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Who came up with this crazy shit?

Now that Senate Republicans have released their version of Killing Obamacare (by Bill O’Reilly), several senators who were on the super-secret committee tasked with writing the thing are very happy, because now they can take the time to carefully read the bill they allegedly wrote. Shortly before Majority Leader Mitch McConnell scheduled the release of the amusingly named “Better Care Reconciliation Act,” at least two members of the group of 13 senators on the task force said they really didn’t know what was in it. Take that, fake Nancy Pelosi talking point!

Here’s Utah’s Mike Lee, who the Salt Lake Tribune noted Wednesday was on the group supposedly writing the bill:

“I’ve had a lot of people ask me, specifically, when the health care bill is going to be released to the public, why it isn’t public,” he said in an online video addressing constituents. “The short answer to the question is that I haven’t seen it either.”

Lee, who is a GOP member of the working group tasked with drafting the legislation, said “it’s not being written by us.”

“It’s apparently being written by a small handful of staffers for members of the Republican leadership in the Senate,” he added.

Now that he knows what he wrote, he’s decided, along with Ted Cruz, Rand Paul, and Ron Johnson of Wisconsin, that the bill’s not quite cruel enough, because it doesn’t really, REALLY repeal the Affordable Care Act.

Senator Cory Gardner of Colorado was another guy on all the lists of ACA assassins. The day before the bill dropped, he too said he hadn’t yet seen the thing he was so very busy writing behind closed doors:

“I have not [seen the bill’s text],” he told Denver7. “And what I’ve been told is a discussion draft will be released tomorrow, but I’ve not seen language or finalized language.”

And the secret process of writing the bill, which he was supposedly part of? He said Wednesday he didn’t like it, maybe because the process was so secret he wasn’t really part of it:

“We’re having those discussions on the bill. I think it ought to be an open process, and I’d like to see an open, transparent process,” Gardner said […]

“Just yesterday at the conference meeting, it was talked about—the need to have more time and transparency,” he said.

And yes, in that interview with a Denver teevee station, Gardner said the Republicans’ secrecy wasn’t all that different from that time Nancy Pelosi said Democrats would have to pass the bill in order to see what was in it, because obviously Cory Gardner is A IDIOT who doesn’t read Wonkette.

Once the bill he wrote became available for him to read, Gardner said he was “carefully reviewing” the bill he wrote, and wasn’t sure he could support the fruit of his labors.

Once the bill was released, other senators involved in “drafting” it said they would need to carefully read it before they vote for it. Pat Toomey of Pennsylvania pledged to “thoroughly examine” the draft, but already insists it “doesn’t pull the rug out from anyone currently covered[.]” Rob Portman of Ohio, on the other hand, has “real concerns about the Medicaid policies in this bill” that he helped write, and isn’t sure he can get behind it.

As for holding hearings on the bill that they all wrote but didn’t know the contents of, the Republicans don’t seem very keen on the idea. They might actually schedule a public hearing on the bill, but only in a nonexistent hearing room, and at a time when they’re all out of Washington for the the 4th of July recess, said spokesman Major Major Major.

[Money / Salt Lake Tribune / CNN / The Denver Channel / Denver Post / CBS Pittsburgh / WaPo]

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  • Mr. Blobfish

    Why not call it the ALEC Act and be done with it?

    • PubOption

      American Legislators Exterminate Citizens?

      • persistently_resistant_gayby

        Bravo, sir. Bravo.

      • Nockular cavity

        Stealing that.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      ALEC literally hands my state legislators a copy of legislation they’ve written, which the legislators then always just vote “yes” on. Nothing like living in a one party, deep red state.

      • Gabby Parsons

        You describe Wisconsin since 2011.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • mancityRed6

      oh dog, the times are bad when I’m glad that wasn’t the “chamber” that first came to mind.

  • lowenufc

    I think I broke my head trying to follow the logic that these pinheads haven’t read the bill they wrote, so until they read what they wrote they don’t know what they wrote.
    GHihjhasgrjn.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      My understanding is that these few senators (all R, all male, all white) were supposed to be the working group that was writing it, but it turned out the actual “writing” was delegated away from even them. It’s dawning on them that their constituents don’t like it, so they’re distancing themselves from it with the plausible deniability gambit that they didn’t actually write it, the buck stops over there. It’s just stupid.

      • (((fka_donnie_d)))

        Wait, you mean they were smart ennough to write it in the first place?

        Doubtful.

        • Opalescent Riddles

          I’d say they were verbal enough to voice initial agreement to be on the group, but not to actually contribute substantively.

        • These guys weren’t elected to write legislation, they were elected to troll liberals.

          • lowenufc

            Fuckin’ Takers.
            We can still use that, right?

      • distancing themselves from it with the plausible deniability gambit that they didn’t actually write it

        “We’re not just evil, we’re also lazy!”

      • MrTusks

        Nah, they just garbled some bullshit in committee and told their aides to write it down. They haven’t read what their aides wrote, and if they have, they don’t remember what they asked for or the aides had no hope of translating what they thought they said.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • calliecallie

      I am loving Jimmy Kimmel more and more all the time.

  • Stulexington

    So what the fuck were they doing there if they weren’t actually participating in rewriting the bill? Were they combining fucking away the people’s money by getting paid for doing literally nothing with letting the industry write everything? Were they just voting on which industry written garbage bill they’d go with with an added twist that they weren’t even allowed to read it, just show their trust in the company(s) that penciled their name on the top?

    • Opalescent Riddles

      All of them, Katie.

    • SterWonk

      They will doubtless say that they were discussing the broad strokes and “principles”, which they then passed on to the staffers to convert into the actual text. Which is not a completely unreasonable way to do it, actually, except that in most cases they’d get the actual text back from the staffers and review it before sending it to the main floor.

      • Stulexington

        Staffers, lobbyists; tomato, tuberculosis.

      • The GOP caucus made it quite clear during the many, many ACA hearings that they don’t fancy reading legislation.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      What were they doing? What else? Complaining that the Democratic minority was obstructing by not being “bipartisan” in supporting the bill.

  • Vincent Ricola

    “Better Care Reconciliation Act”

    Better care not to get sick or pregnant.
    Better care not to be a protester in a wheelchair exercising your first amendment rights outside Mitch McConnell’s office.
    Better care not to have a vagina.

    Motherfuckers.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Let me guess who wrote it…the same people who wrote their term papers?
    https://papersowl.com

  • Villago Delenda Est

    “We have to give our parasite overclass masters their tax cut, but we don’t want to offend all those voters out there, so this is the best baffling with bullshit we can pull off.”

  • memzilla Ω
    • Villago Delenda Est

      This guy’s haid would look infinitely better on a pike than on his shoulders.

      Just sayin’.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Pull my finger.

    • PubOption

      He has become death, the destroyer of families.

      • Vincent Ricola

        Become?

        • Barbarajphillips

          our neighbor’s sister-in-law makes 89 dollars per hour on the internet, she has been unemployed for 10 months.. the previous month her revenue was 20382 dollars only working on the laptop three hours per day…➤ go here to this link
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    • Nockular cavity

      Jeesh. Just because his species lives for two hundred years…

  • Bill D. Burger
  • BadKitty904

    As ever, the GOP Congress will do/say whatever their owners tell them to do/say.

    The only way to stop them is constant vigilance and action, action, action. We the People outnumber them, they’re absolutely dependent on our tax-dollars, and they sit in Congress only as long as WE let them.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      The problem isn’t the idiot GOP Congress, the problem is that millions of idiots agree with them, and vote for them. The only way we’ll ever actually get rid of them is to allow them to have their way for a while.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • memzilla Ω
  • FlownΩver

    Regardless of the words we need Kill Bill: Vol. 3 NOW!

  • SterWonk

    With all apologies to Douglas Adams:

    “But the plans BCRA draft text were was on display…”

    “On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them it.”

    “That’s the display department.”

    “With a flashlight.”

    “Ah, well, the lights had probably gone.”

    “So had the stairs.”

    “But look, you found the notice draft, didn’t you?”

    “Yes,” said Arthur, “yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the Leopard.;”

    • msanthropesmr

      I think that the Senate is rapidly taking the place of the Sirius Cybernetics marketing division.

      • theblackdog

        Or Weyland Yutani

      • NotReallyHere

        “a bunch of mindless jerks who’ll be the first against the wall when the revolution comes,”

        Yeah, that sounds about right.

    • Stulexington

      Should be “beware of face eating leopard” but otherwise bang on.

      • eka

        is that what happened to McConnell?

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    In fairness, the Senate bill generously funds benches outside hospitals and doctor’s offices for the comfort of people who cannot get actual health care. Waiting for CBO estimate on how many benches will be needed.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Why is everbidy’ so upset. Uhhh…I have the details right here in my shell…..somewhere…

    http://www.bilgebucket.com/wp-content/uploads/mcconnellturtleelectionfraud.gif

  • persistently_resistant_gayby

    Yer Friendly Reminder that had Pat Toomey, Ron Johnson and Richard Burr lost their seats, we wouldn’t have had this idiot time waste of a bill.

    • mancityRed6

      there would have been other patsies, it still would have happened.

      • persistently_resistant_gayby

        Eh, not as much. Schumer would’ve told them to sit on it.

        There’s a direct fucking line to a repeal now.

        • ariel_gee_398

          Feingold would have led the charge against this bullshit.

        • mancityRed6

          I know he tried this time, but they still want a vote next week. the names behind it wouldn’t have mattered. they have a slim majority now and the people who voted for them wont’…aw hell, they’ve been promising this for 8 years now. they’ll never really get called on the carpet by their voters.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Well, if all those seats had flipped, Schumer would be the Majority Leader.

          • mancityRed6

            if wishes were horses, even beggars would ride.
            it took seven years of W to get even slim majorities in both houses, I really hope it takes less time this go ’round.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    I seem to remember Walnuts Hard Candy McCain pulled a similar stunt over his own immigration bill. He decided he couldn’t support the bill he’d written, because all of a sudden the GOP decided to make hating immigrants a talking point.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      You’d think McCain would have learned something during his visit to the Hanoi Hilton, but apparently not.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        He should have been voted out of office after The Keating Five scandal.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    “Killing Obamacare (by Bill O’Reilly)”

    What, no Kill [the] Bill jokes?

    (It’s early, on coffee number one, somebody make that work for me? KTHXBAI.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      whoops, shoulda scrolled down and should known smart ass wonkers would be ON that.

  • Opalescent Riddles

    The senate’s bill is titled “Better Care Reconciliation Act” or BCRA. That’s one minor dyslexic, phonetic, or typographical substitution to BRCA, which would be pronounced “burka”. COINCIDENCE? I dunno, YOU TELL ME.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    “Killing Democracy” by Bill O’Reilly, with foreword by Donald Trump. In bookstores this summer.

    • ariel_gee_398

      If by “foreword” you mean photocopy of his ass and/or junk, I might believe it.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I’m really glad I’m not a breakfast-eater sometimes…

  • canes_pugnaces

    Here’s the good news. Trump voters are equally as likely to be negatively impacted by this nightmare as Democrats. In some states, more so. The bad news: they think it’s Obama’s fault and will still vote for the stain.

    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      They can’t telll anymore. They’re neck deep in Republican garbage…

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Tax cuts for their masters will more than compensate them for their loss of healthcare. Win/win.

  • Bill D. Burger

    TrumpCo’ can’t wait to declare victory and celebrate (as they did when the House sent this abomination up to the Senate) The Trump Wealthcare Bill and the transfer of more and more wealth to the already obscenely wealthy … aka: The GOP owners.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f9fcdf71cab51570ae0ac92345b9238e23b87488ebd7bb3c0ca7ed7b42b20369.gif

    • canes_pugnaces

      Nice gif. We live in GOP country. RAcist. Right wing. Anti-intectual. And mean, like Conny said. One has to assume that the majority of voters on WV are getting what they want: no jobs, no insurance, no innovation, no future.

      • Meccalopolis

        Almost as if they know they can fuck over their own voters with zero consequences

  • Mpeg

    Health care legislation that magically “writes itself”??
    This is the worst scandal since that fraud-in-chief Obama’s autopen!

  • Ilgattomorte

    As I wrote yesterday, when I called Toomey’s office to question his participation in the bill his staffer said, and I quote, “Well I can’t state what he did or did not know or what he may have contributed, or if he contributed anything at all.”

    This is the legacy of the Trump administration. Truth doesn’t matter. Facts don’t matter, and matter times the speed of light squared is no longer energy. It just all doesn’t matter. If they manage to pass this load of crap they know all they have to do is hand it to Trump. He’ll hold a bunch of rallies. The rubes will cheer and the Republican base will be secured. That plus the gerrymandering should keep them in jobs, so that by the time the pain kicks in the rubes won’t even know who to blame.

    • Mpeg

      SayItWithWookies read an excerpt from your post yesterday out loud to me from his smartphone while we were at a shin-dig and the subj of this healthcare nonsense came up. I’m now thanking you for doing your part good sir/ madam~

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      That fucker BARELY got re-elected. Fuck him sideways with his mother’s dildo if he thinks he’s representing his constituents with this crap.

      • Ilgattomorte

        From your lips to God’s ears.

      • NastyBossetti

        He definitely doesn’t care about representing his constituents. That is much is clear.

    • NastyBossetti

      If you have to have your staff act like they don’t know what you’ve done, to make it look like you didn’t contribute, maybe you should have thought twice about your involvement in this shit show.
      My feedback, since he requested it in his stupid statement yesterday was that they should scrap the whole thing and start over, but try writing from the point of view of someone who isn’t a craven piece of garbage this time.

  • We’re going to need a national McColonoscopy to see how bad things really are in the bill.

    • Notreelyhelping

      See this mass right here, next to Paul Ryan’s head? We think this may be blocking the flow of common humanity from the heart to the head.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Have no idea if the National Review is any decent but this article was a good read.
    http://www.nationalreview.com/article/448890/end-employer-based-health-plans

    • Michael Smith

      Looks like National Review trying admit that there might be something to be said for government involvement in health, without instantly alienating its entire readership.

    • Jennifer R

      The National Review is a joke of a libertarian rag usually. It had some conservative respect 25 years ago but blew all of that on a wad for W.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Well then it is interesting they are basically saying that if you want a Swiss type healthcare then you need to have an Swiss type style of governing which basically forces its citizens to have insurance with heavy penalties if they don’t.

        • Jennifer R

          They think the swiss style government is basically Nazism usually.

        • nonono

          That sounds nice and reasonable but what the US super-right subtext means is “some” people seem to think universal healthcare might be a good thing but “other” people don’t want to pay taxes to help the general good.

    • Wild Cat

      Avoid the National Review, Robert. It was founded by closet queen William F. Buckley, Jr., a pseudo-aristocrat who brought “Conservatism” back to America. They engaged in heavy racist/reactionary politics. They are one of the causes of why the US is in permanent decline and a danger to the world. They were never “respectable.” They went from evil to more evil to just banal evil. They actually thought partial nuclear war against the Soviets may have an upside.
      Dank u well for listening to my rant.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Sadly, I’ve watched enough MLP to know Pinkie Pie would be kinder and smarter about writing a healthcare bill then the current gaggle of Republican chimpanzees drunk on tax cuts.

  • Not Actually A Commenter

    Its a bit surprising to me how angry I am – serious nostrils flaring, spittle-flecked rage – that they have called this the BCRA. It is an acronym clearly designed to bury, confuse and be resistant to googling, much like Blackwater’s first renaming to “Xe.” Its also a thumb in the eye to women’s health advocates, since google will almost certainly say “did you mean BRCA?” Which has ten bazillion more hits, and which will probably be classed as a preexisting condition.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I think the “Fuck You And Go Die Care Act” has a certain ring to it.

      • theblackdog

        FYGDCA just doesn’t quite roll off the tongue

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Figdaca? It does suffer as an acronym.

  • La forza del resistino

    The GOP would gladly drop all these pesky insurance details and settle on defunding PP and call it a win.

    • Proud Liberal

      After all, that’s their main goal. Punish the womenz.

  • mackafritz

    So what did this Gang of 13 do all day, have a circle jerk?

    • Proud Liberal

      They let the lobbyists write the bill while they fallated each other.

    • elviouslyqueer

      SOP. All day, every day.

  • If ya’ll get one thing done today, please let it be a phone call to your senators to register your concerns about this bill.

  • Proud Liberal

    Republicans are why we can’t have nice things in this country.

  • Ninja0980

    https://twitter.com/AriBerman/status/877586756224385024
    This so much.
    Quite frankly, the focus on four special elections in deep red districts drove me nuts.
    We want to fight back against Trump and Republicans, then we need to focus on taking power back at the state level, which we haven’t done..to our own peril.

    • Stulexington

      Um … are there any State legislative and gov races currently going on or ramping up?

      • theblackdog

        VA and NJ this year. Everyone else in 2018.

        VA is especially important because that state has been turning purple but if the NoVA folks ignore this election the governorship could go back to a Republican. I don’t know if their Senate is still a lost cause but maybe there’s a few potential pickups.

        • Stulexington

          Then super agree, throw the spotlights onto something that’ll actually mean something other than a moral victory!

          • theblackdog

            I would be shocked if they didn’t already have plans to do this anyway since those elections are in November and we needed to get through these elections first. It’s all about the timing. If they didn’t throw a spotlight on the special elections and only focused on VA and NJ we would be accusing them of ignoring the House and Senate they want to take back.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Yeah, we’re already seeing candidates throw their hats in to start seeing what support is out there for them.

        • theblackdog

          Yup, my county exec just threw his hat in for MD Governor next year.

    • calliecallie

      Especially have to turn as many legislatures as possible blue by 2020, when the next redistricting gets underway. At least in those states that still let the majority decide the districts.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Rep. Tom Reed (R) of NY just clarified it all for us libtards when talking to Halle Jackson on MSNBC:

    Jackson: “But you haven’t seen the Senate version. How can you say you support it.”

    Reed: “All I can say…uhhh….In the end, it is what it is. Whatever it is, it’s got to be better than Obamacare.”

    There you are America. How can you argue with that kind of logic and clarity? It’s what you expect from the enlightened and great intellects of the GOP.
    BoooYaaaah!

  • canes_pugnaces

    I read the Wonkette. I pay the Wonkette to make my day. But I disagree with the Wonkette, too: Pelosi really needs to go away.

    • William Cook for now

      Oh yeah, a bunch of infighting at the top will really lock up the elections some 18 months away.

    • Proud Liberal

      Why is that?

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Because Barbarians respect surrender?

    • Oblios_Cap

      You know what they say about opinions. They’re like assholes; everybody has one.

      There’s more, but it slips my mind.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        I thought it went “Opinions are like assholes, they all stink”?

        • Oblios_Cap

          More like “Opinions are like assholes; everybody has one. And yours stinks.”

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Because Democrats lost a seat in a deep red district with a second string candidate, lets all play circular firing squad! Whoopee! Newt Gingrich approves!

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          Yup! Why are so many people thinking “all is lost” because Democrats failed to flip a seat that has been a safe republican seat since 1979?

          1979, people. Most of the registered voters there have NEVER even HAD a Democrat representing them.

  • anwisok
  • elviouslyqueer

    In related news, Mitch McConnell still needs to fuck the entire fucking fuck off forever in hell effective right this instant.

    • Proud Liberal

      Cheetolini and he are some kind of cruel joke being played on the American people.

      • freakishlypersistent

        That they voted for, I know, amiright?

  • Proud Liberal

    This bill is a TAX CUT bill for the wealthy at the expense of everyone else.

    • La forza del resistino

      What really matters is affording preferred parking at the Doc’s office,

  • theblackdog
    • La forza del resistino

      I miss KJG. Too bad ShareBlue doesn’t appreciate the value of her dick jokes.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Wild Cat

      Treason is the new black.

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      Treason and senator have the same letters.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Mind Blown!

    • TJ Barke

      FUCK YOU MITCH MCCONNELL, YOU EVIL PIECE OF SHIT! IF THERE’S A HELL YOU’LL ROAST THERE FOREVER IN SATAN’S TURTLE SOUP!

    • Doug Langley

      I still cannot BELIEVE the Democrat running against McConnell was so awful that he actually looked like the better candidate.

  • Wild Cat

    Suggested Democratic Talking Point:

    A SECRET GOP POLITBURO IS TRYING TO TAKE AWAY YOUR HEALTH CARE AND KILL YOU.

    Repeat 1,000x daily. Everywhere.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    And of course the wingers are bleating that all the protests are “fake” because “how can you protest something you haven’t read?” Because, you know, it was a complete mystery what was in the box until they opened it.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      They’re also claiming those disabled protestors were “false flag” paid protestors.

      What’s worse is that they’re claiming this on message boards where disabled people organize for protest. I kid you not.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Protests are only real if they’re funded by the Koch brothers.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Those are “grassroot movements”.

      • cmd resistor

        This makes me really pissed.

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          Me too. I am not about to let this one go either.

      • mailman27

        I doubt you not, FFS.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      You mean like the “fake” protests at the townhall meetings in 2009 on Obamacare? After all, the ACA was crafted in secret and rammed down everyone’s throats with no hearings, so how could the right protest something they’d ever seen?

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    OT: the sun finally came out here on the Gulf. Four days with no sunlight. Very good news.

    • Proud Liberal

      Enjoy!

    • Jennifer R

      You can have some of my 105 degrees then.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Okay, but you have to take some of my eight inches of standing water and floating fortresses of deadly red ants.

        • Bemused Australian

          The ants have a navy? Not good.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            They are fully militarized now. They likely even have a Panzer division.

          • Bemused Australian

            Heavy

          • OddMan

            Them?

          • Bad Tom

            A Navy tank division?
            That might be unique.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Weaponized hover crafts? Very G.I. Joe tech.

        • Reddishrabbit

          If Trumpcare doesn’t get you Global warming will!

    • elviouslyqueer

      Glad to hear y’all came through Cindy okay. She’s up this way now, being all windy and rainy and shit.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Be prepared, she’s not the worst, but she’s nothing to take lightly. Lots of damage and some casualties.

        Most of all, prepare for the rain. This dropped so much rain in such a short amount of time.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Somehow I managed not to have any nightmares about the massive floating islands of fire ants I read about the other day.
          I knew ants did that, and I find it fascinating and amazing (yeah, science!) but I’d just as soon observe from afar. Very afar!

  • Bill D. Burger
    • elviouslyqueer

      Why somebody hasn’t slapped the white clean off his face is a mystery to me.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Lying is his first language.

      • Raan

        That’s a lot of slapping.

    • TJ Barke

      TURTLE FUCKER!

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Part of the fun of watching those montages of Republicans complaining that Obamacare is being rushed through Congress without a proper hearing is to watch the dates change as month after month goes by.

    • mailman27

      This clown is the most unrepentant-lyin-ass-greasy-souled-goin-to-hell-fer-sher-
      nutsack-looking asshole to come down the political pike for a long time. Beneath contempt, all kidding aside.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      ^^ Paid Protestor^^

      Who the hell thinks someone is “faking” that?

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Oh, about fifteen million of the dumbest people in this country, the ones who keep Breitfart in business.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          If anything good comes of that disgusting display, it MAY be that it’s got people PISSED. I’m seeing people on my FaceySpacey feed who are not generally sympatico with our ilk (though not generally as derptastic as your average Breitfarter) and they are disgusted. As they should be.
          I hate thinking in such a mercenary way, but when we look back years from now, we might see that this served as an important turning point.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Oblios_Cap

      Revisionist history for $200, Alex.

      • Me not sure

        “Covfefe stooge”… BUZZZ!

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      These guys have a tweet that contradicts them for every situation! It’s almost like they’re fucking hypocrites or something.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Republicans have no sense of object permanence.

      • MizzMazz

        Just like toddlers.

      • Natalie

        Or technology.

    • Bigby

      You can easily be a raging fucking hypocrite about literally everything if you have absolutely zero shame. And it’s a prerequisite to have zero shame to be a Rethug. Shame is for Lesser People.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • DesertedPictures

      Impossible: if the rich get richer they will let their new wealth trickle down on us. With the great GOP golden shower everyone will be able to afford health care without dirty socialism!

    • Doug Langley

      Wait – there’s still a middle class?? Why did no one tell me?

    • TakingAmes

      But then who would the rich piss on?

      • SeeTrain65

        The same things they always do … the poor and middle class’s graves.

  • Someone please get Pinkie Pie some reading glasses.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack
  • eka

    I think my resist groups are losing their grip on reality. They think toomey can be convinced to vote no when he’s said he’s voting for it and he helped write it. i still think we need to yell at him just to remind him we still care, but no way is he going to start caring about the impact of this on pennsyvlanians now.

    • Marceline

      A lot of resisters have zero idea how government works. It’s sad but true.

      • eka

        you’d think they’d make the effort to learn instead of prematurely shouting at clouds, but no …

      • Johan Meijlaers

        A lot of the current *government has zero idea how government works…

  • calliecallie

    When is McConnell up for reelection? If the whole wonkettariat moved to Kentucky for just that election cycle, maybe we could get rid of him.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      2020.

      • calliecallie

        Good. I was just thinking I need to be in a new state for the next census anyway.

    • eka

      can we apply for some sort of grant for that?

    • alpacapunchbowl

      The Great Wonkette Migration. I like it! When’s Ryan up?

      • Ryan’s up next year. A pro-healthcare, union activist ironworker named Randy Bryce has announced he’s running against him.
        https://twitter.com/IronStache

        • alpacapunchbowl

          I did hear about that guy, I heard there’s also a woman throwing her hat in the ring. Haven’t done any research yet on either of them.
          https://cathymyersforcongress.com

  • MOG253

    Slogged through it yesterday, ugh. Reading legislation is a skill and I’ve been out of that racket for over 10 years. But you don’t have to get too far in to find that abortion is out (pg. 10). The insurance companies that assisted in writing this mess should be ashamed. Also the senators who said they were involved, as well as their aides. Working for the devil has a price. It’s a hot mess.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      I haven’t seen it either, and I’m not sure I can get behind it.

  • SayItWithWookies

    So if nobody wrote this bill, then who did? I doubt McConnell has drafted a bill in years – he just gets them from lobbyists. I’m betting it was a couple insurance executives, a Heritage Foundation loon, the ghost of Antonin Scalia, and probably a Russian spy.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Maybe it was those same Heritage foundation interns Bush Jr sent to fix Iraq after he broke it. They have experience in this kind of thing. Destroying civil society, that is.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Don’t forget the Mercers! Also, no need for “spy,” they simply had their Russian handlers do it.

  • WY_cryptid

    I’m betting my two senators- Enzi and Barrasso- just pasted stuff into the bill from their lobbying contributor’s newsletters: Big Pharma for Your Re-election, and Extraction Execs Giving Kickbacks for Your Pocket. Still amazed those two yokels made the secret writing group.

  • JAKvirginia

    Sorry, I can’t come to work today so I can better understand what it is I do.

    Makes no sense to me but maybe my Republican boss will buy it. Y’think?

  • UnsaltedSinner

    I guess this bill was written in the same way the deadly Funniest Joke in the World in the Monty Python sketch was translated into German, with each member of the committee contributing one word, but no one actually reading the whole text.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      MY DOG HAS NO NOSE

      • HOW DOES HE SMELL?

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          HE…VAS….AN…ASSAULTED….PEANUT! Seig Heil!

    • SeeTrain65

      One thing is for sure: This bill wouldn’t sound any better in the original German.

  • HazooToo

    Pat Toomey refuses to listen to his Democrat constituents, obviously. It doesn’t matter if he’s read the bill or not, he will still keep trying to dismantle the ACA, because Obama.

  • SullivanSt

    Drafting a healthcare repeal bill like you plan a bypass:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwS0wTKxo5E

  • OneYieldRegular

    To be fair, Republican Senators just don’t have time to write the “Better Care” bill because they’re too busy forcibly dragging disabled Americans out of their wheelchairs.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      AND DROPPING THEM

      • Natalie

        Reminds me of throw Mama from the train, except now it’s throw Granny off the cliff.

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          Where’s Richard Widmark when they need him?

  • La forza del resistino

    Go ahead and pass your GOP patient centric bill and I’ll wait by the mailbox for my premium rebate check from Aetna at the mailbox.

    • JustDon’tSayShank

      You might want to bring a chair and some snacks.

  • BearLeft

    ‘Cause America just can’t be great again with all these sick people hangin’ on, dontcha see?

  • JackLinks

    Wouldn’t it be great to expose the names of the people that actually wrote the bill?
    I’m sure if there was a substantial cash reward for anyone who named the writers of the bill (Senators on average aren’t anywhere near smart enough to actually write up a bill) that within a few hours the writer’s would have their names and faces splashed across the net!
    Think of the crowds of PO ‘ed folks and the press waiting around at their office’s and homes to interview these scumbuckets!

  • 451 Byrnes

    Yossarian!

    • doktorzoom

      Washington Irving!!!????

      • SeeTrain65

        “That’s a hell of an Ichabod, that Ichabod Crane.”

        Wait … I don’t think I did that right.

      • 451 Byrnes

        Joseph Heller.

  • BeachBum

    How this is different from the 75 years of Red Communist’s Rule of the USSR is beyond me. Needs moar Gulags.

  • azeyote

    they could of made the ACA better but they are vile scum so of course they have to make it worse – worse is the new best in alt fact land where corporations know how to regulate themselves, would never take advantage of us, and generously profit share with the country that let them hoard the wealth of a nation

  • What is horrifying is that none of these bastards can see any need to make it better for the public. Sure is plenty for the 1% ers and insurance companies and sadistic teabaggers but nothing for people who need a doctor they can afford.

    Anybody still need proof that God is dead?

  • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

    Oh my God, they’ve simply let the Mercers and the insurance CEOS write it. I’m not even kidding.

  • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

    The most important thing, and I wish we could all shout it to the rooftops, is that most people truly think this only affects “People on Obamacare,” which is some vague group of freeloaders. But ALL OF US, all 250 million Americans with private health insurance, are going to be disastrously affected. We only have things like no denials for pre-existing conditions, no lifetime cap, mental health and substance recovery care, decent deductibles, full 100% coverage after a reasonable minimum, our kids covered to age 26, because of and since the ACA. These will be taken away from ALL OF US.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Kudos for the Catch-22 reference, Dok. If Joseph Heller were alive today, he wouldn’t be able to stop crying at how easily the Republican party has surpassed the lunacy he worked so hard to portray in his book.

  • mailman27

    Constituents interested in the details of the plan were referred to the ALEC website.

  • Zyxomma

    Of course, Gardner is a idiot who doesn’t read Wonkette. Duh.

    • phoenix00

      Even the trolls don’t read Wonkette.

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