GOOD WHISKEY WEDNESDAY, Wonketariat! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today.
Donald Trump Jr. went on Hannity to plead stupidity and only continued to embarrass himself as Hannity asked “every question [he] could think of.” Which questions? All of them, Katie.
The Russian mob lawyer lady who met with Little Donnie has a fascinating list of clients that includes Russian businessmen, lobbyists, bankers and ALLEGEDLY government officials and spies. She also has a history of fighting Russian sanctions.
The GOP wants to pull back the curtain on McConnellCare tomorrow so that they can put it to a vote next week, but a number of Republicans are still terrified of being bitched out by their constituents.
A new Politico/Morning Consult poll finds that 40 percent of voters want congressional Republicans to keep chipping away at healthcare, 47 percent want them to just quit, 54 percent want them to work with Democrats, and 67 percent of Republicans want to continue that whole repeal and replace crap.
Lindsey Graham is working on GrahamCare, but he’s not telling anyone what it is, what’s in it, or how many people he’ll screw over.
Republicans are quietly admitting they’re wasting time and tax payer dollars due to their inability to pass legislation or confirm nominees. The truth can be a bitter pill.
The House Appropriations Committee has found more than a billion Ameros to build Trump’s wall (aka: Tortilla Curtain), but it’s unlikely to make it through the Senate where everyone is focused on figuring out a way to kill Medicaid.
The Russian sanctions bill has stalled in Congress as Republicans figure out how to not piss off Trump and fuck with Senate rules, and Democrats try to paint them Republicans a rosy shade of Russian red.
Tomorrow, Betsy DeVos will meet with “men’s rights” groups to talk about what they claim is an epidemic of false rape accusations on college campuses, and to hear them bitch about red pill bullshit like repealing Title IX.
The Trump administration wants to kill the International Entrepreneur Rule so that no filthy foreigners with lots of money can immigrate to the US and start a business. Suck it, Silicon Valley!
Some Republicans are fighting Trump’s attempt to cut federal workers’ retirement benefits, which isn’t the biggest issue to defend in the grand scheme of regulatory rollback, but it’s a start.
Ted Cruz won’t respond to Trump-Russia questions with actual facts, but he will blame everything on Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton so that he doesn’t have to criticize the guy who said his dad killed Kennedy.
A new dump of 3,863 nude photos and videos of female Marines was leaked on social media despite new regs geared at curbing revenge porn from/against members of the military. There’s no joke here, there’s only cowards waiting for a court-martial.
North Korea is sending its peons to work in China and Russia, leading human rights groups to accuse North Korea of slave trading. The joke here is that the UN tried to accuse and sanction North Korea for using slave labor, but Russia and China objected.
A massive chunk of ice broke of the Antarctic ice shelf, and now we all have to get new maps. Don’t worry, I’m sure we’ll figure something out.
Trey Gowdy went on Fox News teevee last night to blow a hot load of steam but oddly enough, Fox’s video cuts off some of the most damning criticisms of the Trump administration, so ‘Yr Wonkette went and found that video outside. HOW BOW ‘DAH?
Poor independent journalist Jared Sexton Yates spent the past year investigating Trump-Russia, but Yates was flummoxed (FLUMMOXED!) when Little Donnie went and tweeted the proof.
The FCC will not weed out fake comments left by anti-net neutrality lobbying groups who used stolen identities in an astro-turf campaign to skew the debate over whether or not the Internet should continue to remain free and open.
The Internet will be fucked up today in protest of FCC Chairman Ajit Pai’s attempt to rollback net neutrality regulations enacted under the Obama administration. There’s no joke here, this is very serious; it affects ALL OF US.
And your late night wrap-up is back! The Daily Show wonders if Trump Jr will get his name removed from his facade; Colbert can’t breathe because of that smoking gun, and then sat down with Joe Scarborough (twice); Connan O’Brien and comedian Flula Borg have a sexxxy new way to screw the environment; and Jimmy Kimmel found the trailer for the Gremlins reboot w/ Trump & Putin.
And here’s your morning Nice Time! IT’S FIONA! Yey! She grew up so fast!
HEY YOU! All the cool kids are donating their Ameros to ‘Yr Wonkette. You want to be cool, don’t you?