey consider that ‘bizarre,’ fuck them. I liked Jimmy Carter the first time I met him, and in the two years that have passed since that Derby Day in Georgia I have come to know him a hell of a lot better … and I still like Jimmy Carter. He is one of the most intelligent politicians I’ve ever met, and also one of the strangest. … Admittedly, a vote for Carter requires a certain leap of faith, but on the evidence I don’t mind taking it.”

    — Hunter S. Thompson

    • proudgrampa

      Hunter was a Very Smart Cookie.

    • Serai 1

      Intelligent, definitely. It’s why the country rejected him in favor of a callous, bigoted, two-faced, hypocritical, lying sack of shit. Can’t have a president who actually cares about people, after all.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Zippy W Pinhead

      LOLWUT?

      Does this idjit think they just randomly toss drugs over the wall without knowing who is on the other side? Scratch that, obviously they are counting on the base being that fucking dumb. The fact is about 75-80% of the drugs coming across the Messican border pass through legal ports of entry hidden in commercial shipping.

      • Count Awesome

        So it’s like being locked in a fat farm but instead of Big Macs being tossed over the fence it’s drugs.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          More like a zoo, with glass walls.

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          Which then kill you when they hit you in the head. Yes. It’s simply cray.

      • Jeff Ackerman

        The goofy fuckers will be lining up along the wall with a catchers mitt on.

      • Jenny

        They think smuggling drugs is just like starring in a looney toon.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Luckily, Hunter Thompson is quoted just below you, so I am sure he won’t mind explaining it to us.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      About 70,000 people in 3 states elected their senile racist uncle to be Presisent.

      • Three Finger Salute

        I’ve got it worse. In the 80s, my alcoholic, abusive, unpredictable father looked like Trump. Today he looks like Bannon. He’s always behaved like both.

  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Oh noes! The untuckit.com commercial with the guy that looks like and android!

  • Joe Beese

    Jared Kushner has been pressing other White House aides to more vigorously defend the meeting between Donald Trump Jr. and a Kremlin-linked lawyer that Kushner also attended, but has faced resistance from some of Trump’s top press aides, according to six sources familiar with the matter.

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/07/13/kushner-pushed-aggressive-defense-russia-meeting-240535

    You also advised a “vigorous” approach to dealing with the Comey threat.

    How’d that work out for you, dumbass?

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Jared Kushner is the one guy I would expect to take a hostage in order to get away like the end of some 80s action flick.

      • Count Awesome

        I see him more as Richard Chamberlain’s character in “The Towering Inferno”

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        Jared Kushner is the one guy I would expect to take a hostage in order to get away…
        FIFY because he could survive by hiding at the Four Seasons and feasting on their souls for weeks. Unless Nepotism Barbie is his hostage, then he’ll starve in a matter of minutes.

      • Three Finger Salute

        But only if Robert Carradine from Revenge of the Nerds was playing the role. Maybe flash forward a few years and have 14 year old Fred Savage playing adult Jared, but with the same crackling voice.

  • Pookabun

    Can Jimmy Carter be my dad? <3

    • Three Finger Salute

      True story: My great-grandfather (my mother’s grandfather, on her mother’s side) died a few months before my mom was born. Her father’s father had died almost a decade earlier. So my mother never had a grandpa. Instead she used to imagine that Eisenhower was her granddad, and would play in the yard carrying the garden tools pretending to be his golf caddy.

  • Joe Beese

    The next arrival in “the world’s greatest deliberative body”.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OrNS2zbTZg

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      If anyone can make the Republican congress even stupider, it will be this jackhole.

      • jesuswasablack

        Kid Rock is a fucking imbecile for sure, but do you really think he dumber than this fuckstick?
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3E0a_60PMR8

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          The Gohmert Scale of Terminal Stupidity has an infinite top end.

      • Lordpnut

        I kinda enjoy playing “Rock and Roll Jesus” on guitar. Thinking about modifying it to “Rock and Roll Jimmy. ”
        I’ll show myself out.

  • Jonny On Maui
    • TJ Barke

      Know why they face ridicule? Cuz they’re fucking ridiculous.
      Go pro, weather balloon. Bam, proof earth is round.

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        These are an especially fact resistant strain of morons.

      • Bobathonic

        Before that we had to watch for the Earth’s shadow on the moon.

    • Joe Beese

      “Some will accept it, some won’t. But love it or hate it, you can’t ignore Flat Earth.”

      Heh, watch me.

    • proudgrampa

      Forget it, Jake. It’s Ft. Collins.

    • Bananas Foster

      People who believe that regular old human beings can create and maintain the massive scale conspiracies that would be necessary for the flat earthers to be right make me want to point and laugh.

      If they gather in a group, I can fulfill my desire…

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        they say they want to encourage critical thinking, and then use the flimsiest, stupidest, arguments.

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        IKR? We can’t even fix a health care system we created!

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      ““There’s so much evidence once you set aside your preprogrammed learning and begin to look at things objectively with a critical eye,” says Bob Knodel, a Denver resident and featured guest at a recent Tuesday meeting. “You learn soon that what we’re taught is mainly propaganda.””

      GROAN….there are no longer facts, just “differences of opinion.”

    • SayItWithWookies

      “I’ve researched conspiracies for a long time,” he says. “I’ve looked
      very critically at NASA. Why is it that the astronauts have conflicting
      stories about the sky? Is it bright with stars, or a deep velvet black?”

      I’ve studied conspiracies too, and these people are ignoring the one right in front of them. Hell, why do earthlings have conflicting stories about the sky? Some say it’s bright blue; others that it’s pitch black; glowing orange; or gray and leaking. Everyone knows things exist only in one state, ever.

  • tegrat

    Crap, whose gonna cover that ambulance ride? Oh, right….

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    Jimmy Carter is the only man in this universe who can inspire me to spell Christian properly.

    For everybody else, it’s just christain.

  • Joe Beese

    Where’s the trust, man?

    The House is set to vote Friday on a controversial GOP proposal identifying “Islamic religious doctrines, concepts or schools of thought” that could be used by terrorist groups — something opponents say is unconstitutional and will lead to the targeting of Muslims.

    The amendment, drafted by conservative Republican Rep. Trent Franks of Arizona, also calls for the Pentagon to identify Islamic leaders that preach peaceful beliefs versus those that espouse extremist views.

    The proposal has drawn heavy criticism from Muslim lawmakers serving in Congress, Muslim interest groups and the American Civil Liberties Union, who say the proposal would unfairly target Muslims. They don’t trust the Trump administration to conduct the analysis.

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/07/13/house-vote-study-of-islam-240537

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      so weird, they already outlawed (or tried to) ethnic studies for the messicans – now the muslims – it’s ALMOST as if they want to muzzle any and all discussion of “otherness”.

      • Bobathonic

        They want everyone to be satisfied with normal white.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      As an Arizonan, I am ashamed about that fucking Trent Franks piece of shit.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Again, substitute “Jewish” for “Islamic” and tell me how this doesn’t sound like something from Berlin circa 1937?

    • TootsStansbury

      And Christianic extremist doctrines are included in all that?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I’m here from the government and I intend to pass a law allowing me to sit in judgment of your religious beliefs. What could go wrong?

      Jesus fuck these people are dopes- can we pass a law to judge the “good” Christian sects from the “bad” ones, too?

    • Covfefe

      Why can’t we have the Pentagon identify Christian leaders that preach peaceful belefs as opposed to those who espouse extremist views?

      • Covfefe

        While they’re at it, the Pentagon can issue an updated Bible that will resolve all the controversies and inconsistent passages and constitute are truly American Bible. MAGA.

    • Sophia

      Wonder what would cause them to distrust the Trump administration

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Goddamnit all, I love Carter so much.

  • jesuswasablack

    Along with Obama, Jimmy Carter is the only honest man to sit in the oval office since I’ve been alive, and I’m fucking old!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQp7fSX6PfI

    • Rags

      I like Ike.

  • Nounverb911
    • TootsStansbury

      “My truck is full of eels.”

      Well it was.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        shoulda used a hovercraft.

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          Why? Did his nipples explode with delight?

    • Count Awesome

      Looks messy as fuck, but eel is just so tasty.

    • DainBramage

      Is this one of the signs of the apocalypse?

    • Sheepshagger

      Hand jobs for Cthulhu!

    • Bozilingus
    • TootsStansbury

      Aren’t there pine martens or otters or some cute, furry creatures around to nom nom the eels?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        at least until they get run over by passing traffic

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Too bad they’ve reduced funding for eels on wheels

    • RobKanC

      Cthulu has risen!!!!

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    oh look, m ore good news /s:

    New York (AFP) – Rising temperatures due to global warming will make it harder for aircraft to take off in coming decades, a US study warned Thursday weeks after heat-related groundings in Arizona.

    Scientists warn that if planet-warming emissions continue unabated, aircraft fuel capacities and payload weights will have to be reduced by up to four percent on the hottest days for some aircraft.

    During the hottest parts of the day, 10 to 30 percent of fully loaded planes may have to remove some fuel, cargo or passengers, or wait for cooler hours to fly, said the study published in the journal Climatic Change.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Also too more turbulence. But it’s not like you’ll have a reason to visit Europe or anything.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        I love the rookie fliers when we hit those mid afternoon heat columns coming up from the desert floor and they lose their shit

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          a reporter in Las Vegas told me about that but during a helicopter ride…apparently that was quite a ride.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            it happens from late May until early September her- the regulars don’t give it a second thought. It’s the monsoons and their microbursts we worry about…

      • BosGrl

        Jim doesn’t go to Paris anymore, so why bother?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      To be fair, that has been a long time problem here in AZ, though making it worse does seem especially stupid, especially for hubs like Sky Harbor (or even DFW)

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Rising temperatures have made it harder for me to load my damn U-haul. I just dropped below 90 with the help of a thunderstorm.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      We told you you need us, but no, you never listen, do you?
      – Amtrak

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i actually like amtrak, if i have the time.

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          Me too. Train travel is so civilised compared to the goddamned airlines. At least Amtrak doesn’t treat you like inconveniently willful cargo.

  • Sophia
    • Angela Ruzzo

      Hahahahahahahahahaha! I laughed so loud the cats ran and hid. Thanks.

    • LucindathePook

      Margaret Hamilton libelz!

  • Everrett Fanuelli
    • Reximus

      did you see the suicide note he left? didn’t want to lose his life insurance payout

      ‘In the note recovered by police, Smith apologized to authorities and said that “NO FOUL PLAY WHATSOEVER” was involved in his death. He wrote that he was taking his own life because of a “RECENT BAD TURN IN HEALTH SINCE JANUARY, 2017” and timing related “TO LIFE INSURANCE OF $5 MILLION EXPIRING.”

      • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

        Wonder who his beneficiary is?

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I was going to ask what President Fuckpaws did to disgrace himself and our country in France today, but scrolling through today’s posts, I see that topic has already been covered. Color me shocked.

    • jesuswasablack

      Oh he just told the french first lady she had a nice ass, no big!

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Did he do the Ivanka Maneuver on her?

        • ariel_gee_398

          She has her own money, so she stiff-armed him when he tried to pull her in.

      • Vecchioivan

        As one does.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Who among us…

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      His speech was so chock full of “verys, beautifuls and tremendouses” that it was hard to believe that speech was written.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        When everything comes with a superlative, everything will become mediocre.

        — Hamilton Lao Tsu Ω

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Donald Trump also learned a new fact: France helped us in the Revolutionary War which, sad but true, many Americans are unaware of.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Oh fuck me. Did he do the “many people are saying” thing?

        • Everrett Fanuelli

          No, more like “France is are oldest ally. Many people don’t know that.”

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            A narcissist AND an ignoramus. He believes everyone else is a bigger fucking imbecile than he is.

          • Everrett Fanuelli

            That’s his way of saying he didn’t know that.

          • BosGrl

            He only knows “Lafayette” because it’s a French department store where he bought Marla Maples underwear once.

          • BoatOfVelociraptors

            … and I learned a little secret. Water flows DOWN hill.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Donnie will announce on Twitter how amazed he is that France helped us in the Revolutionary War, emphasizing how absolutely nobody knew this before and wondering why it was being kept secret by Hillary and Obama. Who knew!?!??111

          Or something equally ridiculous.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            de Tocqueville would’ve shot himself had he encountered this fucking barbarian.

          • Lafayette would have shot him

          • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

            Washington would have shot him. He had no tolerance for treason.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            I have been ready to shoot myself for months because of this fucking douchkazoo. But I won’t because the train wreck is so fucking mesmerizing.

          • Well, i’m guessing he doesn’t know this ditty:

            https://youtu.be/fiLrUTMAyBw

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          the nobody knew thing

      • RobKanC

        I don’t remember George Washington waving a white flag in the revolutionary war.

        • Everrett Fanuelli

          I don’t get this, but it sounds ignorant.

          • janecita

            The stupid, offensive and ignorant “cheese eating surrender monkeys,” BS that many Americans use when speaking of the French.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            They did kind of fuck up in WWII.

          • janecita

            A LOT of people did, but the French Resistance was badass.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            But the rest of ’em didn’t sign on to help the Nazis.

          • Everrett Fanuelli

            True if you refuse to acknowledge the resistance.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Turns out a lot more people claimed to have been a part of the resistance than actually were.

          • janecita

            Are you sure? What about the Polish,Ukrainians, Hungarians, and even “neutral” Sweden?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Point taken. But I think only the French formed a collaborationist government.

          • Everrett Fanuelli

            Pretty sure that happened in the other countries that Germany invaded.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Then everybody helped the Nazis. I suppose that makes it OK that the French did too?

          • Everrett Fanuelli

            I don’t understand your logic with this argument. When the Nazis invaded these countries they had to set up provisional governments with amenable people of these countries. This is what happens. It happened when the Soviets invaded and happened when we invaded Iraq

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I take a dim view of anyone who aligned themselves with the Nazis…that includes America First fascists, eastern European antisemites, or anyone who sniffed the wind and saw an advantage. It’s like turning a blind eye to Trump’s misogyny and treason because one wants to give a tax break to the wealthy. I realize there was a lot of life and death pressure to collaborate, but the fact that many people in similar straits chose to resist in every way possible sets the moral standard. This has been true in every similar situation throughout history; there were always good people who refused to be a part of it. I’m not anti-French, any more than I am anti-American for acknowledging some of the grievous misdeed our country is responsible for. I do think the French were spectacularly unprepared and inept when the war started-as were the Brits and Americans-but they conceded very quickly and seemed almost eager to abet the Nazis afterwards. The French Resistance was real and incredibly brave, but also romanticized and overstated in terms of the number of people actually engaged. And DeGaulle was a gigantic pain in the Allies’ ass at the end of the war.

          • georgiaburning

            Every Nazi-occupied country (except Poland) had collaborators form a civil goverment. All had resistance movements as well.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Cuz they thought it would be a repeat of WW1. The French military of that time didn’t learn. The Germans did.

          • Everrett Fanuelli

            Sure, but they were at a terrible disadvantage to begin with. They’re geographically located next to Germany who considered them the biggest enemy due to the Treaty of Versailles

          • Angela Ruzzo

            A lot of countries fucked up in WWII, not just the French. The Poles sent out cavalry against German tanks, for christ’s sake.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            You go to war with the army you have, as a famous American dipshit said 15 years ago.

          • Jonny On Maui

            It was all they had.

          • RobKanC

            Haha.. Did not expect this.. It was a joke. I respect the French for being a royal pain in Hitler’s butt pretty much throughout the war by being the French resistance..

          • georgiaburning

            History nerd here- for hundreds of years, up through WWI, France was the dominant land power in western Europe. Part of the reason Germany unified under Prussia was that France was always kicking up trouble. The 1870 war between France and Prussia saw the Germans take Paris and use the Hall of Mirrors in Versailles Palace to proclaim the German Empire and take a few provinces. Quite a burn.

            Four years of WWI literally bled France dry, and their military leaders were fearful of a repeat. Their Maginot line was a high-tech way to fight WWI all over with limited casualties, unfortunately WWII was not WWI all over again.

      • LucindathePook

        There’s a big park named Lafayette right outside his house.

      • Persistent Demme

        Did someone say: LAFAYETTE?
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEHKBckBcr4

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      eyeballs Marcon’s wife like a slab of beef, then gropes her?

    • Left Coast Tom

      L’il Donnie said, apparently on Air Force 1 before getting to France, that The Wall needs to be transparent, otherwise Mexicans will throw 60 pound bags of drugs over it and bonk Americans on the head.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        If someone throws 60 pounds of drugs at me, I’m ducking, and that’s 100% profit.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          As someone who lives less than an hour from the border and who who has been there many, many times let me tell you- that is something that totally happens all the time ROFL

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            You’re there right now, aren’t you? Just waiting for the next bag of profit to sail over!

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            I wish it were that easy, lol

          • Left Coast Tom

            Is it the “duck the drug cartel’s bullets” part that makes catching profit challenging?

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            They’re not real big fans of people grabbing thousands of dollars of their product for some reason

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Yeah, but they also throw decoys. No drugs.

          Let me tell you, getting hit in the head by a flying wooden duck hurts!

      • Jonny On Maui

        Is there any way I could get that in 2 30 pound bags? I’m trying to avoid cantaloupe calves…

  • Claire

    I volunteered with Habitat for Humanity a couple of times. It’s great and fulfilling but also terrifying, because people were actually going to live – probably with their children – in houses built partly by me. I haven’t even gotten around to refinishing my dresser and I make that White Girl Face every time I break a nail.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Your effort was much much much appreciated. Deal with it you [brave] snowflacker.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I have friends who are encouraging me to volunteer for Habitat for Humanity because of all the time I spend making cabinets and other things out of wood or helping them to remodel their house, etc. Thing is, I don’t know if I have enough enthusiasm to do that for very long.

      “Dammit, Jim, I’m a computer engineer not a carpenter!”

      • Angela Ruzzo

        You can do it one day a week, if that’s all you have time for, and you don’t have to do it every week. They are happy for anyone who shows up. What they really appreciate is anyone who can teach others how to do things.

      • Claire

        You don’t have to do it for very long. The times I volunteered were work-related things and we were only on site for a day or two. There were people who volunteered more of their time, of course, but I’m not sure it’s required.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Thank you for volunteering with them, they do good work. I did it too in St. Louis about 15 years ago, and it was one of the most worthwhile things I ever did. I also learned how to build a stud wall, hang drywall, tie rebar, pour concrete and lay ceramic and vinyl tile, which turned out to be useful skills, and I met the most incredible group of people.

    • LucindathePook

      Maybe you could volunteer at a HfH ReStore? Mr. Pook does, and is really into it. He has more retailing skills than he does home maintenance skills. Makes money for HfH, saves stuff going into the landfill, and provides any number of reasonably prices furniture, appliances, tools, cabinets, etc.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        There is a ReStore in my town back home. It’s a great place. You never know what you’ll find.

      • Claire

        That’s an idea, because I love those ReStores. I’ve bought some great things there and I love the kind of architectural grace notes that come out of old houses.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Anyone catch that new show “I’m Sorry?” Pretty good, very Curb Your Enthusiasm-y

    • BosGrl

      Is that on Netflix?

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        Trutv

        • BosGrl

          Thanks!

  • anon_the_great

    Hydrate and Build

    And that’s how you kill fascists.

  • Bananas Foster

    (Am I the only one who sees a passing resemblance between KA Conway and Brigitte Macron?)

    *hangs head in shame*

  • Joe Beese

    Brush up on your technique:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PabykwL3X3c

    • Parakeetist

      Squee!!!!

  • ThePuckStopsHere

    Still the best vote for President I ever cast (and the first).

  • memzilla Ω

    All he did was forget to mention the 100 or so foreign nationals he met on his SF86. Fun fact: each lie or omission on your security clearance form can get you five years in Leavenworth.
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/32606f0bf757c7416a30a71168798d3616c340479a2950f98b504f475499f39d.jpg

    • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

      Nest of traitors.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    So Macron inviting Trump is governmental trolling, right? Why else would a president invite over a family of gawdy, incompetent, rich boobs to celebrate the overthrow of a family of gawdy, incompetent, rich boobs?

    • BosGrl

      Mr. Drysdale libels!!!

    • Claire

      He’s totally trolling.

  • Bitter Scribe

    It breaks my heart to think how he’s been treated, during and after his presidency. He has a million times better character than that nincompoop demagogue who succeeded him.

    • Yr. Gma

      You mean Ronnie? Ronnie/Donnie/nincompoops.

      • Bitter Scribe

        I mean no one else.

        I’m old enough to remember when Reagan was considered an outlandish extremist and a world-class nitwit, and his becoming president was unthinkable. When he was elected, I thought, Well, that’s it. We’ve sunk as low as we can go.

        Talk about being naive.

        • Blackest Noobs

          Donald Trump at that time, thought yeah i could do worse…but had to bid his time until an uppity Negro made fun of him and had all the other white people journalists laugh and laugh loudly at him.

    • 3FingerPete

      From time to time I would read posts stating Barack Obama replaced Carter as the worst president in US history, and as a result it would be generations before another black person would be elected to the Oval Office. I always wondered why that logic didn’t apply to Jimmy Carter’s white successors.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        How can anyone be such A Idiot as to think Carter was the worst president in US History? That honor must go to James Buchanan, who did almost nothing except get drunk while he was in the White House.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Wasn’t he the first gay one though?

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Many historians think so. Or he might have been asexual, or celibate, or bisexual, or impotent, or maybe he and William King were just “good friends.”

    • Serai 1

      …who benefitted from that decade’s version of the Bernie Bros – idiotic “statement” voters who drained away Carter’s support by getting all het up about Jon Anderson, a guy nobody ever heard of and whom nobody ever heard from again. I cannot tell you how enraged I was. And now I’ve seen it happen a THIRD TIME.

  • Nounverb911

    Old person (37) (in sportsball years) to appear in Wimbledon Women’s final.
    https://twitter.com/espn/status/885517599802626053

  • Angela Ruzzo

    OT: Something interesting happened today. I have written about my friend who lost a leg in a traffic accident, and the Other Driver could only be charged $500 for “careless and imprudent driving” and “failure to have insurance.” The stupid Other Driver plead “Not Guilty.” Well her court hearing was today, and surprise, surprise, the Prosecuting Attorney asked for a Jury Trial, and the Judge agreed, which hardly ever happens here. This is great news – she will have to pay at least $1000 more in lawyer’s fees and also substantial court costs when she loses. This might have something to do with the fact that my friend wrote the Judge a 4-page letter outlining how his life has been destroyed and his medical expenses have exceeded $1 million.

    • Rasilom

      THIS IS AWSOME!!!!

      • Angela Ruzzo

        YES IT IS!!!!! And they will subpoena my friend and he will get to sit in the front row in his wheelchair wearing his “Proud Veteran of the US Air Force” t-shirt and his missing leg for the Jury to see, and they will THROW THE BOOK AT HER. And she will have to pay for the subpoena, tee hee.

        • Rasilom

          Now if only 90% of her future income could go to your friend untill he has been payed back for his expences. That would be awsome.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            That would definitely be awesome. But she’s 35 and has never held a real job in her life, and is unlikely to ever do so. She is a “songwriter” who lives off her boyfriends and part-time jobs cleaning houses or pet sitting. Lawyers have told my friend he could sue for future earnings, but they won’t take that kind of case on consignment, and he’d have to pay them thousands of dollars up front, which he doesn’t have. Isn’t there some old saying about how if you get hit by a car, you’d better hope it’s a Mercedes? I can’t remember how it goes, but it’s true.

  • Nounverb911
  • memzilla Ω

    Peter W. Smith, the “Republican donor and operative from Chicago’s North Shore who said he had tried to obtain Hillary Clinton’s missing emails from Russian hackers
    killed himself in a Minnesota hotel room days after talking to The Wall Street Journal about his efforts, public records show… He was found with a bag over his head with a source of helium attached.”

    Sounds positively… Putinesque.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      “In the note recovered by police, Smith apologized to authorities and said that “NO FOUL PLAY WHATSOEVER” was involved in his death.”

      • OrG

        Sounds normal.

        • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

          Perfectly!

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        Not saying, but just saying, Putting something like that in his suicide note sounds like something a Trump would make the assassin put in.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I don’t know what his last words were, but……

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        … they were really high-pitched words.

        • Serai 1

          LOL, you’re fucking EVIL.

    • Reximus

      A good, pro-life republican, no doubt

    • Serai 1

      Indeed. There’s something about that “NO FOUL PLAY WHATSOEVER” (all caps, no less) that seems… I dunno, a little suspicious, maybe?

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Angela mentined something interesting and her story is better mthan mine, but it reminded me:

    Ran out for smokes early. There was a blind lady standing at one edge of a 4 lane street with a median in the middle (the same I was crossing via car)…she looked TERRIFIED about the prospect.

    Right as I noticed her, someone pulled over and was talking to her (hopefully not kidnapping her, i thought). It turned out to be a lady who helped her cross the street…as they were doing so, our helper put her hand out to oncoming traffic, and the fucking driver honked at her.

    The store staff tells me the blind lady does that almost every day.

    So they made it to the store, just as i was coming out, I shouted thank you! The helper asked me, “is she with you?” I said, no, but she looked scared and i’m glad somebody helped her.

    (then the helper had to go and ruin it by giving me her card and telling me she was a jevohas witness and that the website helped her quit smoking. I said, “well, are you just doing all kinds of good today? and left).

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Hey, at least she didn’t start talking about how smokers are all going to DIE OF CANCER as several strangers have done to me when I was outside a building smoking, far away from a door and not bothering anyone. Like not smoking guarantees you are not going to die of cancer. I used to ignore it, but now I tell them that the CDC found that eating pork causes more cases of lung and colon cancer than smoking does, which they don’t want to hear.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        oh, i get that one all the time.

        • BosGrl

          Yeah, it’s like I KNOW, THANKS.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            i got sarcastic about it after awhile,

            “REALLY? Know one has EVER TOLD ME THAT!”

          • Blackest Noobs

            i would call ’em coffin nails when i did smoke….when asked once why am i smoking…i said because i welcome death…but shit that was back before i had four bullet holes in the chest…after that you get a new perspective on life…ha ha.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            yikes!

            my other pithy reply is when people say, “those things will kill ya!”, I say, “they keep promising me that.”

          • BosGrl

            Oh my God. I guess that would change how you think about things. Glad you’re OK.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Well I don’t tolerate it anymore. I will say ONE good thing about Trump’s administration – it has given me some clever come-backs, like “Don’t worry about me getting cancer, Donald Trump will start WWIII and we’ll all be dead soon.” This really annoys them.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Well they can peel that fine cigar from my cancer-ridden lung!

        • Angela Ruzzo

          I tell people that everyone has to have ONE vice, and if I didn’t smoke, I’d be perfect. This evokes 5 seconds of silence while they try and fail to think of a clever response.

  • Picabo
  • II Gosala

    OK, this will be my one post tonight since it will put in Wonkette purgatory.

    But, I’m no fan of Mr. Carter. Was he moral, Christian (in the good sense not the creepy, self serving sense). Yes, yes he was.

    Too much so. It prevented him from playing the game, making the compromises, forging the alliances you have to in order to be politically effective.

    (OK, I’ll give him the amnesty for draft resistors, but I’ll also charge him with reinstituting registration, which even the Pentagon did not want)

    The cardigan, malaise, stagflation, oil embargo, Iranian hostages did as much as anything to open the door to Reagan’s claim that the government can’t do anything right.

    And I’m no fan of Habitat either. I did a little work with them years ago and they absolutely stank of “How good we are — not only are we building houses for the poor but also we are forcing the irresponsible poor to become responsible!”

    I wanted to throw the book (Freiri, Pedagogy of the Oppressed en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pedagogy_of_the_Oppressed) at them.

    I’ll shut up now and and take my lumps.

    • BosGrl

      “… we are forcing the irresponsible poor to become responsible.” I think they screen the homeowners and the homeowners themselves have to do work for HFH. I understand about the do-good thing but if you’ve never owned a home or thought you’d ever have the opportunity to own one, you wouldn’t care if some people on a company outing wanted to feel good about themselves.

      • Sophia

        Yes they do screening and work with the families. They also don’t shop around for families, the families apply and you are required to spend a certain number of hours volunteering on your build and others.

        • BosGrl

          That’s what I thought. I don’t understand how not being able to afford a house, for whatever reason, makes you irresponsible…

          • Sophia

            I worked very closely with HFH here for 4 or 5 years. The group we had on the board were wonderful, caring people. When my son was 16 he worked 2 builds along with me. The foreman there and the skilled trades people they brought in took the time to teach him a lot of skills he uses today in the upkeep of his own home. Looks like Gosala might have gotten in with a group of people doing the work to make themselves feel better and not a group trying to help and uplift others. Unfortunately any good cause can be tarnished by bad people

      • LucindathePook

        Welp, it is better to have homeowners actually be responsible, as irresponsible ones are gonna lose the home pretty quick.

        • BosGrl

          See Sophia’s post below. The same can be said for rich people who own 666 Park Avenue and can’t afford it.

    • Sophia

      Habitat is like any franchise. Their attitude is reflection of who ever is on the board. Looks like you worked with a bad one maybe. I’ve worked with the same group here on 4 builds and they were all a wonderful experience. So sorry that your experience with them was so bad.

    • janecita

      But you have to admit that is pretty badass that a man his age, is still out there building houses:-)

    • Persistent Demme

      The US was absolutely hungry for a moral man after the Nixon/Ford debacle.
      You’re right about that.
      There were some flaws, (and he’d be the first to admit that), but he was just the right man for the times.

      • RobespierreHoo

        Carter was inept, arrogant and uneducable. He surrounded himself with Georgia swamp slime with similar characteristics. A total failed presidency, and most of it was self-inflicted. Perhaps listening a bit more to Tip and Ted and a lot less to Ham, Jody and Bert might have helped him climb out of Millard Filmore territory in scholarly rankings.

    • Serai 1

      Unlike the others here, I will quote the great Harlan Ellison, who (when he was whined at about “right to an opinion”), snapped back, “NO, sir. You have the right to an INFORMED opinion.”.

  • Ezio

    Guys, it’s a good thing Donald Trump never became an architect, because now he wants the border wall to be…transparent. Like, literally.

    http://www.vanityfair.com/news/2017/07/trump-transparent-border-wall-falling-drugs-mexico?mbid=social_facebook

    • jesterpunk

      Transparent and covered in solar panels.

      • ariel_gee_398

        That was so crazy I googled the concept then started wondering who in the administration might have invested in the company trying to develop transparent solar panels.

        • BosGrl

          We have now reached full jaded.

      • Persistent Demme

        Are the solar panels “Jimmy Carter” style?
        (As I recall, Reagan had JC’s solar panels removed from the White House.)

    • LucindathePook

      The Emperor’s New Wall. Build an invisible one that’s not really there, charge him, and just explain it’s because of the transparency. Except he wouldn’t pay.

    • RobKanC

      Can we also get some glitter in the glasses.. Maybe a disco light every mile and a bar every 2 miles.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Wait, he wants it transparent so we can see the drugs and don’t get hit on the head. I didn’t know the Mexico/US border was such a big tourist attraction. Why am I just now hearing about these millions of Americans being hit with flying drugs?

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        Freakin’ editors cut it out of the freakin’ book. Assholes.
        – Dr H.S. Thompson

    • Everrett Fanuelli
    • OutOfOrbit

      I am trying tell you guys: just dig a shallow trench and fill it with all that nucular waste we can’t get rid of. After dark it will be visible too, even from space.

    • Three Finger Salute

      #Architecting

      is hard

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        No! Architecturing is easy!
        – Ivanka

  • ariel_gee_398

    “And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me
    He’d grown up just like me
    My boy was just like me”

    https://twitter.com/joshtpm/status/885651046940463104

    • RobKanC

      Learning? Whats that. Does it make money?

    • Blackest Noobs

      Republican Logic is if Daddy was criminal, guess what, Son is a criminal.
      but i think this is really only true for wealthy white folks.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      I think the only lesson he learned from his father was fuck Chris Christie.

  • II Gosala

    This got posted in the wrong place; so I’m reposting:

    OK, this will be my one post tonight since it will put in Wonkette purgatory.

    But, I’m no fan of Mr. Carter. Was he moral, Christian (in the good sense not the creepy, self serving sense). Yes, yes he was.

    Too much so. It prevented him from playing the game, making the compromises, forging the alliances you have to in order to be politically effective.

    (OK, I’ll give him the amnesty for draft resistors, but I’ll also charge him with reinstituting registration, which even the Pentagon did not want)

    The cardigan, malaise, stagflation, oil embargo, Iranian hostages did as much as anything to open the door to Reagan’s claim that the government can’t do anything right.

    And I’m no fan of Habitat either. I did a little work with them years ago and they absolutely stank of “How good we are — not only are we building houses for the poor but also we are forcing the irresponsible poor to become responsible!”

    I wanted to throw the book (Freiri, Pedagogy of the Oppressed en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pedagogy_of_the_Oppressed) at them.

    I’ll shut up now and and take my lumps.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      You’re entitled to your opinion, even if I don’t think Jimmy Carter caused Iran to take American hostages. Also, I worked for Habitat, and I thought they did a good job of helping people who normally couldn’t afford a house, to buy a house. To each their own, I suppose.

    • LucindathePook

      Part of the ability to offer an affordable home is by having the new owners participate in the build. I’ve been to 3 HfH dinners now and other than a little grace, religion was no big. Mr. P is scared of most forms of Christianity. And the hostage crisis was greatly exacerbated by the evil of Reagan’s Iran-Contra.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Agree with some of this, disagree with much of it, but you are entitled to your opinion.

      Also too, you forgot- he gave us the modern microbrew renaissance- for that alone he’ll alway have a place in history, lol

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    From Charles Pierce:
    “WASHINGTON—”Let me explain this to you,” said an influential Democrat of my casual acquaintance, twinkling just a bit as he talked. “This is the classic situation of the dog chasing the car and then, all of a sudden, the dog is in the driver’s seat. Except that, this time, there are five dogs in the driver’s seat. One of them is saying, ‘Turn left,’ and one is saying ‘Turn right,’ and another one is saying just drive right over the cliff there.”

    Thursday brought us the most recent performance piece of the extended Republican shadow-play entitled, “We Care About Sick People, Too.” Majority Leader Mitch McConnell gathered his people in the Strom Thurmond room of the Capitol—and what a proud place that must be—and explained to them the latest iteration of whatever the hell his caucus is trying to do on the subject of healthcare. These now include what they call the “base bill,” the newest iteration of the dead fish that was slung over from the House of Representatives a while back.”

    Yeah, I think dogs driving a car off a cliff seems about right.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Let’s make a black velvet painting of that.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I’d buy the shit out of that painting.

  • Picabo
    • Joe Beese

      On Lumpy’s radio show, he spoke about how this “laying on of hands” thing is common and natural among God-fearing Real Americans, even if news people in the “New York/Washington/Los Angeles/San Francisco bubble” don’t know it.

    • Serai 1

      Actually, I’ll say it – Trump is the anti-Christ. He fits all the parameters. If anybody was ever going to be the anti-Christ, it’s Twitler.

      • Joe Beese

        Wasn’t the Antichrist supposed to be charismatic?

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    So, I’m sitting here drinking wine that came from a box and eating Chex Turtle Mix….with chopsticks. I’m as surprised as you that I’m still single!

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      You can use chopsticks?! I AM surprised you’re still single!

      • I use chopsticks as hair accessories

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          They sell some beautiful hair chopsticks here. So pretty they made me wish I still had enough hair to use them.

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        Right?!?! Plus, I know all the words to Bruce Springsteen’s, “Thunder Road” and I like to sing them in public. I’m a catch, I tell ya :D

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          Dexterity and public singing sound like fine qualities to me.

        • LucindathePook

          It is the same words as Robert Mitchum’s TR?

        • Everrett Fanuelli

          I can do most of the lyrics to “Ghost of Tom Joad” I think we’re a match!

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            How about the Clash’s, “Magnificent Seven?”

          • BosGrl

            That’s not singing, that’s shouting.

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            That hurt my fee fees. I may not recover. *sniffle*

          • BosGrl

            Oh, I meant the song, not you. Your singing is lovely.

        • janecita

          I can do “Born to Run.”

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        I can barely use them on sushi

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          I can use them on pretty much anything that can be stabbed completely through, and eaten off a stick.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            I don’t think that counts, lol

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            Stop killing my dreams!!

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            That’s called a “kabob” :p

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            ‘And that, children, is how the corn dog was invented.’

        • Persistent Tennessee Rain

          It’s perfectly acceptable to eat sushi with your fingers.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            god thing, lol

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            Where I come from, we eat the fingers separately.

    • janecita

      Boxed wine? How proletarian of you!

    • BosGrl

      That’s so cool! When I tried that, the turtles squirmed around too much.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Sounds like a lady after mine own heart.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      I can pick up cherry tomatoes with chopsticks. And I am surprised that I’m *not* single.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I’m not so concerned about the Chex Turtle Mix. How the fuck do you drink box wine with chopsticks? I need to know that for my next party!

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        Don’t be ridiculous. You don’t drink boxed wine with chopsticks! You rip the wine bladder from the box, hold it over your head and pour the wine into your mouth. Jeez. Everyone knows THAT. :p

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          You are right. Everybody knows that. I was hoping for something really different.

          Oh!!! I know!!! I know!!!! Hollow chopsticks!!!

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            I think someone already invented those, but gave them a different name. Around here, we call them, “straws.”

            :D

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Dammit. I can’t think of a single original thing at all today. {{{pouts}}}

      • Joe Beese

        Just as we should not judge a person by their color, we should not judge a wine by the container it comes in.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          S’Truth. I like box wine. People laugh and laugh at me, though.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Imma a boy. Anything with chopsticks that’s not in big fat-dripping chunks is more calories out than in.

  • jesterpunk

    Hey everyone, I need some advice here. I just got an email from a Nigerian Prince who says he will give me $100 million dollars I just need to meet with him. It does sound a little fishy but I think I am going to invite him to my house and meet with him. What do you think?

    • LucindathePook

      Does he have any Hillary emails you can use?

      • jesterpunk

        He did email me about the meeting so he may have some more emails.

        • LucindathePook

          Worth a shot, then.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Cash up front…

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Carry a shovel.

      • Jonny On Maui

        That’s your solution to everything.

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          What did you say?

          *makes threatening motion with shovel*

          • BosGrl

            Are you two sitting at the same table, with your laptops positioned like Battleship?

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            Same table..separate phones..I will emerge victorious!!

          • Jonny On Maui

            She’s currently the Phase 10 champion. That will change later tonight…

          • Jonny On Maui

            What would you like on your pizza?

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            I thought so.

        • Blackest Noobs

          i carry a boomstick…and sometimes..it IS the solution.

          oh wait keep forgetting this isn’t medieval times…damn time displacement syndrome.

    • Blackest Noobs

      HOT DAMN! MEET WITH HIM…..it’s the Donald Junior Way!

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        Any politician would!

        • Blackest Noobs

          Any politician person would!!!

    • gene108

      U.S. Dollars or some of those other “fake” dollars like they use in Canada or Australia…

      • jesterpunk

        US dollars.

        • BosGrl

          You sure it’s not really Lori in disguise?

          • jesterpunk

            Oh maybe I should meet with her too she did mention a range rover. It sounds exciting.

          • BosGrl

            Hold out for the McLaren.

          • Jonny On Maui

            I thought I saw a real Lori posting here. I was going to ask her about a gig but figured she’d heard it all already…

      • Three Finger Salute
    • Persistent Demme

      Only meet with the prince if he can supply some good oppo on Trump.

    • thewalkindude

      Make sure it’s only for 20 minutes, though

    • sw19covfefe
      • jesterpunk

        Damn, I need to find some better people. Maybe Trump Jr can help me here?

        • BosGrl

          Just tell him you have dirt on Hillary and he’s yours.

    • Sophia

      Ask Donny half scoop. He’s usually good at stuff like that.

    • Doug Langley

      Make sure it’s not for lunch. I hear he’s a picky eater.

  • Alex Grey

    OT. So I am watching last night’s Late Show, the first segment is all about Trump and son. It gets to the first break, then this:
    “Sponsored by Cheetos. Dangerously cheesy.”
    Come on, the potential jokes here practically write themselves.

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    I just wanted to tell you all that I have found the greatest song in the history of songs, so y’all can discard the rest of your music libraries. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the Teen Queens and “You Good Boy, You Get Cookie.”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SddZz1BQ9_8

    • BosGrl

      This is amazing.

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        I know, right? Ahh… If only it were that easy.

    • Jonny On Maui

      I’d like to know what Cookie has to say about this, bet she’s pissed…

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    It’s Jimmy Carter who is “crushing it”, so he can has vacation?

    • Empress of the Iguana People

      Not sure he understands the concept, bless him

  • Blanche Beecham

    Maybe the border patrol just needs hard hats. Also – What-the-What?

    • mancityRed6

      there was a story on Crooks and Liars a while back from a border guard who got to see a fresh head bounce off of her windshield.
      she definitely advocated for a fence you could see through.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Two bags of Ringers and a few cups of Gatorade on ice. He will be fine by dark.
    God Bless President Carter. He brought the boys home from Canada.

  • SnarkON

    He is awesome. That is all.

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    Tonights song on Resistance Radio its dedicated to all the resistance memebers in Red State or red parts of blue states https://youtu.be/R-Lrmd8YhgA

  • Goposaur

    This is what a great American looks like. Lumpy can go fuck himself.

  • Blackest Noobs

    sorry person who no likey Habitat for Humanity and Jimmy Carter. that got an automatic block from me…i don’t care…and i usually don’t make a point of telling you i blocked you. i just do it.

    but you’re just wrong, dude or dudette.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      They’re not bad people, even if you disagree with them. You might reconsider that block.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        It was a respectfully and reasonably stated comment that didn’t attack anyone. I do hate to think people believe they’re gonna be in “Wonkette purgatory” for that. Bullying, disrespectful, hateful, sanctimonious, vicious, ugly, bigoted comments belong in purgatory, not people speaking their minds in an adult fashion that shows proper respect for our Wonkette family meeting place.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Agreed

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          That’s why I unblocked’ed William. He annoyed me in the beginning.

    • Yr. Gma

      Blocking someone who annoys you is okay with me.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I saw that exchange and I have no idea where that came from.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    The french joint military band will perform Daft Punk songs at the Bastille day parade. Here they are rehearsing.
    https://youtu.be/6Z_xNwUlIxU

  • Picabo

    Today in history.
    On this day in 1990, the romantic-thriller Ghost, starring Demi Moore, Patrick Swayze and Whoopi Goldberg, opens in theaters across the United States. The film, about a woman who communicates with her murdered husband through a sassy psychic, was a box-office hit and received multiple Academy Award nominations, including Best Picture and Best Screenplay. Goldberg, who played psychic Oda Mae Brown, won an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress. She became only the second African-American actress to win an Academy Award. (In 1939, Hattie McDaniel was named Best Supporting Actress for her portrayal of a slave governess in Gone With the Wind.) Written by Bruce Joel Rubin and directed by Jerry Zucker, Ghost contained the now-iconic love scene, set to “Unchained Melody” by The Righteous Brothers, in which Sam (Swayze) communes with Molly (Moore) while she is sitting at a potter’s wheel.

    http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/ghost-opens

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Hattie McDaniel was not allowed to share the same table as her white co-stars at the Oscar ceremony.

    • Sophia

      Not sure what it is about that movie but whenever I see it’s on TV I watch it and every time I cry at the end like I didn’t know what was going to happen.

  • mancityRed6

    there’s thunder around, a blessed end to the last four days of pouring sweat out on the balcony (I know, first world problems).
    I’m just gonna sit out here for a bit and luxuriate in the nice cool breeze.
    at least it won’t be 80 when I wake up tomorrow.

    • BosGrl

      It was in the 60s here today. It was so nice to be able to open the windows again.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Ah, you got rain and the cooler weather for a few days. Yesterday and today were blissfully only in the 80’s today here. I just wish we’d get some rain where I am. All around the metro, but just tiny sprinkles here and there on the westside

      • mancityRed6

        it rained a couple of times this morning, which wasn’t on the radar.
        I’m just glad I moved the loveseat that might not actually be outdoor furniture.

  • Me not sure

    I was at a Willie Nelson concert at the Chastain Park Amphitheater in Atlanta when Willie introduced a new member of the band. Jimmy plays a bad harmonica. Here’s the only known poor quality recording of that performance.https://youtu.be/CqG4X1p5sVc

    • cmd resistor

      I saw willie at chastain but must have been a different night – no Jimmy.

      • Me not sure

        B.B. King opened that night and they performed “The Nightlife” together. It was the last time I saw B.B.

  • Serai 1

    I have no fucking idea if this is real, but it is AWESOME.

    Graphic artist deals with non-paying shithead. Hilarity ensues. No, really!

  • Three Finger Salute

    In Soviet America (aka West Kanye), no people care about Donald Trump!

    The coup d’etat will not be televised — or tweeted: Americans are more concerned with Kim Kardashian’s marble table than Donald Trump Jr’s emails

    Stick a fork in this eagle, it’s burnt to a crisp.

    • BosGrl

      I’m relieved to say I don’t know anything about Kim Kardashian’s marble table.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Me either. I guess that makes us in the minority. One of those intellectuals they’re going to come for, when they go after the trade unionists and so on.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Apparently everyone (who cared about such things) thought they saw lines of coke on her table in a selfie. I happened to see something bout on Jezebel, then immediately regretted reading the article.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          My BF brought it to my attention.

        • What Pierre said

          Oh, you mean there really was something about the Kardashians’ table? I thought it was a metaphor for something, like not caring about the Kardashians.

      • Thiazin Red

        Part of me still resents that due to sheer cultural saturation I know what those vacuous twats names are despite never having sought out any media with them in it.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Famous for being famous

          I blame Paris Hilton

          • Three Finger Salute

            I blame OJ

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            It’s always the blah guy’s fault

          • Three Finger Salute

            LOL, in this case it is. Robert Sr. was part of the “dream team” who, along with his gold-digger wife and their demon crotchspawn, would have remained nationally irrelevant outside of the L.A. socialite circle were it not for that whole fiasco. Also, the O.J. trial was really the first major instance of “reality TV” for America. Bigger than Springer, Jackass and COPS combined. Everyone involved in that circus ended up having their 15 minutes of “famous for being famous,” from Kato to Cochran.

            Perhaps not coincidentally, it was right after the O.J. trial, by which point Americans had been groomed very well for the idea of news as pro-wrestling-style entertainment on 24-hour cable TV, that Roger Ailes decided now was the right time to launch Fox News as a competitor to CNN. A perfect storm condition where tabloid sleaze had been mainstreamed into the “serious” media landscape, the birth of Fox was sandwiched right between O.J. and Monicagate. It’s been a race to the bottom ever since.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            I am probably one of the few people who didn’t see the slow speed chase that night- because I was having a much better time seeing Steve Winwood and Traffic

          • Three Finger Salute

            Lucky you. I was 10 and watching the ’94 NBA Finals while my father was passed out drunk on the couch. When they cut in for the “breaking news,” I thought my father had rolled over onto the TV remote and changed the channel. Didn’t dare wake him though, so I just sat and watched as the cops chased after the Bronco and giggled softly because I thought it was an action movie. I loved car chase scenes and still do. I say softly, though, because you know that game “Don’t Wake Daddy”? The board game doesn’t come with an empty case of Michelob…

          • jaspersdad

            I was watching the genocide in Rwanda unfold on BBC.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Indirectly, since OJ used her dad.

          • Serai 1
          • What Pierre said

            You are right in that I cant imagine the Kardashians would’ve found their reality foothold if it weren’t for OJ. (And it upsets me more than I would’ve expected that despite the fact that I’ve never typed it before, my spellcheck knows how to spell Kardashian.)

          • Thiazin Red

            There were society pages and things like that well before her, but you would at least have to buy a paper and read it.

          • Yr. Gma

            Zsa Zsa Gabor.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            I blame Kim’s mom. Her dad was a toad but her mother is evil.
            For more info on the dad, watch the documentary now on Netflix.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Kim’s mother is a looney. Robert was just a celebrity lawyer who got lucky

        • Three Finger Salute
          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            I saw that earlier and read it. I don’t agree with all of his points, if you read the whole blog in LA Weekly.

          • Three Finger Salute

            He brings up the infamous Bushisms being a symptom of a guilt-ridden breakdown. There seems to be a cottage industry of Bush rehabilitation as of late. I guess in comparison to the orange psychopath and his ruthless Russian-mobster BFFs, even the silver-spoon moron who completely clusterfucked the Middle East and Katrina and sent a fucking SWAT team after a Cuban toddler at 2am looks tame by comparison?

            I know pappy was CIA, always made me wonder if there was in fact a “deep-state” collusion to get his idiot son installed as an easily manipulated puppet to enact what became the PNAC agenda and roll the Reagan revolution out globally to its natural conclusion of complete planetary destruction.

            I do know that Gingrich and Rove effectively poisoned the well for Bill Clinton (and, thus, for Hillary two decades later), because the plebs got restless and elected a hillbilly hippie and his outspoken feminist wife, instead of shutting their yap and accepting their fate as designated by their Republican masters. In doing so, Gore ended up with enough baggage that anyone associated with the blue-dress presidency was effectively dead in the water.

            But ¡Yeb! being governor in the state where the election got “held up” (both in the sense that it was paused and in the sense that it was stolen, as in a bank holdup) ultimately to be thrown in his idiot brother’s favor, is too much of a non-coincidence to actually be one. I dunno, maybe I’m being too hard on Shrub, maybe he is that much of an American Idiot who didn’t have the capacity to comprehend what Cheney and Rove and Rummy and the rest of the super-villains had planned, while he was riding his hobby horse and shooting his cork gun playing cowboy in the Oval Office. Or reading a storybook upside-down at a preschool in — where else? — Florida.

      • sw19covfefe

        Is it a euphemism?

    • RobKanC

      who is this Kim Kardashian person?

      • TJ Barke

        A moderately to very(depending on personal preferences) attractive rich woman.

        • RobKanC

          rich maybe.. Attractive? I think that depends on the viewer’s eye.

          • TJ Barke

            That’s why I said it depends on personal preference.

        • Three Finger Salute

          She’s fake. All the Carcrashians have more plastic in them than a Tupperware factory. (Caitlyn, BTW, literally deserves the name Carcrashian.)

          • sw19covfefe

            Upfist for Carcrashian. I am so stealing that.

      • Serai 1

        A useless bint who thinks having a good rack is the be-all and end-all of existence.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Big Booty Judy. She is known for her huge ass.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    This whole Trump thing is wearing me down.
    https://media.giphy.com/media/xTP3JYqa7b02I/giphy.gif

  • Sophia

    How would you like to wake up with this kitty on your chest?

    Woman awakened by mountain lion crashing through window

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/07/woman-awakened-by-mountain-lion-crashing-through-window/

    • sw19covfefe
      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        There’s info in this awesome Maui guidebook our neighbor got us about shark safety. One of the points is, that when spear fishing, you need to let any approaching shark have your catch. Don’t attempt to fight the shark for your fish. I don’t spear fish, but if I did, that shark could have anything it wanted-my catch, my spear, my wallet, my dignity. Just leave me my leg!

        • Thiazin Red

          It would honestly never have occurred to me to fight a shark. What would possibly make someone think that it would be a good idea?

          However, I will brag about the time I caught a fish with eagle claw marks on it. I caught a fish a bald eagle did not catch. I’m pretty sure that officially makes me better at fishing than eagles.

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            Trump voters..what can you say?

          • OrG

            You underestimate the stupidity of humans.

          • What Pierre said

            I thought as a natural misanthrope it was impossible for me to underestimate the stupidity of humans but humans keep saying, “hold my beer.”

        • jaspersdad

          Becoming part of the food chain is why I never swim in the ocean.

      • Count Awesome
  • La forza del resistino

    ‘Many people don’t know France was our first ally.’
    I’m mailing my copy of Tuchman’s ‘First Salute’ to the WH and hope someone of Dutch heritage throws a wooden shoe at him.

    • Reximus

      Natives were the first ally, but that didn’t really payoff for them

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        “We call it maize. You call it corn.”

  • Jeffocaster in the East

    Jimmy Carter, now there’s a mensch.

  • Anna Rompage

    You know who else cashes in on funds for developing low income housing, but instead of building dwellings that benefit the poor like pres Carter, uses that money to build luxury condos that will be sold to Russian “investors”?

    See, Donad & Jared are just like Jimmy, but different…

    • Three Finger Salute

      Herbert Hoover?

      • Anna Rompage

        Mr Potter….

        • Three Finger Salute

          The bad Harry Potter. George Bailey was the boy who lived.

          • BosGrl

            Oh my God, someone needs to write a mirror universe Harry Potter.

    • sw19covfefe

      Is it Facebook?

  • jesterpunk

    “People don’t realize, you know, the Civil War, you think about it, why? People don’t ask that question.”

    Donal Trump

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4Ha_XjCuA8

  • Wild Cat

    What a weird time. Carter was an unknown; an outsider in his own party. His brother was alcoholic and a media freak; his sister an evangelical like him. She too became a media freak for a while while Larry Flynt played her.
    He had his good points back then, I guess—he hated materialism; he had his moments when he turned his back on New Deal veterans and their torchbearers, like Teddy Kennedy (nullified by scandal, but not afraid to split the 1980 convention to challenge Carter for his seat). Ted Koeppel destroyed Carter—“Nightline” was an omen of cable TV “news,” reducing the lives of an entire nation to the fates of a a few dozen spooks and diplomats in Iran. My adulthood of poverty was decreed when Reagan and his ghouls were elected, proving the memory of the American voter short.
    Then uber-nationalism started.
    It has never ended.
    I guess the prime question is: Would Ted Kennedy have held his own vs. Reagan?
    I’ve no idea . . .

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I’m not sure he would have. It was a time when the tides were turning and a backlash against the excesses of the 60’s and 70’s. Saint Ronnie promised the rubes all the security and a return to “old time values” (basically Christian privilege and white supremacy)- kind of an aw shucks affable version of what Trump promised them this time around. Because the rubes never fucking learn…

      • Wild Cat

        We had to rewrite Vietnam. We had to reignite racism (his launch of his 1980 campaign in Mississipi). We had to sate our consumerism, and Reagan was a materialist.
        You may be right. But Kennedy may have lost to Reagan more on Chappaqudick back then (character issues)—Atwater, that shit, would have had a field day.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          “There was madness in any direction, at any hour. If not across the Bay, then up the Golden Gate or down 101 to Los Altos or La Honda. . . . You could strike sparks anywhere. There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was right, that we were winning. . . .

          And that, I think, was the handle—that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of Old and Evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn’t need that. Our energy would simply prevail. There was no point in fighting—on our side or theirs. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. . . .

          So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look West, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark—that place where the wave finally broke and rolled back.”

          HST

          • Wild Cat

            At least Ol’ Hunter wasn’t a pseudo-libertarian.

      • BosGrl

        I agree. We kept electing him in Mass but I’m not sure the rest of the country could have. He just had too much baggage.

        • Wild Cat

          Duh . . . I finally figured out your screen name indicated you’re from Boston. I’ll sober up one day . . .

          • BosGrl

            LOL

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          he may have fared better than Carter, but the primary fight would have damaged either of them and I’m not sure that anyone was going to stop Reagan. It was the empire strikes back of the culture wars then- all that sex, drugs and rock and roll riled up the social conservatives and the economic malaise of the Carter years produced all those Reagan Democrats.

          Keep in mind too, all those teens and twenty somethings of the baby boomer 60’s were now in their 30’s or 40’s and started caring more about their homes and taxes and their 401K’s than about peace, love and justice- a whole bunch of peeps discovered their mortality and and got selfish and abandoned their principles all at once during the 80’s.

          • Wild Cat

            One can say most marching against the draft were just practicing Randian “self-interest.” The Tax Resistors League was antiwar in order to try to seduce protestors toward psuedo-libertarianism (they worshipped Rand, but it was unrequited). One can say that once the war ended, all the progressive ideas that were popular in the anti-draft movement stalled, such as the ERA.

          • BosGrl

            That’s interesting.

      • therblig

        also weird, because if i had to guess at which presidents might actually be atheists, or at least not rabid religious nuts, reagan would be on the short list.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          He certainly didn’t walk the walk. But he knew a coalition ripe for the picking when he saw one.

    • mailman27

      Reagan followed in Nixon’s footsteps (vootschtahps!) in deploying a little treason to win an election. Worked like a charm.

  • Michael R
  • Thiazin Red

    Sometimes I browse through the horses for sale from the Spanish Riding School and think to myself “That is a pretty reasonable price, you could afford that” before reminding myself that 1. the shipping would be insane 2. you would have no place to keep it 3. you would have no time to ride it. Part of me still says “But look at his peppy little face”

    http://www.srs.at/en_US/belladona-8/

    • BosGrl

      Ed had a peppy little face too and he caused havoc in Wilbur’s life.

    • The Green Bastard

      I don’t understand why shipping would be so much. Packing peanuts are cheap, man.

    • therblig

      ms. blig, who would love a horse, and i were visiting jockey hollow in morristown some years back and were checking out the horses there.

      one of the rangers came by and we started talking – she told us that they need to see a vet like every 6 weeks, have to have their hooves trimmed and burrs on their teeth filed down. seemed like out of our reach.

      plus the whole, living in jersey city with a 12 x 12 backyard thing.

      • Thiazin Red

        Yeah, the upkeep is where they get you.

    • Invisible Bunyip

      I once looked up the price for a Boeing 747 – was about $150 million before fitting out as I recall. But my husband insisted our driveway hardstand area couldn’t take the weight.

  • Joe Beese

    But as Sen. Susan Collins (R-ME) told reporters on Thursday, there is no additional money. Instead, the amendment takes money already appropriated in the bill for other needs and says it can be used for these payments to insurers under the Cruz Amendment.

    “It seems to me you’re using that money over and over again,” she said. “It’s supposed to relieve the cost of high premiums. It’s supposed to solve the problem with deductibles being unaffordable. It’s supposed to be available for high-risk or reinsurance pool. It’s supposed to be available under the Cruz Amendment to help prevent a huge increase in rates for people with pre-existing conditions.”

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/dc/senate-republicans-double-dip-obamacare-repeal

    It’s… uh… versatile.

    • Anna Rompage

      She’ll cave at the last moment like she always does…

      Her heart seems to be in the right place, but she rarely, if ever, walks the walk…

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        just like all the so called moderates

      • Joe Beese

        Allahpundit at HotAir, who was a sane analyst of the primaries despite being right-wing, doesn’t sound encouraged.

        Increasingly the GOP health-care saga feels like a season of Jets football: Depressing, way too long, utterly predictable in its outcome. We may be about to conduct an interesting experiment on what happens in a midterm if the ruling party passes … nothing. Nothing bad, nothing good either. Just nothing.

        http://hotair.com/archives/2017/07/13/panic-three-republican-senators-leaning-towards-voting-no-motion-proceed-health-care-bill/

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          The longer this stretches out, the harder it will be for the Turtle to make it happen

  • Anna Rompage

    92 and still building houses for the poor… meanwhile, our current pres needs to use a golf cart to go on a short walk with other world leaders…

    • Suse

      I doubt Dolt 45 knows how to hold a hammer.

      • sw19covfefe

        He gets the Russian mob to do his dirty work.

      • Count Awesome

        “A hammer? That’s something that someone swings for you and then not pay him.”
        –Trump

    • Count Awesome

      He’s actually a Christian carpenter. Who’d have thunk it.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      And runs the golf cart over the green.

      • Anna Rompage

        If it were Haney Rollins pulling that shit I would have cheered, but not for Dolt…

      • GreenGoldSharpie

        I’mma fight you for that joke. ;-)

    • RobKanC

      And he recovered from brain cancer as well.. This guy is freakin unbelievable..

      • therblig

        well, trumpy is immune from that, for obvious reasons.

  • psychobroad

    One of the few things that I can be wholly proud of about being from Georgia is Jimmy Carter. He is absolutely the bomb. And Mrs. Carter too, naturally!

    • Count Awesome

      Carter had lust in his heart, Trump has it in every cell in his body.

  • Jeffocaster in the East

    McConnell may have to *****OH NO***** discuss things with the Democrats………FUCKING RETHUGLICANS!!!!!

    • Count Awesome

      What is there to discuss?

      • Jeffocaster in the East

        How to get them on board with fucking the American People…..

        • Count Awesome

          That’s a hopeless task.

          • Anna Rompage

            I don’t know about that…. they only need a couple votes… :(

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            yup, good luck wit dat

      • OutOfOrbit

        How the (D)s need to give up some more shit.

        • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

          I don’t think there is much to discuss. There are a few gestures that may make it clear, though.

          • OutOfOrbit

            Why do you rob banks?
            “That’s where the money is.”

            Why do you want to cut Medicare.
            “That’s…” etc.

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      You mean there’s another party in Congress?

      • OutOfOrbit

        So-called “party”, so-called.

  • satanscheerleadersloveamerica

    I was born in 1969. I have been a news/politics nerd since adolescence.Even as a young I asked why are so many people shitting on Jimmy Carter. He clearly wanted the best for our country and if we had continued with his policies our country would be sooo much better off. All the best Jimmy. May you live long and prosper.

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      Oy, the year I graduated……….never mind…….my lottery number for Vietnam was……..NUMBER NINE……

      • mancityRed6

        I don’t know anyone who was drafted. both dad and the ex’s dad joined because they didn’t have any better options.

  • Count Awesome

    Carter should return to the Navy as a submarine commander and commence “The Hunt for Orange October”.

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      follow the slime trail floating behind it in the ocean

  • jaspersdad

    The essence of Jimmy Carter can be found in his famous Georgia Law Day speech. Hunter Thompson described it as “a king hell bastard of a speech”. If you haven’t read or heard it do yourself a favour.

    http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/jimmycarterlawday1974.htm

    https://youtu.be/8SLeFZFTIco

    • mancityRed6

      he wrote about how he had that on tape and listened to it often.

      • jaspersdad

        In the clip above Carter recalls how Thompson kept going out to his car to replenish his ‘iced tea’.

        • mancityRed6

          ok, now I am intrigued.

        • mancityRed6

          it’s late now, 8:28 to be exact, and 4AM comes way to early at this age. the thunder rolls outside so I know I will sleep easy.
          I have the page up right now, just so I can read it and listen to it tomorrow.
          thanks for that. I really do appreciate these things.

          • jaspersdad

            You’re welcome

          • mancityRed6

            I’ve read it and it was powerful. I think it was the way he, as a nuclear physicist, didn’t come across as more learned than those in the room.
            It’s bookmarked, I will have to listen to it later.
            Thanks again.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Wonkette truly is educational. I learn all kinds of stuff here.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Love how Letterman calls him doctor.

    • HorseChestnut

      Please though, alt-right, keep telling us how you’re carrying HST’s torch.

  • Joe Beese

    “My son is a wonderful young man,” Trump said, later adding, “Nothing happened in the meeting.”

    And he said that it represented nothing out of the ordinary because: “Politics is not the nicest business in the world.”

    While that line will not end the controversy, it may be the best defense the White House has and it could be enough to get the President through the current trip without making the situation worse. …

    Just as important as what Trump said was the way he said it.

    Following reports that the President was frustrated and furious about the new twist to the Russia intrigue, he came across as calm and self-contained Thursday.

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/13/politics/trump-macron-trump-jr/index.html

    It was a striking departure from his usual tone. You can watch the clip at the link.

    I’m not sure what it means. But it’s interesting.

    • mancityRed6

      drugs. it means they’ve doped him.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Valium: “Donnie’s Little Helper”

        • Count Awesome

          “The Opiate Epidemic Goes to Washington”

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Thorazine. My bets on Thorazine.

        • Geoff Richmond

          Quaaludes? Or are those too out of style now?

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Not made any more.

      • Sophia

        Nah, he’s always been a dope.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        or it’s finally starting to dawn on him how much fucking trouble he could be in

    • Count Awesome

      Just goes to show that politics isn’t a game for short tempered fools that can’t play the long game.

    • Thiazin Red

      He is fucking 40, he is not a young man.

      • Canis Greyhame

        Boys will be boys!

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Even Rachel’s studio crew can’t help but to crack up. Beauty.

  • Apple Scruff

    Rachel is killing me.

    CALL ME!!!!

    • mancityRed6
      • Apple Scruff
        • mancityRed6

          now you’re getting out of my age range.
          I know it existed, but, literally, this is the first time I’ve heard it.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            you hadn’t missed much

            Lemme introduce you to Meghan Trainor…

          • Jamoche

            Noooooo!

            There was an ad in heavy rotation with her on it for far too long.

          • Three Finger Salute

            J-Beebz’ “protege”. I say that in scare quotes because usually, someone who takes another person under their wing as a “protege” has something to teach them. In this case, it would imply that J-Beebz has any musical talent to provide.

          • Jamoche

            Well, “how to get disproportionate press coverage” is a skill.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Like the Jackson 5 were Diana Ross’ proteges. Sure after spending their childhoods playing dive bars and strip joints in Gary, Indiana.
            These two were on Canadian Idol (Jepsen) and American Idol (Trainor).

          • CripesAmighty

            I dunno, so long as you’ve dispensed with any notions of High Art, thought it was a sticky hook.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Lol, a friend of mine was actually her monitor engineer for the last tour, which is why I happened to use her name. I honestly don’t care what peeps listen to and yes, her stuff is catchy- just like Katy and TS and all the others- well constructed pop tune ear worms. At least it shows a little more thought than just turning on a drum machine and talking about your bling and how much dope you smoke and how much p*ssy you score.

            Truth is- modern Nashville has gotten to be worse than pop- it’s all pick up trucks and telling girls in blue jeans to shake their thing and drinking budweiser with your buddies and pretending to be patriotic. And it’s just as bubblegum as the pop stuff, except with Telecasters and fiddles instead of synths and good looking guys in brand new cowboy hats that really would be rather be playing rock and roll but know what pays the bills.

          • CripesAmighty

            Oh, God yes. I was referring to the Jepsen joint. Country has always been risible, but the latest mutation of’hick-pop’ dreck makes my skin crawl: musically insipid, thematically repellent, alternating vapid belligerence with simpering sentimentality. 3chords and a complaint form. Bleagh.

          • mancityRed6

            I’ve seen it, or at least the one. I just wanted to know what the fuss about it was.

        • Three Finger Salute
        • jesterpunk
    • RobKanC

      Calm down Ross!!!

      • BosGrl

        We were on a break!!!!!

    • OutOfOrbit

      CALL YOU WHAT???!!!

    • BosGrl

      She had so much fun with that.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Chris Hayes and Joy Reid (no-Joy tonight) have depressed the living fuck out of me. Not sure I can make it through Rachel tonight.

    • BloviateMe

      That was fucking crazy. That guy’s nuts.

  • Panika MCD

    I just finished the transcript and HOLY WHAT THE FUCK, BATMAN?!

    • Count Awesome

      “That’s HOLY WHAT THE FUCK, GOD DAMNED, BATMAN to you!”
      –The God Damned Batman

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Thanks for reading that and invoking the Adam West Batman. Now I know not to read it.

      • Panika MCD

        it’s pretty fucking interesting. there’s this woman sitting in Congress with all these Congressmen around her and we probably haven’t read much about healthcare…

    • 3FingerPete

      I’m a bit behind. What transcript are we talking about?

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        TRMP had “conversations” with the journos on the plane. It’s comedy and tragedy all rolled into one.

      • Panika MCD

        most of the stories coming out tonight are from a transcript of conversations Tsarina Short Fingers had with the press on the ride over to France. it’s some weird shit. CNN published all portions the White House gave them permission to publish today.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    I am drunk and i love you wonks

    • BosGrl

      We love you toooo Skwerl!

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Awwww hugs!

    • BloviateMe

      I am wonk and I love drunks.

    • Sophia

      I am not drunk and I love you too!

    • therblig
      • OutOfOrbit

        Not work here, have chainsaw, cut tree down. Easy-peezy.

      • mailman27

        The fucking squirrels* will figure out a way to get the food.
        –all birds everywhere

        * Fucking squirrels, not skwerls. :)

    • Vecchioivan

      Thish guy! Hic! Thish guy is my friend! Hic. Thish guy right here!

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Is that you, Mark Kasowitz?

  • Sophia

    Damn it! He asked for the indoor version!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zt7rXE9vhNY

    • “Hey. Where did all the water go. THIS THING IS DEFECTIVE!”

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      That dog is SO SMART, though, really! Full of purposeful intent, a plan, and determination to do it. I can’t stop laughing!

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I said I needed my water bowl indoors, damn it!

  • BloviateMe
  • Komsumverweigerer Ron

    For the first time in over a week my head hurts worse than my mangled hand. Enough is enough. Night, everypony.

    • Sophia

      Night, night. How is your hand doing?

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        Better than I expected. The injury sites are ugly and even a bit stomach-churning, but there’s healing happening. Monday I see the surgeon again for another look-see and some idea what to expect about the nerves. I’m trying VERY hard not to think about that.

        • Sophia

          Glad it’s healing. Here’s hoping for good news on Monday! I will think about it for you so just get it off your mind.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            Aww, you are FAR too kind!

    • Courser_Resistance

      Have a good night Ron. I’m about there myself. I get overwhelmed by derp by this time in the week. I take weekends off. No shows, only passing glances at Wonkette. I have to compartmentalize the crazy.

    • Vienna Woods

      Migraine? Even I have one with this shitty weather and I get very few with my daith piercing. Sleep Well!

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        Might have been. I stomped it down hard, though.

  • Serai 1

    Giffing some today. Made this for no reason, other than my own amusement.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bd05331b01b01b55ee16f6894a6d4dd46f90667ce64e99603535c1d3eee1891b.gif

    • Courser_Resistance

      I like it! I find it mesmerizing. Random “Crotch! Legs! Absinthe” is just so WTF, it’s awesome!

      • Shanzgood

        Reminds me of Father Jack. “FECK! ARSE! GIRRLS!”

      • Serai 1

        LOL. That’s Governor Lepetomaine doing his impression of Toulouse L’autrec. You have to hear it to get the full effect, as he’s sinultaneously singing the Can-Can tune!

  • 3FingerPete

    I was at Naval Training Center Orlando during the 1976 election. My roommate there told me if Jimmy Carter won the election America would come under Soviet nuclear attack within six months due to Carter’s weakness. Sadly, by the time the 6 month mark came and went we had both moved on to different assignments, so I never got the opportunity to laugh in his stupid face.

  • Count Awesome

    OT: After reading Trump’s personal lawyer’s horrid email exchanges earlier today I’m looking very forward to Mueller just questioning all these fools.

  • Reximus
    • I shouldn’t be laughing. But, I am.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I feel like this is symbolic of Trump’s America. I’m that kid, and the government is the Doberman, waiting to bite me in the nuts through a combination
      of stupidity and incompetence, wi