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David Corn of Mother Jones was the first person to report on the Steele Dossier, that collection of haikus and sonnets written by British spy Christopher Steele, what alleged BEAUCOUPS collusion between Donald Trump, his associates and Russia, in order to steal the 2016 election. Unfortunately, at the time, America was laser focused on BUT HER EMAILS! and therefore not that many people noticed. The dossier also alleged that Russia has some serious kompromat on Trump, which may or may not involve the current president bouncing in his chair and clapping his hands with a Cialis boner while Russia’s finest pee hookers did the pee-pee dance on the Moscow Ritz-Carlton bed where Barack and Michelle Obama once slept.

Certain things in the dossier have been confirmed. But the dossier is and always has been raw intelligence, which means it’s a STARTING POINT for investigators, and not to be taken as the results of a fully realized investigation.

BUT! In light of Donald Trump Jr.’s Tweeter Confessions about how ayup, he jumped up and down and jizzed his lucky panties when Rob Goldstone, a family pal with ties to Russian pop stars and oligarchs, offered him a meeting with a “Russian government lawyer,” promising she would give the campaign some dirty down low dirties on Hillary Clinton’s dealings with Russia, David Corn went back to the dossier and found that SURPRISE, Junior’s confession actually lines up in some parts, starting with Steele’s memo from June 20, 2016:

In that first memo, dated June 20, Steele wrote that Trump “and his inner circle have accepted a regular flow of intelligence from the Kremlin, including on his Democratic and other political rivals.”

Corn then quotes directly from the memo:

Source A confided that the Kremlin had been feeding TRUMP and his team valuable intelligence on his opponents, including Democratic presidential candidate Hillary CLINTON, for several years…This was confirmed by Source D, a close associate of TRUMP who had organized and managed his recent trips to Moscow, and who reported, also in June 2016, that this Russian intelligence had been “very helpful”.

And when did Spunky McTrumpkins start doing condom-free emailing about having a sexxxy meeting with a Russian? That would be June 3, 2016. The meeting happened June 9.

Noting that Rob Goldstone promised Junior gossip that would “incriminate Hillary and her dealings with Russia,” Corn flags another part of the memo:

A dossier of compromising material on Hillary CLINTON has been collated by the Russian intelligence services over many years and mainly comprises bugged conversations she had on various visits to Russia and intercepted phone calls rather than any embarrassing conduct. The dossier is controlled by Kremlin spokesman, PESKOV, directly on PUTIN’s orders. However it has not as yet been distributed abroad, including to TRUMP. Russian intentions for its deployment still unclear.

Huh!

Now, you might be thinking, if the dossier is right and the Russians had been feeding Team Trump delicious Russian pee dirt on his opponents for “several years” (it also alleges Russia had been cultivating Trump as an asset for FIVE YEARS at that point), why would Junior be so excited to get sexxxy dirt on Hillary in June of 2016? A possible answer is that maybe this was the first time Junior was ever specifically targeted. It’s possible Russia considered him a dumb idiot with a bad face and a BP oil spill dead bird on his head, and therefore useless. Also, if Russia was shoveling them dirt on Trump’s opponents, they probably used multiple channels to do so. This might have been a new special channel, just for Skippy McDumbShit.

Also, note that the Russians who set up this meeting with Baby Trump got to know his Daddy in 2013 during the Moscow Miss Universe Pageant, the same trip where the dossier alleges Russia got some kompromat on Trump in the form of pee hooker video/audio/claymation re-enactments.

So … did Junior’s confession get us a few “drip drip drips” closer to the pee tape? MAYBE.

It’s of course possible that the pee tape doesn’t exist. BUT IT MIGHT. (This piece lays out a compelling case for why it DOES.)

Our Wonkette Expert Assessment is that, with Junior making a confession that lines up super nicely with parts of the dossier, and knowing the FBI has already confirmed other key parts of the dossier, the Donald Trump Russian Pee Hooker Tape Forecast has officially been raised to Partly Cloudy With A 50% Chance Of So Much Pee.

You just think about that while you yammer at each other in this, your open thread.

Wonkette salaries are funded solely by readers like you! If you love us, click below to fund us!

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  • spangled

    copy/paste from the Don Jr thread:
    TIMELINE:

    June 3
    Goldstone to Don Jr, “This is obviously very high level and sensitive information but is part of Russia and its government’s support for Mr Trump”

    June 7 4:20pm (lol)
    Goldstone to Don Jr, “Hope all is well. Emin asked that I schedule a meeting with you and the Russian government attorney who is flying over from Moscow for this Thursday.”

    later that day (this is the primary night speech)
    Donald Trump says “I am going to give a major speech on probably Monday of next week, and we’re going to be discussing all of the things that have taken place with the Clintons. I think you’re going to find it very informative and very very interesting”

    June 9
    Meeting with Russian lawyer, Don Jr, Paul Manafort, and Jared Kushner

    June 13 (“probably the Monday of next week”)
    Donald Trump gives a speech in the wake of the Pulse shooting that begins, “This was going to be a speech on Hillary Clinton and how bad a President, especially in these times of Radical Islamic Terrorism, she would be.”

    They can’t say Donald Trump didn’t know about the meeting. He knew, and he was planning to give a speech about what he discovered from it.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      The covfefe thickens….

      • ibwilliamsi

        Don’t get that on you, it’ll leave a permanent stain.

  • jesuswasablack
  • Joe Beese

    So everybody seems to be assuming “the piss tape” (if it exists) would involve something resembling consent, like this was a couple well paid college age escorts agreeing to a little piss play for extra money.

    But you’ve got strong hints of Trump’s predilection for underage girls, history of violence towards women, disgust with female bodily functions, and the strong likelihood that the “escorts” were provided by Russian intelligence and/or organized crime with the express intent to compromise Trump. So, that’s not really setting a scene in which “consent” features prominently.

    http://www.metafilter.com/168157/Theres-a-good-chance-I-may-have-committed-some-lighttreason#7091065

    • Joe Beese

      There is also every reason in the world to believe that if a tape was made, the woman/women in question are now very likely dead, having been silenced by one party or another. This wasn’t a jolly romp like in some cheeky ’70s softcore farce, it’s super effed-up shit involving powerful people.

      http://www.metafilter.com/168157/Theres-a-good-chance-I-may-have-committed-some-lighttreason#7091093

      • Wontium

        I feel like I knew this but hadn’t soecifically thought it yet. Moment of silence for the first people actually killed by the Trump Presidency.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          When all is said and done, there needs to be a Tomb to the Unknown Pee Hookers on the Mall in D.C.

          • ariel_gee_398

            “Their hearts were made of gold,
            Heads full of dreams untold.
            But they had bladders full of pee,
            And now we know not where they be.”

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        And all because of his hatred for the black president. Unbelievable

    • Snopes Shop

      Haven’t thought about that and you’re right and ugh.

    • SayItWithOtters

      I’ve maintained from the beginning that they must have been 12-year-old Ivanka lookalikes to trigger any sort of panic about covering it up in him. He would’t give a shit if they were adults. Look at the way be behaved at his pubescent beauty pageants.

  • ArgieBargie

    For the 100th time: Lordy, I hope there are tapes.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      The Trump Presidential Library is going to need plenty of coin operated booths.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        I want dibs on the handi-wipes concession!

        • hendenburg2

          I pity the poor bastard you would employ to refill them.

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            Don Jr.?

    • Thiazin Red

      I don’t ever want to see it, but I would be happy knowing it existed.

  • jesuswasablack
  • Charles Wolf

    Didn’t anybody tell Jr. not to Tweet while Tweaking.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      All his attention was focused on not being a twerp while twerking.

  • jesuswasablack
  • ⭐️Most Accurate Poster 2017⭐️

    *Starts banging on table* PEE PEE TAPE! PEE PEE TAPE! PEE PEE TAPE!

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Urine trouble for raising that Dossier again, Evan.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
  • jesuswasablack
  • Daniel Hooper

    Is it a bad sign that I can read about the potential treason and gross fetishes of our President and his child(not necessarily in that order, or exclusive to only one of them) while scarfing down half a pizza without blinking an eye?

    • BackDoorMan

      … well, you gotta keep your strength up, this is a marathon not a sprint.

  • Michael R
  • jesuswasablack
  • Boscoe

    I just hope Mueller gives righteous props to the Trumps for making his job so damn easy.

  • memzilla Ω

    And they fell for it hook, line, sinker, reel of fishing line, rod, tackle box, bait can, and 24′ boat.

    https://twitter.com/KenDilanianNBC/status/884855324989169666

    • WotsAllThisThen

      “Bait on a hook? I love it! Gimme gimme gimme gimme”

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Putin’s the master.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Not the bait can too?! THAT’S WHERE I KEEP MY…
      *SPLASH diving into shallow water.*

  • Snopes Shop

    Fuck James Comey. Just fuck that guy.

    • kareemachan

      Yeah, he blew it. But he also documented it.

      • Snopes Shop

        So much valuable time wasted with this shit, though. We haven’t even cured cancer yet.

        • BackDoorMan

          … an argument could be made that if Unpresident Trump and family and cohorts are removed from the White House that would be one cancer the country has cured. Or excised at least. Malignancy confirmed. No guarantee against remission though.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    So, I was any of this Russian Intel actually useful?

    I don’t remember Trump laying a charge at Hillary’s door other than made up or exaggerated stuff people like the Benghazi investigators or the Bernie Bros had been spraying around for months on end.

    • Thiazin Red

      That seems to be one of the new lines, that they only TRIED to collude. The information wasn’t good, so it should be okay. Call OJ’s lawyers “If the info was shit, you must acquit”.

      • ⭐️Most Accurate Poster 2017⭐️

        It’s a felony to solicit the information in the first place, even if you don’t get it.

      • JMP

        I am presently incarcerated, imprisoned for a crime I did not even commit. “Attempted murder,” now honestly, did they ever give anyone a Nobel prize for “attempted chemistry?”

        • Thiazin Red

          Sadly attempted chemistry is more likely to get you the Darwin Prize.

        • SterWonk

          I’ve been thinking of that very quote all day!!!

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      there has been a push for fuck if i remember how long, probably projection and deflection that Hillary was the real crimer on lots of htings, including something something russia.

      the giving away the uranium and alleged pay to play and blah blah blah.

      Not a scintilla of evidence of course, but ya know.

    • Manders

      The intel appears to be just recorded conversations from trips she made abroad, but no actual bad behavior or anything that could be considered compromising.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        still useful though, look at the wikileaks hack!

        (the good wife and risotto recipes, etc).

        I’m sure the right would find *something* in there to make a big deal of.

        • BackDoorMan

          … or, if they couldn’t find anything other than “this is the ingredient for Podesta’s risotto that he didn’t tell you about!”… they would just make something up. You know, like how HiLIARy gave away all the U.S. uranium to countries that want to nuke Amerika (“fuck yeah!”)…

    • AyeDiosDrinko

      I think the Russians were setting them up to have more kompromat on them.

    • JMP

      That’s the trouble with all the attempts to dig up dirt on Clinton; she’s completely clean, her record is of consistent honest and ethical behavior, so to create scandals her enemies have just had to make up total bullshit, like the claims that she was somehow responsible for the Benghazi attacks, that she somehow rigged the primary by being more popular among Democratic voters than Sanders, that she did something vaguely bad with her legal private email server, and of course that she secretly murdered her friend who committed suicide.

      • BackDoorMan

        … she’s a Democrat. She has a vagina. She refused to stay in the kitchen and bake cookies. That was enough to engage in character assassination by the RWNJ brigade – which she years ago correctly pegged as “a vast right wing conspiracy”. She wasn’t wrong.

  • Boscoe

    So, we’re waiting for someone to leak the pee tapes then?

    • CaliCheeseSucks

      Ah, the sweet relief when it is finally released!

    • Nockular cavity

      Maybe they’re going to…stream them.

    • Joe Beese

      That will get us to the heart of the bladder.

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      Urine the right place to find out

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Number one if by land….

      • Jeffocaster in the East

        Two if by pee?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I’m in, he’s in, you’re in.

  • Michael R

    How did Alec Baldwin not recreate this hotel room scene when he had the chance ?

  • jesterpunk
  • Thiazin Red

    Can we talk about that stupid David Brooks article? Now, there are things that make it difficult to move between classes, and this is worth discussing.

    However, its also extraordinarily patronizing and I do not for one second think he brought a friend to lunch only for them to recoil in terror like Frankenstein’s Monster from the horrible complexity of common deli meats because their high school education didn’t cover “fancy” foods. Then there is the assumption that Mexican is somehow more appropriate for the uneducated.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Oh, I’m always willing to savage Bobo! And if that story is even 0.0001% true I’ll eat my shoe. Without salt. Charlie Pierce took him on today too:

      http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/news/a56264/david-brooks-meat/

    • keinsignal

      God just that one paragraph is like an endless hallway of mirrors each reflecting and amplifying what a shitty human being David Brooks is.

      Also the bit at the end about Whole Foods – no, I think the prices really *are* the main thing keeping the lower classes away. The subset of the population looking to pay $7/ea for ethically-farmed baking potatoes is some pretty fucking rarefied strata, it turns out.

    • BackDoorMan

      … honestly, in the age of computer-connected mobile devices, is it so difficult to ask your voice-activated assistant to look up [unknown word of choice]? This would have saved me a lot of regret back in the day when a digital watch was all the rage and I ordered sweetbreads at a restaurant… because, sweet and bread, two of my favourite things and I was sure I would enjoy it. Had I been warned it was going to be offal…

  • Joe Beese
    • Boscoe

      LOL I GUESSED IT!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Why is he looking for spies here on Earth when he should be on Mars looking for child prostitution rings?

    • Thiazin Red

      This reminds me of when Kate Moss got arrested for having a shit load of coke, and one of the things she said in her defense was that she was doing all the coke to keep it away from Pete Doherty.

      • OutOfOrbit

        Busted for Coke? Aww man.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        didn’t pete townsend say the kiddie porn he had was for research?

      • Claire

        In fairness, any cocaine not inhaled within a 48-hour period will relocate to Pete Doherty’s sinuses.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Riiiiiight. And he was interviewing the two pee hookers for a sociology paper he had to write…..

    • Boscoe

      Repeating my comment from an earlier post: “The next excuse is he claims it was all a super-secret sting operation that he totally came up with all by himself, to nab the REAL traitors, which of course are Obama and Hillary…”

      SO, we’ve now verified that I am as insane as Alex Jones. :(

      • tomamitai

        Do you strip to the waist to eat barbeque?

        • Boscoe

          Okay, I guess I’m *ALMOST* as insane as Alex Jones. ;P

    • Manders

      Ah, so his job on the campaign was . . . counter-espionage, then? Well, that seems normal for a Presidential campaign.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i really really really hope Don jr. wasn’t in charge of finding spies (or in charge or taking part in anything really).

        • theCryptofishist

          He couldn’t even handle Eric.

    • proudgrampa

      Uh. Sure.

    • crisptickle

      How the fuck was that his job?

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Is no tape. We have Laserdisc now. Is format of the future.”
    — A Russian A/V Nerd

  • Bill D. Burger

    Donny’s not upset over ‘some’ leakers.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DB3mQ7dVwAQeRmi.jpg

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Jennifer R

    8 of 10 needed bosses down in my Rabi Ribi 0% run. These bosses are starting to take a lot of time per attempt. Like it feels like 5+ minutes per try and maybe it takes me from 3-10 tries per boss? And these are the normal style bosses still. The end game and post game bosses are just fuck yous (besides the mirror fight in 0%).

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      Sounds intriguing…..huh?

      • Jennifer R

        It’s a non linear metroidvania with danmaku style boss fights. The story is very miss or hit but the gameplay is superb. Not as hard as La Mulana, but more meat in it than Axiom Verge. http://store.steampowered.com/app/400910/RabiRibi/

  • SCK

    Fuck his tax returns, I want to see the pee pee tapes!

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      pee tapes won’t send him to jail.

      • SCK

        He’s never going to jail (and, please believe me that I’m not contrarian… I’d love to see all of the Trump fucksters in jail)… I just want to have that video played over and over again in 2018.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          eh, i like to dream – but if the tape has both urine and trump in the same frame, it could be a wonderful Rob-Ford type thing, I agree.

    • Boscoe

      DEAR GOD WHY??? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???

  • amrak63

    Re-posting these classic tweets from the wonderful George Takei.

    http://imgur.com/3HK3a3t

  • Joe Beese
  • Bill D. Burger
  • amrak63

    Please please please Ascended Madoka let it be real…

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    I believe in the pee tapes for a couple of reasons not the least of which is the fact that nothing in that dossier has been proven false. Also, while I realize that for some people, this is a fetish, but for Trump, if this happened, it’s because in his addled mind, he saw it as a way of humiliating Obama. Because, as the dossier states, this act was allegedly performed in a hotel room, on the bed where the Obama’s had previously stayed. There isn’t a sane person on this planet who can deny that Trump is just petty enough and vindictive enough to gain some perverse pleasure from this.

    • Joe Beese

      It’s the kind of detail you can’t imagine anyone making up.

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        Yes, because if proven false, there goes the rest of the information provided. It’s like a jury listening to a witness. They are specifically instructed that if one part of a person’s testimony is discredited, they are within their right to discredit all of the testimony

    • Jeffocaster in the East

      I believe for every drop of pee that falls some power goes…..

    • AyeDiosDrinko

      Not just humiliate Obama, but also the added bonus of especially degrading women. Dude HATES women.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        ALL OF IT, KATIE

      • Snopes Shop

        NO. NOBODY loves women more than Donald Trump. NOBODY.

        • AyeDiosDrinko

          No misogynist. You’re misogynist.

    • Michael Smith

      Gatsby believed in that pee tape

  • BadKitty904
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Gregory Purcell

    Ok what I don’t get… how is Trump Jr. meetings with a Russian lawyer to get dirt on Hillary different than Steel a Hillary campaign employee, meeting with Kremlin officials to get dirt on Trump.

    • JMP

      Steele, whose name you couldn’t spell right even though it’s in the article, was not a Clinton campaign employee, he was doing his own investigation into Trump’s illegal contacts with Russian officials instead of getting handed stolen intelligence from those same officials, and your attempt at false equivalence is weak.

      • Gregory Purcell

        He was hired by the campaign to do opposition research.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          and every campaign does oppo research, but i second the the last half of JMP’s point (its worded well).

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          No, the Dems hired Fusion, after the RNC had also hired them (which was when the dossier first came about). Steele discovered that information in the course of doing that research and promptly turned it over to authorities because he realized the explosive nature of what he came across. That is world’s apart from having a direct meeting with a Kremlin lawyer to receive an illegal gift in the form of information, to be used in a political campaign

        • Vecchioivan

          And I am Marie of Romania . . .

      • Gregory Purcell

        Yes every campaign does opposition research. Listening to what some Russian lawyer has, as dirt on your opposition isn’t criminal. If you want that to be treason, we would have to officially declare them to be an enemy.

        The only, only thing I like about Trump is he wants to be friends with Russia.

        Trump’s many crimes are mostly domestic. We should focus on that
        But we won’t because the establishment wants to pick a fight with Russia. And I am so against that idea.

        • JMP

          Yes, your history shows very constant apologism for the brutal Putin regime and praise of the lying propaganda outfit RT. That’s fucking bullshit. And colluding with the intelligence of a hostile nation to steal information for your opponents certainly is criminal.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            He’s so fucking obvious- “I’m just asking questions, да?”

          • JMP

            I’m just reminded of sad I am about what’s happened to the once-venerable The Nation since vanden Heuval and Cohen started drinking Vladimir’s Kool Aid. Just like this idiot, they’ve even gone so far as to justify his invasion of Ukraine and earlier attempt to install his puppet as dictator of that independent country.

          • Gregory Purcell

            History. History is every war we have been in during the last 50 years is was sold and is built on lies.

            I went to Moscow in 1994. College theater​. Everything our news and government, and it’s intelligence agencies were telling us about Russia in 1994 under Yeltsin, everything was a lie. He was the most hated man in Russia.

            Did you know the GDP and the medium wage in Russia is up 300% since Putin took office in 2000.

          • JMP

            That must be great comfort to all the reporters and opposition leaders Putin has had murdered.

          • Gregory Purcell

            Have you ever looked at a case and then tried to prove the other side the opposition side.

            Pick any of those cases and look at the evidence the Russians put forward. The homicide rate for journalists under Putin has fallen.

            Demonizing a foreign leader is usually a precursor to war.

          • JMP

            Bull fucking shit, lying liar. And absolutely no one is advocating for war with Russia; that’s just a complete invention of his propaganda repeated by his spammer armies and those useful idiots who have brought into his web of lies.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Demonizing a foreign leader is usually a precursor to war.

            Actually, it goes on every fucking day all around the world and almost never results in war. Boris here is lying, just like he’s been lying about everything else he’s posted

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Pick any of those cases and look at the evidence the Russians put forward

            HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Yes, let’s take the “evidence” put forward by the very people accused of the murder

            HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Jesus Christ, are you actually on the Kremlin payroll?

          • Gregory Purcell

            I own 1500 shares of Russhydro, a Russian green energy company they pay a 6% dividend, which is half of their earnings. And the Russian government owns more than half the shares, like the own at least half all the important companies in their economy (Socialist)

            So yes I am in fact getting money from Russia.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Sorry Boris- I realize that your goal is to derail the conversation by any means, including making people take the time to disprove your bullshit, so I haven’t been paying attention to you beyond a few snarky replies. Forgive me if I don’t give a shit about your obvious pro Kremlin propaganda (hint, there’s a world of difference between shares in a Russian company and being on the Kremlin payroll- you’re being dishonest again and still attempting to derail the conversation)

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Go home Gregory Boris, you’re drunk. Obvious Putinbot is obvious

  • JMP

    No puppet, no puppet! My son’s the puppet!

  • Angela Ruzzo

    There’s only one thing that bothers me about the Pee Tape. If it exists, and is released, it will be on the news and on the Internet for the rest of my life, and frankly it is not something I want to see personally, and definitely not over-and-over again. Just last week some news channel ran tape showing the airplanes crashing into the Twin Towers and I thought “I don’t want to see that again. I already saw it like 1478 times, and that was just during the month of September 2001. Enough already.” It will be the same with the Pee Tape.

    On the subject of the Twin Towers, I have 2 gorgeous t-shirts showing the Manhattan Skyline with the Towers prominent that I bought in Manhattan on August 6, 2001. I never wore them. After 9/11 I couldn’t bring myself to wear them. Does anyone have suggestions as to what to do with them, because I don’t want to throw them away or donate them to Goodwill. They are really gorgeous.

    • marxalot

      t-shirt quilt?

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Well that’s a creative idea, thanks, but I don’t quilt.

        • Crystalclear12

          Donate to the memorial?

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Good idea, thanks, and I tried that, but they said they already had enough clothing and memorabilia displays and had no room for more.

          • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

            Perhaps there is another memorial organization that would like them. Or perhaps donate to firefighters?
            You could also offer them on eBay, with the proceeds going to the memorial, or to the funds helping First Responders with health issues.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Donating to firefighters is a great idea, thanks!

        • marxalot

          frames? sell them and donate the proceeds?

          • Angela Ruzzo

            That’s a very good idea, but to frame them properly would be expensive and I can’t afford it. But you gave me an idea, because there are several independent framing shops in the college town where I live, and an Art School, and a non-profit Art League, perhaps we could do a joint project for charity. Thanks!

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i still can’t stand to watch that footage and i was and still am far away from it (over 2,000 according to google maps).

      I thought the networks had put a moratorium on airing that footage, but I guess not.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Only ABC had an official moratorium. The others agreed to show it only when it “relates to current news stories.”

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        I couldn’t even watch it at the time. I was like, I know what happened. I really don’t need to SEE it. So awful.

        • theCryptofishist

          Me, too. I think a number of americans more or less induced PTSD by watching it over and over.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          You know what I remember most? I remember standing in a coworker’s office with about 20 people watching CNN on his computer screen shortly after the second plane, and I said “You know, those two buildings are going to fall down.” There was deathly silence and looks of horror on faces as everyone in the room suddenly realized this was true – as bad as it was, it was going to get worse.

          • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

            Horrible. Our son was 5, and we went to get him at school, and all the parents, especially of the really young kids, were pale and drawn, and trying to think what we could possibly say.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I was 7 when JFK was assassinated. It was exactly the same. EXACTLY. What upset me at the time was not the actual murder, because we didn’t see it on TV and I was too young to understand the implications. What upset me was the sight of grownups who were speechless, and frightened, and who did not know what to say or do. I had never realized until then that grownups were not omnipotent. THAT is scary when you are 7.

            When Walter Cronkite announced that JFK was dead, and then he put his glass back on and looked down and swallowed and cleared his throat and was clearly about to cry, that’s when I got scared. Walter Cronkite was crying?????!!!!!! Holy Toledo!!!
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PXORQE5-CY

    • proudgrampa

      Frame them? Put them in your office or some other room.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I thought of that. But frankly, I don’t like to look at them.

        • theCryptofishist

          Hold on to them until someone opens a museum about the event and its effect on our culture.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Thanks, and that’s what I thought at the time, and I’ve been doing that for 16 years. I’m 60 now. I can’t wait too much longer.

          • Persistent Demme

            Pass them on as a cultural item to a young, responsible person, like a grandchild, etc.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Good idea, but Alas! I know none such. I’ve got 6 nieces and nephews and they couldn’t care less. They don’t even want their great-grandfather’s pocket watch or their grandparents’ WWII medals. All they want is the latest-and-greatest iPhone.

          • theCryptofishist

            Yeah, given. How about selling them to a private collector of such memorabilia, although my only idea on that is a really tacky/creepy ebay listing.
            Maybe there’s a homeless shelter…

          • Angela Ruzzo

            9/11 memorabilia is apparently a hot ticket on eBay lately, but word is that the buyers are investors, buying things cheap, intending to hold on to them for long-term profit. Another Wonker suggested framing them, which is expensive, but maybe I can find someone who will pay for the framing and then we donate it to a non-profit auction to benefit firemen or something similar and equally worthwhile.

    • LucindathePook

      I know. I acquired Christmas cards with the twin towers, in back of a cartoon Santa and reindeers standing in the torch of Statue of Liberty. They are kinda cool, but obviously pre-2001 as cartoony. No idea what to do with them.

  • marxalot

    In an attempt to find the most unsettling version, I’m listening to nothing but recordings of “Some Velvet Morning.”
    I maaaay be going a little crazy.

    • tomamitai

      Did Lee Hazelwood record that song with Nancy Sinatra before or after he crashed the Exxon Valdez?

    • Shucky Ducky

      Roland S. Howard and Lydia Lunch. Now go outside and play.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Zippy W Pinhead

      not sure I’d want my daughter growing up to be a Russian hooker…

    • NotReallyHere

      Is this the annoying Jeopardy! guy, and also Mormon?

  • Rick Hill

    So…trump likely had info on his republican opponents, too. I wonder if they think that that’s okey dokey

  • memzilla Ω

    Sure. It’s all a “big nothingburger.” Would you like lies with that?
    . https://twitter.com/AdamParkhomenko/status/884878218418847747

  • Seamus Romney
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Russian interests invested in the Trump grime family to the tune of tens or hundreds of millions. Of course they would protect an investment.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • amrak63

      But only almost.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Lyly Sirivong

    I’ve never travelled with United Airlines, but they seem trash.

    http://people.com/human-interest/united-airlines-destroy-wheelchair-valentin-duthion/

    “United Airlines ‘Destroys’ Man’s Custom $42,000 Wheelchair During Trip from France to the U.S.

    United Airlines is in more hot water after employees allegedly “destroyed” a custom wheelchair belonging to a 24-year-old man who suffers from a severe spinal condition.

    Valentin Duthion, a France native, set off on a New Jersey-bound flight from Europe on July 2 with a group of friends and left his custom, 550 lb., approximately $42,000 chair in the care of airline staff, Duthion’s sister, Lucie, told Le Progrès.

    “This is how @united airline accompanies people with disabilities,” Lucie tweeted alongside a video of the damaged chair. “Armchair destroyed (37,000€), trip to the USA wasted. Shameful #RT.”

    The footage showed pieces of the chair broken off and its wheels contorted. […]”

    • biologydave
      • Claire

        United breaks ALL sorts of musical instruments. Don’t fly with them if you have one.

        • biologydave

          I do, and that’s why I don’t.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      And they’ll respond, not by obviously REPLACING the fucking wheelchair immediately and giving him a lifetime pass, all of which would be a fucking drop in the bucket to their annual net income, but by somehow blaming him and hiding behind fine print in the “contract of carriage.”

    • Three Finger Salute

      Mitch McConnell approves

  • Crystalclear12

    The Trump Administration: Creating a niche market for age appropriate history books!

  • amrak63
  • Sophia

    I have to admit that I have been somewhat skeptical about the pee tapes, however the more I learn about this clown crew the less I will be surprised if it does show up.

  • TJ Barke

    The pee tape is such a complete disgrace that I really hope it’s real so I forever can say: You fuckers voted for that pervert so please STFU forever, and go fuck yourselves.

    • Jennifer R

      Maybe this means I am electable!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Depends. Let’s take a look at your resume.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        If we’re going to have perversion and debauchery in the White House, then by thunder let’s be honest about it!

    • anon_the_great

      Now, now, let’s not be hatin’ on the Golden Shower community. As perversions go this one’s pretty harmless.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        If a bit unappetizing. Not to mention creating extra laundry!

        • crisptickle

          …..not if you do it right

          • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

            How? By drinking laundry detergent??

            TBH I DON’T REALLY WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWERS

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Aw, I think the pee tape is the COVER story. I think the tape they actually have is much, much more damaging. I think they have in their possession something that would make him literally implode, that he would experience as a fatal blow to his malignant narcissistic ego, that’s so primally terrifying to his brutal, awful self, that he’d literally sell out a country and his children just to stop it. It might be a tape of him being pounded from behind by a large Russian mafia guy, and coming; or a close up of the micropeen; or him murdering someone (or being framed for it).

      • Old town Urbandale

        Yep, IMHO a pee tape would be survivable. Unless the pee hookers were 12.

        • amrak63

          It would be irresponsible NOT to speculate…

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          12 year old Muslin boys

          • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

            I’d settle for real ones.

      • Three Finger Salute

        That’s COVFEFER story to you.

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          It was RIGHT THERE FOR ME and I missed it….sorry….

      • bupkus231

        Pleez, pleez, pleez, pleez!!!!!

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        I could imagine a scenario where the Russians set up a “here, your bigliest dream: you get to fake-strangle this fake Obama-looking boy prostitute, with this fake garrote” and Trump being more than willing to believe it was all stagecraft.

    • redarmyzombie

      I dunno, I mean they already voted for Shitter Vitter…

    • SadDemInTex

      Let’s be clear… the pee thing was not a sexual thing. It was a defilement of a bed the Obamas slept in. So it is WORSE. It is racist hatred and revenge.

      • TJ Barke

        Still perverse.

        • SadDemInTex

          I’m quibbling, but I see perverse as something well outside the norm. The racist hatred and desire to humiliate and degrade someone is, sadly, all too normal these days.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Peein’ and stuff has been on Trump’s mind for a long time.

    Barron
    Ivanka
    Donald Jr.
    Eric
    Tiffany

    • anon_the_great

      Wow. Red pill time.

      • Boscoe

        Not on the level of Reince Priebus – vowels = RNC PR BS, but impressive nonetheless. ;)

    • amrak63

      You win 10,000 Internets for that one!

  • Joe Beese
  • Elendira

    Why, oh why, can I not find a MacDonald’s meme with DJTJ:

    Treason. I am Lovin’ it

  • george lastrapes

    Hand-in-hand go privilege and snivelege. How sweet to the ears is the whine of aggrieved entitlement!

  • WotsAllThisThen

    If this pee thing turns out to be true, that might wind up being my favorite thing about him.

  • JMP
  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    dammit, we just got away from vegan buttholes and now we’re back to pee.

  • Ricky Gay

    If you hanker for some impeechment, I’m thinking urine good company.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Some of these puns are even bladder than you can imagine.

      • Ricky Gay

        Sorry. It’s just such a golden opportunity!

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Make it rain!

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Fandom is SRS BUSINESS, yo.

    Star Trek vs. Star Wars argument leads to assault, arrest.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Is this the Star Trek Wars, or the Star Wars Trek?

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Yes.

    • Jennifer R

      There was a case in the late 90s of one Ultima Online player killing his friend in real life. His friend asked to see some sword the guy had in game and refused to give it back (this was years before anything worth picking up was soulbound on pickup in video games). So the guy drives over and kills him.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        I remember reading about that.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Good grief! And I thought the (ex)friend of mine who started stalking his former GM because she refused to continue the game was bad…
        (Ended in a restraining order and a campaign being nuked)

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      “The police report did not mention which side of the “Star Trek” vs. “Star Wars” debate each of the men argued.”

      How am I supposed to know who to root for???

      • Three Finger Salute

        I think Disney owns both, so either way it’s a draw.

        • amrak63

          No, Disney only owns SW. ST belongs to CBS/Paramount. (Ironically, ST originally aired on NBC.)

    • Three Finger Salute

      I guess I’m not as hardcore into the fandom(s) as they are. Why can’t you like both? I mean this guy obviously does —

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6150b8b67c5e7fde99a8049d0a27e76b1a6564b887b844907270f35caf7b6b00.jpg

      https://www.geeksaresexy.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/trudeau.jpg

    • C4TWOMAN

      Some of the comments are great:

      “This senseless nerd-on-nerd violence must stop.”
      “Is this a bad time to mention Battlestar Gallactica?”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    There has been no confirmation that Putin steadily fed information to Trump’s camp or that a Kremlin-controlled anti-Clinton dossier existed. But one of Steele’s overarching points in this memo was that Putin’s regime was funneling derogatory Clinton material to Trump. The Trump Jr. emails suggest that the Russian government was aiming to do that and that the Trump campaign was willing and eager to receive assistance from Putin. So Donald Trump Jr. has done what Steele could not: produce evidence that the Trump campaign was—or wanted to be—in cahoots with a foreign adversary to win the White House.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d5b5e6ef5b9b52b9386b222ffb9029c28d585c823b5ee38613ad40d31598c1e0.png

  • Lyly Sirivong

    I’ve missed Trevor Noah.
    https://youtu.be/ApX8fF8Ghcs

  • JMP

    MT just decided to switch to Fox “news” to see what they’re saying, and it’s – nothing; even the scroll is just ignoring Trump Jr.’s admissions of guilt.

  • mrFawkes

    FB post from a former classmate of trump Jr.

    As many of you know, I attended the University of Pennsylvania with Donald Trump Jr. I feel compelled to share this story before the election, in the hopes that it will shed a bit of light on the kind of person that Donald Trump is, and the kind of son that he raised.

    I was hanging out in a freshman dorm with some friends, next door to Donald Jr.’s room. I walked out of the room to find Donald Trump at his son’s door, there to pick him up for a baseball game. There were quite a few students standing around watching, trying to catch a glimpse of the famed real estate magnate. Don Jr. opened the door, wearing a Yankee jersey. Without saying a word, his father slapped him across the face, knocking him to the floor in front of all of his classmates. He simply said “put on a suit and meet me outside,” and closed the door.

    Donald Jr. was a drunk in college. Every memory I have of him is of him stumbling around campus falling over or passing out in public, with his arm in a sling from injuring himself while drinking. He absolutely despised his father, and hated the attention that his last name afforded him. His nickname was “Diaper Don,” because of his tendency to fall asleep drunk in other people’s beds and urinate. I always felt terrible for him.

    I am voting for Hillary Clinton for a number of reasons, her opponent notwithstanding. However, in light of what I saw that day, it is clear to me that Donald Trump lacks the temperament and basic social decency to run our country.

  • tehbaddr

    So much bad news for the rolling train wreck that is the Trump clan/administration everyday! How are these fuckers not being indicted yet?

    • tomamitai

      Because republicans control all three branches of the federal government and more than half of the state legislatures and governorships?

      • amrak63

        This. The Founders thought, with surprising naivete, that impeachment was remedy enough. They never expected that a majority would put party above country.

      • C4TWOMAN

        I’d say 2 and a half, but otherwise, yeh. this.

    • Marion in Savannah

      They’re Republicans.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      With them providing their own rope?

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Because Mueller has only been on the job 2 months and this shit takes time. We want him to get it right, and get it alllllllll.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • The Librarian

      Lmao funny!!

    • The Green Bastard

      Junior & the Giant imPeach

  • Ron Chowdhury

    At this point, people would shrug at the pee tape.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Leave it to Auntie Maxine to see the bright side of things:

    https://twitter.com/MaxineWaters/status/884894176432844800

  • Marion in Savannah

    Apologies if anyone has already posted this, but I couldn’t resist. While we were all having fun savaging Bobo I said that I hoped that Driftglass, Tengrain, or Charlie Pierce would address his POS in the Times today. Charlie Pierce has come through for us, and it’s glorious:

    http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/news/a56264/david-brooks-meat/

  • DainBramage
  • CountryClubJihadi

    100 years from now, our great-grandchildren can watch the pee tape on endless loop at the Newseum.

    • Joe Beese

      Future books to teach children about the Presidents will have a delicate task.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        The pooseum

        • h4rr4r

          Pisseum.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        And we thought Monica was awkward

    • mancityRed6

      it will be the only thing in the tRump presidential library.
      that, and about 1,000 copies of the art of the deal.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      The Trump Presidential Library will be a small but fascinating place.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    Fredo was smarter.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Wow, they are really getting desperate…

    https://twitter.com/kurteichenwald/status/884894368808697857

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      It was never about who the Republican candidate was. The Republicans could have run Lucifer. It was always about destroying Hillary Clinton. No more, no less.

      • amrak63

        Instead, the GOP ran Lucifer’s puppet.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          Lucifer, angel of light, says he had nothing to do with that thing. I wish I knew where to link, but the Orange Yam may have been the bungled attempt at creation by a noob Flying Spaghetti Monster.

      • ltmcdies

        It’s about destroying any opposition to the old and young white guys club who think the 1950’s was the epitome of American life
        …..i.e. Women in the kitchen, black people happy shining shoes with a Mexican gardener mowing the lawn

        That American never really was like that … not even on tge radar

    • ariel_gee_398

      Kayleigh McEnany – perhaps the only person worse for Harvard Law’s reputation than Ted Cruz.

    • mancityRed6

      this is the picture from the bump tweet:
      https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DEe8mY4XYAEZ4z4.jpg:large

  • Joe Beese

    National Review guesses it’s serious.

    To repeat, it now looks as if the senior campaign team of a major-party presidential candidate intended to meet with an official representative of a hostile foreign power to facilitate that foreign power’s attempt to influence an American election. Russian collusion claims are no longer the exclusive province of tinfoil-hat conspiracy theorists. No American — Democrat or Republican — should defend the expressed intent of this meeting.

    Going further, at long last we can now put to bed the notion that the Russia investigation is little more than frivolous partisan harassment, and it casts in an entirely different light the president’s fury and frustration at its continued progress. As recently as last week, it appeared that the “collusion narrative” had lost steam, and that the so-called “Russia scandal” had morphed into an attack on Donald Trump’s handling of the investigation, rather than the investigation itself. If you had told me last week that there existed an e-mail chain where a Trump contact explicitly tried to set up a meeting between a purported Russian official and the Trump senior team to facilitate official Russian efforts to beat Clinton, I’d have thought you’d been spending too much time in the deranged corners of Twitter.

    As of now, we should have zero confidence that we know all or even most material facts. We should have zero confidence that Trump’s frustration is entirely due to his feeling like an innocent man caught in the crosshairs of crazed conspiracy theorists. It now appears that his son, son-in-law, and campaign chair met with a lawyer who they were told was part of an official Russian government effort to impact the presidential election. The Russian investigation isn’t a witch hunt anymore, if it ever was. It’s a national necessity.

    http://www.nationalreview.com/node/449376/print

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Holy effing WHAT? That is in the National Review?!

      All right. Who let The Onion spike my reality?

      • (((fka_donnie_d)))

        On the (actual, extremely) bright side now we can absolutely demand that _any_ republican who does not oppose this asshole retire to the farm to raise cabbages and stfu and gtfo of our political process

    • mancityRed6

      “As recently as last week, it appeared that the “collusion narrative” had lost steam…”
      only in their fevered, partisan dreams did that happen.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        I got the “both sides do it” claim. My response of “then both sides should be in jail” was met with crickets.

      • hudson srinivasan

        exactly.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Translation: Dammit, we’d just about buried that inconvenient issue under a mountain of bullshit

    • Hemp Dogbane

      NR can fuck themselves sideways with whatever is at hand.

      • Creepoman

        Here, take my rusty chainsaw.

    • Michael Smith

      Damn. Wow. That is good to see. I’m left wondering how much sway a relatively intellectual conservative authority has on conservatives anymore however.

      • AJ Milne

        I do expect a good proportion of the alt wrong nutterverse will proceed to rant that them NRO guys were always globalist cucks anyway. But there are still people read and respect them.

        It’s the same old split starting to give again. Old guard Republican and ‘populists’ firmly committed to the cult of personality or just a general hatred of all things establishment. And this is a major reason the GOP will only be forced kicking and screaming to address administrative branch crimes, regardless of how egregious. They know they don’t lose the branch just because they eject a few too clumsy criminals, even one might be in the oval office. But they do fear that split.

    • You should ice that burn

      Posturing by organized asshats, nothing more.

      • Rags

        ‘No True Conservative’ as 4-5 becomes a speed bump under the bus.

        • You should ice that burn

          yup, if only he had been more conservative..

    • SadDemInTex

      It won’t stop their march to end the social safety net and give the .0001% tax cuts (or even make it so they never pay any income tax ever).

    • Paul

      Thanks Mr. B.

  • Claire

    Josh Marshall says that the news coming out over the last few days was as new to Mueller as it was to the rest of us:

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/this-is-important-4

    I bet he won’t be in the dark for long.

    • Notreelyhelping

      Jeez, then imagine the stuff they already have.

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    The pee tape being a thing would be geat on the merits of listening to Trump loyalists defend in on the tweeter.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      You know the Russkies have made it much worse. Think zoo animals…

  • jesterpunk
  • Covfefe

    The Russia has been giving Donald and his team valuable intelligence on his opponents, including Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton for several years. . . .

    Several years. Opponents including Hillary Clinton.

    Obvious other opponent is that guy from Florida who ran in the GOP primary. But that’s not “several years.”

    We’re the Russians giving Donald commercial intelligence on his other opponents for “several years?”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Not right now, eh? When would be good for you, then? The twelfth of never?

    https://twitter.com/maggieNYT/status/884883560074797057

    • Joe Beese

      UTAH PROUD

      “He’s a very nice young man,” Senator Orrin G. Hatch of Utah said of the president’s son, insisting that he was simply “very dedicated to his father” and suggesting that the controversy “could be way overblown.”

      The senator added that, in fact, it spoke well of the president that his children loved him so much even though “he divorced their mothers.”

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        That is shameful, even for Hatch.

      • bupkus231

        Yeah, and my dog loved me very much, even tho’ I took her to the vet once in a while. What a fuckin’ moran.

        Time to retire, shithead.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Okay, so a little light treason is fine if it’s in the service of family loyalty?
        At one point, these idiots at least pretended to be patriotic.

      • biologydave

        I love the commitment to the whole “sincerely held belief” thing from the right.

      • Hemp Dogbane

        Raising the left-handed compliment to a high art.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        LOLWUT?

    • Finnibar87

      They all came down with headaches at the same time.

  • Joe Beese

    Chuck P at his best:

    The government of the United States is a shambles. An incompetent administration headed by an unqualified buffoon is now descending into criminal comedy and maladroit backstabbing. It is an administration that not only self-destructs, but glories in the process. There seems to be no end to it, and no desire to end it by the people who actually have the power to do so. That, in itself, seems curious, and it probably should remind us all that Paul Ryan’s Super PAC was hip-deep in the borscht itself. Ryan, who really is the person best situated to close the circus down, seems to be afflicted with one of his periodic bouts of invisibility, poor lad.

    There’s a great unfolding treason now—not just the precise constitutionally defined treason, but a general betrayal of reason, of self-government, of honesty and of high office. They are now committing treason against themselves, grim betrayal winding around itself in coils ever tightening until there is nothing but the foul exhaling of the final breath of things that once belonged to better people than them.

    http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/news/a56258/donald-trump-jr-email/

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      We need a king. A return of… Wait. Can we get the Black Guy back?

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Michelle?

    • TJ Barke

      That was glorious.

    • Courser_Resistance

      That was really awesome. I just hope we all survive the clusterfuck. I’m terrified over what the west of the fuckweasles in Congress are going to shove through while the gettin’s good. Fucking Christ on a Unicycle!

  • bluicebank

    Inadvertently, Wonkette just identified another cathartic avenue to get this nation through the long, dark tea time of its soul (thanks for all the fish D. Adams):

    “… in the form of pee hooker video/audio/claymation re-enactment …”

    Claymation! My god you got it. Bring back Celebrity Deathmatch or some such. I need that old-timey stop motion bad theater, set for this administration’s antics, and I want it now.

    First Deathmatch should be Kellyanne “Crypt Keeper” Conway vs. Sarah “Sad Clown” Sanders. Then Uday vs. Qusay. Oh hell, throw all four in the ring together. Folding chairs allowed.

    The nation awaits.

    • Master Contrail Program

      Master Pee could be made from the same color of clay as Pokey, so there’s that.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        let the Brits have at it- Master Pee Theatre

      • vivian

        Master Pee’s Theatre isn’t what it used to was.

        • Master Contrail Program

          Though Pee BS(?) does seem to be a lot more mainstream lately.

    • Finnibar87

      America needs to be entertained!

    • Jennifer R

      If you like claymation and dick jokes I have the program for you!
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wik/Moral_Orel

      • bluicebank

        You tease. Unknown wiki link, Jennifer. Not cool.

        • h4rr4r

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moral_Orel

          Her link is missing the second i in wiki

        • Jennifer R
          • bluicebank

            Yes. I absolve you. ;-)

          • Jennifer R

            It’s a damn good show as well.

        • mancityRed6

          it’s good, and funny and on Hulu right now. I don’t know if they have the original claymation creations, but it’s the kid and the dog from a much older Christian show, Davey and Goliath.

          • Jennifer R

            Doug Stamatopoulos doesn’t really like the comparison to Davey and Goliath actually. He considers it to be a send up of Leave it to Beaver style sitcoms.

          • mancityRed6

            I’m just saying that Davy and Oral could be clones, is all.

      • wait! what?
        • Jennifer R

          For his followup Doug did a show in papercraft.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    This administration continues on its Bizzarro-world trajectory, and turns the meaning of the phrase “it’s just a wee problem” into the exact opposite.

    • Master Contrail Program

      There hasn’t been this much wee talk in the news since Nintendo’s big announcement 11 years ago!

  • WiscoJoe

    Donald Trump Jr. is McCarthy-ing himself! Auto-McCarthyism!

    (This comment is brought to you by The Nation or The Intercept, or one of those other lefty publications that isn’t Mother Jones.)

    • Lance Thrustwell

      That sounds kinky.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Isn’t that how David Carradine died?

        • hendenburg2

          If there was leather bondage gear involved it would be more Stephen Milligan

      • WiscoJoe

        It’s alright. Julian Assange gave him permission.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          the safe word is covfefe

    • bluicebank

      If it involves a plastic bag over his head … no, I should not have typed that.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Have to hit the road on this note, to paraphrase what Donald said in defense of his son today (the tl;dr is that he’s a high quality transparent dude):

    https://twitter.com/SeniorTeenager/status/884848410549002240

  • keinsignal

    The “several years” thing struck me. The dossier claims:

    Source A confided that the Kremlin had been feeding TRUMP and his team
    valuable intelligence on his opponents, including Democratic
    presidential candidate Hillary CLINTON, for several years… This was confirmed by Source D, a close associate of TRUMP who had
    organized and managed his recent trips to Moscow, and who reported, also
    in June 2016, that this Russian intelligence had been “very helpful”.

    Trump only announced his candidacy in, what, mid-2015? Not sure what “several years” means, but I think “more than two” is a reasonable interpretation (elsewhere the dossier states they’d been “cultivating and supporting” Trump “for at least five years”). Of course “opponents” may not refer exclusively to political opponents, but also business rivals or whoever else Donnie’d decided to pick a fight with over the years. Still, if true (and the dossier has three different sources confirming it) this suggests a much deeper level of planning and foresight than most of what’s currently in the news even hints at. It raises the distinct possibility that Russian intelligence not only cultivated Trump as an asset but may have pushed him into running for office in the first place. This wasn’t just Russia seeing an opportunity and seizing it, it was a long-term strategy to paralyze the US by clearing the way for their hand-picked buffoon to enter the White House.

    So, one interesting interpretation would be that the dossier has it right, and this is confirmation that DTjr broadcast the emails in part because this narrative – a one-off meeting that didn’t amount to much (despite being hella illegal on all kinds of counts) – is less damaging than the full story would be.

    • TJ Barke

      Probably was supposed to be more along the lines of cultivating him as an asset for seceral years.

    • keinsignal
    • Courser_Resistance

      I’ve been saying that they’ve been working on this bullshit for the entire 8 long years Obama was president. Both Putin and the GOP would do ANY-FUCKING-THING to get power back. They fucking knew they’d NEVER win another election without collusion with Russia.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Or, he may have been one of several people they were cultivating as assets. That would be another thread worth unraveling.

      • Ducksworthy

        Surely you don’t mean Mitch McTurtle. He belongs to China.Do you think they share?

      • keinsignal

        Oh they almost certainly had other eggs in other baskets – Manafort, Page, and Flynn leap to mind, though they were all likely viewed as conduits to some eventual candidate more than anything else. Would be very curious to know if there are other candidates or potential candidates who were approached.

    • Sophie McMillan

      I remember watching the Frontline thingy about trump and hillary and it mentioned that he has privately talked about running for POTUS since 2000. He had a failed early primary ( or some such thing)

  • Run2Live

    💯 a BP oil spill dead bird on his head. 💯 Priceless!

    “It’s possible Russia considered him a dumb idiot with a bad face and a BP oil spill dead bird on his head, and therefore useless.”

  • Claire

    I found this article while I was looking for something else. It’s on a Christian site, and I’m not sure I’ve seen a more effective or pointed argument against the idea that rural America is the only Real America.

    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/slacktivist/2017/03/01/come-claim-universal-generalities-peculiar-virtues/

    • Hemp Dogbane

      That’s my house, but it ain’t my truck,,,

    • mancityRed6

      I grew up in a smallish town (9k then, even less now) and hung out in a town that wasn’t even close to 4k quite a bit. and now I live in a suburb of a big city, so, yeah, I can offer my criticism because I’ve been in both and I know which one I prefer.

      • Claire

        I don’t think that was really the point of the article, but sure. I’ve lived in small towns, suburbs, and big cities too, and I won’t even drive through small towns if I can help it. They give me the creeps.

        • mancityRed6

          “The premise is that city folk know nothing about small-town folk, and yet that somehow small-town folk know everything about city folk.”
          I’ve listened to enough bad country music at jobs to know most of those songs.

        • redarmyzombie

          “But look at these lonely houses, each in its own fields, filled for the most part with poor ignorant folk who know little of the law. Think of the deeds of hellish cruelty, the hidden wickedness which may go on, year in, year out, in such places, and none the wiser.”

      • bluicebank

        Been there, too. Big city is for the young, but you have to be a bit picky on your small town, lest you find yourself an extra in a horror movie. Fortunately, my small town is so small and so damn hot in the summer that all we can work up is a hand wave. Plus, the out-of-towners passing through are usually very good looking young people. And they don’t fraternize, which is how we like it.

        • Three Finger Salute

          I confess, I’m young but I’m terrified of the city. Had to go there recently to accompany my mother to a medical appointment. The buildings were so big I started to get claustrophobic and disoriented, and feel a tightness in my chest. I think I may have been having an anxiety attack. A lot of graffiti, panhandlers and people sleeping rough in the area. It was, to be honest, both heartbreaking and scary.

          I’ve honestly never ventured more than 25 miles outside my own small town. Never been on an airplane, obviously. Like the John Mellencamp song I will probably die here, and it’s probably where they’ll bury (or cremate) me.

          I posted here recently about how close-knit the residents are and suspicious of anything that seems out of routine, so much so that if you’re known to not be a nurse, cop or first responder, something as simple as going to McDonald’s at 3am is considered rebellious and arouses suspicion because people think you’re on drugs.

          That being said, I’ll take the relative dead quiet of flyover country over big-city life any time, politics notwithstanding. The thought of sharing any form of transportation with strangers — and it not being a vehicle with doors you can lock — actually gives me a chill down my spine. Needless to say, I don’t trust people at all, and I probably score a 0 on that “openness to experience” personality metric.

          • bluicebank

            It’s an acquired taste, TFS. I was a kid in a city, then grew up in a small town. My career took me into cities again. But this is Southern California, though I’ve been to NOLA, Chicago and SF and skipped through Boston. As well, I’ve gone through small towns that scared the shit out of me. Like that one time I got lost in a Tule fog and found myself in Earlimart, CA, and they didn’t give a shit that I was Calif. boy, because sure as shit “you ain’t from around these parts.”

            But so done with cities. Too old for that.

          • h4rr4r

            Really?
            I am fascinated by that situation. My 3 year old has been to another continent, I am not on the same continent I was born on. My closest family members are a hundred miles away the next closest are 1500 miles away.

            How is this possible? How does a small town like that and a 25 mile radius have everything you need or want? How did you make sure to get a job so close?

    • Ducksworthy

      Yeah. Rural (White) people Care about their families. Other (urban) people not so much. Reminds me of the often cited belief during Vietnam that “your oriental doesn’t value human life like we do.”

      • Claire

        Yeah, it’s the same argument. Only white rural Christians are human; everyone else is just a bunch of savages who can’t understand our White Man’s Burden or our profound moral sophistication.

  • Joe Beese
    • mancityRed6

      let’s just move the bar…no, not there…here…no, here.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Cash-flow from the Rubes is easier/gooder.

      • WiscoJoe

        Greenwald doubles down on the Orwellian doublespeak.

        Scare quotes FTW.

        Gee, it’s almost as if his entire shtick has never been in good faith…

        • Joe Beese

          He’s done a lot of important work over the years. Nothing will ever change that.

          But he has some insane blind spot on this issue. He’s become the equivalent of the Fifties socialists who tried to defend Stalin.

        • OutOfOrbit

          I know. Hard to trust anybody. For awhile I even thought we has lost TRMS.

    • WiscoJoe

      I’d attempt a close reading of Greenwald’s rhetoric, but why bother? It pretty much translates to “I’m right, you’re wrong, shut up that’s why.”

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Much depends on whether money changed hands, or personal gain was involved. We know the Russians spy on us, just like we spy on them, but if a US Citizen receives information collected by Russian spies and uses it for personal gain, they would be “colluding” – sort of like the person who receives stolen goods is an accessory to theft.

      • laineypc

        I heard the legal case will be about campaign finance law breakages.

    • Ducksworthy
      • Snopes Shop

        I’m half blind, what is this photo?

        • Ducksworthy

          Jill Stein, Mike Flyn and Vlad the Impaler.

          • Snopes Shop

            thanks

    • JMP

      He’s always been a self-important blowhard, it was just hard to notice back during the Bush years when he was aiming at targets who deserved it. But once Obama set American foreign policy back on a sane path and yet he kept shrieking “Obama is exactly as bad as Bush!”, it became clear he didn’t care at all for actual reality but just to constantly fight against the establishment, whether it deserved it or not, and feeding his own ego and sense of purity. And that was before he decided to start working with the anti-democratic propagandist and rapist Julian Assange, and follow him into become a puppet of Vladimir Putin promoting far-right propaganda.

      • amrak63

        You spelled Assmange’s name wrong. ;)

    • Mark Simkulet

      Ugh… 85% of Greenwald’s writing since the election seems to be him just waving his arms and shouting “Nothing to see here, folks! Move along!”

  • Jennifer R

    I finally followed someone who posts porn right to my twitter timeline.
    I finally understand.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      If I was ever on a Hub or Hamster. .. I might have been tempted to share, but even drunk had the sense not to. If I evah…

      • Jennifer R

        I think it’s fun to put up lewd or sexual pictures of one’s self. I don’t do it directly here on wonkette obviously, but I added a new photo to fetlife like 2 days ago.

      • Jon Sussex

        Skwerl on Hamster. Hmmm. That just leaves the question about the gerbil.

    • marxalot

      Any good? If so share handle plz.

      • Jennifer R

        Depends on if you like the idea of someone in a full body latex puppy suit suspected in a sex swing, being jerked off?

        • h4rr4r

          Only suspected?

          • Jennifer R

            Suspended.

        • marxalot

          Meh, being allergic to latex really puts a crimp in my ability to enjoy that sort of thing even vicariously.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Huh, I thought Preacher just made that up.

          • Jennifer R

            You must be new to he internet.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            Well, it’s less surprise that something that exists is on the internet, and more that something exists in the first place. Just don’t see the appeal, but different strokes, no judgment etc..

          • Three Finger Salute

            Rule 34

          • Jennifer R

            it’s liberating a the short answer.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Ach, dear old German porn!

  • SayItWithOtters

    Adopting the bored sophisticate’s pose is getting more and more embarrassing:

    “The most far-fetched claim of all was that the Trump campaign could have colluded with the Russian government. … the notion of actual attempts to work together seemed implausible to even many of Trump’s harshest critics—a liberal fever dream at best, a return to McCarthyist red-baiting at worst.”

    LOL.

    https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2017/07/and-it-was-all-true/533265/

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      tick, tock

      drip, drip

    • JMP

      But there was tons of evidence pointing to collusion, so it was not implausible at all; and the comparison of pointing to the likelihood of this collusion to red baiting is both completely asinine and out of touch with reality, and a great insult to the actual victims of McCarthyism.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Bothsiderism is a hell of a drug- the withdrawal is particularly unpleasant

  • Joe Beese
    • bupkus231

      Really? Eric, I can understand – but Farage is really one sick dick for trying to stand up for these assholes.

      But, then again, I guess we knew that….

      • Kooolest G

        farage is also trying to save his own skin, remember what he told assange when he went to visit him at the ecuadorian embassy? yeah he doesn’t either

    • Sophie McMillan

      Farage has become obsolete in the UK so he tried to stay relevant in the hope they will finally give him a faux Noise job.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Hey, the family who does the crime together does the time together.

      • bluicebank

        From your lips to god’s ears.

    • Panika MCD

      the family that treasons together stays together!

    • janecita

      Poor sad, fugly Eric, he needs to stfu right about now.

    • Lori

      When people telling the truth about you feels like a vicious attack it’s past time to reexamine your life choices.

      Also, the fact that Uday & Qusay & the hawt one and her Ken doll of a husband are a bunch of greedy ass-kissers who will say anything to keep their names in the will is unlikable, but it’s not the main reason people are talking about them.

    • laineypc

      “…in the business.” Interesting choice of words. Like there is a business of public support for Trump. Like you can get paid for it.

    • hudson srinivasan

      looks he’s freaking out ‘coz he could be next

  • mrFawkes

    Heated father/son exchange from the oval Office today…

    Trump Sr: Urine big trouble
    Trump Jr: Urine trouble too dad
    Trump Sr: No, urine bigly trouble.
    Trump: Jr: How bigly?
    Trump Sr: Yuuuge.
    Trump Jr: Can I blame it on the black guy?
    Trump Sr: Good boy, now send in Bannon.

  • anon_the_great

    My God, Trump and his minions are characters in a Christopher Guest mocumentary

    • vivian

      …and we are the extras.

    • biologydave

      Then where’s Parker Posey?

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        *sigh* Parker Posey

        • marxalot

          Fun fact: I used to date her cousin.

      • Anna Rompage

        She wouldn’t take the job, so they got Melania to fill in for her…

        • biologydave

          Jane Lynch for KAC?

          • WomanInThePersistence

            That would be glorious!

    • DainBramage
      • Panika MCD

        CORKY! WE LOVE YOU! WE WANT YOU TO LIVE!!!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Well Trump and his minions certainly put on one helluva shitshow.

      https://youtu.be/Vsan7soCFsU

    • Lori

      Guest’s idiots are usually at least somewhat sympathetic and are always funny. The Trumps are unlikable Coen brothers characters.

  • Ducksworthy

    Did Trump and Putin conspire to create the opioid epidemic? Would Republicans find that objectionable?

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Well they did conspire to fake the birth certificate

    • Notreelyhelping

      Or injectable?

      • Crank Tango

        I don’t suppository they’d mind.

    • calliecallie

      I believe that was Big Pharma’s doing.

    • Panika MCD

      most of the black market opioids come through China…from Taliban controlled areas.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        That’s only because they can’t grow cotton….

        • Panika MCD

          not really. apricots and almonds grow well there. it’s Taliban intimidation.

  • Ezio
    • Three Finger Salute

      And if the apocalypse doesn’t arrive, you’re really screwed.

      I broke even with college. State U transfer, with Pell Grants and scholarships from getting high marks at junior college, also the in-state tuition discount. No debt.

      But no job either.

      • Ezio

        There’s a program in my state which offers free tuition to students whose families earn less than 100k a year but I haven’t heard back from them yet. (July 21st is the deadline).

        • h4rr4r

          If this is NY state is that AGI or what?

          • Ezio

            Yes. It’s called the excelsior scholarship.

          • h4rr4r

            Great program either way, but the media never makes it clear what number gets used. 100k AGI can be a lot more than 100k gross.

  • WiscoJoe

    You guys, there’s no way Trump Jr. colluded with the Russians, because Julian Assange contacted him directly to tell him so!

  • BMW

    Okay, but I have it on good authority that this is all fake news. It doesn’t matter if Trump’s people keep getting caught and admitting stuff they previously denied…it’s all fake news!

    • bluicebank

      I planted that story, and I’m sticking by my bullshit.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      All news is fake news. Everything is fake news. Nothing is real.

      We are all just brains sitting on pedestals in the middle of the inky blackness of space imagining all of this shit. And fuck the bastard who dropped the acid in our nutrient solution.

  • eastcoastlib

    So when Trump said ” could be Russia, could be other countries, no one really knows”
    That was a lie right?

    What’s most interesting to me is the one player in this drama who holds all the cards. Putin knows exactly what happened, when it happened, who knew what and when and can release this information either all at once or in pieces whenever he chooses. He literally made Trump president and he can dethrone him at any time if he chooses to do so. Does anyone else think this might be a problem?

    • bluicebank

      Somewhere in the world, there’s a 400-pound hacker eating cheetos in his mother’s basement wondering what the fuck he did to offend Cheeto el Grande. No respect.

    • Joe Beese

      Even Putin can not remove Trump without the cooperation of Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell.

      • Lori

        That probably depends on your definition of “remove.” If I was Donnie I wouldn’t eat anything that a Russian had even looked at.

        Also, what happens if someone like the NYC DA finds evidence that the orange one is guilty of something criminal? Does he have to wait to indict until after Congress impeaches?

        • h4rr4r

          He should wait, not gonna get jail time otherwise.

      • eastcoastlib

        McTurtle and his boy Robin don’t lead, they follow. I know it will take a lot but Putin is about the only one who has the ability to push this past the tipping point.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      No, because if Twitler goes to jail he probably will feel safe enough to stop paying the oligarchs back.

    • Panika MCD

      this is why Putin never visits Washington, DC.

  • Master Contrail Program

    Republicans need a higher burden of proof than Dave Chapelle needed for R.Kelly apparently. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cd143345e8e0e7adfa3be3298027af210cf16e3d4677286ec7081cb04909e4bf.jpg

  • Randy Riddle

    A curious point – if, as the memo states, the Russians had been courting McGrabby for five years, that would make their first approach to him in 2011, right?

    In early 2011, Trump publicly announced interest in running for President in 2012 and pollsters in March found him leading Romney for the nomination by one point. Other polls found him polling close to Obama about that time. That same month, Trump started his whole Obama “birth certificate” thing.

    Putin was prime minister at the time and the man seen as “calling the shots”. In 2010, Obama negotiated an arms reduction treaty with then President Dmitry Medvedev and, in 2012, Putin worked his way into his job as President of Russia.

    Trump has been involved in money deals with the Russia for thirty years, going back to the days of the Soviet Union.

    Time reported in 2013 that the Obama and Romney campaigns, as well as the GOP, faced sophisticated attacks from “foreign powers” for the first time in August 2011.

    http://swampland.time.com/2013/05/07/obama-romney-campaigns-subject-to-repeated-hacking-attempts-in-2012/

    The timeline of this starts to make sense, with Putin positioning himself to fully take over as President of Russia and meddle in US elections to get an administration favorable to his point of view.

    In 2011-2012, Putin was looking at a tough negotiator in Obama, who was willing to talk; an opposing candidate in Romney who was cool to even negotiating with them; and a wildcard GOP candidate in Trump that not only had deep business ties to Russian oligarchs, but a bullshitting campaign style that would be easy to manipulate with half-truths and lies.

    Trump didn’t prove to be a strong candidate in 2012, but Putin likely saw someone he could work with in Trump in a future election.

    • ⭐️Most Accurate Poster 2017⭐️

      Trump has been owned by Russia since at least as far back as the 90s.

  • Jennifer R

    Prepare your sadded trombone ever.
    Muller didn’t know about the donnie Jr emails until they were put in the news.

    • marxalot

      Truly, when this admin is buried, cause of death will be “self-inflicted gsw.”

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Considering the sheer contortions the maladministration is going through to destroy themselves, I wouldn’t be surprised that the “self-inflicted gsw” will consist of several rounds in the back of the head from various distances.

        • Jennifer R

          And calibers and directions.

        • eastcoastlib

          I have full confidence that Trey Gowdy’s investigation will be fair and impartial.

          • BoatOfVelociraptors

            Like his hairdo?

          • tinker12

            Hairdo that makes his head look like a ripe zit.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      You never expect the stupid.

      • Panika MCD

        NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION STUPID DYNASTY!

    • Lori

      The probably didn’t have any reason to look until now. It’s not like Jr is such a player in the tRump administration that he’d be an investigative priority.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Trump has kept him away from the day to day operations. Maybe for exactly this reason. If you’re too dumb for Donald you really are dumb.

        • Jennifer R

          Jared is the brains of the outfit so that bar was already really low.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            As I have been saying: The bar is so low now that it’s in a geosynchronous orbit over the Indian Ocean.

          • Panika MCD

            I thought he was Nicolas II and Bannon was Rasputin…

    • Jenny

      They like that money laundering part a lot more, I bet.

      • h4rr4r

        That when proven, I think will finally get us an impeachment.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Well, now Mueller does know about them. And he will begin digging from there. Goodness knows he was already waist deep in a rich damning evidence environment.

    • jesterpunk

      See how stupid the Trump family is and how bad at committing crimes they are? They give the prosecutor information he didnt know about admitting to committing a serious crime.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        The Trump family is sure helpful, aren’t they?

        The degree of derp in that family is breathtaking, indeed! Staggering!

        • eastcoastlib

          Tiffany is moving up the depth chart

      • Panika MCD

        the family that stupidlies together is not a idiot! THEY ARE MANY!!!

    • JMP

      GOB’s made a huge mistake again.

    • Three Finger Salute

      “The Price is WRONG, Donnie.”

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Jz1TjCphXE

    • bluicebank

      One could forgive a G-man like Mueller to only expect to run down suspects through paper trails, dark alleys, and the backroom bare-bulb treatment. One does NOT expect the perp to lay the evidence at your feet and confess.

  • ibwilliamsi

    Sounds like it might be time for Trump to hit the golden showers and call it a day.

    • theCryptofishist

      His own kind of victory lap.

  • azeyote

    no one can really believe how stupid these idiots actually are – it’s the only thing keeping them out of jail –

    • Panika MCD

      Bannon can. so can Pooty Poots. they just made a mistake when they thought they were the useful variety.

  • Jennifer R
  • Ryan Denniston

    Code yellow. Heh. Mor like code red!

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      No, that’s a different kink.

    • jesterpunk

      So they where bleeding out of their whatever?

      • Anna Rompage

        Watering the tree of liburtee again?

    • Panika MCD

      no pee hooker! no pee hooker! YOU’RE THE PEE HOOKAH!!!

  • crisptickle

    the pee pee tape is already out! Just play the crappy “music” video with Emin backwards………….

  • Joe Beese

    Fredo and Russian Mob Lawyer Lady both say that no Hillary dirt was exchanged.

    But what if they’re both lying? I’m not sure we can trust them.

    • bluicebank

      This is going to be the worst Tom Clancy novel ever written.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Really more like an Onion version of a Tom Clancy novel.

        • Panika MCD

          people read the Onion. they don’t read Tom Clancy.

          • h4rr4r

            Disqus broken, unable to upfist many times.

            I will shamefully admit to read Tom Clancy at 12, but I got better.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            his early stuff was mildly fun airplane reading, then it got worse, much worse

          • h4rr4r

            Last one I read was Clear and Present Danger. They got worse after that?

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            they started to read like written descriptions of bad video games

          • h4rr4r

            The video games started great and are now just generic action games. It used to be they were tactical and high stakes, now you can absorb half a magazine of ammo.

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        Not nearly enough model numbers of the equipment to be a Clancy joint.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          the hookertron 3000

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        and that’s saying something, considering how trite and formulaic his later novels became

  • Three Finger Salute

    Drumpf ist Herr Goebbels für die Lebensunwertes leben und die Untermenschen.
    (Trump is Herr Goebbels for the “life unworthy of life” and the “lesser people.”)

    Aktion T45: “Trumpcare” could force at least 4 million special-needs children to be institutionalized due to Medicaid cuts enabling them to live at home with families

    Das Reich wird eine endgültige Lösung für das verkrüppelte Kinderproblem haben!
    (The Reich will have a Final Solution for the crippled children problem!)

  • Scooby

    I have a feeling that the pee tape will be the least incriminating thing that comes out.

    • yyyaz

      And his dopey minions won’t care about any of it.

      • Scooby

        Yea, they will say at lest he watched chicks pee.

        • Panika MCD

          no chick pea! no chick pea! YOU’RE THE TABOULI!

    • Thiazin Red

      The pee pee tape, while personally embarrassing for him, isn’t really relevant to governing.

      • Suttree

        Neither are blowjobs, but we have seen how that turns out.

      • Courser_Resistance

        I really want to see him be humiliated and embarassed, but I don’t think it’d do the trick. I don’t care about the tape so much as how it demonstrates what a small, petty bully he is

      • TJ Barke

        It’s bad if it’s under aged girls or Ivanka lookalikes.

        • C4TWOMAN

          I’ve been suspecting underage hookers were the real scandal–possibly even Trump didn’t know, but who would believe him?

      • Spurning Beer

        If he’s being blackmailed by Russia, that’s pretty relevant.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Also, supply side Jesus already forgave him, and nobody’s perfect, so fundagelicals will be ok.

      • Opalescent Riddles

        It’s not whether you or I think it’s a big deal, it’s whether *trump* thinks it’s a big deal, i.e. could he withstand the blow to his ego. He probably can’t, Putin knows this, therefore it is kompromat.

    • Suttree

      With the advent of internet porn, no one finds it strange anymore.

      • Panika MCD

        also too: the advent of R. kelly.

        • BoatOfVelociraptors

          True story: The winner of a Rule 34 contest at a convention was literally the letter “R”.

      • eastcoastlib

        This is why we have rule 34

    • Canis Greyhame

      It’s the blackmail element that counts.

    • canes_pugnaces

      Maybe, but at least he’ll finally be able to marry Ivanka.

      • eastcoastlib

        He’d have to move to Alabama where they allow that sort of thing

  • weejee
  • canes_pugnaces

    So let me understand this:

    The Steele dossier is a fake news fraud fake dossier;
    Mini Me was trying to adopt kids from Russia;
    Orange slime mold was just kidding about Russia, and never met Papa Putin; and,
    No puppet. No puppet. You’re the puppet.

    Do I have it correctly?

    • jesterpunk

      That was yesterday, try and keep up now Jr tweeted that he met with Russian people to get intel to use against Hillary because Russia wanted to help Trump.

    • vivian

      You forgot to carry the umlaut and divide by pi.

      • Saxo the Grammarian

        Are canned clams involved? If they are, I’m out of here.

        • Rasilom

          Those Monsters!

      • Rasilom

        Now that is an irational number if ever I have seen one.

  • mrFawkes
    • Panika MCD

      looks like a Bannon movie trying to look like a Cohen bros movie.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I really want to see that picture of Bannon painted to look like Napoleon. I also hope someone does a parody version.

  • janecita
    • C4TWOMAN

      Burn.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos
  • tomamitai

    Don’t know if this is from THAT Hugh Grant, but here it is:
    https://twitter.com/HackedOffHugh/status/884759556001345536

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      got the check mark…

    • amrak63

      “A picture is worth 1,000 words.”

    • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

      Anyone who would kill an elephant …. jesus fuck the commenting rules don’t even begin to contemplate my thoughts.

  • Reximus

    Isn’t it possible that the peepee hookers simply didn’t know Trump’s face wasn’t the toilet…just an honest mistake?

    • Panika MCD

      it was supposed to land on the bed that Bamz and Michelle slept on as retribution for the WHCD…not that they were going to sleep there again or anything. Tsarina Tic Tacs don’t revenge so well.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Shy, did you just change the website? Where’s my ‘olds’ header?

  • Covfefe

    Jesus says you’re supposed to pray for your enemies. They’re all in my thoughts and prayers.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I can’t help but notice that you are unspecific what exactly you are thinking about them. And what you’re praying for.

      • Rasilom

        Ima guessin not prayin or thinkin anything good…

  • hudson srinivasan
  • jesterpunk
  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    My worst fear about the peepee tapes:

    That it turns out the finest Russian hookers are not doing the peepeeing, but instead, it’s the 400lb guy from his bed in New Jersey.

    • jesterpunk

      That would be even better and make the Evangelicals hate him.

      • BosGrl

        Is abortion still legal in this scenario, because if so, they will tolerate the pee hookers.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          that’s the sad truth- the evangelicals already sold their souls for abortion repeal and ghey/slut shaming. They’ll excuse ANYTHING as long as they get that

          • Three Finger Salute

            Don’t forget killing Muslims for Jesus so that Nazi Jesus can come home from college and kill all the Jews.

    • Rasilom

      YOU BASTARD!!! You now owe me 1500 gallons of brain bleach. I’m not sure that that will be enough, but there need to be limits.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Chris Crisco strikes again…

    • theCryptofishist

      Imagine how long of a urine tube it would take him to pee on a Russian bed.

  • Michael Smith

    I’d love to know if there’s some central strategy paper in Russia somewhere that explains what they hope to gain from this and how it fits in with other intelligence operations. I want to know if there’s a big centralized plan or if their intelligence people just have a standing order to go out and destabilize everything they possibly can. I feel like there’s a Petyr Littlefinger Baelish out there (Putin) who just believes chaos is a ladder.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      It’s really a win win. On one side you have an idiot stooge in power, on the other, you delegitimize and destabilize American democracy.

      • Michael Smith

        That’s what it looks like to me, though sometimes I wonder if I have a kind of reverse nationalcentrism where I believe other countries behave much more rationally than we do.

        • Three Finger Salute

          That’s not a “theory.” It’s a fact. The U.S. has been Drunk Uncle practically since its founding.

          • Nockular cavity

            *Ahem* Third Reich Dreyfuss affair Cultural Revolution Mussolini Khemer Rouge WWI Belgian Congo Stalinist purges Rape of Nanking *Ahem*

            There’s always a lot of brutal and stupid around, everywhere.

          • Michael Smith

            Yeah I mean it certainly looks that way to me.

    • JoeChristmas

      Swindler IC thrives on chaos too. Who the fuck is involved with 4,000 lawsuits?

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      They were expecting a compliant deep state. We aren’t built that way.

    • theCryptofishist

      I think they caught some sort of tiger by the tail. And that is probably the last time I will ever implicitly, potentially, refer to DT as a tiger.

      • BackDoorMan

        … make it a rabid tiger and you pretty much nailed it.

  • Count Awesome

    The Russian pee hookers is where “covfefe” had to have started.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      It means coffee that has been turned into pee

      • theCryptofishist

        Oh, like that civet cat thing.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          So is that coffee considered vegan?

          Asking for a friend’s butthole…

  • OK. Now who else said they didn’t have any meetings with Russia.
    https://media0.giphy.com/media/12N9oPAlLIt5Mk/200_d.gif#94

  • OrG

    Up ’til now I’ve been whatevs on the pee-hooker tapes, but now I really want them to exist.

    • TootsStansbury

      But i will not click. Ever. Cannot unsee!

      • OrG

        I didn’t say I wanted to SEE it.

        • OutOfOrbit

          It was implied..

        • Rasilom

          I want to see Fux Noise run it on prime time and try to explain that the high def.video is faked.

  • BoatOfVelociraptors
    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      That goalpost better slow down real quick before it sails right over the side of the Titanic!

    • JoeChristmas

      There are goalposts at Trump U. stadium?

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        In the plans. The stadium is lacking contractors

    • Joe Beese

      I feel so much more relaxed now that I feel no obligation to defend Glenn on this shit.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        welcome to the club- lots of people used to respect and admire GG once upon a time, until he chased us all away with his bullshit

    • BreakingDeadMen

      OMG, if I was sexually aroused by schadenfreude I would be unable to type right now.

  • Shanzgood
    • Panika MCD

      you’re giving us all diabetes now.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Wonk Love

      • Shanzgood

        He brought his own barf bag.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Yinz have fun, now.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Baconz!

    • BosGrl

      You have fun, you crazy kidz!

      • Shanzgood

        You know when you have a fun time going grocery shopping and cooking together and washing up after and then snuggling on the couch watching a movie?

        Yeah, that.

        • PigsDoFly

          I like that. And I didn’t hardly play grab ass in the store.

    • Snopes Shop

      Hey now

    • TootsStansbury

      He will add only the very best bacon.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      No, I’m not envious. Not at all. Why do you ask?

      And he obviously is fine with your kitchen.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Around these parts we pronounce fajita a little different, I guess.

    • DainBramage

      Is that what the kids are calling it now?

      • Shanzgood

        Yes, that’s what we call fajitas.

    • theCryptofishist

      Dang, that’s a cute face.

      • Shanzgood

        Yes, it is!

    • Nockular cavity

      Are bacon fajitas a thing?

      • Shanzgood

        Don’t tell, but he likes his veggies, too, and knows how to cook them!

  • Panika MCD

    gah. wat a steaming pile of libtards! can’t you dolts SEE that Banana Runtz–which is the BEST FLAVOR because Emporer Trump has THERE BEST PEEPLE!–is being a TRUE PATRIOT by showing the treason he DID NOT DO, but would have put a TAPP on to find all the LEAKERS?!!!?11?!!ELEVENTY????1! obliviously, you COMMIES haven;t done your reesetch! Typical!!$ nixed you Shills will tell me the EARTH IS FLAT! how much does Soros pay you 4 that@?

    • TootsStansbury

      Careful! Your brain could stick like that.

      • Panika MCD

        I cover the TX lege. my brain is teflon coated…except when Shanz and baconz are being too fucking cute!

        • OutOfOrbit

          You said it! (re the “‘zgood”s)

    • starfanglednut

      Well done! Reminds me of Pinkham’s unhinged Bernie bro.

  • Joe Beese

    A little chop-socky justice comin’ your way!

    https://twitter.com/seanhannity/status/884909626277466112

    • Now reporting the news is abuse? Donald Trumps Jr. and Sr. are battered men?

      • Mehmeisterjr

        I don’t know about battered but it looks like they are about to be fried.

    • OrG

      Haha! Lumpy has a sad.

    • BosGrl

      “LEAVE. DONALD. ALONE!”

    • jesterpunk

      So Mueller didnt know about the emails until Jr twatted them now he is going to talk about it with Lumpy? Please proceed to dig that hole even deeper.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Shorter Sean Hannity: “If I have to pull over, you’re in BIG TROUBLE!”

  • Joe Beese

    Fight the power, Raheem.

    Raheem Kassam, editor-in-chief of Breitbart London, reacted to the story of Donald J. Trump’s newly-released emails in a way that wouldn’t typically be expected from someone at the far-right outfit, which is a reliable supporter of President Trump.

    “So like, this is straight up collusion,” he wrote in the news outlet’s internal Slack, according to a transcript of the conversation obtained by CNN. “Right?”

    http://money.cnn.com/2017/07/11/media/right-wing-media-donald-trump-jr-emails-russians/index.html

    • jesterpunk

      Damn even Dead Breitbart’s home for misplaced Nazis thinks this is bad.

      • starfanglednut

        If W’s ethics guy thinks it’s bad, it’s bad.

    • Three Finger Salute

      “Yer fired” -Bannon

    • theCryptofishist

      Okay, I’m flirting with racism here, but that seems like a name from the Middle East. So, Breitbart hired him? And isn’t that question along with his questionable ancestry mean he only gets one strike before he’s out? It just seems a little incongruous to me. Still, I guess anyone can be a race-traitor if one chooses. Free will and all.

    • Angry Red Bird DGAF

      Jesus.

  • Joe Beese
    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Like, I dunno, NOT HAVING IT IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?

      • Joe Beese

        More like, “If I’d known my brother-in-law would hang me out to dry, I wouldn’t have invited him into the conspiracy in the first place.”

        • theCryptofishist

          Those are all good ideas, but there’s something… I haven’t put my finger on it yet…

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        maybe report to the FBI a potential attempt by a hostile foreign government to try to interfere in our elections?

    • h4rr4r

      Breaking news: Criminal deeply regrets getting caught and regrets admitting guilt in public even more.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      “I would not have gotten caught.”

      • mailman27

        Would have gone for “just the tip.”

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Would have settled for just one underage pee-hooker.

  • Major_Major_Major

    What’s the over/under on the number of fellow Trumpkins dragged down by Dribbledick McTaintweasel JR’s revelations? I’m leaning towards AOT,K.

    • Rasilom

      Hahahaha. You said Dribbledick McTaintweasle. I cast my vote that that be Jr’s moniker from now on.

    • theCryptofishist

      Ah, you’re a cock eyed optimist. I like that in a pair of dogs fucking.

    • OrG

      Of course.

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      So, which team is bringing the tranq darts and radio collars?

      • Major_Major_Major

        Why not both?

    • BosGrl

      FFS. There are not SIDES in this, Betsy!

    • Rasilom

      In related newz Fox to meet with chickens over multiple recent chicken deaths. More at 11:00.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      It’s basically “colleges cannot investigate any claims of sexual assault. That’s a police matter, so police should handle it.”
      It conveniently ignores that the police suck at investigating campus crimes, especially sexual assault, and in some cases actively cover them up. But it’s all part of her planned demolition of Title IX.

      • h4rr4r

        Colleges like covering them up too! Makes the crime stats better.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Don’t want to lose out on mommy and daddy’s tuition money.

        • Opalescent Riddles

          If you want to see some shitty investigation, just throw it to the various amateur “sleuth” administrators that a campus might employ. The police have better methods and better technology to investigate these particular matters. So, DeVos, like a stopped clock, could be right for a brief period in this one case. Let the academics investigate the academic “crimes” of plagiarism and other such things.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        In police’s defense the know the crime happened they just can’t prove it beyond a reasonable doubt…. I can go intonthe reasons, but the Worst a college can do is expel you.

    • DainBramage

      Gotta make sure the fratbros get away with their youthful indiscretions rapes.

    • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

      Trumpworld.

    • Thiazin Red

      Why not? This is the logical conclusion to the dumb shit idea that every issue has two equal sides. I mean one side says that we should make it easier to help rape victims, and the other thinks women are evil lying gold digging whores and is rape really even so bad, being accused is totally worse. Teach the controversy

    • theCryptofishist

      Trickle down puss-grabbing

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Actually she’s going to discuss ethics in gaming journalism.

    • Iam Reading

      Rupugnant and tone deaf AF. Betsy DeVos is of gender traitor

    • Canis Greyhame

      Oh jesus fucking christ. You don’t legitimize rape apologists! I don’t even … I just … I can’t anymore.

  • Blender_415

    Until I see the tape on TMZ, it ain’t there. LET IT RAIN! LET THE GOLDEN SHOWERS RAIN DOWN UPON ALL OF THEM!!!

    (sorry, I’m still very excited about the pee hooker tape)

    • jesterpunk

      You can watch it then deliver a report for the rest of us. Deal?

    • Msgr_MΩment
    • BreakingDeadMen

      I can take about an hour on the tower of power

    • mailman27

      You and me both. I’m not apologizing. We’ve put up with this crap for 170+ days, and pee hookers are not too much to ask for.

  • Me The People
    • Latverian Diplomat

      Good thing you provided a link, otherwise, the natural response would be, “could you be more specific?”

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Thanks for the tip.

      Interesting things I learned from the Guardian about Rhodri Philipps, the 4th Viscount St Davids:

      “Philipps – who also holds the titles Lord Hungerford, Lord de Moleyns, and Lord Strange of Knockin – insisted he is not racist.”

      I also learned from the photograph that he looks more smug than Don Jr, Eric and Jared all rolled together.

      • Nockular cavity

        He’s every bit as handsome, too!

    • ahughes798

      Definitely the winner of this year’s “Upper Middle Class Twit of the Year” contest.

  • Panika MCD

    alright, taking the Wampus to her Wild Rumpus. hopefully, cute dog dad will show.

  • Joe Beese

    And isn’t the Spirit of Inquiry the foundation of humanity’s greatest achievements?

    Donald Trump Jr. on Tuesday offered his first defense since releasing his emails arranging a meeting with a Kremlin-linked lawyer in June 2016 to receive damaging information on Hillary Clinton as part of what he was told was a Russian government effort to aide Donald Trump’s campaign: He just wanted to see what would happen.

    “These are going a million miles an hour again,” Trump Jr. said in a preview of an interview with Fox News’ Sean Hannity set to air Tuesday night. “And, hey, wait a minute, I’ve heard about all these things, but maybe this is something, I should hear them out.”

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/donald-trump-jr-says-wanted-to-hear-out-russian-intel

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      That’s a “defense” in the same way the Maginot Line was a “defense”.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        French army libelz!

        • theCryptofishist

          Belgium libelz, also, too.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        I dunno. Someone at least put some thought into the Maginot Line.

      • TootsStansbury

        I don’t even know what that means.

        • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

          Watch the Dunkirk movie

    • OrG

      All righty then, case dismissed.

    • Covfefe

      Yeah. And wanted Jared and Manafort to hear them out too, as early as possible.

      • Joe Beese

        Trump Jr. said he expected “just basic information that was going to be possibly there” at his meeting with Veselnitskaya.

        Nothing Jared and Paul like more than basic information.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      He should probably just stick to “It’s my first day.”

  • Me not sure

    In that this the open thread portion of today’s program, I have a burning question that I’ve been waiting all day to ask. What the hell is the cream colored substance in Sarah Huckabee Sander’s mouth? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/17ca93df2f8653b58c895ee39147894e5d4d9780351cd21e040cad5a1a9da566.jpg

    • Joe Beese

      Semen.

    • OrG

      Cream?

      • Me not sure

        Define “cream”.

    • shastakoala

      Three scoops of ice cream?

      • Me not sure

        No! Cannot have!

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Lies, probably?

      • Me not sure

        Great big greasy ones?

    • mrFawkes

      Sins of the father?

      • Werewolf

        Ewwwww!

    • Three Finger Salute

      Pastor Mike

      • Me not sure

        Purity of Essence?

        • Three Finger Salute

          Oh, was that the name of his Z-grade Bible movie he was incessantly robocalling people to promote…?

    • theCryptofishist

      Me not sure, be careful. You look at them too close, ask too many questions… That way madness lies…

      • Me not sure

        Wife says I passed that station long ago and didn’t get off of the train.

    • Iam Reading

      The source code for the next Triple Crown winner?

      • Covfefe

        This comment is cruel, vulgar and unsuitable for a mommy recipe blog. I’m embarrassed I upvoted it.

        • Me not sure

          Moral rectitude!

      • Me not sure

        Neigh!

        • Iam Reading

          We are winnie

      • ahughes798

        ooooooh….the burn. Good one!

    • TootsStansbury

      Oh come on you guys. She’s a Huckabee. It’s crisco, it’s like tictacs to them.

      • Me not sure

        Lard! Of course!

        • Three Finger Salute

          Praise the lard!

          • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

            I have that t-shirt, courtesy of Mrs Dont

          • Me not sure

            …and pass the ham and chitlins!

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Ahhhhh! She’s coming right for me!

      • Me not sure

        More frightening than the fabled gorilla-pig chimera.

    • Nockular cavity

      Ichor.

      • Me not sure

        Extra credit for use of ichor.🆙🆙🆙

    • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

      The Opposite of Truth?

      • Me not sure

        Well played.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      When did they reanimated Chris Farley?

  • ⭐️Most Accurate Poster 2017⭐️

    Is it too soon to call this mess STUPIDGATE?

    • theCryptofishist

      Trumpgate, but I repeat you…

    • satanscheerleadersloveamerica
      • ⭐️Most Accurate Poster 2017⭐️

        Aw I hadn’t seen that. For a second I thought I was funny.

      • jesterpunk

        He needs a new name for this, after today is has passed Stupid Watergate.

        • satanscheerleadersloveamerica

          the election that killed Americagate

        • everstar

          Even Stupider Watergate.

    • h4rr4r

      StupidGhazi

      • ⭐️Most Accurate Poster 2017⭐️

        Dumbghazi has a better ring to it IMO, but also good.

    • TootsStansbury

      Stupid, greedy traitors.

    • mrFawkes

      Waterheadedbabygate

      • ⭐️Most Accurate Poster 2017⭐️

        Waterheadgate.

        Waterheadgate.

        I like it!

      • Three Finger Salute

        Puppymonkeybabygate?

        Rubberbabybuggybumpergate?

        Veganbabybuttholegate?

  • Joe Beese
    • Doug Langley

      Connect the dots, how does that work?

      • mailman27

        The dots are coming from inside the HOUSE!!!

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Does Tweety really know what “fluffing” means?

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I sincerely hope not. And I say that with no context to your comment.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Besides pillows, you mean? Is this another thing Rachel has to explain to me?”
      — Chris Matthews

  • Three Finger Salute

    Posted this below. Theme song for #Showergate.

    It’s actually a song about “trickle down” economics.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lTqNPSDBoM

  • BreakingDeadMen

    Here come the warm jets

    • OrG

      Eno libelz!

      • BreakingDeadMen

        Is not libel if it’s true

  • jesterpunk
  • Latverian Diplomat

    You’d think Trump would understand, once the leak starts, it’s hard to stem the flow before it runs its course.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      So much pissing

    • Me The People

      Once the seal is broken…

    • Werewolf

      Piss in our time.

    • Covfefe

      Stem the course? This is drilling a hole in a serviceable dyke.

  • Me The People

    Andy Murray: the feminist that tennis needs

    https://www.theguardian.com/sport/shortcuts/2017/jul/11/andy-murray-the-feminist-that-tennis-needs

    “Inequality is something I started to see and become passionate about,” said Murray two years ago, discussing the unusual scrutiny heaped upon his female coach, Amélie
    Mauresmo. Having a woman in the role, he said, has “opened my mind”.

    • Thiazin Red

      Well, as women could tell you the trick to getting other men to listen and give a shit about sexism is to have a man talk about it.

      • Three Finger Salute

        No it isn’t. They’ll just call Murray a cuck, a sellout and a f*ggot the same as they do with Trudeau. Go read his youtube channel and see if you can last all of two minutes without losing all faith in the human race.

  • ziggywiggy

    How New Yorkers get relief from the heat.. my photo that was one of the winners in the Inwood Postcard Project(Northern Manhattan), very exciting for me and wow did I really need the $500 prize, sometimes things actually happen when you need them! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d11531c1ce3ae1e7b5b609c70183875a3db23f283aab02e9909b609299fffa64.jpg

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      nice!

    • BosGrl

      Congratulations! That really is a great picture.

    • Thiazin Red

      That is really nice.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Why hasn’t Dimwit Jr. been arrested yet?

    • jesterpunk

      Mueller might be giving him more rope to hang himself with. He is going on Lumpy’s show tonight to talk about his emails.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Donald Jr isn’t Mueller’s ultimate target, just a means to an end

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Trump’s jobs program for criminal lawyers has become wildly successful.

        • jesterpunk

          I know, but with as stupid as jr has been today give him more time and he will release pics and videos of him and his father meeting with Russia and agreeing to work with them to win the election.

    • Thiazin Red

      Why does Kushner still have security clearance when everyone knows he lied repeatedly about meetings with Russians? Ha ha nothing matters.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Because Republicans hate America?

    • Dudleydidwrong

      1. President’s spawn
      2. See #1

    • shastakoala

      I believe he’s seeking asylum at Mar a Lago.

    • Covfefe

      1. According to Josh Marshall, at talkingpointsmemo.com, Mueller didn’t know about the tapes until Junior posted them online.

      2. You take Junior into custody, he’s going to quit running his mouth. Too early to turn off the spigot.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I know. I just really want to see a Trump family member being frogmarched in shackles to Rikers.

        • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

          Probably wouldn’t be Rikers, though. Federal lock-up for this shit.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I know that too, but some terrifying penal hellhole would make it more fun. A fellow can dream, no?

          • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

            You’re right. It does appeal.

        • Me The People

          “Don’t worry son, I’ll see to it that you are made whole.”

        • Three Finger Salute
        • ariel_gee_398

          It’s a bitch to get to Rikers, you want somewhere more publicly accessible. There’s a federal detention center in Manhattan that would do nicely. This should make you feel better: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/01/23/nyregion/el-chapo-guzman-manhattan-jail.html

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            That should do nicely, thank you.

            Jesus…this is what I’m reduced to…researching possible future prisons for the Trump crime family, hoping to make myself feel better by finding the most hideous one imaginable.

          • ariel_gee_398

            That said, Rikers is being decommissioned by the City, and I think would make a lovely future home for some fine folks if the federal government bought it. Think of it as Gitmo North.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Donald J. Trump as the only resident for the rest of his life…a la Albert Speer at Spandau. The historical and moral synchronicity would be off the charts.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Rikers is actually several different buildings – could easily house about a dozen people and not have them encounter another soul. The buildings could use a fresh coat of paint though. I’m thinking gold.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I’m guessing the faux Louis XVI furniture will have to stay at home, though.

            FYI, a lot of “The Night Of” takes place at Rikers.

          • ariel_gee_398

            It probably can’t be fit through cell doors, so no. It’s also right by LaGuardia so can be very loud. Just to be safe, we should probably pump Nickelback through the loudspeakers at all times. Though that perverse bastard probably likes Nickelback.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Nickelback? I’m disappointed in you. Journey or GTFO!

          • ariel_gee_398

            C’mon. He’s not a war criminal.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Personally, I’d put on pirated concert cassette tapes of the Grateful Dead 24/7 to torture him, but I know people who would volunteer to join him at Rikers just to listen to them all day and night.

          • ariel_gee_398

            No, I’ve got it. NPR. Make him listen to Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me and stuff like that, but none of it about him.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Brilliant! Reruns of Car Talk and the Prairie Home Companion would but him over the edge…well, MORE over the edge.

            Speaking of which, are they going to keep recycling that stuff until there are nothing but cockroaches left on earth?

          • ariel_gee_398

            No, just until the donations dry up.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            That their most popular shows are hosted by people who are dead or retired sort of sums up NPR in a nutshell these days. Tote bags uber alles.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            From our conversations, I’ve deduced that you’re a lot smarter than me, which probably means you’re not watching any of the Gold Cup. I’d suggest you don’t start. It’s the US “B” team, and in case you are wondering if there are any promising luminaries on the horizon, think no further. These schmoes are SAD. They struggled to beat traditional football powerhouse Martinique last night…yes, Martinique… most of their roster play in amateur pub leagues in France. It was like watching a shitty adult rec league match at a city park.

          • ariel_gee_398

            No, I haven’t been watching. I was actually just talking with a friend about how nice it would be if it were an Olympics or World Cup year. Just a little something to distract us for a couple of hours a day from the raging hellfire of politics.

            Speaking of NPR, did you know they’re in a dispute with their union workers? Not surprising, given what the editorial choices tell us about management, but christ. https://www.wemakenpr.org/

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I know, right? I LOVE the Olympics and WC….I watch more television during those events than I care to admit. There are always so many compelling stories; athletic competition at it’s best, IMO. Just read that James Rodriguez got picked on loan by Bayern for a couple of years. Remember what an amazing World Cup he had? He seemed like a sure bet. I don’t know if the fact that he couldn’t cut it at Real says something about him or about the incredible expectations at a top club like Real.

            This doesn’t surprise me at all. I’ve literally written NPR off…every time I go back on that and listen for a few minutes, I end up getting just bug-eyed pissed off. The dude with the new show that replaced Diane Rehm is a complete fucking dolt. Funny thing is-and I realize they are different entities-I am a big fan of public television. I like the documentary form, and shows like Independent Lens and POV I think are top notch. Frontline also too. And, full disclosure, as an animal lover, I am an absolute dork when it comes to wildlife shows. Drublic Jr. just got back from Kenya and got to see the beginnings of the wildebeest migration, which is the largest animal migration on the planet. Thanks to PBS, I know a bit about it…he says it was jaw-dropping.

          • ariel_gee_398

            I think James maybe needs a bit more attention on him to flourish. In a team like Real Madrid, he’s never going to get the spotlight, and I sort of think he needs that motivation. I could be wrong, but we’ll see.

            The current CEO of NPR is the founder of E! I think that really tells us all we need to know.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I wish him nothing but the best; he seems like a decent, earnest young man. I can rail as loud as anyone about coddled, entitled athletes and their exorbitant salaries, but it’s a Darwinian world they inhabit…the ultimate meritocracy. Nobody gives them anything; they have to produce, and consistently, ever time to earn it. And it isn’t always a matter of talent when they don’t excel.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Yeesh, I didn’t mean it as a knock. I just think some folks do better as a big fish in a small pond, it brings out their best. I think he might be like that – his talent comes through most when it’s really needed.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Oh, I know you weren’t dissing him. Sorry if I came off that way. I was basically expanding on what I took you to mean…that the talent is there, but the situation is not one that is conducive to him being able to thrive. As fans, we never really know what those dynamics and complexities are. Javier Hernandez-Chicharito-was supposed to be another sure bet…but he really couldn’t cut it at Man U. or at Real. He’s reasonably decent for Bayer, but I think in his case, he just isn’t a true target forward…more of a poacher, really. But I think Rodriguez is the real deal in terms of talent.

          • ariel_gee_398

            No worries. I think that’s probably true, but i just find something so joyous about the way Chicharito plays. It leaves me always wanting to cheer for him. He’s rumored to be in Chelsea’s sights, I hope he doesn’t end up there.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I think he’s a valuable player, but he’s not a hold the ball striker and passer….he’s that guy you put in in the 75th minute when you really need a goal. He doesn’t seem to have the Chelsea mentality, does he?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            FYI, your suggestion to avoid the shit-stirrers: Remember that incident I told you about where this person told me to fuck the fuck off to fuck-off-and-die land? He/she (I think a she) sort of crowed about it a bit, then disappeared. Anyway, I recently not only noticed she is back, but has upvoted a couple of my comments. I mean, how fucking weird is that, esp. after having vowed that I would be blocked for all eternity? I guess it’s better than wondering if someone is going to try find out who I really am so she can come burn down my house, but sheesh. I’m not getting within spitting distance of this one. That whole thing really upset me…made me think long and hard about whether sticking around on Wonkette was worth it.

          • ariel_gee_398

            The number of people who can’t take a joke or don’t get a joke – and I’m not talking offensive transphobic bullshit, just dark/adult humor – on a site premised on it is kind of staggering. I’ve got a growing list of folks I just know I want to avoid interacting with.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Amen, my friend. I don’t know if I told you, but it was in the context of a completely lighthearted, throwaway thread that started with a (true) comment I made about how I have never played a video game. It went from there to others commenting on common things they had never seen or done, which included me saying (true again) that I’ve never owned a watch, and never use an alarm clock because I tend to just wake up at the right time. It was actually really fun and funny…Wonkette at its goofy, witty best in some ways; then this person starting talking about how her grandfather used to wake her up at 4 a.m. every morning as a kid by banging on a cast iron kettle or skillet. What I took to be a bit of dark-humored one-upmanship, she apparently saw as traumatic childhood abuse. Not judging whether it was or wasn’t, but I truly-thickheadedly or not-did not discern that in her comments, so I kept up the joking banter. She went fucking ballistic, accused me of mocking and belittling her abuse. It was so bizarre…I mean, aside from being absolutely gobsmacked, I felt genuinely bad for having said something that caused injury to another, even if unintentionally. And I would’ve fucking apologized had she explained rather than telling me to fuck off and blocking me. So yeah…the burned hand remembers best.

          • ariel_gee_398

            I know we can’t necessarily help what dredges up past traumas, but I just think there are some folk who take advantage of how good natured most of this group is to use it as a therapy session. Fortunately, that’s a small percentage and relatively easy to avoid.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Molly woke me up at 4:30 this morning, my only day off. I think I’ll scream and yell and blame you for it, if that’s OK.

          • ariel_gee_398

            At least she didn’t do it by banging on a cast iron skillet. (I assume, but maybe she’s got a great sense of irony and opposable thumbs.)

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            No…she did it by licking my face then grabbing a squeaky toy and doing her “please please oh please can we go for a walk now” dance…which can be traumatic in its own way. I think I’ll probably be angry for the rest of my life.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Maybe you can write a song about it. A modern man’s Sixteen Tons.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            So, I’ll stop whinging about this at some point (I mean, don’t hold your breath or anything, but…) but you know what put her over the edge (and I mean the crazy person, not Molly)? I told her-sympathetically-that I spent 6 years of my adolescence delivering newspapers, getting up at 4 a.m. 365 days a year…you know, sort of “I feel your pain” solidarity of the weary. That’s what she took to be me mocking her abuse. ‘Cause, you know, making fun of trauma survivors is why I’m friends with people like you, Jen, Juan de Fuca etc.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Hey, look on the bright side. Now you have your own story of deep trauma to share with strangers on the internet that trigger you.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            What the fuck do mean by that? Who appointed you God and told you to belittle me? You are SO blocked! And I’m telling mom. *spends rest of day on Wonkette bragging about how I put you in your place*

          • ariel_gee_398

            It’s like my momma always says – Not everyone can be smart and interesting, but everyone can be loud and indignant.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Yeah…I think the kids call that “Facebook” now.

            Smart lass, your momma. I assume it runs in the family…with one possible exception. Let me know if she ever decides to ditch your dad.

          • ariel_gee_398

            I love my mother, but she has a tendency towards the irrational that I wouldn’t foist on anyone. And how much smarts run in the family remains to be seen. I injured myself yesterday putting a stopper in a bottle of beer. That takes some doing.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I don’t know why, but I get the feeling you see many others as somewhat irrational.

            As for avoiding bottle stopper injuries, I have a foolproof solution: Finish the fucking beer! *I had another sip of the Transatlantique Kriek yesterday. It tasted a lot better, for whatever reason, than it did the first time I tried it. Still not what it’s cracked up to be, but not bad*

          • ariel_gee_398

            Well, that’s probably true, but my mom is also legitimately irrational and nutty. We were talking about partisan gerrymandering recently and she told me she had cracked it – that no one should register a party affiliation, then partisan gerrymandering would be impossible. I told her that, leaving aside other factors used as a proxy for party affiliation, it wouldn’t work because most primaries are still closed so you’d lose the ability to decide candidates without party affiliation. She started yelling at me because I didn’t understand her plan, allegedly.

            It was a big bottle, so after filling my glass there was some left over – how else could I keep it cool and carbonated?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Oy. There comes a time with parents-and I am very fortunate to still have my mother-that you force a smile and say “that sounds good”. You may not be there yet, but hopefully your folks will live long enough that you get there. And my mother is liberal and anything but dotty at 92….it’s just that you realize there is only so much time left, what’s the point of arguing. But it does require a firm bite of the tongue sometimes. (I love reading stories about people who live to be a hundred or more. A local news staple is to ask them what the secret of a long life is…and the answer is always so wonderfully irrational and goofy; “I always put the left shoe on first”….”I only eat white bread” etc.)

            So, seriously, wtf did you do to yourself? Have second thoughts and try to gnaw the stopper off or something? And you can’t tell me a story like this and not tell me what you were drinking!

          • ariel_gee_398

            I didn’t start a fight – I tried to engage in discussion and got attacked.

            I don’t even know precisely what I did, I was just walking and putting the stopper in and twisted something in my wrist. It hurt a lot yesterday but seems fine today. And it was nothing you would have liked – Samuel Smith’s Cherry Ale, which I suspect you would find way too sweet. I was experimenting with adding a little bit into stouts in an effort to replicate a beer I had a while back.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            The parental conundrum; I frequently tell people when they complain about a disagreement with their adult kids that if you raised your them to think critically, be independent, and make up their own minds about things, you kind of have to accept the result when they grow up and do exactly that. Sorry you got yelled at.

            Bell’s makes a seasonal cherry stout that’s actually pretty good. Samuel Smith Pale Ale was the first really good Brit beer I ever tried…I mean, at the time, I thought Bass Ale was the bomb, for context. When I was in college in the 1920s, they turned an old hotel downtown into nice joint where they’d have jazz or folkie bands for Friday happy hour and bottles of Sam Smith for $1. I used to go down there with 20 bucks in my pocket and come home with…well…a lot less than that.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Jesus, Sam Smith for a dollar. That must have been in the Jazz Age. I’m off next week to cat sit my brothers 8 (!) cats while he’s on vacation, and he has promised to leave a fridge stocked with Boulevard and assorted Belgian beers as payment. He’s a good egg sometimes.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I should’ve been more clear; it was the late 1920s, so a bit after the jazz age. I’m not THAT old, smartass.

            That sounds like a good break…minus the 8 cats, of course. Do you get to bring yours too? I get asked to feed and look in on my brother’s many cats when he and his wife are away; I don’t recall a fridge full of Boulevard and Belgian beer being involved. Then again, he lives a block and a half away.

          • ariel_gee_398

            There’s a Great Depression joke bouncing around there that I’ll be polite enough not to make.

            I’m gonna leave my boys here – it’s a bit of a pain to reorient cats to a new place. Dogs you just need to bring their food and they’re pretty much fine, but cats tend to be a little more sensitive to those upheavals. Plus, Gus has dietary restrictions and it’ll be easier to deal with if he stays behind. They’ll be well-tended to, though. Much easier to get someone to take care of 2 cats than 8.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            For fear the hearts of men are failing
            These are the latter days, we know
            The Great Depression now is spreading
            God’s word declared it would be so

            I’m going where there’s no depression
            To a better land that’s free from care
            I’ll leave this world of toil and trouble
            My home’s in heaven, I’m going there

            –Carter Family, “No Depression In Heaven”

            Excuse me? Molly needs her special rhinoceros toy, her special blanket, and her special Gentle Leader leash for sleepovers. I think it’s funny to get someone to watch your cats so you can go watch some other cats though. What are Gus’s dietary restrictions? Only free-range, grass-fed artisanal mice?

          • ariel_gee_398

            I had no idea the Carter Family was a suicide cult.

            Yes, but cats need boxes and their own brand of litter. Traveling with a cat toilet is a pain in the butt. Nothing major, he just can’t eat kibble. He’s got a tendency to develop crystals in his urine, which can be very deadly if it causes a blockage. (And expensive to have the vet deal with, I can tell you from experience.) My brother’s cats free feed on kibble all day and it’d be quite the hardship for them to not have it accessible, so Gus would have to be locked up somewhere, which would be quite a hardship on him.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Every family has their secrets, right?

            This apocalyptic country gospel music-framing frightening social events in a Book of Revelations context-was something of a thing back in the day, and a genre I’m into. I tried my hand at it recently in a song that’s a barely-disguised narrative about Trump; “Come To Light”.

            There is evil done in darkness with no living soul to witness
            Midst silent hours in the deep of night
            But there is no escape from that final day of reckoning
            When these dark deeds will surely come to light

            In my telling the saved and redeemed on Judgement Day are the social justice warriors…”those who fight for freedom will be lifted up in glory…”. Fyi, my official description this particular band is “original acoustic music for the sophisticated urban hillbilly”.

            Well, that’s certainly one big difference between traveling with a dog…dog toilet=”outdoors”. Men’s urinal also too. Glad you’re a conscientious pet owner. I’m very lucky-knock on wood; Molly is an exceedingly fit and healthy dog.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Tidbits:

            PBS/Frontline did a show this week called “Life On Parole”. Given your professional interests, you might check it out. I haven’t watched it all; like most of these kinds of docs, it’s well done, informative, and slightly depressing.

            Heard today that your beloved Chelsea just signed Alvaro Morata from Real to be their target striker. He could be dangerous. One of the ESPNFC commentators was marveling how Real just let go of James Rodriguez and Morata-two premier talents who could never really crack their starting eleven-and nobody even bats an eye. The expectations at that club are off the charts.

          • ariel_gee_398

            I’ve got a list of documentaries and the like to get through when I get a chance. I just saw one recently about Shaken Baby Syndrome that argues it’s basically a fiction. And the people who push it are the same folks who tried that satanic child abuse bullshit in the 80s.

            I still haven’t been watching any of the Gold Cup, but it sounds like I missed…something…with the last US game. I think FIFA maybe needs to consider that biting should be a one year ban from competitive play. There’s just no excuse for that.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Wow. I think I’d heard that maybe Shaken Baby Syndrome wasn’t really a thing, but I didn’t know it was a hoax by these “recovered memory” scam artists. I would’ve hoped they’d all been driven out of business.

            That match was disgraceful. I mean, it was a shitty game to begin with. The U.S. back four looked like they’d found some passersby outside the stadium who didn’t know one another, invited them to the locker room, given them uniforms, then told them to go out and play defense. But the biting…and that was just part of it. There were at LEAST 4 red cards that should’ve been given, as well as just constant hard, chickenshit fouls, time-wasting, embellishment…I’m not sure what the referee was doing while the rest of us were watching the match… egregiously late, studs up tackles right to the shins etc. A badly blown offsides call on a scored goal. And I’m with you on the biting. I mean spitting on someone and racial abuse are really bad, but biting is such psychopathic behavior. Yeah, a year’s vacation for the first incident, and if it happens again, I teach the perp the phrase “welcome to McDonalds, may I take your order” and wish them luck in their new career. And that means you, Louis fucking Suarez…one of the reasons I have a hard time rooting for Barca.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Some football bits: I saw an interview last night with Jan Vertonghen from your beloved Spurs. Pretty engaging and articulate guy. There seems to be a good team morale at Spurs. He talked about that high pressing style, what a challenge it is for defenders, but absolutely, in his view, “the right way to play”.

            Even after signing Lukaku, I heard Mourinho is trying to lure Ibrahimovic back. And Chicharito signed with Stoke City, so he’s safe from Chelsea for now.

            You off cat-sitting and drinking your brother’s beer?

          • ariel_gee_398

            I love Jan. He tweeted out a picture of himself before he Euros last year packing Settlers of Catan and a couple huge non-fiction books. Beyond footballing abilities, Spurs really seem to find important to sign genuinely nice people with better than average intelligence.

            The Shaken Baby Syndrome stuff is just insane. Basically, it’s big business for the pushers. They get millions in federal grants. There was a case in Oregon where an expert testified and helped get a woman acquitted. He was then charged with perjury. Even by shady prosecutorial standards, that’s insane.

            Off later today, but they don’t leave until tomorrow morning. Can’t wait.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Nice to hear. I’m probably more cynical than most sports fans, but a part of me would like to think that some of these super-athletes are also decent people. I suspect most of them aren’t-the ego and single-mindedness involved makes that difficult, but obviously some of them transcend that.

            I saw an interview with Kyle Beckerman a few years back; Real Salt Lake, a USMNT staple for a couple of WC cycles. He’s nobody’s idea of a football superstar, but a solid player who’s been a pro since he was a teenager. Though he loves the game and is planning to play as long as possible, he spoke excitedly about life after football, because soccer is the ONLY thing he has done for most of his life. That kind of focus doesn’t lend itself to well-rounded people, unless they are extraordinarily self-aware. He was really looking forward to exploring normal life.

            Safe travels, have fun.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I was watching the Man U/Real summer league match; they did an interview with Ronaldo at halftime…he’s off in China promoting his brand. I love Ronaldo as a player, but what a fucking dolt. ComPLETEly self-absorbed and literal-minded. I don’t think he is capable of understanding nuance, let alone a joke…unless it is at some rival’s expense.

            Hope you and the kitties are relaxing and having fun. Did your brother leave you anything good?

          • ariel_gee_398

            I only saw the first half, so I missed that display. My Spurs played last night and beat PSG. I’m really excited for the season to start – they’re not splashing a ton of money on transfers, focusing instead on developing youth players. You’ve got to root for a team trying to beat teams spending £200 million on players by developing players through the academy.

            There’s a very nicely stocked fridge downstairs. There’s Boulevard Tank 7 and Sixth Glass, Duchesse, Kentucky Bourbon Barrel Aged Stout, Founder’s Doom, plus a few others I can’t recall. My brother may be married to a lunatic, but he doesn’t skimp on the beer.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Nice. Tank 7 is a reliable favorite. And the Duchesse! Don’t know if I told you, but I happened to be passing through Kansas City many years ago and happened on Boulevard totally by chance. In an interesting old red brick industrial area of the city that at the time was still pretty sketchy. I love industrial cityscapes, so I thought it was way cool. They were just getting started…their “tasting room” was just a big plank across some sawhorses on the brewing floor. I developed an immediate crush on the woman in charge of shepherding the slackjawed gawkers through the joint, so I went back a few times. Now it’s a huge-and hugely successful operation. Some good friends of mine are from KC and know the owner…say he’s a great guy that has poured a lot of money back into community-minded projects.

            Rats, I missed the Spurs match. Vertonghen was talking in that interview about the challenge for them was to stay competitive with clubs that were spending insane amounts of money. European leagues are pretty stacked at the top that way. My brother has a Brit friend who’s a Tottenham fanatic. The Man U/Real match was kind of a dog, btw. Sloppy, disinterested play that ended in the most pathetic penalty shootout I’ve ever witnessed…2 made penalties for Manchester to 1 for Real. Sad. Weak. So, is Neymar going to PSG or what?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            One of the things I did enjoy about the match was Craig Burley as one of the commentators. As an old-school Scottish hardass, he has no problem calling out poor play, and he really dissed Fellaini as the lumbering, useless, ill-tempered hack that he is. He seems to be as puzzled as anyone that Mourinho seems to rate the guy.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Better than the commentary for the Spurs game, then, where some ill-informed doofus said we needed to upgrade Christian Eriksen, who has been targeted by Barca.

            I’ve always assumed Fellaini has compromising photos of Mourinho and Moyes. Only sensible explanation.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            You missed it, but in the 2nd half of the match against Real, Fellaini suddenly found himself onside in the box, 6 yards in front of the nearest defender, right in front of goal. The cross was perfect; right ON his right boot…basically all he had to do was let it hit his foot and it’s a goal. He managed to put it both about 25 yards wide and 15 yards high. One of the most astonishing boinks I’ve ever seen. Dude is sad.

            ESPNFC had an interview today with Harry Kane. Regarding all the big money transfers, he talked about how he was very happy at Spurs; his teammates, the fans, management etc., and said money had nothing to do with his love of the game. He was praised highly by all the commentators, including the other Scottish hardass, Stevie Nicols, who all went out of their way to say what a nice young man he is. I may have to start following this team.

          • ariel_gee_398

            The thing is, that’s not even surprising. The shocking thing would be if he had scored.

            The relationship between Harry and the fans is really something. He’s a local boy who came up through the academy (after being signed by Arsenal when he was 8 and then released). I don’t think there’s any amount of money that could turn his head. He wants to play his entire career at Spurs, captain the team, the whole nine yards. And he works his ass off every practice and every game, never has any off-field drama. He’s basically a dream player to root for (and probably to coach, too).

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            The only thing that surprised me about Fellaini is that he didn’t go kick somebody’s shin and then head butt them…a specialty of his when he makes a stupid mistake…which is all the time.

            I know less than nothing about Kane, but I’m a bit intrigued. The take with the ESPNFC crew was that he kind of blossomed out of nowhere….he was a very talented but not spectacular youth player, and is absent the flamboyance and egregious ego that seems to characterize many of the best strikers. They didn’t exactly phrase it this way, but they seemed to think that his emergence as a target striker at Spurs had a lot to do with the nurturing atmosphere at the club; that, though they believed he has the talent to play for any of the giant European clubs, perhaps, personality-wise, he might get eaten alive at a place like Real or Barca.

            He was quite engaging in the interview…he speaks with a bit of a lisp, and behind the beard, has a total baby face. I’m starting to see your attraction to this club.

          • ariel_gee_398

            He’s got natural skill, but has basically turned himself into an approaching-world class striker through force of will. Like I said, he works his ass off. He’s one of those guys you have to drag off the pitch. Last year, he was out for two periods with ankle injuries, so he missed about 6 starts. With two games to go in the season, he was 4 goals behind Lukaku for the Golden Boot. He scored 7 goals in his last games to win it because he just wanted it that badly.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Well, THAT kinda sucked ass…Spurs with the amazing comeback, only to fall asleep and let Roma put the winner in at the very end. Good thing it’s only a friendly.

            The healthcare vote today has me too fucking pissed off even for Wonkette. I’ma avoid media for a few days…any footage or even snarky commentary on Trump’s gloating is going to put me over the edge. I like to kick McCain’s half-dead ass up and down the street right now. How ’bout that speech to the Boy Scouts, eh? We’re fucking doomed.

          • ariel_gee_398

            We got absolutely hosed by the officiating. That was a never a penalty and then (I thought) clearly was a penalty on Kane. But most of the first-team players looked good enough, though.

            McCain is really a special kind of evil. He’s not the guy who rips candy out the hands of a child, he’s the guy who gives it to the child, lets them enjoy it for a few minutes, then rips it away only to throw it on the ground and stomp on it.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            That was clearly not a deliberate handball. He didn’t have his arm pinned behind his back, but clearly was doing all he could to get it out of the way.

            The thing about McCain, he’s a fuckng taker. Everything he has comes-money, political office, social status-comes from marrying into his wife’s family and mafia-connected booze distributorship.

          • ariel_gee_398

            He was spinning to get away from the ball, not trying to handle it. And the way it was called… I’m just going to focus on the fact that we’re holding our own against the likes of Roma and PSG.

            These people really make me wish I believed in an afterlife….

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            So, I took a little break from heat, humidity, Donald Trump, my shop, Wonkette, and news in general; a little kamikaze run to SoCal for a day at the beach, fish tacos, cool weather, and, truth be told, a few beers. Went to Toolbox, which was really really good. With what I’d been told they put Cellar 3 to shame. Au contraire. Made it back there, and I gotta tell you, for my money and my tastes, it’s the best place I’ver personally visited. Check out their site…probably 15 Cellar 3 beers on tap, plus the gamut of Green Flash. Various fruit sours of their “Morta” series, variations on Belgian brett pales and tripels with their “sauvage” series. I even tried something called “Luscious Frumento, which tasted exactly like a cherry cordial…not exactly my cuppa, but great if you like that kind of thing. Still incredibly reasonable price-wise….I sampled a bunch of stuff, then got a few full pours of the winners. My ultimate faves, if you go to their site, was the tripel, the Vivid Sauvage with blank currant, and one called the Fresco Sauvage was the grand prize winner. Of course I got to chatting with the crew manning the taps…after a time, recognizing I was putty in their hands, they started asking “have you tried THIS one yet” and pouring me a glass. Thank God a couple of friends-one a non-drinker-were along for the ride, ’cause yours truly was bordering on a wee bit drunkinpublic. Did the obligatory inebriated farewell by telling the Cellar 3 crew they were the best friends I’ve ever had….I might’ve even cried. We ended up going to Stone Brewing for dinner, about 25 minutes away. Good beer-although by that time, I’d had more than enough-but super-fancy, huge restaurant, gardens, “brewery experience” thingie… in a real corporate, Disney-ish, exit-through-the-gift-shop kind of way. I mean, more power to ’em, I guess, but personally I’m more partial to the DIY warehouse vibe and a food truck.

            Anyway, hope your week away with the kitties and beer was restorative…I definitely needed an emotional hiatus from this political shitshow for a few days. But I missed Molly really bad…I can’t decide whether that is admirable or pathetic.

          • ariel_gee_398

            That sounds like a nice escape. I’ve had a lot going on, so not as much time to obsess about the news, and I have to say, I think it’s been good for my mental health.

            This may be considered sacrilege, but I don’t really like Stone’s beers all that much. Their IPAs are just too bitter. I like really aggressive IPAs, but they need some sort of balance and I just don’t think Stone’s have it.

            There’s absolutely no shame in that – I was surrounded by cats, but I still missed my guys while I was away. There’s nothing quite like the bonds we form with the critters we live with.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Nice to hear from you. I’ve noticed you’ve been a little scarce of late. I’d thought about checking in with you, but also don’t want to be intrusive and all up in your business…although something happened last week that made me think that occasionally inquiring after people I care about is a good thing. I thought of you while watching Spurs/Juve last night…one of the more entertaining of these preseason matches that I’ve seen, even given that the score could’ve easily been 5-nil. (I brought back a 32 oz. growler of beer from Cellar 3 that I drank last night watching the game, which may be partially responsible for why I enjoyed it so much).

            I’m with you mostly on Stone, though I have some loyalty to them for an incident that I may have told you about, when they bailed me out of a bad situation. But yeah, they were the pioneers of “let’s see just how hoppy and bitter we can make it” something I got over a long time ago. I’ve found their “delicious” IPA to be more balanced in the way you mentioned.

            Hope the “lot going on” is good stuff, and if not, I hope it isn’t really bad stuff. You want to see something mindbendingly bizarre but very compelling, watch a new HBO doc called “Mommy Dead And Dearest”. Holy mother of God…

          • ariel_gee_398

            No worries, I’ve just been doing a lot of volunteer work with a new non-profit to get their program up and running. They’re brand new, but this could basically turn into my dream job when their grant funding starts coming in, so I’ve been working on it a lot.

            God, that game was so good. I’m with you, objectively, it was really entertaining. And I wasn’t even drinking while watching. But bossing an almost-full strength Juve on our temporary home field (which was something of an unfriendly ground last year in the Champions League) was just what the doctor ordered after the terrible showing against Man City. Hell, even Moussa Sissoko, a club record signing who did fuck all last year, looked good. I’m thinking he might be motivated to really turn it on this year because he wants to get on the French national team for the World Cup next year. Hopefully, our first-choice right back isn’t too seriously injured…

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Great! I hope that dream job works out for you.

            Yeah, hard to believe that was the same Juve side that destroyed Barca and made it to the Champions League semis….with defense. They looked utterly at sea. I’m not a big fan of Juve or Italian football in general, except for Gigi…how could you not like Gigi? But his defenders made him look like a fool. Where have I seen Sissoko? Was he on the French side for the Euros? I seem to recall him looking really lethal. He’s definitely got the goods if he decides he wants to put in the effort. Btw, that second goal was a thing of beauty. Watching in real time, I was certain Ericson was WAY offside, but it was split-second perfect timing. Also, I don’t know that he’s a great match commentator, but I really like Shaka Hislop. Maybe it’s just the accent, but I could listen to him all day.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Eh, even if it doesn’t, I’m doing something I feel really good about and learning new things.

            Yeah, that’s where you saw Sissoko. And he was great. That’s why I’m hoping this is the start of another renaissance for him. We are seriously short-staffed due to injuries at the moment, and there’s talk of loaning Sissoko out or selling him, but having brought in zero new players, I just don’t see how we can afford that.

            Mourinho also allegedly wanted Eric Dier. I don’t think we’ll be selling anyone else. I think that’s mostly just his ploy to try to unsettle the team. The one thing that I think really sets Spurs apart right now is their cohesion – absolutely everyone is on board with the plan and rowing in the same direction, and trying to turn a player’s head or disrupt that is probably a good way to try to encourage the team to underperform.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            As the camp commandant says in “Bridge On The River Kwai”, “be happy in your work”. So, that’s good. I’ve spent my life earning my corn making things out of wood and playing music. I don’t earn jackshit at either one, nor can I think of anything else I’d rather be doing. Which pretty much makes me an idealist AND a fool…

            Watching Man U/Real. Speaking of overrated French players, you know who I really don’t get? Paul Pogba. He just missed a free header-not a defender within 5 yards-and right to the keeper. For all his talent and the size of his paycheck, I’ve never seen him work particularly hard, or take over a match by dint of effort, talent, or commitment. He wouldn’t even make the Real B squad playing like that. But they’re bringing on Fellaini now. Whew! That should solve all their problems.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Pogba is, I think, way too easily distracted by off-field issues. He wanted to be a world record transfer, but I honestly can’t see that as money well-spent. I suspect he may go the way of Balotelli.

            Too bad you had to miss Steve Earle, but, as you know, you’ve only got a finite amount of energy in the battery, and once you wear it out with silly things like exercise and leisure activities, it’s gone.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Ha! Can’t remember which match I was watching, but the announcers were talking about some hotshit new prospect, and mentioned that his idol was Balotelli. Balotelli?? Yeah, good choice, moron….if you want spend your very short career as a complete dickhead that everyone hates.

            Trump knows about as much about human physiology and batteries as I know about Mandelbrot Set equations.

          • ariel_gee_398

            You’re underestimating your knowledge of mathematics as compared to Trump’s knowledge of, well, anything.

            I think there are some interesting/compelling bits about Balotelli, particularly the racism he faced in Italy and a very complicated situation growing up – I think he was raised by a foster family and had all sorts of issues. He’s not *just* a lazy wastrel, I think he’s an extremely emotionally damaged man with incredible talent. Had he not been subject to Mourinho at Inter, but instead found a more avuncular manager to take him under his wing, I wonder what might have happened. But, regardless, at this point, he’s not really an idol for career trajectory.

            Not only did two Chelsea players get sent off, but they’ll be suspend for next week’s game against Spurs. That is truly happy news.

            It’s basically designing research projects and developing strategy for a criminal justice reform organization. I get a ton of autonomy to track down things that I think are problematic, research the underlying issues and then develop solutions.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I never thought of Balotelli as lazy; quite the contrary. But a sulker who would quit trying once he got in a snit…just a human porcupine; he seemed to have a axe to grind with anyone and everyone. I was reading a piece in the Guardian about Samir Nasri….same deal. Remember when he looked like a sweet, innocent 12-year old and was touted as the next Zidane? Turns out his greatest talent is for getting people to hate him…his teammates, coaches, fans, reporters. I think he’s still with City just because they can’t find anyone willing to take him off their hands. The Darwinian world of professional football is probably not a place where one’s personal demons are going to get much better.

            Sounds interesting; good luck. Maybe you can get them to pay you to watch “The Night Of”…you know, “research”. Plus, you really should.

          • ariel_gee_398

            It’s a fine balance, right? You need to have enough drive and emotional need for glory to push yourself to work harder and be better, but not so much that you can’t function unless conditions are absolutely perfect.

            Yeah, I know, it’s on my list of things to watch. I’ll get there eventually.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Well, I could nag you about it if you like. Cause, I know I always respond really well to someone carping incessantly at me about something they want me to do.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Who doesn’t? That’s the only reason men ever pick up their dirty socks, from what I hear.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Oh, and just in case you were wondering, I’m not going to see Steve Earle and the Dukes tonight. I wish I was…but really expensive tickets, plus late night from a gig last night, a couple more gigs later this week. You only have so much energy after you turn 110.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Fyi, as per the Guardian-and for whatever it’s worth-Mourinho said the other day that he considers Spurs to be the team to beat this year in the P.L. He also like to steal Dele Alli, so there’s that.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Your boy came through after all. Hope you could savor the moment.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            As per my previous missive, I was taking a break, so I just found this out. Now I kind of feel like shit, because when he showed up in typical McCain grandstanding fashion to vote to proceed with the debate, it really put me over the edge. I wrote him a really nasty letter…where I actually said “fuck you, Senator”. But hey, I’ll happily eat some crow on this one, and I will write and, if not apologize, thank him his for his vote. OTOH, the man who thought having $arah one heartbeat away from the presidency was a grand idea cannot be told “fuck you” often enough, right?

  • Thiazin Red

    Does anyone else name their devices? Whenever windows or apple ask me to set up my device I always end up giving it a real name instead of just letting it be called Owner’s ipod. My current laptop is named Olivia because I was rewatching Fringe when I bought it.

    • h4rr4r

      I always name computers.

      • BosGrl

        Like, “Hal”?

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          Saxon Wolfcock and Irving.

        • h4rr4r

          Always ladies names, at home.

          Not sure why.

          • BosGrl

            Electronics are female like boats?

          • h4rr4r

            I have never named a boat but if I did it would be Row v Wade.

          • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

            I miss using feminine pronouns on machines. Is Olds

          • h4rr4r

            Why did you stop?

          • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

            Secretly didn’t.

        • AJ Milne

          Now that you mention it, it seems wrong I don’t have a GlaDOS.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      nothing especially creative, but I don’t leave them at default

    • jesterpunk

      I do and normally pick a theme for everything. Right now I am using a Doctor Who theme for everything.

      • Thiazin Red

        I need to get around to watching this season.

        • jesterpunk

          Its pretty good, cant wait for the Christmas episode.

          • Thiazin Red

            I like 12 and the actress who plays Bill is charming in interviews, so I’m sure I’ll like it. Of course I’ve liked most of it so far, so it wouldn’t be a surprise.

    • Doug Langley

      I once worked at Rockwell. In the dept I was in (a couple hundred people) the IT folks named all the computers after television cartoon characters.

      “Did you do the backup on Wilma and Felix?”
      “Couldn’t. Scooby was down and I had to reboot Daffy just to get the tape reader going.”

      • DirtyHippyLiberal

        I love this way too much. Thank you.

    • Rasilom

      My last 4 laptops have been named Scooter 1 thru 4. Hope this helps.

    • AJ Milne

      Network geek. I name everything. Computers, tablets, phones, anything that speaks IP. Partly for the same reason some people organize their sock drawer. Partly for the same reason people name their pets. And partly so I can tell at a glance who’s on the router and that they all belong there.

    • amrak63

      My three are Chikaru (newest), Miyuki, and Sawako.

    • Stulexington

      My current tower is named Bob because I built it and wanted to name it but suck at naming things.

  • Poly_Ester

    I think you have it all wrong. Donnie, Jr is the hero of this story. He was a Junior G-man in his younger days and was just trying to entrap those Russkis so that daddy (and the ghost of J. Edgar Hoover) would be proud of him.

    • CripesAmighty

      Yeah…Yeah…that’s it! (Wipes brow)

  • Canis Greyhame

    Hoo boy, remember what happened to them Dixie Chicks for having the temerity to make critical remarks about Bush? How far we have fallen, now those same Republican types are actively trying to defend & excuse a nest of bona-fide traitors in their midst.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      They are not traitors. Putin hates liberals as much as they do.

    • Darlene Underdahl

      A Russianized American crime family.(Probably excepting Tiffany and Barron.)

  • Joe Beese

    Donald Trump Jr. acknowledged in an exclusive interview with Fox News’ “Hannity” Tuesday night that he “probably would have done things a little differently” when he met with a Russian attorney during his father’s presidential campaign in June 2016.

    However, the president’s eldest son also described the meeting as “a nothing,” telling Fox News’ Sean Hannity, “I wouldn’t have even remembered it until you started scouring through this stuff. It was literally just a wasted 20 minutes, which was a shame.”

    http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2017/07/11/donald-trump-jr-tells-sean-hannity-in-retrospect-probably-would-have-done-things-little-differently.amp.html

    • Doug Langley

      And I certainly wouldn’t remember breaking and entering if it turned out there was nothing worth taking.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        doh, you beat me to it!

        • Doug Langley

          You snooze, you lose.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      it’s a shame he didn’t get more accomplished during hte commission of a crime?

      “It’s a shame i didn’t get any jewerly from that break-in. A waste of 20 minutes.”

      • Joe Beese

        It’s 20 minutes he could have spent suppressing the black vote.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Or stealing from a children’s cancer charity. Oh…wait, that’s his brother.

    • Joe Beese

      “I had been reading about scandals that people were probably underreporting for a long time, so maybe it was something that had to do with one of those things… I didn’t know if there was any credibility, I didn’t know if there was anything behind it, I can’t vouch for the information. Someone sent me an email. I can’t help what someone sends me. I read it, I responded accordingly.”

      The boy can’t help it, you son of a bitch!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWQACEMW0i4

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        ‘I can’t help what someone sends me. I read it, I responded accordingly.’

        One of my better results.
        – Dr I. Pavlov

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      There are people who are going to spend their lives in prison who’s last words as free citizens were “that terrorist plot I was hatching turned out to be a big nothing”.

    • Left Coast Tom

      Are his lawyers actually signing off on these interviews, or have they taken up day-drinking?

      • Stulexington

        I think they’re looking at how to pawn it off on someone else in the firm at this point.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    moar good news! (stick with to the end, and assuming 8 senate democrats aren’t complete assholes):

    Washington (CNN)House appropriators are including President Donald Trump’s full request to fund a physical border wall in their proposed 2018 budget — potentially setting up a shutdown fight this fall.

    The House appropriations committee released its homeland security bill on Tuesday and it includes the full $1.6 billion requested by the Office of Management and Budget to begin construction on a southern border wall.
    The bill also funds 500 new Border Patrol agents and more technology for securing the border, as well as money for Immigration and Customs Enforcement to hire 1,600 additional staff and increase detention capacity.
    While House Republicans have enough votes to pass such a bill even with some defections, the move would likely face trouble in the Senate, where Republicans need eight Democrats to join them to advance any funding bill.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      ha!

      Trump has repeatedly claimed that Mexico would pay for a wall, though Mexico has rejected that idea and the White House has not explained how it would secure Mexican funding. Earlier Tuesday, Lapan said that Kelly did not raise the prospect of Mexico paying for the wall when he was in Mexico last week meeting with officials.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        last one, i swear:

        Somebody do the math on this:
        ‘DHS says the roughly $1.6 billion requested for a wall will cover 74 miles of construction: 32 miles of wall and 28 miles of levee wall in the Rio Grande Valley, and 14 miles of replacement for secondary fencing in San Diego.

        • jowgajen

          The total length of the continental border is 3,201 kilometers (1,989 mi).

          So …

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            yeah, but something like 500 miles (?) of it is fenced, but roughy, yeah – so that $12B number they were tossing is crap (of course). I think john oliver’s $24-26B is about right – roughly.

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            I hate criticizing other people’s math, but you forgot to carry the KBR and divide by CH2M Hill.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            Purple.

            ; )

        • BosGrl

          Maybe they can use our bones, when we die from easily-treated but unaffordable diseases, as construction material.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            worked those freaky places in europe (sorry, I don’t know the names).

    • mrFawkes

      Border wall is on the back burner. Cyber firewall with Putin front and center.

  • mrFawkes

    In 2000, the Gore campaign was contacted by some nefarious agent and offered stolen info on Bush’s debate notes/memos. Their reaction–they called the FBI. This wasn’t sensitive info from a Russian spy, just political dirt on your opponent which has happened for centuries in U.S politics. Junior’s response–set up a meeting with Russian spy and include Manafort and Kushner. It is patently obvious that the trump crime family is morally/ethically bankrupt.

    • OrG

      Can we go for financially bankrupt?

      • mrFawkes

        Redundantly so.

    • Me The People

      Now we have some proof, I’m getting some kind of sick fun out of watching videos of Donald and Jr lying their fucking faces off over he last year every time the subject of Russian collusion came up. Blatantly lying, while screaming about lying.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        and KAC, Spicer, Sanders, and a dozen others!

      • netanil

        Trump is the Lance Armstrong of politics.
        Except Trump is a really shitty politician.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Or just mind-numbingly stoopid.

      • Stulexington

        Why not both?

      • Covfefe

        Or just mind-numbingly crooked.

    • miss_grundy

      Grand-dad was a pimp and Daddy was a real-estate crook, racist and bigot. Nothing good about these people.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    “Sir, do you know how fast you were going?”

    “6 POUNDS OF COKE IN THE TRUNK!”

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      heh, totally happened in the movie blow.

      • Kathleenrshaffer

        Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !ps114d:
        On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        !ps114d:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash404MarketGoldGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::!ps114l..,.

      • Debravhorton

        Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !pd167d:
        On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        !pd167:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleFinancialJobsCash457GroupConnectionGetPay$97Hour ★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★✫★★:::::!pd167..,…

    • biologydave

      Sincerely, thanks for that one

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Please come to the front desk to claim your prize.

  • weejee

    In case you thought the cloud of scandal and drama surrounding President
    Donald Trump’s administration couldn’t get more bizarre, more absurd
    and more like a rejected storyline from a Coen brothers movie or a
    “South Park” episode — I mean, it couldn’t, right? Except it just did.
    Michael Flynn and James Comey are disappearing behind us in the rearview
    mirror, like a couple of faithful dogs left behind at the last rest
    stop on the Reality Turnpike, while the Trump scandal’s overcrowded
    clown car plunges off the outer edge of the known universe.

    from the Saloon.

    • Angry Red Bird DGAF

      I haven’t forgotten about them.

      • weejee

        Mueller will bring them back when the time is appropriate.

        • Kurt Weil

          Yeah, it’s like those shrimp at Beni Hana that they put over to the side and then, after they get the beef and the veg cooked BAM: HIBACHI SHRIMP.

          Yum.

        • Joe Beese

          “Oh, yeah… firing the FBI Director to try to make the Russia thing go away. Felony obstruction of justice, right? Totally forgot about that!”

        • Three Finger Salute

          It’ll be like that old Groucho Marx show “This is Your Life”.

          …Sentence.

        • biologydave

          Hopefully it will be the series finale of this show. I want it to be a clip show of the wackiest moments of treason and duplicity with a lot of your favorite characters.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            I’m hoping we get a Ramsay Bolton ending as a series finale

    • Three Finger Salute

      South Park gave up on parodying Trump because they couldn’t keep up with the stupidity. Idiocracy was like 10 years ago and already came true. We’re still biting our nails about Canadian Bacon and the South Park invasion-of-Canada movie. I’m-a have to go back and re-watch War, Inc. Bush-era comedy, John Cusack plays a government-hired hitman (again) who gets qualms about his mission (so it’s an unofficial sequel to Grosse Pointe Blank), and Hillary Duff (yes, that Hillary Duff) plays a supermodel-turned-pop-star who’s in on the plot one way or the other. She kinda looks like Ivanka too.

      • weejee

        The Onion and Mad don’t even try to keep-up.

    • miss_grundy

      It would be better if the clown car went over a cliff….

  • Kurt Weil

    “I did not yodel with that vegan baby butthole.”

    • amrak63

      What about the e-mails you sent to it?

  • (((😸)))

    “FAKE NEWS! FAKE NEWS! FAKE NEWS! FAKE NEWS!” *aid runs up and whispers in press secretary’s ear* “What’s that?… he what?… the whole email chain?… oh…. well shït…” *clears throat. takes deep breath* “NOT ILLEGAL! NOT ILLEGAL! NOT ILLEGAL! NOT ILLEGAL!”

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i forget what phase 3 is, “hillary/obama did it!”(?)

      • calliecallie

        Profit.

    • Me The People

      It’s only illegal because of some crazy swamp law! Drain the swamp!

  • Joe Beese

    As for the president, the Russians could have revealed or threatened to reveal at any time that his son, his son-in-law, and his campaign manager met with one of their agents and colluded on how to damage Hillary Clinton. Knowing this, perhaps the president has been scared to say or do anything that is upsetting to Vladimir Putin.

    It sure looks that way, doesn’t it.

    http://www.boomantribune.com/story/2017/7/11/153649/475

  • James

    .@JoeNBC just announced during @colbertlateshow taping that he's leaving GOP. Now an Independent. Watch tonight at 11:35 on @CBS— Chris Licht (@ChrisLicht) 11 July 2017

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      We’ll see if his announcement that he’s left is as good as Max Boot’s last night on the Don Lemon Show

    • Joe Beese

      Because what the Republican Party was doing for the last 37 years was just fine. But Donald Jr. is really too much.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        better late than never, I guess. But yeah, his tolerance for underhanded bullshit is pretty fucking amazing

    • Snopes Shop

      Good. Maybe he and Bernie can run for president together,

    • miss_grundy

      I could care less what Scarborough does. That asshole gave Tangerini all the free publicity that he wanted and didn’t begin to call him on anything until late in September. He and Mika are scum and human waste.

  • ExpatGirl

    So when do we learn what that secret dedicated line between the Russian bank (Alfa?) and the Trump org was used for?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I think it was just for sharing “knock knock” jokes, but I could be wrong.

      • Saxo the Grammarian

        Servers do “ping ping” jokes. I don’t know why, it’s just them.

        • Joe Beese

          In Russia, mail gets you!

        • Doug Langley

          “Ping ping.”
          “Who’s there?”
          “Hal.”
          “Hal who?”
          “Hal you ever get mixed up with a loser like Trump?”

        • Left Coast Tom

          Websocket client/servers do ping/pong jokes.

    • Thiazin Red

      The NYT declared it not a thing, so I don’t know why you’re even asking. /s

    • weejee
    • mrFawkes

      Just a secure mommyblog and recipe swap for Melania and Mrs Putin.

      • BackDoorMan

        … is there a Mrs. Putin? I was going to suggest it might be for Ivanka and Wendy Deng (BFF!)… because she was (reported at one time to be) dating Pooty-poot, but if there’s a wife in the picture, that changes everything…

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Friendly reminder to you multi-tasking libberuls – Mitch McConnell is still trying to pass some kind of health care reform tax cut bill, so keep calling your senators, especially if they are Republican, especially if they are up for reelection next year.

    Oh, and put in a good word for net neutrality also too.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I’m running out of names to call my senators.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        Have you tried Fart Biscuit? How about Douchechalupa?

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Gimme something good with “Flake” in it.

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            I like Crusty Assflake.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Bro Flake?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            He is a bit of a bro, in a creepy Mormon sort of way.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I like Ms. MLG’s suggestion. Or you could just call him a Useless, Worthless, Australopithecine.

            Of course, he will point out he’s not from Australia.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Dandruff Flake?

        • OutOfOrbit

          Isnit past you bedtime?

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            It’s 2pm here. So, yes, a nap is way overdue!

          • OutOfOrbit

            Is that behind US or ahead of…oh, you are on a US state that is sideways from the rest of US.

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            6 hours earlier than the east coast, where I’m from. We don’t do daylight savings time like the rest of the US, so when time changes there again, the difference will go to 5 hours, instead of 6.

          • OutOfOrbit

            So I am ahead of you WOO HOO

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            You live in the future. Don’t tell me what happens!

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Dammit, Slut Camp is sounding better and better.

          • suziq

            Time works the other way for Hawaii, maybe a mid-afternoon nap?

      • Ωbjectifier

        Panamanian strong man Juan McCain is one of my faves.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Ooooh. I like it.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Hanoi John
          Rand Appalling
          Carnival Cruz

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        Former Senator! #2018

      • Opalescent Riddles

        Fuckhead McFuckface is always appropriate.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          You can never go wrong with the classics!

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Big Nothing is my new Dead-style hippie jam band.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Okay, even if I buy the excuse that Donnie Dimwit can’t law because he’s new, Paul Motherfucking Manafort is no know-nothing punk kid. He’s been involved in high-level political consulting since the Ford Administration. He’s lobbied for Mobutu, Ferdinand Marcos, the Ukrainians, Savimbi — he knows a little about the rules of dealing with foreign agents. It’s a dumb excuse for Junior; it’s downright insulting to use it for the campaign.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Jesus, what homicidal foreign psychopath HASN’T hired this motherfucker?

      • Joe Beese

        Idi Amin wouldn’t meet his price.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          “I’ve burned through all the available foreign psychopaths. Now I’ve been reduced to shilling for a homicidal domestic psychopath.”

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        He was crushed when he couldn’t get Grand Moff Tarkin on the phone.

    • OrG

      Yet the trumpanzees will swallow it hook, line and sinker.

    • Covfefe

      Ignorance? That’s an excuse?

      • Stulexington

        Only if you’re rich, and Republican.

      • BackDoorMan

        … if ignorance is an excuse, a lot of people owe me a lot of apologies. And a pardon or two. Just sayin’…

    • suziq

      For some reason, they are not talking about the Manafort part because yes he should have known better, and did, and didn’t tell them to knock it off. He probably was all for it. And I do believe they are all know-nothing dimwits besides him but I don’t think using “I am a idiot” as your excuse is very good if you are also saying “Oh sure, we can run the most important country in the world ever, no problemo!” Just vote for us to do the greatest job ever!!1!!!!1
      Because it isn’t really working out so well, is it?

  • Three Finger Salute

    Q: What does Melania call her sexytime with Trump?

    A: “A waste of 20 minutes”

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Whoa! That’s about 19:30 minutes too long

      • calliecallie

        That’s what she said.

      • h4rr4r

        No, she is including the time she spends vomiting and showering. Never clean.

      • Stulexington

        19:30 is the showering to cleanse the slime from her body.

    • weejee

      Isn’t that like 40 times tRump’s sexytime reality?

      • Three Finger Salute

        Now that’s what I call sloppy seconds.

        Hey-O!

    • Me The People

      I take it you’re talking about the grand total since they were married?

    • DirtyHippyLiberal

      ew.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      A waste of 20 minutes or a waste of 90 seconds?

    • miss_grundy

      A: Eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwww

    • BackDoorMan

      … 2 minutes X Trump math = 20 minutes. He’s trained her well.

  • Me The People

    “I was actually agitated about it”

    Maybe Don Jr expected some juicy ‘info’ on Hillary but instead got a preview showing of the pee tape and a “congrats you are all now the property of Vladimir Putin?”

  • Ilgattomorte

    With the release of these emails, the Trumps are obviously making the case that there was no collusion because they didn’t get any information. Maybe they wanted to collude, but the Russians wouldn’t collude with them, so Ipso Facto, Habeas Corpus, Ecco Domani … innocent! It’s gonna work out great.

    It reminds me of that time my wife caught me naked, on top of a crack whore. She said, “My God! You’re having sex with a crack whore!”.
    I said, “No Darling. Luckily you stopped us before anyone could orgasm, so there’s no sex and, gratefully our love will conquer all”. That worked out great too!

    Well … I mean the visitation worked out great, but we could have done better on the property settlement.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      I’m guessing she got custody of the whore.

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    I just want your word on one thing right now, Wonkette. Promise, and pinky swear, that if there are photos of Teh Donny doing Russian pee-pee stuff, we never have to see them. Never. I’m serious.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      I want the 3-D IMAX, dammit.

      I may have a few issues.

      • h4rr4r

        Had better be 3d 4k imax.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I say this with love. That’s just wrong. In all the ways.

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          I appreciate all the thoughts and prayers.

          Now, where are my goggles?

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I specialize in thoughts and prayers. For what? well, we have rules.

          • AJ Milne

            You know how this works. Those do nothing.

      • hudson srinivasan

        i looking for an electron microscope in anticipation.

    • Delu

      I do believe you’ll need to close your eyes when they come out.

    • miss_grundy

      Nooooooo! I want to see the pictures and the videotape. (Or digital media.)

      • Three Finger Salute

        Betamax?

  • calliecallie

    Valerie Bertinelli needs to play the Russian lawyer lady in the movie they make of this.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dc2c473a74520af71040a9c496066c012c1a8e34495defa9d5b0302ade19e6fe.jpg

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Oh, no, not Valerie Bertinelli. That horrible woman who became the scourge of scientology once they bounced her.

      No?

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e9a3d8a428d4c0177e489786da3dbbace2eaa71c556a6cd6e36ce1d6efdf754c.jpg

      • Three Finger Salute

        I don’t understand, why is she horrible if her intent was to expose the realities of the cult? They didn’t bounce Leah, she left voluntarily, and Kirstie Alley put whatever the Xenu equivalent of a fatwa is on her head.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          She existed before she left scientology.

      • miss_grundy

        That’s Leah Remini, the ex-Scientologist. Valerie Bertinelli played the younger daughter in “One Day At a Time”.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Yeah. I think she’d be a good choice.

      • calliecallie

        I accept that casting.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Wait, so in his interview with Lumpy, Don Jr. admitted that he intended to meet with Russian agents to get dirt. So conspiracy at the least!

    • ariel_gee_398

      We thought Donnie was hiring the worst possible lawyers. Then Junior showed up. If this is on the advice of counsel, it’s baffling.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        He doesn’t seem to understand that you aren’t innocent simply because you are too stupid and inept to successfully pull off the crime

        • Covfefe

          John McCain says this thing is a centipede. Lots more shoes to drop. And, stupid or not, Junior had help from Putin. So I’m assuming the whole thing was successful.

        • BrendaKay

          Ignorance is bliss!

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Until they pull out the handcuffs and tell you to put your hands behind your back.

      • AJ Milne

        He’s trying to get ahead of the story. Figures it’s going to break anyway, hopes by announcing it himself to get spin control. Too _some_ degree, forced move, that’s all.

        … but betting: that’s only part. The interesting question for me is: _what_ is the scope past this? He’s going to try to insist it all should be legal. Who might he be shielding by drawing fire like this?

        My money’s on Donnie now. Enough smoke for me, anyway.

        • suziq

          I think the NY Times was going to publish the emails so he beat them to it. I want to know how they got his emails and also-Lock Him Up!!

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        The only way any of this makes any sense is if he plans to sing like a canary in exchange for some form of immunity. Whoa if true!

        • Left Coast Tom

          Aren’t folks supposed to cut a deal before tweeting out handing over all the evidence?

          • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

            Maybe it’s a demonstration of good faith? I’m reaching here, I suppose. I thought attorneys generally advised their clients to STFU.

          • miss_grundy

            You would think so. But look at the Tangerine Toddler’s attorneys or his doctor. These people do not inspire confidence.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            The Trumps like to shake up the system.

          • miss_grundy

            Hopefully, the system will begin to shake them up very soon.

          • Komsumverweigerer Ron

            … DAMN.
            – DJT

          • BackDoorMan

            … have you seen the types of “deals” the Trumps are famous for? The relative few that have actually worked out are more ones of lucky coincidence than any sort of expertise in the field. Then there are the failures… those are too numerous to list here.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        I think it was on advice of the voices in his head. Or the voices in his hair.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Well, remember the old saying, “A fool who represents anybody named Donald Trump has a fool for a client.”

    • BackDoorMan

      … except that Shitstain Jr. said… “I didn’t get any dirt, so no collusion, and no conspiracy”. Yes, this is what passes for logical thought in the Trump brain. Obviously, the concept of “intent” is lost on them. Among so many other concepts. “I didn’t intend to bankrupt that poor contractor, I just didn’t want to pay my bills”. Consequences – how do they work?

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    With so much treasonous help from the Russians, does anyone seriously claim Donald Trump is the legitimate president? It’s almost as if Trumpy was born in Russia or Kenya.

    • mrFawkes

      I have a running bet with 10 friends–$20 buy in–that if any of us utter the P-word in front of trump’s name you’re out of the money. We are down to 3 of us. I’m gonna win this thing.

      • Les Appentis De la résistance

        Is the p-word Pee?

        • mrFawkes

          No. Nor is it prick, pussy, pussface, pimpletits, pomegranateface, prunepanties or Putinfluffer.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Sweet Jesus on a Breadstick! “Putinfluffer” is abhorrent. And definitely should be a thing.

          • suziq

            Ah, you didn’t say “pussygrabber” is that it?

          • Opalescent Riddles

            Precedent. It’s gotta be precedent.

          • BackDoorMan

            … is it Predisent? If so… “I’m OUT!”

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Putin?

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      if the guy projected any more he’d be running an IMAX, so, yes.

    • miss_grundy

      The Republicans, just like their candidate, will never admit their error because to do so would show weakness. Of course, these people have already demonstrated weakness of mind and weakness of character for voting and supporting a man who thinks treason is just fine.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    not ruin the reverly, but WUT?

    “ST. JAMES, Minn. (AP) — A Minnesota man who shot and killed a suspected burglar was sentenced Tuesday to 90 days in jail by a judge who said the homeowner opened fire “out of fear and maybe some stupidity.”

    David Allen Pettersen, 65, of Madelia was sentenced in Watonwan District Court after pleading guilty earlier to dangerous discharge of a firearm. He originally was charged with manslaughter.

    Pettersen also received a one-year prison sentence, which was stayed, two years’ probation and 100 hours of community service, the Mankato Free Press (http://bit.ly/2sNfScd ) reported.

    Pettersen fatally shot 19-year-old Nicolas Embertson of Madelia on Jan. 28 when he fired at a vehicle that was fleeing from his home. Two others in the car have been sentenced on burglary counts. One of the others said they had intended to burglarize Pettersen’s home.”

    ——–
    Not sure about Minn, but these are from my criminal law notes about texas:
    “i. You can use deadly force to recover the property. (The guy is running away with stolen property). If: (this is all fact specific)
    1. They’re fleeing immediately.
    2. And it is reasonable that there is no other means to recover the property. (Maybe it’s a complete stranger, you have no idea where they’re going, you can’t follow them, you can’t call the police)
    3. Trying to recover the property would expose the person to the risk of serious bodily injury.”

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      ah:

      “Pettersen said an uninvited person on his deck had frightened him in the early morning. He said he grabbed his gun and went outside into his driveway where he said a car rushed at him.

      “It was obvious the driver was trying to run me down,” Pettersen said.”

      • h4rr4r

        How could they be trying to run him down and fleeing?

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          pulling out of the driveway, facing either direction, aiming at him? dunno.

    • Me The People

      Sanctity of life my fucking arse

    • ariel_gee_398

      See, you have to understand that the shooter in this instance wasn’t a cop, and therefore his fear was not justification for fatally shooting someone.
      (Also, that is very state specific and most states that I know about take the view that you absolutely cannot use deadly force to recover property.)

    • h4rr4r

      WTF!

      So he shot at people fleeing from his home.

      That’s legal in TX? It’s stuff, your insurance will pay for it! No one needs to die for stuff.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      It’s totally ok to shoot someone in the back if you see them fleeing your house with your smart phone. Got it.

      • miss_grundy

        Wouldn’t it have been better to call 911 and have the police chase down the suspect? And was the judge on drugs?

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          I didn’t do the sarcasm thing very well. Maybe the Texas law originated with the possibility that thieves were rustling cattle and fleeing with your livelihood, because that’s how it could go down.
          Personally I believe that people, even lowlife burglars, are more important than things, and also that’s why there’s insurance.
          Do not, however, under any circumstances attempt to flee with one of my elderly senile cats.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      “Stupidity” is now a real defense for felony actions? And how does that work as a defense for idiotic statements from the bench?

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      There was no burglary. The other two were not sentenced on “buglary counts” as it says in the story, but rather Conspiracy to Commit Burglary. Thus, there was no property to recover and no immediate threat to Pettersen. He took the law into his own hands and shot a fleeing trespasser — as opposed to an assailant.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        ah!
        more reasons I don’t lawyer. ; )

    • suziq

      Unless I missed it, the most important fact in sentencing is always: How much pigment was in his skin tone?

  • tehbaddr

    Steele Dosser would be a great pr0n name, just saying!

    • Three Finger Salute

      “The name’s Dossier. Steele Dossier.”

      (porn-groove remix of Bond theme)

      • Thiazin Red

        FYI there is a real album that exists called Sex Mob Does Bond.

        • Three Finger Salute

          #Rule34 !

  • TootsStansbury

    I hate the GOP. I hate what they’ve done to my country and to the world. I hate everything they stand for. They are lying, hypocritical, thieving, mean, racist, misogynistic, traitorous, assholes. They are the assholes of the world. They want oppression and death of their enemies. They would destroy any part of the earth that doesn’t immediately support them. They are against all that is good in the world, they hate good. I feel bad for hating but these are hateful, ugly people.

    May they wake one day and return to humanity.

    • h4rr4r

      Don’t hold back, tell us how you really feel.

    • Three Finger Salute

      But how do you really feel about them…?

    • Sedagive ’em Hell

      I second that emotion.

    • OrG

      Me too.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Yep.

    • TJ Barke

      Ditto.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Yes. But I think that “return to humanity” ship has already sailed.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      The longer this goes on, the deeper they sink. I don’t think there’s a decent one of them. Not one with any principles, and especially not their leaders.

    • amrak63

      The word “return” implies that at one time, they were actually human. Evidence?

      • SisterArtemis

        Oh, I remember the day. My family, staunch Democrats down to their core, voted for Dan Evans for Washington State Governor back in the day, and were damn proud about it too. For crapsake, the GOP had a liberal wing.

        But we don’t have those types of Republicans anymore, from what I can see.

    • La forza del resistino

      As a former waitperson at GOP hangouts, bad tippers too.

      • Sedagive ’em Hell

        Taker!

    • redarmyzombie

      Oh, I stopped trying to give fair consideration to these fucks a *long* time ago. It really is wasted on them…

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      And damn the Conservative Party of Canada for wanting to be Just Like Them.

  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    You guys are looking at it all wrong.

    It’s totally worth selling America out the Russians if it means that – finally – millions of Americans will go bankrupt and die of preventable diseases, gay people won’t be able to get married, women become second class citizens, we lose our public lands to private industry, the endangered species act is destroyed, environmental protections are gutted, not-white folks are prevented from voting (thereby ensuring a GOP majority for ever), and America loses her standing as a superpower and becomes a rogue state and a laughingstock. I mean, isn’t that worth a little treason?

    Wait, what.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      We strive for a world that could be. They long for a world that never was.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      What’s worse is, I believe the Republican leadership KNOWS this, and actually WANTS it, even the last part, as long as they can keep some power and wealth. They are the real villains in this horrible little morality play.

      • amrak63

        Never forget, many of our fat cats traded with the Axis in WW2, even after Pearl Harbor. Treason is an old custom with them.

      • Sedagive ’em Hell

        It’s our fellow Americans who seem to want this. Too many of them.

        And they can’t plead ignorance any more. They took the last train to Crazy Town, then they blew up the tracks.

        • amrak63

          Once again, Tsar Vlad wants to thank the Stupid White Folks of Real Murka for making his job so much easier.

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          Crazy Misogynistic Bigoted Town, you mean

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      And somewhere in Washington DC, Mitch McConnell just jizzed his pants. Twice.

    • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

      Susan Sarandon, is that you?

  • Picabo

    And nobody flinched down by the arcade
    And the burglar alarm’s been disconnected,
    And the newsmen start to rattle
    And the cops are telling jokes about some whorehouse in Seattle
    And the fire hydrants plead the fifth amendment
    And the furniture is bargains galore
    But the blood is by the jukebox on an old linoleum floor
    And what a hot rain on forty-second street
    And now the umbrellas ain’t got a chance
    And the newsboy’s a lunatic with stains on his pants, ’cause
    ‘Cause small change got rained on with his own thirty-eight

    Tom Waits

  • La forza del resistino

    Donald: ‘My son is a quality and transparent person.’
    These are some of the same words you’d hear in a Saran Wrap commercial.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
    • La forza del resistino

      She caught a wily trumpfish jr.?

    • Ωbjectifier

      Fly rod FTW! Maybe she’s a little hetero curious? A guy can dream, right?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I’m guessing Rachel is a catch-and-release advocate.

      • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

        Not this time.

  • Wild Cat

    O look. Evangelical loon John Smoltz is so fucking senile he has to put a US flag on his lapel to remind him what country he scruffed the ball in.

  • tehbaddr

    OK, ready for trans-lunar injection burner, roger that?

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      You can roger whatever you want, no judgement.

      • tehbaddr

        YOU! You stay away from my oscillation over-thruster!

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          Braggart.

          • tehbaddr

            My friends at YoyoDyne sent it to me. NO! You cannot see it!

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Inject this!….

      • Rasilom

        Rogering is always good when two consentual adults consent to it.

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          Or three.

          • Rasilom

            Oh hell, Up to 16 or 20 what the fuck do I care. Please just send me.an invite.

          • tehbaddr

            Braggart!

        • tehbaddr

          Rodger that!

    • Three Finger Salute
  • Me The People

    From July 24th 2016. Always interesting to watch someone lie when you absolutely know they are lying. The mendacity on display here is something else.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GPTGKi2-sA

    • OrG

      What a piece of shit, apologies to shit.

    • miss_grundy

      Son of a bitch projects just like his father….

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Just got back from scoozing down the river with my 3.5 horsepower Mercury. Mrs. Toomush does not think root beer floats with Mount Gay are tasty. I beg to disagree. After all, it’s my berthday….

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Happy berthday!

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Thenks!….

    • Ezio

      Happy birthday!

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      happy birthday- and also too, 3.5hp will barely run a lawnmower

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        It took hours – but it was mostly a no-wake zone, so I snoozed a lot…

    • Ωbjectifier

      Get a little money
      Tell you what I do
      Go downtown
      Buy a Mercury or two

      • Nothing like a little Lindley….or a lot. Pleemheads unite!

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Whew! Motorheads!….

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        Crazy ’bout a Mercury.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Are there no statutes about drinking and boating? Happy birthday, scofflaw!

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Only if you get caught….and really, what’s an adult root beer float or two…?

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Trolling, were you?

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        No hooks! You’re the hook!….

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

          I always pack my big bobber in my tackle box.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            Braggart!…

          • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

            Turnabout is fair play.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            I thought you’d never notice….

          • Rags

            Chantilly lace and a pretty face, pony tail hanging down……oh. never mind.

    • Suse

      Cheers, Toomush! Try a Guinness float with coffee ice cream!

      • Left Coast Tom

        …or combine ingredients with a Kahlua float…

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Sounds doable! Thanks!…

    • redarmyzombie

      Yes, but will you cry if you want to?

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        I’m in the NO CRY zone….

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      It is? Happy berthday! I had no idea you had ever been docked!

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        docked, loaded, and soon to be bedded…

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          lucky barstid…

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            Fingers crossed…

    • Rasilom

      Happy Bearthday!!!!

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Ur too sine…..

    • Happy birthday Toomush! Mount Gay and root beer in the tank is worth 4, maybe 4.5 horsepower, for what it’s worth.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        (revs engine)!…..

    • Sedagive ’em Hell

      And many more.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Well, hopefully a few. Pretty sure most of them are behind me, though…

    • Mike Steele

      Congrats! Drinks are on you:)

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Mostly in me at this point….

    • Three Finger Salute

      Feliz aniversário!

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Aclamaciones!…(lifts glass, hopefully not alone)…

        • Three Finger Salute

          De nada! Sou portuguesa-americana, não espanhola. Os dois idiomas são muito parecidos. Portugal foi uma parte de Espanha.

          O meu aniversário é vinte e nove de Fevereiro.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            You know, I have an app that will turn that into English, but it’s too late for such things, as the Walrus said to the Carpenter….and besides, we’ve eaten every one…

      • miss_grundy

        Salud! Felicidades!

    • Opalescent Riddles

      Pls post pics of boat.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Yeah….this boat, see….well, I’ve had Trouble for about thirty years now, got her used, just a 12 foot aluminum open fishing boat. But if you pile up enough pillows and put up an umbrella, Mrs. Toomush looks like some Arabic concubine in the hull…

    • mrFawkes

      I used to make power shakes of root beer, rum and rum-ripple ice cream. And a tinge of hash oil.

      • HorseChestnut

        I miss rum ripple. That sounds delicious.

      • redarmyzombie

        You, sir, are the hero we deserve…

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          That’s probably about right – I’m sure none of us deserves much…

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        What? I’m missing an important ingredient?!!! Waiter!….

    • SisterArtemis

      Happy International Toomush Day!

    • DrBigHead

      Its important to have at least two live wells on the boat. One for the fish, one for the beer. Or two for the beer and pretend you are fishing.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        You put fish in those things? Ewww, that would make the Bass Ale slippery!…

        • DrBigHead

          That’s why you gotta remember which is which. Walleye aren’t too happy when you try to take their heads off with a bottle opener.

    • Jamespuck

      Happy Day to you. Im more of the Mount Gay with ginger beer and lime. Its Dark and Stormy up and over here.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        I’ve started to omit the ginger beer….it’s the only sipping rum I know….

        • Jamespuck

          So its only Dark but not stormy?

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            It was a Dark and Smooth night…(that’s all the farther I got)….

    • TootsStansbury

      Happy birthday but root beer and Mount Gay sounds pretty gross. Unless you’re enjoying the floats and sipping the rum separately.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        That’s what Mrs. Toomush said….

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Hippy birdy

      • Rags

        Two ewes

    • Beanz&Berryz

      My preference is a 12 hp diesel and a 4′-6′ keel.

    • grindstone

      Evinrude or GTFO, but happy birthday a day late anyway!

      • Opalescent Riddles

        Pretty sure someone will have to mention that they’ve got a boat and a big Johnson.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Root beer floats are one of humankind’s great accomplishments. By adding rum, you are merely joining the long march towards an even greater, nobler civilization.

  • Wild Cat

    Aaron Judge is being Jeterized.
    Like the latter, he must be nonthreatening to white patriarchs, unlike Obama.

    • Wild Cat

      C’mon, Wild Cat. Jeter is a saint. He’d never cheat or expose himself to shady people like Jeb Bush.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      The Ghost of Kevin Maas waves hello from the doorway of the Hall of Fame.

    • Jamespuck

      Remember that time ARod was Jeterized? Never mind. Go Sox. Yankees suck.

    • Persistent Demme

      He is a stunning talent.
      We’ll see who’s threatened by him.

  • Zippy W Pinhead
    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      He’s so smarmy. Really fits in well with the rest of them, frankly.

    • Thiazin Red

      The problem with his stupid idea is that there is no good context.

  • Ezio
  • I’m sure it’s been discussed already but there is a conspicuous absence of “fake news” tweets from trump considering it was his own damn son making the news.

    • Wild Cat

      They can’t pull the “fake kerning—forged document” shit either, unlike the last set of GOP thugs.

  • Is it bad that i am considering steaming Rachel’s show over mobile on my bus ride home tonight?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Patience, grasshopper.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Nope. I don’t have the cable so don’t watch here anymore but I’m planning on streaming tonight. I’m celebrating, dag nabbit.

    • Suse

      Grilling is tastier than steaming. Just sayin’.

  • Komsumverweigerer Ron

    So, thoughts: now that the investigation is leaping up the food chain, who’ll be the first weasel who rats on his buddies? Who will be the first to think, ‘I’m too pretty/rich/white to go to jail?’

    • mrFawkes

      G. Gordon Liddy?

    • OrG

      Jared.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        Yep, cause he used to visit Pops regularly when he was in the slammer so he’ll know, really know, just how much it sucks.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Jared. His preppie ass would roll to save himself.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        His dad already went. Jared doesn’t want to follow in his footsteps I’m sure.
        I don’t have the linky but supposedly Flynn is also having a case of WTF was I thinking? And not just wanting to save his ass.

    • Wild Cat

      The fucking taco bowl.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      This whole Trump thing sounds like a good plot basis for the next Saw movie.

      • James

        This whole Trump thing sounds like an unbelievable plot – no Hollywood production company would have bought this. “Scandal” and “House of Cards” are more realistic.

        • Everrett Fanuelli

          That’s why it is a Saw plot. Those plots are pretty unbelievable.

    • biologydave

      AOT, K

    • Covfefe

      Junior was the first to rat on his buddies.

      • Left Coast Tom

        Junior was the first to rat on his buddies himself.

        FIFY.

        • Covfefe

          Jared and Manafort also too.

          • Left Coast Tom

            True, but Manafort’s apparently going to make the prosecution prove he read the email only so far as the meeting time/place yet somehow failed to read the subject line.

            L’il Donnie Junior isn’t even doing that.

    • redarmyzombie

      Genghis Khan?

      Oh wait, sorry, wrong meme…

    • DrBigHead

      Oh come on, do you really think it won’t be Donald Sr. himself?

      • SisterArtemis

        I’m with you, though I would imagine any testimony he gives will be a mix of what happened, and what he wants to portray in order to make himself look good.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      In a gigantic plot twist, Ivanka will be the puppetmaster and everyone else will fall. This will be her revenge for the incests.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Hopefully she goes Full Cersei.

      • jesterpunk

        It might be Tiffany, she hasnt been seen the whole time. So Ivanka will pull off her mask and reveal its been Tiffany the whole time.

      • redarmyzombie

        Tiffany. It will be Tiffany’s revenge!

        • jesterpunk

          “Dad you said my breasts are small, now you get to have someone play with your breasts in prison.”

    • Me The People

      Weasel libels! Seriously – weasels are adorable little creatures.

      https://youtu.be/ODEUK5sB5vE?t=52s

      • Beautiful Soup

        Q: what’s the difference between a stoat and a weasel?
        A: one is weaselly distinguishable, the other is stoatally different.

    • artem1s

      Bannon, definitely Bannon. unless Pence bungles it and gets overeager and thinks Jeebus will save his ass so he can eradicate all the gheys.

  • HorseChestnut

    Anything from Tom Arnold? What happened with that?

  • BuzzKill48

    I thought the Roger Sollenberger article you linked to was an excellent piece, but I disagree with him on one point. As ridiculous as the whole thing may sound, to me, it DOES sound like something Trump would do, and there may be a way to figure out if it happened. If a couple of hookers pissed all over the Presidential Suite at the Ritz Moscow, somebody had to clean that fucking mess up later to get rid of the urine smell in the room. Complete suite remodel perhaps? Replace the mattress, re-carpet, etc. Who did the work and who paid for it?

    • BosGrl

      I’m sure it was paid for by some oligarch and I’m sure they paid well for silence.

  • Mike Steele

    Explanation for using Jr. as conduit is simple. After going from manic to depressive and back again in the same sentence one too many times, Carter Page lost his spot on the A-team when handlers threatened to defect rather than talk to him again.

  • andyshelt

    So Agent Orange is soon to be confirmed as Agent Yellow.

  • Suse

    OK, which one of you wankers removed the “OLDS” category from my screen???

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot
      • Suse

        Put it back – now!

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          Heh, you know how sometimes when you take something apart you don’t quite know how to put it back together? Or there are parts left over?

          Yeah…well…ohlookatthetimegottago!

          • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

            Like, the United States government?

          • artem1s

            or the environment

    • OutOfOrbit

      This is not you grandather’s Olds.

  • bookish

    https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2017/07/he-will-always-have-reddit/533277/?utm_source=nl-politics-daily-071117

    Donald Trump Jr.’s bombshell disclosure of emails arranging a meeting with a Russian lawyer during the campaign has intensified scrutiny of Russian efforts to aid his father during the 2016 election.

    But the incident also calls attention to Trump Jr.’s position within Trump world as a bridge to the fringe elements of Trump’s support, and someone in the inner circle who is plugged into alternative information streams.

    Among the Trumps, Trump Jr. is second only to his father when it comes to Twitter presence. Trump Jr. tweets aggressively in defense of the president, and against his enemies both real and perceived. He frequently interacts with ascendant figures of the pro-Trump alternative media landscape, people like Mike Cernovich and Jack Posobiec, retweeting and amplifying their voices. As Trump Jr. has come under attack, they have returned the favor by mounting a full-scale defense of him online.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Stupid person hangs out with other stupid people. They could all come out of a Far Side cartoon. The only ones missing are Huckabees sons.

      • cmd resistor

        Maybe the sons don’t know how to type.

  • artem1s

    the release of the pee tapes will hurt the GOP as much or more than the twitler family circus. seems like there is a real push/pull going on here. every time the story starts to die down either Dolt45 or the intelligence community seem to leak some info or twit some self incriminating twits to make sure the GOP doesn’t forget that the Steele dossier is real and hanging out there. I’m hoping Dence and McTurtle are both kompromat. Ryan might have been too busy masturbating over killing the New Deal to get caught on tape with pee hookers. But if a bunch of the GOP creepies (Nunes, Chaffetz, Gowdy, etc ) go down the drain in the golden shower, I will be more than happy.

    • Michael R

      Didn’t Trump ask Comey if he had seen the tapes ?

    • Mike Steele

      Ryan, McCarthy, McMillen, Scalise, etc. all on tape last summer discussing the fact that Trump (and Dana Rohrbacher, R-CA) were in the Russians’ pockets. They chose to ‘keep it in the family’, but have known all along and should definitely go down with the ship.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      I’ve said it before, but I think the pee tapes are nothing. I think they are cover for far, far, far worse things the Russians have on tape, or simply, as someone else said, that they’ll coolly shoot him on 5th Avenue (maybe that’s where he even got the phrase) if he steps out of line.

      • artem1s

        pee or no pee, you are right. too many GOP high level creepies rolled over for Dolt45 and far too easily. Sex sells, so the prevailing theory is that it is sexual in nature. I honestly don’t care, but I do think there is something incredibly damning and it’s not just about 45. Putin wanted those sanctions dropped and got the GOP to adopt it into their platform at the convention. The real hacking/compromise story, IMO, has always been about the GOP primary and who aided and abetted Putin to get Dolt45 on the ticket in the first place. And the intelligence community started raising red flags at least as far back as Jr’s meeting.

  • Suse

    Breaking! Former GOP Congressman Joe Scarborough is quitting Trump’s Republican Party

    • jesterpunk

      He got what he wanted, GOP control of congress and the President. He can fuck right off with the rest of them.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Damned straight. He can call himself whatever he chooses. He’s been an apologist, supporter, and mouthpiece until now. Other than having Trump hurt his feelings, I see no reason to believe he won’t hop right back on the trolley.

    • Mike Steele

      Bye, Felicia…btw, we don’t want you either. Think the (alleged) felon is going to try running again as an Independent?

    • Amy!

      Interesting. It would be more impressive if it weren’t somebody who’s involved in a high-profile screaming catfight media feud with the POTUS. But it still matters, I think, that folks once incontrovertibly “conservative” and “republican” are defecting, publicly.

  • RobKanC

    I am baffled by the events today. How could anyone with half a brain put out incriminating evidence out to the public. And this guy is running our country. This feels like a elaborate prank set up by FSM himself.

    • Me The People

      Wasn’t he forced by the NYT being about to break it?

      • Suse

        The failing, fake NYT?

      • RobKanC

        Yeah. And he could’ve screamed fake news like his incompetent father.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          They had a copy of the email and they were going to print it. At that point it’s tough to keep screaming fake news.

          • RobKanC

            He would have and the traitorous right wing media would have backed him up with Faux news doing a full frontal hit piece on NYT.

          • ariel_gee_398

            A copy they believed to be true, which he then authenticated for the world by putting it out there first. There was some scintilla of deniability until he published it.

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        I’m willing to bet his father forced him to do it, so he (DJT Sr.) could save his own skin. The opposite of a decent father, just as always.

        • artem1s

          eh, they are just too stupid to understand when they are incriminating themselves. Jr. probably thought he was being clever

    • Suse

      It’s an elaborate scheme full of smoke, and mirrors, and squirrels!

      • SisterArtemis

        needz moar vegan butthurt

    • artem1s

      I have to wonder if they are just reminding the GOP that Dolt45 will take them all with him if they don’t continue to back him.

  • mrFawkes

    “I have never even heard of Donald Trump Jr.”
    “https://twitter.com/Diane_7A/status/884802661454839808

    • Me The People

      A very insignificant family member!

      • artem1s

        Fake family! Fake family!

        • Mehmeisterjr

          NO FAMILY! NO FAMILY! YOU’RE THE FAMILY!!!11,1,11!1!!!11.,

      • Suttree

        A total loser!

  • WELCOME BACK, NOTHING BURGERS!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dc494dc7e0c35fcb2105752317f310107acde540275718728a88bd547596f3f5.jpg

    {I liked the one with the little badly Photoshopped Hillary the best.}

  • OrdinaryJoe
    • Beautiful Soup

      Stolen from another commenter somewhere: they put your picture on the wall if you manage to eat this entire “nothing burger.”

  • DrBigHead

    Something rather unsettling just occurred to me. Although the idea that the Trump Jr. issue may hasten the end of the Trump presidency, I am afraid it will also prompt the republicans in congress to accelerate their agenda while Trump is still around to rubber stamp their bills. It appears that they are already stepping up their effort to repeal the ACA. If they feel they may be running out of time, what additional damage can they do? I shudder to think.

    • Suttree

      Maybe this will hasten the scientists at CERN to let us use their time machine.

    • Anna Rompage

      Seeing that lobbyists under Pence, Ryan, and McConnell are writing the legislation, and Pence is set to be the next President, there’s no need for them to rush

      • DrBigHead

        Good, albeit depressing point

    • Three Finger Salute

      Even worse: Pence is just boring enough that he won’t distract and require damage control but will still rubberstamp anything the GOP sends to his desk. I suspect this was the intent all along, to have the Pee Piper lead America to the edge, and his unassuming sidekick push us off the cliff.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    VDE Movie report: Spiderman! Go see!

    • RobKanC

      You likey?

    • It’s better than, like, the previous five Spiderman movies? Sixth time’s the charm?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        It’s got all the MCU stuff you love…humor, guest appearances by Captain America that are perfect for the context, Stan Lee being cranky, some great action sequences, teen angst, and, best of all, the villain is Batman!

        • The villain is … Batman? That’s one hell of a crossover.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            (Actually, it’s Michael Keaton, but you KNOW there’s something on the gag reel that involves the Dark Knight.)

          • Oh, okay. I GET IT!

            Actually, I like seeing Michael Keaton. . .

        • Courser_Resistance

          I saw it on Saturday and loved it. It’s very much all the good things about a teen superhero movie.

        • OutOfOrbit

          Any side-boob/butt ot thigh-brows?

          • Villago Delenda Est

            As much excitement as you get is Tom Holland showing off his six pack.

  • bookish

    AltEPA @ActualEPAFacts
    ·
    4h

    It’s interesting that he didn’t post page 4 (the incriminating email) in this thread.
    Donald Trump Jr. @DonaldJTrumpJr
    Embedded
    Here’s my statement and the full email chain

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Oh god! Jeffrey Lord’s big mis-shapen head is on CNN along with a Carly Fiorina look a like who is trying to compare Trump Jr.’s treason to Donna Brazile getting debate questions.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Did she get them from Russian Intelligence? No? Fuck off.

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        One of the right’s new talking points is that this is just like opposition research. No big deal

        • ariel_gee_398

          That does not help them – that just proves it was a thing of value. Jesus these are dumbfucks.

          • biologydave

            Exactly. It might set precedence.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          They’re getting away with it, too.

        • Count Awesome

          “Both sides do it!”

        • Funny, before they were claiming that, “OF COURSE NOT! WE DIDN’T TALK TO RUSSIANS! WHO DOES THAT?”, but now it’s all, “Oh, everybody talks to Russians in an election. It’s just a thing everyone does.”

          • Joe Beese

            That is a series without limit.

            Eventually it would be “It’s not illegal for the President to give nuclear weapons to ISIS in exchange for child porn.”

          • Joe Beese

            Whereupon Hannity would say, “Why isn’t the Fake News media reporting on Hillary Clinton’s failure to eradicate child porn?”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Both of them need to be on that rocketship to the sun.

    • Tiffany de Houston

      That Nan Hayward is as bad, if not worse, as Lord, McEnany & Jason Miller. She’s as much of a Clinton hater as Kellyanne.

  • So, went to the doctorbot, today, and the verdict is in: BRONCHITIS! Apparently, it is very cute, also, too. Which, I guess if you MUST get bronchitis, getting a cute version is better than an ugly one?

  • Michael R

    We haven’t heard from Mike Flynn in a while .

  • Me The People
  • mrFawkes
  • bookish

    Likely vote on Senate healthcare bill next week. Call on these senators to oppose.

    https://trumpcaretoolkit.org/

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Still cleaning the pee off himself, maybe.
    https://twitter.com/mattmfm/status/884935813145952257

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      I wondered why my retinas suddenly felt so fresh and clean.

      • OutOfOrbit

        retina(s(?)) you got more’n one?

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          I used to. That was before the bear attack.

          • OutOfOrbit

            Oh yeah it all comes bact to me now. Damn Island Bears.

    • Reximus
      • Me The People

        I’ll bet hat’s their DEFENCE. “He’s just a poor boy from a poor family spare him his life from this monstrosity”

        • The Wanderer

          Bismillah! No, we will not let him go!”

          • amrak63

            Oh Melania, Melania, Melania, let me go/These Russian girls have a shower put aside for me, for me, for me…

        • Everrett Fanuelli

          I think an R congressperson already said something to that effect.

    • Count Awesome

      You know who else had a bunker mentality?

      • Raan

        Nixon?

      • biologydave

        Archie and Edith?

        • Raan

          Well played.

        • Sedagive ’em Hell

          Boom!

      • gallbladder

        Does it begin with an “H?”

        • Hadrian? I thought he was more of a Pink Floyd fan. . .

          • gallbladder

            I wonder if I should buy a vowel and then solve. Nah, this is too much fun.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Howard Stambler?

      • Wild Cat

        Bruno Ganz?

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Arnold Palmer?

      • Diefenbaker?

        • ltmcdies

          LOL. LOL… but a)we are dating ourselves B) American wonketeers are running for the google

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        William Prescott?

    • akryan

      The fact that The Donald hasn’t tweeted since his idiot son’s confession tweet, makes me think that things really are looking bad.

    • Wild Cat

      They’ve child prostitution tapes on him. And Dog know how many legal-aged women he’s raped and beaten and they have that on tape.
      He’s not into scat. He probably avoids cunnilingus. He’s a germophobe.

      • Raan

        Urine is sterile.

        Just sayin’.

        • Wild Cat