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FCC Chairman Ajit Pai is a comic book villain, a corporate stooge who buried his nose in the assholes of Republican lawyers and lobbyists long enough to wield power as a mostly unsung government bureaucrat. Pai, a self-proclaimed technology and small business advocate, has spent the past two decades spitting in the face of prisoners and the poor, while attempting to break apart the Internet into chunks just big enough for a telecom to swallow. He’s very efficient.

Pai got right to work screwing the poor and the indigent before even being nominated to office. He started off with the Inmate Calling System (ICS), an effort to lower the cost of phone calls for prison inmates. Under previous FCC chair Tom Wheeler, the FCC tried to put a cap on the rates phone companies were charging prisoners in the ever-expanding private prison system after it was revealed that they regularly charge triple the normal rate for long distance calls. Pai didn’t think prisoners and their families should be charged the same rates as everyone else, so he pulled support of the program, thus allowing phone companies to continue screwing people who were already being punished, as well as their families.

ICYMI

After he finished squelching the songs of jailbirds, Pai reached out and slapped some welfare queens by limiting access to cheap phones and Internet. Created under godless hippy Marxist Ronald Reagan, the federal Lifeline program gives poor people phone service at a steep discount. Lifeline was later expanded by President Kenya McFreebie to include broadband internet and cellphone access so the poors could bootleg cartoon pony shows while filling out job applications.

Pai felt that the Lifeline program was rampant with fraud and states should make the decision on who who is poor enough to get an Obamaphone or Obamanet. He argued that although wireless carriers were duplicating names, it was really the fault of consumers, but a GAO report found rampant fraud and laid blame on the telecoms, concluding, “We’re currently letting phone companies cash a government check every month with little more than the honor system to hold them accountable, and that simply can’t continue.”

The fact that Pai likes to push for corporate deregulation isn’t much of a surprise given that he spent several years lawyering for Verizon on regulatory policy and broadband issues. In his view, the Internet is too heavily regulated, thus stifling Internet access for rural communities, and harming the mythical innovations they have no incentive to achieve.

In reality, Internet Service Providers (ISP) have large, well entrenched monopolies throughout the country and routinely neuter the attempts of local governments to create their own municipal fiber infrastructure projects in order to squash competitors. Under Obama, previous FCC Chairman Tom Wheeler fought to classify the Internet as a utility, like water and electricity, after a massive study (and John Oliver) concluded that everyone in America is being royally screwed by telecom companies.

Your internet sucks because Comcast sucks.
No, it’s not just your town, the U.S. just has shitty Internet.

This is one of the reasons why net neutrality is so damn important. Net neutrality, the policy that all data is equal, is essential to maintaining the basic structure of the Internet. It’s the idea that an ISP can’t differentiate between visiting Wonkette, InstaBook SnapFace, or weird kaiju fetish porn. Without net neutrality, ISPs could charge additional fees to look at a specific website on top of your existing Internet connection, like they do with the movie and Skinemax channels on cable TV. If net neutrality regulations are rolled back it’s far more likely you’ll get worse service with higher prices.

Pai has long been a proponent of anti-net neutrality laws. Net neutrality, according to Pai, discourages telecom companies from investing in their networks, and when John Oliver did an entire show devoted to net neutrality (TWICE) to show how the FCC had begun to turn into a moldy shit-sandwich under Pai, thousands of fake comments began to appear on the FCC’s hidden comments section. When it was discovered that those comments all appeared at the same exact time, AND used stolen identities of real people, Pai and the FCC remained uncharacteristically silent.

Ajit Pai tries to pass himself off as a nerd, but that’s a lie as big as his obnoxiously oversized coffee cup. He’s the guy who shows up to Star Trek conventions gushing about Jar-Jar Binks. He’s the jerk who spoils Game of Thrones on Monday mornings, and confuses Gandalf with Dumbledore. He’s one of those people who believes the corporations should control access to information, not the people. He’s Trump’s lackey who has already screwed prisoners, the poor, and now he wants to screw everyone in America.

So here’s two ways you can fight back!

Easy Mode: You can go to https://www.battleforthenet.com/ and send a letter to Ajit Pai and let him know that we’re not going to let this happen.

Hard Mode: Go to https://www.GoFCCyourself.com, click “Express”, and fill out the form. This is public record, so remember your Emily Post.

Finally, I’ll leave you with Pai ripping off Jimmy Kimmel’s mean tweets bit to really drive home the fact that he’s an insensitive prick deserving of our public scorn.

[Law 360 / Ars Technica / Vice News Buzzfeed / Adam Ruins Everything (podcast) Adam Ruins Everything (TV)/ Wired / The Marshall Project / Alameda County District Attorney’s Office / USA Today / PBS Newshour / EFF / Ars Technica / Daily Beast / Tech Dirt]

Wonkette is free and open, and we want to keep it that way. Donate some money and we’ll make sure it stays that way, just like the Internet.

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  • BadKitty904

    Idjit Pie is a genuinely evil “man”. Even for a Republican.

  • Joe Beese

    I can tell I’m not gonna like this guy.

  • Joe Beese

    You like “open” threads, do you?

    Guess what this asshole is coming for next.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      From now, ISPs will be Mentos, the Freshmaker! allowed to insert ads at random Coke adds life! points in all open thread McDonalds–I’m Lovin’ it! comments.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Hey, Dom is doing other articles than briefings! raise your cups!

    • There was seriously a months worth of research I threw away on this. He may or may not be the reason why the “alt-right” controls Twitter bots.

      Seriously.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Serious investigative journalism takes months man. I won’t act like I did it myself but I did follow artists for a website for a period of time and then they would have a melt down or just a “change” in artistical meaning aaaand it’s gone.

        • I cut out 500 words to make room for net neutrality. He uses literal double-speak. Look up the “Truthy” project from Indiana University, and start pulling at that thread if you want to get really angry as you fall down a rabbit hole.

          • PeedeResistance

            Not sure which thread you mean? do you have a link? all the threads I’m finding are IU covering its ass with bullshit legalese…

      • BadKitty904

        a.) it wasn’t thrown away – WE appreciate it and I’m sure others will;
        b.) if he isn’t, I’m sure it’s not for lack of trying; a genuinely evil person.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        he is

      • Angry Red Bird DGAF

        How did he cause the trolls to get control of the twitter bots??

  • A Groucho Marxist

    I don’t want to sound too judgmental, but Ajit Pai is a fucking scumbag.

    • BadKitty904

      You’re just being polite.

  • armed_bears

    FYI… I think https://www.battleforthenet.com/ is busted or, perhaps, a Disqus subsidiary. Imma try later, and do the hard one now…

    • Working for me at the moment, it could also be getting doused in traffic.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        or it got “slow tracked”

      • armed_bears

        Worked just now… I think you are right to say it was volume…

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      It worked for me this morning

  • Latverian Diplomat

    So what if he’s evil, he has a comically oversized coffee mug!
    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/A19WvlNCAAEAGDw.jpg

    Endearing (*).

    (*) Not actually endearing.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      needz moar WORLDS BEST TYRANT

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Think how large a dookie you could leave in that mug….

    • elviouslyqueer

      He looks like the distorted weenie from Sausage Party.

  • Me not sure

    A shit pie is more like it.

  • Ducksworthy

    India is the world’s largest democracy yet it can’t find room for its Fascist minority and keeps exporting them to the U.S..

    • His heritage is irrelevant, and so is this song.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_peUxE_BKcU

    • Latverian Diplomat

      India has plenty of its own RWNJ creating problems for them, any that make it to American shores would be a drop in the bucket.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime.

      • Amy!

        Some of them, I’m sure, are good people.

    • C4TWOMAN

      India is an extremely complicated situation. It’s a democracy on paper, economically it’s a hell hole if you’re not rich. It is still possible to die of starvation in India– without a social safety net, democracy is rather fragile. Visiting Westerners of course are unlikely to see this side unless they’re working with charities.

      That doesn’t count the social challenges of being in a post colonial country, with reminders of the centuries old caste system still around. In many ways it’s a Libertarian paradise–what regulations? In such environments its not a surprise social darwinism produces opportunists who have the where with all to emigrant, gifting us with their assholerly…

  • borninatrailer

    Fuck. That. Turd Sandwich.

  • greyXstar

    I hate these people.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      They hate and despise us too, except they are supposed to be our servants, not our rulers.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        See also, cops?

      • greyXstar

        Yeah it’d really neat if we had some of that representational government I keep hearing so much about.

    • TJ Barke

      So very much…

  • BadKitty904

    A hi-tech Dinesh. And just as contemptible.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      He’s high tech in the sense that he has a Social Studies degree from Harvard and a Law degree from U of Chicago.

      • BadKitty904

        So, a political hack, put in place, not because of his qualifications, but to do the hatchet-work for the GOP’s owners.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Tech companies need lawyers too–unscrupulous ones, it seems.

  • bookish

    Mr. bone spurs claims “I’m a big military person”. Just like he’s a big Christian.

    http://abc30.com/news/trump-suggests-putin-would-have-preferred-clinton/2209961/

    • Latverian Diplomat

      His favorite military tactic is the Two Corinthians Gambit.

      • bookish

        Wherein he sits this one out. And the next one, too. Military service is for the proles.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef
  • Msgr_MΩment

    It’s the idea that an ISP can’t differentiate between visiting Wonkette, InstaBook SnapFace, or weird kaiju fetish porn.

    You know who else can’t differentiate between visiting Wonkette, InstaBook SnapFace, or weird kaiju fetish porn?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “To me, it’s just porn, it’s not a fetish.”
      — Godzilla

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Chuck Todd?

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Cynical, if true?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Well, given my own browser history…

  • Joe Beese

    Does Trump understand what happened to the obscenely rich, incompetent absolute ruler who colluded with foreign powers after the storming of the Bastille?

    http://www.metafilter.com/168157/Theres-a-good-chance-I-may-have-committed-some-lighttreason#7092218

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “I don’t anything about that, I’m just here for French Fourth of July.”
      — Donald Trump

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    It’s the idea that an ISP can’t differentiate between visiting Wonkette, InstaBook SnapFace, or weird kaiju fetish porn.

    HEY! Do I tell people your internet history?

  • Msgr_MΩment

    I’d say Adjit Pi is being irrational.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Lobbyists find him trascendental when it comes to regulatory barriers.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • I lol’d

    • dslindc

      It better make that loud, crazy connecting sound then, also too!

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Don’t tell Trump that part is called a handshake; it might give him ideas.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      If we also went back to simple, static web pages with no annoying videos, it might almost be worth it.

      • C4TWOMAN

        The real problem is the “auto-play”, which can really get evil when they decide to “hide” the video. I haven’t updated Adobe Flash for months because of this. Once I fixed it, but forgot how the next time the “ghost” video started playing and the only why to stop it, short of muting , is to kill the flash process.

        Grrr….

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Maybe some of us prefer our porn in 640×480 jpeg, it leaves more to the imagination.

    • elviouslyqueer

      We’ve got mail!

    • TJ Barke

      I can’t wait for porno jpegs to take 5 minutes to load…

      • C4TWOMAN

        “….And then the Porn Lobbyists stepped up and Net Neutrality was saved! The End”.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    OT Trump Summons Nixon Ghost, Gets Prayered At
    President Donald Trump, who has remained out of public view since returning from Europe late Saturday, welcomed evangelical leaders into the Oval Office on Monday for a prayer session.

    Verily, when your president starts to have Oval Office prayergasms, it’s pretty much over.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1DzJhDm804
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c60ceb355135bf293f4d34c08d4736bf25016505e88feabbca3ada9aa398e3c3.jpg

  • jesterpunk

    Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III isnt going to let Betsy Devos be the only one to meet with hate groups this week.

    http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/jeff-sessions-addresses-anti-lgbt-hate-group-doj/story?id=48593488

    Attorney General Jeff Sessions delivered a speech to an alleged hate group at an event closed to reporters on Tuesday night, but the Department of Justice is refusing to reveal what he said.

    Sessions addressed members of the Alliance Defending Freedom, which was designated an “anti-LGBT hate group” by the Southern Poverty Law Center in 2016, at the Summit on Religious Liberty at the Ritz-Carlton, Laguna Niguel, in Dana Point, California.

    The event promised to “bring together prominent legal advocates,
    scholars, cultural commentators, business executives and church leaders
    to examine the current state of religious freedom” and “develop legal
    and cultural strategies to allow freedom to flourish in the United
    States and around the world.”

    A spokesperson for the Department of Justice confirmed that Sessions
    addressed the Alliance Defending Freedom on Tuesday but did not respond
    to multiple requests to release his remarks. The Department of Justice
    released a transcript of remarks he delivered in Dallas earlier on
    Tuesday and a transcript of remarks he delivered in Las Vegas on
    Wednesday, but a transcript of his address to the Alliance Defending
    Freedom has yet to be released.

    • BadKitty904

      Perhaps they’re translating it from Russian to English.

    • Covfefe

      Who, besides hate groups, wants to meet with Betsy DeVos or Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III?

      • jesterpunk

        The group representing actual rape victims want to meet with Devos but she is ignoring them.

        • C4TWOMAN

          Wow, flunked out of Statemanship 101!

          • jesterpunk

            She is just meeting with Trump’s base.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Moron ADF:
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alliance_Defending_Freedom

      “Some of its funds come from the Richard and Helen DeVos Foundation,”

      If these are the same DeVos clan Betsy is part of, that’s cosy…

      • jesterpunk

        Damn I didnt even look them up when I made the comment about Devos.

  • Joe Beese

    Net neutrality and a free, open internet are important principles that are truly bipartisan, principles that free-speech advocates from leftist Twitter to right-wing subreddits can get behind. Why aren’t we doing better? Why is the fight for net neutrality so anemic?

    Sadly, the clearest and most obvious reason is that the rollback is essentially a done deal. Republicans control the federal government, and even if you could bring pressure to bear on your elected representatives, the FCC isn’t democratically elected and doesn’t have to answer so directly to voters. The primary mechanism that people have for action on this issue is useless. Public comments to the FCC are helpful in some ways, but the FCC has already indicated that it doesn’t really care — the comment system isn’t ballot; it’s a way of collecting data. Ajit Pai, the FCC chairman and former Verizon lawyer whose arguments on this issue have been at best specious and at worst dishonest, has signaled clearly his intent to end net-neutrality rules. Before he was even appointed under the Trump administration, he had said that net neutrality’s “days are numbered.”

    http://nymag.com/selectall/2017/07/the-free-open-internet-is-doomed-for-the-foreseeable-future.html

    • Part of the working theory behind it that you can put pressure and spotlight on the issue. He’ll have to go before congress to testify, and part of that means he would essentially lie under oath (officially, unlike all the other times where he bullshits).

      • Villago Delenda Est

        So, your typical Donald appointee, like Jayuf Sayshuns.

      • Joe Beese

        I don’t see what issues of fact he could be found to have lied about.

        “Slashing taxes on the ultra-wealthy will boost the economy!” is stupid but it’s not demonstrably false in the context of perjury.

        • Initially his/corporate statements were that net neutrality was unpopular. That was proven untrue with SOPA and PIPA, and the resulting outcry paved the way to Tier II classification of the Internet so that it fell under the same standards as all other modern utilities. It’s thought that they’ll again try the same argument, but that the resulting pressure and public backlash will either force their hand (because, you know, democracy) or he/they will perjure themselves during a congressional hearing. The added benefit is that it becomes a campaign/rallying point for candidates in 2018 and 2020.

  • bookish

    https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2017/07/trump-collusion-jr-get-away/533457/

    In contrast to Hannity and Gingrich, who this week set themselves up to defend Trump no matter what, National Review has now laid the foundations for turning on him

    http://www.nationalreview.com/node/449384/print

    • Villago Delenda Est

      They’ll always be National Socialist Review to me. The English-language edition of the Deutsche Beobachter.

      • Lordpnut

        Crypto-nazis.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef
    • I’m shocked.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        But are you concerned?

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          disturbed, evn…

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “It’s true, we just threw all our customer information in a Security Hole. Then someone else, dug it up. Turns out, security holes are bad things. Who knew?”
      — Verizon CIO

    • TJ Barke

      So clearly we should give them more power.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Something, something, free hand of the market, something….

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    What is Brian Doyle Murray doing on CNN with Ana Navarro and Brian Fallon?

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    These fuckers won’t be happy until they ruin everything nice

    • whitroth

      What are you doing with something nice? All nice things are our, and you can’t have any! You should be grubbing in the the mud with the rest of the pee-ons at Wonkette….

    • TJ Barke

      They won’t be happy until every goddamn thing in the world has a transaction on it.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    This asshole needs to be turned into a pie.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Or be hit with a cream pie.
      Either, or.

  • Panika MCD

    yay! it’s like breakfast for dinner having Dom in the afternoon!

  • C4TWOMAN

    Honestly, his sense of humour is pretty common among nerds, dare I say, even among these non-comments…

    The difference being no one here is trying to destroy net-neutrality over sanctimonious, out of touch, political positions. He’s clearly quite privileged and sheltered, and thinks himself smarter than everyone else. If I was to guess, politically I expect someone like him to have An-Cap leanings–

    Tl;Dr he’s a complete wanker.

    • Panika MCD
    • TJ Barke

      An Caps are scum and I fucking hope they all catch on vote.

    • Angry Red Bird DGAF

      What is An Cap?

      • TJ Barke

        “Anarcho” capitalist. Which is bullshit because they aren’t anarchist by any stretch of the imagination.

        • Angry Red Bird DGAF

          Got it. The folks who want to destroy the laws that don’t benefit them but keep the ones that do.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Wasn’t modern anarchism a response to Industrial Capitalism, because Government was the friend of the owners, democracy was a sham, and the fix was in?

          • TJ Barke

            Essentially, yes.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            So, conservatives using words they don’t understand, again, just to sound cool?

          • TJ Barke

            As usual.

        • Komsumverweigerer Ron

          They need a government to give them a gloss of legitimacy (and protection) as they rob their customers.

      • C4TWOMAN

        It’s a species of Libertarian too cowardly to just admit they’re Social Darwinist Republicans. An-Cap is short for Anachro-Capitalist:

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anarcho-capitalism


        Anarcho-capitalism is a political philosophy that advocates the elimination of the state in favor of self-ownership, private property, and free markets. Anarcho-capitalists hold that, in the absence of statute (law by centralized decrees and legislation), society tends to contractually self-regulate and civilize through the discipline of the free market (in what its proponents describe as a voluntary society).[3][4]

        In an anarcho-capitalist society, law enforcement, courts, and all other security services would be operated by privately funded competitors rather than centrally through compulsory taxation. Money, along with all other goods and services, would be privately and competitively provided in an open market. Therefore, personal and economic activities under anarcho-capitalism would be regulated by victim-based dispute resolution organizations under tort and contract law, rather than by statute through centrally determined punishment under political monopolies.[5]

        Make of it what you will.

        • Beowoof14

          Wow that is some serious Bullshit. Most of the libertarian nerds would be subject to pretty harsh Darwinism.

          • C4TWOMAN

            You know that thing where Trump’s supporters vote against their own self interest? Kinda like the high octane version of that. All these An-Caps imagine they will be lords and rulers in the New Randroid Order.
            Most of them would be slaves.

    • akita96th

      I think Pai would have licked Trumps nasty old nutsack for that job..If Trump had not just give it to him for being a ready made douchebag. But ya never know what goes on behind a republican curtain, Pai might have enthusiastically gave those stinkies a lick or two and has not brushed his teeth nor gargled sense….WELL…….They like to play their little reindeer games.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Consenting adults….

  • whitroth

    1. The less prisoners have contact with friends and family, the higher the recidivism rate… oh, right, that’s great for the private prison business!
    2. Prisoners are sometimes limited *when* and *where* they can call. In ’04, the Brevard Co jail (Space Coast of FL), you could only call one phone number, and it had to be a land line..
    3. No, no, unleash, deregulate the telecoms, Engines of Innovation (ON HOW TO SCREW YOU). And people are for deregulation. I mean, here, I, personally, wrote to my Senators and Congressman in ’96, sort of, kind of, not really supporting it.

    AND THAT WAS BECAUSE I WAS WORKING FOR AMERITECH, A BABY BELL, AND THE CEO DEMANDED THAT ALL OF US NOT IN THE UNION WRITE THOSE LETTERS, AND HAD OUR MANAGERS AND DIRECTORS ORDER US TO NOT ONLY WRITE AND SEND THEM, BUT TO EMAIL HIM COPIES, AND COMPLAINED TO OUR DIRECTORS UNTIL WE FUCKING DID, and that wasn’t threatening our jobs, oh, no, WAS IT, DICK MOTHERFUCKER NOTEBART?!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The Telecoms are run by the same short term ROI MBA asshats as the rest of the corporations, so nothing good for the long term prosperity of the country can come from them.

      • Angry Red Bird DGAF

        Interesting thing about the ROI MBA’s, they never seem to notice when they’re the cause of the low ROI.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          that’s what the golden parachutes are for- to GTFO before the damage becomes obvious

          • Villago Delenda Est

            See Fiorina, Carly.

    • akita96th

      Thats what the underlying meaning of deregulation really stands for. Corporations will be free to fuk customers out of their money with no legal recourse for consumers with a grievance. Why? Because of preemptive contracts that have to be signed, giving away your rights to any legal recourse that is not run by the corporations, in other words they will have their own court. They want to fuk you any way they can, make you like it, make you ask for more, and dont even bitch, if your service gets cut off we will charge you twice the amount to cut it back on plus more deposite money…We can and will throttle your service if you use too much and charge you a fee for the excess. We will use your data at our pleasure, We can and we will sell it it, to whom we want when we want and without your permission. This is the new FFC head fuknuts agenda.
      You see how he taunts us..he is blowing raspberries at us..He knows we are fuked and he has the upperhand…So all idiots who voted for our new shit head and chief are definitely stupid beyond the normal….I laugh knowing you will also feel the pain.

      • whitroth

        No shit, Sherlock. Let me assure you – when I was working there, we had an entire division that spent insane hours, working up multiple, multiple plans, all of which would look great… and improve ROI.

        Oh, and Ameritech was swallowed by SBC, which people in TX thought might actually be worse than Ma Bell. Which then bought AT&T, and “rebranded” itself as AT&T.

        mark

  • Tiffany de Houston

    OT: I just saw a photo of Chump Jr’s wife and is it me, or does she look like Tomi Lahren’s twin sister? Both are over tanned, bleached blondes.

    • Beowoof14

      She may be dating again soon, as hubby will be going away for an extended stay.

  • Crystalclear12

    Is this enough “Burn it all down” for our purity princesses?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I was going to say something about Susan Sarandon and Donald Trump’s funeral pyre, but the Commenting Rules for Radicals bit my fingers.

    • Panika MCD
    • Zippy W Pinhead

      the revolution is happening!

      Any day now!

      Umm, just minute, I’m sure it’s here somewhere…

      • Crystalclear12

        I’m still waiting for the Bush revolution so, don’t hold your breath.

        • Canis Greyhame

          It sure didn’t take long after Bush cratered the global economy for everyone to forget who helped him do it (everyone who gets all their news from Fox & Friends, that is).

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “The contradictions have never been higher!”

    • it will cost you 10.97 to post that please.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg
    • Latverian Diplomat

      Fun fact, and one of the reasons the cracking of the Enigma was kept so secret:

      An estimated 100,000 Enigma machines were constructed. After the end of World War II, the Allies sold captured Enigma machines, still widely considered secure, to developing countries.

      from:
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enigma_machine#History

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        I did not know that.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Yep. Classic dick move by the allies.

      • Angry Red Bird DGAF

        Not surprised.

  • TJ Barke

    Go fuck yourself, Pai, you fucking weaselly corporate tool. Fuck every republican everywhere, you’re all stupid tools or reprehensible trash or both. Your bullshit conceptions of freedumb are the reason our country is a fucking joke.

    • greyXstar

      I don’t remember them being this craven even during the W years. Did I just block out the memory or what?

      • TJ Barke

        No, they’ve gotten worse.

        • Courser_Resistance

          This ^^ The Bush years were awful but nothing like this.

          • BreakingDeadMen

            They were content to try and run the government like a business. The current version is about maximizing shareholder value, and our stake is not recognized.

  • Angry Red Bird DGAF

    I don’t understand what the endgame is in killing net neutrality. Aren’t people switching to wireless which gets around fiber? Or is this an attempt at squeezing money out of a dying technology?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      it all has to go through the backbones at some point and that is where the throttling will occur

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Exactly. The last mile is out of their grasp, so they’re going to throttle the backbones to squeeze more revenue out of them.

      • Angry Red Bird DGAF

        That’s depressing.

    • Tommy Beard

      Without net neutrality, your ISP could block an app or website simply because it competes with one of their own or a partner’s. They could also “tier” the internet like a cable package. Want social media? That’s only an additional $10/month. Video? Watch it through our page or buy a Youtube+20 other sites access package. Got your own podcast? Pony up, just like the big boys.

      • Angry Red Bird DGAF

        Yeah. I understand now. What’s weird is that I thought he was recommended by a certain Book of Faces board member. So, I guess they must think that people love FB so much they will pay any price to continue access. Or is it the plan to have the large telecoms give them preferential treatment? And then one also has to wonder how other businesses that rely on fast internet access will respond to having to pay for access. Are banks going to absorb the cost of on-line payments? Is Paypal going to increase their fees because people don’t want to pay for the convenience? The only part of the population that is completely dependent on the internet is the under 25 crowd who don’t know anything else. I’m not sure that the older people who have to budget will bother to pay for something they lived without for half of their lives. I’m sure I’m missing something on this but I think they are being very shortsighted.

        • Tommy Beard

          I think the ISPs only think of the services or partnerships they could create to “replace” all those things you bring up. FB has deep enough pockets to form partnerships to stymie competitors. Plus the same companies that own most of the ISPs also own most of the content producers to use as leverage, choosing an ISP will be like choosing between satellite companies, which one has the most of your favorite channels (content) and what comes as part of their base package. There would likely be packages that cater to that under 25 crowd, and those for older, and to please the whole family you could get back up to that $200/month cable bill equivalence.

          • Angry Red Bird DGAF

            Well if that happens I will no longer be a Wonkette non-commenter. Maybe I can email my comments to the Editrix with my work email like I did back in the 1990’s when companies only had one computer that had access to the internet. I’m really looking forward to the great future that Donnie is creating for us. So much winning.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    OT- FFS I’m getting sick of reading stories like this. Good thing Pai is going to slow the internet to a crawl so I won’t be able to…

    http://www.theroot.com/black-teenager-mistaken-for-larger-bald-black-man-says-1796840022

    • Angry Red Bird DGAF

      Really. I guess they need vision tests for police now.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        and maybe strength conditioning for the cop who claims a tiny little 115lb girl pulled some MMA maneuver on him

        • Angry Red Bird DGAF

          Nah. That’s covered by the inherent racism of the police force. I’ve heard enough ridiculous comments about black women looking like men to assume this was an accident.

  • Sorry to be a bit Anne Marie Morris MP (use yer google) but from the rest of the world who loves you … a) how can we help b) can we apply it selectively c) I need a chicken recipe for my partner for friday with only 200g of dodgy breast and lots of chilli. and bulgar.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Please tell your Non-American friends that we’re all not horrifying people.
      Commiserate with us.
      Sorry, I’m not even sure what Bulgar is. But anything slightly dodgy, marinate the fuck out of it with Italian dressing or spices and oil.

      • efoveks

        Bulgur is what you use to make tabouleh. It is super high in fiber and quite delicious. I use it as a rice or sometimes pasta substitute, in addition to cous cows and tabouleh makins.

        • Courser_Resistance

          Oh cool! Then marinate your dodgy breast in some seasonings & oil and use similar seasonings in your bulgur. Serve chicken breast over warm seasoned Bulgur. Add the bottle of wine your partner brings!

          • I knew I could rely on Wonk even with my vowel blind spot. to the market i go..

          • Courser_Resistance

            Yay! I love it when a plan comes together!

      • TundraGrifter

        Whitey Bulgar?

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        Bulgar is wheat berries and is delish!!

    • VirginiaWackelpudding

      Get thee an eggplant, onion, and garlic. Chop, saute, add to chopped chicken bossom in a greased baking dish. Mix with chili powder and salt to taste. Bake at 350 for 1/2 hour. Serve over cooked bulgar.

  • II Gosala

    Net neutrality? Pfft! Everyone knows both sides do it.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Both 1’s and 0s!

      • II Gosala

        Binary is so 20th century. We’re all into digital fluidity now.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Insert “Down with the excluded middle!” Intuitionist logic joke here.

          • II Gosala

            Not to be pedantic (OK it’s incredibly pedantic) certain Indian logical systems have multiple truth values. My favorite has five:

            True
            False
            Both true and false
            Neither true nor false
            Irrelevant

            My understanding is that the Jain system is even more elaborate.

  • PubOption

    Net neutrality is just Pai in the sky.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      More Pai on the sly, or Pai in the sty, I think.

      • phoenix00

        Pai on the Lie!

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I didn’t understand much of this post, so I’ll only comment on the part I understood. Republicans are evil. Also vile.
    Also, baby molerats pop into my head whenever I see a picture of that Pai guy. Dunno why.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I can’t make a dick joke out of this.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Basically, ISPs want to charge websites for not giving their users’ a narrow urethra.

      • (((Aron)))

        I tell you ‘hwut.

    • phoenix00

      Pai wants to restrict what kind of gloryholes and bungholes your phallus may penetrate. And assuming mating can be achieved, your pleasure may be, uhh, choked.

      How’d I do?

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    I didn’t really understand any of this because I am an old. On the upside, because I am an old, I trust my news sources (Wonkette) so I did the easy mode and am considering attempting the hard one this evening.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      You can easily understand the basics. I am a fellow old and I can twist my doddering mind around it. You know how slow the internet used to be? And over the years it got faster and faster? Remember how it would take 30 seconds or more for an image to download, and now it’s almost instantaneous?

      Hhuge corporations want to control the SPEED–so that the things they WANT you to see will download fast, but the things they don’t want you to see will download slowly.

      So, for example, amazon.com would be super fast, but the mom-and-pop shop you prefer to use would be saddled with a much slower internet speed, so it would be harder to shop there. The page would take forever to open, each individual image would take impossibly long, it would be slow and inconvenient to place an order.

      Especially with ultra-conservative media barons buying up TV and radio, and controlling the content, you can see how this easily extends to political control: right-wing websites being fast and easy to use, and, sites like Wonkette or MSNBC or Planned Parenthood being saddled with very slow, balky speeds, or so it takes really long to open the page, or read the comments, or post a comment. It leads ultimately to certain sites being effectively blocked, like in China or Russia.

      When they speak of net “neutrality” the neutrality they refer to is the “speed” and the “access.” It shouldn’t favor the huge corporations and the ultra-conservative media owners, but it should be NEUTRAL, we should ALL have the same access and speed.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Thanks for using small words! I get it now, mostly. I think I’m handicapped by having lived in Nashville shortly after Google fiber was offered. Talk about fast. Am I wrong about that? That Google fiber was the best?

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          Now it’s MY turn to have no idea what you’re talking about haha! These newfangled kids with their newfangled fibers, why I remember when there was ONE phone and you couldn’t use it if Daddy was expecting an important call.

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          Google fiber keeps you regular.

  • Beowoof14

    Made my call, signed every petition I can find on the issue. However, these scumbags are determined to screw us over for the benefit of their corporate masters. I am not optimistic net neutrality can be preserved.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    We need a SCOTUS case on this, stat. oh, wait, Gorsuch.
    .
    .
    .
    .
    fuck

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    I can’t wait for all the Fox fans in my local Ham Radio club to foxsplain this one

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Then you can sign off with “73. No, seriously, guys… That’s your average IQ.”

    • (((Aron)))

      Oh jeez. Trumpy Hams? That’s gotta be tough…

      • JustDon’tSaySortMyBalls

        “Trumpy Hams, the new diet snack when you’re trying to reach your alt. weight.”

        • (((Aron)))

          I kinda want some diet ham now…

      • (((fka_donnie_d)))

        Well, to be fair I ain’t heard much out of them since the election. But one of them is president, and another is one of the senior techs. At the monthly meeting, Senior Tech Boy (who has, let’s just say, a reputation for agitating excrement) decides to bring up 2 or 3 major issues _15 minutes_ before the end of the meeting, when everybody wants to go home and oh btw we’re getting kicked out of the space whether we want to leave or not. And, not in any structured manner whatsoever, either.

        It strikes me that people with any amount of critical analysis (like, senior electroncs techs, for example) might be reasonably expected to reach the conclusion that if your political philosophy says that solving problems in large groups is a bad idea, perhaps you should avoid participating in such endeavors.

        • (((Aron)))

          Heeheehee!

    • Steve Cole

      I thought most hams were Fox fans. I got my novice in 1968 (yes, really) and most hams were old white guys (OWG) then. 50 years later we are still OWG, and I think the pool is shrinking.

      • (((fka_donnie_d)))

        Yea I should stfu at this point before I say something identifiable.

  • Oh, net neutrality is just a load of —

    Wait. MY KAIJU FETISH PORN IS THREATENED?!??!!!?!!1/1 THIS CANNOT STAND!11!!

    • h4rr4r

      Pacific RimJob
      Plowing Cloverfield
      Zarkorr! The Anal Invader
      Gamera V Vajayjay

      • (((Aron)))

        BAHAHAHAHA

      • SeeTrain65

        Yu-Gi-Oh-God-Oh-God-Oh-God-Yes!

  • Ricky Gay

    Fyi, It’s pronounced “A shitpie”

  • Ricky Gay

    I contacted him at his government email address. I was concise and pleasant. Therefore it won’t make for snarky reading on video and will be safely ignored.

  • mancityRed6

    *looks at all the legally obtained dvds that haven’t been watched yet*
    consider me a “prepper”

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    Funny thing about moving to a city. My internet will suck!

    • In Chicago it’s basically Comcast or Go Fuck Yourself.

      • NotDarkYet

        In my town, it’s Comcast or Comcast if you want internet that isn’t like reading the newspaper through a straw.

        So, yesterday, I get my Comcast bill; it’s over $60 more than last month’s bill. I have a “bundled” service: t.v., phone, and “blast” internet (yeah, about that blast …). Anyhow, I checked and, no, I didn’t make a shit-ton of calls to some sex-line or to my aunt in South Africa. It’s just that my “promotion” expired.

        So, I take a couple of swigs of liquid courage and call Comcast’s customer service and, very politely, tell the nice young gentleman in India that, no, I can’t pay nearly $220 a month for the services, and that, yes, I would like to get a promotion like my friend who bought a house across the street and is now paying about $120 for the exact same services I get. Except he’s a first-timer.

        After about 45 minutes of haggling and saying, no, I am NOT willing to pay a dime over $150, we finally came up with a new promotion that gets me to about $149 a month. At least that’s what I think the new price is. And in six month, I get to do this Comcast dance again.

        I remember when we were told all this de-regulation would save the customer a lot of money. Back then, I paid about $90 for services , but every year since, prices have gone up (in the meantime, my salary did NOT double), and some of the horror stories I experienced with Comcast would make a very creative fiction writer blush…

      • here up nort in the wilds of ravenswood it’s at&t and go fuck yourself.

  • TundraGrifter

    Ajit or Ejit – you decide.

    • h4rr4r

      Idjit.

  • GUYS! STOP RIGHT HERE!

    You probably didn’t spend an entire month reading about fiber infrastructure, reading how Ajit Pai uses literally double-speak, or how in 2014 he wrote a series of op-eds denouncing the Fairness Doctrine in response to several studies that wanted to study how information goes viral (the latter led to Trump’s twitter trolls/bots).

    BUT HERE’S THE THING!

    I peppered a lot of this article with my research. But if you REALLY want to find out about this stuff, you should check out Susan Crawford. She’s a genius! Listen to the podcast linked above, read her book, or just read her articles in Wired. Nobody knows about the intersection of fiber infrastructure and net neutrality like she does. It’s kind of boring policy stuff, but it’s REALLY fascinating about how cities and town have been screwed out of their own infrastructure upgrade projects by large companies who view any form of competition as a threat.

    I’m not trying to exaggerate when I say that this may actually be one of the most important things going on in government right now because it affects the spread of information. Comcast and Verizon own the vast majority of telecom lines, and now they own media outlets. GE owning NBC Universal was bad, but this is even worse. We call them conglomerates, but there really isn’t anything that can be compared to the power that these companies have wield.

    https://www.amazon.com/Captive-Audience-Susan-P-Crawford-ebook/dp/B00AMYGFXK/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

  • TootsStansbury

    So it’s not us against the machines, it`s us against the corporations.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      The corporations own the machines, so same-same.

    • Regret

      Machines are just tools.

      The two biggest powers in society are corporations and governments.
      As long as government is busy keeping corporations small, and corporations are busy trying to fight back the rest of us can have nice lives.
      Whenever they work together everyone is fucked.

      Example: VOC is the first corporation and made slavery popular.
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dutch_East_India_Company

      Wonkette is full of smart people that will think of more examples.

  • Honestly, fuck that guy with a giant coffee cup. Skip the votes, literally ram that up his ass.

  • (((Aron)))

    THE INTERNET IS NOT A BIG TRUCK.

    THE INTERNET IS A SERIES OF TUBES.

    EVERYONE KNOWS THAT.

  • goonemeritus

    How will this effect my bunkers shortwave reception?

  • Mystery_Poster

    Anyone else having trouble with the Go FCC Yourself linky?
    Is it one that they’ve throttled already?

  • Le Chapeau

    That guy is the proud possessor of a spectacular ass mouth.

    • Wee Mousie

      At first I thought someone had painted a clown face on a bowling ball.

      I’d still like to examine it for three holes.

  • commatoes

    Another example of Trump choose the people he deems the bestest. Also, another example of conservatives SUCKING at comedy.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Feckin Aryans.

    • (((Aron)))

      Accurate!

      • Regret

        Also, too Racist!

        • (((Aron)))

          Not necessarily. The Aryans WERE from India ;)

  • Ajit, you idjit, no matter how you screw the poorz, you will STILL not be accepted by them.
    Just thought you should know that.

  • gallbladder

    When I was in high school, we’d call guys like this a “cunty bastard.”

    • …can we use that out of HS? Cause I sort of want to call him a cuntless bastard

      • gallbladder

        Abso-fuckin-lutely: Its applicability never expires.

  • Wee Mousie

    Someone call John Oliver, it’s time to shut down the FCC website again.

  • phoenix00

    *I* confuse Gandalf with Dumbledore ALL THE TIME! Should I hand back by nerd card?

    • Steve Cole

      Good question. I have taught undergraduate level computer science and I don’t give a hoot about Star Wars/Trek. Sigma six outlier I guess.

      • phoenix00

        It doesn’t have to be interest in scifi that makes you a geek/nerd. As far as I know any higher-than-“normal” interest and/or knowledge in something esoteric qualifies.

        • Regret

          Star wars is not scifi, it is a fairy tale, i.e. fantasy.
          Star trek, while scifi, is pulp-scifi. Still fun, but not any more intellectual than Conan the barbarian comics.
          You can find deeper explorations of interesting concepts in Schwarzenegger movies.

          Example: Total Recall discusses The Lockean Memory theory of mind.
          http://www.inquiriesjournal.com/articles/275/the-lockean-memory-theory-of-personal-identity-definition-objection-response
          In my opinion the remake is less philosophical and thus less interesting. Good fight scenes though.

          • phoenix00

            Interesting hairs to split, and certainly worth further spitballing on, but I’m sure for most of us consider both scifi in the “conventional” sense.

            You’re not wrong on all counts though.

  • Poly_Ester

    Did Pai “attend” Trump U?

  • Ninja0980

    Not going to happen asshole.

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    For some reason (perhaps because I once had a family member who spent three months in jail) the prison phone call thing particularly gets to me.

    It’s just so dang mean.

    What an ugly, cruel, stupid, atrocious thing to do. What a way to humiliate and isolate the prisoner: what a way to punish innocent family members who have actually committed no crime themselves, who merely want to stay in touch with–and who may be the last remaining lifeline for– somebody they love who happened to get into bad trouble.

    We ourselves didn’t have any trouble scraping together the money we needed to pay for the calls (which came collect, as a recorded message announced when we picked up the phone, and which were of course monitored, recorded, infrequent, and subject to abrupt and arbitrary termination).

    But a whole lot of people–especially the kind of people whose family members don’t have the jack buy their way out of a charge of simple possession, say, or the crime of driving without insurance, or a back child support complaint–cannot afford to stay in contact.

    It’s dehumanizing and stupid and ugly. But then, our whole justice system is fucked–the whole shootin’ match is based on cruelty and humiliation and punishment, rather than any concept of rehabilitation, of salvation, of repairing broken human beings.

    The patron saint of American retribution is Sheriff Arpaio. We would rather destroy a human being–and we are right smug about the fact (“if you don’t want to do the time, then don’t do the crime” is right up there with the other jingle of unhinged rhyming hate, “It’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve”)– than help a citizen move on and reclaim his or her life.

    In some countries, Norway for instance, jail is someplace where, although your freedom of movement is restricted, you eat decent food, experience a reasonably comfortable environment, enjoy access to therapy sessions, higher education, and vocational training. It is a place where guards do not supplement their meager incomes by setting up black markets or prison rape squads.

    Moreover, when prisoners in civilized countries finish their sentences and return to the world, they don’t have to notify prospective employers that they once served time.They don’t lose their civil rights: they don’t bear a permanent stigma that marks them for life and that increases the odds of recidivism to the screaming point.

    In American jails and prisons, by the way, speaking of screaming, the death toll due to the kind of horrendous beating that shattered Otto Warmbier’s brain over in the godless communistic totalitarian state of North Korea is nearly 5000 a year. Sometimes fellow prisoners do it (and sometimes they do it with the active collaboration of guards); sometimes the guards themselves finish the job, without any help from the inmates.

    God help us, what an awful country.

    • amrak63

      And of course, the reason it’s evil and stupid and ugly is because a majority, or at least a sufficient number, of our fellow citizens think that is exactly the way it should be.

      So it comes back to the same central issue as all of our country’s other problems:

      How do we enlighten the dumbasses, and can it be done at all?

  • Donna Schoenkopf

    GREAT STORY!!!! SENT A LETTER AND MADE A CALL. YOU MADE IT EASY. THANK YOU!! MORE OF THIS ON WONKETTE, PLEASE.

  • Donna Schoenkopf

    P.S. I’ve been a supporter of prison reform since Angela Davis was first on the scene. Great piece.

  • The Librarian

    Life of Pai: reading mean tweets that he actually deserves.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Our college used to charge us higher than average rates to call outside of campus (this was 1995, before cell phones were everywhere). It wasn’t unusual to make a few calls home in a month and receive a $300 phone bill. At that time, I thought that was a severely dickish thing to do, especially to students on scholarships and financial aid.

    But prisons? What the fuck, man?

  • persistently_resistant_gayby

    As an Indian – I honestly don’t know how an evil IT guy came into existence.

    Therefore, we are very sorry – and we hope you can return this model back to Bangalore.

    Thx.

  • Relativicus

    Plus, that face.

  • Incoming Ham

    Not to get all conspiracy theory-ish but could be a way of limiting information going to certain economic classes of people. If they can’t afford it, they can’t see it. As a company you can basically control the flow of information.

  • DaveM

    I’m just going to go full asshole here. One probably should not go full asshole but this guy sucks so bad I believe it is needed. Pai is US born of immigrant parents I would think and he is stupid enough to be a fucking Republican? I am sorry to say this is one immigrant son that has failed the American people. He has failed badly. He has given or is trying to give the internet to unscrupulous companies that will exploit it. Just another fucking Republican. His parents should be ashamed. This country is better than the modern Republican party. So one must ask just how does Trump’s dick taste? Answer that Ajit Pai. Fucking dirtbag.

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