SHARE


Morning Wonketariat! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today. But FIRST! Minneapofriends, come see your WONKETTE FAMBLY, TONIGHT! At Bar Luchador, from 4 to 7 p.m.! Spread the word!

An NSA contractor has leaked evidence to The Intercept that details Russian attempts at spear phishing 100 election officials right before the election; it must be true because it burned its source, and Glenn Greenwald is gritting his teeth since it has nothing to do with Hillary’s murderous email-o-tron 2000.

Corey Lewandowski and David Bossie won’t start a White House war room to obstruct combat the Trump-Russia investigations presumably because they couldn’t convince anyone to sit in a room and take orders from President Bannon, David Bossie, and Corey Lewandowski while Trump barks at the teevee.

Four major law firms have passed on representing Trump because they’re afraid Trump won’t listen to a word they say. That’s not a joke, but it’s pretty damn funny!

Trump’s White House wanted to dump Russian oil sanctions even after it dumped Mike Flynn because reasons, money; also ‘Merica!

The Trump Hotel in D.C. got $270,000 from a lobbying firm that is financed by Saudi Arabia, but don’t worry, The Trump Organization and Donald Trump are totally separate entities and CERTAINLY not coordinating, or compensating one another in any way. [Archive]

All 18 Democrats on the House Oversight committee have signed on to invoke the “Seven Member Rule” for unredacted copies of the lease for the Trump hotel in D.C. in response to the Trump administrations policy of telling Democratic lawmakers to piss off with all their “rules” and “ethics” and “laws.”

The Trump Organization is going to make new discount hotels which will promote Trump’s MAGA slogan, and they’re going to be chock-full of tchotchke Americana flair, and planted in those hellish, desolate areas of middle-America where unemployed, pill-popping Trumpkins already live.

Trump is SUPER MAD at Jeff Sessions stepping out of the way so Trump has to obstruct the long, flabby arm of justice all by himself.

WaPo dug into Scott Pruitt’s claim of adding 50,000 new coal jobs and, SPOILER ALERT, it’s a big load of crap.

REXXON might be MIA, just like the rest of the State Department, but I wonder if anyone checked to see if he was hiding UNDER the bed?

There was 8th grader who refused to pose for a picture with Paul Ryan, and the poor kid took a lot of heat from butthurt “patriots,” so she wrote an op-ed that says, “I know what Paul Ryan stands for and I’m not going to take a picture with him.”

The author of the Torture Memo from the George W. Bush administration, Steven Bradbury, has been nominated for General Counsel of Transportation, so Crom only knows what kind of “enhancements” he’ll recommend.

Trump thinks it’s Democrats who are holding up everything, but if that were true Democrats would actually control Congress. [Infographic]

Nevada has a fancy new plan to give Medicaid to everybody. DID SOMEONE SAY SINGLE-PAYER HEALTHCARE!? That’s socialism!

Deep within the formerly smoke-filled rooms of Congress, Republicans are deeply concerned Trump is ruining their dreams of screwing all the poor people, and rewarding corporate malpractice.

A top-ranking US diplomat to China has quit over disagreements with the Trump administration, but the 27-year career foreign service officer was probably just throwing a partisan-fueled temper tantrum about the Paris Accord (and NATO, the EU, etc.).

Multiple diplomats in Not America are quietly expressing their frustration with Trump, but anyone who WILLINGLY goes to Not America is really more of an Ameri-can’t.

Over 130 British imams are refusing to participate in burial services for the London attackers and are joining a chorus of Muslims around the world in condemnation because they’re good people, just like everyone else.

The blacklisting of Qatar continues as regional banks freeze out the tiny Middle Eastern oil-dependent nation, and Qatar is asking Kuwait to say some nice things to all their neighbors.

Ever the optimist, Pat Roberson took to the airwaves to blame London’s terrorist attacks on hippy lefties who don’t feel like participating in a police state and actively stall the NuCrusades.

Mike Pence welcomed the Prime Minister of Montenegro in yet another attempt to look like an adult, and less like a constipated and sexually repressed religious zealot.

A Breitbart editor was fired for making racist statements about Muslims after the London attacks, and I swear I just saw a pig flying with a cow.

The Million Deplorable March in Canada drew about 100 people, according to Canadian police, but don’t you dare tell that to the Daily Caller. They SWEAR there was over 5,000 people!

The GOP is planning to go all-in on the fake-news narrative for 2018 since they don’t have any policy positions other than “Lie, cheat, steal and kill the poor.” Reporters are advised to buy body armor and bourbon.

The 2020 presidential field is full of ladies right now and they’re all busy sculpting their message. AWWW YEA!

And here’s your late night wrap-up! The Daily Show had correspondent Michelle Wolf calling bullshit on Megyn Kelly; Jimmy Kimmel noticed Putin say something about Trump; Colbert caught up with covfefe; and Seth Meyers took A Closer Look at Trump’s twitter fights.

And here’s your morning Nice Time! OTTERS!
Hey! If you like the news, the ‘splainers, and your morning Nice Times, GIVE US SOME MONEY (please)!

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
Previous articleMinneapolis, Chicago And Detroit: CLEAR YOUR ENTIRE SCHEDULE RIGHT NOW FOR WONKETTE PURPOSES!
Next articleDoes North Carolina Need Another Ass-Kicking From SCOTUS For Being Crazy Racist? IT DOES!