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Hello! And welcome to the roundup of male absurdity that I totally promised I was gonna start doing and then kind of forgot about because other stuff was happening! I remembered it this week though, because OH BOY is there ever a lot of material to work with.

First off! BEHOLD THE DUDEROBE, the latest in #masculinitysofragile wear. Surprisingly NOT brought to you by whoever it was trying to get the “romphim” to take off, but rather by some dude with a Kickstarter.

It is a robe, but for dudes. Unlike all the other robes for men out there. You can tell that it is for dudes, because it says DUDEROBE on the hood, and the O in ROBE is a man sign. So no one will accidentally think you are a lady. Because robes are for ladies, as proven by FRANCE.

Yes, because if you wear any other kind of robe, you run the risk of this happening to you.

Because obviously, that is what all other robes look like. Unlike the dude robe, which is for dudes.

Now, as a blogger, I am very committed to #RobeLife. I support the purchasing of robes for everyone. I have like nine robes. My fella does not wear my robes, he wears the robe I got him for his birthday, that is also a robe made for men. Because robes for men have always existed anyway. They just did not have giant man symbols on their hoods.

The robe I picked out is actually better than this robe, because it is super long, and you don’t need to wear pants with it, as that is ridiculous. “No pants” is basically the whole reason for wearing a robe. That, and having a thing to wear from the shower to the bedroom.

Or like, for eating chicken standing up, next to a hot lady, like this manly man is doing.

ANYWAY! Following Trump’s tweets about Mika Brezinski, you may have thought to yourself “Who would defend this? No one could defend this, it is awful.” Well, I knew exactly who would be defending it, so I (intrepid reporter that I am) marched right on over to the the The_Donald subreddit to see how they were going to spin this into a thing that was awesome. Because that is literally what they do with everything he does that is terrible.

And lo and behold, I found this gem. From someone who clearly knows all about what women like, sexually.

Ugh, you know he wants this to be true so badly. Like, more for himself than anything else. It’s actually really amazing how desperately committed male Trump supporters are to wanting to believe that women secretly find Donald Trump sexually appealing. It’s a whole thing for them and it is very sad. Like they just really need to believe that 70-year-old men who smell like fake tanner and expired ketchup mixed with cheap cologne (probably) and who behave like eight-year-old school yard bullies are what does it for all of us.

Speaking of Reddit, over on the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit, I found this guy’s “Simple Solution To Sexual Harassment.”

After reading the last NYT article about sexual harassment, it seems to me that women want to exploit sexual attraction to flirt their way to the top, but don’t want to deal with the obvious consequences. In other words, they want to manipulate men using their sexuality, but when men express their desires they are disgusting pigs.
So my suggestion is: let’s interact with women coldly and professionally, and see what happens! (Hint: tried it, they will totally hate you and spread fake gossips about you)

YEAH. If women don’t like us complimenting their tits, just wait till we stop harassing them! And act like jerks in another way entirely! That’ll teach ’em! Then they’ll be begging for some nice sexual harassment!

One of the responses to this was particularly special.

“If men, as a collective, were to suddenly cease any and all flirtatious conduct with women entirely, we all know what the female reaction would be. They’d instantly turn into shrieking harpies, unable to handle the lack of male attention, and would immediately resort to shaming men with comments intended to emasculate and denigrate the very traits which they (the women) are supposedly attracted to.

[…]

This is feminism, folks. It’s just more giant shit tests by women, designed specifically to marginalize and destroy men, while simultaneously elevating females to positions of unlimited power with zero accountability. And this is the direction our culture has been headed for quite some time now, and there is absolutely no sign of it abating or ending anytime soon.

MUAHAHAHAHAHA! We never wanted equality after all! We just wanted men to be miserable! — all the feminists.

That particular missive, by the by, inspired another commenter to say “Take the vote from women and you get that tackled in one generation.” Guess they can dream.

Over on Return of Kings, noted-mom’s-basement-dweller Roosh V explained that women who don’t have children are “crazy” and suffering from “pseudopregnancy” like his “girlfriend’s” dog and that’s why they care about refugees.

The barren human female also displays aggression against those who threaten her “children.” If you try to take away a tennis ball of a bitch who has false pregnancy, she will attack you. The same happens if you try to “take away” the brown migrants that a human female has coveted. She will be vicious in calling you racist, fascist, literally Hitler, and whatever bad man of history that she happens to remember from her history classes in high school.

Yes, that surely does explain a lot. Except for the millions and millions of people out there who also care about refugees and are not women who have not had children. Except for that.

[Kickstarter]

Give us money, so I can buy more robes. Click below!

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  • mancityRed6

    I have never worn a robe in my life. if it’s cold, sweatpants. if it’s warm, well…yeah. TMI.

    and to all the MGTOWs out there: how can we lie about missing you if you don’t leave?

  • Canuckistanian Ron

    Now I’m confused about the difference between a gown and a robe.

  • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

    That motherfucker Roosh V is half Iranian, isn’t he? What the fuck is wrong with him, talking about “brown migrants”?

    Also, that “Dude Robe” is a fucking sweater.

    • Roadstergal

      It’s a hoodie. If you’re white, it’s perfectly safe to wear.

      • suziq

        True, they should include a warning label for people with pigment.

      • Canuckistanian Ron

        Not necessarily.
        Back when I was venturing into the US on a regular basis, if the weather was cool (ie below freezing) and precipitating, I would often wear a hoodie rather than my usual winter sweatshirt, to keep my head dry when out of the car. EVERY TIME I did I would get pulled over into secondary inspection. EVERY TIME. Sweatshirt and touque? No stops. Hoodie? Stops. And that was with my being white and at the time well into my forties.

        • Suttree

          I actually have a thing against hoodies. I generally think any guy with a hoodie on is going to be a jerk. I stopped wearing them in high school. That’s what hats are for. I stopped wearing those except for warmth or to keep welding spatter off of my head. Canadians get a pass though, My judgement is strictly reserved for Americans.

          • Lizzietish81

            I love hoodies.

            I must now break up with you.

          • Suttree

            If I had any, I would give them all to you! It’s just a guy thing, they look like they still want to be in high school. You many wear as much or as little as you like ;)

  • Ricky Gay

    Those poor dudes have been robed of their masculinity intelligence.

  • Fancy Meau-Faux

    Duderobe looks very similar to the sweats I wear most mornings already.

  • Lizzietish81

    Ah yes, saying “feminist” on reddit is like a Douche Signal.

    • To the Douche-mobile!

      • Roadstergal

        Every car in my damn neighborhood is a douche-mobile.

    • Panika MCD

      DOUCHE LIBELZ!

      these guys are never going to get close enough to a vagina to be considered for that particular epithet.

      • Lizzietish81

        Ah but, douches are not only unnecessary, they are also harmful and sell by shaming women.

        It’s an extremely apt comparison.

        • Panika MCD

          I know that, but they’re not made for cleaning out buttholes.

  • Roadstergal

    Oh, yes, call my bluff and act appropriately at work! That’ll teach me!

    • Roadstergal

      BTW, my boss is female and straight. So is her boss. And her boss. Flirting my way to the top presents unique challenges.

    • handyhippie65

      act like a professional at work? what a novel concept. it’ll never fly.

      • Ill-Advised

        Perhaps especially in places that list “professional demeanor” as a requirement. It’s a warning that all the professionals have left the building to…the kind of people who stay.

        And who now need the work done by people they are superior to, because tenure is entitlement. (Even outside academia.)

  • Mike Wallace

    So they have changed the term from “hoodie” to “duderobe”? Because that’s just a fucking hoodie.

    • Panika MCD

      I believe they’ve changed the term “tracksuit” to “duderobe”. who wants to go troll them with pictures of ladies in tracksuits?

      • Mike Wallace

        It’s a kickstarter for the revolutionary idea of a hoodie and sweats. And it will make millions. I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.

        • suziq

          And I don’t think it will make millions, it is being pretty soundly mocked. Esquire said it was stupider than the romphim which is really, really stupid.

          • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

            One of the radio stations I listen to had a side bet going between two of the morning DJs. The loser has to wear a romphim at their big summer concert event later this month.

          • handyhippie65

            it looked lame even on james bond.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          If it’s any consolation, any monies earned will be extracted from the pockets of terrible, terrible people.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        We could bury ’em in Sue Sylvester memes.

    • suziq

      Weren’t the sweat pants part of the “duderobe” too? So a hoodie and sweat pants are sold as a robe for men instead of an actual robe. For men. Nope, makes no sense.
      Then there are actual real male persons who think females are sexually attracted to Trump? Seriously? Young attractive women? Sorry guys probably not. But if you are not so old and gross a woman might be attracted to you (sooper sekret-treat her nice like a nice person would). But I know that is against all that good advice you get on reddit.
      And yes, when I was working nothing drove me more crazy than when men did not come on to me and make stupid gross comments to go along with the leering. yikes. Did these guys not have mothers?

      • Suttree

        They certainly didn’t have mothers who loved them.

        • suziq

          It really is sad but there are so many of them now and they are such assholes I find it very hard to have ANY sympathy for them.

        • Lizzietish81

          Or mothers who love them too much.

          Like Joffrey

    • Villago Delenda Est

      In the Army, this is called the “PT uniform.”

      • mancityRed6

        last I heard, in Navy basic, the blue sweatpants and sweatshirt is the “smurf suit”

    • mancityRed6

      the funny thing to me is that it’s all part of an “outfit”
      meanwhile, my sweatpants were about $10, but my good hoodie was close to $40

  • Panika MCD

    a) new rule: no “duderobes” in the non-comments. because: pants are prohibited.

    b) I’m beginning to wonder if that particular subreddit is populated by accounts owned by Tsarina Tic Tacs and his staff–if part of the job is going on there to write things about how ladies want to do sexxx things with POOTUS. I would not be surprised.

    c) why would we change the way we respond to MGTOWs? I think ignoring them is going swimmingly and see no reason to change that now.

    d) does Roosh V’s mom let him live with her because it’s the only way she can be a pseudogranny? and the only reason I know of that a dog would bite a person for taking away a tennis ball is that the person doing so is an abusive prick and should probably be in jail for it.

    • handyhippie65

      i’ve been winnie the poohing it all day. it’s hot.

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    These bros are so uncultured. Personally, one day I’m going to have a mahogany trimmed study full of pretentious books on post-modernism, I’ll sit in a plush chair drinking sherry and smoking on my pipe.

    Also, I won’t wear pants or panties under my paisley robe as per Wonkette non-comment rules.

  • Scooby

    That reminds me what ever happened to the smoking jacket?

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      These guys aren’t sophisticated enough for such an item.

    • Panika MCD

      that’s the Hugh Hefner thing the DudeRobes guy was talking about.

    • Bitter Scribe

      Guys stopped smoking. Cigars, at least.

      (The whole point of a smoking jacket was, you put it on over your regular clothes before firing up a big smelly cigar so the stink wouldn’t permeate them.)

  • The Green Bastard

    I made my dude a robe (a real one, not a hoodie w w a *Viking hood*

    • therblig

      ms. blig made me a puffy shirt. true, it was for a captain hook halloween costume when blig jr wanted to be peter pan. but, very comfy and stylish.

  • Sophia

    Double tacked more manly belt? Looks like every other belt on every other robe. Also too. You need a hidden pocket in you robe? Not sure I want to know why.

    • harryr

      to keep the roofies in presumably

    • Amy!

      For the lace handkerchief, to catch the occasional manly tear, of course.

  • Fancy Meau-Faux

    Ugh. Clicked on the links to MGTOW. All of those people are fucking awful. I do encourage them to do an experiment in ignoring women or treating them in a cooly professional manner. Try it for a year or five. I’m sure women will be grateful.

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      *sprays with disinfectant*

      Decon for three weeks, I’m afraid.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    These guys are just a bunch of losers who can’t talk to women much less have sex with a woman. This is where these guys find camaraderie, online with a bunch of like minded individuals trashing women because they don’t want to admit that they got their feelings hurt by their crush in middle school

  • janecita

    To be honest, Trump has the secret superpower to make my panties dryer than the Sahara desert. If God came up to me and said, “Janet, if you sleep with Donald Trump, there will be no more wars, hunger will disappear, and the environment will be pristine.” I will tell him, “Dear Lord, fuck off!”

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Take one for the team, Janecita.

      • janecita

        Fuck no! You do it!

        • Bobathonic

          What if he gave you a giant cactus shaped strap-on?

          • janecita

            Now you talking! I might have to say yes to that offer.

          • dlemex

            To hell with cactus shaped… A real cactus strap-on. But be sure to keep the lights off or she will give up sex for life after seeing that ass.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    Yes, boys, feminism is alllllll about YOU.

  • Nockular cavity

    You know what dudes wear robes? EVERY FUCKING BOXER EVER. Sure, go tell them they’re wearing girly clothes, duderobios.

    • Covfefe

      Doesn’t count. Boxers wear boxers under their robes.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Not mention Jedi. Robe wearing badasses since a long time ago…

      • Quite a few monks, too….. A Franciscan would feel sorry for you, and pray on your behalf.

  • DaveM

    I am a man that never had children. Can I get in on hating douche bag Roosh V too?

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      As long as you don’t try to take my tennis ball!

    • Panika MCD

      no calling him a “douche bag”. douching has to do with vaginas and the only vagina he’s ever been near is his mother’s.

      • Jamoche

        Douches, like Roosh, are things that should never go near vaginas.

        • Panika MCD

          so are bottle rockets and DudeRobes.

      • handyhippie65

        hehehehehe, that’s harsh. accurate, funny, but harsh. GOOD JOB!

      • DaveM

        Pardon my mistake. I had not considered it in that fashion. :)

      • Canned Covfefe

        Maybe not…

  • Jamoche
  • Villago Delenda Est

    Some assholes need to be gelded, and want it so bad they’ll post shit on the internet to make it known.

  • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

    See, the great thing about an actual robe is its convenience– you just wrap it, belt it, and there you have it. “Dude robe” is not convenient– you have to pull on 2 items of clothes, one over your head.
    “Dude robe” might be comfy (I like to wear sweats in the cold weather), but it’s a stupid concept for a robe.

  • Everrett Fanuelli
  • memzilla Ω

    This is precisely the right garment for the cast to wear in the new MGTOW/MRA Kickstarter movie, Unfuckable Me.

    • Ill-Advised

      (Ponders minions. Begins casting parts.)

      • (((fka_donnie_d)))

        the minions are faaaar too horrific to contemplate

  • Suttree

    I already have sweatpants and sweatshirts. Some of them even match. I refuse to bother to see how much they are charging for this crap., but I’m sure that there is a premium to tell the world that you are a douchbag.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Donald will gladly pay for that.

      Or at least be billed for it, and then not pay.

      • Covfefe

        Donald actually pays for something?

        • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

          Eastern European wives.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Do they come C.O.D.?

    • Celtic_Gnome

      I looked. Kickstarter discount, they run from $49 to $219 for the complete Duderobe set, whatever that is.

      • Suttree

        A douchebag and his money are soon parted.

  • handyhippie65

    my robe is a towel with sleeves.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Or a terrycloth slanket? :)

  • SomeBigRedDog

    Or maybe that bitch just doesn’t like you and you should stop fucking with her tennis ball. Ever think of that?

    Sorry guys, this is a sensitive subject for me.

    • Nockular cavity

      Bite ‘im!

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Dudecups — Finally, testicle protection for men.”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Um…the cup has been around for a long time.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        As has the robe…that’s the joke. Not a great joke, but a joke nonetheless.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Oh, I got the joke…it’s just that marketing copy that tries to make the old something new always makes me cranky.

      • Lizzietish81

        Haha, back when I was a kid I took Tai Kwan Do, which I sucked at, especially the sparring part, I always got my ass kicked.

        Except once, when I fought my friend Ben and my spaz kicking slipped under his cup.

        Poor guy.

        Speaking of testes, I read this this morning…

        http://nonadventures.com/2017/06/03/foul-ball/

        • Suttree

          Haha Hitlerella!

    • Jenny

      Winning kickstarter idea!

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Put a handle on it, and it doubles as a coffee cup. Innovation!

    • The Wanderer

      Sean Hannity’s chin?

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    I like robes, but if you want a masculine robe, get a post WWII smoking jacket from Asia. Silk, slick, with an embroidered animal on the back and worn by men with more balls than all these men combined will ever have!

    • Canuckistanian Ron

      Mmm, silk…

  • SomeBigRedDog

    That’s . . . . a sweatshirt.

  • Bitter Scribe

    If women don’t get to vote, does that mean they don’t have to pay taxes either?

    • Jamoche

      That happens automatically when they don’t get to work.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    speaking of robes – from a weird news from small town texas article:

    GROVES // A McDonald’s robbery went south after the thief tried to pass off a hairbrush as a handgun. Gevondis Demond Joseph, 29, demanded cash while wearing a leopard-print bathrobe and orange Crocs. According to a Facebook post by the Groves Police Department, he held the hairbrush under the bathrobe to make it look like a weapon. Joseph made off with about $130, but was arrested after a brief chase on foot.

    https://www.texasobserver.org/strangest-state-drunken-drive-thru-cocaine-granola-bars-and-pig-e-mon-police-officers/

    • suziq

      It is hard to run away in crocs!

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      So felony armed robbery and felony bad taste?

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        does it count as “armed” if it’s a hairbrush?

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          I asked that after I got mugged (the guy stuck a small block of wood in my back). Cop said if I thought it was a gun when I surrendered my property, then it doesn’t matter if it really wasn’t a gun. Still armed robbery.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            that’s what I was thinking basically.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            If I would feel some guy’s wood in my back I would also feel intimidated.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            Yup. That’s established law since forever.

            Of course, if you actually do shoot somebody, which you probably won’t be able to do with a hairbrush, you are in even more trouble.

            However, the threat is the deciding factor. Gun, hairbrush, toothbrush, ball point pen, finger. If you pretend it is a gun in a holdup, and your victim thinks you are armed, and why wouldn’t he or she think so, that was your intent it’s armed robbery.

        • Panika MCD

          there’s a lot of things you could do with a hairbrush–you could put out someone’s eye! we clearly need hairbrush control. also too: the man did appear to have arms. it’s not like he was holding that hairbrush with a flipper or prehensile tail.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        5-25 for the armed robbery, life for the bad taste.

    • John Thorstensen

      “It’s not that he requires grooming,
      guys in leopard robes, never do—ooo-ooo-ooo-hooo … “

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      “A happy meal and no one will get hurt!”

    • pstockholm

      Please tell me there’s video of the chase.

      • harryr

        Set to Yakkety-Sax

    • Bitter Scribe

      Reminds me of a Buddy Hackett joke:

      (Hand in pocket, pointing outward) “This is a fuck-up!”

      “Uh, don’t you mean a stickup?”

      “No, it’s a fuck-up! I forgot my gun!”

    • Suttree

      Was he expecting to blend into the crowd after he left the McDonald’s?

    • Canuckistanian Ron

      Your move, Florida Man.

    • Swampgas_Man

      He was hunted down by our valiant Fashion Police.

  • ariel_gee_398

    Decidedly less funny, but on the topic of absurdity and men, a story about the widow of the Congressional baseball shooter: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/01/us/congressional-baseball-shooting-death-grief.html

    He was abusive at home, and now she gets attacked in public, blamed for his actions.

    • Canuckistanian Ron

      Hands up, anyone who’s surprised at either?

      Anyone?

  • Jenny

    That isn’t a robe, it is a hoodie. A douchie hoodie that probably won’t even get them shot because it is completely stupid looking and non threatening.

    Did the guy just never learn the term hoodie, sweatshirt, or cover up, that he has to come up with “robe” to describe it?

    The fuck is wrong with these people?!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      A hoodie is not threatening unless you’ve got a melanin surplus and some skittles in the pocket.

      Then it’s Katie bar the door!

    • Suttree

      They are still in high school?

    • It’s the bastard love child of a hoodie and a smoking jacket.

  • SomeBigRedDog

    These are the guys that think woman smiling or saying good morning or being in anyway just a pleasant person is “flirting” correct?

    Ive known guys like this. You’re either a bitch or a whore so there’s no winning with them to start with.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “If a woman says Good Morning, that means you let her stay the night. Rookie mistake.”
      — Pick Up Artist who is definitely in no way still a virgin

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I just think she’s being pleasant, and it’s not a come on.

      But then again, I have no delusions that I’m Tony Stark.

    • shivaskeeper

      For the love of God never listen to them bitch about a woman being in charge of them. They’re all cunts.

      Edit. Fucking auto-correct.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Be thankful these fine male specimens will not be rearing any offspring.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They wouldn’t be doing the actual rearing in any case.

      • SisterArtemis

        Much to the benefit of any children in the vicinity.

    • handyhippie65

      that is the only positive in all of this.

  • FauxAntocles

    Geez, there are a lot of sad people in the world.

    • Canuckistanian Ron

      Hilarious, innit?

      • H0mer0

        “where do they all come from?”

  • snigsy

    As a shrieking harpy, it is my life’s mission to marginalize and destroy men while simultaneously elevate shrieking harpies to positions of unlimited power. It’s a zero-sum game, forever and ever.

    • SisterArtemis

      A bit noisy, though. We should work on that.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        I get told to be quiet and calm down. I get tired of it. I’m not that loud. Most men don’t seem to have much of a tolerance for outspoken women who are not going to fuck them.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      I for one welcome our shrieking harpy overlords.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I’ve marginalized men to such an extent that I seem never to interact with them at all. Other than my housemate, I seriously have no idea where all the men are, because I certainly never see one.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    I know someone who would love this. He’s your preznit by the way.

    Oh PS: my apologies for my fellow male shenanigans. we ain’t all like that.

    • SisterArtemis

      Was just thinking about your last comment: the guys Robyn so bravely catalogs for our viewing pleasure probably think that all the other guys (except the cucks, of course)…(and maybe the brown guys? sometimes?) anyway, they seem to think that all the other guys who count for anything in their miserable brains concur with their weird thoughts – be it that 45 is a hotty who all women wet themselves over, or that women who work with or for immigrants and refugees are suffering from shriveled up uterus disease, or whatever.

      But my experience is that most men don’t think like that. Oh, they might have a weird notion here and there, stored in the back of their noggins, but bring that weirdness out in the light of day and the view of logic, and *poof* myth dispelled, assumption blown apart, and on to being a better human man person. Which, by the way, the Wonketariat seems quite blessed to have many.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Well maybe it’s because I have always communicated easier with women and men not afraid of showing their sensitive side than with, as a Canadian girl I used to date, referred to as ‘steroid monkeys.”

      • handyhippie65

        if dumpy were poor, he’d be one lonely old dude.

  • Nockular cavity

    Here’s something worse than a duderobe: Dead Andrew Breitbart OUT IN FUCKING PUBLIC wearing a snuggie. Never forget!
    http://occupyforaccountability.org/sites/default/files/u6/andrew-breitbart-sucks.jpg

  • The Wanderer

    “But secretly them young beautiful panties are soaked.”

    Yeah, as the women pee themselves laughing at the dudebros.

  • msanthropesmr
    • John Thorstensen

      I got cozy little footies on my mind, myself.

  • eyelashviper

    Speaking of macho stuff, Corey Lewandowski, that warmn fuzzy piece of mierda, has just compared Donnie Cockwomble to Ernest Hemingway…

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/07/corey-lewandowski-compares-trump-to-ernest-hemingway/?comments=disqus

    • Panika MCD

      I thought POOTUS didn’t drink…or like cats.

      • Nockular cavity

        Or fishing…or being in a war…or writing well…

        • Panika MCD

          doesn’t like Cuba either.

    • The Wanderer

      I’ll start believing that if Trump buys a shotgun and a ranch in Idaho.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Hemingway’s ghost is en route to kick Lewandowski’s ass for such a stupid comparison.

    • ariel_gee_398

      If Hemingway had somehow survived the gunshot to the head, maybe…

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Oh puh-LEEEZE.

    • The Old Man and the Pee

      A Farewell to Tiny Hands

      • Mehmeisterjr

        The Scum Also Rises

        The Snowflake of Hillaryjaro

        A Moveable Beast

        For Whom the Smell Trolls

      • Mehmeisterjr

        To Tweet and Tweet Not

        Men without Women (Except Gold-Diggers and Anyone Else They Can Catch by the Pussy.)

        A Schlongable Feast

        In Our Grime

    • handyhippie65

      yea, i’m sure drunk tweets from hemingway would still be more entertaining than dumpy’s.

    • Canuckistanian Ron

      Because hey, sure, why not? It’s not like anything else he’s ever said has made any more sense.

  • DerrickWildcat

    Bad idea. It’d get cat hair all over it.

  • Jamoche

    “let’s interact with women coldly and professionally”

    Oh, heavens no, not that! And please don’t throw me in that briar patch.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Yes, I mean it’s such a strange concept – treating a professional workplace like a professional workplace instead of a singles bar. Strange concept. Never catch on.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      One can act professional without being cold. I do it all the time. I want people to feel like they’re part of the team, that they’re needed, and that I want their input, no matter how silly they might THINK it is.

      • Jamoche

        I doubt they can even manage the professional half of it.

  • mancityRed6
    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot
      • Suttree

        That’s a drinking robe.

        • mancityRed6

          tomato, tomahto

          • Old Man Yells at Cloud

            Potatoe
            — Dan Quayle

        • Canuckistanian Ron

          Why yes, thank you, I’ll have another.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Specifically, Duderobe

    • handyhippie65

      now that is a dude robe.

      • H0mer0

        “That’s just your opinion, maaan!”

        • handyhippie65

          at least i didn’t pee on the rug. it ties the room together.

    • motocat

      The Dude would never wear those robes!

    • CindyinEncinitas

      THAT’s a robe, mothafucka.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      THAT is a dude in a robe.

  • The Wanderer

    Since I like going about at home without pants, and live in Florida, I leave my thick and woolly bathrobe in the closet and wear a pair of baggy track shorts. It’s an acceptable compromise.

    • mancityRed6

      yeah, but it gets cold in Kansas, especially when I save on the heating bill by keeping the apt at 60. but a robe wouldn’t help for that.

  • HazooToo

    That is a hoodie. That is a fucking HOODIE. Not a fucking robe. How do men manage to “invent” something that has existed for over a decade?!

    • SisterArtemis

      I’d like you to meet my friend Christopher Columbus…

      • handyhippie65

        ten million upfists fer that one!

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      And then call it the wrong thing.

    • Swampgas_Man

      No, it can’t be a hoodie because these guys are clearly white and nobody is shooting them for wearing it.

  • William

    WTF is up with dressing gowns? Is it like a preamble to getting dressed? With a little more effort you could just get dressed. It’s like when I was in the Navy. I was always told to stand by to do shit. Why not just tell me to do whatever shit we were supposed to do. Standing by is like a dressing gown. Also I’m low on Tequila. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7453efe7d880d1f98ba98e8237d956e0119c834d6b7a40f15ace82f590a438b4.jpg

    • handyhippie65

      i’m sayin. it’s enough to get dressed once.

      • Shanzgood 6 Days

        That’s why I like to sleep in my clothes.

        • handyhippie65

          the term “bed head” takes on a whole new meaning.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          So tedious to get cleaned up every day and then all the choosing. Fuck. It.

    • H0mer0

      who wore it better?
      [I knew Dubya’s seekrit service bodyguard soshully and when I asked him about the lovely and stylish tunic, he told me that Dubya did not want to wear that, wanted to know what Putin and Fox were going to wear, and was going to wear a suit instead but they urged him to comply with the “custom.” On the elevator ride down, my friend smirked at him at which time he threatened to kick the ass of the next guy who mocked him. ]

    • coozledad

      Shittiest “Anna and The King ” ever.

  • Panika MCD

    I thought Congresscritter Blake Farenthold had already taken out a patent for DudeRobe…?

    https://i.ytimg.com/vi/7mDyMTnxDHw/hqdefault.jpg

    • mancityRed6

      I’m wondering where he found a onesie in that size with ducks all over it.
      actually, no. no, I’m not. and I’m not even going to think of googling that.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        technically, I believe those are duckies, not ducks.

        ; )

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        The Congressional store keeps a large stock of them — same aisle as fetish diapers, wide stance shoes, rent boys and dominatrices

  • Swampay

    DUDE! IT’S NOT EVEN A FUCKING ROBE!

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    That photo at the top is the gayest thing I have seen today.

  • You just know that Duderobe is going to feature in a Chuck Tingle story…

    “I mean, if it’s a dude robe and a dude human, it isn’t gay, right?”

  • Swampay

    “while simultaneously elevating females to positions of unlimited power with zero accountability.”

    Huh, must have missed that happening. I’ll have to ask President (Hillary) Clinton about that.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    True story: when I was still dating my ex, I made him a really beautiful robe. The day he told me he was leaving, 40 years later, I took that robe out of his closet and cut it into lovely ribbons, then left them on his desk. I really hope he took it as a threat.

  • TundraGrifter

    I found a black hoodie that was like 3XL – Huge. I washed it a few times (of course) and would wear it when it got super cold and it was totally comfortable and much better than a Snuggie (which are also warm and used to be a thing but apparently not longer) but my dear wife hated my giant sweatshirt so I gave it away during a warm coats for the homeless drive.

    • Panika MCD

      my giant hoodie is from Wonkette.

    • Canuckistanian Ron

      I find that 3XLs are often snug on me these days, if not skin-tight. Did clothes get smaller or am I just in denial?

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Yes.

      • Shanzgood 6 Days

        Something is obviously wrong with your dryer.

        • Canuckistanian Ron

          The extra fabric is probably hidden away inside it along with all those damned socks.

      • TundraGrifter

        De Nile is also a river in Egypt.

        • H0mer0

          I thought it was the new name for Mt McKinley/(sn)

  • William
    • Panika MCD

      no.

    • TundraGrifter

      Is she going to throw those at Tom Jones?

      • H0mer0

        the one who sang “Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head”? I don’t follow.(sn)

        • TundraGrifter

          I think that was B.J. Thomas. When he performed in Vegas, women would often throw their panties at Tom Jones. And their hotel room keys.

      • Yr. Gma
        • TundraGrifter

          I recently saw Tom Jones on a PBS Special and he’s still got it. What a voice!

  • Mehmeisterjr

    So my suggestion is: let’s interact with women coldly and professionally, and see what happens!

    The reverse-Lysistrata strategy! Why didn’t Aristophenes think of that?

    Or anybody else in the thousands of years since?

    Maybe because it’s a dumb-ass idea that never has or ever will work?

    I’m just spitballing here.

  • ZangoCrudmonger
  • Swampgas_Man

    I wear a BATHrobe. Does “duderobe” imply that these guys don’t bathe?

    • Panika MCD

      if they didn’t, would Axe still be in business?

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      “duderobe” seems to imply that it’s a hoodie. Just sayin.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    is this open thread yet?
    “Washington (CNN)President Donald Trump has broken with recent precedent by not recognizing June as LGBT Pride Month.

    The White House did not respond to a request for a comment. Although Trump did not recognize LGBT Pride Month, he proclaimed June as Great Outdoors Month, National Caribbean-American Heritage Month, African-American Music Appreciation Month, National Ocean Month and National Homeownership Month.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      P.S. “Later that month, Trump reiterated his commitment to the LGBT community after the attack at an gay nightclub in Orlando. At a New Hampshire rally, he said, “Ask yourself, who is really the friend of women and the LGBT community? Donald Trump with actions or Hillary Clinton with her words?””

    • Sophia

      It’s the weekend, isn’t it pretty much OT all day.

    • miss_grundy

      When will everyone realize that Tangerini doesn’t do diversity??????

  • BadKitty904
    • H0mer0

      Is that a plant/alligator hybrid who catnapped a feline or a plant/feline hybrid?

      • BadKitty904

        It’s Ferdinand, the One, True BadKitty, being his usual weird-ass self.

        • H0mer0

          Is he truer and badder than the ginger tabby near your moniker? Or can there BE ONLY ONE!!

          • BadKitty904

            FerdieCat is the reason I originally chose the nick “BadKitty904,” since it’s a nickname we use for him several times a day, every day. He’s the ORIGINAL BadKitty.

    • motocat

      I hope kitty is just snoozing.

      • BadKitty904

        He was lying in his back under a leaf of one of our hurricane plants (aka, Monstera deliciosa). No, I don’t know why.

        • Yr. Gma

          Because cat.

          • BadKitty904

            That’s my husband’s usual answer to “Why is the cat…?”

        • Canuckistanian Ron

          Shade. Delicious shade.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Insert “How Not To Be Seen” joke here.

    • SisterArtemis

      That leaf is attacking the kitty. Bad leaf!

      • BadKitty904

        Actually, that leaf is hiding the kitty. From what, I don’t know.

        • Raan

          I thought those were slugs crawling out from the leaf.

          • BadKitty904

            Those are his back feets. And his tail.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Those are his feets in tha air cuz he’s napping. Zomg

          • BadKitty904

            Kitty in the shade,
            Has it made.

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            His feets are in the air cos he just don’t care.

      • Grokenstein

        The Night of the Living Fronds

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      That leave grabbed it by the pussy!

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Above the picture on my phone is the icon that says “hide.”

    • Paul

      Well if you’d feed the poor thing it wouldn’t have to go all vegetarian on your plants eating holes everywhere.

      • BadKitty904

        lol The Hurricane Plant is also known as the Swiss-Cheese Plant.

        • Paul

          So feed it some of that cheese then. A nice omelet with Swiss and catnip.

    • miss_grundy

      Peek-a-boo, I see you!

    • Ill-Advised

      Probably having a conference with my two black cats, because the Fourth Dimension and the fabric of spacetime doesn’t manage itself, ya know. Black cats Know Things.

      • BadKitty904

        Both of ours are black, as well as brothers. They are Uncanny.

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a18d7ff03f74fba6cc4220f4262882e572bf9e0b3b7d135806c438aea16883a5.jpg

        We’re particularly impressed by their ability to de-cloak and appear out of Kitty Space, like Romulan warbirds, anytime a can is opened anywhere in the house.

        • Ill-Advised

          To say nothing of being able to distinguish when there’s a Pill hidden in the food. (But how do you KNOW there’s something in the salmon oil THIS time?)

          • BadKitty904

            I scanned it for foreign objects.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Ha!

    Coal mine approved under Obama, not Trump

    President Donald Trump says he is keeping true to his promise to bring coal mining jobs back. He called out a new mine in Pennsylvania as an example of his success, however, the mine was approved during the Obama administration.

    Source: CNN
    (BEWARE: AUTOPLAY)
    http://www.cnn.com/videos/politics/2017/07/01/coal-mine-jobs-trump-obama-pkg-savidge-kth-ac.cnn

    • TundraGrifter

      Did you read about those jobs at Carrier Mr. Trump saved from going to Mexico?

      Turns out the head of Carrier’s union was telling the truth and Mr. Trump was telling a lie because some 700 of them are headed for south of the border.

      Mr. Trump said industries moving jobs out of the country will face severe consequences. Such as?

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        I did hear about that…also apparently boeing pulled a carrier too – and it was at one of the plants or factories where Trump made a similar stop during the campaign.

      • handyhippie65

        i said it at the time it was a waste of a million tax dollars, but noooo, i’m the crazy one.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          and THEN carrier hiked up the prices for their products.

          • handyhippie65

            well of course. can’t rake in record profits paying a fair wage, and charging a fair price. it’s not the murican way, doncha know.

      • Sophia

        He’ll send out a nasty twitter

        • H0mer0

          or a nasty tax break, wedge salad and best chocolate cake ever at Mar-A-Lago.

      • Ill-Advised

        Probably not as seriouser as not turning in your voter registration lists with SSNs. Tracking down people who vote for the wrong candidate will be so much easier when they’re all unemployed.

    • Panika MCD

      but is CNN…?

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      I don’t consider CNN fake news but whomever came up with the autoplay there EVERY. GOD. DAMN. ARTICLE. deserves a vote in the back of his/her head.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i’m with you – on the autoplay. What’s funny is I actually wanted to watch one of the video’s the otehr day and the fucker took forever to load and play.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        see also: HuffPoo

  • cheetojeebus

    Le sigh.

    • Canuckistanian Ron

      D’accord.

      • Ill-Advised

        Mai oui.

        • Invisible Bunyip

          Merde.

        • Canuckistanian Ron

          Yes, you may.

  • Raan

    Clearly, the Duderobe guys have never seen the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy movie. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0d7789b6db00367177c6fa52f162747a1d7b9e2a2480d4457e2332d414acc8e1.png

    • handyhippie65

      a robe, and towel is the sign of a well equipped intergalactic traveler.

      • The Wanderer

        Arthur Dent was emphatically not a hoopy frood when he woke up that morning.

        • handyhippie65

          would you be if you were going to lose two homes at once?

    • Ill-Advised

      Well, yeah, they do own the place, and have no interest in going anywhere. Just ask them. Hell, just look at them.

  • TJ Barke
    • handyhippie65

      i can’t even jacie chan anymore. he’s turned into a government spokesmodel now. he spews what ever the government tells him. it’s just sad.

  • Nounverb911

    “Ronnie, did you have that dream where you drive off into the sunset with Bonzo again?”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b4039d694ff94314cdc8679c7352a01101edbcfbe5c1548e52a35df1a31b2dc1.jpg

    • SisterArtemis

      it’s a good dream….

      • handyhippie65

        and you know the smart one was driving. bonzo

    • Yr. Gma

      I don’t know how the press was allowed to get that picture. I assume that was when he was recovering from his gun shot wound and he needed to be seen alive and sitting up. Can you imagine Donnie sitting for a picture like that? I guess it’s official: Ronnie was a better president than Donnie.

      • SadDemInTex

        That sofa…it must have been Nancy’s boudoir

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    One thing, and I start out by saying I may be tooootally wrong about this, but i don’t think that “duderobe” is actually a robe, it’s a hoodie. I know this as I, too, am a dood, I own robes as well as several hoodies. Trust me, that’s a hoodie.

    That is all.

    • ziggywiggy

      The pic above is a hoodie, they actually have a line of lounge clothes(LOL) for men.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Lounge clothes? I don’t really even want to know. These guys, huh?

  • Thorn Spike

    So, just a hoodie, then.

    • ziggywiggy

      I checked a link someone shared to an Esquire story and this pic is a hoodie, they have an entire line of “lounging apparel”. The clothing line is sillier than the robe.

      • H0mer0

        men already have boxer shorts with a hole for Mr Happy to come out for air. What more lounging apparel do they need?

  • HazooToo

    I have tried to get past it. Still can’t. Were they afraid that if they made it into an actual robe it would look like a dress? Is that why they needed the matching pants? Also. When the hell are these people going to GO. THEIR. OWN. WAY and get the fuck out of our sight?

    • snigsy

      They’re very very fragile. And delicate. And threatened by the French language.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Quels connards!

      • Suttree

        The English language also too apparently.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      I think that a lot of this robe-panic thing has to do with The Donald’s anti-robe panic. Although he claimed never to have worn a robe, there was that darned awkward published photo of him in a white terrycloth robe, draped out in a sort of a provocative Madame Recamier sprawl.

      Mind you, although it might look a little hello-sailor-y to you dirty-minded cynics, I figure he was just getting ready for a little chaste snuggle time with Ivanka. Perfectly innocent.

      Still, don’t underestimate the ability of the MGTOW crowd to get all flighty and hysterical over such matters. They have so little control over their hormones, poor little things.

  • Shanzgood 6 Days

    This makes me wanna go make baconzgood a sammich.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Oeh what are you putting on it?

      • Shanzgood 6 Days
        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          Ah you are a feeder.

          • Shanzgood 6 Days

            Noooo…not really.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            So what’s this six days all about? Quit smoking?

          • Shanzgood 6 Days

            Nope! Baconzgood will be here in six days!

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            That’s sammich won;t last that long. Just saying.

          • Shanzgood 6 Days

            Not around me it wouldn’t!

          • baconzgood

            She’s good to me.

          • Shanzgood 6 Days

            Except when I’m a screeching banshee.

        • baconzgood

          I thought I told you extra bacon!

        • miss_grundy

          Now that is a bacon sandwich…….

    • baconzgood

      And would it fucking break your arms to make a tom collins? Because there is a good chance it will if you dont.

      • Shanzgood 6 Days

        I don’t even know what that is!

        • Suttree
        • SisterArtemis

          I had to look it up. (Might I note that I miss Rachel Maddow’s Cocktail Moment very much?)

          From Wiki, perhaps not the best bartender in the world, but it cuts to the chase:

          Mix the gin, lemon juice and sugar syrup in a tall glass with ice, top up with soda water, garnish and serve. The Tom Collins is a Collins cocktail made from gin, lemon juice, sugar, and carbonated water.

          • baconzgood

            It’s very refreshing in these summer months.

    • SisterArtemis
      • snigsy

        And mules.

        • Yr. Gma

          With boa trim.

          • SisterArtemis

            I’m gonna have to redo my wardrobe. I love all that stuff.

          • snigsy

            Tbh, me too. (I think I’ve watched too many 1930s movies.)

      • baconzgood

        That’s what I’m talking about sugar tits.

      • H0mer0

        oh, is that what a pegnoir is ?(I saw that word for the first time while reading “Day of the Jackal” but never bothered looking it up.

      • Shanzgood 6 Days

        Oooh, fancy!

      • CindyinEncinitas

        The pinnacle of my mother’s standard of beauty.

    • Yr. Gma

      Is “making a sammich” a new term for “getting busy”?

      • Shanzgood 6 Days

        It is now!

      • baconzgood

        “Cutting off the crusts” is code for doing it in the butt.

        • Shanzgood 6 Days

          What about “hold the mayo”?

          • That’s ‘denying them your essence’.

          • baconzgood

            You don’t need a road map to figure that one out.

      • Only if you bring a friend…

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    Have yet to see one single MRA dude whose even remotely fuckable. For real.

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    One thing no woman who is unattractive by society’s standards will ever know is what these men know–a kind of foundational certainty, the absolute, unassailable internal confidence that she’s actually completely gorgeous, and that the men who ignore her are merely stupid demanding whining shitsacks who have been demasculinized by, oh, shit, I don’t know, the Industrial Revolution, or desk jobs, or something.

    No: we are a society in which even “objectively” beautiful women live with dread and self-doubt all their lives, and in which plain women can never understand ourselves without a stinging permanent awareness that we are plain.

    Since birth, I have lived with the consciousness of the second class citizen (albeit the privileged, white, upper American version, which is insulated from all kinds of pain and hell).

    This consciousness is not something I would wish on my worst enemies, which would certainly include all of these nasty, venomous, racist, woman-hating, toxic little sons of bitches.

    But I do wish the right’s project of utterly destroying empathy as a desirable cultural characteristic (empathy has no place in an authoritarian society, and also makes it difficult to slash the safety net, so it has been targeted as such by the dark money gang) had not been quite so effective. They have created a whole new generation of conscienceless white males who are not merely narcissists, but who are also brayingly, noisily, snottily celebratory about their indifference.

    These boys are incapable of asking questions, contemptuous of wonder, profoundly incurious, lethally indifferent. I wish the death of empathy had not successfully rendered them all so totally immune to insight into the lives of others: because it means the rest of us must inhabit a lesser world.

  • Sophia

    Esquire seemed impressed: The DudeRobe Is Here and It’s Even Dumber Than the RompHim

    The whole idea is that you can exit the shower—or pool, or ocean—and immediately throw on some shorts and a hoodie, no intermediary step require. Does anyone do this? Is there really a guy out there so confounded by towels that he just says, “Fuck this, I’m putting on clothes and then sitting in a state of general dampness for the next couple of hours” and then does exactly that? If there is, someone please help him out. Teach him to use a towel. Or drip-dry. But don’t get him a DudeRobe. We, as a society, are better than that.

    http://www.esquire.com/style/mens-fashion/news/a56057/duderobe-kickstarter-campaign/

    • SisterArtemis

      We, as a society, are better than that.

      Despite evidence to the contrary of late, I would like to think that this is still true.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        The TONS of evidence (see: occupant of the Oval Office) to the contrary.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    I thought it was a joke. It’s so stupid. How is this not a joke ?

    • SisterArtemis

      (shhhh…. it is….)

  • DerrickWildcat

    I liked it better when it was called, Sweats.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    I’m thinking the DudeRobe would go well with my new man bun

    • SisterArtemis

      TAKE PICTURES!!!

    • Shanzgood 6 Days

      Prove your commitment. Get a romphim.

    • baconzgood

      You can wear your skinny jeans and have a lumberjack beard so they can see how much of a douch bag you are from space.

      • Shanzgood 6 Days

        Are we gonna talk about your hat again?

        • Mehmeisterjr

          You crazy kids!

          Get a room before we all get jealous.

          • Shanzgood 6 Days

            Six days!

  • SisterArtemis

    Slightly aside from all this hullabaloo about dude apparel, I myself would like to have a bed jacket, for sitting up on chilly nights and reading.
    http://cdn.vintagedancer.com/wp-content/uploads/1940s-knit-bedjacket.jpg

    • Yr. Gma

      They still exist. I got one for my aunt to wear in The Home.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    It’s actually really amazing how desperately committed male Drumpf supporters are to wanting to believe that women secretly find Donald Drumpf sexually appealing

    One of the more heartbreaking aspects of the opioid crisis- because these clowns are seriously high if they believe that…

    • CindyinEncinitas

      These may be the same people who resent people who graduate from college because that makes you an elitist snob.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        And yet they admire Trump because he pretends to be Wharton, Summa Cum Loudly

  • Yr. Gma

    I almost feel sorry for these boys who are so desperate for female attention that they are driven to this behavior. Almost.

    • Suttree

      They should try not being assholes. Unless this tact is working out really well for them.

      • Augustus

        It’s not.

  • DerrickWildcat

    QVC couldn’t even sell that crap.

  • If you need special clothes to make you feel manly, you might not be as manly as you think.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Well in al honesty I do feel a little more manly in a tailored suit than in speedos.

    • Canuckistanian Ron

      ‘Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes…’

  • mancityRed6

    the dude robe just sounds like a lot of work to me.
    it’s like I told the apt management: it’s not my fault people are looking in my window. they don’t have to. don’t talk to me about putting on pants in a place I’m paying good money for.

    • SadDemInTex

      When I was in high school I could see into the ground floor living room of an apartment of the building next door. (4th floor to ground floor). The dudes never wore clothes in their apartment. I was not bothered by it (and I never told my parent). It just amused me. It was San Francisco, after all.

  • Michael R
  • Vincent Ricola

    “So my suggestion is: let’s interact with women coldly and professionally, and see what happens! (Hint: tried it, they will totally hate you and spread fake gossips about you)”

    LOL. Right. You can either be a sexually harassing jerkoff or a coldly professional jerkoff because there are no other social interaction options that exist to humans. Gee, I wonder why everyone women totally hates this guy?

  • DerrickWildcat

    If they came pretreated with Axe Body Wash, it would be a winner.

    • Shanzgood 6 Days

      Remember the kiddie pajamas they sold that smelled like blueberry or strawberry or whatever? My little sister had those. They sold them in plastic containers to maintain tne smell.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        6 days…zomg

        • Shanzgood 6 Days

          I have so much work to do! Gah!

  • I wonder if Trump is wandering around the white house at night in his dude robe. That may explain why Melania and Barron always look so unhappy. (And the wide load signs?)

  • Canuckistanian Ron

    All of a sudden it is HAMMERING down. Good thing I cleaned all the gutters the other day.

    • Sophia

      The way it’s going lately it will last about 15 minutes and then the sun will be out.

      • Canuckistanian Ron

        Which is exactly what happened, and now 2 hours later everything is dry. But the humidity’s probably around 300%.
        Ah, well, at least the fireworks will be on again.

  • H0mer0

    I actually spend quite a lot of my life not being sexually harassed which is a good thing.
    Which kingdom issued and exiled Roosh-the-basement-dweller?

    • AyeDiosDrinko

      Where do you live? I’d like to move there.

      • H0mer0

        (Alexandria Virginia but I’m not involved in politics and don’t work with rich or entitled people so I have that going for me. Also, I might be too obtuse to recognize it)

        • AyeDiosDrinko

          Too close to the Hellmouth.

  • Canis Greyhame

    Holy shit, why did I watch that video? The animation and script might be even worse than the idea of stitching a towel to the inside of a hoodie. Also, Dos Equis really ought to send this asshole a cease & desist letter for ripping off their slogan at the end.

    • Grokenstein

      I’m still not quite convinced it isn’t a prank.

  • i’mjustaskingthequestion

    Tone deaf butt hurt whack-jobs.

  • TJ Barke

    This moron has precisely no understanding of what a false pregnancy is or does… Jesus Christ is this guy fucking dumb. The internet’s greatest sin is the circle jerking of Dunning-Kreugeroids…

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    So my suggestion is: let’s interact with women coldly and professionally, and see what happens!

    Because being friendly and professional is, what…too difficult?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/eaff5ec33aaba15032c5a1aeb82f06b3387a63dae7437f1a5fe3965ca71efe40.jpg

  • baconzgood

    I always have to break these manbros down one snark at a time.

    First: a short robe with a hood is called a hoodie (FYI a always thought my lady looked good in a hoodie she “stole off me”

    Second: incomingtrump, if you’re going to say “them young beautiful panties are soaked” you get slapped. Unless you say it like Baconzgood. Say it sarcastically with a real macho voice because your girl knows you aren’t a sexist douch, but an incredibly insecure and loving guy. They smile at that then. After they smile it’s a snap to get into them soaked young beautiful panties. She might even let you wear them. If you find the right girl

    Third: Shan flirted her way to the top of baconz…reverse cowgirl style. Incidentally “screeching harpie” is one of my pet names for her (no snark there).

    Forth: The barren human female also displays aggression against those who threaten her “children.” If you try to take away a tennis ball of a bitch who has false pregnancy, she will attack you. The same happens if you try to “take away” the brown migrants that a human female has coveted. She will be vicious in calling you racist, fascist, literally Hitler, and whatever bad man of history that she happens to remember from her history classes in high school”

    • Shanzgood 6 Days

      Wait, you’re actually NOT a sexist douche? I’m gonna have to rethink a few things.

    • Steve Cole

      OT, but I also encourage the bride to wear my old Navy uniforms on date night. I am not ever going to wear a uniform again, but the jumper looks way more interesting on her.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • TJ Barke

    Are MRAs what happens when a mother never tells her son no?

    • Shanzgood 6 Days

      Paul Elam’s mom made him take his medicine when he was 13 and he’s been furious at women ever since.

      • I know a joke

        IMPORTANT DETAIL: his diarrhea medicine.

        • Shanzgood 6 Days

          I must have blocked that part out.

          • I know a joke

            He literally got so mad with ladies he shit in rage.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    This is feminism, folks. It’s just more giant shit tests by women, designed specifically to marginalize and destroy men, while simultaneously elevating females to positions of unlimited power with zero accountability.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4d72f89312db9ad6d86b5f97896d4ba89430a3421cbf970d0985e750d99db1d3.jpg

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    women who don’t have children are “crazy” and suffering from “pseudopregnancy”

    http://www.clickypix.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/big-bang-theory-penny-WHAT-gif.gif

    • Empress of the Iguana People

      medicine like its 1499

  • Mehmeisterjr

    I just checked the closet (the one I’m not in, BTW) and I have a light bathrobe, a hoodie and a pair of sweat pants.

    It is hotter than the hinges of Hell today, so I have no reason to wear any of them. But when I do, it will be entirely due to two factors:

    a. The fucking temperature.

    b. My fucking desire not to be arrested for indecent exposure.

    It will have nothing whatsoever to do with Going My Own Way, whatever the fuck that is supposed to mean.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    If you try to take away a tennis ball of a bitch who has false pregnancy, she will attack you.

    How dare that woman not stand passively by while some stranger interrupts her game and takes her ball? That BITCH!!!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e13ec93a876a790d78fa17e50c8740eea2002db80c212a0a8be55a69cd6cd913.jpg

  • clairence

    Old dude’s got three fingers up holding that chicken leg but he’s got a FIRM grasp on that bottle.

  • NotALiar

    Duderobe also known as hooded sweatshirt and sweatpants.

  • Grokenstein

    I’m a 53-year-old white hetero blue-collar male with an honorable discharge and I’m still wearing my Throwbee because my region doesn’t know what Summer is until mid-August. These “manly” little turds wouldn’t last the weekend in my job.

  • TJ Barke

    Someone really needs to vote the shit out of Roosh’s punk ass.

    • Grokenstein

      With crowbars!
      …Hang on, I don’t think I’m doing it right.

      • Boscoe

        As long as the crowbar is swaddled in votes, you’re fine.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos
  • Angry Red Bird DGAF
    • starfanglednut

      Awwwww….

    • SadDemInTex

      So cute!!!

    • miss_grundy

      Adorbs!

  • Carpe Vagenda

    I feel like maybe people who peaked in high school kinda secretly enjoy watching Trump neg women who didn’t peak in high school.

    I suspect that’s at least partly because men who peaked in high school aren’t particularly interested in women who peaked in high school, so they both blame self-sufficient women when they can’t get laid.

    I suspect that’s going to be the most unkind thing I say this week.

    • Augustus

      Tough, but fair.

  • If women don’t like us complimenting their tits, just wait till we
    stop harassing them! And act like jerks in another way entirely! That’ll
    teach ’em!

    How about we go with, “Your tits are okay.”

  • LastNewDealer?

    Sigh. These bratty toddlers are a good argument for modifying the frat system. Let ’em in as freshmen, endure four years of their miserable jerkdom, then during year four roll in a quarter barrel then brick them into the frat house after they chase it in.

    Sam Clemens had the right idea regarding male children…

  • lowenufc

    Oh fuck you, Roosh V. Fuck with a rototiller of votes and dildos. Both of which are on the handle, and not the part stuck up your ass.

  • Bananas Foster

    I spend so much time manipulating men into harassing me and then turning around and persecuting them for said sexual harassment that I have barely any time to take care of the migrants I’m using as surrogate babies.

    It leaves me no time to do mysterious things with tennis balls.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      It’s good to have goals and aspirations. How do you find the time to make sammiches?

      • Bananas Foster

        What do you think my migrant babbies are for?

        Delicious!

  • The Librarian

    I would much prefer men at work treat me “coldly and professionally”. I am a professional. If I’m friendly, do not misinterpret it as an invitation to talk to my chest.

  • ‘women secretly find Donald Trump sexually appealing.’

    Tbf there is one cohort who do loudly claim to get wet for Orange Julius, say “grab my pussy Daddy” – the ladies from redneck states who come from abusive patriarchal cultures and have been socialised into thinking that’s what is proper to do.

    • HorseChestnut

      I wish more people knew that those women are weird. Trump’s autograph on yr tits is not something women, as a group, can ever be said to want.

    • AyeDiosDrinko

      My therapist told me there’s a theory going around that it was fairly easy for white women to vote for him bc they were (essentially) voting for their spouse/dad/brothers

      • LucindathePook

        My spouse/dad/brother LIBELZ1!!1

        • AyeDiosDrinko

          #NotAllSpouse/Dad/Brothers

      • Empress of the Iguana People

        Must be why I didn’t. Neither my spouse nor my brother voted for that cretin. My dad died in ’15.

      • Moar Wordz

        We should be so unlucky to have spouse/dad/brother like that.
        A lot of women want to keep the patriarchy intact, with no immigrants, & less taxes.

    • Boscoe

      Plus all the moneyz.

    • Moar Wordz

      Ow. Since when is a grab appealing ?
      Hastily I grabbed …
      My grab bag of halloween treats
      Grab n Go
      The very word is piggish
      It’s an organ not a golf club

  • Bananas Foster

    “women secretly find Donald Trump sexually appealing.”

    So secretly WE don’t even realize it.

    • SadDemInTex

      Even reading that makes me vomit in my mouth a bit.

    • BJW

      So secretly that we won’t even admit it under hypnosis.

    • natoslug

      You misspelled appalling.

    • Roadstergal

      I would have sex with Obama 100000000000x before Trump.

      I hope that note of ny honest proclivities gives a Republican an aneurysm.

      • Bananas Foster

        I would have sex with Obama 100000000000x before lunch.

    • Moar Wordz

      In another Universe maybe…

    • Gregory Brown

      It’s all subliminal.

  • Manders

    Are men like these more sad than hilarious? Or more hilarious than sad?

    I just can’t decide. And i don’t want to.

    • natoslug

      Both. But more than either, dangerous, because they obviously do not think of women as actual people.

  • ken_kukec

    Couple years ago, my brother and I spent a long weekend on South Beach. After checking in and putting our bags in our room, we took the elevator back down to the lobby. When the doors opened, there with his back to us, about 15 feet away, was a guy with razor-cut silver hair, wearing a paisley smoking jacket with satin lapels and cuffs. Arrayed in front of him were four buxom blondes, like the featured madrigals before the conductor of an all-girl choir. I put an elbow in my brother’s ribs and whispered “gotta be Hef.”

    Hugh Hefner’s been wearing this shit since the mid-’50s, during his days in The Grotto beneath the original playboy mansion. Was silly then; it’s pitiful now.

  • JMP

    That’s not a robe, that’s a hooded sweatshirt! Do these guys’ man juices make their brains rot?

    • jesterpunk

      They have brains?

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Right?! If you have to pull it on over your head, you’ve already expended more effort than a robe should ever require.

  • BJW

    “But them young beautiful panties are soaked.” WTF? While I am now one of those sad, old ladies who has said goodbye to youth and beauty and happiness and love, I can remember this: I’ve thought the Donald was a disgusting POS for 30 years. PS–my husband might have different thoughts about the love and respect he has for me. Since it’s been 35 years I imagine he’s right. ;)

    • Edith Prickly

      Right there with you – I was a young thing in the 80s and couldn’t figure out why the fuck anyone thought Donald Trump was interesting. Now he makes my vagina spontaneously seal itself off when I see a picture of him. #neverhot

      • Courser_Resistance

        I’m glad I’m not the only one.

  • SadDemInTex

    First: That is not a robe. It is a sweatshirt and a pair of comfy pants. Which is fine but it is not a robe. Second: my life has too few days left in it to even ponder the depth of stupidity of these (supposedly) male adults who believe the hogwash of “men going their own way”. I hope Robin disinfects herself after that dumpster dive.

    • natoslug

      I wish they’d hurry the fuck up on their own way. And would shut up about it. We can’t miss them if they don’t ever leave or stop whining.

  • BJW

    Oh, and I forgot to add as my visceral response to Donnie since day 1: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6ac358b59b594d16fc42f495fa1adb26e7de6d22143ce1342fe56dfc2842d868.jpg

    • Lambsendbeds

      Hyperbole and a half ! I love her! I’m sorry that she seems to have stopped posting on her website. I have a t-shirt of her Simple Dog “I made food” cartoon.

      • Penny Dreadful Says Cats

        I miss her. Evidently she was going to write a book and then just sort of didn’t. It’s still in pre-release on Amazon (with awesome reviews, of course).

      • BJW

        Oh, I loved the one about how the dumb dog gets out, and completely loses all memory of home. Funny and poignant. I need to get her book.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    The robes presented look nice, but think about getting your male person a velvet smoking jacket. Preferably on with some kind of crest over the heart.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    “Gossips” are a group of people who engage in gossip, which, by definition is a rumor or rumors (i.e., already plural when one is referring to the unconfirmed stories). “Spread[ing] fake gossips” seems like a weird thing for those wacky feminists to do, but they are indeed wily in their ways of male destruction.

  • Daniel Hooper

    So many things to comment on…

    1.That is not a robe; it’s a hoodie and pajama pants combo. Of which I approve of, but seriously, don’t try to call it something it’s not.
    2. By the logic of Reddit, if I call my female boss ugly, then any attractive female co-workers will instantly be drawn to me. How could that loss backfire?
    3.I’m absolutely certain Roosh V has a girlfriend, in another state. She’s a model who’s always working and doesn’t like being photographed outside of work. Also; classy move comparing women to actual bitches.

    • Boscoe

      She’s from Canada, you wouldn’t know her. They met at band camp.

  • reelreeler

    Duderobe = sweatshirt and sweatpants (with a male symbol, because you’re a guy, 100% definitely a real masculine guy)…….well, that’s pretty much all I see there, maybe cause I’m old.

    • Boscoe

      If they were really serious, they’d build a gigantic fake boner into the pants so you could project your full manly POWA at all times.

      • reelreeler

        LOL

      • Amy!

        Wait … it’s supposed to have a “secret pocket” in it somewhere.

        Could it be just the right size to hold a cucumber?

  • boredcatlady

    This barren human female would take a million brown refugees (tennis balls??!) over one Roosh V – PROVING HIS POINT – omg! He’s right!

  • boredcatlady

    Wait, women aren’t allowed to learn history in college? Ohhhh, wimmins shouldn’t go to college anyway

    • Gregory Brown

      That’s right. You don’t want them gettin’ highfalutin’ ideas in their pretty heads!

  • CatDog

    It’s almost like the whole MRA scene is just a marketing scam targeting incredibly insecure unfuckable manbabies!!! In any case, fake robe news is the lowest low and he’s definitely wearing the wrong pants. Dudes who wear inflatable pants are never short of a nearby compliant woman-thing for a quick bout of negging, or necking, or whatever. Plaid Stallion ftw bitches!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a85bfa3b936330959a5fb7a328da70fedfcc387decb71b14ad8557c8ed1b630b.jpg .

    • Edith Prickly

      What the everloving fuck are those things???

      • Lambsendbeds

        They were called “Trim Jeans”! You inflated them by blowing on a tube.

        • Edith Prickly

          So they’re for weight loss?? I thought they were some bizarre water safety device, like PFD pants.

          • Lambsendbeds

            Monty Python did a sketch about them called “Trim Jeans Theater”…
            https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wYvz1-ThCHY

          • Bad Tom

            And here I thought they were, uh, either sexual gratification devices, or sexual prevention devices.

          • Courser_Resistance

            I vote for sexual prevention. Next best thing to a chastity belt.

          • Bad Tom

            Get too close, you bounce off!

      • theCryptofishist

        I think they’re for getting better service in French restaurants. You go in, they think you’re working for the guide, and they work their butts off trying to get a star.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Are we talking floatation devices?

    • Gregory Brown

      Snogging.

    • CatDog

      Although I’m pleased to see this sub-thread has inflated beyond my wildest expectations, I feel we have all evaded the blow-up elephant in the room: what in hell are they looking at with those frozen smiles so suggestive of mute terror? They are clearly not alone, something is coming from off-stage right, something that likes people encased in plastic, but what, or who, in fuck is it?

  • miss_grundy

    And these guys wonder why they can’t attract a woman……..ay yi yi!

    • Boscoe

      WHat do you mean? I’m sure they all have Canadian girlfriends (you wouldn’t know them, they met in band camp), at least until they save up for a top-quality mail order bride from Indonesia.

      • Moar Wordz

        The mail order bride would leave after figuring out hubbies douche nature

  • VirginiaLady

    Some of the people in this country are worse than I ever dreamed they could be.

    • Boscoe

      FREEDUMBZ!!!1!

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      As I said above, we can trace the fact that we have to actually listen to these assholes, and that they have any sort of platform other than the swamp out back of Doc’s general store, back to the deeply flawed decision to bring rural electrification to these backwoods oafs.

      • theCryptofishist

        So, we wanna Heyduke the TVA dams? We better get to it before they install solar panels.

      • Gregory Brown

        I’m pretty sure many of them are downtown oafs as well.

  • Edith Prickly

    Yeah Roosh, women who don’t have children are the crazy ones…#lookinthemirrordumbass

  • Tovarish Z

    I for one welcome the DudeRobe, it will immediately identify it’s owner as an immature individual with a very fragile sense of masculinity.

    • Quercus Queen

      For those who have realized what most everyone else feels about fedoras?

      • Reince Pubis

        You mean HEdoras.

      • Gregory Brown

        Bite your damn tongue. I have worn fedoras for years. Not only that, I have fathered and raised children! With a woman!

  • akryan

    I’d just suggest to them that they may find it easier to get a date if they stopped spending their time spiraling into deeper and deeper misogyny on misogynist chat forums. Just go a dating website. Anybody can get a date with someone.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Well and they might want to upgrade their wardrobe from DudeRobe. If I saw someone wearing something like that, I’d beat feet in the opposite direction. Life is too short to spend any time on DoucheBros. Who are the only people I can imagine would think it’s a cool idea.

  • Tovarish Z

    That Drake robe is pretty slick.

    • Tovarish Z

      Got to go pick one up

    • wavicles

      IKR, check the look on his face; pure satisfaction. He knows his place in the world, too. Close the fridge door? “Fuck that!” he says.

      • But the way that chick is picking at that chicken so close to his chicken

  • Boscoe

    That DudeRobe absolutely screams “in the closet and in full denial”. Just sayin’.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      “We in the British Navy are MANLY men who do MANLY things”

      • John Thorstensen

        The Army (or “mary”) recruitment sketch from Monty Python comes to mind:

        Mr Man: Yes. Are there any regiments which are more effeminate than others?

        R.S.M.: Well, no sir. I mean, apart from the Marines, they’re all dead butch.

        Mr Man: You see, what I really wanted was a regiment where I
        could be really quiet and have more time to myself to work with
        fabrics, and creating new concepts in interior design.

        R.S.M.: Working with fabrics and experimenting with interior design!

        Mr Man: Yes.

        R.S.M.: Oh well you want the Durham Light Infantry then, sir.

        Mr Man: Oh.

        R.S.M.: Oh yes. That’s the only regiment that’s really doing
        something new with interior design, with colour, texture, line and
        that.

        Mr Man: I see.

        R.S.M.: Oh yes, I mean their use of colour with fabrics is
        fantastic. I saw their pattern book the other day – beautiful,
        beautiful. Savage tans, great slabs of black set against aggressive
        orange. It really makes you want to shout out, this is good! This is
        real!

        Mr Man: Really?

        R.S.M.: Oh yes. I mean the Inniskillin Fusiliers and the
        Anglian Regiment are all right if you’re interested in the art nouveau
        William Morris revival bit, but if you really want a regiment of the
        line that is really saying something about interior decor, then you’ve
        got to go for the Durham Light Infantry.

        • Miss Dill

          That is truly hilarious.

        • Gregory Brown

          I love Monty Python. It first aired in the U.S. when I was in high school, and the day after, all the kids were tossing lines from the previous night’s show back and forth.

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          This is EXACTLY what I was thinking but just couldn’t summon it up from the vague depths of my brain! Thank you!!! Hilarious!

      • Gregory Brown

        Rum, buggery, and the lash!

    • masked mumbler

      Lol, you made me realize it looks like something the Workaholics guys would wear.

  • akryan

    How is the duderobe any different than a hoodie and sweats? I have plenty of hoodies and lots of sweat pants. does that mean I have lots of duderobes?

    • Boscoe

      The key is in covering them with man symbols.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Give me a sharpie and I’ll fix that right up for you.

      • I know a joke

        himbols

    • Diamond-CherryBlossom-Song

      …it’s just different. OK, now stop asking questions.

    • theCryptofishist

      You don’t have the man symbol on those. Unless you do. So, is this some sort of all in one hoody/pant combo? And why do I think they are shorts? And how the fuck can anyone tell what it is from that crappy animation?
      Can you do a kickstarter and then just refuse to make the crappy product? How is that kickstarter doing, anyway?

    • MamaBrown

      You have cheap knockoff dude robes. Better keep a low profile or Dude Robe Guy is going to sue the shit out of you.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Any robe that requires the wearing of pants is a fail.

  • Courser_Resistance

    Wow, that was some astonishing bullshit logic from the MGTOW crowd. They’re like the most pathetic losers on the planet and yet still think they’re kings on some kind of bullshit crusade.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    You know, there’s something weird about a whole subclass of males who want to get laid so badly that they’ve turned to bizarre mythos that has actually made their problem worse.

    • TundraGrifter

      One definition of a fanatic is a person who has lost sight of the goal so she (or he) redoubles the effort.

    • SnarkON

      Kind of like evangelical Christians.

  • Royal Ugly Dude
  • DirtyHippyLiberal
    • wavicles

      Space… complicated… who knew?

    • Gregory Brown

      I saw that gif on another Wonkette thread, and instinctively knew that Buzz was listening to Trump embarrass us all before the world again.

  • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

    I can’t claim to understand much of whatever the fuck those guys were spewing.

    I’m sure this has already been ranted about down thread, which I have not yet read, but Jesus Christ on a cracker that is not a robe, that’s fucking sweatpants and a fucking sweatshirt and it ain’t in no way a robe so don’t call it a fucking robe.

    And does the huz have a nice thick manly terry robe to wear from the shower to where the clothes are, why, yes, yes he does, and it is fucking calf length (moo) so his mighty cock never falls out. (I once referred to his dick and was politely corrected, “mighty cock, dear, mighty cock.)

  • Jeff Ackerman

    Now I have a sad, I’ve never owned a robe….

  • “If men, as a collective, were to suddenly cease any and all flirtatious conduct with women entirely, we all know what the female reaction would be…

    More productivity at work, no annual requirement for the rest of us to sit through mandatory sexual harassment seminars, women with less fear of being raped or sexually assaulted, women being more comfortable being around men…

    I’m not seeing a downside.

    • wavicles

      Well, clearly you’re not looking from the right pespective.

      • cleos_mom

        Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three lefts do.

      • Darlenegjones

        my co worker’s sister makes $68 an hour at home. she has been out of a job for two months and last month her pay check was $12095 just working on the internet 5 hours per day.. ➤ check out➤ this
        http://www.GoogleFinancialCashJobs403FinderWise/Home/Wage….
        ❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖❖::::ac113….

  • Tosca

    “So my suggestion is: let’s interact with women coldly and professionally, and see what happens!”

    I cannot recommend this course of action strongly enough, fellows.

    • Odd, isn’t it. This is how they should be behaving in the first place.

      • Tosca

        Well, they should be behaving towards women with the same civility and professionalism they show to men. Failing that, “cold” is better than “sexually harassing”. I see no downside here.

    • Ranina

      I was thinking the same thing.

    • John Thorstensen

      Well, yeah.

      But it’s possible to be entirely professional while being nice to people. Being cold is itself a form of nastiness, and being cold exclusively to women would be — well, just bad.

      This is really not that hard. These guys have a screw loose. Or maybe two!

      • You have to understand, to these guys all women they want to fuck should want to fuck them, or they are bitches and dykes and whatever else. And they should be hot because their friends would mock them if they were not hot. And they can’t want anything for themselves, because then they are just takers who want the man money.
        Every woman I know has a story where some dork tried his bad moves and she said no thanks and he accused her of being a lesbianshrillcoldharpyslutbitch.
        Or a combo of those.
        It STILL catches women by surprise; we should probably tell our daughters earlier on about these blokes. And also, our sons.
        Thanks, Robyn!

        • John Thorstensen

          Yup — it’s some really deep disorder.

      • Tosca

        I agree that being polite and professional is the best option. But, if I had to choose between the office creep being cold towards me or sexually harassing me…I know which I’d go for.

    • Gregory Brown

      The funny part is that they obviously have never even tried that — professionalism.

      • Tosca

        But how can they be professional WHEN BOOBS??? Let’s be realistic, here.

  • SnarkON

    Say, guys, I wouldn’t miss the office sexual harassment as much if you made up for its loss by paying me more. I’d settle for “the same pay rate as you.”

  • Ilgattomorte

    Ummh, isn’t a Duderobe a sweatsuit, and isn’t a sweatsuit the modern old man equivalent of a leisure suit?

    The leisure suit wasn’t cool, even when it was cool. I’m just sayin’.

    • Gregory Brown

      Man, you just gave me a polyester flashback.

  • Dr. Jo

    DudeRobe looks like a WalMart hoodie.

  • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

    I’ll keep saying this, but I seriously think we need to reconsider rural electrification. It’s not like they’re doing anything useful with it.

    • Amy!

      Hey!

      Us lesbian farmers object to rural deelectrification. How are we gonna charge our vibrators, connect to the internet, and undermine the patriarchy through agriculture without electricity?

      • theCryptofishist

        Always upfist lesbian farmers.

        • Gregory Brown

          The only thing that will save us in this trying time is an army of lesbian farmers.

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        You’re right! Electrification but FOR LESBIAN FARMERS ONLY!

  • Reince Pubis

    I’m concerned that my Klan robes are not branded as Duderobes. Were they designed for women? Can wearing them make me gay? Please advise…

  • Celtic_Gnome

    You know, when I walk down the street, I can literally hear all the beautiful young panties around me soaking.

    No brag. Just fact.

    • MamaBrown

      what about women who don’t wear panties? asking for a friend.

  • theCryptofishist

    Talk about remembering two sentences about Lysistrata from high school, and doing some sort of reversal of it, and turning it into an entire world view.

    Oh, that that was some pretty weak animation. Maybe his mom did it.

  • Zyxomma

    I never had children. That’s because I never *WANTED* any, not because I was barren. I’ve never had an abortion, either. Because I made sure never to get pregnant, back when that was an option. All these MRAs are deluded beyond any semblance of reason.

    • wavicles

      But what about coveting your brown people? I’ve read some of these comments and you ladies seem to be avoiding the subject.
      I mean be realistic, what if they DO get taken? Then what?

      • What if who get taken where? And who is picking up the tab or is it dutch?
        That is all that is important.

      • Zyxomma

        No, no coveting brown people either. If I did (and I don’t), I’d go back to Brazil, where the brown people coveted me.

        • Gregory Brown

          Mmmmmmm … brown covetessness.

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        I only covet one specific brown person. He is not a refugee, but if he were to get taken, I would, indeed, lose my shit, but that would be because I lurve him and he is the person I make the secksaytimes with. Not because he’s a babby-substitute. Ewww.

  • Slamtundra

    What is happening in that Drake ad? Is all sex now to be preferred by the drunken consumption of fried chicken? Also too what in the fuck is a Giant Shit Test? A test performed on the shit of giants? A test performed on a shit that is of epic proportions? A test to see if one can produce a large enough volume or mass of feces to be called ‘giant’?

    • Nena

      Have you never had so much fun sex that you wanted a little nosh after? A beer and some leftover fried chicken sounds perfect in such a situation.

  • mfp

    wow…the mgtows and roosh v…i never knew this was even a thing until i became a wonkeroo a few yrs ago…it’s just…idunno…stunning? to me…not even sure

    however– what i can definitely discern thru wonker writers’ relays from those nitwits (thanks for reading so i dont have to, wonkers), is that none of them work with women at all, and that they probably have few, if any, meaningful interactions with women outside their own twisted brains…i am embarassed for them…stay in your basements, guys, and out of the gene pool–thanks

    • Gregory Brown

      I love the deep, satisfying irony of “Return of Kings.” Talk about unwarranted optimism. I was raised by women, married a woman, have worked nearly all my life with women, still work with women. Looooove women.

  • thixotropic jerk

    Yo DudeRobbers I haz a storytime 4 U:
    Once upon a time there was a MGTOWMan who was looking for The Perfect Woman tm.
    Guess what mgtowbra? He FINALLY found her! Problem was she was looking for The Perfect Man!

  • Margodrodgers

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    • Ghenghis McCann

      Thirty days in June, times four hours each day, times $80 = $9600. I’m awarding you an “F” for Arithmetic.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Oh Margo Drodgers, you are bad at all the maths.

      This makes me think that you are unreliable about the moneys also too.

      Begone, Ms Drodgers. You are no Lori.

  • Grumpy Old Man

    But, but – I saw that pic of Roosh when he snuck out of his momma’s basement – isn’t he er, kind of brownish himself? Not that it matters but, really, why would a guy who has been kicked out of most of the world’s countries – shit, I forgot where I was going with this. Hmm, https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/90bce57374b10d7ec83a525b25c3ef60170b07540cc57480b35aeef50c014324.gif Roosh I gotta job for you.

  • Moar Wordz

    “While elevating females to unlimited Power with zero accountability, ” sounds like a description of the ( primarily male ) American Police Force.
    The MRA is sooooooo afraid of women gaining power ( unlimited power ! No less ) while simultaneously losing their own power, like, like – why, just like losing their erections.
    That would be bad.
    Very, very bad.
    Emasculating.
    As if womens vaginas actually DID have teeth (so the myth goes.)
    As if our ability to have multiple orgasms was truly scary and powerful & SHUT IT DOWN. Quick, before they LAUGH at us.
    As if women’s 🔋 was threatening and uncontrollable and made the Dude’s want their Mommies.

    • MamaBrown

      “he suffered from one of man’s greatest fears-fear of laughing women”-a cartoon I had on my office door in the 90’s

      • Gregory Brown

        I think for the laughing to have the maximum devastating effect, it should be accompanied by pointing.

    • CafeenMan

      The MRA guys are total losers. They’re also emotionally-retarded. So they are fully incapable of taking responsibility for their failure to amount to anything.

      It’s much easier to convince themselves they’re the cream of the crop and the only reason they haven’t achieved what they’re entitled to is because of someone else. Women are their target.

      It’s how they deal with the fact that no women want them.

      Same as racists need to blame someone else and so on.

      • Moar Wordz

        Yeah, I thought that, mostly from the negative media they’ve been getting, a few old Vogue articles or Glamour where a female reporter goes undercover to infiltrate the MRA. Mostly, the reporter said it was nice to be walked to her car after the ” Meetings, “. The sexual harassment she endured while getting the story ? Not so nice.

  • Mormos

    omg why cant people treat people like people?! what is wrong with our species?!!

    • Gregory Brown

      We are semi-tame apes, that’s what.

  • Bathrobes for men are kinda like Mumus for women…

    Mumus never caught on with slender women who weren’t trying to hide their body shape.

    Seems like the only men who would wear a bathrobe might be something you wouldn’t want to see in the light?

    Besides, would Bart Simpson wear a bathrobe?
    https://media4.giphy.com/media/uaAIXF9dbI3iE/giphy.gif

    • CafeenMan

      There are no kids in this house so I get from the shower to the bedroom in my birthday suit.

      A robe was a really nice thing to have when I lived in a place that had actual winters. A towel never gets you completely dry and when the temps are down in the house, a robe will keep you warm until you get to where the warm clothes are.

    • Nena

      Bathrobes for men are actually like bathrobes for women. Some folks wear them, some don’t. I don’t think that most folks who put on a bathrobe are trying to hide their body shape. They’re wearing these around the house, where presumably everyone else there knows what their body shape is, more or less. Hubby and I are well acquainted with each other’s body shape, but we still wear robes sometimes.

      Seems like the only men who would wear a bathrobe might be men who don’t feel like getting dressed right away when they get out of bed or out of the shower, and who don’t want to be cold, or live with folks who would object to having them running around naked, or just feel like wearing a robe.

  • NastyBossetti

    Someone probably already mentioned this, but that’s not even a robe at all. It’s a hoodie.

  • Internet Hitler
    • (((Aron)))

      That’s stupendous.

    • mailman27

      One of Parley J Cooper’s lesser known works.

    • Gregory Brown

      How in hell did I miss THAT?

  • That is not a robe. That is a hoodie. I don’t think we need a kickstarter for the revolutionary idea of “hoodies”.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      I like the video of the guy showing how to put it on. Makes me wonder about the assumed level of intelligence of their customers.

    • Paperless Tiger

      Your move, Geraldo.

    • SprinklemagicResistancebuns

      I think the pants are part of it. Wearing both a hoodie and sweat pants. No one’s ever done that before.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    I should put on my sexy black satin “only wearing it to take it off in five minutes” robe before I read this.

    • Zombishroom

      You need to always be pantsless.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Oh, of course!

  • Dutchman

    This is where I need a hotkey that simply posts “Oh, FFS”. Save me lot’s of time.

  • shocktreatment

    Crushed velour smoking jacket topped off with a fez, worn at a suitably jaunty angle. No pants.
    Answer the door in that ensemble, life will be interesting

    • Gregory Brown

      “Answer the door in that ensemble … HOLDING A PIPE”

      • shocktreatment

        Maybe one of those old long-stemmed “Churchwarden” pipes like my grandfather was photographed with, or possibly a foot long cigarette holder. Either way, a martini glass is required.

        While we’re at it, methinks black socks held up with calf garters gets this look right where it needs to be…

        • Gregory Brown

          Oh, definitely the cigarette holder, and the martini glass is de rigueur.

          • Professor Fate

            One does need to have the right music playing in the background as well – Say Herb Albert and the Tijuana Herb Albert or some generic ‘swingers’ album – and it must be a record playing on a big ol’ stereo system.

          • Gregory Brown

            Might I suggest smooth jazz flutist Herbie Mann, his overly suggestive 1971 album Push Push, and his take on “What’s Goin’ On,” which is still a favorite of mine, and perfect as background as you invite the fraulein into your “pad.”
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6NK1OdIO4g

        • LastNewDealer?

          Sherry glass and a cat. A contemptuous cat

          • Zombishroom

            With all of it’s contemptuous vastness. Who’s Sherry?

          • LastNewDealer?

            Cousin of Phillip

      • Zombishroom

        Two pipes.

    • LastNewDealer?

      You’re right ! I’ve gotten strange looks from pizza delivery guys when I’ve worn that.

    • Zombishroom

      My lawsuit with the post office is still going on!

      • shocktreatment

        Letter carriers. I tell ya. So damn sensitive.

  • fawkedifiknow

    “Fake Tanner and Expired Ketchup” was a great garage band name.

    • Zombishroom

      For real.

  • cleos_mom

    “But secretly them [sic] beautiful young panties are soaked.”

    Donnie Feodorovich could hook him up with some awesome Russian pee hookers.

    • Zombishroom

      I’m claiming ‘beautiful young panties (are soaked)’ as a band name. Unless you soak more.

  • sgt. jmk of the résistance

    My gawds, but those boys are sad asshats.

  • mailman27

    So the DudeRobe people just invented the hoodie.

    • SeeTrain65

      Yep. The zippered, terry cloth hoodie jacket. FOR MEN.

      And obviously, only for WHITE MEN.

  • Gregory Brown

    Robyn, I hope you showered after that slog through the man/boy O sphere.

  • SkinlessGenderlessMan

    I haz a penis. Do I have to be the same gender as these idiots?

    Oh, yeah, and about the robes. Why does anyone need a robe? We already come with all this wonderful skin all over us…

    This assumes that you would wear a robe when you would also expect privacy, or you do not give a shit about what the neighbors (and Jehovah’s Witnesses) think.

    • LastNewDealer?

      Serious point. My wife has a highly reasoned rule for not sitting on furniture au natural or even just in skivvies. It involves fecal bacteria etc ( although she has no similar concerns about our cars…). So yes robes can be important for certain reasons. Whatever floats your vessel. And that sure as hell ain’t a “duderobe” (pfui).

      • SkinlessGenderlessMan

        She has an absolutely valid point there! I wasn’t even thinking of the sitting down thing, more of the wandering around, fiddling with the stereo, cooking bacon, whatever other than sitting one does when one is not actually outside or in bed.

        If I’m going to be sitting sans pants I’ll usually toss a towel – the computer chair is old-school vinyl, which is comfortable unless you stick to it. If I am on the couch I will usually wrap in a towel, because cats have claws…

        • LastNewDealer?

          …claws and curiosity

          • Zombishroom

            New lady metal band?

        • Zombishroom

          Thanks for not wearing pants while commenting.

    • Zombishroom

      Tell me more about the Jehovah’s witnesses.

    • ResistanceFictionista blondeiq

      If the neighbors had any sense, they’d move. Oh, wait, they have. Tee hee.

      • SkinlessGenderlessMan

        Well, they did plant these beautiful hedges…

        On my property.

  • Tokays_don’t_blink

    The assholes accusing women of flirting their way to the top leave out the other half of the equation: if–IF– that ever really happens, it’s because some executive type lets his little buddy do the thinking.

  • Vel Venturi

    In a world in which one may buy bathrobes fashioned to look like Jedi robes, or a TARDIS, or emblazoned with various superhero logos, why would anyone want such a sad excuse for a robe?

    • Zombishroom

      It’s not even a robe!

      • thebeatgoeson

        I know! Looks like a hooded sweatshirt to me…

  • Zombishroom

    If anyone is going to steal a band name from this article I’m working on the rights to ‘eating chicken standing up’ so don’t bother.

    • ResistanceFictionista blondeiq

      I’m still trying to figure out the subtext of that image. The open fridge door, the tiny chicken, the affected “British tea drinking” hand gesture…what is going on here? So disturb. Much creepy.

      • Petunia Cat

        Interesting. 🤔

        What I like is it’s an actual icebox! The kind that has a huge block of ice in the bottom. And is just kind of big food humidor.

        Noel Coward leaving the door open is showing he likes to live dangerously. 🍸

  • Wes

    Wait, isn’t the dude robe just a half-zip hoodie?

  • Edith Prickly

    Sorry to be an evil old feminist shit-tester, but a hoodie and sweatpants combo is a track suit, not a robe. #garmentfail

    • SomeOtherDude

      And rarely worn by anyone in the vicinity of a track.

  • Edith Prickly
  • Darlenegjones

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  • Lily412

    I’m okay with the duderobe.

    This however: “unlimited power with zero accountability.”
    LOL FOREVER. No woman has ever had that.

  • So the “duderobe” is a hoodie with some shitty embroidery? ‘kay.

    There’s something so cravenly pathetic in Roosh’s attempts to suck up to the white supremacist wing of the MRAs (that Venn diagram is almost a circle) with would-be edgy theorizing about women’s love of “brown migrants”, since they all consider him a “greasy Muzzie” and/or put his name in double parentheses—they can’t agree on what he is, they just know he isn’t one of them. I almost feel sorry for him, then I remember that he’s a rapist, so fuck him.

  • whitroth

    Well, the pics at the top, the two on the left are robes; the one on the right is a smoking jacket (Sherlock Holmes wore them, and I’ve worn them; nice when you don’t want to turn the heat up).

    “Duderobes” sounds like an alt-wrong idiot grifter.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    As someone who has long been committed to a lot of fucked up macho bs that I recognize is bs and still like anyway, what these people think is and isn’t manly is senseless.

  • Stulexington

    “take the vote from women and you get that tackled in one generation.” This is one of the reasons these assholes are so insecure. They are often forced to recognize that more men voted in favour of Women getting the vote than against it. More white folks voted in favour of PoCs voting than against it.

    They are forced more and more often to confront the fact that they are in the minority and have been for a very long time.

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