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Morning Wonketariat! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today.

Trump’s White House is trying to stop oversight requests from federal agencies in fear that more people might realize exactly how much they’re getting fleeced by Donald Trump.

Some people think that Special Investigator Robert Mueller has a treasure trove of information in Trump’s tweets since they offer a road map and timeline that could be used to establish criminal intent. OOOOHHH, somebody’s gonna’ get in TROUBLE!

The White House and Russia’s state-owned bank forgot to coordinate their talking points about Jared Kushner as it looks like J-Kush may have been using his role as a public official to secure financing for his personal business. RUH-ROH!

Immediately after taking office, Trump’s White House tried to drop Russian sanctions imposed by Barack Obama because reasons, and that hasn’t gone over too well with Foggy Bottom or Capitol Hill.

President Kushner and Princess Ivanka are all, “whatevs, bros” after Trump grabbed lady liberty by the pussy and pulled her out of the Paris Climate Accords.

For their part, Trump’s White House staff won’t confirm whether or not Trump believes in climate change because they’ve never bothered to ask, since Trump’s past statements speak for themselves. You know, the ones where he calls it a Chinese hoax, and “bullshit.”

CEO’s from across finance and tech sectors have condemned Trump’s move to bail on the Paris Climate Accords including Tesla CEO Elon Musk, and Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein.

Leaders from Not America are pushing ahead with climate legislation and maneuvering businesses into renewable and green technology while criticizing Trump and the U.S. for pulling out of the Paris Climate Accords.

Trump’s taking his Muslim ban 2.0 travel restrictions on Muslim-majority countries to the Supreme Court, hoping that they’ll ignore racist campaign rhetoric, multiple lower-court rulings, and widespread public opinion, and ban all spooky Muslims potential terrorists.

Trump’s isolationist ideology is a bunch of horseshit as his economic advisors are quietly working to establish large international trade negotiations, and advising against the withdraw of multilateral agreements like TPP and NAFTA.

Betsy DeVos is attempting to staff minions who seem like nice counter-weights but the smell of rotting trash still hangs heavy over their heads.

The Office of Inspector General is criticizing the Justice Department’s Civil Division for its handling of sexual misconduct cases after it tried to “pass the trash,” failed to discipline employees for sexual misconduct, and failed to prosecute a senior official for stalking another attorney.

Looks like Corey Lewandowski and President Kushner are best friends now after the two were spotted hugging in the Rose Garden.

Brexit leader Nigel Farage is laughing off a story about his ALLEGED involvement in Trump-Russia now that he’s been named as a person of interest by the FBI.

Kellyanne Conway crawled out from her spider hole to criticize Hillary Clinton as “joyless.”

The friends of National Security Advisor H.R. McMaster are worried that Trump is using him and his three gold stars as a mouthpiece to shill garbage and offer cover. Maybe he has a taste for shit-sandwiches?

Trump has appointed Michael D’Andrea to run the CIA’s Iran operations, and as a “chain-smoking convert to Islam” who helped locate Osama bin Laden, it raises questions of how hawkish Trump and Republicans are trying to get in Not America.

Yes, Trump’s White House is trying to kill daily press briefings because reporters are nerds and we should hit them.

Tucker Carlson’s Daily Caller appears to be operating as a 501(c)3 AND a for-profit business, allowing the Daily Caller to avoid paying millions in taxes as it publishes content for free (next to clickbait ads) and “trains” fresh-out-of-college students to be “journalists.” Wow. So charity. Very martyr. Such Jesus.

A Pennsylvania man drove to the DC Trump hotel with an AR-15, a handgun, several cellphones and survival supplies and demanded to meet with Trump so he could rant about bringing down big pharma. Don’t do that.

Will Twitter bots bring democracy to its knees as people push “covfefe” and conspiracy theories into the court of public discussion? Only if we’re all “morans.”

Facebook’s shareholders are pissed about fake news and they want to know what their Wonderboy in Chief, Mark Zuckerberg, plans to do it about it beyond half-assed speeches and essays.

National Geographic has killed Bill O’Reilly’s “Killing” series because it’s “difficult,” and they’re certainly not kicking him while he’s rolling around in the fetal position.

Here’s a Nice Time story about how Obama met the “Most Interesting Man in the World” after his staff set up a super elaborate birthday party. Treat yo’ self!

And here’s your late night wrap-up! The Daily Show ‘splained how Trump told the Earth to fuck itself, and then Trevor Noah explored the origins of covfefe; Jimmy Kimmel had some covfefe thoughts too.

And here’s your morning Nice Time! IT’S FIONA! She’s getting so big and sassy that she needs a bigger pool!

If you don’t give us money we can’t give you news and ‘splainerings! Hurry it up please!

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  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
    • BadKitty904

      Coffeefefe!

  • Nounverb911
  • My bad, guys. It’s super long today, and we have MANY newses to get through!

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    We’re just a few weeks away from President Trump pardoning himself. Or as Lyin’ Sean will explain it: “Today is a historic day in American history. Never before has a president so deeply and brilliantly respected the law. Today’s action by our glorious leader has cemented his place in the annals of history and will be discussed, admired and celebrated for years, if not centuries, to come. PERIOD!”

  • Nounverb911
  • The KGB Ate Our Votes

    Good grief. I don’t even have the stamina to get through a two foot long article of bullet points on TODAY’S Trump controversies, debacles, shady dealings, crimes and misdemeanors. Yesterday Fred Flinstsone told Elon Musk and the rest of the world to stop laughing at America and coal is the future! Trump is like the caveman who walks into the cave to discover his brothers have invented fire, walks over and sticks his dick in it.

  • Nounverb911
  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Ugh, if it’s gonna be one of *those* days I’m going back to bed.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Not staying up for the 6 PM news dump? It’s going to be terrific!

  • BadKitty904

    The nations that remain in the Paris Agreement will be the nations that reap the benefits in jobs and industries created. I believe the United States of America should be at the front of the pack. But even in the absence of American leadership; even as this Administration joins a small handful of nations that reject the future; I’m confident that our states, cities, and businesses will step up and do even more to lead the way, and help protect for future generations the one planet we’ve got.

    ~ The Honorable Barack Obama, Last President of the United States of America (June 1, 2017)

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    “It’s definitely surprising, and should make people question their assumptions about this administration,” Michael J. Petrilli, the president of the conservative-leaning Thomas B. Fordham Institute, an education policy think tank.

    No it shouldn’t. DeVos is a self-entitled, rich white woman whose goal it is to destroy public education. Window dressing is just that.

    • BadKitty904

      “…a self-entitled, rich white woman whose goal it is to loot as much public education funding as po$$ible…

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        These fuckers are the greediest, self-centered shitheads to ever walk the halls of the US government. Rockefeller, Carnegie, and Vanderbilt have nothing on these thieves …

        • BadKitty904

          Just wait ’til they destroy the judiciary. They will have unfettered access to the entire U.S. treasury…

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Friendly reminder to members of the Trump Junta: the first one to turn state’s evidence gets the best plea bargain deal.

    • The KGB Ate Our Votes

      He/She will be greeted as a liberator!

    • BadKitty904

      Better a live canary than a rat in a trap.

    • therblig

      i bet more than one has a folder marked “Goat Porn” that actually contains useful evidence just in case.

      • Opalescent Riddles

        I think they should name the folder “Fact-based policy suggestions” so that nobody else in the Junta will peep into it.

  • CogitoErgoBibo

    Kellyanne Conway crawled out from her spider hole to criticize Hillary Clinton as “joyless.”

    Also “joyless”: Any sentient, intelligent human since Nov. 9, so there’s really no need to go picking on Hillz specifically. At least she had the sense to go enjoy the wilderness before climate change ends life as we know it.

  • Nounverb911
  • Bill D. Burger

    US embassy in Berlin today.

    bwwwahahaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

    With the French embassy just across the street, you know they were laughing their asses off.

    https://i.redditmedia.com/uRcFmZ3lvJAU0MG06gYQaHJhYGZpj5jVtgs0mMhNi2M.jpg?w=1024&s=a956ffa086debaf6d87c13bd2576006e

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      They’re all going to laugh at you!

    • BadKitty904

      We’d laugh, too, if it weren’t so true…

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      I love projection vandalism!

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        Usually Trump is projecting the vandalism.

        • Patriciapcox

          Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !du287c:
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. Follow this link for more information
          !du287c:
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    • armed_bears

      Hey Kids! Remember when we lead the Free World?

    • Run2Live

      Trolling Trump @ his D.C. hotel: Emoluments Welcome. Pay Trump Bribes Here.
      http://www.washingtonpost.com/video/c/embed/5cbffaee-3a40-11e7-a59b-26e0451a96fd

    • Me not sure

      So am I.

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    At least Wonder Woman was good…

  • OneYieldRegular

    It’s so reassuring to know that Donald “Don’t Laugh at Me” Trump, in making a decision that affects the entire planet, called up noted climate expert Kimberly Guilfoyle at 8 in the morning to get her sage advice.

    • BadKitty904

      The Russo-Republican Party once again hands the role of world leadership to China…

      • Oblios_Cap

        Which is rather ironic.

  • Nounverb911
    • BadKitty904

      It’s been noted Down Here that the Traitor-in-Chief announced this latest Republican treachery on June 1st, the official beginning of the 2017 Hurricane Season.

      • Nounverb911

        Isn’t Hurricane DON fourth on the list?

        • When does Hurricane Dumpster Fire come through?

          • satanscheerleadersloveamerica

            It started 1/20/2017 and has only intensified.

      • No worries. He doesn’t have any bureaucracies to take care of them anyway.

        • BadKitty904

          Thanks, GOP!

  • wait! what?

    Hacker, Banker, Soldier, Spy: A Guide to the Key Players in the Trump-Russia Scandal

    Get up to speed on the growing controversy engulfing the presidency.

    http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2017/06/russia-trump-putin-scandal-key-players-dossiers?google_editors_picks=true

    Donald Trump Jr.

    “I have nothing to do with Russia,” President Trump has declared. “No deals. No loans.” That’s not quite true. Just ask his oldest son, who serves as the executive vice president of the Trump Organization. “Russians make up a pretty disproportionate cross section of a lot of our assets,” Don Jr. told investors in 2008. “We see a lot of money pouring in from Russia.” Weeks before the election, Trump’s son was reportedly paid $50,000 to address a pro-Russian group in Paris whose leader nominated Putin for the Nobel Peace Prize in December.

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenCovfefe

    “Now listen, gol-dang-it, we voted for you Donald Trump and to have you run off, sayin’ you represent Pittsburgh, and not us, is just breakin’ are hearts!” – The people of Paris,
    TX https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2dd7cfad9056429369b41f776494bce34981264b6e3635efd0a39120fbba0c53.jpg

  • Oblios_Cap

    Bill O. and KaC in the same post. Two people whose opinions I could care less to hear.

  • Nounverb911

    Trump announced the location of his preznidental liberry yesterday too, also.

    https://twitter.com/KarlFrisch/status/870384455424376832

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      If he’s impeached, does he get a library?

      • From Russia with Love

        Most prisons have one, don’t they?

        • Oblios_Cap

          Only if Andy Dufresne is a prisoner there.

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            Sorry, I didn’t see your “point” until after I posted my point.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Minsk and Pinsk are fighting over the rights.

      • OneYieldRegular

        More to the point, if he doesn’t have any books, does he get a library?

      • BadKitty904

        As long as the Republican Party controls Congress, he won’t be impeached. Once his usefulness to the Party is done, they may Amendment-25 him or force him to resign by threatening to expose/prosecute his many crimes.

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          I’m thinking if the polls look like the GOP will lose the House this time next year we will all get the see the 25th Amendment in action.
          25th the 45th.

          • BadKitty904

            You’d best copyright that last line – I can see the t-shirts already.

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            I stole it from Wes1212.

          • puredog

            The t-shirt and bumpersticker are needed.

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            Feel free. I stole it from wes1212.

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          If any other party cannot gain control of the Congress in 2018, the Land Shark clan is emigrating. The republic will survive, but only as a wasteland inhabited by crooks and greedheads.

          I understand the alps are lovely this time of year ….

          • pstockholm

            Forget the alps, we could use some snarky Americans in Sweden. The natives take themselves a bit too seriously sometimes, and don’t really do snark.
            Downside, you’ll have to get into a serious relationship with a Swede in order to get a residence permit, sorry about that – https://www.elitsinglar.se/

          • BadKitty904

            Two words – British Columbia…

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        Nixon did. Andy Dufresne did in Shawshank Redemption.

        • Lori

          Nixon wasn’t impeached, he resigned. Neither of the presidents who were impeached (Johnson & Clinton) were convicted.

          • therblig

            so, trumpy has the chance to make real history. yay!

          • Lori

            USA! USA! USA!

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Just a coffee table….

    • Bill D. Burger

      They’re going to have to work on their collections. The “Time” cover, the one of whichTurnip had 18 copies on his desk, hasn’t been added. Guess he can’t give up his personal BR copies.

      https://cdn.someecards.com/posts/twitter-empty-bookshelf-trump-white-house-4Ob.jpg

    • Nockular cavity

      In R’lyeh? I should have guessed so.

    • The Wanderer

      Rl’yeh doesn’t need a dome. “High pressure” jobs there are measured in the hundreds of atmospheres.

  • therblig

    so, job creator trumpy just created millions of alternative energy jobs…in china.

  • Nounverb911
    • Oblios_Cap

      He didn’t say that.

    • Shucky Ducky

      New York is the Empire State.

      • Nounverb911

        I read Empire State Building, no coffee yet, fixed.

        • Shucky Ducky

          Yeah, I’m still mainlining the caffeine this am. Had to stare at the building on the left for a minute before I could i.d. it

  • Oblios_Cap

    The O’bama story was a fun read. Thanks, Dom.

  • Wojo

    .
    Candidate Trump: I’ll leave the Paris Agreement

    President Trump: I’ll leave the Paris agreement

    Media: We’ve been blindsided!
    .
    .

    • did he say much as a candidate on the agreement? Other than he needed to “look at” it?
      everything during the campaign was “we will look at it” from what I recall

      • Were we supposed to take him seriously or literally? I’m loosing track

        • According to his followers, you are not supposed to take him literally, unless he actually does something, and then well duh he said he would!

      • Celtic_Gnome

        “We will look at it” is Trumpspeak for “I was asked a question I know nothing about, so I have to vamp.”

  • Bill D. Burger

    “They will find in France a second homeland,” Mr Macron said.

    “I call on them,” he added. “Come and work here with us, work together on concrete solutions for our climate, our environment. I can assure you, France will not give up the fight.”

    Mr Macron added: “Wherever we live, whoever we are, we all share the same responsibility: make our planet great again.”

    (*Macron to Trump: “Suck it bitch!” )

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DBRQzp6XgAIH3Nv.jpg

    • BigCSouthside

      The new world order is quickly showing itself to be Merkel, Macron, Trudeau, and Jinping

      We are going to be a global footnote by the time Trump is done

      • Nockular cavity

        Plus Putin as the Trickster God.

    • Indivisible Snark Tank

      Pardon me while I google “how do I emigrate to France?”….

  • OddMan

    This little line was in the news this AM concerning Trump saying ‘screw off world, we love coal’:
    Ivanka Trump is reportedly moving on, despite the priority she placed on the climate issue. Politico’s Annie Karni reports: “Ivanka Trump and her husband, Jared Kushner, have taken the defeat in stride, according to two people familiar with their thinking on the issue.

    Ivanka is ‘moving on’, isn’t that fucking nice. Her goddamned father just made America look like a country of buffoons run by an imbecile. All because father Trump got his little fingers and feelings hurt by that nasty French boy.
    Fuck!!!!!!

    • Bill D. Burger

      Ivanka will have a champagne popsicle to help her through the pain….and by tonight. All better!

      • pstockholm

        Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

    • BigCSouthside

      Those two have no real power. If they did Bannon would have been ousted a long time ago, and make no mistake, this Paris move is 100% Bannon

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      I know my primary concern was how Ivanka was handling the news.

      • DrBigHead

        I lost sleep over it.

        • puredog

          Will no one weep for Ivanka? Heartless bastids.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      I guess this will be the basis of more motivational advice to down-and-out women everywhere in her next ghost-written think-piece:

      “Moving On”: Ivanka tells us how we can take toxic environments, lack of affordable access to health care and reproductive rights, and minimum-wage income all in stride with her quick tips and tricks!

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        It’s architectural…

    • Her issue was never climate.
      They said that so they could pretend they had someone interested in it.

      • Opalescent Riddles

        And wimmins issues also too.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Well, she does have money to make.

    • BosGrl

      Oh well! Can’t win them all!

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Saw this on Twitter:
      “Let’s talk about Ivanka Trump’s politics.
      Ivanka Trump enjoys being rich.
      Thus ends the discussion about Ivanka Trump’s politics.”

      • Fake news! That synopsis could be taken from ANY Republican profile! I’m on to you, libtards!

  • wait! what?

    It’s National Donut Day. Grab a free “coffee confidant” where you can. A little sugar rush break is a great coping mechanism.

  • YoBunnyBunny

    Re the Politico article on WH instructing agencies to ignore Dem oversight requests

    The idea, Republicans said, is to choke off the Democratic
    congressional minorities from gaining new information that could be used
    to attack the president.

    I thought everything the Trump Administration did was just tremendous. Like yoooge. Letting the agencies provide the requested information would only prove just how much winning the Trump is doing, right?

    Oh, what’s that? Yeah, they’ve got nothing. Or at least nothing good to tell. It’s like the Trump team isn’t even diligent enough to cook the books, and put on a well-staged dog and pony show just how Big League they are. Right now the best ONLY thing that Trump can do to distract us is tweet semi-coherent piss blather at 3AM. I don’t know what disappoints me more: that we have a bunch of crooks in the White House or that we have a bunch of third-string incompetent crooks in the White House.

  • Nounverb911
  • Nockular cavity

    Looks like Corey Lewandowski and President Kushner are best friends now after the two were spotted hugging in the Rose Garden.

    I’m gonna guess Lewandowski beat the shit out of Bannon for Kushner.

    • From Russia with Love

      Difficult to tell when Bannon gets popped in the face.

  • therblig

    mcmaster agreed to become a pos when he signed on with trumpy.

    • Meccalopolis

      Although he may be the only thing standing between t rump and the football when it goes down

  • Ghenghis McCann

    Is this the most important thing on Trump’s mind at the moment?

    A giant Saltire flag has been stolen from the Trump golf course in Aberdeenshire.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-40118351

    • From Russia with Love

      Aberdeen is a fitting place for a Trump goof course, with all the North Sea oil that came in there.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      I originally read that headline as “satire flag”.

      • puredog

        Ditto.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        The flag used to be called “St Andrew’s Cross”, but recently it’s more usually referred to as “The Saltire”. Just goes to show what a Godless nation Scotland’s become.

        • From Russia with Love

          As I recall, the spot on the street where they charbroiled St Andy is still marked, so maybe Godless is not an unreasonable tack?

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Saltire is the heraldic/vexillological term for any sort of x shaped cross, but the Scotland flag is “The Saltire” because Scottish pride or whatever…

      • thewalkindude

        I saw “Saltine”flag

    • nightmoth

      Interesting. He put it up without the local government’s permission, and some canny Scotsman took it down. omg—they’ve DEFIED him! So, yeah, that probably IS all he’s “thinking” about right now.

  • Riley Whodat Venable
    • Thanks! I generally try use news outlets for the extra context, but I’ll keep this in mind!

  • ‘Covfefe is Magic’ Ron
    • Saxo the Grammarian

      What they really mean is that they get no joy from listening to Hillz keeping it real.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        As opposed to the happy happy face of donald trump….

    • Stulexington

      So unlikable,
      Much emails.
      Wowgazi.

      • nightmoth

        I’ve long thought thought “unlikable” is code for “she’s smarter than me, and she and everybody else knows it.” We have a strong anti-intellectual bent running through this country’s history. Our stereotypes include the “absent-minded professor” vs. the “manly blue collar worker.” I used to hear the phrase “educated fool” a lot. It may be more prevalent in the South: I don’t know.

        • Persistent Demme

          It’s also code for: “SHE’S A VAGINA-HAVER!!!”

          • nightmoth

            Smart wimmens are the worst. They don’t behave like little ladies are supposed to. They are code-breakers and other women hate them as much as the men do.

          • MizzMazz

            And don’t get me started about the way they do their hair, or the clothes they wear! It’s like they’re not even trying to be attractive to men!

          • nightmoth

            LOL! I’ve gone through so many phases with “how to dress” that I’m glad I’m old and nobody judges what I’m “trying to say” with my clothes any more.

          • MizzMazz

            I’m an old too, and it’s wonderful not to get judged so much anymore (though it still happens). My favorite was when a co-worker told me, “I need to take you shopping.” Only if you’re buying, sweetie!

          • Yr. Gma

            Well, as a Knockout Old, I never worry about what the kids are saying because I forgive them for being jealous and petty.

          • MizzMazz

            You know what i enjoy about being older? I have a little money, and I can wear sequined beaded shit whenever I want, flowy housedresses, and the kids tend to think I look cool! You’re cool too :D

          • Yr. Gma

            Yep. And hats. I love hats.

          • MizzMazz

            Hats are awesome. So are sparkly barrettes and body glitter, just because :D

        • MizzMazz

          Or for those of us who grew up in the 70’s/80’s, the popular theme of beating down on the smart kid in class, the spazz, the ugly nerd. Looking back on the popular movies and TV of the time, if you were smart, you got pushed into a locker, or thrown in a trashcan. Some people have never outgrown those tropes.

          • nightmoth

            I’m 50s/60s vintage and it was pretty much the same then.

  • BrendaKay

    More nice time: Pete Souza trolling Trump with 5 themed photos re Paris Agreement https://www.instagram.com/petesouza/

  • Yellerduck

    So a responsible gun owner shows up to meet with his president. What’s the problem? Maybe he just came from a pizza place or something.

  • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

    OT, or is it, History Lesson I Learned this A.M.~

    After Operation Desert Storm, Saddam Hussein told his cabinet – “I won! I achieved a Ceasefire against the USA, UK, and Saudi Arabia.”

    Honestly, ODS was just the first phase of a unending war.

    Now, Trump and the assholes that support and admire him think he won, yesterday. Think on this lesson…

  • Lance Thrustwell

    You know, when Lloyd fucking Blankfein considers a move you make to be overly self-interested and short-sighted…

    • Lori

      Seriously. He’s a total asshole, so when he thinks you’re over the line the reality is that the line is just a dot in your rear view mirror.

  • puredog

    “…hoping that they’ll ignore racist campaign rhetoric, multiple lower-court rulings, and widespread public opinion…”
    And if they do, they will do so without batting an eye. In other apercus, maybe Kellyanne was indulging in a truly weird Brooklynese pronunciation of “jealous.”

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Hey Wonkers,

    The attached is the actual US Paris Accords document. Read it. It is only 5 pages. Don’t believe what the trolls try to tell you. No closing of coal mines. No trillions of $$$$ sent to other countries. No theft of your vital fluids.

    http://www4.unfccc.int/Submissions/INDC/Published%20Documents/United%20States%20of%20America/1/U.S.%20Cover%20Note%20INDC%20and%20Accompanying%20Information.pdf

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Still to long for Donnie. Needs to be 140 characters or less,

      • Randy Riddle

        And no pictures!

        • Ghenghis McCann

          Unless they’re of boobs.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        True dat. And have his name in every paragraph.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      You have to be able to read between the lines. A skill apparently possessed exclusively by the functionally illiterate assholes who voted for Trump.

    • Opiwan

      But I sometimes VOLUNTEER to be drained of my bodily fluids by those vicious lefties at the Red Cross. You mean the Euros don’t want my yummy blood???

  • Randy Riddle

    “A Pennsylvania man drove to the DC Trump hotel with an AR-15, a handgun, several cellphones and survival supplies…”

    In my day, domestic terrorists carried around several payphones and correct change. Damn kids.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Guests at Trump hotels need to bring survival supplies?

      • From Russia with Love

        They could have used some in Manila yesterday.

      • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

        Yeah, the food is terrible and grossly overpriced.

        • Ghenghis McCann

          And the portions are so small. (Apologies to Woody Allen.)

      • miss_grundy

        Room service must be really, really expensive….

  • Latverian Diplomat

    A Pennsylvania man drove to the DC Trump hotel with an AR-15, a handgun, several cellphones and survival supplies and demanded to meet with Trump so he could rant about bringing down big pharma. Don’t do that

    They almost had him calmed down at one point, and then offered him “pizza”. Had to start all over again.

    Also too, did you misspell Pennsyltucky?

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    I dunno what all you libtards are complaining about. You always say people need more fibre – Donnie and his bunch are just trying to ensure they get a fibre supplement with every breath. Air you can chew – it will #MAGA!

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance
  • Edith Prickly

    Your Morning Pierce:

    By announcing that the United States was withdrawing from the groundbreaking Paris Accords regarding the world climate crisis, the president* wallowed in rank, xenophobic victimhood while basking in the scattered applause of the otherwise unemployable yahoos whose self-respect is sufficiently low that they still work for him. Any doubt that Steve Bannon is running this White House now, either personally or through his finger-puppet, obvious anagram Reince Priebus, now has evaporated. The transformation of the American government into a Breitbart comments thread is complete.

    http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/news/a55426/trump-pull-out-paris-climate-accords/

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      You see what’s happening. It’s pretty obvious to those who want to keep an open mind. (open-mindedness not a notable characteristic of Trumpkins) At what point does American get demeaned? (it really started when you won the election, asshole) At what point do they start laughing at us at a country? (see previous) We want fair treatment for our citizens, and fair treatment for our taxpayers and we don’t want other leaders and other countries laughing at us any more.(then resign. It would be a start)

      So much fucking derp…in one paragraph!

  • Yellerduck

    Actually, looking at the statements being made in cities and states in the U.S. and by countries around the world, it looks like the Don may be the planet’s greatest asset. It looks like the whole world just read a ‘Goofus and Galant’ story and decided to be Galant.

    • Grumpy Twat

      Nope. Theresa May hasn’t joined in with European leaders in condemning Trump’s decision. She phoned him to express her disappointment. Since it is only six days until the election and she is already going downhill in the polls, that is an interesting decision. And just shows what a servile arselicker she actually is.

  • Fiona rules. That is all.

    • From Russia with Love

      It’s the ear wiggling, isn’t it?

  • William
    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      Dandelion

    • TundraGrifter

      Night Train or Thunderbird are the two classic choices.

    • IdiokraticDrumpfenCovfefe

      Mad Dog 20/20?

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        But only with a meth chaser…

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Box wine

    • Marsupial99

      Gin.

    • Meccalopolis

      Shine

    • Notreelyhelping

      Tears of despair.

    • miss_grundy

      Amontillado…..

      • William

        Are the casks returnable? Need the money. I’m kinda’ Poe.

    • phoenix00

      AOT,K

  • William

    Tomorrow is my Anniversary. Nothing, not even the nightmare generated by an orange, misogynistic, pussy grabbing, mentally and morally bankrupt, Putin licking, socially retarded ass-clown is going to ruin that. I’m going to pretend that Louis Black is President, and waitress isn’t actually disgusted and outraged when I ask for lime jello and cool whip for dessert at that fancy restaurant I’m taking my bride to.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/66873f9314507a54bc5ea7e3289104ba5ab999f8044b4e561a8f5c47e78373ff.jpg

    • MizzMazz

      Congratulations, and may you two be happy for many more years.

    • Yr. Gma

      You crazy kids!

    • phoenix00

      Congrats!!!!!

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenCovfefe
    • pstockholm

      I wish this would be done in Washington more, projecting images on building. I can think of a few suitable ones. Drive the coupsters insane with outrage.

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    So many people there to help Fiona and cheer her on. So many people thinking about what she needs. Makes me kind of chokey.

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    Poor Ivanka suffered a “huge loss” with her dear old dad’s decision to pull out of the Paris agreement. But it’s all right – she consoled herself by staying home and making a nice batch of champagne popsicles.

    https://twitter.com/IvankaTrumpHQ/status/868934910161043457

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Nevertheless, experts said the IRS would be unlikely to come down on the Daily Caller News Foundation, partly due to political considerations. Four years ago, the IRS acknowledged that it improperly targeted conservative nonprofits for scrutiny during the 2012 election cycle. The agency would be reluctant to invite renewed accusations of bias by going after the Daily Caller News Foundation, tax specialists said

    Proof that working the refs 24/7 really does pay off…

    • Red Bird Ω

      Those claims were false. But they ultimately worked. That has been their tactic for a while now. Complain about an injustice against you that doesn’t exist so that when you’re guilty of committing the same crime, you don’t get called on it.

  • nightmoth

    The only article I clicked on was the Nice Time story and it’s a keeper! Thank you, Dominic, for calling our attention to it. I’m a little teary now, but in a good way.

    • MizzMazz

      That was pretty awesome wasn’t it?

      • nightmoth

        Really awesome. Not just for how wonderful Bam is but what an inspiration the actor is–talk about resilience and not giving up!

  • The Reverend Stu’

    I think Drumpf is the little child that breaks all his toys when he knows that someone is gonna come take ’em all away…

  • Red Bird Ω

    Now that covfefe has run it’s course, can I introduce a new hashtag? MAGATS……make America great again trump supporter. Use it!

  • Me not sure

    OT : The movie version of Osha Gray Davidson’s book “Best Of Enemies: Race And Redemption In The New South” starring Taraji P. Henson and Sam Rockwell began shooting in my little town yesterday. This makes about six major films to use our town including “Guardians of The Galaxy II”. I’m blowin’ this pop stand mommy blog and goin’ Hollywood y’all. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/aefa65e561462f91faead084ee9181f184ec59529964ec9877905c39b5fbb74d.jpg

    • nightmoth

      I knew you were in Georgia. So, Cartersville? Ever get over to Athens? We should organize a wonkette drinky thingy.

      • Me not sure

        You guessed right. We often come that way and stay at the Ashford manor B&B in Watkinsville. Wife likes to visit the Georgia Botanical Garden near there. I will let you know when we’re coming.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        I’d come from Atlanta!

        • nightmoth

          Yay! I was hoping you would.

    • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

      Fun!

      • Me not sure

        Based on where and when the book was set it looks like we’re standing in for the Raleigh, NC area in the 1960’s.

    • Opiwan

      Maybe you should ask everyone for their favorite on-set recipes and then Ms. Editrix can hire you as a “recipe jourmalmist”

      • Me not sure

        Wouldn’t that entail effort of some kind?

        • Opiwan

          It might. I’m too lazy to figure it out.

          • Me not sure

            Well played.

    • HorseChestnut

      Is that the 4-Way? Is that… I think you live in one of my hometowns!

      EDIT: Yup, I went to high school here. It didn’t go well for me. No offense to the many good people of the town, I just couldn’t fit in.

  • Lucas Foxx

    Ever time I read the name “H.R. McMaster”, I read it as “H.R. Pufnstuf”. I’m beginning to think Ivanka is Witchiepoo. (God bless Billie Hayes)

  • Manders

    Hillary may be joyless*, but at least she’s not working for Donald Trump, a black hole where joy goes to die.

    *She’s not. Please. She gives zero fucks right now, and if that isn’t a wonderful kind of joy, I don’t know what is.

    • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

      She is actually a joy to behold, and watching her helps me “buck up.”

      • Bitter Scribe

        Good for you, but watching her makes me feel like “WAAAAAAH, she could have been president instead of this clown!”

    • Opiwan

      Gee, she must be the first woman EVER to be told she has to “smile more” to “get ahead”… IF ONLY SHE’D KNOWN!

    • miss_grundy

      Hillz is bursting with joy watching the Orange Anus make a fool of himself. And she is probably also giving a lot of speeches and making little and big digs at the idiot. So, good for her.

    • Internet Hitler
  • alpacapunchbowl

    “To be interesting you have to be interested”. Right on. I always did have a little bit of a crush on that character.

  • Ωbjectifier

    J-Kush
    Celebrity strains are bullshit.

  • JustDon’tSayCovfefe
    • Jerry Noneofyourbizz

      But Autism is on the decline, right? More measles equals less Autism, no?

  • Ω cynmac will never surrender

    Taking the train to DC for the March For Truth and the train hit a trailer some A Idiot was towing and left hanging on the track. We were already 2 hours late. Now we are approaching 4 hours late. But I’m having lunch with a very nice Indian man, who ran out of money. So I’m buying him lunch. Good times, good times.

    • Granny Sprinkles

      Upfist for being kind to strangers like a common heathen.

      • Yr. Gma

        Or a common Jesus?

        • Granny Sprinkles

          That guy too!

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        We swapped numbers.. His English is very thick but I worked in THE data center for 30 years and I’ve heard worse. I also asked him to ‘pay it forward’ and he liked that idea. I gave him a hard time about being Hindu and eating a burger and he said ‘I can do what I want. I’m not in India’. I love riding the train for the characters you meet.

  • Yr. Gma

    I hate Disqus.

    • M.E. Lawrence

      And I hate those Dos Equis ads. However, having a daily link to a BHO/MRO story or photo would be very kind and nice-timish of Our Wonkette. The Obamas are almost as bracing as gin in these troubled times.

  • Persistent Demme

    I loooove your videos, Dominic.
    All those zoo haters should watch a Fiona video, and STFU!

  • phoenix00

    > Some people think that Special Investigator Robert Mueller has a treasure trove of information in Trump’s tweets since they offer a road map and timeline that could be used to establish criminal intent.

    Publicly repeatedly stepping on his own dick? Say it ain’t so!

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