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We love this man with the passion of a thousand fiery suns

We here at Wonkette hate bullshit infighting so much that we do not even have a comments section, which is why we ignore even the most interesting internecine internet fights. We have no beefs! We are all in love with everybody equally except for Fuckface McGee who is also known as He With The Most Untouchable Of Combovers, aka Babyhands Jones, aka the President of the United States because that guy is SUCH A FUCKING WANKER. Him we hate, but everybody else we love!

However we most especially love us some Preet Bharara because some of us are lawyers and all of us enjoy it a lot when we see lawyers being all ethical and annoying the White House with their stubborn refusal to treason all day long!

Say what you will about Louise Mensch (and whatever you think, many people say many things!) but she is very willing to say the things she is thinking and damn the consequences. (Which, if you take the politics out of it, is a Very Feminist Lifestyle!) So we are not here to add to the canon of thinkpieces about a Twitter person, no sirree! We simply wish to register a bit of gentle advice for cross-cultural communication – and even at that we are not holding ourselves up as paragons of multinational understanding! I personally once got on the Tube and complimented a British woman’s shoes, which I was later told was the equivalent of abruptly screaming insults about her parentage at her face instead of being a mere expression of my appreciation for that particular shoe pair, so I understand how hard it can be!

Which brings us to today’s lesson in Internetting: Do Not Lawsplain To Preet. 

Again we cannot state clearly enough that we do not want to hear about your personal feelings towards any internet personalities because they are a thing you should save for Twitter, and also Preet Bharara is a fucking legend and we Do Not Explain The Law To Preet, as a rule, forever and ever amen. But we’re pretty sure that Preet doesn’t just say things on the Internet that he’s not fairly sure of. Because Preet is a Badass Constitutional Lawyer.

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  • Anna Elizabeth

    “And it is very much lamented,…
    That you have no such mirrors as will turn
    Your hidden worthiness into your eye
    That you might see your shadow.”

  • Lance Thrustwell

    I don’ know ’bout none o’ this shit, meng. I neither know what ‘sealed indictments’ are, nor the specific ones to which they are referring.

    dafuq?

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    He’s really aged since his days in District 12.

    • William Cook for now.

      That was Peeta, but close.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    I’m waiting to hear what Detective Benson has to say about this before I know what to think.

    • Three Finger Salute

      I’d rather have Munch vs. Mensch.

      • leemoder

        Goren or go home!

        • FlownΩver

          Lenny, we hardly knew ye!

  • William Cook for now.

    Preet Bahrara knows the law and also too that there are deranged people on any given side and you have to tune them all out to get anything done.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    You can’t know, because they’re sealed indictments!

    (but I can, even though they’re sealed, because reasons)

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Look, we have just as many dingleberries, dipshits , and dopes on our side. We’re just better at ignoring them or dunking on them.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      and we’re far less likely to vote for them for office

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      The weirdos on our side are also a tad more on the eccentric side. Ours are weed-addled professors and ladies named Zephyr, not the local bar fly with the pics of his guns in his wallet.

      • (((fka_donnie_d)))

        for reference, what’s the problem with zephyr, exactly? I haven’t seen/heard that much of her, but she _seemed_ fairly sane.

        • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

          Zephyr Teachout? Nothing against her personally, I just meant that in a “people with kinda weird names tend to be lefties” kind of way.

          Oddly, I’ve found the more first names a person has in their name (Jack James John, for instance) the more likely they’re a Republican.

          • NellCote71

            Also men in 30ish age range named Tucker are for sure Republicans. And that is such a pissant Repug name anyway.

          • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

            I have never met a Tucker or a Hunter who wasn’t a Republican and didn’t have an entire closet full of camo.

          • Notreelyhelping

            Not counting the late Doctor, of course.

          • Three Finger Salute

            I really don’t want to know what’s in Fucker Carlson’s closet. A lot more than bow ties and a shrine to Reagan, I’m sure.

          • FlownΩver

            Himself, mostly.

          • Shibusa

            Frank Luntz’s house in CA has replicas of the Oval Office and the Lincoln bedroom in it. And a replica of Monica’s blue dress. What a freak.

          • Hunter S Thompson was the second but not the first.

          • (((fka_donnie_d)))

            It seems like, people with many first names, don’t have the most unique last names. Why is that do you think?

          • Little Lulu Ω

            Or went to boarding school.

      • Shibusa

        “…not the local bar fly with the pics of his guns in his wallet….” Or the pics of guns, American flags, military jets and/or bald eagles as avatars. Oh and the usernames often involve the words freedom, liberty, patriot or (lately) Deplorable.

    • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

      And our dipshits can make a protest sign with no misspellings.

    • Shalimar

      Let’s not get carried away with this. I grant that 40 years ago, we used to have more dipshits and dopes on our side, but that was before Republicans started broadcasting talk radio at all of their semi-normal humans. They’re way ahead of us at this point. Their whole base is nuts.

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    Is there a term for this? Where you Dunning-Kruger-splain at someone what they, by definition, know better than you cuz it’s their job?

    DK-splain?

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Patronizing works for me. :P

    • Carpe Vagenda

      altsplaining.

      • FlownΩver

        “Being wrong.” Obscure, I’ll admit.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          but, being tendentiously wrong, also too.

  • SammyDEEEE

    Louise:

    Please shut the fuck up.

    Thanks,
    Everyone (seriously. EVERYONE.)

  • Indiepalin

    Is this the same guy who clerked for Wapner?

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    I’m withholding judgment until Bill Palmer weighs in…

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    Preet’s tweets are reet petite.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tE46zm4yjhA

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      That reminds me of Affred Bester’s story “Fondly Fahrenheit.” Some of you might remember it. Worth looking up if you haven’t.

      Oh it’s no feat to beat the heat.
      All reet! All reet!
      So jeet your seet
      Be fleet be fleet
      Cool and discreet
      Honey…

  • whitroth

    Now, IANAL, but it seems to me she has ZERO background in US law…. I suppose I should look forward to her suggesting to me how to fix a server, too….

    • Jennifer R

      She made some interesting comments on what she thought an IP address was, and how they should be formed.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        *blink* Do I want to know how deep that particular rabbit hole goes or should I just stay out here where it’s safe?

        • Bad Tom

          Safe! SAFE! SAAAAAAFE! *pant* *pant* *pant*

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Red pill? Blue pill? Paisley pill? Up to you, sport!

      • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

        How is IP formed? How girl get website?

        • Carpe Vagenda

          IP Frieleigh is one of Trump’s russian lady friends.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        192.168.1.1 is the address of Mueller’s secret stash of sealed indictments. Pass it on!

        • whitroth

          I suspect that she’s getting to the point where she gets her information from 127.0.0.1….

      • Latverian Diplomat

        If you don’t do it right, you can get domain poisoning.

    • vivian

      I’m not sure why you need to proclaim your sexual proclivities before making your point, but…

      • whitroth

        That depends. This response is based on my having been married to a lawyer (one of the good ones, but not a fit for either of us).

  • Ninja0980

    As a resident of NY state, let me say this, if you want to see someone who has truly drained the swamp, this man is it.
    It’s why Trumpbots attacking him as a Democratic shill is a joke when he took on Sheldon Silver, the most powerful (and corrupt) Democrat in NY state and won are a bunch of idiots.
    And that includes Mensch, who is a conservative plant NO ONE on the Democratic side should fall for.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Seriously. Silver was the only one who got away with screwing Bloomberg over on the stadium, after Bloomberg tried to buy his vote with a new school. Nobody would have called that one.

      • Meccalopolis

        That stadium would have been an epic disaster

        • Carpe Vagenda

          It abolutely would. Leaving aside the practical difficulties, imagine trying to bring a stadium full of cars into Manhattan, or building that low-bid abomination they ended up putting in the Bronx.

    • Claire

      If there’s anyone left in this sad fucking mess whose word I will believe without qualification, it’s Preet Bharara. Dude has the receipts and his track record for corruption-fighting is impeccable. If there’s a credibility face-off between him and Mensch, there’s only one choice for the winner.

      • MassiveQuantitiesofPie

        I’m trying to think of who Mensch could beat in a credibility face-off. I got nothing but it certainly isn’t Bharara.

        • Claire

          The Weekly World News, rest its soul?

    • At this point, I really don’t buy people (including some on this very thread, which doesn’t exist as we aren’t allowed comments here) who follow her or give her the time of day.

      Anyone who does that is someone I really side eye.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Say what you will about Louise Mensch

    I’ll let her speak for herself:

    https://twitter.com/yashar/status/876614010145091585

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      She a bit problematic, to say the least. We libtards need to be careful not to get too excited just because she sometimes comes up with some dirt on the boy king

      • UnsaltedSinner

        It would be one thing if she was a reliable reporter, but she ‘s not.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        Yeah, I’m with you. I honestly can’t figure out what her end-game is, so I follow with a large grain of salt. Yougest grains.

        • MassiveQuantitiesofPie

          Well, she works for Rupert Murdoch or did until December so, I’m guessing to split the opposition against Trump is the game.

    • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

      hey, who among us has not appeared on Tall Chairs and Short Skirts to say terrible things?

  • arglebargle

    What a mensch. And I don’t mean Louise.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • HazooToo

    I’ll say she doesn’t prove anything she claims, and while she’s been right about some things, there are good goddamn reasons for wanting proof about outlandish claims. And when you respond to people questioning you with insults, accusations of being a spy, and blocking, you look like a fucking raving lunatic. She also wound up doxxing an innocent girl who’s picture she posted, asking if that was a picture of a troll she was arguing with. The girl in the picture was NOT in any way related to the troll, but she got a ton of shit anyway. Mensch is not the kind of ally I want or need in this Russia fight.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      There’s that entire thread where she failed to read the Constitution about how the Impeachment process works. Nonsense about a “Marshal of the SCOTUS” delivering a “sealed indictment” of the Shitgibbon-in-Chief.

      Fail, honey. Just fail.

      • HazooToo

        Claude Taylor and John Schindler have sort of glued themselves to her, as well. They back each other up and make wild claims. I’ve seen Schindler go immediately on the attack against someone who expressed doubt. Taylor seems to be a little less reactionary. I’m no longer retweeting any of them, unless they come with receipts. Better safe than sorry.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Schindler has some good contacts, but has some shady shit in his immediate past as well. There are solid reasons for him being on the outside, not the inside, right now.

          • HazooToo

            In that case, I don’t see where he is entitled to attack a single person who doubts him. He can either put up, or shut up.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          No, Taylor seems to be disenchanted since she started attacking liberals on twitter last weekend.

          • HazooToo

            Well, there goes any hope that one out of three would be slightly acceptable. No matter! We still have TONS of actual real journalists who can back up their claims, and we don’t fucking need false hope salesmen!

          • Notreelyhelping

            I kind of dig Taylor, and he comes up with something cool now and then. Schindler can be funny, and then he throws out something whack (did you know communists are growing in your bathroom). Louise is like “You’re a spy! And you’re a spy! And….”

          • Schindler really believes that Teh Jihadi Menace are out to get us all. But he also really hates Trump. So on balance he’s a good read.

        • Claire

          Schindler seems to be backing off that whole Taylor/Mensch cluster a little lately.

          • MassiveQuantitiesofPie

            He is IMO. Of the group Schindler is the only one with any genuine bona fides in his own right. I don’t think he has super high-level contacts but I think he knows the general mood in the IC and gets snippets here and there. The best natsec guy on Twitter is Malcolm Nance and he saw through Mensch from day 1.

            I think Taylor knows somebody or did and got that one big scoop about the EDVA Flynn grand jury a month before CNN confirmed it. He hasn’t had much solid since. Maybe his contact was pissed about him posting that and now he has nothing, which is why he started penning increasingly absurd articles with Mensch as a desperate attempt to stay relevant. Now he might be backing off her a little too.

            If you really look at Mensch, she only got that one story about the FISA warrant in November 2016 right and she got that from Naveed Jamali of MSNBC. The confirmations of that story that she touts from the BBC and WaPo in January 2017 aren’t 100% confirmations since a lot of their details agree with each other but are different from hers. She does that a lot. She’ll write a wild, crazy article and if a single name, concept, or phrase shows up in the MSM, she’ll take that as confirmation of her entire tale. She did that with her Putin-catfished-and-framed-Weiner story.

          • HazooToo

            I hope so. It’ll be for the best if they just settle down a little bit.

      • coozledad

        Add Taibbi and Greenwald to that mix. Their deference to the Russians isn’t just a blind spot. Someone’s cutting them checks.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Given that she’s a former(?) Tory with still-present ties to Breitbart people, I’m getting more and more convinced that she’s a fake meant to stir us up and marching off in the wrong direction. Screaming at people that they’re spies sounds a whole lot like projection.

      I’m even somewhat suspicious that her occasionally correct claims are fed to her, knowingly or not, by a certain ex-head of Breitbart to bolster her credibility and lead us off the trail of actually important stuff. In all, I’d consider anything she drops to be extremely suspect, if not active disinformation.

      • HazooToo

        Always be extremely suspicious of anyone who says “I have the truth and no, you can’t see it, just believe that I’m right or you’re the enemy!”

        • Shibusa

          That anyone sounds like Trump.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        and also too when she left Heat Street (the property he built for her after she did him some legislative favors), they said she was leaving to develop more properties for Murdoch, so it doesn’t sound as if she strictly speaking left his employ.

        • I believe she still has a regular, bile filled column in Murdoch’s Sun newspaper.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            I feel like the fact that the Times, which famously flat-out lied about the FBI investigating the Trump campaign, chose Louise Mensch for the spotlight role of defender of Russian hack conspiracy theories on their OpEd page tells you pretty much everything you need to know about her validity.

      • Meccalopolis

        Or to maker us look unhinged and hang a conspiracy theory tag on the whole thing, which is what you hear from the other side

      • My attitude is that she’s a dumb egomaniac who isn’t DELIBERATELY misdirecting people; but she’s being used by (Russian?) spooks who leak her nonsense so she will do so.

    • Claire

      Her accusing people of being Russian trolls has really gotten out of hand. People aren’t Putinbots just because they disagree with you or want you to back up your assertions.

      • MassiveQuantitiesofPie

        Exactly. Russian troll bots are real but they’re easy to spot and they mainly stick to spamming Trump’s feed with pro-MAGA stuff and anti-Obama/anti-Hillary BS.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Is this open thread? I’m wonking ( no, not winking autocorrect) at you from the dealership while they look at my van. Waiting… such fun!!

    • HazooToo

      I don’t think so YET, but good luck with the van. Selling or fixing?

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        Fixing. They recently changed the rules in texas so you only have your registration sticker, but that means you have to get inspected before you try to register. Which sucks for cars with problems.

        • HazooToo

          Urgh! Hope its not too expensive. I had to replace tires and have them realigned to pass my inspection, came with a four digit price tag.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            Oye. Dealership is a rip, but this time have the gear to figure out my issue. Well the vans issues.

          • Meccalopolis

            I like taking my subie to the dealer for service. They know what to look for and catch stuff before it gets too expensive

          • Predisenting Ron

            ‘Before it gets too expensive’? My experience with Subarus is that that ship has sailed the second your signature dries on the sales form.

          • Meccalopolis

            Yeah no aftermarket parts but they’re just so good in the snow

          • Predisenting Ron

            My BFF adores his Outback for that reason, since once a week during winter he has to make a long drive over poorly-cleared roads for work. But oh, I shudder when he asks me to do any service on the thing…

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        living in it, down by the river

    • vivian

      You can wink too, we’re kinda used to that around here.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Wonking in a public place?

      • HazooToo

        Unsanitary! Where are my pearls?!

        • Meccalopolis

          And in pants. Well, I never!

    • msanthropesmr

      Do you have a creepy white van?

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        No she’s a lovely wonderful minivan I rescued from a shady used car dealer.

  • jesterpunk

    OT but He went to Jared and is getting ready to solve the middle east this week after his tech conferences in the White House.

    http://www.vanityfair.com/news/2017/06/jared-kushner-middle-east-peace

  • UnsaltedSinner

    [Cough!]Tory twit[Cough!]

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Louise, being a friend of the vile sack of shit that is Milo Yiannopoulos, is highly suspect. Also a Tory…highly suspect.

  • jesterpunk

    Mensch seems like some of those rogue white house twitter accounts, with just enough information to sound good but the main goal is to troll liberals.

    • Diana Romaine

      She hates those rogue WH accounts. I stopped following her when she attacked them . I see them as fun, harmless nothings and she was really vicious to them. I was like, bye.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        well, they’re sort of feeding at the same trough, if you take that view of it.

  • Pongo

    Plus, her writing is atrocious.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    we ignore even the most interesting internecine internet fights.

    Internecine, is that the one between the Pleistocene and the Holocene?

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    And yet Republicans can categorically state that there’s no evidence of Russian collusion with Trump’s people without knowing what the Special Counsel has, without a hint of self awareness.

    • MassiveQuantitiesofPie

      Right?

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Louise Mensch should try to be a little nicer.”
    — Council for Nominative Determinism, Enforcement Division

  • FauxAntocles

    She blocked me and I have no idea why. I’m always so nice and polite.

  • Marceline

    She has given some solid info but she’s definitely gotten drunk on her own celebrity. The constant harping on scooping the MSM is beyond annoying because they refuse to acknowledge that the standards for MSM have to be higher to avoid that whole “defamation” thing. That’s the issue with allying with the #NeverTrump conservatives. We’re on the same side of the fight against Trump but in most cases ONLY the fight against Trump.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      She also has some still-extant ties with Breitbart, and tends to react hysterically when people call her out for overplaying her info. I go back and forth over whether she’s genuine and just isn’t used to getting called out for resorting to falsehood, or whether she’s a fake stirring us up for clicks and both-sides-do-it grist.

      • Marceline

        I followed her until she started some mess with/about Milo and I saw the photos of them together. I want no part of anybody who ever found that guy acceptable. I just shut down any mention of him at all.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The #NeverTrump GOP types are still GOP types. They’re just smart enough to realize that Donald is in the process of destroying their brand.

      • Claire

        I feel like some of them are genuinely pissed off about what he’s done to the Real Intellectual Roots of Conservativism, which really don’t exist but a lot of conservatives still think they do. Jennifer Rubin, for example, is basically the GOP’s Medea at this point – she feels like they’ve betrayed her so she’s going to slaughter their offspring and fly away in a dragon-drawn chariot or die trying.

        • BJW

          It’s a joy to behold her. Especially after the years of her pissing on Democrats and Obama.

          • Claire

            Right? She is like the avenging Fury for everyone in the country who ever thought the GOP might be anything but a gigantic poor-punishing grift machine. She is Strauss’ Elektra screaming in the courtyard. I hope she and the others like her can resurrect a sane and decent conservative party.

          • BJW

            Yes. I don’t have hope for that but it would be great to have a sane, thoughtful and non-mercenary GOP.

        • Ferdinand_The_Imposter

          Jennifer Rubin is on a crusade to behold! One blistering takedown after another, five times a day. Well thought-out well-written, relentless.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      and there’s some reason to believe she’s not never Trump.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “I stand by my gossip and innuendo.”

    • Predisenting Ron

      Those are KINDS of evidence, right?
      – Lionel Hutz, Attorney at Law as seen on TV

  • ltmcdies

    I followed Mensch for a while…up until the point when her “facts” become more convoluted and her results sparse. She seemed to throwing out these lifelines to disheartened center/left voters that some huge “thing” would bring down Trump sooner rather than later. And then …bupkis. She also has a pretty sketchy grasp of American politics

    She has been right but not consistently. And this sealed indictment thing…she’s riding that hobby horse for months now with nothing to show for it. Jesus Christ… If they have enough for sealed indictments what do they need Mueller for? Unseal and arrest.

    I stopped following and really think Louise needs to be taken with a huge does of salt if not caution.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      She hasn’t bothered to read the fucking Constitution. It’s not like it’s behind firewalls or anything…

      • Probably will become so when the Trump administration decide to amend it, just like with the healthcare bill.

    • Jennaratrix

      Enormous, HMS Titanic-sized grain of salt.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        With that much salt and an iceberg you can make one hell of a margarita.

        • KillerMartinis

          Trouble is a New York-Europe line would have more gin than tequila.

        • Jennaratrix

          Mmm, margaritas…

  • God, do we really have a shortage of Conservative twits and needed to import Louise from Jolly Old England?
    https://media.giphy.com/media/lT4sgCJwC7B4c/giphy.gif

    • UnsaltedSinner

      When England sends its people, they’re not sending their best.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        See the Massachusetts Bay Colony for the archtypical example.

        To be perfectly fair, they got much better over the intervening centuries.

        • Jennaratrix

          HEY NOW I RESEMBLE THAT REMARK! Mom traced our ancestry back to the Mayflower. I say without the cash and wicked WASP connections, it does us fuckall good, but…

          Oh, wait. I see what you mean.

          • arundel

            Gore Vidal had a funny story, about some old Yankee Wasp blueblood, who was asked by an impressionable young woman if his ancestors had come over on the Mayflower.

            “No. We sent the servants on the Mayflower to set things up for us. We came on the next boat.”

          • Jennaratrix

            Ha! I love this, and hadn’t heard it. I should tell my mom, she might actually get upset; she seems to put some stock in our – well, stock, although I’m of the opinion that it doesn’t mean a whole lot. The historian in me likes it, and it’s been an interesting story to tell over the years. Also, I was telling a co-worker, who ended up being a good friend, and along with both being from Massachusetts and living in the Midwest and all of the common ground that gave us, it turns out we can trace our ancestry back to the same person on the Mayflower, and so we’re actually related. Oh, and if my mom ever decides to get all the documentation together to join the DAR, I’m going to follow her in and horrify all those old biddies by showing up to meetings and being me; not exactly the most refined of people, as you know if you’ve read any of my more sweary posts.

      • Yellerduck

        They all come over, flaunting their spotted dicks…

      • Meccalopolis

        Mostly infomercial pitch men it seems

      • Teecha

        We don’t actively have a policy of sending them. They just fuck off and we don’t try to keep them.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    There is no truth to the rumor that one of Sydney’s kids was named Preet A. Portier.

  • weejee

    So Louise is making a mountain out of a sealed indictment Mohelhill? That’s not being a mensch.

  • Ferdinand_The_Imposter

    ‘We here at Wonkette hate bullshit infighting so much that we do not even have a comments section.” What people don’t like about Louise is how resistant she is to factual correction. But seriously, Wonkette, why should we buy anything you say when you advance such easily disprovable nonsense? Love, a fan.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      (pssst. The comment section thing is a humorously funny in-joke which doesn’t exist because Wonkette doesn’t allow comments. Ask us about canned clams)

      • Ferdinand_The_Imposter

        Ok, “what about canned clams”?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Dick jokes solve EVERYTHING. Also those cakes we like, and CANNED CLAMS!

      • mardam422

        And that’s all!! Nothing else!! Except these whore diamonds. Just these whore diamonds, and the dick jokes, and those cakes we like, and canned clams. And that’s all.

        • KillerMartinis

          And whiskey.

      • Opiwan

        Oh please, everyone knows THE CAKE IS A LIE

        • theblackdog

          No no no, it’s those cakes we like!

      • theblackdog

        You MONSTER!

    • HazooToo

      We would love for you to come more often, you seem like an interesting and sassy person.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        I’d like to see us all come more frequently, truth be told.

        • Gregory Brown

          I see what you did there, and NOW I’m trying with all my might to unsee it. Thanks a lot!

      • Ferdinand_The_Imposter

        Why thank you, Hazoo

    • Gregory Brown

      I’m sorry, what is it about comments not being allowed do you find puzzling?

      • Ferdinand_The_Imposter

        That you convey that thought through the comment section.

        • Gregory Brown

          I see you are wrestling with the concept of no comments allowed.

          • KillerMartinis

            If you put the comments in a screen with a code that could kill them and turned off the servers…

          • Gregory Brown

            Killer, you’re kind of new here, and doing fine work. But it is a longtime tradition at Wonkette that comments are not allowed. One might almost say, a tongue-in-cheek tradition.

          • KillerMartinis

            I never specified comments from *where*

          • Gregory Brown

            True that.

          • Ferdinand_The_Imposter

            Nah, not anymore.

          • Gregory Brown

            You set my mind at ease. It’s a longstanding in joke here that no comments are allowed, and every now and then new people find their way here and encounter this very “strict” rule.

          • Ferdinand_The_Imposter

            Setting your mind at ease is today’s highest priority and to hell with the rest of the harpies.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    On the other hand, Wonkette is always ready to plum the depths of a good inter-nectarine squabble.

    • Fitzgerald Chesterfield
    • Msgr_MΩment

      …unless it’s really juicy…

    • bbayliss

      “Do I dare to eat a nectarine? Shall I part my hair behind?’
      I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the shoreline.
      I have heard the mermaids singing between, between.
      I do not think that they will sing to me.”

  • Bitter Scribe

    If the unicorns are invisible, how do you legally know they don’t exist?

    • bbayliss

      Their lack of shadow.

    • Johnny Appleseed

      They repair my shoes overnight.

      Oh wait, Elves…nevermind.

      • TundraGrifter

        Shoes, cookies and toys in Santa’s Workshop.

        • Jon Sussex

          Can they do anything about the toys in Trump’s attic?

          • TundraGrifter

            Misfit toys that were never played with by happy girls and boys.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Keebler Cobbler elves?

    • mackafritz

      Oh, she is real. And she is pink.

    • Predisenting Ron

      But they MUST exist, therefore they DO. Logic!

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    Do androids dream electric sheep?

    That’s my opinion on that.

  • bbayliss

    “…I am serenely confident in my work…”
    As hard as I try I cannot recall being serenely confident about anything, ever.

    • KillerMartinis

      I’m serenely confident that I bought enough whiskey. Calling that a win.

      • DrBigHead

        I’m NEVER confident I have enough whiskey.

        • KillerMartinis

          Even I can’t get through two fifths by morning.

          • DrBigHead

            So you are putting a time limit on it?

          • KillerMartinis

            oh, definitely. This was an “enough until I get to town next” determination. One assumes everyone knows that in an infinite timeline there can never be enough whiskey.

      • Crystalclear12

        But how are your vodka supplies!!!!!????

        • KillerMartinis

          Can probably make it to friday

    • Gregory Brown

      I am, as a journalist for over 30 years, serenely confident that Mensch is no journalist. Just another internet poser.

      • bbayliss

        She seems to be neither fish, flesh nor fowl.

        • Gregory Brown

          Perhaps mineral.

          • bbayliss

            That copper taste in the mouth.

          • Gregory Brown

            Nailed it.

      • KillerMartinis

        pffft “journalism.” We here on the Internet prefer our rumors to come unsourced and with no masthead to infer at least editorial oversight.

        • Gregory Brown

          I know, Killer, I know you’re being sarcastic, but many really hold that view, and it kills me. Actually I am a Wonketeer for the very reason that this site employs facts to snark at the banality of evil in positions of power. Yr editrix is an editor and knows the business. That’s why I pay what I can to help keep this site alive and doing good work.

  • Brendan_M

    I mean, just ask a British person about Mensch. They’ll probably say something rude about her, possibly something that sounds gendered but is somehow acceptable over there. While an MP, she helped clear the Murdochs of wrongdoing in the phone hacking scandal. And then she immediately took a job with them. She’s sleazy and dishonest AF.

    I think avoiding the stupid Bernie/Hillary fight that some dead-enders insist on wasting energy on is a smart editorial choice for Wonkette. But taking a firm stance on denouncing actual, non-ironic Fake News, especially from “the Left”, should be absolutely required for anyone who values the truth and has the best interest of the resistance at heart.

    For all those following Louise Mensch, saying you like a lot of what she reports but think she is a little crazy sometimes: that is basically the exact same thing the Pizzagate shooter said about Alex Jones. Don’t be like those people, tolerating a cancerous presence like Mensch because she tells you comforting lies.

  • I don’t know about the no infighting thing. In the last 2 days i have seen super intense debates about how to consume left over pizza and which way the toilet paper is retrieved. And that doesn’t even mention the Chili Wars

    • KillerMartinis

      1. one assumes you are imagining this because in order for this to occur there would have to be a comments section

      2. there is an extant patent on toilet paper with full diagram, I don’t know why anyone would attempt to say otherwise

      • We got some crazies around. *stage whispers* this is the Internet!

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        My very personal opinion about the toilet paper issue: as long as there is some to use, I don’t care how it’s hung — this comes from lots of camping and spending time in third world countries.

        • LucindathePook

          It depends on if you have cats or not. If you do, and you put the paper on so it rolls over the top, the cats can paw at it and paw at it and unroll it. The other way, not so much. But otherwise, meh.

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            Funny, my cats don’t mess with the tp. However, I have one that likes to take a bite out of a loaf of bread through the plastic.

          • LucindathePook

            Got any that eat corn on the cob?

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            No. I used to have one that likes tortilla chips.

          • sw19covfefe

            One of mine used to love potato chips.

          • Tosca

            My cat loves cheese. But only off the floor. Put it in her bowl, she won’t touch it. My daughter hypothesizes it’s Hunting Instinct.

          • Vienna Woods

            My dog loves raw asparagus. Luckily I have a big patch of it out back.

      • DirtyHippyLiberal

        Thank you! That is exactly the argument I used with my wife just last week. It backfired. She’s a rebel.

        • KillerMartinis
          • Quercus Queen

            Bleeping a song called “Fuck Authority” has always made me snicker. And then roll my eyes.

        • Gregory Brown

          I am always far more concerned that there be toilet paper on the roll, than concerned about which way it is dispensed.

    • DrBigHead

      Or BBQ. I mean, who in their right mind would use a mustard-based sauce!!!

    • Mehmeisterjr

      The Chili Wars?

      How dare you, suh, how dare you cast asparagus upon the gallant purveyors of hot sauce?

      Those were The Wars of Mild Sauce Aggression.

    • Persistent Demme

      OMG, Pickwick!
      Do NOT go there!
      DO NOT bring up the Great Toilet Paper Debate of ’17!!!!!!!!
      GAH!

  • This is the kind of internet shit that gives me a headache.

  • Claire

    I still read her and Claude Taylor, but it’s more like reading wish-fulfillment fanfiction than any sort of genuine clue as to what’s going on in reality.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I agree. The Book of Faces and 24 hour news cycle have created a Trump Impeachment Industry.
      This is going to be a long slow slog, because these lawyers are very thorough, and they only get one bite at the apple.
      Louise is entertaining, but she’s no friend of the left.

    • arundel

      Agree. I read her and Claude and Schindler like I’m reading some serialized spy novel/ political thriller. Like the X-Files, I want to believe. But my skepticism is healthy, I don’t take it seriously, more as entertainment. Mostly fiction. And Louise is witty with her zingers, I must say.

    • Jukesgrrl

      I just read Claude. If she says anything useful, he repeats it, so no need to subscribe to both.

  • Calton

    “I stand by my reporting”

    Easy enough to do when you don’t do actual reporting.

    • Me not sure

      Well then,…I’ll just stand by mine too!

    • arundel

      Srsly, like she’s Lois Lane sleuthing the mad scientist’s lab with a notebook or something. I imagine it’s hard to do reporting when you’re tweeting every twenty minutes around the clock.

  • Explody Brain

    Dear Preet,

    You are an extremely experienced, educated and outspoken man. I would like to see you on TV more.

    With regards to that, do something about your hair.

    Love,

    Explody Brain

  • Mehmeisterjr

    I can do Louise Mensch one better. Not only do I stand by my reporting, I stand by my NFL quarterbacking.

    I have never actually been an NFL quarterback and if, somehow and don’t ask me how, I bluffed my skinny ass into an NFL game, I would be sacked before the first pass. But I stand by that record. Proudly.

    Can you say that, Mr. Preet Nonamericannamewhatever?

  • SweetDeeKat

    Hold the fuck up. How do you insult a woman by admiring her shoes? I have mad love for shoes, including other people’s.

    • KillerMartinis

      One does not under any circumstances address a stranger on the tube, ever, I am told.

      • SweetDeeKat

        Dang. I would definitely not fit in.

        • mfp

          same here

    • sw19covfefe

      It was not the subject matter.
      YOU DO NOT START CONVERSATIONS WITH PEOPLE ON PUBLIC TRANSPORT.
      End of.
      You weirdos.

      • KillerMartinis

        I really thought the whole carriage was going to empty at the next stop. It was one of the greatest things I’ve ever witnessed.

        • sw19covfefe

          Everyone naturally thought you were the “nutter on the tube”. :)
          After spending so much time in North America, I’ve grown accustomed to people striking up conversations with me now (and Canada is a sort of happy middle ground of polite reticence: i.e. no life stories).
          But it’s still very much instilled in my psyche not to initiate conversation. I actually had a very enjoyable chat with a guy over the cuban cigar I was smoking, last week, while we waited for the ferry to arrive. I did start getting a little uncomfortable for me when it continued on the ferry itself, but I recognise that’s on me. In the end it was a pleasant chat with him and his wife. Wouldn’t want it happening all the time tho! :p

          • KillerMartinis

            It took me about two months before I nailed the obvious sideways jealous look to communicate to a woman I liked her bag or whatever without actually telling her so. For a people who like to scream outside pubs when the rugby cup’s on you sure are subtle. (protip: DO NOT SHOW UP TO LONDON WITH GREEN HAIR A WEEK BEFORE IRELAND IS IN THE RUGBY)

          • Gregory Brown

            Sound advice for children of all ages.

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          Maybe bc my mother was English, and I grew up (in California) speaking with an English accent because that was the only way English was “properly spoken,” and when I finally moved out I got rid of the accent, but it bubbles back to the surface whenever I’m visiting family and friends in London, in fact as soon as I get out of Heathrow, but I always strike up conversations, even on the tube! I’ve even had people strike up conversations with me, in particular, traveling with our then-young son, who is adopted and of Mexican heritage, I had a lady of Filipino descent or some such, literally yell at me across the carriage, “HOW COME YOUR SON IS SO MUCH DARKER THAN YOU?” and continuing in the same vein, no matter how much I tried to be polite (“Yes, he has a lovely skin color, we all do”) with HER young son adding “HE”S DARKER THAN ME!” Which was so nice for a self-conscious 9 year old who’s heard this question already repeatedly in his life. WE almost got off at the next stop. (I know, she was Filipino, so doesn’t “count” as “British,” I know how the Brits work.)

          I did, however, somehow offend the clerk of a smart boutique in Hampstead once and she started saying, clipped-lipped, “Maybe Madam would be happier somewhere else?” and I decided to be a clueless American, and kept saying, “Oh, no, no, I’m perfectly happy here, I’d like to see this in a different color” and that was hilarious too, since she literally couldn’t think of anything other than to just repeat her opaque hinty upper-class phrase. I still have no idea what taboo I violated–asking for something in a different size, I think.

          • Teecha

            I think maybe you sound American? Might be enough for some snobby shops. Those snotty shop workers are awful. I love Edina in Abfab responding to one…
            https://youtu.be/8MogE1AjspQ

          • Jukesgrrl

            I’ve worked in retail in the US and dealt with equally snobby customers. Once I was explaining to a woman that the variety of prices in comforters was dependent on the type of fill that was in them (feathers, down, poly, etc.). She looked down her nose at me and said, “What do you know? You work in a department store.” Meanwhile, she had ASKED ME. I guess it was supposed to be a rhetorical question and I shocked her with my knowledge?

          • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

            Oh yes, that’s probably what it was!!

      • They did it on EastEnders several time recently, chatting on the Tube. If they do it there, then us British people definitely do it!

        One character is even now going to date someone she met on the Tube…

    • Teecha

      But you don’t *say* so on public transport. You travel on public transport as if you were alone, so that everyone else can do the same.

      • SweetDeeKat

        Well, yeah, but if someone is wearing metallic magenta platforms, I am going to gush.

  • sw19covfefe

    I can’t tell if Claude is a naive patsy, or playing the straight man/rhythm section in the duo.
    Nevertheless, anything you need to know about Louise Mensch – former, rather snidey, Conservative MP in the UK and Friend Of Milo – is out there.
    Maybe she suddenly saw the light re Trump – but it was a rather sudden conversion. And unlike, say, The Reagan Battalion or Ana Navarro, she doesn’t stick to – or show – her core conservative principles.

    • sw19covfefe

      Added for context: December 2016. Hardly damning with faint praise.
      https://youtu.be/Qg2B2BgWi8s?t=285

    • theblackdog

      I figure she’s chasing the money

      • SeeTrain65

        Best answer yet.

  • weezmgk

    It might be considered internecine if Mensch were a leftie, but somehow her gigs as a Tory MP, Murdoch employee & Milo fondler put the lie to even the wispiest claims of her southpawosity.

  • Verena Block

    I remember the ‘sealed indictments are coming this week’ post. From MANY weeks ago. She needs to stop, she has zero credibility.

    • I know a joke

      Basically none of her assertions have turned out to be accurate; like all cranks who crave attention, she’s just making cryptic guesses and waiting till something that vaguely resembles them comes to pass.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    OK, Great Britain can go fuck itself if I can’t compliment people’s shoes anymore. Goddamn. Americans inherit our classism from the UK, but at least we watered it down some.

    • I’m British and I have literally never hear of this shoe thing- it isn’t true. A compliment is just a compliment.

      • Me The People

        Me too – never heard of this shoe thing either.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Maybe it’s a class thing? Because shoes are definitely an old school northeastern upper class signifier.

          • sgt. jmk of the résistance

            Ooooh, ooooh… I’m not letting this opportunity to be pedantic roll past!
            *ahem*
            Shoes have been a signifier of class and financial status in England since medieval times as the phrases “down at heels,” “well-shod,” “on his uppers,” and “came into the world hosed and shod” reveal.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Also Captain Vimes’ boots.

          • sgt. jmk of the résistance

            INDEEDY!!!

    • ez

      Annie, nice…shoes you got there, hope they don’t get…scuffed.

  • Teecha

    I don’t really understand how Louise Mensch is suddenly being regarded as some sort of leftie journalist. She’s really not either.

    She also wrote a load of books, which I hate to call chicklit, because I hate that term, and also, I read a couple of them and they were bad. I thought this before she became an mp, and revealed her true self.

    Sometimes I wish Twitter had never been invented. And then I need to complain about some company or other, and its worth becomes apparent.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Interesting. It turns out Ms Mensch’s accuracy may be retroactive
    .
    https://twitter.com/th3j35t3r/status/871930378352816128

  • phoenix00

    Did Louise Mensch retweet her own tweet?

    That’s even more sad than upfisting your own non-comments. And we all know how sad that is.

    • Marceline

      Is it wrong I checked to see if you upfisted your own comment just for irony?

      • phoenix00

        If I did, it was accidental I swear!

  • Jo Mathie

    Lol being British there are some very strange societal rules, and they depend on the part of the country. I work in retail and get called “love”, “sweetie”, “your such a good girl” on a daily basis. Put a British person on public transport though then it’s do not make eye-contact, do not engage, determindly read a book or look out the window.

    • Relativicus

      What’s the deal with shoe compliments, though? Too personal for public comment? Used by Brits as a subtle dig? Déclassé?

      • Jo Mathie

        I honestly don’t know. Personally I wouldn’t mind and most people I know would just say “thanks”. Some people take everything as a veiled insult for some reason even if it wasn’t meant that way.

        • KillerMartinis

          It was less the shoes and more the “being on the tube” I think

      • WIDTAP

        It leads to indecent thoughts of a woman’s ankles, and she will NOT be objectified in that manner!

      • bubba
    • Marceline

      British public transport sounds like an introvert’s heaven.

    • blarg

      I once asked someone from what part of London they were from, since I had just been there and was curious if I had been there. They took it as an all-out assault to discover their socio-economic status. They were quite curt with me. I tried to apologize as a dumb America, but no. I guess class is a very touchy subject there. I don’t think they have that “poor kid made good” meme that we Americans cherish, even if it’s a lie in most cases.

  • I wouldn’t say this is ‘infighting,’ since Louise Mensch definitely is not on our side. She is a bigoted moronic nightmare, and she’s no feminist at all. One look at ‘Zelo Street’ posts shows that.

    • bardgal

      She’s definitely on the side of taking down Trump, Ryan, McConnell and their whole cabal. So…. who’s side would that make her on?

      • No. She’s on the side of Murdoch and against every known liberal cause. She trolling us. She’s simply a bigot.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    If they are sealed, how would ANYBODY know?

    • borninatrailer

      lol

      • bardgal

        LM has IC contacts, and so far pretty much everything she’s reported has been proven true.

        • Sean

          She was recently tweeting that Hatch was getting daily presidential briefings, because there was a massive RICO investigation & that trump, pence, and Ryan would be led away in handcuffs at any second. So maybe take her prognostications with a bushel of salt…

          • Petunia Cat

            Thank you. That’s most helpful with the Mench-reckoning. Mind you the scenario described would make a fantastic movie. 😊🍿 But then something super devastating would have to happen to Hatch. 🤔

  • what, me worry?

    Preet, like everyone, is a complicated dude.

    Sure, he was down with investigating Trump, so thumbs up for Preet.

    Then again, he also didn’t prosecute one motherfucking bankster after the worldwide financial crisis they caused.

    So, you know, your mileage may vary.

    • Perkniticky

      His wiki page says he prosecuted over 100 wall street execs, fined banks and closed hedge funds. But maybe you were looking for more – perhaps a pound of flesh from each ‘bankster’ would slake your thirst for revenge?

      • what, me worry?

        I think, when you crash the global economy by engaging in massive fraud, you should go to prison.

        I also think, anyone defending their right to buy their way out of trouble, using the money they gained through their illegal activities, is on the wrong side. But maybe that’s just me.

  • Boojum

    “interesting internecine internet” imbroglios!

  • harryeagar

    This Wonkette post is the first I’ve head about this bombshell. Didn’t have much legs, did it?

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