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Good Whiskey Wednesday, Wonketariat! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today.

After closing a 20 point gap, Jon Ossoff lost the special election to Karen Handel, and now Republicans are running around screaming about the death of progressive politics, but at least we can kick Karen Handel for the next year and a half.

Robert Mueller’s team is picking up all sort of interesting folks for its justice league of extraordinary investigators. [MORNING MADDOW!]

Even though EVERYONE knew Mike Flynn was crooked and compromised as early as January, CIA Director Mike Pompeo continued to give Flynn classified material because reasons.

Jeff Sessions has lawyered up, just because, you know? He’s not at all worried, he…uh…just wants everyone to know he has a good lawyer. Yep. Nothing weird about that

Mitch McConnell is rushing like a turtle out of hell to ram through TrumpCare, but he is promising to release a “draft” version of super secret zombie TrumpCare tomorrow. SURE he will…

A new Politico/Morning Consult poll finds 49 percent of people don’t like the “mean” TrumpCare/RyanCare/FuckThePoorsCare bill the House passed last month. I can’t imagine why.

A number of Republican senators are pissed that nobody knows what’s in super secret zombie TrumpCare bill, but WALNUTZ John McCain thinks we should just ask Russia what’s in the Senate’s double-secret healthcare repeal bill.

The Senate Intel Committee will talk to the heads of the FBI and DHS, along with state election officials today about securing our electronic election systems now we know foreign governments can screw around with voter rolls, just like Republicans.

Hey remember when they told us the vote totals weren’t changed? Yeah, they never audited them.

Chuck Grassley wants to investigate Hillary Clinton’s murderous email sex servers (again!) because a conservative blog says she screwed up the handling of classified information. Maybe, if she’d given it to fucking Russians, it wouldn’t be a problem.

Trump’s pick to head day to day ops at the Pentagon was not well received by the Senate Armed Services Committee yesterday as a grumpy old John McCain yelled about his youth, and his ignorance to the hostilities in Ukraine (which is code for Russia).

Two psychologists contracted by the CIA to create the infamous torture program are saying that they initially had reservations about torturing enhanced interrogations techniques being used by the CIA, but they were told to grow a spine, and forced-fed bullshit about dirty bombs.

Trump wants to slash regulations on prescription drugs in order to lower prices, according to a leaked draft, instead of actually enacting real policy. SURPRISE!

Trump’s White House isn’t denying that it’s attempting to kill press briefings, and because answering questions is just so hard, he wants reporters to submit questions in writing.

Ajit Pai addressed the Senate Appropriations Committee on Financial Services and General Government to explain a 5.2% budget reduction even though Pai has made the FCC a miserable place to work, and is doing nothing to protect consumers.

Department of Veterans Affairs Accountability and Whistleblower Protection Act will see cuts and new rules that will not allow federal employees to appeal firings, suspensions and demotions to the Merit Systems Protection Board. THIS IS A BAD OMEN because it takes power away from workers and allows brass to just “You’re Fired” the employees who are, in the words of David Shulkin, “dead wood.”

Jeff Sessions has announced 12 cities that will receive more federal help to fight rising violence, except Chicago and Baltimore, the two cities with some of the most serious problems, aren’t on that list. Thanks, fucker.

As temperatures in Arizona reach 120 degrees Fahrenheit, forcing the flight delays and orders to stay indoors, inmates at Tent City, the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office outdoor jail, are still milling around in the heat in pink socks and sandals.

Trump once again embarrassed the United States during a state meeting with Ukrainian President Petro Poroshenko. It’s just “Ukraine,” it’s a country, not a thing, there’s no “the” in its name, and it just happens to occupied by the Russian military.

A European subsidiary of the The American Center for Law and Justice, the bible-thumping law firm headed by Trump’s shitty, sputtering lawyer Jay Sekulow, has been instrumental in Vladimir Putin’s anti-gay campaign according to the ACLJ’s tax filings.

Chris Christie doesn’t care that his poll numbers are in the shitter, but we do because we like making fun of Chris Christie at every opportunity.

Trump’s team is giving him more rallies to keep him from throwing temper tantrums on Twitter and making an ass out of himself because being surrounded by people who like him makes him happy.

The ulta arch conservative faux-news network that was going to give Bill O’Reilly a new show has pulled its offer after O’Reilly didn’t return their calls, and I’m not sure which is more pathetic.

Uber CEO Travis Kalanick has resigned because shareholders were PISSED about a wave of sexual harassment complaints, intellectual property theft, and its attempts to use software to avoid a law enforcement. And people think bicycles are bad?

Tomi Lahren is attempting to remain culturally relevant and interesting, telling a bunch of young people that it’s tough being a pretty face spewing bile when all your colleagues want to play grab-ass.

Trevor Noah had some serious thoughts about being a black guy in America in the wake of the Philando Castile verdict that didn’t air, but you should really watch it because it’s very earnest commentary.

And here’s your late night wrap-up! Seth Meyers squashed some beef with Will Ferrell; Stephen Colbert talked about replacing Sean Spicer; and The Daily Show wants to scare Democrats to the polls.

And here’s your morning Nice Time! ATTACK CATS!

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  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
  • Longstreet63

    Of course, when you cut regulations on pharmaceuticals, you don’t get cheap drugs. You get expensive drugs that don’t do anything.
    Just check the prices on homeopathic “medicines”.

    • ariel_gee_398

      But if the problem you’re trying to solve is insufficient upward wealth redistribution, deregulation is a fine solution.

    • nightmoth

      Or you get thalidomide.

  • Nounverb911
    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      It would be nice if they showed how to use it in a sentence.
      ” Bow down to my covfefe powered duende” ?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      http://www.wordreference.com/es/en/translation.asp?spen=duende
      duende nm (personaje de cuento) elf, imp, goblin n
      Los duendes y las hadas ayudaron al niño a sobrevivir en el bosque.

  • FlownΩver

    About those paywalled links…

    • Marion in Savannah

      Try right clicking on the link and selecting “open in private window.” That works most of the time.

    • Which ones?

  • Nounverb911
  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Mitch, so good at sharing those deets:
    https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/877259804405903360

    • From Russia with Love

      Box McTurtle.

  • PubOption

    So, Dems couldn’t turn the Handel back.

  • proudgrampa

    *sigh*

    Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking…

    • Vincent Ricola

      Wrong year :(

      • Ryan Denniston

        Wrong administration.

        • From Russia with Love

          Wrong drug.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Wrong lifetime.

    • Longstreet63

      If it’s any consolation, without the 17th Amendment, senators would be appointed by state legislatures and thus be equally subject to gerrymandering.
      It’s probably not much of a consolation…

    • Michael Smith

      Wrong dimension.

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      Wrong street, too.

  • Left Coast Tom
    • Left Coast Tom

      Skimmed the Bloomberg article, I need to write it to PDF and read it more closely. From the article:

      During the years that Bayrock and Trump did deals together, the
      company was also a bridge between murky European funding and a number of projects in the U.S. to which the president once leant his name in
      exchange for handsome fees. Icelandic banks that dealt with Bayrock, for
      example, were easy marks for money launderers and foreign influence,
      according to interviews with government investigators, legislators, and
      others in Reykjavik, Brussels, Paris and London. Trump testified under
      oath in a 2007 deposition that Bayrock brought Russian investors to his
      Trump Tower office to discuss deals in Moscow, and said he was pondering
      investing there.

      “It’s ridiculous that I wouldn’t be investing in
      Russia,” Trump said in that deposition. “Russia is one of the hottest
      places in the world for investment.”

      One of Bayrock’s principals was a career criminal named Felix
      Sater who had ties to Russian and American organized crime groups.
      Before linking up with the company and with Trump, he had worked as a
      mob informant for the U.S. government, fled to Moscow to avoid criminal
      charges while boasting of his KGB and Kremlin contacts there, and had
      gone to prison for slashing apart another man’s face with a broken
      cocktail glass.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        had gone to prison for slashing apart another man’s face with a broken cocktail glass.

        He seems nice.

        • Longstreet63

          Another cabinet post filled!

        • coozledad

          Any schmuck can shoot a person, but it really takes some apeshit to dig at someone with a shard of glass.

          Why are they outdoors?

        • Celtic_Gnome

          But did he finish the cocktail first? I will not abide with wasted alcohol.

      • cmd resistor

        Isn’t Sater one of those many guys about whom Trump says, I don’t know the guy?

  • Ryan Denniston

    “Two psychologists contracted by the CIA to create the infamous torture program are saying that they initially had reservations about torturing enhanced interrogations techniques being used by the CIA, but they were told to grow a spine, and forced-fed bullshit about dirty bombs”

    Too bad there isn’t some kind of oath that they have to take. You know, one about not hurting people they are sanctioned to save. Maybe we could make one for them. One that would apply not just to psychologists, but to all medical professionals. Also too auto repairmen.

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      I could be wrong (I often am!), but since psychologists aren’t MDs, I don’t think they have to take the Hippocratic Oath. That doesn’t mean they shouldn’t try not to be dicks, or have ethics or a spine, but still.

      • Ryan Denniston

        You’re right, some are medically licensed, some aren’t. Come to think of it, it’s not clear to me the difference between psychologists and psychiatrists either.

        • Cheesus Crust _ Rebel

          Psychologists are not MD’s, Psychiatrists are.

      • Spurning Beer

        I’m a retired psychologist. You’re right that psychologists don’t take the Hippocratic Oath. We do have a pretty righteous set of ethical standards that most states subscribe to as mandatory for licensees. The two turds who developed the torture program, as I recall, were kicked out of the APA and lost their licenses.

    • From Russia with Love

      Perhaps the Mr Goodwrench pledge? Or for Republican psychiatrists, perhaps the hypocritic oath?

  • Villago Delenda Est

    McCain doesn’t like the AHCA process, but he’ll vote for it anyway.

    Asshole.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
  • memzilla Ω
  • memzilla Ω
  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    Eat shit, Joe Scarborough. A 30-year-old documentary filmmaker with no political experience almost winning New Gingrich’s old seat does not mean the Democratic party is in the shitter.

    • Ryan Denniston

      The answer is always projection.

      • Longstreet63

        No, you’re projecting!

        • Ryan Denniston

          No projection. No projection. You’re the projection!

    • Ryan Denniston
    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      At least the Democratic party hasn’t been taken over by demented, incompetent grifters. The Republican party is so far in the shitter its clogging the septic system.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      “Mika? Joe needs another plateful.”

    • coozledad

      Also Matty Iglesias. I’m beginning to believe the only reason Sanders was able to gain as much traction as he did is because there are too many unresolved mommy issues on the left. Any fuck who doesn’t know women, and particularly black women, are the core of the Democratic party, is just a mouth breather, and you should never listen to them again. Fucking dumbfucks.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Not to mention that the goopers spent record amounts of money to defend a deep-red congressional seat. Pyrrhic victory for them.

  • memzilla Ω
  • canes_pugnaces

    There’s a decent chance that this swing to right in not a temporary phase. History teaches us hard-right pendulum swings go on for a decade, or more, and mostly end with right-wing leaders swinging from gallows (or balconies) and/or living their lives out in exile in Paris’ 4th, shopping and eating well.

    It’s the ‘until then’ that’s bothering me. I have, in that spirit, send $$ to the Wonkette for at least making me laugh.

    • Longstreet63

      General Franco begs to differ.

      • canes_pugnaces

        Very good point. My Ex’s family was wiped out by Franco, a few made it to the US. The rest were shot.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Is he still dead?

  • Left Coast Tom
  • beingreleased

    I’ve got to say, I’ve pretty much given up on the US. No matter how many people are hurt by what the Republicans are doing and how many people disagree with their policies, people will still vote for them, because, what are you gonna do? Vote Democrat? I think not.

    • Longstreet63

      A lot of people have been told for a long time that it matters no more who you vote for than who you bet on in a football game. They vote for the home team, or as my mother put it “My dad would have voted for Trump!”
      It literally means no more than a cultural affirmation.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Politics has become sport. It’s all about the Ws. As much as most Dems couldn’t vote for a Republican, most Republicans could never vote for a Democrat. In addition, there are actually very few independents in this country. Most vote reliably for one political party. Unfortunately, I believe a majority of indies lean R, they just don’t want people to know they’re affiliated that way.

    • Bebecca

      I am just about there with you. I was listening to discussions this morning about the Ossoff race. They said he didn’t malign Trump, he discussed women’s rights and climate change. And he still lost. What do we stand for if it’s not those types of issues? Is it really all about guns and blue collar economics? A very liberal friend of mine said she thinks we need to give up on guns and abortion rights. We’re republicans then.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        But if he’d only focused on the issues!! Oh…wait.

    • janecita

      I gave up already. We are a country of dumbasses. The Europeans saw the writing on the wall, with the election of Trump, and massively rejected their right wing candidates. Americans, on the other hand, have embraced this new facism with enthusiastic gusto. We are fucked!

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        From your lips to God’s ears. We are fucked.

        • janecita

          And not in the good way:-(

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Wait…there’s a good way?

          • Celtic_Gnome

            I know this one weird trick that makes getting fucked really fun.

    • They claim it’s Metro vs Retro.

      Why not rebrand Retro to be JFK Spaceage Modern Parkslope Housewife Pipe smoking/vaping Father with hat and tats?

      Fuck with them, big time.

    • Michael Smith

      I think we need to wait until the midterm elections to panic. We aren’t as powerless as the Republicans were in the early 1960’s, after nearly 35 years of progressive Democrat rule (Yes, 8 years of Eisenhower, but even then, conservatives saw him as a consensus-builder and not a real fighter for conservatism – thus the Goldwater movement).

      If we find that Democratic Party is stuck in a lurch like the Republicans in 1966, then perhaps we will need to pursue aggressive change in the manner that they did – though not the substance, I don’t think the Democrats can win by becoming the party of racism, since civil rights is one of our core values, and to out-racist Republicans, who are just really authentic in that area, would be impossible – but by figuring out an area where a large group of Republicans are majorly discontented and adopting a policy to please them. And promising positions of power within the party to leading Republicans in the group who will show their gratitude by convincing voters.

      Again, though, I’m not sure it will come to that, and I hope it won’t. You can only change so much before you become something completely different.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Jim Acosta of CNN just loses it after that creepily censored ‘press briefing’ where no audio or video was allowed. Spicer is “…useless” and daily the briefings are “…becoming more and more bizarre” and a sad “…new normal for the American people.”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIlKLgiibjM

    • Ryan Denniston

      And yet, yesterday or the day before, CNN’s web site had a breaking banner covering Trump tweets.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The NYT is doing its very best to make this the “new normal”, too.

  • Antonin Dvorak

    Woot, I can comment again! My long national nightmare is over!

    • Ryan Denniston

      Wrong place. Comments aren’t allowed here. Try the public hearing for the AHCA. I hear they’re accepting comments.

      • From Russia with Love

        Now that is fucking funny!

  • Anna E Killsright, Agent KELLY

    Did you all think this would be easy? This is a war, folks. Some battles will be lost. Shoulder your rifle, and form up again.

    You all know something of my life. You know what was worse than incest and the touching? The Same Shit, Different Day, Every Day with Mom & Dad and Sibs. Being told I was worthless and stupid everyday. Never having firm ground to stand on, having Goal posts moved every day. As a child, they broke me. I’d do anything to please anyone, just to relieve the pain a little.

    But that child is a Woman now. And the woman can fight. I don’t care that there are a 100 million just like Mom & Dad in this benighted nation. I survived them then, I’ll beat them now.

    Find some fucking Spirit, Y’alls. Find it quick.

    • Stulexington

      They had to throw so much into this just to squeak out a win in a “safe” district, imagine the uphill battle they face in 18.

      • Anna E Killsright, Agent KELLY

        Roger that, affirm. It’s easy to fight if it’s easy to win, a Warrior has to fight even when it seems she is sure to lose.

    • Christopher Story

      I like to reflect on the seige of Helm’s Deep. Or the slaying of Smaug.

      • Anna E Killsright, Agent KELLY

        Let this be the hour when we draw swords together. Fell deeds awake. Now for wrath, now for ruin, and the red dawn. Forth, Eorlingas!

        Theoden was an old Cavalryman, I understand guys like that.

        • Christopher Story

          Here’s a good one from Shakespear’s “Henry V” –
          Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more;
          Or close the wall up with our English dead.
          In peace there’s nothing so becomes a man
          As modest stillness and humility:
          But when the blast of war blows in our ears,
          Then imitate the action of the tiger;
          Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood,
          Disguise fair nature with hard-favour’d rage;
          Then lend the eye a terrible aspect

          • Anna E Killsright, Agent KELLY

            One of my favorites. :)

          • Christopher Story

            Cool! To be honest, I was reading Dante’s Devine Comedy when all the other kids were reading Shakespear. So I’m not all that well versed. Snippets here and there that I enjoyed and hung on to.

        • I watch and watch and watch 2 towers. Theoden’s poem and war speech (and Bernard Hill’s performance) never ever ever fail to make me cry.

          In fact, i think i need to watch that tonight.

          • Anna E Killsright, Agent KELLY

            Theoden is my favorite as well.

    • IdiokraticDrumpfenResistance

      “Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?”

      • Anna E Killsright, Agent KELLY

        We’re Americans, with a capital ‘A’, huh? You know what that means? Do ya? That means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world. We are the wretched refuse. We’re the underdog. We’re mutts! Here’s proof: his nose is cold! But there’s no animal that’s more faithful, that’s more loyal, more loveable than the mutt. Who saw “Old Yeller?” Who cried when Old Yeller got shot at the end?

      • Pilotshark

        Toga, Toga

        Lets Go!!!!

    • Ωbjectifier
  • BadKitty904

    Say, waddaya mean, “IF Cats Ruled the Word”?!?1?

  • Joe Beese

    The New York Times story is subtitled “A lawsuit filed on behalf of former prisoners reveals new details about a program that used techniques widely viewed as torture”.

    Universally viewed, except by The New York Times when reporting on Americans.

    • From Russia with Love

      Funny old thing that they teach you in SERE. If you think you are being tortured, you are.

  • Lizzietish81

    On the bright side Yellowstone may blow soon

    • Ryan Denniston

      THANKS OBAMA!

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      And it’s in a deep red state…

      • From Russia with Love

        It’s red, but it’s also unpopulated.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Unfortunately, if Yellowstone blows, there’s a good chance it’ll take a substantial part of North America with it.

    • BadKitty904

      That was THE coolest seen from that weird-ass 2012 flick…

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1Kbym7WYzs

      • Notreelyhelping

        We finally get the CBO report on the Senate’s bill!

        • BadKitty904

          Yup, pretty much.

    • chortlingdingo

      That would be especially tragic during this administration, which I’m sure has zero idea of how to respond to a natural disaster.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      But I am going there in a week.

      I’ll take a selfie if it does.

      • BadKitty904

        Keep your head down (see movie clip below).

    • Christopher Story

      Haha, all those immigrant haters suddenly turned into displaced migrants. That would be a great shadenfreud.

  • La forza del resistino

    my expert advice to state/county election officials is to change their server’s passwords from ‘admin’

    • From Russia with Love

      Pa$$Word.

  • Ωbjectifier
  • Carpe Vagenda

    Chris Christie doesn’t care that his poll numbers are in the shitter, but we do because we like making fun of Chris Christie at every opportunity.

    Money Christie quote: ““The poll that matters is when people actually go in and vote.”

    Christie spent two years ignoring his state to run for POTUS. He won .2% of the Republican popular vote.

  • Maclare🍩

    One of the few perks of being a freelancer – besides not being burdened with too much money- is I can choose how to spend my work day.

    And I’ve decided today I will NOT go into Roswell, as it’s rather a silly place, and full of Handel lawn signs.

    Instead I will drink coffee. ☕

    • Crank Tango

      I’m going to clean my garage before it turns 100 out again.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Mitch McConnell is rushing like a turtle out of hell to ram through TrumpCare

    He’s trying to ram it down our throats! Slowly.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • memzilla Ω

    Anyone else notice that now that That Black Man Is Out Of The White House, how Rethuglicans are using the Dick Cheney phrase “unitary executive”:again? Also. can someone remind me again of how many lawyers Obama’s staffers had to hire for themselves in advance of three or seven Federal investigations for corruption?

  • Oblios_Cap

    Trump once again embarrassed the United States during a state meeting with Ukrainian President

    Next up – getting us kicked out of South Korea.

    • Ryan Denniston

      It’s so weird that Trump wouldn’t say the quiet parts out loud right? I mean, they call it “The Ukraine” because it belongs to Russia right?

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      I have dated a Ukranian for a while and let me assure you referring to Ukraine as The Ukraine is comparable to calling a POC the N word or Dutchmen Germans for that matter.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Worse than calling a Scot an Englishman!

      • From Russia with Love

        You OK with The Netherlands?

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          That’s the only correct name. Although Orange Country is acceptable.

          • From Russia with Love

            The good people of The Gambia salute you!

  • Alexander Stallwitz
    • From Russia with Love

      It would have to be compelling before I would give a shit.

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        Its a topic that I intrests me because its a bizarre paradox to me that a group of people claim to be Godly and Holy voted for a man whos been divorced three times and bragged about grabbing women by the pussy. And yet 85 percent of them voted for Trump, more than Romney I might add. I admit its a person interest of mine and might not be to be anyone else.

        • Shanzgood 16 Days

          Because their Dominionism is more important than the tenets of their actual religion. They want people in office who will enact their racist, sexist, anti-LGBTQIA policies. There’s a whole pipeline they’ve been building for years to channel them into power.

          • Alexander Stallwitz

            Pretty much, thats what i believe that they care more about power than anything else. Nothing else matters not even the God they claim to worship.

          • Shanzgood 16 Days

            Also why they hate Muslims so much. They think all Muslims want to enact Sharia law but Dominionists are already way ahead of them in the US.

          • Alexander Stallwitz

            I always tell people they hate the competion more than anything

        • From Russia with Love

          Just pulling your leg, but people being stupid in the voting booth is the only thing that has kept the Republican party afloat for decades.

    • Hollandaise

      Have you ever checked out Christopher Stroop (https://chrisstroop.com/ and @C_Stroop on twitter)? He talks about this a lot.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    A common Wonkgenda theme these days, in various stories, seems to involve John McCain being addled, confused, out of touch, and embarrassing. Yep folks, this is the Republican we’re hoping is going to stand up to Trump.

    • BadKitty904

      I’m not. I’ve never known McCain to stand up to anything unless it somehow benefited McCain.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Nor I. But it’s amazing how many people haven’t caught on to his shtick.

        • BadKitty904

          “Maverick” in the sense of being a preening, self-serving hack.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            He’s a maverick until the last Sunday morning talk show wraps up.

      • Something yesterday reminded me of the Keating 5. I always forget mr maverick tortured war hero also has THAT on his resume.

        • BadKitty904

          I was raised to look at actions, not words. Walnutz talks a tuff game, but has rarely ever done jack. Just another GOP shill…

    • Ωbjectifier

      Goldwater he ain’t.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Well, they both fantasized about incinerating the planet.

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      Not much hope here after he shushed Harris. He IS acting addled, yelling at dems to stay off his many lawns, the number of which are unkown to him.

  • OddMan

    Hot enough for you? Be glad you don’t live right outside of Bullhead City in Fort Mohave, AZ.
    For the next week, highs above 120 F and lows of 90F for the next week or so.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6b95ce654e9dbbf8e3eec056799c0aebf1ef2467e3b728737060375f96bacb19.png

    Coolest part of the day.

    • OutOfOrbit

      My greatest fear for that part of the country right now is a power failure.

      • Bec Jenn

        I know at least in Phoenix, they beefed up power grids and such after the 1990 heat wave. Now if snow/ice were to hit, we’d be toast and the city would shut down.

        • OutOfOrbit

          I have heard [tales] of one squirl shutting down part of a city. Even “one part” of a city would be catastrophic, numbers-wise.

      • OddMan

        For the Electricity usage in California try
        http://www.caiso.com/Pages/TodaysOutlook.aspx

        We are generating almost 1/4 of California’s Electricity with solar right now.

        • OutOfOrbit

          I am still worried, can’t help it when temp’s get that high.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Trading heat/gig horror stories with some friends last night. One guy played a country gig at Lake Havasu-near Fort Mohave-when it was 127. He said the wax potting around the coils in his Telecaster pickups melted and ran down the front of the guitar.

      • Ωbjectifier

        Tone!

    • Bill D. Burger

      We’re through Bullhead City AZ/Laughlin NV a couple of time a year. It can be a challenge. 2013 we stayed at the Gold Nugget and that night it cooled to a chilly 93° after a 122° day.
      (*We do love to hike in Death Valley also / too…but only between Oct and Feb.
      ;)

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6396f4d0e62d9f0dff7dcf4fff0ca406c868f0ae52dce02a99b1b21c5ab18085.jpg

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Again – when Senator McCain actually does something to slow down Donnie Two Scoops instead of harrumphing and muttering like the old fart in the corner booth, then I will care. Maybe.

  • BadKitty904

    About last night…

    Disappointing, but not surprising. Our current national nightmare didn’t happen overnight and it isn’t going to be fixed overnight. But every minute counts, so, up and at ’em, patriots!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/56816d2cfebb2c3feb595df8f9066feba32b9b7afd76c766b00ba3ea4a8f38fe.jpg

    • Bill D. Burger
    • tomamitai

      Does the quarterback of the Sunshine Patriots throw deflated beach balls?

    • I really really really need encouragement this AM. I was shrieking (out the open window) last night about amerca can go fuck itself.

      Which technically it already has.

      • BadKitty904

        It has, but that doesn’t have to be a permanent thing. We the People can fix that – the last election shows that we clearly outnumber them and their numbers are dying off each day due to old age. The GOP wants to return to a mythical “1950s America” and, in reality, that’s just never going to happen.

        But we’re still going to have to work, work hard, and work now to fix this. As my brother has pointed out: “It took Granddad four years to beat the Nazis the last time they threatened America and it’s going to take us some time, too.

        For now, everyone of us, every minute of every day, must resist, resist, resist the current GOP Junta in every way and at every opportunity we can.

        This is OUR America, too.

        • AnniNoone

          I love what your brother said. Thanks.

          • BadKitty904

            He’s crazy, but he can be pretty pithy. :0)

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    There should be no handwringing over this result. Ossoff was always a long shot, the Republican vote is too entrenched down there for him to ever have had much of a chance. Any Republican in that district is starting with a base of well over 40%, which means Ossoff had to get about 3/4 of the independent vote to win. To look at it another way – if the positions were reversed, and a Republican with no political experience had nearly flipped a district that usually went Democratic by 20% margins, would anyone think that was a cause for celebration?

    • Marceline

      Ossoff had a great message and a fierce ground game. There were some issues with his residency but I hope he runs again in 2018.

      • BadKitty904

        To me, that was the biggest disappointment. Ossoff really does sound like he’d be a good legislator.

        Amen, in re: 2018 – I’m sure he’ll have plenty of Handel-ammo by then…

  • The Wanderer

    “It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion, It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed. The hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.”

    • BadKitty904

      That is brilliant.

    • Anna E Killsright, Agent KELLY

      The counter acquires stains, the stains become a warning also too.

  • Rick Hill

    Is someone going to capture this wonderful moment in history? Will all of the WH defense lawyers take a group photo in the Rose garden?

    • Ωbjectifier

      Gonna need a wider lens.

    • Christopher Story

      They do group mugshots now?

  • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

    Jon Ossoff lost by less than 10,000 votes. Still a loss but quite encouraging if you look at it in context.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Srsly. This is the seat Tom Price took over from Newt Gingrich. These folks have been fattening at the Republican teat for thirty years.

    • Bill D. Burger

      And the GOPers, never letting a tragedy go to waste, gloried in the Scalise shooting: “This is going to put us over the top.” “I think this will win it for us.” “This is definitely a plus for this race.”

      Wonder just how many votes they got because of it? It certainly “excited” their odious base.

      • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

        We all know that. We all know there are a lot of scared Fundagelicals who love to feel under siege and shit their pants for any excuse. The good news is that most of them won’t be around in 2020 because, yes, they’re old, most probably have chronic conditions and they’re gonna die soon.

        Now, going back to the discussion we were having about Millennials last night, I have to say we can’t afford to dismiss them. They and those younger than them are the future and we need to make sure they don’t turn into Republicans. The good news is that the Republican Party has nothing to offer them. If anything, they’ll be taking shit from them and we need to make sure we’re there to let them know we’re on their side. I still get annoyed by them sometimes (I asked the purity troll to define Democratic Socialism for me and to provide examples; crickets so far,) but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t engage them and have meaningful conversations with them.

        • Shanzgood 16 Days

          Right. The millennials are our CHILDREN, for dog’s sake. If we can’t get them interested in their own futures, what’s the point?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            The millennial I call “son” wouldn’t vote Republican if he had a gun to his head.

          • Shanzgood 16 Days

            Same. But I still had to to order my son’s mail in ballot FOR him in November and drag him out by the ear to get him to vote in person in our special election, though. No mean feat considering how big he is.

          • divegrl

            In the future, you can print the advanced mail in voting ballot application from the county election website. Mail that in and they will send you a mail in ballot.

          • Shanzgood 16 Days

            I know. I usually fax my request but I didn’t have access to a fax or working printer last time and I kind of wanted to vote in person.

          • cmd resistor

            I have a millennial kid. But he’s no republican. And, tho he voted for Bernie in the primary he certainly voted for Hillary in the general.

        • Marceline

          Young voters are notoriously unreliable. Always have been.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Republicans would sooner vote a disgraced loser like Mark Sanford back in office then vote for a Democrat.

      • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

        True dat. Joy Reed said it best.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        It’s all about their love of nature and the Appalachian Trail.

        • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

          Well, that Argentine girl is quite a looker too.

      • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

        They voted Nathan Deal in as Governor of GA again, so, yeah.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I wonder how many Bernouts stayed home, unable to bring themselves to vote for a neoliberal corporatist shill.

      • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

        Probably quite a few. When I was young I too was a purist about a lot of shit. Life taught me that looking for perfection is in many cases futile. We need to have these conversations with them and help them realize idealism is nice and all but practicality is what gets shit done.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Best bring a sock filled with ball bearings-and votes-to that conversation.

        • From Russia with Love

          Perfect is the enemy of good enough.

      • chicken thief

        I stayed home yesterday. I mean, I wanted to vote, but then it was raining – like REALLY HARD at times and it totally ruins my hair.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        And this morning they’re all crawling out from under their rocks to blame Hillary.

      • Marceline

        At this point I doubt it matters. Every candidate Bernie endorses loses because he drives away as many potential voters as he attracts.

        • Shanzgood 16 Days

          His supporters don’t help him much, either, sometimes. They put me right off him in the primaries before I hardly knew anything about him.

          • Marceline

            Yeah, since losing the primaries Bernie’s base hasn’t gotten any larger and even people I know who voted for him in the primary are sick of him. The Berniacs are reduced to looking at our losses as their victories because they have none of their own.

    • janecita

      Don’t be so optimistic, it’s a terrible loss. That woman said that she didn’t “believe in a living wage,” and still won. What does that say about the American electorate? To me it says that we are not winning crap on 2018.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        This. It’s not just the the R won. It’s that Handel is a terrible person and yet she still won.

        • AnniNoone

          She is in the South, where whites have been brainwashed for decades to also be (politically) terrible. This is still an astonishingly positive result, considering.

      • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

        Look at it in context. I used to live in one of the bluest parts of that district (Johnson Ferry Rd. area in Dekalb County) and we were a tiny island in a sea of red. Looking at the map I’m encouraged to see that the blue spots have grown beyond I could have ever imagined. To them “living wage” means money for all those dirty tattooed hipsters and the blacks. There are still a lot of people who think like that in the district but there’s fewer of them than there were just 20 years ago.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Hey, at least she didn’t use a private email server or run a foundation that successfully helps the poorest of the poor around the globe.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I keep hoping Republicans will actually enact some of their horrible ideas, and the idiots who vote for them will suffer. For example – I have a neighbor who lives on SS and a state pension, gets his health care through Medicare, and owns a mobile home park, where he receives section 8 housing vouchers. His wife is due to collect a federal pension (which Republicans want to slash).He’s completely opposed to government spending and “socialism.” I’d like to see Republicans actually pass legislation that allows him to live his dream of no “wealth redistribution.”

        • cmd resistor

          It will still be Obama’s fault.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            As stupid as Trump’s supporters are, at this point I think he’ll own whatever nightmare health care plan the GOP manages to pass. They keep saying “Obamacare is collapsing” but I think even the idiots will notice it didn’t start to “collapse” until Trump took office. I also think if you’re due for a federal pension, and the GOP cuts it, you’re going to notice who was in charge when you found out you’d be getting a lot less than you expected.

          • cmd resistor

            Hope so.

        • Jamoche

          RWNJ stepdad thought Trumpie would increase federal pensions. He and my mom are both retired Feds. Asshole.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            People really are incredibly stupid. I can’t wait for my state to declare bankruptcy so they can get out of paying state pensions. Republicans managed to run up a $25 billion dollar deficit in 15 years, through incredibly stupid right wing financial engineering. I know two hard core Republicans collecting state pensions, and I can’t wait to see them get fucked out of them. Of course, good people will get hurt, too. That’s what really pisses me off. Those of us who don’t vote for these dumb fucks, have to bear the consequences.

      • AnniNoone

        Look at where, though. This is a district where pre-Trump she could have said poors should starve and still win by fifteen points.

      • Hardly Ideal

        I was gonna say, Karen Handel doesn’t believe in a livable wage, and neither, apparently, does the Georgian people.

        I wouldn’t say my hope is completely dead. It’s just staked to the ground with a giant piece of rebar.

    • chicken thief

      Wait, the person running against Handel was some “Jon Ossoff” guy? I thought she ran against Nancy Pelosi….

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Primary: 48.1%
      Runoff: 48.1%

      The Dems should have put that money into the primary and edged him over 50, which would have given him the seat outright. This is exactly the result that a lot of pundits predicted because of the fractured R primary field.

      • cmd resistor

        As someone pointed out, this gave the nasty GOP time to be nasty, spend $, etc., once they knew who their henchperson was going to be. I still hate it, just because it would have been nice to get ONE win.

  • chicken thief

    I think Mueller should get Matlock on his team. Then old people would believe that there is a there there and actually follow the investigation.

  • Pisto75666

    Does anyone know how to access the WaPo articles? I keep getting a message that I have to sign up for an account before I can read the article, and I really don’t want to do that (I’m signed up to enough things already).

    • Ryan Denniston

      Change your browser.

      • Pisto75666

        I usually just stick to Google but I used IE to read the article (it honestly didn’t occur to me before to do that.) Thanks for the tip!

        Now re: the WaPo article. Jesus, what a circle-jerk. Too bad Trumplestiltskin doesn’t pay anyone who works for him ’cause DAMN.

        • Ryan Denniston

          There’s like a 10 article limit every month like the Times. The New York one, not the real one.

          • AnniNoone

            Some article I read about Grenfell recently called them “The Times of London” and I was sad for them, having to identify their location like a common chip rag.

    • BadKitty904

      Try accessing the article via Google News – that sometimes works.

    • janecita

      Anonymous browsing works for me.

    • Shanzgood 16 Days

      Try private browser mode.

    • Steely_Fan

      Chrome’s incognito mode works for me.

    • Querolous

      NYT and WaPo articles are often reprinted in other sites. If you copy/paste a sentence into your search window the article could show up at a free site. Sometimes just the headline or byline will work if you filter for today’s date.

    • Jamoche

      Delete the WaPo cookies, if your browser has that option.

      • Pisto75666

        I think maybe I’d hit my article limit because i’ve never been able to access WaPo links here (tried deleting cookies but I still couldn’t get the article.) But I just used IE instead & it worked fine.

    • Unhappy Fingers

      If you’re on a Mac or iToy in Safari, you can hit Reader View. A few things will be missing, but all the text will be there.

  • Canis Greyhame

    Wait, are you saying can’t DON’T rule the world?

    • BadKitty904

      Dominick’s just tired, is all, poor lambkin.

      • Canis Greyhame

        Understandable, it’s be a rough .. 151 days, 21 hours, 32 minutes and 16 seconds.

  • La forza del resistino

    Will followup questions to the new WH presser rules have to be passed along to the next person like notes in grade school that read ‘I like you’?

    • Notreelyhelping

      What notes that say ‘I like you’?

      • La forza del resistino

        like the one I sent my future 1st wife. many years later, her attorney sent me a note, ‘she stopped liking you’

        • Steely_Fan

          Ouch.

    • cmd resistor

      I thought the notes were supposed to say, Do You Like ME, and then you check Yes or No.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Question: Congress gets to set the appropriations for the various departments, but is there anything that compels the agencies to actually spend it?

    • bupkus231

      I doubt there’s any legal compulsion – but as any bureaucrat knows, if you have money leftover at the end of an accounting period, your budget will be cut the following year – so spend it while you can!

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        I get that, but my point is that Trump wants to slash EPA, for instance, more than 30%, but Congress doesn’t. But couldn’t Pruitt just not spend it in order to get the outcome he wants?

        • chicken thief

          Yes, yes he could.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Watched me some Hannity last night. He’s still going after Madonna for the blowing up the WH comment. Christ, what a Idiot.

    • Canis Greyhame

      It takes a decade or two for those arseholes to stop using bullshit zingers like that, once they find something that resonates with idiots.

    • Bill D. Burger
      • Hardly Ideal

        Anderson Cooper’s comment has been ringing in my head for weeks after it came up on Last Week Tonight:

        Cooper: (to Trump surrogate Jeffery Lord) If he took a dump on his desk, you would defend it.
        Lord: (stunned laughter, doesn’t immediately deny it)

    • cmd resistor

      I saw someone blabbing about that recently. I think it was in the 30 seconds I spent on FOX the other day, now that I think of it. Not Hannity, just some of their morning idiots.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    That OANN / Bill O story is hilarious. That’s the network that couldn’t afford to keep Tomi Lahren.

  • chicken thief

    Why should McConnell ever change from being a total douche? Neither he nor the GOP as a party have paid any price what-so-ever for his total obstruction of all things Obama, stealing a SCOTUS seat, or wrecking the health care industry to give our most fortunate a 2% tax cut.

    • Canis Greyhame

      I fully expect a bait-&-switch. The ‘draft’ bill he presents will be some bullshit that is meant to make people calm down and stop paying attention.

      • chicken thief

        I’m somehow under the impression that to avoid having to have 60 votes for closure, which he’d never get, that the bill has to be scored by the CBO and mirror, to a certain degree, the House bill. Where’s Ezra Klein when I need him?!!!

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          That’s what I heard. Gotta git yer CBO score. So there’s sort of no way around The Bill actually being The Bill.

          On the plus side, there’s at least the Voterama to come in reconciliation. Any and all amendments must be considered. So even if you have very angry Dem Senators representing you, urge them to write up a few thousand potential amendments!

    • BadKitty904

      None. Zip. Zero. That’s where We the People have failed and what We the People need to fix. Now.

  • Bill D. Burger

    No reason…but it’s a rare Trump gif I’d never seen.
    rotfl

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8dbbc258b87617cde96a296d4d96ecd53ca02698fc0fc26e6189dc90db78813a.gif

    Keeping with the Shakespeare theme of late: “Toupée ….or not toupée.”

    • Meccalopolis

      10. 10. 10

      Nailed it

  • La forza del resistino

    WaPo’s Ashley Parker isn’t buying proposed WH presser change.
    https://twitter.com/purpledocket/status/851871113852452865

  • chascates

    That is one YUGE Wonkagenda!

    • Mpeg

      They have been, lately! If Dominic ever stunts his wonkagenda whereby I load the page to find a paltry dozen linked items, I’ll become worried for him~

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Whiskey Wednesday, eh? So, lessee… Mojito Monday, Tequila Tuesday, Fuzzy Navel Friday…

    Thorazine Thursday?

    • Courser_Resistance

      I’ll take that! Might mix well with the weed.

  • Zyxomma

    Happy Solstice, Wonketteers. Here in the northern hemisphere, it’s the longest day of the year, which means it’s the shortest day of the year in the southern hemisphere, of course. Whatever your plans, I hope you have fun.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Going to Anchorage today, where the sun will “set” at about 11:43 pm and rise at 3 am. Now that’s a solstice.

      • Zyxomma

        Indeed. Have fun.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          Offspring is a late sleeper so there will be morning time to inform the Wonketariat plus time to pester Lisa Murkowski over healthcare. Yay!

          • Amalga

            Be sure you know an ANC zipcode if you call. They will ask for it.

          • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

            Turnagain. I know it’s about the shape of the bay, but I still think it’s a romantic name. It’s like you have to turn again and look back when you leave.

          • Amalga

            Love the name too but use 99517 if you talk to a staffer.

    • Courser_Resistance

      It’s going to be very hot here today, so I’ll get my 15 minutes of sun at lunch, then retreat into my darkened, air-conditioned apartment.

    • Hardly Ideal

      I was just thinking yesterday about a road trip Mrs. Ideal and I took in 2015. We were driving from Southern California to Portland, to meet with some Warcraft guildies for barbecue and fireworks.

      One day, somewhere north of Tulelake, the sun was setting with all the great colors in the sky. I was sitting in the back seat and looking forward at everything when I noticed the dashboard clock: “9:08pm”

      As Rachel Maddow once said, Life’s amazing, and then you die.

  • Beautiful Soup

    is anyone watching the senate hearing? Did the witness [Mr. Priestap] really just move his mouth, pretending to speak but not making a sound? Heinrich’s response was “I don’t blame you for not answering that question.” Maybe the sound just went out for that one response, but a weird coincidence if so.

  • William
    • Meccalopolis

      Fashizzel

  • Marceline

    Keep in mind that come 2018 we’ll be very likely looking at a collapsed economy and a whole lot of people suffering the effects of the AHCA as well as a wholel ot of new war dead. If we’re closing the gap in a place like Georgia now, 2018 could be a pretty decent year for us. Especially if we can get some more favorable court decisions on voter suppression.

    • Shanzgood 16 Days

      I think the Republicans will delay some of their most abominable legislation (such as AHCA) from taking effect until after the mid-terms, though.

      • Marceline

        We’ll see. This whole conversation would be easier to have if we knew what was in the bill.

    • cmd resistor

      A decent year whilst living in caves.

      • Courser_Resistance

        I was scoping out caves a couple of weekends ago. Haven’t found one that’s jussssst right yet.

    • Persistent Demme

      Thanks.
      I needed that.

    • miss_grundy

      True. As of October 2017 the Trump federal budget begins and with it all of the shite the Republicans will be dropping on everyone. And, hopefully, Mueller will be inching ever closer to tightening the noose around Dolt 45. Ossoff came within 4 points of winning a seat that the previous Republican had won by 20-something points. And he was a rookie running his first campaign.

  • Canis Greyhame

    I guess WaPo decided to both-sides this Georgia shit with a take that’s … well it’s definitely a piece of work, really something else. Probably about what you would expect from a noted Trump-fellator and conservative D.C. lobbyist like Ed Rogers:

    “Tuesday was a yuge win for Trump. They may not admit it to pollsters, but a lot of people are pulling for the president. And they are pulling for Republicans.”

    He goes on to call it a “devastating defeat,” seriously.
    https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/post-partisan/wp/2017/06/21/the-victory-in-georgias-6th-is-a-yuge-win-for-trump/?tid=sm_fb&utm_term=.44da66d2a466#comments

    • cmd resistor

      Jerks. We made the mistake of watching 1 minute of FOX gloating this morning. Well, it was not MY choice.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Whistling past the graveyard. Instead of being catastrophic for Republicans it’s just really bad. It’s going to leave Democrats more angry and more determined to retool where necessary and win.
        Had Haddel lost they would have called her a bad candidate and framed it as a fluke.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Right. A novice Democrat came close to winning a seat in a deep red state, and Trump’s DISapproval rating is now 59.5%. What a devastating blow to all the snowflakes. .

    • BadKitty904

      You keep whistling past that graveyard, cupcake…

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        Shhh… let them be overconfident.

        • BadKitty904

          I doubt we could stop them, but yah, you’re right…

  • Anna E Killsright, Agent KELLY
    • CindyinEncinitas

      You must OBEY Tropical Storm Cindy.

      • Anna E Killsright, Agent KELLY

        xD Aye Aye, Cindy Ma’am!

        • CindyinEncinitas

          At ease…

  • Wookie Monster

    Why are we still talking about Tomi Lehran.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Point and laff?

  • Courser_Resistance

    Is anyone else thinking of Mueller’s Dream Team as the Avengers? or the Justice League?

    … just me, then? I’ll show myself out.

  • cmd resistor

    “He likes rallies.” When I was a very young kid (like less than 3), my parents would take a little container of cheerios to church to keep me from acting up. But the cheerios stopped when I was old enough to act right on my own.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      My grandmother had mints in her purse. They were a reward for acting right, like I wouldn’t have anyway. She’d also give me a dime for every bowel movement, so…

      • Beanz&Berryz

        You must be rich by now.

      • calliecallie

        My brother got fine a nickel every time he failed to zip his fly. He must have been, like 4? LOL. He didn’t even have money! But the idea was enough to train him. Today he’s a lawyer. Go figure.

      • Yr. Gma

        Mine had these tiny porcelain dolls. I still have them. I should have them appraised.

  • HazooToo

    No shit, being a conservative is harder if you are a woman, THAT’S BECAUSE THEY DON’T WANT YOU TO FUCKING TALK. You’re just supposed to look pretty and stroke their fucking egos! Fucking dumbshit.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Dye you hair blonde and wear short skirts and high heels. Make them sammiches!

      • HazooToo

        Tell us “Jesus was white” and stop bitching when men sleaze on you! It makes you a traitor!

    • Shibusa

      “It is easier if your husband lives in another state.” ~Melania

  • Jennifer R

    The use of the word “the” when discussing Ukraine is filled with political connotations. The word itself is actually a directionally reference in russian. Having a “the” in front of the name implies that Ukraine is part of russia.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      True, very true. But Trump is just ignorant so his use is probably just ignorance as much as “bigly”. Code for everyone else though.

    • Le Covfefe Royal

      It’s almost as annoying as The Ohio State University.

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        They do THAT to themselves.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    My cat Lucy does not need tanks or missiles. She has taken to lying on the desk with her back paws and her butt on my mouse hand and her tail flicking across the keyboard. When I nudge her to move, she meowls and bites my hand. She has drawn blood. She is doing it right now, and she can keep it up all day. I am running out of Band-Aids. Send help. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7d3e120de641ee09022fbaa1c55f9d3401e3dc794daa05322b124c5744a89173.jpg

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Have you tried insulting her? Maybe she can be shamed into moving?

    • Beautiful Soup

      Have you tried becoming left handed?

    • Unhappy Fingers

      You’re doomed, unless you can find something or someone your tortoise shell thinks is more interesting than you are. I used to have one. You’re somewhere in NJ, right? Maybe I could help. :-)

      To a couple of commenters below – No, she (the cat) is too smart to be fooled by changing hands. And she’s impervious to insults, at least when hungry.

      • Beautiful Soup

        So “tortitude” is real?

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Sometimes. Not always. I have another, older Tortie who is so quiet she is like a ghost in the house. I think she is Autistic. I can find no scientific reason why animals can’t have Autism, and she has all the symptoms. She lives on the top of the linen cupboard in my bathroom. I see her about 1 hour a day, although 2 years ago she did condescend to sleep at the foot of my bed for half the night and let me brush her. I think this means she loves me…it’s hard to tell with an Autistic cat.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Missouri. In all other respects she’s an extremely affectionate, sweet, undemanding cat. But she is also extremely territorial. I got her at 4 weeks old (foster kittie) and after 3 days of watching her chase and beat up her 2 brothers, I named her Lucy after the character in “Charlie Brown.” It is a very appropriate name.

        • Zwadny Zigashits

          I was just reading about this behavior in cats. They are observant about what’s important to you, and this looks like a jealous thingy….. your paying to darn much attention to something other than your owner.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            But I keep telling her “It’s not my fault! It’s Wonkette’s fault! Wonkette is too damn good! Bite Rebecca instead!!!!!” She hears me not.

        • Unhappy Fingers

          Ah, Missouri, the state of my youth, and where my Tortie came from when I took it over when my mother was no longer able to care for it.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            The state of my youth too. And I spent the first 18 years counting the minutes until I could get the hell out of here, which I did. But at age 55 after living through 4 hurricanes in Louisiana, the idea of living in a place that was boring, predictable and complacent was suddenly a lot more appealing, so I came back. It hasn’t changed much except now everyone is toting a gun and voting Republican.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Regarding auditing the votes: I doubt they actually have auditing software that works, or if they do, I doubt they have anyone who knows how to use it properly. At my last job, we had this incredibly expensive document management software that it was my job to troubleshoot. It came with a free reporting module. This free module was absolutely useless and could not generate reports that anyone could use. You could BUY the add-on reporting module that actually worked, but my employer didn’t want to spend the extra money. Even the software developer’s tech support people told me the free module was useless. Our CEO was computer-illiterate and clueless. I have no expectation that any government office does any better.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Trevor Noah’s certainly no Jon Stewart, but when he starts talking about race, he’s compelling.

    • Actually he’s really growing on me (though i agree – no one comes close to Stewart)

      • Zwadny Zigashits

        I wouldn’t compare the two.
        I find Noah compelling in a different way.

  • Mormos

    hey daytime whiskey, want to meet my cd collection? i feel like you guys would hit it off.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Dominic – you’re friendly commenter here just letting you know you’re missing a work in the Ukraine entry. You need a “be” between “happens to” and “occupied’.

    “it just happens to occupied by the Russian military”

    ; )

  • Lyly Sirivong

    You’d think Trump would have jumped on the opportunity of an audit to prove that millions of people voted illegally for Clinton… oh, wait…

  • Poly_Ester

    Donnie, “Its called ‘The Ukraine’, not many people know that, did you know that President Prorshenko?”

  • eyelashviper

    Any breaking news yet about the Master Ken Doll, Jared the Sartorial, achieving peace in the ME yet? The world anxiously awaits the miracle.
    On another note, while the State Department is still trying to find the light switches, the military has taken over our international “diplomacy”…what could go wrong?

    http://www.suprmchaos.com/lumpy_you-take-care-of-it_062117.jpg

  • BJW

    That cat video! Best thing yet today.

  • Jonny On Maui

    If cats ruled the world?

  • JustDon’tSayCovfefe

    So Scott Adams has gone full Trump-defender. ‘Dilbert’ almost made me stab my monitor today.

    • Jamoche

      Been that way for a while – his blog posts are a cesspool.

      • JustDon’tSayCovfefe

        True, but now it’s in the fkn comic strip.

  • miss_grundy

    Here in the Detroit-area the newsers are reporting a terror-related stabbing of an airport security guard at the Flint airport. A Canadian citizen by the name of Amor Ftouhi stabbed Lt. Neville on the neck from behind with a Bowie knife. The assailant is from Canada and entered the country through New York on June 16th. The security guard underwent surgery and is in stable condition.

  • phoenix00

    So cheap prescription drugs are literal murder, but hey they’re real cheap!

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