OH HI WONKERS. So this week was very dumb, as all weeks in Trump World are. But we took moments this week to highlight two senators who are just kicking ass all over the place, and they are Kamala Harris and Martin Heinrich. And guess what? Both of their stories made the top ten list!
We will count all the stories down in just a minute, but first we must firmly yet politely ask for donations. See, we are 100% funded by you readers, and we have no ads, and we love it, and you love it, because they do not eat your browser. But we have to keep asking you to give us dollars and subscription moneys and things in order to make this system work. We explained all this in your monthly reminder post about how we need moneys, on a regular basis, to keep this place running without ads. Will you throw $5, $10, or $25 at our faces? Or we even take thousand dollar and million dollar donations, like if you are a secret famous celebrity fan of Wonkette! Seriously, if you are able — DO NOT MONEY US IF YOU CAN’T AFFORD IT — then pull out your wallet and sign up to throw money on our face every month! You can also pull out an envelope and stamp and send money to Wonkette, PO Box 8765, Missoula MT 59807. Whatever, just please support us any way you can.
Look, it’s the traditional Wonkette Baby Donation Pressure Lion Of Cuteness, who is a fan of Kamala Harris, Martin Heinrich, and also money donations:
We shall now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé:
1. We never thought we’d actually see a literal blowjob in the White House, but that’s what Trump’s first cabinet meeting looked like.
2. Kamala Harris, you are a fucking BAD. ASS.
3. Did you miss the verrrrrrrry slow and drawling Jeff Sessions lie-fest at the Senate Intelligence Committee? Read our liveblog here!
4. Trump declared TOTAL VICTORY over James Comey, by threatening to file complaints and put them on his PERMANENT RECORD.
5. Dead Breitbart figured out a weird trick to make all its ad revenue disappear FOR GOOD.
6. Trey Gowdy will chair the House Oversight Committee, so hopefully he can finally solve the riddle of BENGHAZI!!!111!!!!
7. Uh oh, looks like Russians fucked with election systems in 39 STATES.
8. The author of the world’s most notorious racist internet comment has died, but it wasn’t from white genocide.
9. Martin Heinrich, senator of New Mexico, you are also a badass. But this post we wrote was actually just about how you are a smokin’ hot piece of man ass.
10. And finally, Aunt Nancy Pelosi has a hilarious story for you, about what a pussy Donald Trump is.
So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!
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You are very good. For following our orders, here are a couple more pictures of Wonkette Toddler Human person, one of which includes her cousin Dzho, whom she just met. They loved each other!
OK anyway have a good weekend goodbye.
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