It is hard to imagine, at this point, that there are any damn people left in this country who think that Bill Cosby is not a rapist. Yet somehow, someway, some portion of the jury in the sexual assault case against him, were among those people.
On Saturday morning, Judge Steven O’Neill announced that the jury was hopelessly deadlocked in the sexual assault case against Cosby and declared a mistrial. Which is good in the way that Cosby will be tried again and prosecutors have said he will be tried again, but also bad in the way that we have to keep going through this shit. Shit which is made all the more exasperating by Bill Cosby himself doing Fat Albert impressions on his way out of court.
The jury deliberated the case for 52 hours and was unable to come to a conclusion either way, in the case in which Cosby was charged with three counts of aggravated indecent assault.
In case you are thinking “But Bill Cosby (allegedly) sexually assaulted SO MANY WOMEN! Which one was this?,” I will refresh your memory. The victim in this case was Andrea Constand, the former manager of the Temple University basketball team, who accused Cosby of drugging and molesting her at his Philadelphia home in 2004. As he is (allegedly) wont to do.
Camille Cosby, who is just the worst, really, issued a statement following the judge’s declaration, blaming lawyers and “the media” for her husband’s downfall:
“How do I describe the District Attorney? Heinously and exploitively ambitious. How do I describe the judge? Overtly and arrogantly collaborating with the District Attorney. How do I describe the counsels for the accusers? Totally unethical. How do I describe many, but not all, general media? Blatantly vicious entities that continually disseminated intentional omissions of truths for the primary purpose of greedily selling sensationalism at the expense of a human life.”
Oh, Camille. None of us enjoy this. Really! Speaking as someone in the media who has reported on your husbands proclivities for at least two years now, and as someone who knows a lot of other women in the media — I promise you that not a single one of us is particularly enthralled by having to report on the dozens of accusations against your husband. Because it’s actually really, really disturbing and upsetting. This is not a good time for us, but it is necessary, and that’s why we do it. If your husband hadn’t gone and drugged and assaulted dozens of women throughout his lifetime without ever being held accountable, we could all be writing about something else right now! Maybe something nice, about kittens, even — although in this political climate, it’s pretty rare. But trust me, literally no one is going around saying “Gee, I’m so glad Bill Cosby (allegedly) sexually assaulted a fuckton of women, so that we get to report on it!” Trust me, that is not a thing.
Sigh. If we have learned any one lesson this week, it is that JURIES ARE GARBAGE AND OUR JUSTICE SYSTEM IS FUCKED. Seriously.
If you feel at all badly for us in having to once again cover Bill Cosby being gross, drop some money into our coffer.