SHARE

OH HI WONKERS. So this week was very dumb, as all weeks in Trump World are. But we took moments this week to highlight two senators who are just kicking ass all over the place, and they are Kamala Harris and Martin Heinrich. And guess what? Both of their stories made the top ten list!

We will count all the stories down in just a minute, but first we must firmly yet politely ask for donations. See, we are 100% funded by you readers, and we have no ads, and we love it, and you love it, because they do not eat your browser. But we have to keep asking you to give us dollars and subscription moneys and things in order to make this system work. We explained all this in your monthly reminder post about how we need moneys, on a regular basis, to keep this place running without ads. Will you throw $5, $10, or $25 at our faces? Or we even take thousand dollar and million dollar donations, like if you are a secret famous celebrity fan of Wonkette! Seriously, if you are able — DO NOT MONEY US IF YOU CAN’T AFFORD IT — then pull out your wallet and sign up to throw money on our face every month! You can also pull out an envelope and stamp and send money to Wonkette, PO Box 8765, Missoula MT 59807. Whatever, just please support us any way you can.

Look, it’s the traditional Wonkette Baby Donation Pressure Lion Of Cuteness, who is a fan of Kamala Harris, Martin Heinrich, and also money donations:

YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW.
YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW

We shall now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

1. We never thought we’d actually see a literal blowjob in the White House, but that’s what Trump’s first cabinet meeting looked like.

2. Kamala Harris, you are a fucking BAD. ASS.

3. Did you miss the verrrrrrrry slow and drawling Jeff Sessions lie-fest at the Senate Intelligence Committee? Read our liveblog here!

4. Trump declared TOTAL VICTORY over James Comey, by threatening to file complaints and put them on his PERMANENT RECORD.

5. Dead Breitbart figured out a weird trick to make all its ad revenue disappear FOR GOOD.

6. Trey Gowdy will chair the House Oversight Committee, so hopefully he can finally solve the riddle of BENGHAZI!!!111!!!!

7. Uh oh, looks like Russians fucked with election systems in 39 STATES.

8. The author of the world’s most notorious racist internet comment has died, but it wasn’t from white genocide.

9. Martin Heinrich, senator of New Mexico, you are also a badass. But this post we wrote was actually just about how you are a smokin’ hot piece of man ass.

10. And finally, Aunt Nancy Pelosi has a hilarious story for you, about what a pussy Donald Trump is.

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!

Oh, hey, sign up for our newsletter RIGHT NOW DO IT DO IT DO IT:

You are very good. For following our orders, here are a couple more pictures of Wonkette Toddler Human person, one of which includes her cousin Dzho, whom she just met. They loved each other!

OK anyway have a good weekend goodbye.

Wonkette is fully funded by readers like YOU. If you love us, click below to fund us!

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Msgr_MΩment

    Wonket Girl gets to wear her shoes on the couch AND YOU DON’T. Live with it.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Butbutbut…

    • Interesting fact, did you know Nixon wore his shoes on the couch?

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiHN3IJ_j8A

      • therblig

        But if the cause be not good, the king himself hath
        a heavy reckoning to make, when all those legs and
        arms and heads, chopped off in battle, shall join
        together at the latter day and cry all ‘We died at
        such a place;’ some swearing, some crying for a
        surgeon, some upon their wives left poor behind
        them, some upon the debts they owe, some upon their
        children rawly left. I am afeard there are few die
        well that die in a battle; for how can they
        charitably dispose of any thing, when blood is their
        argument? Now, if these men do not die well, it
        will be a black matter for the king that led them to
        it; whom to disobey were against all proportion of
        subjection.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          *claps*

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Shakespeare was some radical commie freak!

          • Celtic_Gnome

            And he used his mouth better’n a twenty dollar whore.

        • Predisenting Ron

          Wow, pretty harsh reaction. I mean, you could have just asked them to take their shoes off.

          • therblig

            they can wear them on st. crispian’s day.

      • Caustic Elvisfellow

        Well, he wore his wingtips on the beach, leading some to speculate that they were surgically attached.

        • There was some concern. At least he wasn’t caught wearing crocs, with President socks.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Did he get two matching pairs, or did the front and back couch legs have different styles?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I could wear my shoes on the couch if the dog would allow me up there.

      • NastyBossetti

        Same.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Molly eats her supper at the table with linen and a knife and fork. I eat on my hands and knees out of the dog bowl.

          • NastyBossetti

            She sounds like a very classy lady who runs a tight ship.
            Gus operates under a strict move your feet, lose your seat policy. He also tries to slide in behind me, like I won’t notice a 65-lb dog pushing into my lower back.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I love when they pretend they’re really small and insignificant. Molly’s not really that way, but Drublic Jr’s dog Shadow has absolutely no spatial awareness….55 lbs of solid muscle and he thinks he a Pekinese or something. He gets up in the bed, and you are done for the night…immovable.

    • Babby Wonkette and her lil’ cousin pull it off whereas some WHO WILL REMAIN NAMELESS cannot.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ac59619faf40aaca1a0379bb0cecabeacedde671a19cf2db01e79aa146965f6a.jpg

      Cousins are great! They can sometimes give you a great alternate universe version of your childhood.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Why would you want to wear your filthy shoes on the couch? Icky.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    Good morning! And we’re off! I need moar coffee!

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Those are the most adorable children! What a great way to start the morning.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Has trump’s lawyer’s lawyer got a lawyer yet?

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      “Complaints have been lodged with the District of Columbia and New York City Bar Associations against President Donald Trump’s personal defense attorney Marc Kasowitz, calling for an investigation to determine if he has breached rules of professional conduct.

      Separate complaints were filed over the week against Kasowitz by the Campaign for Accountability, a nonprofit government watchdog organization, and by attorney Neil Goldfarb, a former board member of the American Civil Liberties Union. They both allege that Kasowitz may have inappropriately counseled other White House staffers while representing the president, raising conflict-of-interest concerns.

      In addition, the CAF complaint alleges that Kasowitz is not currently authorized to practice law in Washington, D.C.

      Mark Corallo, a spokesman for Kasowitz, dismissed the complaints in a statement to Law.com, calling them “obviously politically motivated” and “based on press reports, which were based on anonymous sources.”

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Mark Corallo, a spokesman for Kasowitz, dismissed the complaints in a statement to Law.com, calling them “obviously politically motivated” and “based on press reports, which were based on anonymous sources.”

        Well then he should be able to clean up his act, get authorization, defend himself honestly….

        hahahahahaha, I cannot keep a straight face.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Mr. Corallo apparently feels a need to compete with the Menendez brothers in the “greatest chootz-pah” competition.

      • Predisenting Ron

        ‘Politically motivated’ = ‘They caught us breaking the law. Unfair!’

      • Celtic_Gnome

        That would be, “Da!”

    • OddMan

      Not yet, but he is quite the asshole, see comment non-comment above or below.

      • ltmcdies

        at some point they will be hitting “peak lawyer”, will they

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      It’s an appropriately-named Russian nesting doll of lawyers at this point.

  • Rachel Book Harlot
  • Grumpy Twat

    They are adorable.
    I’m off to Bruges for a dirty weekend with Mrs Twat on the Eurostar in a bit.
    If the train doesn’t crash in the tunnel and we don’t get blown up, here or there, I’ll bring you some chocolate back.
    Which cakes are the ones everybody likes, again?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Bier. I want bier.

      • Grumpy Twat

        FFS! We’re only taking one bag!
        I’ll chuck Mrs Twat’s clothes out to make room.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Plus, you and Mrs. Twat were probably planning on doing something other than hanging out with the Trappists all weekend.

          • Grumpy Twat

            She was. I’m saying nowt.

        • OutOfOrbit

          Are you a grumpy twat too?!

          • Grumpy Twat

            Hell, yeah!

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Come to my house.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          What time?

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            A month and a half from this afternoon. This Belgian-type thing I’m making should be ready by then.

            ETA: not that there isn’t anything in the fridge right now.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I’m so there. What variety are you brewing?

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            I’m doing an extract batch with wildflower honey, a little wheat malt, and Belgian ale yeast. Single fermentation.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Nice. Sounds like you know your business. I’m heavily into Belgian beer.

          • eggs ackly-wright

            Hoegaarden Grand Cru. Yum.

    • Nounverb911
    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Make pictures if you see midgets!

      • Grumpy Twat

        If I see midgets I will piss myself!

        If anyone doesn’t understand this reference, watch “In Bruges”. Just for once I am not being gratuitously offensive.

        • Grumpy Twat

          And then I’ll film them, obviously.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        That’s the movie that really brought me around on Colin Farrell.

      • eggs ackly-wright

        The correct term is dwarve.

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          Was an “In Bruges” reference.

          • eggs ackly-wright

            Wonderful movie. Been so long since I’ve seen it, I forgot about that. Olde, memory failing.

    • OddMan

      AOT,K
      of course.

    • Predisenting Ron

      <= jealous pony

    • Villago Delenda Est

      /shakefist you probably got to eat fresh croissants for breakfast too.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Also, see if you can get some cedar cheese.

      • Predisenting Ron

        Doesn’t that come from Lebanon?

        • Covfefe

          Silly Ron. Cheddar cheese comes from Wisconsin.

          • Predisenting Ron

            But we were talking about CEDAR cheese. Plus, cheddar cheese comes from Ontario. The Wisconsin stuff is sort of a cheap knock-off. I’m a little surprised Wisconsin doesn’t just buy it from China.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Some of those delicious waffles.

  • Nounverb911
    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      pffft, the rest of america has to buy their guns. These grifty bastards.

    • OutOfOrbit

      In view of Gun Safety Fails (on the right) I would really encourage arming every republican in the Bleltway—a quick attrition of their majority would surely occur.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The answer is always more guns. And more work for first responders, as a wonderful side effect.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Got a gun problem…gun harder!

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Riiiiight. The answer is that everyone has to carry a gun, not that no one should.

      • Les Appentis De la résistance

        Especially when playing sportsball.

    • Predisenting Ron

      Hey, Congresspeople? ‘Order 66.’ Keep that in mind if and when your staff starts packing.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Remember states sovereignty and all that jazz?

    “The Trump administration is backing off its threat to revoke California’s unique authority to set its own tough pollution standards for cars and trucks — rules that have become a crucial tool for states to combat climate change without help from Washington.

    Environmental Protection Agency Administrator Scott Pruitt assured lawmakers on Thursday that his agency is not currently looking to take away the power that California has used for decades to reduce emissions that cause smog and heat up the planet.”

    Earlier this year, Pruitt had suggested that the Trump administration might try to weaken or revoke California’s authority, which would have put Washington on a collision course with the state over a crucial environmental issue.

    But asked about the subject Thursday at a House hearing on the EPA’s budget, Pruitt struck a very different tone, praising California for “leadership” on clean air.

    “Currently the waiver is not under review,” Pruitt said, referring to the legal rubric under which the state is allowed to waive federal rules and impose its own. “This has been something that has been granted going back to the beginning of the Clean Air Act because of the leadership California demonstrated.”

    Bill Magavern, policy director for the Los Angeles-based Coalition for Clean Air, said the testimony was “a rare bit of good news out of the Trump administration.”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “State’s Rights” didn’t exist when it came to enforcing the Federal Fugitive Slave Act back in the 19th Century, either.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i’m reading a legal history of my area – what a clusterfuck that era was. They essentially had no rule of law or local government for 5 years.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        We’ll that was to enforce our Constitutional right to own slaves and other free people who looked similar and were caught by the slave hunters.

    • Yeah but look at the language. Currently not under review. Currently. As soon as they can figure out a way to make it look legal enough…….

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          You are free to be an asshole … and I’m free to call you one.

          • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

            Yes, but my freedom must extend to forcing you to breath the chemicals I place in the air, because: reasons and shit.

          • Predisenting Ron

            The pro-smoking lobby had that exact same argument.

          • therblig

            you know who also wants to be free?

            valve stems.

            always carry the pliers of freedom.

          • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

            LOL!!!!!!!

          • Predisenting Ron

            Or the valve stem removal tool of liberty.

          • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

            “The Tree O’Liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the air from the truck tires of patriots.”

            -Thomas Jefferson

          • eggs ackly-wright

            The crankshaft of freedom is driven by manifold destiny.

          • Querolous

            These puns are exhausting.

          • therblig

            Ford’s in his flivver. All’s right with the world.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        from what i saw (i skimmed), it may have been one of those things where they were talking about it and were shocked at the reaction.

      • Lefty Wright

        I think the Trump administration may be preoccupied with other matters for the remainder of his time as president. However long that may be.

    • Predisenting Ron

      Looks to me like Pruitt’s trying to bluff with no cards.

      • Covfefe

        We in the US have responsible government. Pruitt’s cards come from the Supremacy Clause of the US Constitution and the preemption doctrine

        • Left Coast Tom

          California’s cards come from the words of the Clean Air Act which allows CA to set higher standards while allowing other states to choose between Federal and CA rules.

          • Covfefe

            The problem with California is that it’s has 53 of the 435 members of the US House of Representatives. A state with that kind of a base can, if their reps stick together, can exercise a virtual veto over federal legislation.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            So, kind of like the Freedom Caucus, only on the left.

    • Jamoche

      Donnie’s still stuck in the 70s, when game shows would give away cars and include “with California emissions” in the feature list and carmakers would distinguish between “50 state” and “49 state” cars. Now there are a dozen states with the same requirement, even though it’s still called “California emissions” on the label.

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    Krugman Twitter thread on Senate (R) healthcare bill secrecy.

    https://twitter.com/paulkrugman/status/876084603991322624

  • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

    OT: I notice he’s not really worried about the Mexican Christians!

    https://twitter.com/washingtonpost/status/876049060108611584

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      He doesn’t consider Catholics Christians, most likely.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      That would be “Catholics”….papist antichrists to the good Rev.

    • nightmoth

      Hey, Frankie, you endorsed him. Bite it!

    • Yes. Disturbing. That is the word.
      What about all the hispanic chirsitans they have been rounding up?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Mexicans aren’t Christians. They’re Catholics.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        tell that the big creepy mega church we have here. ; )

        It’s pne of those places whose congregants all feel the need to have a sticker in their car window telling us where they worship, has a billboard that advertises its weird programs, one that has its own school.

        Creepy.

        • Covfefe

          Religion is the ultimate intangible. Don’t criticize someone’s marketing program unless you can do better.

        • Catholic mega church?
          That is creepy. Grunt.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            no it’s a christian mega church.

            Although, we have a huge, old catholic church here.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Matthew 6:5 is unknown to these people.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      To be fair, Mexican Christians aren’t under threat of death just for being Christians…of course there are Latin American refugees, including little kids, who are in serious danger if deported.

      • This is true. However, it is weird how he picks and chooses which christians to be concerned about all the same.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          I’m not in favor of mass deportations of anyone…but I do see a difference in the situations. And Iraqi Christians are mostly Chaldean Catholics, they aren’t protestants either.

          If you want to be cynical about it, the reason that Evangelicals care so much about Middle Eastern Christians is they love the idea that Christians are persecuted everywhere, but they have to go to the Middle East to find actual persecution (see also, South Sudan).

          • I guess it is cynical, but only if you don’t know Jerry. I think for him it is totally fair to second guess every motivation he portrays and every word out of his mouth.
            Notice: He did not have a shit ton of concern for the 9 Christians persecuted in Charleston either, and they were most certainly persecuted for being Christians. Black ones, but still.

    • The Wanderer

      Fuck Franklin Graham.

      • Jerry Jr. He’s got no identity not his papa’s

      • Predisenting Ron

        Not even with Donnie’s syphilitic dick.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Also, too, in love with Donna Rose!

    • Predisenting Ron

      She’s even better in person! WAY too self-assured to only be two!

  • Nounverb911
    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      That picture needs more pissing lemur.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        right in the ear, little lemur.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Well there is the scarecrow.

    • therblig

      that lemur could spray diarrhea all over the camera lens and it still wouldn’t be the most disgusting thing in that picture.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Of the many, many literal blow jobs recorded on video, a certain lack of …shall we say sincerity? is not uncommon. But even so it’s hard to find as unfeeling and robotic a performance as the Trump Cabinet meeting….

  • ZangoCrudmonger
  • OddMan

    Our Dear Lord Dampnut™ has yet another lawyer, he seems cut from the same cloth as the rest.

    https://twitter.com/peterlattman/status/876076718766919681

    • Predisenting Ron

      He seems nice.

    • Stulexington

      That could have gone better.

    • Did Preet win that trial? Curious if the jury was actually impressed

      • bupkus231

        From Wiki:

        “…on May 11, 2011 was found guilty on all 14 counts of conspiracy and securities fraud. On October 13, 2011, Rajaratnam was sentenced to 11 years in prison and fined a criminal and civil penalty of over $150 million combined.

        As of February, 2017, Rajaratnam is incarcerated at Federal Medical Center, Devens in Ayer, Massachusetts, an administrative facility housing male offenders requiring specialized or long-term medical or mental health care. Rajaratnam’s release date is July 4, 2021….”

        • Huh. So…..the jury WAS impressed.

          • bupkus231

            It’s hard to say if the behavior that Dowd objected to had any impact on the case.

            I found the apparent source of Lattman’s excerpt – it appears to be this piece, from George Packer at “The New Yorker”, Jun 27, 2011 issue:

            Link: http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2011/06/27/a-dirty-business

            It’s a lengthy “dual profile” of both Preet Bharara and Raj Rajaratnam in the trial – but also has a lot of goodies about John Dowd:

            Rajaratnam retained the defense attorney John Dowd, from the Washington law firm Akin Gump. The choice was surprising. Dowd, who had represented Senator John McCain in the Keating Five case and led Major League Baseball’s investigation of Pete Rose’s gambling, wasn’t a New York criminal defender, and, at seventy years old, he would be appearing at his last big trial. But Dowd was known for fighting rather than bargaining, and Rajaratnam liked that. …

            Also, the beginning of the para that Lattman excerpted:

            Throughout the trial, John Dowd seemed like a great aging elephant, slow and ponderous but still capable of inflicting damage. He took extreme dislikes: to Kumar, whom he accused of being the biggest liar in the history of the Southern District federal courthouse; to Reed Brodsky, the prosecutor, whom he mocked as a crybaby….

            So, this is the guy Rump just hired….

          • Covfefe

            Judge also too. That’s the longest sentence ever given in a securities fraud case.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Well that’s…incoherent.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Fits right in.

  • Nounverb911
    • TJ Barke

      Because her opinion should be the deciding factor…

      • Villago Delenda Est

        I reach for my vote when someone like this comes along.

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          The only thing between life and death is a GOOD GUY with a vote.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          I’ve found that a good-fitting pair of brass knuckles complements my vote nicely.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      “Because I say so” is not a rational decision.

      • Predisenting Ron

        It is if you’re ten.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Or a parent of a ten year old :-)

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        does that count as a tautology? (I’m still confused by that discussion yesterday).

        Or is it just circular reasoning.

      • therblig

        says who?

      • David Chaillou

        Isn’t she saying the contrary?
        I haven’t watched the video, but I would assume “Because I don’t” = your question is based on a false assumption.

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          No, she really believes that LGBTs don’t have the same rights because her religion overrides all.

          • David Chaillou

            Ok.

    • Predisenting Ron

      ‘Because if I give the real reason, “Because I think they’re icky and God hates them,” People get SO judgey.’

      • OutOfOrbit

        OLD people having sex is also icky, but is anybody against it?

        • OddMan

          It’s not icky, sometimes we just forget how.
          And then there is the BenGay afterword, that gets icky.

          • therblig

            god forbid you mix up the bengay with the ky. you never live it down.

          • OutOfOrbit

            Nor ever get over it.

        • Canned Covfefe

          Is NOT!

        • TJ Barke

          Emphatically!

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          As an old, single person, I would like to test this theory.

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        Why are you being intolerant of their intolerance!1!!

    • Latverian Diplomat

      What’s the point of having second class citizens if you can’t treat them like second class citizens…

    • Georgia…..
      For serious real. You have a job to do. Do it right the first time.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        Democrat Jon Ossoff and Republican Karen Handel are locked in a dead heat in Georgia’s 6th District race, according to a WSB-TV poll released ahead of next week’s nationally-watched vote.

        The poll conducted by Landmark Communications has Ossoff leading Handel 50-48, within the poll’s 3.5 percent margin of error. It’s the latest in a string of polls that shows Ossoff with a narrow edge in the race – and Handel within striking distance. Just 2 percent of voters are undecided.

        It reflects many of the trends exposed in other polls: Ossoff leads Handel by double-digits among women, Handel has a commanding advantage with male voters. The Republican polls better with voters over 65 – the age bracket most likely to vote – and Ossoff thrives with younger residents.

        Almost as important to his campaign, the poll shows roughly 15 percent of Republican voters backs Ossoff. The Democrat can’t win the conservative-leaning district without wooing a chunk of the GOP electorate.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      A three year old could come up with a better response than that.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Keep digging that hole, Kare. Oh, and Georgia 6? GET OUT THERE AND VOTE FOR GOD’S SAKE.

    • Lori

      Woah, that is deep. /s

      I understand why she doesn’t want to discuss her actual “logic” (because it is stooopid) but you’d think she could have come up with a better non-answer than that.

  • Rachel Book Harlot
    • alwayspunkindrublic

      It was always going to come to this once they went after Barney and Spongebob.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        Teletubbies on line 2 for you sir.

        • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

          I like the gay one.

          • Predisenting Ron

            Uh, oh!

          • Canned Covfefe

            I heard that in their voices. I don’t even have kids.

    • Once again….how is this different than blaming an anti muslim movie on the uprising in Libya?

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i read some jackass rushed the stage last night. And another was yelling from the stands.

      Are they going to have to start patting people down when they go to see Shakespeare in the effing Park?

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        Yeah, she was some nutjob blogger from an alt-right group called Rebel or some such idiocy. She was yelling about how “they” want to kill Donald Trump and NYPD officers:

        “Ms. Loomer describes herself as a “a right-wing investigative journalist and activist” who has previously worked with James O’Keefe, the conservative activist known for selectively edited undercover video investigations.”

        https://www.nytimes.com/2017/06/17/theater/julius-caesar-central-park-trump-protesters.html?_r=0

        • Red Bird Ω

          It would amazing if these people manage to make even Shakespare a symbol of liberalism.

          • vivian

            Shakespeare’s work was written in books, ergo, elitist left-wing libtard communism. If he had just stuck with drawing pictures, none of this would have happened.

        • Covfefe

          Funny, I thougt Shakespeare is an example of someone who’s done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more.

        • Lori

          If figures she’s one of O’Keefe’s toadies.

      • georgiaburning

        Don’t you dare do Richard III in modern dress

    • bupkus231

      Just illustrates, once again, how hateful and stoopid many righties are….

    • TJ Barke
      • Rachel Book Harlot

        They really are the dumbest humans, aren’t they.

      • Canned Covfefe

        Well done, TJ.

        • TJ Barke

          It’s so appropriate so often…

          • vivian

            Is it Command-Option-F3?

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      Hardly surprising, really – it’s how they think. To them all black people are lazy, all Latinos illegals, all Muslims terrorists, all Jews money-grubbing thieves and all democrats godless heathens.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Ooh! The new Freedom Fries!

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    AWWWWWW! I always appreciate the Toddler Human Person photos. You make my week with these. I wish I could show you some photos of my adorable niece Stella, you’d get a kick out of them.

    • Predisenting Ron

      Worth noting that DR no longer toddles. She runs now. And climbs.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Very worth noting.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Dzho is an awesome name, and mommy is very brave to sacrifice her beautiful pashmina on the altar of princess time.

  • ZangoCrudmonger

    The first picture of Donna Rose needs to come with a trigger warning…for…all….that…..yard work begging to be done!!! I was traumatized as a child by being required to mow the lawn and other horrible yard work every Saturday, which cut into serious fucking off time.
    Seeing as how today, too, is Saturday, the picture gave me some horrible flashbacks, and I gauged the hours to fix that shit in the picture to be at least half the day. The horror!
    Anyways, kid looks great! I am not mowing the lawn today as I’ve done enough chores already and plan on heading to the garden shop in search of some Jack’s fertilizer, as I’ve heard it’s a good cheap feed for the devil’s lettuce. Go Oregon!

    • Paul

      What’s the proper NPK breakdown on the good lettuce fertilizer? I looked at their products and they make several. What numbers are best?

      • ZangoCrudmonger

        In veg use the Jack’s Classic All Purpose 20-20-20, and when in flower use the Blossom Booster 10-30-20, from what I’ve found on the interwebs. I’ve been looking for an economic alternative for the high end fertilizers at the grow shops. I’m hoping to find a local dealer instead of yank it off Amazon.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Dr. Earth Home Grown Organic or Job’s Organic (harder to find) are my go- tos. Once at sprouting, once at planting, once mid-season. Side dress every coupla weeks with chicken shit compost.

      • VirginiaLady

        Look for one with a higher N. You want fast leaf growth and that’s nitrogen. Add some blood meal and bone meal because they like both. Or just plant them over the body…

    • Kiri the Unicorn
  • CogitoErgoBibo

    The Donna Rose Donation Pressure Lion Of Cuteness will never get old, even when Donna Rose herself is old enough to join us in the snarky non-comments.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Which, at the rate she’s going, will be in about two years.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      I look forward to embarrassing her with a lot of “I remember when”-isms.

      I am a non-creepy uncle, have been for thirty years. I’ve ad a lot of practice with those.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I’m sure HRH Donna Rose will be too busy at some Great Work to slum with us Oldz. :)

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    From NYTimes, so pro-trump a bit (it actually sounds like a complicated issue, but I don’t see how less oversight is better):

    “The Department of Education is scaling back investigations into civil rights violations at the nation’s public schools and universities, easing off mandates imposed by the Obama administration that the new leadership says have bogged down the agency.

    According to an internal memo issued by Candice E. Jackson, the acting head of the department’s office for civil rights, requirements that investigators broaden their inquiries to identify systemic issues and whole classes of victims will be scaled back. Also, regional offices will no longer be required to alert department officials in Washington of all highly sensitive complaints on issues such as the disproportionate disciplining of minority students and the mishandling of sexual assaults on college campuses.

    The new directives are the first steps taken under Education Secretary Betsy DeVos to reshape her agency’s approach to civil rights enforcement, which was bolstered while President Barack Obama was in office. The efforts during Mr. Obama’s administration resulted in far-reaching investigations and resolutions that required schools and colleges to overhaul policies addressing a number of civil rights concerns.”

    But civil rights leaders believe that the new directives will have the opposite effect. They say that Education Department staff members would be discouraged from opening cases and that investigations could be weakened because efficiency would take priority over thoroughness.

    “If we want to have assembly-line justice, and I say ‘justice’ in quotes, then that’s the direction that we should go,” said Catherine Lhamon, who was the assistant secretary of the Education Department’s civil rights office under Mr. Obama, and who now heads the United States Commission on Civil Rights.

    • Makes sense. If an agency is bogged down, don’t hire more people, just scale back what they do

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Makes perfect sense if you want to not do what the agency is charged to do, because reasons.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Ah, so back to the “good old days” where Title IX and OCR compliance officers can be ignored in the name of “protecting the university” (see: BYU) or “protecting football” (see: FSU, Baylor, et al).

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        and Penn State!

    • jaspersdad

      Not only the education dept, I read this yesterday on C&L.

      http://crooksandliars.com/2017/06/trump-administration-quietly-rolls-back

  • OddMan

    OT
    Mockingbirds are wonderful.
    I am sitting out on our little front deck before this heat wave kicks in and there are two mocking birds perched atop trees that are having a battle of the birds with song. Amazing, I can also hear other mockingbirds in the distance.
    Go outside and enjoy this fine weekend if you can.
    https://www.nwf.org/News-and-Magazines/National-Wildlife/Birds/Archives/1992/Listen-to-the-Mockingbird.aspx

    • Predisenting Ron

      I was. The air already feels like it escaped from a double boiler. At least the digging’s done, now I just need to screen a quarter ton of crushed rock and clay. and shovel it BACK into the hole. Yay.

      • ZangoCrudmonger

        Some sort of drain field you are making here?

        • Predisenting Ron

          A water feature for my garden, using an old steel wheelbarrow tub for the liner. Hole’s dug, now I need to refill it with sifted earth and brick for support. Then cap with pea gravel to hide the edge. And then install the solar-powered pump and fill with water. Oughta be done this weekend.

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            Nice. I’m jealous.

          • Marion in Savannah

            Pix please when you’re done. It sounds wonderful.

          • Canned Covfefe

            Cool!

          • House0fTheBlueLights

            Talk to me about solar powered pump. Does it have battery storage or does actual sun need to be on it? I wanted to do a water feature in my new garden but there’s no electric. Looked like the sp wouldn’t work bc nighttime?

          • Predisenting Ron

            There’s enough battery storage to keep it running for 8 hours on a full charge – if one substituted better batteries than the 800mAh NiMh AAs you could extend that. It’s not very powerful, only 37gph and 450 mm lift, but it’s good enough to keep the water moving and keep the mosquitoes down.
            I got it at Princess Auto in London but I’m thinking you should be able to find them around.

          • House0fTheBlueLights

            I’m only circulating about 15 gallons (water feature is an old tin laundry tub) so that would definitely do it!

          • Predisenting Ron

            Heh, that’s what I’d originally wanted to use, but I could never find a free one. And now I’m curious about how you’re using it!

          • House0fTheBlueLights

            Fill it with water, water hydrangeas, some potted inchplants on stands so their feet are in the water, and that small pump. I sink the tub a little into the ground. It looks really pretty.

          • VirginiaLady

            Darn, was hoping you were doing archeology, but water gardens are nice too. Oh, if you find a very valuable gold and jeweled item it’s mine. I dropped it there years ago.

          • Predisenting Ron

            There’s archaeology involved too. I’ve dug up any amount of old cutlery, old bottles, pieces of broken crockery, even a few lumps of coal.
            I’ll keep an eye out for your item. Does it look anything like the one I dug up in 2011?

          • VirginiaLady

            Now yur talkin! How recent are the bottles and such? Any idea if you’re digging in an old rubbish heap from a private home? I love finding treasures from the past like that. What expensive old gold item did you discover? I’ve never found anything like that, but I just know there’s a neat find with my name on it out there, and one day….
            In the meantime I got lots of projectile points. I enjoy the hunt!

          • Predisenting Ron

            Near as I can tell it’s all from the 20s or thereabouts – the house is 125 years old – and it’s everywhere I dig so it’s the usual pre-environmental ‘toss it out back’ stuff. Some might have been damaged on site – the bottle glass I find is invariably concentrated in specific spots. Haven’t found anything if interest in a while, so the junk gets tossed to the back of the ‘mountain’ under the apple tree. Where someone ELSE will probably dig it up in 100 years.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Coal? You discovered coal on your land? Are your kinfolk urging you to move to Beverlee?

            Hills, that is. Swimming pools. Movie stars.

      • Canned Covfefe

        Nothing to do with dead bodies, right?!

        • AJ Milne

          Of course not.

          The bodies went in yesterday.

        • Predisenting Ron

          Nah, that’s over by the… uh, no, I mean… no.

          • My your roses look lovely! What do you use?

          • House0fTheBlueLights

            Dead bodies make great fertilizer. I, uh, hear. Like, I read that on the internet. Or, um. somewhere.

            nm…

          • Canned Covfefe

            Like bone meal for bulbs?

    • Mockingbirds are absolutely fearless. They can take a dislike to a cat, dog, person, etc and mercilessly harass them. When you see a cute news story about a bird attacking pedestrians it’s probably a mockingbird with a nest nearby.

      I love those courageous little creatures.

      • OddMan

        We also have California Scrub Jays, whose color “combines deep azure blue, clean white underparts, and soft gray-brown.”
        They are also feisty and love peanuts, I feed them and they take the nuts and hid them all over. Then they spend half an hour rearranging all their hidden spoils.
        https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/California_Scrub-Jay/id

        I got a bird brain today.

      • SayItWithWookies

        A mockingbird last spring decided my cat was a menace, and raised the alarm every time she went out the front door — to a point where a couple of times I’d open the door, cat would step out, the bird would land on a nearby branch and immediately start shrieking, and cat would turn around and slink back inside. It stopped after nesting season, fortunately.

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      Forecast for today is 99, but there’s a free movie in the park tonight (Jungle Book).

      • Bec Jenn

        Forecast for today is 109 with expected temps to rise to 120 by Tuesday. Blech, this is the price for having such nice winters. We do have mockingbirds and they are wonderful. We have a lot of quail(Gambel’s) in our backyard.

        • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

          Do you live in AZ? It’s supposed to reach 104 in ABQ this week. I feel sick when it gets over 90 and hate not being able to be outside in the summer when it’s so hot. The city holds the heat in, too, so it barely cools down in the evening like it should in the desert.

          • Bec Jenn

            Yup, yup, yup. I’m fine with 90’s but it’s when it’s in the 110’s that it gets just horrid. Above 115 is like living in Satan’s taint.

    • vivian

      I used to live in East Midtown Manhattan. There was a large shared backyard on my block, something of a rarity in those parts. One year a mockingbird showed up. Damned if he didn’t start doing car alarm sounds. I was amazed. He’d cycle through all the different car alarms, stop to catch his breath and do it all over again. By the fourth hour my amazement at the wonders of nature had turned to noteworthy irritation. Imagine being stuck next to a car alarm going off for four hours. He left after a couple of weeks and a measure of comparative quietude was restored. Next year, right on schedule…

      • OddMan

        Mockingbirds can be funny, we had one at another house that learned the buzzing sound the dryer made when the clothes were dry. Damn thing sounded just like it.

        • Canned Covfefe

          Our cat birds have been very vocal of late. I’ve asked my feline companion if she would kindly have a word with them. Apparently it’s a different dialect.

        • Morrigan in Oregon

          back in the day we had a cockatiel that went
          ” Beep-boop-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip. Creee-yaaaaaa-bzzzzzzz-zowwwww.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      You can always tell what other birds they’ve been hanging out with.

    • Persistent Demme

      Where I used to live, the mockingbirds imitated microwaves.
      (A little startling at first, but funny.)

    • eyelashviper

      The crows here (north central Floriduh) are also great mimics. I was out in my pasture, near the barn, and heard a turkey from very high up in a huge oak, and looked up to see a crow making turkey noises. They also mimic the neighbor’s tractor, which can be annoying early in the am.
      Birds are wonderful critters, and I swear many have a sense of humor.

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      Do mocking birds live in urban areas? What if they started imitating the bird like noises the ‘ok to cross’ signs make for blind people in cities? There could be a lot of injured blind people.

      • OddMan

        I don’t know about that one, it does pose an interesting question for lawyers to think about. Who would you sue if this happened? The designer of the alarm that should have made it so it could not be mimicked by birds? The city for not thinking of this?
        Lived with a lawyer for too long.

      • Bad Tom

        Yes.
        ——-
        I know because we live in Boston, and also have mockingbirds in our yard. Down in Oak Square there are OK to Cross lights. Hmmm.

    • Yr. Gma

      The neighbor’s cat was in my yard one day when a mockingbird dive-bombed it. I guess there was a nest nearby. Anyway, that bird kept attacking that cat until it left the yard.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        My mum gets a lot of hawks behind her house, and I have seen teeny little birds go into military maneuvers when one goes too close to a nest.

    • Marion in Savannah

      The mockingbirds in my area have learned to sound just like cats. Drives my cats and me nuts!

    • thewalkindude

      Another reason Australia is way cooler than us-the lyrebird
      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=C0ZffIh0-NA

    • nightmoth

      I had a nest of mockingbirds fledge about 2 weeks ago and the little buggers are still following their parents around the yard cheeping very, very loudly for food.

  • La forza del resistino

    Pics of the ever adorbs DR coupled with a linky to Trey Gowdy’s face in the same post.
    I had to google dichotomy to get the spelling right.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      I always get Gowdy and Cotton confused. Which one the pinhead and which one is the pencil-neck geek?

      • La forza del resistino

        One resembles Anthony Perkins. The other a reject from Jim Henson’s cast of muppet auditions.

      • miss_grundy

        Both of them have the same attributes. But as I was watching the Southern racist Keebler Elf testify I noticed that Cotton really has a pencil neck. Oh, and he is a dick.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    I really, really wish that on some things, Donnie Two-Scoops would just keep his weeping anus of a mouth shut about.

    He FINALLY acknowledged the USS Fitzgerald. He couldn’t be bothered to do so last night because he was too busy fellating Hannity. He has appointed NO Secretary of the Navy. Yet the right-wingers still want Benghazi investigated?

    Is Donnie-boy not MORE culpable in this than Hillary Clinton could ever be over Benghazi?

    • Silly Jack, you are only culpable if you are a Democrat. If you are a Republican, it is God’s will or somebody else’s fault

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        The party of personal responsibility.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        One of my favorite lines in M*A*S*H, the movie:

        “Every time a patient croaks, it’s ‘God’s will’ or somebody else’s fault.”

        Frank Burns was the first filmed depiction of the modern conservative I saw in my entire life.

        • Clark_Nova

          You didn’t see Elmer Gantry?

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        If you are a Republican, it is God’s will or somebody else’s the Democrats’ fault.

        ftfy

    • Bemused Australian

      It’s the evil liberal congress with a republican majority who won’t confirm his pick for Navy Secretary that hasn’t been submitted to them.

      Or something.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Maybe if he would submit someone who isn’t balls-deep into every financial institution on the planet he’d get somewhere.
        (Though the guy he nominated this time actually has served in the Marine Corps, so he might know a little about the Navy. The last guy he picked was an Army guy who probably only has seen ships in pictures.)

      • Lori

        Wasn’t Donnie’s pick for Navy Sec one of the people who withdrew from consideration because he didn’t want to comply with the disclosure rules? (It’s so hard to keep up.) If that’s the case then the lack of a Navy Sec is clearly the Dem’s fault for not giving him a pass on complying with the ethics regulations. If they had just taken Donnie’s word for it that he was a good guy none of this would have happened.

        ETA: I dug around and found that my memory was close. Trump’s nominee would have had to divest a bunch of assets in order to comply with ethics rules and he chose not to do that.

        That was in February and still no sign of another nominee.

        • Bad Tom

          SECNAV is just not as high on Trump’s priority list as his many golfing weekends.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      I was wondering yesterday how much of this incident, if any, could be contributed to Drumpf’s administration.

      Then I started worrying I might be gettting Trump derangement syndrome.

      THere’s plenty of real things to criticize him for, I don’t want to start making them up.

      (But seriously, what are the chances this is Trump & Co.’s fault?)

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Well, it’s at least neglectful on the part of this administration that there is no ambassador and there is no Secretary. It’s hard not to see culpability there.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        I don’t think the accident is his fault (ships collide a lot, probably someone turned the wrong way). I think the fact that we have no one that can handle the crisis (we have no SECNAV and no Ambassador to Japan), however, is his fault.

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          ^^ That’s what I mean ^^.

          It seems more “fault” than Benghazi was Sec. Clinton’s “fault”. I am often wrong, though.

        • AJ Milne

          … and this is relatively small, on the scale of things could go wrong and might need competent people in place…

          … and there’s a lot of other positions unfilled.

          The man was never qualified. He and his sycophants will probably try to argue oh, gummint was overstaffed anyway. And as if. And this somehow in the same breath as well he’s new at this, and hardly after saying hey, he just needs some experienced people around him. Their chin music and excuses aside, this is a recipe for chaos, indecision, and poor decisions, and especially in response to any real crisis situation.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Imagine the smirk on a Chinese diplomat’s face when our traditional allies in Asia mention or realize that we don’t even have a SECNAV right now.

            Donnie Two-Scoops and his Torpedoes have *finished* the USA as a world power. It’s over.

      • Jamoche

        The incident isn’t but the reaction is.

  • ken_kukec

    John McCain, for one, and Richard Burr, for another, don’t seem to appreciate a sister asking pointed questions of Republican appointees.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Damn uppity broads.

      • Marion in Savannah

        I know — and still they persisted.

    • miss_grundy

      Kamala should have slapped him in the cloak room.

  • Bemused Australian

    The song never ends.

    https://youtu.be/HNTxr2NJHa0

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      You. Did. This. You invoked the ear worm that ends all ear worms. Chthulhu will punish you.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I consider myself warmed. Thank you.

        • Bemused Australian

          Be as warned as you like, there is no escape.

  • The Wanderer
    • Marion in Savannah

      What on earth is that?

      • The Wanderer

        Steak, with cheesy potatoes.

        • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

          Steak-ish?

          • eggs ackly-wright

            A fistful of gristle.

          • The Wanderer

            Very little, actually.

          • The Wanderer

            No, a very good steak, grilled and seasoned. Rare.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        Deep-fried road-kill squirrel.

    • Bemused Australian

      Why would someone deep fry Dick Cheney’s heart like that?

      • The Wanderer

        LOL

      • Canned Covfefe

        To feed it to the wolves?

        • Marion in Savannah

          What have you got against wolves?

          • Canned Covfefe

            You’re right, my bad.

      • Les Appentis De la résistance

        He didn’t need it any more.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        He has a heart? Who knew?

        • Bemused Australian

          Something has to shrivel up when he shoots his friends in the face.

        • Clark_Nova

          Harvested from a live 6 year old girl, if I recall correctly.

      • vivian

        I thought his heart was a mechanical device… like an old Navy sump-pump or something.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Beautifully rare! :D

      • The Wanderer

        The way I like it!

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Excellent. We shall have to steak together some day. I’ll break my “no Red meat” diet for lovely Rare steak.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Nice! Very, very nice! Is that coleslaw as well?

  • Jamoche

    http://www.sfgate.com/business/article/Amazon-has-a-patent-to-keep-you-from-11225265.php
    I can see no way in which this can end badly:

    Amazon was awarded a patent on May 30 that could help it choke off a common issue faced by many physical stores: Customers’ use of smartphones to compare prices even as they walk around a shop.

    When that happens, Amazon may take one of several actions. It may block access to the competitor’s site, preventing customers from viewing comparable products from rivals. It might redirect the customer to Amazon’s own site or to other, Amazon-approved sites. It might notify an Amazon salesperson to approach the customer. Or it might send the customer’s smartphone a text message, coupon or other information designed to lure the person back into Amazon’s orbit.

    I’ve walked out of stores for less.

    • eggs ackly-wright

      Amazon can DIAF. The Seattle I grew up in is ded.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      It applies to the free store wifi. I have a data plan and so give a shit. Besides, who goes to WF if you’re price comparing?

      • Jamoche

        That’s the thing – I’ve checked products out online in stores to compare to other things in the store or see reviews, but if you’re going to compare prices, do so before you drive around – the savings generally aren’t worth the gas you’ve already spent.

        Also, WF is just the start. Amazon wants to get into the bricks and mortar business, now that they’ve killed off all the competition. (And WF isn’t always expensive; cat food, for one, is twice as much at the pet store. I would complain about the cat’s expensive tastes, but in the three months I’ve had her, her fur has gone from prickly to soft. I have no clue what she used to eat but obviously it was the wrong thing.)

  • Go ahead and burn Atlanta The Healthcare System to the ground…

    We ain’t never gonna admit a Black man got better ideas than us.
    https://media1.giphy.com/media/QE3fmo40WMu9W/giphy.gif

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    ‘Cause of the shadow, I thought Wonkette Toddler Person was hovering above the ground in that first pic. But upon inspection, I see now that’s the photographer’s shadow.

    Doesn’t matter–she is a supernaturally badass child.

    • Me not sure

      I think your first impression was better.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        What I saw was all that tall grass and was going, “Eek, ticks, check that child for ticks!”

        • rebecca

          we did!!

        • Predisenting Ron

          I checked my daughters regularly for ticks. At least, after the time bomb incident.

    • Canned Covfefe

      Same here.

    • vivian

      That’s how I saw it!

    • SisterArtemis

      Me too!

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Pretty soon, I’M going to be in charge of the DOJ:

    Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein acknowledges he may need to recuse himself from Russia probe, sources say

    The senior Justice Department official with ultimate authority over the special counsel’s probe of Russia’s alleged meddling in the 2016 election has privately acknowledged to colleagues that he may have to recuse himself from the matter, which he took charge of only after Attorney General Jeff Sessions’ own recusal, sources tell ABC News.

    • Michael R

      Is there an app that tells us where we are in the line ?
      I need to schedule around this if my number comes up .

      • Jamoche

        IIRC it was Maddow saying that soon we’ll all be experts in the AG line of succession.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      You get a recusal! YOU get a recusal! YOU get a recusal! EVERYBODY GETS A RECUSAL!!!

    • Me not sure

      Dept. Of Space Tacos and Justice. That works for me!

      • vivian

        No Tacos, No Justice, amirite?

        • Anna Elizabeth

          So say we all!

        • Predisenting Ron

          A world without tacos IS a world without justice.

      • SisterArtemis

        Shared this exchange with my daughter (a big fan of both tacos and justice). She reminded me we could have had a Taco truck on every corner by now *sob*

    • Canned Covfefe

      Damn, you’ll have a great potential pool of applicants for staff right here who, of course, will pleadge loyalty to you and Wonkette.

    • eyelashviper

      Maybe we all can finally get our 15 minutes of FAME…can I sign up for my time on Bastille Day???

    • jaspersdad

      It’ll be his son’s wedding planner.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    He’s not sexy, but I love Senator Wyden also too.

    https://youtu.be/yKXOgQcN6gA

    • eyelashviper

      Smarts and a good sense of humor are always sexy…

      • rumsey

        He is 68 and has ten-year-old twins and a five-year-old via his second marriage. Someone finds him sexy.

    • SisterArtemis

      His diction drives me nuts, which is the not-sexiest part for me, but he sure has been good in these hearings.

      • Notreelyhelping

        Wyden is excellent, though we do impressions of him around the house. How wonky is that?

  • eyelashviper
    • Lori

      In fairness, it really should be.

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      Never has; never will.

    • SeeTrain65

      Thinks Turkey is that animal the “Kenyan Usurper” pardons on Thanksgiving.

      “I’m the law and order president! No guilty turkeys are getting off scot free!”

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Prosecutors say they will be retrying Cosby.
    FYI.

    • ServantToTheStars

      Blow-Jay Pimpson.

    • eyelashviper

      I read that as “refry”…sounds like a nice option.

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenResistance
    • Ricky Gay

      How many cabinet members does it take to “change a trump bulb?”
      Answer: AOT,K!

  • Jamoche

    From the tiny picture on the main page, I thought DR was dressing up as the other awesome Kamala: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/50881b821918485d2494ef22bb8f0076bd6b26c69e2c7e566fce58290ee500e8.jpg

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    And the corps own just a little bit more of us. The ABC’s – brought to you buy Prudential!

    RALEIGH, N.C. (AP) — A rarely applied experiment in education enabling companies to host taxpayer-funded charter schools for their employees’ children may be about to spread.

    Florida is the only state bringing business-backed charter schools to work sites so far. The first launched in 1999, across the street from the Ryder truck rental company’s headquarters near Miami.

    Louisiana and Connecticut laws also encourage these charters. Louisiana’s first school, partly financed by a hospital, is slated to open next year. And now North Carolina lawmakers are weighing a law copied from Louisiana’s.

    Charter schools are free public schools, funded with tax dollars corresponding to student enrollment, but they operate independently and are exempt from most state regulations. Supporters say they encourage classroom innovation by creating competition with traditional public schools; critics say charters drain away resources.

    Workplace charter schools have been slow to catch on because they don’t offer clear returns for company investment or benefits to employees who would enroll their children, said Samuel Abrams, director of the National Center for the Study of Privatization in Education at Columbia University.


    On the other hand, cash-strapped state governments are happy for corporate financial help outfitting schoolhouses, Abrams said, and the for-profit companies that operate about 10 percent of U.S. charter schools would favor expanding their market for contracts.

    he Woman’s Hospital in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, just landed school board permission to open a workplace charter next year, with the right to reserve half the seats for its employees’ children. But this decision is more about real estate strategy than employee benefits: A school is key to the hospital’s plans to develop a community on about 200 acres it owns around its five-year-old medical campus.

    http://www.seattletimes.com/nation-world/states-test-worksite-charter-schools-for-company-kids/

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Many of my favorite SF novels feature Corporate citizenship as given. They feel prophetic to me.

    • La forza del resistino

      I just got my diploma from Ryder Academy in space saving, efficient van cargo loading.

    • Nockular cavity

      That’ll work well. “Sorry, son, you can’t finish 4th grade because I got laid off.”

  • La forza del resistino

    Cosby gets a mistrial in PA. His 2 female attorneys decline an offer for celebratory drinks with him.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Wtf is up with that? I mean, really?

      • La forza del resistino

        He (with a TV show celebrity) said vs she said. Sounds familiar.

  • eyelashviper
  • Bozilingus
    • BJW

      This is so awesome I had to post it to my liberal Facebook friends!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • La forza del resistino

      Nike is coming out with a new line of knee pads called the PencePads.

    • Caustic Elvisfellow

      His wife and children were unavailable for comment.

    • SayItWithWookies

      [citation needed]

    • miss_grundy

      Jeez Louise, that man is stupid! Dolt 45’s only devotion to American ideals is how many Ameros he can scam from anyone.

    • SeeTrain65

      Must have been late to this week’s ass-kissing festival.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    I have to get something off my chest here, so bear with me.

    We moved to Ocean Springs in October. It’s fine here except for two things. One is the humidity, it’s hell on my nerve pain. The other is, and how do I put this, there aren’t any minorities here. That. Bothers.Me.

    The first friend I ever made was a kid named Darrell. He was the first black kid ever at the little elementary school I went to. We immediately became best friends. I was a weird kid that nobody liked and nobody much liked him for obvious, southern fried reasons.

    I have always had a healthy mix of friends. I don’t classify them. I don’t even think in those terms. No idea off the bat how many of my friends are women, Jewish, Muslim, gay, whatever. Of course, I am aware but I don’t think about it that way.

    I will grant that I do not get out much. I am not in a position to leave the apartment for any reason right now. I do all my socializing online with people I have known for decades and I keep a very, very small circle of friends. On FB, i only have 42 “friends”. That’s substantially more than the number of people I have met and actually know, if that makes any sense.

    I am really missing the diversity I used to enjoy. Everyone in this complex is white. I don’t know. It’s just something that really bothers me. I have no idea what to do about it. Can’t do anything about it really. It simply “is”.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      I’ve mentioned i grew up on a very diverse neighborhood – i never noticed it till I left and returned. I was sitting in a waiting room and noticed, for the first time ever, I was the only white dude there.

      in 2000 or so, I was working with a black guy on a story in new braunfels texas. We were at lunch and EVERY single person in teh dining area was white. I asked, “doesn’t this freak you out a little bit?” He said no.

      I went to KCMO once, stepped off the plane and said, “look at all these fuckin’ white people.”

      It’s an odd thing – one of the reasons I’m hesitant to ever move to New England.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        You get me then. I am just used to a way different culture than this. For one thing, Ocean Springs is SUPER Catholic. Birmingham has maybe three Catholic churches and, I don’t know, 1074 Southern Baptist churches. There are almost no Baptist churches here. That uis a thing I have no problem with.

        Where I was from, I was a minority. I was a Catholic in a Baptist stronghold. A liberal hippie, a white dude whose best friend was a Jew dating the most beautiful Muslim from Senegal I had ever laid eyes on. I picked up a little Arabic from just spending so damned much time around Persians, Hebrew,a little Korean, some Hispanic, a bit of Japanese, even some Russian. I can even kind of read Cyrillic, though I do need to consult a book on some of the trickier parts.

        I have a copy of the Quran, The Torah, The Catholic Bible, the KJV, the Tibetan Book of the Dead and The Book of the Subgenius. I’m by no means an expert in any of these, but I have read them. I just feel a lot more curious about the world than the people around me here. It’s so homogenized that it makes me uneasy. It’s like I’m that character who knows he just walked in to a horror movie but everyone is acting like it’s all somehow “normal”.

        I really don’t have the words for this. Should have kept it to myself.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Nope. I am glad that you spoke up.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            As am I. Your feelings do you credit, Jack. I’m sorry your health is being such an issue, but the Internet is a good way to interact with different kinds of people when you can’t get out much.

        • vivian

          I’m in a similar situation having moved from a series of Metropoli to a very white rural area. My “solution”? My wife is a different race. I guess maybe that puts a target on our backs, but fuck it, I need the birds and trees and sky…

        • Predisenting Ron

          I’m glad you spoke up. Finding the words can help narrow down a problem, and often helps point out a solution.
          I can see why you like being here, though. It’s been quite a while since I ran across a group with such varied experiences, educations, interests and passions. Even when people don’t specifically bring it up it has a way of showing up even in the way they comment. It’s not quite a substitute for living in a multicultural community, but if that isn’t an option right now it’s not a bad alternative.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            That’s my thinking too. I can at least keep my mind from getting lazy with all the cultural homogenization around me and keep myself challenged. That is how I am most comfortable. If something is too easy for me, I get suspicious.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Portland is one of the whitest parts of the country. And has a horrible racist history. I sincerely hope to be a part of changing that.

      • Jamoche

        Went to visit my grandmother, she’s 93, in assisted living in the small town where my uncle lives, about 20 minutes from Atlanta. (Note to everyone: make your assisted living choices before you are mourning your spouse and too depressed to pay attention to what your kids are doing; she’d lived all over the world between WWII and retirement and would have liked one in Atlanta a lot better).

        My uncle took us out to dinner with his family, one of those generic mid-range chain restaurants. Something seems off; eventually I realize every single person there is white. Not something that happens in Silicon Valley – or even Atlanta itself; going through the airport filled with all kinds of people felt like returning to civilization.

        • Lori

          The places that I’ve voluntarily lived as an adult have been quite diverse. Moving to small town Indiana was an unpleasant shock to the system. This place is really, really white and after living in Palo Alto, LA, and DC that extremely feels weird to me.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        I graduated from Georgia Tech in 1983 when it was 7:1 male:female and there were only 400 black students on a campus of 8000. As a black female, I was often the only woman and the only black person in the room at work until the early 90’s. Also one of the youngest.
        After a while, you got used to it. I was glad when things changed. That said, there is no way for us to go back to the 1950’s and maintain our economy. There are not enough white men with the requisite skills to run things.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          did you find that ethnicities hung together? i mean it would make sense, I was just kinda shocked when i attended UT Austin in the mid 90’s. It was a diverse school – probably still mostly white – but the black students and asian students used to be in groups together.
          Nothing wrong with that – and there were plenty of instances where a group of friends looked diverse enough for the cover of a school pamphlet. Still it was…surprising?
          Now that I think about it, I ended my time there hanging out with other border kids, they were all mexican/mexican-american, I’m white, but they just seemed to easier to get along with. I guess it’s shared values or background or something.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Yeah, but not exclusively. My very best college friends are the good folks from the college newspaper that I worked with, a very diverse group. I grew up on USAF bases so Tech wasn’t a shock to me.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      When I was little, dad purposely moved us to a 99.9% white area. The only PoC I saw were on TV and in comic books.

      Now I vastly prefer to be around diverse people. In Pueblo, Caucasians are the minority, and that suits me.

      • La forza del resistino

        Never being exposed to diverse restaurant menus may be the largest crime.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          xD Lots of white People food, fer shure.

          And that’s it. Diversity is fun. Learning about food, and culture, and finding things to try, it’s so much better than whitebread farmers that think Catsup is “spicy” and talk about sports and cows incessantly.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        The neighborhood I lived the last two decades in was very diverse. Me and my wife were the only white people there. I much preferred that.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          I believe it. The different people I meet are a joy, and certainly Hispanics, Black, and Asians have been more accepting of me than all the whitebread Good Xtians I was stuck around.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I am also white, but live in a very mixed neighborhood. I have black, Hispanic, Asian and white neighbors. I love that. When I had to stay with my mother for a while due to health issues, it was creepy. Her neighborhood is almost completely white.

    • Bemused Australian

      Wanting to live among a cosmopolitan bustle isn’t anything strange. Once you’ve lived in a diverse environment, it’s hard to go back.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        That’s why I’ve been spending so much time online lately. Places like here are the only shot I have these days at talking to a diverse range of people. My wife gets it at work, she does work in a diverse environment, but I can’t really get that in my own life right now.

        It’s a feeling like loss, really. I guess I’m afraid of succumbing to the whole “white identity” rubbish.

        • Bemused Australian

          I’m technically Jewish (by reform standards), and also Didicoy. So add me to your non-wasp column.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Awesome! I really, really need more non-wasp grounding.

          • Zyxomma

            I’m an atheist Jewess (I do go to the most welcoming temple twice a month; yesterday evening was our Pride shabbat) from the east village (I was born in Brooklyn, but my mom lived two blocks away from where I live now when she was born). This neighborhood WAS quite diverse, but it’s much whiter now thanks to gentrification. Still more diverse than where you now find yourself, but now when I hear other languages spoken, it’s tourists, not locals.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          ~hugs~ That wont happen, Jack. You’re too sharp, and spend time at healthy self-questioning to fall into that.

          Hell, you have a friend that’s a Bisexual Transwoman whom is a practicing Klingon. xD That is some diversity right there.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            There ya go, then! At least there’s a decent LGBT community here. Not organized in as much as it’s just “here”. The beach is a great magnet.

            I do miss my old friends though. I miss the drag shows at The Quest, that closed down a while ago though. I did a lot of hair and make-up there. I was skilled at that kind of thing and did what I could to help out.

            I just miss belonging to something bigger. I miss being a misfit in a group of misfits. Does that make sense?

          • Anna Elizabeth

            It does, I love being the Misfit in a group of misfits. :)

            I didn’t know you were into doing hair and makeup. :D No wonder you and I get along so well, we have so many things in common.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Started out doing hair and make-up for my drama department in middle school. I used to paint and that was a way I could get extra school credit for something not unlike what I already loved doing. By the end of my senior year in High School, it’s been in charge of make-up at five RHPS events and was asked to volunteer with the shows at The Quest.

            It was a really great time. Met the best people. Almost got a job with Rick Baker’s studio but I really didn’t want to do that.

          • Bemused Australian

            I miss being a misfit in a group of misfits. Does that make sense?

            It surely does my friend. There’s nothing better than being among a group of like-minded people and raising middle fingers in unison in service of a shared ideal.

          • Predisenting Ron

            It makes wonderful sense.

      • Jukesgrrl

        Yes, that’s my experience, too. I’m having my first time of being in suburbia and it seems so bland to me. I especially cringe when I constantly hear that we should “keep out of South Tucson” because it’s “so dangerous.” I’ve tried replying, “No, it’s an urban area largely inhabited by Mexicans. So it looks different to you. That doesn’t mean you should be frightened.” But that hasn’t worked out too good for me to date.

  • Skaarphy

    Never forget, dear Wonketteers: they have Ted Nugent, we have Bob Dylan (sad but true).
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YiOnyZ5UClQ

    edit: Okay, he’s an asshole too. But still …

  • btwbfdimho
    • JustDon’tSayCovfefe

      She looks like she’s floating above the sidewalk in that pic.

      • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

        Angels do that when they aren’t paying attention to gravity.

    • rebecca

      that’s my little brother’s lawn in Detroit. Shy is a LAWN MOWING DAD AMERICAN.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    I’m so horrified by the Castile verdict. What is wrong with juries?

    • Bemused Australian

      There’s another side to it. Police forces are recruiting people who don’t have the first fucking clue, giving them guns, then putting them on the streets. That doesn’t excuse what happened, but the issue is systemic; that shooting is a symptom.

      • Jamoche

        It’s like the stereotype of mall cops.

      • vivian

        It wasn’t a shooting. It was a murder. The fact that the murderer was a cop is immaterial.

        • Bemused Australian

          I agree. But the circumstances of any murder matter. That cop shouldn’t have been put there. He clearly wasn’t able to deal with that situation, and shouldn’t have been allowed to go out with a gun.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        That doesn’t explain the jury.

        • Bemused Australian

          The cop who did the shooting was a scared racist asshole. Scared was what the jury’s decision hung on. Black guy with a (legal) gun, that’s enough.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            And let’s hear it for the crickets from the NRA about a good guy with a gun being gunned down by a jack-booted thug.

            Hell, white people have taken over wildlife sanctuaries for less.

      • Marla

        Most have a basic “academy” training at a commodity college where a GPA of 2.0 will surface for a graduation

        • Bemused Australian

          It can’t be enough training then. Is it possible to impose federal standards? I’m guessing no without many years spent in court.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Right. Federal Standards. Trump will get right on that.

    • La forza del resistino

      the thought of being pulled over in a traffic stop by a battalion of cops on their way home?

    • Bozilingus

      What happens when a black officer “fears for my life” and kills a white person? I wish justice were truly fair and impartial.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
    • Jamoche

      I know “conspiracy theorist” is a mouthful, but it’s better than calling those assholes “truthers”. They don’t see it as a synonym for conspiracy theorist; they see it as validation.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Good for them.

      I live in Hartford. After Sandy Hook, Mrs Pixelz and I walked in a memorial march to honor the victims. One of the people ahead of us at one point had a shirt naming one of the children, “heaven has another angel”. Still brings tears to my eyes. FUCK THE NRA, AMERICA’S FOREMOST TERRORIST ADVOCACY GROUP.

  • eggs ackly-wright
    • Jamoche

      Lucky10K moment: blobfish aren’t so blobby in their natural habitat, which is extremely deep water with 60x the pressure of sea level. They just look like normal fish. But bring them out of the water, and bloop!

      • eggs ackly-wright

        I always figured he was pretty on the inside.

      • Scrofula

        Thought that was more of a “pop pop!”.
        You know, as little bits of them literally explode.

      • (((Aron)))

        Incidentally, take me out of the bathtub and also bloop!

    • Scrofula

      And he looks great, like usual. Photogenic bastard.

    • Zyxomma

      All those creatures are beautiful, each in its own way. Thanks for posting.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Get your Wonakbucks in now. There will come a time when Dictator-For-Life Donna Rose will throw her hand up in front of her face and yell, “Ew, Dad! Get that thing away from me!”

    • phoenix00

      If I remember right she did have a birthday recently so she’s making her way up there little by little…..

  • SeeTrain65

    That smile is infectious.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Wow. Slight bit of photo illusion in the pic of Wonkchild. The way the shadow sits on the light background, at first my eyes sensed that Babbytrix was hovering over the stone pavers.

    • freakishlypersistent

      Oh, that’s no illusion..

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Wait, which Mexico is Heinrich from?

    • (((Aron)))

      Mexico 3.0, AKA California!

Previous articleOh No Megyn Kelly, Alex Jones GOTCHA’D Your GOTCHA! (Not A Euphemism)
Next articleAmerica: Still Really Fucking Racist